#IT TOOK ME A YEAR AND A HALF TO REALISE WE HAVE -at least- 10 CM OF DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO OF US | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kyogre-blue · 1 month

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Hey so, I wanted to let your know that I really love your Naruto: Dashing Rescue fic. It's one of my all times fave time travelling fic. I still have the tumblr tag followed lol it's a lil reminder to self to reread whenever I come across it in the 'followed tag' section

I don't ever if you ever confirmed that it's abandoned work or not, I was wondering if you had anything to share about naruto rescue? Maybe your thoughts while writing it or scraps. Maybe not, it's been years also

Anyways, the main purpose was that I wanted to let you know that I really love your writing and a lot of your old works (oh khr too! but esp Dashing Rescue). You were an author that made me smile whenever I see your name as a teen learning about fandoms and searching out fics. I really enjoyed reading a lot of your works!

(Dumb me refresh the page before sending so I had to retype that twice and ahh I realised this got long. My bad)

Wow, that's really nice to hear. I'm glad that you enjoyed those fics! Looking at the dates, it's been almost 10 years since I posted that particular one... hard to believe.

Time travel has always been one of my most favorite fic tropes, and Naruto was really great for those because we had so many time periods, each with their own cast. The possibilities were endless.

For Dashing Rescue, I can see I posted three parts. I dug up my old doc, but there isn't much in it past those. I think I considered part 3 a good stopping point, though it looks like I wrote about a page of part 4 and outlined a few general ideas after that. I'll add that under the cut, in case you're curious.

Aside from that, the only thing I recall is that was using the movies for material and visual inspiration, but that part was probably obvious.

Anyway, thank you again for this really sweet ask. I really appreciate it ^o^

Title: Dashing Rescue

Part IV: Sand and Black Iron

Summary: AU, time travel. Finding himself in the past, Naruto has so far managed to hold back the tide of the Third Shinobi World War. That proves increasingly difficult as the Sandaime Kazekage goes missing.

~.~.~

“Thanks for agreeing to see us, Jiji,” Kushina said, bowing deeply in complete contradiction to her impolite way of addressing the Hokage — she had picked it up from Naruto. Next to her, Minato did the same. Both of them spared a glance at Sakumo, who was also waiting in the Hokage’s office and greeted them with a friendly nod.

“This is about Naruto, isn’t it?” Sarutobi guessed, setting aside his brush to give them both his full attention.

It had been two years since Naruto became an official member of the Uzumaki clan, and thus Konoha. That time had been plenty for the Sandaime to start feeling like he was going grey under his hat.

Especially after Naruto took off for Suna a few months ago and refused to come back, despite the many diplomatically worded but rather displeased messages Sarutobi received from Suna. He just hoped that whatever this was didn’t turn out to be an international incident.

“Yeah,” Kushina said bluntly. “He, uh, sent me a message.”

Or rather, he and Kushina had set about abusing the fact that they held two halves of a single bijuu, which could communicate with each other regardless of distance or circumstances. Kurama had been nothing resembling pleased at being used as an elaborate communication system, but agreed to relay urgent messages in exchange for Kushina changing the form of confinement she used on her half. She still had no idea how Naruto managed to sweet-talk the bijuu into it from his side.

“The Kazekage’s disappeared,” Kushina relayed, “but Naruto thinks he has a lead, and he wants help tracking the person responsible.” He had been increasingly evasive about what exactly he knew or at least suspected, and why, but Kushina didn’t mention that. Naruto got like that sometimes.

Still not used to these sorts of things, especially stated so baldly out of nowhere — the Kazekage, really? — Sakumo choked a little, but quickly swallowed his surprise. The Sandaime simply closed his eyes and sighed. International incident didn’t begin to cover it.

“With the Kazekage has gone missing, it’s naturally a very urgent request,” Minato added. “I might be able to expedite the journey there, if I can be assigned to the team.”

Kushina nodded sharply. “And I can file the mission request for him,” she offered.

“There is no need for that,” Sarutobi said, forcing down the urge to massage the bridge of his nose. “I will offer our services to Suna as a peace gesture.”

“Who will you send?” Sakumo asked, as he finally processed what he had heard.

“Sakumo-sempai, perhaps you could…?” Minato suggested. After all, there was no doubt about who possessed the best tracking skills in the village.

Sakumo shook his head. “That would be a terrible idea. They hate me there,” he summed up. “I was on the Suna front during the Second War, and…”

There was no need to continue. That was where Sakumo gained his fame — and notoriety, upon a path of corpses. He didn’t regret what he had done for Konoha’s sake, but war bred hatred in a vicious cycle. Back then, he had been the same, hating his enemies for what had been done to his comrades and paying back with the same in turn.

“Sending me would be more like a declaration of war than a peace gesture,” Sakumo concluded.

“It would not send the correct message, and would be a complication in itself,” Sarutobi agreed. “Unfortunately, most of the others who would be my second choice are out of the village and won’t be able to return quickly enough. Do you have a recommendation, Sakumo?”

Frowning, the man looked out the window across the village. There was more at stake than first appeared — a situation like this, involving a Kage, no less, could easily deteriorate quickly and violently. So far, they had just barely managed to avoid the outbreak of another war, but the balance was delicate at best. If Suna faltered, it wouldn’t take Iwa long to strike. And then...

On the other hand, this was Konoha’s chance to build a strong alliance with Suna. It would put the Suna council, and possibly even their Kage, in Konoha’s debt. They would be able to present a united front against Iwa, and further strengthen their position with Kumo as well.

A chance to bury the ills of the previous war…

“Kakashi,” Sakumo said, startling the others. “I recommend Kakashi.”

“Sakumo, are you sure?” Sarutobi asked, his brow furrowing as he sat forward and studied his old comrade.

“I’m sure. Kakashi has been a chuunin for four years now. He lacks experience, but his skills are top notch. His nose rivals mine, he’s observant and analytical, and he can call on one of our summons to assist him,” Sakumo explained.

The pride was clear in his voice. Minato, as Kakashi’s jounin teacher, nodded in agreement, though he also still appeared surprised by the choice.

“And… This is our chance to bury the grudges of the past. We have to take the first step. What better way to prove that we trust Suna and are serious about this alliance?” Sakumo smiled. “And I trust Minato and Naruto to keep him safe, should something go wrong.”

“...I won’t let anything happen to him,” Minato promised, recovering first.

Sarutobi took several moments longer to consider the suggestion. Finally, he nodded. “Very well,” he said. “Then I will dispatch Minato and Kakashi to Suna in all haste.”

“What? I want to go too! We’ll be a four-man team then!” Kushina protested.

While Sarutobi tried to think of some subtle way to tell her that the Kyuubi jinchuuriki wasn’t going to be allowed off into a foreign village, which could very well turn unstable at any moment, all without letting Sakumo know the situation, Minato quickly spoke up, “I don’t think I could take you that far,” he said apologetically. “Kakashi and myself will already be difficult…”

Kushina eyed him dubiously. Even though she was one of the few who understood the theoretical underpinnings of Hiraishin, she didn’t have the experience to judge how much and how far Minato could teleport.

Theoretically, Hiraishin’s chakra cost depended on the size and weight of what he was teleporting, though there were some specific caveats regarding distance and the placement of the seals — it all depended on how you went about it.

Kushina was right to distrust him. Minato might have still been able to manage another person, but at least this way there was a legitimate reason for her to stay in Konoha.

But she didn’t call him out on it. “He better come home after this,” she said instead. “It’s been months.”

Minato nodded sharply. “I’ll bring him back once we’re done.” Even if it meant a quick ambush.

“I’ll let Naruto know you’re coming,” Kushina said, and both the young jounin took their leave.

Left alone with Sakumo, Sarutobi shot the other man a considering look. “Are you sure about this?” he asked. “I have no doubt Minato and Naruto will protect him to the best of their ability,” and that ability was really quite impressive, “but you don’t have to risk Kakashi on this. We can send someone else.”

aaaaaa

///////The Third World War was put off, but relations are rough, especially when the Kazekage suddenly goes missing. (Minato is eighteen, Kakashi is ten, and Naruto is twenty one.)

Naruto knows that the true cause is Sasori. He talks to Chiyo and takes off, with Minato and Kakashi following. Chiyo suggested that Sasori would have gone to the old Rouran ruins.

Naruto asks Sakumo to make Konoha into a village that never abandons even one of its people.

—————

Timeline

Naruto arrives 21 yrs pre-series, 25 yrs pre-Shippuden, 10 yrs before he was born.

Part I, Kumo's kidnapping attempt Minato, Kushina — 13 Kakashi — 5 Naruto — 16

(Part II — 3 years in between)

Part III, Sakumo's mission Minato, Kushina — 16 Kakashi — 8 Naruto — 19

Part IV, Kazekage abducted Minato, Kushina — 18 Kakashi — 10 Naruto — 21 Sasori — 15

Kannabi Bridge, old timeline Minato, Kushina — 20 Kakashi — 12

Kyuubi attack, old timeline Minato, Kushina — 22 Kakashi — 14

—————

Title: Dashing Rescue

Part IV: Bare Your White Fangs

Summary: AU, time travel.

The Third War almost breaks out when people with bloodlines start to go missing,

Pakura from Suna, Gari from Iwa, Toroi from Kumo, and Mei from Kiri.

Obito gets kidnapped by Hiruko, Orochimaru's childhood friend and assistant.

Orochimaru is disgraced for his support and participation in the research.

—————

Title: Dashing Rescue

Part V: Rose-tinted Dawn

Summary: AU, time travel.

Jiraiya gets word of his old students being in trouble and asks Naruto to look into it. It's Madara confrontation time.

Minato and Kushina get trapped in a genjutsu world where Naruto is their son, and blond. It's really weird for them.

—————

Because the third war never happens, Minato is not nearly as famous. Orochimaru is not a Yondaime candidate either. Instead, Sakumo takes it.

—————

#asks #Naruto Rescue AU

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idontknowreallywhy · 1 year

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Best Jupidad Moments #1 Nevermoor - Ch 3 - The First Meeting

Figured I’d start to collate some of these in an attempt to analyse what it is that makes this the most beautiful father/daughter dynamic in fiction.

Herewith my ramblings (you have been warned…)

He stood with his feet wide apart and hands stuffed into trouser pockets, leaning casually against the doorframe as if he had spent half his life standing in that spot and couldn’t think of a place he felt more at home. As if he himself owned Crow Manor and the Crows were merely his dinner guests.

His eyes locked on to Morrigan’s. He grinned. ‘Hello, you.’

There’s something about how he says “you” here, rather than saying her name. It’s so familiar, so personal and it straightaway elevates her to the most important person in the room - he doesn’t NEED to say her name, it is obvious she is why he is there. It’s all about her now (whereas 5 mins ago even her ‘last meal’ was painfully NOT about her at all).

And he grins, probably nobody has ever looked at her and seemed happy before and I get the impression that people usually avoid looking at her at all (ref the fact she isn’t allowed to make eye contact). I feel this must be part of why she so quickly trusts him because he’s the first person ever to give her the impression her existence is a positive thing.

‘Mourn the death of your daughter?’ echoed Jupiter. He took two deliberate steps towards Corvus and paused, his eyes glittering. The hairs on Morrigan’s arms stood up. Jupiter’s voice dropped an entire octave, and he spoke with a cold, quiet anger that was terrible to behold. ‘Can you possibly mean the daughter standing right in front of you? The one who is demonstrably, superbly, brilliantly alive?’

Immediate shift to the other heart melting facet to our Jupidad - the protectiveness. We find out later he’s been watching her for a while and I really get a sense at this point that he is SO APPALLED with how callously she’s been treated her whole life.

Whereas Corvus appears unbothered by how his words impact his daughter, Jupiter is the opposite - despite the fact he isn’t speaking to her directly he picks his words for her benefit - “superbly” “brilliantly”. Bet she’s never heard them said about her before. He’s also underlining how superb and brilliant life itself is, hopefully giving her the courage to answer the next question…

Morrigan,’ said Jupiter, in a voice very different from the one he’d just used with her father. ‘Don’t you want to live?’

Morrigan flinched. What sort of a question was that? ‘It doesn’t matter what I want.’

‘It does,’ he insisted. ‘It matters so very, very much. Right now it’s the only thing that matters.’

He absolutely shifts tone when speaking to her - this isn’t a guy who loses the plot or can’t control his temper when he gets angry. He puts the very justifiable anger away and immediately replaces it with compassion.

He also doesn’t dismiss her feelings - he understands why she thinks the way she does but he doesn’t let her stay in that mindset. He doesn’t just tell her what to do, he doesn’t say “don’t be daft, we’ve got to run” but instead takes the time to help her realise she has the right to decide her own fate, because despite what she’s been told for 11 years what she thinks DOES matter.

And then he waits to hear the words from her, despite the Hunt closing in outside (who he knows will likely kill him too if he opposes them, he must be at least a little scared for himself as well as her).

I think that Jupiter is already chipping away at the abuse and lies that have defined Morrigan’s life and he’s only been in the room 10 mins.

The windows began to rattle. There was a faint smell of burning. ‘What’s that?’ She squeezed his hand automatically. ‘What’s happening?’ Jupiter leaned down to whisper in her ear. ‘Do you trust me?’ She answered without thinking. ‘Yes.’ ‘You sure?’ ‘Positive.’ ‘All right.’ He looked her in the eye.

And so she trusts him implicitly. She squeezes his hand like a little girl might her Daddy’s when she needs reassurance. If he hadn’t already demonstrated that he has her best interests firmly at heart it would have been weird that she does this so soon, but it isn’t because he has.

Again, he looks her in the eye.

#nevermoor #jupidad #jupiter north #morrigan crow

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redxblueihateloveyou · 2 years

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dmbj newbie here with a bronze gate question. so as i understand it, the only place the bronze gate episode takes place on film/in an adaptation is the ultimate note harper's bazaar issue bts (this is me being funny)—but does the ten years get mentioned in any of the adaptations? you have it sometimes in your gif sets is why i ask, but it's usually on b&w frames so i guess that's just reboot wu xie thinking about it? reboot would be after the 10 years, and there's the wu xie war widow movie right before? i'm just trying to understand for fic writing purposes, but as you know the adaptation timelines are so bonkers ahaha. anyway thank you and your tumblr is AMAZING—

Oh yeah I've seen some in fics confusing 10 years separation with his first time going behind the broze gates (aka heavenly palace one, after which ultimate note is set up). These are not the same. First time he left, in book 4 it did left Wu Xie shook and scared but at that time it was just the beginning of their relationship and Xiaoge didn't leave for long, he just went to see what was there and soon returned. But it has nothing to do with major tragedy in book 8, where Xaoge is already fully admitted to himself that he doesn't want to ever leave his Wu Xie but has no other choice, and their 10 years long separation.

Tbh adaptations timelines are all accurate (its just the actors age who play Wu Xie I think confuse ppl when it comes to Sand Sea, Reboot and now Tibetan Sea Flower, bc Zhu Yilong looks younger even tho it's set after the other two). But its all accurate. Heavenly palace is the first time Xiaoge goes behind the gates, by that time his feelings for Wu Xie hasn't established yet (bc as NPSS said it is hard for him due his past to feel that way and it took a long time for Wu Xie to break through even tho he surprised him from the very beginning) so when he leaves, he doesn't quite understand yet why he wanted to look at Wu Xie before he left. He comes back pretty soon after and thats where UN starts aka the time their feelings for each other develop, Wu Xie after the first bronze gates first time feels scared that he might not see him ever again so after that it changes their dynamics a lot and Xiaoge starts to realise that Wu Xie is his home but is still confused about such foreign feeling bc he never ever wanted to stay, which finally in book 8 leads to him finally admitting it and the "it's just you" infamous confession. He realizes that doesn't want to leave Wu Xie anymore, but sadly and cruelly its also the time they're forced to separate not at his own will. He then finds out the whole thing about Wu Xie being the next one who has to go behind the gates and takes him place instead.

So thats the book that goes after UN, there's no adaptation for this one yet, but I think everyone waits for this one the most xD. Then will be "Tibetan Sea Flower" (the one that's gonna be released soon), its set 5 years after Xiaoge leaving. This one is gonna be very angsty bc in this time period he's just very uncontrollably angry and quite chaotic. He has a hard time dealing with all the pain so first years out of these 10 are the most intense. After that goes the "Sand Sea" series (thats only half of it), it's the last of these 10 years, aka my least fav part, bc at that time he's colder, his soul seems dead and he's mostly just depressed and tired af and its all well.. depressing.

Then goes "10 years later" and all the extras. Also the most anticipating part we all want to see, but still don't have the adaptation. Aka them reuniting and Wu Xie saying "fuck ya all", taking Xiaoge to the village and iron triangle enjoying peace and quiet.

And then goes Reunion the Sound of the Providence, which is first 2 books of the Reboot series.

As for mentioning, I'm not sure what do you mean its not mentioned? In "Sand Sea" series it's mentioned all throughout the series. When grandma shows Wu Xie's 10 years calendar and at the end when Pangzi tells Wu Xie that Xiaoge might not recognize him and that they'll reunite soon specifically, but I mean.. the whole series is about that xD I don't get what you mean…? The piece of bronze gate at the end to terrorize him also counts as a direct mention I think.

As for Reboot, also there were scenes like this one, where Pangzi tells Wu Xie not to panic and that "if Xiaoge could survive behind the gates for 10 years he's gonna be okay" and Wu Xie almost starts crying and his sickness worsens bc he couldn't breathe:

So here's the exact scene voicing it, too.

But in general just for the record, in the books after they reunite, they literally fucking NOT ONCE FUCKING TALKED ABOUT IT! And that's fucking pissing everyone off. Like I understand why, bc I recently came to a conclusion that they both know everything already (Wu Xie figured everything out during these 10 years and Xiaoge knows what he was doing from Hei Xiazi I'm sure). So all that is mentioned is that Wu Xie hid his scars bc he didn't want Xiaoge to see them first time he sees him again. We also know that Wu Xie is mad about Xiaoge taking his place and that Xiaoge is mad bc he did it to keep Wu Xie happy and innocent and instead everything went the opposite way. But they both never mention it to each other bc there's no point really, I guess. I think they both know that being mad about the fact that they both did same thing is pointless. And they won't apologize too, bc they don't feel sorry for what they did. Its like saying "you had no right to blah blah" when you did the same thing xD. So no one speaks about the "thing", only very subtly bc its a very sensitive matter. It was pretty clear that they wanted to forget and just be with each other as much as possible right now. Like when Xiao Hua was like "I get why you want to shelter yourself alone with him here in the village after that and just be near each other".

But then again in Reboot 10 years PTSD shines all throughout the SOP part heavily. Bc with Wu Xie getting sick thing.. its just all that pain resurface and war flashbacks just linger heavily in the air in the first two books. Bc its the first time since that that they have to separate again unwillingly and Wu Xie just doesn't handle it well even with the fact that he knows that its "not like that" and that he promised to return to him as soon as possible. And Xiaoge has troubles with controlling his anger there, bc he has his own PTSD aka "wanted to protect my treasure so he'd live a long carefree life" and now that he's back he found out that not only it's not carefree but it also might end. So after too short of a period of happiness the trauma comes back and there are lots of parts like "the thought of him leaving again made my heart sink" (in the book he was crying next to the window in the village when he found out that Xiaoge has to leave, in the series he cried in bed). So when it comes to Reboot it might not be directly mentioned, but its always there. And all of these emotions were in my opinion transferred very well by both sides in the series. Like it was the hard part to play in my opinion bc it was the first time they had to deal with their ptsds after short happy times and it all came back like a tsunami, but they both were very stoic about and the only way you could get how Wu Xie felt is by reading his thoughts directly, not bc he showed anything. So they had to somehow transfer it to the screen, which is real hard considering that in that part they're both emotionally constipated and Wu Xie also learned how to hide his pain.

So in this aspect adaptations are all accurate.

P.S. Not really that related to the question, but to me the most upsetting thing about this is that the only thing that can help them at the moment with this is not currently possible.

Bc if you think about it... talking about these cursed times won't help really, bc there's not much to talk about it. I mean what are they gonna say "sorry not sorry"? lolz. And it's like not the usual chinese bl stuff where one has no idea what other did, so someone has to tell them. Here they both know what they did and for whom, they also both by now know about their own feelings and aren't in any denial. The only problem is that they both think that they're trash compared to each other, bc they both see one another as their whole world without whom they can't live.

So the only thing that can help them rn is getting together. I would really want Wangxian like thing with Xiaoge kissing Wu Xie's scars bc hell he needs it so much, I cry. You know what I mean. Thats in my opinion is the only way they can soothe the pain and cure their ptsd little by little. By loving each other, thats all. But with the list of all the problems right now its just.. idk how to deal with this honestly.

P.P.S. Zhu Yilong always talks about these 10 years in all of his interviews lmao. And in one as an obsessed books fan he also agreed that its better not bring this up, bc Wu Xie almost got mad during those xD

P.P.P.S. Thanks for loving my blog and hopefully that helped somehow, bc I remember being hella confused back in the days xD

#answered #lunarriviera #pingxie #dmbj #daomu biji #lost tomb #zhang qiling #wu xie #lost tomb reboot

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reptilia0freptiles · 6 months

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Through the Screen

OC fic collab with @violetthunderstorm (Her prologue here: LINK)

This is the first!/Next

Prologue: Cerise

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It had been 10 months since it happened. Nile, her roommate, her girlfriend, had died in a fight with a super-powered arsonist, and Cerise had joined a gang of bandits. Weeks later, she failed her first mission and met Sepia and Shamrock, who let her stay at their place. Even though it's been nearly a year, she could tell that Shamrock disliked her, however they were more tolerable with each other now (with a little bit of pushing and nagging from Sep). Cerise still had her job out in Stickcity as a therapist, and life was pretty chill. She kept in contact with her client, and she had friends to hang out with.

She was coming home from work, on a particularly nice day. The wind whistled in her hair, the birds flew free from the treetops, and the digital forest around her was bustling with hidden life. The magenta stick figure took a moment to take in the scene. And then a purple hollowhead with WINGS suddenly glided down before her.

"Hi! What's your name?" the strange stick asked brightly as she landed, holding out a hand for Cerise to shake. She just, flew down, and expected her to act normal? SHE COULD FLY?! Her next words, after regaining enough composure to speak, reflected her terrified confusion. "DID YOU JUST FLY DOWN HERE?!" The new figure looked with a bamboozled expression, "Yes... is that not okay? I've never been here before." She fiddled with her necklace, and Cerise felt a twinge of guilt for her outburst. She shook her head, explaining, "Not illegal, per say, more like nobody wants to interact with a super-powered stick." Cerise remembered what happened Nile. "Neither do I..." she mumbled. "Oh, sorry about that. I don't have any powers, I'm just wearing a set of wings I drew before leaving my PC. I can take them off if they're making you uncomfortable." Well, at least the new stick didn't seem dangerous, and Cerise shook her head as she responded, giving a weak smile "Nah, it's fine. But maybe it's better so no one else sees you. Anyway, I'm Cerise. Vivid Cerise." She took another second to observe the new stick, and nearly didn't hear her introduction. "I'm Amethyst. Why would it be bad if I were seen?" as she asked, Amethyst shot Cerise a confused look. The answer to that was easy. "Not many sticks around here like superpowers or the such anymore. Long story short, we ended up with a blown up mountain because who knows why." she explained. Amethyst nodded. "That does sound pretty bad. I'll put my wings away for now. Better to be safe probably. Would you like to be friends?" Wait. That was pretty quick. Cerise blinked, then gave a more genuine smile. "Yeah, sure, why not?"

"Hell yeah! I've only been in this world for about half an hour and I already made a friend!" Amethyst was hyped, just by making a new friend. She invited Cerise to visit the PC and told her about her creator, Stella. "She's really cool. We're best friends. It was actually her idea for me to explore here when we found a way here hidden behind the WiFi." That sounds intriguing. And fun. Cerise nodded, "Sure. I didn't realise you were a created stick, but that makes sense. I'll go." Before she could react, Amethyst swooped her up and took her threw a hole in the sky, and up into Stella's PC. Upon arriving, Cerise heard a voice from through the screen. "Back already- Oh! Who's that stick figure? New friend? My name's Stella, what's yours?" Ah, so this must be the creator. She awkwardly stepped closer to the cursor and introduced herself. "I'm Cerise. Nice to meet you." Stella didn't react. "She can't hear you through the screen. Use this." Amethyst handed her a textbox. It seemed... inconvenient. "Seriously? Fine." Cerise took it and typed her greeting. "Oh. Cerise huh? Nice name. Would you like to play videogame with me?" Hmm, did she? Well, she knew that Shamrock wouldn't mind if she didn't come back in a few hours so she figured it was fine. "Sure, I can play! I'll have to go back down to stickcity soon, so let's make this quick" After playing videogames for a few brilliant hours, Amethyst dropped (not literally, thank cursors) her back through the portal home, and Cerise promised to bring Shamrock and Sepia next time. Heh, they wouldn't believe this.

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End of Prologue II

#reptilia writing #reptilia OCs #Collab w/ Violet

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readerbell · 2 years

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I just finished reading The Well of Ascension. Here are my notes.

I just finished reading The Battle of Luthadel portion and what the hell, Brandon? At least the last Sanderlanche was epic. This one just felt sad. Clubs & Dockson dead. Damn the two Koloss who killed them in particular.

And Tindwyl! I just wanted Tindwyl and Sazed to have a happily ever after. After her life of difficulty and Sazed thinking he’d never experience love because he thought himself half a man, they deserved a nice cottage in Terris at the end of this. But nooooo… If anything happens to Spook I will lose it.

I don’t even feel all that happy about Vin’s incredible defence of Luthadel. Even the victory feels bitter. Which in itself is a sign of great writing I suppose. I’m sure Vin feels the same way.

And those inquisitors! My first thoughts when I started reading this book were these guys are up to something & I kept asking where Marsh is throughout. What the hell is going on with Marsh anyway? Does becoming an Inquisitor change someone’s personality or something? His whole ‘my brethren’ stuff was uncomfortable. And now they’ve killed the Keepers and taken their bodies. Are they about to create a force of Super Inquisitors with feruchemy powers? Also, who was the Inquisitor people spotted in the city? HOLD ON! Sazed is the last of the Keepers? *whispers* Does this mean they’ve died out as a race? Where are Tindwyl’s daughters? Maybe The Keepers didn’t give that information away. Maybe.

Since I’m word vomiting now, let me tell you I did NOT see TenSoon coming. I was sat at my desk shouting NO NO NO as I listened to that portion. I started mourning OreSeur until I realised the Kandra I cared about was the undercover…undercover one. I hope we get to see him again.

Speaking of things I didn’t see coming, I did not think Allriane was going to be a good person. I was expecting Shan Elleriel 2.0.

I’m guessing The Well of Ascension is in Kredik Shaw? Why was that mist creature pointing Elend to the refugees? Is it a force for good? 🤨🤨

What is it with these diaries btw? Does someone in Mistborn Era 2 discover Dockson’s last writings before he died? And Sazed’s notes to the now dead Keepers? Did Rashek forge Kwaan’s diary? Or was Kwaan mad? HOLD ON! Hear me out… what if…Kwaan had the same voice Zane had in his head? So he was normal right? And then the voice took over and that explains the contradictions? Maybe?

Kwaan spoke about being Holy First Witness. WHAT?! Please don’t get Sazed mixed up in this. Granted, he’s been mixed up in this already but like man. I don’t want Sazed to die. Having said that, Sazed needs to go back to those Church of the survivor people and ask them where they got the term Holy First Witness from. Something is afoot.

The mists Vin drew upon in the last book was the Well of Ascension? Look at me pretending to know what the Well is.

Kwaan is the mist creature? The mist creature is opposed to whatever Vin & co are doing. See, if they hadn’t killed Rashek…this book would be much shorter.

Statlin City is about to become important…probably in the next book.

*narrows eyes* Is Vin about to drill a hole in the bore holding the Dark One? Lanfear, is that you?

Marsh!

MARSH…?! They have Marsh under Compulsion?! WAIT A MINUTE IS THE GUY FROM ZANE’S HEAD CONTROLLING MARSH? WHAT IS GOING ON? I hope Sazed pulls out his spikes. Sazed had 10 rings left right? I can’t remember what was in them but GET HIM, Sazed! That makes me sad because I liked Marsh more than Kelsier.

Omg. What if this was all an elaborate plan?! Marsh was the one who took Sazed to the Inquisitor stronghold. If it wasn’t for Marsh they wouldn’t have access to Kwaan’s “diary”.

SUPER SAZED! Is every book going to end with Sazed being a super hero? If so, count me in (I’m still mourning our losses though).

Are we about to get yet a new metal?! 🤨

“You spent the last two years teaching, but I spent them killing. Killing so many people. . . .” Marsh killed the people at that fortress? (I can’t spell the name).

Breeze?! Who else has a duelling cane? Ham and Spook are with the Ventures.

WAIT WHAT?! ELEND?! The mist creature is evil?! WHAAAATTTTTT! Is there a REWIND metal? I demand one.

Oh it was Ham who helped Sazed. Nice. But Elend? Are we just killing everyone who grew in this book, Brandon? Tyndwil? Clubs and his newly fashioned gift from Sazed. Dockson and his final realisation. Now our little Emperor. IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO SPOOK!! Where is Spook?

Do not trust the kindly voice, Vin.

*“. for he must not be allowed to release the thing that is imprisoned there.”* WAS THIS WHAT WAS IN THE STOLEN NOTES?! 😮😮😮 Uh-Oh. Vin. What have you done?

The mist creature hurt Elend so she could choose him instead of the world! Does the mist creature have a name?

Elend is suddenly an allomancer? Our new metal creates allomancers?

Why are you going to the Conventical, Sazed?!

Prediction: we’re about to discover a new diary.

* He held the rubbing up and slapped it against the steel plate on the wall. And the two did not match.* BRANDON! What?! So Marsh and whatever was controlling him did set Sazed and the gang up. 😭 So the diary we’re getting in book 3 is Kwaan’s actual diary? Oh man, I wish Tindwyl was here to see this. She was the one who kept pointing out the contradictions.

“I write these words in steel, Kwaan’s first words said, for anything not set in metal cannot be trusted.” MY MOUTH IS AGAPE. I literally had to sit up. It’s past my bed time. I have work in the morning. Brandon Sanderson…is a genius. I don’t quite forgive him for taking Tindwyl but wow. Okay, talk about a pay off.

Let it be known, I was team Rashek shouldn’t be killed anyway. Rashek was an evil good guy? This is why Rashek was hunting the Keepers?! IS THIS IS WHY THE INQUISITORS WENT FOR THE KEEPERS?! Hold on. Pause. So…who was controlling Marsh? I am so confused.

Let me go buy the next book.

#Cosmere #Mistborn #the well of ascension #vin venture #Elend venture #Sazed #tindwyl #my homie #clubs #breeze #Dockson #spooks #what happened to Demoux during the battle

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martsonmars · 1 year

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6, 10 and on behalf of your avoided WIPS - 12

my poor, neglected wips thank you.

6. Favorite title you used (this year, I'm only looking at this year)

Titles are often a painful moment - I either have the perfect idea immediately or beg @facewithoutheart to title my story (even when she hasn't read it). The fact that I have a fic titled Show Me Who You Are and one named I Know What You Are says a lot. (I didn't even realise how similar they were until much after I published the second one.)

I'm pretty proud of The Curse of the 31 Cheeseburgers / The Tale of the Cursed Meal but mostly because it became a series and I had fun keeping the same structure in the title. I also love in the Dust of Dragons though I forgot who came up with it (me? Christina? Who knows).

I could list many other titles I like tbh, but I couldn't pick a favourite. They all do their job!

10. What work was the quickest to write?

All my fics under 1500 words were written directly on Tumblr, so they took me one or two hours at most. I wrote can't stop the feline and Rodents of Unusual Size in one go too, because they were birthday gifts and I wrote both of them on the day I had to post them (well, I actually wrote the fic for Kati 2 days after her birthday...). The Tale of the Cursed Meal was also pretty quick to write - it took at least 3 days but I remember intense, quick writing sessions.

But I think the gold medal goes to the first 40k of where I belong. I was on a roll, I wrote half of it in a week hitting 7k in a day at some point. It was intense. Definitely my biggest accomplishment because I can rarely stay focused on a WIP for so long (the fact that I haven't been able to write the last 5 chapters yet proves it hahaha).

I'm also proud of The Vampire and the Boy in the Tower. The chapters are short and I'm not updating daily but it's an interesting challenge and it forces me to be quick.

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

This is both easy and hard to quantify. If we ignore the doc where I list all of my ideas and simply consider the folder where I keep the "started" WIPs (started can mean they are more or less outlined, or that I started them and abandoned them after 600 words, or that I wrote chapters and then moved on), I currently have around 80 documents. But if we count the things I really want to write at the moment... I've definitely lost interest in many of them. (But not to the point of giving them up!) I need to finish the WIPs I've already started posting, for sure. One at a time. (While also starting new WIPs or I wouldn't be me.)

from this list of asks

#maybe i should stop doing these ask games since my answers are always i dont know or i cant decide hahaha

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spacemagicandlaserswords · 1 year

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Pass the happy! 🌻🌈 When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!

Thank you! This is the second one of these that I've received and I should probably do them. It feels like one of those things or exercises that are good for you that psychologists encourage you to do. At least it feels like one that I've been given in the past. Not much makes me happy anymore but hopefully I can find enough things to list.

The Bad Batch. This is my current hyperfixation and I cannot put into words how good/relieving/happy? it is to have something that your brain can actually focus on and be occupied and enraptured and consumed by and not feel like it's slowly decaying mush that is past its prime.

Watching The Clone Wars for the first time. It's a little project I've got going on for myself to document my thoughts and reactions as I watch The Clone Wars (and then Rebels) for the first time. For various reasons I never ended up watching TCW or Rebels when they first came out. I am deeply enjoying watching it now and I can literally feel myself falling more and more in love with the clones. I adore them. I just want to clutch them all to my chest and protect them from the world and their fate. I just finished watching 2x10 'The Deserter' and I have so many thoughts and reactions and opinions because omg was it such a good episode for a whole multitude of reasons, the very top being REX CHEST. Watching the TCW is the only thing that makes me laugh these days. Cackling and laughing at my laptop at 2am as I watch this ridiculousness (affectionate) are my only moments of actual joy and if that's all I can ever find now then fuck it I'll take it.

Being more involved in fandom again. I'm really enjoying interacting more on Tumblr again. I didn't realise how much I'd missed it. It took a bit of prodding from my psychologist and it wasn't the project I had actually talked about doing but finally starting this little side blog for my Star Wars nonsense has actually given me something worth existing for again, as ridiculous as it seems.

Reading fanfic. Everything for fanfic writers, they deserve the world and more. They make these intricately crafted universes or tiny moments and vignettes, give us a world to wholly immerse ourselves in and sink into, provide us with an escape from the miserable existence of our hellscape and then give it away FOR FREE?! This is one of the reasons I've always loved fandom and why it's one of the few places (possibly the only) where I feel I can be the real genuine me and like I belong. So much of fandom is based on the love and passion of something that we adore so much and the free exchange and gifting of things to each other and complete strangers and the whole fandom at large that express our love for our thing (eloquent, I know). Fics, fanart, gifs, gif sets, screenshots, remixes, deep dive analyses, thoughts, reactions, theories, everything. Fanfic has always been the one that that best typifies that to me. I'm currently reading The Prime Override by @yukipri and omg is it just absolutely truly astounding. It is such a good read! Go and read it. You must. It is an absolute Must Read. Put it at the top of your To Read list/pile and then start reading it immediately.

Writing fic. I didn't think I'd ever do this. I have voraciously inhaled fanfic for probably over half my life now but I didn't think I'd ever be good enough to actually write fanfic. I've always been stronger and had more experience in academic writing and wasn't quite as good at creative writing in school. Poor little teenage writer me must've internalised this and taken it to mean that I wasn't good enough at creative writing. I've always had ideas for scenarios/alternate realities/fantasies related to various fandoms I've been in over the years but that's what they remained, ideas stuck in my head. Until I kept having more and more of them about the The Bad Batch and they kept lodging their claws into my brain and refusing to leave. I think it all just built up to a point and then one particular idea pushed it all over the edge (along with a few other things). Before I realised what I was doing I had basically just keyboard vomited a whole bunch of words into a google doc in an actually passionate and motivated haze that I hadn't experienced in years, probably close to a decade. I haven't had that feeling of actually, genuinely enjoying something and being so passionate and deeply involved in it that it feels like you can't keep up with your own thoughts in so, so, so long. The kind where you look up at the clock and somehow it's 2:30am in the morning and you have no idea how time had passed that quickly and for how long you'd been so deeply consumed by and focused on what you were working on. I thought it had been lost to me and that I'd never experience it again after everything that's happened. But writing fanfic has given it back. It's not the same, it never will be, but it's something similar, if changed, and related and I will take it and cling on to it for dear life for as long as it stays.

Well that got a bit more long and involved than I intended. I've always had a habit of rambling and blithering on in my internet typings so that makes sense. I'll try to keep the next one a little shorter.

#personal #ask #happy #list #5 things #5 things that make you happy #life

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wanderingstethoscope · 1 year

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My Near-Death Experience in Vet School

Trigger warning.

You read that right.

It was the final year of vet school. After 4 and a half long years of constant grind, sweat and tears, we have made it this far as vet students. All the more reason to push through no matter what, right? Wrong. Well, not always at least.

I probably should have gotten myself checked up earlier on as soon as symptoms were starting to show. It was about the middle of the year, so I was half-way through completing my clinical rosters. I started feeling light-headed and dizzy at random times during the day, and I always got home feeling completely exhausted. When my mother would tell me to do a chore such as the dishes, I could only mutter the words “I just do not have the energy.”

But of course, I thought that it was normal. I mean, I did work a full 16 hours that day, and the day before, and the day after (yes, really). So obviously, I brushed it off. This exhaustion continued for the next couple of months. I started experiencing shortness-of-breath, my heart rate was always quicker than normal (I assumed that this was due to anxiety while working in the vet hospital), and I struggled to recall certain facts. However, being the goal-driven but also very stubborn me, I refused to get myself checked. I forced myself to push through. In a way, I was worried that my condition might be serious, and that if I were to end up in hospital, I would have had to miss school. I guess my subconscious knew that it could be something serious going on, but I avoided the thought altogether as I all I cared about was school.

Stupid, stupid girl.

Fast forward towards the end of the year; when my family and I planned a weekend trip to Ohakunae, a town in the North Island of New Zealand (where I studied). That was when we noticed that something was....indeed, seriously wrong with me. I could hardly take a few steps forward without getting out of breath. My thoughts were foggy; as I could hardly think straight. On the way back from our trip, I was so nauseous that I had to lay in the back seat. For some very weird reason, my body suddenly decided that it was craving soup dumplings. Soup dumplings, out of everything! I begged and begged my parents to get some at our usual restaurant “Noodles and Dumplings”. No other soup dumplings would have satisfied me. Once we got there and took a seat at our table, I realised that I had to use the toilet urgently. However, my energy levels were so dangerously low that I could not even find the energy to stand up. The soup dumplings arrived; I took one bite and placed immediately placed my utensils back down onto the table. I could not swallow. I managed an apple when we arrived home. However, things got worse when I suddenly threw up. I remember reaching for my phone to call my dad, and I could hardly utter the words “Get the ambulance.”

The ambulance arrived shortly after; but strangely enough, all my vitals seemed normal. Except for one thing. When they pulled my eyelids down with their fingertips, they all went; “Hmm, well you are pretty pale.”

They rushed me to the nearest clinic in town. Since I still felt nauseous on the way there, they had to give me an intramuscular shot of Odansetron into my right thigh. That hurt like a ****. The effects of the anti-nausea medication kicked in after 10 minutes, and I immediately felt better. When the doctor performed vital checks on me, everything was normal and I felt so much better. Hence, they let me go and told me to “stay home and rest”.

My parents, however, were not satisfied. Especially my dad. He refused to let it slide and insisted that I needed a blood test. So after much arguing, there I was again, back at the clinic, getting a blood test. I remember sitting in the waiting room with my parents for results. When my mum and I decided to take a walk around the block, just as we stepped our foot out the door, the doctor came running after us, with a piece of paper flapping in her hands; which I assumed were my blood test results. She uttered the words that would drive any parent into a mode of panic...

“Your daughter needs to go straight to the hospital, right now, to get a blood transfusion. They are expecting her RIGHT NOW!”

Turns out that my haemoglobin levels were dangerously low, at 44g/L (normal being at least 121g/L).

I was pretty much on my death bed already.

My parents rushed me to the emergency department at the only hospital in town. Thankfully enough, it was not a long wait. I received a group-chat text on my phone. It was from one of my friends from my clinical rotation at school; and it read; “Hey guys, there is a blood transfusion cat coming in later today. Anyone want the case?”

I replied, with “shocked” emojis; “I’m getting one at the hospital now!”

Turns out that I needed three whole bags of blood. Even with three bags, my blood levels were still low at 80g/L. However, all I was worried about at the time was how I could get back into clinical rotations at school. Yes, that was how stupid I was being overly focused on schoolwork. I was about to die and yet, that wasn’t enough for me to “wake up” and to put myself and my health first. I insisted to get discharged from the hospital the next day, so I could get back to work at school. Fortunately, the doctors felt that it was alright to let my body regenerate its own blood while staying on iron supplements. Hence, my wish to be discharged the following day, was granted.

I went straight back to work the following morning. My friends thought I was crazy. Now looking back, I probably was. I completely ignored my needs, for school. I pushed my health aside, for school. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. Carrying that belief with me all throughout vet school was detrimental to my health, both emotionally and physially, but I didn’t realise what I was doing to myself at the time. I was so close to death, and yet I did not care. A very scary thought indeed.

Here I am typing this, about 5 months after the incident. I am still on iron supplements, and have included more iron-based foods into my diet, such as beef, lamb and tofu.

What I learned from this experience is how critical it is to love yourself enough to put your health first, before anything else. If I am unable to do that, how can I expect myself to save an animal?

By the way, when I asked my friends at school how the “blood transfusion cat” was doing, they replied me with “Better than you! Didn’t end up coming in!”

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mylyricpages · 2 months

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INTERVIEW WITH JEFF SCOTT # 9 ( 2023 )

“If I‘m not doing something new then there‘s no challenge, and if there‘s no challenge then I‘ve found there‘s no point either.”

Barely a year after ‘On The Outside Looking In’ James Ellis is releasing not just one but two new lyric collections. “If I’m always pushing forward creatively then I’m happy,” he tells Jeff Scott, “and I know all that effort I’m putting in is worth it.”

IN THE FIRST part of this interview I met up with Ellis in Caswell Bay, Swansea to talk about his two brand new lyric collections. First, we went song by song through his 27th collection ‘We Are Ascending.’ In this second part we‘ll be talking about the 12 ‘songs’ on his 28th collection ‘All Those Years Between Us,’ originally planned to come out in 2024.

“I’d always planned to write between 15 and 17 songs for ‘We Are Ascending,’ Ellis tells me, “It’s always about what feels right at the time. 15 worked especially well too as I’d broken the collection up into three acts, 5 songs to an act, it just had a nice symmetry to it I really liked. I finished ‘The Class Of 23’ and for a few days after I thought that was it, but then the lyrics started flowing again, really flowing, even more so than the last few months. I thought, well, I can keep writing for now, stockpile whatever a write now for a possible collection next year.

It turned out I was pretty wrong in that assumption because within three weeks or so I had about 8 songs finished with at least three or four more bubbling away and I knew then that for the first time in 10 years I was going to release more than just one collection in the same year.”

A Prophet’s Dream/ Fairweather Warning

This was going to be on ‘We Are Ascending’ before ‘The Class Of 23’ replaced it, but this version turned out quite different to that original version.

Around this time I was listening to a lot of more Celtic and folk based stuff and that’s what re-energised me as the new lyrics began flowing. I guess it spurred me on as I wanted to explore that side of things more. I also wanted to write in a more narrative style again and the two things just naturally came together. The weather elements and biblical imagery crept in as well. As soon as this song was done I knew I’d tapped into a rich new vein, so I just went ahead and took a deep dive.

In Our Time Of Dying/ The Last Signal

The opening refrain of each verse had been hanging around a while, I think I may have come up with it some point after the ‘On The Outside …‘ sessions. I just started writing this one without being clear on what it was I was actually writing about, but after a few verses I realised it was about looking back at those days during the pandemic when things felt very different for a while. The way we treated each other was different. ‘The Last Signal’ half of the song takes on a bit more of a darker edge, it’s more about how sometimes we don’t listen to the messages we’re given. We forget too easily, and I’m as guilty of that as anyone.

All Those Years Between Us/ This Is The Age

In some ways the subject matter in this is a holdover from the ‘We Are Ascending’ sessions. I guess I still had some thoughts about where we are as a society, the digital age, our lives revolving around social media, and in the last few years the whole cancel culture thing that‘s sprung up. That may have come from a good place originally but now it’s tilted too much, gone too far in the opposite direction. When people are vilified simply for having an opinion or an off brand sense of humour there’s something that’s gone wrong with society. We can’t all agree about everything, we never have. People need to grow up again.

It’s basically saying that with all those accumulated years that we’ve built up between us shouldn’t we be a bit wiser about these things by now.

All The Best Poets Die Young

I’d written the chorus and a few bits and pieces for what became ‘We Are The Sea’ but once past this I realised I’d slipped into writing something else entirely. It felt far closer to poetry than lyrics, or a short story or at the very least it was somewhere between those three things.

I already had the title laying around and somehow they found each other. It’s basically a young poet going off to war. In my head it was world war I but that isn’t mentioned in the song itself. It took about four attempts to get it where I wanted and the story formed as I wrote it.

Twilight’s Last Stand/ Spirits & Ghosts

Both ‘Twilight’s Last Stand’ and ‘Spirits & Ghosts’ had an interesting journey. As I said ‘Twilight’s Last Stand’ was originally a song called ‘Shadowlands, written at the very start of the 2023 sessions. It was long, it was unwieldy and it never really worked. Out of this came another song, ‘Spirits & Ghosts’ and both of them were very different from what I thought the rest of ‘We Are Ascending’ was now growing into.

I still finished both of them and they were even in the running order until very late in the day. When I began the sessions for ’All Those Years …’ I realised these two songs were only half finished and far better suited to this collection. Once I had that all figured out they made a lot more sense to me and I rewrote both of them in about a day or so.

The Promises We Make Ourselves

I wrote this about the silent promises we make to ourselves, those little bargains, the ones we never tell anyone about. It doesn’t follow a normal structure, there’s no chorus, etc, it’s basically just five verses. It just came out that way and I didn’t feel like it needed anything else added.

A Wanderer’s Call

It was a mostly organic process working on ‘All Those Years …’ but at the same time I had certain aims. I wanted it to be more about writing little stories, creating characters, kinds of snapshots of a bigger story. Another thing I wanted to do was play with language more, use words and rhymes I hadn’t used before. It was another way of challenging myself.

This approach really came into play at the tail end of things, in the last five songs, beginning with this, and it’s an approach I want to explore further.

If you strip all that away though it’s a just a simple song about someone wandering far and wide but still always thinking about being home.

Wait For Me/ Long Road Home

This went through quite a few different versions before I got what I wanted. It’s kind of a narrative led thing, about a wanderer, maybe even the same one from the previous song, making his way home and what he sees and who he meets along the way. The first pass was more of a humorous thing, playful in a way, but it wasn’t really working for me.

It was only when I took a similar approach to ‘A Wanderer’s Call’ that it came into focus, especially once I found that tag ‘And me, I’m just making my way home the long way round.’ I liked the way that line undercut all those biblical like things that were going on. Great events are happening but this guy, he’s just passing through, just trying to get home.

It was actually a whole lot longer than this. I cut out a whole middle section, about five verses, that later found their way into ‘We Are The Sea.’

The Girl With The Rose Tattoo

By this time I was getting deep into studying English folk ballads, the Celtic stuff and the like, and listening to bands like The Waterboys and The Pogues. I was really enjoying diving into an area I hadn’t explored before.

This started out as an attempt at one of those old English folk ballads , and I emphasize the word ‘attempt’ ( laughs ) but the second half to me, seems to have more of a sing along quality, which incidentally, led me to the next song ‘The Shores Of Evermore.’ This was written pretty quickly, probably the quickest song of this collection. I’ve had the title since the ‘Electric Hymns’ sessions in 2019 and finally got to use it here.

Also, that sing along part was originally part of ‘Wait For Me’ before I cut it.

The Shores Of Evermore

I wanted to do something that had more of an upbeat feel in the words, a sprightly, fun thing, a kind of sing along, shanty song type of thing if you know what I mean, like those old Celtic, humorous tales they sing in pubs. Whether I captured that is another matter but that’s what I was aiming for ( laughs ). Successful or not I really enjoyed playing with the language of that and I’m always keen to try something new. It had a couple of false starts but came pretty fast at the end of the day.

We Are The Sea/ Strange Weather

From the moment I started this collection I had a few ideas in mind. One was that I wanted this last song to feel kind of epic, be wordy and long and feel like a proper ending, a finale that echoed what came before.

The whole ‘We Are The Sea’ idea came up pretty early so I was able to drop little elements into the other songs along the way that could be echoed here, to really give the whole thing a sense of proper cohesion. I like how the ‘Strange Weather’ half also brought things nicely full circle.

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unalomepath · 4 months

Text

365/365

Hi Dear Me!

What a year! Last post done in the end of 2022. Let's summarise!

Moving abroad.

Well, I knew that it wouldn't happen. I didn't even want that. I guess I was trying to convince myself that it is a good solution and time to run from Poland, but deep in my hear I just knew. In the end the main reason was that we did not find a proper flat due to be expats. Also we couldn't take our cats. Everything with that idea was a mess and I completely forgot about it a little later.

Job change!

New opprtunity to develop in a strong worldwide company and great salary (60% rise). Am I dreaming?

Mess in my head.

In the beginning of May, I am not sure, I started therapy. I could not bare anymore panic attacks and feeling just like a trash. I felt responsible for every fucking misfortune. May long weekend we spent in Greece, Corfu. Only because I had a really high pressure that I need to go somewhere. It's been 6 months of staying at home, it is unacceptable! But the weather was bad - half of the stay heavy rain, and if not - almost all the time fully cloudy. It affected the whole experience. And I was utterly sure that it is my fault. Also we spent sooo much money for that trip only because it was in a desirable date. We were arguing, I was depressed and annoying, everything went awful. At least in my head.

During the therapy I learnt to think and see myself and the world differently. My therapist made me aware that the wather is not under my control and that I forgot about everything good - like the fact that I am a great planner when it comes to the sightseeing or renting a car.

New job is going worse and worse...

New dream job turned out to be a disaster I hate. I realised that it is not me. It a imagined me, extravert, confident and proud. I had to go on a official trip to Germany, I felt there lost, I did not understand a thing, everyting was so confusing. I did not receive any onboarding, any explanation, any introduction. Only more and more calls and upcoming requirements. I started stressing me and I felt so stupid. A job that I couldn't tell a word about. But my holiday were soon I stopped caring at leat in the summer.

I am a fiancee!

The 10 days in Zakynthos, Greece, were my best holidays ever. Everything finally went perfect. PERFECT. The hotel, food, sea, beach, trips, views. It overcome my expectations. Best holiday ever! And the main point was that my partner gave me a ring, so I finally after almost 8 years changed my status from girlfriend to fiancee.

Come back to the old job.

After holiday I realised I need to run from my "dream new job". Quickly. Somewhow my previous company took me back. Of course not too easily - I went great during the interviews, but to punish me for leaving they lowered my salary in comparison to the other people in the team. And there is nothing I can do about it. And it is really fucking annoying. I am not progressing with my salary due to the high inflantion for the past 2-3 years.

After job change I started again to have panic attacks and issues with myself. Unfortunately my therapy had to end in July because the owner of the medical center decided to close it... But I learnt back then a lot. I just need to remember to follow the rules.

2023.

Some points about 2023.

I got engaged. It means that I am important in this big world.

I had a short adventure in another company that allowed me to pay off the car, go to therapy, buy a computer, and benefit fully from the holiday. I quitt because it was the best choice for my mental health and money wasn't worth it.

I realised I do not need social media to live. I feel better without the knowledge what everyone is doing! If it is something interesting, they will tell you.

I realised that life is not about building it the same as other people. You choose. You have your own, special priorities. You have your own plan.

Me is the most important (of course besides my fiance). I live only for myself, I do not have to fit in, drink alcohol or enjoy the same stuff. Big NO.

Health is the biggest value. Doing overtime, skipping lunch breaks, trying be always the best IS NOT WORTH YOUR HEALTH. Both, physical and mental!

Life is about living, so close this virtual blog for today. :)

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lindsaystravelblogs3 · 8 months

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Day 73 – Saturday, 5 August

The first official day of our cruise and we sailed to Limnos overnight to arrive early in the morning.

After breakfast, we had a short presentation about the first half of the cruise and the excursions available. The woman who did the talk rattled rapidly through what we had already seen in the tour publicity and I doubt anyone got much out of it other than a couple of deadlines by which we had to book tours or cancel existing bookings. We only booked for one more thing – a free sword-dance display in Korcula.

There was a lecture, the first of three related lectures, about the history of various dynasties and their related wars in the region. I found the lecturer very hard to follow, with his very heavy French accent, his occasional lapses into French phrases, and constant use of ancient place names rather than more familiar current names. (He had almost finished his lecture before I realised that his frequent use of ‘R-10’ was actually ‘Athens’.) His slides were all in French, and his many maps far too small and detailed to understand anythig at all – and of course, he used the dreaded red laser pointer. I spoke to him about that after the lecture, and he said he doesn’t like to use the laser and prefers to use his telescopic metal pointer. He said he would use that instead in future lectures – but didn’t.

After lunch, we were taken ashore by tender (one of the lifeboats) where we boarded a bus to take us to the Poliochni Archaeological site where seven separate civilisations have been uncovered, each one on the site of the previous one, from very ancient times. It took about an hour to reach the site and it was surprisingly hot standing in the sun after a couple of somewhat cooler days. Our guide told us that the first layer predates the ancient Egyptians, so we are talking something like five thousand years at least. I am not convinced of some of the information we were told, specifically related to the sophistication of the earliest inhabitants. They discovered a larger than usual ‘room’ (still pretty small) and on that basis deduced that the town was run by a council of prominent citizens who met in this room to make laws and otherwise run the city. How they could deduce all that by discovering an empty four-by-six metre room is beyond me, and I remain sceptical about many of the claims of our various guides. Nonetheless, it was quite an impressive site, spoiled somewhat by the repairs done to make some areas appear more ordered. For example, we saw modern mortar between the stones forming the walls in many places. I don’t think we have seen that elsewhere – in general, if the wall has fallen down, it is left in that condition, rather than rebuilding it to make it more like it probably was in antiquity. But maybe I am being picky and the site did look more like it probably was millennia ago. There is evidence of a water supply and sewer system so maybe they had a level of sophistication way beyond what I imagined after all.

After quite a comprehensive tour of the site, we reboarded the bus to go to a winery where we had a tour of the winery and a sit-down light meal of local snacks and a wine tasting. We sampled five different wines, none of which distinguished themselves to me or Heather. I thought they were pretty ordinary, but we did see some of the prices and they probably indicated that they were not considered to be premium wines anyway.

Then it was back on the bus and off to the dock where the tender was waiting to take us back to the ship. There were welcome cocktails and introductions to all the officers and key staff members on the stern deck, but we have endured that so many times on other trips that we hid out in the bar and enjoyed a private welcome cocktail instead.

Dinner was a Gala Night when everyone gets togged up in their finest, particularly the women, and we would do our best to avoid that (even if we had any ‘finest’ which we don’t), so we ate our dinner on the stern deck – and continued to avoid the posh dining room for most of the cruise.

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rendevousz · 3 years

Text

the favourite

avengers x fem!teen!reader

summary: you are the baby avenger and everyone is platonically whipped for you.

genre: fluff, crack

warnings: none, maybe just my inability to write good endings

word count: 3497

note: um second oneshot hope this one's good gaaah

"hey, doll. whatcha' reading?" you glanced up to see bucky, who then plopped down next to you on the couch in the common room. "it's called 'shadow and bone'. it's a novel that's turning into a netflix series in like a month," you smiled at the super soldier, lifting up your book a little to show him the cover. his eyebrows raised at the information, lips tugging into a knowing smirk.

"yes, bucky, i'll watch the series with you." you rolled your eyes playfully at him. ever since he officially became an avenger and moved into the tower with the rest of you, you've been helping him 'get with the times' —as sam likes to call it— just as you did steve a few years prior.

steve had told his best friend that you were the best at stuff like this. after all, you were the youngest avenger. and you had a lot of free time on your hands; having no school since you were pretty much the only one besides vision who could compete with tony's or bruce's intelligence.

so really, school wasn't mandatory for you according to tony. at least, after you had asked him if you could just not attend and he cracked ten seconds after you pulled the puppy dog eyes.

you also had significantly less trainings than the rest of the team. this one wasn't because you were an expert on the field or something —well, you were, but so were the rest of the team but they still had almost daily trainings while you had half the amount they did— this was because you had cap wrapped around your tiny little finger.

and as for the team, they couldn't even be mad about it because if they were in the captain's position, they would probably be the same. everyone just loved you too much.

"do you mind if i turned on the tv?" bucky asked, afraid that you wouldn't want background noise while you were reading but obviously you didn't mind so you shook your head as you continued to read. not long after, you closed your book with a bookmark between the pages you stopped at before shoving in into bucky's hands and running up into your room to quickly grab your blanket.

he watched you run out of the common room in confusion before chuckling when he saw you run back in looking tiny with a huge, fluffy blanket in your arms. you went back to your spot on the couch next to him, spreading the blanket over both your laps, bucky smiling fondly as he watched you fix it before turning to him. "comfy?" you asked and he nodded, giving you back your book as you cuddled up to him. he smiled down at you and wrapped an arm around you while you leaned against his chest.

"what's this? movie night without me?" you two looked up at the owner of the voice and saw sam walking in, making his way to the kitchen, probably to make himself some coffee. "what movie are you guys watching?" he asked, leaning against a pillar to look at the tv, trying to figure out what movie was playing.

"actually, only bucky's watching the movie—it's mean girls, by the way—and i'm just reading my book." you told sam without looking at him, lifting your book up high to show him before lowering it back down to continue reading it.

"barnes, what are you doing watching a movie while y/n is reading? she won't be able to focus with all that background noise, shut it off." sam told him off, now back in the kitchen to make his coffee. you shook your head at the man's antics. "sam, it's fine. i told him it was okay,"

"of course you did, you're too sweet to say no to anyone." he quipped back, now standing nearby, watching the tv too, seemingly interested in the movie playing. you only rolled your eyes playfully at him before going back to the book. after a few minutes of him just standing, bucky spoke up. "just sit down if you want to watch the whole movie, birdbrain."

and sit he did. on your other side, snuggling comfortably under your blanket after putting his now empty mug on the coffee table. this caused bucky to huff as he pulled the other end of the blanket which led to them having a tug-of-war over the blanket, you unfortunately stuck in the middle of it. deciding that it was too distracting to read while squished between two grown men who were also fighting for the blanket, you finally closed your book.

"sam, can you help me put this on the coffee table?" you handed sam your book and he immediately took it, stretching his body forward to place it on the coffee table. with the book out of the way, you could finally settle comfortably and the blanket was now shared between the three of you equally. not long after, your head was back against bucky's chest with his arm around you while your legs were over sam's lap under the blanket, one of his arms resting over it above the blanket. if it had been someone else doing that to sam, they probably would've had their legs chopped off already.

"movie night and you didn't invite me?" you chuckled at the question by the newcomer, tony, finding it funny how sam said almost the exact same prior to him. "you're welcome to join us, tony." you offered kindly, to which he replied with a small chuckle.

"i'm just kidding, cupcake. i came up for a drink and a little snack but that's it, i have stuff to finish down in the lab." you nodded understandingly, turning back to the screen in front of you.

"hey, stark, while you're there can you grab me a bottled water from the fridge?" bucky asked him. "oh yeah can you grab me chips from the snacks cabinet too?" sam added.

"you guys have legs for a reason, get them yourselves, i'm not your maid," tony sassed and you bit back a chuckle. bucky and sam then decided to rock-paper-scissors the situation to decide who had to get up and get the water and chips. bucky ended up losing and he begrudgingly got up and came back quickly with his water and sam's chips.

shortly afterwards, tony approached the three of you on the couch, with a juice box and a small bag of pretzels; your go-to movie snack. "here you go, cupcake." he handed them to you and you accepted them happily, beaming at him while he ruffled your hair.

bucky and sam shared a look of disbelief at tony's actions. "what gives, man? we asked for stuff and you didn't want to do it but y/n gets her stuff without even having to ask for it?" sam complained.

"that's because y/n's my baby. now shut up and let her watch the movie in peace." he scolds before leaving the common room, leaving the two men to huff in annoyance. it soon washed off though when you laughed out loud at a scene and they returned back to normal, loving the sound of your contagious laughter.

when the movie ended, it was already late and you had fallen asleep on an also asleep bucky. sam took a look at you and chuckled. he slowly removed the blanket from over himself and you, gently scooping you up into his arms and taking you back into your room, laying you down on your bed. he noticed the lack of blanket on your bed and remembered the blanket you brought down to the common room. he opened your closet for a spare blanket, retrieving it before covering you with it, tucking you in. "night, kiddo." he whispered, kissing your forehead before leaving the room.

next morning came and you groggily stretched, noticing that you were in your room. last you remembered was falling asleep mid movie. you deduced that it was most likely either bucky or sam who carried you back to bed. you went to your closet to grab work out clothes since you had training today, before realising what day today was. wanda's breakfast day. you quickly ran to the bathroom and got ready.

once you were done, you dried your hair and left your room, practically bouncing with excitement when you thought of what wanda probably made for breakfast. the week had been a bad breakfast week since everyone who had so far been tasked breakfast duty, sucked at cooking. the only good cook of the team was wanda, explaining your overexcitement.

before you could get far though, you slammed into a solid body, being caught by your wrists before you could fall. "be careful, lady y/n!" a deep voice spoke and you look up, a large smile on your face before you jumped happily, taking the man into a big hug. "thor! you're back!"

he laughed, returning the hug, you almost disappearing due to his big frame before you let go of each other. "where were you headed to so eagerly?"

"it's wanda's breakfast day, thor! i haven't had a decent breakfast all week because no one in this tower except wanda can cook to save their lives. come on, big guy!" you cheered, trying to get onto his back for him to give you a piggy back to the kitchen but he was too high for you to reach. he watched your attempt in amusement before bending down so you could get on his back. you gratefully got on, lightly patting his back and dramatically pointing ahead of you. "to the kitchen we go!"

when you two arrived in the kitchen, clint and wanda were talking as the latter made breakfast. thor's booming laughter echoed through the room as he zoomed with you on his back, laughing your heart out. "we have arrived to our destination, my lady." clint and wanda turned to you, adoring smiles on their faces when they heard you giggling uncontrollably.

"i thought you had more important things to do that you couldn't even walk 10 feet to grab me a spoon." clint raised his eyebrows at the demigod. "yes but y/n needed a ride so i provided her one." thor gave your hair a ruffle before he left the room, going to do what he initially left the kitchen for before you managed to get him to bring you back there.

"morning, kiddo." clint ruffled your hair right after you just fixed it, causing you to glare at him before fixing it again. "morning," you grumbled, sitting down next to him.

"morning, y/n!" wanda greeted, placing your plate of perfectly made blueberry pancakes with extra blueberries neatly placed on top, butter in the middle of it with maple syrup dripping down. your mouth watered. had it really been that long since you had a good breakfast or was it just because it was wanda's creation? or was it both? "here ya go, bubs. your favourite," she grinned at you, placing your glass of orange juice beside the plate.

"thanks, wands! i love you!" you thanked her, already beginning to dig into your breakfast.

"what the heck? you gave me burnt pancakes and didn't let me have extra blueberries because you said there already were some in the pancakes," clint whined to wanda from beside you, watching you eat happily.

"that's because the extra blueberries were for y/n, she loves them. and about the burnt pancakes...yea i just didn't want to give her burnt ones. look how happy she looks," the two turned to you, looking at your cheeks being filled up, making you look like an adorable squirrel.

"okay, fair point." clint slumped down on his chair, continuing to look at you fondly, like a proud father.

after breakfast, you made your way down to the training room where steve, nat and peter were training. when you entered, peter immediately noticed, waving and you from the treadmill with a huge smile on his face. nat, having just flipped steve over her her shoulders, smiled at you. "hey, bub." you smiled back at her and steve who struggled to give you a wave but did it anyways from his position.

"alright, y/n, you can warm up and run 2 miles first before we start." steve says once he had gotten up from his position on the ground. you mocked a salute before walking to the treadmills.

"what?! how is that fair? i'm running 5 miles!" peter exclaimed from beside you just as you started your run. "you're enhanced, peter. if anything, it's unfair for y/n/n. actually, that's right, it is unfair for her. y/n/n, you can go ahead and just do a mile."

peter's jaw dropped at this, his mouth opening and closing like fish out of water. "b–but.."

"get back to work, peter. once you're done, we'll start both your and y/n's training." the boy only huffed in annoyance, focusing back on his run while you smirked, internally cheering in victory.

"boy, that was tiring!" you dramatically plopped back onto the mat, limbs spread out as you tried to catch your breath. it had been a gruesome 3 hours of training and you were beat.

"y/n/n, get up. sam, bucky and clint's gotta train soon," nat tells you after steve and peter left and you were still sprawled out on the ground. "but i'm tired!" you whined childishly.

"y/n, if you don't get up, i'm gonna leave you here to be trampled on by the boys when they train." nat nagged, hands on her hips as she made a disapproving face at you.

"no you're not. you're gonna carry me to my room so i can shower and sleep soon." you tell her, eyes already closed as the fatigue washed over you. after a few seconds of silence, you heard her sigh out loud before you felt her crouching down beside you.

"get on my back in five seconds or i'll leave you." she threatened. you quickly opened your eyes, grabbing your small towel and water bottle before getting on nat's back. she mumbled something about you being lucky that she loves you or else she really was going to let sam, bucky and clint trample on you.

"what's wrong with her?" you could hear steve's concerned voice asking nat when you two reached—you assumed— the lobby. you were too tired to keep your eyes open so you left them closed while your arms were around nat's neck.

"nothing," you heard nat reply as she walked you both into the elevator. "kid's just too lazy to get up and walk on her own so she made me carry her." you internally rolled your eyes. she made it seem like she was forced to do it when everyone clearly knew she would do anything when it came to you.

you heard steve chuckle before nat started walking again, probably towards your room. you heard the door open and nat finally let you down, prompting you to open your eyes.

"do you want some food after you shower?" she questioned as you looked through your closet for comfy clothes to change to before ultimately deciding on cow print pyjama pants and an oversized tee you stole from steve.

"i'm good, nat, thanks. i just wanna take a nap." as if on cue, you yawned right after. "okay, bub. you'll have to get up later for dinner and movie night though, okay?" she reminded and left the room after you replied an 'okay' back.

when you were woken up a few hours later, it was by an annoying scream and a body bouncing on your bed. "y/n/n, wake up! it's dinner! mr stark ordered your favourite!"

you groaned, putting your pillow over your head to block out peter's annoying voice. "come on, y/n/n wake up! you haven't eaten since breakfast and it's movie night tonight!"

"okay, okay, i'm up. you can shut up now, pete." you grumbled crankily. it was quiet for a few seconds before peter yelled out once again. "wake u–"

he never got to finish though because you kicked him off the bed. "i said i'm up, dude." you then sat up, stretching before getting up to wash up, ignoring peter who was on the floor rubbing the side of his head which hit your lamp when he fell off your bed. he then got up, deciding to tidy your bed up a bit while he waited for you to finish washing up so that you two could go down together.

"is that my shirt?" was the first thing you heard when you walked in with peter. the team were all sitting, eating your food from your favourite place. "i uh, maybe?" you answered sheepishly, sitting down next to sam and peter settling down on your other side. "i've been looking for that shirt since forever."

"aw, let her have it, steve! she looks better in it than you do, she looks so adorable!" wanda screeched, absolutely adoring how tiny you looked in cap's enormous shirt. she continued to gush over you, even taking out her phone at one point to snap a picture of you. you chuckled at her antics, proceeding to eat your dinner while the team talked.

after dinner, everyone slowly made their way to the common room for team movie night. you guys collectively agreed to watch 'white chicks' after steve revealed that he hadn't watched it.

you sat down next to bruce, who gave you a tired smile when you smiled at him. he must've been working in the lab all day, you thought. halfway through the movie though, a bathroom break was called by tony. a few took the chance to get up and get snacks while you told bruce you were gonna sit closer to the tv since you couldn't hear properly with sam and bucky squabbling over every little thing they could. you could even hear them arguing in the kitchen at the moment over hot chocolate.

when tony came back, you told the two bickering children in the kitchen that you were starting the movie again. not long after you started, you could hear them still bickering, except now they were closer, probably back in their seats. poor bruce, you thought. you escaped the two but he was still stuck next to them.

meanwhile in the back, sam and bucky were still busy fighting over the hot chocolate. you paid them no mind as you focused on the movie, having not watched it in a hot minute.

"dude, i made this for myself! go make your own hot chocolate!" bucky whisper-yelled, moving his mug away from sam's reach when the latter tried to reach for it. "you took my snack now i'm gonna take your drink so it's fair!" sam countered.

before the two of them could stop it, the steaming hot chocolate spilt. not on the carpet, but onto the doctor whose patience had already been running thin with the two quarrelling next to him for the past hour.

his face slowly turned green, clearly a sign that he was fighting so that the other guy didn't come out. the team stared in horror, preparing for a fight to break out with the big green monster.

you, being the closest to the tv, didn't notice this all happening as you happily watched the movie that you couldn't hear properly for the past hour.

you laughed joyously when your favourite scene came on, trying to control your giggles that were starting to get louder and louder. bruce was currently hunched down, trying to even his breathing. but when he heard your laughter, he immediately looked up at you.

the team panicked, thinking that you could be a target for hulk since you just attracted attention to yourself. they were about to get up to protect you as they looked at bruce apprehensively, when the doctor smiled, the green on his neck slowly, but surely disappearing.

the team looked at each other in confusion and bruce smiled weakly at them. "sorry about that. i'm...i'm gonna move up and sit with y/n." he got up and made his way to you. you smiled when you saw him. "got tired of them too?" you joked and he nodded, making himself comfortable next to you.

you nodded and turned your attention back to the tv. it was clear you were oblivious to whatever just happened and the team couldn't help but chuckle at the situation. you really just unknowingly calmed down the hulk.

the team didn't know if you were aware of how much power you actually held over them. nevertheless, you were their little baby and they were willing to do anything for you.

#avengers #avengers x reader #avengers x teen!reader #tony stark x teen!reader #steve rogers x teen!reader #bucky barnes x teen!reader #sam wilson x teen!reader #natasha romanoff x teen!reader #wanda maximoff x teen!reader #clint barton x teen!reader #bruce banner x teen!reader #marvel x teen!reader #peter parker x reader #thor odinson x teen!reader

7K notes · View notes

fandomout · 3 years

Note

Heyyy hope you’re well, I loved you fic. Your so talented. I just wanted to ask if you would do a part 2 of lip x reader where he realises reader was always there for him and he ruined everything with her and tries to go back to her. It can end however 💕

Lip Gallagher X Reader-Imagine trying to convince Lip that Helene, his professor, isn't the best thing for him, but he can't see the truth

@bxnnywatts , @izraahh1 , and anon thanks for suggesting a part 2. I had a lot of fun writing this, and it inspired me with some great ideas!

Also, to the anon that wanted a Lip seeing reader 10 years later. I'm working on it 😊

Lip realizes his mistake

After you left Lip to fend for himself on the ground, he could only stay on the ground and reflect. He felt slightly numb as more of the alcohol from earlier kicked in. He was feeling terrible as it is, but after what happened between you two, his stomach panged. Although he was feeling pretty helpless, it was starting to get dark out, so he sat up and took out his phone. He attempted to call you, but you hung up quickly. He sighed and rose to his feet. He called and called as he made his way through the street not really searching for any particular place, but he let his feet carry him.

Lip found his way to Kev and V’s. Both of them give an alarmed look at Lip’s state. Lip lays money on the table and says, “Keep‘em coming.” V gives Kev a stern look and motion him over to Lip. Kev nods and walks over. He serves him a pint and asks, “Everything alright, bud?” Lip down ths pint in reply. “Alright then, but you seem like you started your party earlier today .“

"Well, the party’s not over, I guess.” He taps at his glass for another one, which Kev provides. V rolls her eyes at Kev and makes her way over.

“Is there something you want to talk about, Lip?”

“V, you don’t just ask a guy-”

“I am a terrible human being. I mean no wonder Helene doesn't want to be with me, but now...now, I’ve ruined it with them too…” He lays his head sideways on the bar with a frown and closed eyes. V looks over to Kev with satisfaction on her face while Kev waved her off. Lip grabs onto the pint and starts chugging it. V grabs onto him, stopping him at a little less than half and urges, “Okay. Okay! You’ve had enough.”

“Not fair. I’m not done.”

“This is all you're getting for a while.” Lip shrugs feeling the bizz hit him quickly as he was already tipsy from the drinks he’d had earlier that day.

“Why did I have to go and say that stuff?”

“What stuff?”

“Like like-I have to take a piss.”

“Huh?” He stands up and repeats, “I have to take a piss. You-" He points accusingly to his pint glass. V caught off guard by the action. Lip goes forward and stumbles before he points once more to his glass to say, "Stay." As Lip goes into the bathroom, V can only state, “I’m worried about that child.”

Lip is quick to do his business and is on his way out until he finds himself in the mirror. He had to agree that he didn’t look like himself. He ran his hand over his face before he washed his face in aggravation. He looks to himself, but all he can see is you yelling, “You’re the worst! You don’t deserve anyone, so you certainly don’t deserve me! I’ve been there for you always! Always! How could you throw me away like nothing?! I should’ve thrown you away a long time ago! You're projecting, you're pathetic!” He sucks in a breath and whispers, “You hate me…” He looks up in hopes to see you again; however, he is only met with his own reflection and wanting nothing more than to see you again. Reality setting in that he may get the reality of not seeing you in front of him again.

With that fear, he rushes forward out of the bathroom knocking into someone’s shoulder, which causes him to fall over head first onto the ground. Everyone becomes alarmed, but Kev and V rush over. Quietly, Lip says, “I hate me too."

"Wha?" Kev asks.

"They didn't say they hated me when we talked but they should have because I mean what kind of person let alone a best friend would-Can’t lose them. I have to go to the-” V interrupts him to ask, “Hun, are you okay?”

“I can’t let them go...especially not like this.” Lip tries to get up, but Kev restraints him with the soothing words of, “Yeah, yeah, you can do that later. Right now, you’re not going anywhere.”

“I have to-Y/N-” Lip can’t resist Kev's restraint anymore than he can act like nothing happened.

Kev and V walk into the Gallagher’s house much to Fiona’s discontent. As Kev leaves Lip to sleep it off, V fills in Fiona as best she can about what happened at the bar. Fiona thanked them before going to check on Lip. He didn’t seem like he’d wake up anytime soon. She grabbed his phone for some kind of clue and saw all of the calls he’d made to you. She narrowed her eyes to the cell in her hand unsure of what could happen between you two and wastes no time in dialing you on her cell. You didn’t dare to answer her and turned your phone off. Since you weren't on good terms with Lip, you couldn’t risk another Gallagher's persuasion, so you did your best to sleep that late night.

In the morning, Lip was woken up by Ian stomping into the shared room and dropping a huge box carelessly into his lap.

“Uhmm, ow!” Lip groaned.

“Yeah. Boo hoo you and your bo bo.” Lip starts looking into the box. At first, he was unsure of the items in front of him, but he made out movie tickets, restaurant receipts, a few notes. It wasn’t until he saw a few polaroid's and photo booth pictures of him and you that he understood what the box was.

“Wha-Where did you get all this?” Ian lays a hand on his hip in reply. Lip rolls his eyes at his brother and asks, “Are you trying to tell me you have an obsession with me and Y/N?” Ian grabs the pillow on the bed and slaps Lip with it. “Why are you hitting me so much today?”

“Lip, you are an idiot!”

“What for?!”

“Jesus, this box belongs to Y/N. They kept everything between you two, like ever.” Lip looks down and remembers the last words you two exchanged.

“You go around pining for me in hope someday you’ll be the one. You’re pathetic! You can’t be the one because Colleen was! She is! You’re single because no one wants you! You try to act so high and mighty! If you're so great and talented, leave! You’re useless around here! You fucking suffocating me with your supposed love and care! Thanks so much for it! You-”

”Stop!..I get it. You don’t want me around. Get some help from a sponsor and go to the AA meetings.” Tears began to pour, and you sniffled. “You wouldn’t want to lose and hurt someone you actually care about.”

He looks to Ian and asks, “Why do you have this?” Possible answers running through his head but none of them sounding like the truth to at least not truths he wants realized.

“I found it...in the alley.” Lip sighs deeply. His heart felt like it was being wringed out. In all the years you’ve known him you always had a certain gentle touch to him. Always trying to keep from adding to his sufferings. I was something special he found in you unlike everyone else he’s ever met.

He’s taken from his thoughts by Ian asking, “What even happened between you two? They wouldn't let me in their house much less tell me what happened. I got so desperate that I was gonna try the back door when I saw the box.. Fiona mentioned that something happened between you two bu-”

”Fiona? What does she know?”

“Lip, catch up, no one knows what went down. We’d all like to know though…”

“We-uh-” Lip wipes at his drippy eyes. “We had a dispute.” He said simply and rose to his feat trying to get changed for the day. He kept his back in Ian’s view as he tried to internalize and bottle up the peering emotions.

“I figured. Are you gonna tell me about what-” Lip turned around swiftly and roared, “No!” Ian got up close to Lip and hollered, “Don’t go yelling at me! Fix your shit between the two of you!...They are my best friend too, and I know they’re hurting right now…” Lip sofens and flumps onto the bed. He ran his hands through his hair and shook his head.

“Ian, I know I hurt them. I always seem to...When they are nothing but there for me, god I really messed up. I wish-”

“Yeah. Yeah. Good stuff.” Ian picks Lip up from the bed. “While it’s fresh, don’t tell me, tell them.” Lip nods vigorously. He hurriedly gets on his shoes and makes his way out the door with the box of mementos in hand.

You’d gotten up that morning feeling just all sorts of terrible. You’d hardly gotten any sleep. Your eyes are all puffy and slightly sore from rubbing at them. You hadn’t eaten in hours, maybe in a day by now. You were awakened by Ian at your door, but you shied him away quickly. Thinking you could move on with you day was too optimistic as you heard a gentle knock on your door followed by the words, “Delivery!” The words coming out abnormally squeaky, so you knew something was up. You look through the peephole cautiously and see Lip. You try to figure out if you should say anything: tell him to leave, tell him you need time, tell him he really hurt you, play along with his charade; however, you're not allowed a choice when your phone goes off, your hands flounder for it in order to get it off. The caller being none other than Lip. You curse under your breath. Lip’s voice calls out on the other side of the door. “I know your home. Please let me talk to you…” Your tears falling out all over again.

“I-” Your voice running dry. You clear your throat and strongly say, “Go the fuck away! I don’t need this right now!”

“But, Y/N-”

“No! Fucking go! You cared at all about me, you’ll leave me the fuck alone!” He stumbled back drunk in shock of the words. Lip wanted to bust down the door to just hug you, or go off and drink until he passed out again. He just wanted anything other than this reality.

“I do care! I’m sorry If I hadn’t made that known...I should’ve.

You ask, “Are you drunk again?!” He sighs thinking of all the times he’d had to ask others that question that impulsively he answered, “No!” He cursed himself for it and replied once more softer, “No, I’m not.”

“Lip, that’s great in all, but you need help.” Lip’s lip trembles. He attempts to halt the rumble with his teeth, which was futile. You could hear it in his voice for his next words, “I know...You made it very clear to me that I needed help when you disappeared...Yes, it was only for about a day, but I need you to understand something.”

“There’s nothing else to say. I understand.” Lip narrows his eyes and asks, “You do?” You nod although he can’t see you and explain, “We’ve been friends for a long...long time…” Lip smiles hopeful of the response to come; however, it is short lived as you follow up with, “and it’s time to branch out. I mean you have college, different needs, different friends, so...ummm...if you came out of guilt, I’ll just leave you with no-” You clench at your heart as it clenches. It physically was starting to hurt you, but you managed the last few words, “no hard feelings.” Lip pounded at the door once, which made you flinch back.

“No hard feelings? No, no, Y/N?...Y/N that’s not how I feel at all. What I said to you, it was wrong for one thing but also far from the truth. I told you some of the biggest lies when we spoke-Look, I’m horrible. I admit it, and I wouldn’t blame you if you thought so too. I just can’t have you thinking any of this is on you. I can’t have that no matter how this turns out between us...Making you feel like this isn't even my only crime against you-” You heard him shudder on the other end of the door. You walked forward gently but stopped short. You find yourself and open the door. Your face is only reading sullen. Lip’s about to move forward, but the pain he reads in you stops him. Tears pour from your eyes, and you continue to say, “What did you expect?! You choose some woman that’s hurt you so many times it seems over your supposed best friend! I have been there for you! I do not deserve this treatment! I deserve better! You don’t get that, and I don’t think you ever will…I could chalk it up to your drama and being too damaged, but honestly, Lip it's your own damn fault...Years together, and you can’t see what you have right in front of you. Goodbye. Hope things work out for you...” You see how he hangs his head low and begins to sob. You hadn't decided exactly what you’d do with Lip. Glassy oceans meet your gaze. He reaches out and pulls you into a hug that you're not prepared for. His body started to shake against you. He mutters, “I’m sorry for hurting you,” over and over, at least that's what it sounded like at points. When his voice wasn’t cracking, he sounded like wind was knocked out from crying so hard. You wanted to hold him too and feel comfort. History told you that making this too easy on him was what you got you here in the first place. Reluctantly, with effort, you remove yourself from him. The pain in his eyes glossed in at the action.

“Hate you?!” You scoff. “I don’t-”

"You don't understand..." You sob out because this was all just so hard on you, which in turn was making it hard on him. He moves slowly forward and cradles your head gently and ends up resting his thumb on your cheek to wipe tears away.

"I know I don't understand what you feel, but I know what I was doing wrong now. I know how I've been hurting you." He breathed out trying his best to calm himself down. He bites at his lip. “My biggest crimes-” He clears her throat. “Taking you for granted. You know, I don’t always thank you for the things you do, especially not lately. I-I haven’t been on your side even when you’ve always been on mine.” He smiles softly. “It’s something I should of really seen before, but like you said, I’m people stupid. I just really want you to know that your not only the best friend I could ask for but the best person...I want you to know that even if you hate me now-”

“No, please just say it. I don’t want you to hold back.”

“Lip, I have hated how you’ve been lately, but hating you, now that’s too easy, so I don’t...”

“Really?” He whimpered.

“Really. I mean I was just at threshold, but I can’t hate you...I did really hate what you said to be though...I mean years of friendship-”

“I-I know. I said it because I was hurting. That wasn’t right.”

“I know you hurt, but I’ve only ever wanted to hurt together rather than leave you alone. That being said, I’m not sure where I want us to go from here…”

“Whatever you wa-”

“I’d really like you to sell to me why we should still have any kind of relationship. There are a lot of things you did, and I feel you care just-”

“I wish is acknowledges some things you do that I notice that I don’t flat out say that mean so much: making sure I eat in the sneaky ways you do like boasting it's so good or making “extra”, making sure I’m not cold-just you know caring for me in little ways..,” Your heart quickened at his confession. You didn’t think he’d noticed or cared. “I didn’t value our relationship like I should have. I will if you let me. One of the biggest things is I should've let you know how much I-I should've let you know how much I...I love you.” You swallowed at the words. While you knew he did care, you knew love was touchy for him, and he’d never said it to you. “I love you, Y/N.” You hugged onto him uttering against his shoulder, “That’ll do it.” You both laughed out loud. Lip held you tightly like you’d slip away, and he let out groans of relief. “Are you okay now?”

“Yeah, so relieved.”

“Me too.” You both stare at each other with smiles on your faces. He wipes at the dried and wet tears and states, “I’m really sorry that I made you cry.”

“Let’s call it even.” You wipe his face with your sleeve with a smile.

“There’s a smile.”

“Well, you caused it, and uhhh...Look, all the self loathing, you gotta work on that...and the drinking I’ll be here to help with that too bec-'' He gave you an expression of doe eyes before he leaned forward meeting his lips to your in which you returned. “Is that part of showing me you care?”

“Yeah. Something like that, but it’s a gesture to show I do love you. I should’ve done this sooner.”

“What about your pro-”

“No one compares to you. I now see that. So, permission to kiss you again.”

“Maybe after some food. I’m starving.”

“Fair enough. Where do I put this box?”

“Where did you get that?”

“Ian.”

“Ian?”

“I can’t believe you kept all this. Also, I’m embarrassed I didn’t make one myself.”

“You don’t think it’s kiddish?”

“No. It’s sweet.” He kisses your forehead.

“Wow, you're really sweet too. People's skills are already better.”

“I don’t know if I’m really less people stupid, but I know I’m less clueless about you. I’d like to become a Y/N expert.”

Hope your day got better

@lipgallagherstan

961 notes · View notes

thesolferino · 3 years

Text

Favor

⤷ dream x f!reader.

⤷ genre: angst, fluff

⤷ word count: 8.4k

⤷ requested: yes, by this lovely anon!

— summary: dream asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for a day. things only seem to go downhill from there.

It started as a favor.

On a quiet night in your apartment when you stared at your phone for way longer than your eyes could physically take and rolled around on the bed, talking to one of your best internet friends, Dream, he asked you for a favor. His voice was muffled through the mic on his phone, the one connected to his computer way cleaner, but neither of you could bother getting off FaceTime and call on Discord instead - yet you still heard him loud and clear, because you burst out laughing right after.

“What the hell did you just say?” you laughed, turning on your stomach and opening the call, now entirely focused on the timer that counted every second you spent talking to him instead of your Twitter timeline.

“It’s embarrassing, don’t make me repeat it!” And for that sole reason, you wanted him to repeat it, loud and clear.

“Is this why you were so insistent on me coming down to Florida? So I could pretend to be your girlfriend at your cousin’s wedding so your family doesn’t think you’re a loser?” you laughed, finding the situation entirely absurd as he sputtered, words mashing together, trying to defend himself.

“No! No, I wanted you to come here because we’re friends and I-I wanna meet you, this is just a… benefit, of sorts.” he replied, and you couldn’t help but laugh even harder at his poor attempt of trying to save face.

“Alright, I’ll bite.” you chuckle. “What’s in it for me?”

“Whatever you want.” he responded, much too quick. Your eyebrows raised.

“Whatever I want?” you parroted.

“Yes.” he confirmed. “I’ll buy you something, if you want; I’ll even pay you-”

“Pay me?! I’m not a whore, Dream!”

“That is not AT ALL what I was saying!” he cut in, yelling as you burst into a new fit of laughter. “It’s just… I sort of already told them I have a girlfriend and I was just hoping you’d say yes ‘cause it’s gonna be very awkward if I show up without the girlfriend in question.”

You put your head in your hands and he sort of dryly laughed at himself when he heard your palm hit your forehead. “What is wrong with you, man?”

“Listen, it’s not gonna be so bad! Just stay by my side for a bit, look pretty, we’ll get some drinks, and then dip. That’s it, I promise.” he reasoned.

“And here I thought we were gonna make out in front of everyone. What’s a fake relationship if we don’t make a show out of it?” you sarcastically snickered, and could practically see his eyeroll from miles away.

“If that’s what you want, then we’ll do it, by all means.” he replied and you laughed, shaking your head in mild disbelief.

“Alright, well, if you already told them, I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” you huffed, pretending to be way more bummed out about it than you really were. “I’ll do it.”

“Thank you so much, oh my God.” he replied and you chuckled at the sheer relief in his voice.

A few seconds of silence pass. “What’s the catch?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“How do you want me to publicly embarrass myself in exchange for this favor?”

“Personally, I think that forcing you to tweet that tweet about pissing yourself in bed again and also tweeting that everyone should subscribe to me isn’t “publicly embarrassing” at all.”

“Maybe I should’ve picked a different fake girlfriend.”

“Sucks to suck, pissbaby.”

The weeks leading up to your meetup felt like years, with every treacherous minute of you two talking over muffled mics and shitty webcams feeling longer than it should, your empty apartment feeling emptier and emptier by the day. Was it even possible to miss a person you hadn’t even met yet?

It turns out that it very much was, because as soon as the painfully long weeks were up and you were finally metres away from him, you jumped in his arms like a woman finally seeing her soldier husband after the war, standing on your tiptoes while he bent down the best he could to hug you back. His chest rumbled with a warm laugh when you turned your head ever so slightly towards his ear.

“Hello, boyfriend.” And just like that, the warm turned into a groan of faux annoyance while you burst into laughter and he pulled away, scanning your face with an equally annoyed look.

“I should’ve never asked you for that. You’re never letting it go, are you?” Yeah, you were kind of annoying with the amount of corny boyfriend jokes you threw his way - you had to give him that. But then again, he crafted his own fate and now he must accept the consequences.

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realise your majesty wasn’t appreciating the work I’m doing! I just won’t show up at that wedding, how about that?” you bit back, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“You’re such an idiot.” he laughed. “Give me those bags.”

A blissful week had passed, and he hadn’t pissed you off in real life nearly as much as you thought he would. It took a bit of getting used to to his family calling him Clay instead of his beloved internet username, and you did get a couple of suggestive looks from his mother the first few times she visited - you had a couple of “eye conversations” in which she never exactly asked if you were his girlfriend, and you never exactly denied it, but you knew both of you felt the weight of the unspoken words yet you had to keep everything secret and ambiguous. Or at least you thought you did, before he revealed to you that he told his mom the two of you were dating already. Seems like the glances were knowing and not questioning. Maybe you weren’t as good at eye conversation as previously thought.

Living with him was fine, mostly because he had godly air conditioning and a house that was probably way too big for him, and also a very cute cat that followed you everywhere and made living with a man for a full two weeks way more bearable. Finding out that he can’t cook was one of the most bizarre revelations about him that you’d had in the years of your friendship, and you demanded he watched as you made chicken wraps. You complained about how he was 21 and couldn’t cook for himself, he complained about how it’s 2021 and he can just order from Chipotle or something, dude.

A week of goofing around and trying to hide the fact the two of you temporarily lived together from the internet had passed quicker than it should’ve, and for the first time in seven days, Netflix was turned off and the two of you were dressing up for the wedding, ready to set off with his parents and younger sister. He spent ages trying to convince you to match with him, which was quite literally impossible because he wore a black suit and you brought a red dress, which resulted in the two of you roaming around a local mall at 10 am, half asleep, looking for a reasonably formal black dress, because of course Dream always got his way.

An hour of arguing and your fashion tastes clashing later, you picked an off shoulder black dress with a high slit, along with a pair of pumps, both of which you forced him to pay for, and went back home, ready to glam both of you up as much as humanly possible because you were not ready to let him show up in some horrendous pair of shoes and claim to be your boyfriend.

“Is this okay?” you questioned, turning from the mirror to face him and let him be the judge of your shimmery black and white eyelids, spending way too much time on a makeup look for a wedding of someone whose name you didn’t even know. He blinked at you as his judging gaze washed over you like a wave, scanning you up and down while you nervously cocked your head, leg tapping in faux impatient annoyance to cover up the fact that you felt like prey under his eyes.

“It’s… yeah, it is. You look good.” Dream confirmed, nodding his head at you in a movement that was way too quick and snappy and you turn back to the mirror with a huff, watching him stare right back at you.

“Too much, right? I should try something else.” You say, grabbing your makeup remover wipes, but he cuts in before you can even wipe a single smudge.

“No, no, it looks good, I promise. Really good. Don’t touch it.” Something way too sincere in his voice makes the air tense, more tense than usual, but you drop it, deciding to just take the compliment with a tight lipped smile.

“Okay. You ready?” you ask, and he nods, nervously straightening out his suit before looking back at you with an anxious grin.

“Yeah, I think so. Do I look fine?”

He did. He looked more than fine. You’d never seen him actually dress up for something and put proper care into his looks - he was practically forced into doing it by you this time as well - so seeing him in an actual black suit, all formal and expensive looking, messy dirty blond hair properly combed for the first time in ages, made you gulp and look away. You sort of never understood the argument that women and men can’t be friends because you were never attracted to one of your male friends, ever. Dream was born to be an exception to every rule, it seemed.

Realising that you abruptly looked away, you attempted to awkwardly clear your throat and smile at him.

“Yeah, you do. Let’s go.”

During the ride there, his mother seemed to finally explode and the words that have clearly wanted to pour out of her mouth for ages finally came out. You supposed it was better for the poor woman, and did your best to suppress a laugh when Dream dramatically sighed and leaned against the window when she nosily spoke up.

“So… since when have you and Clay been together? He’s told us absolutely nothing!” She spoke up from the passenger seat, shifting to look at you, excited smile plastered on her face and you politely smiled back, mentally noting that you’d have to bully the shit out of him for acting like his mom is embarrassing him in front of his 8th grade crush.

“Ah, we’ve been friends for a long while, but we only started dating a month or so ago, because it’s hard doing long distance and all that.” you said, hoping it would sound believable enough because the two of you rehearsed this a few days ago, writing out a whole backstory from how you started dating to what exact words he used when he asked you out. There were a couple of arguments here and there, such as the fact you refused to say you confessed you’ve been in love with him for years and he refused to say he admitted he’s been your “bottom bitch” for 3 years but in the end, you somehow managed to agree on a cohesive timeline of events.

“Oh, does that mean you’re going to move here?” she questioned, and that one didn’t surprise you either, Dream having prepared a full list of answers to questions that people might ask in your notes app. He was a perfectionist to the point it got on your nerves, but that had its own perks.

“No, but I’ll definitely visit more often, and if it goes well, I might as well move here.” you smiled back at her and she nodded, going back to staring through the windshield. You and Dream exchange a relieved glance that you hope his younger sister doesn’t notice.

“Let me tell you, I was waiting for you two to get together! He always talked about you, I was getting tired of him, you know that?” she giggled and you widened your eyes at Dream who, snapping out of somewhat of a daze, immediately jumped to protest, light blush adorning his pale cheeks.

“No, I didn’t! I did not, mom, don’t lie to her.” he argued while all she did was laugh.

“Oh come on, it’s not embarrassing now that you’re together!” she kept going, and his younger sister joined in, to make it even worse.

“Yeah, you do talk about her a lot, not gonna lie.” she spoke up and his cold glare directed her way told you everything you needed to know, hanging on by a thread not to burst out laughing. He refused to even look your way, turning back to the window as his cheeks started heating up. You couldn’t help but let out at least a bit of a giggle, placing your hand on his arm in fake comfort.

“It’s okay, you can admit it now.” your tone borderlined on mocking and he knew you’d make fun of him for days to come so he stayed silent while the rest of the car burst into laughter.

The wedding was truly beautifully set up, set in a hotel wedding venue, walls painted in pure innocent white with hints of gold here and there, and you nudged Dream as the two of you observed in awe, asking what sort of money the groom had to be able to afford this sort of expensive venue. Nudging him proved to be way easier now, because you linked arms - you originally made fun of him for suggesting to walk like that instead of holding hands like normal people, telling him you’d look like you were at your high school prom, but he persisted, and you didn’t end up looking as goofy as you thought.

“He’s a doctor or something, pretty sure.” he replied, quick feet trudging down the long hallways, your own struggling to keep up with him, especially in your heels. He seemed to be in a rush to sit and get it over with as soon as possible so he could avoid any nosy family members, but bad luck followed him everywhere, it seems, because as soon as you two entered the place where the bride and groom would unite, at least three different pairs of eyes locked on you, and you immediately saw a fairly elderly woman get up with open arms, staring at Dream with a grin on her face. You saw him immediately tense up, and almost laughed right then and there.

“There’s my boy! Oh, you’ve grown so much, come here!” The woman looked to be in her fifties and Dream let go of your arm to nervously laugh and fall into her hug, the two rocking from side to side as she kept going on about how it seemed that he grew taller and taller every time she saw him.

When the two pulled away, her eyes fixed on you, judgingly scanning from head to toe and you suddenly realised why Dream tensed up the way he did - old white women sure had a way to make you anxious. Thankfully, he stepped in.

“Aunt Bessie, this is Y/N, my girlfriend. Y/N, this is aunt Bessie, my mom’s older sister.” he generously offered the explanation you were so obviously lacking and you grinned, as if that information helped you in any way, and stuck out your hand in an offer of a handshake. However, she seemed to have different plans, because as soon as she heard the words “my girlfriend” her face lit up as if she won the lottery and her lips stretched into a smile, opening her arms for you the same way she did for him.

“Oh my God, you finally got a girlfriend? Come here!” she said, shaking her head at your outstretched hand and gesturing you to return the hug which you quite hesitantly did, politely laughing as she hugged you tighter than you’d deem appropriate. Dream came from a family of huggers - that much was apparent from him, you guess, but you weren’t exactly prepared for this.

Aunt Bessie seemed to be way louder and screechier than expected, because the word “girlfriend” boomed through the room and off the snowy walls, and at least five other family members of his turned around to check who the lucky fellow that finally got a girlfriend was. Another one of his aunts seemed to notice the commotion and suddenly, another older woman with shoulder length, dyed blonde hair, along with her two younger kids, was hurling at you as well.

“I always complained to him that it was about time he got a girlfriend! He’s a fine young man, no wonder you picked him, honey.” Aunt Bessie shot you a knowing look and you closed your mouth in a tight lipped smile in a feverish attempt to keep down the laugh that threatened to escape you.

“Oh yeah, he definitely is.” you giggled, looking up at Dream again who looked like he wanted the earth below his feet to open and swallow him whole. Before you could nudge him in the ribs and tease him for hours to come, the other aunt suddenly spoke up.

“Clay! Oh my gosh, is that you?” she exclaimed, shocked grin on her face, and you briefly wondered if Dream ever even visited his family. He nervously smiled, obviously not really sure who this woman even is, but he hugged her back anyway, clearly walking the line between ‘happy to see his family’ and ‘insanely uncomfortable’.

“I haven’t seen you in so long, your dad hasn’t visited since we moved to Toronto! Look at how tall you are, you’re taller than my husband now! You used to be so tiny, whatever happened to you?” Upon hearing the word Toronto he seemed to realise who he was talking to as his eyes softened, and you wondered if he really was so expressive or you could just read him that well.

“I grew up, I guess.” He awkwardly laughed and she laughed harder than she should’ve before turning to you.

“Oh, and who is this?” She said, gaze periodically switching between him and you, a knowing smile on her face which told you she definitely knew who you were.

“Ah, this is my girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, this is… my dad’s cousin, Mabel.” He introduced, large hand landing on your back, and you felt like you were experiencing déjà vu at the way her face lit up at the mention of a girlfriend.

“Wow, it’s so nice to meet you, Y/N!” She said, energetically shaking your hand, before turning back to Dream. “You never told us you got a girlfriend! You’re finally planning on settling down, huh?”

Your head snapped in his direction at the speed of light when she mentioned settling down, and you could see him tense up as well as he nervously laughed.

“Yeah, we haven’t visited in a while, so nobody from the family really knew. And, uh… we haven’t really thought of that yet, we’re taking it slow and everything.” He said and you were almost in awe at how good he was at bullshitting. The woman did nothing but laugh.

“Ah, don’t lie to me, I see the way you two look at each other! It’s your wedding we’ll be attending next!” She winked, and just as Dream got ready to fake laugh once again, her family called her over and she excused herself, walking off.

The two of you hurried to your seats as well, sitting down next to his younger sister.

“Your family is insane, man, holy shit.” You laughed in disbelief, staring at him as he shook his head, clearly as distressed as you were.

“Literally nobody in this family gives a single fuck if I’m single or not except the old aunties. And I seem to have a shit ton of those.” He muttered under his breath. “The way you look at each other - I literally didn’t even look at you properly that whole time!”

You cackled at that one, hitting his arm. “She’s right, Clay. You’re one fine young man, eh?” You nudged him as he groaned in embarrassment, only turning your way to glare at you.

You didn’t get to tease him for much longer, though, because the organ started playing and the bridesmaids and groomsmen lined up, the groom standing at his designated place. The bride walked in, arms locked with her father, thin white veil covering her face as she walked down the aisle, looking angelic in her puffy wedding gown. Silky brown hair fell down her shoulders, curled towards the ends, and you could see the hint of blood red lipstick beneath the veil. She looked beautiful - the groom seemed to think so as well, because you could see him tapping the corner of his eye lightly, wiping any stray tears.

She finally made it to the end and stepped to face her soon-to-be husband as her father moved away, sitting back in his chair. The wedding officiant stepped up, and held a speech much longer than it should be, which just led you to zone out.

One day you’d be beneath that veil, wouldn’t you? One day, you’ll face your fiancé the same way she is, and you’ll let your hearts link with a string that nobody but the two of you could snap. Who would that be, though? Who could you even trust with your heart in their hands? And you’re not aware of how and why and when, but your eyes shot up at Dream, whose eyes also glinted in that way where you knew he wasn’t paying attention, and maybe he was thinking about the same thing as you. Maybe one day, you’ll be attending his wedding, forcing one of your friends to play a fake boyfriend as he wipes his tears, waiting for his bride to get to him.

It was disheartening, the thought of being a bystander while he locks lips with somebody else. You supposed you just liked being the center of attention, so you let yourself pretend you were his bride in your daydreams. Separating daydreams from rational thoughts was mandatory, because you weren’t sure how you’d explain to yourself that you can’t stand seeing Dream marry someone else.

Dream, the infamous hopeless romantic, still seemed out of it, maybe even a little emotional, despite not being that close with either of the two. He was probably thinking about his own wedding as well, thinking about his future, the face he’d see when he pulled back the veil.

Just then, his eyes darted to yours, and you realised you were caught staring, snapping your head back to the couple that started reading their vows by now. You started going red from the neck up, cheeks on fire as you could feel his gaze burning into you. He turned back after a few seconds, though, probably assuming you stared at him because you were bored, and neither of you spoke, even though you kind of wish you did. What even is there to say, though?

By the time you snapped back, the “I do”s were already being said, and her veil was getting lifted, showing her beauty to everyone present, and as they kissed the whole room bursted into cheers and applause in support of the newlyweds. The two exit, teary eyed, their parents follow close behind, and that’s when Dream’s family rushes both of you to your feet, following the two into the reception hall where the actual party would take place.

From then on, the wedding is the same as any other. The two have their first dance, they give a welcoming speech, and Dream lets you stuff your face with cake and repeatedly refills your wine glass as repayment for dragging you into this whole thing. At some point, he stretches his hand out to you and asks for a dance like a rom-com main character, and you’re not sure exactly why he did that because he’s mostly terrible at dancing, but you had fun letting him twirl you until you got dizzy anyway.

You also realised just how much he did actually need a fake girlfriend, because it seemed like every twenty minutes some sort of relative of his would walk up to the two of you and congratulate him on “finally getting a girlfriend”. You ended up bullying him for that as well, wondering just how long he’s been single for if they’re all this surprised that he’s got a girlfriend, to which he just downed the glass of water he’d been sipping for half an hour and asked you about the weather.

His family took a few pictures with the new couple - you even got to speak to the bride at some point, congratulating her and wishing the two of them well, but in the span of a few hours, the wedding was over and the newlyweds made a great exit, signifying the end of the party. The two of you were driven home by his parents, and you waved them goodbye as you stumbled to the front door, your heels insanely uncomfortable and the red wine in your stomach weighing down on you; you just wanted to get out of this dress and into a pair of pajamas and pass out on his couch in the living room.

That’s sort of exactly what you did - you half-assed taking your makeup off, wiping down your face a couple of times, deciding that was enough before changing into some worn pajamas and plopping down on the couch next to Dream who already claimed his place and sunk into the cushion while a random movie played on the TV. The two of you basked in the comfortable silence that surrounded you, the exhausted, tired type. You both appreciated the quiet and fell asleep sitting next to each other, wedding already forgotten.

That night, he went from Dream to Clay.

The departure was bittersweet. You left two days after that, your hug at the airport tight, warm, filled with a sugary sweet feeling you couldn’t quite place and sour acid that ate away at you because you didn’t want to leave in the slightest. His arms were warm, inviting, whispering for you to stay but you left anyway, waving him goodbye, setting off to home.

It seemed like all your problems came and went with him, because a week later, at 3 in the morning while you were up editing a video, you got an all caps message on your Discord from Sapnap.

“YOU’RE DATING DREAM?”

You blinked at your computer screen, white letters blinding you in the dark, brain trying to keep up with why he even thought that. Within 10 seconds, another message, this time from Dream.

“so i told george and sapnap that we’re dating”

“don’t kill me pls”

Yeah, you weren’t going to kill him, per se, but he definitely made your life a lot harder than it should be. You opened Discord, Premiere Pro and the unedited video abandoned, typing back to Clay quickly.

“WHY”

He responded immediately, as one panicked man does.

“they’ve been making fun of me for being single for ages now :(“

“we already did this fake dating thing before and it went perfectly fine”

“just play along for a month or so”

“pls”

You audibly sighed. And as if he could hear you, he started typing again.

“i’ll promote you on my channel more”

“just pls do it”

“you love me, right”

Another sigh fell from your lips before you could stop it. Of course you did, because if you didn’t, there’s no way you would be playing into this. You typed back.

“fine”

He messaged back immediately.

“THANK YOU”

“LOVE YOU <333”

With a shake of your head, you mumbled “idiot” with the ghost of a smile flashing on your face, switching back to your video, opting to ignore Sapnap for a little bit. He could wait.

Fake dating seemed pretty damn easy during the first week - you thought you were killing it by sending corny tweets and staged selfies so he could screenshot them and send them to the groupchat, giggling on call about how oblivious they are and how you’re fooling them so good, both of you opting to ignore the parts where they claimed they knew the two of you were gonna get together eventually. It was fun, lighthearted, and an excuse to flirt with someone you had nothing official with.

As much as all your problems came and went with Clay, though, they came and went with his friends as well, especially that hopeless man Clay called his best friend.

Because yeah, of course Sapnap was the one to accidentally spill to the public that the two of you were “dating”.

George was streaming at what was apparently a normal time in the UK, not so much for Florida, and Clay was sleeping while you were watching his stream while making some food for yourself. It was going fine, a bit of a chill stream, and you leaned against the fridge as your oven preheated, tired eyes following his Minecraft skin.

“Sophie, thank you for the dono! ‘Hey George, I love your videos, just wanted to ask if you were speedrunning with Dream today?’” he read out, and you could faintly hear Sapnap join the stream through your headphones.

“No I’m not, Dream’s… I don’t know what Dream’s doing right now, actually. He’s not responding to me, though. Probably talking to his girlfriend still.” he continued, exaggerating the last part mockingly, still playing into the whiny role of being upset that Clay was ditching the two of them for you. That majorly woke you up, though, as you stood straight on your feet immediately, because oh no, nobody was supposed to know.

You exited out of the Twitch app quickly, letting the stream play in the background as you tried to fish for Sapnap’s profile on Discord and text him as quick as possible, trying to warn him to not let anybody know, but before you could do it, you heard his laughter clear in the stream.

“Yeah, Y/N, his sweetie poo.” Sapnap said, causing George to laugh even louder, before moving onto the next topic, and your heartbeat picked up an insane amount, nails loud and probably damaging your phone screen as you typed as quickly as humanly possible to yell at him because this was not planned, at all.

You heard him go quiet after you shot him a couple of messages over Discord (“SAPNAP” “ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID” “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU” “NOBODY KNOWS YET” “IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU”), type something to George who then fell quiet as well for a few seconds, pure horror on his face, and then went back to streaming as if nothing happened while Sapnap profusely apologised to you on his and George’s behalf.

No apology could fix what had already been done, though, and you were left alone with the warzone that was Twitter who had already speculated the two of you were dating long before while Clay peacefully slept somewhere in his house at 4 am in Florida. You bombarded him with messages and waited until he woke up ‘cause what were you even supposed to do?!

You chose to spend your time finishing the pizza you were originally supposed to make and almost burnt your whole apartment down because you forgot the oven was on for a whole hour while yelling at Clay’s idiotic best friends. You yelled at Sapnap, who kept apologising to you, you yelled at George, who yelled back that it’s not that big of a deal because people were bound to find out anyways, and you yelled at Clay, because he was the guilty one somehow for not being awake during your breakdown.

He did eventually wake up though, to the shitshow that were his notifications with at least thirty messages from each of you, messages from his other YouTube friends who were fairly surprised, and his entire fanbase going ham on Twitter. He was surprisingly calm about it - calmer than you were, anyways, and sheepishly said over the phone that the fake dating thing may have to go on for a little longer since you couldn’t just date for a month and then break up, and you were sort of okay with that.

And of course, the business side of him awoke at that moment, and he giddily told you about the amount of views the two of you could pull if you did the same shit you do with George and Sapnap anyway, but on livestream.

You rolled your eyes.

And then agreed anyway.

And so, the charade began.

His Twitter statement was up shortly, telling the people that you’d been dating for a couple of weeks and weren’t planning to tell anybody yet until a certain someone spilled their guts live, and the fact Dream was dating someone, let alone another popular streamer, took the internet by storm. You expected hate, and you got quite a bit of that, but the people that had shipped the two of you before were certainly more than delighted and a lot of Clay’s fans were supportive.

Now, both of you had excuses to do chill streams together and just hang out and you took the opportunity and ran with it.

You’d sit and play Geoguessr or just try and speedrun Minecraft a bunch of times for hours on end, doing stupid bits and things you’d be doing offline anyways, with a little more flirting than usual, because that’s what made it interesting.

“Oh this is France, for sure.” you claimed one night, two or three weeks after the secret was officially out, chewing on the fries you bought for this specific occasion, streaming on his alt to a few thousand people.

“You think so? It could be Belgium, too.” he responded, humming in thought as he looked around.

“I know so.” you responded.

“How?”

“I just do. Gamer intuition, babe.” you said, and he wheezed at your response, repeating the words gamer intuition under his breath.

“No, seriously. It is France, I know it is, I’ve seen so many pictures of that place I know it like the back of my hand now. That’s Lyon, or something.” you continued, plopping another french fry into your mouth.

“You have? Why do you know so much about France, that’s so random.” he responded, opening the map and pointing to France, although he keeps looking around, unsure of his decision.

“I dunno, I like it there. I wish I could move there.” you replied.

“Why, though?”

“It’s pretty and heavily romanticised! Just like me!” you joked and he laughed, before letting you continue. “I dunno, it’s the city of love. Be a little romantic.”

“The… the city of love is whatever city the two of us are in.” he said, and it took a few seconds for you to process the joke before letting out a fake disappointed sigh.

“I can’t believe I’m dating someone as corny as you.”

At that, he bursts into wheezes, and you follow along, enjoying the sound of his laughter coursing through your headphones more than you used to a few weeks back. It feels nice, feels right, acting like this. You like calling him your boyfriend more than you think you should.

A few weeks go by, and it feels all too natural. It feels too natural, talking to him first thing in the morning when you’ve barely even had your coffee, calling him pet names, throwing sweet words at each other publicly like they mean nothing. It feels all too natural, and nice, and all too right, and you don’t even notice when the two of you cross the line between public and private, and you’re stuck making stupid jokes about making out when you first see each other when there’s nobody to witness them except the walls of your rooms, but you don’t like thinking about that, because you know it’ll bring nothing but confusion. The current this that the two of you have is perfect to you, perfectly lighthearted and funny and fun, and you intend on keeping it that way, refusing to think about it in any way past jokes.

That is, until you can’t anymore.

It’s late, again, and you’re staring at his contact name on your phone screen, lazily lying on the bed. It reminds you of a night from roughly 3 months ago, when your whole friendship seemed to change in the few seconds it took you to process what he’d asked of you, and it feels weird, but nice.

“My mom really likes you, you know?” Clay breaks the quiet that you’ve learned to appreciate in his presence, and you exhale through your nose, the noise just short of a chuckle.

“Yeah?” You laugh, and he does as well.

“Yeah.” He reaffirms. “She thinks you’re a great girlfriend. Apparently I seem brighter ever since we got together.”

You laugh again. “I am a great girlfriend, to be fair. She’s totally right.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know that. If you’re as good of a girlfriend as you pretend to be, though, then you’re amazing.” He says, and words fly out of your mouth before you can stop them.

“Yeah? You wanna find out?” The flirty nature is nothing strange to the two of you, but this time it feels kinda different, it feels like you’re stepping into dangerous territory that there’s no coming back from. You feel like you’ve ruined everything, for some reason.

He laughs, like normal, though. He laughs like nothing happened at all, and you’re so, so grateful for that.

“Sure, let’s do it. You’re about to unpack the full Clay boyfriend experience.” He snickers and you laugh as well.

“That means I just unlock the dick as well as the personality.” you respond, quick as always, and the wheeze that escapes him is so loud that it makes you laugh too.

“...Unlock the dick…” he repeats through another wheeze and you nod, laughing.

“Yeah! I mean I’m literally experiencing the boyfriend experience without actually having a boyfriend, it’s fuckin’ great.” you say and he hums.

“You could have one, though.”

The implications are crazy, his words are crazy, he’s crazy and everything that he could mean and couldn’t mean by that is driving you crazy too, brain faltering and heart seeming way too big for your chest to contain it. It’s silent.

“I could, I guess.”

You choose to say, and he switches the topic naturally, like he never said anything.

Things are never the same again.

It’s not in a bad way. Sure, it is kind of a bad way for the feelings you’re trying to push down inside you, a bad way for hot nights when the unbearable heat forces you to stay up even when you don’t want to and you have no choice but to think about why you feel the way you feel as you melt into the burning sheets below you, a bad way for when he jokes about finding somebody else and you feel your stomach churning. A bad way for realising that this fake dating thing is really getting to you, but not a bad way in general.

Maybe it’s in a good way. Maybe the underlying implications whenever he makes jokes about making the relationship real are good, maybe the way he calls you in the middle of the night when he’s anxious and freaking out and defends himself by saying: “You’re my girlfriend, you’re always there for me, I just figured I could call you.” and you end up wondering if it’s possible to say jokes in such a vulnerable state or if he’s serious is good, maybe the way it’s been a few months and he won’t tell his own best friends that it was a joke the whole time is good, maybe the way you confronted him about it and he said he likes having you as his girlfriend is good.

Maybe the way the two of you are always walking the line between joking and being serious, between being friends and something more, between lies and pranks and emotional investment and fear of committing, and the way you’re always trying to push the other off, is good.

The fans love it. The fanart is incredible (serves especially well for those hot nights when you can’t fall asleep and you scroll, watching yourself fall in love with Clay in every universe, tales told by people who observe your story and find it worthy enough to retell in their own words, to take the love you pretend to have and turn it into something real), people love to gush over the compliments he sprinkles in at random times during conversation and the general flirty dynamic is loved by many, pulling in more views and attraction for you.

And you suppose that’s good too, but at some point, the good warps into bad, bad warps into terrible, and you wonder if this is all even worth the sleepless nights, wondering if he feels the same way.

Those thoughts haunt you more and more often every day. When you wake up, and text him first thing in the morning, your brain acknowledges that the camera is off - nobody’s around, people aren’t listening, so why are you still playing the role of a girlfriend and starting up a conversation with him when you haven’t even brushed your teeth properly? When you’re editing in the middle of the day and he calls to keep you company, making more stupid boyfriend jokes, your stomach flips in a weird way that makes you hate him, hate the way he can joke about these things so freely, like it doesn’t hurt him. Like it doesn’t affect him like it affects you.

But, as much as you wish you could hate him, you couldn’t bring yourself to, and that was the worst part. Because, in reality, whenever he laughed you’d smile without realising you did, whenever anything exciting happened to you he was the first one you went to, whenever you wanted to laugh or cry or sit in silence for hours or complain you always went to him, the one person who you know would listen. In reality, whenever he made a joke about giving up on the fake dating and making it real, you wished so bad that he was serious this time, that this was what it took and he’d crack and all of your suffering would end.

It eventually happens.

It’s a pretty chilly morning, birds chirp outside and the sun that slowly rises is covering the kitchen floor in a golden hue as you pour milk into your cereal with one hand and hold your phone in the other, letting Clay ramble about whatever it was this time, when he brought it up.

“So, when do you wanna come down to Florida again?” he asks casually, and you almost drop the gallon of milk in your hand.

“What?”

“I said, when are you coming down to Florida again? Last time you came was pretty fun.” he says, and an empty silence follows. There’s an unsaid “I miss you” that you don’t hear, and he’s too afraid of saying it.

“Florida wasn’t exactly on my schedule this month, man.” you say, placing your phone on the counter for a second. Clay sure knew how to surprise a person.

“Well put it down, then.” he jokes, and you hum.

“What, you got another wedding coming up?” you giggle and he groans - you never really stopped making fun of him for that wedding.

“No, I don’t. Can’t a man just miss seeing his beloved girlfriend?” It’s unbelievable how quickly dread can wash over you as soon as he makes one of those jokes. You were convinced the mix of anxiety and butterflies that appears in your stomach was gonna kill you sometime soon.

“He can, he’s just being weirdly insistent.” you argue nonetheless. “But sure, I’ll consider it.”

You do more than consider it - in a few weeks, you’re back at the airport, and falling into his arms has never given you such an adrenaline rush in your whole life. Something about having him wrapped around you, close to you, the warmth of his body radiating into yours sent you spiraling, head clouded with nothing but love and the fact that you wish you could stay there forever. You wished you could press pause and cherish the moment, let yourself bask in that feeling of pure love, pure adoration that you helplessly drowned in. But you couldn’t, and you left his arms feeling oddly empty.

Hiding the fact that you were unapologetically head over heels for him proved to be a hundred times more difficult when you were right there, next to him, talking to him, when you could just kiss him any second, feel his lips on yours and nobody would stop you - the opportunity was right there, looming over you, the devil on your shoulder taunting you, telling you to do it.

You got to wake up in the same house as him, watch his hair stick out in different directions and his raspy morning voice as he complained about the smell of your coffee, watch his eyes glint whenever he talked about something he liked and observe as he carried around Patches like a little baby. You got to experience every bit of domestic without the consequences of committing, and you wondered just how far this would go. For how much longer would the two of you blatantly ignore the fact that you were a couple that slapped the title “fake” on it because you were cowards who refused to admit what this truly was.

Not for long, apparently, because you grew tired, and decided to put an end to everything on one random Thursday night - and if he hated you forever for it, then so be it.

You were sitting on his couch, watching a random movie together, drowning in one of his Dream hoodies while you chewed the popcorn he made. It was dark outside, just past midnight, and you could see the branches of a tree swaying calmly through one of the nearby windows - the silence while he scrolled through his phone lazily was comforting too, everything was lazy and serene and it would’ve been perfect if it wasn’t for the constant anxiety that gripped you by the throat whenever you were in his close proximity, the nervousness that killed you, the upset feeling of wanting to cuddle up with him but knowing you can’t because you guys are just friends, and nothing more.

The couple on the screen kiss while a violin plays in the background - how fitting. Maybe that’s what pushes you to the edge, or maybe you were just that sick and tired.

You were exhausted, beyond exhausted. Your eyes were tired, the anxiety was morphing into annoyance and anger and you were ready to give up on it all. If this ended the friendship, at least you two had a good run. Your heart couldn’t take it anymore.

“You know, you still owe me a favor in return for pretending to be your girlfriend.” you say, and you sound gone, zoned out, more than you wish you were. You hear his phone turn off with a click.

“Yeah? What do you want?” Clay asks, and you blankly stare at the TV for a few seconds before turning to face him, eyes burning.

“Kiss me.”

It’s silent. The characters on screen are arguing. You hear the wind through one of his open windows.

“What?” he asks, voice cracking, and his expression falls. You’ve fucked it. Oh well.

“I want you to kiss me. Kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me like someone’s watching and you wanna make it believable.” you say, eyes boring into his, your words having nowhere near as much of an effect on yourself as they do on him. Your eyes sting like they’re being lit on fire, and your throat is sort of closing up, but it’s fine. “Let me have this before I go, because once I leave, I don’t wanna do this anymore, Clay. I can’t pretend like I don’t want you to introduce me as your girlfriend and fully mean it. I can’t lie to your face anymore.”

Silence. Deafening silence, once again.

“I love you.” he blurts out, and you don’t even register it at first. “I don’t want this shit to be fake either. God, I really don’t. It hasn’t been fake for a while now, at least not on my part. I’m sorry, it’s just- it was easier to keep this bit going than it was to actually admit that I’m… into you.”

And once again, the room falls into silence, much like it always does whenever the two of you share moments like these.

And then, you burst into laughter.

“So… so you mean to tell me, that both of us have liked each other this whooooole fucking time, and just refused to admit it and ‘pretended to date’ instead?” you burst into giggles, and he looks sort of hesitant to laugh, but he does anyway.

“I mean… yeah? I was waiting for you to call me out for doing all that when nobody was watching! Why did you never call me out?! Don’t blame me, I made it so damn obvious that I wanted you!” he protests, and you almost can’t believe what you’re hearing.

“Excuse me? You should’ve just fucking told me instead of making a million and one jokes about how I’m your girlfriend! We’re not in middle school, Clay!” you argue.

“Yeah, but I thought you’d catch on and talk to me about it at some point! You never called me out for anything!”

“So what, I’m supposed to just read your mind now? You’re fucking unbelievable.” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest and turning away in annoyance. As soon as a warm hand lands on your shoulder, though, the annoyance melts like wax under fire, leaving nothing behind.

“I still haven’t returned that favor, you know?” he whispers in your ear, breath fanning your neck, closer than he should be. The hairs on your neck stand up as you turn back to Clay, who wore a mischievous grin and a glint in his eyes that suggested no good.

You suppose bad can be good, sometimes.

As his lips press onto yours, that theory is proven true, because he sends a flicker of fire burning down your spine, spreading into your limbs, making your fingertips electric as you pulled him in closer, hand snaking up to grip at his hair - the everlasting grin against your own proves, once again, to be no good as his hands slip under your hoodie and grip your sides, but you think you enjoy this sort of bad.

They sneak up further, and you hear him chuckle into the kiss as your insides melt at his touch. The two of you silently agree that maybe he should ask for favors more often.

#dreamwastaken x reader #dreamwastaken imagine #dreamwastaken fluff #dreamwastaken fanfic #dreamwastaken angst #dream x reader #dream x you #dreamwastaken x y/n

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