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#ITS LIKE THEY TOOK FATE OUT OF THE COMIC AND SLAPPED HIM INTO THE REAL WORLD
sailorsophiee · 2 years
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them: perfect casting doesn’t exist
me:
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dragonrebelrose · 4 years
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TROS Reaction 12-20-19. AKA my 6 page long dissertation about why I really disliked TROS.
I didn’t think it would be this bad. I truly thought there would be some gleaming moments of redeemability, but no. It’s one...giant...shit-show. What a horrible blow to the end of not only the sequel trilogy and these characters but to everything that came before. It really takes skill to mess up this badly.
A little something nice though, was the guy I sat next to. Really nice (and cute too ^-^ ) and he offered me some of his candy (Buncha Crunch! My favorite!) before the film started and then throughout the film because he said, “Well this is consolation for having to sit next to me.” Aw I couldn’t have asked for a better seat partner, I didn’t even know him! And then when the film ended he knew I didn’t take it well and I cried and shook through many moments and he offered the rest of his candy and I said, “Thanks, I think I need it.” I asked him what he thought overall and he said, “C-3P0 was pretty funny.” I said, “Yeah I agree. I actually knew everything that happened before I saw it, and I thought it was a mess.” He chuckled and said, “Me too, but I didn’t want to say anything in case you liked it.” I said, “Oh, no, I didn’t really like it. But I gotta be honest, Ben Solo didn’t deserve to die. That’s just my opinion.” I think he was surprised by that but didn’t disagree. He just kinda nodded or something and then we said goodbye and he left with his buddies, who also seemed pretty unenthused by the whole movie. Hopefully I gave him something to think about with my comment, but he was really nice and I’m glad he sat next to me.
Pessimism aside for now, I’ll start by listing the things I liked. I gotta be honest, there’s not much here.
Reylo is canon! But, in my opinion, it was handled pretty badly. Ben’s death is only the start of the problems for it, but more on that later.
C-3P0 is funny I guess. Yes he is annoying sometimes like usual, but not more so than other times.
D-O is freaking adorable. Out of everything good I’ve listed I have no qualms with this one. His manner is cute, his speaking is very funny, and his actions are just precious.
Babu Frik is very cute too, just perfect! Lovely little puppet! Don’t know why he was shoehorned in at the end battle but whatever. We never saw him again.
Maz is a puppet now? Okay, cool. Wish that would’ve been the case since the beginning. You had the technology JJ.
The music is good, when it’s given its own time to shine and be noticed. I feel like I barely noticed it was there because sound effects just drowned it out. Really wasted, but still good nonetheless.
Leia’s death and how it affected Ben. Wow. This was the first moment I truly cried. This was handled very well by Adam Driver, and then Maz saying “Goodbye, Princess.” Ouch, that got me.
Ben talking to the memory of his father! This is something I did not know was in the movie and boy am I glad I wasn’t spoiled for it! THIS is where the really hard tears and sobbing came. I was literally shaking and shivering trying to keep it in so as not to disturb everyone else. This. Part. Was. Perfect. Ben looks at him like he wants to say “I love you,” and Han says out loud “I know.” *crazy screaming and crying* Out of all the things they got wrong for Ben in this film, THIS they got right!
Ben Solo is the Solo boy we always wanted. Running in with a t-shirt, gun slinging, blasting opponents without even looking. THIS is a true son of Solo! But of course they give him no lines except “Ow.” THAT was a bad idea.
And that’s it. Yes those are the only things I even remotely liked, but I have to be honest, each one of these has some kind of problem attached to it which sours the real enjoyment.
On to what I disliked. Strap in lads, this is going to be a long ride.
1. The pacing. OH. MY. GOSH. SLOW. THE. FUCK. DOWN. For fucks sake I couldn’t even process what the hell was happening before we were on to the next thing! This was the biggest problem with the movie, BY FAR. Yes I know the story is terrible, we’ll get to that, but the pacing just completely took me out of the movie. I couldn’t feel invested in anything because it was all in one ear and out the other like ten-fold!
And this is part of the issue I have with how Reylo was handled. It. Felt. So. Rushed. And. Unfinished. There weren’t enough scenes with them and the scenes we did get were so fast and then over with that it felt like no progress was being made at all! It felt, for lack of a better word, unearned. And I know, that’s not really the case since they’ve had plenty of build-up in the last 2 films, but there wasn’t enough time with them spent NOT fighting and hating each other and opposing each other. Yes, I know, Kylo kept trying to get Rey to take his hand, but it doesn’t feel genuine because even Kylo feels out of character, and Rey too, big time. Now this isn’t the actor’s faults, they did what they could with the shitty story they were given, so I put all this blame at JJ’s desk.
In any case the overall film pacing was too fast, too much, too soon, too many things onscreen, too many things happening at once, not enough character, not enough motivation, not enough letting scenes breathe and just play out naturally. Everything felt forced for the sake of the “plot.” Oh we gotta get this thing, and then that thing, to get this thing, so we can defeat these guys! LET. US. BREATHE.
2. The story. My gosh, they couldn’t have picked a worse storyline to follow. Everything truly felt like it was written by a fanboy who wanted to retcon everything in TLJ, even down to the dialogue. Everyone keeps saying to Rey “You’re a Palpatine.” But it sounds SO strange, like nobody says things like this. I get it, it’s a space fantasy, they talk weird mumbo jumbo but it just sounds like a fanboy ghost wrote this. Like we gotta have everyone know now she’s a Palpatine! You’re a Palpatine! You’re a Palpatine! Palpatine heir! All bow down to the Palpatine! Give me a break.
3. Yeah, let’s talk about Palps. The old raisin himself. You know, I never really liked ROTS, but Palps was always a great thing about it. He was sinister, diabolical, he had a plan and knew what to do with it. But this Palps. *le heavy sigh* What a waste this was. For one thing, the lightning effects that lights up his face is really annoying, even for someone who doesn’t get seizures, I can’t even imagine what it’s like for those who do, I’m so sorry. And like, he has this whole legion of Sith followers? The fuck? Where the hell were these guys before? I’m sure they existed BEFORE the last Sith Lord died, right?
I digress. I have a question though: why does he want Rey so much? Why didn’t he try to get his son to take over? Wouldn’t that have been easier? Also, WHO DID HE FUCK TO GET A SON?? HOW DID HIS SON GET AWAY FROM HIM?? WHY DID HIS SON APPARENTLY TURN TO THE LIGHT?? THERE’S TOO MANY QUESTIONS HERE AND NO GOOD EXPLANATIONS. AND NO DISNEY, I DON’T WANT A 10-PART COMIC ON THIS. GO FUCK YOURSELVES.
The only interesting thing about Palps in this film is that his face gets melted off like a Raiders of the Lost Ark knock-off. He better not be coming back. Ever again.
4. And hey, while we’re on the subject, let’s talk about Rey’s parents. So apparently they’re both good people. *le sigh* But what kind of good people leave their daughter alone on a harsh and unforgiving planet with a blubber guy? And don’t tell me they didn’t know he was an abusive asshole, they LIVED on Jakku, they HAD to have known him, ESPECIALLY if they truly were junk traders, they would have DEALT with him. Oh, and apparently the “I’ll come back for you sweetheart, I promise” line is changed up a bit and given to her father after all. No. Screw that. That line was meant for Ben, I don’t care how petty this sounds, this is terrible. So yeah, fuck Rey’s parents, I don’t care how “good” you try to make their intentions, they’re badly shoehorned in and they screw up anyway. Next.
5. Ben’s story and his fate. So yeah, obviously I hate that Ben died, but more than that I hate how his story was handled here. It was so rushed, it didn’t feel as natural as it should have. It needed time to BREATHE. A lot of time! And I feel like they really shafted Kylo/Ben’s story off to the side to give more time to the hereby named GoldenTrio. (You know who I mean...we’ll get to them.) It really seemed like JJ didn’t even care about Ben’s fate anymore, and just kind of put it in as an afterthought. His death scene? Not even given a fucking minute to process because WE GOT TO PARTAY. All in all, his whole story is so terribly sad that I don’t even know if I can watch TFA or TLJ anymore, knowing how it ends.
6. The GoldenTrio. Oh for fucks sake, JJ, you should have killed Poe off when you had the chance, because now the story is all about THEM. Boom! They’re literally front and center in the movie. I don’t even think Reylo gets as much screen time as them. I mean really, Ben’s death scene and Rey’s grieving gets 1.5 minutes, tops. GoldenTrio reunion and threesome hugging? 5 fucking minutes of nothing but them hugging. I’m not even exaggerating. (Okay maybe I am, but it’s given more focus and time to “breathe” than Ben Solo’s fucking death. I’m getting a headache remembering it.)
Hey, remember in ESB and ROTJ where the trio got split up and had their own story lines and own purposes to fulfill without each other hanging around (apart from Han and Leia because their story lines are interconnected)? Yeah, I miss that too.
Also, Rey keeps wandering off being “pulled” to something, and every...single...time, Finn is like “Rey, wait! Poe we gotta get her! rEy CoMe BaCk!!” This happens at least 5 times, pretty consecutively too. It gets old real fast. Boy do I miss the days of TLJ where people got to be away from each other to discover new things without interference.
Which leads me to another point: They tried to shove FinnRey in here while shitting on FinnRose quite literally. What. A. Slap. To. The. Face. This is horrible treatment, and I hope Kelly will never do another interview for Lucasfilm again. She doesn’t deserve this.
7. The Ending™. Wow. What a way to show that your characters haven’t progressed at all by showing them in the same environment that they started in. Let’s do an overview: Rey starts out alone on a desert planet and meets a droid that isn’t hers. Rey ends up alone on a desert planet with a droid that still isn’t hers. PROGRESSION 101!! *slaps forehead* I mean, don’t even get me started on the fact that Ben isn’t there with her and that literally one half of her soul is gone (how is she not in agony right now??), but then to add more salt to the wound she’s just like “oh yeah I must be the rightful successor to the Skywalker name, even tho I’m a Palps...makes sense to me!” Fuck off. You don’t deserve that title after hating Luke for not doing what you wanted him to do and for hating Ben for most of this movie too.
Can we also acknowledge that this is THE ABSOLUTE WORST POSSIBLE WAY TO END A 40 YEAR SAGA AND FAMILY LEGACY? So, Palps had a kid who had a kid. This kid is then deemed a-okay by the family that was affected most by Palps and they welcome her like the sunshine child she is, yet shun their own offspring for being damaged goods because he was being manipulated by said Palps. Okay, it’s official now, everyone’s an asshole...except Ben. He seemed to be the only one to understand his faults and right his wrongs and not be an idiot. Then the kid who was abused and manipulated is killed because “reasons” or “problematic” or whatever and the offspring of Palps lives while the family that Palps manipulated is ultimately gone forever because it’s last descendant wanted to save the offspring of Palps out of the goodness of his heart. Now the offspring of Palps doesn’t even give a flipping thank you and steals their name. wHaT a SaTiSfYiNg EnDiNg!!! Someone gag me.
8. Luke’s X-Wing being raised out of the water and it’s in perfect working condition. What. The. Fuck. I don’t know if you guys realize this, but this completely undermines Luke’s arc in TLJ. That X-Wing was sunk and dead to show that he had no desire to return to the outside world. He was staying on the island. For good. And he buried that thing in water to make sure he couldn’t use it ever again, but it was still visible to him to remind him of his conviction if ever he questioned it. But no. That thing is a-okay and ready to fly. No need for parts, there’s no rust or any sea salt corrosion, ready to go skipper! This was just added for easy call-backs to ESB but boy this had absolutely 0 weight to it. I literally yawned or looked at my watch around this part thinking “oh my gosh isn’t it over yet?” Pretty much sums up my entire experience.
9. Rose got shafted to appease the fanboys. This one needs no further explanation or analysis, it just sucks and has no real reason to exist.
10. Luke was barely in it and offered not that great advice. Poor Mark. His performance really peaked with TLJ and never went back up.
11. Rey is suddenly the Avatar now? You can now talk to all previous Jedi’s who existed? What buffoonery is this? Oh, but Ben doesn’t get a single. fucking. word. from Anakin, the man he looked up to. I’m so tired right now. What’s left?
12. The message changed from “it doesn’t matter if you’re a nobody, you’re a somebody to me” to “you’re a somebody with a bad bloodline, but that doesn’t define you (except when it totally does)”. That sort of message would be fine if it had been the message since TFA, but it wasn’t. The message since TFA was “I’m a nobody, but I can become a somebody regardless of my lineage or my childhood.” Why change the message in the 11th hour? To appease fanboys. Literally anything that makes no sense in this movie can be attributed to fanboys. There’s so much contradiction and hypocrisy in this film from both the narrative and the characters that it’s insulting.
13. Hux was utterly shafted too. What a waste of a well built up and conniving little bastard who in the end gets shot for shock value and laughs. It’s like what TLJ did but way worse because he’s actually killed. Hux as the spy? Just no.
14. Jannah was kind of wasted too, not enough screen time. I get her and Finn kind of bonding over being ex-stormtroopers, but it’s not really delved into. Also the whole “nature vs. machinery” thing kinda briefly shows up at the big battle and feels unearned too, because there was nothing before in this movie or others to suggest there was a war between the two.
15. Poe is treated more as the heir to Leia than Ben is. Poe gets to fly the falcon and gets to wreck it up (dishonoring who it belonged to before), gets to be by Leia’s deathbed, etc. Not earned at all.
16. The pointlessness of random cameos or thrown in references. Not a single person in my theater noticed John Williams as the bartender, nobody pointed out or said anything about any reference from previous movies, it was silent.
17. What the hell was even the point of the whole “Dark Rey” vision? Oh, she shows her scary pointy teeth ala Bilbo style. No thank you.
18. Why the hell does it feel like these characters aren’t the characters from TFA and TLJ? They feel so different and it’s noticeable.
19. Finn is Force sensitive. Literally tacked on like nobody wouldn’t notice. We noticed JJ. We notice everything.
20. Rey and Kylo/Ben fighting for way too much of the film and their interactions. Not enough caring or understanding, not enough longing looks, it feels like their romance was almost cut from the film entirely.
21. Oh yeah, Rey floating at the beginning? Looked stupid as hell. And the “Be with me” line? I thought maybe, just maybe, she meant Ben, but no. She’s trying to reach “her past selves” like the fucking Avatar and she’s even floating rocks around like Aang did. Ugh.
22. Anything else? Oh yeah, this movie sucks completely and wholly...FOR NOT GIVING ONE FUCKING LINE OF DIALOGUE TO BEN SOLO AFTER HE HAD BEEN REDEEMED. HOW HEARTLESS CAN YOU BE THAT YOU LET HIM DIE WITHOUT SAYING ONE FINAL THING?!?! DAMN J.J. YOU’RE STUPID.
And that’s it. Kudos if you read the whole thing. I ramble a lot.
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JOHNNY CADE X PONYBOY CURTIS
Johnny and Ponyboy were tired. After the fire, and Johnny being so close to death, they non-verbally agreed to not let the small things bother them anymore. Johnny still remembered Darry helping him get into Pony's room, only to see him beside himself with grief, convinced that Johnny was dead, and that it was his fault. Needless to say, as close as they were before, they got impossibly closer. Soda often made jokes about them being joined at the hip, much to the chagrin of both boys.
Pony usually payed attention in class. He didn't really have to because even if he was in older student-level classes, he still aced everything. After That, he decided to not get so angry at Darry for being on his case all the time. He put some effort into school. But on this particular day, the honey-haired boy only had one thing on his mind; Johnny. He might've gotten braver and less shy after realizing everything he was capable of, but Ponyboy was always worried about him; in a weird way no one else seemed to be. He was almost comical in the way he was overprotective of the boy who was older than him, and bigger in every way.
As soon as the final bell rang, Ponyboy grabbed his bag and booked it out of the school, not in the mood to deal with any Socs, and wanting to see his family again. When the boy got outside though, he slowed down, suddenly dreading his small room, as he often felt trapped within the four walls. Ducking into a patch of the woods that he knew lead to an opening with a stream, he let his mind clear for the first time all day.
Arriving at the clearing, he was surprised to see his best friend in the flesh. Johnny looked up from the stump he was sitting on, and let a half-smile cross his face before going back to doodling in the soft dirt with a broken twig. Pony let his bag hit said dirt, and grabbed the book he had snagged from the library. He then took a seat on a large stone leaning on a huge tree, leaving him opposite from Johnny. "The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn," he began, and over the top of the book, he saw Johnny smile a real grin, and lean back against his own tree, closing his eyes.
After about an hour of reading, Pony knew that they would have to get home soon or his brothers would get worried. He sighed, and shook Johnny, who had fallen asleep, awake. “C’mon J, we hafta get back home. Dally had the day off and he made a real nice dinner for us.” After him and the aforementioned Johnny became local legends, they got paid to do a bunch of interviews, and Soda’s car shop wage doubled at all the people swarming after seeing Soda in the news. Dally’s wage also increased, causing him to be able to take a day off once in a while and spend time with his family, both chosen and blood. Especially because of this, The Curtis’ had gladly invited Johnny to live with them, knowing his folks wouldn’t care much, and the boy desperately needed reassurance after he almost died.
Johnny stirred with a bit of coaxing, and then they walked home at a brisk pace. It was already getting dark in October, and it was a bit chilly. Pony shivered despite himself, and Johnny casually draped his arm over Pony’s shoulders, sharing his body heat. Because it was that in between time, before it got super dark, but slightly shadowed, they figured they had no Soc’ to worry about.
Oh, how wrong they were.
They saw a group of guys walking on the other side of the street. Looking at each other, they agreed to speed up, and Johnny put his hand back in his pocket. Pony quietly missed its warmth, especially under his mounting panic. “Queers !” One of the boys from the other group called out to them. They held their breath and moved on, ignoring the comment. Thankfully that was it.
“Pony ?” Johnny said cautiously. “I’m sorry if they made you uncomfortable by calling you that…” Pony furrowed his brows.
“Why would you be thinkin’ that ? And why would it make me feel uncomfortable but not you ?” Johnny stayed silent, and Pony felt his mouth open in a silent ‘o’.
“I mean, it’s not like they’re wrong, are they ?” Johnny laughed, but it was gritty and harsh, so unlike the deep warm laugh Ponyboy had come to love and look forward to through the years. Pony grabbed his shoulder, and they stopped right outside the Curtis House.
“Look, Johnny, it doesn’t matter to me. Would it be terribly insensitive of me if I said I’m the same way ?” Johnny looked down at him (he’d had a growth spurt over the summer, much to everyone’s pleasant surprise), eyes shining with an emotion that was close to hope, but to Pony that made no sense.
“You mean that ? You really mean it ?” Pony nodded and opened his mouth, ready to reply, but the door opened and Soda poked his head out.
“What are y’all doing out there ? It’s cold and besides, Darry made Shepard’s Pie !” Johnny gave Pony a look that said, ‘later’, and Pony nodded back, looking forward to continuing this enlightening conversation with his best friend.
Dinner was great, and they walked together to their shared room. Johnny slept on an air mattress in the corner of the room. But as soon as he slid onto it, it let out a loud pop, and deflated instantly. Johnny groaned and just laying on his now slightly comfortable floor. “I knew I shouldn’t have bought the one that was third hand. Pony, what am I going to do ? I guess I can just sleep on the floor…” Pony sat up off his own bed and stared at Johnny, barely making out his dark hair in the equally as dark room.
“No Johnny, then your back will hurt, and the last thing we want is something upset your spine…” Miraculously, Johnny had made a full recovery from the beam falling on him, but they never wanted to tempt fate again. Johnny made a soft, hurt noise in the back of his throat, and nodded. Both sets of eyes had adjusted to the dark, and Johnny could see Ponyboy’s lips curve into a tentative smile. “If it’s all right with you, I don’t mind sharing.”
When Johnny didn’t answer right away, Pony felt the shame flood his cheeks and he rushed to retract his statement. “I mean, I don’t mind sleeping on the floor ! You can take the bed, in fact you hafta, Johnny !” Johnny stood up, but he was already shaking his head.
“No not at all, Pony ! I was just surprised that you’d be willing to, I mean, with what I’ve said and all…” By the time he finished his sentence, he was at the bedside. Pony lightly slapped him on the arm, too low for him to slap him on the face.
“We’re the same, aren’t we ? I support you no matter what, you’ve gotta realize that, don’tcha ?” Johnny hung his head.
“I don’t know, I know you’ve got me, but it’s just…” Pony didn’t let him finish, and just scooted over, patting the warm spot of the bed he had just left open. JOhnny sighed again, but did slip under the covers, next to Pony.
Seeing as it was only a enlarged twin, Pony was scared that Johnny could hear as well as feel the way his heart was beating out of his chest. It was while contemplating this that he finally realized what all these weird feelings he had for Johnny were. He was in love with his best friend.
Seeing the pieces put together in front of him, he felt like a complete and utter idiot for not realizing sooner.
It was easy to see, whenever he made a joke, his eyes immediately went to look at Johnny to make sure it was funny. Whenever Johnny was talking, Pony made sure that he felt heard. Whenever Johnny used the smile that he reserved for special occasions, Pony’s day brightened and so did his cheeks. Johnny was his favourite. Period.
With that revelation, Pony was scared. What was he to do ? Suppose Johnny found out. He would lose his best friend, his confidant, and the love of his life.
As he sat there stewing, Johnny let out a huff of a laugh. “I can hear you thinking from here. Granted, that’s not a whole lot but it’s somethin’.” Johnny felt Pony smile in response, then felt him shiver.
“Sorry, I’m just cold.” It wasn’t a lie, the night had gotten biting, and Pony was right next to the stone wall, hard and chilly. Johnny sighed, and slowly, gently, as so not to scare the younger boy, wrapped his arm around him, and tugged gently, pulling Pony to his chest.
Pony swore he was dying. His head was on Johnny’s chest and he could feel it racing. He let out a breath of a laugh. “Why is your heart a better running than you are ?” He could practically feel the heat of Johnny’s cheeks as he replied.
“‘Cause I’m nervous…” Pony’s forehead wrinkled. Why would he be nervous ?
“Oh ? and why is that, John ?” Johnny’s chest expanded, lifting Pony’s head with it, sucking in a breath.
“Because I wanna tell you something, but I don’t got the words for it.” Pony nodded thoughtfully against his chest.
“Well then why don’t you try to explain, and I’ll try to put the puzzle ‘gether.”
“You.” Johnny abruptly stopped, and Pony patted his chest to get him to continue. “Safety. Soft. Trust. Warmth. Home.” Johnny flushed an even darker colour, sure he had said too much, too soon, when Pony sat up, and dragged Johnny by the shirt sleeve with him.
Johnny opened his mouth, probably to make things worse when Ponyboy shuts him down with a soft kiss press of the lips. Then he backed up again, and hid his face in his hands. Johnny followed him to the wall, and kissed him again, this time longer, but just as soft and sweet. More of a press of the mouth than anything else. Pony grinned, wider than should be humanly possible, and that broke the kiss. Johnny grabbed his shoulders, and Pony kissed him. Again. And Again.
Pony let out a giggle, his mouth tender and sore. They laid back down, Johnny’s strong arms enveloping Pony, making him feel safe. He understood the words that Johnny had said, because he felt them before he even knew what they meant.
“Goodnight Johnny Cade.”
Goodnight Ponyboy Curtis.”
~hope you enjoyed ! feel free to request anything ! i’m literally in every fandom known to man haha~
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hissairi · 4 years
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Congratulations
It's the first time I've ever written anything related to twisted wonderland so I hope you enjoy it.
It is inspired by the movie "the corpse bride" and an episode of ranma 1/2
I apologize if it is not well written as English is not my main language
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It was true that you loved idia from the first moment you saw him in nigth raven collage, his very shy way of being had captured your attention, and now here you were hiding next to Grimm, watching how ace, riddle, ephel and rook were trying to convince that unfortunate bride to marry one of them and put on that magic ring.
Although she had stolen from the person you loved to marry him as he was her "ideal prince ", which you also were, you were not angry with her, after all it was not her choice to die before finding the one who would be her prince, and it was not her fault to be wandering like a ghost without being able to find peace, you just couldn't hate her and even the idea of sealing her with a ring made you completely horrible, you felt sorry for her, But you also didn't want her to take idia's life, maybe you even felt a little jealous, but it's not that you could do much, now all your hopes were placed in your friends, it's not that you could do much, after all that girlfriend named eliza had already rejected several of your friends, and it's not that persuading a girlfriend was an easy task.
But as if fate wanted to reward that little bride for her long wait, your friends couldn't win her, your face was horrified to see riddle slapped hard and letting that magic ring fall off his hands when he was so close to putting it on, the ring all the way to where they were hiding looking at the whole show, this was wrong, well, it was worse than wrong, not only your feelings for idia but her life were at stake, The reputation of the school and poor ortho who loved his older brother.
Your face had a feeling of sadness, you wanted to help him, you wanted to be able to solve this, you wanted the bride not to suffer anymore, but the fact of wanting to do something is not enough, you also have to act, but if your friends, who were excellent magicians (well most) had fallen under the seal of the ghost bride, who would trust that you a simple human without magic, could save not only one of your best friends but also the one you loved, your face had no expression in space. Just looking into the void.
But just the mention of a single prayer made her heart collapse, "let the ceremony begin." those words made time stop... Time was what was needed to stop this madness, because it was 11 at night, I only had one hour, an hour that would last the ceremony to get married at 12... With all the pain in your heart you knew you couldn't do much for yourself, "come out of here Grimm, we can't do much here" you said while with a sad look you looked directly at idia, as if you wanted to apologize to him, you took the ring between your hands and turned away from the place.
They walked at a slow pace, while Grimm followed you closely and silently, you didn't want to see little ortho and tell him they had failed in their mission, not yet... As you kept walking you heard how the ceremony started with that wedding march that was so famous, even you had dreamed of it once, but not like this, as you went your way at the door you found a ghost sobbing, what was he doing there? You wondered internally, after all most of the ghosts were at the ceremony very happy to see how their princess had finally found her beloved prince.
Would it be ok to ask him why he felt sad? Well, you don't have much to lose either, you sat next to him and turned your back on him while you played with the ring between your fingers, Grimm curled up in your legs, "hey, why are you crying?" you asked him in a soft voice, because even if he was a ghost you didn't want to scare him, he turned around and you immediately recognized him as the one eliza called" his best friend." "It's not in your interest," I answer bluntly while turning my back. "Wait, aren't you friends with the ghost bride? , why aren't you at the ceremony, I just started?" Despite his rude words that you wanted to hear, it's not that you wanted to come back to give the bad news that you probably already knew," I told you it's not your human affair," you sighed deeply when you responded by looking at the already dark sky," you know... If you are really her friend you should go with her and support her... Just don't be a coward like me... I should have tried to help my friends but I hid and here I am running away from problems... Running away from fighting for the person I love "you said while a tear came out of your cheek, those last words burst the attention of the ghost who turned to see you," I love her" confessed the ghost silently, you turned to see her "I have loved her since we lived, but I could never say anything and I have no time todo so, after all she only sees me as her friend ".
There was a long silence between you two, three if we told Grimm that he was listening in silence to everything, you decided to look at the time on a watch that had been lent to you to see how much time they had left, 15 minutes to finish the ceremony, something was clear, you had run out of time... And as if a ray of hope had illuminated you came up with an idea and maybe the last hope of all, you looked at the ghost "you know... It's too late to try to stop the wedding, but it's not too late to be the first to say congratulations, it's the least we can do for them "you said as you smiled at the ghost even though your eyes will still run into a couple of tears.
You got up from your place as you put Grimm next to you, walker made some flowers that were nearby and cut some, forming a beautiful bouquet that you tied with the ribbon in the shape of a bow that was part of your uniform, you could get another one but could not get another idia "you know it would be rude of us to introduce ourselves without a gift" the ghost stopped from his place and you climbed Grimm on your shoulders, he whispered to your ear "what do you plan to do?" You just gave him in response a bass "you'll see ".
The three were running towards the cafeteria or in this case the place where the wedding would take place and before they could arrive some ghosts blocked their way, at that moment you thought that all is lost but that friend of the princess spoke before you could even open your mouth "it's okay she comes with me" those ghosts who acted as guards judged you with their eyes and let you follow your step.
You were in front of the cafeteria door, well, it was now or never a sigh as you heard those words that put at risk any wedding "if anyone opposes this wedding let them speak now or shut up forever" and at that moment you slammed open the doors, on your left side was Grimm and on the right the ghost, everyone was silent, the poor bride was furious while idia had a face of relief. The ghosts were about to attack you but before it moved out of place you spoke "I'm sorry for that, I think a little rough on my part" the bride watched your movements from the altar, you just walked down the main hallway with your two hands holding that bouquet you just made a moment ago, and between your hands that were covered with beautiful flowers you held the ring "I introduce myself, I'm a friend of idia and I... Sorry I meant us" you said as you turned to see the ghost next to you '"we just wanted to be the first to say congratulations'"
The bride smiled pleased by your words, while idia's face lost all its brilliance "in fact I have brought you this gift" you said showing that bouquet of flowers you held in your hands, you walked until you were in front of the bride, your heart beat quickly, it was now or never, when you put your hands on the bouquet you would put the ring "don't worry they are not poisonous flowers" you said with a smile she just looked at them and gave you a big smile, you felt your heart heavy. But you had todo it or that repeated in your mind, "thank you very much, you are really very kind" she said with a smile as she gave you a little kiss on the forehead and as if everything was moving in slow motion you saw her hands approaching the bouquet, you had todo it but you just couldn't, you didn't want to hurt her but you didn't want to lose idia either, you didn't know what else todo and when her hands touched yours under the arrangement, you collapsed. Dropping the bouquet and holding the ring against your chest.
"I'm sorry, but I can't do it" you started crying on your knees in front of idia, your friends looked at the scene in amazement, well it's not that they could do much in their current state either, "forgive me idia I want to save you but... I don't want to hurt you with the ring "more tears and sobs came out of you, eliza just looked amazed like the rest of the ghosts, idia just knelt down beside you while hugging you," forgive me..." He gently pulled you away from the embrace, "don't cry, it's ok... Although I would have liked to be able to read that comic by your side "you looked at it with tearful eyes" I also wanted to read it by your side, and not only that, also talk and play video games together for longer, why me... I... I love you idia "you said as you sobbed, he was silent as he hugged you and in a soft voice said" I love you too "and those words left you a bittersweet taste, you knew I loved you but now he would marry a ghost.
Eliza looked at the two embracing, she remembered that horrible day when her dream and life ended, her friend had comforted her in the same way although it also cost her her life, it was true idia was her ideal prince but... She didn't want to take her sleep away from someone as the world had done with her, she felt bad and even though the human was about to harm her she repented, she could feel that her feelings between them were real, she looked at her best friend sadly "you know... This is not right "she had realized the damage she had done" once they took away that dream of marrying my prince in some future, and now I am doing the same with someone else "she reached out to the two, who turned to see her still embracing," there will be no wedding, I... I am sorry for all the problems caused by "turning to see the others present" not only to them... To all, to my fellow ghosts and to the students of this school."
"I wanted to find my true love, my ideal prince like in fairy tales and fall in love with him, but I don't think it can be that way, but you've got it," she said with a sincere smile that you gave back. "y /n, Please take good care of him now and in the future "just a sigh and I look at idia" I'm sorry for everything I made you go through "I look at the other ghosts" I think it's time to give up "he gave a sigh and by an act of pure impulse you took his hands between yours" don't do it, it may not be as you describe it, but... I know someone who may be your ideal prince."
You took her friend's hands with your right hand and joined them with hers, whispered to him "come on tell him" and so he took a big breath of air and said "eliza I... I have loved you all my life and not life "eliza looked at him in amazement and there she understood something, she did not need a perfect prince, she needed someone to love her, and with all her strength she cried" the wedding is resumed "everyone had happy looks.
Again the wedding started with only a slight change of bride and groom and there you were sitting next to idia watching the ceremony. "If anyone opposes this union speak now or shut up forever" no one said anything, "well declared them husband and wife, you can kiss the bride" and the two ghosts kissed, everyone celebrated with applause and congratulations.
"Congratulations," you said to eliza as she hugged her, you held no grudge nor did she hold you despite so many emotions that had happened just a few minutes ago maybe hours, "thank you." she said happily, "thank you for what?" You asked her in confusion, "why thanks to you I found my prince and will finally be able to rest in peace," she said with a smile as she turned her back and threw her bouquet which, coincidentally or not, fell into your hands. "I'm glad you could have your happy ending in the end," you said with a smile as you looked at idia who gave you a gentle, cute kiss just like the fluttering of a small butterfly.
And as if nothing had happened the boys could move again and the school returned to its normal state as if there had never been a wedding. It was clear that ortho was happy to have his older brother back while principal crowley was reassured that they would not damage the school's reputation.
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I hope you liked it and I'm sorry if the characters stayed as oc, but I still don't get used to writing to the twisted wonderland guys, I still couldn't get this out of my head.
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buzzdixonwriter · 4 years
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My Five Most Influential
Someone asked:   Who are the most influential writers in your life?
Good question.
The broad answer is that one gets influenced many different ways by many different sources.  I enjoy poetry and song lyrics because they find ways of conveying the strongest emotional content in the most concise manner, music brings a sense of dramatic rhythm and fulfillment, the visual arts suggest ways of subtly adding many insights to a single strong idea, etc., etc., and of course, etc. (and that is also an example of a creative influence in my work).
But…to boil it down to those whom I most consciously made an effort to emulate, we find ourselves facing five creators that primed the pump.
This is not to say others whom I began following after them didn’t wield a lot of influence (thanx, Ernie, Bert, Jack, Bob, and Hank!) but these are the foundation of everything I’ve done in my career.
(And to those who notice a lack of diversity, I know, I know…but to be honest I have to acknowledge the truth, and the truth is for whatever reason, by chance or by choice, by fate or by fortune, these five dominated my sensibilities.  I trust that I’ve grown and expanded my horizons since then, but they’re the hand I got dealt.)
. . . 
Carl Barks
I loved ducks as a kid and my grandmother and aunt would always bring me a passel of duck-related comics when they came to visit.
There were some Daffy Duck comics mixed in there but while I know I looked at and enjoyed them, none of them stick in my mind like the Donald Duck and Uncle Scrooge stories of Carl Barks.
Typically my grandmother would read these comics to me and I’d imprint the dialog and captions in my brain, replaying them as I looked at the pictures over and over again.
Barks never wrote down to his audience, and his stories covered a vast array of genres, everything from straight domestic comedy to oddball adventures to screwy crime stories.
Donald and his nephews encountered dinosaurs more than once (another big favorite of mine), and Uncle Scrooge setting out to explore the asteroid belt in order to find a new home for his fabulous money bin was another tale I loved literally to pieces, but A Christmas For Shacktown remains my all time favorite graphic novel.
I’ll concede there are better graphic novels, but none of them warm my heart the way that Christmas story does.
Barks showed it’s possible to combine heart (not to be confused with sentimentality or =yuch!= schmaltz), vivid characters, and strong, intricate narrative.  His plots where typically filled with unexpected twists and turns but his characters were always deeply involved in them, not just along for the ride.
He’s one of the greatest storytellers in the 20th century, and his work remains timeless enough to last for several centuries to come.
. . . 
Ray Bradbury
The first Ray Bradbury story I remember encountering was “Switch On The Night” in its 1955 edition, read to my kindergarten class towards the end of the school year.
This would place the event sometime in the spring of 1959.
“Switch On The Night” captivated me because it was the first story I’d ever heard that showed what could be seen in the dark that couldn’t be seen in the day.
Even as a child, it made me realize the night wasn’t scary, but contained wonders and insights we miss in the harsh glare of day.
I don’t recall if the kindergarten teacher told us the name of the author, and if she did it didn’t stick, but boy howdy, the story sure did!  Did it open the doors of the night for me, or was I already inclined to be a night person and it simply confirmed that as a valid identity?
I dunno, but I’m typing this right now at 12:24am.
And the thoughts Bradbury planted in little Buzzy boy’s brain stayed and grew and flowered, as you can read in my poem, “The Magic Hours Of The Night”.
The next time I encountered Ray Bradbury’s writing was in grammar school, certainly no later than junior high.  I was already interested in science fiction by that point, and had read “The Pedestrian” in one of my school English books (we weren’t taught the story in class; the teacher skipped over it for whatever reason but I read it anyway then re-read it and read it again and again).
Anthony Boucher’s ubiquitous 2-volume A Treasury Of Great Science Fiction was in my grammar school library and in it was Bradbury’s “Pillar Of Fire” (which I would later learn was one of his alternate Martian Chronicles and a crossover with Fahrenheit 451) and in that story he offered up a veritable laundry list of outré and outlandish fiction to be tracked down and read, authors to dig up and devour.
Oh, man, I was hooked.
So of course I began looking for all the stories and writers Bradbury listed in his short story but I also began looking for Bradbury’s own work and before you could say, “Mom, can I get a subscription to the Science Fiction Book Club?” I’d read The Golden Apples Of The Sun and A Medicine For Melancholy and R is For Rocket never once dreaming that at some point in the future the roadmap Ray plopped down in my lap would eventually lead to us being co-workers (separate projects, but the same studio at the same time) and friends.
There is a beautiful yet deceptive simplicity to Ray’s work, and even though he wrote his own book on writing (The Zen Of Writing) that has lots of good insights and professional tricks & tips, he himself wasn’t able to explain how he did it.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a good Ray Bradbury parody.
I’ve seen parodies that clearly are intended to evoke Ray Bradbury, but only in the same way a clumsy older relative might evoke Michael Jackson with a spasmodic movement one vaguely recognizes as a failed attempt at a moonwalk.
But, lordie, don’t think we didn’t try to emulate him, and while none of us fanboys ever came close, I think a lot of us did learn that less is more, that the right word carries more impact than a dozen paragraphs, and that there’s magic in even the most ordinary of things.
And of course I discovered the film and TV adaptations of his work, and in discovering them I also discovered that there are some things that just can’t be translated from one media to another, and that the light, effortless appeal of Ray’s work on the page (paper or pixel) can at best be recaptured with a good audio book reader but even the best dramatic adaptions -- even those by Ray himself -- are cold dead iron butterflies compared to the light and lively creatures flying about.
So eventually I stopped trying to write like him, and instead picked up the valuable lessons of mood and emotion making an impact on a story even if the plot didn’t make much logical sense.
Decades later I would become a fan of opera, and would learn the philosophy of all opera lovers:  Opera doesn’t have to make logical sense, it just has to make emotional sense.
Ray Bradbury, opera meister.
. . . 
H.P. Lovecraft
As noted above, Bradbury’s “Pillar Of Fire” tipped me to numerous other writers, first and foremost of which turned out to be Howard Phillips Lovecraft.
Okay, before we get any further into this, let’s acknowledge the woolly mammoth in the room:  H.P. Lovecraft was a colossal asshat racist.
He was a lot of other terrible things, too, but racist is far and ahead of the rest of the pack.
It’s a disillusioning thing to find people one admired as a youngster or a teen later prove to have not just quirks and eccentricities and personal flaws, but genuinely destructive, harmful, and offensive characters.
I’ve posted on that before, too.
How I wish it were possible to retroactively scale back that hurtfulness, to make them more empathetic, less egregiously offensive (in the military sense of the word), but that ain’t so.
We have to acknowledge evil when we see it, and we have to call it out, and we have to shun it.
Which is hard when one of its practitioners provides a major influence in our creative lives.
Here’s what I liked about Lovecraft as a kid:  He was the complete opposite of Ray Bradbury.
Bradbury’s instinctive genius was in finding the right word, the simple word that conveyed great impact on the story, drawing the reader into the most fantastic situations by making them seem more familiar on a visceral level.
Lovecraft achieved the exact opposite effect by finding the most arcane, bedizened, baroque, florid, grandiloquent, overwrought, rococo verbiage possible and slapping the reader repeatedly in the face with it.
If Bradbury made the unreal real, Lovecraft made the weird even more weirder.
And let’s give this devil his due:  The Strange Case Of Charles Dexter Ward and The Dunwich Horror are two masterpieces of horror and serve as the bridge between Edgar Allen Poe and Stephen King, not to mention his creation of Cthulhu and other ancient entities existing beyond the ken of human knowledge…
…oh, wait, that’s where the story simultaneously gets messy yet provides a convenient escape hatch for fans.
While Lovecraft created Cthulhu, he did not create the Cthulhu Mythos.
That was primarily the invention August Derleth, a writer / editor / agent and H.P. Lovecraft’s #1 fanboy.
Lovecraft had some loosely related ideas in his stories and several themes he revisited repeatedly (in addition to racism).
He also had a circle of fellow writers -- including such heavy hitters as Robert “Psycho” Bloch and Robert E. “Conan” Howard -- who picked up on his ideas and, as way of a tribute, incorporated them in some of their stories.
Derleth took all this and Lovecraft’s unfinished manuscripts and short ideas he jotted down and turned it into a whole post-mortem industry, linking all of Lovecraft and other writers’ tales.
And he did a damn fine job of it, too.
So much so that the Cthulhu Mythos has taken on a life of its own, and pretty much anybody can play in that cosmic sandbox now (including Big Steve King and a ton of Japanese anime) and so Lovecraft’s works have an enormous influence on pop culture…
,,,but Howard hizzowndamsef can be -- and is -- cancelled.
Derleth and various biographers downplayed Lovecraft’s virulent racism for decades, and I don’t think Ray Bradbury was ever aware of the scope and tenor of Lovecraft’s bigotry when he name checked him in “Pillar Of Fire” and other stories.
In a similar vein Bradbury didn’t know -- because thanks again to overly protective literary executors, nobody knew -- just how big a racist asshat Walt Whitman was, either.  It is one thing to call shenanigans on a Bill Cosby or a Harvey Weinstein or a Donald Trump because their egregious behaviors were noted long before they were held accountable, but quite another to do so on a creator who died while hiding their most awful behavior from thousands if not millions of fans who felt inspired and uplifted by their work.
It’s one thing to call out a contemporary bigot and not support them by not buying their work, it’s quite another when their bigotry has been shielded from view and fair minded, decent people have used their work to draw inspiration into their own creativity.
Of course, I had no way of knowing all this when I was in junior high and seriously began tracking down Lovecraft’s work.  
He possessed a flair of the horrific and unearthly that to this day is hard to match (but easier to parody).  He was a tremendous influence on my early writing (truth be told, I zigzagged between Bradbury’s stark simplicity and Lovecraft’s overarching verbosity, giving my early oeuvre a rather schizophrenic style) and the ideas he sparked still reverberate to this day.
If only he hadn’t been such a giant %#@&ing asshat racist …
. . . 
Harlan Ellison
In a way, I’m glad neither Harlan nor his widow Susan are alive to read this.
I cherished Harlan as a friend and greatly admired his qualities as a writer.
But damn, by his own admission he should have been thrown in prison for aggravated assault on numerous occasions (he was courts martialed three times while in the Army).
We’re not talking about arguments that spiraled out of control until a few wild punches were thrown, we’re talking about Harlan by his own admission stalking and ambushing people, knocking them unconscious or causing grievous bodily harm.
We’re talking about sexual abuse and humiliation.
We’re talking about incidents he admitted to which if true put people in life threatening situations.
And yet ironically, in a certain sense Harlan (a bona fide Army Ranger, BTW) was like the U.S. Marine Corps:  You’d never have a greater friend or a worse enemy.
I became dimly aware of Harlan in the late 1960s as I started diving deeper into literary sci-fi, transitioning from monster kid fandom to digests and paperbacks.  Harlan first caught my attention with his macho prose (years later a similar style also drew me to Charles Bukowski) in stories like “Along the Scenic Route” (a.k.a. “Dogfight on 101”) in which Los Angelinos engaged in Mad Max motor mayhem but soon it became apparent the macho posturing was just a patina, that the heart and soul of much of the work reflected great sensitivity and often profound melancholy (ditto Bukowski).
Harlan was a fighter, and again by his own admission, he acknowledged in his later years that he was not a fighter because his cause was just, but rather sought out just causes because he knew he would be fighting regardless of his position, yet possessed a strong enough moral compass to point himself in the direction of a worthy enemy…
…most of the time.
He hurt and offended a large number of innocent and some not-so-innocent-but-certainly-not-evil people.
He also helped and encouraged a large number of others, people who had no idea who he was, people who had no way of adequately reciprocating his kindness and generosity.
He defended a lot of defenseless people.
He also mistakenly defended a lot of terrible people.
If someone tells me Harlan was a monster, I’ll agree:  Monstre sacré.
What made his writing sacred was that no matter how outlandish the situation, Harlan dredged up from the depths emotions so strong as to be frightening in their depiction.
Skilled enough not to lose sight of humanity, outlandish enough to conjure up ideas and emotions most people would shy away from, Harlan hit adolescent Buzzy boy like an incendiary grenade.
Unlike my first three literary influences, Harlan was and remained active in the fannish circles where I was circulating at the time.  He regularly wrote letters and columns for various fanzines, including a few I subscribed to.
In a literary sense he stood, naked and unashamed, in full view of the world, and that willingness to go beyond mundane sensibilities is what made his work so compelling.
He certainly fired me up as an adolescent writer, and proved an amalgam of Bradbury and Lovecraft that got my creative juices flowing in a coherent direction.
I don’t think I ever consciously tried to imitate him in my writing, but I sure learned from him, both in how to charge a story with emotion and how to fight for what’s right regardless of the blow back.
I loved him as a friend.
But, damn, Harlan…you could act so ugly...
. . .
H. Allen Smith
Who?
Most of you have never heard of H. Allen Smith, and that’s a damn shame.
I’d never heard of him either until I stumbled across a coverless remaindered copy of Poor H. Allen Smith’s Almanac in a Dollar General Store bin in Tennessee in the late 1960s (it was a memorable shopping expedition:  I also purchased Thomas Heggen’s Mister Roberts and Let’s Kill Uncle by Rohan O'Grady [pen name of June Margaret O'Grady Skinner]).
Reading Smith’s editorial comments (in addition to his own essays and fiction he edited numerous humor anthologies) I realized I’d found a kindred soul.
Smith had a very conversational tone as a writer; his prose seemed off the cuff and unstructured, but he slyly used that style to hide the very peculiar (and often perverse) path he led readers down.
He sounded / read like a garrulous guy at the bar, one with a huge number of charming, witty (and delightfully inebriated) friends in addition to his own bottomless well of tall tales, pointed observations, and rude jokes.
Of all the writers mentioned above, that style is the one I most consciously tried to emulate, and one I seem to have been able to find my own voice in (several people have told me I write the same way I talk, a rarity among writers).
Smith was hilarious whether wearing an editor’s visor or a freelancer’s fool’s cap.  If you know who H. L. Mencken was, think of Smith as a benign, better tempered version of that infamous curmudgeon (and if you don’t know, hie thee hence to Google and find out).
Compared to my other four influences, Smith didn’t need to add the fantastic to his fiction:  The real world was weird and wacky and whimsical enough.
A newspaper man turned best selling author, Smith became among the most popular humorists of the 1940s-50s-60s…
…and then he died and everybody forgot him.
Part of the reason they forgot is that he wrote about things that no longer seem relevant (TV cowboys of the early television era, f’r instance, in Mr. Zip) or are today looked upon askance (and with justifiable reason; the ethnic humor in many of his anthologies may not have been intended as mean spirited, but it sure doesn’t read as a celebration of other cultures, viz his succinct account of an argument following a traffic accident between two native Honolulu cabbies rendered in pidgin:  “Wassamatta you?”  “’Wassmatta me’?!?!?  Wassamatta you ‘Wassamatta me’?  You wassamatta!”).
I’m sure I picked up a great many faults from Smith, but Smith also had the virtue of being willing and able to learn and to make an effort to be a better person today than he was yesterday, and better still tomorrow.
I’ve certainly tried applying that to my life.
Smith’s style was also invoked -- consciously or not -- by other writers and editors, notably Richard E. Geis, the editor of the legendary sci-fi semi-prozone, Science Fiction Review (among other titles).  Smith died before I could meet him, but while I never met Dick Geis face to face we were pen pals for over 40 years.
Geis certainly sharpened specific aspects of my writing style, but the real underlying structure came from H. Allen Smith.
Smith’s work is hard to find today (in no small part because whenever I encounter one in the wild I snap it up) but I urge you to give him a try.
Just brace yourself for things we might consider incorrect today.
. . . 
So there’s my top five. 
With the exception of Carl Barks and Ray Bradbury, none of them are without serious flaw or blemish (though Smith seems like a decent enough sort despite his fondness for X-rated and ethnic humor).
In my defense as an impressionable child / teen, I was not aware of these flaws and blemishes when I first encountered their writing (primarily because in many cases efforts were made to hide or downplay those aspects).
The positive things I gleaned from them are not negated by the negative personal information that came out later.
I can, for the most part re the more problematic of them, appreciate their work while not endorsing their behavior.
Ellison can only be described in extremes, but his fire and passion -- when directed in a positive direction -- served as a torch to light new paths (his two original anthologies, Dangerous Visions and Again, Dangerous Visions, pretty much blew the doors off old school sci-fi and belatedly dragged the genre kicking and screaming into the 20th century).
Lovecraft I can effectively ignore while finding entertainment value in the Cthulhu Mythos.
But I must acknowledge this isn’t the same for everyone.
For example, as innocuous as I find H. Allen Smith, if a woman or a member of a minority group said, “I found this in particular to be offensive” I’d probably have to say, yeah, you’re right.
But I can still admire the way he did it, even if I can no longer fully support what he did.
. . . 
By the time I reached high school, I’d acquired enough savvy to regard to literary finds a bit more dispassionately, appreciating what they did without trying to literally absorb it into my own writing.
I discovered for myself the Beat generation of writers and poets, the underground cartoonists of the late 60s and 70s, Ken Kesey, Joseph Heller, Philip K. Dick, Ursula K. LeGuin, and a host of others, some already alluded to.
Some, such as the Beats and Bukowski, I could enjoy for their warts and all honest self-reflection.
Yes, they were terrible people, but they knew they were terrible people, and they also knew there had to be something better, and while they may never have found the nirvana they sought, they at least sent back accurate reports of where they were in their journeys of exploration.
By my late teens, I’d become aware enough of human foibles and weaknesses -- every human’s foibles and weaknesses, including my own -- to be very, very cautious in regarding an individual as admirable.
While I will never accept creativity as an excuse for bad behavior, if a creator is honest enough and self-introspective enough to recognize and acknowledge their own failings, it goes a long way towards my being willing to enjoy their work without feeling I’m endorsing them as individuals.
It’s not my place to pass judgment or exoneration on others bad behavior.
It is my place to see that I don’t emulate others’ bad behavior.
Every creator is connected to their art, even if it’s by-the-numbers for-hire hack work.
Every creator puts something of themselves into the final product.
And every member of the audience must decide for themselves if that renders the final product too toxic to be enjoyed. 
    © Buzz Dixon
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kyndaris · 4 years
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Date with Destiny (with a Capital D)
When I watched the announcement at E3 about Final Fantasy VII Remake, I was terribly excited. Though the Final Fantasy series has been one of my favourites since I first played Final Fantasy X, I have never actually played the original Final Fantasy VII.Instead, I read everything I could find and watched walkthroughs (including Dirge of Cerberus) as well as the film: Advent Children and Advent Children Complete. When Crisis Core released on PlayStation Portable (PSP), I also bought that to immerse myself in the entirety of the Final Fantasy VII universe. And when I told one of my close friends, Bleachpanda, about it, they were surprised that I had never played the original. But while I could have purchased the re-release on the PlayStation 4, I wanted to see the game that had captured the imagination of so many people in high definition quality.
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As most people in Australia know, the game released a whole nine days earlier than it was supposed to: on 1st of April. After I had mistakenly taken the express train, I was perusing my messages and saw my friend post her excitement that Final Fantasy VII Remake was out. Immediately, I used my situation to my advantage and went to buy the game - despite the fact that I had no facial mask and was entering a shopping centre with a possible high risk of infection. After sweating up a storm by rushing to all the stores, I finally had the copy in hand. 
However, it would not be until I had finished Yakuza 4 that I could begin my journey with Cloud and the Avalanche team. Suffice it to say, I was incredibly excited. From the score to Cloud’s lovely cheekbones. In fact, I could not believe my good fortune that I was actually playing the game. It didn’t seem real that I would have in my hands despite the ongoing pandemic. From there, my hype built as I defeated the Scorpion sentinel and moved on to the Seventh Heaven. When Tifa’s theme sounded, I had to resist the urge to shed a tear. 
I might not have played the original, but gosh darn it, I loved the characters as much as any fan.
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Even the little details were so exciting to see. Though there were several changes to the game, it was clear that the developers loved the game as much as its fans did. I liked how Cloud and the gang kept their victory poses for when they were in the Coliseum. The up-scaled Church, the bar, Wall Market and Aerith’s house. Learning more about many of the side characters also helped build a solid connection to them. From Jessie’s tragic backstory of her dad collapsing in Mako storage in her debut as the role of Princess at the Golden Saucer (goodness me, if she knew about the shenanigans of Cloud and the rest of the party, she’d probably throw a fit), to Bigg’s contribution to the Sector 5 orphanage. This even extended to the differences in Tifa’s and Aerith’s cleavage sizes. Not that I was paying particular attention...
Okay, maybe a little. But I’m glad that they also gave appropriate footwear and gear for the characters. 
But my goodness, that pull-up challenge took me fifty minutes! It wasn’t even in the original! And the trophy did not feel worth it after how difficult Jules was. Never again! 
Then the characters also called me out for going in the wrong direction. I’m not! I’m trying to explore every nook and cranny of this world Square-Enix has bequeathed us and to find as many items as I can find! 
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The combat, though, was the one that had the most changes. Gone is the turn-based battle system. While players can play on classic, according to my friend Bleachpanda, it was less than exciting. Particularly when the AI just stood around guarding most of the time. As for me, I played on Normal Mode. The battle mechanics felt like they used bits and pieces from other games: such as Final Fantasy XV and Final Fantasy XIII. It also incorporated elements of the original Active Time Battle system, but I found it frustrating that all of my more powerful abilities, and even items, were gated behind a slowly rising bar - particularly for the AI-controlled party members. Of course, Final Fantasy VII Remake also allowed players to switch between members and I found I had to do this on a fairly regular basis depending on the battle. 
Also, your ATB abilities, spells and item usages could also be interrupted. This proved particularly frustrating in difficult battles where I was hoping to take advantage of an enemy’s weakness, only to be batted to the side because of an air attack.
It also felt, on numerous fights, that I had to think of these battles less like a turn-based battle and more like an action adventure, hack and slash. Instead of just absorbing spells and attacks, I needed to evade and guard. This was clearly evident in several solo battles with Roche and even Rufus Shinra. I had to read attack patterns, avoid some of their deadly moves and strike when they had an opening. All the while, trying to keep my ATB gauge up and ready for some quick healing or spell casting. 
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Let’s move on now to the characters and the story. But where to begin? How about the ending that proved incredibly divisive among many fans. My friend, Bleachpanda, was sorely disappointed by the presence of the Whispers and how the last two chapters transpired. She, unlike me, had been banking on nostalgia to pull her and was more excited to seeing the original recreated in perfect high definition. If you read her posts on Final Fantasy VII Remake you will learn that she was mightily disappointed that how Cloud manages to obtain his dress was very different (although she probably still liked our ex-Soldier shaking his tush on stage. Heck, I think everyone was channelling Aerith and shouting at our screens for Cloud to work it). 
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The whole talk of destiny and changing fate, though, probably left many fearing that the rest of the Final Fantasy VII Remake would be a very different beast from their childhoods. What with talk about alternate timelines and the possibility of time travel. As well as that last parting shot of Zack Fair. In fact, there are plenty of videos on YouTube that try to explain the ending. 
Now, I profess, time travel has always sat ill with me. And Square-Enix has not always used it well. The first Bravely Default comes to mind as does Kingdom Hearts 3 and the time loops of Type-0. Or even what they tried to do with the Final Fantasy XIII franchise. All those retcons in FFXIII-2 made me wonder if it was all worth it. Lightning’s character development in the first game was all but forgotten and rehashed over Lightning Returns. Still, as this was mostly penned by the original writer (though people will still blame Nomura), I feel like much of the motivations and several story beats will remain the same. The settings will also not change and I am eager to see Cosmo Canyon, Nibelheim, Junon and so many other places.
In saying that, though, I’m not sure if Aerith will die. Or if she does, whether it will have the same shocking effect that it did in the original. Of course, by now, everyone and their mothers know what to expect and perhaps this was a way for Square Enix to keep players on their toes. What about Cloud falling into the Lifestream and Tifa trying to sort out his memories from the false persona he created? The slap fight between Tifa and Scarlet? My friend, Bleachpanda, just wants to see Professor Hojo surrounded by girls that are trying to flirt with him. Who knows. It might happen. Or it might not. Hence why so many are terrified at the direction of the new games.
The rest of the narrative, however, proved just as exciting with a few little additions along the way. Sephiroth appearing, though, in the second chapter threw me for a loop, even though I appreciated the foreshadowing. Chapter 4 was all devoted to learning and bonding more with the other members of Avalanche. I very much liked their expanded roles, although casting Gideon Emery as Biggs was a bit of a distraction as I could clearly hear his Balthier trying to break through, particularly in the earlier scenes. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Balthier. And Biggs is quite good looking himself.
This whole Midgar portion of the game also remained mostly faithful to the original Final Fantasy VII and its timeline. It also made things a little more realistic and showed fans of the original, more sides of the characters they had come to love. Also, I like that despite the love triangle being set up between Cloud, Tifa and Aerith, there was a strong sense of camaraderie among the girls. They lifted each other up rather than tear each other down. Even Jessie was trying to get in on the action with all the flirting she did. In fact, I just wanted to ship Aerith and Tifa for the long haul. 
What I also thought cute was the little swear the left Aerith’s lips when the ladder fell and Cloud had to help lift her up. It was also comical to see Cloud try to pull his Buster Sword out when confronted by one of the other Sephiroth clones and having it catch on the door jam. 
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Barret, on the other hand, was a little preachy in the first few chapters. There can be no denying his love for Marlene, but it grated on me how much exposition he provided on the train ride back to Sector 7. Still, once we finally get into the meat of the games, I would love to see all their backstories, cry when appropriate and cheer for them when they finally emerge victorious. 
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I also liked many of the environmental story telling. Particularly in Chapter 2 and seeing the aftermath of what Avalanche’s actions had done. Granted, Heidegger and President Shinra had a hand in it, but it was clear that Jessie and many others were devastated by the damage they had wrought. It was also gut-wrenching to see the remains of Sector 7 after the plate fell. Reeve, in the form of Cait Sith, tried and failed to save the people and even though he was controlling an animatronic cat, you could still see his devastation.
Overall, I have to say that I enjoyed my time with Final Fantasy VII Remake. By the time the game ended, I felt a little bereft, wanting to see more of each character and really dive down deep into their psych. Just like before, Tifa is much more reticent and closed off. It warmed my heart that in Hojo’s lab, Aerith asked Tifa if she was okay. As someone who is also similarly guarded, it’s good to know that someone else cares. Red XIII was also a great addition in the last two chapters, though it was a shame we could not play as him. 
The ending might have left a sour taste in the mouths of many, but I know that I, for one, am eager to see where the unknown journey takes us next and seeing old familiar faces. We still have Cid, Yuffie and Vincent to find! Also, Marlene is so cute and precious and must be protected at all costs.
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cosmiciaria · 5 years
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In defense of Final Fantasy XIII-2 (long post - mild spoilers ahead!)
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Disclaimer: Sorry for the pics bad quality. I don't own a ps3, my friend lent me one, and I don't really know how to take screenshots, so I did my best to make my photos look visible.  Just don't mind them much.
SO, I'll start by saying that this game IS BAD and it's part of a badly executed and hated trilogy. To be honest, I don't appreciate Final Fantasy XIII much: the first time I played it I was blinded by (light – sorry pun) the visuals and the crystals and everything was shining and whatever. But then I replayed it, and started seeing all the things people were complaining about. As I skipped some scenes to make my second playthrough smoother and faster, I noticed one thing: I was bored. I wasn't enjoying the gameplay, I didn't understand the story in its entirety even if it was my second time playing it. It was one of the first videogames I played in English (hello from Argentina) so I thought that maybe my limitations with the language were dampening my experience, but I asked a friend about the plot and she told me she didn't understand it either.
At any rate, I only played FFXIII because I wanted to play FFXIII-2. I didn't know why, or what, but something in the sequel (cof cof Noel cof) gave me the urge to try and see it for myself. Like I mentioned before, I don't own a ps3, so I had to wait until in 2015 they released the PC ports. I was so happy with this, that I decided to complete the game 100% and see everything it had to offer.
And it has so much to offer! Yes, I won't deny it, the plot is all over the place, and this is where the trilogy goes to hell with its story. But, let's just say we are all aboard the suspension of disbelief train – if we do it, we'll find there's a great story behind all the time gates.
What I enjoyed the most about this sequel was the characters. In XIII I spent HOURS complaining about how annoying everyone was (except for Fang, she's perfect). I couldn't relate to or stand anyone: Lightning became obnoxious with her monotone, Hope was a crybaby with a pretentious revenge plot that didn't work out well, Sahz is just kinda there not contributing anything to the plot, Vanille just has that oh-please-kill-me squeaky voice and Snow is… I hate Snow. I just hate him. The little fondness I have for him stems from my love for Troy Baker's performances, but oh my Etro, Snow is just like a shonen hero in the body of a 21-year-old man. It's just not right, it defies the laws of anime and videogames. Please eradicate him. I hate Square Enix for creating a character like him and forcing me to play as him and use him as a Sentinel because he's just that good in that role, damn him!
But in FFXIII-2? Suddenly, I found myself rooting for Noel and Serah. We get to learn about Noel's backstory, his sad present, his depressing lifestyle. The inexorability of his tale, the imminence of his decaying world. And he becomes such an endearing partner! He's always there to catch Serah if she falls, he's always asking her if she's feeling well. He's proficient, he's efficient, and he's not complaining about stupid stuff. He even doesn't want to talk about his past because he doesn't want to bother Serah – PLEASE Hope just learn something from this man!
And what about Serah? She's not the best character, I give it to you, but she goes from damsel in distress to a badass time traveler in a blink of an eye, and I can certainly get behind that! She's selfless, she faces everything head on, even though she's scared. Her journey began with the search of her sister, but slowly she found herself surrounded by things she couldn't quite comprehend, only to learn that she was more entangled with the fate of the world than she'd anticipated.
And if you do some optional stuff, you can learn things about Mog as well – not only his features are useful (and funny), but he's also the comic relief, adding extra spice to some of the conversations. His exaggerated expressions and his cute voice make up for a good companion.
And I cannot NOT mention Caius (Liam O'Brien I stan). Say whatever about him, but I love his characterization. He's well made. Yes, he wants the same as countless others villains from the FF franchise, but this time I can understand his motives. I feel pity for him. I want to help him. He's cursed beyond redemption. And he's got the best theme song ever.
I can understand these characters. The game spends enough time on everyone so we can learn to care for them, they show us how their relationship nurtures, their dynamics. And I care! This is something XIII-2 made right and XIII did not: I don't care about Lightning, or Hope, or Snow, but I do care that Noel and Serah succeed in their task. I don't care about Barthandelus or the Pulse Fal'Cie, but I do care about Caius getting what he wants. XIII had so many characters but spent too little time in developing (properly, at least) their strengths and weaknesses, but most of all, their relationships. The only real relationship that feels genuine is the one between Fang and Vanille, but that's because they know each other from before the events of the game; whereas the rest of the team feels like… badly placed pieces of puzzle trying to fit.
I know you're gonna say, hey, other FF put together characters that had nothing to do and it worked (yeah, I can mention FFXII and to a certain extent, because Penelo and Vaan were just there for the lulz I guess). In XIII it just didn't work for me: I couldn't root for any of them, and when the game was finished, I was kinda relieved.
That doesn't happen in XIII-2. Maybe they got it, maybe it was out of luck, I don't know, but characters here are better fleshed out, and we can learn to care and root for them, so we want to see it through to the end by their side.
That's just one thing that XIII-2 did better.
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Gameplay was enhanced: now it's faster, more strategic, it doesn't bullshit you like when the leader died in XIII. I'm not going to delve deeper into the Pokémon thing, but yes, you can catch them all, and it adds a lot to the stakes because there's one more thing to gain besides the battle: the monster you're fighting. The game added so many features, it blows me away: the time travelling, opening new paths, closing some; the fragments, which give you experience points and insights in some of the lore; the fragment skills, additional things you can earn or do if certain requirements are met; the f*cking casino that has chocobo races, something that was lacking in the previous game; you can add ADORNMENTS to the monsters you tame to get the ultimate fashion experience. I don't know, there's so much to do, too many timelines to visit. There are too many sidequests, but all of them are linked to the main plot, so you feel like you're still learning things from the main story. Yes, I know, they reuse the same map over and over (Yaschas Massif and Oerba, I'm looking at you), but they compensate with some brand new maps, like Academia 4XX AF which must be my favorite location, so full of life and futuristic style, and the Archylte Steppe, with its weather changing feature.
Sometimes the lack of gameplay slaps you in the face but in the good sense, for instance in Academia 400 AF, where you have a forced battle every two seconds. The sense of urgency and danger is well conveyed through the use of random encounters with enemies. Or when you visit the Void Beyond with Serah, that you're alone, and you have a ghastly Mog following you around, with some of his features blocked. They used everything they had at their disposal, and they used it well. Gone are the days with the endless hallway that we complained so much about in XIII (as if FFX wasn't linear as hell too, but we don't complain about that one – don't dare because it's my favorite FF I warn you): now you can choose how to play, when to play, face that monster or go for an alternative ending. They listened to our whining and gave us this sequel, yes, that nobody asked for, but yet, they did.
There's a huge world-building surrounding all the time travelling thing: in the future, time travel becomes something of an everyday topic, so when you walk around in Academia 4XX you can hear kids playing "let's go and destroy those evil paradox monsters". They built a world around the idea that you can time travel, and that's how Hope gets to live and see every era, monitoring his work that will take centuries to be fulfilled. This is how we should take the time travel in this game, not as doomsday-serious as in Terminator or Back to the Future, but with a more light-hearted approach. I think that's what they tried to do, and it works well that way.
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However light-hearted this game tries to be, it has some sad and depressing bits, mostly around Noel and his way of life. Whenever his theme song kicks-in, you can understand all his character without a word. And that takes me to another thing this game excels at: soundtrack. Now, I won't say it's better than XIII, because the first game has some awesome music as well, but I'll be damned if I don't give enough credit to this game's songs. Yeul's Theme, Noel's Theme, Wishes – you learn everything of these characters by just listening to these beautiful vocals. And I also love that the music took risks, like the Crazy Chocobo theme – I swear that thing is both the best and worst thing out of this game.
Confession time: I can't stop shipping Serah and Noel. I'm just so angry that Snow exists because it forbids this ship in the canon. I have one major complain about it, though: I can't help but notice that both Caius and Noel are infatuated by a fifteen-year-old. I can't discern how much of it is "loyalty beyond boundaries" or "I love her, I truly love her, like I'm in love with her" kind of love, but still, it bugs me a bit. Caius and Yeul's relationship feels more natural, given that he's her guardian, and he acts upon this role the whole game, until the end, where Noel clearly states that Yeul always came back because she wanted to stay by Caius's side. So it leaves me wondering. And Lightning Returns pretty much confirmed to us that Noel was in love with Yeul, which of COURSE I don't LIKE at ALL but I'll roll with it. I'm just glad that we got XIII-2 ending where Jason Marsden's voice breaks when he yells Serah's name. They gave me enough content for a thousand fics. Let's pretend that Noel's attitude in LR doesn't happen, ok?
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You can hate this game. I can't blame you for it. Nobody wanted it, it doesn't connect well to its predecessor unless you read two novellas, and it forcefully leads us to Lightning Returns where, I can safely say, the plot goes to hell, almost literally. But this game exists, and it doesn't deserve half the hate it receives. If you play it it's because you enjoyed XIII (I highly doubt that you'll make yourself go through this suffering if you didn't like the first one – if you do, I just don't know why you hate yourself so much), and if you did, there's no way you're not going to see all the good things they added in this one. Enjoy it for what it is, and not for what it's not, or for what it could've been.
I sometimes wonder what could've happened if this game didn't have "Final Fantasy" on its cover. Because the time travel is intelligent and fun to play, the world-building around the Farseers and this bleak future is interesting and well made – the problem with this game is that it's a Final Fantasy and that it's a sequel to an already quite finished story. It feels like they forced a sequel, and maybe they did. But I, for once, am glad they did.
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ryanmeft · 5 years
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MCU Phases 4 and 5 Wishlist
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Last night at San Diego Comic Con, Marvel dropped their pants and coated the audience in a thick, rich layer of big-and-small screen announcements. Briefly recapped: across Phases 4 or 5 (not that that means anything), we’re getting Black Widow, The Eternals, Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, Thor: Love and Thunder, Black Panther 2, Captain Marvel 2, the Fantastic Four and Blade. On the streaming front, the previously announced series were all confirmed, and in a move most probably didn’t see coming, Marvel added a series based on their often bizarre What if? Series, which speculates on what might have happened had some element of continuity gone a different way (and which has become a bit moot in the comics in an era where continuity is gleefully mixed and nixed whenever an editor wants a sales boost).
As folks might be aware, I’m not a huge fan of Disney, skipping almost all their movies, but I have a severe weakness for the MCU. There’s a lot of wish lists going around as to what we want to happen in these movies and series, but as you know if you’ve read my blog before, the correct answers are mine. Since you can rest assured these answers are the best, I graciously share them with you now. Remember, I’m never wrong.
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Mjolnir Gets Retired
I am totally down with Natalie Portman’s Jane Foster as the God of Thunder. There will be those who call to give her the same powers and weapons Thor had, but why would we want to do that? In the comics, she’s still Jane Foster while Thor is still Thor, and with Chris Hemsworth also in the film, there’s no reason to think that won’t be the case here. Instead of simply “Female Thor”, she needs her own set of traits and skills. Start with giving her a new weapon; a magical spear would be just right. Mjolnir got its greatest moment of glory in Endgame, and from a sheer story perspective, it is time to retire the venerated hammer.
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Rebellion in Wakanda
I’m going to be in the minority on this, but: the Dora Milaje have gotten shafted in the MCU thus far. In the best of the comics, they are the king’s guard, but they are also a group of women with independent minds and goals who don’t always agree with the king. In fact, members have rebelled several times. In the movies to date, they exist to devote total fealty to T’Challa, never once seriously questioning anything he does. This is a terrible fate to befall an actor with Danai Gurira’s fire. Instead of existing merely to poke holes in things on behalf of a (male) ruler, it’s time these ass-kicking ladies got to play a more important, and complex, role.
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Christoph Waltz as Doom
This idea isn’t mine, but was passed on by a friend who is clearly brilliant. There’s not much to say about this one: the actor who made his reputation playing two very different roles in Quenton Tarantino films is the perfect choice for the literally tin-plated dictator. As for the rest of the cast, Keanu Reeves is the favorite for Reed, but I have another idea in mind for him...
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The Master of Time
That said: it’s about time to get Kang involved in this universe. When it became obvious that Endgame was going to involve time travel, I slapped together what I thought was a pretty good post-credits tease that would introduce both him and the Fantastic Four side of the universe. Obviously, nothing like that happened, and there were no Avengers movies or mass team-ups of any kind announced at SDCC. Yet with time travel established, the potential to bring in this reality-warping mega-baddie is always there.
Don’t Undo Iron Man 3
Yes, fans are shooting their shorts over the fact that the real Mandarin will be the villain of the Shang-Chi movie. But those of us who don’t rub the comics on ourselves regularly recognize the truth: Iron Man 3 had a great twist that was one of the few truly creative decisions in a modern blockbuster, and it would be a shame to overturn on the whim of a handful of hardliners. Have a “real” Mandarin, but keep Ben Kingsley’s washed-up, hedonistic actor on the books. Maybe even give him a cameo.
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Unrelenting Nightmare
Director Scott Derickson has already said he wants to use Nightmare, a being who feeds off his namesake, in the Doctor Strange sequel, and given that it is apparently multiverse-focused (and that Strange has few interesting villains), this is probably a given. Marvel has been after Keanu Reeves for a long time; most people seem to want him for Reed Richards, but may I humbly suggest we go against the hype and cast him as a dimension-devouring trickster deity instead? As a side note, please, please follow up on Chiwetel Ejiofor’s Baron Mordo. He was the best part of the first film, and it’d be a shame to let him trail off into the ether.
Take Some Risks in Captain Marvel
Captain Marvel was fun. It was not the kind of movie that took risks, however, or blew anyone away, despite amazing box office numbers. CM will be an idol for little girls; it’s time to think outside the box, utilize the oddness of Marvel’s galactic properties, and make her next movie one that can rival the time-hopping chances DC has taken with Wonder Woman. Brie Larson needs more to do than pose heroically and hit things.
Where’s Spider-Man?
More of a question answered than a wish: a lot of people are freaking out because Spider-Man was not mentioned last night, despite a post-credits tease that’s impossible to ignore. Relax: the deal between Marvel and Sony likely just means Sony has to finalize plans and sign off on the next film before Marvel can announce it. Far From Home cracked 800 million at the box office, and the refurbishing of Spidey’s tarnished reputation by Marvel is one big reason Sony’s own dull, uninspired Venom series is now a viable money-maker. It would be the height of stupidity for Sony to pull out of the deal now; expect Spider-Man: Homeboy or whatever it is called to be announced for 2021 before much time passes.
Make What If? Truly Bizarre
As a series, What If? wasn’t always great, but it was always interesting. There are some obvious concepts they could include in the series, and probably on the top of most people’s lists is “What If Iron Man had survived Endgame?” Old Man Tony would be absolutely delicious, but we can get stranger than that. This series should be a chance to explore concepts that would never fly in a massive, internationally-marketed blockbuster movie. Think stuff like “What If Loki had been Thor?” or “What If Peggy Carter had been Captain America?” Get wild up in this.
Make Loki a Reverse Doctor Who
Loki became a far less evil, far more complex character by the time he was dispatched in Infinity War. The Loki that will star in the series, however, is the one from Avengers, before all that character development. Audiences didn’t truly and completely fall in love with him until he went from evil god of chaos to a more ambivalent trickster figure, so pulling off sympathy for this older Loki across an entire series will be difficult. The obvious answer is to make him a sort of reverse Doctor: instead of an eternally-helpful alien who influences everyone he meets for the better, he’s an alien out for himself who is gradually influenced by those he meets to be (a little) better.
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lalalizzy16fitness · 4 years
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Halloween movies; most don’t survive. Don’t get caught; STAY, ALIVE!
Best time of the year, best time of year to die. Bet. We all know there can be only one (one that survives anyway), let’s make that you. If you’re like me, sometimes the best part is screaming at the screen “Look behind you!” or “Don’t touch that, idiot!” or my personal favorite, “DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT COULD KILL HIM!?” When you are on the outside looking in (although I personally feel I am an expert and would easily survive a 2000’s slasher film) it seems pretty simple to outsmart the killer/demon/thing that just wants horny teenagers to die. But when you’re being chased by a chainsaw connected to a 7ft tall behemoth wearing your friends face for a mask, there are certain things that may slip your mind. So, that being said, in the spirit of the spookiest time of year, here are some rules (you can tattoo them to your forearm for future reference if you are really worried) to guarantee you are the allocated single horny teenager that escapes (barely, and gravely injured), alive.
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Listen To the Kid / Old Lady
The wisdom of children and the elderly is questioned more often than any other age group, so it makes sense that in horror movies they reveal the truth of the situation first (often within the first 15 minutes of the film). The child usually ends up being the protagonist or close to them, while the elderly usually act as a prophetic warning. Naturally, neither is heeded by the other characters, paying for it rather quickly. Stay a step ahead of the enemy; (children are stupid and eat glue) but if you are in a 90s horror film listen to the kid or the old lady.
Don’t Sneak Up On Your Friends
Horror movies are often populated with irritating (and expendable) characters that make it very hard to sympathize with them, and part of this is the obnoxious way in which they like to make their presence know. EVERY horror film has that scene where the friend suddenly slaps their hand on the jumpy pals shoulder, scaring the pee out of them. Who actually does that? Honestly? Then acts surprised that their friend jumps or screams. Monsters don’t like imitators.
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ALWAYS ASSUME THE MONSTER ISNT DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!
Near the end of every horror movie, the remaining character(s) finally defeat the monster. They pat themselves on the back in sweet relief; all the while the audience knows (biting their nails, waiting for the jump scare), the monster is in fact (surprise!) NOT dead. It comes back to life for one last scare. The menacing monster rises back into the menacing frame menacingly. The characters are surprised, oh no! They are forced to continue fighting back, only to “kill” it once again (often times in the most gruesome way so far in the film). Many characters will go so far as to stick their face into the monsters and start poking it, just to assure it is finally back in whatever hell it came from. The monster is largely of course unharmed, a simple headshot would end it all (unless you are dealing with a demon or an apparition upon which a ritual of some sort is appropriate), but for some unexplained teenage horny reason the assumption is its dead. They either leave STAT. Or the most annoying ones of all slump to the ground, gasping for air while the monster rises (menacingly) in the background.
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Don’t Do Drugs
Every horror movie has drug users. Much like sex, you horny degenerate fucks. Your fate is already sealed. To your credit you stick to the easier stuff, alcohol and marijuana, but killers are straight edge and don’t stand for that shit in their good Christian neighborhoods.
Don’t Be the Jerk
The one constant in horror is that the “jerk” is a death sentence. There’s nothing worse than the guy who refuses to cooperate with everyone else during times of crisis, thus the horror gods smite him of his life, and the audience is disappointed but not surprised. The moral of the story in this bloody teaching moment is to be nice kids! Be a team player!
Don’t Have Sex
Slasher films from the 70s onward firmly established that pointy boobs and having sex while a maniac is on the loose will kill you. For whatever reason (I suspect sexual frustration), monsters hate walking in on two unmarried teens going at it. Also, why do the teens INSIST on banging in the strangest places? (Forests, barns, and even morgues. What the fuck.) Practically begging for the killer to intervene. Frankly, I don’t blame him. If I was camping with my wife and kids and some teens decided to bang nearby within earshot of my toddlers, I might kill them. If they weren’t in a horror film, and this was real life, they might just get killed anyway, by some… deranged drifter or some shit. More recent horror films however are bending this rule, abstinence does NOT guarantee survival, but it still most certainly increases the odds.
Don’t Touch Anything Strange
I would say 50% of all horror movies situations wouldn’t happen if the characters were raised better and their mothers taught them to keep their hands to themselves. Example: Dark, decrepit, old, basements and attics suddenly become the touching tanks at an aquarium. Then upon finding an ancient looking book filled with ritualistic notes they can’t decipher but notes at the bottom in English they CAN read that say something along the lines of, “DO NOT READ OR REPEAT, DO NOT SAY OUT LOUD, ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD, YOUR EYES WILL FALL OUT, YOUR TEETH WILL TURN TO LIQUID, YOU WILL BE CRUCIFIED, YOU WILL BE BURNED ALIVE, EVERY T.V. SHOW YOU DECIDE TO START WATCHING WILL HAVE SPOILERS IN SKY WRITING ABOVE YOUR HOME FROM NOW ON!” They read it in a horny teenager accent, and the horrible demon is unleashed.
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Don’t Go Alone
Man does not survive alone, characters in horror films go against this logic (I literally cannot think of ONE horror flick where they don’t), and split up when staying together is safer. Insane killers, zombies or some type of monster your odds of survival rise substantially when you have the help of other horny teenagers to rely on. The alternate universe where horror movies take place it is the better idea to go it alone to investigate the noise you heard in the creepy forest. The result? Being pinned to a tree by something sharp and pointy through your stomach (or head depending on the stage of the film).
Don’t Take Vacations in Secluded Areas
The creepy secluded cabin in the woods the rich characters parents own. Classic. No cell reception, who would have thought? Murders took place in the basement years ago and my parents never told me? This is an outrage! The caller is coming from inside the house!? (Wait I thought there was no cell reception…?) Anyway, in the world of horror, secluded areas outside of modern civilization (it’s not like Jason Voorhees is a part of his homeowners association), is a breeding ground for demons, killers, and diseases. Take a vacation to Candyland. (But watch out for that Gloppy… I don’t trust that guy).
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Pay Attention to Your Surroundings (If You Don’t Do This Already Maybe Take This as A Life Lesson)
The real reason and most realistic reason so, so many characters fall prey to their assailants is because they simply don’t pay attention to their surroundings, outside of investigating a sometimes very easily explained noise in the distance. The monster is watching them from the bushes 100ft away but nope, let’s play beer pong, other horny teens! Then BAM… the monsters right behind you and just like the dentist, it’s always too late. It’s almost comical. Pay attention homie.
Happy Halloween suckas’
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themurphyzone · 6 years
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Ocelot’s Heart Ch 3
Sorry for late update I had tests and an obsession with One Piece. 
Ch 3: The Path
Heinz woke up to an ocelot on his chest. Since he couldn’t move without disturbing her, he just accepted his temporary status as a living pillow. Olivia seemed even tinier when she was asleep, curled up into a golden ball with whiskers and spots. 
“How much longer?” he asked Perry. 
Perry made a zero with his thumb and index finger. 
“Wait, we’re here already?” Heinz said in surprise. The flight had gone by so quickly. “I think this is the first time I haven’t gotten leg cramps from sitting so long on a flight. I’m just gonna scoot out from under you....” 
But Olivia wasn’t having it. She growled in her sleep, wrapping her paws around Heinz’s arm to prevent him from escaping. 
It took Heinz and Perry ten minutes to ease her off enough so Heinz could stand up. 
“Could be worse. I could’ve had a tiger on top of me,” Heinz said. “Or you could’ve winded up a prey item. Speaking of which, we’d better sort that out so the ocelots don’t try to eat you. I mean, platypi and ocelots don’t even have the same habitat naturally so I don’t know if you’d even be appetizing to them.” 
Perry crossed his arms. 
“Look, I know you can defend yourself just fine, but they could still mistake you for a chew toy.” Then he caught a glimpse of a hideous brown cloak that hung on a hook by the door. “Whoa. That is a really ugly shade of brown. Please tell me I don’t have to wear that. That looks like the sort of thing you’d wear to a funeral around here.” 
Perry pointed out the window, and Heinz caught a glimpse of the boundary between the village and the forest. 
He sighed, grudgingly accepting his fate. “Fine, but only so people don’t freak out over an ocelot in their midst.”
I’m not a cub anymore, Olivia growled. OWCA agent, remember? I don’t need to be carried.
Perry folded his arms, giving her a stern look. 
It’s just a little walk! I can be sneaky! Olivia protested. 
“Perry the Platypus is right,” Heinz scratched her ears to calm her down, which seemed to be working. “You need to get in here so the villagers don’t see you around their houses. It’ll only be for a few minutes. You can come out once we’re in the forest.” 
Still grumbling, Olivia finally allowed herself to be hidden in the folds of the cloak. She didn’t weigh much more than a child. Heinz wrapped his arms around her belly, adjusting his grip so she would be more comfortable. She could peek out of the cloak, but prying eyes wouldn’t be able to see in. 
As they exited the aircraft, Heinz tried not to think back to his biological mother, who owned a similar traveling cloak to the one he currently wore. She always put the hood up when she was disappointed in him. He learned early on that he was doing something wrong if her eyes were hidden within the darkness of the cloak. 
In hindsight, it happened a lot. 
Once the aircraft was disguised with a cloaking device, they set off for the forest. Heinz vaguely recognized the dirt path that led to the deeper parts of the woods, where all kinds of magical creatures were rumored to live. 
“We should make it clear that you’re not gonna be Platypus a la carte,” Heinz mused. “After the Agent T incident, you’d think OWCA would be more careful where they send their animals.” 
Who’s Agent T?  
“Timmy the Turkey, or something like that,” Heinz said. “He was eaten by his nemesis on Thanksgiving Day. That’s a human holiday where you can be as gluttonous as you want and nobody will judge you for it. Kind of a gruesome way to go out though.” 
Perry was equally grossed out. 
Olivia stiffened. If my nemesis tries anything like that on me, I’m crushing their bones until they’re nothing but dust.
“Yeah, he was the first on LOVEMUFFIN’s ban list,” Heinz muttered. There was very little the members of LOVEMUFFIN agreed upon, but the ban forbidding Agent T’s nemesis from joining or setting foot in their meeting place was the exception. 
Suddenly Olivia poked her head out of the cloak, scenting the air. Heinz pulled her in quickly, looking around to make sure nobody saw her. The only people he could see were three young boys from the village, but they were too engrossed in their game to pay attention to him. 
I smell ocelot! Olivia protested. I want to see who it is! Lemme go! 
Heinz felt a sharp prick on his hand, and he yelped in pain, pulling his hand out and dropping Olivia. The two small punctures bled slightly, but he was fine. Perry tried to catch Olivia when she dashed past him, but he only succeeded in pulling a few hairs from her tail. 
Two of the three boys screamed as Olivia jumped into the middle of their group, snarling and hissing as she pushed a small kit behind her. The kit shook uncontrollably, covering its head with its tiny paws. 
The third boy tauntingly waved a long, spindly stick in front of Olivia’s face. She growled at him too, but winced when the stick hit her face. Perry walked up to them and broke the makeshift weapon with a sharp snap, pointing angrily at the houses. 
The boy only laughed. “Jeez, what’s with all these dumb animals today?” 
“Take it from me,” Heinz said as he gently scooped up the shivering kit. “These two fight crime for a living, and they can make it hurt. You’ll be going to bed with an aching back if you try anything.” 
“Don’t tell me what to do!” the boy snapped. “My father is the village leader! He’ll be hearing about this!” 
He dragged his companions away, his nose high in the air. They cast mutinous glares at Heinz, Perry, and the two ocelots. 
Human! The kit he held shrieked. 
Wait! This human’s okay! You heard the stories about Uncle Heinz! Olivia purred and rubbed against his leg to show that he wasn’t an enemy. This is him! And Perry the Platypus is his...um, former nemesis, I think. Uncle Heinz and Perry, this is Aunt Berry’s kit. His name’s Rowan. 
Perry waved at Rowan, a tiny smile on his bill. 
Rowan relaxed, a sigh escaping him. Thanks. Those humans back there scared me.
“Well, you’re safe now,” Heinz shrugged. “Least we got here in time. Bullies in Drusselstein can be really brutal.” 
Rowan, what were you doing near the village? Olivia’s ears flicked as she tried to catch every sound, worried they were in danger. You should be close to Aunt Berry! 
I just wanted to give Meema something to eat, Rowan protested.
Olivia growled at him. You haven’t been taught how to hunt yet! And you almost got hurt! Please don’t stray from the others, okay?
Rowan nodded meekly. I really missed you. Thorn and Willow aren’t fun to play with. At all. 
They’re hunters. They need to find as much as they can, Olivia replied.
Heinz ran his thumb against Rowan’s side to calm him down, realizing he could easily trace the outline of the kit’s ribs without looking. That was strange. The ocelots usually ate well. Sometimes even better than the humans. And if there wasn’t enough prey to fill every belly, the parents would give up their share to the kits. 
Despite the claims his human parents made when he returned to the village, Heinz never recalled being malnourished with the ocelots. 
He set Rowan down. The kit circled Perry, sniffing him closely and batting at his tail. You’re the weirdest duck I’ve ever seen, Rowan told him. Perry shrugged, a tiny smile gracing his bill. 
Olivia giggled. You’re so silly! Perry’s a platypus, not a duck!
Rowan scowled at her. I’m not silly! Look, he’s got webbed feet and a beak! Obviously a duck!
“Hate to burst your bubble, but he really is a platy-” A flat tail slapped against his mouth, preventing him from speaking. Perry held a finger up. Okay, he had a point. Olivia and Rowan’s argument over Perry’s species was pretty amusing. 
He had to admit, it made good background noise while they trekked through the dead undergrowth. The trees were just as gnarled and twisted as ever, devoid of leaves or any sign of life. Olivia and Rowan veered off the main path typically used by hunters and merchants, the only people who had a reason to be this deep in the forest. 
Then he spotted an old, familiar tree by the large twisted knot near the bottom branches. “Hey, hold on you two!” Heinz called. Olivia and Rowan turned around. “I wanna show you something!” Perry looked at him curiously. “You too, Perry the Platypus. You’ve never been here before, and I never managed to find a way to fit this into a backstory for a scheme.” 
Everyone followed him to the old tree. Heinz frowned at the moss that completely covered the base and thick roots. “Well, if the moss wasn’t here I could show you the small cove I used when I got disowned. Your Meema found me here. I scared her good too. She was expecting a mouse, I think.” 
Rowan giggled. Meema’s funny when she gets scared. Her fur gets all poofy. 
Please don’t try anything, Olivia groaned. No need to make the scolding worse. 
It was almost comical, being surrounded by living beings who liked his company and listened to everything he said no matter how trivial. His younger self would’ve found the entire thing surreal, that’s for sure. But now, it was flipped. He had a company that consisted of Vanessa and non-humans that were often more human than real humans. The feeling of searching for something, though he had no idea what he was looking for, was part of the lifetime that seemed so far away. 
A small hand pushed into his palm. A reminder of what he had now. Not much, but it was enough. And he didn’t mind it staying that way.  
Olivia and Rowan walked on ahead, pausing every few steps to make sure Heinz and Perry were following them. 
“I got a little lost in thought back there,” Heinz admitted sheepishly. “Thanks.” 
Perry squeezed his fingers just a little tighter. 
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ramajmedia · 5 years
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Arnold Schwarzenegger's 10 Best Movies, According To Rotten Tomatoes
Famed for his gargantuan muscular frame and his unmistakable Austrian accent, Arnold Schwarzenegger is one of the most renowned action movie stars in Hollywood. He may be a legend in the bodybuilding world and he may have served as the Governor of California, but when all is said and done, what Arnie will be best remembered for is his rich history of action cinema classics.
RELATED: Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 10 Most Badass Characters, Ranked
As an actor, Schwarzenegger is no Brando, but he is incredibly likable, and it’s this likability that has made him a bankable star with some decent movies (and a couple of great ones) under his weightlifting belt. Here are Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 10 Best Movies, According To Rotten Tomatoes.
10 The Expendables 2 (67%)
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While the first Expendables movie took itself a little too seriously and the third one didn’t take itself seriously enough, the second one found the sweet spot. The 2012 sequel had a plot and some vague character development, but it also dedicated plenty of time to winking at the audience and making thinly veiled references to the stars’ careers.
Although Arnold Schwarzenegger only had a cameo appearance in the first movie, he got a larger role in the sequel, playing Barney Ross’ arch-nemesis Trench Mauser. They don’t make old-school actioners like this anymore, so it’s great to see one, even if it isn’t perfect.
9 Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (69%)
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Unsurprisingly, the first Terminator movie not have any involvement from James Cameron is nowhere near as good as the first two. It’s actually sort of a slap in the face to fans – Sarah Connor is killed off-screen by a terminal illness, John Connor has grown up into a homeless burnout, and the T-800 wears Elton John sunglasses in the standard-template opening bar scene.
RELATED: 8 Things That Terminator: Dark Fate Could Fix About The Franchise
The latter is actually the film’s greatest strength, weirdly, because some of the self-parodying elements act as a sly, comedic wink to Terminator fans. Terminator 3 introduced a female Terminator called a Terminatrix. Other than the gender switch, however, there’s little differentiating it from the setup of T2.
8 TIE: True Lies (70%)
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Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Harry Tasker, a secret agent who struggles to keep his work life separate from his home life, in James Cameron’s big-budget comic thriller True Lies, which can be filed under “good, not great.” The main downside of the movie is its insensitive portrayal of characters who aren’t white men.
The wife character is depicted in a sexist way, with her husband stalking and then terrifying her using government equipment, and the Saudi Arabian villains are characterized as one-dimensional stereotypes. Still, it’s a rollicking action comedy, which might not make up for the controversial points, but does mean it’s a watchable movie.
7 TIE: Commando (70%)
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When most action movie fans picture a thriller in which an A-list star heads to a foreign country to track down his kidnapped daughter, they think of Liam Neeson in Taken. But Arnold Schwarzenegger made one of these movies back in the ‘80s called Commando.
It’s a fun, pulpy, visceral, action-packed cinematic ride about John Matrix’s quest to find his daughter, who was abducted by an old military buddy. The film has actually been studied in relation to queer theory, taking into account the closeup shots of Arnie’s muscles, his indifference to his female co-star, and lines like, “Put the knife in me, and look me in the eye.”
6 TIE: Conan the Barbarian (70%)
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In one of the early major roles that made him a star, Conan the Barbarian stars Arnold Schwarzenegger as a fierce warrior who sets out to avenge the death of his parents at the hands of a murderous snake cult.
There are some big names under the by-line on the screenplay – Apocalypse Now’s John Milius and Platoon’s Oliver Stone – so there’s an elevated grandiosity and a dark thematic undercurrent in the scenes and the dialogue. The movie was a huge box office success back in 1982, but it was an even bigger success on home media, quadrupling its overall revenue.
5 Stay Hungry (75%)
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Not a lot of Arnold Schwarzenegger fans know the movie Stay Hungry, but it was one of his earlier major roles. Despite the fact that he wasn’t yet the A-list star he would go on to become, it’s almost as if the character of Joe Santo – an Austrian bodybuilder – was written specifically for him.
The movie stars Jeff Bridges as a man whose life is turned upside down when he visits a gym and finds himself falling for the receptionist and fascinated by Joe Santo’s lifestyle. Although it wasn’t technically Arnie’s first on-screen performance, he won the Golden Globe Award for Best Acting Debut in a Motion Picture for it.
4 Predator (81%)
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Paving the way for Jason Statham to fight a 75-foot prehistoric shark and Dwayne Johnson to fight a giant, biologically enhanced wolf, Arnold Schwarzenegger took on a bloodthirsty creature from outer space.
Schwarzenegger teamed up with Carl Weathers, Jesse “the Body” Ventura, and a handful of Hollywood’s other bulkiest men for the riveting tale of a military unit that is attacked by an alien deep into the jungle, where no one can hear you scream. Predator also gets bonus points for giving us some of Arnie’s best-known one-liners, like “If it bleeds, we can kill it,” and “Get to the choppa!”
3 Total Recall (82%)
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Fans of Black Mirror will appreciate the frightful social science fiction and shocking plot twists of this Philip K. Dick adaptation. Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a construction worker in the near future whose friend tells him about a company that implants memories of vacations in your mind for cheaper prices than the vacation itself would cost. When he gets there, he’s told about other simulations, like spy missions.
RELATED: 10 Best Movies and TV Shows Based On Philip K. Dick Stories
Halfway through the simulation, he wakes up, ranting and raving about finishing his mission. They knock him out, and he returns home to a wife who tries to kill him. What follows is a twist-filled ride where you never know who to trust, what is real, and why Mars is so important.
2 Terminator 2: Judgment Day (93%)
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A prime example of a sequel done right, Terminator 2: Judgment Day is bigger, bolder, deeper, and more action-packed than its predecessor. It might not quite match the original’s cinematic mastery, but with a film of this scope, a pace that is set this perfectly is practically a miracle.
The sequel differs from the original by reprogramming Arnold Schwarzenegger to be a good guy and bringing in a second Terminator – a more advanced one, played by Robert Patrick – to be the bad guy. Every subsequent Terminator sequel has attempted to match the balance of existential musings and cyber-charged thrills of this one and failed miserably.
1 The Terminator (100%)
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It’s not often that Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a villain, but The Terminator shows that maybe he should do it more often. James Cameron’s fiercely original screenplay for the film is built on a spectacular premise: in a future where cyborgs have taken over, the cyborgs send one back in time to kill Sarah Connor, the mother of John Connor, the leader of the Resistance, so John sends back his best guy to protect her from it.
By pitting two humans – one a battle-hardened fish out of water from the distant future and the other an unwitting waitress in the ‘80s – against an emotionless, unstoppable cyborg, two lovable heroes and one unforgettable villain were born.
NEXT: Sylvester Stallone's 10 Best Movies, According To Rotten Tomatoes
source https://screenrant.com/arnold-schwarzenegger-best-movies-according-rotten-tomatoes/
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fanoftheages · 7 years
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Hope Is a Bright, Beautiful Thing
relationship: Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker (Star Wars)
words: 1,926
summary: The Rebellion has achieved their first victory in defeating the Death Star. Hasty celebration ensues. But what can be said about our heroes, Luke and Leia, who suffered the worst tragedies on the way to this victory? Can they feel truly victorious in light of their unresolved grief?
(Chronology: between the end of A New Hope and the events of the Princess Leia comic, including only Leia's speech)
AO3
After their victory over the death Star, the Rebellion returned to their base on Yavin. They could not stay long, now that the Empire knew of their location. But the Empirial army would have to muddle through the aftermath, so the Rebellion took some time to savor their first real victory. Leia gave a speech, followed by a moment of silence to memorialize the sacrifices of the pilots Luke had flown with, as well as the loss of Alderaan. Following that, senior officers broke out, what Luke thought, a suspicious amount of alcohol. The entire Rebel force fell into raucous celebration and never looked back.
Luke had never been around so many people before—and had certainly never participated in such reckless partying. His home village on Tatooine was small and dry. Alcohol was found only in the bigger cities, or by those wealthy enough to afford it. The farmers and craftsmen of the village lived simple, modest lives. His aunt and uncle certainly never would have approved of him joining in the festivities playing out before him. It was part of why Luke had wanted to leave for the Empirial Academy—quiet farm life had never quite satisfied him.
A pang of grief shook him. He’d not had a moment to spare a thought for his uncle and aunt. Everything had happened so quickly—meeting Ben, learning of his lineage, being whisked away to the Rebellion, rescuing the princess, taking on the Death Star. He’d refused Ben at first, but after finding his home burned to ash, he’d demanded to be taken along. He’d been enraged and desperate, and Luke could see now that running off with Ben to join the Rebellion had been a wild grab for vengeance.
Well, he’d gotten his revenge, in a sense, but it rang hollow. He’d finally had the adventure beyond his wildest dreams, but at the cost of everything dear to him. Luke hadn’t wanted to live and die as a farmer—still didn’t—despite his uncle’s many lectures of how it was a safe profession, noble in its necessity. But now, surrounded by the cheers and drunken singing, Luke wished he’d appreciated the dependability and familial comfort of his former life, instead of being so eager to run from it.
Luke knew he’d found a new family of sorts in the members of the Rebellion, with Han and Chewie and Wedge. He just wished he hadn’t had to lose his old one to find it. The saber strapped to his leg, weighted with his father’s legacy, had not felt heavier than in that moment.
He sighed, staring down at his mostly untouched drink. He looked to where Wedge was currently being drunk under the table by Han, and a few younger members swinging from Chewie’s arms. Luke smiled in spite of his melancholy, then sighed again and decided it would be best to find some quiet.
He wandered from the main hall of the bunker, the celebration becoming faint echoes the farther he traveled. Luke had not been given an official tour, and the halls were narrow and winding. Soon, he realized he was completely lost, without even the sounds of the party to give him some idea of his location. Trying not to panic—the bunker wasn’t that big, he couldn’t be lost forever—he made a few more experimental turns before stumbling upon what appeared to be a storeroom.
Luke sagged in relief, then straightened, realizing he was not alone. Sitting on a crate, slumped over a table, was Princess Lei Organa herself. Her braid fell carelessly over her shoulder, face hidden in her crossed arms. She still wore the formal white dress Luke had seen her in when she’d stood before the masses and given her speech. When the celebration had fallen to cheerful chaos, he'd lost track of her. As tough as she’d been during their escape from the Empirial jet, Luke supposed it made sense that a princess wouldn’t join in with the drinking and revelry.
Taking in her slumped form, looking oddly frail, Luke hated to leave her. Still, she clearly sought to be alone and, in spite of fighting at her side, she was his commander, and Luke wasn’t sure it was his place. In his indecision, he backed into a stray box, tripping and cursing, before he could slap a hand over his mouth.
Well. That got him some attention.
Leia lifted her head. Luke was half-worried she’d been crying, but her eyes were dry. Dry and dull, shadows of weariness smudged under them. A few strands of hair had fallen loose from her braid.
“Luke?” she asked.
“Uh, Princess, sorry—”
She raised a hand, cutting him off. “Leia, please.”
“Leia. Um, sorry, I got a bit turned around. I didn’t mean to bother you.”
“You aren’t,” she said, smiling gently. “Not enjoying the festivities?”
“Oh, no, it’s—great. Just, you know, a bit loud. Needed a break.”
Leia chuckled, and Luke was glad to see some light return to her eyes. “Yes, I know what you mean.” She gestured for him to join her; Luke grabbed a crate and took a place across the table.
She continued, “I’m sorry we weren’t able to give you a proper celebration. If Alderaan had—” A stricken look crossed her features, with a sharp intake of breath. She closed her eyes, hands curling to fists on the table. Luke resisted the urge to reach out to her.
“Well,” she said carefully, “if things had been different, normally I like to give medals to those who prove their valor in battle.” She looked at him again, the gentle smile returning.
Luke ducked his head, blushing. “Ah, that’s fine, really. I’m just a farm boy from Tatooine. Medals and things aren’t really my… thing.” He coughed. “Although I’m sure Han would have appreciated it.”
Her smile turned wry. “Yes, I’m sure. Speaking of, I noticed your clothing…”
He looked down at his borrowed vest. “Oh, yeah, Han loaned me some stuff. I figured I ought to dress up a little nicer for the whole… service… thing.”
“Mm.” she looked at him a moment more, then turned away, shaking her head as if berating herself. With a deep breath, her shoulders straightened from their wilted slump. The gentle smile faded, brows uncreased, her eyes distant and serene. She reached up to tuck back the loose hair.
“Don’t do that,” Luke pleaded.
She blinked at him, hands falling. “Do what?”
“That… princess thing.”
She gave him a raised eyebrow, lips quirked. “Princess thing?”
“You know, when—when you get all, uh, solemn and poised. I mean, the speech you gave was nice, and I—I get that you have to be a leader but…” He hesitated a moment, then dared to take her hand. “It’s just us, Leia. You don’t have to hide.”
Leia looked at him for a long moment, then her eyes softened, the gentle smile returned. “Oh, Luke.” Her lip trembled, and she turned her head away, but Luke saw the stray tear fall.
“You let me lean on you when Ben died,” he said. “And that meant—so much to me. It was horrible to see him die; I really depended on him. But, honestly, I didn’t know him that well.
“My aunt and uncle, who raised me, they…” He had to stop, take a breath. “They were killed, by Vader’s people. Their house—the only home I ever knew—was burnt to nothing. It was what got me to come with Ben in the first place. I know it doesn’t really… compare to having your entire planet destroyed, but I am… here. For you.”
He could only watch as more of Leia’s tears fell. “Luke, I just can’t believe—I saw it. I saw it. And I still can’t believe it’s really gone. All those people, my people…” Her hand tightened around his; she still would not look at him. “My parents would have gladly given their lives for the Rebellion. But the people, they were peaceful, innocent. They depended on me, and yet…” She choked on a sob, hand covering her mouth.
“There was nothing you could have done,” Luke tried to assure her. “You joined the Rebellion for good reasons.”
She shook her head. “All those people, the culture, the history. Alderaan is a loss that will be felt by the entire galaxy. I don’t—” She took a deep, shuddering breath, her words colored by a darker tone. “I don’t know that I will ever forgive them.” She looked, finally, at Luke, and he was stunned by the determined fire in her eyes.
She pulled her hand from his loosened grasp, wiping away her tears. “Alderaan was a terrible loss. But I know my mother and father would be proud of what we accomplished. Now, no other planet will suffer the same horrible fate. We’ve finally had a victory against the Empire. Our fight is not over.” She smiled. “And you’re right, Luke; I do have to be a leader. But it is not something I think of as a burden. My people, the people I lead, give me strength.”
Carefully, she took Luke’s hands in her own. “I am sorry, though, for your loss. I wish I could promise that the pain gets easier to bear.”
Luke allowed his tears to fall, squeezing her hands. “Thank you,” he managed. “I’ll be, well, fine. Somehow. Eventually. You’re right, though, the fight isn’t over. I’m not just fighting the Emperor to free the galaxy; I’m fighting to honor their memory. I’ll carry them with me, always.”
Leia nodded, solemn. “I don’t mind, if you lean on me.”
He smiled. “Only if you promise to lean on me, when you need to.”
She laughed. “Deal.” She stood, pulling him to his feet. “Now, enough sad thoughts. There is a celebration to be had.”
“Ah, yes.” He couldn’t hold back his blush. “Actually, I got a bit, umm, lost. So, if you wouldn’t mind helping me get back…? You did say I could lean on you.”
Leia’s laugh was a bright, beautiful thing. Luke was so gladdened by her lively glow, he didn’t even mind that she was laughing at him.
“Come,” she said. “I’ll show you the way.” She winked at him. “That is what a princess is for, after all.” As they walked, she told him, “Luckily, we won’t be here long enough that you’ll have to learn the layout.”
He heaved a dramatic sigh. “Thank goodness.” The theatrics were enough to pull another laugh from the princess-now-renegade-commander. The delicate sleeves of her dress fluttered, the white like a beacon—strong and unwavering.
Soon, they returned to the main hall. The celebration seemed to not have abated at all, though several Rebellion members were now passed out haphazardly around the room. Luke wasn’t sure how they hadn’t run out of alcohol yet. Suspicious, really.
“ ‘Eyyyy, yer Worshipfulness! Skywalker! Where ya been?”
Luke looked up to see Han waving excitedly at them, face flushed red. Wedge was sprawled on the table, unconscious; Chewie had acquired several fancy braids.
Leia wrinkled her nose. “Your mercenary calls for you.” She patted his shoulder, wearing a sardonic smile. “Best attend to him.”
“Leia,” he said, stopping her as she turned away. He held his hand out. “May the Force be with you.”
She smiled and clasped his hand in a firm shake; he felt a spark, some flux of energy in the meeting of their hands. “May the Force be with you, Luke Skywalker.”
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robotnik-mun · 7 years
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Robotnik Retrospective Part Five: A Robotnik by Any Other Name
It’s that time again folks! Hello and welcome to another edition of The Robotnik Retrospective, where we delve into the depths of SatAM Robotnik, providing insight into why I like the guy so much and all the things that helped to contribute to that, both from within the series itself and without. Having thoroughly covered the in-series aspects of the character, we are now going to veer beyond his origins and take a look at this model’s utilization in other major adaptations within the franchise. In doing so we are going to take a look at how they impacted my perception of the character... as well as address a rather sizeable elephant in the living room. If you follow my blog enough, you’ve likely already guessed as to what THAT could be.
Because no matter how stringent a lot of us tend to be about this sort of thing, we cannot help but take something or the other from other adaptations, especially if those adaptations go into directions not covered by the source- especially when they can fill in the gaps that we might appreciate seeing covered, or various other details we might find fitting for the character. Adaptations can serve as a nifty way to enhance a character!
And with that said, let's get a move on!
On of the great and frustrating things about growing up with Sonic in the 90s? Brand confusion. There were so many versions of the character and his story running around it could be hard to keep track of, and with the advent of the internet it only got worse. Which was the ‘real’ Sonic? The one in the games? The one in the show with Scratch and Grounder? The one in SatAM? The comics in the US or across the pond in the UK? Yeah, the early days were something else, and for a lot of people it could get real confusing. Many fans like myself didn’t really do all that much to differentiate between the adaptations and mediums- Robotnik was Robotnik whether he looked like this, this, or this. Sonic was Sonic, robots were to be fought, and everything else was gravy. Of course, there were always those who liked to scream very loudly about who the ‘real’ Sonic was, but most of us didn’t really care.
I already detailed how that began to change once Sonic Adventure came along and SEGA decided they wanted something a bit more concrete for their setting, but in those days? It was pretty much jungle law. It could be a great thing, and it could be a horribly frustrating thing. The early 2000s in particular could be a pretty nasty time once SEGA decided to put more emphasis on storytelling and pushing a unified vision of Sonic, as you had game purists clashing with people who had preferred the spin-offs getting into a pissing match with one another.
War stories aside though, the nature of Sonic’s franchise during the Pre-Adventure Era was such that there were many many different takes on Sonic available, and as I had estasblished with the Adventures model of Robotnik, this meant that designs introduced in the animated adaptations would be re-utilized for comics meant to tie into the games and shows. The strangest of these adaptations, without contest, had to be Sonic Underground.
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Sonic Underground was a very weird chapter in the franchise, with a premise so out there that many half-jokingly wonder what kind of drugs were being inhaled or injected when it was thought up. In some ways a spiritual successor to SatAM, Sonic Underground once more operated under the premise that Robotnik already ruled Mobius and Sonic was fighting to remove him from power. This time however, Sonic was helped along by a pair of siblings, Manic and Sonia, used magical musical instruments to help fight, and of all things was a *prince* whose mother was a queen on the run from Robotnik, who feared a prophecy involving all four that would topple his empire.
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The premise alone is so out there that it leaves one to wonder if maybe this was meant to be a different show entirely and simply had Sonic slapped onto it for brand recognition (astoundingly enough though, this WASN’T the case... which is honestly a lot weirder than if it had been another show altered for a quick tie-in). Sonic Underground was notable for being the first western made Sonic show to feature Knuckles... and for being the ONLY Sonic show to never use tails. Infamous for it’s crazy premise, weird designs and shoddy animation, Sonic Underground is a somewhat contentious subject in the fandom- much like everything else really.
Is it bad? Personally... I don’t really think so. There’s a lot wrong with it, but it has things that I feel make it an okay show. Definitely not irredeemably awful. But I digress, we’re not here to analyze Sonic Underground- just a single part of it as it pertains to Robotnik, which is namely the Underground incarnation of Robotnik.
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As I said, Underground was in many ways something of a successor series to SatAM- it included much of the original writing staff for that show and re-used mainstays of the series such as Robotropolis and Roboticization, and of course, re-used the design for Robotnik to serve as the basis for the Robotnik of Underground’s setting. So, how did this version measure up?
Well...
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Not all that well, sadly. While still a global dictator, this Robotnik’s behavior was decidedly of a more comedic bend than his predecessor. Even more short tempered, bellicose and vain than SatAM’s Robotnik, this Robotnik was much more often subjected to physical comedy buffoonery, and his case wasn’t helped by his voice actor Gary Chalk (who had previously voiced Grounder in AoSTH). Now, Gary Chalk is a very talented and experianced voice actor, but the performance he gave for this Robotnik was less “Menacing Dictator” and more “Pompous Windbag”- and I suspect that was the point.
Other points against him where that unlike his SatAM self, this guy’s reign over Mobius was dependent upon the nobility paying taxes to fund his operations, and that even though he had personally wronged Sonic and his siblings, the emotional impact of his actions were blunted by the fact that they didn’t treat him with the same level of hostility and fear as his predecessor was often treated. His more comedic-by-comparison traits similarly undermined his credibility- he was at once the supreme dictator of Mobius who none the less was often much more thoroughly humiliated than his predecessor, putting him in an awkward middle ground between a comedy villain and a more serious kind of villain that didn’t really work that well.
Adding to that, this Robotnik had absolutely no backstory. While SatAM Robotnik wasn’t exactly a deep well of details when it came to his past, at the very least there was a context to him- he was once the leader of the Kingdom of Acorn’s military and a trusted friend and advisor to the king, who used his influence over the robot army he had constructed to keep the peace to conquer the kingdom from within. In Underground however, there is nothing provided, nothing to contextualize how he came into power to begin with or how he exactly relates to the hedgehogs. At times I’m not even sure his robotic arm is even really robotic, given that there have been times that *flesh* was seen underneath...
At this point you probably think I wholly dismiss this incarnation of Robotnik or that I disdain it. Well, surprise surprise, but I don’t. There are in fact interesting aspects to this version. While him ruling over people through somewhat more legitimate means made him less threatening than his SatAM Predecessor, it IS on it’s own an interesting and unique twist on things that Robotnik is able to rule via the consent of the nobility, allowing them free reign in return for paying for his various schemes while the commonfolk fit the bill. Similarly, Roboticization being dolled out as a punishment for transgressions rather than the default fate for anybody who is captured by the guy is an interesting use of the concept. And hey, I rather enjoy the wide variety of robots and vehicles that this Robotnik got to use. Also, for all about him that was taken lightly? He did get at least one *really* cool moment in the series- blackmailing Knuckles into helping him by essentially holding all of Mobius hostage, declaring that if he couldn’t rule Mobius then he would rather see it destroyed. That’s actually a pretty legit awesome moment there, and it’s the only thing that I ever took from him.
So yeah, I wouldn’t say that this is a ‘bad’ depiction of Robotnik- it has its merits, but in the end he just didn’t capture my attention the way his predecessor did, nor did the bulk of his actions impress me in the same way.
Which brings us to the REAL meat of this section- Archie Comics.
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One thing I’ve mentioned in this retrospective and elsewhere is that my timing when it comes to Sonic has always been rather weird. The first game I played was Sonic 3, AFTER I had already seen Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog on TV. My first encounter with Amy and Super Sonic came from an issue in Fleetway. My first episode of SaTAM and first encounter with Robotnik was the Doomsday Project, and my first issues of the Archie Series? Was the last two issues of the Endgame Saga.
Boy, what a time to come into things, eh?
As I once said, for the longest time I didn’t really ‘process’ continuity when it came to Sonic. Since this comic featured Sonic and the Freedom Fighters and the familiar model of Robotnik, I just viewed it as an extension of the show, and lemme tell you... it blew my mind away. This comic featured things like Robotnik framing Sonic for killing Sally and ended with what remains one of the coolest looking fight scenes in the comic, with Sonic pushed to the very brink and nearly dying as he strove to take down Robotnik once and for all, ending in a final victory for Sonic and the Freedom Fighters!
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I mean, how could I *not* be impressed?
I later got the Director’s Cut version, and it became even better as it expanded his evil deeds and set up and finished the final fight in an even better way. That was some seriously kickass stuff, my younger self thought.
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What I didn’t realize at the time though, was that all that stuff I had seen? Was ultimately an outlier. Or that my ability to discern quality storytelling was soooooorely lacking.
See, because I lived overseas, my early exposure to Archie came in bits and pieces each summer for a while. As such, I really had no idea what the earlier books were like. See, while Archie was indeed made to tie into SatAM, the original miniseries was published *before* SatAM, and as such while there were designs and general characters and used from the show, the actual tone and characterization of the series aligned more to the Adventures cartoon then it did SatAM, and the things that WERE included were based off earlier production materials. Sally for example was an orange furred blonde in the miniseries before having her hair and fur switched to pink and black, Antoine took several issues before he finally got his trademark accent (and was evidently envisioned as being *British*, and Rotor was initially addressed with his early name of ‘Boomer’ and retained his design and color scheme from the SatAM pilot episode.
Naturally, this meant that while Robotnik in Archie had the same design as his SatAM counterpart, his personality was more aligned to the Adventures model. It’s kind of funny actually, because it’s the opposite of what happened over in the UK with Fleetway- there, Robotnik would eventually take on the design of the Adventures incarnation, which had been for a comedy show, and went on to become one of the most terrifying incarnations of Robotnik out there.
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Fun little bit of irony, isn’t it?
Anyway, the point is, for the longest time I was quite unaware of the fact that in Archie, Robotnik had spent the bulk of his career as a comedy villain, and it was only after his death that some of his nastier deeds were elaborated upon. For most of his time within the comic though, Robotnik was a comedic villain- a petulant manchild with a major league hate-on for Sonic. As time went on he would go on to be less and less comedic... but he never really reached the same levels as his Archie counterpart in terms of personality *or* dialogue. This Robotnik was very talkative and tended towards a more casual tone of voice even when fighting Sonic and company. Even his better moments in the book (such as the Mecha Madness Storyline) didn’t really help to give him the same kind of gravitas or presence that his predecessor possessed. Not helping matters was the fact that multiple writers handled him, giving him a shaky and unsteady voice throughout much of the book. Even picturing his dialogue with Jim Cummings’ voice speaking the lines didn’t really help. It was only with Endgame that Robotnik truly began to show the same kind of menace as his source.
However, this Robotnik DID have something else going on for him- a greatly expanded backstory. Here we learned that Robotnik was an ‘Overlander’, a member of the enemy faction during the Great War who defected over to the Kingdom of Acorn and with his insight into Overlander tactics helped deliver victory to the Kingdom. It was further revealed that he was from a prestigious family called ‘The House of Ivo’, that he had a brother called Colin (who himself was a ranking member of the Overlander army and the father of Snively), and that during the Great War he sabotaged the Roboticizer before its first use, resulting in Sonic’s own father Jules becoming the first Robian.
As you can imagine, I ate it up, and gleefully applied it to the SatAM Robotnik, because honestly, at some level I still conflated the two. Yep, I was really, very much influenced by all the details that the Archie comics provided for Robotnik and all too eager to make use of them. Who could be responsible for so much that brought me joy, eh?
That sound your hearing? Is the sound of an elephant firmly planting itself in the room. I mentioned that I would be addressing said elephant in the last retrospective post, and for those of you that know this blog, you already know who I’m talking about.
The guy responsible for all these developments was Ken Penders.
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Yup. Ken Penders. That fucker. I don’t really need to go on about him- I’ve said more than enough about the guy in general, and I don’t need to elaborate on it really. I deeply dislike Pender as a person, as a writer, as an artist... just in general really. No more needs to be said about that, as I’ve said MORE than enough elsewhere on this blog.
However... for a time, I was once a fan of his, and I really, truly loved everything that he had done, both for Robotnik and for Sonic in general. It would be dishonest for me to pretend otherwise. At some level I saw the comics as being an extension of SatAM, one that happened to include things from the games, especially including Knuckles and giving him more to do. Best of all worlds. Hard to believe given how often I criticize the man and his works, but its all true. I loved his stuff and it became a huge part of why I loved Sonic and why I liked Robotnik as a character, even as I began to differentiate the various continuities from one another and began to grasp that each one was contained to the self. I did not care. Even as I got older and began to notice certain discrepencies in the stories I liked so much, I still did my best to take them and make sense of them, creating my own take on familiar stories and bits of lore and forming it into something more logical and whole (even in the  fanboy days I thought the canonical end to the Great War was a weak one). Yep, it’s safe to say that I owe a lot of what I liked in Sonic to Penders.
Then, the lawsuit happened. That he would pursue legal action over characters that were clearly Sonic characters did a good deal to sour me on the guy. Then, by the grace of my good friend Fini-Mun, I was directed over to his forum and his twitter... and that was when it dawned upon me that this man, who I owed so much happiness to, was a horrid, horrid person. After that I began to delve around and learn the full scope of his antics, and it was here that I really began to open my eyes. I was now able to re-read his works, and I was now able to realize something that many people before me had already known but that I had refused to accept- Penders was a terrible, terrible writer. His dialogue was dull and stale, his plotting was drawn out and aimless, he was overly reliant upon exposition, while character development was often done with little build up and rarely built upon. To say nothing of his over reliance upon references to other franchises to act as substitutions for actual worldbuilding, and his disastrous and utterly baffling attempts to insert ‘real world’ subjects into the book.
Sadly, even my beloved Endgame was rife with this- the plot ultimately moves along due to happenstance, and Sonic is only triumphant due to events beyond his control. It became clear that if Sonic had done literally nothing, then the outcome of the storyline would have been more or less the same, ending in Robotnik’s death and with Sally alive and well. It dawned on me that save for a few neat fight scenes... Endgame on the whole kinda sucked. Kinda really, really sucked.
Except for this- this was awesome, at least. 
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Last cool thing out of Endgame, I promise.  
So, what does any of this have to do with Archie Robotnik? Well as I mentioned, the events of Endgame and the backstory material that Penders provided for him really helped to enhance my enjoyment of the character and Sonic on the whole... and in slowly peeling away the layers of Penders’ mediocrity, a new picture began to present itself, a final nail in the coffin that was my enjoyment of the man’s work.
Divorcing my negative feelings regarding the lawsuit and the revelation of just how bad a lot of his writing was from an objective standpoint, his various statements and actions soon made it clear that he had little real respect for Robotnik as a character, along with the franchise that he was meant to be working on. Killing off Robotnik in Endgame might have seemed like a daring move, but evidently Penders felt that it should be a permanent arrangement and even fought to keep Robotnik dead in the aftermath of Endgame, claiming that it would ‘allow for new challenges’. Problem is that Robotnik, or Eggman or whatever you call them is the principal villain of the series and by default must be a constant. To this day, I still think the fact that it was Robo-Robotnik who returned rather than Robotnik proper was done as a compromise to appease Penders and allow him to have his precious 'moment’.
Point of order though, there was something suspicious about this to me. Curiously though despite his insistence upon Robotnik dying and staying dead, he never seemed all that eager to do away with the villains he had created for his Knuckles the Echidna comic, The Dark Legion. Even after the comic was canceled Penders continued to try and build up the Legion as a major threat, despite having previously used the failure of a miniseries to justify the killing of a major character he didn’t know (Princess Sally, and that wasn’t the only excuse he gave), even seeing fit to have Dark Legion characters survive into the world of Mobius: 25 Years Later. Not at all helping his case was the discovery of his opinion that the Dark Legion could ‘eat Eggman and any of his incarnations for breakfast’, when asked about the Dark Legion going over to Eggman’s employ during Flynn’s run.
The real breaking point though came when I discovered that not only had he permanently killed Dr. Robotnik off, but twice tried to replace his role in the book with cheap knockoffs of his own creation.
The first one, naturally, debuted in the Image Crossover Super Special, one of the most notoriously awful books in the entire Sonic line and easily deserving in the place of Top Ten Worst Issues. The Image Crossover was a bizzare concept, namely the heroes of the then nascent Image Comics Universe encountering the heroes of Archie’s own Sonic comic. Strange, but it could be workable. Unfortunately, the Image Crossover would not only fail to truly exploit its premise, it ultimately served as little more than a glorified commercial for Penders’ own intended Image Series, The Lost Ones. The villain of this book, introduced without any context or build-up or foreshadowing of any kind was this guy- Dr. Ian Droid.
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Before you ask, no, that name isn’t a slam on Ian Flynn, it’s just a stupid pun. This guy’s name was never uttered in the book itself, nor his precise origins, but on his message board it would be revealed that Ian Droid was indeed a counterpart to Dr. Robotnik (specifically stated him to be another version of Robo-Robotnik), and eventually the utimate menace of 25YL-THIS guy would be the one to pilot the Robotnik mech seen in Locke’s visions, which kicked off Locke genetically modifying Knuckles to begin with.
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Yep. That’s right. This incredibly generic looking refugee from the 90s was meant to be a legitimate counterpart to the incredibly distinct looking and behaving Dr. Robotnik, a copy of a copy (Robo-Robotnik) and the ultimate menace of everything. Oh, but even better? He was also the main villain of the Lost Ones. He didn’t do squat there either! But yes, you heard me right- Ken Penders tried to create a character owned by himself, and then through his connections at Archie, tried to make this character into a legitimate, in-universe equivalent to a character he didn’t own, belonging to a franchise he didn’t own, all so that he could try and promote his goddamn failure of an independent comic. And not only was he meant to be a counterpart, but the ultimate threat of the book. This guy, who literally has no distinct design or personality features at all. Even his freaky square pupils were lifted off of Galactus!
Oh yeah, incidentally, that giant Robotnik mech? First debuted in Sonic Live, being made by dozens of Robotniks from other zones. 
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Yep, that’s right folks- the big, super evil weapon that Locke saw his son fighting? The thing that would ultimately kickstart the Big Epic Storyline of Knuckles and gradually damn near overtake the entire Sonic comic line under Penders? Had its origins in Sonic Live, easily one of the absolute worst books in the entire franchise (not unlike the Image Crossover), another one that justifiably tends to rank high in the ‘Worst Issues’ lists people tend to make. This thing is so awful, it basically caused the Knuckles series to happen! 
What could have possibly motivated Penders to think that ‘Ian Droid’ was a good idea is something that is unknown to this day, beyond the warped need to try and use the Sonic franchise to boost his own projects even back when he was still on the book. 
As I said though, there were *two* attempts at this, and Droid was only the first. The second time around, Penders would display *slightly* more savvy by crafting an explicit connection between his creation and Robotnik/Eggman... and in doing so, even further highlighted the utter redundancy of the addition. 
In his last run on the book, a gold plated clone of Gamma called “Isaac” would show up and reveal himself to be from the Pre-Xorda days of humanity, acting as a caretaker for his master... Dr. Ivan Kintobor, born June Sixth of 2006 AD. Yep. Born 6/6/6. Oh and also he was the one who dissected a Xorda which caused them to destroy the Earth, which in turn caused the creation of Mobius. 
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Yeeah, you can see where this is going. Penders was very clearly setting up for Ivan Kintobor to become a new, major threat... despite Eggman already being in the picture and more than established as the central villain of the series. Mercifully, Penders left before he could implement whatever he was building Ivan Kintobor up to, and when Flynn came on board he immediately nipped that one in the bud.
The point I am trying to get at though? It becomes very clear that Penders had very little respect for Robotnik as a character, or for the games that the book was made to promote, or the show that it had been made to tie-in to, and this knowledge has all but shattered my ability to fully appreciate this incarnation of Robotnik, particularly since in the long run, his list of truly cool deeds is incredibly limited. Similarly, knowing that the man responsible for that would think of the book’s main villain, an incarnation of the franchise’s principle enemy, was so disposable that he could just replace him with “my version but better” twice over, as well as view them as being inferior to villains he himself created? Is intolerable.
It’d be like if someone at DC earnestly managed to kill-off Darkseid...
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.... and then immediately tried to replace him with THIS.
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“Darkthornn”.
The key difference though is that when Liefeld made that mardi-gras colored mockery, he used him exclusively for his own book rather than trying to make him an in-universe counterpart for Darkseid or trying to replace the guy with his own creation.
So yeah, in the end? Penders did a lot to flesh out Robotnik, and for a while I was cheerful to use it as my own... but knowing his mentality and how many of the little details were really badly written (in particular, the nauseating fact that the Overlanders were little more than a straw humanity to contrast Penders’ straw Utopian mobians) has soured my once rather deep enjoyment and desire to utilize this version’s details. It feels like a validation for a man who ultimately saw the franchise on the whole as a personal stepping stone for his own ideas. If anything good came of it though, it has in fact made me doubly appreciative of the SatAM incarnation of Robotnik.
Penders however wasn’t the only one to provide some interesting ideas for this Robotnik. Karl Bollers never really got to write in-depth for the character, being the one to usher-in Robo-Robotnik and his ascension to Eggman. I’m not going to cover him given that he’s really a separate character entirely and technically ceased to be SatAM Robotnik-based, but I’ll say this much- while it was a confusing as hell means to re introduce Robotnik and later Eggman’s SA design into the comic, I actually did kind of like the concept, that of a Robotnik from another Zone who had managed to triumph and, bored with victory, left his own Zone to re-live the thrill of conquest on another Mobius. Driven more by amusement than anything else, it’s a unique motivation for a Robotnik/Eggman. Also, I thought the Roboticization touch thing was a cool idea.
Moving on though, Bollers DID add a few details regarding Archie’s Robotnik that helped to enhance the character and ultimately my perception of the Robotnik that spawned him.
One of these was the revelation that in the past, Robotnik had a mentor, a kindly fellow called Nate Morgan.
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Nate Morgan’s proper origins actually begin with SatAM, where an unused character by that name was envisioned as a wizard allied with the Freedom Fighters.
The Nate Morgan shown in the concept art however had very little to do with the character Bollers introduced. This Nate Morgan, in the past, served as a teacher and mentor to Julian, and allowed him to assist in secret research that would eventually lead to the creation of the power rings. Betrayed by his student, Nate would be exiled from Overland and wander into the Kingdom of Acorn, where his technological expertise would be used to raise the Mobians out of the medieval era stage of development they were in, and he would later go on to be a close advisor to King Max and mentor CHarles Hedgehog, before a conspiracy from Kodos and Naugus would force him to go into self-exile.
Like many things in the comic, Morgan was not a very well utilized idea, but for his concept alone I appreciated him all the same. I enjoyed the irony of the idea that someone like Robotnik could be mentored by someone as kind and gentle as Nate, and appreciated the connection he gave to Charles beyond them both working directly for the King. There was potential for stories in there regarding both Charles AND Julian, particularly regarding how Nate might have responded to seeing the damage his two students did to the world and how it would impact him, knowing that their knowledge sprang from him to begin with. Either way though, I appreciated the way this guy enhanced Archie Robotnik AND Chuck’s backstories.
The other thing was a really just a minor gag, but one I got a lot of mileage out of- namely the four robotic replacement bodies under Robotropolis, built by Robotnik Prime and later utilized by Robo-Robotnik, which served as a means to upgrade Robotnik’s design to Eggman’s.
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This panel just amuses and intrigues me on *so* many levels, because it leaves open soooo many questions about how this Robonik’s vanity operates. Only one of those bodies could be considered conventionally attractive, and that one lumpy looking fella is even *uglier* than how Robotnik normally looks. Otherwise? They’re all just variations of Robotnik’s features of being bald, fat, and possessing extensive facial hair. I just find it fascinating that, given the chance to have an entirely new body, Robotnik only made one that could be regarded as an idealization of himself while making the rest different takes on his usual features. In particular, with the hindsight of realizing that he surely based the 'Eggman’ body off of his own grandfather, it made me wonder if perhaps this Robotnik deliberately chose to grow out his mustache in direct homage to the man. It’s a shame they never came up or were used again, but oh well, they were pretty memorable for all the single panel that they showed up on.
While never directly relating to “Robotnik Prime” properly, there were a few other things that I enjoyed for the intriguing possibilities they presented- and one of them was none other than M.
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M didn’t have a lot going for her, but her existence did make me wonder what would motivate Eggman to specifically create a ‘daughter’, and to specifically give her the features that he did. The implications intrigued me, particularly in the way that they could reflect off of Robotnik Prime’s own backstory, aligning with a few ideas I had held for the SatAM version. I won’t get into details, but Mecha ended up having a bit more of an impact with me than you might think, regardless of how little real use she got.
And finally, there was one of my favorite Bollers contributions- Hope.
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Hope’s character presented an intriguing concept- the White Sheep of a family with a heavily checkered past in general and an ESPECIALLY horrible reputation thanks to the actions of her uncle (and his counterpart). Notable for being one of the few Overlander characters in the book to sympathize with Mobians, Ian Flynn later got a lot of mileage out of her by revealing that, much like her half-brother, uncle and great-grandfather, Hope had inherited the Kintobor affinity for machinery and the scientific genius to go with it. Determined to restore her family name after her uncle and brother had dragged it through the mud, Hope was a really great idea and a great character. She never interacted with her ‘real’ uncle, but her existence and antagonistic relationship with the rest of her family none the less served as wonderful story fodder all the same. Helping matters was the fact that, by a wonderful coincidence, Hope managed to strongly resemble the long dead Maria Robotnik despite debuting before her. 
In conclusion? My relationship with the Archie Robotnik is a complicated one with a complicated history, with my forgiving attitude of ‘good idea, bad execution’ clashing with and ultimately losing to ‘realizing the guy writing for him didn’t give a crap really’. Though I will not deny that this one’s existence greatly enhanced my enjoyment of SatAM Robotnik and, once upon a time, I was all too willing to use the precise details of his life and conflate them with SatAM Robotnik, and at one point I might have even called him my favorite. With the realization of how poorly handled his characterization was and that his only real time to truly shine (in a convoluted and poorly explained story) came only in the same arc as his death, along with understanding the dismissive and self-serving motivation of Penders, that is no longer even remotely the case.
Ah well. Mecha Madness was still cool. 
However, the bottom line is though that these two re-interpretations of SatAM Robotnik, Underground and Archie alike, were none the less unique takes upon the doctor, spinning interesting new interpretations of his character to fit the new worlds that they were a part of. While neither of them really matched the original deal, they were both memorable in their own right, and that is more than enough.
With that, we move on past the other models of Robotnik that existed, and prepare to veer into the next retrospective. The subject of which is a... personal favorite of mine- criticisms of the doctor, and my counterpoints to those criticisms. Fun times ahead, lemme tell ya.
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