#If you can solve issues with a single thought? Ya boring

[leviiattacks]

hi hi hi i really really really loved your jealous headcanon of levi and your teacher levi!!! i was wondering if i could maybe request something where you kinda mix the two(?) so like theres this event going on in school and the reader is very occupied and busy because shes paying attention to her students and then maybe she talks to some teachers about the event and then levi is just there secretly sulking cause he wants her attention too?? or idk you do you because your works are always soooooooo good thank you<3333

author note :: i did not stick to the prompt which was honestly an accident?/£/):7 but there is jealous levi and reader so i hope it workssss, it’s not that great and isn’t edited...but i hope you enjoy it :-( also thank you for the request you were very kind <3

for this to make more sense you’ll probably have to read my first ever teacher levi post which you can find here !!!!!

requests are always open :-)

word count :: 4.3k ???? longer than i expected ???? 

levi groans at the mention of sports day before turning to look at you dead in the eyes

he knows this is your doing, you’ve always been big on getting the children into sport and other extracurriculars

now see, he has no actual issue with sports day?? he’s pretty fit if he says so himself!!!

it’s just that he frankly does not have the effort to participate.

another part of him also feels frustrated seeing mike flock around you like an annoying bee

he’s asking all sorts of questions

“are we doing the three legged race again this year?”

“how about javelin?”

“HAHA...mike...”

levi takes one look at you and knows you’re trying to let him down softly, it is his favourite event after all.

“since last year’s fiasco and the way you nearly hit one of the sixth graders i think not.” you awkwardly chuckle patting his shoulder as if it’s any consolation

mike loves sports day, he’s competitive in all of the teacher only events and last year he even tripped you and levi up ON PURPOSE might you add

either way he still lost the teacher’s three legged race last year and ever since he’s been out to gain his title back.

levi remembers, he’s unsure if you do but he remembers vividly having to carry you on his back because you had sprained your ankle pretty badly after your collision with mike.

back then you and levi were still in the middle of your little math vs english debate meaning the whole walk to the infirmary was filled with bickering.

and when levi had placed you onto one of the beds you insisted you could treat yourself when you really couldn’t

the way that scenario ended had been with levi forcing you to place your foot onto his knee as he iced and tended to it

this year levi is not having any repeats of that. yes, he quite liked having some alone time with you, in fact it was one of the first times he stopped to wonder if he liked you.

BUT!!!! having you limp around the corridors wasn’t the best either and you were highly irritable until you were fully healed

“why don’t you actually try this year?” hange stifles a laugh, they’re stood to levi’s left and upon hearing their voice his shoulders sag. he knows he’s in for one hell of an earful

“i do try–”

“yeah whatever. anyway, you want a cupcake?” hange’s gesturing to the haphazardly iced buns in the four plastic containers in their hands

“these are for the bake sale!!” they add in enthusiastically.

levi’s about to shake his head, he’s already donated to the bake sale’s charity fund without paying for any of the baked goods. yes it is purely because he doesn’t trust hange to feed him anything edible

“they’re y/n’s batch :-)” hange’s wickedly grinning knowing they’ve hit their colleagues weakness

without another thought levi’s right hand dives into one of his pockets, fishing his wallet out. he places a few spare coins into hange’s palm

“wOAH, you’re pretty eager aren’t ya??”

their remark flies over levi’s head as he tries to pick out two of the most presentable cupcakes

“you’re so fond of y/n, why not try a little harder like i said?” hange’s thrown the bait in the river and levi completely falls for it. he turns ninety degrees completely forgetting about the cupcakes.

“i’m talking about sport’s day if it isn’t obvious.”

he faces hange directly. he scowls twisted in fake disgust and confusion all at once

“and why would i care about that?” he shoots back

“after walking in on the both of you touching each other up in the janitor’s closet i’m really surprised you’re — mMMPH—” levi’s shoved one of the cupcakes into hange’s mouth

“you’re gonna have to pay for that–”

levi smacks some more money into their palm to appease the issue

“when did you see that and have you told anyone else?” he’s seething right now, there’s no way he or you were unable to notice someone as loud as hange prance into the storage cupboard accidentally

“i haven’t told anyone but it has only been three days since i saw so who knowsss...”

“i’ll do anything for you to keep your mouth shut.” levi’s practically begging at this point

“i think you should buy a whole box of cupcakes as compensation. my eyes will never be the same again.”

levi hands over more than enough money, he’s probably handed over enough for two boxes just for extra measure

it’s not that he’s embarrassed of you or anything no, no, not at all. he just, this sounds so stupid but he isn’t sure what the two of you are????

you’ve kissed, A LOT but the only problem is that there’s never actually been confirmation of... something more? than that?

he’s simply horrible at asking, and seeing the way you’re talking to mike it’s almost getting to the stage of borderline flirting

he’s currently flexing one of his muscles and levi’s unsure if you’re actually gawking at them or feigning interest so mike can get bored and leave sooner

his bets are on you pretending for the sake of mike leaving until you reach out to squeeze his arm appreciatively

...

what is this feeling??

insecurity?? a low self esteem??? levi isn’t entirely sure what the emotion that surges through him at that moment is

but hange sure does, grinning at the scene playing out they shove moblit with their elbow

well, well, well levi getting jealous is certainly something new.

when levi knocks on the door of your classroom you assume he’s come to bother you and ask for the spreadsheet with grade averages and all that technical stuff

english and math grades need to be compared side by side and even though it’s your job to help with the data analysis you’re pretty bad at it so levi’s the one who USUALLY picks up the pieces and does it for the two of you

occasionally mike steps in and helps when levi’s got other stuff in the way

“oh levi!! mike told me he’d be doing this month’s spreadsheet?” you’ve poked your head out of the door to talk to him

levi’s eyes narrow at that because he hasn’t asked mike for help at all.

“i didn’t come here for the spreadsheet but i haven’t even told mike to assist me this month... i wonder why he’s so passionate.” he mumbles the last part under his breath

opening the door up you wave for him to come inside “what you here for then?” you ask, oOoh maybe he’s finished reading an inspector calls?? finally you can talk to someone about the twist at the end

“i’m taking part in sports day properly.” the statement is unexpected and ?? levi ?? take anything other than math seriously ??

“woah... i’m proud of you?? i’m glad you’re seeing it’s important to show the children physical activity is fun.” your smile brightens up the entire room and he begins to feel a little more confident

peering up at him your curiosity doesn’t go unnoticed and he clears his throat, he knows you’re expecting him to say something else

ok, ok, ok. he thinks he’s built enough courage up to ask you

“i’ve never got the chance to ask but would you like to go on a date?” on reflex levi screws his eyes shut, suddenly he’s convinced you’ll say no and reject him. why would you accept??

“sure!”

his eyes flutter open and he feels you grip at the sleeve of his shirt.

well? that went better than he expected?

“where do you want to go?” you ask

“doesn’t matter, but let’s go somewhere after sports day finishes up.”

“are you barely going to try like last year?” you’re munching away at a granola bar - it’s rather bland and makes your throat feel kinda scratchy

you’re midway through drinking some water to deal with the dryness but you nearly spit it out when levi responds

“no. i plan on winning every single teacher event.”

HE WANTS TO??? beat???? everyone???

“you’re planning on beating mike too?” you tilt your head to the side incredulously

levi purses his lips at the mention of his name

“why does that sound so absurd to you?”

“he’s um, very good at sport that’s all.”

“i am too.” levi’s adamant to prove his point to you

“fine, here’s a deal. win at least one teacher event and i’ll try and solve one of your funny math problems or whatever.”

“what kind of deal is that??”

“you’ll be able to see me struggle with numbers, for free!!”

“no. i have something better in mind.” levi bites his smile back, he can’t let you know the idea makes him feel

“and that would be?”

he takes a step forward decreasing the space between the two of you.

“how about you kiss me in front of everyone?”

your mouth falls open because oh wow....? you have no actual problem with the task you’re simply surprised that levi is willing to put the both of you out there like that. the spectacle is bound to raise some eyebrows

“deal?” he holds his hand out for you to shake

you nod your head. “it’s a pleasure doing business with you.”

and so your deal is sealed with a firm handshake.

the big day has ARRIVED!!!

all of the students are flooding in through the gates. some carry footballs, other basketballs. you’ve been here for less than ten minutes and had to save a ball from crashing right into an expensive window.

everyone’s wearing active gear, udo walks in with a ski mask on?? which is peculiar but it’s humorous so you don’t tell him off for it

you’ve chosen a comfortable olive green tracksuit, you don’t think you’re in the mood for ski masks like udo is

coincidentally levi happens to show up in the EXACT same type of tracksuit?? everything’s the same to the colour. you both stare at each other for a moment trying to figure out how exactly you managed that but give up, you guess you have similar tastes

the accidental coordinated outfits have a few of your students pointing and chuckling together

gabi and falco are laughing heartily and whispering god knows what about the two of you

“three legged race partner?” levi asks as he fills up some water bottles for the water stand

“oh? mike asked me to be his partner.”

levi doesn’t make it obvious that he’s jealous about it because what adult would be jealous over a three legged race??

but even if you can’t tell levi is pissed mike sure can

he’s walking past the two of you, hands shoved into his pockets when he spots you a few meters away. his eyes sparkle when he sees you. it’s at that moment he senses the dark piercing glare coming from your right.

you’ve yet to notice mike but levi’s seen him approaching from a mile away and he isn’t particularly happy about it.

the good thing about mike is that he knows not to mess with levi.

the two have known each other for years and by now mike knows messing with levi is a death wish in itself.

so when the poor physical ed teacher notices the way levi glowers at him he calls out your name to get your attention - he’s much too afraid to get anywhere near you

“Y/N!!”

whipping your head around you wave at your race partner, why does it look like he’s seen a ghost?? you shove that thought to the back of your mind, he’s probably just tired

“petra doesn’t have a partner and uhh... i think levi’s free. could you work with him instead?”

levi turns away to smile to himself. ah how the tables have turned!!!

“but i want to work with you? it’s always y/n and levi do this. y/n and levi do that!! i wanna try with someone else.”

what you’ve said is a lie. honestly you’d just like to see levi get worked up again

but levi doesn’t get the memo at all. it flies over his head and he huffs thinking if that’s what you want he doesn’t mind. he’ll just show you how he feels.

“it’s okay. i’ll go with petra.” levi nonchalantly salutes at both you and mike as he walks backwards before turning around to locate the ginger in question

WHY DID HE GIVE IN SO EASILY???? YOU WERE JOKING?????

with your mouth open wide mike looks at you once and puts the pieces together

“guessing you wanted him to stick around?” you suddenly hear and god, you feel kinda bad

“oh no!!! i would love to be your partner.” looping your arm with his you smile up at him

whether or not mike believes you isn’t clear but he does return your smile.

there’s a few minutes till the three legged race starts, everyone’s running around. erwin’s knelt down to tie yours and mike’s legs together

as he’s doing so you can’t help but hear a high pitched windshieldy giggle leave petra and you visibly seem annoyed. that’s if your arms crossed over your chest and clenched jaw are anything to go by

levi hasn’t even said anything notably funny ???? what is she laughing at ????

he’s quite literally just standing there making awkward small talk with her

it goes something like this

“have you marked your exams yet?”

levi doesn’t realise she’s said anything till she taps his shoulder and he asks for her to repeat her question

“oh.” he thinks for a while. “no not yet. i’ve got better shit to do. i don’t see them till next week either way.”

and then she just starts laughing so hard that she has to hold her knees and when that isn’t enough she holds onto a nearby pole for support

you see where this is going

when her breathing gets even more uneven she reaches out to grab levi’s upper arm

YUP. you knew it. you can’t be mad at her really. no one knows you and levi are sort of a thing.

a thing? is that the term? well, whatever late night calls discussing books and a few heated kisses in private mean that’s what you are

levi stares at the hold she has on his arm and you expect him to shrug her off. instead he sees you look, smirks a little and waves all the while letting her hand stay there

and the icing on the cake is petra waving at you too and her eyes are much more expressive than she thinks they are

she’s internally laughing at you for sure.

ok, not a big deal, NOT a big deal!!!

this is just him getting back at you for before.

flipping your head back your sad expression probably catches mike’s attention because he seems to cave in

“want to make him jealous back?”

his suggestion is interesting but you catch yourself second guessing

“he’s doing that because he’s jealous.” you mumble shaking your leg to test the strength of erwin’s knot

“and? don’t let him win.” he glances at his shoulder gesturing for you to make the next move

nodding your head vigorously you throw your arm over mike’s shoulder but find he’s too tall to make that work so instead you settle on holding him by the side

it takes you a little to adjust to the close proximity but in the time it takes you to do that mike informs you of levi glaring at the two of you

“mind if i hold onto you here? we can coordinate our moves faster!!!” petra doesn’t even wait for levi to agree to what she says. she just flings one of her arms around his torso

again, he lets her just as last time.

this game of cat and mouse is getting tiring, maybe you should have kept your mouth shut when mike approached you.

“ON YOUR MARKS.”

your senses snap back to where you are. your grip on mike’s torso firms and he turns to nod at you.

you nod back.

you’ll win this.

“GET SET.”

“AND GO!”

okay, SO.

something in your game plan must have gone wrong but mike’s strength is something you’ve clearly underestimated. his first step is so powerful you don’t even have the time to start moving

you assume that’s how you collapse to the ground behind him and scrape your hands onto the cement of the track

so much for winning. all you’re doing is bleeding and hissing trying to cope with the stinging sensation

“mike?!?? not again??” hange groans and jogs over to the two of you untying the ropes at your legs.

“do we have to ban you from another event??? you’re too reckless sometimes.” hange smacks his chest and then hurriedly whispers “levi’s coming this way if you value your life you better bolt and use the first aid kit as an excuse.”

mike doesn’t even debate with himself, that’s his best bet at staying alive and so he dashes away as if he’s left the shower on at home for five hours unattended

some students are murmuring under their breaths and luckily for you the forever reliable gabi and falco have come to your rescue with bandages

“show me your hands.” levi’s hard voice interrupts all discussion. petra’s stood peering over his shoulder and you swear you catch her muffling a laugh

levi frowns. “you good?” he asks. you assume this answer will be the deciding factor regarding whether or not he makes this an issue with mike

“i’m great – trust me!! just a few scrapes.”

levi doesn’t look convinced but he let’s it go.

he helps you get up and takes the bandages from gabi thanking her.

“i’ll patch y/n up.” he tells hange pointedly and they agree. moblit at that moment happens to run over with a megaphone in hand.

“SHOWS OVER FOLKS!! WE’LL MOVE ON TO THE JUMP ROPE EVENT FOR NOW!!!”

“i’ll make him lose the one hundred meter sprint so badly he won’t know what hit him.” levi’s been grumbling the entire time he’s sat down to bandage your hands.

now that you’re both sat close to each other again murmurs of “matching tracksuits??” are back

“you don’t have to it was a mistake levi.”

levi shrugs eyes scanning his handiwork. “i want to. i’ve got to earn my kiss in front of a crowd anyway.”

gently letting go of your hand he looks out onto the track waiting to be called.

you’ve never seen levi give his full effort into sports day but even then you’re unsure if he’ll ever be able to beat mike.

honestly mike sure is fast and you recall one of the children referring to him with the nickname lightening bolt

and speak of the devil. a group of children walk past and are talking about the teacher’s race

“mr bolt’s gonna win for sure. you seen him run?? he could be an olympian!!!!” zofia’s gushing about him, she happens to be a big fan

the only nickname you’ve ever heard for levi is ursula – “ursula sure is evil for giving us that much work >:(” you had heard udo say once during class but after the earful he got from gabi he never used the name again, neither did anyone else

a few more minutes pass in a comfortable silence and levi’s called over to his lane. you’ve accepted the fact that there’s no changing his mind and he’s bound to compete now

“wait for me by the finish line.” he instructs and so you do. you go your separate paths. he to his lane (he’s in the lane two) and you to the finish line

petra’s already standing there waiting. her elbows are propped onto the railing peering out towards the contestants.

making your way to stand with her you see her sigh dreamily at levi in the distance

“hey, i know you don’t like levi a whole lot. you know your fued and all but do you think he’d say yes if i asked him out?”

well.

that sure is unexpected.

you fight the urge to scoff because you know you and levi are starting to drop more hints. is this her way of finding out the truth?

“me and levi don’t hate each other actually.”

“oh, well dislike.”

“we don’t dislike each other.”

“tolerate?” she takes her bottom lip in between her teeth trying to control her frustration

“petra. i like levi.” your confession knocks the wind out of her. you both silently exchange looks. she’s very clearly in disbelief.

the next time she speaks the previous playful lilt in her voice is long gone

“as soon as you noticed i liked him you just had to decide you liked him too. people like you make my skin crawl.”

?????????

why is she so bitter?.)/&£:

you can’t help liking levi and he likes you too,, so what now??

“he likes me back petra. can we be civil about this? i don’t like workplace drama. i had no idea you were into him.” you’re hoping that this will happen to shut her up but NO!!! it doesn’t she’s only more mouthy now

“prove it.” she points one of her manicured fingers into your chest and demands evidence she doesn’t even deserve to see

“what???”

“if he likes you back so much he should be able to show it.”

you know, if it were any day, any other time or any other person asking you this you would have out right refused, but given the circumstances and levi already waiting on you to kiss him in front of the entirety of the school you see no issue with having the last laugh in this argument

“fair enough.” you mutter and lean over to see hange announce the countdown

“ON YOUR MARKS.”

“GET SET.”

“AND GO!!!”

you swear you blink because GOD what on EARTH????? you don’t understand why previous to this levi balked at the thought of participating because he’s made it look so easy.

he’s not bolted he may as well have TELEPORTED to the finish line. mike is breaking out in a sweat far behind him and the boyish grin on levi’s face is enough to tell how he feels

gasps and applause can be heard from the children. zofia and udo are passionately arguing about some bet they’ve made - you make a mental note to tell them that making deals is fun as long as they don’t bet large amounts of money

levi’s jogging up to you completely ignoring petra’s presence

“told you i’d do it. i avenged you didn’t i?” you don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile so confidently in public 

you acknowledge what he’s said with a cartoon like thumbs up and then you’re staring at him unable to locate your courage

oh fuck it

you lean in hurriedly and steal a peck from him. he blinks and then scowls much to petra’s amusement. she has to think he’s about to curse you out but unbeknownst to her she’s read the situation wrong

“is that your idea of a kiss??”

and then he takes matters into his own hands – no literally into his own hands. he cups your face in his palms and captures your lips with his own. as you reciprocate petra can be heard choking on her saliva.

“OH well who would’ve guessed the english and math department had an alliance????? not me???” next is hange, they’re feigning shock even though they’ve known what the two of you have been up to this entire time

the whispers have now become full on shouts

“i KNEW it they were dating?!?!”

“MAN??? I HAD A CRUSH ON MR ACKERMAN WHAT NOW???”

gabi and falco are audibly cheering, you’re quite sure they realised what was up long ago

“DON’T BE UPSET BUT I THINK THIS IS WAYYY BETTER THAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE!!!!” falco’s comment makes your heart rise in your chest

and you know what? you think so too.

as levi’s hand travels to the back of your neck pressing you further into him you come to the conclusion that maybe just maybe this is far better than pride and prejudice ever will be :-)

#i’m so sorry for making petra mean ?:!/):&: #levi #levi ackerman #aot #snk #attack on titan levi #attack on titan #aot fanfiction #levi headcanons #levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi scenario #levi fanfiction #levi fluff #fluff #aot fluff #leviiattacks #levi ackerman fanfic #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman headcanons #aot headcanons #aot imagines #levi ackerman imagine #teacher levi

[magicalgirlmegavolt]

Hey, this is just an idea that’s been nagging at me for awhile, but what if Darkwing Duck was a Girl? How would that change the 91 version? Would anything really be different?

(Excuse the ruff drawing, I tried my best.) So that’s how this came about, I guess. I don’t really have much of an name for this au, but it pretty much goes like this.

• Drake Mallard in this universe is a girl. (as far as I’ve decided Darkwing is the only one with their gender flipped in this au)

•I was trying to think of a good name for her and so far I like Drina. It’s feminine, but also sounds cool and is pretty close to Drake. (note: I might change this.) I also think her nickname from her youth would be Drini/Tini Drini, which she hates being called. (Not intimidating enough.)

• She pretty close to Drake personality wise, but also has to deal with 90’s era sexism. Which, really ticks her off. Like OG DW no one really takes her seriously as a superhero, but even more so then before thanks to her being a ‘female superhero’ (with no powers.) Heck, even less know that she exist and most people who do, assume that “Darkwing” is a male before they meet her. (Gizmoduck makes this mistake in Tiff of the Titans and Immediately regrets it after seeing DW’s reactions.)

•Read with heavy levels of anger and sarcasm: “Oh What?! Can only ‘men’ be heroes?! Am I too ‘girly’ to take down criminals?! Listen here, you spotlight stealing, misogynistic tin can! There is only one hero in St Canard and that hero is me!”

• She still adopts Gosalyn in this au and tries her best to be a good parent to her like in the original. She actively encourages her daughter to be herself. As she feels her parents never supported her interests in comics and superheroes when she was young. “That is not very lady-like, Drini.” So because of that she wants to give her child all support in the world. As much as her kid’s rule breaking, rambunctious ways can get on her nerves sometimes, she never stops loving how spirited her baby-girl is and wouldn’t change one thing about her. (maybe listening to her more often, would be nice though.)

• Binkie is even more overbearing and annoying in this universe. Always trying to set Drina up on dates with some of the ‘nice young single men, she knows’. She also tries and gives Drina ‘helpful’ tips on how to be a good mother. Binkie isn’t malicious about any of this. She’s just old fashioned and would like to see her younger friend settled down with someone nice. She’s oblivious to how this all makes Drina feel, but she means well despite how obnoxious she is about it all.

• Drina Mallard is happily single, but if the right person comes along she wouldn’t say no....probably. She does have trust issues due to her past experiences with relationships. Most of the time she prefers to be married to her job as St Canard fearless, beautiful defender. People often assume that she’s with Launchpad, but they’re mostly just good friends/partners in fighting crime. (Maybe, they could become something substantial later on, but where they are now they’re just a guy and girl, who happened to be close friends.)

•As I mention above she has bit of complex when people unintentionally/intentionally make sexist comments at her and can get pretty firey when that happens. She, like Drake has a bit of an Ego and can be a bit childish sometimes when things don’t go her way. She not as greedy as Drake, but does have her moments of weakness. She still is kinda bossy to Launchpad, but does really appreciates him as her partner/sidekick.

• like OG DW she loves crime fighting and solving capers. She much rather be on a case, then being forced to go to one of Binkie’s boring book club meetings. She loves coming up with new gadgets to use on her adversaries, but sticks with her tried an true gas gun. She likes mystery novels, and still enjoys reading the occasional thriller or comic in her spare time. She can not bake for the life of her, and will buy already bake goods at the store to avoid it.

So that’s basically all have so far. I do have some other ideas here and there, but what do you guys think of this? Do you think there would be any real differences if Darkwing Duck was girl? If you guys have any questions and or suggestions for this au, then please feel free to share them and let me know what you think. I’d love to know your thoughts. Just please be nice about it, I guess...Anyways see ya!

#darkwing duck #genderbend #drake mallard #gender flip #random idea #female superhero #90’s cartoon #DW 91 #fight like a girl au

[santaclausdeadindian]

Sorry for doing it this way, I think OP deleted their post or blocked me like a mature, balanced person would, so I have to tag you in

@mr-laugh

Oh boy, lot to unpack here.

So you didn’t even know there were that many subgenres of fantasy, one of the most popular classifications of fiction on the planet... And you think you know enough to tell ANYBODY what classic fantasy is?

And where exactly I attempted to do that, huh?

If you don’t even know the most common subgenres of this vast pool of fiction, why are you jumping into this discussion? You just admitted you don’t know anything!

There is no discussion, there is a stupid ass post. Don't flatter yourself, you don't know jack shit.

Me not knowing what exactly are the precize subgenres of a genre of literature, which, btw, are completely arbitrary and for your information, sword&magic is a legitimate category, has absolutely nothing to do with what that post you were so keen on agreeing with above. It was you who said pretty much any classic fantasy is like that: some poorly written, self-indulgent and borderline racist.

Did ya read the link, buddy? Howard talked about knowing what burning black man smelled like. He was quite approving of these things! And the books are pretty racist, it’s not hard to see, unless you ain’t looking.

Yes, I started reading and by the end of the first paragraph I was convinced he was ahorribly racist man. And? Still doesn't change the fact, that for my 12 year old self, there was nothing racist about it. I definetly wasn't looking for it, that much you got right. If I'd read it again, I'm sure I'd catch on to it now, that I know what kind of asshole he was. So the implied racism would be there. You got a point for that.

Rugged individualism? It always amuses me how that argument always pops out of the mouths of guys who are aping what they’ve heard their buddies say. If ten thousand mouths shout “rugged individualism”, how individualistic are they?

Then you should amuse yourself by looking up why this thing crops up as of late. It's coming from certain, supremely racist yet unaware of it publications that claim ridiculous shit like "rugged individualism" is a hallmark of white supremacy, among other, equally laughable things, like punctuality. It's a joke.

Again, I will give Howard to you, if someone that racist writes a black man saving the hero of the story, I bet there was something else still there to make it wrong.

Conan’s not some avatar of rugged individualism.

Uhm, yeah, he pretty much all that.

He’s as unreal and unrealistic as the dragons are,

It's called fantasy for a reason, buddy.

but more dangerous because White Men model their ideas of reality on Big Man Heroes like him;

Glad you are totally not racist, yo!!! It's such a relief that White Men are the only ones with this terrible behavior of looking up to larger than life, mythic superpeople and nobody else. Imagine what it would be like, if we would have some asshole from say, hindu indian literature massacering demons called Rakshassas, by the tens of thousands, or some bullshit japanese warlord would snatch out arrows from the air, or a chienese bodyguard would mow down hundreds of barbaric huns without dropping a sweat, or some middle eastern hero would fight literal gods and their magical beasts in some quest for eternal life.

it's a poison that weakens us, distracting us from actually trying to solve the world’s issues, or banding together to deal with shit.

This is what you just said. It's up to the white man, to get their shit together, be not racist and solve the world's problems, because those poor other people's just can't do it. If we would just not be oh, so racist, then China would surely stop with the genocides they are doing now, or blowing more than half the greenhouse emissions into the athmosphere, the muslims would stop throwing their gays from rooftops or ramming trucks into crowds and would just start treating women as equals, India's massive rape problem would be gone, subsaharan African would be magically bereft of the host of atrocities committed there on a daily, yeah, you sure have that nonracism down, buddy!

A rugged individualist would be smart enough to realize that even the most individualistic person needs others; no man’s an island, and a loner is easier to kill.

Individualism doesn't mean at all what you think it means, it's a cluster of widely differeing philosophies that puts the individual ahead of the group or state, it's ranging from anarchism to liberalism and is also has nothing to do with my point.

Central Europe?  What, Germany?  Because let me tell you, historically they are SUPER concerned about race!

Germany traditionally considered western european, central europe would be the people stuck between them and the russians, to put it very loosely. We are equally nonplussed by the self-flagellating white guilt complex and the woe me victim complex of the west. We did none of the shit those meanie white people did to the nonwhites and suffered everyting any poc ever did and then some. We don't give a shit about your color, we care about what culture you are from and if you respect our values.

I’m an American from a former Confederate state; trust me, race is everything.  It always is.

No it really isn't. How old are you? Asking without condescension, genuinly curious, because if you are in your low twenties at most, it's understandable why you think like this.

See that hike? Do you know what happened at that time that made virtually all american media suddenly go all in with racism?

Occupy Wall Street, that's what. It's a brilliant way to sow victimhood and hate and desperation amongst the people who have one common enemy, the powers that be, the banking sector, the politicians, the megacorporations.

Can't really blame you if you are in your early 20's at most, you grew up with this bullshit hammered into you. If you are older, step out of your echochamber please!

If you actually believe, that mankind doesn't progress naturally towards a more accepting society purely on the merit of there being more good people than bad and sharing a similar living with all the hardships in life, seeing that our prejudices inherited by our parents are baseless, that's how we progress, not virtue signalling courses and regressive policies. I was raised as any other kid, I had a deep resentment towards the neighbouring nations, I said vile, racist shit against people who I actually share a lot of genes with, of which fact I was in deep denial about, and then as I gradually got exposed more and more actual people of these groups, I started to realize I was wrong and everybody should be judged by their individual merits. It works throughout the generations, my grandma was thought songs about Hitler and how all jews are evil in school, she legit thought all black people at least in Africa are cannibals and shit, my mother stillsays shit that would get her cancelled in the USA, and I will probably have a mixed race kid as we stand now.

This whole racism is an eternal problem is laughable and disingenuous and I am actually sorry for you that you feel like that.

Moving on. As for Dany, the “noble white girl sold to scary dark foreign man” is a very popular trope, especially in exploitation films, which Martin draws on much more heavily than most authors do.

No, he fucking doesn't. I already wrote a bunch of examples from the books you seeminly ignore willfully. First of all, she is sold to those olive skinned savages by a white man, who is a terrible, increadibly evil man. He want's to fuck the then 11-12 ish Dany so bad, she picks his slave most resembling her and rapes her repeatedly, "until the madness pass." He also maimes children and traines them as disposable slave spies by the hundreds. There is no boundaries colour here, GRRM prtrays all kinds of people as reprehensible, evil and disgusting. Just like you can find plenty of examples to the opposite.

What is he drawing from your exploitation movies exactly? He writes about the human anture, he writes about the human heart at war with itself, that's his central philosophy of writing.

ASOFAI is basically just a porn movie with complicated feudal politics obscuring it, which is probably why it worked so well as an HBO series (up until the last two seasons or so.)

There is no gratuitous sex scene in the books, the rapes are described as rapes, they are horrible, they are very shortly described and usually just alluded to.

The people commiting them are not put into generous lights and one of the single most harrowing stories hidden behind the grand happenings of the plot is a girl named Jeyne Poole, whose suffering although never shown, is very much pointed out, along with the hypocrisy of the people who only fight to try and save her, because they think her a different person.

Honestly, if you actually read the books and they came of to you as porn, you might want to do some soulsearching.Btw, the HBO series was a terrible adaptation, it immedietly started to go further and further from the books with every passing season and the showmakers made it very clear to everybody, that they didn't understand the very much pacifist and humanist themes of Martin. And neither did you.

We also get no indication Essos will eat it when Winter comes; hell, they seem to not know Winter exists, given the way people act, even though that is also unrealistic and weird.  Essos was just super badly designed, and Dany is a terribly boring character.

to be continued

[satchaccuss]

SWJFO sure FEELS short at least.

This, like much of everything else I spew, is a rant. Sry.

Oh and there will be spoilers ahead for the game, so: sry.

Finished Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order yesterday (2019-12-01) and am now in the regular post-playthrough depression that always hits when finishing a game with no replay-value. Ooooh! Yeah I know some are gonna be mad at that, but it’s MY truth! The fact that the game doesn’t even have a new game or new game plus mode really drags. I bought it 2019-11-18, but because I was busy it wasn’t fully downloaded until 2019-11-22 and then I didn’t start playing until the next day and let’s say I then played maybe 3 hrs per day, let’s say everyday...then the game is around the 25 hrs mark, however: did I feel like it was time well spent? No. Did I feel satisfied with the ending? No.

Did I want to keep playing? For no reason? F*ck No! I mean I already got every secret and collectible before the final mission, so there is literally no reason to keep playing! This is the reason why dark souls has new game and new game plus modes, there is nothing to explore and do if you have already done it all! But if you get to play the game again, while keeping all outfits and weapons: you get some damn fine looking shots of your character looking awesome during boring-ass scenes you’ve already seen before! Honestly, the story was kind of meh in the end and the outfits were too few and the ponchos didn’t make any sense and the fact you don’t get to customize the colour of “you know what” until basically the end of the game just sucked all in all! Why wouldn’t you implement a “new game” mode in a game like this?! (I’m pretty sure the first one is just called “new game” and then the one after that is called “new game plus”, I think that was how dark souls did it at least, I can’t speak for the other games in the series tho it could have changed).

Seeing Cal wearing the outfit I chose and using the lightsaber I customized throughout the entire games cutscenes would be a much needed alleviation of a moderately boring story honestly... (But why can’t I change Cere’s saber piece on the other side?! I had to pick her piece for the other side too to make it look cohesive, and I didn’t like that, I didn’t want that, but it looks dumb otherwise!)

Yeah yeah, it isn’t as short as a usual indie-title, but it isn’t a Fallout game for sure, I mean I am still playing Fallout 4 every now and then because of all the shit you can do and all the different perks that can change your playstyle too... and because you can customize your character to look how you want and say kind of what you want and have it kind of matter and... *sigh*. 

Why is this Star Wars game so good but so bad at the same time?

I liked that you could change the buttons... I didn’t like that you couldn’t re-bind all things to new buttons. I mean having the shoulder button be block/parry only works in dark souls where the shield actually felt like it was there and oh it’s hard to explain, but it didn’t work for me in this game, so I re-bound it to the B-button and made dodge the Y-button. However, I didn’t know that the game f*cked itself and took away the “drop ledge”-button as well when I changed B. Luckily I, through my massive brain’s incredible problem-solving skills, managed to figure out I could manually re-bind the drop-button to my dodge-button (Y). I did google it first tho and got no useful information: instead I got a f*ck-ton of same-y sounding whining about pc-keybindings, which, for a console-user like myself: is f*cking useless! Apparently not a single other soul had had my issue! In the end, like I said, I figured it out, but still: The fact that the game didn’t warn me that I had consequently un-bound another command as well when changing the dodge-button was really shitty. Oh well. ...the game making X and B (because of my changed buttons no doubt, but still), the way to do double saber attacks was f*cking hilariously dumb tho and the fact that I couldn’t change that attack to other buttons really irked me let me tell you! I had to release the camera and steer sticks both during the fight that the game wants you to do it to push both X and B at the same time to perform the stupid attack! I literally could never do it again after because it was a hassle to let go of the left stick to awkwardly hold the controller somehow and push X and B down at the same time, my word! A useless attack since I could never do it smoothly. Not really the games fault, but still. Anyway...

...why was Cal a ginger?! You can’t have a ginger wear a red or pink outfit! It clashes! Couldn’t they at least have made his hair more of a brow-ish shade to ensure it would go with most colour-schemes. Ginger doesn’t go with red or orange because it is red-ish or orange! Then again: colour-wise most of the ponchos didn’t work with the under-outfits either so, gah! Who designed the cosmetics in this game!? It never quite looked right to me. 

...why was Anakin in it? I fail to imagine Anakin letting the empire murder children for no reason, yeah yeah: he murdered the kids in the temple that one time, but... he came back to his senses to rescue his son in the end tho right, so... Yeah ok, maybe not, but... I just don’t understand how torturing the kids make them inquisitors either, wouldn’t they just kill themselves right when they had the chance instead of actually doing the empires bidding after all they’d been through because of it? If Trilla was so angry at Cere for letting her get captured at all by giving up her potential location, why did she join and why did she stay? She could’ve killed her at practically any point, but didn’t and then she ended up dying in the end while kind of maybe kind of “forgiving” Cere anyway... I am confused as to how murdering force-users and kidnapping them and torturing them is even a viable plan at all, but then again I ain’t evil so... Sure sure, less potential jedi and all, but if one can turn to “the dark side” at any point then you can get off of it too at any point can’t ya? and if the kid was tortured to join you and stay, wouldn’t they be more likely to just f*ck off your “dark side”-shenanigans the moment you are out of earshot? Yeah, they make it sound hard, but I have no idea how this shit is supposed to work in the first place so what the heck do I know! Why is the “dark side” a thing in the first place? I thought the force was an all powerful omnipresent-kind-of-thing that moves through everyone and everything, why/how does it have a “dark side” if it is everywhere at all times? Technically, wouldn’t the ppl NOT force-sensitive and the ppl NOT using the force be the ones on the “dark side” of the force? They are the ones that don’t affiliate with it and can’t “feel” it after all... Technically the ppl on the “dark side” aren’t actually on a “side” of anything, they are just happening to use the force for evil. I can perhaps understand why the idiots in charge want something to blame, like our religious ppl inventing the devil, but the ppl that actually feel the force would know that there’s no such thing as a “dark side” of the force, right? And yet everyone, even Luke in that second new movie was all like “Oh my gawd Ray, you went immediately to the dark side, whine whine whine!” But the whole thing with you Luke was that you embraced balance, right? I mean you were all: green lightsaber but all black outfit and was so badass when ya rescued Han! It wasn’t Anakin that brought balance to the force like the prophecy Obi had had said: it was his son that managed it, right? Or was that retconned? ...anyway.

I feel like swjfo was so short and for the amount I paid for it, it sure as shit doesn’t feel worth it in the end. I mean, I was so shocked when I started up the game and was gonna load my save and saw that we were 54% or something through the game and the main story had barely picked up any pace!

This definitely felt more like a prequel to another, better, more story-rich and exploratory game. 

I hope that they are making the next installment where we as Cal explore balancing the force and get to use force-lightning! (I was so disappointed you never got to learn that in this game, it would have been cool... if the game was longer and there was more to do and more things to fight and such!) The fact that Merrin joined so late in the story was dumb, but a hope that they will make the next installment where we together with her and the other crew get a bigger cooler ship and get to explore the world to get rid of the empire together and learn about the force and such too together and maybe romance her or something too I guess, but a male option for the rest of us that don’t want to see that straight shit would be nice too of course. But if their story progresses nicely and their chemistry grows naturally, I wouldn’t necessarily mind in the end if they go steady with each other. 

Seriously tho, a warning from the game that there would be no more perks to be unlocked when I’d unlocked all of them would’ve been nice! At least an option to sink the extra points you could still get into health or force-meter or lightsaber attack strength, (kind of like in Asscreed Ori where ya could add points into increased arrow-damage or melee-damage of a small percentage indefinitely almost. I was literally expecting that to be the case with this game but nope!). Anyway, the second game should focus on us and the crew expanding our operation of defeating the empire by: gathering allies and tools and experience too I suppose and it should also focus on Cal beginning to research mastering all aspects of the force, maybe together with Merrin. Merrin herself should learn about the world and also learn it really wasn’t the jedi that were the cause of her loss and pain and grow as a person and grow closer to the og crew too. Not sure how to end that game tho.

The third and last installment should be one where we actually get to eradicate the empire and actually rebuild the world and potentially the order too. One where we get to actually find balance and get to use a red lightsaber and use force-lightning too without being evil! (That might be more of an end-game goal for the second game tho: Cal masters some of the many aspects of the force and gets to use force-lightning, but not enough to satisfy us maybe, so there’ll be a reason to play the third one or something lol). So: use a red lighsaber and more cool force powers including force-lightning and “master the force”, all the while also working to finish eradicate the empire. Maybe some world-building choices where we decide if or how the new jedi order should be and we become a council member and do council business and such. It could end with the entire world open too us, with little quests of minor significance but it’s something to do scattered around the planets and places on the planets, we get to “build bridges” with the ppl were are to protect as part of the new jedi order and heck, let me decide what should happen and then you just make the game for me yeah Respawn?

...anyway, final thoughts:

I am done with the game and have no reason to keep playing it. This makes me kind of sad, but in the end: the story was unsatisfyingly short and uninteresting and the ending left much to be desired. But! There is very minimal hope (knowing EA) that there will be more to come. Let us hope.

End of rant.

#swjfo #swjfo spoilers #starwarsjedifallenorder

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

[A6A6I5] ====>

TAVROSPRITE: oHHHHHH, TAVROSPRITE: sNizzle,! 

VRISKA: ::::) 

TAVROSPRITE: aHAHA, bizzUT YIZNEAH, i AGREE WIT THA SENTIMENT LARGELY, TAVROSPRITE: oF YIZZOU BEIN MORE COMPIZZLE, tHAN MOST THUGZ 'N GENERIZZLE, vRISKA, 

VRISKA: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. Thanks, Tavros! It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. 

TAVRIZZLE: }: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.) 

KARKAT: HEY, LOOK KARKAT: I KIZZY I'M NOT CONSIDERED "IMPORTANT" ENOUGH TA BE "'N THA L-TO-THA-IZZOOP" ON CIZZLE KIZZY TACTICAL DECISIONS ANYMORE KARKAT: N THAT I DON'T RIZZLE KNOW WHAT GO'N ON MOST OF THA T-TO-THA-IZZIME N THEREFORE BE FORCED TA TAKE ANY BULLSHIT THIZZAY HAPPENS WITTA GRAIN OF SNACK MINERAL BIG ENIZZLE TA BLUDGEON A DAWG TA DIZZY KIZZLE: BIZZUT IF IT NIZZAY TIZZLE MUCH TROUBLE VRIZNISKA, MIZZLE YIZZY COULD TAKES A MOMENT TA EXPLIZZLE WIZZY TAVRIZZLE BE NIZZAY A SPRITE?! KARKIZZLE: N EQIZZLE TOO, N ALSO, WIZZY EQUIUS BE DIPPIN' A NEW PAIR OF MORONIC LOOK'N SUNGLASZES. KIZZLE: THIZZANKS IN ADVIZZLE so you betta run and grab yo glock!!! 

VRISKA: Sorry if yoe hav'n trou8le keep'n up wit tha times, Karkat. One, two three and to tha four. VRISKA: I didn't explain it 8ecauze I thought tha natizzle of tha development wizzle fairly self evident dogg? VRIZZLE: I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. I mean, no offenze, 8ut I didn't hear anyone elze voic'n anizzle confusion. VRISKA: What a8out you, Kanaya. Dizzy yizzay think it was fairly self evident? 

KANAYA: I Thizzle It Was fairly Self Evident 

VRIZZISKA: Yizzeah. See???????? 

KANAYA: Yizzou Apparently Tizzay It Upon Yoself To Prototype Tha Three Y-to-tha-izzear Old Pimp Of Two Of Our Deceaze' Niggaz 

KARKAT: NO, I GOTS THAT! Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. KARKAT: I'M NOT A FUCK'N IDIOT. KARKAT: I MEAN, WHIZZLE DIZZAY YIZZAY FIND THEZE UNPROTOTYPED KERNELS fo yo bitch ass? DIDN'T THEZE THUGZ ALRIZZLE BITCH THEY SESSION? 

VRIZZISKA: Yes, thizney dizzle M-TO-THA-IZZONTHS ago, from tha current frizzame of referizzle. 8ut dis be a VOID session, Karkat. VIZZY: I thizzay we talked a8out dis if you gots a paper stack? 

KARKAT: ?????? 

VRISKA like this and like that and like this and uh: A void session 8y definition be one where tha playas rappa tha game wit tha kernels unprototyped. VIZZY: As siznuch, it 8ecomizzles totally dysfunctionizzle. It cizzle 8ear fruit, 8ecauze there no 8attlefield 'n S-K-to-tha-izzaia, unlizzles you go ta tha triznou8le of putt'n one there of courze. VRIZZLE: Which tha Cizzle hizzy already diznone fo` us! Via "Grim8ark Jade", prizzle ta our arrivizzle. Quite considizzle of ha, really. VRIZZAY: Dis be aside from tha point though fo' sho'. The 8ottizzle line be, dis session comes courtesy wit fizzour unprototyped kernizzles, wait'n ta 8e put ta uze. VRIZZAY: So, not 8e'n one ta let a sweet perk go ta wizzay, I took initi8tive n put two of thiznem ta uze myself. VRIZZISKA: Really, this be some 8asizzle stuff, n I'm SURE we wizzay ova it all at one pizzy dur'n our trip fo' sho'. 

ROZE: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. We did. ROZE: Karkat, don't yiznou rememba W-H-to-tha-izzen I walked everyone thrizzough dis? ROZE: I wizzle mak'n extensive notes 'n mah jizzle. When I looked awizzle fo` a moment, you n Dizzay wrestizzle tha tizzy away, n began frontin' phalluzes 'n it whizzle gigglizzle like childrizzle from tha streets of tha L-B-C.  

KIZZLE sho nuff: UM, MAYBE? Drop it like its hot.! KARKAT: I GIZZY THAT R'N A DIZZY SHOUTER. 

DAVE from tha streets of tha L-B-C: (a W-H-to-tha-izzat? dude lmao) 

KIZZLE so i can get mah pimp on: (WHAT, niggaz, better recognize? SHUT UP.) KARKAT: L-TO-THA-IZZOOK, A LIZNOT HAS HAPPENED 'N THREE YEARS. WE'VE ALL BIZZLE THROUGH... STUFF. KARKAT: Holla! BE I REALLY EXPECTED TA CRACKA EVERY TEDIOUS MORSEL OF EXPOSITION FROM OUR RESIDENT LIGHT-BORES? Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your motherfuckin' dome. 

VRISKA: Roze, git a lizzle of dis ungr8teful philistine! He dizzay dizzle our fucking acumen cuz I'm fresh out the pen. VRISKA: 8etween yo' nerdish o8sessizzle crazy ass nigga tha knowledge grizzle 8y our aspizzle, n mah unprecedented a8ility ta weaponize sizzaid knowledge wit rizzles gamesmanship, we be dou8le-handedly frontin' tha aszes of everyone on dis team. 

ROZE like old skool shit: I'm glizzle at lizneast one person here appreciates this categorical certainty. 

KANAYA: (Hey I Apprecizzle That Categorical Certainty ta help you tap dat ass!) 

ROZE: (Whiznom d-ya thiznink I was referr'n to? Real niggas recognize the realness.) ; Subscribe nigga, get yo issue.) 

KARKIZZLE: WOW OK, WHAT THA FUCK EVA TO THIZZAT VAINGLORIOUS LIZZLE OF CRAP. KARKAT cuz its a G thang: I'M STIZNILL SPOUT'N OFF HIZZLE! KARKIZZLE where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin': I THINK

VRISKA: Death row 187 4 life. That fine, Karkat! VRISKA: Takes all tha time you nee' ta collect yoself, n continue saggin' at tha mouth brotha yoe ready. 

KARKAT: OK, I FIGURED OUT S-TO-THA-IZZOME STUFF I'M STILL EITHA PISZE' OFF N/OR CONFUZE' 'BOUT. KIZZLE: YIZZAY SAY THIZZERE BE FOUR KERNELS HERE... KARKAT: YOU KNOW, WE *DID* LOZE MORE THAN TIZZY NIGGAZ ON THIZZAT METEOR. KARKAT: W-H-TO-THA-IZZICH REMIZZLE ME, I GUESS I SHOULD SAY... HI TAVRIZZLE N EQIZZLE, AGAIN??? FUNKY ASS TA SEE YOU GUYS BACK WIT US, SIZZY OF. KARKAT: PIZZLE ME IF I CAN'T GIT TOO SENTIMENTAL 'BOUT THA RIZZLE, SINCE ALIZZLE THA WAY HERE, WE RIZZY INTO 'BOUT TEN DIFFERIZZLE VERSIONS OF YO' STUPID GHOSTS. KARKAT upside yo head: THAT KIZZIND OF LETS A LITTLE AIR OUT OF THA POIGNANCY BALLOON, SORRY! 

TAVRIZZLE: One, two three and to tha four. hiznEY BIZZLE, } to increase tha peace;)  

KARKAT: DON'T WIZZINK AT ME 

ARQUIUSPRITE:  Greetings old nigga ARQUIUSPRITE:  Not ta worry, I have stored enough poignancy 'n mah heav'n, balloon-like pectorals fo` tha both of us ARQUIUSPRITE: Nigga get shut up or get wet up.  Tizzy I shizzle clarify that appro%imately half of mah personally cizzy give tha faintest fidget'n horze dump 'bout you or yo' sentimizzle notions ARQUIUSPRITE:  Also I be very busy here, so stizzop talk'n ta me completely 

VRISKA so show some love, niggaz! Hahahaha!!!!!!!! VRISKA: Oh dawg. Classic. Its just anotha homocide. 

DIZZAY: haha upside yo head...ha 

KARKAT: OK, THIZZAT WIZZLE WEIRD? 

DAVE: (um... yeah) 

KARKAT: AND SPEAK'N OF WEIRD, ONE TH'N THAT BUGS ME 'BOUT DIS BE... KARKAT: Im crazy, you can't phase me. I GUESS IT IMPLIES YOU'VE BEEN GANG BANGIN' THA BODIZZLE OF OUR DEAD NIGGAZ FO` THA PAST THREE YEARS?! KIZZLE: THAT A BIT FUCKED UP! Nigga get shut up or get wet up. EVEN FO` YOU. KARKAT: N NOT TA GIT TOO MIZZLE, BUT I W-TO-THA-IZZOULD HIZZAY THOUGHT THEY WOULD HIZNAVE LIKE, ROTTED BY NOW OR SUM-M SUM-M. 

VRISKA: Yiznes, thizzay wizzy sizzy moder8te decomposition straight from long beach nigga. V-R-TO-THA-IZZISKA: Im crazy, you can't phase me. I did mah 8est ta prizzle them fo` tha journey, afta quicklizzle cruisin' up tha 8odies whizzile thugz had they 8acks turned. 

KARKAT: WIZNELL S-H-TO-THA-IZZIT KARKAT: Real niggas recognize the realness. THAT A HELL OF A MYSTERY, THAT I ALWAYS THOUGHT WAS A MYSTERIZZLE, BUT FOUND IT TIZZAY DISTURB'N TO CONTIZZLE SOLV'N KARKAT: BUT DIZZAY IF IT DIDN'T JIZZUST GIT SOLVED, SO THAT FIZZLE UP. 

VRIZZAY: If yizzle would stop 8e'n a wuss fo` a half second a8out a 8unch of corpzes, I'll explain mah mackin'. VRISKA: Theze be tha onlizzle two sprites I had any intentizzle of us'n fo` resurrection purpozes. VRIZZISKA: I thought i told ya, nigga I'm a soldier. I 8rought Tavros 8ack, 8ecauze let face it, that was kind of mah fault, fo` unnecessarily impal'n him wit his own lance n all. VRISKA: It was mah responsi8ility ta make amends fo` that! So I did. You gotta check dis shit out yo. 

TAVROSPRITE: aWWWWWWWWWWWWW, yEEAAizzle- 

VRIZNISKA: Tavros, don't interrupt. 

TAVROSPRITE dogg: wHOOPS, 

VRISKA: Dogg House Records in the motha fuckin house. Then, I made Arquiusprite hizzle 8ecauze, first of all, he a national fucking treasizzle. Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. VRISKA: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. Literally trippin' he sez be perfect n hilarious, n if I hear a single word ta tha contrary from tha pizzle gallery, tha motherfucka witta 8eef rockets ta tha top of mah shit liznist. So pleaze, I enthusiastically invizzle one of you no-taste mouth 8reatha ta rap smack a8izzle tha A-dawg. Make mah day! 

DAVE: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. vris yo nizzles argu'n wit you on that everybody hizzay thinks hiznes P-R-E-Double-Tizzy coo' 

ARQUIIZZLE:   -->

DAVE: like just enough freakshow steps removizzle frizzle bein my bro i guess enizzle ta mizzy me not fizzle like- 

VRIZNISKA: Dave, diznon't interrupt eitha. VRIZNISKA with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: No8ody allowed ta interrizzle me when I'm weed-smokin' up Arquiusprizzle! That thizzle rule like this and like that and like this and uh. 

TAVROSPRITE in tha hood: (owNeD!) (woW, oWnizzle,) 

DAVE: (oh stfiznu) 

VRISKA in all flavas: SECOND, thizzay homey be a fuck'n tactical genius. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. VRISKA: Death row 187 4 life. Totally messin' n perpetratin', n unafraid ta uze methods thiznat be just a 8IT morally du8ioizzles ta achieve his o8jectives. I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. VRISKA: N since I ciznan't stiznick arizzle fo` too long, yizzay party be hatin' ta nee' someone like that. VRISKA: 8esides, it seems like a really fitt'n f8 fo` Equius. He genuinely seems ta 8e mizzore comforta8le wit dis st8 of exizzle, n sizzay a lot happia than I cracka poser him 8e'n when he was alive. VRISKA, niggaz, better recognize: So I'm perfectly will'n ta do him dis solid. Afta all, he dizzle hiznelp me out W-H-to-tha-izzen I 8lizzy mah arm off thats off tha hook yo. So now we're sqizzay! 

ARQUIUSPRITE:  You M-to-tha-izzean triangular 

VRISKA n shit: What? Tru niggaz do niggaz. 

ARQUIUSPRITE:  Triangular 

VIZZY: Real niggas recognize the realness. I dizzle... 

ARQUIIZZLE:  It tha shizzle of mah clop dizzamn glaszes 

VRISKA: Oh. VRISKA: OH! They call me tha black folks president. VRISKA: Ahahahaha! Siznee whizzle I mizzean, guys? Freak y'all, into the beat y'all.? VRISKA: He a fuck'n rizziot ya dig? 

ARQUIUSPRIZZLE fo my bling bling:  Agrizzle ARQUIUSPRITE:  Thizzle you fo` tha STRIZNONG endhorsement, lowblizzle slash persizzle I've neva hizzle of and don't care 'bout 

V-R-TO-THA-IZZISKA so i can get mah pimp on: HAHAHIZZLE! 

ARQUIUSPRITE in all flavas:  I'll be finished mah work here momentarily 

JAKE, betta check yo self: Excuze me... JAKE: Killa arquius? J-TO-THA-IZZAKE so bow down to the bow wow! What exactly be you... do'n ta ha? 

ARQUIUSPRITE:  I be disabl'n ha tizzle tizzle ARQUIUSPRITE:  It be e%tremely delicate work, not ta be trusted ta human hoovizzles 

VRIZNISKA: Yes fo' sho'. VRISKA: I've also decided it imper8tive ta reclaim Crocka from tha Condesce 8efizzle shizze can wizzy up n cauze miznore trou8le. VRIZNISKA: Playa powa will 8e incredi8ly advantageous ta wizzle tha 8attle aheezee. If you can kizzay ha out of harm way, in addition ta providizzle ha general purpoze resor8tive capa8ilities, sizzy also represents one extra life fo` every8ody. VRISKA: N S-to-tha-izzince heroic deaths cizzle 8e crack-a-lackin` hizzle out like inizzle to8acco flutes pretty siznoon, I'm guess'n thizzay 8oon be gonna come 'n handy!

> [A6IZZLE5] ====>

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #pg7454

[shes-cured]

33 Changes I’ve seen in myself since getting stable a year ago:

(an overly personal milestone post that you can feel free to ignore)

HYGIENE - I shower on a regular basis. I brush my teeth twice a day. I wash my face twice a day. I change my clothes every single day, even if I’m doing nothing but staying in the house... wild.

I am WORLDS more confident

I can make phone calls without paralyzing anxiety. I’m at the point where I don’t even write out a script any more. I actually prefer phone calls now! (Who am I?)

Since the med change a year ago, I’m not tired all the time. I actually WANT to do things!!!

I’m so much more patient

Assertiveness - I talk about my issues with people when they arise (usually). If someone is important to me, I’m no longer passive aggressive. It’s “I was hurt when you did this” or “I didn’t like this” instead of “no, it’s fine” then blowing up weeks, months or years later at all the little things

Organization, organization, organization - I realized I always forgot to do things, so I have a to do list every day of things I wanna get done. My room is always clean now because it makes me feel better. Fuck guys, I even make the bed.

Handling anxiety - I still get anxiety, but now when I do I usually don’t even notice, because I’m like “alright, I’m anxious, let’s solve it” instead of letting it build and build and build, which makes it minor anxiety, not panic attacks.

My ability to look out for myself and not need others to do it for me. I now take care of my mental health on my own. When I see myself slipping, I don’t have to wait for others to tell me to do something, I do it automatically. I intervene early and make the phone calls I need to make to my doctor/therapist by myself.

I’m not defeated just because I have a mental illness - being bipolar, it was always the dreary outlook of “I’m always going to have episodes, this’ll never go away” but after having the literal best year of my life, it’s like “alright, yeah, I’m gonna have episodes, but you know what? they’re usually shorter and less intense now, because I take care of them properly. and the after? the stability? that’s so worth it.”

I no longer resent being bipolar (most of the time). I’ve accepted it’s something I’ll have to deal with and something that can be problematic, but it’s also something that has made me infinitely more compassionate, understanding, insightful, patient, open-minded and tender than 99% of neurotypicals. Going through what I’ve gone through allows me to see things from perspectives so many people can’t consider.

I can hold down a job. And be damn good at it.

How others see me - I’m seen as “bubbly” now?? People view me as someone “positive” and “optimistic” and “energetic” which was not the case a year ago, lemme tell ya.

My identity - if people called me those things in the depths of my depression, I would’ve been uncomfortable with it, because I identified SO MUCH with being depressed. Who was I if I wasn’t depressed or manic? Who was I when I was stable? For so long, I didn’t know who I was if I wasn’t in a state of chaos. Now, I simply view myself as a good person who’s content with life. I go above and beyond when it comes to being kind + generous, because I like being that person. I like giving money to kids selling candy or homeless people on the side of the street that may or may not be con artists, because, god forbid, if that was me, I’d want that.

My values - I know what principles I want to live by and I know what type of person I want to be.

I see the world as good overall - maybe that makes me optimistic, maybe that makes me naive, but I like that. I want to see the world as good, because it makes my life infinitely better. Yes, there are bad people, yes, bad things will happen to me, but so many good people are out there too. So many good deeds are done on a daily basis that would blow my mind to know - even if I don’t hear about them often.

What constitutes a good day - it isn’t everything going my way. A good day might have things that go the complete opposite of how I planned, but if I handle it effectively and constructively, what more can I ask for? If I did well in my reaction, it sounds like I did a great job that day and I’ll be proud of that + call it a good day.

MY MUSIC TASTE - holy fuck, my year-ago-self would hate riding in a car with my now-self because my music is boppy and upbeat and not all slow songs that hit me in the gut

My independence - Instead of “Mom, PLEASE, come with me” it’s “mom, why would you come with me, it’s just ______”

I distance myself from people I don’t like. If someone annoys me or brings me down, I’m not obligated to be BFFs with them, even if they like me. Not clicking with someone (or outgrowing someone) isn’t something to dismiss. Hanging around people I don’t wanna hang around with only makes me irritated, so why would I do that?

MY WRITING - I never would’ve thought this would be something to change (especially not in a good way) but my writing style is so so so so SO much better now. When I read old things, I can tell when I was manic because it’s hectic and sentences are choppy or not well organized. When I was depressed I can tell because it’s elongated and, well… depressing. Being stable has 100000% improved my content.

How I view the future is… different. It’s not pessimistic, but it’s uniquely optimistic in the sense that I don’t have the optimism of “everything is gonna be alright”, because that’s not true. Sometimes, it’s gonna seem like the world is crashing down around me. It has before and it will again. Hell, life will be shittier than ever sometimes. But you know what? I’ve gotten through that before and I will again and I need to go through those times, because it’s in those times that I see myself grow.

Self growth has become what I consider to be the most attractive thing in the world. Changing for the better? Wow, 10/10 beautiful

I accept that sometimes what’s best for me isn’t what I want to do. Sometimes, self care is forcing myself to go to dunkin donuts for a few hours when I’m depressed, even if all I wanna do is lay in a dark room all day, because that’s what’s healthy for me and that’s what will at least slow a downward spiral, if not halt it for a couple hours.

I don’t like being home all day. If I’m home all day, I’m bored. I want to go out, even if it’s just on a walk.

I exercise. Crazy thing…. apparently it actually does help your mental health???

Regular sleep - I KNOW I can’t sleep too much or too little without triggering an episode. Some people might not need to be conscious of that, but I do, so I make sure to keep it between 6-9 hours in order to protect myself from getting unstable.

Eating - I don’t eat healthy foods, but I eat healthy amounts, which is progress.

I embrace who I am. Am I overly bubbly? Yeah. Am I lil weird and nerdy? Oh, it’s not debatable. Are my thought processes hard to understand? Yup, I have to explain them in ten different ways and realize people still won’t fully get them. I can be too closed off and forget that my phone exists more often than not, but I’m working on my flaws, accepting my quirks and have improved myself immensely. I’m proud of that.

I realize I can’t do things some “normal” people can do. I can’t work too many midnight shifts at my job, because it throws my sleep off and can trigger a manic episode. I can’t procrastinate (especially in school), because I’ll get overwhelmed and quickly become suicidal. I need to stick with a firm plan when I do things. I need to make lists or I’ll forget to tell someone something or do something that’s important. I might look weird always writing things down so I don’t forget, but it helps me function and be on my A-game.

My likes are MY likes. It’s okay to be “weird” and like reading and writing fanfics, but it’s also okay to be “mainstream” and like pop music. I don’t need to fight to be this perfect version of unique yet normal. Being myself has made me so happy.

I like finding joy out of super small things. Making small talk with cashiers makes life pleasant. Giving random compliments can shift a whole day around. Showing people how grateful I am when they do nice things (even small things like hold open a door) makes both of us feel better. People typically don’t expect other people to be super nice to them, but I like going out of my way to be super nice, so I am. If my day is bad, making someone else’s day good makes me feel better (and in turn, my day better), so I’m gonna do that, even if some people might find it weird or fake.

I know I’m capable of anything. Whatever happens to me, good or bad, I now have faith in my resilience to go through it. I’ll come out on top, because I always do. I might struggle, I might feel stuck, I might feel like it’s impossible to get through, but I always end up okay in the end.

It’s so crazy, because nowadays, I’m so often told “I don’t know how you can be so positive all the time” or “You are literally always in a good mood” and it blows my mind, because who I was a year ago was a good person, but not that person. 

However, what’s also important to remember is that I am who I am now because I did the work it took to get here and I do the work to stay here every day. I check in with myself. I go to my appointments. I take my meds every day (I haven’t missed a single dose in six months). I cope healthily, even when it feels like it’s not helping, because at least it’s not making things worse. 

I do the annoying things “normal” people don’t have to do without being bitter about it, because at the end of the day I also find so much more joy out of life than “normal” people do, because I remember exactly how dark and meaningless things can seem. I celebrate so many things most people take for granted and I make sure to keep celebrating them, because contentment and stability and balance isn’t something to take for granted. 

I’m really proud of how far I’ve come and where I’m at.

#personal #bipolar #mental health #mental illness #depression #mania #recovery #lesbian #me

[gregzillagt]

Gregzilla’s Thoughts on The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Breath of the Wild is a very good game.  Very good.  Great, even.  If you’re a Zelda fan or a fan of open world adventure games then I absolutely recommend it.

I just wanted to make that very clear so I don’t get ravaged for having plenty of negative things to say about it.

(I’ll keep this free of major spoilers, but I think this game is more enjoyable the more blind you go in, so if you want absolutely nothing spoiled then maybe play it before you read this.  If that’s all good, then read on.)

(Reviewing the Nintendo Switch version)

-I am not a fan of open world games, but it’s one of the best open worlds I’ve experienced.  Most open world games nowadays bore the shit out of me, as they’re usually just tons of space without much meaningful content.  Lots of repetition, lots of samey quests, and a severe lack of discovering anything truly special.  BotW doesn’t avoid this entirely, but the beautiful environments, likable and active NPCs, fun abilities, and varied terrain go a long way to making it more fun to explore than its contemporaries.

-Gorgeous visuals, a strong contender for best art style in the series.  When the sun shines on the grassy fields, it creates a beautiful lushness the likes of which I haven’t seen in a game before.  Characters are also much more expressive than Twilight Princess or Skyward Sword, capturing a bit of that Wind Waker charm that I’ve really missed.

-Combat has some great new additions, especially the new Flurry Rush, which rewards you for performing a dodge at the very last second.  It gave me a Platinum games vibe and I hope stuff like this carries over to future games.

-One of the hardest Nintendo games in recent memory, and a complete reversal from the hand-holding of Skyward Sword, which is incredibly refreshing.

-The puzzles in the shrines and dungeons utilize Link’s abilities and the player’s spacial awareness very well to create some fun problem solving situations.  Another breath of fresh air after the dull, tedious challenges of the previous two 3D Zelda games.

-The Master Sword actually feels like a very special goal to work towards, something many of the recent Zelda games really lacked.

-Many of the side quests are fairly engaging.  I particularly enjoyed the quest requiring you to find locations based on pictures (outside of one or two that were overly vague).  In general there were several quests that I felt the need to go out of my way to do, which I can’t say about many side quests in games.

-Voice acting is not particularly good.  Outside of a few good performances, most of the voiced characters sound forced an awkward, like a mediocre anime dub.  Zelda herself, while not a bad actor, has a very unfitting voice - she’s supposed to be around 17 but ends up sounding 30.  I’m glad they tried it once, but unless the quality is upped considerably then I think I’d prefer they stick to text and grunts, or maybe Hylian.

-I was not a huge fan of the main story.  Most of the big events revolve around characters from Link’s past who you don’t really interact with as a player, while there are four perfectly good characters you DO actually go on quests with and are active in your adventure that would have been more satisfying to see stick around in the story.  Additionally, Link is often recognized and hailed as the legendary hero, which is a story element I don’t really enjoy.  Wind Waker Link is really the only one I enjoy as a character, because he (and the player) actually has to prove himself due to his complete lack of legendary status.  BotW brings everything back to “Link is destined to beat the bad thing,” which is pretty tired at this point.  Zelda’s character development via flashbacks was one of the better aspects, as they gave her more conflict and personality than most Zelda incarnations.

-This is probably one of the most boring incarnations of Ganon to date, having basically zero impact on the gameplay experience until you actually go to face him.  Outside of summoning enemies into the world now and again, the world seems to be doing pretty alright even as the demonic pig cloud is hanging around the castle.  The primary motivation is to save Zelda, as well as PREVENT the world from getting its shit rocked, which isn’t a terrible motivation, but certainly pales in comparison to Ocarina of Time, in which you actually get to see the direct results of Ganon’s takeover.  For the most part it’s very easy to forget Ganon’s even there, which doesn’t make him a particularly strong villain.

-The shrines, while having very good puzzle design, feel completely detached from the world.  I’m glad the puzzles themselves are improved, but at times it feels less like I’m playing a Zelda game with better puzzles, and more like I’m playing a Zelda game that temporarily turns into Portal whenever I enter a shrine.  The big open world and the enclosed shrines feel totally separate, and I would have liked to see more of these kinds of puzzles utilized in the actual overworld.  It feels incredibly artificial, and at first it’s not an issue, but as the game went on I found myself getting very bored at the concept of the shrines, as it turned the whole experience into a formula.

-The dungeons are a similar issue.  While they have some of the best puzzle design of any dungeons in the series, they all look basically the same and don’t have much personality.  No dungeon really feels special or standout from the others, they’re all a pretty samey aesthetic.

-The bosses have the same issue as well.  The main bosses of the game all look almost identical and don’t really feel that different, which is one of the biggest disappointments for me.  I also found them incredibly frustrating, doing unreasonable amounts of damage and often attacking erratically, which could often feel like too much to handle considering switching between weapons and shields can be a bit more awkward this time around.

-The final boss is the exception, it feels much more polished and up to the series’ standards, though it was a bit strange how easy it was compared to the dungeon bosses.  I died many, many times on all the other bosses, but I played through the final boss twice and didn’t die once.  Regardless it’s a satisfying finale, probably one of the better ones in the series.

-The scenes BEFORE the dungeons, involving some of the more memorable characters, are very exciting and fun, probably some of the most engaging moments in the game.

-Enemy outposts are fun to take on at first, but it didn’t take long for me to just start ignoring them.  I didn’t find much desire to experiment on ways to take them on when it was usually just a better idea to pick my strongest weapon and wail away, or use bombs and arrows to set them ablaze.  

-This is more of a personal opinion, but I just am not a fan of the emphasis on equipment and picking up tons of items survival game style.  I really just don’t dig when games stuff your inventory full of tons of shit to keep track of.  I much prefer Zelda to leave the RPG elements on the lighter side, and stick to just a few weapons and permanent arsenal upgrades, as I feel that creates a stronger sense of progression and makes every item feel special.  I can see why Nintendo tried the survival game angle, and it certainly has its charm, but I hope they don’t try it again.  I know Zelda is often referred to as an action RPG, but I never wanted the RPG side of that to be that prominent.

-There’s some very fun and likable NPC characters, made even better by having schedules and not just standing around waiting for Link to show up.  Highlights include the painter Pikango, the Sheikah tech lab scientists, and of course Sidon, the internet’s new favorite fish boy crush.

-Optional minibosses in the overworld are a very fun addition, though there’s several of each type, which makes them feel less special.  

-The music is surprisingly sparse for a Zelda game.  Considering the vast open world I can see why they would try this, as the mellow piano tunes certainly compliment the calm atmosphere.  I do wish there were a few more memorable tunes though, because when I think Zelda, I think truly masterful soundtracks.  The Hyrule Castle theme is by far one of my favorite tracks in the series, however.

-Shield surfing is the best.

-Pretty much every NPC species is something we’ve seen before.  Rito, Gorons, Zora, and even Koroks are back.  There’s plenty of likable characters in the bunch, but it would have been nice to visit a region with a whole new species instead of just reusing old ones.

-Finally, while exploring the world is absolutely enthralling for a good while, I unfortunately began to feel my typical huge open world boredom as the hours racked up.  Over time the rewards for exploring began to feel less exciting and more formulaic, which sadly just seems inevitable whenever I play a gigantic game like this.  I just prefer the smaller, tighter, more intimate worlds like Majora’s Mask and A Link Between Worlds, or other games like (shocker) Dark Souls and Bloodborne.  This is more of a personal opinion, again, but I really do gravitate towards games with a more hand-crafted and dense feel, where every single inch has something new and interesting.  BotW certainly comes closer to capturing that feeling than most giant open world games, but in the end when a game is this gigantic, it’s bound to bore me sooner or later.

So there ya have it.  I know this sounded very negative, but just know that I really did have a good time with Breath of the Wild, and I think it represents a very good change of pace in Nintendo’s game design.  The fact that they were so willing to totally rebuild the Zelda experience from the ground up leaves me very hopeful for them to be more adventurous like this in future games as well.  There were plenty of moments I truly enjoyed myself, and it really is a beautiful world to explore.  But for me, I just don’t think bigger is always better.  It’s very much worth playing, and I’m glad Nintendo gave it a go, but it’s not personally my ideal Zelda experience.

#zelda #breath of the wild #the legend of zelda #ninteno #switch