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twistedroseytoesy · 1 year

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Octavinelle with a blue sea dragon reader

second most popular from the poll!

A blue sea dragon is a type of poisonous sea slug with beautiful blue fins. it's poisonous from the food it eats; the Japanese man of war jellyfish. they are pretty but don't touch them!

Octavinelle

Azul: Honestly thought your blue accents along your skin were special tattoos at first and found your seafood-heavy diet odd. Like everyone he tried to get you to work for him for a nice price. your colorful markings and beautiful hairstyle are able to catch just about anyone's attention! does find it odd how you wear gloves often and cover up a lot, even if most of the stuff you wear is somewhat silky/see-through. Once it's revealed you are a blue sea dragon all the dots are connected. Now he's trying to have you as a special bouncer for the more rough and rody guests, inviting others in with your colors but slightly poisoning any who cause trouble.

Doesn't pressure you to see your merform since he knows how sensitive that kind of thing can be, especially if you were bullied for your poisonous touch. When you do show him when you become friends he will stay back and be amazed at the mesmerizing blues and white that adorn your skin and body. With a special antidote potion he made with your permission, he was able to gently hold you and traced a few of the patterns on your skin, making both of you really happy and at peace. hell shyly show his octo-form too and you'll both happily vibe in the water.

Overall he really appreciates your beauty despite your poisonous nature. Defends you if anyone gets on your case and also happily helps supply you with the dangerous ingredients you like to eat.

Jade: Was interested at first just by your unique body markings and asked about them. Was the one who found some old pictures of your mer-form and then gave that info to Azul and Floyd over some tea. Over the course of your coming over due to Azul's insistence, he started to serve you more and more dangerous kinds of seafood. you seemed to love it, he was a bit surprised at that fact. You especially enjoyed his still-poisonous pufferfish dish. Started to try and introduce some poisonous mushrooms and you didn't mind but still preferred seafood. Of course, you knew they were poisonous, you were just waiting to see if he would get upset once he realized that you were immune to just about every poison imaginable. If you confront him about the attempted poisonings he will just smile and feign hurt at your accusation. Playfuly tease and offer to talk about it over tea and a snack~

Saw your merform from pictures on your phone but will say that a photo does no justice to your beauty in the flesh. asks about the poisonous slime that you create and asks to use some to "study". will keep his distance since he knows that the poison can be quite strong in your mer form. Even in your human form it's strong enough to make someone sick for a week with just a handshake. Happily swims around you and helps you hunt and gather the more dangerous ingredients, might even make special sauces full of poisonous ingredients just for you. and if somone was stupid enough to try and take your food, *cough ace and grim cough* they will be in for a painful next few days~

Floyd: Calls out how pretty your markings are and how they remind him of a cool sea slug! calls you "sea slug" at first, but that changes to "sea dragon" once he is informed of what you are. Got really sick when he surprise squeezed you one day when he was bored and you were the only one nearby. Was a bit scared for you when he saw you eat a pufferfish dish that was illegal due to how difficult it was to make it correctly. was running up to you as you ate before Jade grabbed him and told him it was fine. Laughed and joked at how well you can handle your poisons. Doesn't touch you without gloves but luckily the uniform has some available so he uses those and the long sleeves to protect himself to give you squeezes.

When he sees your merform he wouldn't care if you're poisonous, you're just too pretty to not squeeze! Would be ok for a bit thanks to his own slime protecting him for a bit. happily comments on your pretty little wing fins and how soft you are! also is usually the one handling the food and helping jade prepare some of the more dangerous food for ya. If he sees any of the others *cough again ace and grim caugh* he would just laugh at them before saying that they'll regret eating sea dragons food. but he wont squeese them. the poison will wreck enough havic on its own~

overall still the same Floyd as ever. He throws caution to the wind and doesn't regret getting poisoned when he makes your food or squeezes you cause you're so squishy!

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the-casbah-way · 5 months

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Excuse me sir have you ever been to America and if so what’s been your opinion on this mudpile of a country

i have not. i’ve only left my home country a small handful of times and the furthest i’ve travelled from there is an eight hour train journey away. i think america as an actual country seems uh. interesting. but i would never want to go there. i’m sure parts of it are very pretty and all the americans i know personally are really really lovely but i would genuinely be a bit scared to go to the states lmao it seems very very big and intimidating and so different to what i’m used to. i mostly just want to stay in europe to be honest i’m too autistic to travel much

#i do want a massive soda though and i want to go to an american mall #even a shit one over there would be better than the very few “malls” we have here #oh i also want those candies that aren’t sold here bc the ingredients are so bad for u that they’re illegal in this country #i would chomp on that so bad give it to me

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sydmarch · 1 year

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this is the only beverage in the world to me it's my right hand arm man my best friend my silly rabbit

#legit the only non coffee drink i ever desperately crave i dont like soda i dont like the majority of store bought juices this is IT #passionfruit juice is also my beloved but its impossible to come by outside of fucking restaurants #it should be illegal for welchs & the others to sell cartons labeled 'passionfruit juice with other natural flavors' when the first 5 #ingredience are water grape juice high fructose corn syrup grape juice concentrate apple juice concentrate #FUCK YOU BITCH THATS GRAPE JUICE WITH A SPLASH OF PASSIONFRUIT. DIE!!!#i would juice it myself if i could find somewhere that sells the damn fruit #& i tried the goya pulp it was disgusting #texticles

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todayisafridaynight · 11 months

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and if i think of jo being really good at extremely niche things for masato's sake who's going to stop me

#snap chats #'extremely niche things' bitch its housework #now we all know how i feel about sharing ideas that i plan to doodle at some point.... it feels illegal to me. spoilers...#HOWEVER i wont get to this for a while prob and ive had this on the dome for months so. ill let my demons free #like i keep being haunted by the idea that masumi leaves jo to watch masato for like. the afternoon or something #and of course Kid Has To Eat but does jo know how to cook? n. no.#he tries giving masato burnt eggs and kid almost throws the plate at the wall #pleaaaase give me a montage of this man sitting on masumi's kitchen floor with cook books next to him #sir you do not need all this material for scrambled eggs just watch the eggs and butter the pan 😭#please let me see him get frustrated trying to read a set of ingredients but then looking over to masato who's sitting Right There #and he's just. Do It For Him Do It For Him Do It For Him Do I all the while masato's pouting at him ☠️#stop i just reminded myself of this one post yk the fuckin post thats like. 'what i think of while doing a set' and its just #'if i dont do this set some burglars going to break in my house and kill my dog and i wont be able to do anything also ill be gay'#thats jo in my heart. same energy. its 100% or nothing #'if i cant cook these eggs my sons going to starve and im going to be an even bigger piece of shit'#i spent all my tags just talking about cooking. good god. but do we see my vision

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oatmealswizard · 1 month

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"prep time: 5 min" "ingredients: peeled A), grated B, boiled C" "instruction: mix and fry (...)" my sister in arms what does preparation time mean to you

#they'll write QUICK RECIPE prep time under 5 minutes and put the whole recipe in the ingredients list this should be illegal #criminalise it #grating something carmellising something THIS is PREPARATION. THIS TAKES TIME. PLEASE. why are we lying

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asterisque · 1 year

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"He's a ten but he hides the good cereal." Rei @ kazuki

♢ — send [ THEY’RE A 10 BUT … ] and finish it in my muse’s inbox.

"What you're calling the good cereal had been banned from all the countries in the world except the USA, if that doesn't tell you how utterly unhealthy they are..."

He's gonna ignore the 10 comment, but he's secretly pleased about it.

#//i laughed when i saw those us cereals with all the colors being banned in like the whole europe and other countries out of it bc they #have illegals and dangerous ingredients in them sdfsdfgd REI DON'T EAT THOSE!!!//#ofdraiocht #Muse;;Kazuki

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teacupthesauceror-blog · 2 years

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Sometimes autism allows me to see solutions that no-one else would think of and sometimes I can't eat breakfast for weeks because I had bad texture porridge so that's now illegal but other foods aren't my breakfast food.

#specifically microwave porridge is illegal #i need to take the plunge because I'm home now and have the ingredients to guarantee good porridge #but I'm too tired to fight my own brain

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cabinet-flower · 2 years

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How is Niki these days?

Oh, Niki!

Uh, I’m gonna be honest - I don’t think she’s doing too hot. Schlatt has a. Weird? Way of showing that he cares about me, and well. Mentioning that she’d been spitting in my coffee to him ended up being a bad idea in the long run….

#listen. she also might have been snuggling in illegal ingredients but like. nobody really CARED? I KNOW the caterer uses the same shit I’d #recognize the taste of enderwart anywhere #anon the habibi

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najia-cooks · 5 months

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[ID: A bowl of avocado spread sculpted into a pattern, topped with olive oil and garnished with symmetrical lines of nigella seeds and piles of pomegranate seeds; a pile of pita bread is in the background. End ID]

متبل الأفوكادو / Mutabbal al-'afukadu (Palestinian avocado dip)

Avocados are not native to Palestine. Israeli settlers planted them in Gaza in the 1980s, before being evicted when Israel evacuated all its settlements in Gaza in 2005. The avocados, however, remained, and Gazans continued to cultivate them for their fall and winter harvest. Avocados have been folded into the repertoire of a "new" Palestinian cuisine, as Gazans and other Palestinians have found ways to interpret them.

Palestinians may add local ingredients to dishes traditionally featuring avocado (such as Palestinian guacamole, "جواكامولي فلسطيني" or "غواكامولي فلسطيني"), or use avocado in Palestinian dishes that typically use other vegetables (pickling them, for example, or adding them to salads alongside tomato and cucumber).

Another dish in this latter category is حمص الافوكادو (hummus al-'afukadu)—avocado hummus—in which avocado is smoothly blended with lemon juice, white tahina (طحينة البيضاء, tahina al-bayda'), salt, and olive oil. Yet another is متبّل الأفوكادو (mutabbal al-'afukadu). Mutabbal is a spiced version of بابا غنوج (baba ghannouj)‎: "مُتَبَّل" means "spiced" or "seasoned," from "مُ" "mu-," a participlizing prefix, + "تَبَّلَ" "tabbala‎," "to have spices added to." Here, fresh avocado replaces the roasted eggplant usually used to make this smooth dip; it is mixed with green chili pepper, lemon juice, garlic, white tahina, sumac, and labna (لبنة) or yoghurt. Either of these dishes may be topped with sesame or nigella seeds, pomegranate seeds, fresh dill, or chopped nuts, and eaten with sliced and toasted flatbread.

Avocados' history in Palestine precedes their introduction to Gaza. They were originally planted in 1908 by a French order of monks, but these trees have not survived. It was after the Balfour Declaration of 1917 (in which Britain, having been promised colonial control of Palestine with the dissolution of the Ottoman Empire after World War 1, pledged to establish "a national home for the Jewish people" in Palestine) that avocado agriculture began to take root.

In the 1920s, 30s, and 40s, encouraged by Britain, Jewish Europeans began to immigrate to Palestine in greater numbers and establish agricultural settlements (leaving an estimated 29.4% of peasant farming families without land by 1929). Seeds and seedlings from several varieties of avocado were introduced from California by private companies, research stations, and governmental bodies (including Mikveh Israel, a school which provided settlers with agricultural training). In these years, prices were too high for Palestinian buyers, and quantities were too low for export.

It wasn't until after the beginning of the Nakba (the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians from "Jewish" areas following the UN partition of Palestine in 1947) that avocado plantings became significant. With Palestinians having been violently expelled from most of the area's arable land, settlers were free to plant avocados en masse for export, aided (until 1960) by long-term, low-interest loans from the Israeli government. The 400 acres planted within Israel's claimed borders in 1955 ballooned to 2,000 acres in 1965, then 9,000 by 1975, and over 17,000 by 1997. By 1986, Israel was producing enough avocados to want to renegotiate trade agreements with Europe in light of the increase.

Israeli companies also attained commercial success selling avocados planted on settlements within the West Bank. As of 2014, an estimated 4.5% of Israeli avocado exports were grown in the occupied Jordan Valley alone (though data about crops grown in illegal settlements is of course difficult to obtain). These crops were often tended by Palestinian workers, including children, in inhumane conditions and at starvation wages. Despite a European Union order to specify the origin of such produce as "territories occupied by Israel since 1967," it is often simply marked "Israel." Several grocery stores across Europe, including Carrefour, Lidl, Dunnes Stores, and Aldi, even falsified provenance information on avocados and other fruits in order to circumvent consumer boycotts of goods produced in Israel altogether—claiming, for example, that they were from Morocco or Cyprus.

Meanwhile, while expanding its own production of avocados, Israel was directing, limiting, and destabilizing Palestinian agriculture in an attempt to eliminate competition. In 1982, Israel prohibited the planting of fruit trees without first obtaining permission from military authorities; in practice, this resulted in Palestinians (in Gaza and the West Bank) being entirely barred from planting new mango and avocado trees, even to replace old, unproductive ones.

Conditions worsened in the years following the second intifada. Between September of 2000 and September of 2003, Israeli military forces destroyed wells, pumps, and an estimated 85% of the agricultural land in al-Sayafa, northern Gaza, where farmers had been using irrigation systems and greenhouses to grow fruits including citrus, apricots, and avocados. They barred almost all travel into and out of al-Sayafa: blocking off all roads that lead to the area, building barricades topped with barbed wire, preventing entry within 150 meters of the barricade under threat of gunfire, and opening crossings only at limited times of day and only for specific people, if at all.

A July 2001 prohibition on Palestinian vehicles within al-Sayafa further slashed agricultural production, forcing farmers to rely on donkeys and hand carts to tend their fields and to transport produce across the crossing. If the crossing happened to be closed, or the carts could not transport all the produce in time, fruits and vegetables would sit waiting in the sun until they rotted and could not be sold. The 2007 blockade worsened Gaza's economy still further, strictly limiting imports and prohibiting exports entirely (though later on, there would be exceptions made for small quantities of specific crops).

In the following years, Israel allowed imports of food items into Gaza not exceeding the bare minimum for basic sustenance, based on an estimation of the caloric needs of its inhabitants. Permitted (apples, bananas, persimmons, flour) and banned items for import (avocados, dates, grapes) were ostensibly based on "necessary" versus "luxury" foods, but were in fact directed according to where Israeli farmers could expect the most profit.

Though most of the imports admitted into Gaza continued to come from Israel, Gazan farmers kept pursuing self-sufficiency. In 2011, farmers working on a Hamas-government-led project in the former settlements produced avocados, mangoes, and most of the grapes, onions, and melons that Gazans ate; by 2015, though still forbidden from exporting excess, they were self-sufficient in the production of crops including onions, watermelon, cantaloupe, grapes, almonds, olives, and apples.

Support Palestinian resistance by calling Elbit System’s (Israel’s primary weapons manufacturer) landlord, donating to Palestine Action’s bail fund, and donating to the Bay Area Anti-Repression Committee bail fund.

Ingredients:

2 medium avocados (300g total)

1/4 cup white tahina

2 Tbsp labna (لبنة), or yoghurt (laban, لبن رايب)

1 green chili pepper

2 cloves garlic

2 Tbsp good olive oil

Juice of 1/2 lemon (1 1/2 Tbsp)

1 tsp table salt, or to taste

Pomegranate seeds, slivered almonds, pine nuts, chopped dill, nigella seeds, sesame seeds, sumac, and/or olive oil, to serve

Khubiz al-kmaj (pita bread), to serve

Instructions:

1. In a mortar and pestle, crush garlic, pepper, and a bit of salt into a fine paste.

2. Add avocados and mash to desired texture. Stir in tahina, labna, olive oil, lemon juice, and additional salt.

You can also combine all ingredients in a blender or food processor.

3. Top with a generous drizzle of olive oil. Add toppings, as desired.

4. Cut pita into small rectangles or triangles and separate one half from the other (along where the pocket is). Toast in the oven, or in a large, dry skillet, stirring occasionally, until golden brown. Serve dip alongside toasted pita chips.

#Palestinian #avocados #tahina #lemons #long post /#gluten free

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heartfullofleeches · 7 months

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bunnyboy streamer darling gets access to a lot of resources and expensive ingredients/equipment but in exchange for wolf hybrid sugar parent yan looking at them like they’re dinner…bunnyboy won but at what cost

Bunnyboy: so... how was it?

Wolf Yan: Delicious as always, dear, though I could go for some dessert

Bunnyboy: D-dessert? But you ate nearly the entire sheet of cookies I just pulled out of the oven....

Wolf Yan: We both know that isn't what I'm talking about

Bunnyboy: ....Did you know Cannibalism is illegal in most countries?

Wolf Yan: Take off your apron, Rabbit.

Bunnyboy, tearing up: Please don't eat me, I don't taste good I swear-

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere oc #yandere headcanons #yandere x you #yandere scenarios

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paradubolical · 2 months

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it's that time again

here's how to make alcohol at home

recipe under the cut. it's long. I warned you.

FOREWARD:

I do not endorse regular substance abuse or at-home distillation without proper training. Don’t hit your kids. Don’t blow up your house. It’s okay to eat shit and die, like, once every three months, not every two weeks, not every weekend. If you’re doing that, there’s not much I can do to help or give in way of advice. But this recipe is not for you. And you should reconsider some stuff if you haven’t already.

That being said.

The following is my personal method for brewing beer, mead, wine, etc. I have utilized this method many times and it has worked wonderfully. I have achieved up to 15% proof. This means that the substance you create should be perfectly drinkable and safe if you follow the instructions and use your head. HOWEVER. You should be prepared to read this whole document before making anything. There are warnings and safety precautions you need to take, and I don’t want anyone to get botulism of some shit because of a shoddy recipe that doesn’t explain absolutely everything.

I also do not encourage the practice of distillation at home. This is not because it is illegal. For those unaware, distillation is the semi-complicated process of heating alcohol to produce hard liquors. While it may sound fun to make Smirnoff from home, there is a reason we do not. Alcohol is extremely flammable. You will set yourself or your valuables on fire.

Ingredients:

1 Packet ActiveDry Yeast

1 Cup Sugar or 1 Cup Sugar Equivalent*

⅔ Gallon Water

Supplies:

1 Gallon Container

1 Suitable Cork or Lid**

3-4 Ballons, Latex Gloves, or even condoms will do honestly***

IMPORTANT:

You must have a space prepared ahead of time to store the JFCB while it brews. Remember. It will stink like hell. Anyone who smells it will know it’s alcohol. Use your noggin okay

NOTES:

In simple terms, alcohol is created when yeast eats sugar. You can use pretty much anything sugary. Don’t use chocolate unless you want to die.

I like to use those strawberry-flavored grandma hard candies. The stuff they make is super fucking strong and tastes like god himself descended from the heavens to kick your ass. It makes what I like to call the JFCB. It’s high-proof enough to burn your throat. So, you know, try to moderate.

You need something to seal the container with once you’re done. Pick wisely.

***

It’s gotta be something that can form a seal around the lip of the container, but also expand like a balloon. These are some of the things I’ve found work best.

INSTRUCTIONS:

Creating the Base

Take your 1-Gallon Container and fill it with half the packet of ActiveDry yeast. You don’t need all of it. Trust me on this one.

Pour in your 1 Cup Sugar or Equivalent.

Pour in the ⅔ Gallon of Water.

Either whisk or mix vigorously. When it starts foaming, you’re done.

Stage 1

Put the Balloon/Latex/Condom over the lip of the container. Make sure it’s secure and extremely tight, but there’s plenty of room for air to fill.

Find your designated Place to Put It. This should be somewhere nobody’s gonna smell it, and also somewhere nobody’s gonna go for the next three odd months.

Set your shit down.

Wait 2-3 weeks.

Stage 2

After 2-3 weeks, the alcohol should stop emitting gas. At this point, it’s safe to cork. Don’t do it beforehand or the container will explode.

I like to put some hot glue or wax over the lip just to make sure it’s sealed extra well. I sometimes put tinfoil too. It doesn’t actually help anything, just looks fancy.

Find somewhere nice to store it. Make sure it’s right side up. Odds are you sealed it pretty poorly if it’s your first time, and you’re gonna be in deep shit if it starts to smell.

If it does, that means you corked it too early. Move it back to your Place to Put It for like a month. Recork it after that time’s up. It might be difficult, but you’re smart. You can do it. It should be good to go after that.

And there you have it. A nice bottle of…. Something?

Enjoy. Or just leave it to sit.

FAQ:

Q: I’m worried about getting botulism from this shit. Is it really safe?

A: Usually, people don’t get botulism. My rule of thumb is that if it smells like shit you should really just throw it away. If you’re really worried, I’d also recommend throwing it away. The paranoia’s not worth it.

Q: I’m a minor. Should I try this at home?

A: Probably not. I’m a minor too, so fuck’s to say what my opinion’s worth.

Q: I want to try vodka/scotch/whiskey. What should I do?

A: You should just not. Or buy it at the store. I don’t know man i’m not the all-seeing eye

Q: I’ve heard you need an airlock for this. Do you need an airlock for this?

A: Absolutely fucking not. They are feeding you airlock propaganda. You don’t need an airlock.

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mitsuristoleme · 4 months

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“hey stupid, i love u”

cw: mild swearing, gn!reader, reader gets called ‘mom’, fluff fluff fluff

part 1 here but this can be read as a standalone

a/n: they need more domesticity. this is so self indulgent btw.g

tagging- @forest-hashira

You unlock the door as quietly as possible, and slip inside the house, making sure not to wake your family. It was still pretty early, only 9AM on a Saturday.

Your family. A chaotic mess consisting of your two boyfriends and four adopted (kinda) children. Neither you nor the boys thought you would be parents of four at 20, but you weren’t complaining. Smiling at the thought of them, you take off your shoes and put them into the shoe-rack.

Dumping you bag unceremoniously onto the dining table, you make your way to the bedroom you shared with your lovers, only to be greeted by an adorable sight as you enter.

Nanako and Megumi are sandwiched between Satoru and Suguru, Mimiko asleep on Satoru’s shoulder and Tsumiki curled up over Suguru’s head. A big cuddle pile of the people you love most.

If you were in a cartoon you would be a liquid puddle on the ground with hearts in your eyes.

Bringing out your phone, you take a million pictures before heading into the bathroom to clean up and change.

You take the quickest, quietest shower you have ever taken (normally Satoru and Suguru join you and well, that doesn’t end fast) and slip on one of Suguru’s hoodies and a pair of shorts.

You check the time on your phone, 10AM.

Deciding to make breakfast for everyone, you grab your dirty clothes to put in the laundry basket and begin making you way out of the room.

You’ve barely taken a couple steps when you hear shuffling from the bed and a hoarse little whisper of “Mom?”

Mimiko has moved away from Satoru’s shoulder and is looking at you, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

Okay, fuck the laundry.

You drop your work uniform in a corner of the room and move to scoop Mimiko into your arms, pressing a kiss onto her head.

“Hi honey, you sleep well?”

She nods against you before mumbling a “missed you.”

“I missed you too, you menace,” you whispered, gently tickling her under her chin. “You wanna help me make breakfast, hmm?”

“Waffles?” she asks looking up at you with those pleading eyes you can never say no to.

You don’t have the heart to tell her you were gonna make oatmeal.

“Of course.”

In the kitchen, you seat Mimiko on the counter and put on your apron before you grab the child sized one with “Mimiko” embroidered on it and tie it up for her.

Mimiko adores that apron for no reason other than the fact that her dads got it for her on her birthday (of course Nanako has a matching one and of course they refused to take them off for a week, going as far as sleeping in their aprons).

You both get to work making the batter for the waffles. You put in the ingredients and mix as Mimiko ‘finishes’ the mixing.

While you’re washing and chopping the strawberries, your little chef chooses the playlist for that morning, one of Satoru’s making of course.

Distracted as you both are, you don’t notice Suguru enter the kitchen. At least not until he’s pressed up against your back, arms around your waist.

“Good morning, love,” he breathes into your ear, in that deep husky voice thats so fucking attractive it should be illegal.

“Hi Sugu,” you reply, heart thumping wildly in your chest. Even after three, almost four years of being together, the boys never failed to make you feel like a crushing schoolgirl.

You slice the last strawberry in half and turn around to face your boyfriend, looping your arms around him neck. He grins that devilishly handsome grin of his, and pecks your lips.

“Papa! I want hugs and kisses too,” pouts Mimiko, phone and playlist forgotten as she holds her arms out for her papa to embrace her.

“Of course my little angel.”

You look on fondly as Suguru dotes on your daughter, giggles emanating from their mouths. Watching your boys be soft for the kids made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

That was when Satoru walked out of the bedroom, eyes unfocused, his hair looking like he lost a fight with his pillow, and Nanako and Tsumiki under each arm. In a strange display of affection, Megumi was clutching onto his shoulders, legs dangling.

Satoru doesn’t seem to have noticed the fact that you’re at home. He deposits the kids onto the couch and makes his way towards the kitchen, whining about the loss of Suguru’s body heat.

“-can’t believe ya left me Sugu. No y/n either. M’heart is breaking-“

He’s in the middle of his sleepy tirade when he spots you, standing next to the sink, smiling.

“Hi ‘Toru.”

He immediately breaks out into a grin.

“BABYYYYY!!!” And you’re enveloped into a bone crushing hug.

You laugh as he lifts you off the ground and rocks you from side to side. He sets you down and begins peppering your face with kisses.

“I,” mwah, “Missed,” mwah, “You.” mwah.

Another arm snakes around your waist, Suguru pulling both you and Satoru closer. You notice from the corner of your eye that Mimiko has joined her siblings in the living room, the four if them crowded around an iPad.

You bask in your lovers’ hugs for a moment longer, before kissing their jaws and pulling yourself out of their arms.

“C’mon we still have four kids to feed,” you say in response to their forlorn expressions.

You peek your head out of the kitchen, calling out to the kids, “Kids! Waffles for breakfast! Dining table now!”

With a cheer and a yell of “You guys should all thank me for this” by Mimiko, the four children are seated at the table in record time.

Suguru forces you to sit on the dining table as he and Satoru make the waffles and serve them to everyone, with a heaping serving of whipped cream and chopped strawberries.

After breakfast, the girls enthusiastically remind you of the Girls’ Day you promised them that morning before you left. When you tell them to get dressed, the twins immediately break free from Satoru, who was showering them in affection (imagine his disappointment), and scamper to their room to choose their outfits.

Tsumiki shyly comes up to you, playing with the hem of her sleep shirt, “Mom, can you help me pick something to wear?”

These are the moments that make you realise how different life was for the four children before Satoru and Suguru found them. Tsumiki had never gotten the chance to go out much and you heart ached for the young girl.

You clear your throat to ease the tightness you felt and smiled at Tsumiki, “Of course ‘Miki! C’mon lets put together an outfit for you.”

As you get up from the couch, you share a glance with Satoru and Suguru, whose eyes reflect all the same emotions you had been feeling.

The last thing you hear before leaving is Suguru asking Megumi if he wants to go somewhere to compensate for the fact that the three boys were being left at home.

After helping Tsumiki pick an outfit, you send the girl off to shower before taking one yourself (the second consecutive shower without your boys, you note). You quickly do your makeup and slip into a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. Completely unable to locate your sweater (it was probably stolen by Satoru), you end up stealing Suguru’s leather jacket to wear on top of your t-shirt.

When you finally step back into the living room, Satoru greets you with a kiss on your lips and his signature cheshire grin. “You look good,” he says, ocean blue eyes looking you up and down appreciatively.

“Thanks,” you grin back, looping your arms around his neck.

“Can I come with?” he inquires almost pleadingly. “Baby its Girls’ Day.” “Yeah and?” “You’re not a girl Satoru!” “Bold of you to assume I’m not a woman.” “What?!?”

“I swear you two,” you hear Suguru sigh behind you. You look back at him, pouting. “‘Toru started it,” you complain.

Suguru laughs and pinches Satoru’s and your

cheeks, following it up by pecking your foreheads.

“You’re both such babies,” he chuckles as you and your white haired menace of a lover launch yourselves into Suguru’s arms.

“Your babies,” Satoru replies, cheekily.

“My babies.”

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ystrike1 · 3 months

Text

If You Save an Immoral Beast - By Hesha (7/10)

The perfect opening. Great characters. Good motivations. These are the ingredients to any good story, but the random superpowers ruin this one. I'm not saying it's unreadable, but it drops from great to mediocre by chapter four.

Lee is a slave. His mom was killed in front of him. He was sold into child labor. He keeps a bar clean. A certain bar called Night Butterfly, where the most beautiful slaves earn clients and money for their masters.

This is Pierre. An experienced slave trader who just so happens to own Lee. The brothel district is a fairly lawless place. It's easy for Pierre to control all of his products. Lee is a kid with no family who sleeps behind a stripper bar.

Nobody is gonna save him.

Reality is cruel.

Lee knows what happens to slaves who are old, ugly or otherwise useless. They are left disfigured in underground cells. The woman who cared for him had her mouth burned off. She never saw the sun. Her job involves tailoring clothes for new slaves and helping them bathe when they're injured, and total isolation outside of that.

The cells are where disobedient unwanted slaves go.

Lee decides he wants to live, and that means he needs to be wanted.

He decides to seduce clients who visit Night Butterfly. It's a very dangerous gamble, and he loses every time. He's looking for a golden goose. A noble lady that can satisfy his greedy owner.

Pierre knows he's trying to escape.

Lee is punished brutally.

Sounds like a standard backstory right?

Nope.

Lee is extra ruthless. He literally has no conscience. He's been living behind the bar since he was like ten. He knows how to manipulate lonely women. He catfishes all of them. He tells his rich clients he loves them, and they take on a risk too. His lovers try to free him with expensive mercenaries, secret ship voyage tickets and gold.....but it doesn’t work.

Pierre has the women whipped.

Beaten horribly.

It happens to all of Lee's "lovers".

He watches them bleed, and he doesn’t give half a shit.

Asha is from a completely different life. A prestigious Count household hired her. She is supporting her sick mother and she is a skilled domestic worker. She is a great cook and a quick wit that helps the manor solve daily issues.

Her master, Benjamin, has a good relationship with her. They aren't friends. They are a master and servant who just so happen to get along. They are the polar opposite of Lee and Pierre.

Master Benjamin seems to be a good man, but his head maid is not. She's affiliated with Pierre. She uses poor Ashe as a transport donkey for illegal gold. Ashe doesn't really have a choice, because smuggling means extra money for mom.

The suspicious head maid sends her to Night Butterfly.

There she finds Lee.

Lee suddenly has super strength now by the way. His whole story about using what he has to survive now doesn't matter, because he's strong enough to shred men twice his size.

Also Ashe is a healer....but she can't heal her mom for some reason???

Whatever.

She heals Lee and that's it. He's yandere for her. It's cheating and it sucks. I want Lee to be jealous of Ashe, and her shiny life with Benjamin. I want intrigue. Not glowy healer lights and glowy super strength eyes. Lee is a slave. Asha is a maid. They don't need to be special and they were more interesting without the superpowers.

Very disappointed.

I won't finish this one.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #webtoon #If You Save an Immoral Beast

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p4p1l0nn · 5 months

Text

“brew-tiful banter”

pairing: barista!jaehyun x reader (featuring jungwoo and doyoung)

genre: romcom, slice of life, comedy, mystery, friendship, coffee culture.

word count: 2.5k

a/n: not my top pick, but decided to let it see the light. take a peek, share your thoughts if you want. enjoy the read!

like any other day, jaehyun greeted his regulars with a warm smile as they entered the cozy coffee shop. the aroma of freshly brewed coffee hung in the air, creating an inviting atmosphere.

“hey there, sarah! the usual caramel latte to kickstart your day?” jaehyun grinned as he prepared her favorite drink.

sarah chuckled, “you know me too well, jaehyun. you coffee is my morning lifesaver.”

a new customer walked in, and jaehyun welcomed them, “welcome! first time here? our coffee's so good it should be illegal.”

the newcomer laughed, “i'll have whatever's the house specialty.”

“the house special? that's a bold move!” jaehyun winked. “how about a velvety mocha with a hint of hazelnut? it's our secret weapon.”

as the coffee grinder whirred in the background, jaehyun engaged with another regular, mark. “mark, my man! how's the novel coming along?”

mark sighed, “slowly, but your espresso shots keep the ideas flowing.”

with a grin, jaehyun replied, “that's what i'm here for – brewing inspiration one shot at a time!”

the mix of laughter, the clinking of mugs, and the hum of conversation filled the air, creating a lively ambiance. the smell of freshly ground coffee beans lingered, inviting customers to savor both the delightful banter and the rich aroma.

but that was before. the once lively jaehyun, whom customers adored for his infectious energy, had now transformed into a more somber version of himself. despite the change, his dedication to excellent customer service remained unmatched.

as he greeted customers, there was a noticeable absence of his signature enthusiasm. “hey there,” he would say, a faint smile attempting to mask the subdued tone. the nickname “brewmaster bummer” circulated among regulars, a stark contrast to his former title.

a long-time friend, jungwoo, sensed the change and asked, “you seem a bit off today. everything okay?”

he sighed, “just one of those days, you know? but don't worry, the latte is still going to be as perfect as ever.”

jungwoo nodded understandingly, “well, if you need someone to talk to, we're here for you too.”

the coffee shop atmosphere retained its charm, but a hint of nostalgia lingered. the smell of coffee beans mixed with an underlying melancholy, creating an unusual blend. despite the change in jaehyun's demeanor, his banter still resonated, though it lacked the sparkle it once had.

a new customer, unaware of the transformation, approached the counter. “hey, i heard this place has the best banter in town. what's the secret?”

jaehyun managed a small grin, “ah, the secret ingredient is a dash of wit and a sprinkle of charm. welcome to brewmaster bummer's, where even the gloomiest days can't dampen our dedication to good coffee and, well, decent banter.

“and as much as i want to serve our specialty, i'm sorry to say that we're closed,” jaehyun declared with his usual wit, a hint of mischief in his eyes. “jungwoo must have forgotten to put the 'closed' sign again.”

the customer sighed, “that's a bummer. i should have brought my friend earlier today, but she's too busy to even step foot in any store. i guess we'll have to come again then.”

jaehyun chuckled, “tell your friend not to worry. brewmaster bummer's is always here, and we'll have the banter ready for her next visit.”

as the customer left with a promise to return, jaehyun exchanged a knowing glance with jungwoo, who shrugged apologetically. the coffee shop may have been closing its doors, but jaehyun's spark of banter remained, leaving a lingering anticipation for the next day's interactions.

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“order for the brave souls, your bold double-shot espressos are ready!”

a guy who visits everyday with his regular orders approached the counter. with a cheeky smile, jaehyun handed him the cups.

“bold and ready, just the way i like it," he grinned, taking the cups. “fuel for conquering the day.”

curiosity got the better of jaehyun, and he quirked an eyebrow, “does your friend always ask you to get her order? i feel like i've been making these double-shots for weeks now.”

the guy chuckled, “she's a busy lady, always on the run. i'm just the coffee messenger.”

jaehyun laughed, “ah, the coffee courier! well, i appreciate your dedication to delivering the caffeine goods. by the way, i never got your name. no need for introductions, you might already know mine.” he winked playfully.

he joined in the banter, “yeah, jaehyun the banter. the name's doyoung.”

grinning mischievously, jaehyun couldn't resist a playful jab, “so, doyoung, when do i get to see this 'double shots of espresso' lady in person? is she avoiding the legendary banter brewmaster?”

doyoung laughed, “oh, she's a mystery. always on a caffeine quest, but rarely spotted in the wild. you'll just have to keep brewing those double shots, and maybe one day she'll reveal herself.”

jaehyun, leaning on the counter, feigned disappointment, “ah, the elusive coffee connoisseur. i'll keep the banter extra sharp for her eventual appearance.”

their banter continued, with doyoung sharing more stories of his mysterious friend's coffee preferences, and jaehyun adding his own theatrical twists to each tale. the coffee shop, usually filled with the comforting aroma of brewing coffee, now also echoed with the shared laughter of the banter duo.

as doyoung left with his usual order, jaehyun called after him, “tell the espresso enthusiast she's missing out on some top-tier banter!”

doyoung waved back with a smile, “i'll let her know. maybe one day she'll take on the challenge.”

╴╴╴╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴╴╴╴╴⊹˚ ╴╴╴╴˚ೃ ╴╴

a few days passed, and jaehyun's mood seemed to uplift bit by bit. despite his persistent gloom, he managed to pull off the banter routine, but occasionally, a shadow still crossed his face. perhaps it was the absence of his favorite mystery regular, who hadn't made their double-shot order in days. the reason remained unknown.

one day, as jaehyun absentmindedly stared into the coffee beans, jungwoo, his ever-supportive colleague, nudged him, “hey, jaehyun, feeling the coffee blues again? missing the elusive double-shot enthusiast?”

he sighed, “yeah, it's been a while. wonder what happened to doyoung's friend. maybe she found a new favorite coffee spot.”

jungwoo grinned, “or maybe she's on a caffeine detox. you know, trying to banish the coffee spirits for a while.”

despite his lingering melancholy, jaehyun chuckled, “coffee detox? that's like trying to ban banter in here. impossible!”

jungwoo playfully continued, “maybe she's preparing a grand entrance. the return of the mysterious coffee lover, starring doyoung and jaehyun, the dynamic duo of banter and brew.”

jaehyun couldn't help but smile, “i like that plot twist. maybe we should spice up the banter even more. make her reappearance unforgettable.”

and there goes the ring, signaling a customer. jaehyun's eyes darted to the clock – exactly 4 pm. could it be—

“double espresso shots, please,” a voice requested, but it wasn't doyoung's.

jungwoo approached the counter with a friendly smile, “sure thing! we've got a thing for double shots today. what brings you here?”

the girl chuckled, “my friend got sick of me asking the same thing and told me to come myself.”

jungwoo's eyes lit up with recognition, “sounds familiar. are you perhaps doyoung's friend?”

caught off guard, you chuckled, “well, aren't you a detective in disguise? guilty as charged.”

jungwoo laughed, “you're the mystery double-shot enthusiast he's been talking about, aren't you?”

you nodded with a mock serious expression, “i am. i come in peace, armed only with an insatiable love for double shots.”

with a playful grin, jungwoo nudged jaehyun, who seemed momentarily lost in words. his sudden all-talk demeanor had vanished, leaving only silence in its wake. “well, lover boy, you heard her. make her the regular and show off your specialty.”

jaehyun, finally finding his words, chuckled, “alright, alright, the specialty it is. get ready for a taste bud adventure, espresso lady.”

as jaehyun prepared the coffee, he couldn't help but add, “i'll brew it with an extra sprinkle of magic, just for you.”

jungwoo teased, “a sprinkle of magic? watch out, jaehyun's turning into a coffee wizard. maybe he'll even add a dash of love potion.”

you laughed, “love potion in coffee? now that's a unique selling point. i'll take my chances.”

jaehyun worked on your regular order, jungwoo engaged you in conversation, “so, where's doyoung been? we've missed our fellow banter enthusiast.”

you shrugged, “oh, he's on a mission, exploring uncharted coffee territories. said something about discovering a hidden gem.”

jungwoo laughed, “hidden gem, huh? maybe he'll find the banter diamond mine. we could use some extra sparkle around here.”

you joined in the humor, “well, if anyone can uncover a banter diamond, it's doyoung. maybe he'll bring it back for the grand reopening.”

as the two of you bantered back and forth, jaehyun couldn't help but stare at you in awe. your playful demeanor and easygoing banter had injected a fresh energy into the coffee shop, and jaehyun found himself captivated by the newfound presence.

jaehyun gazed at you, his heart seemed to skip a beat, much like the rich aroma of freshly ground coffee beans that permeated the air. it wasn't just your captivating smile or the way your eyes lit up with each playful remark; it was an inexplicable warmth, akin to the comforting embrace of a perfectly brewed cup of coffee.

your laughter echoed in his mind like the melody of a well-steamed espresso machine, filling the quiet spaces with a delightful hum. jaehyun found himself enchanted by the way your eyes sparkled, reminiscent of the gleam on the surface of a freshly brewed espresso, rich and inviting.

he couldn't help but notice the graceful way you carried yourself, akin to the smooth and velvety texture of a well-poured latte. your presence was like the perfect coffee blend, a harmonious mix of sweet and bold, leaving an indelible imprint on his senses.

every word you spoke was a flavor note in his heart, a symphony of tastes that danced like frothy milk on the surface of a cappuccino. and as he crafted your specialty drink, he realized that, much like the meticulous art of brewing coffee, there was an art to the way you added a touch of magic to the ordinary.

perhaps it was the way your laughter lingered in the air, like the aromatic notes of a freshly brewed pour-over. or the gentle way you leaned in during the banter, reminiscent of the careful pour of a velvety flat white. jaehyun found himself lost in the warmth of your presence, much like the comforting embrace of a favorite coffee mug on a chilly morning.

and just like a well-prepared cup of coffee, you left an aftertaste — a sweet and lingering essence that made jaehyun yearn for more-

“oh shi-”

immersed in admiration of you, reality struck, and he yelped. his coffee daydreaming had led to an unintentional overpour, and a splash of hot coffee stung his hand. jungwoo, the good friend he is, burst into laughter.

“smooth move, barista extraordinaire!” jungwoo teased, laughter echoing through the coffee shop.

your playful grin hiding a hint of concern, quipped, “well, that's one way to spice up the brew, isn't it? hot coffee, hotter hands.”

jaehyun, now a mix of embarrassment and shyness, stammered, “w-well, you see, i was just, uh, lost in the aroma of the coffee, and then, um, things got a bit too dreamy . . .”

jungwoo, thoroughly enjoying the spectacle, chimed in with a hearty laugh, “lost in the aroma, huh? i didn't know coffee daydreams could be so dangerous. maybe we should get you a helmet, buddy, to protect you from those hazardous beans.”

“who knew coffee brewing could be such an extreme sport? i'll have to be careful around here, might get caught in the crossfire of a barista's daydream.” you playfully added.

the poor barista, still recovering from the coffee mishap, managed a sheepish grin, “s-sorry about that. i guess my mind wandered into the coffee fields without a map.”

jungwoo, still relishing the moment, teased, “more like into the coffee clouds. next time, warn us before you take a caffeine-powered trip, captain jaehyun.”

with a playful grin, he nudged jaehyun and added, “or is it because you're nervous? coffee daydreaming might be your secret escape from the mysteries of the heart.”

jaehyun, now fully embracing the good-natured banter, rolled his eyes, “nervous? please, i handle coffee pressure like a pro. it's just, uh, occupational hazards.”

you, shyly enjoying the banter, quipped, “well, captain jaehyun, if your coffee daydreams are anything to go by, i'd say you're navigating the coffee seas just fine.”

jungwoo, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, continued to playfully prod, “maybe you need a co-captain to help you steer through those daydream storms. preferably someone with a good sense of direction.”

the trio chuckled, the coffee shop once again filled with the lighthearted melody of their banter. as the laughter subsided, jaehyun, with a flourish, finished preparing your coffee and handed it to you.

“here you go, espresso navigator. a brew crafted with the precision of a well-charted course and the heart of a caffeine adventurer. may it fuel your journey until our next coffee-filled escapade.”

you, smiling at the banter, accepted the cup with a playful thank you.

finally, you prepared to leave, the banter had woven a comfortable atmosphere, and you playfully remarked, “well, my lunch break is up, it's my cue to leave. thanks for the coffee and laughter, boys. see you around.”

jungwoo, ever the jester, grinned, “anytime you need a caffeine pick-me-up or a good laugh, you know where to find us.”

jaehyun, still recovering from his coffee mishap, added with a sheepish smile, “yeah, and next time, i promise not to turn the coffee shop into a comedy stage.”

you chuckled warmly, “oh, i don't mind a bit of coffee theater. it adds to the charm. and by the way, even if doyoung warned me you both are double trouble, i must say, you're not so bad after all.”

as you gracefully walked out, jaehyun, struck by an unexpected surge of realization, dramatically grasped jungwoo, who nearly tripped in bewildered confusion.

“i forgot to ask for her number!” jaehyun exclaimed, wide-eyed and dramatically clutching his chest as if he'd missed out on the last bean in the coffee bag.

jungwoo, eyes rolling, retorted, “your moves are as weak as decaf. you didn't even bother with the name.”

their banter continued, a hilarious exchange of blame and accusations, transforming the coffee shop into a spontaneous comedy show. back and forth they went until, in the midst of their banter, the closing lines arrived.

“next time, maybe start with a simple 'hi, i'm jaehyun.' that might save you from tripping over both words and your own feet.” suggested jungwoo with a sly grin.

but jaehyun, seemingly lost in his own world, responded with a dreamy smile, “i think i might be in love.”

jungwoo, catching onto the shift in the atmosphere, raised an eyebrow and remarked, “love? you sure it's not just a caffeine-induced daydream?”

jaehyun, still smiling, shrugged, “who knows? maybe my heart just found its favorite blend.”

#jaehyun #jeong jaehyun #nct 127 #nct #jaehyun nct #nct jaehyun #barista au #jaehyun smut #nct scenarios #nct imagines

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