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#Ilya writes
giddyfatherchris · 2 months
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I can't sleep
pairing: bang chan x reader
type: not requested
warnings: none, pure fluff baby
word count: 1k
requests: open for stray kids and bts
a/n: i thought of this when i had an insomnia episode for a few weeks and it always helped make me feel better, i hope it does the same for any night owl out there xxx
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summary: the reader cannot find sleep, but instead finds comfort in the arms of her sweet sweet sweet partner
You awoke for what felt like the millionth night in a row. Eyes wide open, a little hot, and completely lucid. You stared at the ceiling, praying you would fall back asleep, but nothing.
Lately, you felt like a broken record. Almost every night, you would have the weirdest dreams and wake up every hour, struggling to get back to sleep. You would either end up on the couch reading a book or stay in bed trying every trick to reach a peaceful slumber once more.
Some nights, Chan was right by your side, and you cursed him for being asleep while you weren't. Of course, you immediately chased the thought from your brain every time. You knew how much sleep evaded him. The rare nights he could get were a blessing, and you would be a horrible person if you ever were mad at him for recuperating all his missing hours.
You checked your phone, hoping the time on your device would be decent enough for you to get up. You let out a growl of disappointment when you saw the numbers 3, 1, and 0 flash on the screen. You couldn’t help a spasm of frustration only to stop the motion dead in your tracks. You winced, praying you didn’t wake Chan up. After a few seconds of statuesque immobility, you realized your Aussie boyfriend was not in bed. You patted the blankets, searching for his muscular frame, but found nothing. You sat up and noticed the door ajar with a feeble light filtering through the crack.
You got out of bed, not before wrapping yourself properly like a burrito, and went out. Unsurprisingly, you found Chan in his office, gaze focused on the screen before his eyes. His hair was disheveled beneath the hood of his sweater. He wore his favorite pair of sweatpants and looked cozy as all hell. It seemed you weren’t the only one sleep eluded tonight.
You observed him for a few seconds, admired his handsome features, and marveled at his concentration. You felt your heart flutter with love for the man before you, gently humming to some mysterious song only he knew about. You shuffled to him, attracting his attention.
"Oh, hey baby. I didn’t know you were awake." he smiled at you like you were the best thing in the world, and you felt a herd of butterflies take control of your stomach but pouted at the mention of your insomnia.
"I think I caught your illness," you whined with your lower lip deep set in a pout. "I can't sleep well lately." He looked at your moody expression with a small smile illuminating his bare face. God, you were cute.
"Poor baby," he cooed, "I'm sorry to hear that." He opened his arms, motioning for you to sit on his lap.
You did so happily, sitting on his thighs and facing him like a koala. He stroked your back and held you tight.
"I'm sorry for saying I caught your illness. I feel so guilty telling you I can't sleep knowing you've been dealing with insomnia your whole life. I sound like a bratty kid, I'm sorry," you mumbled on his clothed shoulder.
He pulled back enough to meet your face. "Hey, I never said anything like that and didn't even think it. I get how frustrating it can be. As you said, I can't even remember a time when I didn't have insomnia. I'm so used to it that I don't really care anymore, but that doesn't mean I can't show you compassion for going through something similar. Okay? So I don't want to hear anything more about feeling guilty."
You nodded shyly before letting your head fall on his shoulder.
"My beautiful angel", he whispered while kissing the side of your head, just above your ear. You nuzzled in the crook of his neck, took a deep breath, and inhaled his familiar scent, appreciating the calming effect it always had on you.
You finally looked at his screen, wondering what he was working on. As usual, when Chan couldn’t sleep he used that time to work. He figured at a young age that if he couldn't use the late hours of the night to rest, he might as well put that free time to good use. He quickly explained the new song he was working on, inspiration striking in the dead of the night. You nodded appreciatively before settling your forehead on his chest.
You stayed like that for a little while, hoping sleep would find you, as it sometimes happened when you were cuddling with Chan, but nothing. Not the faintest sign of sleepiness.
"You really can’t sleep, uh?" he asked when you wiggled on his lap for the third time. He also hoped the cuddles would have lulled you to sleep as it usually did, and wondered if he had lost some of his effect on you.
You sighed deeply, "I don't know what's happening to me."
He sat back in his chair, hands on your thighs, to face you. He gently lifted his hands to cup your cheeks. You leaned into the touch and almost started purring like a kitten when he stroked the side of your face.
"I think it’s time we use the big guns," he suggested magnanimously.
He carried you to the couch and gently laid you down before disappearing. You heard him rummaging in the kitchen for a little while before he returned with two steaming cups of tea.
"First, a little chamomile tea. It helps to relax and fall asleep." He smiled before handing you the cup. "Careful, it's very hot."
He disappeared again and reappeared with more blankets, his Wolfchan plush you loved, and his laptop in one hand.
"What are we doing?" you stared curiously at him, the hint of a smile playing on your lips.
He sat down next to you and grabbed the remote.
"Now, we put on one of your favorite movies, and you just relax. I have to finish this tiny thing for work, and then we can cuddle. Does that sound good?"
You couldn’t help the smile on your face as you looked at your oh-so-caring boyfriend. You grabbed his face and kissed him deeply. You loved the way his lips just seemed to fit perfectly with yours. Once you pulled back, he seemed a little dazed but stared at you adoringly.
"Woah, what did I do to deserve that?" he whispered, gaze still going back and forth between your eyes and lips.
"Oh, not much. Just being the best boyfriend on earth."
He smiled shyly and kissed your forehead before putting the movie on play.
You cuddled into his side, lightly playing with his free hand. You watched the first movie, sipping on your comforting cup of tea while he worked. Once done, you watched another together until sleep finally graced the both of you with its peaceful embrace.
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trumpkinhotboy · 1 month
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Little critters
Pairing: paul lahote x fem!reader
Type: requested
Warnings: nothing, pure fluff!!
Word count: approx 800
Requests: open! for twilight wolfpack, narnia and heartstopper
A/n: loved loved this request it's so cute and I think the vibes are adorable hehe seeing sam being so soft for emily🥺 so thank you again for this nice request I always love writing for you guys
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"Aren't you the most adorable little creatures I have ever seen?" "You're so cute. I want to keep you forever!"
Passersby probably took Emily and you for some deranged ladies when they saw you crouched in an alley, apparently talking to the ground.
But they couldn't see the adorable little balls of fur meowing back at you with impressive intelligence lighting their eyes. You were leaving the grocery store when you had heard plaintiff meowing sounds and discovered kittens shivering in an old cardboard box.
There was two of them, a fiery black one, who hissed when you first came close, and a grey one who immediately approached you, looking for pets. It had been 10 minutes, and since then, you had dug in your bags to give them water and food. By the way they devoured the bit of ham you gave them, you knew they had been there for a while.
"We can't leave them here," sighed Emily as she petted the black cat on her thighs. The grumpy cat had seemed to take a liking to her incredibly quickly.
"But where can we bring them? I'm scared if we leave them at the pound, they'll be forgotten," you pondered while delicately petting the gray head of the little critter bundled up in your lap.
As if you had just communicated telepathically, you and Emily looked up with a knowing light in your eyes.
Without having a plan, you brought the kittens back to Emily's to give them proper shelter and a long-awaited bath.
The four of you were now on the couch, extenuated after this eventful day. Junior and Paulie, the names you had settled on because of their resemblances with your boyfriends, were sprawled before the fire.
You had just started preparing dinner when you heard familiar howls from the forest. Seconds later, the seven members of the pack entered the cabin. Distracted by the smell of food, they didn't seem to notice the new presence of the two fur balls. Sam immediately headed for Emily to hug her and kiss her cheek. You smiled at the happy couple as you felt a pair of warm hands grab your hips. You smiled and melted into the muscular arms wrapped around your figure.
"Hey, you." "Hey," you answered, a smile in your voice. "What have you been up to?" he sweetly asked.
You tensed at his question, your eyes immediately finding Emily's. Through all your excitement, you didn't have a plan on how to tell seven werewolves you were planning on keeping two kittens.
"Well, actually, it's pretty funny," you started as you turned to face your boyfriend's suspicious expression. You tried delaying your explanation when you heard Seth's excited scream.
"Oh my god! Where do those kittens come from?! They're so adorable!!" he cooed before dropping on his tummy to try and pet them.
"Kittens?!" exclaimed Sam with a questioning look at Emily.
The pack gathered in the living room, observing the two cats, unbothered as ever, lying in front of the fire.
"We found them across the grocery store. We couldn't leave them there to fend for themselves!" explained Emily as she walked to little Sam Junior. The antisocial cat lifted a heavy eyelid at the disruption of his nap, only to meow and lift his head in search of pets when he noticed who it was. She grabbed the kitten in her hands, bringing him close to her chest with an adoring smile. The little beast softly purred in her arms. It was impossible to deny the special bond they already shared.
You looked at Sam with a glimmer of hope. The look he gave Emily as he saw how happy she was told you everything you needed to know.
"What's his name?" he asked with a defeated sigh as he neared the pair. The little kitten carefully sniffed his hand before allowing him to scratch his head.
"Actually," Emily looked at you with a conniving smile. "With his black fur and protective instinct, he made me think of you, I thought we could call him Sam Junior."
Your little crowd chuckled at the name and the resemblance between the two.
"Junior, eh? Sounds about right." He smiled softly. Whenever Emily was concerned, Sam was as docile as the cat in her arms.
Suddenly, a soft nudge on your shins surprised you. You looked down to realize it was the gray kitten. You felt your heart melt at the display of affection and lifted him carefully from the floor.
"Oh, don't even think about it," uttered Paul as he noticed how you looked at each other.
You pouted your lower lip, bringing the little kitten next to your cheek. "Please, please, please, please," you pleaded. "His name's Paulie," you added with a cheeky smile.
Your boyfriend looked at you with incredulous eyes.
"I see it, Paul. He looks like you," added Sam with a teasing grin and a lift of his shoulders, as if to say 'You know they've already won bud'
He stayed silent, observing your pouty face and the sleepy kitten in your arms. Before finally saying, "Werewolves with kittens?"
You gave him a little nod. "Yeah, I guess that can work," he conceded with a grin.
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moonstoast · 2 years
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—about god
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feral-ballad · 2 years
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Ilya Kaminsky, from Deaf Republic: Poems; “Alfonso, in snow”
[Text ID: "You are alive, I whisper to myself, therefore something in you listens."]
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thehopefulquotes · 3 months
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I must walk on the edge of myself.
Ilya Kaminsky, from Dancing in Odessa; “Author’s Prayer,
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texaschainsawmascara · 8 months
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a conversation with God
Deaf Republic - Ilya Kaminsky / Keep Ya Head Up - 2Pac
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tendermimi · 1 year
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richard siken “driving, not washing” / benjamin 2018 / ilya kaminsky “while the child sleeps, sonya undresses”
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thoughtkick · 5 months
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I must walk on the edge of myself.
Ilya Kaminsky, from Dancing in Odessa; “Author’s Prayer,
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resqectable · 3 months
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I must walk on the edge of myself.
Ilya Kaminsky, from Dancing in Odessa; “Author’s Prayer,
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demigoddessqueens · 1 month
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birthday headcanons
Masterlist 10
A/n - given that Julian’s birthday was earlier this week, I wanted to write some headcanons for him
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He will be all down for any romantic gesture you pull
Breakfast in bed for him? Yes! Surprising him at the clinic with gift(s)? ABSOLUTELY
Julian lives for all the attention you’re giving him, taking in all your adoration
If he’s able to spend the day with you, it’s a whole day out in Vesuvia. Picnics, long walks, getting together with Mazelinka and Portia, kiss(es) as it’s sunset
Tons of cuddles the entire day!!
Maybe even some alone time together at the Rowdy Raven
Gift wise, Julian likes when it’s something near and dear to him, a more personalized gift from you speaks volumes to him
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surqrised · 29 days
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I must walk on the edge of myself.
Ilya Kaminsky, from Dancing in Odessa; “Author’s Prayer,
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giddyfatherchris · 1 month
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📱✏️skz reactions — how they react/comfort you (when you’re going through a rough patch with a friend)
| including. changbin, seungmin, i.n
type. requested
warnings. none
a/n. i loved writing these honestly they gave me so much feelings lolol i only wrote it for three members (as per requested) but if getting the reactions from the other members would be something interesting pls let me knoww🤭 again, thank you so much for the request my angel love ya xxx @solisyeah
hyunjin, han & felix
Changbin
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As soon as he saw the words on the screen, his heart tightened in his chest. The sorrow he could feel from you pierced his heart. He knew how sensitive you were, and how hard you tried to make things work for everyone. To hear gossip behind your back and to learn that some of your so-called 'friends' were the source of it hurt more than you could explain. He felt so angry at those people for treating you this way it made it hard to concentrate. So, even if you didn’t ask him, he cancelled his workout, gathered his things, grabbed his keys, and headed out. 
When you heard three little knocks on your door, confusion made you tilt your head on the side with questions swiveling in your mind. In your crying and saddened haze, had you forgotten you ordered your favorite comfort snacks? You headed for the door, wrapped in a blanket, your face the only part of your anatomy visible. You cracked the door open and felt your heart skip a beat when your gaze met with the sight of Changbin, holding a plastic bag with an adorable smile on his face.
"I heard my angel was not feeling too good. Couldn't leave you alone in your apartment now, could I?" he explained with a nervous smile before sheepishly adding, "I got us some snacks."
Your eyes filled to the brim with tears as you pulled him inside and into your blanket for a hug. You nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his subtle cologne. 
"Hey, y/n, look at me."
You reluctantly pulled away to look at him. He took like a punch to the gut the saddened look on your face. He lifted his hands to cup your cheeks and almost melted at how adorably they pushed under your eyes. 
"I'm here. It'll be okay. Let's go cuddle now." He nuzzled your nose with his own and kissed your cheek as he nudged you towards your living room.
When Changbin looked at the time on his phone for the first time of the evening, he realized it was now very late. Yu were asleep on his shoulder, looking so peaceful. You had spent the night eating the snacks he brought and talking about the shitty situation you were in. He had helped you prepare a few speeches and things to say once you would be confronted with the concerned people again. What started as stressful preparations ended with a lot of laughter as Changbin started making ridiculous impressions to help you practice. Once you both settled down, you decided to put a movie on, and not even halfway through it, you had fallen asleep, completely extenuated from the emotional turmoil. 
The young man looked at you with nothing but love in his eyes. He promised himself he would never allow anyone to hurt you if he could help it. Softly, he pushed a strand of your hair away from your face. His heart almost exploded when you softly grumbled and wiggled closer to him.
Yes, he would always be there for you, he swore as he kissed your forehead.
Seungmin
He was utterly furious, there was no other way to put it. The way your lip started shaking when he finally got you to explain the situation to him almost drove him crazy. 
He paced in his room, even after seeing you, even after you texted him and promised you were now okay. 
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Since he had a schedule the next day and would need to leave early, you had met up at a cafe after work. You hadn't even sat for a second that he noticed you seemed off. You avoided meeting his eyes and lacked the usual cheery enthusiasm he pretended annoyed him. For a second, sickening fear held power over Seungmin’s body. Maybe you were here for an entirely different purpose. Maybe you were here to have a hard discussion about your relationship? He felt sick at the thought, but tried pushing it away as he pushed you for answers. Once you explained, all fear disappeared and was replaced with simmering protective rage.
You seemed to feel better after admitting you had a messy fight with some friends, and when you kissed him goodbye, you did look better. Every evidence pointed to it, but still.
He was the one who couldn't let go. Let go of the look in your eyes when you said your friends were turning against you for no apparent reason or without allowing you to discuss it. 
That's why he was still pacing in his room at 9:00 pm. That's why, at 9:10 pm, he grabbed his bags and headed for your apartment. 
You welcomed him with a happy, but confused expression. He looked so riled up, so angry. You couldn’t understand why he was having such a reaction.
"Because I love you," he blurted out, "and I don't understand why someone would willingly make you feel this way. Make you hurt like this. You've been handling this so well, and as much as I am proud of you, it also infuriates me. I wish we could punch them."
His confession made you look at him with big eyes and a slightly opened mouth. You knew he loved you, but he didn't necessarily say it as bluntly as he did now. And especially with what you were going through, it felt so good to hear. You walked over to him with a small smile and hugged him, feeling so thankful for how deeply he cared. Immediately, he wrapped his arms around your body, resting his cheek on your head. 
"I love you too, Minnie." 
He lost a breath and brought you closer. "I just don't like seeing you like this," he grumbled through your hair.
You pulled back to look at him with amused eyes, not hating this protective side of him, when you our gaze focused on the clock on the wall for a second. "Oh my god, it's almost 11:00 pm. You have a schedule tomorrow! You have to go home and rest!"
"If you think I'm going anywhere tonight, you're fooling yourself. I brought my bags and told Chan I was coming here. So, he will pick me up tomorrow."
I.N
Your voice on the phone had sounded so distant. I.N knew something was wrong when you said you couldn't hang out with him and the boys tonight. You hadn't mentioned anything in particular, but he knew about the situation you were going through with one of your friends. Every protective instinct awakened as he debated whether to leave it alone or run to you. It took about five minutes of his knee bouncing up and down relentlessly at the restaurant for Lee Know to tell him to go.
"I don't know what's going on with Y/n, but you should go." I.N looked at his hyung with unsure and questioning eyes. "Go to her," repeated Lee Know, his disinterested manner replaced with calm seriousness for once.
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That's all it took for I.N to run to your apartment. He sent you a quick message to warn you of his arrival, but nothing could have prepared him for the sight he was met with when you finally opened the door. 
Your hair was messy, and you wore some of his old, wrinkly clothes. With dark circles under your eyes, you looked like a ghost of yourself. His heart tightened at the sight. 
"Innie?," you mumbled before he stormed inside, bringing you close to his chest, head resting on yours. 
Once settled on the sofa, you finally explained the whole situation. He knew there was some misunderstanding with one of your friends at work. What he didn't know was that it had evolved to devastating heights. Your 'friend' had started bad-mouthing you to everyone, trying to make it seem like you were the villain. The worst is that you had already apologized and admitted your responsibility in the situation, hoping they would do the same and it would clear up. Instead, the other person had laughed in your face and turned their back on you. 
Losing that horrible person wasn't what stressed you out. It was the fact that this was all happening at work, and they were handling it so unprofessionally. They kept turning some of your coworkers against you and tried to give you a bad reputation. You had started to feel worried about your job and doubled the amount of work you got done to thwart their undermining. Hence, the rough-looking appearance and how distant you had been.
I.N listened to it all, feeling his anger grow with each passing second. It took all in him not to suggest he visited them, but he knew you would hate that. So he kept his mouth shut, softly played with your hair, and tried to be as supportive as possible. Still, he was determined to help you at least a little and suggested you organize a meeting with your boss the next day where you could professionally explain the situation so he wouldn't get any wrong idea from the wrong people. 
Once done with preparing that, you were much calmer. Your rational boyfriend’s mind having once more proven incredibly useful. Tears had finally stopped strolling down your face, and for the first time in the evening, you looked at him with a small smile adorning your lips. 
"Were the boys mad you left in such a hurry?" you quietly asked.
"Of course not. Lee Know hyung was the one who encouraged me to go."
"And you left just like that? For me?"
His gaze settled on the uncertainty of your traits, and he felt his heart soften. "And I would do it over and over again."
The shine in your eyes took his breath away. He stroked the side of your cheek and pulled your head down so it would rest comfortably on his shoulder. "Please, whenever something like that happens, tell me. I want to be there for you. I want to support you through anything, but I can't do that if you won't tell me."
You nodded, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to bother you with my problems. Especially since you were off tonight." 
"Tssk, don't say such nonsense. I've been with these guys almost every day for the past six years, this feels like a breath of fresh air.
You chuckled and nuzzled in his neck, "I love you, jeongin."
"I love you more," he whispered before linking his lips with yours.
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trumpkinhotboy · 9 months
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“I’ll keep an eye on you”
Pairing: Jacob Black x Reader
Type: Not requested
Genre: A bit spooky, but mostly fluffy and comforting vibes
Warnings: Mention of blood and being chased after (but nothing too intense)
Rating: g
Word count: ~ 2K
Requests: Open! For Twilight wolfpack, Narnia and Harry Potter
A/n: Honestly, I’m really excited about this fic. I think it’s very sweet and comforting :3 My brain is bubbling with so many ideas lately so expect new pieces from me in the close future hehe. Also if you have any requests feel free to message me!!
I recommend listening to a Twilight Comfort playlist while reading this. Hope you enjoyy <33
*gif is not mine!!
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Summary: After the reader survives an encounter with a vampire, they are still haunted by the memories of it. Luckily, they have a caring and protective friend who is always ready to ensure they feel safe and cared for, even in the middle of the night.
Wrong place, wrong time.
You squeeze your eyes shut, hoping to erase the terrible images invading your brain. For a week now, they have been omnipresent, taking up all the space in your mind. They are the center and focal point of your thoughts for days on end. As you open them again, your vision adjusts to the darkness just enough for your gaze to fall on a strange form crouched in the corner of your bedroom. You could swear it’s alive. Swear it’s stalking you.
You jump out of your bed to turn your nightlamp on. Your heart feels like it might spring out of your chest of its own accord. Your breath is short, and for a moment, you think you’ll never be able to take one that will actually get air in your system.
The menacing form in the corner turned out to be a pile of dirty clothes, but you knew that. Since that day, you feel irrational and paranoid. Everything feels like a threat, and you are now constantly looking over your shoulder, paying close attention to any suspicious sound or absence of it. You’ve talked about it with Harry Clearwater when you unexpectedly met at the Reservation one day. You did not hear him coming, and he had set his heavy hand on your shoulder to get your attention. Which resulted in a glass shattering scream for you and a bad fright for the poor man. As he invited you in for a calming cup of tea, you unloaded the weight on your shoulder to him. It felt good to talk about it, knowing you could never do so with your dad and your friends. He assured you that it unfortunately was a very normal reaction from your nervous system. You had faced the world's most dangerous predator and had survived it without a single scratch. Of course it would take some time for your traumatized brain to go back to normal. You could never take credit for the fact that you even had a chance to go back to normal, and would never attempt to do so. Knowing very well that without Paul, Jared, and Embry’s arrival, you would not have lived to talk about this encounter.
When you focus and let your mind drift off, you can live the event again, as if you were back in time. The paralyzing fear, the blood in your veins feeling like icy water. There was nothing to be done against a creature like that. You remember the horror you felt as everything became silent around you. You were headed to Emily's cabin, a simple, straightforward walk through the woods. The birds suddenly stopped singing, even the soft wind had died down. The forest knew it was in the presence of something truly horrible and had seemed to hold its breath, along with every creature. The color of its eyes was like in every legend you had been told; crimson red, like fresh blood. Not one ounce of humanity in those orbs, just a bottomless pit of cruelty and hunger. The worst thing was the pull you remember feeling for a split second toward that monster. You knew it was its sole purpose, but felt embarrassed you had fallen for it. Shivers crawled down your spine as you recalled its ethereal and hypnotizing appearance. It’s like you can hear again the faint swooshing sound it made as it sprang towards you. You remember sending out a quick prayer to literally any entity who would be listening right now, but the blow never came. Next thing you knew, three giant beasts tackled it to the ground, gnarling and dismembering it in a matter of seconds.
You open your eyes and shake your head to try and physically get those horrible memories outside of your skull. You lay back in bed, anxiously watching every corner of your room for some sign of danger. You left the light open, you knew there was no chance you could fall asleep without it. You tucked yourself back in bed and tried to calm your breathing. You tried every technique you knew, hoping sleep would grace you with its embrace, but nothing worked.
You look back at the clock after a while. 1:15 am. It was too late for you to get out of bed, and morning was still so far away. You had school the next day and knew that if you spent one more night without sleeping, you wouldn’t be able to explain to your teachers why you dozed off again in their class without them calling your father.
In a last effort, you tried thinking about reassuring and comforting things. Curiously enough, one kept coming back to mind. A giant wolf, its fur a multitude of shades of brown and red. Its eyes were sweet and reassuring, containing a particular warmth. You looked at your phone, hesitating, but remembered his voice: “If there’s absolutely anything, call me okay?”
And so you did.
Twenty minutes later, you got a text. You quietly walked to your window, glad to see Jacob’s familiar shape outside your house. He was standing next to a tree, representing for once a friendly and reassuring shadow in the night.
He spoke quietly. “Having trouble sleeping?”
You nodded, a bit ashamed to admit such an infantile fear. Although, deep inside, you knew there was nothing childish about being afraid of the monster you had been warned about as a child, once you had come face to face with it.
“Are you sure you want to do this? I'd totally understand if you'd rather not stay. I mean it's late and you need to sleep. I don't know what I was thinking…”
“Don't be ridiculous." he cut you off. "I’m already here. And once you’ve been asleep for a long time, I’ll go home and catch up on my beauty sleep, okay?”
You knew it wouldn’t take much convincing from him, there was no point in lying. You needed him. You needed the reassurance and sense of security he always brought you.
"If you're sure then… but Jake. You won't leave too soon uh?"
You heard his low chuckle in the distance.
“I promise.”
You slowly and quietly closed your window. The last thing you would want is for your father to wake up and see Jacob standing below your window. You looked back outside, only to see a giant russet wolf had replaced your tall friend. He was standing under the covers of the woods. Forks was a tranquil little city, but you could never be too careful. He gave you a quick nod, encouraging you to go back to bed. You sent him a little thumbs up before heading to your fort of blankets and pillows.
As stupid as it might have seemed, you did feel a thousand times better knowing that Jacob was right outside, watching over you like a guardian angel. To your surprise, sleep quickly came to you, and you fell into its black hole without any resistance.
//
You’re in a dark forest, running and running and running. You can’t breathe, your hands are bloody, everything hurts. All you can hear is an echoing, cold, cruel laugh. You trip over a root and fall. Something is rushing through the dark woods, coming at you. You get back up and run in the opposite direction, but it feels like you’re not getting any further, like you're running in place. You scream for help, calling out for Jacob, Paul, Embry, Jared, ANYONE, HELP ME. But no one answers, you’re alone, and you’re about to die a horrible death. You trip once more, your leg hurts like hell, there’s no point trying to get up again. You turn around to try and decipher who, what, is running after you. Suddenly, in the dark void of the night, all you can see is that horrifying pair of bloodthirsty eyes. You let out one last scream as it sinks its teeth into your skin. //
“Y/n, y/n, wake up! It’s okay I’m here, Y/n!”
You try to run out of bed but feel a strong pair of arms holding you back. The embrace is warm and smells familiar, but you’re not controlling your limbs anymore. Your whole body is in flight mode. Luckily, the thing (person?) holding you back is strong enough to withstand it, and even though you try as hard as you can to run away, your feet aren't even touching the ground anymore.
“Y/nn, Y/n, shhh. It’s okay, I’m here, it’s me. It’s Jacob.”
You focus on the reassuring tone of the voice and try to convince yourself you're not in the woods anymore. You can see your surroundings poorly illuminated by your little mushroom night light. You're in your room, you’re safe, you’re okay.
Your breathing is still fast and shallow. You blink a few times. Sometimes, the vision surrounding you is one of the cold woods. On other, it's the familiar vision of your room. You slowly turn to face your friend’s face. His brows are furrowed, and his traits have worry written on them in bold letters. He scans you, not quite letting go of your body. Too scared you might start screaming and running again.
“Jake?” “Yes, hi. Welcome back. You really scared me there Y/n.” “What- what are you doing in here? What happened?” Your tone is feeble, and you feel exhausted. You look around once more, afraid this might be some other kind of twisted and terrifying nightmare.
“Am I still dreaming?” You dare to ask. “No, you are awake. We’re in your room. You asked me to come to keep an eye on you, remember?”
You nod, still unsure. What if this was a dream inside a dream? What if the warm limbs of your friend suddenly turned ice cold? What if you looked at him and his eyes turned red, fangs slightly poking his lips?
He can see doubt dancing in your eyes. You don't trust him, or yourself. He holds up his palms towards you, trusting you won't bolt and run.
“See for yourself. I’m real, you can touch me.”
You reach a hesitating finger, carefully poking his own. Seems real enough, feels real. It's warm, the skin is wonderfully tanned, familiar. You’ve seen those hands at work a thousand times. You know them by heart. You poke his cheek, and he gives you a tender smile.
“Convinced?”
You nod once more, letting out a sigh you didn’t know you were holding, as your legs start to shake. That's the thing about dreams, isn’t it? Even if it’s only happening inside your head, your body reacts to it as if it were actually living it. You look at your hands, feeling reminiscent of the pain as if you did scorch them in the woods.
He interrupts your thoughts with a low and soft voice. “Come back in bed. I’ll tuck you in.”
He wraps your hands with his huge ones. They’re warm and feel incredibly good. You let him guide you back to your toasty blankets, but instead of leaving, he takes a spot next to you, shielding you from the window.
“What are you doing?” You ask with a timid voice. “I’m keeping an eye on you, dummy.” Your feet are poking from under the covers. You move to offer him a bit of coverage, but he declines. He is already hot enough as he is, although he can’t deny that his heart seemed to grow a size or two at the kind gesture.
You wait a minute before asking how he ended up in your room. You're not sure you want to know, but curiosity wins over embarrassment.
His expression darkens for a second before he starts talking. “I was just keeping guard outside when I heard a noise. You were calling for me… I didn’t even think, I just got in. You were twitching in your bed. I tried to calm you down, I didn't want it to wake up Charlie, but nothing would do. I was about to forcefully wake you, but you ran out of bed and woke up by yourself.”
“Oh.” You finally let after a few seconds of silence.
“Yup.”
Unconsciously, you're not sure, he took ahold of your hand and lightly played with your fingers. He finally lifted his gaze from your joined hands to look at you, all caring and reassuring. You slide in closer to him. All you want is to feel his comforting warmth and maybe offer him as much as you can too. You feel so bad for worrying him so much. He opens up his arms and cradles you in a bear hug. He won't say it out loud, but he's also in dire need of comfort.
You match your breathing to him, and for the first time in a little while, you’re not scared, not even a little bit. If only you could stay like this forever.
After a few minutes of silence, in which you almost fell asleep, you hear him whisper.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I should have been there. I should have protected you. I’m so sorry, you don't even know.”
“It’s not your fault Jake.” You mumble, and realize you're telling the truth. These are more than empty words. Never has it crossed your mind that this might have been his fault.
“It partially is, if I didn’t drag you into all this you might have been far away. Safe, away from monsters most people don't even know exist."
“I chose to follow you into this Jake. I would be lying if I said this wasn't one of the most horrifying experiences of my life, but it was not your fault. Please get that idea out of your head, okay? I’ll get over it. I guess I just need some time, as Harry said.”
You feel almost fully awake again. He nods, but you know you haven't convinced him. The look on his face is one of guilt, one you've come to know more and more since you learned about his secret. He mindlessly played with a feather poking out of your duvet, avoiding your gaze. Once again, you realized how mature he looked, while still being so young. Too young to carry such heavy burdens. You wanted to hammer the idea out of his thick skull, but you knew there was nothing to do about it tonight. Jacob felt responsible for what happened to you, and convincing him of the opposite would take some time.
Your eyes focused on his tanned skin, and you suddenly became hyper-aware that he was in your bed while only wearing his jeans short.
You inched away of him. “Uhm, want a shirt? I’m sorry, I didn't even think that, since you were in your wolf form, you uh… wouldn’t have one?” You let out an awkward laugh. You were used to seeing him like this, but it was different when you were both lying in bed together in a space that felt so intimate.
“That's nice of you Y/n, but I don't think I'd actually fit into one of your shirts.” He snickers as you get up. You're still wrapped in a blanket as you forage in the pile of clothes next to your bed. You get out of it with a dark cotton t-shirt in hand. It's humongous for you, but you know it will fit Jake like a glove. Probably because it is one of his own.
“There, dummy.” You hand him the t-shirt before jumping back in bed to wrap yourself properly, like a human burrito.
He looks at the piece of clothing and then at you for a good 10 seconds. “You still have this?”
He genuinely looks surprised, but his expression seems mixed with a hint of… satisfaction?
You nod, your nose and eyes being the only part of your anatomy still out of the blankets. You still remember the day he lent you that shirt when you had been caught in the rain at La Push. You never returned it to him, loving the way the gigantic piece of clothing felt on you.
He didn't add anything else before putting the shirt on. “It smells a lot like you.” He adds, a slight tremor in his voice.
“That might be because I wear it a lot to sleep.” You shamefully admit. Your words are nothing more than a whisper, but you know he didn’t have any trouble hearing them. You pull the covers even higher, trying to hide the blush creeping on your cheeks.
“Is that so?” He's smugly smirking. No doubt anymore that he is satisfied with that new piece of information, which makes you want to crawl even further under the covers.
You mutter a quick 'dumbass' before turning away from him. He chuckled before grabbing and pulling you on his broad chest like you weighted nothing more than a feather. You and Jake have always been comfortable with physical touch, but you feel like this is special. You have never done this before. Fine the circumstances were a bit peculiar, but that did not keep you from relishing in the warmth he diffused in waves. You didn't even bother to fake protest. This, is all you need, and you will not be foolish enough to ruin the moment. He wiggles even closer, and you can feel his chest come flush with your back through the layers of blankets. He rests his chin on the crown of your head before lightly stroking the side of his full cheek on your hair.
“Little human burrito.” He mutters. His voice is barely a whisper. Its husky tone makes you shiver. “I’ll watch over you, now go back to sleep.”
Here is part.2 🌟
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ilyasorokinn · 1 month
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always a winner ― ilya sorokin
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note, i love ilya, and can’t believe i haven’t written as many things as i have for other players. he’s literally the love of my life, and i’ve kind of neglected him lol. anyways, this fic is part of the "sorokin, party of four" series. check out this masterlist for more. another note, also, let's please not talk about how this is like a 300 years late. i'm so behind on things and so tired and i think i'm getting burn out? but idk so let's just enjoy that i wrote something :) all-star fics are in the works. last note, sorry one last note. in this fic, mila is 4 and victor isn't really in this, but he is 2 :) summary, regardless of the outcome, ilya sorokin is the best dad in the world to his kids. warnings, kids/children word count, 1286 words (a little short, i'm sorry. it's just ilya being cute with mila ig)
mila’s eyes were wide as she took in the converted football field. she was wearing her sorokin jacket and a beanie with a sequined ‘30’ on it. victor was only 2, so you left him with ilya's parents because you knew he wouldn't remember most things.
"mama, look!" mila pointed up at something before her attention was grabbed by something else. you tried your best to keep up with her but she was running on sugar and adrenaline, a dangerous combo for a toddler.
"i know," you laughed, "slow down, mimi." you called after her. you eventually spotted the girls and all the kids, standing off to the side of the field, talking and taking everything in as well, "look, there's your friends." she quickly spotted all the other kids and ran over to join them.
you followed after her a little slower, wrapping your jacket tighter around you and taking everything in. it still was mind-boggling to you, even a decade later, that this was your life. you were in metlife stadium, watching your husband play the sport he loved, surrounded by a group of girls doing the same thing. it was special.
"take it all in." kristy wrapped an arm around her shoulders, "it's magical."
"this is so insane." you laughed.
after bribing mila with some more sugar and almost having a meltdown, the guys finally came out. before family was let out onto the ice, all the media content was taken. once that was all taken care of, family was finally let onto the ice.
once he was able to, ilya immediately made his way over to you and snatched up mila, flipping her upside down, making her giggle like crazy.
"put me down, papa!" she giggled, trying to get out of his grasp. he put her back down and set her down on the bench. he made quick work of helping her tie her skates and helping her get her helmet and pads on.
after helping mila, he turned to you. even though you had been together for a decade and no matter how much you protested, he would always help you put your skates on.
he kneeled in front of you and grabbed your foot, tying your skate, "new trick?" mila asked. she had been taking skating lessons for a few weeks.
"you want to show everyone your new trick?" she nodded her head, "of course, you can," you smiled, kissing her head and switching legs so ilya could tie the other skate. once he was done, he helped you off the bench, and you each grabbed one of mila's hands, walking her over to the ice.
all around you, the rink was a buzz. everyone was skating around. kids were playing mini sticks, guys were skating around, girls were mingling and skating.
it took a few laps, but eventually, mila was comfortable with skating and let go of your hands and skated around. you and ilya followed behind her and when she did fall, ilya was quick to pick her up and soothe her before she could start crying.
ilya skated off to the bench and grabbed a stick he had brought for her and handed it to her. varlomov's kid was in front of the net, just like their dad, so mila winded up and skated shakily up to the net with the puck and managed to get it past them.
she turned around and looked at you, shocked that she had done it. you both gave her a thumbs up, "celly." you told her. she did a little celly, which the media team had caught on camera and would later be posted on the isles social media account.
she skated over to ilya, who picked her up and held her to his chest, "that was amazing, mimi." you cheered, patting her on the back.
she skated around a little more before she was distracted and started playing with the other kids. you managed to take lots of pictures and got a picture of mila with her favorite guy on the team, mat barzal, cause of course her favorite uncle is uncle maty.
mat carried her around the rink, making her laugh and giggle (which gave the media team more amazing content of mat with a child). you and sydney got pictures of matt holding mila and ilya holding winnie which melted your heart.
the next day, mila somehow overcame the sugar rush and was filled with even more energy. the entire way back to metlife, she was bouncing around in her seat in the car.
"mimi, calm down." you laughed, watching her talk to herself through the rearview mirror, "now remember, when we get there..."
"i know, i know. hold your hand and don't let go, i know." she sighed. you didn't have to look back to know she was rolling her eyes. you knew where she got her attitude from.
"good." you nodded. you looked back at victor, who, on the other hand, was as calm as a cucumber in his seat. he had been occupying himself and barely paying attention to his sister.
you arrived at metlife earlier than all the fans attending, and met up with a few other girls, as well as your parents and all of the family ilya had invited. it wasn't many people, but you were excited to see them.
after pregaming the game with a few of the girls, fans started to arrive. there was a good mixture of both rangers and islanders fans so you were excited. you had left mila and victor with ilya's parents and your's so you could go off with the girls to get snacks and drinks.
by the time you had returned, mila already had a bag of cotton candy and victor was asleep, his headphones on so he couldn't hear all the loud noise. when mila saw you, she looked at you, her eyes big and scared.
"who gave you cotton candy, miss mila?" you asked. without hesitation, she pointed over to your dad. you looked over at him and raised a brow.
"who am i to deny my grandchild?" he simply shrugged, accepting a piece of cotton candy mila was offering him. you shook your head and smiled before turning your attention to the game.
the first period of the game was strong. the isles were up 3-1 and everything was looking good. by the end of the second, it was 4-3 and by the end of the third, it was tied and mila was asleep.
then, 10 seconds into overtime, panarin scored and the rangers fans in the crowd went crazy. when the horn blared, an overwhelming feeling of sadness filled your heart. you knew ilya tried his best and he would probably beat himself up about it.
you left mila and victor with your parents and ilya's family, who would drive back to your home where they were all staying, and you would drive back with ilya.
you followed alexa, matilda, and emma down to meet up with the guys. when you saw ilya walk out of the locker room, you couldn't help but smile. he managed a sad smile back and made his way over to you.
no words were said as he wrapped his arms around you. you stayed like that for a few minutes, just wrapped in a hug. you pulled away and cupped his face, "i'm proud of you." you leaned your forehead against his.
he nodded, "you were amazing, ilya." he nodded again before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, "let's go home. order some sushi and go to sleep." you grabbed his hand and let him lead you over to his car.
-
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feral-ballad · 2 years
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Ilya Kaminsky, from Deaf Republic: Poems; "A City Like a Guillotine Shivers on Its Way to the Neck"
[Text ID: "At the trial of God, we will ask: why did you allow all this? / And the answer will be an echo: why did you allow all this?"]
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perfectquote · 4 months
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I must walk on the edge of myself.
Ilya Kaminsky, from Dancing in Odessa; “Author’s Prayer,
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