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#Im not even gonna say how i feel at this point
moneymartin · 3 days
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・❥・- one more?
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summary: kate comes home tired and needy :( part two to this fic. build up drabble to part three
warnings: none! fluff cause its kate :3 this is kinda shorter than the last one soz. again, every divider is a skip. most are constant cuz im lazy. didn’t know how to end oops!!!
rpf dont read it if ur uncomfy thx
a/n: all yjs reqs r still itw soooo they’ll be out soon poopies 🙄 also my single part drabble for kate is lowk marinating in my drafts and i don’t have the motivation to finish it…
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its been 5 months since you and kate finally ended up together. pretty long, right? but you two never really got the hang of this thing, especially after remembering how long those feelings between you two had been brewing up for. it was still hard for you to show up to her games and practice due to soccer season, and the second it ended, you showed up to nearly every single one of them.
“i really can’t come this time, baby, i told you!” you grumble while kate drags you across the dorm. they had their practice game at carver today but you couldn’t make it, which made kate upset. “dilanni is gonna kill me if i don’t show up.” your soccer team needed to show up together for this fundraiser, and it was during the offseason. fucking lame. you hated letting her down all the time but some things like this just needed to be done.
kate’s fingers grip at your sweater sleeve, her eyes soft, and lips slightly pouting. “can you please just say you feel sick!? you’ll finish quicker than i will and it’s not like they won’t let you in.” she begs and tugs a little at it. her height makes you a little overwhelmed but she’s slightly bent at the knees and trying to make herself seem smaller than she really is. “kate, its just practice. its not like its the final fours yet.” you sigh and make her stand up straight. your eyes dart to hers and you bring your hands up to cup her face. the way she leans into your touch makes your face flush up like never before.
“yeah, but you always show out! i know we’re still trying to keep this on the down low still but i love pointing at you in the crowd before i make a shot during our practices.” she complains, trying to pull her head away from your hands but you keep her in place like a vice. your thumb brushes up against her face and she sighs under her breath. all those shots that she makes have all been for you ever since. and you didn’t even know that. everything she did on the court was meant for you. “i’ll make a deal with you, okay?” your words make her feel a little bit better and she nods ecstatically.
“when you get back we can do whateverrrr you want to make you feel better about me not showing up. does that sound good?” you propose, the idea crossing your mind after you realize that she just wants to spend that time with you while her teammates try to piece together this big puzzle. none of them know other than caitlin, and they’re completely unaware of you and kate’s relationship. “yes! okay, deal! deal deal deal…!” she blurts out and smiles stupidly, leaning her head towards you again as a sign that she wants a kiss.
you give it and let go of her face, wrapping your arms around her waist quickly and pressing another big kiss to her cheek. “don’t work yourself too hard out there.” you breathe out and pat her back before letting go of it. “this fundraiser should only be an hour, trust me.” kate just shrugs and smiles again, less big but you still know that she’s pretty happy at your little proposition for when she gets back. the moment you walk out of that door, her face drops and she rubs awkwardly at the back of her neck. she’s alone now, and doesn’t know what to do. you’ve been with her for every game and every practice so she’s lost most of her motivation to go. “aw, dang it..”
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after your little fundraiser, you come home exhausted and dreary when you realize kate is gone too. you two are exactly the same person, lost without one another. it’s cute but sometimes it’s hard. this whole relationship thing is such a different concept and it makes your head hurt. the lock clicks on the door and you dig through your closet, finding a pair of pjs and some small shirt kate likes seeing you wear for ‘some reason’. which is what she says every time you ask.
a quick change and your casual clothes scatter across the floor before you basically face plant into the pillows. a warm feeling fills up your body while you fall asleep, a feeling that seems different still without kate. you two always sleep and take naps together so this is another thing you have to get yourself used to.
the stupid fundraiser ran longer than it should have. at least another 30-45 minutes extra and you weren’t very prepared for it. kids were all over the place too and you were somewhat on babysitting duty? according to your teammates. you stood with all the kids for at least an hour and the questions they asked you were probably the stupidest things ever.
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the sound of the door opening is what wakes you up, fingers instinctively rubbing your eyes and sitting up. you’re met with the sight of kate rummaging sluggishly through her backpack and taking out clothes. she mumbles out a small ‘hi’ and yawns, walking into the bathroom. the sound of the shower hits your ears and you just lay back down, trying to keep yourself awake to fulfill that proposal you made earlier.
a few moments after the shower turns off, the bathroom door opens and your mattress shifts in weight, a few drops of water coaxing you to open up your eyes. kate is sitting on the edge of the bed and she tucks herself in, burying her face into your neck. “how was practice?” you mutter, moving her wet strands of hair to sprawl out on the bed. she grumbles into your neck instead of instantly responding. “tiring, huh?” you ask.
“extremely.” she whispers breathily and looks up at you. kate’s eyes are slightly droopy and her lips are pursed. your arm wraps itself around her back and you tilt her head up with your hand, making her look up at you as you start rubbing her temples gently. kate’s eyes are opening and closing continuously while your fingers continue to massage her head and she huffs heavily a few times.
you push kate’s head into your neck again and slide your hands onto her shoulders, patting them gently to make her fall asleep easier. she doesn’t though. instead, she hoists her head up and quickly locks her lips with yours, grabbing your waist and holding herself up with her arms. her fingers are gripping at the bedsheets tight and she’s kissing you a little bit too hard. not that you mind, of course. “mmmf.. hey?” you pant and pull away from the kiss, making eye contact with kate and realizing where she’s placed her hands.
“i’m just kissing you.” kate mumbles and doesn’t even bother waiting for you to finish catching your breath. she kisses you again, propping herself up on her elbows and grabbing your arms to wrap around her waist. “y- yeah! but like… let me get a breather at least.” you laugh quietly. you’re still trying to catch your breath and the more you try to get away, the more persistent she becomes. “c’mon. you’re just sleepy, baby. get your butt to bed and you’ll be alllll good in the morning.” you smile and push her shoulders down.
kate ends up falling onto your body and her nose brushes up against your cheek, her lips running up and down your neck as she starts kissing all over it. “one more..” she rasps out and slides her hands underneath your shirt. she starts to claw your back a few times, whining into your neck when you try to push her away. “kate, please.” you grunt and pull back, nearly falling off of the edge of the bed.
her face is the same one as earlier. her big, pretty blue eyes going soft and her lips pouting. she looks like a sad puppy and you hate it. you hate how you can’t say no to it. “just one more! this is the last one and i’ll sleep, i swear.” kate spits out and tilts her head to the side. she yawns, her eyes getting watery and now you know that it’s basically over for you. “i can’t.” you mutter. “yes, you can. it’s just one more kiss, babe. please?!”
“all you have to do is give me one, and i’ll sleep!”
“you say this all the time! you’re gonna say that you’ll ‘sleep after’ but the second my lips land on yours, you’re gonna act like an animal.”
“that’s not true.”
“oh, yeah? watch.”
you cup her cheeks and she grabs your waist gently, your lips going in for one quick one. when she feels how warm you are and how much you’re trying to really prove a point, she just helps your claim anyways. kate’s lips are against yours again, kissing hungrily.
i mean, she’s practically eating away at your face.
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erwinsvow · 11 hours
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had the worst day ever😭 i need some shy!reader and rafe
im so sorry baby hope this makes you feel better ♡
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bad days always felt the same—never ending, dragging on and on while you're too tired, bones exhausted and muscles weeping. your head hurts from the overthinking, and though you're hardly one to get mad about silly things, today you are—mad. it must be something you've picked up from your boyfriend.
everything feels unfair, feels wrong or like it's about to go wrong. you can't even describe it if someone were to ask, but you know your boyfriend will ask, and that you need to get an answer ready since he doesn't settle for your silence, even though today you'd really wish he would.
from the morning that started off late to the afternoon that dragged on, the barista that messed up your order and then was rude to you about it, nothing was going your way. the coffee had just been the tipping point—that was the one thing meant to cheer you up.
when you drag your tired body and achy head to tannyhill, you stop to glance in the mirror in the hallway.
this was your tipping point, how messy your hair was, smudged mascara from when you cried in your car outside the coffee shop and the nail you chipped slamming the door. everything sucked, and though rafe always made it better, you didn't even want to see him when you looked like this.
you want to turn around and go home, but your feet still drag you to rafe's bedroom. your brain knows he'll make you feel better, though it takes everything in your willpower to open the door.
"hey, kid. how was your day?" the second he asks, glancing up from his laptop to look up at you, you burst into tears. he rushes over, putting his hands on your shoulders to keep you upright, to calm you down. "woah, what the hell. what's wrong?"
words don't come out, just sobs. you don't think rafe's ever seen you like this before, but it doesn't take him long to bring you into a hug, and you cry against his chest until his shirt is all wet.
"what's goin' on, baby? someone do somethin'? huh?" rafe is a problem solver at his core—but you know there's no one person to blame for today, except maybe yourself. though you wouldn't mind a little roughhousing, you don't think rafe's gonna be open to beating you up. your words come out slurred in a mumble of tears.
you rattle off your day in between sobs, and when he sits you down on his bed, he's a little less concerned because at least you're okay.
"c'mon," he says, and you lean against his shoulder. "get it all out and then y'can take a hot shower. i'll get dinner. s'gonna be fine."
though you're not saying many words, and a part of you had thought he'd be upset that you cry over every little thing, everything rafe says and does makes you feel better. when you sniffle, moving to wipe your tears, he holds your face in his hands, running a thumb across your cheek to wipe them away. you lean into his hand.
"s-sorry about your shirt."
"don't worry 'bout that, kid. you feelin' better?"
"a little."
"c'mon, clothes off. let's go shower. water as hot as you want it." you perk up, even laughing a little—rafe thinks the water you use will scald your skin.
"really?" you question, smiling up at him.
"really."
"thanks, rafe."
"yeah." he follows you to the shower, and though it didn't take many words or much time, you feel better already.
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I have a fluffy idea for once! No prompts from the list, just brain thoughts:
Adam has been staying in the hotel for a few months, very reluctant to participate at first, but slowly warming up to it. Him and Lucifer had a long conversation about Eden at some point, and since then they've gotten increasingly domestic with each other. While they're not openly in a relationship, they'll sleep in the same bed, have movie nights together, cook together, and be generally affectionate. They try to be subtle about it, but Husk and Angel both picked up on it rather quickly, choosing to keep it between the two of them that they knew.
Cut to the moment: Charlie set up a bonding activity for hotel residents! Ballroom dancing, to build teamwork, trust, and coordination. They switch partners a few times, but of course Luci and Adam end up together eventually. The two of them, having both been important figures in heaven at some point, definitely have ballroom dancing experience, and it shows when they dance with each other. Once the music reaches its end, they're so caught up in each other that they end it with a kiss... in front of everyone. Ensue dramatic reveals, probably some flustered Adam, Charlie being baffled, momentarily angry, and then just really enthusiastic. Them finally getting to be saccharinely domestic with others present :))
Feel free to do with that what you will, I just wanted some domestic fluff <3
Indigo (aroace, lonely, and coping through fictional ships)
AHHHHH I LOVE THIS!!! IT'S SO FLUFFY IM GONNA DIE! LOL
At first Adam was only at the hotel for salvation, to not be murdered a million times over by blood thirsty sinners who wanted revenge.
He tolerated Charlie and her stupid exercises, he was present for them but never really participated. Until one day he said to Hell with it and gave one of them a try. It wasn't bad, but still dumb in his opinion.
At some point he had befriended the porn star Angel Dust and by proxy his boyfriend Husk. Turns out they had a lot more in common than Adam originally thought. They would go out drinking and shoot the shit, it was nice to have friends.
Lucifer was an issue in and of himself. He sold his soul to the guy in exchange for protection and it had been awkward being around him in the beginning.
It's been six months now and Lucifer said he wanted to talk to him. Adam has thought he was in trouble for something he might have done.
But no. The king wanted to talk about Eden. REALLY talk about Eden. He even apologized for his role for the downfall of the garden. They sat on Lucifer's bed talking for hours about Eden, the good and the bad. When he even apologized about taking Lilith, Adam told him not to worry about it. It took him leaving the garden to realize she wasn't his type.
They talked so long they fell asleep. That was the first time they shared a bed and from then on, it felt weird NOT to. So they just shared a bed, it just kind of happened.
Adam remembers the first time they cooked together, it was breakfast with the works. That's kind of how he found out he is shit at cooking. So instead he would hand Lucifer the ingredients and the King would cook the food. He remembers when Lucifer placed his hands on his hips to sneak by and how the touch made Adams heart race.
Adam and Lucifer shared lingering touches that lasted a moment or two too long. How their eyes would lock and they would share gentle smiles when they thought no one was looking.
Angel and Husk saw all of this but didn't say a word. The couple would go public when they were ready.
One thing Adam could make was microwave popcorn. Which him and Lucifer shared as they watched horror movies, snuggled up on the couch, sharing a blanket with their fingers laced together underneath. Adam's head would rest in the crook of Lucifer's shoulder. Sometimes Adam would fall asleep and wake up in their bed.
They weren't exclusive with a defined label, but what they did have was nice.
Today, Charlie wanted to do a new trust exercise. "We'll be doing ballroom dancing! It's a great way to build trust and have fun at the same time. Now, everyone grab a partner. We'll trade off every now and then."
"Piece of cake." Adam said, he had lots of dancing experience from being in heaven. What he didn't expect was to be teamed up with Alastor first. "Keep your fucking hands where I can see them, asshole."
"Trust me, I don't want to touch you any more than you want me touching you." The music started and they began dancing. Adam saw Alastors eyes look over his shoulder, that's when the radio demon brought him in closer. His hand on Adams waist, the fallen angel thought he might be sick. "But if it pisses him off, I suppose I can suck it up."
Adam creased his brow and looked over his shoulder behind him. If looks could kill, Lucifer would have had the deer demon explode into chuck sized pieces. His face softened when he saw Adam looking at him.
"Switch!" Charlie called out.
Now Adam was dancing with Vaggie, much better than that freak. They didn't speak the whole time, which was fine.
"Switch!"
This time, finally Adam was pulled into Lucifer's arms. He smiled at him as they swayed together in perfect harmony, the music moving them. "Hey."
"Hey, did that asshole hurt you?"
Adam snorted. "No, that was just to piss you off." He felt Lucifers arm tighten around his waist bringing him closer. "But if I said yes, would you beat that fucker up?"
"I'd do it just because he touched you." Lucifer meant it, he didn't need a real reason to go deer hunting, but if that fucker laid a hand on Adam he'd kill him.
Adam felt his heart flutter, butterflies danced in his stomach. "I feel so special."
Lucifer twirled Adam outward and pulled him back in. "You are special. To me especially."
They stared into each other's eyes, Adam could get lost there forever. It's like nothing else existed but them. The music stopped but they didn't let go of one another. Adam and Lucifer kept eye contact a few moments more before Adam felt a hand in his hair, with half lidded eyes he looked at Lucifer's lips as he looked at Adam's. The hand in his hair guided him closer until their lips met in a tender kiss.
Adam opened his mouth when Lucifer's tongue licked at his lips asking for entrance and deepening the kiss. Adam sighed softly as the hand in his hair grazed the base of his horns, his own hands clung to Lucifer's shoulders holding him close.
"Dad what the fuck!?"
Adam and Lucifer pulled apart like they had been burned. Oh no! Everyone fucking saw them makeout like a couple of teenagers. They shared looks of shock. They never slipped up like this. They turned to see everyone looking at them with varying degrees of emotions.
"I fucking called it." Angel said looking smug, Husk handed him a twenty.
Adam felt like his face was on fire, embarrassment starting to set in. He was getting uncomfortable with everyone looking at him like a fucking zoo exhibit.
"Charlie I can explain." Lucifer started.
"Explain what? That you've been seeing Adam behind my back and didn't tell me? Cause that was a very passionate kiss."
Adam wanted to die a third time. He put his face in his hands. He was sure all the blood in his body was in his face. "God dammit." He swore under his breath.
"Charlie, dear. Don't be mad, I didn't want to say anything to you until I was sure how I felt."
"How do you feel?" She asked.
Lucifer removed one of Adams hands from his face, Adam looked at him and swore he melted at how gentle that look was. "I, I care a lot about him. Adam makes me happy in a way I haven't felt in a long time."
Adam felt the same way. "So do I." It came out just above a whisper, just for Lucifer to hear. His smile was so wide it hurt his face.
Charlie looked at them and her temper simmered away into nothing. Oh. "I'm glad you're happy dad. I just wish this wasn't how I found out about you guys."
"I'm sorry Char, we kinda, got lost in the moment."
"Like right now?" Angel chimed in. "For the record, you guys dance amazing together. I can only imagine what it looks like when you fu- ow! Husk!"
Husk had pinched him. "No one wants that mental picture."
"Are you mad?" Adam finally asked.
Charlie sighed. "All I want is for my dad to be happy. If that's with you, then so be it. Just don't hurt each other." That would be one hell of a break up.
"Thank you, Charlie." Lucifer said. He pulled Adam back in for another kiss, this one sweet and soft. Adam's heart raced and thrummed with joy.
"Get a room you two!" Angel yelled.
That they could definitely do.
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dykefaggotry · 8 hours
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[image id: an ask from @harbingerofskulls that reads: "im gonna b real i only knew the jerking off i would love to hear you elaborate more if you want to go on the whole situation" /end id]
answering here so i can save as a draft without risking the ask disappearing bc tumblr's been doing that lately but
oh god </3 for everyone else- it's talking about this post. sooo i'm gonna go through each one bc i've been feeling insane for several weeks. i'll do my best to cite my sources lmao
i don't know (johnny johnny)
this is referring to this unreleased VERY early beatles track from 1960. the audio quality is absolute shit & as such unfortunately people love to put words to it that don't make much sense in either direction (i.e a lot of mclennon fans want to hear "you're in love with me" and a lot of people that hate mclennon will just make up the weirdest lyrics that make 0 sense so it's Not Gay). some of the lyrics that ARE clear make it obvious this song is about the two of them running away together- at one point i'm fairly certain paul says "how am i gonna tell my father that we're leaving town?" probably referring to them leaving to hamburg. which would be fine but some of the other lyrics areeeee..... very..... Hm. like multiple times paul refers to john as "my boy" and there's bits of them talking about not knowing what to tell their friends & wanting to just run off together alone. if i were the other members of the band having to record this i would have killed them with hammers <3 also the entire end is just paul going "oh johnny" like 1 million times. okay. sure. also since the lyrics ARE so garbled i mean i guess people could be right about it saying "how am i gonna tell my father you're in love with me" but i just don't hear it. still, a very gay song about running off together and getting away from everything and everyone, complete with moaning the other's name </3
2. paris
this one is a huge part of McLennon Fandom Lore lmao but for good reason. not citing sources on all this bc it's one of those that's just Fact & can be found in like any beatles biography or thebeatlesbible.com (my savior) but. for john's 21st birthday, he got 100 pounds from a rich relative. instead of taking his girlfriend or any of his other friends, he decided to use the money to take paul to spain. but they stopped in paris on the way and just decided to stay there. which i mean like. taking your best friend over your girlfriend to the city of love is a little weird but it's not THAT weird. it's everything else that makes people want to chew glass about it. including some of the other things on this list. like this audio of john just goofing around singing about paris and paul, with such hits as "my cheri, my pau pau my pau paul." which is :| okay best friend. and paul has this picture hung up in his house that he took of john sleeping in paris. okay. sure. why not. (although ig there's some doubt about if the photo is from paris? either way it's a picture paul took and has framed in his house which is incriminating enough my man). also NOT in the original post but may pang, a woman john had a brief affair with in the 70s, wrote a book called loving john. in it, there's this quote:
After a late lunch, Linda launched into a long paean to the joys of living in England. When she was finished, she turned to John and said, “Don’t you miss England?”
“Frankly,” John replied, “I miss Paris.”
okay! also in an interview once he said:
The thing was all the kissing and the holding that was going on in Paris. And it was so romantic, just to be there and see them, even though I was twenty-one and sort of not romantic. But I really loved it, the way the people would just stand under a tree kissing; and they weren’t mauling at each other, they were just kissing.
(interview with david scheff for playboy in september 1980)
3. if i fell
this one i already made an insane post on that started my spiral into posting about the beatles publicly </3 but, essentially, the song "if i fell" by john is..... well it's most likely about paul. he said it wasn't about his wife but that it was auto-biographical and he never really had any public affairs that weren't flings, certainly not a lover. but most damning is he wrote the complete lyrics for the first time on a valentine's day card addressed "to paul with love" with some hearts and arrows pointing to where the lyrics were written. absolutely insane. made me insane.
4. oh! darling
rawest paul song of all time if i do say so myself lmao. but it's just.... Highly Suspicious, that's what it is. a Lot of beatles fans/historians will admit this song is most likely about john but they won't admit that it's fucking romantic if it is. like.
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like that is so blatantly romantic idk what to say other than that. also, in the official recording on abbey road, there's Several points where paul says "darling" that sound more like he's saying "johnny" which is what he called him. people brush it off by saying it's his accent, but there's a very clear difference between when he's saying "darling" and when he's saying "johnny". i mean the Lore behind this is that it was written right when things were splitting up between them (& the rest of the band) so it makes sense and it's why most people are willing to accept it's about john. it's just insane to me that they'll accept it's about john without considering the implications of that.
5. the real life demo
this one made me want to light myself on fire i won't lie to you. but here it is! john had a song called "real love" and this is a very early demo of it. but instead of the lyrics that came to actually be in the song (which are thought to be about yoko but let's not get into the fact that it was on a tape labeled "for paul" but whatever), it includes john fucking crying as he sings saying:
"was i just dreaming or was it only yesterday? i used to hold you in my arms. and now a baby and another on the way... la la la la farm..."
which can quite literally be about no one else but paul, as this demo was recorded when he'd just had his first child with his wife linda and linda was pregnant with their second child. they'd moved to a farm in scotland. hearing this audio clip did genuinely make me want to lie down in the dirt for a week. also "i used to hold you in my arms" just... yeah. god. when people think it was unrequited idk what to say, really.
6. If Paul Were A Woman-
shoving these two together but. in april of 85, paul said in an interview about john and yoko's relationship:
"I mean, I couldn’t stand in the way of someone who’d fallen in love. You can’t say, 'Who’s this?' You can’t really do that. If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and…"
okay bestie <3 and what would make your relationship different if you were a woman? interesting! and yoko had something similar to say. in this audio, she says:
"I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat – because there’s something definitely very strong between John and Paul."
just reminds me of being a kid and telling my best friends "if i were a boy i'd date you" lol. incredible. does anyone here know about bisexuality.
7. stuart!
not much to say here except that john had a best friend, stu sutcliffe, who died young & before that had been the bassist in the band. paul fucking hated him sooo much oh he SEETHED. a lot has been written on that relationship but it was.... very interesting to say the least. it could have just been about the band, or just jealousy over john's friendship, but take that with a lot of john biographers suspecting john had feelings/even a sexual relationship with stuart and it paints a very Interesting picture to say the least
8. john's bisexuality
here's a compilation of quotes about it, but john was more than likely bisexual. which has nothing to do w paul, really, but more to do against people that like to claim they were both Heterosexual Men. although an interesting quote in this compilation is him saying he's "had paul" lmfao
9. paul's post-beatles work
there's just.... there is so so so much here i don't even know where to begin. @ringompreg has a good compilation of paul songs here. a lot of them do take a bit of Lore but like..... it comes down to the fact that both him and john have/had admitted many times to using their lyrics during The Breakup Years to talk to/reference each other and sooooo many of these lyrics are insanely blatant. the two i mentioned were tug of war and let me roll it, both of which are acknowledged to be about john by most people WITH NO ONE BOTHERING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THAT which..... tug of war has this:
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we could stand on top of the mountain with our flag unfurled? dancing to a beat played on a different drum? this is what gaylors think gaylor conspiracy is but paul mccartney is really out here saying this shit.
and let me roll it is so fucking blatantly romantic but every reviewer is like haha! what a cool song that's "making fun" of john and clearly in his style! like are straight people stupid genuinely. anyway:
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bonus to that but about JOHN'S solo work :)))))) he wrote a song called "watching the wheels" and when you consider he very much responded to MANY of paul's solo stuff it's :)
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which as a response to let me roll it would just be... so devestating but it may be a stretch idk if i'm onto anything there it's just worth Mentioning
and there's a lot of others, a lot of them in that post up there. like far too many where paul mentions falling in love with a friend like Alright.
10. paul's first lsd trip with john/"i know" "i know"
this one is less blatantly romantic but it is just insane. here's an article. and a quote from george martin about it. the first time paul tripped on acid w john was bc john accidentally took some and he took him home & then took acid w him bc he didn't want john to be alone on the trip :( but, notably:
"And we looked into each other’s eyes, the eye contact thing we used to do, which is fairly mind-boggling. You dissolve into each other. But that’s what we did, round about that time, that’s what we did a lot," the singer recalled, "And it was amazing. You’re looking into each other’s eyes and you would want to look away, but you wouldn’t, and you could see yourself in the other person. It was a very freaky experience and I was totally blown away."
he also apparently saw john as the, and i quote, "emperor of eternity" during this trip??????? okay
SOMEWHERE i can't find it rn and i'm getting lazy but somewhere they (i think paul?) talk about the fact that they used to just stare into each other's eyes and then say "i know" "i know" which. considering john's song "i know (i know)" makes me crazy
11. in my life/i will
these are really just some devastating songs with lyrics that make you really raise your eyebrows. for in my life, written by john, it's just an incredibly romantic & sweet song that is again, not about his wife. given that the lennon estate is still out here posting pictures of paul to those lyrics i have to say it's a liiiiittle suspicious. and i will is...... it's one that paul insists is not about his girlfriend at the time, jane asher. and when you look at the lyrics vs how him and john met.... like. the song goes:
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and the story of how they met was that paul saw john repeatedly before they ever met, when he didn't know who john was other than that he thought he looked cool & admired his sideburns (lmfao). and when they did finally meet, it was when john was singing at a garden fete (party) and paul was in the crowd just Mesmerized. so. well. you can see.... you can see how fitting that is. makes me crazy makes me want to chew glass actually
12. "we were each other's intimates" and other insane quotes
"we were each other's intimates" is a paul quote about john which is just insane but that's not even the tip of the iceburg. here's a ton of quote compilations.
13. "literally everything else"/honorable mentions
some honorable mentions go out to: john going on stage w elton john & playing i saw her standing there and introducing it as "a song by an estranged fiance of mine" okay! the "just like starting over" demos. okay! which isn't even to MENTION the fact that paul locked himself away in the studio listening to "just like starting over" on repeat for DAYS after john died like???? john saying repeatedly that he considered paul & yoko to be his two major partners in life including in an interview the literal day he died. a whole ass rpf movie where they make out (two of us) made by the same dude that made the let it be movie like. he knew them personally? he worked with them closely? and the only thing paul had to say about it was just essentially that it was what he wished would've happened like???????? i can't find a super reliable source for this so take it w a grain of salt, but apparently paul referred to mclennon fanfiction as "beautiful stories" and doesn't mind them being written. paul also had a cat that had kittens & he named two of the kittens pyramus and thisbe after fictional lovers he and john played and he gave pyramus (the character paul played) to john :|
and literally so much else like all of this and it's not even all of it. it's not even close to all of it. i didn't even get to talk about the way in "get back" the documentary, paul started talking about john leaving the band for yoko and how john would choose her over them and then he got teary eyed, started choke laughing, and then started singing "build me up buttercup" before looking at the cameras and stopping. what the FUCK was that about! IT'S NOT EVEN GETTING INTO THE SONG "TWO OF US" THAT'S SO OBVIOUSLY ABOUT JOHN THAT IT HURTS. it's. it's not even scratching the surface. they were just genuinely insane about each other.
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jwnstars · 2 days
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not sure if u take sunoo requests ! But i really just love the way you write so i wanted to try 🥹
Ive always been interested with a predebut sunoo and just some fluffy first love relationship and hes like down B A D for this person :0
MY FIRST ANONYMOUS ASK 😭🙏 don’t worry dear I take sunoo rq’s, I do all the members. ♡︎ anyway let’s get straight to the point, I can of course do some fluffy first love for you dear !!! (and pre-debut sunoo is perfect for this… I need to hug your brain 😤)
(also love u x3000 the way you said you love the way I write makes me feel sososososo happy so I love u sm babes tysm 🥹🥹)
🪿 . . 김선우 > first love is the gentlest . .
“honey, my love, so sweet.”
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나의 사랑 — predebut boyfie! sunoo x fem! reader. synopsis sunoo is quite literally obsessed with you ever since your school days, so when it was your guy’s first relationship, he took it to his advantage. pairings sunoo is very very clingy like crazy. obsessed and downbad sunoo at its finest :p warnings so fluffy you might die from cuteness.
(sunoo calls you bap and many other pet names, he just called you bap the most before the dating part.)
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first the slight glances, the fast stares in the hallways, then the loud silence when you could feel him staring behind you. until he was more straight forward, passing notes to you sneakily as if you didn’t see him stuffing them into your locker. then it was the valentines chocolates he gave you, not just one, 10 packs of ferrero rocher and your favorite, tulips.
being oblivious definitely did not help, your friends would repeatedly scream sunoo’ has a crush on you, or they would hit you playfully on the shoulder when the both of you made eye contact.
maybe you were the straight forward one, on that day..
“what did you want to tell me, bap?
“I want to be yours. kim sunoo.”
and at that exact second, sunoo kissed you. it was like a need at that situation, at the heat of the moment. you were just so unaware of how much he really did love you. “I love you and your imperfections, bap.”
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the day after, sunoo would sneak up behind you as you walked out of the back door to meet up with him. sunoo would bring you to his arms and whisper in your ear, “let’s go walk together, little bap” he said in a baby tone, reaching for your hand. “wah. I always wanted to feel your hands, it seemed so soft even from a distance.”
“don’t say that, you’ll make me have a seizure on how flustered Im about to be.” you punched him on his shoulder softly, while he just chuckled and smiled warmly. “what? it’s not as soft as soft as I am for you.” sunoo said cheekily, as they walked down the sidewalk, It seemed as if sunoo couldn’t even focus on a thing you were saying. just being hypnotized by your eyes.
“wait what? say that again.” he repeated for the tenth time, catching himself getting lost in your eyes. “sunoo. how many times am i gonna say it!”
“god why do you have to be so cute!” sunoo pinched your cheeks, adorably annoyed about how he couldn’t even focus on ANYTHING.
you guys walked in the hallway together, his arm wrapped around your shoulder as he said hi to mostly everyone who he had passed by, until you both reached your classroom.
you sat next to eachother, holding hands under the table. barely listening, but instead playing with eachothers hands, drawing circles, tossing it around playfully, or just appreciating the soft feeling you felt whenever he reached for your hand and brought it to his. even after class ended, he was still holding your hand. he didn’t separate from you, he was attached to you by the hip. while you guys went out of the classroom, he kissed you on the cheek and you giggled like a little girl. “young love, so inseparable.” your teacher, sighed, as he watched you guys leave the classroom all lovey dovey.
sunoo brought you everywhere, he didn’t want to let you go or let you leave his side. you two were really attached by the hip, it made you feel special. sunoo really did make you feel like the only girl in the world, so not only special, but loved. “hey pretty, can I come to your house after school?” sunoo asked as he leaned on your shoulder, hand on your thigh. “we can watch a movie, bap.” sunoo pleaded you, desperate to hang out with you even longer. “aish. ddeonu, are you sure your gonna watch the movie or just watch me instead?”
“uh. second option.” he acted all proud after he answered, “can’t even be downbad for my own girlfriend. who the fuck let you be so pretty!?” sunoo faced you with a pouty face, but he admitted it, he could never get mad at you and your pretty face. that he adored so badly.
“fine.”
๋ㅤ ࣭ ㅤ 🐚ㅤ — I 🫶 kim sunoo
you were laying on sunoo, the both of you sharing your comfortable bed. cuddling with sunoo felt like actual heaven when he held you so close and so delicate, so gentle, while you felt the soft comforter engulf you so warmly. sunoo was playing with your hair, humming a soft tune to bring you to sleep. “so pretty, my pretty girl.” he watched your little actions and slight moves, he truly found you perfect.
“I can’t focus on anything if you’re in my sight, so beautiful.” sunoo continued to bring you to sleep, you felt yours eyes drooping because of how talented and warm sunoo’s hands were on your hair, alongside that, singing to you to help you go to sleep. “it’s okay, bap, you can sleep.” he reassured you, and sunoo really cared for you, it made you feel extremely happy and loved and all tingly in the stomach. it made you and him go crazy.
as you closed your eyes, he thought you were asleep, so you overhead him talking to yourself. as if he was tipsy;
“she’s so beautiful. keep your cool, kim sunoo. she’s yours now. but how can I keep my fucking cool when she’s so gorgeous and pretty and like the only girl in my world. how is she doing this to me?”
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@ jwnstars !! Is down bad for this sunoo ><
HSHSHSHS I LOVE THIS !!!!!! I hope this is what you expected annonie, I hope u like it !!!! anyway pre debut sunoo was perfect for this omfg :3
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youremyheaven · 1 day
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What are your thoughts on men with prominent Venus nakhatras? Ngl, I feel from personal experience that Purva Phalguni men have an inclination to be more promiscuous compared to other nakshatras 😂 Do you feel Bharani and Uttara Phalguni are similar as well?
my FAV question 😍bc I'm a Venusian men connoisseur, enthusiast and expert 😤🤭
God has given me the exquisite privilege of having known many Venusian men and women and let me tell y'all 😍I love them😍 this is gonna be a bit of a storytime as well so buckle up.
Fair warning, these experiences are a bit of a mixed bag 🤧😤
1. Purvaphalguni Moon guy, super duper sweet, would bring me chocolates, drop me home in his car whenever I asked?? just all around super considerate?? he always did that tall guy thing where they bend forward a little bit to hear you better and idk it always made my heart skip a beat 😌he once saw me argue with a guy and he intervened and then also told me to let him know if this other guy ever gave me trouble (im really into this kind of performative masculinity 😌) he always defended me in front of others?? and always took my side and made me feel comfortable. he asked me out one night and confessed that he had a thing for me for 5 years (i been knowing but I played it cool 😎) but then got all pervy and said he wished I was in bed next to him??? 🤮🤮🤮Imagine waiting 5 years to confess and then u fkn ruin it like that ??? Gave me the ICK big time. I stopped talking to him, 6 months later, he texts me again and says he misses me and wants to ask me out again and I was seeing my ex at that point so I told him I'm seeing someone else and he said ?? it doesn't matter ??? 😭😭 and that he's never ever felt this way ever before and that he wanted me to think this over ??? (I never texted him after that)
2. Purvaphalguni Moon man in his 30s- I worked with him a few years ago. He was super shy and kind of awkward but extremely intelligent and good at what he did. He was married and had a kid. He always gave me mixed signals?? one day I was working with him and it was just us and he said that he's been intrigued by me since the first day and that he usually never initiates conversation with anyone but really wants to talk to me (he seemed genuine and he legit did not speak to anybody there and he had a very warm gentlemanly demeanor so none of this sounded creepy to me) and he told me that I seem very different from everybody else and I was like 😏😏but then he said "you seem to carry a heavy emotional burden" and I was like 😳😳how u know that and I said (we were talking in our mother tongue and I said this using very formal language??) "I don't deny that" and he responded (in similarly formal language) "Even if you do, I won't believe you" and trust me y'all my heart was 😭😭😭he always helped me?? always did little things to make things easier for me?? even when we weren't directly working together, i could always tell he was watching me?? He always indulged me?? I remember how I'd do something stupid and look at him with a 🥺🥹poor me kind of expression and his face would soften and he'd help me out in a very warm genuinely sweet way?? the first guy I mentioned was also like that, the eyes chico, they never lie
3. My ex had Venus atmakaraka so I'm gonna include him 🤪
Y'all the man was obsessed with me. He'd come all the way over to my house, just to see me stand on my balcony 😭 he came all the way over to my house to give me a love letter he wrote for me?? He knew I loved dark chocolate so one day out of the blue, he bought me a big bar for no reason?? along with a book because he knows I love to read 😭😭he loved giving head 🤪i associate being a giver with Venusian men ngl and he always told me he was so fond of it. He always video called me bc he missed seeing me and whenever we went even a little while without talking on call, he'd call me and then say "God I missed your voice, please keep talking, I just want to hear you" 😭😭😭and he'd buy me little gifts 🥺 and we'd do this thing where he kissed me all over my face, even on video?? like I'd point to my forehead and he'd kiss that, then cheek, other cheek until my whole face was covered. I have a lot of moles all over me and he remembered them all and he'd give kisses to them as well 😭😭😭he always told me how pretty I looked and whenever I got shy, he'd do these cute hand gestures that you'd do to coo a baby?? and he'd say "awwww ur sooo cuteee when ur shy" and give me kisses 🥺and he always told me how he wants to see me make art etc and he'd call me after every therapy session to know how it went 🥺🥺 a million things were wrong with our relationship but all the goodness i associate with Venus tbh 😍
4. my Purvashada Moon male friend
he was in a relationship when i was friends with him but again, he was sooooo fond of me 🥺I was chilling with his gf once and he ran up to us with a DSLR and took pics of me and not her?? (I always felt like he didn't enjoy being with her but this moment really cemented that) he always included me in everything and he loved it when I'd make my jokes or tease him or whatever,, I'm the type of person who loves to be taken care of and he was the kind of guy who loved taking care of people,, he was always gentlemanly and sweet and would compliment me randomly?? again, he's never been a creep to me but I always felt awkward about how he seemed to treat me better than he treated his gf (he ended up cheating on her and breaking up with her so 😬😬)
5. Bharani Moon failed talking stage
He was super duper sweet. Extremely gentlemanly and considerate. One thing I've noticed is that all these Venusian men have complimented my voice/said they love to listen to me talk. I used to sing this man to sleep ya'll 🥹and he always said I put him in a trance?? lol? One time I told him that I'm such a boomer and I only know how to use my phone to text and make calls and he said "that's all you need to know cause if you need anything else, you have me" (for context: he was a software engineer) he helped me set up my LinkedIn??? one day we were on call and he asked me "oh the xyz internship you mentioned, can you tell me more about it?" and i thought it was a general question and i started yapping and he did that with my other internships and finally he said, "okay check your WhatsApp" and he had sent me a summarised bullet point list of everything??? and he said "okay now just copy paste this to LinkedIn" and i was so shook?? lol, he stayed on call with me until I was done, i asked him a million dumb questions and he was patient af and literally held my hand through the whole process (setting up a profile is really not that hard at all, it's just filling up a bunch of stuff and he was helping me out with that) after things ended between us, we spoke one more time and he said "I made xyz dish" (a dish that I had told him was my fav and which he didn't know how to make and promised me he would learn) and i was like "why?" and he said "because I was thinking of you and promised you I'd learn to make it" 😩😩😩😩i s2g these Venusian men really know how to get into ur heart bc wtf
6. Bharani Moon, the guy who I think might be my twin flame
First of all, UFFFFF he was obsessed with me. For over a year, he'd just follow me around like a lamb and stare. Even after he asked me out and I said I wasn't interested, he still didn't give up??? he seemed so obsessed with me , it was crazyy, he told me he just wanted to see me and talk to me (I don't know his personality at all but getting those texts kinda creeped me out but maybe he was as genuine as all the other guys?? 😶 Idk) he was always so intense?? like he never shied away from expressing his interest in me, i never expected him to be so forthcoming lol. he came all the way to my uni for no reason than to see me not once but TWICE 🥺🥺wish i could've interacted with him offline to gauge his personality bc based on how he was on text and call, I was put off by his intensity
edit:
7. bc i remembered another guy who was a Purvaphalguni Sun, Purvashada Moon
he was super sweet to me, he always wanted to talk to me, we'd spend hours talking and he always complimented me, he always asked me if he could bring me snacks??? and he lived like half an hour away and he always said "yk you just have to call and ill be at your door" whenever i spoke about wanting to travel, he'd always say "i'll take you" (i had known of him for a long time but we'd only been talking for a few days so i thought it was too much and kinda gave me the ick???) and he was always just doing THE most and then he got super pervy which made me uncomfortable. i told him off for it and he said sorry and then literally in the next conversation when i asked him "what are three things you'd want to do before you die?", he said 2 things and then said "you" and i was like 🙄🙄and he said "dont hold it against me, im a dying man" ICKKKK anyways we stopped talking lol
im actually only now realising that ive had less than positive experiences with Venusian women lol lmk if you want me to talk about that tho 😶
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hecksupremechips · 27 days
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Shinjiham is cute when it’s romantic but tbh I think i vastly prefer the idea of them being best friends instead. Like, neither of them really saw it coming and weren’t really looking to get another best friend (Shinji has Akihiko, Kotone has Junpei and Yukari respectively) but it happens anyway. Kotone takes a liking to Shinji much faster than she does anyone else and I’d say a big reason is just the fact that he’s so reserved that it allows Kotone to do most of the talking while he just listens and they love this arrangement cuz Kotone doesn’t get to talk about her own interests very much. Though I think some of her needs to talk to Shinji stems from this insecurity that he isn’t happy in the group and she has this people pleasing problem and wants everyone to be happy so she makes a much bigger effort to talk to Shinji. And it’s very unfortunate because Shinji intentionally acts cold and distant because he doesn’t want to form any attachments because he wants to die soon, but aaaaaaaagh dammit this girl just keeps talking to him and being sweet and encouraging him to engage in his interests and share them with the others and he just can’t seem to say no when she’s got those damn puppy eyes. And Kotone is just able to get him out of his shell by being persistent but not in an overwhelming way, she’s very cheerful and supportive of him. And Shinji is able to offer her support by encouraging her to talk about herself and by making sure she’s taking care of herself. They just click really well and make such a positive dent in each other’s lives and it’s all about basic acts of kindness going a long way you know?
#persona#persona 3#kotone shiomi#shinjiro aragaki#i uh. probably didnt do much here to prove that their relationship is best when its platonic akjsks i mean idk how to convey it#that these two are just so good for each other but that im just not feeling it romantically#and why should i honestly like cant a guy and a girl just be platonic soulmates like me and jackie aljsks#plus i just have other ships with these characters i like better ahem akishinji and mitsuham yall already know#and i just feel really comforted by their relationship being best friends cuz it makes the pocket watch a lot more power of friendship#and it just. irks me the idea that its romantic love that saves shinji and its romantic love that gave him a will to live#cuz first off you can save him without romancing him and also like if you think kotone is the only person he wants to live for#youre just wrong like in fact its very clear in his social link that he feels this strong love for everyone#its literally like why other characters are so ingrained into his link he loves everyone and they love him back#its just kotone who organizes the time for them all to get together plus like idk when ppl say shinji only wants to live after romancing#kotone its like. well hes not gonna have a good time post coma then huh#and i suppose the point being made is he has to learn to live even if his gf isnt there but again like. shes not the only thing he has#idk i just hate this like pedestal romantic relationships are put on and i hate the implications that like#akihiko has been trying for years to protect shinji and his love doesnt matter cuz it isnt some heterosexual romance#grrrrr it just irks me is all and yeah i just think theyre besties who do everything together#kotone is like shinjis emotional support animal that guides him through the scary crowds and shinji is off putting enough to scare away the#meanies that come their way and they have a dress up montage and make cookies
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silenthillbunni · 2 months
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🌧️🫧💭
#i shouldnt have fav mutuals bc i get sooo sad when they soft block me#which *always* happens like im not joking the day will come when they're just like nahhh bye#🥲🥲 nd i cant help but get sad#nd i dont even agree w that anon who said that 'no wonder everyone blocks u' bc im never mean to anyone#i think it's just bc im fundamentally unlikable and unlovable and the time will come when smth abt me#ticks them off nd nothing abt me is ever tolerated i always have to be perfect for everyone so then i just get cut off like dead weight lmao#also it shows that i get attached so easily but in reality ... ppl are not at all as attached to me 💀💀#like i care abt them but they dont care abt me nd it makes me feel so stupid#why do i so easily care for ppl?????? why do i have to care nd like ppl when it's always gonna end the same way#me being me is bad nd wrong and nobody could ever truly know me nd still like me#i have to live my life constantly hiding parts of myself and making sure im not too authentic or too open bc then i will make ppl dislike me#it rlly is that. im never mean. i never fight. ppl just see smth abt me nd go 'oh ewwwwww' nd then leave#nd if it hasnt already happened it will at some point nd im constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop#whenever i realize i say or did smth wrong im tense waiting for the moment where they'll leave me will arrive#ok this might sound silly bc i was like 'triggered' by smth small but like#all my life thats just how it's been. im not even mean or cruel. i just exist and ppl dont like me or who i am or what i think#i can never be truly myself anywhere. that is sure to result in being all alone 4ever. but i dont like hiding parts of myself#but i have to. but its hard when im trying to hide nd be lowkey but i still manage to make ppl dislike me T-T#idek what im supposed to do bc i just exist nd im not likable. i try to be that but im still not. idk what to do#anyway.. who cares.. j'appartiens seul#but yeah it is bc it's like this for me all the time nd ig that triggered me lmao#i mean just w my sisters.. their issue is just who i am. my personality. i havent been cruel to them. or bullied them. or put them down#they just get irritated from my personality nd who i am. thats what makes them mad. nd they kinda want me to just stop being me nd idk how#to do that and therefore we arent even talking. havent talked for a year#i wanna cry like????? what am i supposed to do??????? im so extremely fucking horrible that just by exisiting nd not being mean or cruel mak#es me unworthy of everything. idk idk like. omg i feel so stupid for being triggered by that#maybe if i had irl friends and a job and a life i wouldnt care but im a fucking loser failure worthless good for nothing idiot. ofc im this
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opens-up-4-nobody · 6 days
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...
#ugh. im so tried. why is crying so exhausting? i havent done anything. this is bullshit#we went from a slow motion breakdown to full on freakout meltdown today#luckily no one was around in the lab this morning bc i couldnt stop crying#so i went to the counseling center and made myself their problem#canceled my committee meeting. which everyone tells me is fine. its all fine#think about going home for a while they say. maybe tell ur dad ur having a bad time thry say#but im so tired. and i dont kno what to do and its all falling apart#i just feel like im brushing up against the limits of what i can do intellectually and its like well where do i go from here?#what do i do with my old data? how do i move my project forward? whats the point of any of this?#why did i put myself in this position? would taking a leave even help? id still have to come back to the same mess#its just so frustrating bc theres no solution ill find satisfying. everything just sucks.#idk what my advisor even told my committee. bc we were supposed to meet tomorrow morning. ugh. it would have been so bad#it also sucks bc im so drained that i can just feel my own weight when im trying to talk to ppl#like u kno when ur being a wet blanket but u dont kno how to fix it. like srry my vibes r wretched. maybe im just stuck like this#i dunno. my dad invited us home for a week in july and also plans to come out to visit me in August. but that seems like a long time away#i dunno what im gonna do. what a disaster#unrelated
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hollowisthyname · 2 years
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ok ok this is probably dumb but i gotta get it out there because i have lots of thoughts and if i don't say them my brain will bother me about it forever so :
earlier today i saw a post about how much darker ride the cyclone could've been- the kids still having their injuries from the fall , having to do the songs and choreography because karnak makes them but having it hurt them and eventually they all just collapse from pain and exaustion- and while that's an amazing concept for a much sadder version and i can tell it would be absolutely DEVASTATING to see performed it also got me thinking about how different that would be from the actual show and the reason they're all there in the first place .
karnak brought them there because , in his own words , he wanted to let them express not who they were perceived to be , but who they dreamt they were . this was his gift to them- "a eulogy" , he says , to these kids unfairly torn from the world before they got a chance to fulfill those dreams . and as he assures ocean after her "catchphrase" , their will is still entirely their own . they choose the songs they sing , not one of them is forced to . he was ready and willing to let ocean concede without singing at all (although i suppose that could've been because he knew she would never go through with it at that point) , and apart from her initial catchphrase , none of the kids object to having some of their moves choreographed . as another post points out , he even lets them do some of their own , unchoreographed , dancing during sugar cube . and all in all , they're happy to have had the chance !! they all get to know each other so much better over the course of the show , and ricky even gets his abilities to walk and speak back so he can better communicate to the others what he wants to say . and of course , penny gets her memory back and is able to live out the rest of her life . it's amazing that even one of them was able to come back like that , and everything that lead to that point helps them all realize things about each other , and life , and death , that they otherwise would never have known .
....i got kinda off topic there . i guess my point is , the "competition" for reincarnation was a gift to the kids , not a curse . it was a way to let them say the things they had always wanted to , and learn lessons they never had the chance to learn in life . to change it to something they were being forced to do , something that was hurting them- that would change the point of the entire show .
ride the cyclone can seem very dark at first- and it is , of course , that is a part of it . but at its core , it's a very optimistic show , and i think that's a big part of what defines it . and karnak , while he can be very sarcastic and mess with the kids (especially ocean , though to be fair she usually deserves it) , is ultimately just .... a lonely guy who knows more than is good for him . and instead of using his power over life and death to manipulate and control the kids for his own entertainment , he gives one of them the chance at life and all of them the chance to express themselves the way they wanted to be seen .
it's optimistic because it says that even though these kids died in a tragic accident , they still have another chance to learn and grow . that's what makes this show what it is , and i love it so damn much . it's hopeful , it what it is , and it's really impressive how they managed to make a story about kids who died in an accident have so much hope ingrained into it . it's contradictory in the most beautiful way , and i wouldn't change it for anything .
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oatbugs · 2 months
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lmao looking at her insta highlights was a mistake
#i feel worse WHY DOES SHE HAVE TONED MUSCLES UGHHH#also my confidence has gone down a tiny bit bc why is she hanging out w all these cool ppl#how is this girl simultaneously a lawyer and also has her social life on max like give me a break#thered a photo of her walking around in heaven either before closing or after opening shes sooo#HOWEVER. i just had a call w her yesterday that made me realise my idea of romance is more romantic than her idea of romance#but also that she doesnt want to do smth super romancey on a 3rd date which according to my friends is fair but according to my heart#it is not. like why are u on a date if u dont wanna do anything romancey at that point just hang out w friends#odd of her to say that too considering our first two dated were quite romantic . anyway#yo this cafe is playing persian music nice. anyway yh#also she makes being middle eastern so gay yk the goodbye fake cheek kiss thing we do . where u like . kiss the air on the sides of the#persons face when ur saying goodbye. ygwim . yeah she doesnt do the fake air kisses she gives u two tender kisses like . anyway#i discussed the stuff she does w my friend and like why r her words so aloof and her actions so...not . and my friends reaction was#basically this is fuckboy behaviour. apparently he used to do that to girls ?? like tell them he rly liked them#and be all charming and romantic even tho he rly wasnt invested at all and he mostly wanted to hook up. like ok#im gonna kill myself then. why would u stroke my hair w my head on ur LAP THEN. WHAT IF SHE TURNS AROUND AND IS LIKE#oops it was nothing#....ill kms actually. no i womt. but anyway#also got added to the gc w the other lecturers givjng talks on the 6th so its getting more real#my friend was like did u do the script yet :))) . almost died shes so scary i love her . but . fuck two exams . crush. talk. ucl cambrdige#three conferences aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA im so anxious i dont even feel anything atp#......I HAVE NO MONEY!!! TO TOP IT OFF#my crush and i are both iranian (aka born w extremely expensive taste woven into our genes) but i wanna like#treat her w the entire 2 quid in my bank account ig ♡♡♡#crushposting
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todayisafridaynight · 2 months
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one day ill stop treating aoki like he was a guy i personally knew that died but todays not that day
#snap chats#if aoki WAS an actual guy i wouldve clicked my heels at his death but no he's a funny fictional guy so im allowed to be dramatic#feels like the first week after i saw aoki die in y7 like Man.. except now there's rage .... ok even more rage who am i kidding--#IW just reopened the wounds i think JVLAKVJEALKV#reopened the wounds and put vinegar and salt in them but anyway. before i start that rant again.#when is ebay gonna start selling the funeral merch no one knows how bad i need the aoki one at this point#i was watching a y7 randomizer and </3 i started cackling cause aoki behaves the same#I.E. he has to be the last enemy standing before the fight ends AND he still summons enemies#so im just watching this poor guy realize this and then become horrified as aoki summons Another Aoki#and THAT ONE starts summoning more units and 💀 STOP HIM#then yk the stream ended but it was still playing the last bits of aoki's theme and. :miku:#god his boss theme is still so good i could cry thinking of it ..... his and tendos are such phenomenal tracks to end the game with#aoki you still suck but i didnt cherish you enough somehow im not sorry and you deserve to be dead but i also miss you#i should replay y7 .... sorry im mental...#liking aoki while knowing he sucks is so fun because i flip flop with saying i love him but also stressing he sucks#i need everyone to know he's not likable and shouldn't be liked but i had a tohru adachi phase in high school so im already a lost cause#ok bye im gonna drink a pot of tea and question where i went wrong as an individual
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beautifel · 6 months
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seems like my heart does nothing but break lately
#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level#for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her#still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions#Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later#jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this#not fair not fair at all this is evil#and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences#i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it#i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity#is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike#Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂#AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪#at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even#LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it#what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol#hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather#kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter#how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there#n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng#or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak#n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own#well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her
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dullahandyke · 5 months
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i look at some of u guys talking abt a new show u watched or a new thing u read and im like. holy shit thats a thing u can do. im in awe of u. i spend my time slowly ping-ponging between several interests whose base componants i can never experience because i get scard
#right now its danganronpa again grin. did u know ive been into it on and off for lets say 7 years at this point#and ive never once played it myself. i have it installed on this laptop ready to go and i just! never open it!#because if Im the one playing it then i have to pay attention and i get scared#but if im watching a lets player i just naturally pay attention without the pressure#ive talked before how i always feel i need to have the smart cool takes on shit#n this deep plays into that#idk boti was good for me bcos nobody fucking knew what it was so nobody could judge me for pardoning anotsu's crimes bcos he was hot#so i probs need to do that again#yknow a thing where i disconnect from anything that anyone knows about and get really really into some dipshit manga from 2008#but also like. i get a lot of my media recs from people talking abt what they like#which then means i defacto have someone who is gonna know if my takes are shit#and like even now. im watching mop cycle w dri and im having fun w it#but i feel bad bcos i see so many ppl like This Is The Best Anime Ever and i just like. dont get it#like i can actively feel the messages and shit whooshing over my head#its a fine anime! i'm having fun watching it! but i don't get all the commentary abt pacifism or whatever#idk. something something my need to be The Smart Kid The Bookworm Kid that went unchecked too long without peers to challenge me#so now im here like Uh Oh#and like this wouldnt be the end of the world (save for its impact on my mood n stuff)#but also like. i am an english student. i should know this shit. but i stragiht up do not feel smart enough to sometimes#i keep coasting by on the assumption that im a smart kid and i'll automatically be better than my peers#and im being disproven#i got an english exam back tonight and i got like 63%#and i like college! i just dont like. college.#anywho its approaching 3am and i have a 9am tomorrow morning which means bedtime
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von-karmas-a-bitch · 5 months
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cell block tango but it's the ace attorney women who killed men (who deserved it to varying degrees and in some cases not at all)
#like mimi could have an EXCELLENT solo about dr turner#and you really feel for her#dahlia is the same but at some point along the way she starts to sound a little insane but it's unclear where that point is#bc one thing led to another for her and the more people she silenced the more other people she had to silence bc they knew something#and she can't seem to decide if and when she started to enjoy it but she wants you to think she enjoys it bc she wants you to be scared#bc actually SHE'S scared she is very prey animal rage#you're left unsure how to feel abt her by the end of her solo but you can't say you don't sympathise#cammy meele is there but behind the mask of haha funny sleepy girl who gets away with slacking off bc she's hot#is a woman who just wanted some quick and easy cash and planned to just do one crime one time to get rich quick#and then quit this stupid job and live comfortably for the rest of her life#thinking it wasn't THAT big a deal and it was very unlikely for her to get caught#but then it turned out this smuggling ring went way deeper than she thought#and now it's either her or the interpol agent. so she does it. she just wanted to live deliciously was it too much to ask#dee vasquez is there too of course#april may is there bc she didn't get to kill a man but boy did she want to#and then there's calisto. who fucking knows what her motivation was. does she even know? all i know is her solo is gonna be INSANE#idk what to tag this as im just gonna not im so burned out rn lmao
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sonknuxadow · 6 months
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saddest thing ever is when sonic games or art or whatever have a bunch of the characters there but still only have vector and not espio or charmy
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