#In reality? We don't get to choose that philosophy a lot of the time. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bluemusickid · 1 year

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Hello! It's been some time!! Missed y'all, hope you missed me too!! I haven't been active but I have checked the tags sometime and am more active on Twitter (w my boo @carpediemm-18 💕🤌)

I am pretty sad to see most of my friends leave, and ik how much of a tough decision it must've been. The fandom has changed considerably and tbh, like most, I don't really care about the whole "relationship" and while i've been enjoying it like a really long Reality TV show/season, there are a few things I feel like talking about, which as a Desi and a Hindu, I was pretty sad to see v few people acknowledge.

First off, let me preface by saying that I feel sorry that her nudes leaked. Intentionally or accidentally, no one should have to go through that, at ANY point of their life, for ANY reason. My heart goes out to her for that, and I hope she has been able to recover from that.

But, I have seen so much discourse about her and her friends. Especially in the context of racism. When I first saw those pics, I was disappointed and hurt. Not because I expected any better from either party, but because in this day and age with a lot of exposure to global policies and discourse, being ignorant is a wilful choice.

I saw her picture with a bindi, and honestly, it seems like they were pretty openly mocking Hindu culture and customs. The bindi, the mudra, the sticking out of the tongue? Yeah, all VERY prevalent signs of mocking, or at the very least, emulating what they've seen in media; which again, is not a proper representation of what our culture is. I have seen people say that "oh, well, when people come to India, don't they dress up in traditional attire and click photos? If that isn't a problem, why is this?" That isn't a problem because you are in our country, learning our customs in person. We are welcoming you to our world of traditions in a proper way, which isn't cultural appropriation.

In addition to that, her friends were very openly saying vile, antisemitic and fatphobic things, not too long ago. You might argue, oh that was a long time ago, they were young, they might've changed and so on. And I agree, I would defo give them the benefit of the doubt in such a case. But most of these tweets are from like 2014/15/preeeetty recent if you think about it. I am close to her age, and even as someone who is not from The West, at that age and in that time, I knew that stuff like this is INHERENTLY wrong. Bear in mind, even if they were in their teens at the time, it's not like it was the early 2000s or something. In 2014, you should know better than to quote Ad*lf H*tler. Heck, even my 12 year old cousin doesn't do that, and he's a complete edgy teen extraordinaire.

I come from a place where colorism is still very much prevalent, and to see people from the West pick and choose what they "like" about Eastern philosophies is disappointing and quite frankly, disgusting. You can't claim to "follow Buddhist principles" and continue associating with such vile people. You don't even have to call them out, but you can distance yourself from them.

I haven't said anything about Chris because he's a grown-ass man and if at this point he continues associating w such people, he's a manchild dicko. But Alba has the chance to change, and she should think about getting better friends when she can. Breaking off a friendship in your 20s is MUCH easier than realising and regretting your mistakes in your 40s.

With that, I sign off.

#chris evans #alba baptista #cevans

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solemg · 2 years

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Again a little about Konan.

And if with specifics - why Yahiko / Konan - the ship that killed Konan as a character.

So, let's start from afar. From the moment we first see Konan. We see her as one of the few female characters in Naruto with character, ideology, and a dream. She understands how the world works and therefore chooses the path of Akatsuki to establish this very world. She sincerely believes that Nagato is a deity, strictly speaking, she is (pay attention to the foot of the grave of Yahiko and Nagato, which depicts the rinnegan). under the influence of Nagato, her worldview is also formed - and there is nothing wrong with that. Because Konan's choice is still: 1) independent 2) unselfish 3) conscious

Yes, we can partly say that the attitude towards Nagato as a god is a consequence of the burden of guilt that she feels: Yahiko died, and Nagato was disabled - and all this was her fault, objective fault.

It doesn't make her a bad character, no. She is still the same good female character, but already traumatized, albeit with guilt - the most banal way to create this trauma, which, however, fits very well into the whole story of the Ame orphans.

And then we are shown the presence of romantic feelings between her and Yahiko. Yahiko, who tells her, "Look after Nagato. He is our bridge to the world."

Now Konan is just a toy in the hands of the person she loved and loves, because in fact, these words partially deprive her of independence of choice (we are talking about the fact that she stayed with Nagato), which casts doubt on her ability to come independently to certain conclusions about the world order and other philosophical issues. Gradually, Konan becomes ... an ordinary female Naruto character. Weak-willed, weak, without opinion, and a nail in the coffin Konan is a short story about Akatsuki. Let's analyze:

1) Konan sincerely believes that Obito has defamed Akatsuki.

It's not about her diligently shifting the responsibility to Obito, but about Akatsuki, as an organization and concept in its original form and in its final form.

So, we have a world whose economy is literally based on wars (let me remind you that less than 20 years passed between shinobi wars, which already says a lot). And Konan, already an adult, believes that the Akatsuki concept of "a world with minimal use of military force" is something that can change the reality around her. Is there any logic in this? No. Because Konan: 1) is not capable of complex analysis 2) loves Yahiko, who until his death believed in some kind of "mutual understanding" (how does mutual understanding guarantee peace?). These two points synergize with each other, forming Konan's strong belief in her own depravity (after all, she believes that she is not entitled to have children ... because she has done many terrible things, and not because she lives in a world where her child - potential cannon fodder). As a result, Konan's guilt is magnified many times over. And what does she do? That's right, he begins to believe in Nagato as a deity, but not because of the logic and progressiveness of his views, not because he gave Amegakure peace and prosperity, but because of his inability to cope with this feeling of guilt, as a result: Nagato is not just God, but the one on whom, again, Konan can shift the responsibility. Share with him the pain and the guilt. And this would not make her worse if everything did not come from her miserable views, which remained similar to her views at 15 years old.

We get: 1) the words of Yahiko (who also glorifies Nagato, literally forces Konan to be with Nagato) 2) a greatly increased sense of guilt 3) the only close person she has left is Nagato.

Does Conan have any ideology? Philosophy? Methods for achieving peace? No. They simply don't exist. Because a teenager in love sits in the body of an adult 35-year-old woman. This is clearly seen in how easily she trusted Naruto. And to be precise, she didn't trust him at all. She was indifferent and just did what Nagato told her to do. And the whole Konan is in this: Nagato did not say to gouge out his eyes - she did not gouge out; Nagato said - I chose a new path (emphasis on "I") - and Konan did the same as he did, without even comprehending the reason for Nagato's act (from which her verbal conflict with Obito followed, which Nagato just understood very well) ; Yahiko said be with Nagato and she stayed with Nagato. The only thing she cared about when Nagato used Rinne Tensei was Nagato himself. As soon as Nagato told her to stop, she didn't stop him. And I would calmly accept it, if not for the hypocritical words about the world that she wants to achieve. Seriously, if she said in plain text: "I don't care about the world, all I'm interested in is my friend." - I would understand her. But no: Conan constantly talks about the world (in those cases when she is allowed to speak at all, and to be more precise, when she allows herself to speak).And moreover, perhaps I would like her if I was sure that Obito and Nagato terrorized her for 20 years, and under the yoke of two sociopaths, she would not stand it and become a faithful slave of the red-haired tyrant. But in the confrontation between her and Obito, we are made clear: if Konan hates Obito with all his heart (and blames him for all the troubles), then Obito himself does not care deeply about her. He doesn't show any remorse for killing her and, mindfully, shows respect for Nagato (albeit mixed with resentment).

The dynamics of the Ame orphans, fortunately, judging by what was shown, did not suffer in any way from the fact that Konan and Yahiko were in love ... but it had a strong effect on subsequent events, but this is more a reproach to Yahiko.

Later on, we see that Nagato is, to put it mildly, indifferent towards Konan. Yes, he once said that Konan and Yahiko are people for whom he is ready to kill, but in the future ...

Yeah... you know

You know, many blame Obito for lack of adequate motivation. I agree with this, but let's not forget that a stone fell on his head, but what excuses does Conan have, except for the banal story of a dead lover - I, unfortunately, do not know.

And yes, Nagato, be kind

#nagato uzumaki #pein naruto #obito uchiha #konan naruto #naga bullied konan #maybe toxic

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vicariousanti · 6 months

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i enjoy using both placidus and whole sign, and every time i try to pick one or the other, i realize how pointless it is because they both work in very accurate ways (imo)

i have an 8th house jupiter in placidus, 9th house in whole sign. and man. when it comes to some of my beliefs? you would think that i committed some form of extreme harm. it's like i'll casually dump some knowledge in a conversation, and it makes people SO uncomfortable that they push back, feel defensive, or just tune it out. it's like they aren't willing or trying to hear it unless they desire to.

which part of me understands, another part of me though does wish that people weren't so terrified and afraid of knowledge. especially in the digital age with how much misinformation can be spread (intentionally and unintentionally). people really don't like facing the truth, and i also can't blame them when a lot of educational schools in my country would hide the truth as well

having an 8th house jupiter means things that i say are just too tough or too weird to handle, and people don't know how to outright say that, so instead they either create an argument or dismissively ignore it. and so many times i thought oh, maybe it's my wording, maybe i need to really try to find a way to say things better. but honestly? if people aren't ready to face the truth, the delivery quite literally doesn't matter. it's just semantics. they will pick holes and try to make you feel bad about it when in reality they just are annoyed of the truth. not saying you need to be extremely mean or cruel, but i can't remember a time i was any of those things. was i direct and firm? sure. but that's not synonymous with mean.

i think that's why i can get annoyed at times of people that dive into escapism. not saying 8th house placements can't or don't escape, but i do feel like often times we are constantly seeking out the reality of situations and information about it—although this can also apply to my 9th house. i think with my 8th house, it's just information that makes people feel uncomfortable so they don't want to hear it, vs. if it's like philosophy or information that doesn't require them to feel *too* uncomfortable

and people pick and choose what information they're okay with being uncomfortable with! it's like people can dive into true crimes all day but the moment you bring up things like the actual atrocities of this world that isn't just a fantasy that you can consume through youtube, people start to get weird. Like. Real Weird. it's like, wait a minute. sorry. i just wanted to go on youtube and watch a video about people being murdered. i didn't want to hear actual realities of how it's going on in the mundane in a political way! (just to be clear, it's not political to be humane.)

anyways. as an 8th/9th house stellium it can be quite frustrating when you realize how many people are just anti knowledge that makes them uncomfortable. they think learning is only amazing if it makes them feel good, or affirm beliefs they already had. and then people wonder why things don't change. don't get me wrong, it's a multitude of factors, but if you aren't even willing to put away your comfort zone to learn about the past, the present, and the future? then how are we going to get anywhere? that's for another time though

#astrology rants #8th house #9th house

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fictionadventurer · 4 years

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I like your post about the Hunger Games and agree with most of it, but I still think the love triangle was unnecessary and people are right to criticize it. Collins could have very easily written Gale as the best friend and Peeta as her main love (based on endgame choices) or vice versa I don't even care since I'm not a big shipper of either. But she did introduce the unnecessary drama that overall did not add much to the plot, and it only took away focus. So I think I understand that crit.

Once upon a time, I might have agreed with you. These are good books, important books, and we don’t need to defile this war epic by shoving in teenage-hormone love-triangle dramatics. Then I reread the series, and I was astonished at how, for the most part, the love story is inextricably intertwined with the action-adventure elements. You can’t take out the love-triangle elements without creating a very different book with a very different message. That love-triangle, far from defiling the war story, elevates it into something better.

It starts almost immediately in the first book. We see how Katniss has a deep friendship with Gale, something that could turn into romance, except that she doesn’t dare to go down that path. There’s no place for marriage, and definitely not for new children, in their broken world. She only has energy for day-to-day survival. And once Katniss goes into the Hunger Games, romance is definitely off the table. She needs to harden her heart and make no human connections with the people around her if she wants to have even the slimmest chance of making it back home to her family. In a lesser book, she’d be right–there’d be no goopy romance to distract us from the hard-bitten survival epic that the Hunger Games is supposed to be.

But then Peeta declares his love for her. Suddenly, she’s part of an epic romance on national television. She wants nothing to do with this strategy–love makes you look weak. (And doesn’t that sound a lot like people who criticize the YA love triangle?) But Haymitch counters that it makes her desirable to the audience, and suddenly the thing that had seemed so burdensome becomes necessary to her survival. She needs to play the game–and once they’re in the arena, she needs to figure out if it is a game to Peeta. Peeta has already shown himself capable of manipulating the emotions of all of Panem–is it possible that he’s manipulating her?

This is the real brilliance of the first book’s romance. It doesn’t distract from the main conflict–it is the main conflict. Like so many other teenage girls, Katniss asks herself, “Does this teenage boy like me?”, but in this case the answer is literally a matter of life and death. If he loves her, she can trust him to help her survive. If he doesn’t, he could kill her at any time.

By the time she finds out that his love is real, she has to fake romantic feelings toward him to draw in sponsors. Now she’s manipulating his emotions to survive, and she can’t hope to untangle what’s real and what’s fake in this manufactured mess of a reality show. But Peeta’s influence has shown her that love isn’t pointless in the Hunger Games–it’s the only way for them to truly fight back. She chooses love for Peeta–whether romantic or not–over her own life, and that’s the only reason that, for the first time in history, two victors manage to beat the Capitol at their own game. Katniss won not by being the best warrior, but by showing love. The love story wasn’t a distraction–it was the solution.

It’s only in Catching Fire that she has to deal with the consequences of that. She was willing to die for Peeta, but she’s not sure she wants to live with him, especially since their relationship started under such unreal circumstances. She’d much rather leave the Games–and Peeta–behind and return to the life she knew before. That life included Gale, and Katniss is, for the first time, willing to consider him as a romantic partner. If her romance with Peeta was fake, is it possible that she could have real romance with her best friend?

This is the point where the love triangle comes into full swing, and I’ll admit this is the book where it’s integrated most clumsily. It seems like Katniss is taking some unnecessary risks in pursuing a relationship with Gale, and the plot sometimes comes to a screeching halt so Katniss can think about her emotions. But even if the plot integration isn’t as smooth as it was in the first book, the thematic relevance of the love triangle is still spot-on. Katniss has to think about what she wants–cling to her old life or dive into this new post-Hunger Games world? Does love have a place in this world at war? And when we think about the question in that way, the sloppy integration of the love story into the main action plot is kind of the point. Katniss may be instigating a war, but she’s still a teenage girl. She still has emotions, but she’s being forced to hide or fake so many of them that she doesn’t know who she is, what she wants, or who she wants to be. How can she discover her identity, hold onto her humanity, in the middle of a war?

Mockingjay is where we get the answer to those questions. With Peeta imprisoned in the Capitol and the war underway, Katniss is saved from having to make an immediate decision about her romance. She echoes every romance-hating fan’s thoughts when she says:

The very notion that I’m devoting any thought to who I want presented as my lover, given our current circumstances, is demeaning.

There’s a war going on! There’s no time for love triangles! But it’s only when she’s not being forced to pursue romance with Peeta that she can really evaluate her relationship with Gale–and she’s finding that it’s not as strong as she thought. When she needs advice, she gets it from Prim, not Gale. When she needs someone who understands the trauma of killing, she goes to Finnick or Johanna. Now that Katniss and Gale don’t have the shared bond of having to care for their families–who are kept safe and fed by District 13–they’re finding that they don’t have much else in common. Katniss is mistrustful of Coin, while Gale is part of her inner circle. Katniss kills only when she has to during the war, while Gale treats weapon design as a fun challenge. This exploration of their relationship isn’t a distraction from the main plot. They’re what make the main plot mean something. This is the lens through which Katniss considers her views on violence, on war, on life, on what the point of their fight is. She and Gale literally have arguments about utilitarian principles! It’s only by exploring and then severing this leg of the love triangle that Katniss finds out who she is and what she really believes.

Collins couldn’t explore these issues in the same way if either Gale or Peeta wasn’t presented as a romantic interest. The nature of eros is desire, and the whole point of the Peeta vs. Gale question is Katniss figuring out what she wants out of life. She needs to be drawn to both of them, in the same kind of relationship, if the question and answer are to mean anything. Does Katniss want her old life, with Gale as the most important person, with his anger driving her to fight for survival by any means necessary? Or does she want a new life with Peeta, where they live for something beyond mere survival? Which man, which philosophy, does she want to devote her life to? If Peeta was the love interest and Gale was only the best friend, she could have both in her life. But you can’t resolve the trilogy’s central question by having Katniss compromise. Choosing one side means she can’t choose the other–and the only relationship that requires such an exclusive choice is a love triangle. Far from distracting from the main plot, the love triangle is what elevates it, takes it beyond a war story where the only question is how the characters will survive, and makes it into a story that tells us how the characters are going to live.

#the hunger games #suzanne collins #catching fire #mockingjay #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #gale hawthorne #katniss/peeta #books #answered asks #this is long and rambling and i apologize but it's the best i can do #i already spent too long on it #but it does feel really good to finally have this written

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haleigh-sloth · 3 years

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Hello,

I just found your page and after reading some of your mha posts had a couple things I wanted to ask if that's ok.

1. Since you feel Hawks is not justified because he could have chosen options other than killing Twice, do you think he would have been had he genuinely been made to choose between killing him and saving others? I.e. do you think it's just this killing in particular that was not justified and thus murder, or do you think heroes killing can never be justified, even if in self-defense or defense of others? If we take the "Heroes save people" maxim to its limits, it might be reasonable to argue for a deontological approach to ethics rather than a utilitarian one, so that killing one to save others is not justified because you actively break your code (as opposed to risking not being able to save others, which would be considered a lesser moral wrong under this mindset).

2. This might very well be a stupid question, but if we consider that heroes shouldn't treat others as an it and put them down for the "sake of society", do you feel this ought to extend to AFO too? I really don't mean to use this as a gotcha moment or anything like it, but I feel like if MHA is trying to move away from a punitive justice system in favour of a rehabilitative/restorative one, we ought to consider where people like AFO fall into this system as well. AFO is seemingly entirely unlike any of the other villains in the show, but if we judge that he deserves a different fate for this it also feels like playing into the "Some people just can't be saved" notion that's been perpetuated by hero society. It is of course entirely possible, if not likely, that he'll fall in battle, or that Shigaraki himself will kill him eventually, but I feel like that skirts the issue rather than answer it. As someone who does not seem to show any remorse, desire or even ability to be saved, and in fact feels rather inhuman, what should a reformed society even do with him? Even if we could convincingly argue him to be fundamentally different and thus deserving of punishment, it is much easier for us readers who have more information to make this call, rather than in-universe characters whose judgement will inevitably be based on something less than the full truth. So even if AFO's case in particular was easily answered, it would set a precedent for cases that may appear similar, but in truth be less clear cut. Basically, I believe you feel the villain league deserves another chance because they were victims of their circumstances, and thus not necessarily beyond salvation, because they never knew normality to begin with, but what about those who were not victims, those who by their nature have insurmountable trouble fitting into a peaceful society? Perhaps it's just my mistaken assumption that such people exist and I'm reading AFO wrong, or perhaps it's the opposite and I'm giving people like AFO undue consideration, or perhaps my assumption that AFO ought to be treated as a person rather than a carocature, a symbol, is flawed to begin with, but I just really don't think a manga that wants to argue that villains are people too should go "but here's THIS vile piece of shit, let's kill him!". Am I making sense here?

3. On another note, what do you think of Endeavor's recent speech and general recent development? I've seen some people who were upset by his "Would it fix everything if we showed you our tears" line, but rather than him being dismissive or callous I just see it as him awkwardly saying that he doesn't think anything other than actions can help him atone for what he did. He's still got a lot to work through, but him recognizing that he's got something to atone for and freely talking about what he did to his family is, as I find, certainly a huge step in the right direction.

WHOO hey! Sorry for taking a while to respond. You gave me some really well thought-out questions and I wanted to return the favor with well thought-out answers. Also I was heckin busy yesterday when you sent this. So, here we go:

To answer this question about Hawks, I first need to clarify what it means to be a hero in the eyes of the story that is BNHA:

This honestly doesn’t even make a dent in the amount of panels in BNHA that reiterate time and time again that heroes SAVE people, but I don’t feel like I should have to spend too much time looking for them, these I used above should suffice. The one with baby Midoriya and baby Tenko doesn’t even have any words in the panel, and it’s still powerful enough to get the message across. And make me cry.

Almost every story has its own “heroes” in it. And every story’s definition of a hero is different. In Marvel and DC superhero comics and movies, the heroes usually end up killing the villains, yes? I can’t say I’m familiar with these stories because they aren’t interesting to me in the slightest, but from the ones I HAVE seen, the final boss at the end dies. But all of the heroes get to keep their title of “hero”. That’s not really the standard we have in BNHA.

“Do you think it's just this killing in particular that was not justified and thus murder, or do you think heroes killing can never be justified, even if in self-defense or defense of others?”

So this is a fair point and I feel that the best way to answer this is by asking what you consider self defense? Say Hawks is at home mad chillin and not prepared for a fight in the slightest, and somebody breaks into his house and starts trying to hurt/kill him. He’s unprepared and at this point just trying to keep himself alive. If he ends up killing the guy, is he wrong? In my opinion, no. In real life this happens to people, and they aren’t considered murderers, as they shouldn’t be. To me, self defense is a situation where:

It’s either you or me. It’s one or the other.

I think it’s fair to say what happened with Hawks and Twice was absolutely NOT self defense. I’m not going to go into detail about how deciding to kill Twice was absolutely 100% premeditated, because there’s a wonderful post by someone else that already explains that in great detail here. But I’ll end this thought by saying that Hawks was not committing an act of self defense.

Nothing about this says “self-defense” to me.

“If we take the "Heroes save people" maxim to its limits, it might be reasonable to argue for a deontological approach to ethics rather than a utilitarian one, so that killing one to save others is not justified because you actively break your code (as opposed to risking not being able to save others, which would be considered a lesser moral wrong under this mindset).”

To make it simple for some people to understand these terms:

“Utilitarianism is an ethical theory that determines right from wrong by focusing on OUTCOMES.�� In a nutshell, utilitarian ethics means you make a decision based on how it will affect everything else.

“In moral philosophy, deontological ethics or deontology is the normative ethical theory that the morality of an action should be based on whether that action itself is right or wrong under a series of rules, rather than based on the consequences of the action.” In a nutshell, deontological ethics means you make a decision based on whether it follows rules or not.

So this is a complicated question, and my answer to this is....both? Throughout BNHA we’ve had this dilemma over and over again:

Break the rules and save the day? Or follow the rules and possibly suffer the consequences? Well, BNHA just says “Yes” lol. Do both. Break the rules and save the day. Make a decision based on the consequences of said decision, but also try to follow the rules as best as you can. Even in reality, people do this to get through life. You really can’t live life under a strict utilitarian approach or a strict deontological approach. If Midoriya hadn’t persisted against his classmates and the law to go save Bakugo, he WOULD have gotten kidnapped AGAIN. They were actively trying to take him with them. If Midoriya didn’t break the rules to save Kota, Kota would have straight up DIED. Muscular was actively trying to kill Kota, not to mention Kota had zero ways of defending himself. But here’s where I don’t think this is a fair comparison:

Hawks claims his killing of Twice was to save others. I don’t completely disagree with this logic, if the situation was more dire and dangerous for Hawks. The league was taking peoples’ lives. Somebody had to do something. The problem is that Twice was RUNNING AWAY when Hawks killed him. Twice wasn’t fighting Hawks back, he wasn’t endangering Hawks himself. Hawks stabbed him in the back. AND Hawks had Dabi to worry about, who was actively trying to attack Hawks. But Hawks chose to murder Twice instead of fending off Dabi. And if you refer back to the post I linked above about how it was a premeditated decision to kill Twice, you’ll see that Hawks had the capability of knocking Twice unconscious. He should have done this from the get go. And honestly? There are other heroes who could have captured Twice. There SHOULD have been other heroes to capture Twice. If Hawks was the only hope for the heroes in that war then jeez, the heroes suck at their jobs.

So TLDR for this question: Hawks’s circumstances were not drastic enough for him to be justified in killing Twice. As I said above, self-defense is one thing, where yes I could understand how if a life is lost while defending oneself is probably inevitable in some cases. But this wasn’t self defense. Twice was running away. Hawks should also be able to rely on his hero comrades to help him out.

Instead Hawks chose to be law-enforcement, judge, and executioner all in one moment.

I hope this answers your question? I tried my best. If I misunderstood or missed a talking point, feel free to shoot me a message or another ask.

Next question:

Believe me. I have thought about this! What about AFO? He’s human too isn’t he? You have a point. Should the restorative justice system extend to AFO? I would say yes. If I’m going to stick to my guns that the villains deserve restorative justice and not punitive justice, I should be fair and say it should extend to all villains.

The problem is not in the idea of exploring saving AFO, it’s just that there simply isn’t enough time to explore this in the story. If Horikoshi had said “I’m not going anywhere guys! We’re in this for the long haul!” I’d say it’s possible to explore that route. We don’t know anything about AFO except from what we’ve seen on screen, and what we’ve been told by All Might and the other OFA holders. Which still isn’t much to go on. You’re not giving AFO undue consideration. It’s definitely a deserved consideration. There are people in the story (and the real world) who may not be victimized in any way and end up being villains. Do they deserve a chance? I’d say yes. It’s in my nature as a social worker irl to give people the benefit of the doubt and give them a chance to learn. You’re right that in the end, the league being saved and the characters not considering what could have led AFO to villainy is just “skirting around the problem.” And honestly, that’s probably what we’re going to get. I wouldn’t be surprised for the thought to pass in Midoriya’s head. After saving somebody like Shigaraki, who everybody in the story (and many readers) considered to be “too far gone”, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Midoriya entertained the thought for a brief moment. “What could have saved AFO from himself?” So honestly I don’t have an answer to this question that qualifies both sides. I can’t say that AFO is “too far gone” without undermining that fact that I never believed Shigaraki was “too far gone”, simply because we don’t get to decide what “too far gone” is. All I can say is that in the eyes of the story, there are far too many differences between AFO’s circumstances and Shigaraki’s circumstances to compare the two, and say they deserve the same type of sympathy from us readers.

Truly I have no sympathy for AFO, because the story doesn’t ask for it. The story wants sympathy for Shigaraki, Toga, Touya, Spinner, and even a tiiiiiny bit for Overhaul. It asks for NONE for AFO.

Another post I’ll link here that isn’t by me but by another awesome meta blogger (@hamliet) is this.

In a nutshell it says:

It’s not that AFO can’t be saved, it’s that he won’t. That’s the best answer I can give to that question honestly.

As for the third question:

That press conference was just...eh. I mean yeah, Endeavor not denying the allegations was good. Not that he really could anyway. It sucks for the rest of his family though. But at the same time Touya deserved his revenge, even though it was at the expense of his siblings and mother. It sucks, it’s a double edged sword because somebody is hurting no matter what was gonna happen. Endeavor was an asshole to that lady but I don’t really care too much. I’m really torn on what I think is going on inside Enji’s head because the Todofam is either extremely dense, or Horikoshi is writing their dialogue extremely vague on purpose to keep reader’s on the edge of their seats regarding what they want to do about Touya. I really don’t know. I’m not thrilled with the way the Todofam plot is being written right now, even though I’m 100% sure Touya is going to get his happy ending. But right now anything to do with the Todofam that isn’t Shoto and Touya just bothers me. I don’t think Enji really understands yet what he has to do for Touya. Yes he recognizes that he has to atone, but he’s not recognizing HOW he has to atone. Right now he’s still stuck in that “I have to be a hero to absolve my crimes against my family” headspace and I don’t think he’s going to get out of that headspace until he comes face to face with his son and realizes that he can’t just fight villains and go home to a happy family that he terrorized for 20 years. He’s going to have to let his family go, let them decide when to let him back in, if they ever do (I think they will just because of the way the story is being written.) As a reader, Enji is just a character that I cannot vibe with, no matter what happens. I definitely appreciate his role in the story. His role is vital to Touya’s saving and redemption. Touya is in my top 3 favorite characters from this series and I’m emotionally invested. So while I appreciated Enji’s role in the story, I don’t like his character or anything to do with him, at least until it comes time to help save his son. Also the trio of Hawks, Best Jeanist, and Enji just gives me major back the blue vibes and I just can’t read their chapters and be in a good mood lol.

Thank you for the ask! I hope I answered everything! This was fun to answer!

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not-poignant · 3 years

Note

Hi Pia!! I love your work and have consistently been reading it for over a couple of years, currently every TIP update u post makes my days a bit brighter 🥰

It is also thanks to you that I started posting fics last year after more than three years not doing so. While some of my fics have been wildly popular in a fandom some others don't seem to have landed as well within the same one, so I wanted to ask, what do you do about those stories that excite you but that don't seem to have found an audience yet, or that they never will?? How do you work through the fear of them not being worth your writing time?

Have a lovely day 💚🍀

Hi anon,

This is a hugely complicated question.

For a start, for writing that is for income, if I think it won't do well, I don't write it (although only to a point, I wrote The Gentle Wolf because asexual representation mattered more to me than sales, but it still hit hard when that turned out to be true). I don't like to mess with things that pay the bills. I hate that I have to look at metrics in that sense, but I do. But thankfully we're not talking about original fiction:

For fanfiction, things are different, and there might be a lot of different things going on.

For a start, almost always, when people ask me this question they are still getting some interaction on their fics, just not as much as they wanted or imagined. It can really help to like, remember to be grateful for every person who interacts, and not just the 'quantity' of interactions.

I think like... I am a big fan of 'write for yourself' but it's also true that I write for interaction on AO3. Just... only you can decide how much of the former will compensate for not much of the latter. There are people out there who are like 'if I was only writing for myself I'd keep it in my computer.' I'm not like that, and I don't vibe that way. I write for myself but enjoy sharing it, in case something that worked well for me, works well for a stranger. Everyone is different and that's eventually going to be what the crux of this post is, lol.

Popularity is influenced by the fact that some fandoms are more dead than others and lack interaction across the board in general (Persona 5, for example, is notorious for this). Some fandoms like certain tropes more than others. Some fandoms are massively popular for three weeks and then die almost immediately. And so on and so on.

Ultimately fandom is fickle, it's loyal to the stories they like more than the authors they like, and you can't predict what will be a flash in the pan and what won't be, and it doesn't always have anything to do with the quality of the fic itself or the tags you used. (This is sort of like how sketches will sometimes get tens of thousands of notes and a 300 hour single piece of quality art will get 400 notes, while a professional artist tears their hair out in pieces).

Sometimes, a fic will be more interesting to me than the reality of fandom interaction and I'll write it. Touching and Melting for Houseki no Kuni is a good example of that. A tiny fic for honestly an extremely quiet and tiny western fandom in terms of fic, which looks like it had a lot of interaction 3 years on, but had almost nothing in the first few months. And sometimes the fic idea won't be more interesting to me than the reality of the fandom interaction, and I won't write it. I go story idea by story idea.

But I've also taught myself to really think about a) the way I talk about interaction and b) to really value every individual that leaves a kudos, or comments, or public bookmarks. When I sort of started out with Shadows and Light, I remember being so bummed when a story didn't do as well, and thinking that meant it was doing 'badly.' Let's be real, Game Theory when it started out had less than a tenth of the interaction of SALverse, and I thought I had failed. If I'd given up at that point, well... all of this wouldn't exist.

And then just looking at fanfiction, it's like.. well, sometimes fics do a lot worse than other fics, there's usually at least one person who will read it and leave a kudos. I remind myself that to that person, the story mattered or meant something, which meant I didn't just write it for myself anymore, there is interaction.

This is much harder on stories that have zero comments, and zero kudos, obviously, no one likes to feel as though they are shouting into the void. But it's also my experience that writers who've had popular fics, don't often have 'zero kudos fics' when they say a fic is doing really badly. They just..maybe need to value the individual interactions alongside how good a 'mass' of interaction can feel, or alongside how good 'quantity' can feel. I do really think that's a skill that a lot of like...enthusiastic fanfiction writers have mastered or at least are learning.

Sometimes it really helps to have somewhere in private to vent to when you feel emotionally overloaded or insecure, and honestly sometimes it can help to re-evaluate.

For some people, writing fic when a certain threshold of interaction isn't reached, just isn't worth it. I can't convince people like that to keep writing. If there's a deep seated 'this isn't worth it' then stop doing it.

If there's 'this is insecurity and I'm not good at valuing everyone and I feel down right now but it'll pass' then...work quietly and patiently and compassionately on strengthening your resilience and your trust in your own writing, and your ability to value individuals who interact and engage on your fics. If you don't do this, you may end up bitter and resentful, and that can influence your entire relationship with fandom, and worse, the people who interact with your fics.

Also, finally:

How do you work through the fear of them not being worth your writing time?

In fanfiction, I do not base whether something is worth my writing time on the quantity of people who will interact with it. It is worth my writing time because I'm really excited to write it, and I want to share it, even if people don't respond immediately, or even if only one person ever comments.

I don't...have this fear that you have based on the things you're basing it on - my fears are different to yours. It's fanfiction. It's worth my writing time because I'm eager to write or fix or alter something in canon or I want to make the two boys fuck because no one else was going to, and because I can generally trust that one person out there will probably read it, even if I go back over 10 years ago and my Livejournal fics were only getting like one comment per chapter. If that.

If your metric for 'worthiness' is 'quantity of interaction' then - I'm the wrong person to talk to, I'm literally motivated to write fanfiction by completely different factors to you. I didn't start SAL knowing it would get popular, I thought people would hate me because I killed Jamie in the first chapter, and up until that point none of my fics had been popular.

I can't convince you on the things that convince me, when our foundational motivations are different. If you want quantity and that's what 'worth' means to you, I don't know what to tell you, I would never have written SAL in the first place if I hadn't been the kind of person to just write fanfic for almost no / or no interactions, and still enjoy that single person who said 'I really enjoyed this thank you for writing.' I didn't spring into being as someone who was writing fics that got a lot of interaction, that came...years later, y'know?

So what is worthy to me sounds like it's also just different to what is worthy to you. Ultimately, there are people only writing fanfiction on the basis of how many people interact with them, and...I don't know how those people keep choosing to write honestly, and I think a lot eventually abandon it, because there's no algorithm to crack in order to be successful every time. Maybe...remind yourself that you've had popular fics in the past and therefore you will again? And that you can't get to that point without less popular fics on the step ladder in the meantime? Therefore, even a fic that doesn't feel 'worth your time' will be a stepping stone to the one that is?

Imho, I think my fics are worth my time because I enjoy reading them once they're finished. And then I think they're worth my time because other people enjoy them. Having a popular fic is fun and nice, but honestly, often a fluke, and doesn't always say anything about the quality of the writing (some of the most popular Yuri! on Ice stories with 10,000+ kudos were like...not always...the most well-written stories, but people were desperate for Content, and it was certainly that).

But yeah, how I think about fanfiction is very different to how I think about 'fiction that has to earn an income.' Ultimately I don't want to apply the latter philosophies to the former, other people do. If you're applying 'this needs to hit a certain threshold of interaction to be worthy' as your basis for writing fanfiction, then...we have very very different motivations for creating content in fandom! And I'm the wrong person to ask.

As I said, it's complicated, lol.

#asks and answers #pia on writing #pia on fanfiction #people have different values they bring to writing fanfiction #i've seen folks just say 'it's not worth it' if they're not getting like a certain amount of kudos or comments #and idk #i don't relate to that #which i know is hard to believe now but like #i *literally started out*#posting fics on livejournal and on livejournal communities #thinking it was a small miracle if like #*a single person commented*#and that's what sustained me for years #if that would've made you quit #we're here for different reasons anon

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uomo-accattivante · 5 years

Text

One of the things you can’t help noticing when you talk to Oscar Isaac is just how incredible he is at playing the part of Oscar Isaac. It’s not that he’s putting on a performance. But when you talk to Oscar Isaac, the public idea of Oscar Isaac begins to make a tremendous amount of sense.

We talk a couple of days before the release of Netflix’s new Triple Frontier, an action-adventure heist/American military allegory flick (it’s a lot) that Isaac stars in, and Isaac manages to, within the span of a few minutes, quote Shakespeare and express guilt about shoplifting in his college days. In other words: He’s sensitive with a risky streak. It’s no wonder the Internet has declared him its boyfriend (and more recently, its husband).

This quality, of course, is part of what makes Isaac so compelling to watch when he’s playing an actual role. He seamlessly shades his characters with duality; by turns he can play dour and charming, cerebral and clueless. Take Triple Frontier. Isaac portrays a character, Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia, who is essentially a stand-in for Donald Rumsfeld. He’s tasked with rallying an all-star gang of ex-Special Forces agents (played by Ben Affleck, Charlie Hunnam, Pedro Pascal, and Garrett Hedlund) to execute a covert heist of a South American drug lord. It’s an ill-fated, and perhaps misguided, operation, but Isaac makes you believe that nothing can go wrong—and, moreover, that what they’re doing is inherently right, all while emitting a sense of manifest failure.

On the heels of turning 40, Isaac hasn’t given much thought to where he wants to take his talents for portraying complex characters next, only that he wants to scale back. “Doing the circus thing can get tiring after a while,” he says. Though, it won’t be long before he talks about what a thrill it was to train for a daunting high elevation chase scene. The change of tune comes off genuinely; he digs a good adventure, but also wants to settle down. It’s both. And it’s Oscar Isaac, so you believe him.

Happy birthday!

Thank you.

Did you do anything exciting?

We had a little bit of a house party. We just moved to a new place. So we thought, “Why not trash it? Have a party.”

It was a pretty big birthday [40]. As you move into middle age, are there new kinds of roles you're interested in playing?

No, not necessarily. But it's just kind of fun to start a new decade.

Do you have a philosophy in terms of how you choose roles generally?

Oh no, if only. Things would be so much easier. Choosing roles is really more like falling in love. I don't have a specific type that I'm looking for. It's just kind of if I read the thing or speak to the director or see some art that's connected with it and it incites something where I can't stop thinking about it, then I keep moving towards it.

Tell me about how you fell in love, then, with the character of Pope in Triple Frontier.

I worked with J.C. [Chandor] on A Most Violent Year. That had gone well. And I knew he was somebody I could trust in the editing room. You could try lots of different things and he won't make you look like an idiot. And then he talked to me about the kind of guy this is, the parables behind the whole movie, it being an allegory to the way the United States has operated throughout the world, and how in some ways my character is the Donald Rumsfeld of the story. [Pope] says, “Look, we can do this. We can take out a really bad guy. We'll be rich. We'll be in and out. No problem.” And so there's a bit of hubris there about their skills—even though these characters are incredibly skilled. But he underestimates the team's greed.

Once I became involved, we started having conversations. We thought an interesting complication—and one thing that would make it not feel so cliché—would be making the character of Pope actually from the area that he's been working in. There's a familial connection to it, so there's something more at stake. He wants to take out this guy not just as a trophy but because he actually thinks it'll make a difference.

In Annihilation you also played someone in the military. And I read that you at one point had considered joining the Marines. Is there something about diving into that military world that attracted you?

Yeah. That's definitely something I had been into when I was younger, and I had imagined that that was an avenue I could've gone down for my life. And I was very near going to boot camp and starting that whole process, and then other things happened that took me away from that. So I think there's always something inside of me that wonders about the What if? of it.

I can be quite a good student when it comes to certain things. So learning the mechanics of working with the weapons, learning about situational awareness and clearing the room, the team-building exercises—all those things, I got very excited by. And also, there was a lot of high altitude training.

What was that like?

What was cool was that all of us had a different physical task. Garrett [Hedlund] was the MMA fighter and there was a whole MMA fight that ended up getting cut down quite a bit. So he ended up spending a lot of time training that way, training with jiu-jitsu. Pedro [Pascal] spent a lot of time with the cockpit and flying. And then Charlie [Hunnam] and Ben [Affleck] both found things that were specific to their characters. And for me, I knew that I was having to do this extended chase sequence in Colombia, which was between 10,000 and 13,000 feet, depending on exactly where we were shooting. So I knew that was something I needed to train for just so I'd be able to do more than one take without throwing up. And I found a place here in New York that's a hyperbaric chamber that's able to replicate what it's like to run in different altitudes. They have a treadmill in there. And an oxygen mask, and even a tent you could sleep in at night to get your blood saturated with oxygen.

When you were preparing, what kinds of things did you learn about the military that surprised you, or that you didn't know when you were considering joining the Marines way back when?

I was a kid back then, so I didn't know much. I was like, “I'll get fit. I'll get money for college. I'll go in there because some of my friends are planning on going in there as well.” There were some people I admired who had been. This was like 1998. But the reality of it is the amount of sacrifice—not just physically, but emotionally. Being separated from your family for long, long periods of time. And especially special forces guys, who are just the elite, top of the top. There's this sense of [it being] these tough guys, these killers, chest-pounding guys. The truth is the people we spoke with [have] humility and soft-spokenness and ethical codes they go by, [there’s] lack of rejoicing in violence, the desire for connection, and the way deadly force is viewed—all those things I found to not be clichéd adolescent ideas of what being a military guy is.

The movie is very much an allegory about the American military and the country's greed. But how did you internalize the individual sense of greed that you're portraying in the film?

There's something that's epic about it. It's a very primal tale. Macbeth is the same thing. Macbeth is a heroic soldier. The entire first part of Macbeth is everyone saying what an incredible soldier Macbeth was, what he did, how he was fearless, courageous, how he saved his men. He is the hero. And then that little thing gets in there like an infection, this thought, What more could I have? "What do I deserve for everything that I've done?" And that’s mixed with the violence the person is seeing. So that for me was very interesting. Noble people who have a tragic flaw that brings them down. For my character, it was less the money. It was more revenge, taking out this one guy he's been hunting since he's been down there. He actually believes that if he cuts down this head, the rest of the thing will fall.

Did you return to moments in your life or career where you caught yourself letting greed get the best of you?

I think when I was in college I definitely did some damage at the Tower Records across the street. And the Barnes & Noble... And a couple liquor stores. There was a sense of, “I am a college student. I can barely make ends meet over here. This is a big company; they're not going to mind if I take this book of poetry.” So I could justify snagging a few items here and there. But of course Tower Records closes down, and I can't help but feel at fault.

It’s not your fault.

It was a flawed system. They had the bargain DVDs right next to the place where you walk out. So you could just put [your bag] right there next to it, go through the metal detectors, and then reach back and grab your bag.

Do you think you could graduate from Barnes & Noble theft and pull off an actual heist?

No. I wouldn't know where to begin or what to do. Anything I know about it is from movies.

Are you a fan of the heist genre?

I like the heist genre thrown on its head. My favorite movie is Dog Day Afternoon. And that is another thing where it's like, Let's do this thing. We're going to rob a bank. In and out of there. And everything that happens after that is, to me, the most exciting part. It's people in extreme situations. I worked in a hospital when I was younger, and that's something I learned a lot from, seeing people in extreme situations. You see the entire spectrum of humanity in those moments.

As a musician and a big music fan, how do you use music to get yourself in the mindset of a role?

I've done that for ages. Often for me, it's less specific about, This makes me think about this thing. It's more about what gets me to a place of readiness, openness. What makes me feel connected to the earth a bit more. Sometimes I'll put together music that I find inspiring thematically, or tonally. But I think if it's something that needs any real depth of emotion, there's this one guy named Ernst Reijseger, an incredible cellist who did the soundtrack to Werner Herzog's Cave of Forgotten Dreams. I listen to that and it puts me in a primal state. It opens me up so I'm able to receive anything that's floating around inside without judging it too much.

Were you listening to that for this role?

For this one, there were a couple moments when I did. But I think I listened to a lot of Sepultura, a Brazilian hardcore metal band. It gave a sense of the chaos and the violence, and it has some Brazilian kind of tribal elements to it. So it felt like a bit of a mix of everything they're getting involved in down there.

What's the best piece of direction you've gotten in your career?

The first one that comes to my mind was just like the sweetest way of saying "Tone it down." A great writer, Hossein Amini, he came over and in the sweetest way said, "The camera is just not able to capture what you're doing right now. We don't have the technology yet to get what you're doing. So you just have to bring it down a bit so we can capture it on the camera."

My editor insisted I find out about the footage you filmed for the Disney Parks upcoming Star Wars-themed lands. Is there anything you can tell me?

I'm afraid I can't, because actually I don't really remember [laughs]. I think some of it happened in the middle of filming the actual movie. So they were like, "Hey, today you're coming in and you'll be in the cockpit." So it's those kinds of situations. I'm sure I'm in the cockpit and I'm screaming about something important.

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#oscar isaac #triple frontier #pope #santiago garcia #poe dameron #star wars #episode ix #ben affleck #charlie hunnam #garrett hedlund #pedro pascal #interview #gq magazine

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lesbian-ed · 5 years

Note

How do you move on? I've been in love with this girl for years and I only recently realized we'd never truly be in a committed relationship and it broke my heart. I miss her and I think about her everyday. I joined Her and I've gone on a few dates, but nothing has stuck. I don't really want it to or expect it to, but it still sucks.. I'm completely emotionally unavailable. I feel like I could sleep around and feel nothing. I've never felt like that before. How can I move on?

First and foremost, Anon, I think we need to dispelthe notion that moving on and getting over a broken heart necessarilymean jumping on to the next woman in line. If, as you said yourself,you are emotionally unavailable, my experience is that trying to bewith someone else to break the spell won’t aid you in the least.

See, moving on isn’t about moving on to the nextgirl, but moving on with life, with ourselves. You shouldn’t be attempting toerase the mark this girl has left on you by inviting lots of other women into your bed because it won’t have any effect if youhaven’t done the proper ‘digesting'—it’s no use to strain your bodyto fit in with another while trying to mend your heart and change yourmind. There’s a whole process involved, one of letting go and‘enjoying’ one’s solitude.

I know 'enjoying’ might seem a bit inappropriate whencoupled with the word 'solitude’ in light of an unsuccessfulrelationship, but there are elements of enjoyment to be found inbeing alone once one has surpassed that initial moment of disbelief,hurt, possibly despair. There is nothing novel in recommendingsomeone time in dealing with issues of feeling, I’m sure, andthere’s a reason why people will tell you to wait and let timeflow, but what most fail to tell you is that you cannot sit idly bywhilst consumed by the thought of this one girl, the errors orproblems that led to this outcome, wishing things were different—onthe contrary, I think one must use this moment to assess things asrealistically as possible. If it didn’t work out, then it wasn’tmeant to be—otherwise, logically, it wouldn’t have broken, wouldit?

There is a difference between grieving what we thinkmight have been amazing and condemning ourselves to misery by believing that that was the one chance for happinesswe’d get in this life. The first is a feeling that comes and goes,for, even in the future, when we have left this wholly behind (and itwill happen if you let it, if you make it happen), we still do findourselves wondering 'well, what if?’ but we don’t lose sleepover it anymore; it’s casual, human curiosity. Whereas the second option can lead us to a statevery close to what you’re describing, in which we become somehow verydependent on the memory of what was and on the desire of what couldhave been (or should have been, in our minds), dependent onthe idea of the woman that does not want us back. And that is bad.

It’s common in the first weeks following a break-upor another kind of romantic disenchantment, but to suffer years ofthis, of being shackled to one person who is clearly not at allshackled back to us?

You ask, Anon, how to move on. One must allow time tosweep away the dust of our sadness—but, and many will not like mesaying this, one must also give oneself permission to move on; onemust, at some point, actively pursue the overcoming of our sentimentif time by itself won’t do the trick. And to do that does not mean topursue someone else—but, perhaps, to pursue ourselves.

Now, personally, I dislike psychology and I do notwish to present myself an expert on the matter (Sappho forbid!), butthese sorts of issues, of over-dependence on an ex-girlfriend, onwanting what didn’t come to pass or what has already ended (or neverbegun, depending on the case) always seem to me linked to issues ofconfidence and self-esteem, as if one found it hard or unfeasible toimagine oneself without that person in one’s life. But the truthgenerally is that the person in question is already out of ourlife and we have not yet accepted that reality. For fear, perhaps; ofnever being loved again, of never loving someone to thatdegree again, of never settling down and finding happiness in thearms of any other woman… Reasons abound.

But we tend to feed on a handful of illusions and allof these motives for fear are just that: illusions. Nobody losesvalue by not being corresponded in love; nobody ceases to beimportant because one person in the world suddenly thinksdifferently; nobody is doomed to sadness because we believe ourselvesunloved and/or unloving. I wager we put too much value upon others’perception of us, that we base too much of our happiness on otherpeople—wonderful people, sure, women who stand out in a crowd,otherwise we would not have loved them, but even so we should notforget ourselves to their benefit. We should have the courage to facelife as it is; to choose to move forwards, to leave behind that whichgives us nothing.

Someone might argue that to love a woman still,albeit she loves us not, might give us some strength here and there;that this ideal, romantic, self-sacrificing love is ‘inspiring’; thatit is the only force driving us onwards, that it compells us to make something outof ourselves so those cherished eyes will once again befall us… And I would be forced to respond that livingfor someone else, and especially to that degree, is no way of living.It shouldn’t be difficult to verify that these circumstances are farfrom healthy—and to cling to a love with so much potential for harmis masochistic to say the least. We build prisons out of our owndreams, sometimes, and pain from our joys. With all the romanticismwe tend to use in approaching relationships, it’s a fairly commontrap to fall into.

You might accuse me of being unromantic or unfeelingto speak of these things in this tone, but I assure you I know allabout seeing no way out, about being chained to someone I loved whowould not bat an eyelash towards me. We all have at least oneexperience with this kind of thing and we must find ways to breakfree from this conundrum.

I said earlier that moving on might have something todo with finding ourselves rather than someone else to replace thewoman we loved. That’s also got to do with self-esteem. Many will saythey are incapable and unwilling to love themselves because theybelieve the 'love yourself and others will love you’ line a fallacy;whether it is true or not is completely negligible, because you don’tneed to love yourself, just accept and, perhaps most of all,respect yourself.

Respect your faults and qualities, the time you needto get back up again. Get to know yourself a bit better, enact a bitof harmless selfishness (as in 'I want to see that film in theatresand so I shall, regardless of company’ rather than 'fuck mum and dad,I can spray paint my room and turn up the heavy metal to full volumeif I want to’, mind you), spend time with yourself.

That is, I think, the best and only way to trulyheal. Talk to yourself, listen to yourself. What do you like doing?What are your wants and needs? What are your dreams? What’s yourfavourite smell, food, colour, book, film? Maybe you enjoy walking orswimming or sculpting or meditating or writing. Immerse yourself inyourself. Amidst the chaos of contemporary life, despite thepressures of study or work or peers or family, take a few minutesoff to be with yourself. No, you will not find a void there—and ifyou do, who better to fill it with something nice than you?

You mentioned putting yourself out there, trying toget in touch with other women, but I think sometimes we need to getin touch with ourselves first. And not just when getting over abreak-up or something of the sort, but as much as possible.

It well may be that this is nothing but my own,hyper-individual view on the matter and that many people willdisagree, but, alas, I was the one to answer your question on thisblog today. These are methods by which I have risen again afteradversities of the heart. For we rise again always, Anon. We mustsometimes help ourselves to do it, occupy our hands and muscles andthoughts with something other than our perceived failures, dosomething with ourselves for ourselves rather than for others, wantto be better for ourselves rather than for a partner. In theend, there are few people we can rely on in life apart from thatperson we see in the mirror staring back at us every day.

To finish this (and spare you any more of myphilosophy of life), you will get through this, Anon. It might seemlike a dead end right now, it might seem like you will never leavethis spot of stagnation, but you will. You must want it, as well, ifjust a little bit; be courageous and shed this shell. Breathe. Letyourself be alone for a little while, let it sink in that it did notwork—and that you are not obliged to make anything with anyone elsework at the moment. Focus on you. Find what brings you pleasure anddo not insult your own intelligence and spirit by thinking only shegives you pleasure in life; it isn’t true, not for you, not foranyone. We are made for more than to serve as partners to others,adorable as they might prove to be. If you are currently unable toopen yourself up, then don’t. Don’t go looking for women you’re notyet ready nor willing to bring into your life. Take what you have atthe moment and make the best of it for the time being.

The pressure to find a new girlfriend might even dieout. And that’s a good thing, because we tend to find the mostfantastic and remarkable partners precisely when we aren’tlooking—when we’re ready to live a life with them ratherthan for them, if you know what I mean!

Be patient with yourself and listen to yourself. Bekind. Be to yourself what you’d like others to be. You’ll do just fine.

/Mod T

#Anonymous #break ups #heartbreak #moving on #answered asks #mod t

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cannyouuhearmenoww · 5 years

Text

I Will Choose You Every Day

Making choices has never been my strong suit

Past events, friends, fights, attitudes, grades, weight can all testify to that

The problem is I'm always making choices for someone else

I'm always considering how what I do will effect those around me

And often I'm striving to please the wrong people

In recent years I've been better at looking out for me and my health, mentally and physically

When making changes one of two things can happen, either you fall right back into old habits or you tip the scale too far in the other direction

I fell back into the habit of being with someone who I needed to take care of

Then when I decided to let go and move on I jumped off the deep end of the other extreme

I became selfish

And I'm sorry you had to meet me that way

But loving you has brought me back to balance

For the first time I'm in love and being loved back by someone who can take care of themselves

As much as we joke and kid you could never get by without me, in reality we both know you'd thrive no matter what

And it's the most liberating feeling in the world to know you'd be fine without me but you still choose to be with me

I don't feel guilty for taking care of myself anymore because you support me unconditionally and you're not afraid to tell me if I've gone too far

You've shown me more patience than anyone else in your life and that's how I know loving me is not a fleeting romance for you

It's something real that you choose to work at every day

If I could go back and change the things I've said and done out of selfishness I would

I wouldn't have made you hear about him, I would've trashed all those pictures, I would have told my friends about you, I would have declared my love for you proudly, I would have heard you out instead of saying no just to say no

I would've never made you doubt this was as real for me as it is for you

I can't change the past but I can tell you the truth

The truth I thought would make me vulnerable, needy, and pathetic

The truth you've never been afraid to share with me

I'm choosing to share it with you now

Bryan, I started falling in love with you from our first encounter

(Well actually even before that)

From the minute I saw you enter orientation I thought you were so handsome

You had a smile that lit up the whole room

And a laugh that was absolutely intoxicating to hear

I don't know if you even realize it, but you have a magnetism about you that draws people in with your charm and charisma and I felt it right away

You were the first non administrator to greet me in the lunchroom

You came right up without any hesitation

Knowing you as well as I know you now I know you'll laugh when I tell you how nervous you made me

I tried to keep a cool and calm composer but I'm sure my blushed face and shaky words were a dead give away

I wanted to take your invitation, I really did, but I couldn't get up the courage to

I was so scared I'd go with you and I'd make a bad first impression on you and everyone else because I was so shy and nervous

So I went with the safe bet and stuck with the people who were just as scared and nervous as I was

It was the cowardly thing to do and I beat myself up over it for weeks after that

But you gave me hope I hadn't completely messed up because in the computer lab you included me in conversation and even offered a tour for the new people

I admired (and envied) your confidence and for the first time in that new and scary place I felt safe and it was with you

Our following encounters were meaningless in the most meaningful ways

You would help out in our class to do puzzles, projects, and games and bring excitement to otherwise monotonous days

I found myself eagerly looking towards the door at the sound of the handle turning hoping it would be you

And feeling disappointment in the pit of my stomach when I didn't see your face

Based on our personalities it is no surprise you were the first one to suggest activities that involved spending more time together like going to pick up lunch

When you asked if I'd be interested in dressing up together for Halloween you made me feel like somebody for the first time in a while

I felt special, you had friends who wanted you to dress up with them and of all those people you wanted to do something with me

A girl you barely knew (who often gave you a lot of attitude because she didn't know how to flirt with you to save her life)

For the first time since I had started that job 2 months earlier I was excited on my way in that morning

I knew it was going to be a fun day, and not because of any activities, but because I knew I had a reason to spend more time with you

I had no idea how hard that day was going to be for you

I knew you received failing test results the night before but it was not until later on that I would find out the magnitude of what that truly meant to you

I was impressed by how you kept a brave face on through everyone asking and offering condolences and suggesting you'd have better luck next time

I remember wanting to say more about it but knowing it wasn't my place

When you asked me to go out with you after work I don't think I could have said yes fast enough

Which was surprising to me because normally the thought of going out alone with someone I barely knew would leave me riddled with anxiety

But instead I found myself smiling at the thought of having all of your attention on me

Sitting there at the bar with you I knew that was it for me

The conversation flowed so naturally, my face hurt from laughing and smiling so much

Everything about it felt natural; confiding in you, sitting close to you, letting time pass with you

On the night after your birthday, a night that was supposed to be celebrating you, you chose to take me out for drinks and then to the haunted house I wanted to go to so bad

When we arrived I was admittedly more scared than I thought I would be but being with you kept me calm

I trusted you so much even as acquaintances

Here I was at a haunted house, with a guy I barely knew (but was very interested in), dreading going home to a boyfriend who loved me but even at our best never made me feel this alive

The chemistry I felt when I grabbed your arm was undeniable, I didn't want to let go but I knew I had to

I hated saying goodbye to you that night

I hated the uncertainty of what that night meant to you

I was left pleasantly surprised when you messaged me on Instagram that night (we still hadn't even exchanged numbers yet)

I remember my face lighting up when I get your message and being so excited to tell my family about the time I had spent with you

And they called it right away, they could tell my heart was beating for you a mile a minute, and they feared what my next choice would be

Just 2 nights later we went out again, this time you wanted to introduce me to your best friend

As a girl, meeting a guy's female best friend, is probably one of the most nerve racking experiences because girls can be brutal

But once again you proved I was safe with you and you never left my side the whole evening

We were at a table with a group of other people in an overcrowded bar and yet somehow it felt like we were the only 2 people in the world

From there came the nonstop messages, the never ending conversation

I would struggle to stay awake at night to talk to you and wake up excited to see what message I would have waiting for me in the morning

I was absolutely addicted to conversing with you, we could talk about anything

TV, movies, music, friends, family, school, philosophies, anything

You were my best friend

Weekends became the hardest part, during the week work was an excuse to see you and get together after but I wanted reasons for to see you more

I remember buying our Silverstein convert tickets and counting down days on my calendar to Brittany's engagement party

I remember it became harder with every passing day to keep lying to the people in my life about you

I chose to keep you a secret, I chose to try to continue my life's status quo and in doing that I chose to hurt you

I was selfish, I didn't want anything to ruin what we already had going and I didn't want to fully commit to what we were so clearly becoming

My poor choices caught up to me the first day I went to your house

On the drive to your house (from North Plainfield) I remember thinking about how much I had missed you over the past couple days and how much I would miss you for the week you'd be away

Now at this point I knew I liked you, and I wanted you, but I had no idea I was going to leave that night in love with you

You greeted me at the door with my favorite wine, you showed me to your room and put on your favorite movie

You told me why it was your favorite and I let your every word pull me closer and closer to you until we were merely inches away

You ordered us food, we did our normal amount of bantering and laughing and I knew I could do this with you every day for the rest of my life

You took me out for dessert and showed me all the places in Montclair you'd like to take me one day

We saa at the bar with question cards in hand, making light of the cheesy blind date game on the counter

As questions passed our answers became more involved and you said something I'll never forget

We were talking about why you went into physical therapy, you told me stories of how you've seen physical therapy change people's lives

You said "all I want to do is make a difference, I want to help people in any way I can, so I chose a career that would allow me to help people physically and mentally"

Those words stood out to me because that's all I had ever wanted since I got into psychology and nutrition and fitness

I wanted to help people feel as good as they can, and if I can have a positive influence on even one person in my life I will have succeeded in that goal

Having the same hopes, goals, values, and dreams as someone is rare

I knew you were something special, you could never be just a friend

When we got back to your house I could have chosen to go home

You could have chosen to ask me to leave

But instead to invited me in and I said yes

We repositioned ourselves on your bed but this time I couldn't bear to waste anymore time away from you

I took a chance you felt the same way and would be okay with my resting my head on your shoulder

I felt discouraged when you didn't immediately wrap me up in your arms, but I knew you were being respectful of my situation

Eventually I wore you down and for the first time we laid together, body to body, breathing in unison

You were excited to tell me about your favorite show and I was excited to see you so happy

It took almost 2 hours but you finally got up the courage to tilt my chin up towards you and bring our lips together

I felt catatonic shock, like there was an electric charge running through my veins

I felt all the hair on my body stand up and tensed up muscles begin to melt and relax

I wanted to keep going but I chose to stop because that moment validated everything I felt towards you was real

I drove home that night with my head spinning determined to use your time away to as a chance to clear my head

All my thoughts revolved around you, and even after our conversation about how you felt towards me, I once again made the cowardly decision to put off making a choice between you and him

I started cluing in my friends and family about what had happened and they were not happy with me

I had once again made a choice that disappointed everyone so I decided in that moment to be selfish

I kept doing what I was doing because it was making me happy without considering what I was doing to you

When you got back I knew things were different between us

You took me to dinner and museum in the city, by an standards a romantic date, and I was cold and distant

I felt guilty over my difficulty to make a choice

But you never faultered, you stayed positive, and continued to work to win me over

Then came the engagement party, an event I had so been looking forward to since you had invited me

I got my hair done the way you suggested and agonized over what to wear to impress you

As the alcohol continued to flow we got more and more comfortable putting our hands on one another and I was overly excited to go home with you

You held my hand for the first time in the car and once we got in bed you grabbed my face, with more force than before

You kissed me without stopping

I kissed you back and in that moment I had never wanted someone so bad in my life

But even with my head clouded with desire the little voice of guilt returned and I knew I couldn't go through with it, not like this

I made the choice to say no and I knew that made you feel unwanted and I'm sorry

I knew I would not be able to say no forever, not even for a week

The following week you planned a special date for us, because once again you were not ready to give up on me

You took me to medeveal times, another place I wanted to go, and showed me a real date could be like with someone you click with

I knew that would be our night

I knew this time if you made a move I wouldn't say no

I knew you'd make a move

I felt the same electric charge of desire and excitement as the first time we kissed

With you body pressed against mine I knew you had been lusting over the thought of this encounter

You made me feel pleasure I had never felt before and with our bodies together as one for the first time I fell deeper in love with you

I didn't want that night to end, I didn't want to return to my reality of still having to choose

My choice was clear but I was still so scared to take the jump with you

I knew as time passed I had to act soon or I'd lose you forever

With that thought in my head I officially chose you the day I said goodbye to him

I said I wanted time to myself but that was a lie, I wanted you, but I didn't want you to doubt my feelings

I didn't want to scare you away with the notion that you were only a rebound

I wanted you, I chose you, I was committed to making it work with you

I think we were both in a state of euphoria when we were finally free to be together

I spent every night with you over winter break

But reality hit us as hard as my back hit the mountain on our snowboarding trip

I couldn't put a label on us because I was scared of what people would think and I was choosing to please them over you

I was still talking to you as only a friend when you deserved my respect as a partner

I made a lot of my mistakes that first month that I wish I could take back

Happiness was finally back in our lives when we chose our special day and that high carried us to Valentine's day

I took you for granted that day and I'm sorry

Even though we smiled through most of the evening I'll never forget the fight that ensued upon arriving home

For the first time I was scared of really losing and there was nothing I could say because all your complaints were true

I wasn't treating how I'd treated others and you deserved better because you were the best thing that had ever happened to me

I promised to be better but the lingering resentment only led to more fights

There was one week in March I was convinced that would be it

You were upset with how I ignored your friends in the halls, shared secrets that were meant to stay between us and made you question if I was truly in this with you

I was being selfish

That was a rock bottom for me

I knew I had to change

I knew everything you were telling me was for my own good, not for selfish motives

I know I'm not perfect now but I hope you see how far I've been trying to come for you

I hope you know I'm here for better and for worse

I hope you know any future involving you would make you happy

I'm done being selfish

I'm choosing you always

I know making these choices was what was best for us because this time spent with you since then has been the happiest of my life and I mean that sincerely

And all I could think of at the wedding cerey the other night was the vows I would write to you

I would vow to support you no matter what, with work, with your test, with you furthering your coaching and education, I'd be here for it

I would vow to always be loyal to you above everyone else because you are the most important person in my life

I would vow to be honest with you, no matter how hard that may be or how scared I may be to do so

I would vow to always be the best person I can be because you deserve no less, and even if I suck at taking criticism I'd do my best to hear you out always

I would vow to respect you always, I would give you space when you ask for it and always speak to you as my equal and never question your feelings

I would vow to love you, whether it be through words or actions

Most importantly I would vow to choose you, to wake up every day and never be afraid to let the world know that I am yours and you are mine because you have given me the courage I have always lacked

And even though marriage is a long way away, I vow these to you now

I love you more than anything Bryan

I choose you as I always have and I always will ❤️

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paganchristian · 3 years

Photo

A black swan we saw, at the zoo, and in the top picture, a white one too, and other ducks or birds of some kind, two of which seem to be doing some sort of mating dance or maybe competing and fighting, I don’t know, I wonder what they’re doing. Black swans I knew I had heard were some kind of symbol. Apparently a rare and unpredictable event that changes the course of history or society, or something, but it is rationalized away, after the fact, as being something ordinary and predictable after all.

It makes me think that many things could be rare events that would change our own lives, but we just kind of explain them away instead and they lose the power to do that anymore, because we forget them or don’t give them enough focus and the proper value and effort they deserve. Then they don’t change our lives and I guess they wouldn’t be a black swan as the symbol goes, since a black swan event actually does change you. And maybe it is not even a rare event but just a typically overlooked, underestimated event that is common.

But maybe it could be, and the event of what changes and what happens is what is rare, maybe,... if not the actual trigger for the change... Just like genius taps into things that are ordinary and makes them extraordinary and changes the world... So I think the power of God and of the ideas of religion can be that way too, sometimes, but we tend to overlook them. There is a whole huge set of behaviors, ideas and practices, pressures, approaches, conformity, punishment, and many contradicting messages, that all try to trick us and pressure us and make us make use of this rare thing, instead of letting it pass us by again, maybe ...

But why do they contradict themselves? To see which approach we will latch onto. To use any approach to cast the widest net and catch the most followers. To let us grow and change and choose which of the contradicting messages we need at the time. Sometimes we even need a false problem or false enemy because we can’t emotionally process the truth of our own guilt and the terrible wrongness of ourselves, or others, our lives, our feelings of hopelessness. Instead of facing it, we mentally shut down, deny, and project on a convenient scapegoat.

Anyway, with the little events in our own lives that could change us... if the conditions were right, and/or if we knew how to respond and use them the right way, then maybe these little events in our lives could force us or shake us up and make us change. Maybe then still we would just go on, business as usual, explaining it away again, as normal, predictable, letting things settle back into assumptions and habits and letting the full power of it lie unused, even if it did transform our lives.

And when I thought of this all it seemed the perfect symbol for how it feels to me that the religious things that are helping me are so mysterious and so good and powerful but it feels like it is often cloaked in a lot of trickery, distortion, wrong views, contradicting itself, excluding and condemning certain people if they do this or that, putting people into conceptual boxes and not listening to them anymore, but seeing them only as the box furthermore. Doing the same for ourselves. Faking it for others, being all about image and outer performance, drilling ourselves with ideas and inundating social pressure on us. And despite it all why is there so much good still? The black swan seems to tell me, it’s more than meets the eye.

There is also a Tori Amos song called ‘Black Swan’. And when I think of swans I think of The Ugly Duckling fairytale by Hans Christian Andersen. I looked at the lyrics of the Tori Amos song. Anyway, all these things are shifting things around, along with these pictures and the details in them, and the black swan symbol,... and it’s making me think of things. Things about religion, again, and about how we need something to make the most of things, that we tend to ignore or not even intentionally that we ignore them, but just fail to remember or ever even recognize their worth.

And so instead we need to have white swans and ducks, the more expected, average birds, or things, in our lives and our religions, philosophies, ideologies,... We resist and we deny the black swan. The idea of this black swan symbolism makes me think of the things of spirit and synchronicity and visions and such that are oftentimes denied and seen as crazy or wishful thinking, silly, boring, weird, and basically at the end of the day, just insignificant, if not completely unreal... It’s “just” a coincidence, so what does it matter. But my whole life has been totally transformed by visions and coincidences and spirit messages, which most would just wave away as unreal and silly and unimportant.

It seems with more mainstream religions and philosophy, or really, with anything that challenges us to change and have faith in ways that are deeply transformative and require a lot of effort and self-denial and hope against hope, maybe, we often seem to need to anchor things in the ordinary, enough, to make the black swan sort of things seem more explicable and relatable. We are too busy doing our normal things, like the ducks and their dance or fight or whatever, in the picture. The swan is the ugly duck, like the fairytale, The Ugly Duckling. The black swan might be the outcast, perhaps, who knows.

Maybe it might seem too good to be true, and be overlooked or passed by because of that. Anyway, in real life, and fairytale conceptions of the black swan aside, though, I just love the black swans’ ruffly feathers.

It is rufflier than white swans I think.

Hmm,... But back to the topic, ... Maybe religion needs to be dumbed down way down low to fit the lowness of humanity. Not saying we’re dumb. Dumbing down just makes things stand out enough but blend in enough that we’ll pay any attention for long enough and really hold on to something and try to apply it, usually.

Because otherwise we go on with the predictable flow of Samsara, the Kleshas (afflictions or character failings), , the five aggregates of clinging to the heaps of dust that is life, ... The stumbling, helpless, overwhelmed, deluded, and lost, craving and avoiding, hiding, and distorting,... The otherwise inevitable (inevitable, if not for rare insights and the applications of insight)... the inevitable flow of the river of everyday existence, the Maya, the illusion and deceptiveness of this whole world,... to use Buddhist and Hindu terminology,... The confusion, the pain, the chaos, exhaustion, overwhelm, busy-ness, seeking to relieve it. If you believe in demons, them too, count them in all of this list of overwhelming, overpowering and blinding, misleading with visions of light and magic and wonder hiding a wolf in sheep’s clothing,... All this stagnating, immobilizing chaos, running to stand still (I loved that song, also once a big U2 fan, still like them, no longer a huge fan). Running, running, to get nowhere, driven by impulses like a we are riding a horse, unable to get off of it, knowing not where we are going, compelled at all times, though exhausted and miserable, compelled, unable to stop and instead we must forever follow its destructive, confused habits. Another symbol of Buddhism, but I don't’ remember all of the details.

Yes there is so much intelligence, but oh how it is so unused in many of the most important urgent ways it needs to be used. So much knowledge, unapplied. So much insight and intuition of what we need to do for our lives, but so much of it isn’t acted upon. There is so much high self-opinion, based on so much illusion. Even too so much low self-opinion also exaggerated and distorted to be worse than it is or even based on false ideas. So many false ideas, imagined enemies, imagined dangers, imagined problems, or exaggerated problems,... or misidentified problems, misunderstood people, misunderstanding ourselves. What power does something have unless it can shake us so far out of all this and be easy enough and emotional enough and average and relatable enough and simple to understand enough that it is so dumbed down.

Maybe it needs to be so dumbed down because that is the only way it will be easy enough to focus on, to remember, to act on, and perhaps, easy enough to believe in because even if it’s oversimplified sometimes a simple illusion sounds more believable than a complex reality. Reality is so complex we have a hard time understanding it and a hard time believing it even if we do understand. Even if we do understand and believe then we can have a hard time keeping it clear in our heads and remembering it and acting on it over time. And the euphoric sense of epiphany that will change our lives quickly fades away and becomes forgotten.

Otherwise it’s just another prop for our ego, another thing to understand, and then forget, thinking we have applied it or that we accomplished much by realizing it needs acting on and planning and trying and failing again,... as again and again it’s been forever on into so much never (what do I mean, I don’t know but that just came to my mind so just in case it doesn’t seem totally dumb and useless, I won’t delete it. And if it’s dumb and useless later, then it’s a useful humbling experience. haha). So yeah, we thought our realization was a big deal, what with all the soul searching or learning or experiencing that it took to attain it, but it’s the black swan, swimming by in our minds, ... Swimming round and round even forever in our minds... but if we don't’ act on it it might as well not matter much. For some reason I had the image of the rubber ducks at the county fair that swim round and round the little river of water. Lol Ok... Hmm.. That cheers me up. That was a favorite thing ever when I was really little.. Hmm... But yeah, just like childhood frivolity, it all doesn’t really count for much even if we tried and meant so well and so much. It gives relief from the daily distress for a little while, that seems worth a lot and is if you have no better relief, and all actions are begun as dreams and ideas. But still, ...

But we just understood but failed to apply it like all the other goals and all these New Year’s Resolutions and so on.

But this dumbing down oftentimes inevitably bypasses certain problems and blames certain people in its rush to oversimplify. Some people cannot make it work and they have to find their way outside of the whole thing. The whole idea I had before that religions often seem to me like a puzzle with a few wrong instructions and some missing pieces, again. And that needs to be put together differently for different people to work in your own life and for your own needs. Another thing that needs hiding because it’s too complex and people want something simpler and more clear or they forget something more complex. So religion hides this fact for us to discover when we will be ready, later on, in our journey of faith.

Sometimes with the wrong and harmful ideas in religions, maybe you can make something work until you can’t any longer because it hurts you emotionally where you were callous and unaware or perhaps where you were just deluded and misinformed. Maybe like so many run to those who hurt them and are attracted to people who are like their abusive family of origin (unconsciously even), we might need and want what hurts us and ignore what is better and healthier. Like bad habits maybe we indulge because it’s easier and we’re too tired to deal with something harder.

Even after you improve as a person, become kinder and more aware and want to change, of course, physically you could do the same things that were harmful that you did before,... But your emotional self just can’t do it and you can’t do it, unless you warp your mind and emotions. All to that end, there are brainwashing tactics used sometimes to help you warp your mind and emotions and stay in line. Maybe brainwashing isn’t the right word, but it’s something rather similar at any rate, deluding oneself by repeatedly drilling certain ideas into your mind and social pressure, rewards and punishments, threats and terror, guilt and shame and conformity and rewards if you perform up to expectation, and on and on.

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seethedivide · 7 years

Note

Here's a bit of an off question I'd like to ask for something I'm working on. Why do you think that fans of the Beth. Fallout don't seem to understand the fans of the originals don't enjoy the plotholes and shallow narratives and lore consistencies. It almost feels like there's a huge disconnect between people who like Beth. FO and only play for the sandbox vs fans of the originals. it almost seems as if people are legitimately insulted when you point these things out. What's your take on this?

You actually made me think. I always stopped my line of argumentation after I hit the playing for the sandbox experience vs. playing to explore the world argument. But to be honest, this is going to be biased, and I am sure I will get a lot of hate for my answer.

Well, I guess there is adifference between “not understanding why people don’t enjoy plotholes andinconsistencies” and “not caring about plotholes and inconsistencies”. Because,honestly, the first one I can’t even justify, it just sounds like low INT stats.We’re not going to talk about this one. “Not caring about it” is different. Isuppose, people play games for different reasons. I play them because I likethis medium and enjoy exploring the world the creators came up with. I think ofit as if it were real, and, therefore, can’t get on board with a lot of stuffthat fans come up with for purely aesthetic reasons. However, not everybodyplays like that, some people just want a time-out, or they want just anaesthetically pleasing game so they can get creative and gif/edit/draw the hellout of it. There are people that don’t want to think when they play becausethey just want to relax. Granted, you can also relax by thinking too much aboutthe game, in that way you lose yourself in it and get a break from reality. Butthe point is, that some people need simple things without complex politicalsituations or philosophies in them, so they can just go shoot and kill and makethemselves happy. I think that this might be the ultimate reason? Maybe? Mostof the people I am following are Fallout New Vegas fans, because I could neverfind interest in Fallout 3 with its shallow world. Some fans manage to make itinteresting with their ocs and creative plots, but it’s the exception, not therule, in my experience.

So, maybe it ultimately boilsdown to what a person needs: to get a break and not think for a second, or tobecome swallowed up by the world, and explore it in its entirety. Again, thereare different reasons for choosing each path. I’m sure some really just don’tget FNV because they just don’t try, and that for some it’s too complicated.Things that are too complicated tend to bore us. Some may like Bethesda Fallouts because they don’t analyze them enough, whereas FNV makes you analyze things, you’d have a hard time playing it otherwise. It gives you a lot of sandbox opportunities, just like all the other Fallout games, but in Fallout 3′s case, for example, you can play around in this sandbox without thinking about any consequences, because the world doesn’t even seem real - but you can’t do that in Fallout New Vegas.

I mean, you guys can answerto this post and tell me your reasons, maybe we will know more afterwards.

I am going to regret posting this…

#ask

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tipsycad147 · 5 years

Text

6 Things That You Totally Don't Need To Be A Witch

Avery Hart

This week I’ve had a rash of people telling me how my witchcraft “should” be or how witchcraft “has to work” and to be quite honest with you, I’m about over it. I see this kind of policing everywhere, it seems like everyone has this idea that their way of practising the craft is the “right” way and everyone else should be converted to their way of thinking. You get people who are otherwise preaching a philosophy of oneness and being in tune with yourself and valuing nature and peace becoming utterly irate because someone else is doing something different. Am I the only one who sees the huge contradiction here?

What Witchcraft Really Is

Here’s the thing, witchcraft isn’t a set of rituals. It isn’t the worship of a particular god, it’s not a religion, it’s not even the methods we use to cast spells. Witchcraft transcends all of these things because, at its core, witchcraft is about doing what works. And if the massive diversity in magical tradition speaks to anything it’s that there are a LOT of ways to do magic that work!

What witchcraft really is, at its core, is the manipulation of the energy that makes up everything from the tiniest microbe, to massive sequoias, this wonderful planet that we live on, every star, every breath we take, and every god we may or may not pray to. Magic is literally everywhere, it’s inescapable because it IS us. It’s everything!

Why So Many Things Are Optional

This base nature of magic and our universe is exactly what makes so many things in magic optional. Since magic is everywhere and everything there are basically infinite ways to take advantage of it. And the vast majority of these methods work given the right circumstances!

Think of it this way, if magic could only be accessed in one way we would see the exact same magical structure repeated over and over and over again in every culture and in every point in history. That is not the case though! All you have to do is look at the amazing diversity present in our current magical culture. You have ceremonial magicians summoning demons and performing long and intricate rites while housewives practice folk magic involving nothing more than a whispered incantation and some spices from their cupboard. Both methods work. How can we claim that there’s only one way to practice magic when Hoodoo, Santeria, Stregheria, Feri, Wicca, Appalachian granny magic, Druidry and so many more traditions exist simultaneously and all seem to work? The answer is that we can’t. They DO all work because they are all taking advantage of the exact same universal forces in a myriad of ways.

So What Is Optional In The Craft?

There are so many more optional elements than I could possibly list here but these are some of the most common elements of the craft that I see being touted as non-negotiable.

1. Gendered Energy

The use of gendered energy (i.e. masculine and feminine energy) is an incredibly prevalent part of modern witchcraft and this is largely due to the widespread nature of Wicca. Wicca teaches this gender dichotomy as a core part of its practices and because of this, such methods have filtered down into the collective consciousness of neo-Wicca and nondenominational witchcraft as a result. The widespread nature of this concept does not make it mandatory, however. There are plenty of forms of witchcraft that do not teach or use any form of gendered magical energy, and some (like Feri) that actively teach that one should strive for the freedom of energy that comes from releasing oneself from such limiting concepts in magic.

If the idea of gendered energy makes you uncomfortable, if you find it difficult to work with, or if it simply doesn’t resonate with you, you don’t have to use it! You can simply omit that part of the craft without suffering any ill consequences. Your magic will still work, it won’t be any less powerful and in fact, by removing an element that didn’t resonate with you personally your magic might become even more effective!

2. Specific Tools

You can find a list of “beginners tools” in pretty much every book and website about witchcraft out there. Everyone seems to have an idea of what tools are must-haves for practising magic and often, these lists of tools don’t match up with each other! One source will tell you that you absolutely must have a wand while another doesn’t even mention wands but says that two knives rather than one are essential. Some sources use herbs, others essential oils, still others make no mention of such things. You’ll find everything from bells, to cubes, to mirrors, chalices, and candles on these lists. So what’s a witch supposed to think?! Which tools are really necessary?

The reality is, none of these tools are necessary. Sure, they all have uses and can help you in harnessing your inherent magical power but these tools don’t GIVE you magical power and you can certainly access that innate connection to your energy without them. The best thing to do is to only use the tools that speak to you and make you feel as though your magic is working. If you’re short on resources and can’t afford tools, makeshift tools, DIY altarpieces, or nothing at all can suffice as well. Magic can be done with nothing more than your will and intention, no tools, no words, and no outside trappings of any kinds if you so choose.

3. Divination

Divination methods like tarot, pendulum reading, and scrying are incredibly prevalent in modern witchcraft. They’re so prevalent, in fact, that many people feel as though without these elements they’re only practising half the craft! This simply isn’t the case though. Divination is a wonderful form of magic and can add a lot to your daily workings but your witchcraft is still witchcraft even if you don’t use it. Some people really hate divination. Some people don’t want to know the future. Some people just find that they’re not very good at divination. There’s nothing wrong with accepting that divination just isn’t your thing if you don’t feel that it’s beneficial to you!

I’m not very fond of math and you know what, despite the warnings of every grade school teacher, my life has suffered very little for my avoidance of math. I simply choose to focus my efforts on those things that I’m actually good at! In the few instances where I might need some math, there are always people in this world who have the skills that I do not. I can seek out people whose strengths compliment my weaknesses. You should take this same approach to witchcraft (and possibly the rest of your life too). You have developed a set of skills, talents, and strengths that are unique to you. Why would you go out of your way to average yourself by becoming mediocre at those things that you have no natural aptitude for when you can spend that same energy becoming truly great at those things that you’re naturally good at?

4. Spirit Work

In much the same way as divination, spirit work is everywhere and is often seen as a completely necessary part of witchcraft. One of the most common questions I get from beginners is about whether or not they have to work with spirits. Many of these beginner witches are considering giving up the craft entirely because spirits scare them and they’ve been led to believe that they won’t be able to practice the craft without spirit work! How terrible to think that someone might give up their own power simply because they’re afraid of something that they never have to deal with unless they want to.

It’s true that spirits are everywhere and that becoming a witch will get you in tune with your own capabilities to see and interact with these spirits. That doesn’t mean that you have to work with them though! If you feel unsafe around someone, you don’t force yourself to spend time with them simply because it’s expected of you. You do something about it! You get away from them, you choose not to live your life in their presence, you can even take out a restraining order if you need to. Spirit work is the same way. If you don’t like spirits, you can just avoid them! Put up wards to keep them away from you and your home, tell spirits that ask for your help that you’re not the right person to help, give stubborn spirits the boot with a solid banishing spell. If you don’t want to work with spirits then DON’T, there are plenty of people out there who will do the spirit work that you don’t want to do. let them deal with the spirits. Protect your space and your peace of mind if that’s what feels good for you.

5. Gods & Religion

Has anyone else here noticed how hard it is to find non-religious witchcraft? Because I have. The thing is, gods and religion are not mandatory in the craft. No matter how many spells you see invoking a deity or how many witchy sources you find that involve the horned god and triple goddess you do not have to work with any god that you don’t want to. That includes gods that show up and want to work with you. You have every right to say no to them and not work with them if you don’t want to. Personally, I’ve told Odin to get lost more times than I can count. Do I have something against Odin? No, not necessarily, I just don’t think that working with him will further the path that I’ve chosen for myself. I respect him, but I don’t want him all up in my life and my witchcraft. You have every right to do the same, pick and choose those beings that you allow into your life carefully. Remember, witchcraft is about claiming your power. Do not give your power of choice up just because the being contacting you is a god.

You also do not have to believe in gods at all. If you find yourself in the atheist or agnostic crowd, you’re still a totally valid witch. Your power is still real, your magic still works. Don’t let overzealous people force their beliefs on you or make you feel that your personal path is wrong. There are many paths that lead to many places in this life and no two people will walk the same path. We are all here to learn and experience something different, it’s only natural that we will each need to choose our own path to fulfil that.

6. Being a nature-y person

I know, I know. We should all care about the planet and love mother nature and blah blah blah. And that’s all great but you know what, even if someone DOES care about not harming the planet, that doesn’t mean they’re going to be outdoorsy, tree hugging, garden planting kinds of people. Or even if they ARE into being outdoorsy, that doesn’t mean they’re actually going to be able to. Real talk: I have a pretty serious intolerance to the sun. Like… I can’t go out for more than 10 minutes without the beginnings of a sunburn creeping up on me. And I live in Texas, the sun here is decidedly intense. As much as I love camping and hiking and just generally being outside, I can’t do a lot of that stuff most of the time without risking some major pain and suffering (not to mention skin cancer). Nine months out of the year, I can’t go out walking in nature, I can’t work in a garden, and I can’t sit and meditate under a tree to get my witchy juices flowing. That doesn’t make me any less of a witch.

Plenty of people have limitations that prevent them from being able to go outside a lot. Sun sensitivity, physical disability, anxiety, introversion, and just plain old not wanting to can keep people inside year round and you know what, that’s fine. A witch who never works a single spell or ritual outdoors is still a witch.

If you only take one thing away from this post, let it be this: Stop worrying about whether or not you’re doing witchcraft “right” by other people standards. The only yardstick you should measure your craft by is whether or not what you’re doing works. Do what works. Forget about the rest.

https://thetravelingwitch.com/blog/2018/5/1/6-things-that-you-totally-dont-need-to-be-a-witch

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fe14fiction-blog · 7 years

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hi, mod lilith! :D do you think you could make a post listing the matchup requests you've gotten and will do? just so we know if you've received ours! it can be a hassle though, so please don't feel pressured to >

hi! could i have a matchup? im a gay boy and id like an awakening match please c: im very kind and i like being and caregiver to people. im really shy though, and it kind take time for me to open up. when i do open up however, im very loud and carefree and i like cracking jokes and messing around. i love singing and i have an interest in rapping and song writing, but im also an artist. i work very hard and i can get very serious and competitive. im also really sensitive and i cry alot and easily

I'm 19, male, and straight. INFP and Sagittarius. On the bigger and taller side too. I'm mostly interested in gaming and anime, but I also read quite a number of books. I enjoy debating philosophy and religion, but to be frank, I'll debate anything that I can debate. Personality-wise, I have two outward expressions: stoic and emotionless, and smug half grin. I'm usually pretty antisocial, but I like the company of like-minded people. Basically, those I can battle my wits against, and vice versa. A bit follow up, as I ran out of room. I'd prefer a character from Fates, please. And don't let my profile picture make you feel biased towards Soleil. I just like the picture itself. I wish you luck with these, and I thank you for offering to do them! Keep posting all the great content! Good night for now!

Hi!! Could I get a matchup please, if the mini event is still happening? I was thinking Awakening characters, and I prefer guys. I am an Aquarius and infp; I like people who are very protective, and usually calmer/level headed. I enjoy people who make me feel significant and treat me fairly, and with plenty of attention. Thank you!

Could I have a match for Fates, specifically Conquest; preferably a male character? I'm a shy person around people I don't know; yet I don't show it too much as I feel I need to force myself to be out there to make others feel comfortable. I have a short temper and am a very sarcastic person by nature. I take things seriously if needed but tend to like to be the one cracking jokes to ease serious tension. I get nervous often in public situations etc. I enjoy reading and writing, I'm an Aries!

Could I get awakening male match up? I'm a girl, pretty chill. I'm not the most outwardly social but I like talking to people more one on one and having kind of long conversations to really get to know someone. I do have depression though, and sometimes get days where it's bad, so basically just anyone caring and sweet is what I'd look for, but I'm okay with whatever. Thank you!!!!!!!!!

May I have an Awakening matchup? I'm a female looking for a male. Logically minded, but creative. I like cooking and playing video games and I spend a lot of time taking care of my siblings to help my parents out. Also ridden with anxiety and ADHD, but I work through that by working out (I'm in the gym three times a week). Total cat lady. Happiest when I'm alone, but I dearly love my small circle of friends. Also, if it helps, I'm an INTP and Aquarius. Thank you!

For Match-Up; From the Awakening men, please! As for the person to be matched, he is kind and gentle with a soft, warm smile. Patience and optimism are his strongest points being he is never known to lose heart or give up. He does tend to lose track of his own health due to his diligence in his duties though. His mind is sharp however, and often used to devise new and clever approaches to things. He is also a Mage. ISFP-type personality, falling under the Lawful Good morality.

Sorry if I'm sending this through via the wrong method! I'd like to give your match-ups a try (if that's okay) Game: Fates (I don't care which path) MBTI: INTJ (more turbulent) Astrological Sign: Cancer What I like personality wise: • Someone that I can discuss intellectual (especially history-related things) with • Able to comfort/chill someone out • More "mature" (stoic is even okay) • Determined in one way or another • Doesn't mind cats • Does well with a busy partner • Is a guy Thanks! 😸Oh geez, it didn't occur to me that you wanted more info on us as opposed to what we like in relationships. Terribly sorry! It's probably too late, but here's some info on myself (I submitted my request prior to the deadline, but if it was too little info. too late, I totally understand) I'm quite the worry wart use ten words when two would do honestly. I'm a major "dilettante", I dabble in many things but have mastered none. I don't handle extreme emotions all that well. Sorry, and thanks!

I'd like a match up for an awakening character please. No second gens though and preferably a guy. I'm a girl who likes art, reading, and crafting. I have an INFP personality type and I'm a Leo. I tend to keep to myself mostly so someone else would have to initiate conversation. I love animals but I hate bugs. My favorite genre to read is adventure because I find my real life about as interesting as a stale corn chip. True to my zodiac sign my pride is everything to me.

id like an Awakening matchup! Second gen is fine! im 5'8, pan, virgo, INFJ girl with long af brown hair and freckles around my nose and cheeks. im reserved when you first talk to me and its hard for me to really trust people sometimes even if im already close with them. i also make self deprecating jokes to cope w not liking myself a whole lot. im pretty spacey too and i have a hard time remembering stuff. i draw a lot digitally and traditionally and i write sometimes too. thanks in advance!

Hi~ I'd like to request a matchup please! Game: Conquest (all the guys I want to marry are in Nohr oops). Please skip the 2nd gen. Personality: Pisces, INFP, Gryffindor. Easygoing, affable, humourous, thoughtful, observent, affectionate, ambivert, shy but doing my best to put myself out there, introspective, openminded, I've been told I come across as mysterious and intense by people I don't know well. Preference: open/fair minded, loves to learn and travel, even a little romantic/affectionate.

fates matchup please? 😁 i'm a straight entj girl. i'm an outgoing person and take up a lot of leadership roles, e.g. i’m stuco president. i'm a little shy around people at first but i open up quickly. people say that i'm funny and smart, although i am a little mean and a perfectionist... i'm also actually wildly insecure lmao... i also love reading and writing. i don’t enjoy sports but i like volleyball! going out is fun but i can't be around people for too long and like alone time. thank you!

May I please have match up for a male Fates character! Thank you! You're a doll for doin this! I'm generally a calm, if a bit moody kind of girl who adores cute things and nature! I always aim to please and I act sweet and innocent when really I'm only pretending so that people will like me. In reality I'm much more down to Earth and lonely and can care way to deeply about keeping up appearances when all I really want is for someone to look past my façade.

Can I get an Awakening Match-up please? Female, 5'9", strawberry blonde hair and grey eyes, INTP. Looking for a guy who's more of a sweetheart and would never raise his voice to me, long hair is preferred. I need someone who will be strong for me when I can't, and enjoys being showered with affection in return. I enjoy reading, drawing, and cooking. Please no second gen characters. Thanks a bunch!

Please could I ask a match with somebody from awakening. I do not mind which gender you choose. I'm a happy, bit cheeky, kind and caring person, it takes awhile for me to get angry and I will show sympathy to people who needs it. I like other people showing kindness to others and being friendly. I am a Taraus and I own Awakening, Birthright and Revelation

I'm a Taurus whom has a love for food, music, and poetry, tries to keep things orderly in his life for the most part, and yet also loves to flatter those whom I love with compliments and gifts. No gender preference, Fates character.

fates matchup? male please!! i'm an infp gemini,, i'm p outgoing and try to make friends w everyone (which can also be a bad thing bc rejection is the Worst) but i love making people laugh most of all!! i play sports solely for the team aspect (soccer n softball) so i'm also p athletic. but i also do love to write and am v easy-going!! thank u v much for doing these!

Matchup for Fates! I'm an ace girl with romantic interest in everyone, 21 and only 5'3" and I'm kinda shy due to being Autistic. I love horses and archery though, with more interest in writing and drawing. I'm a Cancer, and my favorite time of day os the mid afternoon. I used to be a sport swimmer and diver, but now I enjoy the pool for fun. I can be a little overprotective of those I care for when new people come around as well!

fates/conquest, preference male (anyone BUT Leo, Xander & Laslow), cancer & INFJ Tiny, quiet girl. Doesn't like war or fighting and just wants to make her friends and everyone around her happy. Enjoys music and can play almost every string instrument (except the viola) including the piano. She's very timid yet enjoys talking, especially about different lands and myths. She's kind of sick though and has medical issues that affect her ability to go out a lot. Has no preference for males.

Match-up please! I'm a male who enjoys creative writing, animals, baking, fashion, and nature. I'm playful and tend to tease those who I'm close to. I'm pretty nerdy and I'm scared pretty easily. I also love terrible puns. I'm a Gemini, and I'd prefer a female from Fates! Children are fine, too!

Hi I'm hoping the matchup are still open, thank you for this!! I'd like someone from awakening and preferably one of the dudes pls :) I'm an istp, gryffindor and a Scorpio, I've been told I'm a bit intimidating as well as bold and a bit blunt, but also funny. I prefer to hang out with people who are honest and have integrity, people who start shit for no reason piss me off to no end. It doesn't matter if I don't share similar interests with people so long as we get along and have a good time c: No Kid Characters

For matchup I'd prefer Fates Second Gen characters except for anyone younger than Kiragi, I have no preference for Gender or Personality. As for my personality I'm a very lazy hermit who likes literature and I have a good memory. I can be shy and my mood changes a lot between pessimistic and optimistic. I'm also someone who likes to try new things a lot as long as it doesn't require much of physical activities. I also get lost a lot in my thoughts.

Matchup if still open! I'm five foot 3 and INTP in personality. i don't mind either BR or CQ guys. I'm somewhat distant at first glance. I'm kinda moody and irrational, but try to hide that with jokes and silliness. I'm a pessimist at heart. Very picky about things too, whether it be food, clothes, friends, etc..

Can I have an Awakening matchup? I'm a bisexual ESTJ 5'1 1/2" Pisces girl with too many things to say. I've been told my best traits were my charisma, imagination, consideration, and articulation but that I was stubborn and feisty and I can't be intimidating due to my height. I love engineering, history, and hands-on projects and people say I can never stop smiling. To my s/o I can offer comfort, humor, and perspective. They'd just have to deal with my strange sense of humor, unorthodox way to do things, and when I'm mad, a sharp tongue. But after any fights if I'm not blinded by my own stubbornness, I'll be the one to give in and ask for forgiveness. In the relationship I need someone as willing to hold it up and be a part of it as I am.

#match up event #y'all so lucky I copied them to a doc as I got them to keep them sorted for myself #Anonymous

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