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gothamundernightlight · 2 days

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Incorrect Batfam Quotes

*Harley trying to cheer up Robin

Harley: Don’t worry, you’re going to be fine.

Harley: You come from a strong line of lunatics!

Damian: *thinking of his family history, from both sides

Damian: That is actually quite reassuring???

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canthandlethishit · 1 day

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what if tim and jason relationship isn’t like ‘you hurt me but it was the pit rage and youre sorry now so we good’ but tim absolutely retaliate by making jason’s life hell and it turns into a full out prank-war and they become friends again from that

like Jason fully meant to hurt tim in the titan tower and tim going ‘pffft you robin on steroids’ ‘omg Jason finally some age-appropriate clothing and real pants’ ‘bro you gotta lay-off the cows with all that leather’ <- tim has the pass to make these jokes because *points at titan incident* he makes damn sure he uses the pass with grace and excellent execution

like i want Jason to slowly go like ‘im sorry for legit trying to murder you’ and his reasoning being because i legit meant it and that was horrible and the pit influence was real but it only served to amplify all the other fucked up stuff and not the root of all his actions

and tim accepting the apology on his terms like ‘its chill bro ig i understand where it came from and it was fucked up asf but hey i got to vocalize all this morbid too soon jokes i would’ve never got to so’

like a more gradual jason - tim relationship being built up, and tim being a lot kore of a little shit and jason is like damn you earned your robin place in the snark-roasting department alone

also when damian comes in the picture and after the whole time stream thing jason and tim can make fun/ one up each other form their being replaced reactions

‘you literally dressed up in traffic light colors with shorts and beat up a minor’

‘you literally joined an assassin organization, became an international criminal and lost a spleen’

‘that’s rich coming from you, red hood, the CRIMELORD’

#theyre each other fav robins your honor #dick: :(#<- sorry my man but maybe you can be jason’s 1.5 favorite robin #robin #jason todd #tim drake #batfam #batfam prompt #idk this all might be real ooc but i just want crack and dumb fuckery bonding #robin!jason #robin!tim #damian #red robin #red hood #the red hood #batfam writing prompt #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batkids #incorrect batfam quotes

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batfamhyperfixation · 16 hours

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After a gala

Dick, flopping onto the couch: man I feel cookie dough right now

Duke: ooo me too I want cookie dough

Bruce: no dick is talking about his feelings

Bruce: he expresses his feelings in ice cream flavors

Duke: in ice cream flavors?

Dick: when I was younger Bruce and I were both really bad at expressing emotions so we started using ice cream flavors to explain

Bruce: like mint chocolate chip on my shoulder

Dick: or I have been on a rocky road lately

Bruce: or I’ve been feeling kinda vanilla lately means a depressive spout

Dick: or double chocolate extreme means I’ve been a kinda manic lately

Duke: so what does cookie dough mean?

Dick: I’m exhausted from having to put on a sugary sweet persona for a bunch of rich people

Duke: fair enough but I still want cookie dough

Dick: if you swear never to tell anyone else I will show you my secret stash

Duke: I pinky swear

#dick grayson #bruce wayne #duke thomas #dick and bruce are both bad at feelings #but they can verbalize ice cream so you gotta adapt and make due with what you have #incorrect batfam quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes

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collectivefandomstuff · 3 months

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[on patrol]

Red Robin: [sitting on a rooftop, drinking hot cocoa]

Red Hood: [lands next to him and sits down, pulling out a sandwich]

Red Robin: [holds out a thermos] want some cocoa?

Red Hood: [takes the thermos] yeah, thanks. [offers his sandwich] Want a bite? I baked the bread

Red Robin: hell yes

Red Hood: quiet night tonight

Red Robin: [humms in agreement]

Red Robin and Red Hood: [watches the skyline in silence]

[Nightwing, covered in a slimy substance, flies past them through the air as though he’s been catapulted from a great distance]

Red Hood:

Red Robin:

Red Hood: do you think he saw us?

Red Robin: I don’t think so

Red Hood:

Red Robin:

Red Hood: we can’t all be fighting Ivy, there wouldn’t be anyone left to fight the other criminals

Red Robin: that’s a sound argument. Say while we were helping him someone robbed the mayor, then where would we be?

Red Hood: he definitely came from over by the library, that’s way outside both our routes

Red Robin: so we agree that we wouldn’t be doing our job if we left our post to help with whatever that goop was

Red Hood: definitely

Red Robin: the mayor will thank us

Red Hood:

Red Robin: [sips his cocoa]

Red Hood: cards on the table- I already robbed the mayor earlier tonight

#red robin #red hood #nightwing #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #dc #chat #humor

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arguablysomaya · 4 months

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failed step one

#batfam #dc universe #dcu #batman #batfamily #jason todd #batfam memes #DC comics #dc #DC Universe #incorrect dcu #incorrect batfam quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batkids #1k #5k

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vixfern · 2 months

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Dick: Ugh I really don’t want to go into work

Tim: What the fuck do you mean?? Work?? It’s daytime?? You’re gonna go out in the day to do vigilante stuff??

Dick:??? No?? My fucking job? Being a police officer??

Tim: THE FUCK??? SINCE WHEN HAS THIS BEEN A THING??

Dick: A WHILE???

#batman #dc #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #dcu #incorrect quotes #dick grayson #nightwing #tim drake #red robin #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes

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bruciemilf · 1 year

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Bruce is painfully Mom coded in a very specific aspect

Bruce: It's a dangerous mission, you're not going. End of discussion.

The bat kids: Or what.

Bruce:

Bruce: ... What?

The Bat Kids: ...Um.

Damian, literally inventing 10 prayers on the spot for them bc he's the youngest and doesn't get in trouble:

#bruce wayne #batdad #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #bruce simply smiles and gets quiet when hes angry and it literally makes ppl cry #text

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galaxymagitech · 3 months

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Tim: I’m fine.

Jason: Lol, no you’re not. But lucky for you, I don’t care. Wanna go fight assassins?

—

Jason: I’m fine.

Dick: Okay, I thought you were fine, but now I’m worried.

—

Damian: I’m fine.

Tim: Is no one going to mention the fact that he’s bleeding from a head wound?

Tim: *receives a matching head wound from the stabby child*

Tim: I’m fine.

—

Dick: I’m fine.

Bruce: Going by historical precedent, I have the feeling I should’ve called Leslie an hour ago.

—

Bruce: I’m fine.

Alfred: Perhaps I should invest in a dictionary. It seems that this entire family lacks an understanding of basic English vocabulary.

#batman #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #batfam #dc comics #dick grayson #jason todd #damian wayne #tim drake #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #humor

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yourmomxx · 5 months

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Jason: so how's winter going for you?

Y/N, who's violently shivering despite the fact that they’re wearing 7+ layers of clothing: fuck off

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elektrae · 1 year

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The Batfamily as tweets that make me laugh.

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shade9o9 · 2 months

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Batboys as a convo I had with my brothers

Dick: Me and Jason are going to Metropolis for a secret mission.

Damian: For what?

Tim: I believe that's the secret part of it.

Jason: *starts laughing*

#jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson #damian wayne #bat brothers #batboys #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #nightwing #red hood #red robin #robin #this was funnier in my head

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gothamundernightlight · 18 days

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Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Damian: *texting the Batkids groupchat

Damian: I want to be a menace this weekend.

Jason: I will join you on this journey.

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nibordereht · 1 year

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Tim: Is your masculinity fragile or why is your costume blue?

Dick: Tim, what—

Tim: Mine is red, almost pink.

Tim: I'm a real man.

Jason: Then Superman is gender fluid?

#what is this #tim drake #robin #red robin #batman #batfam #batfamily #red hood #jason todd #dick grayson #nightwing #incorrect tim drake #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #dc #toxic masculinity

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batfamhyperfixation · 3 days

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Bruce, running his plan for an undercover operation past the batkids chillin in the living room while post-‘knowing secret identities’ Bernard is there: -and then we will hustle the information out during pool, start stakes low and give them a false sense of security before winning

Bruce: obviously Tim will do that part

Bernard: Tim sucks at pool tho? He can barely make any in and, hell, I made it into culinary school with how many times I was sent to the kitchen to shoot after he hit the cue ball in

Dick: Tim? Our Tim? The one who wins every time? Who was the cause of the rule in the mansion against us ever playing pool

Damien: such a baby, gets stabbed one too many times by sore losers and just has to ruin it for the rest of us

Duke: Tim has hustled all of us outta so much money that at this point it is a part time job for him

Bernard: ??? Tim never wins against me?

All turning to Tim:

Tim, face completely red: he- he always gets so excited when he is winning and he just looks so cute- and his trash talk is basically just flirty banter- and it’s not my fault when he looks like THAT

Tim, shrugging: he just has an unfair advantage over the rest of you, like maybe if any of you were attractive you would start winning pool more too

Jason: and he wonders why he’s been stabbed so many times

#idk whether Tim is purposely losing to Bernard or just getting too flustered he fumbles every time #either way the bat kids are pissed #Tim was so bad bernard honestly has a hard time believing the batkids until they start showing him the videos of Tim doing amazing shots #batfam #batkids #tim drake #bat family #incorrect batfamily quotes #bernard dowd #timber #timbern #bi tim drake #tim drake headcanon #incorrect batfam quotes

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rube-too-many-fandoms · 7 months

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Tim ‘the-world’s-greatest-detective’ Drake, 30 seconds after arriving on scene:

“The murder weapon was a golf club, the victim’s brother did it, and it has no connections to any of the Gotham rogues. Anyone have a pen?”

Tim ‘hasn’t-slept-in-80-hours’ Drake, trying to figure out why his frog shaped coffee mug Looks Like A Frog:

“what the ffukc are you” *blinks one eye at a time*

#tim drake #tim drake red robin #red robin tim drake #red robin #batfam #tim drake incorrect quotes #incorrect tim drake quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #batfamily incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect batfam #batfamily #batfam headcanons #ruby’s dc posts

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arguablysomaya · 11 months

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Jason: I think I’m coming down with something. I’ve been so nauseous lately

Dick, seriously: Maybe you’re pregnant

*they sit there in silence for a moment*

Jason: I don’t know who’s the bigger idiot. You for suggesting that, or me because I almost had a panic attack

#batfam #batfamily #incorrect quotes #batman #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfam #dc #jason todd #dick grayson #dc universe #dcu #1k #5k #10k

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