Lyon: The phrase “free as a bird” is often misused. It means you don’t have to pay for them. See a bird? Pick it up. It’s yours now. I have 4 hawks, 10 pigeons, 23 crows, and a penguin.
Riddle: Off with your heads for having three people on one magic wheel.
Deuce: Wait, three?
Yuu: OH MY GOD GRIM FELL OFF!!!
Incorrect Shipping Quote:
Person A: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
Person B: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
Person A: I said within reason, Person B. How about I murder that guy?
Person B: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?
Person A: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?
Person C: I want to kiss you.
Person D, not paying attention: What?
Person C: I said if you die, I wont miss you.
Person E: I fell—
Person F: From heaven?
Person E: No, I literally fell—
Person F: In love with me the moment you saw me?
Person E: MY ARM IS BROKEN!
Person F: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.
Person G: Are you ready to commit?
Person H: Like, a crime or a relationship?
Sirius: Hey, Harry, what did you do today?
Harry: I prevented a murder.
Sirius: how’d you--
Harry: self control
Knife, about Taco: Did you not see all the red flags?!
Microphone: I thought it was a carnival.
Incorrect Quote 18
Angua: You need to lie still, Carrot. You've lost a lot of blood.
Carrot: I didn't loose it. I know exactly where it is
*points to puddle of blood*
Angua: This is the man I chose to love...
[After Olli did something stupid with his bass]
Joel, nodding: If you're gonna be that hot, you should at least have the decency to be a bit thick.
*Gathered around a campfire*
Frypan: What do you look for in a partner?
Minho: Someone who is brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.
Thomas, by the trees, slightly drunk: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to his knees and sob while apologizing profusely*
Newt: And you really decided, "that one. I want that one."
Paring: Loki x Reader
Loki: Must we do this?
Reader: We MUST. Now, go on, be social.
Loki: *Sighs* Hello, what may I get you today?
Reader: SOME WINGS WOULD BE GOOD AND UMM-
Loki: GEEZ (Y/N), DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO YELL?!
Reader: THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT LOKI, SO SHUT UP AND PLAY YOUR PART! Anyways, yes, I would like a zinger tower meal.
Loki: Your total comes to-
Reader: YOU DIDNT ASK IF I WAS DONE YET!
Loki: Do we really have to do this simply for a job application, I’m sure they won’t make me do this. *Points to his KFC uniform which you bought him*
Reader: *Wipes tear of joy* Yes, you are ready, go, be finger lickin’ good.
Kakashi: I really don't know what the damn Uchihas want from me like ssrly
Obito Uchiha- my team mate who tried to kill me
Itachi Uchiha- my junior officer who tried to kill me
Sasuke Uchiha- my own student who tried to kill me
Alan: When we walk together please take into consideration my tiny legs. I can’t keep up with you. Please think of my little legs when we walk because I don’t want to jog to keep up with you.
Scott: Just get some roller skates and hold onto my sleeve, we don’t have all day.
Airi: where were you born?
Airi: no i mean, what part?
Shizuku: ... My whole body?
-the Marauders getting test results-
Remus: I got 98%. I’ve failed at life and might as well just spend the rest of my life sobbing into a box of chocolates
Sirius: 90%! Bribery and death threats go along way my friends
James: I got 69% hehe
Peter: 55% but at least I passed, that’s all that matters really… I love just passing
Pickle: But if someone from our population doesn't open a cube-themed food restaurant chain called Dinecraft then what's really the point?
Taco: Do you take constructive criticism?
Pickle: Only in villager noises.
[At a party]
Niko, defensively: No, thank you.
Niko: Is it really champagne?
Niko: Fine, if you insist.
Hunter, climbing through Darius' window at 3am: Is four followers a lot?
Darius, locking the window and shutting his blinds: Depends on the context. On penstagram? No. In a dark alley? Kind of.
A misunderstanding? -->> Part 2 | Latest (Part 4)
Incorrect quote courtesy of @gabenath-simp
the world’s smallest chair,, don’t pay too much attention to the environment okay
i think he insulted shakespeare in front of jason or like spilled soda on damian’s sketchbook or smth