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amourdeleon07 · 4 months

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"What did I do wrong?" - A flash fiction

Two posts in a row?!?!?!? I'm pretty sure I'll be posting daily for a week and then ghost Tumblr until I have a new one finished because I already have a bit in store but I'm having author's block atm!! I hope you'll enjoy this just as much as my first one, and if you haven't seen it then go check it out!!!

Warning: MENTIONS OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE AND SELF-HARM. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!!!

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How many hours has it been? How many hours have passed ever since I've promised myself the slumber I crave and longed for?

This is the umpteenth time where I sit at the edge of my bed, staring into nothingness as I drown in my thoughts. Ever since ‘that’ happened, I have been having trouble sleeping, 'I probably have insomnia' I chuckled to myself. The silence is deafening in my ears but it comforts me as I battle my own thoughts.

Where did I go wrong? Why did that happen? Could I have been better? WHY didn't I expect THAT? WHY didn't I CONTROL IT? WHAT DID I DO WRONG?

...

‘Calm down, please.' How pathetic, I'm begging myself to calm down? Unbelievable. I bit my tongue, stopping the tears in my eyes before it fell.

Gosh, it really is something else when you're forcing yourself not to cry, telling yourself that everything is okay when it isn't. This has to be one of the worst feelings mankind has to go through.

Can this please stop? I don't want this to continue anymore. I want to sleep, I'm tired but I'm wide awake, I don't feel like sleeping but I know I need it. But…

How do I even stop my own thoughts? How do I stop ‘that’ from playing in my head over and over and over again?

...

I have to stop myself from doing that, don't I? So, how do I stop myself?

...

What if I grab something sharp and...

“stop” myself?...

Oh, my wrists look really pretty right now. It could use a few slits to make it even prettier, watching the blood seep through the open wound and drop unto the cold hard floor and…

No.

What am I doing? Thinking of ending my life because of a minor inconvenience?

...

I really need to stop, but this isn't the first time I've had thoughts like these or had similar situations like this. This isn't the first I've thought about cutting myself open and leaving myself to bleed. This certainly is the first time I stopped myself from doing so. New Achievement Unlocked!

...

Why am I like this? Is this why ‘that’ happened? I wouldn't be surprised if this is why that happened.

Sighing to myself, I got up and went to grab a glass of water, quenching my thirst. Placing the glass on top of the coaster, I once again stare into the abyss.

What am I doing with my life? I'm a failure, aren't I? Will I ever do anything right? Will I ever make myself proud? Will I ever make ‘them’ proud?

Thinking about all of this makes my head throb. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I exhale deeply, trying to collect myself.

…

I can’t sleep like this. I feel restless. I want to sleep, I know I need sleep, but I just can’t. So do I just sit here and suffer alone with thousands of thoughts running through my head every second?

…

How many times do I have to spend my night like this? How many times do I have the same conversation with myself? I can’t let this continue.

Something has to change. I have to change for the better.

It has to.

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I'll be posting another one tomorrow!!! Stay tuned!!

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cadsubun · 11 months

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I wanted to doodle how I was feeling due to lack of sleep but ended experimenting with brushes and effects LMAO but I think I still like it :>

#artist #art #digital art #digital artist #im too tired for this #sleepy #doodle #digital doodle #brushes go brrrr #ineedsleep

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wispbane · 1 year

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At some point in trying to get better at art and feeling like I'll never be as good as people I follow, I realized I can do whatever the fuck I want and just put pen to pad. It's hard to explain what I mean. I had always felt like I have to match others in some way,and still get stuck in that headspace sometimes, but at some point it clicked that every is just trying to do their thing and that's how I'll develop my style. Not trying to draw like others, but getting inspiration from it and doing whatever the fuck I want with the process.

#ineedsleep

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itsn0vaa · 1 year

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I swear splatfests make me happy one minute then the next thing you know I want to chuck my switch at a wall at full force.

…it’s a game about squids. why

#splatoon #why #ineedsleep

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msmaldesigns · 2 years

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Cat with no name or sweetie as I like to call him, like watching his favourite YouTuber @prettypastelplease and her beautiful feathered friends. #carsofinstagram #prettypastelplease #ineedsleep #hellofromtassie (at Sandy Bay, Tasmania, Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cj7bKPvLSbp/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#carsofinstagram #prettypastelplease #ineedsleep #hellofromtassie

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impactofhealth · 30 days

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Sleep Hygiene Hacks: How to Create Your Dream Bedroom Oasis

Sleep is essential for overall health and well-being, and the quality of our sleep is heavily influenced by our environment. Creating a bedroom oasis conducive to restful sleep involves several factors, from choosing the right mattress to managing electronic devices. In this article, we’ll explore various sleep hygiene hacks to transform your bedroom into a sanctuary where you can achieve the rejuvenating sleep you deserve. Read More...

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fingtrashbag · 6 months

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Broken love (written by me)

I want to be a mess,

I want my shards to be sharp,

I want to fall apart,

Scream and cry and become undone.

I don’t wish for you to rebuild me,

I don’t need you to cut yourself collecting the pieces,

I want you to look at them,

And still love me.

#quotes #whatamievendoing #ineedsleep #ineedlove

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skullyvomit · 9 months

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I miss you so much i wish I was in the alternative universe where we ended up together instead of this one where you’re with him

#ineedsleep #kms #letmego

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livewellclinics · 10 months

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a great tool to wind down at the end of the night where sleep can be a struggle. This wellness blog explains

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miamiberry · 11 months

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college is so draining 😩

i literally have a 9am start for college tomorrow which means i have to WAKE UP at 6:15 am. its so draining and did i mention i only have 1 lesson tomorrow? i have to wake up at 6:15 for one lesson. i coulda had 5 extra hours of sleep smhhh. let me know what ur college timetables are like and we can cry about them together 😍😍

Sleepy regards, MiamiBerry

#college #ihatemornings #ineedsleep #helppp #night!

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inkdrinkr22 · 1 year

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#may2023 #itsGonnaBeMay #iNeedSleep

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paulietehblooxd · 1 year

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Ok 10 minutes of doom scrolling through #susie deltarune

Is enough.

Especially since it’s like 3:30am

#INEEDSLEEP #SUSIEDOOMSCROLLINGBABYYYYYY

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not-in-the-mood-atm · 1 year

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That feeling when you are so deprived of human contact you just sit in the shower and make the water as hot as your body can take just so it feels like the warmth of another person.

#sad #depressed #lonely #bored #tired #h0ney #need someone #ineedsleep #shower thoughts

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vigoursoul · 1 year

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Best Comfort Bamboo Pillow in 2022 – Vigoursoul

Read Article: https://vigoursoul.com/comfort-bamboo-pillow-in-2022/

Health, fitness and wellness. We provide informational articles on a wide range of topics.

Website: https://vigoursoul.com/

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jemimaaesthetic · 2 years

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Its almost 12 at night and i can't sleep yay me

Also my hand is red because me and my friend made a costume and I had to use fake blood yay

Ps saly means slay

#night #sleep #yayme #random #ineedsleep #saly

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thewildcalla · 2 years

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Although I’m a photographer, I’m finding it hard to capture the beauty of this amethyst in a photo. It’s breathtaking. @selundell you always know the perfect thing to say or give when I’m feeling stressed or misaligned. Thank you for this and all the other wonderful surprises you have gifted me through the years. I treasure your energy, your insight, and most importantly, your friendship. You are the truest gem. Love you. #amethystgeode #chakrahealing #balance #ineedsleep #friendshipquotes #youvegotafriend #thewildcalla @thewildcalla @soldbyshanalundell #sisterhood #alignment (at Cape Cod, Massachussets) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch74v8UP3wc/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#amethystgeode #chakrahealing #balance #ineedsleep #friendshipquotes #youvegotafriend #thewildcalla #sisterhood #alignment

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