#Inner work | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

faerieicetea · 10 months

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me going into hibernation when it's time to recharge my social battery

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femmefatalevibe · 9 months

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Femme Fatale Guide: How To Validate Yourself & Stop People Pleasing

A comprehensive guide to learn love & trust yourself and break out of your people-pleasing identity. Hope this helps xx

HOW TO MASTER THE ART OF SELF-VALIDATION:

Remember the longest relationship you have in life is the one with yourself. While we all need an external support system to be well-rounded & healthy individuals, no one else will be with you throughout your entire life except for you. So, acting as your own best friend is the secret to living your happiest and most fulfilling life. You ultimately need to do what's best for you. Otherwise, you're damaging the only relationship you will have to confront in every aspect and stage of your life.

Acknowledge your humanity and fundamental right to have needs, goals, and personal desires. Validate your personhood and individuality. Remember you're only human and are bound to have your own physical/emotional limitations and preferences. If you would be willing to cater to others' schedules, boundaries, and limitations, give yourself this equal level of respect and expect others to do the same.

Know everyone is self-centered to a certain degree. No one cares about your happiness as much or is watching you as closely as you are. They all have themselves and their lives to worry about. People are paying attention to their own self-interests (or want you to accomplish things to boost their own credibility or self-esteem). Being your greatest personal cheerleader is the only way to fully give yourself the praise and spotlight you deserve for your accomplishments.

Self-confidence is magnetic. It is the secret to showing up as your best self in all areas of life. Being secure in yourself makes you a better friend, family member, lover, partner, spouse, professional, conversationalist, etc. Validating yourself will make you feel good, but also radiates into every relationship or interaction in your life.

Discover what you love about yourself. Reflect on the personality traits, skillsets, and behaviors you know to be admirable about yourself. Are you constantly making others laugh? Do you get endless praise for your cooking, drawing, singing, or problem-solving skills? Would people come to you first to manage a crisis like a champion? Are you a master disciplinarian when it comes to going to the gym or reading? Do people regularly compliment your outfits or nails? Think of all of the aspects of your being that make you unique and help you to feel content with your existing, authentic self.

Take control of your life to cultivate your ideal self. While you should consistently praise your naturally admirable qualities, remember that you always can change aspects of your life that will help you feel like your best self. Know that you're in control of your decisions and have the mental freedom to think & act in any way you desire to reach any goals or implement lifestyle changes to feel like the person you feel destined to be.

Block out the noise and negative self-talk. We're (almost always!) our worst critics. Consider every new experience or interaction as a learning opportunity. Mistakes and failures are life lessons that facilitate self-reflection and opportunities for growth. Remember not to beat yourself up for past mistakes: You did the best you could with the information you had at the time. If you weren't embarrassed by your past self, you never gave yourself the chance to evolve and grow. Every success, failure, and new life stage offers its own lessons and teachable moments. Remember that we're all our own unique life paths. Comparing your life to someone else's is like comparing apples and oranges. Both entities may be fruitful but have vastly different flavor profiles, growing seasons, and rates at which they ripen. As Dita Von Tesse shrewdly said: "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there will always be someone who hates peaches."

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE PLEASING:

Acknowledge that people-pleasing is a form of self-neglect. By prioritizing another person's desires or approval above your own, you're ultimately neglecting your physical, emotional, energetic, or spiritual needs. Consider acting in your best in your own best interest as an act of self-care that safeguards your well-being.

Set boundaries. State your limitations, calmly, clearly, and directly. Understand that boundaries are your response to other people's actions, not a means to control other people's behavior. An expectation would be to ask someone not to call you during the workday. A boundary is stating that you will not pick up the phone during the workday and will only make/return calls in the evening after leaving the office.

Communicate your needs & expectations clearly. While you can't control what others will do, being upfront with your needs and expectations can eliminate unnecessary stress, logistical issues, misplaced hurt feelings, or disappointment in any type of relationship. Direct communication between parties will allow you both to respect each other's boundaries and to prioritize interactions that are mutually more positive, helpful, and emotionally nourishing.

Express your "no" freely (and without over-explaining). Remember that "No" is a complete sentence. You do not owe someone your time or emotional energy simply because they asked or expect you to do something/attend an event out of perceived obligation/guilt or simply to make someone else happy. Making sure you're okay is your first priority. Feel free to say "no" to any requests that would emotionally drain you, make you overextend yourself, or compromise any of your personal values/goals/priorities. You don't need to justify your needs. Just kindly decline, and let it be.

Remain consistent with your boundaries & priorities. People will treat you how you let them treat you. Once you set a boundary or share your priorities will someone, stick to these words through your actions to show you're serious about how you expect to be treated. Teach people how to interact with you in a way that doesn't feel self-sacrificing. No one will respect your boundaries and priorities if you don't and are easily swayed to forgo these self-imposed standards on a day-to-day or case-by-case basis.

Consider the long-term consequences of people-pleasing. While it may appease immediate conflict or anxiety, people-pleasing offers a one-way ticket to resentment and misplaced anger. By ignoring our own needs for the sake of others, we place unspoken expectations on these individuals' obligations to reciprocate our emotional labor – whether it be with their future actions or matching our generosity with unprompted favors or emotional support. We start keeping score as we continuously give ourselves over to others of perceived obligation. When someone doesn't return the favor, we get upset, despite never expressing this expectation of someone else or that we're even self-sacrificing in any way. This can lead to us feeling depleted or guilt-tripping others, and from their perspective, seemingly out of nowhere. It is best to remember we always have a choice whether to give to others and it should be of a genuine desire, love, or support for the other person – not as a way to gain external validation or manipulate a situation to create a false sense of obligation that we keep ourselves or the receiving party beholden to. Think of your energy, time, and personal resources given to others as a gift, not a bargaining chip.

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thismommyisforreal · 7 months

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It’s a good day to be happy 🤗

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urloveangel · 9 months

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affirmations for inner child healing and supporting your adult self 💗✍🏼✨

I am no longer responsible for my parents or their happiness

I am fully capable of surviving and thriving without my parents

I am no longer waiting for my parents to change or give me the love, support or care I desire

I am releasing all the expectations of my parents to be someone they’re not

I am accepting my parents exactly as they are and that they give me all they’re capable of giving

I appreciate the love and support my parents give me in their own way

I am responsible to give myself the love, care and support I desire and need

I am committed to fulfill my needs and love myself unconditionally exactly as I am

I am responsible for my life, happiness and healing

I am fully capable of supporting and being there for myself

#self healing #inner child #inner child healing #self accountability #trauma healing #journaling #affirmations #affirm #forgiveness #surrender #recall healing #divine love #higher self #self love #personal growth #inner work #energy work #mindset shift #lightworkers

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vivaciousofficiall · 1 month

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Wellness Series : If you want to get prettier, get HEALTHIER.

Holistic health is an approach to health and wellness that addresses the mind, body & soul. One of its core beliefs is that physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being all contribute to the overall health of an individual.

Therefore, it seeks to improve the WHOLE system rather than just the physical aspect.

Over the past year, I observed that as my health improved, so did my looks. I noticed I began to have a youthful glow, lost weight, toned up & achieved an overall vibrant look.

It's a beautiful journey & I am still learning everyday.

Whether you're new to this space or not, here are two holistic approaches to wellness to get healthy & sexy at the same time. Enjoy x

Juicing/Smoothies.

This is a beginner friendly approach to living a healthier life. One struggle most people face is adjusting to the taste and texture of greens. Juicing is a great way to get your nutrients in without all the hassle.

Tips

Slowly is the fastest way- You can start 2-3 times a week & go from there. This gives your body grace to adjust to the extra fibre.

Do your research: Books, podcasts, blogs, Interviews can all be accessed easily. Learn recipes that fit your particular needs.

Be consistent & patient: Don't just try it for a week and give up. It takes time and effort.(compound effect)

Releasing Stuck Emotions In The Body.

This is another powerful way to get healthier (prettier).

When we experience trauma as children & we are unable to process our emotions, we tend to internalise it and think there must be something wrong with us. As this continues, we begin to store negative emotions within our body.

Stuck emotions can manifest in numerous ways like : poor posture, low self esteem, anxiety, depression, poor self concept and even health conditions. As you begin releasing stuck emotions you start to look younger, vibrant, healthier and glowy.

Ways to release emotions in the body

Daily Movement

Therapy/ Coaching

Meditation

Inner child healing

Journaling

Yoga

Cord cutting rituals

Forgiveness of self and others.

Tips for beginners: Do not try to make huge changes all at once but rather small changes everyday.

Share this with your wellness bestie today !

xoxo, Vivacious

#divine feminine #healer #Wellness #holisticwellness #holistichealth #inner work #self development #self love #level up #glow up #feminine journey #women empowerment #innerunion #masculine feminine #spiritual blog

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pokketofficial · 7 months

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Can I trust you with key to my heart? 🔑

I don’t know why I started wearing a key and a sword/dagger earring. I think at first because I thought it was cool, but then it became a little more symbolic to me. Hoarding the key to my inner self because I had been hurt too many times. The sword being the lengths I would go to in order to protect myself and those dear to me.

Perhaps cheesy, but I’m lame like that 🤭😋

#pokket #alt girl #random thoughts #inner monologue #earrings #alt fashion #alternative goth #things that make people happy #inner work #inner peace

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sk-lumen · 1 year

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You know you've matured when you no longer chase people who are inconsistent, when you no longer cling to relationships or friendships, when you're no longer anxious about any small interaction or pending conversation. Healthy detachment and knowing your worth can do wonders for your overall life.

#level up #glow up #high value woman #healing #recovery #inner work #shadow work #writings

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moonlit-positivity · 2 months

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Lets talk about journaling & what to do when you just can't write it out

So my main gripe with journaling is how much therapy will push this on you as if it's the only method to working out the kinks in your life. It's not. Journaling is not for everyone, no coping skill is. Everyone is different. And there are some major hiccups that come when you factor in:

• trauma involving invasive parents reading your journals and searching your rooms can give you a sense of paranoia around having an actual paper trail of your thoughts just lying around for others to see

• abusive partners and/or abusive environments that are hard to cultivate private personal space

• there is a huge stigma around journaling being a "feminine" activity and because of toxic masculinity men are less likely to engage

• it's just awkward. Sometimes it's just really really awkward to sit down and write your thoughts out on purpose. Some of us have never had that a day in our lives.

• What the hell do you write about???? How long do you write for??? How do you know when you're done???? Why does this feel like a punishment??? Or homework????

The concept of journaling can be kinda problematic for trauma survivors to get into. So the first thing to do is understand why it's useful and how it can help.

Writing things out is just a nifty neat little introduction to the concept of ✨ making space for yourself. ✨ How do you know what you're feeling if you never say it out loud? How do you know what you want & need if you never give yourself time and space to ask? Everything feels too much, you're numb, life sucks, too much pain and it's not safe for you to talk about it out loud, right? You gotta find a way to ask yourself these questions cuz chances are no one else will. If you've never had anyone care about you on a deeper level like that, the yeah of course this kind of attention is difficult to sit with. It's intentional, on purpose, you giving yourself time and space to think about things that probably no one has ever asked you before. That's scary. And it's never about the inability to write. You can write fanfiction, you can write poetry, you can write a 5 page essay on why you're fed up to a friend. That's not the problem. It's the concept of ✨ being alone with our thoughts✨ that's the actual problem. When someone suggests journaling to you, it can feel like, "yeah right, like that's gonna help." The thing is, who else is gonna help you figure it out? The same people you're holding your breath wishing hoping waiting and expecting to notice you suffering in silence and come get you out of it? Has that worked yet? At some point you gotta wake up & try something else.

Let's talk about alternatives & what to do when it is the actual fear of writing your thoughts out loud in a physical form:

Feel like someone's gonna read ur thoughts? Try this:

Write in code

Write in scribbles

Color code your emotions & write in colored scribbles

Rip up the paper when you're done

Tear the page out and set it on fire over the sink

Tear the page out and pour coffee or dark liquid over it to stain the page

Try a different creative / destructive outlet. Collages, coloring books, macrame, crochet, art projects, music, learn an instrument, play a video game, tear something apart, punch a pillow, scream, cry, ruminate & doom scroll to avoid ur feelings.

Use a notes app on your phone

Make a private discord server or private Tumblr specific for venting

Draw a picture

Use symbols

Draw vent art

Photoshop or digital editing vent art

Write fanfiction

Vent or talk to someone privately instead

Remember that you have a right to your life, your pain, and how you express yourself. Remember that you are absolutely allowed to cultivate a space of privacy and protection. Even if you just sit on it for a while and think about ways you can give yourself more privacy, space, and freedom of expression, that's the entire point.

Don't know what to write about? Try this:

Look up journaling prompts online

Look up art therapy prompts online

Ask yourself a question & write out the answer

Write about what's bothering you right now

Write a letter to someone

Write a letter to yourself, your past self, present self, or future self

Write about what you wanna do this weekend

Write about what you did last weekend

Write about what's for dinner

Write about what you're excited for

Write that WIP you've been meaning to write for years now

Write a fanfic

Draw/ vent art

Write whatever comes to mind

Use shorthand or just write a few words at a time

List out your thoughts in bullet form

Write really big, one word per page

Cuss someone out

Write a poem

There are no rules, journaling is literally just there to help you become aware of your thoughts and help give you a safe space to be genuine and authentic with yourself. The goal is to just spend more time with yourself.

Feeling nervous or too anxious to write? Try this:

Buy a journal with a sick cover and cool pages with art on them

Write on loose leaf pages if books aren't your thing and keep them stored in a notebook or folder

Body double or ask someone trusted to spend time with you while you write

Find a good space to be alone

Pick a time when it's soft and easy to reflect, like bedtime or morning breakfast

Set the scenery. If ur at home then put on some music. Light a candle or burn an incense. Turn the lights low. Vibe. Chill.

Go outside and write or take pictures instead

Ease into it with a crossword puzzle, sudoku, or something else that stimulates your brain

Grab a comfort item or set up a comfort station

Grab a snack and some juice

Do something nice when youre done

Vent online instead

Try a different creative/destructive outlet

Vent or talk to someone trusted

Remember that there is no "right" or "wrong" thing to do here. You don't have to write, you could try something else. Even if you just spend some time thinking about it, that's good too. The goal is to make space for yourself. That's all. No rush, no need to "get it right." Take ur time. Breathe. Do something else. It's fine.

Lack of motivation? Try this:

Stop expecting it to be on a schedule. If you're not able to make it a routine then that's where you are right now and that's completely fine.

There's no need to write every single day at every single time of day. You gotta find what works best for you.

I mean if that works for you then that's great too!

Sometimes it'll be so easy for your thoughts to flow, and other times it won't be easy at all. Don't forget that at the core of writing is the actual acknowledgement of whatever it is that needs to be said. Sometimes that's not an easy thing to do no matter how you're trying to sweeten it.

Sometimes its just a quick little "I'm pissed off because-" whenever someone pisses ya off. Yanno?

Other times it's like ten pages of you rambling non stop and it's nice because there's no one there to tell you to stop

Give yourself some room to breathe and wiggle with

Remember this isn't a race. You move on your own timeline and if it's not something you can do right now then that's fine too.

Literally just slow down and breathe. If you don't want to do it then you don't have to force it.

If you do wanna do it but genuinely can't, ask yourself what's the biggest issue in the way and go from there

If it's something like "I want to write but the effort to get the books and pens is too much" then makeshift a writing station. Make it portable. Throw your books and pens and crayons in a bag and carry it with you.

If it's something like "I think this is stupid and I don't want to do it" well then weigh out how it feels to keep going as you are now vs trying something new and kicking your parents ass for calling your emotions stupid.

If it's something like "my hand hurts" then yeah honestly I feel you, that's why I just started talking out loud to myself. At least my cat cares, right?

Can you find other ways of sitting with your thoughts? Yeah definitely. Just work really hard on noticing them. Writing is just a neat little way to do that. That's all.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Hope this helps

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #boundaries #healing #journaling #coping skills #trauma awareness #trauma informed #emotional regulation #inner work #emotional work #emotional healing #how to cope #bpd #actually traumatized #actually bpd

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sidewalkchemistry · 7 months

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from the 'everlasting growth {self healing & transformation}' Pinterest board

#txt #self healing #heart expansive #holistic leveling up #leveling up #self transformation #that girl #green juice girl #glow up #inner work #sidewalkchemistry

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faerieicetea · 10 months

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hot girl summer but its me taking care of my emotional health, spending time under the sun, reading more, finding new things that make me happy, doing things that bring out good versions of myself

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femmefatalevibe · 8 months

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Femme Fatale Guide: Tips To Become More Emotionally Intelligent

Embrace self-awareness & self-reflection: Observe how you feel, behave, and how people generally respond to your words/actions in different situations

Practice self-regulation: Learn to differentiate between your feelings and the actions that would be appropriate in a specific setting or interaction. Internalize that feelings are fleeting and non-factual. You're in control of how you respond/(don't) act on these emotions

Engage in active listening: Pay attention to what others are saying with the intent of understanding, not responding

Focus on emotional differentiation: Understand where your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and opinions end and another person's identity/perception begins

Display radical empathy and acceptance: Understand that almost all people's words and actions result from their own beliefs, past experiences, and current life circumstances/priorities. Put yourself in their shoes when attempting to understand their choices, behaviors, and times they come to you to discuss a problem, success, or major life decision. Accept that you can only control what you do. Very little of other people's actions/the world's workings are personal. Things are happening around you, not to you

Let go of your ego: View yourself as objectively as possible with the potential for improvement. Abolish any superior complex or overwhelming desire to prove your self-importance in others' lives and decisions

Remain open-minded: Question your own beliefs and opinions. Stay curious as to why you believe them to be true/authentic to you. Allow your opinions to change or have the capacity to modify your beliefs upon hearing new information. Understand your worldview and values are valid, but they're not definitively correct beliefs, just because they resonate/feel comfortable for you

Be receptive to feedback: Embrace constructive criticism as a self-improvement tool. Approach it with curiosity and optimism, not as a personal attack

Differentiate between your feelings and capabilities: Your thoughts are not facts. Remember you can do things you don't feel like doing most of the time (work, waking up in the morning, working out, etc.). Learn the difference between being a slave to your emotions and genuinely running out of energy

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spookysalem13 · 7 months

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As a trauma survivor. And someone who continues to undergo trauma daily in many forms. I understand this more than I'd like to admit.

I've become very quiet. I've become even more introverted than I ever was before. More focused on healing. Diving deeper into my spirituality. Going to therapy. Doing shadow work. Because healing is so important.

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urloveangel · 7 months

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#godis oya #oya divine #spiritual life #spirituality #mindset #personal growth #energy work #inner work #spiritual healing #self healing #self love #purpose #new earth #focus #posted #quote #ascension #awakening

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vivaciousofficiall · 4 months

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I Am The Prize. (A Queen's Mentality)

2024, we are stepping out of our baby princess era ( victim mentality) and entering our Queendom.

Gone are the days of sending paragraphs, feeling powerless, being overly emotional, no boundaries, low standards & not taking proper care of ourselves. Kiss it Goodbye.

If you are reading this, then you are ready.

Here are three shifts you can begin to implement to kickstart your Queen Era.

1. INDEPENCE ON ALL LEVELS

True freedom is living life on your own terms. Some of us have spent too long in toxic friendships, romantic relationships and even family situations because we are codependent. We struggle to stand on our feet. We seek their attention, validation, approval , money etc.

We have forgotten our power. We have forgotten that we can give ourselves these things. Independence is key.

2024, we are working on providing ourselves with everything we need.

Start by

Moving more on your own time.

Get your finances together

Take care of your health

Know yourself ( the real you, not the mask you've been wearing)

Start seeking your own validation ( an independent thinker)

Go out by yourself

Educate yourself

Practice Celibacy/Abstinence

There's so much you could do.

2.EMOTIONAL CONTROL

This is so crucial. Emotional control is a must. If you let your emotions run the show , you lose every single time.

A baby princess cannot see beyond her emotions. she's trapped in the world of fight or flight. She's in survival mode.

A Queen knows emotions are just information. She is the observer. She's able to sit back and think about the best way to respond NOT react.

She's cool, calm and collected. No one sees her break a sweat.

Start by

Taking a deep breath when you find yourself getting triggered

Realizing no one has power over you. You get to decide how you want to show up everyday

By being selective on what you give your energy to.

3.SELF AWARENESS

Google accountability. A baby princess lives life as if it is happening to her. She has forgotten she is the co creator & it always takes two to tango. The truth is deep down, she's addicted to being the victim.

A Queen knows she is a powerful creator. If she constantly finds herself in certain unpleasant situations, she knows she has the power to change it because she created it.

Start by

Observing how you show up in life. How do you see yourself ?How do you act in your interpersonal relationships? What are your daily thoughts like?

Ladies, 2024 is the year we win. Its time to thrive. We got this.

xoxo, Vivacious.

#divine feminine #high maintenance #spirituality #high standards #high value woman #feminine journey #inner work #femininity #selfawareness #self development #self love #divine woman #personal development #queen energy #spiritualawakening #ascension

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loveandthepsyche · 4 months

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#TRUTH #ram dass #inner work #shadow work #inner connection #open heart #open mind #stay open #connection

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theshadowworker · 4 months

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Take care when battling your demons that you don't banish the best thing about you

- Friedrich Nietzsche

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