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#Intrusive thoughts suck too
lyxchen · 21 days
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That moment when you turn on your phone but then your OCD tells you that you need to press the on button again but this time with the other hand so that it's "even" and so you do that but that turns your phone off again and then you press the button a third time to turn it on again but now it's uneven again and so you press the button again but with your other hand but now your phone is off again and so you press the button again and it just turn into an endless cycle of why the fuck is that even a compulsion why do I feel the constant need to do things I did with my right hand also with my left hand why can't I just use my phone like a normal fucking person?????
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savage-rhi · 1 year
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🫂
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blackthorn-legion-irl · 7 months
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STOP BEING SO FUCKING KIND TO ME I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE
I SENT A CORPSE TO A CHILD
...
You're too kind for your own good.
Fuck.
//Hello!! Rwat anon mod!! You're doing great lol no need to be nervous about interacting- if anything I was because I got accused of being- a not so great person yesterday and I was worried people were going to think that this character or that person was me ooc. Anyways, about rwat. They have severe intrusive thoughts constantly, and were in a manic state while sending threats and shit to paris which peaked with that package to sprite- but has now dipped down and they're more reasonable, though still unstable
i'll tell you one thing that i've never told anyone on here before. i know that this will make it publically known. but i think telling you will help.
i've done worse.
i don't know what - i've repressed most of that memory. but i was a stupid kid. i'm still a stupid adult sometimes. i probably snapped. my point is - if i can come back from that, so can you.
if you don't want to talk for now - or at all - i understand. i'll work on finding a good therapist near you who doesn't work with the cops - not sure if that's a worry you had, but easing it anyway. cops suck but if you'd like i will absolutely support you, okay? i can't go too extreme without drawing attention, but through... slight money laundering through my dude in johto i can make sure you have at least stable housing and supplies so you don't have to worry about those.
just remember. small steppy better than no steppy. and two steps forward one step back is still a net gain.
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nanasketchdump · 9 months
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Lady touches lightswitch 3 times in the OCD cleaners episode we are watching
My dad: these people should be in a psych ward
Me, who just got done turning all the oven dials on and off 3 times:
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the-acid-pear · 11 months
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Mental health is so complex I wish everything was easy and peaceful and easily classifiable. I wish everything wasn't a problem.
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reserwrekt · 1 year
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One of the things I kind of like saying but it really, REALLY pisses neurotypical people off- is "it's just a piece of paper."
Stupid laws? Piece of paper. The Constitution? Piece of paper. Money? Paper. Marriage certificate? Piece of paper. Any contract, degree, ect is a piece of paper. Your value you place on the paper is just that- your value of a piece of paper.
#be chronically ill and tell me every doctor you meet is the smartest person you know#it won't happen#i just watched a docuseries where two BIOLOGISTS went for a hike and one got bit by a rattle snake#and the other tried to suck the venom out and they WRAPPED HIS LEG TIGHTLY while he BIKED MILES back to civilization#literally everything wrong they could have done any they're degree biologists#they paid money for a piece of paper#marrige is a contract which is a piece of paper at the end of the day#people get really mad about that too that marrige is a partnership contract#if you get legally married anyway#and i don't mean to undermine the history of people fighting for marrige equality or anything like that#its just seeing cis het norms doing things like making gameshows for quick marriges to have obligation families#thats a sobering reminder on its the value placed on paper#the constitution obviously is outdated and had been constructed by privileged and some problematic men hundreds of years ago#its a piece of paper regularly used to opress just as often as to protect#what are laws when theres a dictator? you know how many laws are violated by rich people in power? why if i threatened#someone id be scooped up and forced hospitalized while rich white people can threaten acts of treason and sleep in their mansion the same#night. the pieces of paper (laws) are only enforced to such extents when it is convenient (to oppress) many times over#sorry I'm manic and having intrusive thoughts#my point is people break laws and sometimes it's almost like laws are just pieces of paper used or not used when whoever sees fit
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lunar-wandering · 2 years
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anxiety is really bad today
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revvywevvy · 1 year
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yknow i've mentioned before that chelly is very capable of being violent and explosive. however the most ever angry i've ever drawn her is mildly upset. plus there was the memey-ish thing with chelly literally begging chip to let her bite maim kill people for him.
i kinda wanna draw chelly completely snapping. chelly getting a little too silly.
#cell screams#cw vent#//<- just incase lol#//fun fact that horse toon ive mentioned a few times? sam bucus? yeah he's based on my actual childhood bully#//this might start looking like a vent from here-on and will get violent so little warning if you keep reading these tags#//but yeah since my actual bully ruined my childhood and social development and never apologized i feel a lot of hatred as u can see.#//and since actually getting revenge on the real guy is both illegal and a total waste of my time im just going to take out said rage#//on the toon version of said guy. is that deranged? maybe. at least im self aware about it idk lol#//i am very close to just drawing chelly killing bucus or something idfk.#//but i am not wasting time trying to hunt down some asshole brat who definitely played a big part in me being so fucked up today#//bc like. he had a chance to apologize senior year. then when a friend told him to apologize he fuckin vanishes into thin air never to be#//seen again until graduation night. so in my opinion i think he didnt regret anything and wasnt sorry.#//which sucks bc in my traumatized rage i definitely said some fucked up shit to him too as a kid and would've apologized as well.#//but there was a chance for closure. i tried to find him too to try and get that closure but no. there never will be closure. its over now#//so instead im going to unleash a teeny tiny portion of my bottled up decades long rage and hatred#//on an anthropomorphic purple horse. :)#//besides sam bucus did more fucked up things to chelly than my irl bully since bucus is a culmination of EVERYTHING thats#//fucked me up in life whether it be mental machinations; intrusive thoughts or things that actually happened#//so while perhaps my real bully doesnt deserve death; SAM BUCUS SURE DOES AND HE'S GONNA GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#// :)#//sorry for my violent rambling i got it out of my system now thanks for reading my weird bullshit lmao
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m--bloop · 1 year
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people love to romanticize having violent fantasies but actually having intrusive thoughts about violence and harm is so exhausting like you would do anything for them to stop
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strangetorpedos · 1 year
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.
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stardoopy · 2 years
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I wish blocking someone actually prevented me from seeing ppl I follow from reblog from them. "Just unfollow them then" not when it's every single person I follow
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sloppy-disc · 2 years
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I hope nobody ever has to live with paranoia, and if you do, I'm sorry.
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lightningfilledsaber · 6 months
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Had an awful fucking nightmare and nothing I do is helping long term. It's just short bursts of forgetting until the images flash in my head again
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sadieshavingsex · 9 months
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yeah like. He just can’t give me the security I want I think, that someone else would be able to give me. I feel like maybe the solution is just to break up because I can’t be bending over backwards for him when he just won’t for me. It’s a constantly fucked up power dynamic. Like I am totally unstable but I try my best to accept him and not ask anything of him that he’s not willing to give and I feel like now that I am asking him to do the same he’s like. Ok I’ll try.
But it still feels like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop like him trying is just for now and then he’ll get to decide when the other shoe drops and we’ll break up
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portgasdwrld · 5 months
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★ Hickeys
ೃ⁀➷do they suck (lol) at hickeys, giver or receiver?, how? all answered down below by your beloved Tomie✨
ೃ⁀➷Psss this is a head-canon, take it lightly~
ೃ⁀➷ Suggestive, implied f!reader, NSFW language
ೃ⁀➷ monster trio + Law+ Ace
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: ̗̀➛ Luffy
He’s the type to receive them more than to give
When he realizes he has hickeys, he’s just gonna wonder how it’s even possible and if smth hit his neck during a fight💀
Probably gonna bug Chopper about it, until he brushes him off mentioning it’s nothing
Then when you’re making out and you linger on his neck, it clicks into his mind. He yells a « ooohh, It was you! » after realizing that, it surprises you and you almost bit his skin-
He’s down to try it when you explain that you want them on you too
« You want me to suck your skin a little until it bruises? A bit like when you bruise after a fight? »
« Ugh… not the same but you got the spirit? »
He’s dense, but he tried and he didn’t do as bad as you thought
: ̗̀➛ Law
LMAO?? Wouldn’t he be the type to lowkey hit you with a scientific facts that hickeys can kill you if done wrong🤓😭
Ik he would. Im so sorry😮‍💨
On another note, tbh I feel like he’s just sooo into it, when his mind is fogged by lust. He will be making out with you and damn, he’s now leaving wet kisses all over your neck. That itself, just awaken some type of possessive strike and you’re left with hickeys a bit everywhere.
Will quietly eye them when y’all are cuddling after sex. He won’t comment on it beside if you point them out.
“They look great.”
It would be the most reaction you will get out of him. He’s so hot though- intrusive thoughts but they are real 😔
He doesn’t mind at all if you leave some on him fr. Like if it’s done within the right vibe and y’all are just kicking it and you’re riding him or y’all in lotus position, he might even groan and moan a little louder and curse under his breath.
: ̗̀➛ Sanji
Oh his mouth is ALLL OVERR your body. He’s kissing, praising, leaving hickeys all over your body. On you chest, between your thighs, on you collarbone.
He’s almost in a trance while he loves your body and mark it. He’s gotta to enjoy his pretty lover and you bet he’s gonna make it known that you are his and he’s the lucky man who has you!!
He’s so sweet about it, with sweet compliments, but it’s a bit messy too. Wet patches, mumbles from his muffled lips.
He’s SOOOOO down if you wanna do it on him. He gets very excited and can’t stop smiling and touching your body.
“Yes of course I’m down! Wanna try it rn? We got time yk..”
Best boy 🤧
ೃ⁀➷ Zoro
His neck always has some hickeys from you. He thought he hated it, but he quickly got over it and finds it hot now.
He doesn’t care too much if someone stare at them, but he will throw a curse out with a deadpan expression, if someone made a snarky comment.
He also has this possessive strike, so you bet you’re gonna have some type of bruises-hickeys on your body after y’all are done. Because he doesn’t go easy on you, he will be thrusting deep into you, while silencing you with his fingers deep in your mouth. Along with that, his mouth is nibbling on you neck and all your sensitive spots.
It’s an overstimulating mess.
He smirks satisfied when he sees you marked up, moaning his name and completely lost into his touch.
ೃ⁀➷ Ace
Oh, this man here has the biggest possessive strike out of all the men here.
I touched on the subject a little on my NSFW head canon, but he definitely love giving them. He whines when you do, because he’s apparently allergic to shirts and get slightly annoyed when each of his friends on the ship makes some jokes.
He loves that everyone knows you’re his. Because he gets to have one person for him, that actually feels love toward him and someone he can trust??! That’s the life prize!
Every time he fucks you, he makes sure that hickeys are created everywhere on your body.
He will shower you with attention and cocky comments as he sucks on to your skin.
It’s his specialty😮‍💨
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moonalumi · 4 months
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getting fucked by ellie in every position all during one round <33
bc fucking ellie in only one position is not enough when she looks so hot n is so good, always
warnings- horndog ellie, strap on sex (r receiving), eating out ( r receiving), scissoring/ tribbing, dom!ellie, sub!reader, sub!ellie for like one sec, rough messy sex like rrly messy, manhandling, squirting, breeding kink, degrading names slut, bitch, ellie calls strap her dick like once
this is actually filthy so like read at your own risk
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innocent couch cuddling sesh; that’s it right? no, never with ellie. not with her hands skimming up and down your body. well, it was lovingly at first but her fingertips getting more and more grabby the longer she caress your curves. turning your chin, she kisses you. kisses you reallllll good. lips sucking in your bottom lip, tongue asking for permission to be let in. saliva covering your mouths. that kind of kiss that ellie knows gets you right where she wants you. under her.
“gnna put it in babe okay?” ellie asks, her breath fanning your neck as her tip slips into you.
“shut up just hurry” you mumble as you take ahold of her strap and push it inside you. ellie smirks at your desperation and the little moans you let out as she pushes deeper and deeper until her tip hits your cervix.
sighing contently at the feeling of just being full of her. that’s until she pulls out and rubs at your clit with her thumb.
“ellieee go back in pleaseee puh lease, inside!” you whine, inching your hips closer to her.
“i know i know, just wanna make sure she’s ready” ellie then spreads your folds and before you know it, strings of her spit are running down, collecting at your hole.
a whine of her name and ohmygod… ellie thrusts back into you, roughly grabbing the back of your thighs and lifting them up to your chest. that whine of her name turns into a scream at the sudden intrusion. your body jerking up and up at each slam of her hips that’s digging her strap inside you.
“ugh uah mmm el- lie… tooo de-ep” you can barely form a sentence, she’s just going so fast all you can focus on is how she’s in and out in and out.
“you feel me in your tummy? ohmf fuckkk l-look babe”
ellie guides your chin down to look at the imprint of her strap bulging out from inside you. that sight alone causes your eyes to roll back, head hitting the seat of the couch as you lay back again and your back to arch.
the rougher ellie slams into you, the more you get pushed up the couch until your head hits the jagged wooden arm rests of it. head hitting it over and over again as she thrusts in.
“owww oof el…”
“yeah…y-yeah shut up take it take it” she mutters through her thrusts.
“ellie!” you have to sit up and yell to get her attention. confused eyes scanning your face until she sees you rubbing your head.
“oh shit m’sorry baby” a quick peck to your forehead and she’s now kneeling on the floor, flipping you over and bending you over the couch. your face all smushed in the pillows of it.
she’s quick to push back into you again and pound you as she pleases without your complaining; or so she thought because the endless muffled whines and begs asking her to slow down or that she’s too deep just causes her to grip your ass and force you to meet her thrusts.
“thought you wanted it now your complaining it’s too much? just take it, know you can.”
“oh goddd elll… mmhp ellie ellie ellie”
that’s all you can muster up. brain going blank and all you can say is her name. all you can feel is her filling you. the only sounds in the room being the constant smack smack smack of your skins hitting, the sound of your pussy squelching, and of course the sound of heavy breaths, moans, and ellie muttering filth in your ears as always.
“filling this pussy up, you feel that? gonna get you fucking pregnant….what a slut i betchu like that”
“say my name bitch, let everyone know who’s fucking you right now”
“taking care of her so well i can hear ‘er…godamn you’re so wet, just love getting fucked like this don’t you?”
tears threatening to spill down your eyes, choked moans at every particular harsh slam to your cervix.
ellie’s thrusts stutter and lose rhythm n she’s grabbing your hips and pulling you on top of her as she lays back on the floor. strong hands bouncing you up and down on that strap.
loud moans fall from your lips at the sudden change of positions again, you hold onto her skinny but muscular thighs for leverage. digging your nails into them.
“shit babe—ohh nnnghm fuck! you’re never this loud”
you can even put enough thoughts together in your brain to answer her. just mindlessly fucking yourself onto ellie. n she’s just as fucked out as you are. needy hands gripping and smacking your ass as it jiggles all in front of her eyes. those eyes that roll back as the base of the strap rubs against her throbbing clit.
“ride it baby just like that… mm fuck me” ellie’s voice turning whinier by the second. she notices your bouncing slowing down and she lifts you up n practically slams you back on the couch. she’s just manhandling and throwing you around wherever she wants at this point.
spreading your legs and putting them on her shoulders; shes back inside you. thrusting even more ferociously. those sloppy wet lips of hers kissing and licking up and down your neck, jaw, everywhere she can reach. her groans and breaths getting louder and louder. even letting out a little whimper here and there.
“i love you so much” you breathlessly whisper, shaky arms wrapping around her neck to pull her closer.
ellie’s lips find yours, capturing them in a tongue filled messy kiss. your moans seeping into the kiss as she trys to burry herself deeper; if that’s even possible, if she had balls she’s actually be balls deep.
but els always finds a way. she pulls away from the kiss and forcefully lifts your hips up and off the cushions.
“i love you more, mmpf shittt take this dick” holding you up, she fucks you like her life depended on it.
“ohmygod e-llieee” you moan and push on her lower stomach to get her to pull out some inches just a bit. that’s until she hits that spot and you’re so overwhelmed with pleasure every sense of yours just shuts down and all you can feel is those bolts of pleasure running down your body and hit your clit.
back arching into her, legs shaking on her shoulder n you’re gushing and covering her strap with your cum.
ellie’s own orgasm approaching but she just can’t get there. frustrated, she throws her strap off herself and fucks her clit against yours. all during your high so instead of creaming all over her dick you cover her pussy in your slick.
“baby baby mmm i’m gnna cum—” couple more circles around your clit and her hips are jerking, face scrunching up in that cute orgasm face she always puts on, n her pretty moans and whines are spilling from her agape jaw.
with your eyes fuzzy you watch as she coats your cunt with her babies. ellie falls ontop of you; your sweaty tired bodies resting for a moment til—
“hold’up m’not done—gotta clean you up” you don’t even process what she said or what’s she’s doing until you feel her tongue against your sensitive clit.
you gasp and squirm away, but she chases after you, following wherever you move like her mouth is actually attached to your cunt.
“no no els it’s too—mm!” you shriek at the feeling of her sucking your clit in n tongue moving in circles. it rrly is all too much you can feel every little movement and groove of her tongue. you attempt to push her head away but she latches her arms around your thighs and moves her head side to side. her eyes squeezing shut at the taste of you and her combined.
you squeeze around her head n lift up off the couch again, squirming every which way to escape that mouth of hers. even pulling her hair and roughly pushing her head away isn’t getting her off.
“m’not stopping til you cum again if you really want me to stop say the safeword” she mumbles all muffled into your pussy then continue her attacks.
“i cant cum ellie! it’s too muchhh” you whine but ohh her tongue pushing in you and her lil button nose rubbing your clit has got you over the edge again so quickly.
instead of pushing her away you push her face deeper into you. tugging on her hair as spurts of squirt dribble from your pussy all over her lips and chin.
ellie moaning into your folds and finally detaching herself and wiping her face clean with the back of her hand.
“m’sorry love i couldn’t help myself” ellie mutters as she lays and nuzzles her face in the crook of your neck. pulling a blanket over you two.
“it’s okay” you whisper while catching your breath, “it just hurts now, n it’s so wet i feel dirty”
“well take a bath together babe just- can we lay here for a bit..m’so tired” ellie’s voice trailing lower.
“that’s your fault you put me in like 7 different position all in ten minutes” you say giggling and kissing her forehead.
“mmph shut up” ellie whines and stuffs her face in your neck. she’s just so cute you can help but kiss her all over her face <33
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