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platonic-tony-stark · 1 year

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Y/n: Great now my asshole hurts aswell

Tony: excuse me?!

Peter: Mr stark?!

Tony: you two had sex?

Y/n: nah his cooking gave me diarrhea plus bladder infection

Peter: Dude don't tell him that

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lalixlizzie · 7 months

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Tony: How many times have i told you NOT to list me as your emergency contact, Parker!?

Peter: *stuck on a roof* YOU'RE NOT! It's Thor. . . who is also stuck up here.

Thor: *excitedly waves*

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marvelflame2010 · 11 months

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Tony: Describe Y/n in one word

Peter: Scary

Steve: Artistic

Sam: Strong

Thor: Powerful

Bucky: Mine

All: ...

Bucky: What? I'm telling the truth

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chaotictasha · 1 year

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Incorrect quotes#118

Y/n: (looking at Wanda and Nat) I love them both, but how do I propose to two people?

Tony: Two different restaurants, one person at each restaurant. Twice the dessert, twice the applause.

Y/n: Won’t people think it’s weird if there is a third person just sitting there, though?

Tony: I saw someone feed their pet dog crème brûlée from their mouth at the French place on the corner last week. I think faux third-wheeling at an engagement is the least of your worries.

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teabag-of-mischief · 1 year

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Tony: Did you know that it is more likely to get bitten by a new yorker than by a shark?

Steve: I get bitten by a new yorker almost every day.

Steve: A specific person, actually. From Brooklyn. His name starts with B.

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firegal19 · 1 year

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Tony at a party taking a headcount of his children:

Morgan and America: *dancing*

M.J.: *reading up in the rafters*

Y/n: *with M.J. but drawing*

Tony: *sighs and puts his hand on his face*

Peter: *on the chandelier, Spidey style*

Harley: *about to start a fight with a corrupt city councilman*

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jemilyswhor3 · 2 years

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𝗡𝗮𝘁: I mean, she just came out. I have to welcome her-

*bumps into Wanda*

𝗧𝗼𝗻𝘆: Nat wants to throw you a big party so you could feel loved.

𝗡𝗮𝘁: *nudging Tony*

𝗪𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗮: Oh-

𝗧𝗼𝗻𝘆: Do you feel loved?

𝗪𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗮: *smiles* Yeah, I do.

𝗡𝗮𝘁: Still throwing you a party.

𝗧𝗼𝗻𝘆: Yeah, after we finish saying the world.

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grifmari · 1 year

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Marvel | Incorrect Quote #1

—•—•—

Tony: Here's some advice

Y/N: I didn't ask for any

Tony: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

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mesmerize-the-mayhem · 1 year

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Steve: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.

Tony: I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Steve.

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cozysorceress · 2 years

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Incorrect MCU Quotes | Steve & Tony

-•-•-

Tony : Must be hard not being able to laugh

Steve : I do have a sense of humor you know

Tony : I’ve never heard you laugh before

Steve : I’ve never heard you say anything funny

-•-•-

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platonic-tony-stark · 29 days

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Y/n: oh god I'm so full

Peter: I could puke

Both: *looking at Tony*

Tony: don't look at me I just paid, it was a buffet

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lalixlizzie · 2 months

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Peter: So, what did you do last night?

Tony: Nothing.

Peter: I know, but what did you actually do?

Tony: Literally nothing. I sat in a chair and I stared.

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marvelflame2010 · 2 years

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Steve: Oh, we’re now one big family! And I’m the dad, and Natasha’s the mom

Nat: Why am I the mom? What kind of gender roles are we pushing?

Peter: I know they think I’m the son but I’m not. I’ll be the gay, emo cousin

Y/n: I’LL BE THE DAUGHTER! The hotshot, who’s only dream... is to be in a loving family

Clint: I think I’m a fresh out of jail uncle

Tony: And I’m the sassy aunt. Who talks shit about everyone

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death-isnt-surprising · 1 year

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Tony: I love you 3000, Pepper. Pepper: Tony, stop trying to use our daughter to get out of doing the dishes.

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firegal19 · 1 year

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Peter running into the room: Guys! Miss Potts is Iron Man!

Everyone in the room: *confused as fuck*

Tony nodding his head: Yeah, kid. Go on

Peter: Ok. So FE is Iron on the periodic table of elements and she is a female.

Tony: Yes, and male equals man meaning

Peter and Tony at the same time: Pepper is Iron Man!

Steve looking up from his book: So is Morgan

Bucky: And every woman on earth

Tony staring at Thor: Hey FRIDAY. Put Miss Potts as Iron Man two in my contacts

FRIDAY: Will do Mister Stark

Tony: And summon Mark 45 to shock Bucky half to death

FRIDAY: Summoning it now

Peter: Mister Stark no!

Tony: *sighs* Cancel Mark 45

FRIDAY: Canceling Mark 45

Peter: Thank you

Steve: Wait. This means Natasha is Iron Man as well

Natasha: Ha!

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jemilyswhor3 · 2 years

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Steve: Are you free later?

Nat: No, I gotta do something

*Wanda walks in the room*

Tony: Well, hello there, something

*Wanda confusedly tilts her head*

Wanda: Hi?

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