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#Is a significant response to a work of art and Is something that makes art important
stellarwhisper · 19 days
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Random Astrology Observation
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The fact that Mars is in the first house suggests that confidence, physique, and self-image are highly valued. These people appear to focus their energy on keeping up a powerful, alluring persona. Being eager to give people more self-assurance points to a helpful and inspiring personality.
Mars's position in the ninth house presents an exciting and daring image. The love of adventure, philosophy, and travel fits very well with this placement's expansive character. Extreme sports fervor is indicative of a will to push limits and experience life to the fullest. A desire to disseminate knowledge and a broader viewpoint are reflected in the goal of education and teaching. Adhering to specific values gives their approach more depth and makes the journey lively and meaningful.
Sagittarius Mars traits indicate a great dislike for anything that restricts their freedom or stifles their independence. They don't like to wait around and value efficiency, thus being on time is crucial to them. They cherish their autonomy, therefore any attempts to limit or control them may encounter opposition. People in this role may also become frustrated by unreasonable responsibilities and rigidity.
The variety of characteristics that people with Leo moons exhibit, from a difficult connection with trust to creativity, forgiveness, and a craving for attention and giving. The knowledge of their inclinations, driving forces, and educational experiences deepens the comprehension of this lunar positioning.
Even though it can occasionally come out as judgmental, Virgo Sun people's honesty is valued for its directness. Their readiness to be open about their true emotions and to offer candid counsel is indicative of their dedication to truth and authenticity.
People with Jupiter conjunct Moon are described as having a strong and alluring emotional presence. They seem to have a significant influence on people around them if they can control emotions and use their auras to create a spell. Through their artistic or intellectual endeavors, individuals appear to have secret knowledge banks that open up when they communicate their feelings. The secret to revealing the depth and richness within is found in the allure of their bursting emotions.
In fact, the 10th house in astrology is frequently linked to one's profession and public life. It stands for a person's reputation, accomplishments, and career goals. The planets and signs that make up the 10th house, along with any aspects that they may form, can provide information about a person's attitude toward their work, public persona, and desired global influence.
The depiction of Pisces Mercury in a relationship creates a lovely image of profound understanding of their partner and nearly psychic communication since they have sensitive energy to sense whether something is off. When words are utilized they will use it to bring out the most understanding and sensitive parts of their partner, they love a connection that appears to be a source of consolation and healing. They want their friendship or relationship to take on a lyrical and inspiring dimension due to their appreciation of arts especially music and they have the possibility of writing or even dedicating songs for their loved ones.
Mars in the seventh house frequently denotes a forceful and proactive approach to interpersonal connections. People that have this placement tend to be direct, aggressive, and passionate in their relationships. They can be looking for a companion who can have lively conversations and is just as vivacious. They might have a strong desire to take the lead in relationships and relish the excitement of working together on projects. Direct communication and a desire to resolve conflicts amicably are two possible components of conflict resolution.
Venus in the Ascendant, sometimes referred to as Venus in the First House, frequently improves a person's attractiveness, charm, and relationship style. People that are placed in this position typically have a friendly and cheerful disposition. They could be naturally magnetic, capturing the attention of others with their charisma or beauty. Their identity is greatly shaped by their relationships, and they may place a high importance on harmony and aesthetics in their self-expression. A great desire to establish and preserve lovely relationships in the social and personal domains may be present.
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ipegchangbin · 3 months
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— heavy lifting
sub!gym buddy!changbin x dom!personal trainer!reader | 8.1k words
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♡ … sequel to uplifting After Changbin’s gotten too comfortable around the gym, you needed to remind him of his place. You’re his significant other, sure, but you’re still his personal trainer — and his training is only getting even more personal.
❥ gender neutral reader (they/them pronouns, no specifics). smut. fluff. established relationship. pure porn, no plot.  ❥ bratty perv changbin. petnames “baby,” “coach,” “rat,” and “bun”/“bunny,” semi-public unprotected sex, anal creampie (reader receiving), fingering (changbin receiving), strength kink (headlock), no specifics about y/n’s physique—but y/n is strong.
📝 happy new year bitch!!! i finally fucking finished The self-indulgent fic!!! header art by ME! otherwise, enjoy!
18+ only. minors do not interact.
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You and your client — now boyfriend — Changbin were getting ready to go to the gym. Staring at your bathroom mirror together, he flexed his arms as he hugged you close to his body.
One look at the man and you can tell he’s changed.
He’s far from the man you met a year ago, the boy with a thick build that shyly signed you up as his personal trainer. He used to close his big body into itself every time he wasn’t trying to impress you. Shy as he was with you, his crush, Changbin was also confident whenever he had the opportunity to try and make you swoon.
Now that he got you in his arms, you all his and him all yours, he’s a lot more toned now and a lot more open.
You got very clear glimpses of his personality at the gym, but dating him officially was like opening a gate and welcoming yourself into his colorful world. It didn’t take too long to find out that he works as a lifestyle journalist, but it took many months more to find out that his side gig is working as a talent manager for some small-time DJ named CB or something. Whoever that guy is, your boyfriend claims that he’s just as shy as your coworker Chris, hence why he doesn’t show up often.
Changbin opened up more of his life to you just as you gave lots of your life to him. Every date extended from the gym to the cafe next to it, from fancy restaurants in each of your hometowns to humble home-cooked dinners at either his or your apartments. He stutters less and he’s more giggly around you, while you’re definitely not your usual strict self when it comes to cuddles in his bed.
You two allowed your lives to meld into each other and bond, mix in, and create one shared universe that you can both breathe in. He loved you and you loved him and that never seems to end anywhere.
But it all starts at the gym, you figured, and it always goes back there; he hasn’t signed out of being your client and technically still pays you to help him work out.
“Y/N,” he said with a smile on his face. “Wait first, please? I’m not ready to go to the gym yet.”
You raised an eyebrow at him and struggled to look back as his arms engulfed you. “First time I’ve ever heard that from you. Why?”
Changbin is always more than eager to go to the gym, so the request set you back. He giggled and you could feel his chest pump against your back. He smiled at your figure in the mirror.
“What are you plotting?” You squinted your eyes back at his reflection. Changbin smiled dumbly in response.
You almost asked again until he leaned down to kiss your cheek from the side. It wasn’t a peck at all, his lips solidly planted on the apple of your cheek for a bit longer than two seconds, and it ended with an audible smooch at the pucker of his lips.
“Heh. I love you, bun.”
The smile on his face returned bigger and brighter. His cheeks heated up and his ears turned incredibly red at his own actions even if he was supposed to leave you melting; well, you were, definitely relaxing in the hold of his biceps at the simple display of affection.
But you’re stronger than him, at least emotionally, and he knows that.
“That was it?” You faked dissatisfaction in your tone and it turned him back into the shy guy you met a year ago. “Gonna delay your gym appointment for just a little kiss?”
His eyes didn’t leave your figure in your bathroom mirror. Changbin’s body heated up and you could feel every bit of him collapse slightly as he stared at your face.
To him, you’re still as handsome and as pretty as the time he met you, if not significantly more beautiful now than ever. Even when you were intimidating.
“I don’t think my coach minds if I’m late,” he attempted a smirk.
Changbin grabbed your wrists with a swiftness and held them against your back. Holding them with two hands, he made sure that you were unable to separate your arms, teasing you with one of his strength displays.
“Coach probably wouldn’t mind, especially when they’re late too.”
He wasn’t just planning on locking your hands there. He was feeling bold and you could feel it in the strong hold of his hands against yours.
But you’re physically stronger than he is.
You raised your arms and his hands together over your head, catching Changbin off-guard, twisting your wrists and your body so that you finally faced him. With his hands in the air, you grabbed him by his wrists this time, holding your shocked boyfriend’s hands together and slamming his frozen body against the wall.
You had his hands over his head, locking him in a far more vulnerable position. A blush ran through the apples of his cheeks and painted his ears red. He looked most delicious with his eyes wide open, mouth hung ajar, and pretty little head racing endlessly with thoughts.
“And what makes you think your coach would excuse this unnecessary tardiness?” You asked him with an ear-to-ear grin and half-lidded eyes.
“I’m not saying they’d…allow it…” Changbin bit his bottom lip for a second to ease his stammering. “I’m saying I don’t mind the punishment.”
You chuckled at his weak response. “Where’d you get this boldness?”
“From you, bun.”
You leaned in impossibly closer to his face, tightening the grip on his wrists. Your thumbs massaged the peaks of his palms as your gaze drilled into Changbin for making moves that you never thought he’d do. The man felt so much smaller under you, his biceps clenching suddenly at the tense atmosphere that he initiated.
You stepped away, releasing his hands, and softly smiled. “Binnie, you owe me a hearty dinner tonight.”
Changbin blinked. “Is that my punishment?”
“Yes and no,” you tapped his bicep and squeezed at his muscles. Your sultry voice returned briefly. “Why, do you want more?”
Changbin nodded almost a little too quickly to be subtle.
You turned around to face away from him and smirked.
“How about we go to the gym and find out?”
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The trip on the way to the fitness center went on as it usually did, full of banter and tight hand-holding. Your boyfriend was extra giddy in the driver’s seat — he insisted on driving — and seemed way too excited for something just a little less special than a date. After all, this was your work, and he’s still your client.
That didn’t stop him from wanting to be yours for a day.
You both greeted Chris, your coworker, and Changbin’s right-hand man, and Minho, Changbin’s left-hand devil. They were both sparring until you two entered the picture. After handshakes and smiles, they noticed the subconsciously possessive hand of yours snaking around your boyfriend’s back.
They always had knowing grins and your boyfriend always looked like a bullied little dog whenever they teased him.
Whatever it was between you or the two friends, you shrugged it off and headed to the semi-private training room that Changbin liked. It was a four-walled room full of mirrors and equipment, almost always reserved for you and him, your personal training all upgraded to something much more personal now that everyone in the gym knew the both of you.
Shutting the door behind you, your boyfriend let out a giggle. You turned to see him hiding a smile with a dumb look on his face as if he was aching to tell you a joke. You lightly tapped his cheek and he shrugged it off with a downturned smile.
“Anyway, silly boy, we’re here to work out your upper body and arm strength,” you headed over to set up the equipment, yet Changbin’s eyes wouldn’t stop following your figure as you spoke. You could feel the stare right onto your ass, his favorite part of your body, and it felt nasty yet comfortably familiar.
“Binnie, please pass me the—”
“Hmm…” Changbin crossed his arms, pretending to stand inattentively.
You blinked. Tapped your shoe to grab his attention. Nothing worked, and your boyfriend — your client — just looked at his reflection in the mirror, biting back a grin with sharp teeth.
“Bin?” You called out to him. “Baby.” No response. “Bun, bunny.” The eyes that were once on your ass seemed to look away, settling for your impending reaction.
“Seo Changbin.”
He whipped his head your way, feigning surprise, but you didn’t miss the way the corners of his lips turned upwards for a split second. He loved hearing his name, loved it so goddamn much that he’d tease you this way just to hear it fall from your lips, no matter how stoically you called him. If it meant that you would succumb just to say his full name, a sign that you were his, then that meant he won in his own book.
“Mhmm? Oh right, what’d you say?”
If he was going to play some stupid game again, you were definitely catching on, and you were going to fucking win it.
“Put the bench down here.”
Changbin’s ears were impossibly red again at the sternness of your voice, but he scoffed, appearing like the overconfident self that he wanted to be to you. He grabbed the bench, sure, but he hovered it just above the spot you wanted him to place it on.
“I said put it down.”
He dropped the bench down with a loud thud. His eyes shifted back and forth between you and his pathetic reflection in the mirror.
You smirked at yourself after watching his natural obedience shine past his antics. “How about we try something?”
Changbin shook off his nervousness to listen to your inquiry.
“Plank with me underneath.” Your voice was stern, eyes all strict on his figure; if an outsider was watching, they wouldn’t know that you were looking at your very own boyfriend.
He merely scoffed in response.
“Extra bossy today, huh?” Changbin smirked at you, the shit-eating grin leaving your heart burning.
You’ve seen that smile before: he flashed that smirk often, teasing you especially whenever he sent you mirror selfies from his apartment with suggestive follow-up voicemails. It made you laugh every single time how tough he tried to look, flexing whatever muscle he wanted and texting like he was going to ruin you; only to look like a piece of dumb melted mess whenever you teased back with the promise of breaking his cock.
And now, of all times, you couldn’t back down. “Of fucking course. Aren’t you forgetting who’s boss?”
Changbin wiggled an eyebrow, knowing he was pushing exactly the right buttons. “You already know.”
“I don’t care. Remind me who your personal trainer is,” you sternly said.
A whisper left his lips. “It wasn’t supposed to be you,” he subtly said, but you unfortunately picked up on it.
The dark stare you gave him was all he needed to realize what he had done, mouthing “oh shit.” All he could do now was expect you to double down on whatever you were already doing.
He fucked up, pushing the one last button too early — but he loved that he did, and maybe you did, too.
“Who’s your trainer?” You walked behind his figure on the weight bench. The reflection of your menacing stance in the mirror in front of Changbin left him nervous, his heart skipping a beat as he watched you trace a hand down his back.
You grabbed him: one hand pushing his upper back down while the other hugged his hips upwards. With full force, you caught your boyfriend off-guard by making him fall on all fours on the bench in one singular motion.
“Who is it?” You reiterated, ignoring the long whine that escaped him.
“…Y-You, babe. I-It’s…you—” The words left his mouth all chopped up in stutters.
“I need a name.”
“Y/N,” Changbin whimpered before biting his lips to smile again.
“Seo Y/N.”
If he hadn’t pushed enough, then he did now. It was your job to tease but he was catching on. “Don’t play with me.”
“You know you l-like it. You love my name—”
His response earned him a sudden and firm slap on his ass. The boy cried out, his smile replaced by a scrunched face, his giggle replaced by a full moan.
“Filthy little gym brat,” you hissed.
You grabbed a fistful of his curly hair, forcing him to stare up at your reflection in the mirror alongside his pre-fucked-out face. “That’s what you are. Some dumb little workout junkie who thinks of nothing but their trainer’s ass.”
Changbin subtly turned his head in an attempt to look at your actual face. “You’d do the same if I was your trainer.”
“That’s what you think, rat.” You spanked his ass again, this time allowing it to sting through his thin shorts. “At least I’m not a weak little submissive toy of a man like you.”
He whimpered again, this time sounding pained. You thought it was from the spank itself but immediately figured that he was attempting not to leak precum in his shorts. His cock strained against his pants painfully. How cute.
“Y/N! Please, please!” Changbin hissed.
In a twisted attempt to worsen his situation, you sneaked your hand under his shorts to grope one of his ass cheeks, your nails digging into the spank mark. “Please what?”
“F-Fuck…” He attempted to speak straight, holding back drool from spilling out of his mouth by biting his lips back. He stared at you through the mirror with glossy eyes. The hearts in his pupils shined through his bangs, affecting you as if they were aphrodisiacs.
“Please fuck me?”
Without a doubt, his bratty antics were getting to you, but you merely smirked back at him. The same grin he flashed you earlier now pasted on your face, mirroring everything he did from the ego boost down to the annoying scoff that left his mouth. Only yours was more sadistic, infuriating, yet all sorts of hot and addicting.
Changbin anticipated your response, the brattiness leaving him, faux fear inching close to his heart.
“Do you really think you deserve that?”
He tried to whine but nothing could escape his mouth. He was incredibly hard and his poor little fat dick couldn’t take it anymore. Maybe if he didn’t rush his flirtatious antics before you two got into the gym, he would’ve changed into looser shorts that could actually give his cock some breathing room.
What’s worse is that you probably knew this but never gave him — nor his cock — the mercy to breathe.
Changbin settled on shaking his head, his scalp stinging a little from the hold of your hand on his curls. At his response, you forcibly let go of the hand, pushing his head down slightly, making his head bow in painful humiliation.
A delicious whimper made its way out of his mouth.
“I’m here to train you,” you said, your other hand still firm on his ass, “I will train you to be patient, hmm? I’m not your partner now.”
You squeezed his ass one last time before removing your hand from his shorts. “I’m your coach for now, you’re my client, yeah? I’ll fuck you if you’ve been good enough.”
Changbin simply nodded his head eagerly. You chuckled darkly, impressed at your brat’s sudden obedience.
“Now, where were we?” You slapped your palms on his round and bouncy pecs. “Oh right.”
You got on your knees down to meet his eye level, him elevated as he was supported by the bench. You looked like you could kiss him, or if he stood up then you would suck him off, or maybe eat his ass in that position — but you simply grinned, laying down with your back to the floor and front facing up under Changbin.
“Do a bench plank with me underneath. One minute and thirty seconds. Go.”
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Poor guy had the most agonizing minute and a half of his life.
The sight of you, winning at the game he set, and teasing him with the nastiest curl of your dark smile left him struggling when he usually never did. He could’ve gone on for possibly two minutes or more, he never tested the limit, but maybe he hit it when he was forced to stare at you.
“Thirty. Thirty-one. Thirty-two.” The husky timbre of your voice rang in his head as you counted the seconds down, a daunting timer right underneath him. He couldn’t believe himself, that he tried to become an annoying brat — and he never expected such a return.
But what was he supposed to expect from you — the partner he bagged through fucking in the very same gym he was struggling to work out in.
Changbin’s cock was straining, raging boner only ever getting harder while staring at you and your body that he loved so much. He couldn’t say a word, mutter a single word of worship even if he wanted to; he was still keeping up the act, refusing to succumb to the game he was still trying not to lose.
Maybe he already did, but he’s stubborn, just as you found him out to be.
“Fifty. Fifty-one, fifty-two…”
Flowing through his popping veins, his blood heated up his entire body when he was just planking, a simple warm-up exercise, as he fell into the pit of disbelief that you held the reigns and all the power even while being physically under him. He felt humiliated, less than the confident man he wanted to be, feeling smaller and significantly less strong than he actually was.
“Eighty-seven, eighty-eight, eighty-nine…”
At some point, he felt like giving up, like bucking his elbows and letting go of the bench. That unfortunately meant that he would drop onto your body and crush you, losing the game and, more importantly, hurting you.
It was beyond a game at that point. His nerves were fighting themselves, he wanted to cum, to drop onto your hips and just be fucked by your body. He was so ready to admit defeat, but he couldn’t at the cost and real fucking risk of crushing you.
Crushing the body he so loved. The collection of parts that made up the whole that is you, the one he fell in love with. The curves and sharp edges that framed your plush skin and contours, the hairs that grow in directions that flatter you. There’s something in the way the sight of your body places him in a trance; perhaps because it is the very body that houses the person he loves, his coach, the one who loves him, the one who knows how to love him. And god, you were strong, strong enough to bear his weight, but his anxiety boiled all the way down his crotch.
Can’t crush the body he loves.
He didn’t want that. Of course, you wouldn’t want that. He shut his eyes and listened to your voice instead of the thought. His sweat dropped from his forehead and neck down to your cheek, making you chuckle. The lightness of your laugh relieved him a little, but also made him harder, his hips wishing to line up against yours.
Of course, you noticed. Of course, you knew how badly he wanted you. You pulled your knee up and brushed it against his crotch.
“One hundred!”
Changbin yelled loudly at the action and your last count, failing to realize that he had gone ten seconds past a minute and a half. He tensely let go of the bench, only to catch himself painfully with his elbows and propping his body just inches above yours.
He flinched more at the fact that you barely flinched rather than the last-minute save down on your body.
“Good job, Binnie. You went beyond the time limit!”
Cock aching between his legs, Changbin resisted to call for a restroom break as he knew you would’ve humiliated him. He would want that, but not in the way he truly needed. He craved your validation in the form of proper disciplining, wishing to bring out that side of you, his coach.
But lord was your praise music to his ears.
If he had a tail, he’d be wagging it then.
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The workouts went on for what seemed like hours of agony and his cock wouldn’t soften at all.
He did more reps on the pulldown machine than usual. It didn’t help that you hovered over him with your ass just above his hips as his back ached and arched at each pull. He looked beautiful, *fuckable,*especially when he complained slightly about doing another set at your command.
“Another?”
“Why, can’t do it?”
“What if I said no—”
You pulled the bar down with his arms in a sudden burst of strength, stretching his entire upper body, making Changbin groan so loud it might’ve echoed beyond the private room.
“You’re doing it anyway, that’s a demand.”
Then he got on the bench press while you hovered over his crotch. You counted the reps as he tried to focus on the heavy barbells. Your ass teased him, luscious hips just above his own in a way that made him feel like throwing the weights and pushing you down on his cock instead.
Turns out that wait is more tiring than weights.
Then you commanded him to use the sit-up machine while your lips were dangerously close to his every time he curled up. Then you took him to the chest press and forced him to stare at you, not your ass in the mirror behind him. Every single other exercise felt like another lap down the circles of hell.
He also did elevated push-ups on the bench as you sat on his lower back. The tease of your ass against the back of his hips drove him insane.
You spanked his ass again and he almost came then and there.
He was heaving, not just from the muscle soreness, but also from the thought that you could just fuck his ass in this position if you could — but alas, you held it over his head, and he was just a “filthy fucking gym brat.”
You could feel your veins popping as he smirked at you upon accomplishing his last set, only to feel satisfaction when he ducked his head and pouted when you raised an eyebrow at him.
“Don’t get too cocky, rat.” Your hand found his right bicep and held the firm, exhausted muscles.“How about I check your progress, hmm?”
A finger ran across the grooves of his shoulder blades and defined collarbones. “Oh, this rat did so well after all.” You ran your knuckles against the firm skin, feeling his biceps flex under your bones. Changbin shuddered at the touch, affecting him mentally and physically.
But god was your lovely voice making it so much worse. “Body got so much prettier.”
So was your teasing. “And you’re still so eager.”
You pointed straight at his erection while your other palm squeezed his strong forearm. He hated the teasing, or loved it; he isn’t too sure. Before he could say anything, feel the humiliation creep in for being a huge pervert, you bent down — and intentionally showed the curvature of your ass — to pick up a bottle.
“Does my baby want a treat?” You offered the treat in the form of a bottle of his favorite energy drink, still all cold even after being sat on the floor throughout the entirety of the workout.
The boy was thirsting, sure, but he wanted to quench a different kind of thirst. If the short yet thick tent on his crotch was any indication, then it was the darkened gaze that suddenly flickered in his eyes when he stared at you.
“No.”
A bratty side was returning and you hated that same lopsided smile on his small, puffy mouth.
“I want Y/N.”
You fiercely grabbed him by his cheeks, pinching your thumb and index finger down onto the softness of his cheeks. Your boyfriend’s luscious lips puckered at the pressure, but he tried to look less cute in your hands with a little tinge of failure.
“Demanding now, are we? You’re gonna have to train more if you think you deserve me.” You dug your nails harder into the skin of his cheeks. “What are we here for again?”
No response. Your nails sunk in more, making your boyfriend whimper. “Answer me.”
“Training.”
You let go. “Good. Training for?”
“M-My body.”
“Yes,” your voice softened. “For your pretty body.” You felt up his muscles, fingers walking across the thin fabric of his shirt and dancing around his firm, sweating skin. The threads were cool due to his sweat yet his skin was warm under your touch, the blood of a full-body blush creeping just within his veins, flesh reddening where it’s most sensitive — which is everywhere your hands graced.
“Such a glorious thing. So thick. So firm. So smooth, so beautiful.” Fallen into a trance at your warm words and touching, Changbin grew lightheaded, losing sense of thought almost completely even if he was feeling all sorts of emotions at once.
With a dark voice, you asked him an important question. “My baby worked out so well. But you’re missing something, why are you really here?”
Everything had to be mustered up for him to even reply. “To be…a good boy.”
Dumbing down, he felt his head spinning at your touch. He couldn’t form full sentences as he grew dumb, but he tried, and you could feel him trying. He still wanted to impress you but you had him drunk on the thought of you.
At this point, his poor cock had been edged past his record limit, but he hadn’t backed down to rub one out even in the private room with you.
Even if he wanted to. God, it would be nice, being sat with his back laid flat on the bench while your glorious ass cheeks bounced on his fat cock—
“I don’t think we’re done though.”
Feeling the grooves of his well-carved muscles, relishing in the subtle instinctive flexes, you felt a burn inside your heart just above the chest. Changbin was shaking ever so slightly, judged by the mere touch of your fingertips, a lovely little tactile feeling all contrasted with the flaming intent of your actions.
“I want more from you. How much can you lift again?”
Dryness caught itself in Changbin’s throat. “M-More than…130 kilos…”
“How about we see who’s stronger?”
“Baby—” Realizing how deep your pupils seemed to drill themselves into him, he changed terms of endearment. “Coach, what do you mean?”
“I lift you, then you lift me. Let’s see who’s stronger then. Got it?”
The matter-of-factly tone of voice and hands on your own hips got Changbin reeling. He especially loved seeing your displays of strength, something you were ironically subtle about even as his own trainer.
Is it bad that he got more excited to watch you outdo him than to prove you wrong? He hadn’t realized yet, but he was losing his own game.
This gym session was going overtime.
“You gotta be stronger than me to pass.”
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Squatting before him, you looked up at him with shiny eyes as you readied yourself to carry your big boy.
He thought he would look unattractive from the lower angle however you digressed. His tummy became more apparent, one of your favorite parts of his body, alongside his ass.
It was no secret that the both of you were obsessed with each other’s bottoms. He wanted yours in a way that a hungry man would want to savor the food he’d finally get. You wanted to finger his as if his plump, round, and firm cheeks weren’t an invitation to be violated.
Maybe you should finger him.
Maybe you’d do it after lifting him off the ground.
“Holy—woah, Y/N, woah woah! Put me down!”
“Ah. Won’t put you down for a minute, I kind of like the heaviness.” You lifted him up by snaking a strong arm around his hip and supporting his heavy upper body with your other arm. “You weren’t this big before.”
You spanked his ass one more time, watching the jiggly form recoil, until you held it firmly in your hand.
“Now, I’m sorry Binnie, but I can’t resist you.”
While holding him up, you slammed both of your bodies against the wall, making sure not to break the mirror behind Changbin or hurt him in the process. After realizing that it had only gotten his cock pulsating in his shorts, you made the wise decision to pull it down.
The yelp that Changbin let out was to die for.
You hastily pulled his shirt all the way up to his mouth, forcing him to bite onto the fabric as his belly and chest exposed themselves to you with the prettiest subtle bounces. They had been freshly worked out, skin glistening and glowing from his sweat. Each form of his pecs and the round firmness of his tummy was detailed enough to make you admire it even more than when it would naturally be while relaxed.
Every side of him was attractive, whether or not he worked out, but the view of his exposed body made your core tingle with delight.
Tracing a finger up his stomach, you felt up his skin until the dip of his chest. His cleavage was extra prominent, especially in the way you squeezed his body between your own and the wall. You played with the space before your fingers settled on pinching his nipple.
Of course, you were aware of his sensitivity around his chest, and that made you intentionally tease him even more.
Changbin let out a muffled cry, drool pooling in the fabric of his shirt where his mouth clamped on it. You still held him up, but this time, you adjusted your hold by throwing his leg up and over your arm. He shuddered at the action and then at the realization of what was to come.
Before he could even think, your finger dug into his exposed asshole, and prodded it open.
Changbin bit down and cried, writhing in your arm and attempting to grab anything. He settled on holding onto your shoulders as he felt your finger enter him even deeper.
His cock seemed to move painfully on its own. It twitched rapidly as the heavy dick was left unattended but his ass clenched around you in the same way.
Figuring that your boyfriend already had enough stimulation going on in your little game, you decided to make it worse by sucking on the nipple you pinched earlier.
At this point, Changbin’s mind had gone completely hazy, all thoughts fogged out as he could only focus on the pleasure on opposite ends of his body. Your tongue swirled around his hardened nipple as your lips sucked around the skin of his tit. Your finger was joined by another digit, slowly going as to let him adjust to the sensations. His prostate was getting violated, used, and abused, but it only spurred the both of you on to keep going.
And then you went merciless on him.
Your fingers curled against his sweet spot before getting pulled away, only to push back as soon as Changbin attempted to whine; his subconscious obedience proved itself to manifest as he dropped the bratty act and kept his mouth clamped around his shirt. He made muffled noise after muffled noise, tearing up and drooling, wishing for his cock to be satisfied. He was close, dangerously so, and you could feel it in the way his balls started to grow heavy against your wrist.
Denying him relief, you moved on to suck on his other nipple, picking up the pace in which you fingered your boyfriend.
He threw his head back against the mirror with a loud thud but he could care less. Your other arm’s hold around his body kept him in place but also flexed enough to make him feel all of you.
Maybe it was subconscious possessiveness. Maybe it was the need to keep his melting body up. Maybe it was the lone sensation of being surrounded by muscles and also being penetrated by muscles that made Changbin—
“No, you’re not cumming yet baby.”
Your lips left his chest with a pop and your big boyfriend ducked his head in response. You pulled the shirt off his mouth and dragged it down while your other arm set him down on the ground.
Still shaky, Changbin grew confused and frustrated — not at you, but at the denial of relief once more.
“Time to show your strength Bin. Show me what you got—”
Changbin hastily pinned your body to the mirror wall as well, breathing heavily while holding your body by the hip.
Just as you held him practically with one arm only, he did the same, this time using the other to pull your own bottoms down to reveal your ass.
“Please, Y/N, p-please, ‘m so needy.” Changbin was out of breath, brain still jumbled from being fucked mercilessly in the ass. “Can’t take…anymore…please, please…”
He mustered up every single bit in him to form sentences. The poor thing’s bicep wrapped around your ass as if he could never let you go. “Wanna fuck coach, please, let me fuck you.”
It would’ve been a grave sin to detach from you at any moment. His hunger for your body had grown past his primal instinct and now he had been craving you like crazy.
“What’s gotten you so horny?” You had to ask, shocked at the drooling, sweating, blushed-up mess of a man that you still proudly call yours.
“Couldn’t…stop staring at you. Since earlier. S-Since last night. Since yesterday. Couldn’t get my mind off you.” The words that fell from his mouth graced your ears as slowly as possible yet tasted sweeter than ever.
Praises and worship left his mouth at a rapid rate as he felt up your body lazily with his free hand. “You’re just…so strong…Y/N, you drive me crazy.” Changbin kissed any inch of skin he could get. “I really love you, you know that?”
“Of course. I love you too and you are mine.”
Your response made Changbin shiver, evident in the breathy whine he let out. “I promise I’ll be your baby b-bunny forever. Your strong bunny.” Your boyfriend shook as his mouth left love bites on your neck. “I’m obsessed with you, I love you, I love you, I—”
You shushed your boyfriend’s mindless mumbling with a deep kiss, one that Changbin had been craving for hours. He relished in anything that was you, felt like you, tasted like you, and he couldn’t bear to bring out the bratty act once you finally planted your lips on his.
Sighing into your mouth, he shuddered, leaning into your touch and pouting again to receive more of your love. You smiled in response, teasing ever so slightly, before returning the favor with a dart of your tongue.
Changbin’s arms shot up to hold onto you for support, the strong man crumbling under you. What was better was that you held him up, your own arms circling his body again, the grip from every inch of your body around his putting him steadily in his place.
Then you squeezed.
“Fuck, coach, you—” Then you pinned him down on the bench. “Y/N!”
“Hush, boy, aren’t you so excited?” You chuckled as you repositioned yourself and him. “Wanna fuck your coach so bad?”
“Please! Please, I tried to be good!”
Adjusting your hold on him, you gently laid him down on the bench and abandoned your bottoms completely. “Aw. Not so much of a brat now, are you?” You shuffled your hips to hover over his thick, desperate cock.
“Deep down you’re just a pathetic little boy, yeah?”
“Y-Yeah,” Changbin whimpered mindlessly. “Couldn’t be a brat!”
All you could do was laugh while lining up the entrance of your ass with his tip. “So why’d you try?”
“Because…” He choked on the lump in his throat.“Y-You’re so hot when you’re strict, Y/N…”
You shoved your ass down onto his cock in one fell swoop, enveloping your boyfriend whole.
It was known ever since the beginning that he loved anal; your first bit of sex in the very same gym was telling enough, but he loved giving and receiving in both ways. He loved the dirtiness but also the fact that the both of you prepare and clean yourselves well for it “just in case” it comes up.
This scene was one of those emergency moments that you were glad you both prepared for. Otherwise, you would’ve had the worst time adjusting to Changbin’s sheer girth.
His size was something he had never truly believed to be astounding, but even with your strength, you couldn’t help but lose a bit of yourself to it. The girth was to die for: even if his cock didn’t reach deep, it was heavy, loaded, and big enough to stretch your ass wide. As you lifted your ass before slamming it back down, the feeling of your behind being opened and filled despite the tightness felt amazing.
Changbin felt like crying at your first strokes. He always loved it when you two fucked or made love, but shit, he basically edged himself the whole time in the gym. He had never done such a thing, most especially while putting up a brat act, but every single morsel of thought flew right out of his head as your ass picked up the pace and took him whole.
Somehow, you’d both become sopping wet as you both met in the middle once, twice, thrice, four times — you’d lost count, unable to keep the seconds and rounds of body slamming as you would’ve earlier.
You couldn’t help but moan from the pleasure, making Changbin hold you using all of his limbs with the last bits of strength in him. The both of you knew that he wouldn’t last.
A heat was pooling in your stomach as well, sliding all the way down to your crotch just in front of your ass. While his cock hit the sweet spot in your hole over and over, you could feel your own orgasm building quickly alongside your boyfriend’s.
Neither of you could care less about the mess you were about to make.
Quickly picking up the pace, you slammed your hips down over and over again and pressed your hands against his chest, rubbing his nipples and soothing the sore muscle. The stimulation grew far too much and too fast, but Changbin was so lost in the ecstasy that he couldn’t complain, and he grew so physically tired that he couldn’t hold you off.
Despite the hurt in his cock he still didn’t want to stop you.
“S-So fucking…close…holy shit, Y/N, gonna cum!”
“Cum inside me,” you demanded.
Fully shaking, Changbin dug his fingers into your thighs with all his remaining might and held you in place, shooting load after load from his poor, aching cock deep into your plush walls.
He was so warm, his release filling you with a certain nastiness that you loved so much. You could tell how much he saved all of it from the amount he shot into you. It even started spilling despite the fact that you stilled in place, unable to move from the force of his hands pulling you down. Maybe his training on the pulldowns earlier helped him with it.
But you were both far from done.
You kissed Changbin on his plush lips and sighed in faux contentment. “Binnie baby, you filled me well…” He could only mouth “thank you” in reply.
Then you pulled his sore body up after pushing yourself off his sore cock. “But I want more.”
His eyes widened in a mix of surprise and fear at the prospect of you using his spent cock more than he intended. This might’ve been the punishment he wanted, but it was nothing like what he’d expected.
Making matters worse, you sat behind him and suddenly wrapped your arm around his neck. The other hand found his cock and both arms squeezed, locking Changbin in your hold.
The boy moaned the loudest he had ever done in his entire life.
“Gonna fuck you like this,” you said as you pumped his cock at a rapid pace, “I’ll milk you dry.”
Your words left Changbin gasping, moaning, whimpering, and whining like a trapped dog. The tears in his eyes flooded down as he struggled to adjust in your arms, but god, you were far stronger than you displayed earlier. He barely had any strength left to push you off, to wiggle out, to even form a coherent enough sentence or word.
Was it bad that he liked it this way?
Changbin could only tremble. He moaned your name deliciously over and over as your hand pumped his fat cock from the tip all the way down to his balls at a breakneck pace. You softened the headlock slightly to make him breathe, but the flexing of your forearm drove your boyfriend past the point of self-control. He was overstimulated in every single way.
Again, it was the strength display. The fact that you were putting such a huge man like him in his place. You rendered him unable to function, tired him out until he became putty in your arms, and now you had him caged like a real rat. You flexed your forearm again and Changbin let out a severely choked out whimper.
He couldn’t take it anymore. He came non-stop with his head rolled back to your shoulder, curly bangs covering the fucked-out face he gave you from the sheer amount of pleasure.
Overstimulation sent him over the edge though, making him cum again and again. You could even feel the vein on his cock pop and pulsate under your palm. The lone fact that it only seemed to soften after a few more shots of cum on Changbin’s own belly and on your hand made you feel powerful.
“My tamed brat, my good boy.”
The praise made Changbin see stars. You saw the hearts in his eyes as he struggled to look back at you.
Wholly dumb and unable to move, your boyfriend simply lay in your arms and you both sat there for a moment. You pet Changbin’s fluffy hair with one arm and rubbed his belly with the other, playing with the cum on his tummy before you two shifted in your seats.
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A year or so ago, you two had been in the same dilemma and position as you were. You and Changbin were both sweaty and exhausted, his head rested on your shoulder, unable to move. The both of you relished in the glow of being fucked nasty in the gym with your clothes barely hanging onto your bodies, soiled with sweat and cum — it sounded disgusting, but it was the reality that you two had to face with your puffy cheeks.
Lord knows how agonizing the cleanup would’ve been if you weren’t going to do it with your boyfriend at least.
Guilty at the mess he made, Changbin kissed your face everywhere and mumbled to “take care of it” as he attempted to stand up — only to groan in pain after the soreness hit all of his muscles at once. You laughed and supported his weight with your own. Unable to register how you’re still managing, you guided him up and took mops, towels, and bottles of isopropyl alcohol.
Everyone knew you two were lovebirds, but nobody could use this room after you tainted it with an atmosphere of pure sin.
It’s funny though, you thought; Changbin’s goofy self returned in full force, albeit in a tired body, but still entertained you enough to keep your spirits up while cleaning the room. He hummed, giggled at you, nudged his face into your arm, and even sniffed at you as a joke.
It was your silly signal to take a break in a shower together within the adjacent locker rooms that, somehow, were empty then.
Perfectly enough, you two took a single stall together and showered together just as you two were accustomed to doing. This time was a little more special, the deja vu of the first meeting settling in as you happily scrubbed your boyfriend’s once-sweaty scalp. He was too tired to do it to himself he returned the favor by cleaning you too. The rest of the shower was quiet save for a few “I love you’s” and light chuckles.
He gave your back a peck before drying it, relishing in your natural scent and the aroma of the post-shower lotion. You dressed him up in your extra clothes the same way that he dressed you up too, feeling at home even in a slightly public space.
Home was wherever Changbin was, in the same way, you were his home as well.
Back to the reality of the messy room, you handed him a mop and he grimaced.
“Hey, Y/N, slap my wrist next time I try to act bratty. That’s not really me.”
Your reaction must’ve been funny, as your face earned Changbin a hearty giggle.
“Then who might this just-as-handsome asshole-ish guy be?”
“I’m thinking Changbin would be a fitting name.”
“Ew.” You grimaced in the same way he did earlier. “And you should be jealous of him?”
“Nah. ‘Cause I know you love The Seo Changbin only.”
You snorted at him and threatened to swipe his leg with the mop. He laughed and snorted back. He liked the idea of poking fun at you with his own name so much that he pulled it thrice.
“Say, I owe you dinner tonight, right bun?” He huddled closer to you, the comfortable distance only growing warmer. It was touching to know that he remembered your silly claim from earlier, softening your heart. You got excited to listen as his ideas for hearty food were always right, a privilege you unlocked by having a lifestyle journalist wrapped around your finger.
“Mhmm. Gotta heal from that ass-kicking I gave you.” You bumped the side of your hip onto him, but he blushed as the slight memory of half an hour ago flashed before his eyes.
“Anyway! I know a cozy restaurant just downtown that serves banger seafood. It’s the side branch of that beachside bar I told you about.” Changbin went on to describe his recommendation.
Your eyes lit up at the idea. “Wow, your lifestyle writing really takes you places, huh?”
“Yeah, but actually,” Changbin raised his index finger, “I discovered it through my side gig’s talent, Chan—I mean CB.”
You paused and raised an eyebrow back. “…Interesting. Tell me about it.”
“How about I just show you?”
As if on cue, you both heard a punch, then a comically loud groan that sounded like Minho. Following it was an even louder apology from Chris. The other end of the gym must’ve been busier than you two, you thought.
The laughs that escaped both of your chests filled the air of the private room. It was one of many beats in your relationship that you shared with him often but it’s still an unconfined joy to have with him. You could live in the banter and tiny conversations forever, even the bratty behavior he displayed only cemented how much you loved the man even if he made your heart burn and filled your ass up.
Brats used to be off-limits until you brought him to his limit, and now it’s all you could ever think about.
Changbin expected punishment but only got rewarded with your love and warmth in the end. It’s a mission he successfully failed and a game you aimlessly won.
As you two walked out of the fitness center, wobbling in your steps back to the car, you fought over who’d be the driver. You won again, and Changbin fell asleep angelically in the backseat. At least then you’d wake him up with the hearty meal he recommended.
Even after all this time, your client — and boyfriend — never changed the love he had, has, and always will have for you. He might as well renew his gym subscription under your name even after the gym closes.
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taglist: @toastyseungmo @hobihearteu @biddes-enthusiast @snow-pegasus @subby-kpop @myrandomthoughtsandhobbies @eggielix @turnipfizzle @hanniecheesecake @chrisbahng @laylasbunbunny @ppiri-bahng @he-they-heathen @chriscentric @svintsandghosts @starryoong @bbyquokka @abiaswreck @suengmi @fun-fanfics @fairylouist + @stupidshitsworld @compersian @skz-hell @certifiedwootiny @xcookiemonsteer @lino-jagiyaa @imrllytootiredforthis @straykidsholicleigh @wonhosmistress @fruitcakebin @jisvngc0re1 @silentreadersthings
very special mentions to @meivida for proofreading and editing my fic (and for indulging in my nonsense). please wish them good health this year!
header art is mine! have a great new year everybody :))
thank you for reading ! consider reblogging and leaving feedback if you loved my work 💗 artwork and writing © ipegchangbin. no reposts and translations.
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Going bonkers thinking about modern!Levi who is absolutely covered in tattoos but you have no idea.
I’m talking Yakuza tattoos, full back piece and everything, that are hidden by the long sleeves and high collars he prefers. This is all you ever see him in when he stops into your coffee shop before work in the mornings. Always out front before opening, even though you unlock early, secretly hoping he’ll come in and you can talk to him a little before other customers arrive, but his hand never touches the handle before 7:00 sharp.
His orders are boring: usually a black tea, or if he’s going to be absolutely slammed at work, an americano, black as well. Bitter must be his middle name. You said that to him once and got no response other than a raised eyebrow. He did start leaving two dollars in your tip jar after that though.
You learn over time to recognize which one he’ll be asking for before he opens his mouth; on days he’s anticipating shit hitting the fan he comes in with his suit jacket folded neatly over his arm rather than on his body. He fidgets more too, an uneasy staccato tapping of his fingers against the counter as he waits. You note the care he takes not to crease the material even in his agitation.
He looks sharp in his tailored suits but he’s curt rather than snobby like you assumed he’d be, quiet and disinterested too, unfortunately for you; he doesn't open his mouth much other than to order. His movements are stiff like he’s uncomfortable in the tight quarters of the little shop, but he doesn’t seem unpleasant overall, just not the friendliest of men.
One morning is just insane and you have three things too many going on and you knock his drink over just as he is reaching for it. The cup falls and spills directly onto his hand and wets the sleeve of his white button-up.
You squeal and grab a handful of napkins, dropping half on the counter and dabbing wildly at his sleeve with the other. He pulls away from the touch immediately and you realize what you've done.
"Tch. That's not coming out." He says, frowning down at the brown stain leeching into the crisp whiteness of his shirt, more to himself than to you.
A bold, dark line of navy blue ink begins a scant inch above his wrist. You think immediately that it must be pen ink, from work most likely, but you dismiss this just as fast—no way a man this meticulous would just cover up something like that rather than wipe it off. He rolls the sleeve again and you see the line trail upward, curving in a neat arc and thickening as it wraps around the back of his forearm. It blends into a dizzying pattern of solid ink that covers every inch of visible skin; black and blue scallop shapes, dragon scales you realize, or was it koi? Your eyes trail up the art until the rows of scales disappear under his rapidly-folded cuff just below his elbow.
Holy Shit. Who is this guy?
Maybe you say it out loud because the next second he's looking at you, catching you staring and your face flashes hot.
“I-I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” Luckily it’s summer and you haven’t just scalded your favorite customer, merely soaked him in iced tea, but the question comes out reflexively.
“It’s fine. I’ve got another suit at the office.”
You want to ask what sort of job requires someone to have two suits on hand but you can’t, too shocked and too busy staring at his tattoo to open your mouth again.
Clean cut, professtional, handsome. Not the first adjectives that come to mind when you think of someone involved with them.
“It’s rude to stare, you know.”
"I'm sorry, sir," you say quietly, feeling every once of awkwardness, "I—Wow, you just don't look the type..."
He smirks. The first time you ever see his mouth in anything but a flat line and it makes your heart race. Handsome is right.
"I used to be." He says simply. Something significant is sitting there behind those words though, a weight that his flippant phrasing can’t quite conceal.
He must be older than he looks; not many people in their twenties "used to be" much of anything. You look longer at his face—just a second or two is all you can muster—and note the barely-there lines on his forehead and the crows feet at the corners of his eyes.
You tear yourself away and pour him a new cup—large this time, and on the house—and you watch your mysterious business man, ex-yakuza, whatever, walk out to start his day. Your eyes go to the tip jar and see that he’s left a twenty this time. You amuse yourself by wondering if this is his way of buying your silence.
Maybe you could get him to talk again tomorrow, only without him walking out soaked in your store’s drinks this time.
Link to Part I of the series
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thefloralmenace · 2 months
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Yesterday I said that I think communicating ASAP when you know you won't be able to fulfill your responsbilities as part of something like an activist organization/project should be standard etiquette (and by standard, I mean the general rule - I'm aware there are plenty of exceptions where 1) People cannot communicate due to severe anxiety, lack of energy, etc., or 2) Change happens with no warning).
I think a good addition to that is "Don't commit to something just because you think it's cool, or you generally support it," i.e. only commit to a responsbility-holding role in an organization if you've sat down for a minute and really thought about whether your mental health, physical health, and factors like your job will allow you to fulfill that role to a degree you'd feel good about and that would be sufficient for the people you'd be promising your efforts to. This might seem obvious, but I've definitely been guilty of saying "Yes, I want to work on this," to like 10 different things because I thought all of them were cool, and I genuinely wanted to work on all of them. But if you spread yourself that thin, it becomes a disservice to yourself and the people who are working with you because you end up overwhelmed, and that can lead to defaults on your commitments or lower qulaity work than usual, and that can be upsetting for both you and the orgs you work for.
Several people pointed out on my post about communication that there are lots of reasons that aren't a person's fault which may lead to a failure to communicate (which I thought I conveyed I understood by including "Obviously there are circumstances where that really isn't possible like if you're experiencing such severe anxiety that you can't even open your email account, or you're making a sudden move for a job..."), and I think people definitely deserve grace and forgiveness for getting overwhelmed or having unpredictable energy, etc. because that's human, but even if no one is at fault, it's still a sucky situation all around when someone with significant responsbilities suddenly drops them.
That's why I think it should also be noted that if you have unpredictable energy, mental health, or physical health, it's okay to admit to yourself and others that your place in activism might not be a role that inherently requires consistency or fast response time or heavy mental/physical effort - and there's no shame in that. If you know you're not going to have the energy to consistently communicate, there's no need to put yourself in a position where you're going to be pressured to. There are organizations out there that do open calls for volunteers where you can just show up if you have the energy - no RSVP, no pressure. Other things that I mentioned earlier like compiling or sorting information can be done from the comfort of your home when you have the energy to do it (like making lists of local resources). You can make activist/protest/political art on your own time, and no matter how long it takes to get it published, it'll mean something.
So I guess TDLR: If you know your mental/physical health or energy are unreliable, don't put yourself in a position that will inherently pressure you to reliably show up and do things. To be clear, your health being unreliable does not make you unreliable, but the effect of either source of unreliability ends up looking the same from a practical standpoint - things that need to get done don't get done, good movements stall, people end up overwhelmed and frustrated, and a lot of that can be avoided by knowing your limits (which of course takes time, and you shouldn't feel guilty if you have to default on a responsibility in the process of learning your limits).
Also, I say all this as a person with chronic illness that is now thankfully under control, but in the ~2 years where it really wasn't (to the degree I might collapse in pain and have to be taken to the hospital at any moment), I didn't take on new commitments, or run for offices in my organizations, or sign up for any job that required me to say I could absolutely be somewhere on a specific date/time. I didn't stop working in activism though. I raised money for different causes by making T-shirts out of my house and selling stickers. I shared information. I compiled information. And once my health became predictable again, I gave it a waiting period, then dove back into holding offices and running projects. I knew my limits, I recognized when they had changed, and I respected them for the sake of my self and others.
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dduane · 1 year
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Hello! I was wondering if you’ve shared your ao3 account? Like, have you acknowledged “this account is mine,” or do you keep it personal? Totally respect if you keep it under wraps I just wanted to know if I’m missing something. Hope my wording of this makes sense!
No, it's OK, I get it. You're asking "Have you publicly ID'd a given AO3 account as yours?"
No, and I'm not going to. Because it contains fanfic I've written for pleasure—exactly as I started writing it in my teens—and I have no desire to have that publicly connected with me.
Leaving the usual legal concerns aside (and not being even slightly concerned that a judge would fail to find the fiction "transformational", if the truth came out in a court of law) a significant part of this effort is about answering the question: "What would happen if people read fiction of mine and they didn't know Diane Duane was responsible for it? What would their reaction be?" That urge to discover whether the fiction stands on its own, without the inevitable shadow cast by one’s reputational backstop, still comes up for me in some moods. So when the itch to write fanfic comes up, I scratch it. And all I can say is that, by and large, the results have been satisfying.
Frankly, it's a ton of fun. There's no one to satisfy (at the most immediate level) except me and the local embodiment of the Creative Urge. No one will ever accuse me of "just churning [this] out for more $$$$", because there is no $$$$. And there's room to stretch further and harder than I might normally do in my public work (because there's more forgiveness for failure: and in the arts, I think, failure is absolutely one of the most effective ways to grow). Whatever comes back to me in return for this work—and it is work, some of the hardest I've ever done—is in the form of raw appreciation. So, people, on behalf of my colleagues, let me just say: comment on AO3 fics, yeah? You don't have to be fulsome about it. A word or two will do. And bestow kudos where you may. It's all an AO3 fanfic writer asks.
...And of course some people will say: "Are you off your rocker? You're traditionally published for decades, you have awards, you've been on bestseller lists, how can you not be sure that what you're doing's any good?" ...But you know, no writer is sure all the time. All of us wake up in the middle of the night some time(s), thinking "I'm not sure I've still got it..." and squeezing our eyes shut in terror of future reviews containing the horrible conjecture that Maybe We Never Really Had It To Start With. When you've spent a significant portion of your lifetime making stuff (up) out of nothing, the horrible suspicion that maybe it really has been nothing all the time—I mean, nothing nothing—is unavoidable.
So sometimes some of us want to go out in disguise (and I don't mean paid pseudonymic work: that proves nothing in this particular arena) and see how we fare. I know other traditionally-published writers who've done this—names that would surprise you—and who, by and large, have done it for the same reasons. We are the dark figures, hooded and cloaked, sitting in the shadows of some of the more prominent fandoms that express themselves on AO3; eyes glinting in the firelight, enjoying the reactions to the stories we've got to tell.
It's not bad here, in the shadows. For one thing, you're in a better position to appreciate the figures moving in the light. There's a lot of extraordinary talent on AO3 (and elsewhere in the online fanfic world), sharing stuff with us out of their own hard work and from their own urge toward grace. It's a privilege to read them. (Some of them are better writers than I am. I appreciate them: and comment, and leave kudos, because that's how appreciation is concretely shown. And I take notes.)
Beyond that, there's nothing much to add except that I have no plans to stop. And also: that I think kindly every single day of the very small and exclusive group of people who know "who" I am on AO3, and have kindly kept that data to themselves. Your confidence honors me, friends. May the Work do you honor in return. :)
And now: I owe you all an update, so you'll have to excuse me while I get on with it. :)
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em-nikolaev · 8 months
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A Few Fun Little Language Learning Tips
Hello, these are a few little tips I've found on my language learning odyssey that you may find fun or helpful
Accents! This can be a great way to 'warm up' before speaking more in depth, or a training exercise, but a fun way I've found to get myself to make French sounds (it works for any language really) is to speak English (or insert native language here) with an exaggerated accent that comes from someone speaking your target language, I find this a fun way to get the sounds of a language you're trying to speak into your head in order to make speaking easier (great for speaking exam practice)
Use addictive social media for profit! So this would be best for intermediate to advanced learners, but a way to learn more slang, grow your vocabulary, and just generally get more language input in an easy way is to create a dedicated social media account in your TL and simply lurk, do you spend hours doom scrolling short form video content? Do it guilt free by doing it in your TL, do you like cat memes? read them in your TL, it's addictive, and low energy, so you can do it even when your brain feels like a fried egg
Need a pen pal? Try Ai! So, speaking to real people in your TL can be a daunting task, for reasons ranging from the fear of saying something wrong to just plain stranger danger, so a safer (and totally free) alternative can be through ai chat bots, you can do this with dedicated language learning bots or with just plain old ChatGPT
Nostalgia Bait! One of the most beautiful things about visual art is the fact that it is a universal language in itself, certain symbols can hold significance wherever you go, so re-watching animated TV shows from your childhood or watching new TV content made for kids in your TL can be a great way to add to your vocabulary, and in call & response shows, generate responses and make them more complex if you like, to add more intrigue
When in doubt, write it out! I personally struggle a lot with conjugation, so if you do to, here's a solution I found, use Quizlet learn to help drill conjugation, and when your free rounds run out, you can manually use the flash cards to use the same effective learning strategy (or pay for Quizlet plus, but I, personally would rather eat a dusty lamp then pay for something that, in my opinion, should be free to all learners)
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accio-victuuri · 8 months
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Reasons why we think the 26th bday message was from bunny laoshi. 🗒️
I know that a lot of us don’t need “reasons” to even cpn that xz made this letter, but it’s still fun to look at the clues that make the conclusion much stronger. a lot of us just knew once we read it, who the author is. as with all other candies, if you believe it, you do. if you don’t — there is no amount of evidence that will change your mind.
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i’m so happy that the bday letter is back, last year was understandable (considering what was going on) so to have it this year made everyone emotional. as usual, it’s a beautiful letter. i am thankful that yibo is loved. that aside from us fans, he has someone close to him, who adores him that much to write something like that for him.
this post is only for the letter, not the bday photo/art. that will be a separate discussion.
A HISTORY,
As with most candies, context is key. We don’t usually react this much without it having some story behind it. There is almost always a pattern. The “birthday” message first popped up for Bobo’s 23rd bday. Then 24 and 26. You could say anyone can make a birthday message — but this is different. It’s way too personal and the way it’s written, to us who pay attention, is very xiao zhan. There were already CPNs for the past 2 years, so we were actually just waiting for the 26th bday letter — and boy did it not disappoint!
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• They all start with saying hello to the *age* Yibo. It’s like this person wants to be the first one to greet WYB in his new year of life.
• The way it’s constructed is very similar. It starts with a recap for the year, what WYB has gained from the past and wishes for the future. I have to say that the 2020 letter was the start and then it evolved into what it is today because of the time they spent together. XZ now has more and more things to say.
• The message of growing up slowly is also there. I think XZ really wants this for him, that even if WYB had to “grow up” faster than other people his age, even if he has so many responsibilities — that he still gets to enjoy his youth. 🫶🏼
Even if you let someone else read this letter, and you tell them, “it’s from their s/o”, they will believe you. To those who look at it and think it’s an employee, i don’t even know what to say. You don’t even have to believe that it’s XZ, but it is most definitely WYB’s significant other. Look at UNIQ_OFFICIAL weibo account birthday caption, that’s what employees do.
Now onto the “reasons”. I have listed a couple and I know there might be more out there but here are the ones that made us 😭😭😭😭:
1. My absolute favorite part of the letter:
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In the past year, you've gradually learned to relax while working hard and understood how to face the world with a gentler attitude. You've been willing to watch the stars while hurrying forward. You've been willing to enjoy a pouring rain happening one afternoon. You've been willing to quietly see the horizons at the other side of the sea. You've been willing to stop for a beautiful sunset.
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A person who knows you will only be the one to write this. The level of understanding XZ has for WYB is just. I can’t. He really loves him. The things he decided to use : stars, pouring rain, sea and sunset is so THEM. He might as well add the moon to have the whole cpf symbol set completed. 😂😂😂
And for comparison, XZ wrote these words in his Oasis for the DC wrap-up:
There are two pictures that I really like, one is the beach outside of the Xiangshan hotel balcony, another is the scenery from the highway in the middle of the Hengdian Xianju forest where we frequently ran. These two different places and different views are both places that comforted me when I was lost and helpless. When I was down, I would sit on the balcony, and the sea breeze, the beach and the moonlight would give me the answer; when I was tired, I could rest on the path in between the forest scenes, and upon opening my eyes I would see the raindrops and the fog that would also give me the answer: in each and every moment, I chose to not complain or be negative, I put my all towards each choice and decision I make;
It’s how freakin descriptive he is. He has a way with words that make you “feel” what he is saying or even see it.
2. This part too, about stopping. Slowing down. It’s the same thing XZ said before. Plus in a couple of XZ’s videos, you will see shots of him admiring the sunset.
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Time never pauses, but you seem to know the secret of making the world stop occasionally. You use your calmness and poise to welcome and get in touch with the world. Yibo, sunsets are beautiful, just like every dusk that you missed when you focused on forging forward.
AND THE “Yibo,” OMG. I can hear XZ’s voice in my head saying it. It’s too intimate. I know it’s his name but the way it’s written here — Are we even supposed to read this? It feels too personal 😭😭😭
But my answer is always, WYB wants to show off. He wants us to feel single. I’m in a long term relationship and even I felt single 😂😂😂😂
3. “The small number has changed again” referring to his age. There might be no hidden meaning, but some cpfs interpret this as the person who wrote it is older than him. Because he considers yibo’s age as “smaller” than his. Hello to their 6-year age gap. 👋🏼
4. There is 🎂 emoji in this letter compared to previous years. We think it’s because WYB is at home and they are celebrating together, no need to send a virtual cake. There is also some talk of XZ not being photographed today (8.4) on set. I won’t go to that part of Weibo but the fact that some people are nervous that he is suddenly MIA so close to Yibo’s bday is 👀
5. WYB went online for a bit, we thought he was gonna pull the same stunt he did last year and remove the automatic weibo bday post. He didn’t. What did he look at? The love letter? 🤔
6. Someone asked where was the quote “"stay cool, grow up slowly" on Baidu and the most popular answer is it’s from a book 君生我已老. We know XZ is fond of reading. I found a synopsis, and well, interpret it as you will…..
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Excuse the google translate but you get the gist. It’s synopsis is also kind of similar to his drama SUNSHINE WITH ME. The part of age gap. Meeting and falling in love then having to separate, only to meet again. So if I’m to speculate that XZ got it here and liked it, maybe that’s why he chose to film SWM even if he has lots of scripts sent his way.
7. Similar with GG, who does not look at challenges in a negative way. How he regards it as a part of life and something he has to overcome.
Just regard all the adversities as the numerous mountains you have to climb and the endless waves you have to ride.
8. I don’t have to explain it that much. They both have a thing for “living with no regrets.” It’s all over their interviews.
As a young man full of mettle, you have no regrets.
I will stop right here. Again, to a lot of us, Xiao Zhan might as well sign his name at the end of the post and we would be like — Okay, we knew that. LOL.
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY KING YIBO! ♥️👑
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guxciestone · 1 year
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✧ what does it mean to be a venus-ascendant? ✧
when you have the venus-ascendant aspect in your birth chart, you have a significant sense of beauty, art, creativity, pleasure, tranquility, relationships and connections, and materials; and you approach and view life being aware of this sense. however, the aspect that these bodies are making to each other will determine how this aspect personally comes into play.
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🌷 ; venus conjunct ascendant ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
These individuals are highly aware of how they can fabricate beauty, pleasure, art, tranquility, materials, relationships and connections, and creativity into their life through their appearance, personality, and how they approach others as this is something they desire and prioritize. They tend to have great self-image. They are usually comfortable with their beauty and know what fits them physically, emotionally, romantically, and personally. They embody the entirety of venus and what it stands for.
Furthermore, they are seen as rather graceful, pleasing, charming, and attractive individuals. A common observation is that they are usually conventionally attractive, or at least physically attractive in their own way enough to where others think they are too—Venus in the 12h conjunct the ascendants tend to have “exotic” beauty (ex: Rihanna) while Venus in the 1h conjunct the ascendants tend to have conventional “in your face” beauty (ex: Angelina Jolie)—These are the types of people who love to wear makeup, wear different types of hairstyles, and have an eye of fashion; they could also be the type of people who always likes to "doll themselves up", this goes for both sexes.
They might get along well with other people; this could be from their good manners, good looks, communication skills, sociability, or charm. Therefore, they could also be very popular or well-liked. They are typically received well and usually make dashing first impressions. This could create someone who is social or extroverted as well because these individuals also put much emphasis on their relationships and connections and how they make others feel. They desire to be presented well and make sure others feel comfortable in their space. This aspect could make someone who attracts lots of suitors, potential romantic connections, people who have crushes on them, or people of the opposite sex. There is an aspect of delicacy and femininity in these people that makes others feel calm, protected, respected, or safe around them. Their vibrations are very pleasurable to be around. This aspect is a high indicator of someone with pretty privilege; due to their charm and attractiveness, there is no surprise they usually get good responses from other people, therefore they might get lots of benefits from it such as receiving more love offers and money, making friends more easily, getting treated like a king/queen, and much more. These individuals could also be the types to take advantage of these traits they have and use it for gain such as getting a sugar daddy, moving higher up in their career, or fancying whoever they want—this is more likely in venus in the 1h people as they are more aware of how they come off.
These individuals do have the upper hand in attractiveness and all of the good things when it comes to how they present themselves and how others view them, but it is important that they do not become superficial or caught up in the physical/material world. They could just as easily lose themselves in how others view them and become people pleasers. It is important to not lose the ability to stand up for themselves and hold firm values. There is also a tendency to being overindulgent or lazy, despite your fetching demeanor that attracts nothing but lavish, you still have to work for the things you want. Your attractiveness can only help you manifest the opportunities to work for the things you want.
🌸 ; venus trine ascendant ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Trined individuals prioritize beauty, art, love, money, relationships just as much the conjunction. However, they know how to equally and properly integrate it into their lives without overdoing it, making them fairly beautiful and delicate people. Their self-image is normal, they have days when they feel amazing, days when they feel decent, and days when they feel not so good. However, due to their ability to achieve balance, they always find a way through it all.
It is noticeable that these individuals appear to have a balanced sense of self-worth, self-image, and self-love, unless other aspects says otherwise. They tend to be modest yet aware of what they have to offer physically and personally. More than often tend to be sincere, social, and kind individuals. They usually know how to incorporate different types of accessories and styles into their very own, and make it look amazing on themselves. They always seem to know what fits exactly for them, they also tend to go for an exact aesthetic or makeup look. Depending on what type of trine it is can determine what type of style or aesthetic this person might have (for ex: earth trine can indicate a homely, planty, and comfortable style; fire trine can indicate a passionate and grandeur style; water trine can indicate a cutesy and pastel style; air trine can indicate a flowy and versatile style) Their beauty tends to be well-balanced and easily to look at.
Usually, these individuals tend to have great dynamics in their personal relationships, whether that be with their friends, partners or associates. They get along very well with others, and they appear very comfortable with the connections they have. They are so friendly and kind, even to the point where others are naturally comfortable with them. The type to be sweet enough to help someone with directions. I’ve also noticed these individuals, even if they are introverts, love socializing to some degree. They might love going to social gatherings once in a while just for the love of being around others. They might even be talented in the arts, fashion, beauty, money, makeup, and much more since the trine is the aspect of talent.
However, these individuals could have the tendency to forget who they are. There’s times where they dive into a wave of insecurity or superficiality. It is in their hands to make they constantly take care of themselves so they don’t let themselves go down that road, and remind themselves that they are much more than what others see on the outside. I’ve seen that celebrities with this aspect could lean towards plastic surgery if they are willing to. Even if they do go down that route, it is important they make sure their features are still balanced after the surgery because this is what this aspects calls for.
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🧚🏽‍♀️ ; venus sextile ascendant ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Sextiles value and desire to manifest love, art, beauty and relationships in their life, and they have the power to embody and embrace these particular traits as they have the talent to do so. They tend to have good self-image and self-acceptance, and they most likely certainly believe they are loved and accepted by others. They often attract opportunities where they can activate or put this talent of charm, art, and beauty to good use.
Persons with this aspect are charming, sociable, and confident individuals who tend to be extremely lucky when it comes to being well-received by others and basking in privileges. They are often enterprising people who know how to build connections and network with others for the sake of their career and legacy, therefore making them very popular. They tend to have an extravagant style in which they stand out and catch the attention of others effectively. They may enjoy the arts, fashion and makeup, and there could be opportunities in which they can develop and use those passions to use.
These individuals tend to have electrifying dynamics with the people in their life, whether that be with partners, family, friends or business partners. Therefore, they receive a bunch of help and support from their loved ones a lot. It is more than likely this person will always have someone to lean onto. It is possible that these folk can be someone who could be extremely hardworking, and has a drive to work towards comfort and luxury in life (such as nice clothes, furniture, and much more) They also know to solve disputes and encourage peace. These individuals could also have a huge reputation and love to party or go to extremely socialized events.
Nonetheless, these individuals might need to know how to control these traits, as in how to turn them “on” or “off”. These traits are not exactly naturally apart them like the trine, but they have the potential to activate or operate these traits properly. These individuals need to put active work into making sure these traits are used and used to the best. It is also the case that sextiles should avoid trying to appear how they think others want to see them, they have to embody this aspect to its utmost and primal form, and use this aspect to attract good circumstances (sextile is the aspect of “opportunities”)
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🍥 ; venus square ascendant ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
This makes someone who strongly prioritizes beauty, art, money, relationships, and other pleasures. However, there tends to be a distorted perception around it, which heavily sways how they implement these themes into their life.
These individuals tend to love a significant type of beauty and certain traits that usually correlates to the sign that occupies Venus in their chart. Even so, their idea of beauty and attractiveness might not correspond with how they naturally appear and come off, which is the sign of their ascendant. This might cause insecurity, low self-esteem or bad self/body-image. This backs up the observation that people with this aspect tend to not know what suits them when it comes to their type of romantic partners, style and even friends, or they refuse to accept what does. They often don't feel comfortable with their natural beauty which derives from their ascendant and often desires the beauty of the sign of their Venus. This can make the native fall into great denial. On the other hand, these individuals could feel hatred towards any Venusian-related themes and completely turn a blind eye to them as they believe it is all completely superficial.
Natives with this aspect are typically well-liked, and others flock to them due to their irresistible charm. They are usually the type of people who others do not have any hatred for because they tend to have great courtesy and respectfulness. It can almost make people idolize them, or obsessed with them. There is a common assumption that this aspect gives you sultry, intense beauty, which Venus conjunct Ascendant gives you soft, precious, doll-like beauty. These individuals tend to have a beauty or physical attributes that is not typical for society or people to be attracted to, but either way, these individuals continue to captivate. Others tend to believe that this person is 'picture-perfect' in a way, whatever the house their Venus is in is where they are seen to be perfect, therefore making them extremity gravitating—or where they desire to be perfect (Because it is what the house can show [where] they consider to be attractive) When you are close to a Venus square Ascendant native, you'll find that they are extremely precise on how they look and come off, they are almost perfectionists; they are the types to make sure that every imperfection and improper detail is groomed because they value looking and acting "easy on the eyes". Usually, these natives appear as though they are self-loving and sure of themselves, and this is especially the case if their Venus or ascendant is in a fire or earth sign.
Venus square ascendant is particularly the aspect that gives insecurity, low self-esteem, or body/self-image issues. Natives with this aspect could feel immense pressure to fit into a specific bubble in regards to how they present themselves and their personality; a manifestation is feeling as though they need to size into societal expectations such as beauty standards. This can eventually push the native to act and look a certain way that is different from their authentic selves. They might strongly prioritize Venusian things like looks, money, fashion, popularity, and even relationships to a detriment; this can somewhat tie to why most Venus square ascendants come off as "fake" or seem superficial, which can make them seem untrustworthy as well. Their tendency to appearing fake could even point to attracting superficial or toxic relationships—relationships with people that are only attracted to them on a surface level or the other way around. They might even have the tendency of coming off as inconsiderate (for ex: Kim Kardashian has a harsh reputation for her figure and physical appearance being harmful to women's body image, and with her Venus in the 9th house, it shows that she makes profit and thrives off of black culture and their features) It is important that these individuals make sure that they do not become bratty or spoiled as they can easily find themselves being ungrateful for the things they already have in life, such as being ungrateful for their natural charm that can easily allow them to make friends, or their decent financial/living situation. This could even make them ‘tone-deaf’ or apathetic. These natives could seem like they strive for perfection, which can cause them to become huge perfectionists, especially when it comes to their looks. A common observation is that they have considered "going under the knife". (ex: Kim Kardashian is widely known for getting plastic surgery and becoming the literal beauty standard; Vanessa Hudgens has been rumored to getting a boob job) Due to their desire to appear likable to others, there is a caution to appearing as a people pleaser and not respecting your boundaries doing so. Remember that it is okay to be ‘unfiltered’, real, and honest. There is no need to appear proper and perfect all the time, you’re human. On the other hand, other natives tend to lack in the social department and struggle to manage proper etiquette and social skills. They might not like hugs or socializing at all, which can make them appear spiteful, rude, or antisocial. And this is only because they are uncomfortable doing this as they struggle to feel comfortable in themselves as a person.
🎀 ; venus opposition ascendant ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Oppositions value the art and beauty of relationships as well as balance and cooperation. Their self image, esteem, and comfort depends on their environment and the people around them, and they strive to make sure harmony is in their space.
People with this aspect are rather selfless and charitable human beings who care heavily about others. They value connections and bonding, so these individuals tend to prioritize relationships and their loved ones. They tend to be endearing and well-mannered people who desire to be liked and well-received. An observation is that these individuals tend to have immaculate social skills and immense charm. They also have a lot of friends and are often lucky in love as they have the most potential to catch more attractive and pleasurable partners. These individuals could also have an urge to create something beautiful or bring something gorgeous to their environment, so it is possible that these people could have a desire to create art such as music, paintings, fashion, and much more. They can also be amazing business partners and a good collaborator. These individuals could have delighted and did amazing in group projects. Some could also be good money managers. They are also loving and affectionate towards the people they care about. Being loved and loving others is a priority for them.
Although these people can be humble, generous, and helpful, these individuals should be cautious about becoming too selfless. Again, they prioritize being loved and loving others. Everything they do is to receive and give love and beauty out to the world. They make themselves vulnerable to the risk of being disrespected or mistreated in certain situations, which can make them susceptible to being people-pleasers. There needs to be a balance in modesty and assertiveness. It is also important that these individuals do not change themselves for the sake of getting along with other people, and they might need to find a proper identity within themselves rather than in their environment. Oppositions should also avoid being materialistic and avoiding the spiritual, mental, and emotional assets of life. It is important for them to also know that there is beauty within themselves, and they shouldn’t have to constantly seek it outside themselves. They are irresistible and alluring people who have strong tendencies of creating their own style or flow in their persona, and they should embrace it.
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greekceltic · 2 months
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FAQ Page
I'm not quite done with this, but it'll be nice for later.
Is it okay if I take inspiration from your art and concepts? I've been in a situation in recent years where another artist has taken far, far too much. You've probably seen me talk about it. It's a subject I'm pretty burnt out on. I recently saw another artist's take on this and it seemed sensible to me. I'm just going to quote theirs. I have tried to find my own words, but right now I find myself more comfortable using someone else's. "Well, if you’re having to ask me for permission, either your design is too similar or you’re being overly nervous about a normal artistic process. You’re absolutely free to use my work as a source of inspiration but I’d strongly encourage you to think about the details from my design you like most, and remix them with other concepts into your own unique take."
Taking inspiration is something everyone does, but please don't become a shadow I get bi-weekly alerts about. Ideally your pool of inspiration will be many artists and concepts re-imagined into something unique to you- and that you're being honest with yourself about the result.
Your art is being copied! / Will you tell me who the copy cat is? I know your intentions are in the right place, and I appreciate that, but I get a lot of messages about this and am tired. I'm sure if my art ends up somewhere it shouldn't be or there's a significant event, the community will get it to me through people I know, but let me rest. I'm just sayin' get a second or third opinion before coming to my inbox.
I sent you a message and you didn't respond. Sorry about that. I tend not to stress about messages because it can be a drain. You're more likely to get a response if you let me know from the get go what you want, but nothing is guaranteed. Sometimes I didn't see it, sometimes I got busy or forgot, sometimes I plan to do it later, sometimes I just opted out. It's not personal.
Are you okay with fanart? What about OC interactions? Can I post it? Sure, just don't profit off of it and please credit me. If you want to draw my OCs interacting with yours that's also fine- though I prefer situations where their actions make sense. Alf wouldn't make your character cry for fun, for example. He's grumpy but not cruel. Posting it is fine. Where do you Rp? Are you looking for more partners? Discord mostly. Roleplay consumes a lot of time so these days I mostly only play with my buddy Thema. I probably wouldn't have time to play, but I like to hang around people that do and I don't mind being asked. Just please don't be sad if I never get around to responding! I'm most compatible with people who are comfortable with radio silence.
Can I use your characters in roleplay/as roleplay refs? Considering I actively roleplay my OCs and there's a potential for confusion, I'd rather you didn't. Though I think there's a difference between linking to my art and saying 'this is my character', and linking to it to say 'this has the mood I'm going for, but here's what's different about my character--'. The latter is fine.
Can I make Fan OCs for your setting? Thinking about this makes me tired. Maybe I'll get to a point where I'm more comfortable later, but for now I'd rather you didn't make something directly from my worlds. But lets be real, you don't need my permission to draw cat monsters and I take a huge amount of inspiration from ancient history. Many of my concepts are inspired by things that you can read about and be inspired too. If you see something and are curious if there's a historical source, just ask. Hopefully I'll remember.
Can I repost your work? I don't mind as long as I'm credited. Most of my art has a signature on it already. If it doesn't, please add a link or my name so people can find me. I'm less okay with my work being used as a pageviews grab on a site where I have an active social media presence, but it's probably not worth my time to care.
Do I have permission to draw NSFW art of your characters? No, for a plethora of reasons, some easy to explain and some not, but I probably can't stop you. Just don't profit off of it or show it to me.
Do you have a website for your OCs? I have RP pages for them scattered all over the place and many of them are outdated, but as I type this I recently put some up on Toyhouse. https://toyhou.se/GreekCeltic
Do you have a website for your comic? Sure do. It's an expensive fuck. https://catswaycomic.com/ When does your comic update? Sporadically. I work on it when I have time. My income is solely freelance commissions and Patreon- mostly commissions.
There's other places you could post your comic! Yeah, I know. I may do that someday, but for now I like having my own house, even if it's an expensive fuck. (Not really, the renewal just hits around tax time, Lol).
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merakiui · 10 months
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11:11 — sugar dew sewn anew.
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yandere!rook hunt x (gender neutral) reader cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, obsession, violence, murder/death of reader, description of blood/injuries, rook is rather morbid and creepy in this fic note - this fic is the result of a character fic poll, in which rook was the winner.
“You wear a very forlorn face when you paint, mon cher.”
You swivel on the stool, legs unfolding at the ankles, to properly peer past the easel at the man who sits in a gold-and-white satin chair, backdropped by various animal heads. They’re mounted with such care, each one organized according to where it lies on the food chain. They almost form a pyramid when you look at them from where you’re seated. From a dusky brown house mouse to a pitch-black crow, the heads range in species and size, all arranged on a vermillion wall. 
The biggest one, sitting in the very center of the display, right above your client’s head, is a chestnut-colored buck with a pair of magnificent antlers curling from its scalp. From where Rook sits, it almost looks like those horns are sprouting from his head. Contemplating the discrepancies between man and buck, you swirl your brush through a muddy cup of water and survey the rest of the aureate placards until you reach the top.
There’s a mount lacking a head. 
It was the first thing you took notice of after stepping through the halls of this quaint cabin to reach the sitting room. Although, after spending hours enclosed in cedarwood walls, it feels more like a trophy room—a place meant to showcase the spoils of every hunt rather than welcome people with disarming decorations. 
Rook crosses one leg over the other and, resting his elbows upon his knee, steeples his hands. You peer at the antlers, noting the valiant curvature, before meeting his verdant stare. A grin slowly sprawls on his lips once he realizes you’ve caught his gaze. 
“I concentrate on my source,” you explain with a shrug, still twirling the brush through the water. “Steady focus makes a steady hand…or something along those lines.”
“And yet you never smile, even when working so diligently to bring your masterpiece to completion.”
“If I viewed it as such, then I would have reason to smile.” Your contemptuous scowl slides to the canvas, where you’ve painted two dull green eyes set into a freckle-speckled face. The beginnings of a smile trace the portrait’s plush lips, withholding secrets no one will ever know. “I’ve yet to create a masterpiece. Therefore I can’t smile.”
“Oh, you’re much too critical of your art!” Unclasping his hands, Rook places one upon his chest, as if he must calm his heart after hearing your response. “I’ve studied your work, both through a screen and in person, and as your devout follower I can wholeheartedly say it is beautiful in every way, even down to the miniscule flaws other critics often spot with sharp, perceptive eyes!”
“You speak as if I lead a cult,” you admit with a sheepish chuckle. “I’m just painting the things I find interesting.”
“For a reason, I assume?”
“Usually it’s to find inspiration for what I hope will be my first masterpiece. I’d like to finally feel proud of my work.” The brush peruses the colorful selection on your palette, settling into the green you’ve mixed from yellow and blue. “It’s not that I’m unhappy. I just can’t find it in me to love what I produce.”
“But you enjoy creating, yes?”
“Of course. It’s what I’ve been doing for years. Painting allows me to understand the world and its inhabitants through my own lens.” You put brush to canvas in a series of small, significant strokes. “So when I’m painting… Well, I guess I just want to try to love the things I put on my canvases, even if it’s impossible.”
“Is that so? Then I’m beyond flattered you would ever consider using me as your most beloved muse!” He tilts his head, suddenly more animated than when he first sat down to pose for you, and adds, “I love you, too. Very much, my little artiste.”
“Are you just saying that so I’ll paint you handsomely?”
“Why, I would never say anything that would influence or persuade your process! Just as I love sweetly and solemnly, I also love monstrously and mercilessly. The primal facets of humankind are not exempt from my loving eyes. Even the most dirty and deceitful corners of this world—I love those just as fiercely. So should you choose to depict me as a fiend, I will adore your representation regardless of its harsh implications. After all, there’s beauty in tragedy.”
“And would that make life the greatest tragedy?” You hum as you add a sadistic glimmer to the eyes on the canvas. They pierce you with their unblinking stare, hollowing your soul until they reach unfathomable depths. “Or maybe it’s the ability to love with such a big heart?”
“Are you suggesting love is a tragedy? I suppose, in some sad sense, it is. Unrequited feelings, shattered hearts, lovers separated by way of death or divorce, and even the type of love that curdles like spoiled milk—oh, the misfortune! Each is a tragic tale spun from a mixture of melancholy or the intensity of hatred and all-consuming loneliness. But even so, no matter how horrendous it may seem, I hold each in my heart. They’re beautiful because they have the unique ability to shape a person into someone new—for better or for worse.” 
You lower your arm, hesitating while the excuses rise to the surface, before turning to look at him. “I’ve never known real love, Mr. Hunt, which is why I’m trying to capture it while I paint. I suspect I’ll be able to smile at my work because it will be something I’ve fallen in love with. Only then can I consider it a true masterpiece.”
“Your way of thinking is simply très bien!” He drums his fingers along his knee, humming his contemplation. “I’d love to unscrew your skull and poke through your brain. I wonder what memories have shriveled your ability to love…”
“It’s not that it’s shriveled. It’s just…” You shrug, losing your previous statement. “The words ‘I love you’ are just that—words. I have no use for meaningless sentiments. If I force myself to love, it feels wrong. I can like people and things, but loving them is too much. I can’t cross that line. If I did, I’d be a liar.” 
“Ah, so it’s like that…” Rook chuckles, but none of what you said was remotely humorous. His voice lowers to a whisper, ghostly and haunting, as if wrapping around your head and settling into the very folds of your brain. “I find it charming that you’re unable to love and I love too much. We possess many differences, and yet at the very center of it all we’re merely human beings composed of flesh and blood. It’s a beauty more stunning than the most radiant sunset!”
You pretend to have not heard him, resigning yourself to your work as you spend an absurd amount of time trying to illustrate the peculiar glaze in his eyes. They’re always so bright, but here you’ve painted them as soulless, viridescent sockets—a dark, dense forest having lost its vivid greenery with winter’s frost. But then there is not an ounce of ice within Rook’s eyes. They are always smoldering with many things: enthusiasm, intellect, new opinions just waiting to be shared regardless of whether or not you wish to hear them. It’s a genuine warmth, but something feels strange. Out of place. Much like the headless mount poised right above Rook to form the tip of the pyramid. 
Why is that mount lacking a head?
Without realizing it, you’ve abandoned your task with fixing his eyes to start on the antlers poking from a head of canary-hued hair. 
“You live up to your surname, sir.”
“Please, you’re much too formal with your fan. You need only call me Rook, should it suit your fancy.” He giggles when you pin him with a dubious glare. “Is it so wrong to label myself as such? I go to great lengths out of admiration and support of your work. Wouldn’t that, by definition, make me your fan?”
“I’m not very famous.”
“In my eyes, you are the famed sun and I am merely the moon who hopelessly pursues.” 
“Really? Well, I wasn’t aware I had an eloquent hunter for a fan.”
“Do you find my hobby eccentric?”
“No. It’s normal to enjoy all sorts of pastimes. Hunting is as much of a hobby as it is a sustainable sport. In older times, most people would hunt for the sake of survival.”
Rook nods, his gaze flicking towards the heads on the wall. You dip your brush in brown paint to add more color to the antlers. “It takes immaculate patience to be a hunter. Most hunts are not always successful.”
“Is there a reason you hunt?”
“It’s in a human’s nature to obtain the unobtainable, and I seek beauty in its most visceral forms.”
“I see…”
“Do you?” Rook crosses his legs again, but this time his posture is stiffly statuesque. “Is obsession not the most flattering form of dedication?”
“It’s not exactly how I’d go about defining dedication… But then I suppose everyone has their reasons.” You steal a peek at the headless mount. “Do these heads mean anything to you?”
“Why, of course! They are the beautiful animals I have pierced with my arrow, whether or not I intended to. Often, when you trek through the territory of beasts, you might need to release a mortally wounded animal from its suffering.”
“So a mercy kill.” Your eyes return to the painting, where you set to work adding tiny blossoms along the curved antlers. “Doesn’t that upset you?”
“So goes the cycle of life, I’m afraid. I would be a daring fool to interfere with the balance of the world.”
“Have you ever lost any of your hunts?”
Rook hums, tapping out a rhythm against the top of his hand. The pads of his fingers fall in rapid succession: tick, tick, tick, tick. “As a matter of fact, I have! Just last week, after your departure, I lost the mouse I’ve been trying to catch for years now.”
“Years? Shouldn’t you give up?”
“Not until I feel that mouse’s heart beat within my enclosed fist.” He smiles wide, flashing flawless rows of pearly whites. Under the dim lighting, they appear sharp and predatory. “I suspect I’ll get lucky tonight.”
“How can you be sure? Mice are difficult to catch with bare hands. You’ll need a trap.”
“Mon cher, you wound me! I would never make such an amateur error.” He chuckles to himself, relishing in the cruelty of a joke that doesn’t quite land. “When I set my sights on something, it’s a guarantee I will catch it, even if I must play a dreadful waiting game.”
“My apologies. I was only passing on a helpful tip.”
You pull away from the canvas to inspect the strands of white dahlias curled around the man’s antlers. Frowning, you raise your arm, intending to slash through the portrait with a streak of black paint, when it occurs to you that you need only add red. 
But before carmine, you return to nature reflected in wide greens.
“Has my dear artiste ever hunted before?”
“No, not really. I seek inspiration all the time, but I wouldn’t call that a hunt.”
“Oh? Please elaborate.”
“There are stakes in a hunt. Life and death. Danger. A battle of wits between predator and prey. Looking for inspiration is just a matter of searching and exploring. It might lead some down scary paths, but for me it’s a matter of reading more books or taking a stroll through the town. I don’t like dangerous things, so I tend to avoid them.”
“It pays to be cautious, no?”
“Right. Shouldn’t you be the same, Rook? As a hunter, don’t you worry about what might happen if you aren’t careful?”
“Of course there are worries! That comes with every profession and hobby.” He gestures to the plastic tarps plastered to the floor and walls. “You worried you’d sully my floors, and to ease such a fear I put these protective plastics up. My worries for hunting may be different, but they are worries all the same.”
“I guess that’s true… Well, what do you worry about?”
“Whether I’ll be fast enough to catch my prey when they’re unarmed and unaware.”
“O-Oh… That’s a little…”
Rook laughs a guttural laugh—a sound that comes right from the depths of his chest. “Imagine something you’ve always wanted. Picture it slipping through your fingers, just out of your reach, and now you’ve lost the chance to seize it. Is that not worth a worry or two?”
“I can’t say. I’ve never tried to chase after things I knew I wouldn’t be able to have.”
“Mon cher, you must learn to take risks. How else will you live?”
“I live perfectly fine without the need to step out of my comfort zone.”
Rook hums. “I think you’d change your tune if you found yourself in a risky situation.”
“Define risky.”
“Life and death.”
You pause, your brush poised at the pupil in his eye. “Everyone wants to survive. It’s in our nature as animals. A very basic instinct.” 
“And despite our most dedicated efforts to stall the inevitable, death catches us all—some sooner than most.”
“This is getting kinda…morbid.” 
“Haven’t you wondered,” he asks, and you don’t hear the wood creak under approaching feet, “what someone might do if they found your corpse?” 
He’s behind you. Five steps away in this cubic space. The man with antlers has crawled out of the canvas that once confined him, and he’s behind you. 
The mount on the wall lacks a head. 
The man in the chair lacks antlers. 
The creature in the portrait lacks humanity.
Out of the corner of your eye, you notice a voice recorder tucked away beneath the chair. 
You swallow thickly, your heart in your throat. “I… I’m not sure. I’d hope they’d give me a proper, respectful burial if I died of natural causes.” 
And if it wasn’t natural causes? 
You don’t hear him verbalize the question, but somehow you catch it amidst the smothering silence.
“If it wasn’t natural causes…” You force a laugh, but it’s flat and misplaced just like the headless mount. “That would be murder, right?”
His shadow looms behind you, cast ominously dark over the earthly colored canvas. Slowly, so slowly, your free hand lowers to the pocket in your artist’s apron, where a dozen palette knives rest. Trembling fingers peruse the selection, locating the one with the sharpest point, and it’s the heaviest burden you’ve ever secured in your fist. You remain sitting horribly still on the stool, listening only to the frantic, slick sound of blood rushing in your ears. 
Steeling your frayed nerves, you whirl just as he descends. 
There’s a pause, a stumbled heartbeat, and then raw fear coagulates into confusion when you find him sitting primly in his chair, his verdant stare striking through you as if it’s an arrow he’s just loosed. It hits its mark, for it leaves you pinned in perplexity. 
He was behind me.
“And… And what about you?” you ask, your tongue heavy and thick in your mouth. “If someone… If I found your corpse, what would you want me to do with it?”
He was behind me. I’m sure of it.
“That wouldn’t happen.” His lips curl into a cat-like smile, and he angles his head curiously. “Normally it’s the other way around.”
You see it, then. The silver glint of a sharpened meat cleaver. It lies in his lap, where his fingers curl around the wooden handle, and all while holding eye contact he continues to smile. His teeth are refined cutlery in the light: artfully honed, yet not quite serrated, they’re tough enough to bite and tear and chew. Like a deer trapped in the hauntingly hypnotic glow of oncoming headlights, you don’t dare move. Perspiration wets your brow, slides down your back between your shoulder blades. You lick your lips. Anticipation claws through your intestines, nestling in the very pit of your stomach. Bile creeps its way up your throat like acidic fingers.
What’s happening?
“Come now, ma souris, don’t give me such a sullen face! I’ve shown you my hand. Isn’t that a miracle more beautiful than life itself?”
Your hold on the little palette knife tightens. “One person’s going to leave this room,” you say, your eyes sliding to the recording device, “and it’s not going to be me. Isn’t that right, Rook?”
“I can’t possibly say,” he affirms, dulcet and smooth like rivers of blood running ruby-red from a broken nose. His finger drums a rhythm against the flat side of the cleaver. “But I can certainly guess.”
Carefully, you rise from the stool. His eyes track you, so full of the vitality of the color green. More than that, they’re bright with bloodlust and you’ve been caught in the crosshairs of his cutting gaze. He peers at your unfinished painting and chuckles.
“Even your interpretation of me is beautiful! It’s an honor to be your fan, ma souris. Truly, I’m quite happy.”
You brandish the palette knife as if that will do anything to protect you from him. He stands from his seat, a monster adorned in gloomy garb. Like a stain against the red wall of heads, he no longer fits into the picture you once thought he did. Rather, he is blight in human form, a sinister omen housed within a skeleton encased in friendly skin. 
And he’s walking right towards you, putting one foot in front of the other, in no hurry to rush. The cleaver taps against his hip as he approaches, each bump mirroring every one of your heartbeats with startling accuracy. 
“Are… Are you unhappy with my portrayal?” you ask, not particularly interested in his reply, but desperate to keep him talking at arm’s length. 
For every step he takes, you take two backwards. 
“Not at all! In fact, I’m flattered.” Rook narrows his eyes at you, sickly entertained. “You’ve made prey out of a predator. Not many are capable of such a generous feat.” 
Your back connects with the door. Swallowing thickly, you search for the door knob. “Do you really see yourself as one? You don’t have to be one. Y-You can be neither. You’re only human.”
“Ah, but humans are the worst kind of predator.”
“What makes you say that?” Your fingers wrap around the metal door knob.
“Humans are afforded choices. We think through decisions. We make merry with our enemies and then hurt them after they’ve properly settled. We are complex in a way that differs from other animals. Predators are bound by survival, always trapped in high-stakes life or death, unable to truly make a decision that ventures beyond whether they wish to live another day or become sustenance for those who sit a rung above on the food chain. You see, we are not simple predators.” He raises the cleaver and points it at you. “As for humans, we can decide if we want to feel something when we hurt and kill. We can communicate in languages simple predators can’t use. Oh, the beauty of words!” He chuckles, elated. “To pluck a phrase from my vast lexicon: I’m going to take your life for myself, ma souris. Stow it within the depths of my very soul so that I may be the only one to treasure your rarity.”
The confession guts you quicker than his knife ever could. 
Wrenching the door open, you turn on your heel and step through, ready to break into a sprint, when heavy footfalls make their way towards you from behind. He covers the meager distance in seconds, wrapping a muscled arm around your torso and yanking you back into the room. You scream, words and sounds mixing into something incoherent, and elbow him in the ribs with as much force as you can muster. He releases you and you, fueled with panic and adrenaline, drop to your knees just as he swings, your hand closing around the palette knife you had previously lost. 
Somehow you manage to get back on your feet when he descends again, this time intentionally missing your shoulder when he brings the cleaver down. It cuts through the sliver of space between empty air and your own body, narrowly missing you by a hair. You throw yourself against the wall, entangled in a plastic tarp that comes loose from its hooks. They fall around you in noisy pitter-patters, something akin to metallic rainfall, and you hit the floor with a harsh thump.
And all the while, the mounts continue to peer at you with glass eyes.
“There’s no need to fall over yourself in a frantic haste. You’ll waste all of your energy, and even then adrenaline won’t be enough to fuel you. I’ll catch you if you aren’t careful…” He smiles at you from where he stands, green eyes cold with calculation. “Let’s take a moment to chat, shall we? I’d like to regale you with the five stages of the delightful thing known as prey drive. You’ve heard of it, haven’t you?”
“No, of course not,” you spit, vitriol lacing every syllable. Your pupils flit about the room, tracing the cleaver in his hand and then flickering towards the chair. The recording device sits in shadow, just within your reach. If you can stand up, take two steps forward, and drop down when he moves to intercept, you might be able to retrieve it. “Enlighten me since you seem so eager to run your mouth.”
Rook chuckles and enunciates his every step with a whistle. He reaches the chair in three steps and kicks the recording device out from under it. You watch it skid across the floor towards you, settling mere inches from your feet. You glance at it; it’s still recording, seconds stapled into it with every tick of your heart.
“A dog searches.” His back is turned to you, and he gazes at the mounts on the wall. You lower just enough to swipe the device from the ground. It’s not heavy in your palm; rather, it’s palm-sized and it slips into your pocket like a silent knife through butter. “And when it finds, it stalks. Have you caught the pattern yet?”
His neck is right there. All you need to do is rush up to him, grab him from behind, and drive the palette knife so far into the side of his neck that it’ll surely cause some sort of distress. Or you could turn and run. You have evidence. You have his address. You have your car. You can escape. You can drive far away from this horrifying cabin in the woods and never return. You can live. 
You can run.
“And from there…” 
So you do.
He whirls just as you dart through the door, over the threshold into the hall, and you miss the crazed twinkle reflected in wild, untamed green eyes. Rook’s laughter follows you, airy and light like a comforting breeze. He’s alive with murderous delight, and you’re nearly dead with fright. 
“Ensues the chase!” he calls out, so close in the cramped confines of the hall that his voice nearly grazes you. 
You swallow your sobs, pressing onwards with hardened resolve, and follow the length of the hall until it spits you out into another room. It’s undeniably a kitchen, what with the refrigerator and microwave pushed into a corner, but it’s furnished more like a lab. Nearly every appliance is metallic and the floors are tiled, constructed with surfaces that are perfect for washing away pesky fluids. A drain is built into the very center of the floor, sticking out like the nastiest bruise. You spy meat hooks hanging in place of where spatulas and whisks ought to be—both of which are innocent culinary tools meant to assist in food preparation rather than something killer. 
Spinning on your feet, you locate the door opposite of where you stand in the small kitchen-lab and take a momentous step towards it, hoping it leads you closer to an exit and further from your hunter, when a cold hand seizes your wrist, spidery digits curling into your skin. A shrill scream rips from the depths of your throat, surely shredding your vocal chords into bloody ribbons. You struggle, yanking your arm in vain, for his hold is impossibly strong. He tugs you towards him, his feet moving in time with the shuffling of yours. It’s a stiff stalemate of a waltz. You pull away and he pursues, his hand creeping up your arm in an attempt to pin it to the nearest surface. With another helpless shriek, you tear yourself free, staggering backwards against the metal table, which rolls further away on well-oiled wheels. Your horrified reflection blinks back at you in the shine, and with a sunken heart you realize it’s a dissection table. 
“Mon cher, I must say, you wear disarray so naturally. It’s far too forbidden for my simple eyes to behold.” 
“Why… Why are you doing this?” Your voice is thick with terror, sore from screaming, and you wipe furiously at your glossy eyes. “Please stop… You’ve had your fun. Now… Now let me go. I… I promise I won’t come back here again. Y-You can keep all of the supplies and the canvas. Just let me go…”
A secretive smile stretches slowly across his lips. “Oh, how Fortuna graces me with the benevolent opportunity to admire these special sides of yours. To be able to witness the rawness of pure horror after cornering the most dangerous animal of all…” He pricks his finger on the tip of the blade and adds in a breathy whisper, “Beauté.”
A disgusted shiver claws its way up your spine. You glare at him. “So it’s the thrill you enjoy, yeah? It doesn’t faze you that you’re going to kill an innocent person?!” 
He tilts his head. “Rather than snuffing your light, I intend to give new life to your excellence. In many ways, aren’t I also an artist?” 
“Like hell! You’re crazy!” You take a step back when he advances, moving towards you like a graceful panther stalking its prey. Your grip on the palette knife tightens. “What did I ever do to you to deserve this?” 
“Nothing, mon amour.”
“N-Nothing?”
“Absolutely nothing!” he reaffirms, rather conversationally, and the frustration-riddled tension in your body deflates all at once. 
“But… But I thought—” You shake your head, hopelessly searching for a means of convincing him otherwise in his pursuit, and say, “I thought you… You said you loved me! Can you really hurt someone you love?”
Rook hesitates, his feet shuffling to a halt, and he peers blankly at you, all emotions veiled in a stoic mask. “While it’s true that I will always cherish you in life, I must also come to love you in death. If I’m unable to accept even the rotting and decaying sides of everlasting love that most shy away from, then I’m simply undeserving of my title as a hunter. If I seek the wonders of life, it’s only fair I seek the wonders of death all the same. You understand, don’t you?”
“No! In what world would I ever understand that logic?!” You point the palette knife at him. “You don’t have to kill me. You really don’t have to…”
“I suppose, if I’m to apologize for anything, I should ask that you forgive my greedy behavior. I’m hopelessly infatuated with your work, so allow me to thank you for all that you have shown me tonight. I promise to repay your tenderness tenfold.”
He smiles, stepping aside to allow you passage through the door, and foolishly you take the bait. It’s a run through tar—something you’d only ever experience in a dream, in which outrunning a villain is an impossible task. You make it through the door and out into the hall, and from there your only goal is to mindlessly flee towards safety. Tears obscure your vision, clinging to your lashes like fragile sugar dew. 
You think you see the outline of a faraway door, but perhaps it’s just the illusion brought on by mournful tears. 
You think you’ll make it to freedom, but perhaps it’s just the animalistic desire to survive that ignites your nerves. 
You think you can escape the horrors of encroaching affection, but it slips into your hand, tight and reassuring. 
Tugged into the kitchen-lab, your back collides with Rook’s chest. His grip is bone-crushing, and you don’t hear anything he’s saying—is he humming or waxing poetry?—but you feel the warmth of spreading blood as it soaks through your shirt and stains your artist’s apron. The palette knife slips from your grasp, landing on the floor with a noisy clatter. You peer down at your abdomen, where the cleaver is snugly nestled in your stomach. 
The cleaver. 
It’s in your stomach. 
He’s stabbed you. 
The cleaver. 
It’s in your stomach. 
It doesn’t hurt. Not at first. The shock snuffs the agony. He twists it gingerly, once or twice, before he yanks it out. Sticky strings of torn flesh and blood cling to the blade, connecting it to the injury he’s inflicted. Then you feel the rush of torturous, agonizing pain, and it stings more than anything you've ever experienced before. Red-hot, thick trails of blood trickle through your fingers when you shakily place your hand upon the wound, hoping to stop the flow. Rook clicks his tongue and guides you towards the dissection table, your feet dragging bonelessly upon the floor as you’re led along. You try to fight him, but everything’s so painful, and so all you can manage is a slight shake of the shoulders. Your world spins, and your mind reels as it struggles to process the dangerous gash. 
“After the chase,” he says, lowering you onto the table despite your blubbery protests, “the dog grabs its prey in a sharp-toothed bite and then it kills.” 
“S-Stop… You…” Your fingers curl into shredded skin, and you press down with as much strength as your shuddering body can muster. Blood continues to seep through the cracks between your fingers. “You… You’ll kill me…”
“Well, that’s the point, no?” Rook pets your cheek, fondness glittering in his green eyes. 
You peer up at him through bleary eyes, reaching for his face with a trembling hand. “Please… I’m begging you… It h-hurts… Please…” A helpless sob wracks through your frail form. “Please, Rook…”
For a while—whether an eternity or merely a few seconds, it’s hard to discern—he watches you fade in and out of consciousness, your groans a haunting melody in the discomforting quiet. Eventually, his hand finds yours on the table, limp and twitching, and envelops it in a firm hold.
Blissfully ignorant to your wheezing gasps, he begins to murmur: “‘Out—out are the lights—out all. And, over each quivering form, the curtain, a funeral pall, comes down with the rush of a storm. While the angels, all pallid and wan, uprising, unveiling, affirm that the play is the tragedy, ‘Man.’” He looms over you like a ghastly shadow, lips arranged in a gleeful grin. “‘And its hero, the Conqueror Worm.’”
The time is 11:11 at night when you finally fall into Death’s frigid embrace, never to wake again. 
11:11 - the mystical time at which the universe tugs celestial cotton from its ears and listens to wishes and woes alike. it is not a promise that all wishes will be granted and all woes will be soothed at this hour.
The time is 11:11 in the morning, and sweet, twittering birdsong flutters into the trophy room through a window left ajar. 
The sun has long since risen, casting radiant beams through the thinning slices between the trees. Rook Hunt hums as he works, deft fingers perusing various cosmetics arranged on a metal tray. Eyeshadow is applied to delicate, paper-thin eyelids, each one pinned open in the permanence of preservation. Glass marbles are set into hollow sockets, colored in memory of the eyes that were once attached to a brain via optic nerves. He matches foundation to the skin tone, which works well to hide meticulous stitching and mottled flesh. He’s humming in tune with the birds, the nearby rushing stream, and the swaying foliage caught up in a wind gust, relishing in nature’s symphony. 
“You claimed you’d finally smile after you’ve learned to love,” Rook observes, petting the top of the head, feeling human hair beneath his rough, calloused palm. “And now you beam brighter than the sun outside! Perhaps it’s because of me? You’ve always been so honest with your heart. It’s a facet I most adore.”
His gaze slides towards the unfinished painting propped against the wall, where an antlered man smiles at his viewer, his green eyes filled with a mysterious forest. 
“Have you always thought me to be prey?” Rook pauses, awaiting an answer, and snatches a lipstick from the selection. “Or maybe this is an artist’s ideal vision… Perhaps it’s a fantasy you’ve wished to see or a place you’ve always wanted to visit. Escapism is most magnificent when it’s comforting.” He opens the lipstick and surveys the color with his observant greens. He inhales deeply and catches notes of the cedarwood cabin walls and the floral perfume he spritzed on his dear artiste. “Though it may not be your masterpiece, it’s one that will forever fascinate.”
Red blooms on dry lips that can no longer scream or protest. He cups a cheek stuffed with the finest wood wool, palming an area that was once bruised and broken. The grisly mark has been painted over, and now it is out of sight and, as far as the hunter is concerned, out of mind. As the saying goes, before one can broach beauty, one must suffer some degree of destruction. 
Rook steps down from the ladder and sets the tray of cosmetics on the gold-and-white satin chair. He lifts his hands, fingers forming the borders of a rectangle to frame you in his own portrait. At long last, the headless mount has its head and the pyramid of trophies is complete. There’s a crooked smile sewn into features expertly stitched to finalize beguiling taxidermy. 
With a covert grin, Rook peers through his fingers at your head situated at the very tip of a tragic triangle.
“After all, prey are the prettiest when they’re dyed scarlet.”
366 notes · View notes
elijahslittleprincess · 9 months
Text
A song from my heart
Elijah mikaelson x reader
~You catch Elijah playing piano for you~
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It was late in the afternoon when you came back to the Mikaelson mansion today. You usually never get home later than seven, but today your boss had asked you to stay for extra hours and you accepted. You wondered what Elijah had indulged in while you were absent today. Did Niklaus cause trouble again, or maybe it was Damon and Stephen's time to do something to annoy your original.
You had no way of knowing, but when you opened the front door and came in to hear piano notes in the air, your mind stopped and you breathed shakily. It was honestly quite hard to recall the last time you heard the piano playing in the mansion...Elijah had stopped for almost three years by now and you had to admit missing it quite badly.
To avoid startling him and disrupting his playing, you entered the room as quietly as possible. Slowly, you made your way to the living room and stopped just inside the doorframe. There, you saw his handsome and perfect self seated at the Steinway piano, seemingly unaware of your arrival.
A sweet and happy smile crept on your pinkish lips at the scene, it felt just right to see him like this again and you let your head lay gently against the wooden frame of the large door, just enjoying the view.
Initially, your partner was experimenting with different notes without a clear direction. It was captivating to witness their process of attempting to produce a unified and melodious sound. Despite your curiosity about the final outcome, you refrained from interrupting and potentially hindering their creative process. Instead, you peacefully watched and admired him as he worked. After some time had passed, you came to the realization that your decision had been a wise one, since Elijah start playing the piece he had crafted during your observation for the first time in your presence.
With his eyes closed, he appeared to be playing solely based on the emotions conveyed through his fingertips. The composition he had created was nothing short of a masterpiece - a work of art that left you speechless, with your hand covering your mouth to suppress any sounds that might escape. As you watched Elijah play, a wave of intense emotion washed over you, causing tears to stream down your face. His melodies were so powerful that you found yourself at a loss for words or coherent thoughts. But at that moment, you realized that it didn't matter - what was important was the profound emotional response his music had evoked within you.
You harbor a deep and profound love for your vampire, you love and cherish every single aspect of his being. Elijah was simply the focal point of your universe and you felt an incredible sense of satisfaction being his significant other. As he remains lost in his musical world, you surreptitiously dab away your tears, unable to contain your emotions, and then slowly made your way to him, compelled by an irresistible urge to be closer.
You placed a soft and gentle hand on your husband's shoulder from behind, coming within a centimeter of his body. He tensed up immediately and stopped playing, clearly taken aback by your surprise touch. A small giggle escaped your lips before you kissed his neck tenderly to reassure him.
"It's ok, it's just me Lijah."
Upon hearing your voice, Elijah visibly relaxed, his tense posture softening. The gentle kisses you planted on his neck had a soothing effect on his body, and he slowly pivoted in his piano chair to face you. A sweet smile graced his lips, and his eyes sparkled with adoration and desire as he gazed upon you.
"Well hello sweetheart, what a pleasure to see you finally home."
Elijah spoke with his deep, masculine voice that had the power to make you feel weak in the knees. As he conversed with you, he brought you closer to him and settled you onto his lap, enveloping your waist in his firm embrace.
As he spoke and brought you closer, your face got flustered and you gently touched his cheek with your hand to caress it. A tender and charming smile spread across your face as you gazed at him with great love and loyalty. Elijah was just so extremely attractive and you couldn't resist the urge to kiss him when he looked at you with such intensity. So this is exactly what you did, bringing your lips to his softly to give him a sweet and delicate kiss. The both of you moaned at the contact and he pressed you even more to him feeling the heaviness of your absence all day.
When you both separated from each other after a good reminder of what you both missed so much today, Elijah smirked happily and started playing with your hair, his eyes looking deeply into yours.
"Well, I certainly missed that during the day my perfect princess. "
He said, causing you to chuckle happily, feeling a sense of warmth and pure love knowing that he missed you too. It was just so comforting to know that you weren't alone in this situation.
As you still lay gently on his lap, you decided that since he was playing with your hair, you'd do too. So you moved the hand of yours that was previously on his cheek to his perfectly styled brown hair and stroke your fingers in them, feeling happy and playful to make them a little less perfect.
"I missed it quite badly too Eli. Yet, I'll have to admit that hearing you play piano is something that I missed even more."
You gently conveyed your message to him with a cute smile, followed by a quick kiss on his lips.
Your vampire partner on his side, chuckles lovingly at you, finding your words and ministration terribly sweet and adorable.
"Oh, you do my perfect little princess, well to be totally honest darling, I've dedicated this one for you."
Elijah said with a bright and handsome smile that brought a blush back on your cheeks right away. He kissed both of your cheeks affectionately then before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.
"I thought about you and your beautiful smiles and shining eyes when you look at me. The way that you speak my name and tell me how much you love me my darling. The melody came without an effort. How could it not when I have a muse like you."
Elijah finished with a lovesick expression on and a sweet passionate smile. It was so deep and so intense to hear him say this to you. It felt good and your heart was bursting within your chest. Honestly words were missing you to express how much you loved him and felt good right now. The only thing that actually seemed to be in your mind and that you manage to say to him was a request to heart your song again.
"Can you play it again for me Lijah?"
Your voice was soft and delicate and it sounded almost like a plea when you asked him to play your song again. Your eyes were sparkling like little comets in the sky and you looked deeply into Elijah's hazelnut pupil.
Your husband's hand came to your cheek gently after your request, a huge satisfied and pleased smile on his lips as he heard you. How could he resist any request you had really? You were his pretty little angel and the most important thing in his life, he would do anything from you.
Without a second tough, Elijah gently turned back to face the piano with you still in his arms. After that, he kissed your neck gently and let his head fall on your shoulder to see the piano adequately. When he was finally placed and settled, his fingers grazed on the notes and he started playing your song again. The only difference however this time, was that he seemingly included details and side part that wasn't there the first time around. The music sounded like the most beautiful of symphony, like a coral of angels. You were absolutely sure that it was the most beautiful thing you've ever heard in your entire life.
You closed your eyes and just let yourself be overwhelm by the emotions and feelings it makes you feel. Your heart was beating strongly and your eyes were shedding happy tears again your back pressing on Elijah's chest even more.
After a little while, his fingers on the notes stopped playing and you felt your heart cry a bit at the loss of music again. Yet, you moved your small and delicate fingers in his as he brought them back around you and tighten them around his. You faced each other again now that he wasn't playing anymore and a deep and powerful love showed in your eyes for him. You laid your forehead fall on his gently, a gentle sigh of pure bliss and happiness leaving your lips.
I love you Elijah Mikaelson...
Elijah smiled affectionately back at you and kissed both your cheek, then he proceed to do the same with your lips.
And I love you my perfect princess.
The pair of you stayed against each other like this for a while, just basking in the love and incommensurable joy you felt with bleach other close. Then, with a soft and gentle voice you asked him something while caressing his cheek again.
Would you teach me to play one day?
Elijah looked at you surprise at first by your demand but quickly, the surprise change to a joy and happiness that brought butterflies in your stomach. God he looked so handsome. His smile was the prettiest thing in the whole world.
Of course I will my love, whatever you want. We have all eternity.
And he was right...you both had eternity to love and cherish each other, what you had right now was only the start of a long and perfect millennia together.
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astrojulia · 10 months
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10th house through the signs
ARIES: You possess a strong drive and a go-getter attitude that has propelled you towards great accomplishments. You enjoy exploring new opportunities and experiences, seeking challenges that will push you out of your comfort zone. While you have a desire for recognition and success, you are mindful that patience and hard work are critical to achieving long-term success. You possess a natural assertiveness and a pioneering spirit, qualities that can be an asset in your pursuit of your goals. However, it is important to remain mindful of your impulsiveness and the potential impact it can have on your reputation and relationships, don’t take to much tasks to make them all at once too, it can cause your more stress than success. It is important to take the time to plan, seek out guidance from mentors and experts, and pursue goals that are meaningful and aligned with your values. Your drive and passion make you well-suited for careers in fields such as law enforcement, military, medicine, construction, and design. While you are ambitious and confident in your abilities, it is important to remain humble and open-minded, recognizing that there is always room for growth and learning. When you channel your energy and passion towards worthy goals, you have the potential to achieve great things and leave a positive impact on the world around you.
TAURUS: The Taurus Midheaven represents the importance of material comfort and security in achieving life goals. While societal expectations may play a big role in defining success, you also value hard work, perseverance, and responsibility. It's no surprise that accumulating possessions, especially in a monetary sense, is a big part of determining success for you. But don't worry, you have other values too that are supported by your super-ego. It's important to remember not to get too attached to the trappings of success and to share its benefits with others. With this placement, careers in money matters, like accounting, stocks, bonds, and banking, could be advantageous for you. You also have artistic and creative talents that could bring financial gain or improve your reputation. Once you establish yourself in a profession, you value being in control and are unlikely to switch careers. Work and relaxation alternate in your life, and you possess characteristics like purpose, resistance, tolerance, narcissism, and mistrust. You seek comfort, financial gain, and reliability in your profession, and your charming demeanor and sensuous appearance make you stand out. While you have good friendships, it's important not to rely too heavily on them. Overall, you're known for your capacity to work hard and enjoy life's pleasures. Keep up the good work!
GEMINI: You're in luck because you have many potential paths to success. You have a unique ability to stay objective, which makes it easier for you to define success on your own terms. However, it can be challenging to commit to a single goal since you're fascinated by many things. As a Gemini MC, your perception of success is likely to be conceptual, with a wide field of vision that suits you well in mental professions or those that offer diverse experiences. Stimulation, action, and communication are key to your professional life, and you thrive when recognized for your intelligence. You may even excel in multiple professions simultaneously, particularly those in the communication industry such as writing, publishing, or speaking. Travel may also be a significant part of your work, and sales positions are attractive if you can use your persuasive communication skills to your advantage. You have a dynamic and versatile character with various strong aims and motivations. You're also artistically gifted, and you work well in groups. While you may struggle with self-doubt at times, you're always dedicated and busy with something. Your excellent sense of humor, appreciation for smart jokes, and wit make you appealing to others, especially those who are youthful and brilliant. You're a great communicator, making you an excellent instructor and valuable in the communication field. You likely inherited your intelligence and realism from your opposite-sex parents, which contributes to your sociable nature and many friendships. Monotony and repetition are not your style, as you strive for creativity and diversity in your life and work.
CANCER: Your Midheaven is in the sign opposite its natural position in Cancer, which means that your emotions have a big impact on your decision-making. Your family and their traditions have likely played a significant role in shaping your values and beliefs. If your family embodies the same values as your ego and super-ego, you may not notice much difference in behavior from someone with a Midheaven in Capricorn. Because your super-ego has a strong influence, you may tend to conform to societal norms and avoid conflict. However, when it comes to your personal needs and desires, you may prioritize them over societal expectations. This can sometimes be perceived as unreasonable by others who don't understand your emotions and subconscious motivations. You have a unique perspective and a good understanding of people. You may change your career path a few times, but you're intelligent and take ownership of your professional responsibilities. You value stability and a solid income, and you're successful in service and mercy-oriented professions. You prefer to work in a team and are sensitive to criticism, but you also have a longing for independence. You have a small circle of close friends and prefer quiet conversations over big social events. You have a diplomatic approach to achieving your objectives and try to avoid conflicts with others. Overall, you're a one-of-a-kind and eccentric personality with a sensitive and impressionable nature. It's important to be aware that suppressing your emotions can lead to skin problems, so it's important to take care of your mental health.
LEO: You're likely to have a strong and fiery energy and enjoy seeking control and authority. Sometimes this desire to express yourself and follow the demands of your super-ego can come across as dominant, but it can also provide greater freedom for you to define and express your individuality. You take pride in your work and have a desire to achieve something in life. You may be drawn to careers in education, finance, or even the public spotlight, as you enjoy being acknowledged and praised for your efforts. It's important for you to shine in your career and gain recognition, but you know that it takes hard work to get there. You have a strong sense of self and are self-assured in your abilities, but you also demonstrate subtlety, adaptability, charm, and diplomatic abilities. While you can be powerful and ambitious, excessive autocracy is something to be mindful of. It's okay to work on your own as you prefer to be in control, but it's important to also acknowledge the efforts of those around you. You're responsible for your own decisions and actions, and you have a strong desire to make a difference in the world. Overall, you're an optimistic and noble individual with a strong desire for success and personal growth.
VIRGO: You are likely to be focused on achieving success and professional accomplishments. You have a natural talent for assessing events and paying attention to details, and you work effectively with others to achieve your goals. You have high standards for yourself and may strive for perfection, but it's important to remember to be kind to yourself and not become too critical. In terms of career, you may be drawn to fields that involve communication, such as publishing or the electronics industry. You could also excel in administration and enjoy working in an office setting or a job that requires a lot of travel. It's important for you to have cerebral stimulation and to feel like your work is making a positive impact on society. You have a practical and prudent approach to life, and you enjoy bringing structure and organization to your surroundings. You may be interested in careers that involve teaching, nursing, or the service industry, and you are always looking for opportunities to improve your skills and make a difference.
LIBRA: So, here's the deal: there's this natural square thingy between the Midheaven and the seventh house naturally ruled by Libra, which may not always align perfectly with your super-ego objectives. But hey, that's not the end of the world. If you've got a Libra MC, you've got some serious skills when it comes to using your social prowess to chase those super goals. The only issue arises when your desire to maintain harmony and accommodate others in your professional life starts overshadowing your ego's need for super achievement. If that happens, you might find yourself always bending over backward for others at the expense of your own success, or focusing too much on connections for the sake of it instead of how they can help you reach your goals (and your ego's goals too). Now, to keep you motivated and nurture those ideals of competition, responsibility, and accomplishment ingrained in your super-ego awareness, your super-ego likes to remind you that you should prioritize being courteous to others. And let's be honest, these two messages can sometimes clash in your mind, leaving you with a boatload of guilt. It's like you feel guilty for either using others to get ahead or for letting people walk all over you and missing out on your own shot at success. But fear not, my friend! The key to resolving this inner conflict lies in using your people skills and abilities to bring harmony and balance to any situation. When you merge your interpersonal affinities with your goal of achievement, magic happens. Seriously! You can achieve success, satisfy your ego, and make your super-ego proud all at once. It's like becoming a master at turning your social connections into career opportunities. Your creative flair can come in handy in fields that deal with aesthetics. You might excel in industries like gemstone cutting, jewelry design, interior design, and décor. And let me tell you, in public, you come across as attractive and graceful. It's like you've got that natural charm that draws people in.
SCORPIO: You're seriously determined to achieve your big goals. Like, you've got this intense drive to succeed, and it's all tied up with your subconscious desires and the idea of what success means to you. Getting that success and meeting those super high expectations gives you a sense of emotional security. When your status or chances for success are threatened, you can feel pretty intimidated. It's like you're willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you come out on top and get that super ego approval. Sometimes that might mean using your power and influence to climb the ladder. And if you can't get there yourself, you'll probably try to surround yourself with people who have that power. But hey, here's the cool part - you've got some seriously keen insight and intuition that can help you reach your goals and fulfill those super high expectations. You're a natural-born leader, and you've got some impressive self-control and discipline. Just be careful not to go overboard with your need to control everything to ensure success. You've got this strong desire to be recognized at work, and you're not afraid to dig deep and put in the hard work. I wouldn't be surprised if you're drawn to careers that involve research and resource gathering. And get this, you might find yourself working near or on the sea. Like, maybe you'll own a seafood restaurant on Fisherman's Wharf or dive into the world of underwater applications. You could even find your calling in medicine, working in a lab or researching diseases. Once you've made up your mind about your career path, you're not one to easily change direction. You're driven and focused on achieving your goals. You might even be interested in industries like soda, beer, or chemicals. But watch out for partnerships that could hinder your independence and desire to run your own show. People see you as powerful and strong in public, and you've got this mysterious, passionate, and slightly pessimistic detective vibe going on.
SAGITTARIUS: You have an advantage when it comes to handling ego-driven aspirations and achieving success. The fiery and expansive qualities of Sagittarius, along with the influence of Jupiter, make it easier for you to seek success in unconventional places and expand your horizons in pursuit of your ambitious goals. This naturally increases your chances of finding a path where you can thrive. The energy of Sagittarius also means you'll be enthusiastic and driven to accomplish your objectives. One thing to be mindful of with a Sagittarian Midheaven is setting your goals too high and taking on more than you can handle. Individuals with this placement often have grand visions of achievement and ambitious schemes to reach their goals. While having a vision can be instrumental in achieving success, it's important to strike a balance and not overreach. Taking calculated risks and enjoying the journey toward your goals are key. It's crucial to find satisfaction in your work or the role assigned by your ambitious self. Careers in government service, particularly in diplomacy or consular roles, might pique your interest. You might also be drawn to positions in the private sector, such as representing a large corporation in a foreign country. Financial markets, including credit institutions, stock markets, banks, accounting firms, and insurance companies, could spark your interest. The field of international trade, particularly in the maritime industry, offers opportunities for success. If you put in the effort, the publishing industry can also bring you a certain level of achievement. In essence, as you choose and pursue a specific profession or occupation, you have a favorable influence working in your favor. Your positive mindset toward your goals keeps you motivated, and as long as you work hard, you won't lose yourself in your work. Remember that you don't have to dedicate your entire life to just one job; you have a natural talent for sales, and your friendly and optimistic demeanor shines through. Careers in travel, teaching, writing, public speaking, expansion, or working with people from different cultures might resonate with you.
CAPRICORN: If you have a Capricorn Midheaven, it means you're all about those super-idealistic ego goals and aspirations. This is especially true when your tenth house doesn't have any planets in Aquarius. You're more inclined to chase after and achieve those ego-rewards through your super-ambitious pursuit of accomplishments. We're talking about going for that dream job, aiming for public recognition and status, or making some other socially useful achievement. Now, if you can't quite reach those goals, don't worry, you'll keep striving for them. You might start looking up to someone who embodies success or feeling a twinge of envy towards those who make it big, according to your super-concept of success. Capricorn characteristics are just the ticket for fulfilling those super-objectives. You've got motivation, ambition, a strong work ethic, a practical mindset, and a focus on the material world (being an Earth sign and all). Keep improving your skills, working effectively within organizations, and staying disciplined, and you'll eventually reach those objectives. Even if you don't quite hit the jackpot of success and prestige, at least you can take pride in knowing that you were responsible and did what you were supposed to do. This gig is perfect for starting and growing a successful business, but brace yourself for lots of hard work and patience. Your organizational skills and management prowess will help you climb the ladder to executive positions. You might find yourself thriving in the manufacturing industry, especially in producing everyday goods that people need. Whether you're working in the office or getting your hands dirty on the ground, you'll have various responsibilities in the mining business. Selling land and real estate can be a lucrative venture for you, and your perseverance will give you an edge and possibly set you up to start your own business. You approach things slowly, steadily, and with caution, giving off an air of determination and practicality. Success is likely to come later in life after years of hard work and gradual progress.
AQUARIUS: When it comes to this house, the super-ego might face its biggest challenge in dominating the psyche, especially with a Uranus-ruled Aquarian Midheaven. But hey, here's the thing, you might be able to find a way to balance the self with the ego and embrace those individualistic tendencies of Aquarius. Even if you manage that, there's still a chance of some conflict between your ego and super-ego. The super-ego's rules and directives can really rub you the wrong way with your Aquarian Midheaven. You just want to be free, you know? Free from all those rigid rules and predetermined goals that the super-ego has set for you. But here's the twist, even though you associate "freedom" with "success," the super-ego still plays a role in motivating you to achieve. You might see yourself as someone who's liberated from the traditional careers and organizations that hold others captive, as you pursue your own ambitions, doing things independently and even breaking a few rules along the way. You're more likely than most to find success on unconventional paths. Even if you outwardly conform, your approach to achieving your goals and contributing to an organization is likely to be innovative and out-of-the-box. In any job or company, you're all about seeking maximum autonomy for yourself. It could mean following the organization's rules (both written and unwritten) in order to climb up the ladder where you're above the rules or at least not accountable to others. You've got that visionary spirit, always drawn to careers or professions at the forefront of technology or finding new ways to do old things. Your interests are wide-ranging, from aircraft and computer technology to electronics and beyond—anything that tests your mental abilities. You might find fulfillment in writing, architectural design, or running a new-age bookstore. Whatever path you choose, one thing's for sure: it's gonna be unconventional and unpredictable. In your career, you bring a unique approach to the table, always doing things differently. You're a big-picture thinker, always planning for the long run and knowing exactly what you want right from the start. And here's a fun fact: despite feeling a bit uncomfortable, you actually work well in a group or in front of a crowd. Deep down, you'd rather have your work noticed than yourself.
PISCES: The sextile between Pisces and the natural Midheaven (Capricorn) offers opportunities, but it can also pose challenges for those with a Pisces Midheaven. Your ambition is fueled by a desire to succeed in various areas, but you may struggle with the discipline and structure necessary to actually achieve your goals. As a result, you might have a general desire to follow societal expectations, but lack the specific direction and motivation to take action and accomplish what you want. With so many different goals to consider, you may find yourself not focusing on any one of them in particular. This can lead to a lack of clarity regarding your life's path, vague thoughts that you should be doing something, or high levels of anxiety about success or failure. Others may perceive you as indifferent, disorganized, or unsure about where you want to go in life. However, with proper guidance and enough structure and discipline, both internally and externally, you can make significant progress and achieve success. Trusting your instincts will often guide you on the right path to success. Your natural inclination towards wholeness allows you to understand the hopes and aspirations of others, making you a unifier. This ability can help motivate others while also working towards your own objectives. You have a strong affinity for water, which may inspire you to pursue a career in marine biology, fisheries, or managing a maritime company that covers various aspects, from tugboats to salvage operations. Careers in healthcare, particularly those involving patient services like nursing, may also resonate with you. You are inclined towards occupations that are off the beaten path, where you can work alone or in small settings. Examples include working in prisons, hospitals, reformatories, or sanatoriums. You may develop strong emotional connections with the people around you, as they share similar experiences, or you may become deeply attached to your chosen field and spend a significant amount of time in it.
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thecelestialperiwinkle · 10 months
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ᰋ  ׅ࣪   ꒰  tarot x zodiac signs ♡︎ a tarot reader predicting what each zodiac should expect before june ends  ꒱  
sun, moon and ascendant or significant signs on your birthchart is worked for this reading.
aries - seven of pentacles.
you can anticipate working on a project primarily for your own benefit, whether it's at work or in your relationships with others. you should take advantage of this opportunity to advance or work on your skills. also, pay attention to every little thing that happens to you this month because it might tell you what you're manifesting for. if you're applying for a job, they might be about to call you back. i do see this person getting a new job or starting a business on their own this month. your hard work might get you something in return.
taurus - ten of swords.
this month, you might feel really worn out. you might also discover that a someone's you've really trusted for a very long time is stabbing you in the back or talking trash about you. there is also a bad chance that someone will look down on you this month, but whatever the reason, you might end up feeling extremely worn out before the month is over. you were second-guessing yourself a great and bad deals during the current month. self-hatred is a possibility.
gemini - three of wands.
you might come to some brand-new realizations, such as continuing an old self-improvement project, making new progress toward your own self-improvement, or getting over toxic relationships and habits. this month is about moving on from the past and taking a new pathway. while, if you are manifesting someone or something. i do see that it has already manifested with this card, and your manifestation is successful - you are about to see the result.
cancer - seven of swords.
just a word of caution: don't be decisive. additionally, an air sign might attempt to influence you for their own personal advantage because, from what i can tell, you might have a positive public image, and they don't really like that at all. you have cunning adversaries all around you. this month, a lot of people have been spying on you, even on social media. (if you have a sizable and big following platforms, of course.)
leo - the chariot.
you may desire to travel or atleast have a vacation before this month ends. however, you want to focus on your goals whether it's career or study's. you will gain some attention. confidence and self-discipline is likely to workout higher. a possible rival is about to pop up.
virgo - justice.
all of our deeds have consequences whether they're good or bad - karma always kicks in. you are about to get something of what you've done but this more likely in a positive one. it's for the better. the (darkest) truth will finally come up to show themselves up. it will have an affect on you somehow and for the people around you. a new life lessons is a heading for you. be responsible for giving an opinion.
libra - five of wands.
an exciting challenge is heading up for you - this is about working on a team. if so, it's time fore you to show your real skills. it's your time to shine. you are about to get an opportunity to grow from this challenge. if you are an athlete you maybe about to get on a friendly competition - probably a martial arts. if you aren't, avoid playing gambling because you might get lost of control.
scorpio - seven of cups.
the heaven and universe will give you a lot of positive options. whether which one you are going to choose for, in the end it still gonna makes you happy. as well, pay attention to your dreams that seems vivid they're giving hints for you. messy life is about to happen most likely schedules. you will be busy and tired for this month to the point you wanted to escape the reality and just sleep and relax all day.
sagittarius - the sun.
you maybe dreaming a lot of your childhood lately this is because you maybe missed something or someone from your childhood that makes you happy. it can be grandparents, an old house or childhood friendships. you were dreaming an unknown person from your dreams this can be a soulmate. luck will surround you this month - just stay positive. someone's baby or a baby from a womb (family member or yourself) is happy to see and meet you sooner. you will get recognize because of your talents don't think that they're worthless and kitsch.
capricorn - three of pentacles.
you will meet someone whom you think is well-known person. you will be inspired to them to learn more about your skills and knowledge. it's about following your dreams. you will confess or someone's else might confess their feelings for you. if you are asking about job, you will get hired and will be under training or a promotion. your hardwork is gonna be recognize and rewarded.
aquarius - queen of wands.
you spent most of your days with nature currently and for the rest of the month. your mother or a mother figure will play important part for you this month. they can be a new friend and friendly person but somehow get jealous over someone and something this is because of their dominant ego but they're willing to stay on side always.
pisces - death.
a new beginning is about to start, you maybe sees a lot of angel numbers which is define and telling you a new start is about to come. you will cut-offs old habits that will bring a life changing ways for you. a blessings in disguise may happen. a bitter trials is exactly lying beneath of a probable gift.
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leonaquitaine · 6 months
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On the subject of generative AI
Let me start with an apology for deviating from the usual content, and for the wall of text ahead of you. Hopefully, it'll be informative, instructive, and thought-provoking. A couple days ago I released a hastily put-together preset collection as an experiment in 3 aspects of ReShade and virtual photography: MultiLUT to provide a fast, consistent tone to the rendered image, StageDepth for layered textures at different distances, and tone-matching (something that I discussed recently).
For the frames themselves, I used generative AI to create mood boards and provide the visual elements that I later post-processed to create the transparent layers, and worked on creating cohesive LUTs to match the overall tone. As a result, some expressed disappointment and disgust. So let's talk about it.
The concerns of anti-AI groups are significant and must not be overlooked. Fear, which is often justified, serves as a palpable common denominator. While technology is involved, my opinion is that our main concern should be on how companies could misuse it and exclude those most directly affected by decision-making processes.
Throughout history, concerns about technological disruption have been recurring themes, as I can attest from personal experience. Every innovation wave, from typewriters to microcomputers to the shift from analog to digital photography, caused worries about job security and creative control. Astonishingly, even the concept of “Control+Z” (undo) in digital art once drew criticism, with some artists lamenting, “Now you can’t own your mistakes.” Yet, despite initial misgivings and hurdles, these technological advancements have ultimately democratized creative tools, facilitating the widespread adoption of digital photography and design, among other fields.
The history of technology’s disruptive impact is paralleled by its evolution into a democratizing force. Take, for instance, the personal computer: a once-tremendous disruptor that now resides in our pockets, bags, and homes. These devices have empowered modern-day professionals to participate in a global economy and transformed the way we conduct business, pursue education, access entertainment, and communicate with one another.
Labor resistance to technological change has often culminated in defeat. An illustrative example brought up in this NYT article unfolded in 1986 when Rupert Murdoch relocated newspaper production from Fleet Street to a modern facility, leading to the abrupt dismissal of 6,000 workers. Instead of negotiating a gradual transition with worker support, the union’s absolute resistance to the technological change resulted in a loss with no compensation, underscoring the importance of strategic adaptation.
Surprisingly, the Writers Guild of America (W.G.A.) took a different approach when confronted with AI tools like ChatGPT. Rather than seeking an outright ban, they aimed to ensure that if AI was used to enhance writers’ productivity or quality, then guild members would receive a fair share of the benefits. Their efforts bore fruit, providing a promising model for other professional associations.
The crucial insight from these historical instances is that a thorough understanding of technology and strategic action can empower professionals to shape their future. In the current context, addressing AI-related concerns necessitates embracing knowledge, dispelling unwarranted fears, and arriving at negotiation tables equipped with informed decisions.
It's essential to develop and use AI in a responsible and ethical manner; developing safeguards against potential harm is necessary. It is important to have open and transparent conversations about the potential benefits and risks of AI.
Involving workers and other stakeholders in the decision-making process around AI development and deployment is a way to do this. The goal is to make sure AI benefits everyone and not just a chosen few.
While advocates for an outright ban on AI may have the best interests of fellow creatives in mind, unity and informed collaboration among those affected hold the key to ensuring a meaningful future where professionals are fairly compensated for their work. By excluding themselves from the discussion and ostracizing others who share most of their values and goals, they end up weakening chances of meaningful change; we need to understand the technology, its possibilities, and how it can be steered toward benefitting those they source from. And that involves practical experimentation, too. Carl Sagan, in his book 'The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark', said:
"I have a foreboding […] when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what's true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness."
In a more personal tone, I'm proud to be married to a wonderful woman - an artist who has her physical artwork in all 50 US states, and several pieces sold around the world. For the last few years she has been studying and adapting her knowledge from analog to digital art, a fact that deeply inspired me to translate real photography practices to the virtual world of Eorzea. In the last months, she has been digging deep into generative AI in order to understand not only how it'll impact her professional life, but also how it can merge with her knowledge so it can enrich and benefit her art; this effort gives her the necessary clarity to voice her concerns, make her own choices and set her own agenda. I wish more people could see how useful her willingness and courage to dive into new technologies in order to understand their impact could be to help shape their own futures.
By comprehending AI and adopting a collective approach, we can transform the current challenges into opportunities. The democratization and responsible utilization of AI can herald a brighter future, where technology becomes a tool for empowerment and unity prevails over division. And now, let's go back to posting about pretty things.
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freyatarotreadings8 · 6 months
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OCTOBER 2023 | PAC
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Hello, Pile 1! In October you may be on a crossroad. You will need to make significant choices/decisions regarding personal relationships. (any bonds you share with others, but especially romantic). Some of you may start a new relationship, but majority may say "Goodbye" to a toxic person, who stops you from personal growth and so many other positive things. That's why there may be some disagreements or conflicts. You may be fed up with it. So, you may need to walk away from conflicts that aren't win-win for you or where there's no clear resolution in sight. Don't waste your energy and time by trying to change someone's decision or vision. It's better to reflect on your actions and intentions, ensuring they align with who you want to be. Deep introspections are coming your way. You may spend time alone, delving into your thoughts, feelings and experiences. It's a time for seeking wisdom, answers and understanding. You may get clarity via psy consultations, coaching, personal tarot readings (I'll be glad to help you!), deep meditations, books about spirituality, self-awareness. Then you may become a source of guidance and light for others, offering wisdom or clarity in their moments of darkness. Personal readings are available! Donations - https://destream.net/live/FreyaTarot/donate 🧚🏻
Hello, Pile 2! October may be a time for you to assess the progress you've made in certain areas of your life (work, finances or personal projects). Take a moment to reflect on what you've planted and nurtured thus far. It may be an excellent time to manage your finances (budgeting, investing) or finding ways to increase your income. Remember that your efforts will eventually bear fruit. You may want to spend more time outdoors, do gardening or any activity that helps you connect with the earth. You also may buy some crystals that can clean your personal energy and energy of your house. Citrine can bring luck and abundance into your life. Talking about your home, you may have a focus on home, family and daily responsibilities. You will have a chance to improve your relationships with your mom. Clear communication is essential during negotiations, daily interactions. Additionally, you may need to make decisions based on logic rather than emotions. . You also may consult/interact with someone who smart, logical and authoritative. Upholding your principles, being truthful will be highlighted. Personal readings are available! Donations - https://destream.net/live/FreyaTarot/donate 🧚🏻
Hello, Pile 2! October might present unexpected emotional news or insights. It may come in a form of a new romantic interest, a rekindling of feelings or a fresh creative inspiration. Some of you may meet a potential partner during a trip, travel. Listen to your intuitive side. Pay attention to your dreams, your emotions and the subtle signs around you. A great month to do something artistic or creative, expressing your innermost feelings through art. October will be filled with spontaneous adventures or unexpected journeys, travels (some of you may even move somewhere else or have contact with foreigners). You'll be encouraged to chase after what sets your heart ablaze. Take bold steps or make significant moves in areas that you're passionate about. Expect a significant forward thrust. You may be called to pursue your goals with heightened energy and direction. Moreover, you may be managing conflicts or trying to bring harmony to contrasting viewpoints.
Personal readings are available! Donations - https://destream.net/live/FreyaTarot/donate 🧚🏻
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plusvanity · 1 year
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Alright so, I wouldn't have finished this so soon but some of you showed interest in my silly ramblings sooooo... here are some of my headcanons for Larry's 'aloof' personality.
Asperger Syndrome
-Since he was a small child, there were a few behavioral differences between him and the rest of the children.
He never really knew how to properly communicate. That might be very common in children BUT he literally had struggles trying to explain anything. Sentences like: 'I want that' or 'can I have that?' were never on his tongue and lots of time he'd get upset at himself/ people around him for not being able to read his mind and take care of his demands. This kind of behavior crosses a bit into 'anti-social' tenancies. (Hard time to communicate, preferred playing alone, very poor social skills, etc) Shortly, his 'forever-upset' personality resulted in children excluding/ isolating him from their games and plays.
-Larry didn't know why nobody wanted to play with him, why everybody avoided him like plague and gave him dubious looks. Throughout his kindergarten and early-school years he never made friends, never had any significant relationships except with his parents.
Why did nobody see these signs and act accordingly?
We're in the late 90's. There's no such thing as ‘diagnosing kids with mental illness’ unless they've got some kind of schizophrenia that really makes them act out. Parents had little to no information about mental health, let alone autism and how it manifests in children. Rough times but that's how they were.
-Growing up lonely, Larry found his refuge in drawing and writing silly little cartoon stories. Solo hobbies are extremely common in the autistic spectrum, especially when they come in package with die-hard fixations/ obsessions.
-Sensorial sensibility: he can’t stand bright lights in his basement. That’s why he always keeps a small desk lamp on and nothing else to see around him.
-In school, he did poorly. The motto was: it’s either you’re the only one who gets it and nobody else does OR everybody else gets it and you’re the only one who doesn’t. No way in between these two.
-The internal struggle of 'Why am I like this? Why do they hate me? What's wrong with me?' never left his brain. Now, communication was absolutely required no matter if he liked it or not. That's school, you're supposed to answer stuff, use your brains to solve problems and get through the day.
-Firstly, he did what his autistic mind told him to do.. he went fully fucking honest and blunt. With every occasion when he got asked about something, he innocently pointed out everything that bothered him/ seemed wrong or annoying without any fucking filter whatsoever. Needless to say, his true-nature approach didn’t escape punishment. His mother was called, the teachers complained that he’s ‘too mean and arrogant’ , ‘never focused’ , ‘too lazy and selfish’ etc. Everything while Larry looked like a fucking deer in the highlights telling his mom that he didn't do nothing wrong.
-When he finally understood that ‘being honest’ wasn't the key for normal human-communication, that's when his mind began searching for other ways to go by.
-Masking-
Masking was the second option.
-He watched, heard, studied, learned and taught himself the Fine Arts of mimicking normal human response in social situations. Now, that's how he mostly made it work.
-As a chill but tragically misunderstood child, he had finally learned how to make friends. It started with Ash and Maple (alternative music and general outcasts) and later in middle-school, Ash presented him to Todd. (Now, I'd rant about Rob and their 'brother from another mother' dynamic and friendship but that's for another long post if any of you are interested)
-When his father abruptly disappeared from the family frame, it just.... made everything ten thousand times worse for Larry (This is gonna be another post if you're interested)
-All in all, now with a select group of friends he’s still aloof, weird, too loud or too quiet sometimes BUT at least he’s not alone and miserable anymore.
Normally, he's a laid back dude, a stoner (autism and substance abuse is another headache of a post..) a metalhead and maybe just a little delinquent sometimes after 8 pm because of teenage rebellion and all that stuff.
-His ‘masking act’ falls sometimes when he talks about painting, video games, music and basically everything that interests him. Asperger in boys is a lot different than in girls. Girls tend to keep their ‘masking act’ better than boys as boys often don't realize when they slip and start talking miles and miles about their favorite hobbies/ subjects without noticing if the person they're talking to completely loses their interest or gets angry for being talked over and interrupted all the time.
His friends find him a bit annoying at times cause… fuck, who like being talked over? but they’re so used to him that it’s just common and gets easily forgotten.
-When the sudden chronic-insomnia hit him, the fatigue and lethargy didn't go unnoticed by Lisa. Finally, she managed to drag him to a doctor that surprisingly or not, completely missed to diagnose him with autism. The shrink blamed his insomnia on weed (another rant here) and …. ADHD?. Larry took the classic DSM-4 test (oh boy, gotta love the 90′s..) it came back negative on symptoms, confirming everybody that he didn't have ADHD. (Now, I know that the two behavioral illnesses often came in package but with Larry it wasn't the case) After that, nobody did anything.
-Now, he lives freely his teenage years hanging out with Sal, regularly smoking weed, getting deeply offended by the un-true belief that he might have ADHD, still trying to figure out what's actually wrong with him that no shrink or DSM could tell and ultimately enjoying his hobbies and little shenanigans him and his best amigo do.
-The ‘masking act’ has long become an automatic behavior, an unconscious switch for normal social situations so, now he’s most definitely not aware that he’s doing it. 
Sal highly suspects him of being autistic due to the fact that he had far more contacts with doctors and psychiatrists in his entire life that he knows VERY WELL the red flags or autistic behaviors. That and because of their first interaction when Larry was like ‘Sup, you like metal? You GOTTA like metal!’ it screams autism from a fucking mile.
This post is embarrassingly LONG and useless.. and I'll shut the fuck up now for real. BUT If anyone feels like asking questions or going deeper down this rabbit hole, feel free to text me <3 as I love waffling about psychology and pretty much anything lol.
Sorry for my bad English, I did my best in trying to explain all that's written above. These are just some of my little silly headcanons and possibly?? more in-depth explanations for some of the things that go on in my SF fanfic.
Ko-fi l  DeviantArt
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