#It doesn't matter if *i* like it bc *i*'m not supposed to like it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hoshigray · 10 months

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I WANT TOJI TO GUIDE ME (like literally almost teach me) HOW TO GIVE HIM HEAD PLZZZZ

Ohhhh, I don't know how tf I'm gonna write this, but here we go!! Hope I did alright on this one hehehe~ *sweats nervously*

Cw: Toji x fem!reader - oral (m! receiving) - it starts off cute but gets dirty, so minors DNI - reader admiring Toji's dick lol - face+throat-fucking (Toji goes at a reasonable pace) - pet names (angel, baby, cutie, sweetie, mama) - heavily detailed descriptions of a blowjob - praise - Toji laughing at you asking him to help bc what are boyfriends for, but you get a laugh out of it too - some humor. Wc: 2.8k

"You okay, kid?"

"Hmm?"

"You look lost in thought about somethin'."

"I do?" He lifts a brow and nods at you. "Oh, it's nothing, Toji, honest." The man looks at you for a few seconds as if he doesn't believe your answer, yet he goes back to watching the television, and the big hand on your shoulder brings you closer to him.

It's a lazy Sunday afternoon, and you and Toji are watching your favorite sitcom on the couch in your living room. But the show wasn't capturing your attention like it usually does. Instead, your mind wandered to other matters. Other...explicit matters.

How explicit? The two of you have been together for a long while now, and you can honestly say things have been going great. For him to be your first serious relationship — plus him being older and more mature than you — it's nice to know that things have been going way smoother than you'd thought in the beginning.

Although things may seem fine, something has been clouding your head recently. This is where explicit matters come into the conversation.

Through all this time together, it just occurred to you that you haven't given Toji head. Scratch that: you've NEVER given a blowjob, period.

It's always been the other way around. Not that you're complaining, because your boyfriend seems to enjoy eating you out. And he's actually good at it! Like, really good at it. Just reminiscing all the moments he's had you turn into jelly with just his scarred lips and relentless tongue is enough to make you go dizzy.

It's a pleasure how attentive he is to you during sex. And you appreciate that he cares for you in that regard...yet you can't help but feel like you're not a good partner in bed with your lack of reciprocity.

And it's not like you don't want to give him head. Because trust, you would've done so already! The real problem is that...you don't know how.

You've watched videos and read articles on how to do it, even practicing on a banana (per your friend's advice). Nevertheless, whenever you wish to initiate; or the opportunity arises, you just freeze on the spot and force yourself to forget about it. It's as if researching and amping yourself up is way easier than the execution.

Though, you can't just let your man be the only person doing the work — sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both parties, damn it! And you're gonna push yourself to have his dick in your mouth one way or the fucking other! But......where the hell do I start!!??

You release a defeated sigh, bringing your hand up to massage your forehead from the endless banter in your brain. And Toji watches you from his peripheral, his brows drawing downward at your display of frustration. "Alright," his gruff voice snaps you back to him as he lowers the TV volume. "What's goin' on in your lil' head, baby?"

You blink at his question. "Hmm? What do you—"

"Aht aht, don't do that with me." His jade eyes harden, and you hold back from finishing whatever you were going to say. "Somethin's wrong, so tell me. I'm over here watchin' this stupid show that you dragged me on to, and you're not even paying attention."

"Hey! It is not stupid," you counterargue, and use his comment to dissuade him from the topic. "You were very invested last week when my favorite character punched the guy she likes for stabbing her in the back! So who are you to—"

"Y/n." It didn't work. Your name was thrown at you with such seriousness that there was no use in trying to distract him. "Tell me what's goin' on. If somethin' is bothering you, don't be scared to come to me about it." He says it sternly, yet he's still gentle with his delivery.

"Toji..." You can only call him by name before he leans forward to kiss your forehead, and it almost melts all your worries away.

"Tell me."

The two of you look at each other for mere seconds, you searching for any sign of uncertainty before confessing your thoughts to him. You sigh once more and lean onto Toji, his hand rubbing on your shoulder — a silent gesture of him giving you all the time you need before confiding with him.

You told him, "Don't laugh, okay?"

He scoffs. "Can't make promises I can't keep, kid." His smile manifests when you shake your head at his shenanigans. "I won't laugh, angel."

When he uses the pet name on you, it seals the deal. It's now or never.

"I was just thinking that...I might need your help with something."

A brow is lifted. "With what?"

"Umm, it's..." Your fingers find each other to fiddle with to keep you busy from the awkward tension. "It's for......y-you know—"

"I don't know."

"I-ahem-I want," you can only gulp to ease the uncomfortable bob in your throat. ".........Iwannagiveyouablowjob."

No words. No movements. Nothing. Only the noise from the TV gives a sense of life to the silence following your confession. Even the big hand on your shoulder chose to remain completely still. And you can feel the slight quiver of your lips start to come to fruition.

Nothing happens until you feel a jolt on the shoulder you're resting on. Your face blooms hot, and your lips can't fight the uncomfortable twinge. Oh, this motherfucker is about to laugh.

"Is...Is that—ahem," A tiny gust of wind exits through his nostrils, trying to extinguish the beginning of a chortle. "Is that what was botherin' you this entire time?"

Now your ears get hot, and all you can think about is how you'll dig a nice big hole for yourself to crawl in later. God, why me??!

"W-Well, I mean, I notice how you're always doing it on me," another jolt from the older man. "And...I just feel like I'm not doing my part." He lifts his hand from your shoulder and rests it on his face. Fits of chuckles silently enter the air. "But I don't know how to....do that kinda stuff. So, I was just wondering—" He starts smacking his thigh, and with the twitch of your eyebrow, you've had enough. "Toji, I swear to Christ, if you don't fucking stop—"

And with that, the floodgates opened. The laughs he was doing a terrible job suppressing wheezed out, his hand covering his eyes while the shit-eating grin was present with laughter seeping out his system. You cover your face with your hands, shielding away from the embarrassment and not letting him hear giggles of your own.

"Oh shit, c'mere ya damn cutie." Toji pulls you in with both arms, caging you so he can place a kiss on your temple. "Pfft, kid, I'm not laughing at you. But goddamn, you looked so fuckin' stressed fr' no reason."

"But it is a reason!" You chuckle under your hands, only prompting your boyfriend to laugh harder. Once he calms down, you explain yourself further. "Toji, I'm serious. We've been together for this long, and it's always been me getting eaten out. I just think it's unfair that I get to feel good and you don't, ya know?"

He snickers. "I'm always feelin' good when I fuck the shit out of you."

"You KNOW that's not the same thing!!" Toji barks a laugh from you yelling at him, and you can't take this anymore. Removing yourself from him, you get up from the couch before you sink further into the internal pool of regret. "Just forget it. This conversation never happened...I'll just go to sleep." And hopefully, die of suffocation from my pillow.

However, before you could step toward your bedroom, Toji quickly caught your wrist. You reluctantly turn to see him looking at you with a playful smirk and soft hooded emerald eyes. "Not so fast there, sweetie." His hand slides down to fully grasp your hand, engulfing it with his size. "Ya know, you're a real cutie when worryin' about me. But don't go thinking you're not making me feel good, because you do with what you got. I woulda found someone else if you didn't." You briefly glare at him, though you know he has a point.

"Yeah, I know. But I want to do more. You always take good care of me, so...I wanna do the same for you." And Toji knows you're serious about this. It doesn't matter if you can't look directly at him because of your bashfulness; your words are sincere. God, you looked so cute it drove him crazy.

He sighs quietly with a smirk, his thumb making circles on the back of your palm. "Well, if you're really sure about putting y'r mouth on my dick," and before you could fully process his words, the older man spreads his legs for your eyes to observe. And the first thing that corrupts your vision is the outline of his erect cock, the tent prominent through his dark sweatpants. "Looks like ya got yourself a lesson. Up for it?"

You gawk at his erection for three extra seconds before you look at your boyfriend and give him a nod for confirmation. Seems like your plans of suffocation and dying in a hole have been postponed to another day.

Toji grins hard, his teeth peeking through under his scar, and then he points to the floor with his chin. As instructed, you kneel between his legs.

He pulls down the waistband of his sweatpants, freeing his cock from the clothed prison for you. And you're in awe with the sight before you. Of course, you've known his girth to be immense. You've had the damn thing inside you, for God's sake. But now, seeing his length so close, it's hard to believe you had him before. You can take note of every dent and vein of his shaft, how they structure all the way down to the base, and the pinkish-red color of the tip. It all overwhelms you and makes you second-guess what you're about to do...and the throbbing sensation down south flourishes.

"Like what ya see down there, angel?" The heat on your face worsens when you glance up and see Toji sneering down at you, and a hand comes down to massage your cheeks. "Try lickin' it first."

You gulp before following his suggestion, opening your mouth for your tongue to flick on the frenulum of his cock. You can hear him moan from the action, so you proceed and lap around the head of his cock until you feel adventurous enough to take his glans in your mouth. Toji groans from the wet walls of your mouth, and your teeth brushing against his glans makes his body jerk. "Hmmm, be careful with y'r teeth, baby. Relax that jaw and puff those cheeks a bit fr' me."

His comments are taken wholeheartedly, making sure everything goes right for him. Your cheeks go hollow for you to suck his cockhead and take in a few more of his length, his hums of pleasure egging you on. It goes well until the tip hits your uvula, resulting in your gag reflex. And Toji is quick to gently pull you from him, your saliva coating his dick.

"Woah there, sweetie. Don't forget to breathe." He coaxes while you cough. Your eyes start to water as you gasp for air to even your breathing. "We can stop now, don't want you chokin' on— Aisssh!!."

He's unable to finish his sentence when your hand strokes his cock, paired with kisses to the underside of his shaft. "No, I can keep going." You look at him with half-lidded eyes, having the man twinge his lips upward.

"Alright, then we're gonna go slow, okay? No rush." He aligns his cock to your lips, waiting for re-entry. "I'll push, and you breathe."

You give him a nod to signal you're ready, and your mouth agape to take in his returning limb. Toji brings your head in while you remind yourself to breathe, but your body jolts when you feel the tip come almost close to your uvula again. "Relax, mama, relax. Keep taking deep breaths fr' me." He coos at you, and you do as he says. Breathe in, breathe out. Once you slowly move, Toji aids you by gently pushing the back of your head toward him. And a wave of astonishment and relief hits you when you manage to have his dick hit the back of your throat.

"There ya go, cutie." He smirks at you, aware of your tiny display of giddiness. "Now, try goin' at your own pace."

With a few bobs up and down, slowly but surely, you get used to having Toji's cock in your oral cavity, going at your own tempo and enjoying yourself with this. Your movements are filled with confidence, and you whimper every time you try to go as far as you can but not too crazy.

And Toji loves every second of it. Your moans vibrate the walls around his cock, and it turns him on even more when he peers down to see you suck on him so deliciously. Spit covers your lips the more you take him in your mouth, and he groans when he feels your hands stroking him and kneading his balls (something you've learned to do from the articles you've read). "So good...Hmmph! So fucking good..." It's been a long time since Toji's been given a blowjob, and it feels so good to have you — his sweet thing — do it for him.

But then a thought pops into his mind, and the pleasure in his body churns into a different path of want and need. "Sweetie." Your eyes flutter up at him when he calls you, stopping midway through. "Wanna go a lil' further than this?" It takes a moment for you to register, but you give a curt nod with a hum on his dick, which he can only assume is a "yes."

"I'm gonna stand up, okay? So keep taking deep breaths and follow my lead." You don't answer, only gaze at him as you mentally prepare yourself. Toji rests a hand at the rear of your head as he gets up from the couch, keeping you still on his cock in hopes you don't choke. Now he's standing upright, and his sweatpants slide down to his sturdy thighs. He places both his hands on each side of your head. "I'm gonna start moving slowly, 'kay baby?"

And so he does, unhurriedly pushing his shaft into you, and your hands find purchase on his thighs as he does so. His dick that once stopped at the back of your throat eventually finds its way deeper within, and you're senses are clouded with his smell when your nose and mouth meet his pelvis. It all feels so overwhelming that tears start to form.

Toji lets you adjust to all of him for a while, grinding his hips on your lips to fully accommodate his whole girth, prompting more muffled mewls from you. He ruts his hips at your face when he notes your steady breathing. Gradually, every inch of his cock sinks into your mouth. Your head starts to pound as you enter a haze.

The pace of his thrusts eventually goes faster and faster by the minute, and the tears finally come down with every jab to your throat. Saliva runs down your chin with the smack of his balls, the head bullying your insides with the erratic rhythm. Your nails form scratch marks on his thighs from all the stimulation you're going through, but you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't feel so fucking good. Having your boyfriend's pelvis smack on your face on par with the sounds of you sucking him off felt like fire to your eardrums. So hot but so electrifying the more you indulge yourself.

As for the older man fucking the hell out of your face? Oh, how he missed this. It's been so long since he stuck his dick on such a pretty mouth. And your throat's tight, velvety walls have him rutting for more. He knew this would make his thirst return, and now he was sure an addiction would form from this. But right now, he can feel the surge of his orgasm arise, and his brows crease with a guttural groan as he thrusts into your face with harsh motions.

"Shit, ahhhhh shit, shit," It's so close, almost there. "Gonna cum, mama, gonna—Mmmm! Haaah, oh fuck, oh fuckin' Christ!" Through his moans of pleasure, Toji releases his load down your throat. And you're in no other position than to just take it, whimpering blissfully onto his length as he gives you a few more ruts to your face.

When he's done experiencing his ecstatic high, the older man withdraws himself from you. Your throat and mouth become empty except for his essence that you swallow. Strands of spit and come connect your wet face to him for a crude yet intimate moment before they break out.

He pulls up his sweatpants and drops down to wipe your pretty face with his hand. "So? Was I a good teacher?"

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munsster · 2 years

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Can I request Billy x reader? Just soft moments with him. Like he goes to their house in the middle of the night with cuts n bruises and reader's like "let me patch that up for you. Can't have your pretty face getting ruined" or sum. And he's super (kinda...?) Into them bc they never ask or pry. And they treat him so gently and with such love he's never experienced before? 🥺🤲🏻

thick-skulled

A/N: i’m melting I’M THROWING A TANTRUM! he deserves so so much

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x GN!Reader

Summary: Billy’s not sure he’s ever felt the way he does around you. 1.3k words.

Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, mild gore/a few scrapes, mutual pining,

If Billy's shallow breathing is any indication of his dignity, he's sure you're the last person who wants to see him considering the tissue blooming from his nostril and the dried crest of blood above his brow and the gash along his tense jaw. He should not have come to you. He wouldn't have. But in the single moment of clarity he's had all night, he found you're probably the only person who'd let him in.

And you did it so gracefully, all the sweetness warm at your honeyed fingertips, instinctual in the path to your bathroom. He had laughed at the shag toilet cover before flattening it for the next twenty minutes.

"Careful 'bout tilting your head back," you coo, hips squared against the porcelain counter, wringing a damp rag in your winding palms. And he groans, dropping chin to chest. Trying not to look at you because he knows what it'll start. A war, truly, in the pit of his belly, stoking up the front line flames until he coughs up bullet casings and scrap metal and splinters.

"Sorry," he grumbles out.

"Oh, no, it's not a problem, just don't want you hacking up anything too unsavory," you say with eyes sparkling and set on the red smeared across his upper lip. He looks like hell, and you're pretty sure that milky button up is ruined.

You didn't know what to say when he slumped against your doorframe, raggedy in his beat up Levi's, red in the face and panting like prey. But he blinked the sheen from his eyes, and you helped him set up camp in your empty halls for the night. He still thinks his Camaro looks best sitting pretty on your curb.

"Alright," you whisper, two fingers flat under his chin, steadfast when he swallows hard. Just to keep him from hanging his head like a dead man. Knees to knees, he's hunched over, peering through his lashes at your focused frown. "Might sting."

He closes his watery eyes with the towel dragging over his mouth; you thumbing his rough skin through the thick fabric like he's not doused in it. Blood, that is, snd it's always been there. Under his fingernails or swelling his eye or rushing in his ears.

He hisses, but it doesn't hurt all that much. You still pull away, hands off at the scare even though he shakes his head like the pain doesn't matter to him. Or you.

"Need a break? Some... water or... we've got sweet tea downstairs—?"

"'M good," he hums, pushing a wisp of a golden curl behind his ear. "Don't worry about me."

You click your tongue and tilt your head to the side. And he welcomes you between his legs this time, palms gripping the lid of the toilet, trying his best to keep his head level.

"Easier said than done," you tease only to keep him occupied while you sponge at the litter of bruises and knicks by his chin. Flaking the dried blood away, giving way to smooth patches of clean skin. After a while, he gets a little desensitized to the raw and scraping feeling, and suddenly it's all you. Just his big blue eyes and your fingertips feeling the plump of his warm cheek.

"You're too sweet to me, sugar."

You scoff.

"Well, somebody's gotta look after that mug'a yours."

He stands when you shuffle back to the sink, plopping the wet towel over the drain, and running the faucet while you grab a box of bandaids from the cabinet.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

You smile down at the thin paper packaging as you fuss with the loose adhesive and nod him over. He nearly lunges for you, tripping and catching himself with his hip shoved against the edge of the counter. He'd blame it on the head rush. The adrenaline or blood loss or something like that.

"Wouldn't want to ruin such a pretty face."

He's too busy to take you in like he usually would. With a subtle down and up. He’s breathing so deep in his tight chest it aches, air twisting down his throat because he doesn't get it. Why you're like that. Why you're nice, and no less, to him. Of all people. It catches him so off-guard he forgets his own damn charm.

"Alright, come here."

He grins with the side of his face that doesn't burn. "Bossy."

"Kinda hard to patch you up if you keep dodging me," you tease, splitting the wax paper seal of the bandaid and aiming it for his jaw, "come here."

He goes quiet. All nerves, choked up, and leaning for you. Turning his head away from the mirror to give you a good angle. You lay two more on him, and it makes him feel nice when you pat down the edges to be sure they won't peel up. Even though that much is inevitable. He thinks you're underestimating how much he smiles around you.

"Good as new." You look at him like he's worth more than his bargain market price tag. Like he's saddled with antiquity. Like done healing and finally safe. "Did you wanna stay over? House is free for the weekend, you're welcome to stay as long as you want."

And maybe that's all he's ever wanted to hear from you. That he's welcome. All threadbare and sporting violet eye bags, just to be allowed to stay is enough.

The rest is easy. Easier than it ever has been for him. To accept the hand you give him, the seat waiting on the edge of your bed, and the cool glass of water you slip between his thumb and fingers. Easy to let it flow through his tightly wound body like lifeblood.

He doesn’t try to sneak a sly peek at you when you change into a pair of drawstring pants. And the pale light spattered across the soft green walls flicks out, leaving only the lamp on your bedside table. The only light in the house. It’s warm over your pillows, barely tucking beneath your thick comforter and drifting off into darkness.

He likes how much you know without having to ask. How all you do is look at him to see.

And you don’t ask him to lay down or tell him your trust him enough to meet him halfway. But you don’t face him, and you both know it’s for the better. He can feel something small and shocking radiating from the static along your wrists and thighs and the way you don’t flinch with his heavy arm draped over your ribcage. And his nose buried against the nape of your shoulder and neck.

“Like it when you do that,” he whispers, tucking his knees up behind yours, his boots staining your mattress, but you’ll change the sheets tomorrow anyway.

You sigh out a laugh.

“Do what?”

“Dunno,” he says. And his mouth is so close, each syllable purses against your skin and tastes its sweaty cologne. “Just… whatever it is—it’s you, and it’s nice.”

You’ve learned not to laugh when he rushes his words. When things are particularly difficult to stomach, he spits them all over with a glottal headiness you’ve grown used to. You nod.

“And I get it—I get stubborn about you and about this”—he shudders in his chest before continuing—“but I… it’s nice to have you… around.”

His eyes are shut when he shifts closer, but yours are wide open. Feeling the fault bust apart and rattle your once fortified walls.

You lick your dried lips and say, “not so bad yourself,” while drawing your fingertips over his softening knuckles.

He snickers.

And you yank the chain of the stained glass lamp with two fingers before settling back into his embrace. And he smiles.

masterlist

taglist:

@itsmoonyhere / @milkiane

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x gn!reader #billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x you #x reader #x gn!reader #x gn reader #x plus size reader #x poc reader #stranger things #stranger things x y/n #stranger things x reader #fluff #hurt/comfort #dacre montgomery #dacre montgomery x reader #that gif hurts to much every time i see it #‘for you’ 😞

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emissaire · 1 year

Text

the parting gift - ryuguji ken x reader

warnings/includes: angst, hurt/no comfort, toxic relationships, breaking up, violence, use of mature language such as swearing, mentions of izana x reader, implied dating bajitrio, senju and yuzuha are girlfriends bcs why tf not 🌈 // wc: 7.6K

listen to: m. by anıl emre daldal, romatic homicide by d4vd, chamber of reflection by mac demarco, chilly by niki

note: hey guys! happy new year ♥ here's my first angst for this year, 2023. hope you enjoy >< also this piece is inspired by the movies: the breakup playlist & the effect of a finger flick on a breakup

synopsis: that moment, it occurred to ken ryuguji that emptiness will be his companion for a very long time, so it seems, but it's fine. at the very least, you still gave him one last gift.

Life wasn't always like thisㅡ when you have to constantly second guess your own intentions and be self-deprecating. Life wasn't always filled with the unknown where you have to keep your head low and walk on eggshells so you wouldn't overstep but because of Ken Ryuguji, your every waking day is filled with uncertainty and anxiety. Even after you moved cities, the memories still haunt you.

You swear you used to know him so well like the back of your hand, memorized him to the very core so it's really ironic how you're looking at him as if he was someone you've only met once: familiar yet empty and distant.

You can't see him anymore. Looking right through this unapologetic and hollow shell of a man that stood before you is like looking at yourself through a fragmented glass panel, reflective but damaged. You see yourself in him and it's so cruel because god damn, you want to resent him so much.

"Really, we broke up and that's fine. I have nothing against you." He shrugs so casually as if he is not seeing you crumble before himㅡ yet again. He looks too relaxed for you to be hurting this much just by hearing him speak his cursed poem of nonchalance and ignorance. It seems like he doesn't really care. Did he ever even care?

How did everything spiral down to this? Were you too complacent? Have you always been such a pushover? Do all these questions matter at this point?

You remember a time when his I love yous remind you of the tender moments with him, when the look in his eyes, as soon as they landed on you, was enough to placate you after a long day without him. Now they all mean nothing. He was your everything until it came to a point where the little things, small banters and meaningless quips turned into full-blown fights over who's right, who's in the wrong, who's the bigger person and who's better.

To this day, you still can't place a finger as to why that argument even came up. Not like you were ever in a rivalry with your own boyfriend. After all, a loving relationship is never supposed to be a competition but that wasn't how Draken saw it.

"I have… I needㅡ please, just cater me for a second." Your smile doesn't reach your eyes, sight starting to get blurry with the onslaught tears threatening to spill.

He doesn't say anything but the sound of his heavy sigh resounds in your ears so hauntingly but you push throughㅡ from all those years letting him overshadow your presence in what's supposed to be a two-way relationship, you think you deserve to be heard at least once. "I've been thinking… you know, I did love you."

"Are you trying to make me feel better? I told you, we're cool. You really don't have to." His words followed by a light chuckle manages to make your heart clench.

"No, I… I did, though I don't know when I stopped caring," you pause, clutching your bag placed on your lap before continuing, "Yesterday while I was unpacking, I found this." You used the opportunity to breathe as you dug through your bag to search for the item you found in your jewelry box. The anklet he had given you on your second anniversary is as pretty as ever when you hand it to him. "I just want to give that back."

Draken purses his lips and ends up pocketing the jewelry. He feels a little bad, seeing you so closed off again and looking small but this whole ordeal is a drag and pointless, he thinks. Why dwell on something that's already ended?

"Can I ask you something?" Your voice stops his train of thoughts as he trails his eyes towards your face before he nods. "Did you really love me?"

The question got him taken aback but he had seen this coming. He knew it'll be a question after everything that's happened. "I did."

He sees your momentary pause, the look of surprise on your face baffles him as he narrows his eyes at you. Did you expect him to say no? He wasn't that bad, right?

"Oh," was all you could muster to respond as you pondered over the remaining moments you were together.

"Were you expecting a different answer and for me to say no?" He didn't mean to sound accusing but the thought of you doubting his feelings hurt his pride.

"Can you blame me?"

"What are you implying?"

"Did you ever let me decide on dates? Have you ever asked me how my day went? You never even offered me your hand whenever we went out and it's so crowded." This time, your tears have practically cascaded down your cheeks as you ask him all the questions you've been bottling up. This was far from what you wanted to happen today. You promised to yourself not to open the wound you're trying so hard to heal but it happened before you could process it. As your voice raises in pitch, the more it wavers. It's pathetic but fuck it, you deserve at least this much.

"How is that important? You're so hung up on the littlest things." Draken argues back.

Little things, but wasn't it always the little things that matter? If he wouldn't listen because of that then you'll give him big enough reasons for him to hear you. "Have you approached me to apologize after an argument when you know you started it? Did you ever try to give something up for me? Whenever I wanted to see you, did you ever run to me?"

"Of course I didㅡ" "You did only because you wanted to have sex!"

That had him quiet in guilt, stiffening in his posture and lips going back to being pursed. So he really was that bad. No, maybe the term 'bad' doesn't even suffice to the amount of pain he's subjected you to.

"Above all things, what kind of boyfriend would envy the woman they love? Ken, I wasn't your rival, I was your girlfriend. Weren't we supposed to be happy for each other? If you really loved me you wouldn't see me that way."

Draken has been quiet for a while now, not only tonight but has been for a couple of days. He's also been irritable so you try to do your best to show you're there for him but still keep a safe distance lest he needs his own space.

"Tora's new touch-ups on his bike were really cool, don't you think so?" You smile up at him, engaging his reaction but you're only met with silence and a frown as he hands you your helmet. The rest of his friends are still inside the restobar but your boyfriend insisted you guys leave first.

"Kenny?" This time, you touch his arm gently only for it to be shrugged off as he puts on his own helmet.

"You want to switch boyfriends since you think his bike looks cool? Go on then." His words were muffled but they were sharp and pointed that it digs through your heart. He's never one to be jealous, always the rational he is so you don't understand where this sudden idea came from.

You laugh, deciding to take his words lightly as you hop on the bike behind him, arms wrapped around his middle torso in a snuggle. "You know what I mean! I'm just happy for him since it took him years to have his dream bike."

"You're so happy for him, you're not even his friend." The rest of the drive, you remain in silence. His words stung but what he uttered next as soon as the both of you are in yourㅡ no, hisㅡ apartment (as what he have told you last week in an argument: the apartment is his because he bought it, you doing the house chores and paying half the utility bills is a responsibility as his "tenant") did it. He said them with so much conviction you're convinced you owe him everything that you haveㅡ that you are.

"I– I loved you!" Draken claims, his own voice starting to waver as the realization hits him little by little. By the tone of his voice, it sounded like he was convincing himself more than you.

"I introduced you to my friends, right? I got you people who tolerate you! Without me you'd be nothing. I just want a little respect! Do you know how hard it was for me to have your family's approval? They all think you're better than me. I worked for so many years to have at least a pinch of regards but you? You didn't even have to do anything to make my friends respect youㅡ hell, they respect you more than me! I love you so much but looking at you and being with you just reminds me of how I'll always be a failure."

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Certainly, he knows he did. He cherished you once upon a time but the pressure of constantly comparing himself to you got the best of him. For him, no matter what he does he's always met with a scorn by your family while you, even your bare minimum actions are rewarded by praise from his friends. Right from the start, he knew you were too good for him but that never fazed him. When it finally poisoned his mind, he got so scared of you thinking the same way and without seeing how his actions affected you, he pushed you away and started blaming you for what he's lacking.

"You're not supposed to hurt the one you love, Ken." You mutter, wiping the tears that wet your cheeks as you compose yourself. He doesn't say anything anymore but you can see his face scrunched upㅡ in hurt or confusion, you don't bother asking him as you take a step back. You've said what you needed him to hear, poured out the last bits of toxin tampering with your entire being and the root of all your insecurities.

This time, you will put yourself first above all things. You won't stop again for a person who's not willing to compromise and match their pace with you. "I hope this teaches us both something. Have a good life Draken."

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

"Man, you really need to get your shit together." Mikey's voice is muffled by the glass pressed against his lips as he takes a sip of his whiskey.

"What happened this time?" Mitsuya asks, eyeing the both of them over the kitchen counter.

After you left, Draken immediately called his closest friends for a drink. He feels so pathetic for feeling this wayㅡ for being hurt once you turned your back on him because he thought, after the official breakup that had happened a month ago, he would be okay. Why is he suddenly devastated when he knows he's not in any place to be?

"I'm such a horrible person." He says in a drawl, words slurring as he started drinking before his friends had even arrived in his apartment.

"Oh so you are aware." His blonde friend is about to add more insult but Mitsuya glares in his direction, wordlessly telling him to shut up.

"Why do you say that?" Mitsuya asks again.

"When you love someone you're supposed to make them happy. You'll do everything in your power so they wouldn't get hurt… but I–" He couldn't finish his words, getting choked up with the emotions flooding his system. "I fucked up so bad."

Both of his friends don't say anything, letting him speak his entire heart out. They've seen him put a barrier between you and himself and while they don't support the way he had treated you, it wasn't also their place to intervene. They could only offer so much because at the end of the day, the answer will always come from the both of you. So for the entire night, they stayed with Draken and listened to him ramble about how much of an asshole he is for hurting the only person who showed him genuine love.

The next morning, Draken woke up in his bed, throat dry and head spinning due to the hangover. Last night was a blur, he can't even remember how much he drank and when his friends left his house. Feeling so weak, he almost didn't want to move but figured he'll feel much better after a shower and a glass of water. The anklet in his pocket is long forgotten as it fell on the floor and got kicked under his bed with no regard— much like how he had made you feel.

"Are you sure about this?" Your cousin, Hinata, asks almost tearfully. She's holding your unoccupied hand as the other carries your duffle bag. Behind the both of you are Naoto and Takemichi, rolling your luggages across the tiled floors of the airport.

So much has happened over the course of one year and while you can't say you're entirely happy, you've made it past the horrible times of crying yourself to sleep or skipping meals— you did everything you could to divert the pain away from your heart. It took that much to start building yourself up and all over again, and now you're here, in the airport ready to leave the country and possibly the hurtful memories you have too.

"Of course. I'll still call you guys whenever I can so we won't miss out much on each other." You reassure Hinata with a grateful smile on your face once all of you have arrived in front of the airport's gates.

You look over at your younger cousin, flashing him another smile and a nod towards Takemichi, wordlessly thanking them. You couldn't be more grateful for the support they've given you after the heartbreak. They were at your beck and call— especially Hinata when you needed a pillar and a shoulder to cry on so to leave them after everything makes you sad.

"You're going to be late if you stay here longer." Naoto reminds you, helping arrange your luggages in a way that will be easier for you to carry.

You leave them after a round of hugs and tearful farewells and then you are off to another country, hopeful and confident that you'll find the very much longed for rest of your heart and mind.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Draken is… well, still an empty hollow man but unlike before when he liked to pretend he was fine just being him, he's doing terrible. His routine of beating himself up in the morning and drinking until the late hours of the night is a habit of his now, leaving Inui to manage the shop on his own. The man is too kind for his own good to even scold his business partner for neglecting his duties.

On some nights when he's really drunk, he cries and aches alone, calling out your name. He can barely even remember what it's like to long for you in sobriety as he drowns himself in liquor. He's eyeing the anklet he had given you again, he found it one morning when he stumbled on his own feet and kissed the floorboards of his room like a loser.

He tried to reach out a week after your confrontation but your cousins and even Takemichi kept blocking him out and any sort of contact he could get from you. He thinks he deserved that but the feeling of unfairness still eats at his heart and when it bleeds, the bitterness spreads. That's when he would turn to his only loyal companion now: alcohol.

"You need to stop doing this, Ken. You need help." Mitsuya tells him with his brows furrowed in concern.

"Stop fuckin' telling me whatta do, a'ight? I'll stop if she comes back!" Draken replies drunkenly, swinging the half-empty can of alcohol in his hand which only makes his friend sigh at the pathetic sight.

"Do you think she'll want to come back after seeing you in this state?" Mitsuya is indignant, snatching the can out of Draken's grasp only for the other to push him away defensively, almost knocking him back.

"You asshole! The hell's your problem?" Draken yells, fisting his shirt and glaring at him through unfocused eyes.

Mitsuya can only stare at his friend like he had grown two heads, befuddled and hurt. Draken has never been violent like this. "Ken, you're the one who has a problem."

His comment causes the taller man to go stiff and before they can even process what happened, Draken's fist connects to his cheek, leaving it bruised and sore. Despite the shock, he shoves the other back, aiming to punch him back but quickly stops himself in the process, seeing the empty look in his friend's eyes.

Mitsuya shakes his head as if to clear his own mind, heaving in adrenaline and anger. "Pull your head out of your ass and fix your shit. You're a fucking grown man so act like it." Without wasting another second, he storms out the apartment, shaking and anguished.

In a span of one year Ken Ryuuguji severs another relationship with his miscalculated judgment.

"Oh my god! I missed you so much!" Hinata screams in excitement, hugging you as soon as she opens the front door to reveal you. It had been too long since you've seen each other and your cousin was over the moon when you told her you were coming home for her wedding.

Life in Canada was both fulfilling and sad at the same time. You constantly miss the familiarity and your life in Japan but getting to explore, meet new people and discover new things about yourself were enough motivation to keep you grounded. You enjoyed yourself and you're as happy as you can get.

"Hina, please don't jump around too much. It's bad for the baby." Takemichi scratches his head, eyeing his fiancée in worry as he helps you carry your things inside their house.

"Oh please, I'm not even halfway through the second trimester. Stop being a worry-wart." Hinata teases the man as she leads you to the living room where she sits you down beside her. "So what was it like in a foreign country? Did you meet a handsome man?" She wiggles her brows teasingly.

You chuckle at her antics. "No, Hina and I did great there, considering I was alone."

"Heeey! You're omitting out one big detail. What happened to Mr. Hot Cafe Owner?"

She's talking about the man you met in Canada. He lived in the same apartment as you did, you were next door neighbors and he helped you with unpacking, even offered you dinner that same night. You hit it off well, considering he's an intellect with a golden heart. It even helped that he was part Japanese so you were less lonely and had someone to bond over missing home.

"Ahh him. He had to move back here in Tokyo for work purposes. Long distance didn't really work for us so we broke it off after almost a year of dating. It's been five months since we've had any contact." You shrugged.

"That's a shame," she pouts, "Well you're here in Tokyo now… so why not give it a shot again? That's if he's still here and single?"

"Here are your drinks, ladies." Takemichi places a tray containing tall glasses of orange juice and you quickly grab the opportunity to ponder as you drink.

You're not gonna lie, Izana (Mr. Hot Cafe Owner's name), was a great guy but there's something still quite missing in your heart so it was a blessing in disguise when he broke up with you himself. You agreed with his decision, thinking it would be for the best because up until now, you can still see yourself as someone else's woman no matter how ridiculous that sounds.

"Well, anyway! The wedding is in two weeks so we have a lot to do but for now why don't you go and rest first? Honey, can you please bring her to her room? I'm feeling tired." Hinata yawns, her hand on her belly as Takemichi nods right after placing a kiss on her forehead.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Being back in Japan is overwhelming in a lot of ways but more than that, you're just relieved because after so long, you're finally home. Although quite tired still from the long trip, you can feel your nerves buzzing in excitement at the prospect of seeing what's changed here and what Japan has in store for you even if it's temporary.

Days pass by in a blur with your cousins taking you around the city and back to the places you used to frequent; most times though you're with the couple helping them with last minute wedding preparations so you're pretty occupied which you're grateful for. If you weren't, you would have just spent your days thinking about him and the what-ifs, and you don't want that to happen after the years he's been out of your life. For all you know he could be married and even have kids— if you notice your heart squeezing at the thought, you ignore it.

"Thank you so much for all your help. I bet it was stressful for you, huh?" Hinata is adorned with the prettiest stud earrings, her hair and make up done in a way that accentuates her soft beauty. She's looking at you through teary eyes and a pout.

You quickly rush by her side, a warm smile on your face as you dab a tissue under her eyes lightly. Her baby bump is even more prominent with the snug fit of her dress which makes her look even more ethereal in her wedding attire. "No, thank you for trusting me to help out."

"Is the bride ready?" The wedding coordinator asks from behind the ajar door, looking at you and Hinata.

You flash a grin towards your cousin's way before turning to the coordinator. "Yeah, she is."

As the wedding procession happens, you stay close to Hinata as her maid of honor. You're like a worker bee assisting the bride, making sure that everything is fine that you don't notice the presence of someone who still holds a part of your heart captive and a pair of heavy eyes watching you from the crowd.

"Why didn't you tell me she's here?" Draken hisses beside Mikey as they stand at the front as Takemichi's groomsmen along with the others.

"I honestly didn't know." The other shrugs in nonchalance, completely engrossed in the wedding and finding entertainment at how Takemichi keeps stuttering. "Even if she is here, so what? She's Hinata's cousin so it makes sense."

"Liar. If I had known—" Draken's murmur is interrupted by Mikey's low voice, "It's not that big of a deal, Ken-chin. Besides, haven't you moved on? You're dating someone else now anyway."

That made him quiet, lips pressed into a thin line before heaving out a defeated sigh.

Four long years it has been and you still look… the same. You still look like you but somehow you look radiant? No, you've always been shining but in the years of having you hide behind his shadow, he wasn't able to see just how bright you were— for him you're a sight for sore eyes, something only to behold from afar.

The entire time until the end of the wedding and at reception, he doesn't ever take his eyes off you. Whether you spotted him after gawking at you like an idiot for hours and ignored him or you simply just not noticed, he's glad because if you look in his way, he wouldn't know what to do with himself. He could kiss you, cry, curse at you— he really doesn't know.

"Draken, Yona just texted me asking why you're not returning her calls. She said she's been calling you." Mitsuya lets his taller friend know, gesturing for his phone currently facing down the table. He and Draken made up, Mitsuya forgiving the latter with no hesitance seeing as they go way back and after promising to take care of himself and seek therapy to help him.

"I turned off my cell." Is his lame excuse.

"You should at least text her, let her know what's going on." Chifuyu adds while halfway through his food.

Yona isn't his girlfriend per se, more of like a person to fill the absence of the person he's been longing for. Though he finds her kind of irritating, she's sweet and wants to be with him despite the constant rejection so he keeps her around.

Draken only nods his head before excusing himself to go call the girl outside the reception hall. He doesn't know why he's feeling annoyed that he has to let her know of his whereabouts like he's a child. When he was with you, you trusted him and never pestered him to update you as long as you knew where he was and he got home safe— where the hell is mind going?

"Baby! Why are you only calling me now? I even texted you multiple times!" He winces at the whiny voice on the other line before sighing.

"Sorry, I turned my phone off. Didn't want to come off rude to the newly weds," he words out off-handedly, eyes staring into the spacious garden area of the reception, "Anyway, what's up? Did something happen?"

"I just miss you, that's all." Yona whispers, he can hear the suggestive drawl in her tone which has him frowning.

"Really? You called me because of that?"

"You're so mean. Y'know, my ex boyfriends would've been running to see me the moment I—" Draken doesn't hear her meaningless taunts to make him jealous because as soon as your figure emerges from the double doors where he had come from as well, his heart starts hammering in his chest.

"Look, I'll call you back later." He drops the call without any hesitation as he mindlessly walks in your direction. There's really no thought in his mind, body working on autopilot when his eyes zero in on you. He's desperate when he opens his mouth to call for you but gets stopped by a strong grip placed on his shoulder.

"Don't." Naoto tells him, eyes dark in warning.

"I just need to—"

Your cousin frowns at him, clearly showing his distaste with no hesitation towards the latter. "Need what? To hurt her again? Don't you think she's had enough of you and your bullshit?"

The taller shrugs the hand off his shoulder, jaw slack and eyes narrowed back at Naoto as they share an intense glaring showdown but he refuses to back down. He just needs to hear your voice or even see you look his way… anything!

"Stay away from her, Ryuguji-san. If you have any respect left for her, you'll leave her alone." Then he's left alone outside the reception hall, gaping and frustrated at the abrupt exchange between him and Naoto. He knows it was a bad idea to approach you all of a sudden like nothing happened, like he didn't do anything wrong, like he hadn't broken you into pieces, but the sight of you just made his mind go blank. You completely erased his mind to emptiness and filled his heart full with so many emotions.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

You find yourself clutching your chest, locked up in the bathroom stall as you attempt to calm your heart down. You knew he was going to be there, his name written on the invitation and at first, it made you nervous but he's quickly removed from your thoughts with how busy you had been with your cousin's wedding. Right now though, you can barely contain it. You're surprised you managed throughout the wedding procession and made it to reception but now, you feel weak.

You're sure he knows you're here even though your name wasn't on the invitation, leaving it blank since they weren't sure if you'd be able to make it. He knows you're here but he acts like he's fine and you know he is— not even a bit fazed by your presence.

"Babe, you okay in there?" You hear Yuzuha's voice outside the stall.

"You've been here for 10 minutes. The couple's about to cut the cake." Emma notes though you don't miss the worry in her voice.

You breathe in and out, straightening your back and tucking the loose curls of your hair behind your ear before opening the door with a confident smile on your face. "I'm okay. Let's go?"

They both nod and then loop both of their arms through either one of yours, guiding you out of the comfort room.

The entirety of the event, you don't dare look Draken's way nor even attempt to share the same space with him when you find him too close for comfort. You have to stay away from him if you don't want the years you spent trying to get used to his absence to be meaningless.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

A week after the wedding, both Hinata and Takemichi are away for their honeymoon. You have at least a month or so left before you need to go back to Canada and you're growing restless with nothing to do. You can't bother Naoto since he's busy with his job and you feel hesitant to ask both Emma and Yuzuha out since you didn't talk much when you were in Canada. You don't want to bombard them with sudden invitations because of the gap that has grown between you three.

"Fuck it." You sigh, deciding to call the girls anyway for a night out. Fortunately, they both said yes and you're determined to get out of the lonely house in your silk bodycon dress. You're waiting outside of the house for Yuzuha to pick you up so she can drive you both to Senju's house, her girlfriend, for pre-shots while Emma is already waiting at Senju's place.

You clutch your purse and coat tighter when you see Yuzuha's 2007 Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead stop in front of you, a cheeky grin plastered on her face. "Get in, loser. We're going drinking!"

You laugh at her Mean Girls reference as you pull the door open to situate yourself on the passenger seat. Good thing that you have a coat with you, considering that she's driving with the roof of her convertible down, you're bound to get cold.

The conversation with Yuzuha managed to ease you down and relax until you arrived at Senju's. Emma is the first to greet you with a "Don't you look gorgeous!" She gushed as soon as she saw you, rushing towards you like she's not in her bedazzled 6-inch stiletto heels.

Behind her is Senju, chilling on the couch. "Hey!" She grins at you, presenting a bottle of booze in the air. "Ready for drinks?"

It's 9:30 after the girls decided it was finally time to get down to business and leave for the club. You, Emma and Senju are tipsy but still coherent enough while Yuzuha is completely sober, only drinking one or two shots so there's at least one responsible within your group. She's just hoping that none of you are rowdy when drunk.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

You're perspiring as you dance together with Emma, both of you swaying to the music with your arms around each other to fend off other people who might take it as an invitation when they see either of you dancing alone.

"I've forgotten what it's like to let loose after so long! I feel so free like this!" You shout beside Emma's ear so she can hear you.

Emma giggles, eyes slightly unfocused as she clutches your sides. "Good to know you're having fun though!"

You nod at her, beaming under the poor lighting of the club. Senju and Yuzuha are still at your table, watching you both as they drown in each other's presence. The both of you continued dancing for a while before Emma excused herself to the bathroom while you made a beeline towards the bar counter.

"Can I have water please?" You smile at the bartender after he nods at your request, quickly handing you a glass of cold water to cleanse your palette. "Thank you!"

The counter isn't that busy, only six of you are seated as everyone danced the night away so the bartender entertains you politely. "Are you having a fun night?"

Immediately, you bob your head yes. "Oh yeah. I'm with my girls so I'm definitely having a blast."

"That's great to hear. Sometimes I'd get the opposite answer so I'm relieved." He grins at you before eyeing the now empty glass in your hand. "So another glass of water or can I offer you something else?"

Before you can respond, a hand slides over the counter on your right, a card under its palm. The sudden voice makes you still in your seat, nerves buzzing as you turn to look at the stranger. "She'll have a red sangria."

The bartender raises a brow, skeptical before asking you, "Would you want that, Miss?"

Izana flashes you a boyish grin, his head tilted to the side and making his eyes twinkle as they trace your face in familiarity. He's waiting for your response, even cocking an eyebrow to urge you.

"Yeah, yeah that'd be nice." You hesitantly look back at the bartender to confirm your response with a slight nod of your head and a shaky smile. Without another word, the bartender works on your drink.

Your ex sits on the empty stool beside you, resting his head over his closed palm so he can admire you with a fond and cheeky smile present on his face. "How have you been? You're as pretty as ever."

Well shit.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

"Wait, you guys are here?" The loud voice sounds so indignant, making Senju and Yuzuha pull away from each other's lips, although quite hesitantly.

Squinting to be able to see more clearly, Senju frowns at the sight of his older brother and his friends gathered in front of their table. "Haru-nii, why are you here?"

"Can the both of you stop yelling?" Baji interrupts, pulling out a chair at the same table so he could sit, making Haruchiyo, Mikey, Draken, Mitsuya and Pah-chin to do the same. Their once empty and quiet table is now as rowdy (if not, more) as the other tables.

"You're just salty because your boyfriends left you out on their mini-vacation." Mikey snickers along with Haruchiyo and Pah-chin, annoying Baji at the mention of Chifuyu and Kazutora going on a cruise trip without him to punish him after forgetting to lock up the pet shop and almost losing two cats and three hamsters.

"Man, shut the hell up. I already apologized about it." Baji sounds so antagonized before downing an entire bottle of beer from the couple's bucket.

"Who're you with anyway?" This time, Draken asks as he looks around the club goers to spot any familiar faces and man, did he spot someone so intimately familiar. Is that really you with Mikey's fucking brother?

He doesn't hear Yuzuha's answer as he watches you giggle at whatever the silver head man just told you. He chuckles in disdain, scorning even more when Izana ruffles your hair and pinches your cheek as if you two were close. When did you even meet this guy?

"Why are all these people here?" Emma's voice stops his train of thoughts, she's looking at them with faux annoyance before plopping down on the seat next to her brother.

"Eh, I should be the one asking you that. You said you'd be at Shin-nii's place to help him with his date!" Mikey probes, flicking his sister on the forehead.

"Obviously I lied and you did too. You said you'd be with grandpa tonight!" The siblings continue to bicker while Draken remains mum in his seat, watching you and the nuisance beside you.

"Oh shit! Is that Izana?" Mitsuya asks, bewildered as he points towards your direction. "With—"

"Yeah, the four of us came here. I didn't know Izana-nii was back though…" Emma pouts. "He's even flirting with my friend! The jerk!"

"Should we call them over?" Pah-chin suggests.

Mitsuya and Mikey simultaneously look at Draken but the latter dismisses them. "Yeah, sure. Why not?"

Emma is a girl on a mission when she strides towards the unsuspecting figures of her victims. Placing a hand on your shoulder as well as Izana's, she leans between the both of you. "What is the meaning of this?"

You nearly jump out of your seat, if not for Emma holding you back with a cheeky grin. "You scared me!"

"Sorry!" She chirps before turning her attention towards the man beside her now, eyes squinted. "And you meanie! You didn't inform us you were back and then you're flirting with my girl?"

Her words seem to confuse you. She sounds very familiar with Izana so you look at the both of them in silence, watching their interaction.

Izana rubs the back of his neck with a sheepish grin. "Hey… little sis!"

Little sis?

Emma just clicks her tongue before wrapping her hands around your arm as well as Izana's and then tugging the both of you towards the table where the others are. You almost stumbled on your feet at the sight of Draken but relents anyway as Emma continued to drag you with her.

"Here they are! You sit with me Izana-nii, explain yourself!" Emma pushes you lightly towards the unoccupied seat which so happens to be near Draken.

Great. Just what you needed.

You clear your throat, easing the awkwardness out of your system and refusing to look to your right where he's situated. "Wait, how come you guys know Izana?" You ask, confusion still clearly written on your face.

Mikey groans, hitting the white haired man on the shoulder. "He's our brother. It's kind of a complicated story but yeah, we're siblings."

Isn't it so funny? The world's so small even the person you decided to date is somehow still connected to the person you're trying to forget. "Right, of course."

"The real question though is how you know each other?" Draken addresses, clearly showing interest but you don't dare turn his way or else you might just combust and freak out.

This time, both you and the man in question stare at each other for a moment before he clears his throat. "We uhh, we dated."

You can't see him but you definitely feel the ominous aura from the man behind you, for what reason, you're baffled but it's not like he cares, right? It's been years since you broke up.

"When was this?" Baji asks, completely intrigued.

"In Canada, we dated for a year at least." Izana clarifies with an easy shrug before sending a playful wink your way.

"Ew. Someone, pass me the sick bucket!" Mikey jokingly hurls while the rest laugh at his anticsㅡ except for Draken.

It's so pathetic how your attention is still on him despite the presence of your friends and your other past lover but the hold he had on you— still has on you is too strong for you to pretend that it's not there.

"Come with me." Says Draken, a tight hand around your arm as he pulls you up to stand.

"What?" You ask in bewilderment, eyes wide and mouth gaping. Everyone around the table stares at the both of you now, making you want to shrink.

"Ken—" You shake your head towards Mitsuya as you finally stand as well and let Draken lead you away from the table. You quickly turn your head, mouthing an I'll be okay before completely disappearing out of their sight.

"What was that about?" Izana asks, completely perturbed by just what happened, aiming to follow you but Mikey pulls him back down.

"She said she'll be okay. They'll come back later."

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

The both of you are outside in the parking lot, awkwardly standing in front of each other though both your eyes don't dare to meet, too afraid to see what they might imply. In the years you've dated one another, spoken words didn't amount to how your eyes communicate.

"Why did you bring me out here?" You finally decide to address him, uncomfortably shivering in the chilly night. In your haste, you didn't get to bring your coat with you. Damn Draken.

"I…" The words in his throat get stuck as soon as he sees you— actually sees you in front of him. The way you have to tilt your head upwards to look at his face, your pretty lips in a small pout and your eyebrows furrowed, god, he wants to see your smile as much as he wants to see you cry.

"If you dragged me out here to fight, please spare me. I came here to have fun." You murmur, voice soft and timid as if you're afraid that you'll offend him. The years you spent building your confidence seem nothing now that you're facing the person behind your self-destruction.

"That's not— fuck. I miss you!" His longing words come out more aggressive than he had intended it to but you make him lose himself in the emotions swarming him.

It feels like a bucket of water has been splashed all over you as you take in his words, time seemingly slowing down agonizingly the longer you stare at him. "I don't have time for this." Yet you remain rooted in your place. For some reason, the way he's looking at you like you have half of his heart makes you want to stay and listen to what he's going to say next— like a fool. You know you shouldn't give him another opportunity to break your walls down yet here you are.

"I long for you every single day. I see you in everything around me— I… I still love you. So damn much." There, he said it. The one thing you've been wanting to hear since your relationship bursted at its seams… yet it doesn't do anything to lift the heavy feeling lodged in your chest. The elevation you expected to swarm you doesn't come and it's so disappointing because once upon a time, you needed him to say that.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Draken sounds so desperate and he knows it. He's almost ready to grovel at your feet if you so wish but he doesn't hear anything from you, it's like you're not there with him anymore. Absent, empty and void. He finds it so hard to breathe. "Please, say something. Say anything…please."

A heavy and shaky sigh is your response, biting at the quiver of your lower lip as if it would stop the impending hurt from overtaking. "If I say that I still do return your love, would it change anything? Answer me truthfully, Ken."

He's almost tempted to say yes but he knows the answer to that. He'd be fooling the both of you then because the remnants of what you had isn't really enough to fix what he's already destroyed.

You offer him a small smile but deep inside, you feel your insides twisting and your heart shrinking with what you're about to say. "We've grown older and apart, I'm sure you also had your own realizations as to what went wrong with us."

Draken nods his head in affirmation although his eyebrows are creased, finding it hard to read between the lines— is this acceptance or rejection?

"So I don't understand why you're saying all these things to me like you didn't learn anything from what happened," you purse your lips before adding, "I cherish what we had and I like how things are now. I choose to stay away from you because I don't want to keep putting all the blame on you. I don't want to end up hating you, Ken Ryuguji. Let's not do this."

He doesn't know what hurts more. The way you murmured his name with such tone, like there's a vast space between you— loud but meaningless because you're so far away or the fact that somehow, you still put him on a pedestal despite being an asshole to you. It's fucking with his mind and he wants to see the entire world burning with the lightmatch in his hand. After all, what's the world without you? What is he without you?

"Please keep your distance from me, Ken. I don't want to keep doing this. It's tiring." Such heavy words fall past your lips like they weigh nothing, but to Ken Ryuguji they were enough to break him. They were like knives piercing right through his very heart and as you take a step back and away from him, he doesn't follow you to ease the gaping hole it left in his chest as he watches you walk away again. This time, he's sure that you will never make the same mistake of turning back the wrong way— turning back to him because right there and then, he lets it happen. With a broken sob he's ever heard himself cry, he fully embraces the void as the last thing to remember you by. That moment, it occurred to him that emptiness will be his companion for a very long time, so it seems, but it's fine. At the very least, you still gave him one last gift.

#livre: daisy #draken x reader #ken ryuuguji x reader #draken angst #ken ryuuguji angst #tokyo revengers angst

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sitp-recs · 1 year

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hi hello i’ve been compulsively playing hayday for the past 48 hours and am in desperate need of farm / cottagecore drarry, if you’ve read any new ones recently (bc i’ve literally gone through everything on your list you’re actually a godsend) i would appreciate it soooso much if you shared xxxx

Hi anon! That’s the cutest ask I’ve ever received haha I hope you enjoy these farm & cottagecore recs :)

To the Rhythm of the Waves by @tsauergrass (2020, G, 2.7k)

They found a lot of things together: the cottage, the garden, their lives, each other. Then one day, Harry finds a hammock.

Home is Where the Nifflers Are by @primavera-cerezos (2020, G, 4k)

Draco has a soft spot for animals with nowhere to go; soon his and Harry's small flat is bustling with adorable, semi-dangerous creatures.

Country Roads by maraudersaffair (2021, E, 8k)

On his farm, Harry grows magical crops and keeps magical creatures. His Muggle-Repelling and Masking Charms are not doing well and he’s attracting unwanted attention and suspicion from his Muggle neighbours. The Ministry sends Draco to make sure that everything abides to the International Statue of Secrecy.

the treehouse near primrose downs by @softlystarstruck (2022, M, 14k)

Draco and Harry have been roommates for years, so buying a magical house in the countryside shouldn’t be a big difference. But in between fresh loaves of bread and beds of wildflowers, things start to fall into place.

Life Is The Flower (For Which Love Is the Honey) by @bafflinghaze (2016, T, 15k)

The Malfoy Manor lands are lush and verdant. Bees hover over carpets of flowers, and ducks paddle in the pond. It is a place far removed from bustling London and pesky reporters; it is a place where Harry finds what—and who—he didn’t know he was missing.

amid this warm and steady sweetness by warmfoothills (2019, E, 21k)

Harry is not living in a period drama, no matter what his friends or his new house or Malfoy’s sudden affinity for horse-riding might suggest, and if one more person uses the word courting, he’s going to start hexing people.

What Makes a House a Home by @writcraft (2022, E, 27k)

Ten years after the Battle of Hogwarts Draco Malfoy wakes up in an unfamiliar house owned by none other than Harry Potter. Even stranger is the snow in September and a night sky without any stars. Naturally it’s a matter of life and death, because isn’t it always?

On Your Shore by @xanthippe74 (2020, M, 35k)

Clearing out a remote house full of cursed collectibles in the Outer Hebrides? Not a problem for an experienced curse breaker like Harry Potter. Spending a week with the straight, happily-married man that he’s starting to have feelings for? And sharing a bed with him at night? Surely Harry can handle that, too. But both the house and Draco Malfoy have secrets to uncover, and Harry might be in deeper water than he thought.

Through the May Air, Over the Ocean by @tsauergrass (2019, T, 45k)

Draco Malfoy never expected to find himself in Scotland or being stuck in a cottage with Potter—but wonders never cease. A story about warmth, a story about falling back in love. A story about a flock of sheep in the distant fells of Scotland.

The Bolthole by aideomai, GallaPlacidia and Tepre (2020, E, 54k)

Harry is a hoarder, Draco is grief-stricken, and both are capable human adults who can definitely spend a month in a cottage in the Cotswolds together without ever talking about the time they slept together in eighth year. Yeah, no, totally.

Sweet Creature by bananagege, bribitribbit (2018, T, 63k)

Harry loves his sheep, his dogs, the tranquil countryside farm he's turned into a home. He doesn't need Draco Malfoy screwing it all up. But, god, what else is he supposed to do about Draco Malfoy sleeping with a lamb in his bed?

The Kitchen Thieves (and the Kitchen Herself) by @potteresque-ire (2018, E, 67k)

In a deserted cottage miles away from Hogsmeade, two young spirits waited for a new owner to call the place home. One day, Auror Harry Potter bought the cottage. One evening, farm wizard Draco Malfoy showed up to spend the night with Harry...and steal a pepper shaker from the kitchen. Maybe Kate can tell you all about them? She’s the spirit who looks after the kitchen, and she’s got quite a bit to say…

all the western stars by @oflights (2022, E, 78k)

Draco is a Seer who has been struck with terrible, uncontrollable visions of the deaths of everyone around him, triggered by touch. He retreats to an Unplottable Black family cottage to research his condition and fix it. Things are going relatively well until Harry Potter shows up at the cottage with a furry condition of his own.

Knead by laughingd0g (2020, E, 83k)

This is not a story about Harry renovating Grimmauld Place. This is a story about coffee shops and brewpubs, about Ginny and Luna on a farm with creatures, about magical Oregon, coastal road trips, flying, friendship, and Draco Malfoy's lean arms.

Wild, orphaned (2016, E, 92k)

“No,” Harry said, by way of greeting. Malfoy’s blonde head rose slowly, carelessly. “Get out.” “I feel as though we’ve already established this, Potter,” Malfoy responded. “And I feel that what we established was that you telling me to get out of places really doesn’t make me more likely to vacate them.”

#asks #anon #drarry recs #farm & cottagecore #best vibes! 🐮

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pinkpinkstarlet · 18 days

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Nah but it's the way every time a story features or is about women or a woman's story, people always want to try to make it about men or say "what if there were men instead?"

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and Six: the Musical both have parts of their fanbase(although thankfully in Six it's not the majority) saying that there should be a version with all men or going "what if this female main cast had a male main cast instead"? Even though the point of both is to provide representation for women, MLP is about how there's no wrong way to be a girl and changing the way girls'/girly shows are seen as shallow and less good, and giving girls multiple strong female characters to see themselves in instead of just one token/cookie cutter archetype, while Six is all about REAL-LIFE women whose lives were destroyed because of misogyny, it is all about girl power(same as mlp) and women getting to reclaim their stories from a patriarchal society that shortchanged and silenced their voices throughout history, but no let's make it about men lol.

The same is true for Sailor Moon, I have seen some people say that it's sexist or "misandrist"(as if that's even a thing lol) because it's all about women and the women are more powerful and how Tuxedo Mask "always needs to be saved" like goddamn let the girls be the heroes who save the world for once.

And for that matter PRECURE. Unpopular opinion that will surely get my head bitten off by fans but I don't think Precure NEEDS male Cures and it's not "erasing" feminine boys or saying boys can't be feminine or "reinforcing gender roles" to point that out. Precure is a franchise about female characters being the heroes and main characters who are powerful while also being feminine, it's supposed to place the women center stage and give them the spotlight when most media doesn't do that, trying to fit boys in it is just ruining that message imo. Tbh I would be happy if there were no male Cures at all, idgaf about your "but let boys be feminine" shit cuz I mean yeah but like go watch Cute High Earth Defense Club Love or something, that show seems more your speed(@ sexist Precure fans who say this, not you). I once got my comments removed TWICE for trying to point this out to someone, to the point where I just blocked them lol. One person even went so far as to make a petition for Toei Animation to make an all-male Precure season, again, just go watch Cute High, bc clearly that's what you're looking for.

I also saw some people complaining about Project MC^2 being "sexist" against boys and making them out to be stupid just because it's about girls being smart spies and good at math/art/science, one review even said "teach girls that boys matter too!" oh rly like they don't know already??? Like the world doesn't already tell them that each and every single day??????? The second girls get the spotlight everybody acts like boys are being attacked, but when boys get the spotlight it's all crickets and shit bc boys are supposed to take center stage like no one cares about girls getting attention. Your seven-year-old son isn't going to enter a self-hating misandrist crisis because one wee show said "women do run the world!" we still live in a patriarchy ffs.

Also in Cardcaptor Sakura the main character is a girl and the story has many female characters and is very empowering to women in general(while also having a great deal of powerful men and even a canon m/m couple), and yet I still saw this one annoying guy write an entire screed about how Sakura sucks as a character and should never have been Cardcaptor, the cherry on top was them saying that Syaoran should be the Master of the Clow Cards instead...because it's not enough that this show has multiple representations of positive men/masculinity in addition to women/femininity, it's still not good enough if it's a girl power fantasy, it MUST make a boy the hero!

I also saw someone say that Touhou, which has an all-female cast, needs more men. Wonder if they'd say the reverse if it had an all-male cast(correct answer: they wouldn't).

And then there's the Encanto fandom's entire can of worms where they went through that phase of wanting the female-dominated cast to be all about Camilo and Bruno, sidelining the women in the process. Like bruh. 😕

I really do wish that people would stop this shit, female-centric media is really never allowed to exist without people wanting men to be prioritized in it and take away from the female representation even though men have enough representation already lol, people can't handle when not everything is about men. It's why I will never listen to or take anyone seriously when they complain about shows like these being "sexist against men" and say that anything I write is too female-centric. Like. GOOD. The world needs more female-centric casts to shake up the status quo! You guys love complaining about shows being gendered and wanting gender equality in fiction only towards female-centric works, because you don't want to see women playing central roles without men also being there. Sucks to be on the other side of the playing field now, huh?

Anyway, I was inspired to write this to you rather than make it an original post because of your comment about people wanting Jennifer's Body to be about men(with Miguel as Jennifer) and yeah that is so disgusting and irritating. 🤢 I didn't even know that was happening but I'm not surprised because nobody ever lets shows about girls just center girls first and foremost. It truly is everywhere and I'm sick of it. Not everything needs to be about men, just let the women have something. Please.

Sorry this was long lol. 😅 Thanks for reading this far lol. You're a trooper! Have a nice day!

THIS ASK IS SO REAL ON SO MANY LEVELS!!

this also extremely effects lesbians and trans women because with lesbian women you’ll have people being like “do they really have to be gay? Why can’t they just be normal?” And with trans women it’ll be like “why can’t we just have normal nonqueer characters” or even “why can’t men just be men anymore” it’s like they hate any and all women and girls no matter what we do and it’s so insane to me

also I talked a little about this same phenomenon happening with Jennifer’s Body (2009), where there were people making aus of that movie with mainly MALE characters which downplays the whole message and plot of the god damn movie and it’s so ughhh

anyways sorry I took so long to get to this ask but everything you said is extremely true and I’m glad you brought attention to it!

also btw RADFEMS AND TERFS FUCK OFF THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU

#asks 💌#feminism #tw misogyny #intersectionalfeminist #radfems dni #terfs dni #anti radfem #anti terf #tw transmysoginy

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masonscig · 1 year

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I understand nearly everyone hates Rebecca (which is fair) but I wish she had a more solid role and an actual plotline. I feel like up until this point she's just been there as a mostly peripheral character for the Detective to have whatever feelings about and occasionally have repetitive, stilted convos with. Anytime the game asks how the Detective feels about something Rebecca does I just sigh bc, whether it's positive or negative, it just doesn't feel like it really matters to the story. I can't even hate her tbh, like she has the same value as, say, the Captain or Unit Alpha to me…. IDK maybe this is dumb or maybe she'll actually be firmly involved in the other books but, yeah..

i totally agree !!! it's very easy to hate rebecca, but that's bc what m*shka has given us in canon doesn't really do much for me and plenty of others – like we know she wasn't the best mom. we know she wants to atone for her mistakes. but why does everything she says feel so empty – and not in the "empty promises" kind of way.

it just reads so weird because she'll take a haggard breath or whatever and get upset about rook and then be a bit aloof with mc and then. we're supposed to what? pick a choice that repairs or damages the mc's relationship with her further? she's very one-note and two dimensional to me unfortunately. and like you said, i think that she doesn't matter to the story – not that she actually doesn't, it just doesn't feel like she has as much weight on the story as we're told – but she could and that's a huge opportunity missed

#like ... i would like rebecca or want to make oc's that repair their relationship with her if it felt worth it #and if she was a character with more depth than what we've seen #i don't doubt that it is there yk it's just not shown in canon that much imo #crying and getting shaken up over rook every 2 seconds isn't depth #i would much rather her be a more stoic character that already believes she *can't* repair her relationship with mc #so she doesn't even try until the ro finally says something to her later on maybe #wouldn't it also be soooo juicy if mc were to learn rook's backstory from others and rebecca had no idea mc knew?#anyway! there's lots of possibilities with rebecca and i feel so much of her is just. missed opportunity #asks #twc book 3 #twc book 3 spoilers #twc spoilers

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hollyhomburg · 8 months

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You have no idea how gratifying it was when the mc apologized to hobi. My friend has mental health issues and during her bad days she can become very hurtful to me and others. But I've been told by others "not to look too much into it" or "she didn't mean it" but that never took away the sting. I hate that I was just expected to take her verbal attacks bc she was suffering. Like I was supposed to shove MY feelings aside for hers. It just meant a lot to see the mc recocognize and apologize

Yeah i really didn't want to leave her apology for later chapters :( and tbh i really don't think its...good of your friend and your other friends to excuse that behavior. You know when you hurt someone no matter how sick you are. No one's willpower is endless, even if you understand why someone hurt you doesn't mean they didn't hurt you. I think the m/c recognizing this is also like- important in her character growth.

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fictiophillia · 2 years

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the INTJ post was really so good 🥺🥺🥺 could you would you write a mammon and INTP? 💕

a/n: First of all thank you for your request!!! And I'm glad you liked it, hope you like this one too HSJAKSHKAJSHSJAKSHJA I actually almost made the other INTX because I was talking with an INTP friend and she also likes Mammon, he also agreed that INTJ and INTP are pretty similar, in the end I decided to keep it INTJ but I'll be more than glad to do an INTP one!! ❤️

If this is too short you can always request this same request but with scenario specified :)

Mammon x INTP reader

warnings : later there's smut, I'll warn tho (includes dom! top! reader) amab reader hinted.

gender : neutral

First off all, he admires you.

He thinks you're very smart and loves hearing you talk about something you like.

And then you're also kind??

Nah bro he's simping already

He hates that you don't get his hints that he likes you.

As if he wasn't the same 🙄🙄

But he loves how affective and kind you are with him so <3

Anyways you could be wearing literally anything and he would still think you'd look stunning.

"YA KILLIN' IT HUMAN!!"

"THANKS BABE YOU TOO"

And he thought >he< was the model

You're just perfect in his eyes

Doesn't matter your gender, height, weight.

For him you're the personification of the emoji "✨"

He loves your smile. Please smile. He wants to see your smile. So smile for him.

And- not even a smirk like in the previous post, no, a mf sincere smile that only in you looks so pretty.

As if you're personality wasn't enough to make him fall in love-

He also loves your humor

Literally you could make your shittiest joke and he would still crack up.

"Does anyone have sunscreen??"

"No I don't like the way it tastes."

"Wait you eat sunscreen?!"

"No why would I eat it I just said I don't like how it tastes!"

It's just funny how you're like

"God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us?"

Meanwhile hes just like

"I'm gonna start a band specifically to start a romance within it that then ruins the band"

You both have similar energies and are almost as energetic too.

"Yo mammon would you rather fight a hundred toddlers or-"

"I wanna fight the toddlers."

"I didn't get to finish?????"

"Those toddlers are getting SMACKED-"

"goodnight human, Love ya <3!!!!"

"goodnight.

❤️"

"OI! You were supposed to say it back >:("

"oh

I sent a heart tho"

Do him hard, praise him while you wear your usually calm-but-kind-of-energetic face, it'll make him feel so many mixed emotions.

Good emotions tho dw.

He'd be cumming in a minute-

Every touch you give him just gives him chicken skin 🐔🥺 (JOKE BC IT'S HOW WE SAY GOOSEBUMPS IN PORTUGUESE/SPANISH)

Honestly he doesn't even know if he wants to dom or not-

Like, in the intj version I said he would be very submissive, breedable and "yes PARENT-"

But with an intp I see him actually just being like that one vibe

"*carrying an onion* ANYTHING FOR YOU BEYONCÉ!!!!"

Except instead of Beyoncé it's you.

simp 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Like I said before you could be in a hoddie, pajamas, tracksuit, wrapped up in a tortilla blanket and he would find you drop gorgeous.

"Look at you so beautiful under me... always trying to brease me- sorry I meant please me, it was my colorblind ass talking."

What does even colorblind have to do with that?? Neither of you know.

Also that just ruined the whole mood because you're both laughing your asses off.

Or maybe not 👀

"M-mammon calm down you're squeezing me too much..."

Now you're both are still horny AND in a happy mood.

Aw look too crackheads in love 🥺 /hj

Maybe, just maybe it improved the mood.

And maybe you two didn't stop there.

But you definitely calmed down.

Just don't crack a joke every time you too fuck 😭

" ooo you two are always according to each other, you must be into soms kinky stuff at night~ I wonder what the weirdest/kinkiest would be—"

"So Mammon brings his book of anecdotes and I read some."

" ...he brings.... a book of anecdotes..?..."

"Yeah, searching them up online takes too much, then we would have to get hard again-"

" ..... I'm not going to question it anymore."

He pants hard under you, never loosing either intensity or speed of your trusts.

He arched his back, he was close, but so were you.

You hold his hands each one at a side of his head, you both locking fingers and sweating, the only sounds being skin slapping and unsteady breaths.

"Y-ya know.... *pants* ya looked so hot today I almost couldn't get a hold of myself at dinner.... Ya really do look like one of those super hot models.... and those new pants... ya should be careful bein' here around me like that or else I could faint~"

"......... sO I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE BECAUSE I'M DRESSED LIKE A HOOKER-"

You both wheezed to death.

The end.

#anon #obey me #mammon #obey me mammon #obey me!#obey me swd #mammon x reader #mammon x you #mammon x gender neutral reader #mammon x mc

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itsryuworld · 2 years

Text

so mike loves eleven but he's in love with will, right?

i've seen so many post about it and i have to agree with it. i do believe mike loves eleven in a platonic way but not in a romantic way. we've seen the differences between m*lvn and byler so many times and that's pretty clear now. i'll go long here, so i'm sorry!

mike loves eleven because he idealize her as a superhero. he thinks she's awesome (bc he's a nerd) and he always talks about her powers to point it out. mike says she's de "most incredible person in the world" because of her powers, not as a person herself.

when eleven didn't had her powers in s4, mike seems to be scared of her when she defends against angela. she was violent and mike was scared of what she did. she wasn't "awesome" to him in that moment. he never tried to comfort her or said something to make her feel better bc without her powers she's not a superhero, she's a monster and mike doesn't like her at all.

in s1 mike took care of her and ofc he was worried once he knew some "bad men" were chasing her (same bad men could've done something to will, btw), but he never seemed romantically interested in her. the point of their interactions was her powers and how she could helped them to find will (he even said "she's a weapon" in that exact words). again, mike was amaze with eleven's powers, not her.

mike always put himself as inferior when he's talking with eleven, or about her. meanwhile she's awesome and a superhero, an incredible person… he's just some random nerd, a bullied middle schooler. that clearly means he doesn't think eleven and him are in the same page. she's better than him bc she has powers.

so, knowing that we can agree that mike idealize her and that's what he loves about her the most. when it comes to real life, mike doesn't like who she is. when max was trying to help her to find herself without mike or hopper's influence, mike was upset bc that would break his fantasy into something he can't control and eleven wouldn't be the person he wants but the person she really is.

and we know by now that they can't understand each other. everytime mike tries to explain her something, eleven doesn't get it. i really doubt eleven understood something about romance back then. in s1, eleven asked mike if he would be like her brother, why would she date her brother? their transition was weird af. mike might think dating a superhero is cool, but eleven didn't know about that. they weren't on the same page since the beginning.

on contrast with that, mike and will relationship is deeply bonded, they know each other since forever and are comfortable with each other. they're similar and share hobbies too.

since episode 1, we clearly see the difference between byler and the rest of the party. will refused to lie and told mike it was a seven. and later on, mike claims that he's the only one who cares about will, and decides to go to the woods to find him even when he supposed to wait at home. this parallels m*lvn in s2 when mike claims eleven's dead and never tries to go outside and look for her. mike, in the bottom of his mind, knows that eleven doesn't need him to be safe, but he knows will needs him so mike is determinate to find him no matter what. so, eleven is a superhero and can take care of herself, but will isn't, so he must save him, right?

mike knows will needs him, he tries to get will back with that scene in the shed. mike talks about the day they met each other, claims that asked him to be friends was the "best thing he ever done" and will claims that mike is the only one who treats him normal when everybody else was babying him. in the halloween scene they promised each other to be "crazy together" so, they're in the same page. they need each other in order to be happy. they understand each other.

when will was possessed by the shadow monster, mike told him that he could be like a spy for them, but when eleven spied on him in s3 he was upset to her. mike trust will even if he was possessed and he was scared at the idea of something could happen to him, but in s3 mike didn't trust eleven could save the world again on her own. he didn't trust in his superhero girlfriend, why? do mike trust his possessed boyfriend instead?

mike was the one to initiate the "crazy together" moment in s2 and then, in s3 mike tries to use it with eleven with the "blank makes you crazy" scene. that proves that mike sees that as a romantic thing. will understands, but eleven doesn't.

in s4, mike argue that he says "i love you" to eleven when she calls him out for not say it, and they had a fight about it. they can't communicate. later on, mike apologizes with will; "i didn't say it" and mike answers "you didn't have to" proving that they don't need to talk to understand each other. mike apologizes to will, not eleven. mike knew he was wrong and tries to make up with will.

in s4, mike pointed it out that meet eleven was "dumb nerd luck". this contrasts with the first day at kindergarten when mike approaches will in the swings bc they were both alone. mike decides to go to will and ask him to be friends, but he didn't decides to met eleven. mike was attached to will since their first met bc he was his first friend ever. mike was attached to eleven bc she was in danger and she needed someone. you notice the difference, right?

mike sees will as a person, but sees eleven as a superhero. mike sees will as an equal, but he sees eleven as a superior person to him. in his mind, eleven is amazing bc of her powers but will is amazing just bc he's will, he's his friend.

we can see it when they talk:

"you can't let those mouth breathers ruin you (ruin us)" "you're the most incredible person in the world" "you're my superhero"

"we'll go crazy together" "i think we should work together, i think it'll be easier if we're a team"

whenever mike talks about eleven it's always eleven by her own, but the moment that mike is talking to will it's always "them" "together" as one, as a romantic thing. that's clear when we see all that things mike didn't to for eleven, but for will:

mike went to the woods to find will and still believed he was alive even when they saw will's corpse, but didn't do it for eleven and claims her dead even if she gave him hints that she was out there.

eleven escaped the upside down by her own, but will was saved by mike who found him hiding behind the ladders in halloween.

when eleven "dumped his ass" mike wasn't in the bridge of depression, he was in the basement complaining about her behavior. but when he had a fight with will, mike biked in the middle of pouring rain to the byers's to apologizes to will. then, he inmmediatly went to castle byers to find him.

when mike was being an asshole in cali and will claims it was his fault, mike assure him it wasn't and told him hawkins wasn't the same without him. mike comforts him bc he knows will didn't do anything wrong, but he really never did that for eleven and she leaves lenora believing mike thinks of her as a monster.

the "crazy together" scene, the physical contact and lip glances, the heart-to-heart talks, the "we won't let him" scene, "are you okay, are you hurt?", even the "hawkins isn't the same without you" it suppose to be ROMANTIC MOMENTS but mike was there with WILL not ELEVEN.

mike loves the idea of eleven being a superhero, that's what he loves of her. but if you put her powers out of the table, what's left? they don't talk about themselves or their relationship. we haven't seen that. they were snogging and disrespecting hopper all summer, they were ignoring their friends, eleven was sending him letters full of lies, mike signed the letters with "from mike" not "love, mike", they had a fight in lenora about him not saying or writing "love, mike" and am i suppose to think they're a happy couple? uh, i don't think so.

i do believe they care for each other, i think they would be a fantastic duo of friends, but a romantic couple? no way. mike is platonic in love with her bc she's a superhero in his mind, bc she has powers, but doesn't care about her as a person, mike doesn't know her. in fact, he's scare of the idea of eleven being herself bc that might means he can't control her anymore and his "perfect straight boyfriend act" would fall apart.

on the other hand, that would've means that mike has to face his feelings for will. all this time, mike has been projecting his romantic feelings for will in eleven, bc she's a "acceptable version" of him. i mean, at this point is obvious that eleven and will are like twins, they really look alike and in s4 she wore his clothes too. mike lost will and found eleven, so he was projecting his feeling on her. in s1 he even told eleven he glad she come back home, his home? just like he did in s2 when he told will that and then we got the "crazy togther" scene?

so, yes. mike loves eleven, but that doesn't mean he's in love with her. i don't know yet if he's aware of that or not, but he always has been in love with will, even before eleven came to the picture. mike is scare of this feelings so he's trying to convice himself that he loves eleven in a romantic way, but he doesn't. mike is in love with will and he's always protective over him, he's always making romantic every interaction they had bc he doesn't think of him as a friend. and then, mike tries to do that with eleven, but she doesn't understand him. mike and will are on the same page, they understand each other without any talk.

i can't wait the moment these three kiddos understand this and became an amazing trio we deserve! eleven and will being a powerful twins, yes please. mike being the party leader we missed and the great friend he is, elmike being the chaotic and supportive duo of friends, and ofc, byler being the power couple they're meant to be.

thanks for coming to my ted talk, again.

#byler #mike x will #will byers #mike wheeler #byler is canon #byler is endgame #elmike #willel

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randomnameless · 2 years

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Y'know no one would give a hoot about Dorothea if she wasn't an open lesbian. Worst part of it all is that if she was a straight character she wouldn't be this loved. Funny, isn't it? When the whole point of her writing is to accept her for who she is no matter what. Her fans would never care about her if she was straight. Nice fans you got there, Dorothea. Seriously. When it comes to her, they'd either gush only about her sexuality 99% of the time or how cool she is in saying eff you nobles

Combining those Doro asks !

I think I had one scuffle with a "devoted fan" back then where they suddenly started to bring up sexual orientation arguments and what not and just -

I mean, people can like characters for all kind of reasons (look I disappointed an anon by saying I loved Di Maggio because he has a funny name) and if people like Doro because she's bi (I can't understand why people insist on erasing M/F relationships, is it to appear more progressive?) good for them!

But as you pointed out, when all of this admiration and love only shines because she loves women, you wonder if all this love and admiration is only tied to her orientation and nothing else. And while I fully confess I wouldn't give two shits about Di Maggio if he was called Robert, the behaviour and attitude of certain "devoted fans" using their love of Doro as a proof they're progressive or whatnot is really annoying.

(some "devoted fans" really counted the letters of "I hate Dorothea" and came to the conclusion it is a disguised way to say "I hate women"?)

Like, you wrote it yourself, some people love her because they think she's a lesbian, when Doro has support with enough romantic undertones with men to show that, no, Doro's not a lesbian.

(It's also part of why I personally HC Billy has M!Billy, to spit on certain "devoted fans" but also bcs of the "oopsie" factor for the supposed avatar of Sothis + it dunks on Jerry)

I think earlier this week I received an anon ask about Twitter and Rhea being paired up with Willy, and how it apparently grossed the OP (who HCs a lot about her, and makes nice fanarts!) out but, hey, headcanon whatever you want, steer your ship in the waters you can sail, even if Willy has a peepee, Rhea still saw him as a dear friend.

If the you love a character for your HC version of them, that is not canon compliant, can you even claim to love that character, or are you loving your OC?

Doro's POV on nobles is really puerile, and, not to look pedant, but something who never really had any interest in the topic could say while drinking a mojito.

Doro's still drinking her mojito in CF, SS, VW and even AG, so yep, what are we even supposed to take out from her? She loves mojitos, loves Supreme Leader, and doesn't care about the world, except when she has to use the "tried'n'true" taking care of orphans card, to show she's not completely heartless?

The "we killed Ferdie :'( " really pissed me off btw. Yes, we are killing people because Supreme Leader, and you never bring it to Supreme Leader that her war killed Ferdie, nope, it's just a "uwu sad" moment for one chapter, and it disappears afterwards for some "don't want to fight Supreme Leader :( "

It just pisses me off when Dorothea could have been Fodlan's Amalda - someone who genuinely thought and believed in her Emperor, only to be disillusioned and who decides to oppose him, even if her hands are dirty by saving/rescuing whoever she can.

#anon #replies #FE16 #3 nopes #character rant #salt #Doro #a perfect exemple of the BESF #I really think Doro should have been a CF exclusive #give Supreme Leader two lackeys but #even if it means lacking a mage in SS #just no Doro out of house

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zeenbean · 6 days

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the comic im working on

nobody likes my posts regularly what means that nobody checks them regularly so i cant use my commonly used and favorite phase "so how i was last time talking about" bcs nobody would get it.

anyway

so. im working on comic for a school competition and this is rlly weird story.

i was working with my friend(now referring to my older post, yes, she was that only friend im always talking bout. mainly in that school but that doesn't matter.) and she was supposed to write and me draw. easy to follow, right? so it was a month and no script was to be found. so, as i had ANOTHER friend (we started talking really recently) and i asked my teacher:

me: can i switch to another working partner, she isnt working and im getting more nervous about it. also m kinda scared to tell her T: yes, but i feel you with the confrontation. maybe you should try it trough text? me: okey thnx *after* me:hey im sorry that i have to do this, but im not gonna work with you on the comic, you arent responding to me when i ask bout the script and you wrote me the same rough text of the tory like four times and i just cant draw without the text. you can still get ur credit though(and the chocolate from italy i forgot to brought to you on your birthday{i got her something AND the chocolate but my dumbass left the chocolate at home}) pls dont kill me im sorry her:yea im still waiting till you tell me in what exact part of the story you want the dialogs and than it ALL MY FALUT yea thnx very much. me: hey pls im sorry. also when did you said to me you want me to tell me where should you write the dialogs?(also isnt that obvious){and i ghosted her for 10 hours bcs i was at ikea and too scared that ill give her seen and no answer} *she yapped bout how im acting like a child or something* *next day in school our teacher brought us to her cabinet so we can "talk this though"* AND THAN SHE STARTED YAPPING HOW WE ARENT THAT CLOSE AND SHE DOESNT WANT TO BE FRIEND W ME AND ACTING LIKE I EVER TOLD HER SOMETHING BOUT THIS😭

Okey now were fine but i accidentally called her bcs i was looking at what i wrote😭

also this isnt exacly how we talked bcs i had to translate it and im lazy but like😭

#comics #friend #help #drama #rant post #yapping #storytime

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futuregws · 3 months

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The only thing that I don't like about this narrative about Mag and Ln is that some crazy assed fans treat him like a child?! I don't know how many posts I've seen about this supposed relationship talking about how Ln should just run for the hills, or "not with her you don't know enough" like?????? He is a grown up and he knows exactly who his friends are and who his future gf is, no one needs to baby him just because he wants to hang out with someone that has allegedly cheated on her last bf.

And this narrative is so hypocritical, like is he allowed to have male friends that have allegedly cheated but not female (because clearly women are the fcking worst right)? People just really need a woman to hate on so it doesn't even matter if he is dating M or Lil or Oliv because they'll still get hated on...

Yes!!!

I don't support cheating from men or women so both are wrong, but clearly in this case people only care about her "cheating" bc they think she's dating him and she could cheat on him which is just like, bro stfu. Her cheating doesn't matter to him, you can't cheat on a friendship

#f1 gossip

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lapata-lupt · 4 months

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WHY????????????????

idk at some point it started with some confusion about not knowing what to think and also i really love people and attention so i would do anything for people validation. but then i kinda also didn't want to filter my friendships liek i had tried to around 15 16 based on that bc i started realising that it happens even if i oppose it, it's supposed to be this way and it's better this way cause like i have parents who support bjp even tho i will murder modi if i can? i have uncle and aunties and family members and neighbours i love but can never make understand about a lot of political issues and will always disagree with. no good humans or bad humans just humans with various experiences and we are all dumb. so why would i filter my friends. it's fine, we all learn and grow... i like it better this way. and i genuinely dont mind i see all points of views, even the ones yall somehwow act like can't be justified. no matter how bad it is it's human and i think we can all find it in ourselves to feel it. yall laugh and say u get murderers all the time, just because a couple people on tumblr said it too u think that's somehow ok but getting racism is somehow extremely inhumane? dont make sense to me. doesn't make any of it right but i get it. i can talk to u ab it. maybe learn and make u learn. if u hurt others actively it's bad i won't respect u that much wont be able to get close to u but doesnt mean i cant talk to u bond over other things idk. lot of times u bond over people u fundamentally disagree withs oemtimes bc u just dont come across so many thing until later. it's the nature of life it's fine. yeah i mostly agree with everything with my best friend, i think it plays major role in why we are close, but liek ngl now that i thinka b it she is mostly an apolitical person even tho my personality is all made around my political opinions and a few years back i always said i hated apolitical people... btu yeah when we talk she tends to agree with most of what i have to say. i dont think i would be able to have my closest friendships with like a super misogyniystic racist guy the way i am friends with my best friends i have rn, cause i think we wont have much to bond over yeah but idk i have some friends i love very much i strongly disagree with but it works somehow i think it's mostly cause they are willing to listen and we all share this 1 attitude of love even if we are all strongly opinionated and stuff i think m actually loosing my friendships with some of my high school friends even tho we agree on everything bc they have that whole i cant forgive u if u dont strongly think and argue everyone who disagrees about this 1 specific issue that actually has a shit ton of nuance fr

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sodascribbles · 8 months

Text

yet more honor among thieves rambling. im watching a playthrough lol

WHAT does bentley throw at dr. m is it a sleep dart why does it explode WHY DOES HE THROW IT

"Sly, no! Hold on, Sly-- hold on!"

an elusive picture of slys mom (just her silhouette tho next to connors) and a picture of who i can only assume is connor, mcsweeney, and dr m...........

THE HATS TOO BIG FOR HIMMM

the cooky-steelin' plan (sobbing)

pls imagine something eloquent about the fact that we never see what connor really looks like in these "flashbacks"- presumably bc sly doesn't remember

slys leg pouch doesnt fully wrap around his leg ?? might just be the lighting tho.

i wonder abt their sources how DID they find out abt murray

i love that Octavio is the guy they call old. not bison. who is from the 1800s

im obsessed with just abt all the villain backstories

this playthrough doesnt have the hazard room and im deeply upset about it. as a matter of fact i might find one that DOES bc i love the banter wkfhhehd

...when DO you get to the hazard room? its before u start Opera isnt it ?? unclear

i will not find one w the hazard room unfortunately but i have switched to a 100% run out of curiosity

gotta be honest Italy is probably one of if not my favorite episode ever

DIMITRI HI BBG

you've got some FUZZY DICE to come round here

MAIN MAN MURRAY the way he says it is so good

AW WHAT THIS PLAYTHROUGH DOESNT DO ALL THE SILLY OPTIONS (i mean i understand why i just like the silly options)

i love that the captions capitalize Bro

fun fact if you take too long crawling around carmelita will just repeat the presentation bc she doesnt think they were paying attention lmao

i love the apes(?) insulting each other. "You look a lot better in the dark, Petro. Seriously, you are an ugly, ugly man."

why does dimitri have a cigarette in a jail cell

"keep your HANDS to YOURSELF leon."

in love with the way dimitri talks, as we all are.

whys he call murray a Plump Dog though that's uncalled for /j

"HELLO ASSORTED MEATHEADS! and lady C:"

she tells her men to grab him and Nobody Follows

theres a couple hitches that happen in between games that im incredibly curious about, e.i. murray becoming The Murray between 1 and 2 and inspector fox going from her little smile and "ill find you, cooper!" to "she grew up and stopped taking grief from guys like you" that happens between 2 and 3

"You can't keep running for the rest of your life!" WATCH ME

"Greetings, old-- iNSPECTOR FOX?!"

murray's spiritual outfit model is so fascinating to me

AUDGJAHDHS they make me feel emotions /pos

the venetian safehouse fascinates me the door opens straight to stairs and the actual safehouse part is on the top floor

"now as non-law operatives, we can take a more... head on approach. wE'RE GONNA BREAK IN--"

OH WAIT ITS THE HAZARD ROOM HELL YEAH <<33

in love w them they're the best duo ever /hj

"hey, don't feel bad! those wall hooks were... kinda tricky!" "it was ALL supposed to be tricky!"

the ceiling of the hazard room is.... fascinating

theres always a certain level of. oh jeez what's the word. playfulness? between early game sly and bentley. it always kinda sounds like they're both smiling and joking around w each other and it warms my heart

this will not be the first time i talk about it

once more with the caption choices. on-line is hyphenated

YOU GET: A PRIZE!

bentley just kills a man.mp4

"Alright, smooth talker, try robbing this guy." see the above about their banter and their dynamic

though to be fair sly and bentley usually have a vague kind of playful/bantery vibe. it's just incredibly palpable during Italy, probably because they're the only two characters in the spotlight and therefore they get to be explored more

ok hold on im gonna get food b4 i continue

one food break later...

okay im back

"You're not gonna say 'I'm a lover, not a fighter,' are you?" "Well, not now." "Thought so."

in love w bentley just sending a man to murder sly

how DID they get all these guards into the hazard room. where is the hazard room

WBYS THE GUARD JUST SCREAM

bentleys voice when he says "now give this guy the business" send post

AND HE GETS SO EXCITED WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT THE BOAT. and sly sounds just So amused with his "yeah?" hes so used to this bullshit

i hope you're ready for me to talk ceaselessly about sly and bentleys dynamic it's my favorite thing snfnebbfd

"Against sleeping guards, I'm like a Greek god! All fall before me!" hes so silly i love him

nerves of steel?? you have no nerves of steel you silly anxious goob

AND HE GETS SO EXCITED ABOUT THE PPP (pick pocket pole)

sly ALSO murders a man

bentleys wheelies heart emoji...

THE HUMBLE RECON PHOTO!!

"There you go, Bentley, some wonderful pinups for our refrigerator." "They're lovely. High art!" "Seriously?" "No."

i love that murray shows up on the menu before you get him back that's so funny to me

huh. do you need all the upgrades for 100%? ill find out

"The Don is headed toward your position." "Great! Want me to take him?" "No!"

sly vc DO YOU WANT ME TO KILL THAT GUY FOR YOU? /ref

gotta be honest bentley i think killing him would also put an end to this nonsense

"Never thought we'd be helping out the cops." "Reaally? You always seem eager to aid Inspector Fox."

bentley and murray calling out slys crush on carmelita is my favorite thing wjfhwbdbwd

octavio singin as he goes azKEKFHWHDB THE PERSON JUST GOT CAUGHT LMAO

"I got a SHADOW, huh???"

SLY you NEED TO BE QUIETER you aLERTED OCTAVIO TO YOUR PRESENCE

octavio just bodychecked a dude lmao

i love how angry bentley gets about the fish tank especially he gets SO MAD i love him

"I- I can't believe it! He flooded that aquarium with tar! All those poor, dead fish! As much as I hate to see what heinous crime this fiend will do next, you should probably keep on his tail. Someday, the people will know the truth due to your pictures!"

"all those poor, dead fish!" LMAO

ok I've been on a ferris wheel exactly one (1) time but im like 95% sure the cart would tilt w/ sly hanging onto it

octavios captions are SO slow akdbhwhdbd

AND BENTLEY GETS SO MAD ABOUT THE FERRIS WHEEL. and then proceeds to call rewiring it "the dark side of electrical engineering"

bwa BWA <- the sly 3 job complete noise

i really hated Into the Depths on my first playthrough but that was mostly bc i was still bad at the game i think. it's really not so bad

what is it with the stupid 3d goggles WHY do they exist weve never seen them before and we never see them (w the exclusion of cutscenes and maybe one or two mentions) again

okay ive never messed up the doors in my life but im very glad bentley doesnt make fun of you for it i think id cry

also he does his idle animations while talking which means that sometimes he sneezes mid sentence and its really funny. bentleys idle animations are so good in general tho

bentleys and the ones from the safehouses

OKAY SO I DIDNT KNOW THIS UNTIL EARLIER TODAY BUT OCTAVIO CALLS 3 GUYS (mario, raphael, and julius) TO COME SEE HIM AND SAYS "if any of you catch these boys make a run for it [cat noise) shoot 'em in the back"

BUT WHEN YOU SEE IN HIS OFFICE THERES ONLY 2 DUDES. IMPLYING ONE GOT SHOT IN THE BACK .

OH HE SAYS JULIUS MADE A RUN FOR IT. OKAY ("julius made a run for it, and eh... [unintelligible]") i cannot for the life of me figure out what else he says there oops. maybe ill go replay that mission later and find out for sure

i know that's not particularly groundbreaking all things considered but again i didnt know it until earlier today so

once more Bentley getting excited about murder

"Synchronize watches, and..." you fuckin nerd

"Just as long as you're enjoying yourself, that's the important thing." again w the affectionate sarcasm

sly and bentley are both very sarcastic usually as opposed to murray who's pretty heart on his sleeve straightforward kind of guy which is probably why this ep & the hazard room sticks out so much for the banter. again bc its JUST the two of them lol

"Sorry, Sly, I guess the dinosaur has teeth!"

i love knocking the pigeons into fire it's so much fun

you get to hear the same "Intruders!" line like 17 times

fuckin piano computer lookin ass

i wish bentley and murray (and the rest of the team, but bentley and murray especially) had a little bit more... idk. reasons to free roam? like with the options of them as playable characters you would assume there would be more things tailored to their unique skillsets but a lot of getting around the overworld is very sly-focused, which i guess i get, but it means theres really no reason to play as the others except for missions

DESPITE KNOWING THAT ITLL ONLY MAKE THINGS HARDER BENTLEY GOING OUT OF JIS WAY TO HELP SLY SAVE CARMELITA bawling

bentleys such a fucking dork have i said that already i think we need to call more attention to him being a fucking dork

fun fact if you repeatedly tap □/r1 your gun will heat up slower BUT your finger WILL hurt by the end of it

haha they're cooper brother colored (blue, green, & pink/red)

though tbf most trios are if you think about it. but shh cooper brothers

"I hope you realize that by saving Carmelita, we're only making our operation here more difficult." "Maybe so, but what's the fun in stealing if there's nobody trying to catch you? Besides, she's helped us out in the past." "That, and you've got a thing for her." "...and I've got a thing for her. Look, I'll stash this boat, it might be useful for later. You stay out of trouble."

again, bentley and murray calling him out on his crush is priceless and i wish they did it more w bentley and penelope WLFJJWJDHE

okay funny story it's a few weeks later things happened anyway. going back to watching honor among thieves lol

ill probably split this post up into a few posts just so this one isnt 18 million years long

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