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#It just works too well with Steph and Cass
begaycommittreason · 1 month
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out of context things heard in wayne manor:
bruce: i understand, but pretending you cooked jerry the turkey is not a proportionate response to damian calling you a peasant again
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jason: look there’s a right way and a wrong way to make food. there’s also the bruce way, which is the wrong way except faster and worse
duke: *frantically scribbling notes*
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tim: do you think our relationship was kinda like incest now?
steph, horrified: never open your mouth in my presence again timothy
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dick: so then he’s like—guys. guys are you seriously signing about me in front of my face. i learned it too—hey i do NOT have a butt chin take that back—
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damian: i don’t understand, why does he wear such a ridiculous hat? is it like that margaret poppins woman grayson showed me?
tim, who watched the live action cat in the hat too much as a kid and is about to violently infodump: well you see-
dick: oh god it’s too late
jason: yeah the brats on his own for this one i’m not fucking dealing with that again
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bruce: are you lying?
tim: always. anyway, like i was saying—
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steph: hey what’s up with you and all the redheads
dick: …i’m not discussing this with you
steph, starting to chase him: gingervitus is a serious affliction! you cant run from this
dick, sprinting away: yes the fuck i can
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duke: so is anyone gonna talk about the elephant in the room…
dick:
dick: look i was feeling sentimental and zitka jr. really isn’t any trouble
damian: she is magnificent
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tim: so i dropped out and
duke: wait we can drop out of high school??!!?
bruce: NO.
duke: please bruce ap biology is beating my ass right now
jason: nah tim just got to drop cause bruce was dead and he’s a loser. the real problem is what you’re reading in ap lit right now, because i have thoughts on that curriculum—
duke: i’m not even gonna use half that material in the real world
tim: actually most of our villains have PhDs so their plans are based on pretty real science
duke: not helping timothy
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cass, signing: why are brothers on the ceiling?
jason: tims in timeout from working on his caseload
cass, still confused: yes but why taped to the ceiling
duke: listen if you know a better way of restraining his psycho ass then i’m all ears
cass: and damian?
jason: oh he saw this as free range target practice so he had to go up there too
cass: they are plotting revenge up there
duke: think of it as brotherly bonding
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damian: it’s not my fault he got in the way
bruce: you threw an eclair at lex luthor
damian: i was aiming for drake
tim: bruce we can’t take him anywhere
dick, holding back laughter: timmy you paid four separate people to come to the gala solely to ask lex if they could use his head to see if they had something in their teeth
tim: you have no proof that was me
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duke: look steph, it’s not that we don’t want to help with this
jason: i don’t want to help
duke: it’s more that i don’t think we can physically fit that many people in a shopping cart, and your whole plan kind of hinges on that
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alfred: i’m not mad, just disappointed in you.
every batkid, near tears: sorry alfred
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jason: HE HAD DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY AS THE FUCKING WHAT—
bruce: listen—
tim, mouth full and brain empty: the ambassador to iran. crazy right?
dick: tim please
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cannedinternets · 20 days
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Yanno, a thing i see a LOT in fics is that the Batfam think Danny is a meta, b/c ghosts don't exist. Which is valid, i mean they ARE a team of detectives with a shitton of wacky themed rogues and, at least on batman's part, a noted distaste for and disbelief in magic and the supernatural.
But bruce and tim have both worked with ghosts directly. (Maybe the others too? fuck there's a LOT of comics and animated series and-) So i think it would be much funnier if they think he's not a ghost, b/c Ghosts Don't Work That Way.
In fact, b/c Communication Is Not The Batman's Strong Suit, I think it's funny if all of them are wrong but for different reasons.
Bruce - has worked with Deadman. You can't see or interact with ghosts without magical outside intervention. Thinks Danny is a magic user who transforms a la Shazam/Captain Marvel.
Dick - Clown trauma? Mind control Trauma? One of your rogues tried to brainwash you to be his son/weapon? Damn kid you're like me if i had it even worse. Thinks Danny is a "regular" kid vigilante with a schtick.
Babs - Well the video evidence she can find deffo lines up with him being a super, but there's a hardcore blackout around his town, he doesn't legally exist, AND any outside info she runs into is usually cutoff by someone (tucker or technus depending), AND he's mentioned cloning. So he's probably a designer "cloned" (ugh dc that's not how cloning works) meta kid that's being taken advantage of by the government and/or cadmus.
Cass - Thinks Danny is a terrible liar (true) who is counting on the refuge in audacity to keep people from realizing what he is (also true). Thinks he's someone who got themed meta powers in a lab accident and is playing up the ghost thing b/c he fights ghosts constantly.
Jason - Glowing green eyes? Ability to manifest green constructs that look like they're made of goo? Constant death jokes? Aww, this dude is just another me but he is also a meta/somehow got anime girl powers out of getting dunked in the lazarus pits.
Tim - worked with Secret. Ghosts can fly, shapeshift, go intangible, teleport, posses people. Thinks phantom is an actual ghost that is possessing/overshadowing Danny, possibly consensually? He's looking into it. Ironically, is the closest to the truth.
Steph - Hasn't seen Danny do anything that the other bats can't do, and HAS seen him work on an engineering project for 16 hours straight. Thinks Danny is something like the bats, either under-powered or completely non-powered and makes up for it with tech and mystique. Also thinks Danny is a great ally in gremlinship.
Duke - his Ghost Sight does NOT play well with ghosts, ironically. Thinks Danny is some sort of eldritch horror with a human guise. He seems cool tho, Duke isn't gonna judge someone based on looks even if they do give him migraines.
Damian - thinks that Danny is a Pit Demon and you are all insane.
Jarro - thinks Danny is a Green Martian. Also thinks Danny is awesome.
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call-me-strega · 3 months
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Dc x DP Prompt #8: Best Friend’s Brother
Preface: this prompt can be used with different characters but I’m writing it as Dead on Main bc that’s my favorite. Also the colleges I mention are real colleges from the DCU
~~~
Danny Fenton was 18 when he moved to Gotham for college.
It was the only place with a half decent engineering program that would take a kid with his record; drop in grades, unexplained absences, missing class, a disciplinary record, etc. Plus there was a decent saturation of both magic and ectoplasm in Gotham’s air. After he got accepted he decided to tell his parents he was Phantom. They reacted surprisingly well all things considered. They were horrified to learn they’d been hunting their son but it quickly turned into acceptance to listen to what he had to tell them. Now they turned their obsession from hunting ghosts to learning more about ghost more humanely. He also managed to get his former rouges to agree to call off any major shenanigans in favor of less destructive outlets. (He got Ember a TikTok and a YouTube channel, he set up a drag racing circuit in the realms for Johnny and Kitty, let Technus enter the internet as long as he stayed within Amity’s grid or help Ember manage her stuff, allowed Desiree grant wishes for Make a Wish Foundation kids so long as she didn’t horribly twist them, etc.)
Now with the town not at constant risk of danger and his parents agreeing to really handle any rouge ghosts, Danny could leave Amity with a clear conscience. His friends were also growing up and heading to their own colleges. Tucker was heading to Ivy University in New England, which rivaled MIT in terms technological prestige, and Sam decided on Vandermeer University in Pittsburg, which had a reputation for being a very liberal, anti-authority campus. Although their trio would be spread out, Danny found comfort in the fact that they’d all moved from the Midwest to the Northeast.
With promises to stay in touch a visit. Danny got set up in GCU’s dorms, ready to move into the next chapter of his life.
~
Danny Fenton was 20 when Tim Drake (age 19 but nearing 20) officially became one of his best friends.
They had been introduced to each other by their mutual friend Sebastian Ives for a new Warlocks and Warriors campaign. Their friendship extended beyond WnW when they ended up on the same Applied Physics and Mechanics class. It was cemented when they got pair up for a project in class and had to spend lots of time around each other.
Danny didn’t mind that Tim tended to be a bit flaky and Tim didn’t mind that Danny was possibly not 100% human. They didn’t ask each other too many questions about that stuff. They knew the other had something odd about him and that was fine with them. It was nice to have a causal friend they could be normal with, without being questioned about their more peculiar behaviors.
They officially became best friends when the built a Rube Goldberg machine with a working trebuchet within an hour of the three they had to complete it for their Applied Phys-Mech final. Danny introduced Tim to Sam, Tucker and Jazz. Tim introduced him to Steph, Tam, and Cass. They texted and hung out fairly often. They truly did consider each other one their best friends.
~
Danny Fenton is 22 when he meets Tim’s family.
Tim’s 21st birthday is coming up and he has plans with his family the day of and is going out with his friends, including a couple from out of town, that night. They want to take him out for his first drink and it’s fortunate timing since it’s the weekend so nobody has to worry about classes. Everyone who was going was already informed that Tim would be spending most of the day with his family before Steph and Cass would bring to the club everyone was meeting up at. Which is why it’s purely a coincidence when he runs into them at BatBurger during the lunch rush.
Danny had just picked up the part-time job to earn a little extra cash to pay for his hobbies. Tim new about it but didn’t know the exact location he worked. That’s why they were both presently surprised when they heard each others voices in the drive through. When they pulled up to window Danny saw his friend leaning over a tired looking black-haired man, trying to stick his head out of the drivers window to give Danny a maniacal grin.
He quickly introduced the other passengers of the car as his dad, Bruce, and three of his brothers Dick, Jason, and Duke. He mentioned he had a fourth brother, Damian, who was still at home. Danny couldn’t really see everyone all that well on account of they were inside a car but he happily greeted them as well. They laughed and Danny wished Tim a happy birthday saying he’d see him at his celebration later tonight before handing them their food. He could the rowdy boys ribbing their brother as the car drove away and Danny resumed his work.
That incident seemed to have opened a gate because now Tim felt more comfortable inviting him over when his brothers were still around the house. He occasionally talked about his family more and Danny returned the favor letting snippets of his own family spill a little more. Occasionally, he’d see Tim’s family outside of his interactions with Tim.
He’d run into Damian, and sometimes Bruce or Dick was with him, at the museum or in the park while the younger had been walking his dog and stopped to say hi a couple of times. He chatted with Dick a couple of times when they were both in line to get coffee at a cafe. He saw Duke on a college tour once and waved at him.
The family member he probably saw the most other that Tim (and by extension Cass) was actually Jason. He’d ended up ditching BatBurger to get some more practical experience at an apprenticeship at the auto shop Jason went to to get his motorcycle serviced. The two of them got along pretty well and would often make conversation when Jason was waiting on his bike to be ready or to get his bill.
At first is was small talk about little things like how he and Tim were doing in class or how their days were going but they soon grew to have genuine interests in each other. Jason let Danny talk about space and mechanics and even gave his own thoughts sometimes, once helping Danny realize he was over complicating the circuit board of the device he was building. In return Danny let Jason ramble to him about literature, even taking the initiative to read a book Jason mentioned so he could talk to him about it better. Their conversation tended to be on the briefer side but were always enjoyable to both parties.
Danny actually liked being around Jason a lot but didn’t really bring that fact up a lot around Tim as it didn’t seem necessary. Tim was pretty glad that Danny got along with his family but he preferred to keep them in separate places in his mind. Danny knew and respected that, only really mentioning that he’d seen them recently and that they’d told him to say hi on their behalf (or die in Damian’s case occasionally).
~
Tim Drake was 22 when he came to a horrific realization.
Well, perhaps horrific was a bit of an exaggeration. Tim wasn’t necessarily horrified by the revelation. In all honesty he didn’t know how to feel. He felt an odd mixture of protectiveness, possessiveness, confusion, and optimism(?).
You see, Tim and Danny had been hanging out in the campus center, studying and goofing off when he got a text from Jason saying he was coming to pick him up for family dinner at the manor since he was closest and Dick was busy picking up Duke and Damian from their after school clubs.
“What’s up?” Danny asked him curiously.
Tim set his phone on the table and started putting his stuff away. “My brother is coming to pick me up for family dinner so I gotta head out soon.”
“Ah well I should probably get going too. Tell Dick I said hi.”
“Actually, it’s Jason. Dick is picking up Duke and Damian,” he said shoving his textbook into his bag.
“Oh? That’s nice of him. Hey do you wanna just head out together?” Danny asked, fidgeting with his hoodie strings.
Tim noticed a slight strain in Danny’s voice at the mention of Jason but didn’t comment. He just nodded his head sure and walked outside with Danny. They got out to the street when Tim realized he’d left his phone in the library. He faced palmed and asked Danny if he could hold his stuff so it wouldn’t slow him down as he ran back to the campus center to get his phone. Danny agreed to and hold his stuff and wait for Jason while Tim went back.
After getting his phone Tim started heading back to where he left Danny when he saw that Jason had arrived that Jason had arrived and was talking to Danny. He was about to call out to them when he noticed several things in quick succession. Danny was fidgeting with his hoodie, something he tended to do when nervous. The tips of Danny’s ears were a light shade of pink (it isn’t cold out yet?). Danny looked deeply absorbed in his conversation with Jason in a way that reminded Tim of how he talked about space. And Jason seemed just as absorbed in the conversation as well.
The gears in Tim’s head went into overdrive and he realized ‘Ah- Danny has a crush on Jason’. His eyes widened as his head whipped around to examine Jason again. He saw a look of genuine fondness in his eyes. Thus Tim was confronted with the aforementioned horrific realization and complicated feelings. Tim didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or both.
‘My dumbass best friend has a crush on my brother. And worse(?), my idiot brother returns those feelings.’
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fandom-lover-extra · 9 months
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DC X DP: Taking The Cake - Dead Tired
This had to take the cake.
Tim had noticed a couple of odd things about his boyfriend.
One: His boyfriend had an unusual cold temperature-- Tim had originally assumed it might just be because he had poor circulation in his blood stream. But as winter creeped in and his boyfriend still didn't get cold? Not only didn't get cold, but thrived in the temperature? Tim considered just maybe his boyfriend was a meta.
Danny had never mentioned being a meta. But Tim hadn't mentioned being Red Robin either. Not to mention, this was Gotham, so Tim understood why Danny may be a tad apprehensive as to mentioning his colder temperatures.
And if Tim kept the thermostat at a lower temperature from then on any time Danny came to visit? Well, that was his business and nobody else's.
Two: His boyfriend was abnormally quiet. Danny had managed to sneak up on Tim and a few of his family members before. He had managed to sneak up on Cass. And while, on some level Tim could understand his family's apprehension, he felt telling them to promptly 'f*ck off' had also been justified. Tim knew Danny, and Danny genuinely hadn't meant to sneak up on them. 
He had seemed just as startled as them when they shot up in surprise. (And maybe he did ask Cass if Danny was genuinely surprised. His boyfriend was a little sh*t and would totally pull something like this to laugh at. It was his business and Cass's and as far as the two of them were concerned, Danny was perfectly fine.)
Three: Danny was oddly protective. He freaked out anytime there was a Rogue attack and he hadn't heard back from Tim. And while Tim was touched, he hadn't exactly appreciated the mini heart attack he received when he saw Danny out in the field looking for him in a panic.
(That was one of their first big fights. Tim didn't want Danny out in the line of fire, he could take care of himself. Even if Danny didn't know that. But Danny had been just as insistent that he needed to hear back from Tim to know that he was safe.)
They'd reach a compromise. Tim made sure to always respond to Danny's text messages asking if he was safe during a major rogue attack. (Never any phone calls. Danny would know he was lying then.) And he would put up with Danny coddling him the next time he saw him. While it was a bit frustrating, Tim was still touched by the worry.
Four: Danny had enhanced senses. At first, Tim didn't really notice. But eventually, he saw how Danny would flinch at particularly loud noises. Would avoid crowds like the plague. Would sometimes have to wear sunglasses because it was "too bright". Tim never said anything. Never called attention to any of these occurrences, just attempted to help his boyfriend through it.
Tim knew it was a possibility that Danny was just sensitive to those types of things. But considering Tim was sure that Danny was some type of meta, he was leaning more towards that theory.
Five: His boyfriend was unusually strong for someone that looks as much like a twig like him.
Once when Tim had been injured particularly badly during patrol, he had practically been put on bedrest. Not because he hadn't attempted to go out the next night, but because Danny had found out he was injured and came to take care of him while he was injured.
When Tim had attempted to sneak out that night, luckily he had yet to change into his Red Robin suit, Danny had basically manhandled him back into bed. With absolutely no effort, even with Tim struggling against him. Not that Tim had struggled much, with how frazzled his brain had been when he realized that Danny was stronger than he realized.
And if Tim invited Danny to the gym next time he worked out? Well, that didn't have any ulterior motives, no matter what Steph insisted upon.
And now for number six. This took the absolute cake. The last thing Tim had expected. And at this point? Tim wasn't so sure that Danny was actually even human. Which means he would have to completely scrap his theories on his boyfriend and start over from scratch.
Because right now, Tim and Danny were cuddled up on the couch in Danny's apartment. They were having a series marathon of the Star Trek series. It had started out perfectly fine. It had started out as normal.
A weighted blanket on top of the two, Danny cuddled up to Tim, with a bowl of popcorn in-between the two. Eventually, they shifted. The bowl of popcorn ending up on the floor with Danny on top of Tim on the couch.
Absentmindedly, Tim began running his fingers through his boyfriend's hair, not really paying attention to the background noise of the TV. He was just so warm and felt safe with the added weight of Danny on top of him. The movements of his finger's being just as much as a soothing motion to Tim as it was to Danny.
And at first, Tim hadn't noticed it. Not when he was slowly drifting off to sleep. But as the sound got louder, Tim couldn't help but notice. Danny was purring. 
Tim blinked and he blinked again. Not once stopping in his ministrations as he blanked out. Danny continued purring away, leaning into Tim's touch, his eyes closed and a content smile on his face. Tim couldn't help but be reminded of an overly affectionate cat. Especially when he rubbed the space around Danny's scalp and ears, Tim was convinced the was purring louder than the sound coming from the TV at this point.
So maybe he wasn't human after all. Maybe Tim should have given more weight to Damian's alien theory.
But right now, Tim was tired, and he was sure he would remember in the morning.
In the end, Tim allowed Danny's presence to send him off into a warm and comfortable sleep.
(And if Tim proceeded to take apart his theory board and contemplate just how to ask his boyfriend about the fact that he wasn't human? Well, that was his business and nobody else's)
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incorrectbatfam · 5 months
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Do the batfamily members ever get too into their undercover work? (Undercover in an office and theyre worried about spreadsheets, working in a warehouse and coming home complaining about missing parts)
Bruce: Status updates on your undercover missions. Dick, you first. What have you got down at the docks?
Dick: I haven't confirmed the Killer Croc sightings yet, but more importantly, our catch hasn't been measuring up to last year's. Tuna we're doing okay on, but the salmon population seems to be on the low end. I've contacted the Department of Wildlife and Fisheries but it'll be another 3-5 business days before they can come down and check it out.
Bruce: At least you're doing something to help. Jason?
Jason: Class was okay. I think the kids are warming up to me as their substitute while Mrs. Maloney is out on maternity leave. The average on the last vocabulary quiz was 83.53% so either I'm doing my job right or they need to be challenged. I'm worried about Tristan Lancy, though. He's normally a good student but his grades have been dropping recently and his parents don't seem like safe people to tell. I'll talk to him tomorrow and try to pair him up with a peer tutor if he needs it.
Bruce: Also see if he has any alternate contacts besides his parents. Tim, any updates at the chemical plant?
Tim: If by updates you mean OSHA violations, I could go on all week. We got a batch of new recruits today and they were just thrown into the work—no PPE, no safety training, nothing. This is what happens when you place production over employee well-being. I'm gonna file a complaint after this meeting. Also, I think the union will have something to say about the manager cutting people's lunch breaks short.
Bruce: I see. Damian? Please tell me you found something volunteering at the zoo.
Damian: Depends on how you define "found." While I have not obtained evidence of a mutant larvae black market, I did help some of the animals at the sanctuary make progress with their recovery. Bobo the monkey is healing from his broken arms and we're gradually getting him re-acclimated to climbing higher surfaces. Suzie the black bear was born a little prematurely but seems to be catching up to her peers in terms of growth. Lastly, we got a grant for additional wildcat research and enrichment. As an aside, we are having an educational seminar on European mountain goats this Friday at 3:30 and I expect all of you to be there.
Bruce: I'll put that on our calendars. Steph?
Steph: It's not really undercover work for me, just work. Anyway, yes the newest Batburger location is being used for money laundering. But I really need to vent about the customers for a sec. We don't open until 10 and at 9:30 this morning some moron was banging on our door demanding Jokerized cheese fries. Then right in the middle of the lunch rush, Janie got sick so I had to fill in as the cashier and it was hell. After that, I had to step in between a fight at the drive-thru because the customer claimed we only gave him nine pieces of his ten-piece Robin nuggets and tried to beat up the kid who took his order. And to top it all off, an entire high school hockey team came in five minutes before closing.
Bruce: Cass?
Cass, blowing balloons: Can't talk. Arranging bat mitzvah.
Bruce: Duke, you're my last hope.
Duke: Margie's bringing a peanut butter chocolate cake to the bake sale. I swiped her recipe and we can easily beat her. Her ganache is way too watery and just runs off the top of the cake, which isn't even leveled. She's also trying to do something with a raspberry filling that isn't working at all. It's like she couldn't decide on what to bring. The bake sale committee also asked if we can bring some apple pies because the original baker has to go out of town for a family emergency. I think we'll win if we bring them with some ice cream and a touch of caramel, even though this isn't a contest.
Bruce: Thank you. At least our most critical case has been taken care of.
Barbara: ...I'll save my book launch for later.
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alyakthedorklord · 8 months
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Bat Poker Face Training
Dick, Steph, Cass, Tim, and Jason all crammed into someones room, with a kidnapped Duke sitting awkwardly with them, kinda scared.
Duke: “Uh… what’s going on?”
Steph, completely blank faced and standing ominously in the corner: “It has come to our attention that you require training.”
Duke: “Bruce is already teaching me really well-“
Jason, also blank faced: “That’s bat training. This is robin training.”
Cass, carefully but without a single emotion: “Sibling training.”
Dick, face just as blank as all his other siblings: “It’s much more fun.”
Duke, freaked out by the empty faces: “Am I being hazed?”
Jason: “Eh, maybe. Scared?
Tim, not giving Duke a second to reply: “Yes, he is. It’s written all over his face. And while its okay to be scared, sometimes hiding your true emotions in the field is a matter of life, death, and secret identities.”
Dick: “You’re going to be flustered. Humiliated. Terrified. Angry. Relieved. Your vigilante ID dragged through the mud in front of you as a civilian. Someone worried about your civilian ID and you need to keep them away.“
Tim: “Not just as a Bat, but a Wayne. Some dinosaur at a gala is going to say the most out of pocket thing you’ve ever heard in your life and you’ve just got to stand there.”
Duke: “So that’s the reason you’re doing the creepy thing?”
Steph: “Yes Duke. You need to have a poker face that Even Superman can’t break. That even a Fifth-dimensional Imp can’t crack! And that is the purpose of our training tonight!”
Duke, getting the program now: “Okay. I’m ready.”
Jason, allowing a creepy grin to slide over his face: “Don’t be so sure. Because what we are about to show you… it has broken Batman.”
Dick: “Damian is too innocent to see it, which is why he isn’t here.”
Steph: “If you can handle this, you can handle anything.”
Tim, tapping on his computer, chanting under his breath: “the horrors, the horrors, the horrors…”
Duke, terrified of what Tim is about to pull up, on the edge of his seat wondering what on earth can shake the Bat of Gotham, what the family considers too awful for thier arguably LEAST innocent member to see, what vile images he’s about to be shown…
Tap. The screen lights up white.
Duke: “No.”
Jason, grin widening: “We’ll be reading this aloud, for your entertainment.”
Duke, trembling and inching towards the door: “No.”
Steph, vice grip on Duke’s arm: “There’s no escaping it, Signal. This is your mission- to stay completely pokerfaced through Real Person Fanfiction of us- the Batfamily. And co, of course.”
Duke, sobbing: “Please, why… why would you do this to yourselves… oh god, is that… is that… is that Kate with Bruce? She’s a lesbian! And his cousin!”
Steph: “They don’t know that, Duke. They know nothing. And the depths of a human imagination is comparable to the depths of the ocean… there’s some weird shit down there.”
Tim, without a single emotion on his face, least of all mercy: “I had to sit through Young Justice fawning over Dick and Bruce. Do you know what they said? About my own father figure? Right in front of my salad? I was lucky I was wearing a mask. I cried, and I cried in silence. They knew NOTHING, because I showed nothing. This is what you must achieve.”
Jason: “I’ve had to listen to criminals talk about what they’d do to the ‘Prince of Gotham’ and not twitch. I’ve had to listen to both goons and civilians play fuck marry kill with our vigilante identities and not move a muscle. I know this feels like overkill, but trust me, it’s not.”
Dick: “Don’t worry, we’ll keep it mostly PG. Tim? Begin with the wildly out of character and aggressively heteronormative Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman love triangle. Then maybe we’ll work our way up to slash readers and…” shudders in horror, “…batcest.”
Duke: “NOOOOOOOO!!!”
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satoshy12 · 2 months
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Furry Bruce Wayne? 
Jasmine Fenton was the babysitter that Bruce had found and liked, and she worked for him. She was pretty good at taking care of the Batchildren, and the payment was good for Jazz university loan.
It was just bad luck that Jazz found the Batcave. 
Jazz saw the Batcave, and the costume did meet with Bruce Wayne.  Who first thought he would try to talk with her about all of this and the secret?  Only for her to scream at him about being furry and how he can let his children that young join his hobby! It's bad for them as they grow up!! Well, on one side, she doesn't believe he is Batman, and his family  otherwise She thinks we are all furries and wants to make sure the kids grow up healthy and do not see things that way at their age!
Bruce did plan C. He grounded all his kids at home as Jazz made a 4-hour lecture ready for their lives and how they should be careful, and no, they aren't birds, so they can't fly.  Damian really wants to leave... at least Tim, Jason, Drake, Steph, Cass and even Dick have to listen to this too.
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qcomicsy · 1 year
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The Office but it's the Batfamily.
Bernard (To the camera): I think Bruce hates me.
---
Bruce (to the camera): I am very glad Tim, found himself dating someone. I don't think there's someone who would ever be enough to any of my children.
Bruce: But he is happy. So I am happy as well.
---
Bernard, invited over to dinner: That's. . . Um, A very nice mansion you have here sir. Really big. Big enough to hide an secret passage to clones but–
Tim, gesturing to him to shut the fuck up: HAHAHAHA ISN'T HE FUNNY?! (whispering) ᴮᵉʳⁿᵃʳᵈ ᴵ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ.
Bernard: WhichI'mnotimplyingyoudoanyway. But– IT'S NICE. Really nice. Thanks for uh inviting. . . Me.
Bruce, glaring: Hn.
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Bruce (to the camera): Dick told me to make a "chit-chat". Be sure that our guest felt welcomed.
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Bruce (to Bernard): Did you gave it a thought about your internship yet? When I started medical school I had a great interest on how Gotham's Hospital deals with post mortem patients.
Bernard:
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Bruce (to the camera): I tried to find a common ground to make conversation. We both had similar majors, even though I've drop out
Bruce: I'm glad it was enough for a good starter.
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Bernard (to the camera horrified): He wants me dead.
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Dick (to the camera): HOW WOULD I KNOW HE WOULD PULL UP THE SERIAL KILLER TALK??–
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Steph (to the camera): There's something really uncanny in seen it happen to another person.
Steph: And also really fucking funny too.
---
Kory (to the camera): The first time I got there I'm pretty sure was the time he made a contingency plan for me.
Kory: Which is cute. He thinking it would work but– Yeah.
---
Barbara (to the camera): Me and Dick? Oh he stopped talking to me for several weeks.
Barbara: When he did, he said "You are making a mistake".
Barbara:
Barbara: Don't you hate when he is right?
---
Kon (to the camera): I wasn't aloud to enter the house– I when I dated Cass, so–
Kon: Not that stopped me. But it still hurts.
---
Cass (to the camera), shrugging: I liked his piercings.
---
Bernard: . . . I didn't– Yet. No sir. I'm just, huh. . . Going with the flow?
Bruce: That's unfortunate. It's really important to always have a plan.
Bernard (gulps): You think?
Bruce: Yes. You never know what might happens next.
---
Damian (to the camera): It was the best dinner I've ever attended in this house.
---
Tim (to the camera): *Loud sight* I don't know what I was expecting.
---
Jason (to the camera): Are we really just going to pass on how his boyfriend looks like a knock off Scooby-doo member?
Jason: Like he is rocking a StarStruck haircut– And we just?– Okay.
---
Dick (to the camera): I mean it's not like Bruce is doing on purpose right?
---
Bruce, grinning to the camera: Hn.
---
Duke (to the camera): Oh he's absolutely doing on purpose.
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kimberly-spirits13 · 11 months
Text
How the Batfam Reacts to Dick and Jason Dating a Black Widow HC
Dick:
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• He met you on a mission where you were partnered together
• Dick immediately recognized the emblem on your suit showing that you were a Widow
• He was suspicious at first thinking that you were still with the organization until he heard you talking about it
• “Dreykov stood no chance against the freed widows.” He heard you explaining to Wonder Woman, “I hope that they’re doing well on Themyscira”
• He knew that if you were in cahoots with Diana, you must be sound
• When you were on the mission, you started talking a lot
• You thought he was funny and charming and he thought you were smart and witty
• Dick liked that you could handle yourself in situations and that you had grown from everything that had happened to you, not crumble from it
• When the mission was over, you two exchanged numbers
• One day, a few months later, you texted him and said that you were looking to move to Gotham
• You wanted to know if he’d go look at apartments with you since he knew Gotham better
• He was so excited and despite him trying to play it cool, everyone knew that he was up to something
• He made the excuse that Wally was doing some apartment shopping and wanted to hang out that week
• Let’s be honest, when you find your apartment you probably hook up or have a Disney binge night
• After a wild weekend, he heads back to the manor and is glowing
• Always on his phone
• Is in a good mood
• Sneaks off during patrol
• The works
• Everyone knew that he must be dating someone, it was so obvious
• When everyone finally finds out that he’s dating a Widow, it’s because they follow him to your apartment
• He’s there to work on some detective stuff that was going around in Gotham
• You had your monitors set up and your suit laying over the sofa when Tim, Jason, and Steph broke in through the window
• You pushed Dick behind the coach, rolling to take cover while you drew a Glock that was tucked in your waistband
• “Stand still, hands where I can see them!”
• “Y/N/N, those are my siblings!” Dick said tackling you, “idiot siblings at that”
• “You’re dating a Widow?!” While Jason still had his helmet on, his sense of surprise was evident
• “You’re dating a Widow and you called her by a nickname?” Steph gawked, “Never in all my days-“
• “You guys can’t tell Bruce!” Dick said frantically, “Tim don’t you dare touch that com”
• “Too late.” Damian came into the apartment, giving it a once over and glaring at you, “So this is the distraction that has been plaguing Grayson.” “Is he paying you to court him?”
• Bruce came into the apartment later to haul his kids out after they had basically interrogated you about life and how you and Dick were dating
• Bruce was suspicious of you at first, as he is, but after a few weeks, you were invited to patrol with everyone
• You and Jason trauma bonded and shot guns together
• Cass and Damian liked you since you were an assassin, and a skilled one at that
• Steph liked you cause you were pretty and badass
• Babs and Timmy thought you were intelligent and a good friend to have
• Bruce and Alfred eventually come around, Bruce likes that you’re loyal and intelligent
• Alfred likes that you’re not a crazy clout chaser
• Everyone adjusts really well to you quickly, and you easily become part of the family
Jason:
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• You two met while you were rehabilitating on Themyscira with Diana as your mentor
• You and Artemis had quickly become friends and she had you come with her on a mission
• You needed something at a faster pace that you could exercise your skills with
• Artemis introduced you to Jason and you two hit it off quickly
• She noticed this and had you two paired up for a mission
• She’s not Artemis anymore y’all, she’s Cupid/ Eros and she just shot Jason Todd in the butt with an arrow
• He’s so gushy over you
• Puppy dog eyes and everything
• At first he’s like, it’s got to be the Russian accent
• But after a few hours, he knew it definitely wasn’t the accent
• When you’re still living at Themyscira, he asks Artemis to take you on as many missions as possible so that he can see you
• When you’re finally done living on the island, he’s the first to offer a new place
• Wants you to live at once of his safe houses in Gotham
• You would accept the offer but you already had gotten an apartment
• Jason was so depressed about it until you told him that it was in Gotham
• “What- you’re like my only friend. I’m not moving to LA or something.” You told him
• He was just puppy eyes and gushy
• Everyone saw a change in his demeanor and they were suspicious of what was going on
• Steph and Dick followed him one night to your apartment where they saw you in your widow suit and him in his red hood suit eating messy burgers and fries
• His boots and helmet were strewn about on the floor and weapons were littering the kitchen table
• He probably has his head in your lap at one point for you to string your fingers through your hair
• They’re both excited and rush back to the cave to spill the beans
• A few days later Dick tells Jason that he should invite his new gf over
• “You dickhead how’d you know about that! We’re you stalking me?”
• Maybe Dick was
• When you showed up to the manor, Damian immediately challenged you to a sparing duel
• Everyone but Jason was hesitant and when you landed the kid on his butt he was beaming with joy
• That’s when you earned Cass and Tim’s respect
• Damian liked you now too, but he wasn’t going to admit it after that beat down
• Bruce got to know more about you mainly from Diana
• Since he trusted her, it was easier to not be so suspicious about you
• Alfred liked you since you brought out the good in Jason and you were good help when he needed it
• The entire family ends up liking you really quickly, but you have to start setting boundaries about them coming and crashing in your place at some ungodly hour of the night
• Sometimes, the last thing you want to see at 4am is Dick Grayson sprawled out on the coach with his dogs out
• Jason is always welcome though
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rboooks · 10 months
Text
DC X DP fic: Legal Compensation
Bruce Wayne doesn't know what sick monster would think it is funny to ruin Jason's grave, but when an alert arrives at the cave, he's flying towards the cemetery intending to find out.
And teach them some respect.
Of course, he knows Jason's not in there- not after his son returned with more hate and rage than a person- but it was still his last resting place.
He barely acknowledges Tim and Damian pulling up beside the Batmobile, each on their own bike while Dick, Steph, and Cass fly above him. They all got the alert. None of them are happy.
When they arrive, it's to see a teenager happily whistling as he shovels away layers of dirt. The stranger is in a white and black hoodie, a neon green ghost crossing from the front to the back, and his white hair with glowing green eyes lets them know it's not a human.
Or if it is, then not an average human. Meta, based on how he picks up way more dirt than he should be able to lift with his glowing green shovel.
They also see Jason get there first, his eyes glowing in Pit Rage and .points a gun to the back of the teenager's head. Bruce opens his mouth to shout, Damian manages to throw a ninja star, but they are far too late.
Jason pulls the trigger. A large bang is heard across the cemetery. The teenager drops into the deep hole he is making.
The family can only watch as the Pit Rage disappears from Jason's mind, and horror creeps onto his face as he realizes what he has done. It's too late now, though. The child is dead.
Bruce feels sick to his stomach- and then The teenager stands up, his head reforming in terrible familiar green liquid. The family forms a protective circle around a frozen Jason as the teenager turns around to look at them with Lazarus' green eyes and smiles.
Smiles at Jason with far too bright eyes. "I found you! I didn't realize you already left your grave, but that makes things easier. Jason Peter Todd, yes?"
"Who are you?" Bruce demands, stepping before his second oldest.
The white hair boy's smile becomes wider- if that's possible. "I'm Phantom. I'm working on behalf of the Ghost King."
Damian hisses, "What does the most powerful being in the multiverse want with Todd?"
"Baby Bat?" Dick asks without really asking.
"The Ghost King is the ruler of the Infinite Realms. The place where grandfather harvests the Lazarus Pit."
That's not good.
The teenager laughs. "The very same. He wants me to offer Legal Compensation to Mr. Todd."
"Legal Compensation? For what?" Tim asks this time.
"The glitch. See, Mr.Todd wasn't supposed to die- he was supposed to break the door and crawl to safety while the bomb jammed. At the same time, the Master of Time was preoccupied with another dimension saving the lives of six very important people to the Ghost King from a junk food explosion. Because of that, he was not there to control time correctly, creating a glitch in this universe's time flow. It speeded up certain areas, in your case, the location of the bomb's jam, making it explode earlier than it should have. He corrected it by bringing you back, but you were in a grave by that point. The Master of Time realized the grave injustice this was, so he sent me as legal Compensation."
That.... was a lot.
"How are you legal compensation?" Jason growls.
"Well, those people were just as important to me as the Ghost King. Since you lost your life due to the incident, I will give you my natural life here as a human for you to use." The teenager's form shifts after an ample bright light, and suddenly they are looking at a perfectly black hair blue eye average looking human who smiles happily at them. "Ta-da! So what do you want me to do first, Master Todd?"
"No." Jason hisses, looking angrier than he's ever looked before. Bruce can't say he doesn't feel the same way. "No, the Master of Time does not get to kill me. Go oopsie-daisy and then send me a fucking slave as an apology!"
"Not a slave- more of a- ugh Bulter!" The teenager argues, trying to crawl out of the hole and falling down, into a heap as he oversteps. "Wow, being a full human is going to get some getting use to."
"No!" Jason yells, turns around, and walks away.
"Wait! Wait! Master Todd, wait for me!" The teenager calls desperately, but Jason disappears into the shadows of Gotham without a backward glance. The boy slides into the mudd, voice muffled as he screams.
Steph takes pity on him offering her hand to help him out of the hole. "What's your name, by the way?"
"Phantom." The teenager says with a grateful smile taking the hand and climbing out. He gives the rest of the family an awkward smile "Danny Phantom"
Bruce ends up with another son by the following day. Jason ends up with a restless wanna-be butler who follows him everywhere, trying to serve him. The fact he cure his Pit Madness didn't seem to even register with him.
Jason wants Danny to leave him alone and quit the "I must spend the rest of my human life providing for your every whim". It's getting creepy.
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flamingpudding · 11 months
Text
Part 5 of Ghost Kid in Gotham
For those that ask, yes an AO3 link is in the works. I will post it once its ready. Also fair warning, I will be focusing on DPxDC Family Week now so I have no idea when the next part will be up.
<<1 Previous Next
Thrill and chirp brother
Tim sipped on his n-th cup of specially made Tim-brand-not-Alfred-approved coffee as he shuffled into the dinning room and sat down on the breakfast table. The moment he sat down he opened the laptop again and stared at its screen for a couple of seconds. The scan of the post-it note got nothing. None of the squiggles was recognised in any of the so far known languages. Hell he even ran it through the leagues recordings of interdimensional and interplanetary known languages. No hits so far. Right now he was running a picture recognition program to see if any of these had appeared before it was on 90% with nothing found so far.
Good he hoped this really was just a prank from Cass and Steph. Because if it wasn't, Bruce would go nuts and overly paranoid as well as up the entire Manors security system a third time this month. Sadly, despite his hope, Tim knew that it wasn't a prank.
A cough resounded behind him and Tim blinked two times before sighting, closing the laptop and pushing it only a couple of inches away from him as Alfred put a plate with his breakfast before him. Knowing Alfreds rules about work at the table he would better not touch it again for now.
"Replacement, you look like the dead walking. Did you even sleep last night?" He glared at his brother before he blinked taking in his surroundings before his eyes rested on little Danny.
Tim could see that all of them, despite barely knowing the kid for a couple of hours, had already become attached to Danny. It didn't help that they had discovered Lichtenberg scarring running up Danny's left arm all the way to where his heart was after the child had finally let Damien take care of him. Hell Tim wanted to know who would give a child, a once dead then revived one, scares like that. If Talia had let the kid go through some sort of experimentation…. Well Tim knew where the explosives were stored and by the looks of it he probably could count on Jason's as well as Dick's help to blow up a league facility.
Either way Damien had become very protective of the child. The scarring didn't help calming that protectiveness either. In fact he was pretty sure it steered it more in the rest of them too. Also the fact that Danny spat out glowing Lazarus Water once they managed to wrangle the kid off Jason last night wasn't calming down a different kind of worry anytime soon either. No, it was another factor next to the scarring that spoke for the League having experimented on the poor child. He probably should start investing more time into what sort of facilities the League had built or was using lately.
On a good note, thankfully Danny had let up on Jason after he spat out the green goop and thanks to the fact that he apparently recognised Damien, let said teenager manhandle -cough- take care of the little biter for the rest of the night. It also seemed like the little guys biting obsession with Jason had calmed down, for now. He didn't trust the calm, especially not with the way Danny was still focused on his second oldest brother. Though everyone except for the demon brat was still getting the hissing treatment. Considering his theory that the League probably used the revived child to experiment with Lazarus Water, it wasn't that much of a surprise. Anyone would be feral after being subjected to experiments.
Thankfully it looked that whatever Pit Madness had overcome the child last night was not reacting towards them. But as he watched Dick trying really hard not to pout at Damien who had Danny in his lap in a protective hold, he wondered how long that would hold. Jason sat as far away from Danny and Damien as he could, probably because of the way the child was watching him with glowing blue eyes while munching on whatever food Damien gave to the little biter.
He could also see the reason for Dick's pouting as the elder reached out to attempt to ruffle Danny's hair but the child instantly snapped his head in their eldest brother's direction, hissing, bearing his teeth and even snapping at the air until Dick withdrew said hand again. A pout very evidently on his face. Like a switch flipped the child's focus would then redirect to watching Jason like a hawk again and munching on the food the Demon brat gave him.
At least he was the bitey type that would hiss as warning and not the stabby kind without warning like Damien.
"Yo, anyone at home up there?"
Turning his focus back to his second oldest brother Tim glared at him once more. "If you have to know. Yes I did sleep last night."
"More than one hour?" Dick asked next and Tim refused to look at the eldest. He was not going to answer that. He had coffee, who needed sleep when you have coffee. Besides, he was a perfectly functioning human being even with minimal amounts of sleep. He had not face planted his breakfast for three days now.
"What got you so obsessed that you didn't sleep, Drake? Another case? Or did you try to find out more from the League in regards to Danyal's scars?"
"That too but mostly the post-it note." He finally answered after stewing a little longer under the stares of his siblings. "Neither our nor the JL's language recognition programs got a hit and right now I am running a picture recognition to see if there ever was any kind of writing like that found before but it ran up to 90% before I came down and hadn't found anything like that before. And-"
"Slow down there Timber. I thought that's just a prank from Cass and Steph?" Dick interrupted him and Tim suppressed a groan.
"It couldn't be. I wish it was but both of them weren't in the Manor last night and I don't think Duke would do something like this so-"
"Hold up." Jason cut in and Tim glowered at them for getting interrupted again.
"What do you mean no language recognition program got a hit?"
"It means that there is no languages to translate-"
"Why would you need that? Yea its cryptic as fuck but its clearly written out!"
"Jason what are you talking about?" He opened his laptop again, turning the screen so it was facing Jason. "These are squiggles! How is it readable?!"
"The fuck you talking about?! Don't tell me your sleep deprived mind doesn't know how to read anymore?"
"Jason what does it say in your eyes?" Dick carefully cut in before Tim could question the other any more.
"'The daylight knight will tell the truth with eyes that see the light'. See cryptic as fuck." The older gesticulated towards Tim's laptop screen while Damien raised an eyebrow at him.
"The what now, will tell what?" Dick asked confusedly while Tim turned the laptop back towards him noting down what Jason just said. He was confused as to why Jason was able to read the squiggles but at least that gave him some kind of hint about the post-it. Aside from adding more questions to the already growing pile.
Suddenly a thrilling noise echoed in the room and the four looked at Danny. The child's now green eyes were focused on Jason. Tim could see Damiens hold tightening and Dick tensing when they noticed the green. Danny repeated the same nose he made earlier, still intensely staring at Jason.
"Who the fuck is clockwork?"
The green fated and Danny made a similar noise to chirping, his head tilting in confusion.
"The fuck you mean you don't know? You just said that Clockwork wrote the note?!"
"Todd. Did you just understand the noise Danyal was making?"
Once again the three of them stared at Jason who looked at them confused. "You didn't?"
They shake their heads and Jason let out a frustrated groan as he sat back down his head in his hands. "What did you assholes hear just now?"
"Danyal made some kind of thrilling, then chirping noise."
"Well I heard him say that someone named Clockwork wrote the note and then he said all confused that he doesn't know who Clockwork is." He looked at them frustrated. "Why do I hear the kid speak and you guys don't. You're his fucking twin, right? Shouldn't you know what the brat is saying?"
Damien glowered at their brother offended but didn't retort anything. Tim did see a hint of frustration with their formerly youngest and he could guess. Damien was most likely frustrated about the fact that Jason understood his twin's noises and he didn't. The only thing stopping him from possibly hurling the breakfast knife at Jasons, was most likely his hold on Danny.
Tim also thought about the fact for a while until it suddenly hit him. He looked up and made eye contact with Dick who most likely came to the same conclusion. The two turned towards their siblings.
"The Lazarus Water." Tim carefully offered, watching Jason and Damien tensed slightly.
"What about it?" The second oldest scoffed, turning his attention towards them.
"That's what you two have in common. Both of you got revived and came back through a Lazarus Pit. You still have the Pit in your mind right? And Danny most likely also has a lot of it in his system. It even mixed with his DNA."
After a beat of silence Jason let out a hearty groan. "Fuck. So because of the Pit I understand thrill and chirps now? Just fucking great!"
"Probably can speak it too if you try. That would be pretty cute. Come on, say something in a chirp!" Leave it to Dick to try to lighten the mood, though the glare Jason sent the eldest did make Tim hide a chuckle. He had to admit imaging Jason talking in chirps was a funny image. Should his brother ever do that he would need to make sure to take a video for his black mail folder.
"I will fucking not!"
"Come on, don't you want to communicate properly with our little teethling here?"
"Fuck off Dick!"
"You have to try it Jaybird! For little teethling!"
"Richard." Damien warned but Tim could only snicker as he watched Dick reach out to pat the kids head carelessly, apparently not hearing the warning nor hissing as the elder was too engrossed in convincing Jason to talk in chirp.
Dick let out a shriek of pain.
"Ha! Not so fun getting bitten is it now?" Jason laughed gloating with the fact that for once he was not the biting target.
Tim winched the moment he saw Danny clamp down with his sharp teeth on Dick's hand. Damien was instantly scowling both of them but the little biter refused to let go. He saw Alfred approaching the three and instantly stood up from his chair with a warning on the tip of his tongue as the butler reached out towards Danny.
"Master Danyal." Stunned and frozen the four brothers watched how the butler fearlessly patted the child's head who only let out a small hiss in acknowledgement, teeth still digging into the eldest brother's hand. "I request you let go of Master Dick's hand. I fear it will not taste as well as this snack I have prepared for you."
In an instant Danny let go and chirped, turning his attention towards Alfred who was still patting the child's head without getting hissed at or being in risk of getting bitten. Damien even let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you Pennyworth."
Dick was now cradling his hand, pouting and mumbling something about unfairness at the three as Jason laughed. Tim too couldn't help but chuckle, of course Alfred somehow became an exception towards Danny's biteyness.
It was at that moment that Duke entered the room, took one look at them, blinked, rubbed his eyes and then turned around and left again muttering something about it being too bright and early for any of this.
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Love Thorns All Over This Rose
Words: 2577
Warnings: angst, talks of a miscarriage, body image, talks of difficulty staying pregnant, mention of what is technically a still-birth, depression, suicidal thoughts, self-medicating, accidental suicide attempt (this is will make sense if you read it), probably poor writing and OOC characters but whatever
DC Masterlist Main Masterlist Join My Taglist
IF THERE IS A WANT FOR A PART 2, I WILL DO ONE, IF NOT, THEN THIS STAYS AS A ONE-SHOT!
I mention Y/N goes to a church to pray, it is described more as a Christian or Catholic one (I really don't know the difference and I apologize) as she lights a candle before she prays. If you wish to skip that part, it starts with "Y/N hurried up the steps of the Cathedral." and ends with "Y/N nodded silently before turning and walking out.". I do also mention that the reader themselves aren't very religious (but grew up with it so reverted back to old practices to see if it helped)
Alfred is also dead in this (don't ask why he just is) so that's why he isn't here!
The POV here isn't really consistent. It jumps between being with the Batkids, Bruce, and Y/N's. I tried to make it flow though so hopefully that works!
 I feel like I should mention:
Bruce and Y/N's ages don't matter (I'm not in the mood to deal with that) but; Dick is 31 (and married to Kori but that's not too important), Jason is 25, Tim is 22, Damian is 15, Cass is 24, and Steph is 23
I also am not too familiar with Duke, so that is why he isn't there much. Mostly just mentioned
Anywho, enjoy
Love Z <3
7:25 AM
The kids watched as Y/N was silent as she put the plate down in front of Bruce's empty seat. They all noted how fake her smile looked as she looked up at them. "Alright, I will see you kids later!"
They all watched as she walked out of the dining room and once they knew she was out of earshot, they started talking.
"Did she eat anything?"
It was Jason, he had been the last down (well...outside of Tim) so he only saw her putting the plates down and ushering them to eat.
Dick shook his head, he had seen her the entire time she made breakfast. Fully clothed, which was unusual as she usually just made breakfast in her pajamas with her hair occasionally brushed. But not today. Today her hair was done, makeup was on, she was dressed as if she was working.
But everyone in that house knew she was still off after what happened, even though it had been 3 months since the incident.
Damian flicked at his food, "Ummi was supposed to take me to school today."
Dick smiled at Damian, "I can, Dami. Mom is just...preoccupied."
Damian hmphed and continued to play with his food. Dick was concerned for his younger brother. He knew that while he himself was close with the woman he had allowed to become his mother, Damian was so much more as she was really the only person who never got mad at him or made fun of him when he didn't understand something.
Jason abruptly stood, "Since mom isn't here, I'm just gonna go."
Dick raised a brow, "Really Jason? You're just gonna leave after--"
"Hey, we've been over this before Dick. I come because mom asks me to." He shrugged as he put his jacket on, "Plus, I'm going to follow her."
Stephanie snorted, "She'll kill you when she catches you."
"If she catches me. If."
Steph hummed, "My bets are on she will. Y/N is always on the lookout, especially after..." She faded and looked down, regret piling up inside her as she thought of what she was about to say.
"Either way, tell us what you find Jason."
He nodded to Dick's request before heading out the side door in the kitchen. Dick tapped his hand on the table for a minute before speaking; "I'm gonna go check on dad, Damian go get everything ready and I'll meet you at the entryway, alright?"
The eldest stood, placing a gentle hand on the youngest shoulder before heading to the stairs. Dick was concerned. He had never seen his mother so...shut off. Pretending like everything was alright even though everyone who saw her could tell that she was so close to jumping off of a bridge.
The closest that he had seen her to this was back when Jason died and she broke up with Bruce. But even then, she didn't avoid things that she had already planned. Even then, she stayed committed to things.
Plus, Dick knew she had no plans today. Well...no plans except for the fact that beforehand this would have been her due date. And he knew that that was most likely what had off-set her so badly.
Dick didn't even knock before opening the door to Bruce's study. He was even speaking before his father even looked up from his computer. "Have you talked to mom?"
Bruce raised a brow, "What?"
"Mom." Dick crossed his arms, "When was the last time you and her had a real conversation?"
Bruce shrugged, "I'm not sure." He looked at Dick oddly, "What are you going on about?"
Dick let out a hard sigh, "You two are married, it is your job to take care of her. Goddammit Bruce!" He threw his hands up in anger, "You know what? Nevermind, I'm not...I'm not even going to try."
He angrily turned and walked out of the room. He didn't even understand why he even thought that talking to Bruce would help. He just walked down the stairs and remembered his promise to get Damian to school. Trying to hide the anxiety he had that he didn't know what exactly his mom was doing.
--------
9:09 AM
Jason watched Y/N walk out of the convenience store all the way in Blüdhaven. From where he was, he couldn't see what she had bought, but the moment he saw her go into the store, he had messaged Tim to watch her bank account. To watch what she was purchasing. Something felt...off as he watched her.
Jason knew that after the...accident, Y/N had been hard to reach. To talk to. He knew that she and Bruce hadn't been sleeping in the same bed since that argument he had accidently heard them having around 3 weeks after everything happened. So 4 weeks ago.
Granted...from what he had heard, it wasn't even a fight that they had had. Mostly just words being thrown at the other. Words that Jason never thought that he would hear either one say to the other. Words that he never told any of his siblings that he heard. All out of fear that one of them would panic. And while sure, he had a disdain for Tim and Damian, that didn't mean he would ever let either of them know what he had heard.
Jason wasn't sure how long he had been watching her just sit in the car before Tim finally texted him a list of what Y/N had bought in the past week. And considering Jason had seen her previous bank records for a week, it was a sure red mark with how short it was.
Tim
In the past week she's gotten a lot of sleeping pills. That's basically all that she has gotten. That plus energy and pain pills. Duke is thinking she's self-medicating again
Jason sighed as he pocketed his phone when he saw his mom driving out of the parking lot. He kept a safe distance behind her as he followed her on her drive back to Gotham.
--------
12:15 PM
Y/N hurried up the steps of the Cathedral. Trying not to make a misstep and fall as well as trying not to draw attention to herself. She closed the umbrella over her head as she walked in. Placing it in the small holder, she brushed the front of her outfit as her heels clicked on the ground when she walked down the long hall.
Last time she was there was for her mothers funeral last year. Last time she had walked up and grabbed the larger candle to dip down and light the smaller one. Her heart pounded in her chest as she kneeled, words swimming through her head and mumbling off her lips.
She herself was never very religious, but having grown up that way, she wondered if praying like she did as a child would work. Praying that things would get better and that she would get better.
She shakily did the cross on her before standing and wiping the tears that had silently fallen away from her cheeks. She turned and started to make her way out of the church when she heard a voice call out her name:
"Mrs. Wayne! We were not expecting you here today, is everything alright?"
Y/N slowly turned to face one of the Nuns, a small, fake, smile on her face. "Oh yes, everything is alright Sister. Just came here to pray for a moment. I haven't in such a long time."
The nun nodded, "Very well, I hope the Good Lord hears your prayer and makes it happen."
Y/N nodded silently before turning and walking out. She grabbed her umbrella before opening the door and walking out. She practically ran back to her car, wanting to get in before anyone saw her out.
But Cass and Steph did. They watched her speed back to her car as they sat in the cafe across the way. Stephanie shook her head, "She never goes there. Especially not since her mothers deaths."
Cass nodded as Steph continued; "Something is seriously going on with Y/N. Maybe something else has happened that we don't know."
"She's been deteriorating for the past 4 weeks."
Steph raised a bow and inquired, "4 weeks?" Cass nodded, "Huh...weird, that's around a week after she came home from the hospital." She grabbed her phone and started typing in the groupchat that only held the kids (Damian not included):
Steph
when did Bruce disappear for a few days after Y/N came home?"
It didn't take long for Tim to respond
logs say he left 35 hours after she got home and came back 83 hours later why?
Cass
She's been slowly getting worse sense then
Jason
I overheard them arguing around 3 weeks after everything happened and I know they haven't been sleeping in the same room since then. And I'm not sure how important this is; but Tim checked her bank account and she bought different pills so me, him, and Duke think she's medicating again. Or that she's going to start again.
Cass and Steph looked at each other, concern and worry was on their faces as they read Jason's last message. Something started unnerving them as they thought of the things she could possibly do if she was going to start medicating again.
----
3:25 PM
Y/N looked at her body in the mirror. Her hands came to lay on her stomach. Just like she did before. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she stared at her flatter stomach. She breathed shakily as her hands fell down to her sides.
Why?
Was all she ever asked.
Why me? Why did this happen to me?
She was so confused. She had always been good. Done everything to be a good person. But yet she still had that happen to her. Was she just not meant to be a mother?
Of course...she was one. She was a mother to 4 amazing boys and 1 beautiful girl. But still...it was different. Yes, those 5 children were hers, but that one. That singular one that she had carried for nearly 7 months had meant so much to her. Especially after being told time and time again it wouldn't happen.
It wasn't even the first time it had happened. She had had miscarriages before...but that wasn't what it was this time. The kidnapping. Bruce and the kids had found her after 2 days. The emergency c-section to save the baby.
But she knew. Of course she knew. She knew it had died.
Her baby girl. She had died before she even got the chance to live.
Y/N shakily breathed as she grabbed one of the bottles from the counter. She had thought it was the pain medication. But it hadn't been.
Sleeping meds.
Ever since it happened she had hardly been able to sleep. Nightmares of what happened still plagued her mind. Bruce yelling at her still echoed in her brain. Those...twisted words he said echoed inside of her.
She had popped a few in her mouth before dry-swallowing them and getting into the bath she had started earlier. The hot water felt like it was searing her skin, but she didn't care. She wondered if maybe she did this enough, whoever was above would forgive her of her sins and let her keep a pregnancy.
She wasn't sure how long she had stayed in the water before it became difficult to keep her head above water. Her body just felt so heavy. She wondered what pain meds she had grabbed at the store. She couldn’t remember them making her feel this way before. After a few moments of struggling to keep her head up, she felt her body sink down and under the water. But even as she felt water rush into her nose and fill her lungs, she couldn't bring herself to move and get out.
She just accepted her fate.
----
3:30 PM
Bruce sat in his office, a bad feeling settling in his stomach. Something was telling him to check on Y/N. See if she was alright. He knew she had returned around 20 minutes ago, the security cameras had caught her walking in.
He carefully stood from his desk and walked out of his office. He walked down the oddly quiet halls of the manor. A small feeling of pain and guilt started to eat at him as he got closer to the guest room she had been staying in. He knew she was struggling. He knew that she needed him today. But he just...couldn't.
He was selfish. He knew this.
He knew he was so goddamn selfish. Caring about his own feelings rather than helping his wife. She had been the one to physically go through everything. She had been the one to bear that trauma.
He had been so incredibly selfish since she had come home from the hospital. He had even begun to wonder why she even stayed in the manor.
But as he opened the door to the guest room, unrest settled inside him as he saw she wasn't there but the bathroom door was open. It was silent. He had known his wife long enough to know she never was silent in the bathroom. She almost always had music playing.
He pushed the bedroom door further open as he walked further in. Anxiety started to reach a breaking point as he walked into the bathroom.
And time felt like it moved in slow-motion as he saw her state. Her knees bent out of the water, her head under. He saw the three bottles of pills on the counter. He saw the open one read sleep on them. He ran over to the tub, grabbing under her arms and pulling her out.
He bent down, trying to listen for a heartbeat. He felt like his own heart stopped as he heard nothing. Not even a faint thump of one. He quickly moved to her side and started CPR.
Everything still felt like it was moving slower than it was as he pushed down on her sternum. Tears gathered in his eyes as he repeatedly slammed down onto her. As he breathed into her mouth. He didn't stop. He couldn't stop.
It felt like an eternity had passed by the time he finally had gotten the CPR to work. She began to cough profusely, water spluttering everywhere. He sobbed as he heard her shallow breaths break through the air.
He heard the noise of Dick's voice breaking. "Mom?"
He looked at him, seeing both him and Damian staring at the scene in front of them. Staring as their father held their mother in his arms. As tears fell from his eyes, he pleaded for them to call 911.
It was with shaky hands that Dick did it. His words sounded choked back, he kept stuttering. Trying to say what he was supposed to but his mind was running at a million miles and and half a mile a second at the same time. Everything felt fuzzy and he had no idea what he was supposed to do. All that he knew was that he walked in on his dad doing CPR on his mom.
That was all he knew.
That was all Dick knew.
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aalghul · 7 days
Text
Another thing that annoys me about “Cass, Steph and Damian died too” as a response to Jason just existing (besides that Jason doesn’t bring up his death to use against others nearly as much as people think he does), is that “they got over it, why can’t you?” and belittling him for not being a “perfect victim” is all in such bad taste, for obvious reasons. Then there’s the fact that none of those deaths are the same as Jason’s so the comparison doesn’t work even if we decided to judge characters on how well they fit the mold of a victim that doesn’t make a fuss.
Cass’ death is her being freed from her death wish. She’s not expecting revenge because she signed up for it. I don’t even know what to say about that because it’s all pretty clearly stated in the text.
Steph’s death was retconned into not being an actual Death death, first of all. Otherwise, we see her struggling to piece together her relationships in the aftermath of her return. Also, her death can’t be acknowledged too much because Bruce has been repeatedly absolved of all blame (that being pushed off to Leslie instead, originally) and speaking about how Bruce failed her isn’t something she’s allowed to do as a character who has to stay entirely on one side of the fight (because most characters don’t get to question Batman or believe he failed them, not without being framed as something less than morally sound). Jason gets to openly criticize Bruce but at the cost of never being one of the Bats like Steph is, and the inverse is true for Steph (irt pre-flashpoint).
Damian’s big death should be ignored because there’s literally not a way to have that storyline happen without being racist. We understand this, yes? And the rest don’t last longer than an issue. Let’s not pretend it’s comparable with Jason being dead and buried for over a decade in real time, actually dead and buried for 6 months in-universe, and believed dead for 3 years in-universe.
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poppingaround · 14 days
Text
Dick: I… I’m sorry B…
Tim: come on dick you can do this!
Duke: you’re the only one who can do this man!
Barbara: you are our only hope dick, please.
Dick: B I really don’t want things to end like this…
Damian: Grayson just do it!
Steph: don’t let the emotion get the better of you!
Dick: please forgive me B… *placed down a +4*
Bruce: hn.
Jason: HAHAHA TAKE THAT SUCKER.
Bruce: *put down a +2* uno.
Jason: what!!? you can’t do that!
Cass: you can’t?
Tim: well technically you can’t put a +2 after +4 just so you can escape getting more cards…
Jason: see??
Alfred: but that’s how we usually play with master Bruce when he’s younger
Jason: oh come on Alfred not you too??
Dick: you heard him Jason, rules are rules.
Jason: you’re the one starting it!!
Dick: I’m trying to save you guys!
Jason: ughhh *added 6 cards in his hands*
Jason: I hate this game, why didn’t we play monopoly.
Damian: Drake and father will just win it easily.
Tim: okay for the seventh time I swear to god that’s not how it works-
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mysterycitrus · 16 days
Note
How old do think each Batfam member is
( post crisis obviously)
wrt headcanoning ages i play it super fast and super loose with nothing but vibes so no essays in the replies plz. this is just the timeline that exists in my brain when im writing fic. with that in mind:
bruce (43)
babs (32)
dick (27)
cass (23)
jason (23)
steph (22)
tim (21)
duke (17)
damian (13)
like in an ideal world post-crisis canon would’ve progressed a few years — tim is now in his 20s (lol), damian is a teenager, and duke is an established character. i really like the hc that tim was dukes robin, so their ages reflect that. tim was emancipated at seventeen, when he stopped being robin. both steph and cass are older than tim. babs is at least five years older than dick because the retcon that they’re the same age makes my teeth itch. none of this “first true love” shit. they were friends as children and didn’t become romantically involved until their twenties. stop delegitimising all of babs and dicks other relationships!!!
idk how well it works time wise but i honestly don’t care too much about specifics? a pugnacious two year old timmy’s brain being permanently altered by the death of the graysons makes narrative sense to me. dick is fired as robin at seventeen (not a legal adult), which adds additional complexity to the situation with bruce. bruce is in his mid forties. that man has chronic back problems he is naht thirty six.
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incorrectbatfam · 1 month
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Which of the Batfamily is most likely to climb up buildings (or stairs or objects or other people) to get to talking level with a Meta that won't come down to them? [Damian is too obvious, but are there more?]
Clark: Nightwing, I need you to pass a message to Batman—
Dick: Wait a second.
Dick: *scales a skyscraper*
Dick: Alright, what is it?
———————
Jason: Look, Biz, for the last time—hang on.
Jason: *pulls out a step stool*
Jason: For the last time, Sonic isn't one of the Flashes.
———————
Selina: I just don't think flying counts as its own power when you have to cast a spell. It's just another extension of your magic.
Zatanna: Bold words for someone twenty feet below me.
Selina: Yeah, well, I bet you can't land on your feet every time.
———————
Tim, angrily: Look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you.
Kon: Make me.
Tim: *climbs two boxes, a ladder, and a tree to look Kon in the eyes*
———————
J'onn: You must be the Signal. Batman has told me a lot about you.
Duke: Hold up, this isn't really working.
J'onn: What?
Duke: *jumps onto a moving bus*
Duke, getting farther away: Go ahead, I'm listening.
———————
Kory: Oracle, can you access the recent Darkseid files?
Barbara: Let me just do this one thing first.
Barbara: *books a ticket to New York*
Barbara: *gets in an elevator*
Barbara: *goes to the top of the Empire State Building*
Barbara: Sure, I have it right here on my phone.
———————
Jon: Catch me if you can!
Damian: *shoots his grapple at Jon*
———————
Steph: I'm gonna go up there and do what Batman won't.
Hal: And what exactly is that?
Steph: *stands on a lamp post*
Steph: *slaps Hal*
———————
Bruce: Just in case Spoiler didn't get through to you...
Bruce: *climbs a fire escape*
Bruce: *slaps Hal*
———————
Kara: So what's the plan?
Bette: First order of business, we're getting lower ceilings so you can't keep doing THAT.
———————
Vic: *hovering*
Luke: *also hovering*
Vic: What are we doing?
Luke: *shrugs*
———————
Diana: *floating above everyone*
Helena: Anyone wanna challenge her?
Kate: Not it.
Harper: Not it.
Cullen: Not it.
Alfred: My sincerest apologies, Ms. Prince, I am unable to make it up there in my old age, let alone with a tray full of my signature chocolate chip cookies.
———————
Cass: That's not flying.
Arthur: No, but this water spout gives me great advantage.
Cass: *pulls out a straw*
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