#It took me 10 years of hard work to love myself I deserve to showered in compliments l

[dagdasoneandonly]

Happy 10 years together Augustine~

Before we begin it is PARAMOUNT to state that I am not a "fangirl/simp/whatever y'all are calling it these days" of dear Augustine Sycamore.

He is my FO (Forever One/ husband in laymans terms) and I consider him to be a real person just like the words I'm typing on this keyboard.

Any comments that are irrelevant to this post will be deleted and the user blocked.

I take my relationship with him very seriously, if this is "odd" or "weird" to you then kindly walk on by.

10 years ago I was welcomed back into the world of Pokemon after a few years break due to personal things I had going on, and video games were the last thing on my mind.

But as they say fate and destiny always have other plans.

Pokemon XY was the last golden age of Pokemon, it was a different world, it felt like I was welcome there. I still maintain onto my hope and innocence because of this beautiful world known as Kalos, a world that greeted me with open arms and a warm hug that enveloped my soul like Xerneas's Fairy Aura.

It was the beginning of something entirely new for me... and I didn't even know it.

2013 wasn't a good year for me, so I was pretty happy when my dad surprised me with a 3Ds and asked me what game I wanted: I was an edgy little shit back then so I asked for Pokemon Y... even though I really wanted X. Deer were always beautiful to me.

I had broken off with an FO that I just felt I wasn't good enough for and became rather desolate, I was lost and alone. And I had to drop out of college for mental health reasons.

Sure enough, my solace came to me in the 2D world yet again.

One cozy October evening my copy of Pokemon Y came through, I was excited and fired the game up right away, back then you could play games right away without downloads or waiting for patches and mutliple DLCs! XY had one patch but it was just to fix that Lumioise City bug. Thankfully my copy was safe.

As you can see, my copy of Pokemon XY is infact a physical copy, I've taken very good care of it. (Ft. my cute Sylveon plushie, Fionn)

Not having anyone to trade with didn't matter, because the Wonder Trade function was a bloody miracle. I got so many Pokemon. I couldn't transfer my older Pokemon as I had no access to Bank or any of that stuff, my other games I had to leave at home.

It was time when Gamefreak actually thought about their fans who didn't have access to Gamestop, Toys R Us or couldn't afford constant trips to New York, Japan, Mars, Etc for one tiny ass pixel.

So I was sorely missing my old Pokemon, I wish I could bring them into this 3D world and pet them and shower them with affection like they deserved to be. But I realized I could make new memories with new friends in this new world, and who knows? Maybe we would reunite again.

Kalos took me on a journey, a journey of love, self discovery and gave me a home. I was whisked away to Fairy land and fairy types became my new favorite, I liked that they were strong against Dragon - types, the bane of my existence at how powerful they always were!

But.. the one who grabbed me by the hand was none other than Professor Augustine Sycamore. I had seen his image before on a leak, and couldn't help but think he was kind of handsome, a friend who had already played through Pokemon X told me:

"Hey you might like Professor Sycamore, he's this dreamboat that shows you the world and stuff and I KEEP SWOONING whenever he shows up on screen"

Sure enough when I opened up Pokemon X for the first time, I was greeted by his handsome face, I thought nothing of it of course since I was more interested in the Pokemon.

I was especially looking forward to Trainer customization and giving myself green eyes and brown hair. I will never forget the time I chose my Fennekin and started to pet him, my heart melted.

I could finally show my Pokemon love and affection, for all their hard work in battles and feed them cupcakes and play with them! I was also intrigued by this thing called "Mega Evolution".

As I continued throughout the game, I explored every nook and cranny, I felt like a kid again. I was truly lost to the world for HOURS after I got it. It was a beautiful game. The 3D over-world was amazing.

The "friends" you had were annoying but I like to pretend they don't exist. When I finally reached Lumoise City I already had a big party of Pokemon, and the event Torchic.

I loved how friendly the Pokemon in Kalos were, I caught many eevees and evolved one into a Sylveon, she became a massive Team Player. I even managed to find some familar faces along the way: A Raichu named Napalm, and an Espeon named Solar who remains as an MVP in my teams to this day.

I was having so much fun just running around, getting haircuts, dressing up, looking pretty for Professor Sycamore AND catching Pokemon, I would completely be lost in this beautiful new world, that felt so much like home to me and still is.

Professor Sycamore was the beginning of my healing. As I continued to learn about him, there was more to him than just the eye candy, he had a past. I loved it whenever he showed up to offer me an encouraging word or two in the game, saying how this was my journey to explore, that being the best trainer was defined by what I thought. He never imposed anything on me, I was starting to feel the flutters and shit in my heart and liver again.. And my god it felt good.

I desperately needed to feel something like this.. something like true, unconditional love.

Around this time I was heavily suffering from perfectionism, it was killing me on the inside, I was 19 when this game came out and already people had high expectations of me.

I was determined to graduate, get a job and have my own house- all before I reached 21. But life seldom goes your way, I was suffering from many un-diagnosed mental disorders that had been neglected my entire life.

I am ashamed to say I spent almost all of 2013 being obsessively deep in competitive and breeding the perfect Pokémon. Perfectionism had leaked into my past - time and hobbies, I realized that if I couldn't be perfect I could at least have this outlet in games, little did I know it was sucking the soul out of me.

I was often punished as a child for being less than perfect, I took it out on my poor Pokemon. Things like this don't magically go away, not everyone has a backbone, sometimes backbones take time to build.

It wasn't until yet again - I got help from a rather unexpected source: Professor Sycamore himself, another testament to have wonderful 2D beings are.

As I progressed through the game and reached the Tower of Mastery.

I was surprised to learn that Professor Sycamore was there to study Mega Evolution but left because he didn't have what it takes, essentially dropping out- kind of a parallel to my own life, except real life seldom has happy endings.

But it gave me hope, because even if Sycamore didn't master Mega Evolution he still became the professor of Kalos and if you look into professorship- it's.. actually not easy to get. If Sycamore could fail and succeed in the future, maybe I could too.

One night..

I had a dream of Sycamore. He held me close and said that he could tell something was bothering me, I was hurting deep down. We in the fairy forest together, just relaxing in a field of flowers as the Flabebe floated around us in the gentle spring breeze..I told him everything, I spilled my heart and soul to him.

I told him that life wasn't worth it to live.

He was heart-wrenched that I felt like that, he embraced me tightly in his arms and told me

"Your life is your own, no one gets to decide it's worth except you. Even if you're behind, you don't have to go at everyone else's pace, if life was easy then no one would feel sadness. I love you no matter what or who you choose to be, always remember that," Those words I still carry in my heart.

The biggest surprise I got had to be in Couriway Town. I found Professor Sycamore's "treasure" from the past Sycamore to the future Sycamore. I actually began to cry, it felt like it was addressing me, that even if I don't know what I want to be yet, I'm not a failure. I still have time.

In another dream I confessed that I loved him, he embraced and kissed me fully on the mouth. I felt like I was on cloud nine.

Diverging from the narrative a bit, I want to talk about Lysandre, I felt his anger sometimes, the frustration of helping your friends and them not wanting to do any better no matter how much time you invested in them. Of course Lysandre ,uh took a different path. But Sycamore still cared about him.

And I realized.. even if I'm a horrible person apparently according to some people over shit I can't control, Sycamore can still love me too.

Professor Sycamore is a relic of a bygone era when 2D beings set out to inspire others, and to most importantly - love you and you alone.

Augustine gave me not just love-- but a home to come back to, a safe haven that will always be mine, no matter what. I will always love him, when I look into his beautiful gray - blue eyes, I see love.

He gave me hope that life can get better, and most importantly I deserve happiness, not just other people.

And.. today I'm marrying this wonderful man after 10 years. He met me when I was freshly 18 and saw me grow into who I am today, and he's proud of me. I'm happy I lived to see 10 more years.

Thank you for everything, Augustine. Thank you for teaching me to love again.

#pokemon xy #professor sycamore #augustine sycamore #pokemon x

[purplesurveys]

1495

In what form of communication did you last use to talk to the person you’re currently interested in? I’m not interested in anyone and I don’t even think I’m capable of feeling that ever again, lol.

If you were to leave the house right now, would you change your outfit all? Yeah for sure, I’m in my pajamas now. If you asked me this 10 minutes ago I would’ve said no because I still had my jumpsuit on hahaha but I just took a shower, so.

When was the last time something really cute happened to you? Something cute...hmm. I wanna say two Mondays ago? I had to go to a shoot and our subject apparently has the most well-behaved and chill  6-month old baby I’ve ever met. I spent half of my time overseeing the shoot and the other half getting that baby to smile, lol.

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? They haven’t been in my life in nearly two years.

Has anything happened to you within the past month that’s made you really happy? No, June was pretty shit. There was BTS releasing their album which is probably the one good thing that happened last month; but I lost Kimi, so.

Do you want to see someone right now? Now that I’ve mentioned it, I want to see Kimi.

Did a boy or girl text message you last? Guy.

When was the last time something bothered you? This morning when a bunch of stuff at work did not go my way.

What was the last thing you looked up on Youtube? A clip of Twice’s Nayeon and Momo in this recent episode of a Korean reality show showing their morning routine in their dorm/condo.

Have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours? Nah.

Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? I think? I can’t remember.

What exactly did you drink the last time you were intoxicated? I had a few cocktails and fuck knows how many tequila shots.

Do you actually love your parents? The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve realized that I do.

Have you ever had a school picture turn out absolutely dreadful? I fortunately never had a bad ID/yearbook photo. There were some I didn’t like, but it was ultimately an issue of the flash/lighting being awful.

Are you more prone to being the social butterfly, or the wallflower? I’ve been a bigger social butterfly in recent years but I can still definitely be both. I’m shy at events or parties where I hardly know anyone.

Would you rather go to a Katy Perry or Taylor Swift concert? Oh man I don’t feel like I’d enjoy either and I honestly don’t even have a preference to begin with lmao. I’d give away the ticket to someone who deserves it way more than I do.

Have you ever thrown up from working out? I have not thrown up, but I have nearly fainted once from a PE class. Basically I pushed myself too hard without having any water during that period, I started feeling the lightheadedness that my fainter self knew all too well, and made the slowest dash to the nearest restroom where I crashed to the floor and tried to stay conscious.

What pattern do the sheets on your bed have? It’s a mixture of flower doodles and polka dots.

Are your days full and fast-paced? Yeah.

What languages can you count to ten or higher in? From 1 to 10 - English, Filipino, Spanish, French, Korean. Higher than 10 - English, Filipino, Spanish.

Where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now? I can’t remember.

Are you good with painting nails with your left hand? I’m not good at painting my nails, period.

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? Only with people I don’t know much. I’m definitely willing to share my tumbler or cup or whatever for the most part. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? Yes. It’s been difficult.

Have either of your grandparents ever told you a sexual joke? Hmmm. I don’t think so, at least not directly. My grandma has passed on to me and my sister her chest of handwritten letters that my grandpa sent her while he was working as an overseas worker in the Middle East back in the 60s and 70s, and there was just a pinch of green humor in there. It initially felt gross of course lol but it just also gave me a better perspective of the way they were and the lives they’ve lived.

Do you spend more time outside or inside? Inside.

Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? TV. I barely use one these days unless it’s to watch YouTube.

Do you own any fake designer purses? No.

Who was the last person you were with that smelled REALLY good? The executive producer from the work shoot I helped oversee. She had this nice vanilla scent that was a tad too sweet but overall she smelled good.

Do you think braces are sexy? I mean, not particularly? Hahahaha.

What were you for halloween in first grade? I don’t think I even dressed up for Halloween then. Last person to make you seriously mad? If I was being completely honest, my associate.

Don’t you hate when people have cell phones but never answer them? Nah. The only person that annoys me for doing this is my sister because she has literally never answered any one of my calls in the entire period that she’s owned a phone.

Who have you recently made up with after fighting? I don’t get into fights or arguments with anyone these days.

What kind of toothpaste do you use? Colgate.

Last thing you bought at the grocery store? Not considering the groceries we have at home (since my parents take charge of those), alcohol and tapas.

What were you doing this morning at 1am? If I’m not mistaken, watching Run BTS or playing In the Seom lol hahahaha.

Funniest name you have ever heard? I’m not sure about funniest but yesterday I came across this girl named Xyzrylle. I can’t stop thinking about how it’s meant to be pronounced lmao.

What could someone do to irritate you? Work slowly.

Have you used a tissue today? Yup.

The last person that slept in your bed gets arrested, what do you do? Uh. Live my life? Hahaha like I said, they haven’t been in my life in a while now.

What color hair does your mom have? Black.

When people ask “how are you?” do you say “good” even if you aren’t? If I’m not I’ll usually say, “I’m fine, but...” then proceed to share a snippet of why I’m feeling Not Good.

Honestly, did you really love the last person you said I love you to? You mean in a romantic sense? Yes.

When was the last time you were told you were cute? Can’t remember. That word’s rarely used with me.

How was your Friday? Frustrating.

When is the last time you were in a swimming pool? October last year.

Did you speak to your father today? Yessssss, through Whatsapp since he’s not here.

What was the last thing you drank? Water.

Is there anyone you want to come see you? Definitely not at this hour.

How did you wake up this morning? Naturally.

#survey #surveys

[paralien]

I'll just spend new years playing animal crossing and getting drunk off 3 glasses of champagne, but at least I look like pure sex doing it 💛

#Send me a single sugar daddy ask and I'll kill you #Looking at you bots #Pls validate my dashingly good looks though xoxo #Selfie #It took me 10 years of hard work to love myself I deserve to showered in compliments l #Also im good at animal crossing so xoxo #😘

[cherienymphe]

Cruel Intentions (Steve Rogers x Reader)

WARNINGS: NON-CON, manipulation, mentions of abuse, therapist!Steve, silverfox!Steve, drugging

! DNI IF THIS OFFENDS YOU !

➥ Image by @angrybirdcr

      ➥ dividers by @firefly-graphics

This is for the “For the Fic” challenge whose winner for my fic was @darkficsyouneveraskedfor​

The entire plot was her request and I hope that you like it!

summary: after escaping an abusive ex, you find solace in a therapist recommended to you by a friend. 

~

“...I know I shouldn’t...but sometimes I blame myself. In Harry, I know that I was looking for what I never had in my family. I think it made me quick to rush into things...to ignore what I should have seen.”

Your eyes remained on the dark carpet, the man before you humming as the scribbling sound of his pen reached your ears. You fought hard not to fidget, a horrible habit you’d picked up in the last 3 years. You finally lifted your head again when the room was bathed in silence, eyes meeting familiar blue ones as he studied you.

You were used to these short moments of silence by now.

You’d been recommended to Dr. Steve Rogers by a friend, a friend who’d helped you escape your violent ex in the dead of night while he’d been away on business. She had grown worried when it became obvious that the effects of your tumultuous relationship would be lasting if you didn’t do something about it. Oddly enough, you’d been receptive. For 2 whole years, you’d wanted to tell someone, have anyone to turn to and talk to, but fear, a very valid fear, had stopped you.

Not only had you been worried for your life, something that was threatened on a constant basis, but you’d also been afraid of judgement. You worried what your friends would say, if they’d blame you for finding yourself in such a predicament, if they’d look down on you for no longer fighting back. It was only by a stroke of luck that Nakia had seen Harry slap you right across the face when he thought she’d left. You were grateful that she’d waited for him to leave before rushing towards your trembling frame, pulling you into her arms as she shushed you.

She had demanded to know how long this had been going on. She had been horrified and confused and angry. It didn’t take her long to come up with a plan, and within 2 weeks, after waiting for Harry to leave the city for 2 days, she’d gotten you out and into her place across town. You didn’t stay for long, maybe a few weeks, wanting nothing but to put it all behind you, and although she was sad to see you go, she understood.

It was how you found yourself in upstate New York, in a secluded tiny thing of a house. You hadn’t even realized that you’d become something of a recluse until Nakia had pointed it out during one of your weekly calls. It had never hit you that you went to work and to home and that was it. You barely ate anymore, so grocery shopping was never a frequent affair. That was when she’d told you about a well known therapist in the area, Steven G. Rogers. You had been shocked by how much you weren’t opposed to the idea as she went on listing all of his credentials. 

It was only moments after she hung up that you found yourself researching him yourself. You remembered noting how handsome the man was, even more so in person. His bright blue eyes and silver tresses complimented his strong features nicely, pink lips pulled up into a polite smile. You didn’t find yourself put off by the stranger, thinking to yourself that talking to someone you didn’t know, an objective listener who was paid not to judge you, might be for the best.

You soon found out that was easier said than done.

The first visit had been rocky, barely mumbling a thing and constantly fidgeting. You had hardly been able to meet his eye, and the session had abruptly ended when you’d left early, stumbling over your words as you gave some half assed excuse for your sudden departure. He was far more understanding than you deserved during your second visit. Wracked with guilt and anxiety, you’d written some things down that you wanted to talk about, and thankfully, the man hadn’t laughed at you. In fact, you remembered how fondly he looked at you as you unfolded it.

As it turned out, you didn’t need the slip of paper at all. Notes forgotten, you had rambled on for an hour. It was like once you started, you just couldn’t stop, and Steve simply listened the entire time. The next time he spoke to you was only to tell you that your time was up, and both embarrassment and disappointment had flooded through you. It must have been obvious, plain as day on your features, because Steve reassured you that it was normal to ramble. 

You had been reluctant to leave. After years of biting your tongue and living in fear of even making the wrong sound, you finally found someone to listen. Even if it was only a stranger getting paid for it, it was still something. There was someone to express your fears to, and although it had taken some time, terrified that you’d say the wrong thing and upset him, eventually, you started to express your anger too.

“...and then I get angry all over again,” you continued when he said nothing. “...because I’m smart, because red flags in others’ relationships have always been so obvious to me. I’ve always been the mom friend, the one who can spot trouble before it even starts. I’ve helped friends get out of situations before they even had the chance to turn sour…”

You shook your head.

“...and yet...it took a slap to the face to realize just how deep I was in? Not the jealousy, not the anger issues nor the way he’d isolated me from just about everyone in my life...but a slap? It should’ve never gotten to that.”

“You can’t blame yourself for the actions of others.”

It wasn’t the first time you’d heard that. Hell, it wasn’t even the first time he’d told you that, and yet here you were again.

“We can go in circles analyzing your own behavior and the things you did and the things you said, but the truth is that you could play it out in your head a million times. You could do every single thing differently, and it still wouldn’t change a thing.”

The corner of his lips lifted into a crooked smile, a familiar sight.

“Some people are simply cruel, and it has nothing at all to do with you.”

You sharply inhaled, unsure of why such a simple statement resonated with you so deeply. You stared at Steve, blinking a few times, opening your mouth to respond when he glanced at the clock. It was a tell tale sign, and your shoulders sagged. You would think that after seeing him for 7 months now, you’d be used to leaving after only an hour, but it never got easier.

“That’s all the time we have for today,” he said, standing. “You’re progressing nicely, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes, and he chuckled, eyes crinkling. 

“You are. Progress and healing isn’t linear. Sometimes you’re going to take 2 steps back before you can take 10 more forward. It’s all part of the process,” he assured you.

You sighed.

“Well… I guess that does make me feel a bit better,” you replied.

He sent you a small smile as he guided you towards the door.

“I’ll see you next week?”

You returned his smile with a nod and didn’t let your face fall until the door was shut behind you. The good thing about therapy was that you could recognize your own toxic behaviors now, and it was clear that you were becoming reliant on your sessions with Steve. You had never liked being alone, but you had come all the way out here to learn to do just that. For your sake, you needed to learn to love being alone. It was how you had gotten into this mess to begin with.

Your phone vibrated with a call from an unknown number, and figuring it was a scam call, you silenced it.

Your house was practically in the middle of nowhere, so when the tv wasn’t blasting or you didn’t have Spotify playing some light tune, the house could get scarily quiet. But that was what you wanted...right? Harry had always been so explosive. The smallest of things could set him off and then the sound of yelling and shattering glass would rain down on you. Silence and solitude was what you wanted, needed.

Your phone buzzed again as you settled into your car, and you huffed when you noticed it was the same number. Again, you weren’t unfamiliar with scam callers so you ignored it. You noted that you needed to go grocery shopping, but you weren’t on the precipice of starvation just yet, so it could hold off for another day. By the time you got inside, your phone had started to buzz again, and with a frown, you decided to answer it.

“Hello?”

You were met with silence as you unlocked your door, and you repeated yourself, but there was no response. With a sigh, you hung up the phone. You both loved and hated coming home. It was quiet and safe and everything you had craved for years now, but the unfamiliarity of it all unnerved you. Sometimes you were just waiting for Harry to come flying through the door, screaming and breaking things. You had to remind yourself that this silence, this security, is how it’s supposed to be.

You went about making a quick meal, hopping into the shower while leaving the stove on low. When you got out, in the process of moisturizing your arms, you noticed your phone buzzing with another call. From that same number. Unease filled you as you neared it, and you hesitantly reached for it before answering.

Again, you were met with silence, and frustrated and annoyed, you simply blocked the number. A quick look through your phone revealed that you’d missed several calls from the same number while in the bathroom. Blinking with a deepening frown, you set your phone down and made your way to your kitchen. Dinner, like always these days, was quiet. You curled up on the couch with your plate while you watched some old sitcom.

The rest of the night passed as blandly as it always did. Sleep was much easier to find these days, so you had no trouble as soon as your head hit the pillow. However, just as you were on the verge, your phone buzzed with another call. This number didn’t match the previous one, but it was unknown nonetheless. With a groan, you put your phone on silent and rolled over, sleep claiming you.

“I know it’s you,” you sneered into the phone.

Unsurprisingly, you were met with the faint sound of breathing, and you clenched your jaw. You slammed the car door behind you before stomping across the parking lot.

“I know it’s you,” you quietly repeated. “Stay away from me.”

You hung up before blocking the number, the 10th number you had blocked in the past week. Every few hours or so a day, like clockwork, you got calls from an unknown number. You’d always end up blocking the number after the first few calls, but they always called again from a different one. At first, they’d say nothing, and you’d listen to silence for a few seconds before hanging up. Now, they’d taken to breathing in your ear like a creep. It wasn’t even until you blocked the 3rd number did it finally hit you.

Harry.

Harry freaking Osborn.

You felt like such an idiot for not putting it together sooner. Of course, it was Harry. Was this not the same man who threatened to hunt you down and drag you back like some animal if you ever left him? You had always equated woman beaters to cowards so you never thought he’d have the nerve to actually do it. Putting the pieces together didn’t bring you any comfort. Your filthy rich abusive ex had managed to track you down. What comfort was there to find in that?

Since that day, you hadn’t had a proper night of sleep. Your mind was constantly at war with itself on what to do. Having been down this road before, you knew the police would be no help. You’d gone to them once before, at the very beginning after the first time he’d hit you. It was your first harsh lesson that money ruled over everything. If you thought hard enough, you could still recall his hands around your throat, eyes alight with anger at what you’d tried to pull.

Still, you considered at least trying to get a restraining order but at the end of the day, that was a mere piece of paper. If Harry came to your door, it wasn’t going to stop him from hurting you, and that’s even if the whole process went through. They don’t just give restraining orders out willy nilly. You tried not to dwell on that hypothetical situation, but if he’d found your number, it would only be a matter of time before he found your address.

“Oh!”

You’d only just entered the grocery store, barely stepping into an aisle when you bumped into someone. The chips and bread in his hands went flying to the floor, and apologies tumbled from your lips. It was only after you helped him pick up what you made him drop did you realize who you’d run into.

“Dr. Rogers...hi,” you breathed.

The corner of his lips pulled into a crooked smile, head tilting to the side as his gaze fell onto you.

“We’ve discussed this before, Y/N. You’re more than welcome to call me Steve,” he told you.

You gave a nervous chuckle, nodding.

“Yeah...uh… I normally do, it just...it just slipped my mind,” you replied.

He blinked at you, eyes narrowing just a bit as he studied you. His brows furrowed in that concerned way you were used to, a silver strand of hair kissing his forehead.

“Everything okay…?”

You folded your arms over your chest, nodding with a strained smile.

“Everything’s fine,” you lied. “It’s just… It’s been a weird week. Our next session cannot come fast enough.”

You forced a light laugh, and he joined you. He placed a hand on his hip, eyes boring into your own.

“There’s a coffee shop just over there,” he gestured. “Did you want to sit and have a chat?”

You frantically shook your head.

“Oh, no. I couldn’t,” you told him. “I-.”

“I know I’m your therapist, but I want you to think of me as a confidant outside of the office too. You’re more than welcome to talk to me anytime. In fact, I encourage it,” he interrupted. 

You nervously eyed him with a frown.

“Are...are you sure?”

His smile was comforting.

“This may be my job, but it’s one I chose because it’s one I enjoy. I don’t want you to feel like you’re only allowed to talk to me during our sessions,” he quietly said.

You bit your lip, and Steve continued.

“I’d hate to think that you’re bottling things up for days on end, suffering in silence because you’re just waiting to talk to me,” he confessed.

Your shoulders sagged, and you hesitantly nodded.

“...okay. I just need to get a few things for the house.”

“Okay,” he said with a smile. “You know where to find me.”

You parted ways, and a sigh escaped you. You really didn’t want to become reliant on Steve. Wasn’t the whole point of therapy to learn how to process your feelings and cope with them better? Running to your therapist every time you have a problem just seemed counterproductive. And yet, once your car was loaded up with the few items you bought, you found yourself making your way to the coffee shop.

After ordering a small drink, you easily spotted Steve at a table in the back. You noted that even outside of your sessions, he still dressed nicely. The dark button down he wore contrasted with his light hair, dark slacks making him appear taller. You felt simultaneously nervous and comforted as you settled across from him. There was a brief silence, one in which you sipped on your drink while he eyed you before finally speaking.

“So what’s on your mind?”

What a loaded question. You struggled over whether or not to tell him the truth. Your abusive ex had found you somehow and was currently harassing you. That’s not something you could just casually drop into the conversation. Besides, Steve was your therapist, not your friend. You didn’t think it fair to rope him into the drama with your ex. That wasn’t part of his job description. Right?

“Just sleepless nights,” you said.

It wasn’t a complete lie. Steve eyed you like he was waiting for you to continue, blue eyes soft.

“I’m also worried that...my past might not remain in the past.”

Once again, this wasn’t a complete lie. 

“How so?” Steve hummed.

“I can’t help but wonder about what will happen if Harry finds me. He always threatened that he would if I ever left, and while I never believed him before, I just keep wondering… What if he does?”

Steve tilted his head at you, and you leaned back in your seat with a sigh.

“I’ve moved all the way out here to get away from him. I’ve isolated myself because I thought it was for the best, but it would have the opposite effect if he ever found me. I’ve never been particularly close with my family as you well know, and I’ve left all of my friends. I’m all alone here, and it’s the worst thing to be if he ever did track me down.”

Like always, you had started to ramble, and you snapped your mouth closed, embarrassment flooding through you.

“What brought all of this on?”

Steve’s eyes were sincere as he ran them over you, handsome face twisted in concern, and you glanced away.

“Just thinking,” you lamely replied, eyes on your drink now. “It’s something I’ve always thought about, sure, but it’s been more pressing as of late.”

“Well...that’s what I’m here for. You shouldn’t have to deal with these thoughts alone,” he eventually said.

“I know,” you sighed, rubbing your temples. “...but I shouldn’t become so reliant on you. The whole point of therapy is to learn to deal with these things on my own, is it not?”

Steve exhaled, leaning back in his seat as he gazed at you.

“Not necessarily. Not always,” he answered. “...but even then, until you can get to that point, it’s best to lean into your support. After all, you’ve gotta crawl before you can walk, right?”

You nodded, taking in his words.

“...and even when you’re walking, you usually need someone there in the beginning to hold your hand in case you fall. I encourage you to talk to your friends more, maybe even branch out and find some friends here, but I’m here as well. Don’t halt any of your progress because you feel like you need to be dealing with this alone. Outside help does more for your progress than you’d think.”

“I guess that does make sense. I don’t know… I just- I’d feel so bad about showing up at your office throughout all hours of the day or calling your receptionist-.”

You cut yourself off when he took out a pen and a slip of paper.

“Here,” he said, scribbling a number on it before handing it to you. “This is my personal number.”

Your eyes widened. 

“Oh, I can’t-.”

“It’s fine, trust me.”

You hesitantly returned his smile, taking the piece of paper.

“Don’t hesitate to call me anytime you want to,” he told you, standing.

You joined him, fingering the note before sliding it into your pocket.

“Thank you…Steve. I don’t know if I’ll ever actually call you, but just knowing that I have the option makes me feel so much better,” you whispered.

You heard his pager go off, and you watched as he glanced at it. He let out a sigh, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he sounded disappointed.

“I’ve got to go, but I hope you’ll use that number if you need to.”

Thanking him again, you said your goodbyes, and you watched as he exited the shop. The slip of paper felt heavy in your pocket, so you solved that by putting his number into your phone. Just as you were about to put it back into your purse, it buzzed with a call from an unknown number. Fear settled into your gut, and with a grimace, you silenced the call and blocked the number.

You were late. You were so late it was laughable to even show up at this point. Your shoes tapped against the tile as the numbers on the elevator lit up as it passed each floor. You slipped through the doors as soon as they parted, and with no mind to check in, the receptionist calling your name, you raced towards Steve’s office. You reached his door just as he opened it to step out, and the papers that he was holding scattered to the floor as you collided with him. You hadn’t even realized how fast you’d been running until you were knocked on your ass. 

You could hear the heels of the receptionist as she ran over, apologizing to Steve for letting you slip past her, but he waved her off. She reluctantly returned to her desk, and you scrambled to sit up, reaching for everything that had fallen.

“I was beginning to think you’d never show,” Steve joked.

You gave a shaky laugh.

“I uh...I got caught up,” you replied through trembling lips, fingers shaking as you struggled to stack all of his paperwork.

You could feel Steve’s eyes on you, but you avoided his gaze.

“I know I’m late. Our hour is practically over, but I- I just… Um, crap.”

You had dropped the papers all over again, and you both reached for them at the same time. At least, that was what you thought. Steve’s hands covered yours, and you only just realized how badly they were shaking.

“Y/N.”

His voice was soft, exactly what you needed right now, but you couldn’t look him in the eye.

“Y/N, is everything alright?”

Your chest was tight, and you wanted to will your lips to form a yes. You wanted to tell him that everything was fine, but you couldn’t even get the words out. He called your name again, and you suddenly stood, taking the papers with you. You handed them to him as he followed your lead, still avoiding his eye.

“I’m sorry for being late, and I know that you probably have another session-.”

“I don’t,” he interrupted. “Come in.”

You glanced up from beneath your lashes as he opened the door, ushering you inside. You wrapped your arms around yourself as he shut the door behind you.

“Is everything okay?”

You turned your face away from him, unable to keep it from crumbling as you held in a sob.

“Y/N.”

The way he called your name had you freezing in place, a shiver running through you at his firm tone, authority in the one simple word. In a way, it reminded you of Harry, and you looked to him with wide eyes. Seeming to understand what he’d done, Steve sighed before sitting down, making himself appear smaller to show that he wasn’t a threat to you.

“I’m sorry,” he genuinely apologized. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. Please...sit.”

You hesitantly did so and reached out to take the tissue he offered you. You hadn’t even realized that you’d started crying.

“Now… I’m going to ask you again, and I’m begging you to please be honest with me. I’m here to help you in any way I can,” he whispered.

You wiped your face, sinking your teeth into your lip.

“It’s...Harry.”

Steve’s face was pinched with concern.

“What is it? Are you having nightmares again-?”

“No, you don’t understand. He’s calling me,” you confessed.

Steve froze, blinking a few times before his eyes widened, your words finally registering. You sniffed, fighting to hold in a sob.

“It started weeks ago, before we ran into each other that night…”

You didn’t miss the disappointment that flitted over his features, lips pressed together.

“...and I know I should’ve said something then-.”

“You should’ve called me.”

“I know! I know, but… I don’t know. I just wanted to handle this on my own,” you quietly said.

He didn’t respond, and you turned your eyes towards the window.

“Last time...I wasn’t able to get away on my own. I wanted it to be different this time. At first, I simply blocked him but he kept calling and calling from different numbers. Then I got a new phone...and eventually another, but it’s still the same. He keeps finding me,” you tearfully told him. “...and today…”

Your eyes met his, and you were comforted by the concern you saw there.

“Today I was at the police station. That’s why I was late.”

Steve straightened up at this.

“I thought that maybe I could get a restraining order or maybe they could trace the calls to show that it’s him, but the whole visit was useless. They boiled it down to petty relationship drama, and since there’s no record of his violent behavior because I never reported anything…”

You shrugged, scoffing.

“There’s basically nothing they can do. The whole visit was a waste,” you spat.

Steve heaved a sigh, and he slowly reached out towards you, leaning forward.

“I didn’t ask before, but… Is it alright if I hold your hand?”

You nodded. That was what you liked about Steve. He was always asking for your consent with just about everything, even the simplest of things, and it was such a nice contrast to Harry who used to feel like he was entitled to your body. Steve took your hand, throwing you a comforting smile as he eyed you, worried.

“I wish that you had called me,” he said.

You looked down, guilt filling you.

“I could have helped you before it ever got to this point. I have friends on the force, friends in high places who could lock this creep up if you wanted.”

“I feel like an idiot.”

Of course Steve, Dr. Steven Rogers, knew people who could help you. Of course he did! Your stubbornness had gotten you far deeper into this than necessary. 

“What have I said about self deprecating language?”

“Sorry,” you murmured.

“You’re not an idiot. Don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re just a woman trying to find her strength again.”

You hesitantly nodded, and he brushed his thumb over the back of your hand.

“I want you to get rid of your phone,” he suggested.

You frowned, and he continued before you could question him.

“I’ll work on getting a new one for you. A secure one under my name.”

You frowned, not liking the idea of being so indebted to him.

“Steve, I don’t know-.”

“It’ll only be temporary. You can use it until I talk to some people and have him properly dealt with.”

Even though you weren’t keen on the idea, you reluctantly agreed.

“...and you have to promise me one thing…”

You eyed him, holding his gaze as you waited for him to continue.

“Promise me that you’ll call me the second he bothers you again,” he proposed.

Accepting the fact that your stubbornness was doing you more harm than good, you nodded. Steve seemed pleased with that, and with one last pat on your hand, he let you go. As he guided you out of your office, your phone in his hand, you felt more hopeful than you had in over a month. You felt so silly for not seeking out his help sooner, and you couldn’t deny the weight that had been lifted from your shoulders as you settled into your car.

True to his word, at your next session, Steve presented you with a new phone. It had all of your important contacts with Steve being at the top of the list. Embarrassment had flooded you as you thanked him with tears in your eyes. The week without your phone had been the most peace you’d had in a while, and you finally got some much needed rest.

“You haven’t heard anything from him, have you?” he’d asked you.

“No,” you answered, shaking your head. “Not a peep.”

He threw you that same smile that always brought you comfort.

“Good. Even if you never do, you’re always free to call me,” he’d reminded you.

Finally deciding to let your stubbornness go, you did. Talking to Steve outside of your sessions was easier than you thought it’d be. It was like talking to a friend. Sometimes you’d meet up at that same coffee shop not too far from his office, and other times you’d be putting a quick meal together while he was on the other line, listening to you ramble. You soon realized that it wasn’t just his profession that made him that way, but Steve truly was an unbiased listener. He never judged you for any steps back in your progress nor for any of your more self deprecating thoughts.

Best of all, you hadn’t heard anything more from Harry.

Not until he knocked on your door one night.

It was late when you’d heard the pounding on the wood, and having been watching tv in your room, you wondered if you imagined it. It was only moments later that you’d heard it again. Your eyes had widened, sitting up in alarm. No one knew you lived here. Not even your mailman. All of your mail collected at a Post Office box before you eventually went to pick it up. You stood, standing in your room, trembling in fear before a knock on your bedroom window had you screaming.

You didn’t hesitate to call the police, and it took longer than you liked for them to arrive. All the while, you dealt with knocking and pounding on your window and door. Back and forth, it alternated with minutes in between before stopping altogether when the sound of sirens could be heard. Unsurprisingly, and frustratingly, the police didn’t find anyone.

“Look, we’ll get this report down to the station,” the brunette had told you, not looking concerned in the least.

Frustration filled you, and you shuffled on your feet.

“Can’t you...idk, have someone stay here? Not even the whole night but just a few hours in case they come back?”

The tall man sighed, and you glanced at his badge. Officer Barnes, you noted.

“With all due respect mam, we can’t just have one of our officers sitting in your yard because someone knocked on your door-.”

“I told you-!”

“I know, I know. The windows too,” he said, sounding exasperated, and your frown deepened. “The best we can do is get this down to the station. You’re more than welcome to call us again should anyone come back.”

You crossed your arms over your chest as they left, finding no relief. You swallowed as you thought about Steve. You didn’t want to, but Harry had found you, tormenting you by knocking on your house in the dead of night. This was exactly the reason Steve had given you his number. Swallowing down your stubbornness, and with a deep breath, you called him.

He didn’t sound like he was asleep, and for that you were grateful. You would’ve kicked yourself if you had woken him up. Finally getting out why you’d called him was an awkward affair, stumbling over your words, and you felt even worse as he agreed to come over. There was no hesitation, and you couldn’t help but feel as if you were taking advantage of Steve’s generosity. 

You mumbled out your address, surprised to realize how relieved you were. You couldn’t remember the last time you had trusted a man this much. Harry had made you so paranoid, but you supposed that was what therapy was for. This was why you had all those sessions with Steve. To learn to heal and to trust again.

You opened the door with a small smile when he finally pulled into your yard. He was dressed comfortably, and you felt much better about your own ratty t-shirt and leggings, but his casual attire made him no less striking. 

“Thank you,” you breathed as he stepped inside.

“I was up going over paperwork when you called. I’m glad you did,” he told you.

You leaned against the door as you closed it, rubbing your arms.

“I didn’t know if I should. It’s just… He was here, Steve. Knocking on my door and window like something out of a horror movie, and the police treated it like it was nothing,” you complained.

Steve tilted his head at you with a sad smile.

“First thing in the morning, I’m going to make some more calls. Since he’s in town, it should be easy to have him put away. At the very least, a restraining order.”

Relief and hope filled you as you brushed past him.

“I really can’t thank you enough for coming over. I promise I won’t keep you long, just until I feel I can be ok being alone,” you said over your shoulder.

He followed you into the kitchen.

“Can I get you anything to drink? Eat? It’s the least I can do.”

“Some wine might be nice. You might want to pour yourself a glass too,” he suggested.

You chuckled, and he joined you, but you agreed with him nonetheless. You poured a glass for both of you, and you leaned against the counter with a sigh.

“I just don’t understand why he can’t leave me alone. Hasn’t he put me through enough?”

Steve hummed.

“From what you’ve told me, he strikes me as a narcissist. I’d bet that he doesn’t want you to move on,” he mused.

“Maybe,” you distractedly replied as you heard your phone ring. “I’ll be right back. Let me grab that super quick, it might be Nakia.”

Your phone was in your room, but by the time you reached it, it had stopped ringing. Sure enough, it was a missed call from your best friend, and you brought your phone with you to the kitchen, determined to call her back. Steve’s eyes were fond when you returned, and you shrugged.

“I need to call her back. I’ll only be a moment,” you said, swiping your glass.

“Take all the time you need.”

You made your way to the living room, taking your place on the couch as you called her back. She answered almost immediately.

“Hey, what’s up?”

She greeted you with a soft exhale.

“Uh… Harry’s...dead.”

You froze at her words, pulling the glass away from your lips. You blinked a few times, trying to come to terms with what she’d said.

“...what?”

“I just found out. I honestly didn’t know how you’d take the news, but I thought you should know.”

She was right. You yourself didn’t even know how you felt about this news. You had loved this man at one point...but he was also your abuser. This was good news...right?

“How?” you finally asked her.

She sighed.

“Apparently, he’d been missing for months-.”

“Months?”

“Yeah,” she quietly replied. “They found and identified his body today. I just saw it on the news.”

Your stomach twisted as the truth, and the meaning behind it, sank in. Just because Harry had been missing for months, it didn’t mean that he’d been dead for months. It very well could have been him harassing you like you believed. But...if they’d found and identified his body today, then there was no way it was him at your house tonight.

“Thank you,” you eventually said. “Um… I’m glad you told me.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll be okay,” you honestly replied. “I’m just a little unsure of how I feel about all of this, but I’ll call you tomorrow when I’ve slept on it.”

“Alright. Be safe.”

You said your goodbyes and returned to the kitchen with an empty glass.

“Everything okay?” Steve questioned.

Your face must have been an open book.

“Harry’s dead,” you scoffed, blinking as you still fought to process this.

Steve didn’t respond, and just like one of your sessions, he seemed to be waiting for you to continue.

“Apparently he’d been missing for months and they just identified his body today. There’s no way it could have been him knocking on my door tonight, and now...now I’m even more scared than I was before,” you confessed. “God, I can’t even fully come to terms with my feelings on this because I’m realizing that Harry might not have been the only thing I should’ve been afraid of.”

“Hey,” Steve soothingly said, nearing you. “Are you sure it wasn’t someone who got lost? Maybe they had the wrong house?”

You thought about it before shaking your head.

“No, it definitely didn’t seem like that. Oh my God,” you cried, letting your head fall into your hands.

Steve pulled you into his arms, startling you, but you eventually relaxed, the wine settling into your system nicely.

“It’s going to be alright-.”

“What if it isn’t? Because I’m the idiot who thought that Harry was the only possible danger out there, I’ve attracted another without even realizing it.”

“Hey, hey,” he soothed. “Maybe it was nothing, and maybe it was more. Either way, I’m only a phone call away. Say the word, and I’ll have an officer living in your yard if need be.”

You chuckled at that, and nodded.

“Thank you,” you said, looking at him. “I-.”

You swallowed your words when his lips met yours, soft and demanding as they moved against your own. You were stunned, and it took you a moment to realize just what was happening before you pulled away. You stared at Steve with wide eyes, hesitantly reaching up to touch your lips as you took a step back.

“Steve…”

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he breathed.

Your lips parted, a soft gasp escaping you at both his words and the fire in his gaze. It was so sudden and great that it froze you.

“Steve, I think… I think you should go,” you whispered, almost in disbelief.

He frowned at you, tilting his head just a tad as he folded his arms over his chest.

“Go? Why would I do that when you’re not feeling well?”

You opened your mouth to repeat yourself, even demand to know what he meant, but a sudden wave of nausea hit you, head feeling fuzzy. Steve caught you just as you stumbled, and you frowned, fighting to get out of his arms.

“What…?”

“You seemed really tense. I thought you could use something to take the edge off…”

You stared at him in disbelief, attempting to blink away the stars in your vision. Your legs felt like they were made of Jell-O as Steve guided you towards the living room. He deposited you on the couch, and you could hardly do anything as he laid you down, sitting beside you. His blue eyes, normally so soft and comforting, were dark with a longing you had never seen before.

“You were like a wounded little lamb when you first came to me,” he murmured, brushing his thumb over your lip. “So lost...broken… It’s because of me that you’re even halfway back together again.”

His hands moved to slowly undress you, taking his time, and your hands might as well had been air as you tried to stop him. You shuddered as the cool air in the house hit you, nipples pebbling, even more so when Steve brushed his fingers over them.

“I wanted to wrap you in my arms during that first session. Drag you back as you tried to leave, show you how a woman should be touched by a man.”

You were in a state of shock, disbelief coursing through you as you watched Steve undress. Even at his age, the man was a wall of muscle, thick bands making you swallow in fear as you hopelessly tried to tell yourself that this was a dream.

“Steve,” you whispered.

“I had to be patient. I didn’t want to scare you off, push you into the arms of another dangerous man. I had to help you heal before showing the kind of man I can be for you,” he told you, fingers on your face as he neared you again.

Your whole body felt weighed down, and you couldn’t stop your tears even if you wanted to. Your touch was light as you pressed your hands to his chest, feeling like you were going to be sick as he settled over you.

“Harry is gone. He can’t hurt you anymore, and I’m going to make sure no one ever hurts you again.”

The irony was not lost on you, but the way he said that struck something in you, and your mind traveled to the unthinkable. You didn’t get the chance to think about it some more before Steve was forcing himself inside of you. A choking noise escaped you as he filled you to the hilt, your legs spread wide to accommodate his frame. Steve released a shuddering breath, breathing through his nose, body trembling as he delighted in the feel of you wrapped around him.

It was amazing that while all of your senses felt dulled, you could feel his pulsing member inside of you so well. He surrounded you, bulky frame caging you in, and you felt like you would pass out from suffocation. Steve sighed just before his lips met yours, and your stomach clenched as he moved within you. A broken moan slipped out against your will, and Steve groaned at the sound.

“I’ll show you pleasure that you’ve never known, touch you in ways you never felt. I know how to make you happy,” he purred, his pace languid as he thrust in and out of you.

You turned your head away, the furniture of your living room blurring together from whatever he’d slipped into your drink.

“I know your deepest desires and your deepest fears. I know you better than anyone else out there…”

You hated that in a way, Steve was right. You’d bared yourself to him under the guise of trust and healing. He really did know all there was to know about you, and you hated yourself for it. You hated him for hiding his intentions so well, for taking advantage of your vulnerability and trauma. He tutted as you started to squirm beneath him.

“After all I’ve done for you...in all the ways I’ve helped you, the least you could do is give yourself to me. I deserve to reap the benefits of my efforts-.”

You gasped beneath him, legs kicking around him, but he only pressed himself more firmly against you.

“...I’ve gone out of my way to make sure you were safe, to protect you so that no more threats remained to you nor our relationship.”

“You’re crazy-.”

You cut yourself off with a yelp as he nipped at your neck, jerking in his hold as he continued to snap his hips into yours. His hands were gentle on you, a contrast to how he fucked you, his pace increasing with every passing minute. Despite the fact that you could hardly move, he wrapped his arms around you, holding you in place as the sound of your coupling filled the room, your core now wet and slick from his ministrations.

Steve seemed intoxicated, blissfully immersed in the feel of you and how you clung to him. His low groans and moans filled your ear, and you could do nothing as he covered your lips again, tongue tasting you, moaning at the taste of wine that still remained.

“My touch will never cause you harm, bringing you nothing but pleasure for the rest of our lives.”

~

tags:  @xoxabs88xox​ @harryspet​ @readermia​ @opheliadawnwalker3​ @nickyl316h​ @captainchrisstan​ @sebabestianstan101​ @villanellevi​ @lokislastlove​ @notyourtypicalrose​ @coconutqueen21​ @hurricanerin​ @hyoyeoniie​ @sherrybaby14​ @cocoamoonmalfoy​ @mandiiblanche​ @gotnofucks​ @oneoftheprettynerds​ @doozywoozy​ @sapphirescrolls​ @threeminutesoflife​ @searchforanotherway​ @mcudarklibrary​ @buckybarnesplumwhore​ @widowsmaximoff​ @nerdygirl8203​  @supernaturalwintersoldier​ @charmed-asylum  @harrysthiccthighss​ @patzammit​

#dark steve rogers #dark steve x reader #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader

[pterodactylterrace]

Guys Like You Chapter 14

Title: Guys Like You

Chapter:  14

Chapter Summary:  Settling into family life.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: It’s so much tooth rotting fluff. Like... I went overboard with the fluff, I couldn’t help myself.

{Prologue} {Chapter 1} {Chapter 2} {Chapter 3} {Chapter 4} {Chapter 5} {Chapter 6} {Chapter 7} {Chapter 8} {Chapter 9} {Chapter 10} {Chapter 11} {Chapter 12} {Chapter 13}

"Briar." Henry whispered, popping his head into the room where the little girl was playing.

"What?"

"Mama's resting up for tonight, how about you and me go check out that park down the street?" Henry suggested, hushing the girl when she squealed excitedly. Overall, finding a place to move in together hadn't been too much of an effort. Henry found Faye wasn't too picky when it came to homes. She had been impressed by every one they had seen. They had decided on one that was on a nice quiet street, not too far from town, had a big fenced in yard for Kal, enough rooms for everyone plus a park just down the street. Briar had been begging Faye to take her since they had moved in last week, but they found it hard to find time for an adventure while also trying to settle in.

If Henry had to venture a guess, he'd say they were about 3/4 of the way there. The kitchen and the bedrooms had been sorted. Henry's office/gaming room was still mostly in boxes, as well as most of the living room furniture. So far, the only thing not boxed in the living room was the couch, which Faye was currently passed out on. They had intended to unpack more, but Henry could tell she wasn't feeling right. Faye told him it was just a headache, but Henry insisted she lay down anyway.

Now was their chance to sneak out and procrastinate on actually working on the house. Henry made sure her jacket was zipped up and her hat was secure before taking her little mitten clad hand in his, leading the giddy girl down the street to the park. Her eyes lit up when she saw all the different things to play with, from slides to swings to monkey bars, all just waiting for her to climb all over them. Her hand was free from Henry's the second her little sneakered feet touched the grass, darting off to go and play on as many different things as she could.

Henry followed after the little girl, lifting her into the toddler swing at her request and setting her in motion, unable to keep the smile from his face at her elated giggles. He had intended to keep her low, not wanting to scare the little girl, but was soon reminded of her love of baby adrenaline when she started demanding to go higher and higher. He finally reached the point where she was swinging near his face, squealing in laughter the entire time, her little mitten clad hands holding the chains as her feet kicked gleefully.

"Catch, catch!" Briar laughed, twisting around to plant a kiss to Henry's jaw when he caught the seat. "Again!"

Henry was more than happy to comply, releasing the seat and letting her swing again, stepping back and giving another small push. He had half a mind to record her time on the swings; this was the type of moment that the best memories are made of. She was so happy, soaring through the air without a care in the world. He hadn't known her for very long, but he already could tell she was growing up more. She was turning into her own little person, with her own thoughts and ideas. So stubborn, unafraid to take risks and she had him wrapped around her little finger. Just like her mother. He somehow felt bad for missing out on the first years of her life, even though he didn't know her then. She deserved to have a father figure to spoil her. She needed someone in her life to show her how a woman should be treated so she wouldn't settle with someone that wasn't right for her.

How her own father could want nothing to do with her was baffling to him. She was the sweetest little girl. She would constantly pop out of nowhere to squeeze his leg in a hug and scurry off again. Every time he picked her up, she would kiss his cheek and throw her little arms around his neck. She cuddled close for bedtime stories, always reacting like it was the first time whenever he would read one to her. How anyone could decide not to be a part of her life was beyond him, but at the same time he was glad. If her biological father hadn't been a complete douchebag, he wouldn't be where he was now, living with the woman he had fallen with so hard, so fast. He wouldn't have a house to fill with their own memories together. He wouldn't have someone special with him at the premiere tonight. He wouldn't have taken the little girl with him on a sneaky adventure to the park while the woman he loved was napping on the couch. He wouldn't have his own little family so for that, he was grateful.

"Down!" Briar decided when she swung back to him, her eyes locking on the slides and large play structure not too far away. Of course, she would want to climb on something while she was there. Henry stopped the swing's motion and unfastened the little girl, her feet barely touching the ground before she was sprinting off again toward the slides.

Henry chuckled to himself at the little girl's excitement, sitting down on a nearby bench to keep watch as she played. She was a little ball of energy, climbing the ladder to the slide and going down head first, giggling the entire time. She zipped across the play yard, climbing the large structure in the middle and going down the curly slide on one side. Henry settled back into his seat as he observed, silently patting himself on the back. She would be too worn out to throw up a fuss for the babysitter when they had to leave later. He just hoped Faye was feeling better by then. He would hate to drag her out for something this important when she felt unwell.

Her stunning dress had been delivered just two days ago, her face lighting up when she caught her first glimpse of it. Henry knew she would look beautiful in it. He also had the feeling she would look even better when he took it off later that evening. The couple had wasted no time in christening every surface they possibly could. Their bed, the bedroom wall, the shower, the vanity, the couch, the kitchen counter, the table. Everywhere they could possibly get to and not wake the baby was fair game.

Between moving, and the premiere, he also had his mother's birthday coming up. That was something he needed to remember to tell Faye about. It had somehow slipped his mind with everything else going on. He had told his mother they would all try to make it out to see her for her birthday, but he had somehow forgotten to bring it up to Faye. Hopefully she didn't have anything else planned. His mother was really looking forward to meeting her.

Henry slowly scanned around the play area of the park, taking note of everyone else around. It quickly became apparent that all the other adults were women. Most of which were currently staring at him, quite possibly recognizing who he was. He really should have worn a hat to hide behind. Would that look weirder though? A random guy sitting on a park bench, hiding his face behind a hat, watching children play? Why weren't there more fathers out with their children? Sure, his own father worked a lot when he was growing up, but he always had weekends off, and he made sure to make time for his family on those days. This was a Saturday afternoon, shouldn't there be at least one or two other men around? His overthinking was making him more and more uncomfortable the longer he dwelled on it.

"PAPA!" Henry jumped up without thinking, his current train of thought instantly cut off at the child's scream. His eyes locked on her in a second and he dashed across the playground in four quick strides to kneel down next to the little girl on the ground who was holding her knee and crying. He was suddenly grateful no other men were around. It would have been really awkward for him to go running up to someone else's kid like that.

"Hey, hey, it's ok." Henry soothed, picking her up and letting her cry into his neck. "What happened, princess?"

"I... I fell do-down." Briar sobbed, clinging to him as he rubbed her back.

"It's ok. You're ok." Henry assured, deciding then was the best time to take their leave as many sets of motherly eyes had already locked on him, now hyper aware of his presence. This seemed to be quickly going from a fun bonding experience to Henry being turned into eye candy as he tried to soothe a crying child.

Briar had calmed down considerably by the time he had gotten them home, though he decided to continue carrying her anyway. If he had to guess, she wasn't exactly in the mood for walking. He tried to be quiet when he came back inside, hoping not to wake Faye and alert her to their sneaky adventure; it didn't matter how quiet his entrance was however, as Faye was already waiting by the door when he came in.

"Is she ok?" Faye asked softly, looking at the girl still clinging to him as though her life depended on it.

"I fell down." Briar sniffed, slowly reaching to her mother for more coddling.

"I bet that was scary." Faye soothed, taking the child in her arms and kissing her head softly. "Did you fall off of something at the playground or did you just trip?"

"Just trip." Briar mumbled, cuddling close to her mother.

"How did you know where we went?" Henry asked suspiciously, raising a brow as he began taking his coat off.

"Oh please, it's not rocket science. She's been begging to go since we moved here, you'll do anything she asks and the playground is in the direction I saw you two coming from. Busted, mister." Faye explained as she helped the little girl out of her coat and mittens.

"It wasn't sweeties before dinner this time." Henry defended himself, stealing a kiss as he reached beside her to hang up his coat, taking Briar's and hanging it up as well.

"You should have woken me up, I would have loved to have gone too." Faye pouted, slowly letting the squirming child down.

"You weren't feeling well, and tonight is an important night." Henry reasoned, resting his hands on her hips and pulling her closer.

"So you really want the babysitter coming here with everything still in boxes?"

"If I hurry, I can probably make the living room look livable. At least mount the TV or something. Possibly just set the iPad up on the coffee table and pretend that's what we use as a TV."

"Yes, because I'm sure they will believe that a giant geek ass dork nerd like you would have such a tiiiiiny little screen to watch his nerd shows on."

"Well I did find myself a small woman. Maybe I just really like little things." Henry teased, kissing the top of her head.

"Who do you think you're calling small?"

"You." Henry shrugged, kissing the top of her head again.

"I will have you know, I am not small. Everything else is just big."

"That's what you always tell me that every time we - ouch!" Henry chuckled, rubbing his ribs where Faye had poked him.

"That did not hurt."

"Well it didn't feel nice either!"

"We need to get the living room unpacked, come on." Faye insisted, quickly poking his ribs again and dashing off to the living room, Briar poking Henry's hip and racing off after her mother.

"Woman! You are teaching the baby bad habits!" Henry chastised, pursuing after both of them.

"I am doing no such thing! She needs to learn your weaknesses." Faye taunted, keeping the couch between her and her boyfriend.

"I already do whatever she asks, why does she need a weakness?" Henry laughed, slowly circling around one side, both girls skittering around to the other.

"One day you may say no." Faye shrugged, squealing when Henry reached over the back of the couch, grabbing her wrist and pulling her to him.

"Now why would I ever say no to either of my girls?" Henry asked, cupping her jaw and kissing her softly.

"There might be an occasion." Faye reasoned, bumping her forehead against his, her other hand sneaking up to tickle his ribs again.

"Would you stop?" Henry grumbled, dragging her over the back of the couch and wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"I will never stop."

"Papa, no!" Briar gasped, running around to the back of the couch and grabbing her mother's hand. "Mama, come on!" She urged, trying to pull her free.

"Oh what, now you're on her side? I thought you were on team me!" Henry gasped, letting Faye be pulled from his arms.

"Gonna get you!" Briar giggled, attempting to tickle at his leg.

"Ok, now this is not fair!" Henry grouched, letting Faye go to snatch Briar up instead. "Two on one, really?"

"Papa, down!" Briar squealed, wiggling when he started to tickle her sides.

"Down? Now why would I put you down?" Henry laughed, jumping and barely suppressing a swear when Faye snatched his ribs again.

"Briar, I'll make you a deal. I'll let you go if you help me get Mama." Henry stage whispered to the child, setting her down and chasing after her mother when she darted off down the hall.

"Mama!" Briar cheered, chasing after the two, Kal now following the rest of the family to the kitchen.

"I know what you're planning, and it's not a good idea." Faye warned, slowly backing up to the counter.

"Oh, and why is that?" Henry asked, pressing up close to her, pinning her between his body and the counter.

"I'll tell on you."

"And who are you gonna tell? Briar? She's on my side now, remember?"

"Uhh... how about your mother? Would she side with me?"

"Oh!" Henry lit up, his mind jumping to another subject while he still had her trapped by his body. "That reminds me. My mum's birthday is next week, she's wanting us to come."

"That's a bit of a distance, isn't it? You have to factor in a toddler sized bladder into all travel plans now, my love."

"That is true. We also have to worry about Briar having to stop for restroom breaks."

"Oh, Mr. Somebody over here thinks he has jokes." Faye scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"We can fly there, it won't be as bad." Henry reasoned, kissing the top of her head. "She's really wanting to meet you two."

"Wait, she knows about us?"

"Faye, do you really think my mother wouldn't know about the woman I've been dating for the last ten months? We've moved in together, I think the people close to us are starting to suspect something."

"But I mean... does she know about us?" Faye asked, her eyes flicking down to the little girl trying to climb Henry's leg.

"She's excited to have another little girl to spoil. For some reason, us Cavill's just don't have very many girls."

"And she's ok with that?" Faye asked, fiddling with the hem of her shirt nervously.

"Why wouldn't she be?"

"I don't know. It's... a lot. It was a lot having you step in and step up like you did. It just doesn't seem like something a mother would want for her baby boy."

"I'm in my thirties." Henry snorted.

"Yes. You are over six feet tall, over two hundred pounds and over thirty years old. You are also her little baby boy."

"Briar, am I a baby?" Henry asked, reaching down to scoop her up.

"No, you Papa Bear!" Briar giggled, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"And there's also that. Since when does she call you Papa?"

"She just yelled it a the park." Henry shrugged. "Is it something we need to discuss?"

"Well I mean... if the shoe fits." Faye mumbled. "I just don't want her to freak you out."

"I've been acting the part for a while now, if it bothered me, I would have said something. We're a family now, Faye. You're stuck with me."

"Oh am I?"

"Yes you are. If you leave, I'm going with you. Right Kal?" Henry asked, looking down at the canine, his tail swooshing across the floor in excitement at being included in whatever was going on.

"So now I have three children to worry about?" Faye groaned, her head falling back in mock annoyance.

"It would seem that way, yes. One is very easy to care for, however. He can let himself outside and his food is on an automatic timer."

"I don't know if you mean you, or Kal."

"Alright, two of us then."

"Enough with the distractions now, Mister Sir. We have more work to do around here." Faye reminded, reaching up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek and taking Briar from his arms.

"So, I'm going to unpack the living room and you two are...?" Henry fished, reluctantly releasing Faye from her prison.

"I'm gonna help Briar get her room the way she likes it."

"Her room was the first thing we did." Henry pointed out suspiciously, his eyes narrowing as Faye skittered around him. "Oh no, you get back here, Woman!" He called, taking off after them again, mother and daughter both laughing as Faye hurried to Briar's room. He caught up with the two of them just as Faye was setting her daughter down, quickly snatching his girlfriend up and playfully biting at her neck. "You are not getting away that easy!"

"It was worth a shot." Faye sighed, letting him drag her back to the living room where he promptly sat on the couch, settling her in his lap and resting his head on her shoulder. "This doesn't seem like unpacking." She teased, resting her head against his.

"Of course it is. We are visualizing how we want it to look." Henry chuckled, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. "What are you thinking?"

"Hmm... TV over the fireplace?"

"A solid choice."

"Coffee table in front of the couch. Side table over there. Briar's little table and chair over there. Probably put Kal's bed next to it."

"He'll lay next to her whether we put the bed there or not." Henry pointed out.

"True. How good are you at putting together IKEA furniture?"

"It is definitely going to be a job for another day." Henry decided, eying the few new pieces they had gotten for the larger living room.

"The toys should probably be near Briar's table so she's not tracking them everywhere. Kal's toy basket can go by his bed. We'll find a place for the pictures once we have the big stuff figured out."

"Sounds perfect." Henry agreed, holding her a little tighter when she tried to stand up. "Just a few more minutes of visualization."

"If you keep putting it off, it'll never get done."

"I'm not putting it off. I'm prioritizing physical contact with my lady right now."

"You just don't want to mount the TV."

"It's a pain in the ass to mount that thing." Henry groaned, looking at the still heavily wrapped TV leaned against the wall.

"It's your TV."

"And I did the sensible thing and paid extra for someone else to fight with it the second time I moved."

"We should have done that with all the furniture."

"Feels less personal, though."

"That's true. Now come on, big guy. We've got stuff to move around." Faye sighed, sliding from his lap and offering her hand to him to help him off the couch, not that he needed it. She would take any excuse she could to touch him, however.

The pair got to work, Henry doing the literal heavy lifting despite Faye's protest that she could move things on her own. They managed to get the furniture - minus the TV - in place; Briar occasionally popping in with a new snack every time, offering each a bite before scampering off again. Faye was putting Briar's toys in her toy chest while Henry went through the boxes, looking for any others containing toys.

"Oh, I found the bath toys!" Henry announced, holding the box up proudly.

"Oh, great. Briar's going to be thrilled when she takes her next bath." Faye sighed in relief. To say the little girl had been less than thrilled to have a plain no-toys-or-bubbles bath was an understatement. As it turns out, no more tears shampoo does not apply when the cause of the tears is from lack of toys.

Henry was putting the toys in the cabinet, down low where Briar would be able to choose what she wanted for herself, when he first saw it. It was a blue and white box with one particular word that grabbed his attention without even trying.

"Faye?" He called, his heart in his throat as he picked up the box, raising a brow at her when she appeared in the doorway, unable to force himself to form words.

"I haven't taken it yet." Faye admitted, seeming to shrink in front of his eyes, the words on the box staring accusingly at her.

Tesco Health Pregnancy Tests

Taglist: @Xxxkatxo @Weallhaveadestiny @lunedelorient @summersong69 @mis-lil-red @lharrietg @amberangel112 @mansaaay

#henry cavill #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill rpf #guys like you #guys like you fic

[kirencer]

febuary seventh (i’m seeing you)

Y/n and Spencer's relationship collide around a single day: the one where they first looked into each others eyes.

[Or, the all of the secret love letters they wrote during the beginning of their relationship]

Word count: (part one and two) 9.2k

Warnings: Language

Rating: Gen audiences

A/N: it was too long for tumblr, so I broke it into two parts!! Enjoy. GN! Afab reader (it’s important, trust me)

Part Two

Y/n looked up. They had just finished reading Spencer’s journal, the one dedicated to them. Spencer was kneeling and in his hand was a small box, the dainty ring he’d gotten years ago from his mom sat in between the white.

“Will you, Y/n L/n, do me the greatest pleasure by marrying me?” Spencer said with his anxiety showing through. Y/n gasped and threw themself at Spencer, wrapping their arms tight around him.

“Yes!” they cried, pulling away for Spencer to slide the ring on their finger. Then they took a deep breath. “Wait here.”

They disappeared into the two’s bedroom, rummaging through some things before running back with a black binder in hand. “It’s only fair if you see my unsent love letters, too.”

Spencer grasped it and flipped the binder open as Y/n guided him to the couch.

“They’re in order but aren’t as neatly organized as yours - I stopped writing before you did, though.”

————————————————

For Spencer Reid, february 8th 2008 10:17 am

It was yesterday, a little more than 24 hours ago at 6 am that I was on a bus. Tiny, white and cramped, but now I realize it was actually a ferry to the love of my life. Even though at the moment all I cared about was when I was going to get to stretch my legs next, it still buzzed with excitement because I was about to be in your city even if you didn’t come to see me, that would’ve been enough. Being three feet away from you is more than enough. Being Two inches away from you is bliss. But your head on my shoulder is nirvana.

But then, only two hours after I had started my d&d campaign (the moon isles or something) there was an urge to look behind me. I tried to ignore it but I looked anyway.

What I saw scared me. Not because I’m afraid of you Spencer, but because I was scared of myself. I wanted to run to you and hug you, but I was too scared of scaring you away that I didn’t. My head seemed to spin as a second glance felt like a hundred years. Then a smile broke out on my face and I looked away. At first I didn’t think it could be you, I half screamed at the two people sitting on the left side of me. “Don’t look now, but my boyfriend’s here” of course they looked and Sophia told me that you were walking over here.

My insecurities flared up, but I remembered that you love me, even though I'm tired and probably covered in acne. She said you sat down behind me and I risked a quick glance, or two, or three times every two minutes. I tried to act as normal as possible even though if I looked back I would see the smile that lifted your cheeks when I looked at you. It was hard to focus on my campaign because it’s cliche, but I could sense you behind me and I was shaking. My friends were hyping me up to say Hi and I was trying to not scream. I ran to the bathroom, splashed water on my face and tried to calm down. I ran back, probably looking a little too excited. Ok, I was totally too excited.

My campaign finished up, you caught me staring at you a few times and my friends told me you were looking at me anytime we all made a loudish noise. After that, you followed us to lunch, well, followed me. You stood beside me and I said Hi, you replied the same. Then you grabbed your stuff and seemed to have left. I visibly deflated, my one chance to see you and I missed it. Then you came back, with a takeout bag in hand and some fries. I didn’t mention it already but you looked adorable in your glasses, from afar they look too big for you but then you see the big warm eyes behind them. Your cheekbones are so nice and everything about you is handsome, even more than I could have imagined. Photographs don’t do you justice. I hoped you had liked your dice, I got the red and black ones but I was scared you didn’t like yours.

You sat directly in front of me and my friends (Deriasia and Emma) immediately made fun of me and I almost died. At that moment. When you smiled and laughed. My friends gave us their blessing, which kinda fit because you were as tense as if you were meeting my parents.

I asked you to sit with me during the next campaign and you did (we snuck you in without paying). You played with the first character I ever played (Bida the high elf wizard). I was almost too distracted to really compete in all the things, instead focusing on you. You let me use your journal to doodle, a weird eye and a girl. Did you notice me fiddling with my hands? If I didn't keep them busy I probably would’ve put my hands in your hair or grab your hand. I remember you asking me if I needed a hug. I said yes and I think that hug is the most important one I've ever had. You laid on me and I didn’t care what my friends would say, all that matters was you.

My skin in two weeks will not remember the feel of your hair, my lips will not remember your cheek, but my brain forever will. At that moment, physical immortality is not as important as the immortalization of those touches.

They linger in my head, fuzzy and soft on my skin but they’re there.

I remember you telling me not to buy you anything (i still got you a resin skull magnet and dice) I remember flirting with you, i remember it all. I remember how you know all of Sappho’s poems and fragments, I want to remember everything about you. I know I won’t, you’re the one with the crazy good memory, after all.

I wish I would’ve looked in your eyes and told you that I saw you. I wish I would’ve pressed my lips to yours, but then again there’s always next time. And next time I will, even if it’s right in front of the whole world. Because I love you. I really fucking love you and everyone can suck it. I love you.

And I think that’s all that matters.

____

I have waited almost six months to hold you in my arms, and now I wait longer. I hate myself, I didn't hug you. I should’ve.

I didn’t tell you I love you enough, I didn’t kiss you properly. I wish I did.

Currently my arms ache to hold you, my eyes burn to see you and my lips yearn to touch yours. I can’t wait to indulge myself in thousands of kisses, I hope they are as sweet as your skin. Kinda licked my lips after kissing your nose, cheek, and right under your neck. You taste sweet, I think I'm addicted.

I still feel the ghosts of your touch on my skin, I love it. I love you. I want to have your actual skin under my fingertips, to hold you when you wake up from a bad dream, to dance with you under the stars. Decide what song is ours and argue over how cheesy it is. Cry on the day we say our vows, cry at the birth of our first child, cry when they go to school, cry when they grow up, cry when I realize that we did it. I can’t wait to have life with you.

If there’s such a thing as soulmates then the word was made to describe us.

I love you.

____

I fell asleep, I woke up right before you texted me. I dreamt about you, in my mind I fell asleep with you in my arms. In my mind I am sitting in a cafe, right across from you drinking tea.

I prefer it to real life, by about an infinite percent. My friend came in and basically yelled at me to let him use my box, I told him to fuck off. I know I won’t be able to fall back asleep but I do hope to continue my dream tonight. Currently im trying to believe that you think i’m “stunning” it’s starting to work it’s way into my mind that i’m not ugly.

Spencer, I love you.

You have such an effect on me, the first week we were together you weaseled your way into my mind. You sprouted a tree that is still a sapling but has rooted to the core of my mind, slipping into my heart and spreading through my limbs. You’re almost a drug (the only one I approve of).

You’re poison, searing through my veins and warning my skin. But you’re not toxic, you’re candy, sugary sweet, something tangible that almost floats in and out of existence.

If you are a God, I am your most loyal patron.

____

Time is meaningless but it goes so fast, only eight minutes left to talk then my day ends. So many more ‘I love you’s I could say.

But time will not permit our love, that’s fine, I’ll wait it out till the end.

You’re worth it.

Seven Minutes

____

You always deny that you’re adorable, and that’s so adorable.

It’s frustrating sometimes because you’re so beautiful you deserve to know it. But oh well, i’ll just have to prove you are.

I told you I’d rather go on a date with you first before doing anything sexual. you also deserve to know your love is all I need, not your body (that’s just a perk)

You’re hot, sue me!

____

In the shower, I have most of my daydreams. Ranging from cotton candy clouds to a place where my parents accept me. However, the best daydream i’ve ever had is about a boy. A boy with chocolate brown eyes and a beautiful smile. Ding Ding Ding, his name is Spencer.

My dream is about his last name, well it involves it. I imagine myself talking to him while I say an important speech, in front of a crowd of people. I’m talking about our relationship, about how much I love you, and how much I can’t wait for the next chapter of our life to start. I always tear up when everyone is quiet at the end, and then you say what you have to say. It’s fuzzy and I don’t remember any of it (kinda want you to make your own in the future) but after you say it. It's time.

You say two words, so low only I and the person standing next to us can hear, “I do”

That’s the best day dream I’ve ever had, because I know it won’t be just a dream (I hope)

____

The best part of my day is looking at any photos from you: they always make me smile. Even when my day has been utterly terrible, your bright eyes are always a light in the dark.

I often don’t even need to think about you to have your smile in my mind, it’s just there, like a constant bright sunshiny beam. A single thought about you makes my day, a single touch my year, remembering that you’re mine makes my life a whole much better.

You, make living better.

I live for you, you’re all I ever want to have.

Je suis fou amoureux de toi.

____

So uh, you might have noticed but I don’t know how to talk to people, let alone talk to you.

It’s not that I have nothing to say, I have too much to say. It all bubbles in my mind and makes me jump on topic every three seconds. But when it comes to you, I'm stuck on which way to tell you I love you.

So, how about all of them?

I don’t need to focus on a single part of your face to know that it’s beautiful, but I do. All the parts work in harmony, like a choir. But individually they are still beautiful. I love every single inch of your face, individually and together.

I love you for your personality, I fell in love with a genius who is so much more than his memory or intelligence. Then I fell in love with a sweet boy who whined when I said self deprecating things. When we first met, I instantly fell in love again, with a shy boy who would look up at me from under his lashes.

Fuck, my mind is racing too much to distinguish anymore. But, I hoped I showed you.

That, I love you now, and forever will.

Happy Valentine’s day, my love.

____

Happy anniversary, god I can’t believe it’s been five months already. It seems just yesterday I was crying over whether or not I should continue liking you (i had told myself I wasn’t good enough for you).

Well, turns out I was wrong. I’m just enough for you. It doesn’t matter to me anymore if you’ll ever leave me, well, it does, `but there’s something more important, you being loved and being happy is what matters. And I can’t wait to give you what matters.

I love you babe! I’ll try to write more to show it.

____

My mind is a cavern of echoes, words (well a name) revertibrating in my skull.

The things used to be about art, school, anything slightly important.

But now, it’s filled with the most important person in my life. Analyzing the color of his hair (a warm brown), thinking of his eyes, thinking of his name and my name with a change; Spencer Reid (and sometimes Y/n Reid) has taken over my mind and burrowed into my soul.

I think if the red string of fate was real then we’d have been connected when we first met. Fuck, we are connected.

If we weren’t why would I have fallen in love with you? It was fate that I sent a letter to a wrong address, fate that I stumbled upon the boy that would change my life for the better.

Our souls are connected, being pulled because of the distance though, and I can’t wait to be with you. Not two halves of a whole, but two souls that fit like a puzzle piece.

I love you, and you love me. Even though I'm a coward.

When we have a daughter, her name should be Rhiannon. We will both dote on her like the goddess she is. Just a thought :>

____

You were in my house today. I think I'm dying, I'm wearing your sweater. It smells like you. I think you left it behind on purpose.

You smell really nice. It’s not like a cologne or anything, but it's nice. You’re nice

You kissed me. You’re a really good kisser. You should do it again and again and again.

I got the news yesterday, my transfer went in, I'm sending my letter to you tomorrow. I know you’re in my city but I'd rather it be like this.

I don’t think i'm going to write any more, don’t think that means i don’t love you!!

I am going to hold you for hours, I promise, I love you.

————————————————

Spencer finished reading and smiled up at his new fiance. “We were such dorks! It's crazy how similar we thought.”

Y/n nodded and looked down at their ring. “We were dorks in love! Um, so how do you feel about the name Rhiannon?”

“It’s pretty, but I don’t think we need to be worrying about baby names - we need to figure out how to tell my team we’re engaged.” Spencer quipped, wrapping his arms around Y/n before it hit him.

Y/n’s morning sickness, the weird secretive doctors appointment, and what they had just said. “No!” he whispers, a smile growing on his face, “I’m gonna be a dad?”

They nod and bury their head into Spencer’s chest. Spencer can’t stop the smile that beams across his face. He grabs Y/n and spins them around in his arms, “This is the best news!!”

He pressed a deep kiss to Y/n’s lips, then went onto his knees to wrap his arms around Y/n. “Jason Derek Reid if it’s a boy and Rhiannon Penelope Reid if it’s a girl.”

Y/n smiles and nods, “I was thinking the same thing.”

“Let’s be on the same page, forever from now on, okay?”

They nodded, Spencer’s hands finding place on their back as he pressed his lips right below Y/n’s navel. Y/n’s hand’s dug into his hair: “Forever.”

Years later the two do indeed wake up on a Saturday morning to impatient kids who demand to be made pancakes. Sometimes after a hard case they do dance at three am in their underwear. Sometimes they do a lot of things in their underwear. They’re together in every way imaginable.

And to them? It’s the most important thing that could ever be possible.

The End

part one

#spencer x you #spencer reid x reader #ao3 #reader insert #writing #pregnancy

[we-are-inevitable]

not moving on, not looking back // javid (ch. 10)

A/N: y’all know the drill

TW: discussion of abuse (physical and substance related)

Read On AO3!

And that’s how it starts.

They stop at David’s beforehand so he can change out of his slacks, shirt, and tie, and if David purposefully wears an outfit to elicit a certain response from Jack, he plays it off pretty well. He had changed into a tight white t-shirt and a pair of jeans that fit in all the right places, hidden under a baggy hoodie that he didn't take off until he was safe within the walls of Jack’s home. It feels… empty, now that Katherine isn’t there to fill the space with her voice, her presence.

It’ll be an adjustment, but as long as Katherine and Jack are okay with it, then David will follow their lead.

David sits alone on his phone while Jack goes upstairs and changes. He scrolls through twitter for a while, until he hears footsteps and-- oh, holy shit. Jack walks into view wearing a black sleeveless muscle shirt and gray sweats, and his hair looks so deliciously messy from combing the gel out. He’d clearly gone for the more comfortable look, and David has to stop himself from staring.

“You want anything to drink?” Jack asks as he walks into the kitchen, which prompts David to stand and follow him. Jack grabs a beer from the fridge, offering a second to David.

“Hey, I know we kind of talked already, but… How are you? Like, really?” David asks as Jack takes a drink.

Jack takes in a deep breath and shrugs as he hops onto the island in the middle of the kitchen, swinging his feet. He looks up at David, who has positioned himself to lean against the counter about two feet in front of Jack. “It… It tore me up for a while last night, after she told me, but honestly? I feel a lot better. Like a weight’s been lifted. I had a bad panic attack, but we talked more last night than we’ve talked to each other in ages, and I… I feel like I got my best friend back, y’know? I didn’t get a lot of sleep, though, just… because it’s makin’ me think about stuff I ain’t never thought about before.”

“Like what?” David asks softly, tilting his head before taking a sip of the beer. “Not that- I mean, you don’t have to tell me, but maybe I can help a little. I don’t mind.”

“It’s just… Family stuff,” Jack admits, then rubs his forehead. “We told my Ma last night and she was, y’know, a bit disappointed, but she understood. I just… The whole divorce thing makes me feel like my dad,” Jack explains softly, crossing his arms over his chest. For someone who is nearing thirty, Jack looks like a vulnerable teenager right then. He slowly looks up into David’s eyes, gulping. “He always said he regretted not getting a divorce. He wasn’t a good guy at all. Homophobic, real republican, but my mom married him because he had a good job and a good family. He was the one to kinda push the whole football thing on me, but I was never good at playin’, y’know? Loved the game, but I didn’t have any skill, trust me," Jack says with a chuckle, shaking his head.

“Did they get a divorce? Your parents?”

“No, my, uh… My mama died before anything was finalized, and everything kinda took a turn. I got… I don’t know. I was really fucked up for a long time. The school counselor suggested that I start drawing my feelings or starting a journal or something, and it worked. Really well, actually. I loved it.”

“Is that what got you into art? Kath mentioned that you wanted to go to art school,” David murmurs, moving to lean against the island, right next to Jack’s leg.

“Yeah, actually,” Jack says with a laugh, then gulps. “My dad wasn’t a fan of me doing the art stuff. I took an art class in middle school, and we had a showcase at the end of the year. I invited him to it, and he-- Do you, uh, do you mind if I talk about this? I don’t wanna force, like, heavy shit on you if you aren’t comfortable,” Jack cuts himself off, looking at David with a gulp. “I’ve only ever told my ma and Kath about this. My dad just… wasn’t a nice guy.”

“Thanks for checking in, but I don’t mind, okay? I’ll tell you if I’m ever not in the right headspace, but, Jack, you’re going through a lot. Just let it out,” David encourages with a sad grin.

Jack nods, then takes in a deep breath. “So-- Art show. Dad said he wasn’t gonna come. Told me he wasn’t gonna support me doing something ‘queer’, even though I’m- even though I told him I wasn’t,” Jack explains, taking a long drink from his bottle with a blank expression on his face. “But, uh, he didn’t believe me when I told him I wasn’t, and he… slapped me. That was when I was eleven. The physical stuff continued, ‘specially when football season started up again and he saw that I was on the bench every game, ‘cause I really wasn’t good at it. It got… rough. It only stopped when my coach noticed a bruise when we were practicing and I- I guess I was real stiff and limping real hard, so he told me to sit out, and when I took my pads off, my shirt lifted up, and… My dad was in police custody the next morning.”

“Fuck, Jack,” David says in an apologetic voice, staring at him with a lump in his throat. “I’m so sorry you went through that… Did he go to prison, or--”

“Yeah, there was a bunch of evidence, so- so he went to prison. Really easy case against him. He was supposed to get, um, ten years, I think. The last time I saw him, he told me that he was glad my mom was dead so she didn’t have to see me 'turn gay’- like I said, he was a shitty guy. That… I don’t know. I used to be like that, too, but then one of my friends, a coworker of mine, came out, like… eight years ago?” Jack bites his lip, looking down at his hands after putting his bottle down. “I’ve changed. I realized that I was just actin’ like him. I never realized he was so… bad, until I became an adult.”

“Are you still…” David gulps. “You haven’t talked to your father?”

Jack looks up at David, and smiles sadly. “He had a heart attack in prison, about five years in. So… yeah. I’m all that’s left.”

David is at a loss for words. He doesn’t know what to say. This is not how he thought the night would go, but at least Jack was getting to vent and David was getting to know him on an even more personal level but, good God, Jack had been through so much.

And adding being adopted, losing his daughter, and divorcing his wife into the mix…

Jack has hurt more in his life than he ever let on.

“Jack, I… I don’t know what to say,” David admits with a frown, but slowly reaches out, placing a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “Thank you for telling me all of that. You… You’re so strong, y’know? You’ve been through so much, yet you’re successful and smart and… I know we haven’t known each other long, but I am so, so proud of you. But- but you shouldn't have had to be so strong. You didn't deserve any of that. Not the… Not the abuse, or the homophobia, or the pressure. If you ever need to talk about it again, I’m just a phone call away.”

“Thank you, Davey, that means a lot,” Jack says with a tight-lipped grin, then gulps. “What about you? You got any skeletons in your closet? 'S only fair that you tell me somethin' sad now, y'know.”

David stares at him for a moment. He then holds up one finger and downs the rest of the beer in his bottle, taking in a deep breath once he is done. His eyes close and he tilts his head back, then begins speaking. “From the age of twenty-two to about a month and a half ago, I was addicted to cocaine. I had a brief stint in which heroin was a daily thing, but that stopped after a few months. Too expensive. I regularly had sex with drug dealers in exchange for pills, I’ve been kicked out of gay bars for showing up high out of my mind, I now go to Narcotics Anonymous meetings, and I have to spend, like, ten minutes every morning trying to convince myself not to call in sick just because I’m having bad withdrawals. Bad as in, like, shaking in the shower and crying because I feel like I need to shoot up.” He slowly opens one eye, shooting a sad grin toward Jack. “I guess we’re even, huh?”

Jack stares at him for a few moments, then lets out a laugh as he nods along. “I- I guess you can say that, yeah,” He murmurs, then looks at David with a gulp. “If you ever need anything, just let me know, ‘kay? I don’t… I don’t really have experience with that kind of stuff, but if you ever need anything, I’m here, whether you need to talk, or you… need somewhere to stay,” Jack says slowly, seriously, and David nods. “I’m right here, Dave. Just like you're here for me.”

“Thank you, Jack. I’ve been getting better, I think- the, uh, withdrawals are starting to mellow out, at least a little bit, but it’s just… getting used to sobriety that’s throwing me for a loop,” David admits. He watches Jack’s eyes shift from his face to the empty bottle in his hand, and David shakes his head. “I know what you’re thinking-- I never had an alcohol problem, it was just the drugs. I, uh, don’t drink often, though. Just to make sure.”

David doesn’t drink often because David has an addictive personality. David doesn’t drink often because David knows he’s susceptible to alcoholism if he goes down the wrong path.

It makes him feel better to know that Jack is watching out for him in that way, though.

“If you’re sure,” Jack responds with a kind smile. The two of them fall into a comfortable silence. Jack finishes his beer, David watches him, and everything is… calm.

But not for long.

“Dave? Can I ask you a kind of weird question?”

“Shoot.”

“How’d ya know you were gay?”

David’s eyes widen a bit. He wasn’t expecting... that. He looks up, but Jack refuses to meet his eyes. He’s instead staring at the cabinet above the sink, sitting eerily still, and David isn’t sure how to respond for a few moments. Slowly, David shrugs, and looks down at his hands. “I just never really found an interest in women. Plus, I used to be really into this guy in one of my classes… I don’t know, it was just kind of natural for me. My parents were religious, but they never really said anything about it if I brought guys home for dinner, or if I wore makeup to school. I never really had that… epiphany, I just… I was just gay. Never questioned it,” He explains, holding his breath in the heavy silence that follows. He slowly glances back up toward Jack, expecting to see him staring off into space, but to his surprise Jack is staring right back at him. “Can I ask why you’re asking?”

Jack gulps. There’s a long moment of silence, before he sits up a little straighter. “Kath has been talking about 'self exploration' ever since yesterday. Mentioned she’s, uh… curious.”

“Mhm.”

Jack meets David’s eyes. He stares for a few moments before locking his lips, straightening his posture, and saying, “I think I might be, too.”

There’s a beat of silence. David holds his breath. Holds Jack’s gaze. He waits for a few moments, waiting for Jack to back down, but it never comes. Finally, David gives in.

He asks, breathless, “Wanna find out?”

There’s no more speaking after that.

#jack kelly #davey jacobs #david jacobs #javid #javey #tarrytown au #jac writes #newsies #newsies fic #newsies live #livesies

[avengerscompound]

Running to a Standstill - 10

Running to a Standstill: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count:  1882

Rating:  E

Warnings: nothing much

Synopsis: While on the run from an unknown organization trying to take your son, you meet two super-soldiers.  While they try to help you get to the bottom of who is hunting you and your son, feelings come out and admissions are made that make your personal life even more tricky.

Chapter 10

It wasn’t until the following day that Steve and the other’s finally returned from their mission.  Bucky couldn’t remember ever feeling so excited before.

He was apprehensive and scared, but those emotions were the ones that he often felt the most to the point that they’d become dulled.  Like a drug addict who needed more and more heroin to feel high, it took a big bad before he truly felt fear.  Excitement though?  Excitement was rare and it gave him a high that kept him running until he got word that the Quin was coming into land.

He had no idea what Steve would do.  There were options that could be good or bad and Steve would be well in his right to pick any of them in the pursuit of his own happiness.  But that unknown was almost adding to the excitement.  As was the potential that this could actually lead to something good for him.  That he might actually get to have some love and intimacy, even if he didn’t quite think he deserved it yet.  Just the thought of Steve’s lips on his, or your hands raking through his hair made him shiver and his cock twitch.  He thought if it actually happened he might just explode.

He went up to the landing pad in time to catch Steve and the other’s disembarking.  He approached Steve with Hill, and he immediately went into debriefing mode.  “We found a supply of the drug there,” Steve said, handing a little baggy over to Hill without breaking his pace.  “Have it analyzed.  The guy who sold it to Clint said it can give you powers but how they express varies.  He also said you needed to take them in order.  Red pill to get the powers, blue to turn them off.  Apparently, if you don’t take the blue you can go into cardiac arrest and your lungs stop working.”

“And people are taking these as what?  Recreation?  Fight club?” Hill asked as the group got on the elevator.

“From what I gleaned off people it’s a mixture.  Having powers gives people a high.  I can attest to that from when I was given mine when they first kick in it’s like all your synapsis start firing at once,” Wanda said.  “But there are underground groups where people take them and then fight each other.  There’s even an enhanced prostitution racket happening.”

The elevator stopped and opened up onto the armory.  Steve, Clint, Sam, and Natasha all started putting their weapons and armor back into its place.  Steve began to strip off parts of his suit and handing them back in his locker.  “Thank you, Wanda,” he said to the young woman who was standing back trying not to watch as everyone stripped off in front of her.  “Go get some rest and food.  We’ll debrief this afternoon.”

“Thank you, Steve,” she said and headed back to the elevator.

“Do we know the source?”  Hill asked as Sam, Natasha, and Clint headed into the showers.

“Take a look at the pills,” Steve said.

Hill picked up the baggy and turned the pills around in the bag.  Bucky looked over her shoulder and saw the small image of the skull with tentacles coming out of it.  “So it is HYDRA?” He said.

“Well, we can’t say for sure,” Steve said, gesturing back to the elevator.  “Wanda didn’t pick anything up from the sellers indicating they were HYDRA.  So it could just be someone thinking that packaging it like that will make it more exciting to buyers,” he explained as he, Bucky, and Hill got onto the elevator.  “But it’s a potential lead.  The problem is from what Wanda and Clint came back with was either a mass group conspiracy that the government of Madripoor is supplying the drugs to the citizens or more concerning, that is what’s actually happening.”

“So we need to send in some undercover operatives?”  Hill asked.

“Absolutely,” Steve said.  “Honestly it was my mistake to not have started with that.  So if you could select some agents to do a deep cover operation, and get that to the lab, Hill. I just need to shower and get something to eat and I’ll meet in my office in an hour.”

“You’ve got it, Cap,” Hill said as the elevator stopped.

Bucky followed Steve out and down to the hall.  “I know you want an answer, Buck,” Steve said.  “I want to talk to both of you.”

Bucky rarely had any trouble hiding his emotions, but right now he was buzzing.  “We wanted to talk to you too.”

Steve glanced at Bucky through the side of his eye and unlocked his door.  You were inside at the table eating a sandwich while Geo seemed to be wearing most of a can of Spaghettios.  You looked over when they stepped inside and Geo bounced in his seat.  “Steeb!”  He cheered and scrambled off running over and holding his hands up.  You got up and seemed to move forward and then backed up, eventually settling on going into the kitchen.

“Hey, Geo,” Steve said, hesitating a little before picking the little boy up.  “You’re very messy.”

“Sorry,” you said.  “He likes to try and put the bits of spaghetti on his fingers.  Can I get you anything?  You must be hungry.”

“It’s alright,” Steve said.  “Sit.  I can get myself something.”

You hesitated again before going and taking your seat.  “How did it go?  Did you find anything?”

“Yes and no,” Steve said, putting Geo back in his chair and kissing leaning down to kiss your cheek.  “We’ve got a trail.  We’re going to need to put some undercover operatives on it.”

You nodded and your eyes flicked to Bucky.  Bucky gave a nod and as Steve went into the kitchen you let out a breath.  “Steve,” you said, a slight tremble to your voice.  “I know you ran off yesterday because you didn’t want to confront either of us.  That you had a choice to make and it was hurting you to make it.”

“About that,” Steve said as he pulled out some ingredients for a sandwich. “I know that was a really horrible thing to do.  I’m sorry.  I just needed time to think and I should have spoken to you both first.”  He looked over at Bucky. “You want a sandwich?”

“Thanks,” Bucky said.  His heart was hammering and he was glad you were taking the lead, because he had no idea how to bring up. It was hard enough admitting he was in love with Steve in the first place.

“We were talking…” you said.  “When you were away…”

“Yeah?”  Steve asked.  “I know you both must be angry with me, and you’re in your right.  But if you can just hear me out…”

“Steve,” Bucky said.  “Can you let us go first?”

Steve seemed to blanch, and Bucky could just picture the kinds of things that must be going through his head.  Top of them was probably that you’d both decided you didn’t want him anymore.  Bucky wanted to let Steve speak, just so he wouldn’t panic but if he did and he made a choice it would be too late.  That would be it.  He would have made his call about which person he liked more and the other would always feel like they were playing catch up.

“Right,” Steve said, standing frozen in place. “Sure.”

“How would you feel about… dating both of us?”  You said, your face scrunching up as you spoke.  “You know... polyamory?”

Steve started at the two of you with his jaw dropped.  Geo started opening and closing his hands as he held them over his head and you got up without thinking and started to use some wipes to clean him up.  Bucky felt as frozen as Steve was.  He should have known better.  Steve was a traditional guy.  This was never going to work for him.  Why Bucky even thought for one second he might…

Slowly Steve started laughing.  It was quiet at first and it just got louder and louder.  Bucky blinked at him in shock.  “What’s so funny?”  Bucky said.

“That was what I was going to say,” Steve said.

“You what?”  Bucky asked.

Steve wiped a tear from his eye and went back to making sandwiches.  “I swear to god, Buck,” Steve said.  “Natasha bailed me up on the mission and made me tell her what was bothering me and she said that there was no reason why I had to be monogamous if there were two people who loved me if those two people loved each other.  And you do right?  I’ve seen it.”

“Yeah, Steve,” Bucky agreed.  “We do.”

“So,” you said, standing up with Geo on your hip.  “We’re going to actually do this?”

Steve nodded.  “I guess we have … boundaries we need to discuss but … yeah.  If you both want that, and I want it… what’s stopping us.”

You took Geo over to the couch and turned the TV on for him, putting on some cartoons before returning to the kitchen.  Steve pulled you close to him and hugged you tightly.  “I don’t think there’s anything stopping us,” you said, hugging him back.  “I have spent so long now living in fear and not letting myself be happy.  I’m gonna take it.”

Steve sighed and closed his eyes, breathing you in as he held you.  Bucky stood watching, knowing that he was now part of this, and if he could just will his legs to move, he could be part of it too.  Steve would draw him in close and the three of you would be hugging.  Instead, he just watched like an outsider.

You slowly pulled back and looked up into Steve’s eyes.  He smiled down at you and caressed your cheek with his thumb.  “Okay.  I really need to eat and shower and we can talk a little now, but I have to get back and sign some paperwork, plus we still have to do the debrief.  But how about we ask Tony and Pepper if they’d like to babysit and I take the two of you out tonight.  You know he loves having Geo around.”

“I think that sounds really good,” you agreed.  “But first, I think there might be a kiss that’s been 70 years in the making.”

Steve looked over to Bucky and held out his hand as you stepped back from him.  “What do you say, Buck?  Think it’s time we actually act for a change.”

Bucky approached Steve slowly, his heart hammering in his chest.  When he was close enough, Steve took his right hand and pulled him close.  Bucky leaned in a little.  He hadn’t kissed anyone since before he fell from that train.  The fact his first kiss was going to be Steve - his Steve - was terrifying and exciting all at once.  It was going to change everything between them.  Steve bridged the difference, and Bucky didn’t close his eyes until the last second, afraid that Steve would change his mind and he’d just be left hanging like an idiot.

Bucky closed his eyes and the soft press of Steve’s lips touched on his, Bucky hummed and relaxed into the change.

// NEXT

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #captain america #the winter soldier #steve roger x reader #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes #steve rogers x bucky barnes #stucky #stucky x reader #captain america fanfic #the winter solder fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #running to a standstill

[a-mended-pact]

Chapter : Seven

This chapter is Reader and Spencer finally discussing what's going on. It's a little angst but a semi happy ending.

Taglist is open. 🥰

Part 6

This one is definitely one of my favorite chapters I've written so far.

Word count: 3,121

I am currently experiencing heavy writers block so I would love to know your thoughts or theories!

If you have questions for the series please message or send an ask.

Requests are open

I ended up walking out of the room and I could feel myself shaking. I was infuriated. I had been so upset with everything that happened between Spencer and Cat that I couldn’t see straight. Maybe I was being overly emotional but to be fair I still haven’t slept yet. Spencer had followed me out but neither of us made it far before I saw Ethan sitting in the break room talking to Jj. I glanced at Spencer then back at him. ‘He deserves to be in a cell, not in our break room. You and I both know that.’ He sighed and nodded knowing damn well now was not the time to fully argue with me. My hands were sore. I needed a release from the stress of the past couple of days. I would much rather the endorphins get released by Spencer and I tangled within the sheets.

It had been sometime since Spencer and I had been intimate due to work and me just not being in the mood because of the recent changes in my medication. We hadn’t openly discussed what had been going on with us to anyone on the team. At least I didn't. I wanted to keep things to myself. I had always suffered with dark thoughts and bad coping mechanisms. It wasn’t until Spencer pointed it out when we started living together. That it wasn't pointed out to me. He had spoken to me about it as gently as possible because he understood it was a sensitive topic that could either make me sob or be deeply upset with him and push him away. 

It luckily ended in me trusting his judgement and he set me up with a psychologist. Within a month of therapy they decided I needed meds for my issues. Mood stabilizers, Antidepressants and anxiety medication. It took a lot of trial and error for us to find the right ones that worked for me. I was lucky enough to have a person in my life to love me through the changes I had to experience during that time. I unfortunately suffered from a hazy mind. If I get too focused on something I tend to forget to take all of the above. Spencer always kept a track of when I took them. He’d message me when I needed to when we weren’t together no matter what. 

Of course he couldn’t when he was kidnapped. So here I was having a hard time processing everything I needed to. ‘You need to go home and sleep, eat and take your medication my love.’ As he spoke he cupped my face and rubbed his thumb over my cheek. I couldn’t help but notice the way Ethan looked at me with envy from the other room when I wasn’t staring into Spencer’s golden irises. A part of me felt like Spencer was just trying to get rid of me but I also knew he needed to come home and rest too. I can’t imagine he actually got any while he was kidnapped even if he was presumably only with Ethan. 

I grabbed his hand and held it to my face as I leaned into it. I didn’t care that I had to stretch out my freshly made wounds. If anything the pain was a nice distraction from the whirlwind my mind had become from the ticking of the hours that had gone by. ‘Please come home with me. Ethan will be taken care of and it’s not like the Kitten can get out of her cell. Please.’ His eyes softened as he heard me speak and he went to shake his head no until Emily spoke up from behind us. 

‘Both of you are going home. Neither of you have a choice in the matter. Everyone here has gotten rest but you two. The rest of the team and I can handle this by ourselves for a little while. Go home you two.’ She spoke loud enough to cause a scene and I couldn’t help but wince as everyone stared. ‘She’s right you haven’t eaten a proper meal Y/L/N in days’ Rossi commented from the peanut gallery. I pulled Spencer’s hand away from my face and squeezed it tightly. I hated being called out by anyone that wasn’t him. He has learned how to do it without making me feel guilty over the past couple of years. Right now all I felt was guilt. Guilty over the fact that on top of worrying about Spencer they were worried about me as well. I was such a screw up I swear. ‘ I agree I think I saw you resting your eyes maybe 10 minutes before you headed to the vending machine for an energy drink because the coffee wasn’t working for you anymore.’ Luke commented as he brought me my cardigan that I had draped over my chair at my desk. I sighed as I looked at him. 

‘Guys we are going. I promise.’ Spencer spoke as he began to pull my hand lightly to lead me away from everyone. ‘Don’t forget to put him in a holding cell.’ I said as I pointed at Ethan as his eyes never seemed to leave Spencer and I. I locked on to his gaze and followed his line of sight. Correction: it wasn’t on both of us. It was only on Spencer. 

I squeezed his hand harder than I probably should have. I didn't care. Ethan was truly creeping me out at that moment. Why was he staring at my husband like a child that had their favorite comfort item taken from them as a punishment.  Perhaps in a way that's what I was doing. I knew the moment he and I left they would treat him like an unsub as they should. He'd get no special treatment because Spencer wouldn't be around. I was giddy at the thought and let out a small laugh as I walked out of the building with him in tow.

-----------------

I felt a weight leave my chest when Y/n asked me to shower with her. I logically knew it was probably because she couldn't bring herself to actually wash her hair or even herself.  I was just thrilled over the fact that once our front door was locked into place she didn't turn around and snap at me about what happened between Cat and I.  I knew what I let happen bothered her greatly. We've spoken about it before many times.  I knew this time though I had almost opened Pandora's box. Perhaps I had only placed the key into it instead. 

Still pulling her into my arms as the hot water washed over us was enough to make me sob into her freshly washed hair. I never wanted her to doubt my love for her. Yet here I was showing attraction to two different people and that wasn't fair to her. Sure it hadn't been spoken about nor did she know about the relationship Ethan and I shared when we were much younger. She had a right to know. I knew that. I also knew now wasn't the time to mention it.

I felt her put her full weight into me as the water droplets rolled down her soft skin. She seemed so fragile.  We seemed so fragile.  Maybe I was overthinking. Maybe I was making up scenarios that would never come. Her hand inched up tracing the wound on my chest underneath it's bandage. I tried not to wince but no matter how gently she caressed it with her fingertips it still stung like it did when it was given to me mere days ago.

'I can't believe he did this to you.' Her voice was barely a whisper as if she too were afraid it would shatter the solace we found behind a mere shower curtain.  I caught her hand in mine and placed it over my heart. I leaned in and kissed her as gently as I could muster. She returned it in kind but I could tell she had more to say. So of course I let her. 

'He hurt you Spence and all you've done is protect him. I want to understand but I can't seem to wrap my head around why you'd protect a man that did such awful things to you.' As she spoke I remembered why I let him get away with it. It was simple. I couldn't remember who had actually hurt me. If it were him or Lindsey.  I never coherently saw her. I only saw him and I felt like that was deliberately done. 

'Sweetheart, do you trust me and my judgment on the matter?' As I spoke I pulled away from her to turn the water off and grab a towel wrapping her up in one first before I grabbed my own to dry myself off too. I watched in awe as she dried off and her breast jiggled as she did so. I had to turn my gaze away. Now was certainly not the time to be trying to bed my wife. I would be lying though if I said I didn't want to distract myself from everything that had happened these past few days.

Her and I both needed rest. She needed to eat first to take her medicine.  That was top priority not my raging lust for her. 'I do. I just. I don't know there's things I don't know that I need to know before I make my final judgement on the situation. All I know is that my husband has been sexually touched, kidnapped and tortured in a matter of days and there was nothing I could do to change the outcome besides not walking out of the bureau when Cat touched you through your slacks!'  

I could hear the frustration in her voice as she pulled on her panties and one of my t-shirts from college.  I watched her as she quickly left the bathroom to head into the kitchen. I quickly slid on my gray sweats and rushed after her. I didn't like the idea of her being alone when she was angry and not in a great state of mind. 

'I'm sorry.' I pulled her into me as she began to make herself toast. I placed a kiss on the junction between her neck and shoulder. 'I should have stopped the whole thing sooner. I just kept trying because I was certain if I did she'd slip up but she never did.' 

By now I knew how Y/N's mind worked. 'Spencer you didn't stop her because you didn't want to. Whether you understand your attraction to her or not. You've always wanted to sleep with her. You yourself told me so when we were just friends. Don't start lying to me now about things' She pulled away from me and took the toast and her glass of water to the couch.

I realized then that she had actually made me some toast as well. I turned around to grab my own glass of water and her medicine. I sat beside her and sighed. 'Eat first then take your medicine. If you are feeling up to it I'll tell you before we go to bed tonight. Everything you need to know and probably things you'd rather not hear but as my wife and my best friend you have the right to know everything.' 

She nodded as she bit into her food. Tears were silently streaming down her face already. I knew right now that it wasn't because of me. Not fully anyway she was just overwhelmed.  

We ate in silence. I handed her; her pills and she took them without complaint. If anything she seemed rather numb to everything around her.

'Maybe telling you should wait.' I said as I pulled her to me. 'Thank you for not fighting with me about taking your medicine.' I kissed her cheek. 'I'm proud of you and how well you've held yourself together while I was gone.' She wasn't codependent on me per say but praise was always something I gave her. Especially after mom started to pick fights with me about her medication.  Y/n was a walk in the park for me compared to her. She always felt bad that I needed to take care of her when she wasn't in her right state of mind. 

To be honest though I love taking care of her. She was perfectly capable of doing anything and everything on her own but she trusted me enough to shut her brain off for a bit and let me take the reins for a few hours or even days. Right at this moment was one of those times. It's not like I didn't have days and times like her where I shut my mind off as well because I did and she would baby me and look after me like I am her at this very moment. 

'I'd rather you tell me right now. I don't have the urge to fight or to do much of anything.' I nodded as I pulled her up with me and led her to the bed laying down with her and holding her from behind.

'First and foremost. I am in love with you with every fiber of my being. I don't ever want you to doubt that but I'll understand after I tell you everything if you do but I need you to always remember I will choose you without hesitation, without question.' She nodded after I was done. My fingers traced up and down her hand as I held her as close as possible. 

'I'll always be your best friend first. Then your wife. That was something I told you on our wedding day and I plan to stick by that choice. I only ask that you stay remaining honest with me. I can't stand not knowing what's going on in your mind. As long as we stay honest with one another I know that we can make it through anything.' She pulled my hand up to her lips and kissed it and I couldn't help but sigh in relief. She was more than I deserved and I don't think anyone would ever understand how much I didn't deserve her.

'I'm not sure if it was Ethan that hurt me. I know he was the one to kidnap me but other than that I don't believe it was him. He would never hurt someon-' I stopped myself as I was searching for the right words. I could tell she was waiting with baited breath. 'Ethan would never hurt me like that would most likely be the proper word to say.'

She nodded 'You're holding back love. Just say what needs to be said.  I can take it.'

I bit my lip and exhaled. 'Ethan wouldn't hurt me like that because he has been in love with me since college. We um.. he was- i-' I was struggling trying to form words. The past Ethan and I had together was a good one but he was also my first heartbreak. 

'He was your first love huh? It's okay Spence we all have a past. Some of us just don't stay close to those from it.' As she spoke she rolled over to face me with a soft smile on her lips. 'Keep going. It's okay.' I know all of her wanted to cup my face but she restrained herself and just made due fiddling with my wedding band on my finger. Which is something she always did when we were having a deep conversation. I knew as long as she was playing with mine and not her own that we were okay.

`We were friends for a long time before him and I became intimate with one another.  We always sorta stepped around the subject but one day after class he asked me out on a movie date. One thing led to another and I was in his room and we- we slept together.' She nodded again telling me to continue as her eyes stayed on her moving fingers. 

I made a face. It's not the fact that I didn't want to tell her it was just the fact that I didn't know how. 

'We dated all of college and then we separated when I joined the academy. I made it and he didn't.  We grew apart. One thing led to another and I caught him in a very intimate position with someone. He claimed that the other person involved was the one that started it. He didn't have time to react before I walked out.' 

I didn't dare look at her. I knew it was dumb of me to still be so hurt by what happened between him and I but I was. I trusted him deeply even to this day but I just couldn't let go of the way it looked like that wasn't their first kiss. No matter how many times he proved to me that it was.

Her hand moved to cup my face as she kissed away the small tears that I was shedding.

'I'm sorry he broke your heart Spencer.  You didn't deserve that.'

'After I left we never fully spoke again. I never gave him the time of day. Not fully.  We'd talk as friends and we'd talk for cases such as where Jj met Will but other than that I just shut anything to do with him out.'

I looked at her finally, my vision blurry with unshed tears and she looked at me and smiled softly at me. 'The truth is I was in love with him.  After him I fell in love with Maeve. Then I met you and it's like everything started making sense again.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't drawn to you originally because in some aspects you reminded me of him.  I think that was one of the reasons I first realized I was attracted to you.'

She pulled me in suddenly and kissed me sweetly on the lips.  'I love you Spencer. You and the things that make you, you now. We need to talk about Catherine but I'm getting very very sleepy and all I want from you right now is for you to let me drown in you and pretend for a small amount of time that these past few days haven't happened.' 

I pulled her into me and held her as she buried her face into my hair.  'I love you Mrs Reid more than you will ever be able to comprehend.'

With that we both fell asleep for the first time in 4 days. 

Taglist:

@sassymoon @rainsong01 @onlyhereforthefanfics @itsdars

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer x reader #spencer x you #unsteady keys #spencer x y/n #spencer x reader insert

[0paperairplane0]

Pain

Summary: Loki’s struggling with his mental health and one day, Thor notices his brother’s scars.

Warnings: Self-harm, suicidal thoughts, mental illness, angst

Words: 2259

A/N: I was thinking one day that Loki’s obviously dealt with mental illness before and wanted to write a little bit about it idk. This is very angsty and does have self-harm so if that triggers you, don’t read. I’ve never written angst before so sorry if it’s a bit sloppy! I’m really sorry if you’ve ever had to go through anything like this and I really, really, really hope it gets better.

Speech = Bold

Thoughts = Bold + Italic

——————————

It was hard, but he was used to it. For centuries, all he did was fake. Fake a laugh, fake a task, fake a smile. It was easy for him. It brought him comfort. The thought always made him laugh. Going through stress, anger, pain every day yet, pretending everything was okay and lying, brought him comfort. It was familiar, to lie and pretend, so it helped. Going through his day with perfect posture, everyone thinking he was proud and in love with himself. Often, he found himself saying “I, Loki of Asgard, am burdened with glorious purpose.” Most think he’s just narcissistic and full of himself but, the opposite. He tells himself he’s great because he knows it’s not true. He’s the monster parents tell their children about at night. He hated himself, but it was easier to let everyone believe he loved himself, and maybe one day convince himself of it as well.

This was just another day. He got out of bed, brushed his teeth, made his hair, and changed his clothes. He was ready to leave his room. He reached for the doorknob and walked out. He headed towards the kitchen where no one was to be found. It was predictable considering it was 4:45 am. He’s always been a person who enjoys mornings. They’re calm and quiet with no one awake. He also doesn’t sleep much. He’ll go to bed at 1:00 and wake up at 4:30. It was a schedule and it was enough sleep for him. Nightmares also didn’t help.

He grabbed the kettle and put it on the stove where he made some tea. He put it in a teacup and added some milk but no sugar. He put two fingers against the bottom of the teacup. It was hot and burned. He left his fingers there as he picked up the teacup and headed to the counter, still feeling the pain in his fingers. He sat down and took out a book with his magic and flipped to the page he left off on, occasionally sipping his tea.

He’d finished his drink in about 10 minutes but wasn’t hungry enough to eat anything. He got out of his seat, put the teacup away, and sat back down at the counter, continuing to read in the dark. After what he’d predicted to be about 40 minutes, he started losing interest in reading and sat up. He picked up the book and it disappeared in his hands as he put it away using his magic. He checked the clock, it was 5:20. His teammates would wake up in about an hour. He left to go to the training rooms.

Once he was there, he trained. After he was done with his fitness, he threw some knives and shot some arrows, working on his aim which was still perfect whether he was looking or not. He would fight with Thor later to work on his combat but, for now, he was done.

He headed to his room, walking past a few avengers on his way, giving them a nod. Everyone was awake by now. He undressed and hopped into the shower.

After he put on some clothes, he brushed his hair, then went to leave his room. He reached for his doorknob, but something stopped him. It was like he couldn’t move. He was stuck. He forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat as he began understanding what was happening. His hand started shaking. It was subtle but noticeable. He began feeling anger towards himself. Why is this happening if nothing has triggered it? He asked himself. It happened often. Sudden bursts when nothing was wrong. His breath became heavy and his whole body felt as if it would drop. He felt heavy like he was drowning. He told himself to breathe and went to his bathroom, trying to keep himself composed.

He went inside and splashed his face with some water. Slowly, he raised his head and looked at the mirror, staring daggers at his eyes in the reflection. Why was he like this? He’s always been so… different. There was no reason for it. He left the bathroom and returned to his room. He put his face in his hands and began crumbling to the floor. He backed up against a wall and wanted to cry, but couldn’t. He never cried. Not because he was tough, but because he had no tears left to cry.

He ran his hand through his hair and looked down at his arm. It was covered with his sleeve but he knew what was underneath the leather. His mutilated wrists, the victims of centuries of hate, anger, pain, regret, confusion. He rolled up his sleeve slightly and stared. This was the side of him no one knew of. He’d gone two entire days of not hurting himself, but it was too much. He summoned a small dagger with his magic and just stared. He wanted to do it, but he shouldn’t. It’s not good for me he told himself. He lowered the dagger against his skin and slashed. Pain, but the physical kind. The bearable kind. He slashed again. And again. And again. And again. He watched as his blood rolled down his arm. He moved on to the other arm. I am a monster slash, I hurt people slash, I don’t deserve to live slash, I deserve nothing slash, slash, slash, slash. He stopped. He felt better. It was fine. He put down the dagger and stayed on the floor. He looked around his room and found a place where his eyes stayed. He stared at that spot of his room.

He kept staring, thinking. He didn’t hear the knock on his door. “Brother? May I come in? I have to speak to you of an important matter.” More knocking, but Loki heard nothing. “Brother? I’m coming in.” Thor opened the door and saw Loki, sitting on the floor. A dagger inches away from him and bleeding wounds all over his arms. “Loki?” Thor asked, fear in his voice. That, Loki heard. He looked at his brother and their eyes locked. “Hello, Thor.” Loki said. “What- Are you- Loki? What happened?” Thor asked, concerned as he walked into his brother’s room and closed the door behind him. Loki began laughing. Thor didn’t find any of this humorous.

“Brother, this is no laughing matter. What happened-”

“Do you truly not know what you’ve walked in on?” Loki asked, sarcasm in his voice. Thor didn’t reply and walked closer to his brother. He grabbed his brother’s wrists and Loki didn’t protest. The wounds were clearly fresh but that wasn’t what concerned him. Loki’s wrists had many scars. There was barely any space where there weren’t scars. Some cuts looked like they were maybe a few days old and others were merely scars that looked years old. Something in his mind clicked. “How long have you been doing this to yourself?” Thor said, his voice serious. Loki grabbed his arm back and smiled. “Centuries.” He replied. “Why?” Thor questioned. “Because it helps”, Loki replied, the smile fading from his lips. It was Thor’s turn to laugh. “Help? How could this possibly help, Loki?! You’re hurting yourself!” Thor’s voice was angry yet concerned. “You don’t understand-” “Then make me understand!” Thor cut his brother off and yelled.

“You really want to know?” Loki said, smiling sarcastically. “Yes! I want to know why my brother has been hurting himself! For centuries!!” Thor replied. “Very well”, Loki said, still smiling. He stood up and rolled down his sleeves.

“Think”, Loki said. “What?” Thor replied. “Were you or were you not there when I let go and fell into the void?” Loki asked Thor. “How does this have anything to with-” “Answer the question if you want to know.” Loki cut his brother off. Thor questioned his brother’s methods but listened. “Yes, I was there when you fell into the void.” Thor finally answered his brother’s question. “And why do you think I let go?” “Because you were angry? You found out of your true parentage.” Thor answered again. “Now tell me why you hurt yourself.” Thor demanded. “Fine.” Loki answered, with poison in his voice.

“I hate myself and always have.” Loki blurted out. “I- I was always different from everyone else but never knew why. You would enjoy yourself with friends while I would watch. I tried so hard to fit in with everyone else but it never worked. People have hated me everywhere I’ve ever gone. “He’s the dark prince! D- don’t go near him! He’ll bite your head off!” Everyone always loved you but they hated me. I was the little boy living in the shadow of his big brother. The little prince with no future. Father always preferred you over me and I never knew why! I wasn’t good enough no matter what I did. I was always a failure who could never do anything right! I thought there was something wrong with me and I guess I was right. I’m a monster. I hurt people everywhere I go. I’m a murderer. I’m just a burden to you and everyone who knows me!” Loki poured his feelings. His face was no longer holding a smile and tears were welling up in his eyes. “And to answer your question, I hurt myself because it helps. It’s easier to deal with physical pain than emotional pain. Also, if I don’t do this, I lash out at others, hurt others. It’s effective.” Tears were now running down both Loki and Thor’s faces.

Thor looked shocked. “Loki… I had no idea”, Thor said. The sarcastic smile on Loki’s face reappeared. “Of course not, you never notice anything.” Loki said. He wiped his tears and fixed his hair, checking over himself in the mirror. “Very well, I’ll be on my way then.” He left the room with his perfect posture and Thor did nothing to stop him, still struck by Loki’s words.

<><><><><><>

Loki spent all day worrying about what his brother saw. He was sitting in a chair in the library and reading, or at least he was trying to. He kept on re-reading the exact same paragraph over and over again. He couldn’t focus on the words. What if Thor were to confront me about it? Or tell someone? He was dreading what may happen.

After some time of re-reading the same paragraph, he got up and left the library in search of Thor. He had to be the one to bring up the topic, not Thor. He would not let himself be cornered.

He looked around the headquarters for some time, in search of his brother. Finally, he found him in a common room with Steve Rogers. “Brother?” Loki called and cleared his throat. “May I speak with you?” He asked with a cold voice. He saw as Steve looked at Thor with concerned eyes and his brother did not hesitate to look back at the soldier, equally as concerned. “Yes, of course”, Thor said, getting up. Loki worried that Rogers may know what Thor saw but discarded the thought, not wanting to be distracted. He had to appear unbothered.

They headed to a different room with Loki leading. He walked in and Thor followed. Loki closed the door and turned the lock. “Loki, if this is about what I saw....” Thor said with a look Loki hated. “I want you to forget what you saw.” Loki demanded quickly, keeping his voice steady and his face serious. “Loki, I cannot just forget that. It was-” Thor started. “Scarring?” Loki finished his brother’s sentence with a still face. He feared his brother may reject him after all he saw. Thor lowered his head in shame.

“You know what? Never mind, this was a bad idea.” Loki turned around and began walking to the door to leave. “Brother”, Thor began. “What”, Loki growled with poison in his voice, quickly turning around. He wanted this to be done with. “Please, please just make me this one promise.” Thor said softly, as if he may break his brother. Loki’s face looked calculating, studying Thor’s expression. “Please just promise me that you will not…. That you will not hurt yourself anymore.” Thor pleaded with desperation in his voice. “And why would I do that?” Loki asked, a sarcastic tone tracing his voice. “Please just”, Thor looked down into the palms of his hands. “If you won’t do that, at least promise me that you’ll come to me if you ever feel the need to hurt yourself.” Thor slowly looked up at Loki with a face full of emotions.

“I don’t want your pity.” Loki spat at Thor and looked away. “And even if I wanted to inform you every time I felt that way, I couldn’t. Sometimes it comes in uncontrollable bursts I cannot anticipate.” Loki said with tears in his eyes. “Then, tell me afterwards? I want to help you brother.” Thor looked at his brother with pleading eyes. Loki looked up at his brother. For a moment, he looked innocent and it made Thor’s heart ache. “Fine. I will try.” Loki said, looking away. “Thank you!” Thor said, crushing his brother into a hug which Loki hesitantly returned. “I love you”, Thor whispered, hesitantly. Loki laughed, pulling away. “That’s enough emotions for today. Goodbye brother.” Loki said, hesitantly patting Thor’s shoulder. He went to walk out of the room and stopped at the door. He turned around. “Thank you brother, truely”, Loki said quietly, giving Thor a small, genuine smile. He left the room with a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest.

——————————

That’s it! This is also my first time writing angst and I hope you enjoyed it!!

#loki #marvel #thor #self harm! loki #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki friggason #thor odinson #thor son of odin #Avengers #loki fanfics #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki fanfictions #loki/thor #loki fandom #marvel fan #marvel fandom #loki (marvel) #loki (mcu) #suicide! loki #tom hiddleston #thorki #loki of asgard

[endlessly-searching-for-you]

Happier Times

During my Christmas break, I binge read Endless Summer. Just as I expected, I fell in love with my two favorite characters all over again. And since I probably had too many marshmallows last night (hey, it’s been 2020, we all deserve a treat, right?), I came up with this fic idea. It’s sickly sweet and fluffy and cheesy and everything in between. Also, probability? Never heard of her.

Be warned and enjoy :-)

Here’s to happier times: stay healthy and safe! May 2021 be everything 2020 wasn’t.

Book: Endless Summer

Pairing: Jake x MC

Warnings: none, just sweetness and fluff (get some toothpaste ready)

Word count: ~2600 (10 minutes reading time)

The house was haunted.

Well, it was either that, or Taylor was losing her mind.

Between the two, she would rather have a ghost.

It all started innocently, with a missing laundry basket. At first, Taylor thought she left it in the garden, but it wasn’t there. She searched the house from top to bottom, but it wasn’t there either. “It couldn’t just get up and walk away! Have you taken it?” She asked her husband, but Jake shrugged and turned away, murmuring something she’d rather not hear.

It was a long shot, anyway. Jake never did laundry, not unless he really had to. He’d rather scrub the floors or wash windows. If she had to guess, it was because you didn’t have to do it as often, but she chose not to complain. She wasn’t a big fan of the household chores, either.

Next was her favorite coffee cup.

Taylor bought a set of six identical cups when they moved in, but this one was special. A little chipped and faded from years of washing, and still her favorite. Every afternoon, she would sit in her spot by the window and have a coffee in it. It was her “me time,” as sacred as it was short.

Gritting her teeth, she opened the fridge to grab a snack, but to her surprise, the food was also gone. Well, most of it. It was easier to explain——she didn’t know what it was with men and food, but she already got used to the sight of empty shelves. She only hoped he had the decency to restock it.

“Do you need anything? I’m going to the store.” Jake peeked through the door as if reading her mind, and she gestured hopelessly at the fridge. “Yeah, sorry about that.” He shot her a dazzling smile and left before she had a chance to say anything.

“Wait! Have you seen...” She uttered finally, but the loud click of the front door told her it was too late. With a sigh, she plopped in her chair. Coffeeless. It certainly didn’t help brighten her mood.

“At least the weather is great,” she whispered to herself. That much was true. The rains finally stopped, leaving fresh, crisp air behind. The sun was already hanging low, but she could still see stray rays fighting their way through lush greenery, and the blue sky matched the color of her husband’s eyes.

She smiled at her thoughts. So many things have changed throughout the years, but the way Jake looked at her didn’t. The warmth she felt inside when she thought of him didn’t, either.

And if she had a say in the matter, it wasn’t going anywhere. Ever.

Speaking of going anywhere, though—they could take a break and go to the beach. Sand would probably be still damp, and ocean waters cold, but it wouldn’t matter. They had a soft spot for the beaches from the very beginning. It was time to add another happy memory to their collection. Tomorrow, she decided, checking the weather forecast.

When she climbed to the top shelf, she wasn’t even surprised her bag and blanket were no longer among the other beach items. It was just her luck today. Cursing under her breath, she slammed the door a little too hard, summoning a cloud of ancient dust sleeping on the wardrobe.

This day just kept getting better and better.

Huffing and sneezing, Taylor reached the bathroom and stared in disbelief. The laundry basket she looked for the entire morning was back where it’s always been. Adding insult to injury, it looked like it was laughing at her anguish, mocking her with hundreds of its tiny eye-shaped holes. She ignored the insolent box and turned on her heel, trying to ignore the trembling hands.

“It’s fine,” she whispered. “Nothing’s happening. I’m just tired. I need to go to bed earlier. Or maybe have a drink. Yes, that’s a good start.” Mumbling under her breath, she went back to the kitchen and opened the cabinet. Then closed it and opened it again. And again. And again.

The more she looked inside, the more the wine bottle wasn’t there.

It was the last straw.

A sudden cry startled Jake. What on Earth happened? It didn’t sound entirely human. Without hesitation, he ran to the kitchen only to see his wife, as human as she ever was, waving an angry (and a little... dusty?) fist at the furniture. He tried to retreat silently, but she turned and pointed an accusing finger at him.

“You! Do you think I’m crazy?”

“Huh?” He looked her up and down. “You mean, more than usual?” He tried to joke, but under her death glare, the words got stuck in his throat.

“I keep losing things,” Taylor sniffled. “First the laundry basket, then my favorite cup—”

He wrapped his hands around her and whispered so low she couldn’t hear him, “Good riddance.”

“—and now even the wine is gone!”

“I’m sure we’ll find it,” he tried to cheer her up. “Just maybe not right now?”

“Why not?”

“You deserve a break.” He stroked her back. “And, uh, a shower. What were you doing, anyway?”

“Don’t ask. I think the universe hates me. At least today.” 

“Well, I know exactly how to cheer you up.” Jake beamed. “I’m taking you on a date. I already asked our neighbors, they don’t mind having more kids tonight, so we’re free. You know, just you and me, like in ancient times?”

“Come on, we’re definitely not ancient!” She laughed in protest. “But you’re right, it’s been a while. Give me five minutes. Where are we going?”

“A gentleman never tells.”

***

Thirty minutes later, Taylor felt the car coming to a stop. She still had no idea where they were going—just before they left, Jake asked her to close her eyes and stop peeking, and to her own surprise, she obliged. Now that he held her hand and helped her out, she didn’t even need to open them to know. There was only one place with that smell and salty breeze.

“Just in time to watch the sunset, eh?” She turned to Jake with a smile that quickly turned into a scowl when she noticed the bag he was holding. And all the missing items sticking out of it, her favorite mug and wine bottle included. “Don’t tell me it was you.”

“I’m sorry. Please, don’t be mad.”

She shook her head. “You could have told me.”

“That would spoil the surprise,” he murmured apologetically.

“But why my mug?”

“It was on the front. My bad.”

“And the laundry basket?”

“I forgot where you put this thing,” he swung the bag.

Taylor looked at her husband, trying to keep her dignity, but the laugh she kept inside finally broke free. It started small, with shaking shoulders, but before she knew it, she lost control entirely and doubled over, grabbing on to Jake for support.

“That was... something else,” she wheezed, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Sorry. Thank you. It definitely was a surprise.”

“Mm-hmm.” He grinned and nodded at the blazing sky. “What do you think?”

“Ten out of ten. Just look at the colors,” Taylor sighed in admiration, draping the blanket over their shoulders and snuggling to his side. “Also, great company. And food” —she curiously eyed a flattened sandwich before taking a small bite— “probably not poisonous. Overall, would recommend.”

Jake looked at her with his signature half-smile, and she felt the familiar warmth spreading throughout her body. She raised her hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind his ear, then pulled him in for a kiss and nestled her head on his shoulder with a happy little sigh.

Just as she was drifting off into sleep, she heard his low voice.

“I got a letter today.”

“Oh?”

“From the court.”

“Oh.” She gasped, any remnants of drowsiness gone in an instant. A while ago—a really, really, really long while ago—they decided to try and free Jake from his charges. Their friends helped—actually, they did most of the work, from Aleister hiring lawyers to Zahra unearthing real evidence—but they never got any response. 

Not until now.

“What does it say?”

“I don’t know. I couldn’t bring myself to read it.” Jake admitted, smiling bleakly at the thick letter he fished out of his pocket. “I’m feeling like the Schrödinger’s cat right now. Both guilty and innocent until we open it. It’s funny how I couldn’t wait for it, and now I’m not even sure if I want to know.”

“Are-are you—” She stuttered, trailing a finger over the envelope. “Are you afraid you won’t be able to come home?”

“No,” he sighed. “It’s not that. The truth is, it’s not my home. Not anymore. My home is here. With you. No matter what they say, I am home.”

“Oh, Jake,” She wrapped her hands around his waist. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Princess.” He ran his fingers along her cheek and tipped her chin up for a kiss.

Taylor hesitantly pulled out of the embrace. “Well then, if you don’t read it, I will. Worst case scenario, everything stays as it is, right?”

She tore the envelope and unfolded the letter. Despite her apparent bravado, Jake could see her hands were trembling. She turned page after page, and when she finally raised her head, he couldn’t read her face. It was completely blank. Nothing, nil, nada.

“Well?” He blurted out. Deep inside, he felt his heart drop. It wasn’t right. His wife wasn’t good at hiding her emotions. She would smile, her starry eyes would twinkle with joy, she would never stare at him like that if the letter brought good news. His shoulders slumped, and he stared into the distance, blinking away tears. He could feel Taylor’s arms wrapped around him, her shaking shoulders and hot tears soaking through his shirt, but he dared not look.

It wasn’t that he didn’t know it was a possibility. Only now, when his luck took a turn for the better, he wasn’t seriously considering it.

He would get over it. He had mastered “getting over it.”

Just not now.

“Jake? Do you hear me?”

He looked at his wife, dumbfounded. Her whole face lit up. It didn’t make any sense, but she was beaming.

“You’re free,” she whispered. “You’re free.”

“What?!” He grabbed the papers from her hand and scanned line after line, not understanding half of the jargon. Still, the crucial sentence, written in bold, was not open to interpretations. All charges were dropped.

He was no longer a wanted man.

He wanted to shout, sing, dance, everything at once—but all he could do was stare at the letter.

“I can’t believe it,” he whispered. “I thought—You looked so—”

“I was shocked,” Taylor smiled apologetically. “I couldn’t believe it either. I shouldn’t be surprised, I knew you didn’t do anything, but—oh, you have no idea how happy for you I am right now!”

She jumped into Jake’s arms, throwing him off balance, and they both tumbled into the sand, giggling like a pair of teenagers.

“I just... can’t... believe... it,” he muttered, stopping to place a kiss on her lips after each word. “I was sure we lost.”

“But we won.”

“Yeah.” He helper her rise to her feet. “We should head back home, then. Pack our bags. I’ll get the plane ready, so we can start tomorrow morning.”

“So much for ‘my home is wherever you are,’” she let out an exaggerated sigh followed by a giggle.

“I mean, I don’t want to go back there forever. For a few days, a week.”

“For as long as you need.”

They stared into each others’ eyes for what felt like an eternity, even if only a few seconds passed.

“Can you pack my suit?” Jake finally broke the silence. “And a nice dress, and... you know, fancy things?” He waved his hand hopelessly, and Taylor only raised her brows in response. He whispered something into her ear, and her eyes grew wide.

“Of course! I wouldn’t miss it for the world. But I swear, Jacob Lucas McKenzie, if you keep anything, and I mean literally anything, from me ever again...!”

***

Jake fixed his tie for the millionth time. There was no point in denying it—he was nervous. And it wasn’t even his wedding.

It’s just been too long, and—

“Ah, to hell with it,” he muttered and raised his hand to knock, only the door swung open before he had a chance to do it.

“There you are!” A tall brunette in a frilly bridesmaid gown pulled him inside, clearly relieved. “You’re late.”

“Sorry,” he muttered under his breath, stealing a look at the bride, who unsuccessfully tried to tame a stray lock.

She’s all grown up now, he realized with surprise. He half-expected to see a scrawny redheaded teenager, always at odds with the world. That’s how he still remembered and imagined her—except it was well over a decade ago. The young woman he saw right now looked happy and self-assured, and, well, beautiful. He couldn’t not admit otherwise without taking a dig at his own looks, and he was rather proud of it.

“What took you so long?” The bride finally gave up on her hair and extended her arm without as much as looking at him.

“Er, it’s a long story. I don’t think we have time for that.”

Rebecca turned with a gasp of surprise. She expected her cousin, and not her prodigal older brother. Nobody expected him to show up at her wedding, not after he disappeared without a word all those years ago. To be honest, most people probably even forgot she had a brother, the black sheep of the family.

She didn't.

Jake could see all the conflicting emotions on her face. He was glad when she finally settled on a smile and flung her hands around his neck, hugging him really tight like she tried to make up for the lost years.

“This was for everything,” she said with a smile, pulling back. “And this” —Jake staggered back when she slapped him across the face—“is for everything else.”

“I guess I deserved it,” he agreed, massaging his jaw. “Don’t worry, that’s how we show love in our family. You may go!” He shooed away the flock of bridesmaids.

“It’s been a while, Becks.” He smiled softly at his sister, and she snorted in return.

“You tell me!”

“I’m sorry. Really sorry.” He squeezed her hand and stared into her face, not unlike his own. “I never meant for any of this to happen. But it did, and I’m sorry. Will you ever forgive me?”

“I already did. But tell me one thing. Is it safe for you to come here?” Rebecca beamed at his nod and looped her arm through his. “We have to talk. But please, not now. I don’t want them to think I changed my mind.”

“If you want to run, just give me a word. I have some experience, you know.”

“God, no.” She laughed. “No running today, I promise.”

As they walked down the aisle, he kept glancing at his sister and ignoring the guests’ gasps and murmurs. Her gaze was fixed on her fiancee, who in turn was grinning sheepishly at the altar. Funny, how he never took her for the marrying kind. But then nobody took him, either, and there he was.

Maybe you just needed the right person. At the right time.

Because he was sure you didn’t need the gossiping aunts, no matter what customs said.

“Thank you,” she said when they stopped. “I’m happy you’re back.”

Jake smiled at his sister and her fiancee.

“So am I. Good luck, you two.”

He resisted the urge to wave to the crowd and instead darted to where he noticed his own right person. And as he held her warm hand, for the first time ever, he finally felt all the puzzle pieces were in place.

He was, after all, a lucky man.

***

@choicesficwriterscreations :)

#endless summer #choices endless summer #jake x mc #jake x f!mc #Jake McKenzie #fanfiction #choices fanfiction #choices es #long post #fluff #choices fic writers creations #fics of the week

[allthingsfangirl101]

Apology Flowers–Zac Efron

Zac's POV

By the time we were finally finished filming, it was late. I walked back to my trailer, rolling my shoulders to try and relieve some of the tension. I plopped down onto the couch and leaned my head against the cushion.

I sighed when I heard my phone go off. I sat up and grabbed it off the table. When I turned it on, my stomach felt like I had just been punched. I had 4 missed calls, 8 unopened texts, and one voicemail from Y/N. I also had one text from my brother that made my heart bungee jump into my stomach.

Dylan 😎: Hey, man. How was your anniversary dinner with Y/N? She was pretty excited about it when I talked to her.

"Shit," I mumbled as I quickly called Y/N. I held my breath as it rang and rang and rang. I jumped up and started pacing back and forth as I waited for her to answer. When it went to voicemail, I immediately started to try and explain.

"Hey, babe. I am so so so so so sorry! We have been filming nonstop since I walked onto set this morning. I just walked into my trailer for the first time all day. I'm so sorry, Y/N. I really hope you weren't. . . Of course, you were waiting long for me. Shit. I'm so sorry. You have every right to be furious with me. And you can be angry with me and hold this over my head for as long as you want. I deserve it. I'm so sorry, Y/N. Please call me back. I love you."

I hung up the phone and aggressively threw it back onto the couch. I swore as I angrily ran my fingers through my hair. I looked at the clock on the wall to see it was almost 10:30.

Our dinner reservations were for 7. Originally, I was supposed to be done filming by 6, rush home, shower, and meet Y/N at the restaurant. I sat back down on the couch, feeling like a complete jerk.

Y/N and I have been dating for two years today. I've been late for dates, I've left the country suddenly, and I've come home at 3 am. I've done some truly crappy boyfriend things, but I have never stood her up on a date without texting her at least two hours in advance.

I couldn't help but wonder how long she was sitting at the restaurant waiting for me. I slowly grabbed my phone that had fallen onto the floor, gathering the courage to go through the missed texts and calls. My heart sank into my stomach, my guilt building as I read through her messages.

Sent as 5:30 p.m. Y/N ❤️: Hey, babe. I'm getting ready! So excited for tonight! Love you!!

Sent at 6:43 p.m. Y/N ❤️: I'm heading to the restaurant! You on your way?

Sent at 6:57 p.m. Y/N ❤️: I beat you! Lol. You close?

Missed call from Y/N ❤️ at 7:09 p.m.

Sent at 7:12 p.m. Y/N ❤️: Hey, babe. Let me know when you're on your way, okay? Love you.

Missed call from Y/N ❤️ at 7:33 p.m.

Sent at 7:46 p.m. Y/N ❤️: Hey, babe. I tried calling you twice. Everything alright?

Sent at 8:02 p.m. Y/N ❤️: Hey, babe. I hate to be that girlfriend that texts a million times, but are you okay? I haven't heard from you and it's getting late. Please text me so I know you're okay. Love you.

Missed call from Y/N ❤️ at 8:05 p.m.

Sent at 8:19 p.m. Y/N ❤️: Where are you? Is everything okay? Zac, please call me. I'm starting to get really worried...

Sent at 8:57 p.m. Y/N ❤️: Zac?

Missed call and voicemail from Y/N ❤️ at 9:12 p.m.

I pushed on the voicemail that Y/N left me, my heart sinking even lower when I heard her defeated voice.

"Hey, babe," she said, her voice cracking."I'm in my car, outside the restaurant. I've been waiting for. . ."

There was a pause as Y/N's breath got caught in her throat. I could imagine her looking at her dashboard to see how late it actually was.

"Look," she sighed, "I don't know if something came up or. . . Or maybe you forgot about tonight. . ."

All I could hear as she paused again was her taking a shaky breath. "Zac?" She said, her voice breaking. "Is everything okay? I've been calling you and texting you all night. I just. . . I hated texting you over and over like a clingy girlfriend and. . . Then it got to the point that people were staring at me and whispering. . ."

I ran my fingers through my hair when Y/N started crying. I opened my mouth to say something to her but remembered that this was a message. I officially felt like the worse boyfriend ever when the last thing I heard before Y/N hung up the phone was her crying.

I quickly grabbed my things and ran out to my car. The entire way to her apartment, I kept calling her and calling her. I parked out front and ran inside, still trying to call her. I knocked on the door, nervously bouncing on my heels.

"Oh hello, Zachary."

"Hi, Bianca," I sighed when Y/N's roommate answered the door.

Y/N and Bianca were roommates in college and they continued living together after they graduated. Bianca was a makeup artist but got a degree in business from UCLA to get her dad off her back. Y/N got her degree in Elementary Education. After they graduated, Bianca got a job on a tv show doing makeup and Y/N got a job at a school in the city.

Y/N and I met through Bianca. When I was working on The Greatest Showman, Bianca was my makeup artist. Every day, Y/N would drop Bianca off on her way to school and pick her up on her way home. I ran into Y/N probably hundreds of times, flirting with her every chance I had.

Eventually, I got the nerve up to ask her out. She said yes even though Bianca had tried to warn her to stay away from me. On our third date, Y/N confessed that after the first time she and I met, Bianca warned her that I would just break her heart. Luckily, Y/N ignored her roommate's warnings and went out with me anyway, wanting to see for herself if I would break her heart.

As Y/N and I started dating, Bianca was extremely protective of her. It seems like she has hated me with every fiber of her being since day one.

"Is Y/N here?" I asked, trying to look into her apartment. "I really need to talk to her."

"You do, do you?" She said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Do you have any idea how much of an ass you are?"

"I know," I sighed. "I am. And I want to explain everything. So, please tell her I'm here. I tried calling, but she wasn't answering her phone. . ."

"Of course she didn't answer her phone!" Bianca yelled, cutting me off. "You stood her up, Zac. And not just on a regular date. It was your two year anniversary. Or did you forget?"

"I didn't forget," I said as quickly as I could. "It's just. . . They kept wanting different angles and we kept redoing scenes. I didn't have any control over it, okay? Why am I explaining this to you? Where's Y/N?"

"I'm sorry, Zac," she said with a victorious smirk. "Y/N isn't accepting any visitors."

She was about to shut the door but stopped. "I knew it," she said, her anger coming through her voice. "I knew this would happen. I knew you would show your true colors sooner or later."

"Bianca. . ."

"I knew you would break her heart, Zac Efron."

                       * * * * *

I spent the rest of the night calling Y/N and texting her. I finally fell asleep around 3 a.m. The minute I woke up three and a half hours later, I started trying to call her again.

She continued to ignore my calls and texts throughout the day. I stopped calling her when I knew she would be teaching, but I continued to text her. I tried calling her during her lunch hour, but she still wasn't responding.

"I can't believe you forgot your two year anniversary," Dylan laughed. He came over later in the afternoon when I told him Y/N wasn't answering me. Instead of comforting me, he was giving me a hard time

"I didn't forget!" I defended myself. "We just went over."

"Over? By four hours?" Dylan scoffed. "Wait, weren't you planning on asking Y/N to move in with you?"

He started laughing when he saw the look on my face. I rolled my eyes and took another drink of my beer.

"That sucks," he said, still laughing. "Now instead of moving in with you, she's gonna dump your sorry ass."

My eyes widened and my heart jumped into my throat. "You don't think. . ."

"I was kidding," Dylan said quickly. "Y/N loves you. She would never leave because you stood her up. Didn't she tell you when you first started going out that the only reason she would break up with you is if you cheated on her?"

"Yeah," I said, trying to calm down. I ran my fingers through my hair and let out the breath I was holding. "What do I do?" I sighed. "She won't answer my calls. She's ignored every text I sent her. And Bianca is being her guard dog."

"Damn," Dylan laughed. "Bianca scares the shit out of me."

"Me too," I chuckled. "She hates me. She doesn't even pretend to like me for Y/N's sake. I bet she's trying to get Y/N to break up with me."

"She's probably already tried setting her up with someone else."

It started off as a joke, but we soon realized there was more truth in that statement than joke.

"I gotta do something," I jumped up. "And fast."

                       * * * * *

With a box of chocolates and a giant bouquet of Y/N's favorite flowers, I knocked on their door. I was a little relieved when I pulled up and Bianca's car wasn't in the driveway. I sucked in a breath when the door opened.

"Zac," Y/N said under her breath. My heart sank when I saw her red eyes, tear-stained cheeks, messy hair, and baggy clothes.

"Hey," I said, my guilt making it so I couldn't talk. We stood there, her in the doorway and me on the porch, neither one of us saying anything. When Y/N opened her mouth to say something, I gently cut her off.

"I am so sorry, Y/N. I never meant to stand you up last night. Things got so crazy and we went way over. I know that isn't an excuse and I'm not using it as one. I just. . . I messed up. I messed up big! And you can be mad at me forever. I mean it. Hold it over my head for the rest of my life. I deserve it. I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you, Y/N. And I'm really sorry."

I held my breath, waiting for her response. Her arms were wrapped around herself as she studied me. I felt my stomach flutter when she slowly smiled.

"What are those?" She asked, gesturing towards the flowers and chocolate.

"These," I smiled, "are for you. They're an apology gift for me being an asshole."

She stepped onto the porch and took them from me. As she smelled the flowers, she looked up at me through her eyelashes. I gasped when she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me down for a kiss. I instantly kissed her back, wrapping my arms tightly around her waist.

When we broke the kiss, I leaned my forehead against hers. I rubbed our noses together as the guilt still ate at me.

"I'm really sorry, Y/N," I whispered. I leaned back and looked down at her with my arms still wrapped around her waist. "And I promise I will never stand you up again."

"I forgive you," she smiled up at me. I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers, smiling as she kissed me back.

I broke the kiss and looked down at her. I reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, my hand lingering on her cheek.

"There was something I was going to ask you last night," I said, gathering my courage.

"Really?" Y/N asked, slightly tilting her head.

"Yep," I said popping the P. "And there was a present that went along with it."

"Is that so?" Y/N teased. She giggled when I nodded. "Well then, we should go inside."

She grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. I leaned against the kitchen counter as Y/N got a vase for her flowers. After she put them on the table, we walked into the other room.

We sat on the couch, Y/N instantly turning towards me. I smiled and leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. When I pulled away, I reached into my pocket. She looked at me strangely as I grabbed a key to my place and held it out for her.

"Here."

"What's this?" She asked, taking it from me.

"It's a key to my apartment," I explained. I took a deep breath before finally saying, "Y/N, last night I was going to ask you to move in with me."

"Wait, really?" She asked, her eyes wide as they looked up from the key in her hands.

"Yeah," I chuckled nervously. "That was supposed to be my big two-year anniversary romantic gesture."

Y/N grabbed my face and pressed her lips to mine. I smiled as our lips started moving in sync. The kiss was short and simple, but there was so much love behind it.

"I love you," she whispered when she broke the kiss, still holding my face. "And I would love to move in with you."

I smiled, pulling her back into my chest as I laid us down. Our lips moved in sync as I hovered over her. I pulled away and started kissing her neck. She giggled as I found her sweet spot.

"Bianca's gonna be pissed," she said breathlessly.

"I'd rather not talk about her," I said, nibbling on her ear.

"Okay," Y/N sighed as I switched to her other side. After spending a little more attention to her sweet spot, I finally pulled away and looked into her eyes.

"I love you so much, Y/N," I whispered. "And I can't believe I stood you up last night."

"Zac," she sighed, reaching up and playing with my shirt. "You have apologized over and over. I've listened to the voicemails and read the texts that you sent. I'm sorry I didn't respond. I was angry and Bianca said. . ."

I cut her off, pressing my lips back to hers. She giggled against my lips and instantly started kissing me back. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me closer to her.

I broke the kiss, smiling down at her. She laughed as I sat up, pulling her with me. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her into my side.

Y/N turned on Netflix and we spent the next little while eating chocolates and binge-watching a show. We sat like that, just holding each other and not saying anything. When her front door opened, Y/N looked up at me.

"Oh boy," I whispered. "She's here."

"Easy there, big guy," Y/N teased as she laughed and playfully hit my chest.

"Oh, great," Bianca groaned. "You're back together."

"We were never broken up, B." Y/N said, glancing at me before turning to face her.

"Nice to see you too, Bianca." My comment made Y/N laugh that she quickly covered up by clearing her throat. She sent me a soft glare for Bianca's sake.

"Yeah yeah yeah," Bianca mumbled as she walked to her room, ignoring my comment completely. Y/N and I looked at each other, holding in our laughter until she closed her door.

"Will she ever like you?" Y/N giggled as she leaned back into my chest.

"Nope," I sighed. "She's mad that I took you from her."

"That's probably true," she chuckled. I bit my lip as I thought about the last twenty-four hours and sighed.

"You okay?" She asked as I subconsciously tightened my arm around her.

"I still can't believe I stood you up," I said under my breath.

"Zac," she sighed, sitting up and turning towards me. "You didn't do it on purpose, babe. I know that. And I shouldn't have ignored you. I was upset and needed time to blow off steam. But I shouldn't have ignored you. I should've let you explain what happened that night."

"It's okay," I said as we both chuckled. I smiled as I reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm really sorry, Y/N."

Y/N leaned up and pressed her lips to mine. Before it could get heated, she pulled away.

"I love you, Zac," she whispered.

"I love you too, Y/N."

I pressed a short kiss to her lips and cupped her face in my hand as I pulled away.

"Happy anniversary, baby."

#zac #efron #zac efron #zac efron imagines #zac efron x reader

[endydancer1]

We used to be strangers | Part 6

Pairing: Tom Holland x Y/N Lincoln

Summary: Tom has just finished his latest movie and his heading back home to London. While he is passing the high building, suddenly something happens what changes his life completely. What is the shadow up there?

WARNING: Mentions of injuries, blood, depression, thinking of suicide.

..................................................................................

"Tom, get the fuck out of the bathroom! You are having a shower for almost an hour! There are 3 other boys living in this house if you haven't noticed yet!" Haz was forcefully knocking on the bathroom door. He had been standing there for good 20 minutes. Tom had went to the shower at 10 am and it was almost 11! Finally the lock clicked and the door opened showing naked Tom  wearing only a towel around his waist.

TOM'S POV:

"Holy Odin, thank you. What did take you so long?! Don't tell me you were actually showering 60 minutes!" Haz looked at me a bit annoyed.

"I was. I am sorry. I needed to shave and clean myself properly." I glanced innocently at him.

"Oh so you had to shave. Why?  Are you going on a date? You normally don't spend that much time in a shower even if you are shaving. So what's up?"

"No, I don't have a date. I just.. Want to look nice, you know? I am coming to hospital to see Y/N."

"Oh, I see now. So you are finally falling for someone new. And while she is in hospital she can't run away from you when you would want to play with her, right?" Haz teased.

I just rolled my eyes and pushed him out of my way.

"Yeah, that's my dark plan. But it's a secret, don't tell anyone or I will be forced to play with you too." I smirked and walked into my room.

"You need someone to play with you already cuz you are unbearable." I heard Haz laughing before I closed the door behind me.

"Well, what should I wear?" I was standing on one place for good 3 minutes directly looking into my closet. - What am I doing? I have never been thinking that much about what should I wear on the regular day. I don't even shower that long. Was it really an hour?- I looked at my phone. - It was! Oh God. I wasn't that nervous and didn't care that much about my look even when I went on a first date with Anna. And another thing is I don't even have a date today! It's just.. Casual visit of someone I saved, right?- I just sighed and took step closer to my closet.

"Hmm, what about this? Jeans with denin jacket. It's a bit casual, but hey, I won't spoil anything with that." I dried my hair, dressed myself and walked out of my room. There was no one except me and Haz in the house.

"Harrison? Are you ready? Can we go?" I shouted waiting in front of his room.

"I am waiting for you in the living room you div!"

"Sorry! I thought you were still in your room!" I came down to living room.

"Well not everyone is as slow as you." He stood up and took his car keys. "Let's go!"

After lunch we went to the shopping centre, because I needed to buy something for Y/N.

"Uhm, Haz? What should I buy for Y/N? I promised her to watch movies with her, but I don't know which she would want to watch."

"Well, you probably should have asked her."

"You are not helping mate!"

"I am sorry, I am sorry, I am just messing with you,haha. Well, from what you have already said about her, she doesn't know you are an actor. So probably you can show her one of your movies."

"I don't think it would be a good idea. I don't want to look like a selfish prick. And.. What if she is that kind of girl who would want me only because of my money and fame?" I glanced at my feets and played with my fingers nervously.

"Tom, I understand, but you said she sent you a heart emoji and it's a good sign!" Haz poked my arm gently and a laugh a bit.

"Yeah, but she probably saw my Instagram profile and she probably knows I am famous by now."

"Well..it's also possible, but maybe she doesn't know yet. You know what then? Take one or two Marvel movies. Iron Man or Thor, or Avengers, to see if she like these kind of movies, take some romantic comedies, you know, because girls like them, right? Take your favourite movie and maybe.. Oh yeah, try any of your movies where you were young. If she notices it, you know? The Impossible or In the heart of the sea? "

" That can actually works. Thank you Haz, what would I do without you." I smiled at him. "And we should borrow it from movie rental, because I doubt they have Netflix in the hospital." I chuckled. We borrowed 5 movies.

"Mate look at this hoodie! I need it! Haz, I need it!"

"Oh God Tom, you have tons of Spiderman hoodies! You really don't need another one..."

"But look at it!"

"It's just saying Mr. Stark I don't feel so good! Tom, this meme is over."

"Well not for me. I am gettin' it and you can't do anything about it!"

"God, fine! Buy it, but hurry up if you want me to take you to hospital." Haz rolled his eyes and waited for me outside the shop.

"I've got it! Yay!" I rushed out of the shop full of joy from my new purchase.

"You are such a kid Tom, you know? How old are? 5?" He laughed at me. "Let's go. You should buy some snacks."

"Why? I am the snack, she can eat me" I joked.

"Or you can eat her, huh?"

"Harrison! But yeah.. Maybe I will!"

"One day.." Haz sticked his tongue out.

We teased each other the whole ride to the hospital. Harrison told me to call him when I wanted him to pick me up. We said our goodbye and I went into the building.

"Good afternoon Mrs. Brown. How are you? I know I am here a bit early, but I here to visit Y/N." I smiled at young lady at the reception. Her face had already dropped while I spoke. Sad smile appeared on her face.

"I am sorry, Mr. Holland. You should go home and rather forget about her."

"W-what? Why? What happened? Is she okay?"

"I shouldn't be telling you this, but she probably won't survive much longer."

"What? You have to be joking? I was talking to her yesterday. She was fine. What happened? If it has something to with that Melendez guy I am sorry. But ple, don't joke about her dying, I.."

"I am not joking, Mr. Holland. I would have never joked about such a thing. She is my best friend. And she is dying. So please,don't make it even harder for me."

"C-can I.. Can I at least see her? One last time?"

"I am sorry, you can't. She is on fluid resuscitation right now."

I could feel my eyes started watering. I felt familiar anxiety and my heart almost stopped working. My palms started sweating, I felt dizzy. I had to sit down for a moment.

"Do you need water, Mr. Holland?"

I wasn't able to speak. My voice was caught deep in my throat. My eyes were blankly staring at the wall in front of me. I didn't even notice when she left to grab me some water.

"Here, drink it." She handed me cup of water and crunched in front of me. "Listen, I know how you feel. Y/N is amazing person, you don't know her for a long time, but I am sure you could see that. She doesn't deserve to die like this and this soon, but it's what it is. We have to deal with it. She wouldn't want you to cry over her death. She would want you to continue your life with joy. Let's honour every moment we could spend with her and if the worst comes, we should let her die in peace. " She gently rubbed the back of my hand. I looked at her with puffy red eyes.

" I don't want her to die. " I said with raspy voice.

" I know. Me neither, but she was diagnosed with severe damages to her body, her condition is really miserable and there is only a small chance of her to survive this even with the best doctors and facilities."

I growled and put my head into my hands. I didn't even try to keep my sobbs quiet. Mrs. Brown hugged me tightly.

" Psst. It will be okay. I feel the same. You are not alone. But you should go home now. Spend some time with your family and friends. It's okay to cry, but don't let it affect you in other ways. Do you have someone to pick you up?"

"What's her diagnose? What happened? Can you at least tell me so I know when she.. When she dies what causes it?"

"She suffers a septic shock. It's severe condition when 50% of patients dies, because of multiple organs failure."

"But.. She was okay yesterday. How could it happened?"

"Septic shock is caused by sepsis which does not respond the treatment.  Your blood pressure drops to a dangerously low level after sepsis."

"Oh my God." I gulped and felt dizzy again. My skin was pale.

"Mr. Holland, look at me. Do you have someone to take you home? Can you give me your phone so I can call you someone?"

I can't remember properly how I managed to unlock my phone and handed it to her. Her voice was muffled and my head hurt. I didn't know how much time passed, but suddenly Harrison appeared in front of me.

" Hey, mate. I am here, I am here. Can you stand up? I am taking you home." He helped me to stand up and led me in the car. He managed to sat me on the front seat.

"Wait for me I need to speak to the nurse. Can you do that?"

I nodded absently. He walked back to the nurse I was talking to, Mrs. Brown. She explained what happened and what he should do with me. After a minute or two, Haz took me home. I cant tell you how long the ride was, because only thing I could think about was Y/N. She was dying. Dying and I couldn't help her. I only spoke to her for a few hours, but I had already felt the bond between us. I couldn't lose her. I didn't want to be sad, broken. Not again. Not after Anna. I prayed in my head. I prayed so hard. - Please God, I have already lost the love of my life. Please, I don't want to see another person die. I have just started to have feelings for another woman, after years of being alone and crying over my sweet angel, I found another one, or at least I think I found. And you want to take her from me too? -

"Tom, Tom, please look at me. Don't cry mate, I know it's hard. I am here. Please look at me." Haz was looking at me, obviously worried. Somehow he managed to lay me down on my bed.

"Tom, do you need something? A water or something to eat?" he sat next to me on bed. I stayed quiet, not really listening what he was saying. He just sighed.

"I will give you some space. You should sleep a bit. I will be downstairs if you need something." He stood up and walked to the door.

"Stay.. Please.. I need you."

A/N: Let me know what you think about this story so far. Sorry for my English, it's not my first language and I am new with this. So I would be happy and thankful about the feedback. Have a nice day! 😊

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland spiderman #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tomhollandfans #hollanders #haz osterfield #harrison osterfield #holland family #marvel #spiderman far from home #spiderman homecoming #spiderman #imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #tom holland x y/n #we used to be strangers

[sunfloweradore]

i’m leaving this blog

hi! this post is a bit long but at the end you’ll find prompts and requests that you are free to use if you’re a writing blog :).

hi there!! if you’re reading this, i hope you’re doing well and staying safe. i just wanted to say that i’m leaving this blog and i’m not sure if i’ll ever come back. the years i’ve spent being a harrie have been great and it’s been a crazy amount of time! pretty much since the x factor! however, for a long time it’s also felt like i’ve been forcing myself to be a fan of harry’s. i’ve put so much energy into being a fan of his that it hasn’t been fun for me in a while and neither has writing fanfiction, which is what this blog is mainly for. it’s felt very difficult to sit down and write a fantasy about somebody who i might not even like anymore and in hindsight it seems a little dumb, but i did stress over writing all the time. this isn’t really about anybody i’ve interacted with on tumblr because you’re all lovely but sometimes it feels as though harries don’t treat him like he’s a human being and instead like he’s a god. me, included. even though i know we joke about harry being the only man we’d let degrade us or destroy our lives or whatever, he is still a person at the end of the day! it took me a very long time to realize that and thinking of him as otherworldly or completely perfect was my way of thinking for a while and i think it was pretty damaging. the fact that so many people would literally die for him is sad because unfortunately, none of us are going to be on his “level”, so to speak. we don’t know him personally and chances are we aren’t ever going to. ahhhh please don’t be mad at me for saying this, it’s just something i’ve realized i need to change about myself and i think it’s something we should all consider about everyone we are fans of. 

anyway, the time and energy i’ve spent on something so ridiculous is exponential and i really feel like it’s time to put it in the past. i’m dedicating this year to self-growth and part of that is learning how to be my own person. feeling like i have to be interested in something or someone in order to be normal has been a common theme in my life and harry has been that someone for as long as i can remember. this isn’t his fault of course but i’m getting older and i don’t want to think of this time in my life as the era that i was obsessed with harry styles. instead, i want to form memories and real life experiences instead of using fanfiction as a way to cope with all of the things that i can’t handle in my life. it worked for a while but at this point i’ve been reading it and writing it for so long that it feels like i’m living inside my head, like i’ve become dependent on it (obviously this is very bad lolol). so, long story short, i will be leaving this blog because it just isn’t good for me anymore. thank you to everyone who has requested things for me to write and anyone who has interacted with my writing. sorry i couldn’t get through them :(. i’d also like to thank everyone i met through this blog because you’re all such amazing people and you deserve the world. i will leave my writing up but the sentiment still applies- i’ve worked very hard on everything i’ve written so please don’t repost any of it without crediting me, thank you.

below are requests i couldn’t get to and prompts(?)/works that i never got to finish. feel free to use them if you want and tag me in them bc i’d love to see how you write them :)

1. paperboy harry!

i think the direction i wanted this to go in was kind of like a 40′s au? or just a long long time ago. not sure why i had this started seeing as i already have harry as a paperboy in a story of mine but go off ig

2. vampire harry!

i had a specific plot i wanted where harry was in a car wreck because of a vampire who ended up biting him in like an alleyway. reader saves him and is a vampire herself! she nurses him back to health n teaches him how to be a vamp with various shenanigans along the way

3. hospital au?

this one i’m not too sure about but if you’ve seen the red band society you’d sort of know the direction i was going with this. there’s kind of an in-between for people in the hospital who are fighting death or going into surgery and in that in-between is a boy who has been in a coma for a long time. i pictured this as being angsty and for harry to be the boy who guides people in certain directions but he ends up falling for the reader while she’s there

4. ghost au!

self explanatory but i pictured harry as the ghost who kind of just wants a friend lol

5. tea au?

this would probably be pretty short, i just thought it was cute! reader has different kinds of tea all the time and it’s a surprise each time he kisses her 

6. strawberry farm au?

reader has a strawberry farm LMAO maybe harry buys them from her or it’s another vampire au, who knows!

7. threesome

most likely has been done b4 but a threesome w 2 guys and the reader where the guy is inside harry while he is inside the reader

8. chocolate by the 1975

a fic based on that song! it would probably be from harry’s pov 

9. space au?

hmm i think i probably saw something that inspired this but all it says is “harry sends letters to space” so i’m assuming it’s an au where he just decided to send letters to space out of boredom or something and mayhaps alien reader finds one?

10. assassin au!

harry is an assassin and in my draft it’s super vague? and almost seems like he’s stalking the reader? it could go in any direction really but i’m assuming the reader is dating him and doesn’t know he’s an assassin

11. chapstick

very similar to the tea one! just w the reader wearing diff chapsticks all the time

12. shower

this is inspired by something i read on wattpad a long time ago and i’ve tried finding it but i think it might’ve been deleted. the reader flicks da bean all the time in the shower and is really loud about it, harry is distracted and confronts her

13. dang ANOTHER threesome

but this time harry is on a date with a girl and they’re at a bar- the girl is looking around, sees the reader and thinks she’s gorg and they end up having a threesome

14. photography au!

harry is a photographer who somehow ends up taking pictures of the reader. in my draft the reader asks him to delete the ones that are ugly but he keeps them all hehe

15. scrapbook au

similar to the last one, harry takes pictures of the reader a lot but it’s not bc he’s a photographer, he just thinks she’s pretty n wants to scrapbook. twist is that he has TWO scrapbooks- one of innocent pics and one that’s lustier (consensual ofc)

16. habits of my heart by jaymes young

self explanatory, angsty

17. roommate au?

this is for some reason also an assassin au? but they’re roommates and reader doesn’t know what he does. they’re bffs, mutual pining

18. don’t forget about me by clove

wow another song fic, big surprise

19. puppyy

harry gets a puppy who hates him :( but the puppy loves the reader!

20. mall au

lol this one is kind of dumb idk why i thought of it but harry is one of those kiosk people at the mall who sells perfume! dunno!

21. condoms

reader works at gas station, harry buys huge condoms

22. poetry

either person reads erotic poetry while touching the other

23. magic au

one of them makes a love potion, kind of dark? like making the other fall in love with them idk it could be an accident though

24. private chef

the reader is a private chef! that’s all i’ve got!

25. message board

this is inspired by..... the sims lmaooo you can pin messages to the message board in your apartment building and i thought it’d be cute if the reader and harry lived in the same building and he leaves notes on the board and she doesn’t know they’re for her! she always thinks they’re cute though

26. raisin theory

inspired by new girl! specifically a comment i saw in like a compilation? video of new girl on yt

i thought it’d be cute for harry to be that person

#tbh i haven't been reading ff either so if any of these have been done already i didn't know #anywhooo ily #hopefully this year will be good for everybody #harry styles imagines #harry styles writing #and of course the reader doesn't have to be female or in 3rd person #but yeah idk how many people are even gonna see this but my masterlist isn't linked anymore #if you search for masterlist on my blog it will come up #okay bye!!

[yoongisabby]

Reaction- You’re a fashion designer and need a live model to try on the outfit

Warning: none just pure FLUFF 🥺

A/N: thank you @literallycantchooseabias for this suggestion! I’m sorry it took forever I kept editing it and it’s not my best but I hope you enjoy it! I have three more to write and I’m also updating my au’s but request are open!! So please send them in! 💗

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You got the chance of the lifetime! You were asked to be apart of a big fashion show in Paris, they asked you if you could create an outfit for the show, you were nervous but excited. You had the outfit ready but wanted a model to try it on. You decided to call your boyfriend to your office so he can try it on...

Seokjin:

“Of course I’ll try it on Jagi! Not only am I worldwide handsome I’m also a model sometimes.” Jin said smugly “I just need to make sure it’s going to look okay and surprisingly the model has the same measurements as you” you told him grabbing his hand and leading him towards the room. You pushed him in and handed him the outfit. 5 minutes you knock on the door “Jin are you done?” He replies “yes I’ve been done for the past 2 minutes.” You made a confused face “then come out...?” Jin opened the door and looked at you in amazement “Jagi, YOURE SO TALENTED!” He grabbed your hips and kissed you “I’m asking big hit to hire you as bangtans personal stylist! MY GIRLFRIEND IS AMAZING!” You giggles and wrapped your arms around his waist “thank you for being my biggest supporter baby.” You smiles looking up at him, he softly wrapped his hands around your waist. “Always, you’re really talented y/n, your outfit is going to the steal the show.” He bent down to kiss your forehead and pulled away “Now if you excuse me I’m going to send pictures to the boys and show them how talented MY girlfriend is!” You shook your head and giggles yelling after him, “PLEASE DONT MESS IT UP!”

Yoongi:

“Pleaseeee Yoongi, all I need is for you to wear if for 5 seconds while I adjust a few things! And then I’ll leave you alone.” You begged the grumpy man “No, you’ve been locked away for weeks! I want cuddles and attention!” Yoongi pouted crossing his arms over his chest, “Funny how the tables have switched” you giggles and raised a brow at him, he rolled his eyes and let out a sigh “I’ll be your model if you promise after the adjustments you’ll spend time with me.” He looked at you seriously, you smiled at him and nodded “I promise, now please go put on that suit I made!” You asked again and he walked towards your office. Yoongi walks out 2 minutes later and immediately stands on the platform you set up and attaches his arms out “You look good in my clothing yoong!” You say checking him out and sending him a wink “Only because you made it.” He said blushing a bit, you began to fix a few parts and adjust what you felt needed. After 30 minutes you were finally done “Okay you can take it off and then meet me in the bedroom. How do you feel about have take out tonight?” You asked while putting away your things, “Sounds amazing, I can’t wait to finally have my girlfriend back tonight.” He went and put the suit back up neatly on the rack and like met you in the room for a long night of cuddling and watching movies.

Hoseok:

“WAHHH Y/N! YOU HAVE MAGIC FINGERS!” Hobi said as he was standing on the little crate you had in your studio looking at his reflection in the mirror. “I’m pretty decent at what I do huh?” You replied smiling while making a few alterations to the hem of the sleeves. “Decent?! You’re amazing jagi, and I’m not just saying that. I mean it.” He looked down at you softly, if anyone saw they would think he was looking at the universe. But he was, you’re his universe and he can’t imagine his life without you in it. You blushed at his complement and tried to focus on what you’re doing as you felt his gaze on you. “You mean it Hobi?” You stopped and looked up to meet his eyes, he stepped down and wrapped his arms softly around your waste and pulled you close “I one hundred percent mean it, you’re talented and not only am i going to know that but the whole world is! Your outfit is going to steal the show and I’m going to be proud to know that everyone is amazed by my girlfriends creation just like I am.” He spoke softly to you, there was passion in the way he was speaking about you and your hard work. He meant every word he said and he was going to make sure you knew how proud he is of you. “Thank you Hobi, I don’t know what I would do without you here. I don’t care what other people think of my work, I only care about what you think! Your opinion means the world to me.” You looked up at him with so much love in the world, he smiled down at you and kissed you softly. “I love you y/n y/l/n” “I love you so much Hobi.”

(don’t touch me I’m sobbing!)

Namjoon:

“Joonie! Can you please come here for a minute?” You called to your boyfriend, you needed him to try on the suit you made to see if you need to make any alterations to it or not. “Yes baby doll, you needed me?” He came into your shared bedroom walking behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist,placing a kiss to the top of your head. You melted into his embrace wishing you could stay like this forever but sadly you needed him to try on the outfit. “Could you please try on this suit I made? I just need to see if there’s any alterations that need to be made before i can say it’s complete.” You asked turning around in his arms and leaning in to press a soft kiss to his plush lips, he gladly kissed you back and hummed “Sure baby, this suit looks amazing! I might need you to make me one for MAMA this year.” He said smiling letting you go so he could put it on. “Thank you darling, I would be honored to make you a suit for the award show.” You giggles waiting for him to be done getting dressed, once he was done he stood if front of you posing, sending you into a fit of laughter “Whoah there buddy, wouldn’t want the girls swooning over you more than they do already!” You joked positioning him the way you needed him. “They can swoon all they want, I only got eyes for you sweetheart.” He gave you his signature dimples smile and you could help yourself but kiss him again, “Okay joonie, I’m going to need you to stop distracting me so I can hurry and we can go cuddle.” He perked up at the thought of cuddling you and enjoying each other’s embrace “Yes ma’am!” He replied stay as still as he possibly could, you smiled and began working on the suit.

Jimin:

Jimin is the one who offers to be your model so you can make alterations easily, luckily for you the actual model was jimins height and had the same measurements as him. “Thank you Jimin for offering to help me.” You said sweetly working on the collar of the jacket “No problem jagi! I loving helping you and I love seeing how amazing your work comes out! And plus I get to spend more time with you.” He blushed shyly looking away, Jimin is always flirting with you but he gets so shy when he gets super affectionate. You smiled trying to hurry through the alters so you can shower your baby with love and affection. You worked as fast as you could and eventually finished the whole suit, you sighed happily and took a step back to get a better view, “I think this is my best work yet! And it’s all thanks to my lovely model.” You smiled at him and he gave you his cute eye smile coving his face with his hand, “ahhh stop jagi, you’re making me blush!” He laughed and grabbed your hand pulling you towards him, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “It really is thanks to you chim, you didn’t have to stand here for as long as you did just to help me.” You wrapped your arms around him and held him close, “I know I didn’t have too but I wanted too, I love being with you and I love seeing how passionate you are when you’re doing you love. You look so cute when you’re focused! I had to hold myself back from cooing and trying to kiss your cute face!” He gushed at you cupping you’re face in his hands, you smiled up at him “Well you don’t have to hold back anymore.” You told him and he laughed holding you face in his hands, he leaned down and began prepping kisses all over your face while you giggled and enjoyed it.

Taehyung:

“Hey jagi, what are you up too?” Taehyung called you, you were in the middle of making alterations to an outfit that needed to be ready before tomorrow night so you were in a hurry to finish, “hi baby, I’m kinda busy at the moment do you think I can call you back when I’m done?” You asked him feeling bad cause you wanted to talk to him but you really needed to finish this suit. “Why are you so busy?” There was a pause before he spoke again “OH! The fashion show tomorrow! That’s why you’re so busy! How’s the outfit coming along?” He asked “I think alright, I’m trying to make a few alterations but it’s kinda hard since I don’t have a model wearing it.” You said sighing frustratedly while working on the pant legs for the fifth time, there was a long pause as you continued working forgetting that Taehyung was on the phone with you. “Can I come over?” He suddenly asked “I can help you! I could wear the outfit so you can make the alterations!” You stopped and hesitantly asked “Are you sure? You don’t have too. I don’t want to be a burden on you Tae.” You told him feeling bad for putting your problems on him. “I don’t mind at all, I want to help you so you won’t be stressed. Please let me help you y/n.” He softly begged you, knowing you’ll keep telling him no if he didn’t beg you. “Okay you can help. Thank you so much tae, I’m so grateful for you. I don’t deserve you sometimes.” He let out a tsk “y/n I love you to the moon and beyond. It makes me so happy knowing I can help you when you need it. If anyone deserves me it’s definitely you. Now I’ll be there in 10 minutes and I expect a big hug and kiss as soon as you open the door, okay princess?” He said and you let out a giggle nodding to yourself “okay my prince, I’ll be waiting. And thank you again.” You told him “you’re welcome princess. See you soon.”

Jungkook:

“Jagi are you almost done? My feet hurt” Jungkook pouted as you made one last alteration to the suit he was modeling for you “Yes baby I’m almost done, I just have to finish this and the you’re free to go.” You giggled at your big baby. He pouted the rest of time counting the minutes down until you were done “I know I offered to help and I like helping you, but I didn’t realize how long I would actually be standing for..” he spoke looking at you “Hey it’s not that bad, look I’m done!” You moved away from him and he let out a sigh of relief, he turned around and looked in the mirror that was behind him and smiled “y/n you know you always seem to amaze me everytime you do something. But right now I’m blown away! This looks amazing!” He smiled turing his body back and forth to get a good look all around. “Thank you kookie, that means a lot to me coming from you.” You sincerely told him wrapping your arms around his waste giving him a back hug, pressing a small kiss against his back. He turned in your arms and smiled down at you wrapping his own arms around you “why are you so cute jagi?!” He gushed squeezing you tightly and pressing kisses to the top of your head. You giggled and pulled away from him slightly to look up at him “You know I love you right kook?” He looked down at you “of course, and you know I love you right y/n?” He asked back, you smile and nodded “I love you so much kookie.” “I love you so much more y/n.” He leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to your lips, he gently pulled away and hugged you close “Now let’s me change out of this suit and let’s order take out and watch a movie.” He told you and you smiled “sounds good to me, I’ll order the food and be waiting for you in the living room.” You told him slowly walking away “be out soon baby.”

#bts reactions #bts fake texts #bts scenarios #jimin #bts x reader #jungkook #bts #namjoon #taehyung #hoseok #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #bts rm #bts jin #bts suga #bts jhope #bts jimin #bts v #bts jungkook #bts demon smut #bts hybrid smut #bts smut reactions #bts soulmate reactions #bts fluff