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#It took me a HOT MINUTE to draw these dudes out!
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Carpe Noctem 2
Warnings: dark elements, noncon, age gap, other dark elements. Proceed with caution. (short!reader)
Note: thank you for waiting! Please let me know what you think as it helps me a lot with ideas and I love interacting with you all.
Part of The Club AU
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You sit against the arm, one leg hooked over the other as the silent third mirrors you, nursing a gin as you set aside your flat soda. You really just want this to be over. Looking at the twins, neither of them have got very far into their cocktails. This isn’t just going to be an in and out deal. In fact, you’re more than certain they’ve duped you again.
Your best efforts as usual add up to nothing. You’re stuck there, the designated driver, the third wheel, the ugly one, beside a huffy brat ogling the dollish twins from afar. Well, you guess you’ll just have to wait this out.
You take out your phone and pull up your last message from Johnny. The usual; asking if you want him to save some slices for you. You hope it’s not too late to say yes. You reply and lean your phone against your leg as you once more peek over at the girls. They can flirt but you’re all going home together. That’s the agreement. Besides, these dudes are shady.
You check your phone. It’s close to midnight. He’s probably gaming or passed out on the couch. You kind of envy that thought.
“What’s wrong? Too good for me, sweet cheeks?” The voice draws you away from the screen and you hit the lock button.
“No, I’m good,” you assure him, “enjoying the music.”
“Ha, right,” he empties his glass, “you want a drink?” He looks pointedly at your forgotten soda, “a real drink. Might loosen you up.”
“No, I’m good.”
“Ah, geez, you think you’re a real catch. Well, whoever you’re texting doesn’t seem to agree.”
He stands up and strides away. You frown and put your phone back in your purse. Typical loser. You’ve dealt with the kind before. You’ve been in this same position too many times. The twins don’t really learn lessons. Mostly, because you’re there to keep them from any hard ones.
Whatever. Johnny’s at home waiting. That much you know. That guy doesn’t matter. Besides, he’s a bit old to be preying on the regulars here. It’s a bit ridiculous, pathetic if you’re cruel.
He sits back down and slurps loudly. You try to ignore him but can’t as he stretches an arm across the sofa, his hand close to your shoulder. He wiggles on the cushion, as if trying to bother you. You acknowledge him with a terse look.
“Lloyd,” he introduces himself with a wink.
“Wow, it only took you one drink to settle for me,” you tut and roll your eyes, “dude, don’t even. I get it. Let’s just both count our losses.”
“Hey, you got me all wrong. I get shy with the cute ones,” he pokes his tongue out, “aw, come on, let’s have a bit of fun.”
“I have a boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend? The one ignoring your texts?”
“He’s not– it’s none of your business.”
“Oh, don’t be so uptight. I can play nice. I can be a shoulder to cry on… a lap to sit on.”
You nod and give him a sardonic smirk, “does that usually work?”
“Well, I’ve slept with a lot of married women and I’ve never walked down the aisle,” he boasts.”
“Okay, so you’re scum.”
“Wow, that hurts,” he retracts his hand and touches his chest, “you’re missing out. I would put that extra cushion to good use. With how tight your wound, I can tell the boyfriend isn’t doing much with it.”
“Alright, thank you for your commentary,” you shift and turn so he’s only a blur in your peripheral.
“It’s not an insult, baby, it’s an offer. And it stands… much like something else.”
You shudder in disgust and flick your fingers in his direction. You’ll give the twins thirty more minutes.
🎀
“We should go. I wanna dance,” you say to Selena, “it’s girls’ night. Not girls and some dudes.”
“Alright, I get it,” she leans in, almost condescending and slightly drunk, “but he’s fucking loaded. And so hot. Like girl, there are boys down there, these are men.”
“Right, and I’m sat with the creeper with a broom growing under his nose.”
“Look, if you wanna just go, go.”
“And leave you with a bunch of strange men.”
“I don’t think you need to stick around because I don’t plan on leaving with you.”
“Come on, Selena, you know I can’t just leave you.”
“Well, I’m telling you to.”
“Please–”
“Enough. You’re not my mother.”
“No, but I’m your friend,” you insist.
“I’ll make my own mistakes,” she shrugs, “so, tell that dude to get a life and go home to yours.”
You stare at her. She gets like this and it’s no arguing. You always found that twins always acted like the stereotypical only child. They got their way and would settle for nothing less. She struts off and you look over at Sabrina. Great, she liplocked with the other one.
You go back to the sofa to get your bag. You’re frustrated. You won’t be able to sleep with the pit dipping in your stomach. You’ll be up all night until you get the text telling you they’re okay.
As you stop at the end of the couch, Lloyd stumbles, almost into you, before falling and flopping onto the cushions. His drink splashes over his shirt as he pats the spot beside him.
“Why don’t you sit down?” He invites you in a slur. You can tell by his eyes that he’s bombed.
“No thanks,” you grab your purse but he catches the strap, “hey–”
“Oh,” he reaches to set down his now empty glass, the mess glistening all over his satin shirt and his chest bared beneath it, “let me clear the throne.”
He wipes his mustache with his finger and you cringe. You tug on the strap but he doesn’t let go. He giggles and his head lolls as he does. It’s almost pitiful watching him. Out of his mind and almost helpless to his own vices.
Great. The twins are going to owe you.
You drop your bag and go to the bar. You grab a few of the cloth napkins folded neatly on it and return the man as he grumbles. You wipe off the stray droplets on the couch and sit, focusing on cleaning him up. You can’t just leave him soaked with gin, can you?
“Mmmm, lower,” he purrs as you wipe along his chest.
You say nothing and try to dry off the open collar of his shirt. You feel a tickle along your side and it crawls down to your hip. You stop him, tossing his hand away from you.
“Look, I’m just getting you tidied up, then I’m leaving.”
“Can I come with you?” He snickers.
“Please, no,” you retort.
He pouts and lets his head fall back again. “We’ll see.”
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h-harleybaby · 1 year
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i had this idea where cartman confesses out of horniness,, do you think you could add onto my idea/elaborate? everything seems so much greater in your writing <3
OH?
I’M GONNA TRY I HOPE YOU LIKE IT
It took me like, 30 minutes to write this
Also I was about to draw my oc in a mock top but I looked at tumblr so like
IM GLAD I DID TBH IT SAVES ME FROM WANTING TO CRY BECAUSE IT DOESNT LOOK RIGHT
NSFW CONTENT
Cartman confessing out of horniness hcs
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• Tbh Cartman probably had a crush on you for a long time but he didn't have the balls to do much besides horribly flirt with you. It's fine tho, you always thought it was sweet
• BUT GOD DAMN YOU MADE HIM HORNY LIKE S H I T
• You would always hug him extra tight and your boobs would always press against him! Or bend over in front of him and the all too familiar feeling of his pants getting a little tight would come back
• At first Cartman would refuse to jerk off to the thought of you, even if you gave him all those boners. It's degrading! Yeah no that didn't last very long he caved sooooo easily
• He was jerking off to the thought of you when he got home one time and didn't notice how the time flew by. He got a call from you at like, 7 pm and that's when he stopped... when he started at 3
• Yeah and then once y'all were done it was IMMEDIATELY BACK TO JERKING OFF- bro needs help at this point like damn. How horny does his man gotta be to be horny over your voice??? To be fair, you were also sending him pictures of you in skimpy clothes and asking for outfit advice. He felt kinda creepy about it but like, that faded pretty quickly
• The worst part about all of this? You always acted like you didn't know what you were doing and it made him so frustrated. Like how could you not know??
• What's funny is that you actually did know! You're just a really good actor, but not good enough he saw through you eventually. What can I say, the attention was nice
• Dude was getting so desperate he started acting differently, it started to concern his friends at some point. They all started calling him pussy whipped, which honestly didn't make sense but they didn't care
• Yeah but anyways, he started doing a lot more gestures to try to show you how much he cared about you and stuff. Usually Cartman's a lot more smart about this but it felt like he was losing braincells the more he thought about you, which was like, ALL THE TIME
• But you're still not getting the hint! Who knows how the fuck you're not but you ain't
• In a moment of pure desperation he flat out tells you, well he probably didn't mean to. He was trying to make a joke about how you're hot and that backfired so, so badly
• Cartman started getting flustered and started rambling. The gist of his rambling was that you're really fucking hot, he's really horny, and he's had a crush on you for the longest time
• It was really funny, and he's about one step away from begging on his knees for ANYTHING
• Just touching your boobs or your thighs, a handjob? Hell even a kiss, ANYTHING YOU'RE WILLING TO GIVE HIM HE'LL TAKE
• In fact he DID start begging, thank fucking god that it was at his house when he was home alone or he would've died
• Honestly, you don't know how he talked you into him thigh fucking you but he did. He's a smooth talker and knows how to manipulate people, it's actually not too hard to believe that he could do it
• AND GOD IT FELT GOOD
• Cartman felt like he was in heaven tbh, and he cummed embarrassingly quick because he was so desperate. He then proceeded to think about how good your pussy would feel and got another boner
• Yeah he's a smidge pent up and horny, but thats fine! You end up helping him out, whether it's eventually or that day and he's fine with that
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m-arkmywords · 1 year
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cos i met you at my favourite store: Prologue
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pairing: mark x fem!reader
genre: a full story fic, lots of disgusting, tooth rotting, fluff! college au, mark is a music major not suitable for minors
Prologue
16:24 pm | A book store
"Visual Methodologies... Visual Metho.. Visu..." You lowly chanted to yourself in the Fine Art section, as you searched for a book on visual methodologies. With deadlines approaching, you needed to get this essay done before the Christmas break. You slipped your beanie off in frustration and stood there for a second, taking in a deep breath and recollecting your thoughts. You have always been an over thinker, a natural worrier. This fuelled a lot of your hardships but it made your focus really good. Which meant, you would never leave the store without this book, because that was your mission today.
Your eyes continued scanning the shelves in front of you as you sipped your iced caramel macchiato. Yes. Even in the winter, you refused to drink hot coffee. Something about coffee being cold that does the job for you, as opposed to hot. "Oh SHIT!" You exclaimed, a little too loud, gaining some eyes on you. It was right there. Big red book, staring right at you. You took a breath of relief, as you went on your tippy toes, trying to grab it. Unable to reach, you felt a little embarrassed as your cheeks started to feel warm.
Although, everyone went back to minding their own business. You felt a pair of eyes still on you from the side. You noticed a boy trying to hold back his smirk as he cleared his throat, bringing his closed fist to his mouth. 'He's laughing at me.' You think to yourself, before shooting him a death stare.
"Uh do you need some help?" He asked turning to you as he rubbed the back of his neck, shyly. You can't help but get distracted from the mission by his big brown eyes.
"Yeah, actually, if that's okay.." You stepped aside to let him get between you and the shelf, reaching for the big red book.
"Is this the one you after?" He gestured to pick it up for your approval and you gave him a nod.
"Thank you so much, honestly. That's one thing off my list." You gave him a smile and took the book from his hands. You thought you must be going crazy or maybe it was caffeine. But you swore, as your hands touched, ever so lightly, you felt something in your stomach. You bit down on your bottom lip to keep you from smiling and looked to the floor, now visibly shy.
"So.. visual art huh?" He made conversation. Moving back to his original spot. "Yeah, I'm an art major.. I'm paying the school to draw" You joked, deflecting your insecurities about the path you have chosen.
"No dude that's great, I'm doing music, so I guess we're in the same boat." You both laughed until the laughter died down. Leaving only the silence, and the thick air of attraction between you both. The boy smiled, slowly swinging backwards and forwards on his heels and toes. You eagerly looked at him, waiting for him to ask for your name, number or something!
"Hey so I-" Before he could finish his sentence, your phone rang.
"Nessie! I'm outside, we have 5 minutes to make it to this evening class. LETS GO!" Your best friend, Aliyah on the line rushed you as she waited outside.
"Oh shit, I.. I've got to go..sorry.. urm.. thank you so much. so nice to meet you" You quickly paid for your book and ran out the store, leaving the boy speechless, with a wave.
Fuck what was that?
_________________________________________
Chapter 1
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nikutsuneart · 2 years
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I've been admiring your art, while consistently struggling myself to keep Sora and Riku's faces consistent...whether that's bc of emotion or angle or how soft their features are, I'm not sure. You'd think that after 2 decades of looking at these characters I could draw them properly.
Can I ask what facial features you think makes them distinct?
*RUBS MY HANDS TOGETHER* This is the best question you could have asked me and I am frankly STOKED to answer it (even if it took me a hot minute). It's something I've personally made notes of and have thought about a lot, SO! You came to the right dude.
For starters, it helps that Sora and Riku were made to be complementary. Riku was specifically designed counterbalance to Sora (as stated by Nomura in the KH1 Ultimania Gallery comments) and is something they’ve continued to lean into over the years. So thankfully it’s really easy to single their features out when compared to each other, specifically.
To boot, I have a lot of fun trying to boil down designs into an easily recognizable visual language just in general. Developing visual shorthand for a character, boiling them down to their bare essentials, etc. How low can we go? It’s a fun exercise and great for strengthening silhouettes!
And from what I’ve found, to put it simply; Sora is Round. Riku is Angular. Where Sora is short, Riku is Long! Like this;
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Simple, right? You can tell which is which? Just zhuzh it up a little and you’ve got the boys!
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Perfect.
While these are very simple examples, reducing them down and still being able to readily tell who is who even as little circles is the point! It let’s you know what to focus on as you shift from little caricatures to more detailed drawings at any level. And you’ll see how much these simple little rules/identifiers carry all the way thru!
Let’s start with their faces; Round vs Angular.
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Soft vs Sharp.  
Sora’s cheeks are more prominent and rounded, sloping lower on the face and pinching in to a smaller round, pointed chin. It makes his head look more round and short! His Jaw is also softer, less defined, which is an easy way to make somebody look youthful. (this is a tip I learned from tf2 actually?? lmao) He’s got a bit of that baby face!
With Riku, his cheek bones peak higher up and cut in cleanly down to a more prominent chin. This leaves a lot of space for his jaw which can make his head seem taller. It also affords his features more space which can serve to make someone look “more mature”. His jawline is also sharper and more defined, cutting inward compared to sora’s outwards slope. He’s just a handsome guy!
But it doesn’t stop there!
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When it comes to their noses, I really like to lean in to the little things.
With Sora, I like to accentuate the upturn (hence the accent lines) but his nose is shorter and more rounded with a prominent tip pointing up and out. Some might call this a pixie nose
Riku’s is broad and straight (haha) and one of my favorite features of his. It’s a strong shnoz, longer than Sora’s and with a flat bridge. A detail of which I’ve always really liked and make sure to include. Gives it that strong handsome look.
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I’m sure you’re getting the idea, but every feature follows these rules! Short and Long! Round and Sharp!
The eyebrows are something I feel always go missed, so I wanted to bring them up specifically. Riku’s eyebrows are longer and have a high arch to them as they wrap around his brow. Sora’s are short and much thicker towards the bridge before quickly tapering out.
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You can see this along with their eyeshape a lot more clearly on their models. (Sora’s eyebrows are my favorite i love em I think they’re just the cutest thing. Really adds to his expressions, especially his pouts.)
What’s fun is that these are all things I’ve observed in official material in one way or another (namely Nomura’s art, the 3d models tend to round things out more.) Once you know what to look for, it’s easy to spot their consistent features. I’ve grabbed some fun examples;
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Sora: upturned nose, round cheeks pinched in to a pointed chin, rounded jaw
Riku: Harder jaw, prominent chin, straight nose
You can see here how the curve of riku’s jaw goes in towards the face as sora’s goes out.
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Riku: The Nose even more clearly, chin pointing out, and though mostly covered, you can see that strong jaw.
Sora: the same as above, really, but it’s consistent. Who says you can’t draw characters facing slightly to the left for a living.
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You’re starting to see a pattern I’m sure.
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And here you can see the flat bridge on riku’s straight ass nose! A flat of which Sora doesn’t have by comparison. You can also see here the different points their cheeks turn in, Sora’s being notably lower than Riku’s.
Anyway, you get my point!
For a generalized ending statement; Riku is always drawn with harder, yet graceful masculine features. He’s both very handsome and beautiful, wow. Package deal. Sora has a more boyish cheekiness. He’s got a baby face he’ll probably never outgrow along with other “cute” features. His can be a harder balance to strike, he’s cute but he’s also a dashing young man, a little charmer!
Focus in on those details n just remember compared to each other; Round vs Angular Short vs Long Soft vs Sharp They’re complimentary opposites, both in concept AND design! I love it!
I hope this was sufficient, kind anon. Good luck to everyone and I hope to see more strong Riku noses in the future.
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floralhuqzz · 3 months
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What is love about? (Johnnie Guilbert x fem reader)
*. ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚
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warnings: none
summary: y/n always drinks coffee in the mornings in a cafeteria near where she lives, when she spots a guy who caughts her attention
english is not my first language so i apologize if theres any misspelled words, etc🖤🦇
⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆
i woke up by the sound of my alarm. I grunted as i took my phone and adjusted my eyes to the brightness of my phone as i turn off my alarm. It was currently 8 am so that meant that i had to go to work in a few hours… i sat down and scrolled through my phone a bit. I got up from bed and put on my slippers as i yawn and stretch,, i open my closet and start looking for a good outfit,, i work at hot topic so you can imagine how my work clothes looked like. I finally picked an outfit and did my makeup and brushed my teeth before picking my bag and going outside.
your outfit:
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Since i worked at a shopping center i always went to Starbucks for coffee. I ordered a cappuccino as i sat down sipping on my coffee as i pulled out my sketchbook and my pencil case. i checked the time and i still had 1 hour until my shift starts. i didn’t know what to draw so i started to look around trying to get an inspiration when i layed my eyes on a black haired beautiful guy.. he had an amazing style and makeup..i must say he is really god damn hot… (i <3 emo guys ).
he suddenly makes eye contact with me and i look away. i look back at him and he kept looking at me over and over again “maybe it’s because he likes my outfit” i thought to myself. he sat down two tables away from me as he scrolled through his phone as he took a sip of his coffee.. ill to draw him. i couldn’t keep my eyes away from him..
i started drawing him.. trying to draw as many details as i can,, after 30 min he finished his coffee and wanted to leave but i took my opportunity and approached him..
“hi..” i smiled a little, i was so fucking nervous
“oh hi” he smiles as he puts his phone in his pocket as he spoke
“umm i hope doesn’t sounds weird but.. i drew you” i said a little embarrassed as i gave him the drawing
“holy fuck! you did this in 30 minutes?!” he takes my drawing and smiles
“yeah i can draw pretty fast,, i like your style” i smiled still a little nervous
“i love this, thank you so much…i like your outfit and makeup and..pretty much everything” he smiles as he looks at me up and down.
“thank you” i blush as i smile
“i dont wanna sound like a stalker but.. ive noticed you are here pretty often”
i look a bit confused but i chuckle a bit
“yeah i work at hot topic”
“youre kidding?! i fucking love that store” he smiles
“i can tell” we both laugh
i check the time on my phone, i had 3 minutes until my shift starts
“fuck i have to go to work, im running late” i take my stuff
“hey can i get yo-“ i interrupt him
“its in the back of the paper” i smile as i start running to the store
he checks the back of the drawing and sees the instagram username,, he smiles and sets on walking home.
johnnie’s pov:
i start walking home as i kept thinking about that girl at the cafe,, i get home as i sat down in the sofa and start looking at the drawing again for the millionth time.
“whats that?” jake says
“nothing” i put the drawing in my pocket
“was that a drawing?” he smiles
“no..”
“come on johnnie we are best buddies…im like your ketchup to your fries, you are the dick to my balls-“
“jake thats fucking gross” i sigh “a girl g-“
“A GIRL?” he took both of my shoulders “okay dude...YOU TALKED TO A GIRL?” he smiled “THIS IS A MOMENT OF HISTORY”
i laugh “ok can you let me finish?”
“okok”
“so i went to Starbucks today and i spotted this girl..and then she gave me this” i take the drawing from my pocket and show it to jake
“DUDE SHE WANTS YOU.”
i blush
“what?- jake we just met”
“and?” he crossed his arms
“and i dont think…thats the case,,maybe she just wants to be my friend”
“you are so fucking blind” he turns the paper and sees the instagram username “SEARCH THE USERNAME NOW”
“okok calm the fuck down” i take my phone and open instagram “found it”
“GIVE ME THE PHONE” he takes my phone and starts looking at her posts “oh she is hot.”
“JAKE”
“dude you better get with her or i will”
“omfg you are a prick” i take the phone and start looking at her pictures as i..blush?
“DUDE YOU ARE BLUSHING, YOU ARE INTO HER”
“OH SHUT UP”
time skip when y/n finishes work and gets home
y/ns pov:
i check my phone and i see a notification of a new follower on instagram.
“johnnie guilbert..” i thought to myself
i check his instagram,, he was really pretty…its like everything about him was perfect. i blush as i kepts stalking his instagram and i receive a new message
“hiii im johnnie (the guy from the cafe) :)”
“omg hi!”
“how are you? how was work?”
“im good, work was pretty boring ngl,, hru! ”
“im good im good, brushing my teeth rn”
“its 5 pm…”
“so?”
“who brushes their teeth at 5pm? hahaha”
“i do 🤓” he sents me a picture
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"you are a weirdo"
"you are a weirdo for not brushing your teeth"
"NO ONE BRUSHES THEIR TEETH AT 5 PM"
"ok geez fine ahhsha"
"ive gotta go ill text you later :)"
"aww ok, bye bye <;3"
"bye<;3"
i placed my phone next to me as i layed in my room as i thought about johnnie for a while.. i think i have a bit of a crush on him.
time skip to 8pm*
I went to the kitchen and started to make myself some dinner as i was going through my phone as i saw a story from johnnie
"LIVE NOW"
"This could be fun", i thought to myself as i joined his twitch stream
johnnies pov:
"hey how is everyone doing??" i started reading my chat
"why do i look so happy??" i read someone comment "well today i met this...girl..." i smiled as i saw chat going crazy "yeah yeah.. so i met this girl today and she was like...everything i ever dreamed about like... chat im begin dead serious..and she gave me a drawing!" i take the drawing that was laying on my table and showed to the camera "isnt it perfect? look at the details" i point out every single detail "it looks like a photo" i read "yeah it does!"
i kept reading the chat for a while
"is she beautiful?" i read "yes she fucking is" i smile
a notification of a donation popped on my screen.
"you are so cute stop it haha <3 -from the cafe girl"
when i saw that message i literally wanted the ground to swallow me whole.. i didnt know what to say so i froze.. i completely forgot that i posted a link to my stream in my instagram stories...i was so fucking stupid-
"just kill me already.." i put my hands on my face blushing from embarrasment
i see a notification from my phone and i see that it was from y/n.. i see that she sent me a picture of her laptop from where she was watching my stream "someone is blushingggg"
"oh shut upp"
"i will if you ask me on a date"
"tomorrow 4pm at my house, what do u say???"
"ill be there ;)"
i look at my computer to read the chat "HE IS BLUSHING SM" "SO CUTE" "WE NEED TO FIND THIS GIRL!"
"oh sush chat" i laugh
....to be continued
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SHOULD I CONTINUE THIS??
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fatyaoi · 8 months
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your art has literally changed my perception of my body, like it made me realize its hot as fuck to be fat. anyway may i request how you imagine postal 1 dude if he took care of himself and gained some weight from it
um . i spent like a full week trying to figure out how i wanted to respond to this because it is genuinely i think the most touching thing a stranger has ever said to me. i couldn't quite say what i wanted to so i'm just going to say what i can. putting it under the cut cause its a little long and wordy but um. i don’t think you had any idea this would be the case but your message was so so profound and special to me. i am wishing you so well sincerely with my whole heart and i am so grateful to hear that and to be a part of whatever journey you are on. please continue being loving toward your wonderful body and i hope you enjoy the dude <333333
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i’ve literally spent my entire life capital f Fat. i can’t think of a time i wasn’t the literal fattest person in any given room. the only way i was personally able to heal from a lifetime of mistreatment was through kink. i have always been deeply and exclusively attracted to fat men, and drawn to other fat people in general- but my own relationship with my body was impossible to fully mend without rediscovering myself through the eroticism of fat. even in my worst moments of self doubt, there is no hatred and i would not change this aspect of my body for anything.
the objective fact is that the fat body is a beautiful, desirable, sensual, and natural state of being. in fact i think it’s one of the best things you can be :^) just about everything i do is dedicated to the love of, and healing through the love of fat. its the reason i draw what i draw. i mean yes its insanely hot when a guy gets too fat for his button up but my experience of pain and heartbreak and euphoria and Love goes into Everything i do. so the idea that the minuscule amount of time i have really been vocal or open has done anyone any sort of good like. i am literally so grateful. i am overwhelmed and so happy and so grateful.
um that was a lot but its been like. swirling around in my head for a hot minute now. again, i think this is probably the most touching thing a stranger has ever said to me. anon im assuming youll see this at least i’m praying you will, but i am sending you so so so much love i’m literally squeezing my eyes shut and focusing so hard on blasting you with big pink hearts ok? please know you are so right and so hot always. showing yourself the love and kindness you deserve is one of the hardest things you can do and i am So proud of you. i am rooting for you. in fact i am rooting for everyone who might be reading this. please know in your hardest most painful moments that i am rooting for you and that i believe in you.
any remember everypony-
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maybank-archives · 1 year
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revenge - jj maybank
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⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ warning: sexual content ahead. +18 - minors DNI, oral sex. kook!reader. kinda dom!jj!. language. unprotected sex.
word count: 1.9k
author's notes: this was kinda inspired by 'The First of November' by @thecameronchronicles ! Hope you guys enjoy this "long" format.
masterlist
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Lately y/n and I are in an intense situation, either we're arguing about something stupid or we're having amazing sex. We´re not an official couple but I can guarantee that neither of us has an interest in sleeping with someone else, we're good at not putting a label on our situation, we know each other for a long time and yet I still can't understand her attitudes, especially when she acts like a kook.
First of all, she decide to throw a last-minute Halloween party for people that don't give a shit about her, and then if it's not enough that I'm surrounded by those idiots kooks, I kinda started a fight with one of those dudes over a fucking beer I was trying to get. Y/n got annoyed and didn't talk to me since, next thing I know, I'm in John B's pull-out couch and I can't stop thinking about her.
I admit I was a little bit stupid, but in my defense, I was already high so I thought she would understand but all I got, was a "why don't you just chill" and some pissed looks we exchanged throughout the party.
Both of us can be extremely stubborn and maybe that's the reason I didn't apologize to that dick, just didn't feel like it. But now that the effects of the weed are getting out of my system, I'm the one who feels like a dick.
It was all a bit blurry but I remember the looks and those smirks she gave while dancing and I specifically remember how hot she looked in that costume.
She was wearing a short black wig and a long sleeve white shirt which was kinda see through so I was able to peek at something black underneath, the way the outfit fit her body should be illegal because depending on the movement I could see her shirt lifting up and exposing her ass in that very short skirt.
She had a fake cigarette wrapped on her red lips while posing for pictures, I didn't knew what she was until Pope explain to me that she has a character called Mia Wallace from this movie called Pulp Fiction, honestly never heard of it but I know that if I wasn't mad, I would be probably taking her somewhere else to smudge a little bit more those red lips and drown myself into those tits.
I couldn't avoid thinking that I wasn't the only one looking at her, I could feel my face getting hot just imagining things she was doing after I left. I tucked my hands under my pillow and decided to call it a night, it was too late and there was nothing for me to do except curse at myself.
I woke the next day kinda disoriented, I rolled out of the pull-out and went straight to the bathroom, as soon as I opened the door and step out John B glances at me with a smirk on his lips.
"Morning, have you already got a chance to check your snapchat today big boy?"
I squinted my eyes and went looking for my phone on the couch
"No, why?" I said sitting
"Oh, I think you're going to enjoy it...or not." John B said tapping my shoulder and walking out of the house.
I scanned the screen and saw y/n's username in a 'recent posts' tab I assumed that this is what John B was referring to, I clicked on her name, and a black and white picture popped up on my screen, I just couldn't believe my eyes, I stared at the screen until the picture disappeared. I went for a second click and this time I took a screenshot cause I knew that would last longer.
It was a picture of y/n from last night in her costume blowing smoke out of her mouth, while her shirt was completely unbuttoned revealing a black lace bra and drawing attention to her amazing tits, she had a weed blunt in between her fingers and with the other hand she lifting up her skirt revealing more her thighs.
I could feel my mouth salivate, it's been 5 minutes and I'm still here holding my phone close to my eyes studying every inch of her body, my jaw was clenched and starting to hurt. I can't believe this girl, she knew exactly what she was doing and it worked, my shorts started to feel tight and suddenly I was hot and desperate for her taste.
Fuck it.
My fingers typed quickly her name searching for our conversation "hope you're happy, on my way." I typed and didn't wait for a response. It didn't take me long to arrive at her house I rang the bell twice and as soon as she opened it I lock my eyes on hers. She still had last night's makeup on her face and now instead of her original costume, she was wearing just an oversized shirt, no pants, just a shirt, she's trying really hard to have my dick inside of her.
y/n pov
"Can I help you?" I asked leaning my shoulder against the doorframe
"Oh, I'm sure you can, there's someone else in here?" JJ asked entering the house analyzing the room, I shook my head
"No, I'm by myself til next wee-" I was interrupted by JJ picking me up on his shoulders and slamming the door behind us. He takes the stars and finds my bedroom, a place that he's already familiar with, he moves close to my bed and throws me making me chuckle at his attitude.
"JJ what you're doing?" I asked adjusting myself in the bed, he didn't take his eyes off mine, so I tilt my head and bit my lips my eyes narrowed to his, I knew exactly what he was doing, it felt good knowing that I was the one who made him like that and it only took me a picture and posting it for the right person to tell him.
"I think you know what I'm doing princess, you cause this and now you're going to beg for it." he hissed and moved close to me "I'm pretty sure that you know what I'm' doing because I bet that if I ripped these panties off you'll be soaked." I sat in bed and scoff at his comment, but yes, in fact, he was very right as soon I saw him I felt my body beg for his touch.
"Right? Because I guess teasing must feel good doesn't it? But guess what, you don't get to show off for everyone what's mine, you understand that?" I nodded again. God I could cum right now just listening to his voice.
"Use your words baby girl" he said caressing my face and placing his thumb close to my lips
"Yes JJ." I replied
"Good". He said getting on top of me and slipping his tongue into my mouth, he took my shirt out and tossed it to the side, before returning to my lips he gripped my wrist above my head and traced kisses into my skin, he lowered himself to my neck and twirls his tongue into my nipples, he sucked me desperately, a quiet moan escaped my mouth as my body slowly reacted to him grinding on me.
He runs his fingers on my body and slides my panties to the side pressing my clit, he kept moving his fingers stimulating my sex, he kept changing his pace making me ache for more.
"JJ, please..."- I said under my breath as he fasten his pace again
"Oh, where's that little attitude of yours?"- he asked pushing two fingers into me slowly and locking eyes with me, he lowered himself and planted wet kisses on my thighs making my back arch, he kept pumping his fingers inside me, quiet whimpers left my mouth as his tongue touched my folds and I felt like I was going to explode any minute, my walls clenched around his fingers I felt the heat building up, my legs were starting to shake and as soon as he notices he looked up at me stared at me and smirk sliding his fingers off my pussy.
"You didn't think I was going to make this easy for you, did you cupcake?" he asked getting up and putting his fingers close to my lips "you don't get to cum until I let you, now open this pretty little mouth of yours and taste yourself." he said waiting for my response, I do as I was told and suck my juice off his fingers, he rolls his eyes and bites his lips watching me.
"Fuck, look how vulnerable you are with your legs spread wide open to me, sucking my fingers and enjoying it, I'm pretty sure you're gonna think twice before putting on a show again right?" he said holding my chin up. "and I'm also pretty sure that you'll look even hotter with your lips around my cock".- he said getting up and striping down.
I sit at the edge of the mattress, JJ was standing so I had his hard cock in my face already, I held him firmly, my fist wrapped around him I stoke him gently, I didn't take my eyes off him as I slowly lick the tip of his dick "Fuck" he moaned under his breath, I took him inch by inch while I gently held his balls, I took him further and bobbed my head repeatedly he groaned with pleasure and pushed his hips towards me making his cock hit the back of my throat.
He held my hair, pushing my head faster I sucked him hard and fastened my pace moaning against his twitching cock until I pull away for air, he held his cock close to my face and brushes the tip on my lips which were already covered in saliva and his liquid "Bend over" he demanded, I adjust myself in the bed I was on fours and with my back arched for him, a loud slap hit my ass as I moved my hips around "You're fucking beautiful, look at this pussy dripping wet" he says aligning my entrance to his cock and slowly sinking into me, I shut my eyes tight and arched my back "Jesus y/n you're so fucking tight" he murmured as his stokes were deep and intense.
The feeling of his dick inside me was turning into a needy feeling for more, he kept his hand gripped on your hips this whole time, and with his free hand, he reached to your heat and start to massage my clit. "Gosh, J...I'm so close, please" I sobbed, the familiar feeling of your release was close he kept pressing his finger into your folds and hitting the perfect spot inside me. Both of us were getting out of breath "Go ahead and cum on my dick". he whispers out of breath, as my legs started to feel weak.
"Yes, oh my god, yes JJ".- I moaned for the last time, I was now with my hands and face pressed into the mattress, I squeezed the sheets when I felt his thrusts become hard and slow, both of us gasped releasing our cum into each other. He slides his dick out of me as he watches him spilling himself inside you. You turn around and lie on your back when he crashed next to you.
"Jealousy seems to be a great motivator for you"- I say trying to gain my
"Keep up with the attitude and you'll see me fucking the kook out of you".- he says picking me up and placing me on top of him
"Admit it. I make things fun Maybank." I said adjusting myself into his lap.
"I think I was too nice and wasn't able to get show you that I don't enjoy being teased did I?"
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© maybank-archives 2023 — no one has permission to copy or translate any of my works, if you see any of my work being reproduced in another platform please contact me! :)
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purrgilpawkins · 5 months
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Bubbles + Marshmallows
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Summary: Mac takes a bubble bath.
Pairings: Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver
Part of the Comfortember 2020 series Prompt: Hot Cocoa
Warnings: n/a
AO3 Link in Replies
Mac slowly eased himself into the warm water, the scented soap suds making him feel all the more relaxed. Being covered head to toe in painful bruises that left him feeling more sore than he’d ever had in his life, he’d almost felt a little overwhelmed. But thanks to Jack’s quick thinking, instead of adding sight to the list of Mac’s busy senses, the delta left the lights off and lit multiple unscented candles scattered around the bathroom.
They’d been on three missions in a row, no break in between. Mac had slept through the entire ten hour flight back to the Phoenix. The combination of the uncomfortable jet couch plus the adrenaline crash left Mac beyond sore upon waking up. He’d hoped the limp wasn’t all that obvious but at Jack’s “insistence” (he wasn’t taking no for an answer) that he drove Mac home, he knew he’d been caught.
Mac laid in the tub feeling the water soothe his aching body. Just as he started to doze a little, Jack knocked on the door and walked in with a cup of hot chocolate he’d promised with the bath.
“You feelin’ any better, hoss?”
Mac accepted the mug from Jack and immediately took a sip.
“I am now. Thanks,”
Jack moved to the floor and sat up against the tub, propping his elbow on the edge and resting his head on his fist. “You know,” he started, “that hot cocoa is one of my mama’s recipes.” Mac took another sip of his cocoa and set the mug down on the tub.
“Really? Since when is pouring chocolate powder in hot milk a recipe?”
Jack put his other hand on his chest in mock offense. “Dude, I melted that chocolate myself. Steamed it, not throwing it in the microwave or whatever. The hell you think I was doing for the past fifteen minutes?”
“Oh,” was all Mac said in response. He must’ve dozed off longer than he’d thought. Was he really that exhausted? Despite the realization that he was, in fact, that exhausted, he let Jack continue on with his recipe talk.
“Yeah, man. I sprinkled a little cinnamon in, some extra sugar. Crushed up some peppermint and a few of the chocolate pieces I didn’t melt. Was gonna put those on top of some whipped cream but you didn’t have any so I just threw ‘em in as is and--”
“All this and you didn’t put in any marshmallows?”
“Aw damn. Knew I forgot something. Hang on.” Jack was on his feet in a second and, almost slipping, made his way out the door to the kitchen. Mac relaxed back against the tub and no sooner did Jack rush back in. “Okay, so you had regular, peppermint, and jumbo but I wasn’t sure which one you wanted so I brought all three.” He laid the bags on the side of the tub and Mac reached for the jumbos.
“So,” Mac popped a marshmallow in his mouth as Jack sat down against the tub again, “what’s with all the excess hovering. I mean, you usually hover after I get hurt on a mission but never to the degree where you draw me a bath.”
Jack reached up to scratch at the scruff on his face. “Well I was thinkin’--” he pointed a finger at Mac to shut him up after seeing the smirk on his face, “--was thinkin’ about how you never seem to take care of yourself, and I’m not just talkin’ about treating wounds or sleeping or, god forbid, eating something every once in a while,” Jack gives him a pointed look and Mac looked in another direction. “No, I mean like, enjoying the little things, y’know? When was the last time you had a bubble bath, huh? Don’t act like you ain’t lovin’ the hell out of it.”
Mac’s only response is a one-shouldered shrug as a grin slowly grew on his face.
“Uh huh. Look, man, you’re constantly doin’ things. You just need to relax every once in a while.”
“Not sure I’d be able to shut my brain off long enough to do that.”
“I know something that’ll knock you out real quick, if need be,” Jack raised his hand in a fist and tapped it with his other. Mac laughed.
“Thanks, Jack. I’ll be sure to remember that you beating me up is always an option.”
The two spent the next several minutes conversing until the bath water started to get cold; Mac didn’t want to acknowledge it so he could spend more time in the comforting presence of his partner but Jack decided to call it quits when the younger man started to shiver. Mac reluctantly agreed and made to push himself out of the tub. His body being black and blue coupled with his exhaustion made for a failed attempt.
“Hey, Jack?”
“Yeah, man?”
“Can you help me out?” Mac’s face tinged pink. Sure, they’d seen each other naked before (they don’t like to talk about it much, obviously) but that didn’t make it any less awkward.
“Oh, sure.” Jack, a man with no shame whatsoever, seemed oblivious to Mac’s discomfort and put his arms underneath the younger man’s armpits and pulled him up to full height. He then helped him out of the tub and onto the toilet seat, snagging a nearby towel on the way. Mac started drying his hair while Jack was going around the room extinguishing the candles.
Once Mac was dry, Jack helped him to his bed and laid out some clothes. “You need help with these or…?”
“No, no. I can do it.”
Mac got dressed and lowered himself into his bed, fatigue making itself very known. Jack came over a second later to straighten out the bedsheets and ran his fingers through the blond’s hair. Seeing that Mac has been thoroughly relaxed and was on his way to dreamland, Jack made his way to the door with the intent of crashing on the couch before Mac called out quietly, “Hey, Jack?”
“Yeah, kid?”
“Stay?”
Jack sighed fondly and made his way over to the unoccupied side of Mac’s bed before laying down. “Is this what you wanted?” At Mac snuggling into his side and laying his head on Jack’s shoulder, he had his answer.
“Jack?”
“Hmm?”
“Thanks.”
Jack smiled, “Anytime, Mac.”
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splendidsneb · 9 months
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Greetings my dudes.
I know it's been a hot minute since I've updated this, but this time it was a combination of not being in the mood to draw anything, and then when I finally WAS in the mood, finding out that BHVR changed the filenames and more importantly, the cut off zone of time files themselves. This resulted in me having to rename and recrop all my icons, which, while annoying and time consuming, wasn't difficult.
That is, until the mystery pixels started appearing.
For some god forsaken reason beyond my ability to understand, despite using the same template for ALL the icon cropping, some icons would have white pixel lines around the outside of the image, while others would not, then some icons WOULD have the white pixel lines, but only on the store page, or while the character select page was being scrolled.
I really don't know what the fuck was causing it, and after hours of testing, troubleshooting with other modders and recropping things, I still don't. The only way I could get them to all look passable was to individually crop every single 'problem' icon as they popped up. (some of the icons are still looking more crusty than I would like due to this weird mystery issue and the combination of the icons now being on black BG, so any stray pixel that was unnoticeable before is now out there for all to see, so I may redraw them all down the road with a different pen to hopefully avoid this problem) This added hours of work for me, fucking around with 70+ icons individually, and that was before I even drew the new characters.
And as an added bonus to keep me from finishing these icons earlier, my Mum's house flooded due to the extreme rain fall we had here in NS, so I took the week off from work and just lived there for the duration, bailing out water, setting up pumps, making sandbags and generally rolling my eyes as I watched 3 different people move the "BRIDGE CLOSED" blockade on the street and drive into the collapsed bridge pit 15 seconds down the road from the house. Yes I am serious.
tl;dr shit week for doing personal projects, but as always, I will continue to make good on my promise to always (eventually) update these icons.
Added The Singularity
Added Gabriel
Added Nick Cage
As per usual, if you'd like to use these yourself, you can find the files on Mega HERE:
Also, as some of you may know The DbD ToolBox has ripperoni'd, but I've been made aware of NightLight and I've uploaded my pack there as well, so if you'd rather use the app than download them from Mega you can find them there too by clicking the banner! (and maybe a few other DbD UI mods I've made in the future)
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Please remember that these are to use at your own risk as they may be flagged by EAC, so only use them if you are comfortable with that.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
Also if you want to see these character drawings in a much larger size and quality, you can do so HERE!
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jade-of-mourning · 6 days
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hiiii lychee :))
as you can see I have too much free time on my hands. but I have a decent amount to say today, so prepare yourself
I’m gonna try and keep this organized and maybe short so 1: do you have any more thoughts on the avatar mako au to share because it’s been rolling around in my brain a lot and I want to know what you have to say about it bcs the way your brain works is so. hajdhskapxn/pos
2: mako learning to draw by engraving his parents’ faces in the dirt of an alleyway over and over and over for years even as he starts to forget their faces. mako who wishes he could’ve afforded paper and charcoal at eight to put down something permanent, something accurate. mako getting their family photo from yin and giving her the scarf, redrawing the picture on the nicest paper he can find to give to her as well. artist mako,, save me artist mako,,,
3: more fem mako thoughts but makorrasami love triangle/eventual polycule(?) except they’re all girls. I just feel like the pining after your team captain who you now do know is gay except it’s because she’s dating a rich girl who’s also very hot is just a whole lot more fun than what they had going on in canon because. girls but sports au. sooo in love w that. also I don’t think makorra would get together in b1 like canon did for a couple reasons. for one, the girl trauma in addition to general trauma of being a homeless orphan. touch and gestures of affection from a person she doesn’t know well yet would probably be a no-no, and korra seems like a very touchy person, just in the natural way that her space is yours and your space is hers. also her energy? like obviously mako would come around but korra in b1 is so much more excited about the world than mako and I think that would kind of, like, intimidate her. (<-also reasons makorra could’ve worked later on but not when they happened) but as the series progresses, korra mellows and mako gets used to her. it works.
but then how does masami happen so early? because asami is the moon to korra’s sun. she’s calm and a careful thinker and after korra’s exuberance breaks down mako’s walls a little bit, asami would be able to slip in being everything mako imagines herself wanting. also more than financially stable. so masami becomes a thing, and korra is jealous, but she’s not sure of who which I personally think is so funny
but yeah that’s basically it. I always love how you take my silly little commentary and give actual thoughtful replies, it makes my day 😭
with love
🐌
snailon! good to see you here haha i totally didn't die for like two weeks what fjsgjhjkgfhs (i'm so sorry i took so long that you thought you imagined this ask hhh)
okay i actually have not thought about it for a hot minute but get this… i get like 40 hours a week back because no more percussion! so i have so much time!!! dude i'm going to rewatch lok AGAIN and then brainrot some more. avatar mako's love hate relationship with the entire fucking world is the only thing about it in my head. i'm sorry i don't have a lot to say about this au right now :(( it'll happen,,, one day,,,,
oh! (sobbing!) personally i am a fan of aspiring writer mako but also artist mako is extremely valid and i love the hc's you've built around it :)
girl for girl for girl makorrasami is really the best version of it tbh! love all your thoughts and actually that's a hilarious angle of korra getting the Sapphic Confirmation but it's not a good thing bc the love interest is actually dating a girl who is NOT korra except oh shit this girl is also super hot and attractive. what the fuck is this. korra my favorite girl in the world ever you're allowed to like all the girls in the world if you want and no one has the right to fault you for it.
anyway thank YOU for always sharing your thoughts with me!! i love to hear it and i'm sorry there was such a delay bhjfjgfh i'll get to your other ask soon promise. my commentary is a little bit dead today but i wanted to get this out instead of leaving it rotting in my inbox forever because i promise i have been turning it over in my head for a minute now :P have a good day snailon!
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Reacting to Contemporary Comics (Without Context) 13/?
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I've been working on this for six weeks. I'm sorry, homework and TWO ISSUES OF IMMORTAL THOR sidetracked me. Getting this post hammered out before the next issue of Immortal Thor comes out tomorrow.
I don't know what the fuck this is. I think it might be an anthology? We're joined by modern Thor genius writer, Jason Aaron, creator of the story with The Best Panel Ever in Comic History; and Walter Simonson, of nude!Loki bait fame, and several authors whom I don't recognize.
Spoilers for The Mighty Thor #700 (2017) and likely others.
This is feeling vaguely IT 5-ish
Thori! My good boy!
Thor wants to murder Yggdrasil. I love Thori.
Am I crying about mundane panels again? Possibly. In my defense I lost my dog recently.
Fuck I forgot he lost his arm!
Thori and the goat (idk which one it is) just following him is so great
"Man?" You recruited just random dudes, Malekith? What's Joe from Accounting gonna do? Did Doom have the afternoon off and owed you a favor?
Jane vs She-Hulk?! Why is She-Hulk so hot in this? Did this come out before Ragnarok? It must have, right? Ragnarok came out October 2017. Wait, no, it says December 2017.
WHOA, doc/nurse/whoever you are! HIPAA! I know Jane is technically a doctor, but she's here as a patient right now. Don't give her Jennifer's entire backstory.
Volstagg was Thor once?!
LOKI!!!
Loki why are you dressed like that? Where is your sense of style, you queer little twink?
THOR YOU DID NOT NAME THESE NEW HUMANS JANE AND STEVE WTF
There's my boi! Took you fucking long enough, dude
Yeah, because he's the God of Stories! Give him a fucking minute to try before you erase everything he's written! God.
Also can we stop drawing him so gross?!
Okay but I might change the name of my Loki playlist from Disaster Spouse to Little Prince of Jackasses lol
Why is Throg's name Simon Walterson... one of the prolific Thor writers is Walter Simonson... this is a multi-level spoof [I'm thinking he probably created the character, actually, but I'm not in the mood to fact check that atm]
Okay, when is Loki's thread of the narrative? Because that was... still in character, but he seems too cold about it for when I thought this was. Ugh, this is what happens when you let anyone other than Al Ewing write Loki.
NO! What the fuck? Talk about a NoTP! Hela and Thanos? Thanos needs to die alone and unloved. And Hela's married to Karnilla. >:(
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emmymaehereeeeee · 9 months
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Labs and Liquor
Part 2/?
here is part 1
"Alright you want to play games, bitch- let's fucking play," E.P snarled
Tyler lined the cups up on the table, "E.P, do you want to start?" He handed the fuming man a small plastic ball.
E.P rolled the small ball in between his finger as he stared at you, "I'll start," He mumbled before bouncing the ball off of the table and into the one of your cups. "Drink up."
You pull the ball out and toss it into the water cup, quickly downing the liquid inside of the cup. "Fucking hell- what type of cheap shit did you put in here?" You ask as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.
"What? S'not good enough for you, princess? Or can you just not handle your liquor?" E.P asks with a look of annoyance. This man was going to piss you off, he was attractive sure- but annoying as hell.
"Girl just play the game," Anna Kate mutters as she takes her place at the table. She lines herself up for the shot and sinks the ball into the cup, "Ooh drink up, Tyler," She says with a wink and a coy smile.
Tyler smirks back and downs the beer, "Oh she's right dude, this stuff taste like ass," he tips the cup so that E.P could see.
"Well you are the one that let the pledges-" E.P was quickly cut off by you, "Ladies, are we going to sit and argue about every little thing tonight? Hm?" You ask with a sharp edge to your tone, "Well is someone going to answer me?"
"You know you would be a whole lot prettier if you would just shut the hell up sometimes, y'know that?" E.P retorts, "Nobody likes bratty little bitches."
You stared back at him with a narrowed gaze and a wrinkled nose, "Your point being? I don't want you- conceited ass." You mumble under your breath before tossing the ball.
"Yeah and why is that?" E.P asks as he watches your ball bounce off the rim of the cup and onto the floor.
You roll your eyes and scoff, "Just drop it alright?"
E.P shakes his head and chuckles, "I don't think I will."
The game goes on for another ten minutes at this point Anna Kate is holding onto the edge of the table to keep herself steady and you have your arms wrapped around E.P. Tyler is laying flat on the table top staring at the makeshift beer carton chandelier.
"Y/N, we gotta go homeee, 'member- you said that-" she hiccupped, "you said that we weren't even 'pposed to be out 'night." Anna Kate said as she stared back at you with hazy eyes, she was swaying slowly.
Tyler who was the soberest one out of all of you took her hand, "Honey I think it is best if you stay here tonight, m'kay?"
"But what about Y/N?" She asked softly as she stared back at you.
"I am not ready to go yet- I am gonna stay with this idiot," You replied as you smacked E.P's chest with a giggle.
Tyler checked with E.P to make sure he was okay and then made his way to the bathroom with Anna Kate, "So your name is Y/N, huh?" E.P asked as he took a sip of his beer.
"Ooh secrets out!" You say as you fiddle with the collar of his shirt, "Y'know you're actually kind of hot- like really fucking hot."
"Oh like really fucking hot?" E.P asks as his hand slowly make their way to your waist.
"Yep. Hot enough that I would let you fuck me." You say popping the 'p' and drawing out the last 'e' in a sing songy voice.
"You don't even know my real name, crazy girl."
"Well you should probably tell me then."
"And why is that?"
"E.P just- it just doesn't sound right."
"Whadya mean?" He asks as he sets his can down, his eyebrows furrowed.
"It just isn't the type of name you want to scream out when you are being fucked, y'know?" You say as you detach yourself from him and begin to walk to the counter.
He grabbed your arm and pulled you back to him, "Elvis. How does that sound?"
"Well-"
"Let's try it out." He says as he eyes you up and down, the smell of alcohol lingering on both of your breaths.
Perhaps it was the liquor coursing through your veins that made this whole scenario seem to play out in slow motion or maybe it was the sound of your own heart beat blaring in your ears. "Please." You say softly, almost like a prayer, a plea from you to him.
"Let's go"
@arianatheangel-girl @lillypink @steph-speaks @crash-and-cure @18lkpeters @jahayla-parker @flwersgarden @insanelycrazyanddelusional @austinelvis-lover @elvisalltheway101
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purple duo incorrect quotes cuz i have nothing better to do in class
Subz: Where are you going? Vitalasy: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there
Subz: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor. Vitalasy: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.
Subz: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail Vitalasy: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call ClownPierce
Subz: You're right. Vitalasy: That's… That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
Vitalasy: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Subz: Okay. Vitalasy: And make out during the scary parts. Subz: Th- Subz: The scary parts. Subz: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Subz: God, give me patience. Vitalasy: I think you mean 'give me strength'. Subz: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.
Vitalasy: How petty can you get? Subz: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
Subz: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve. Vitalasy: I think you mean cards. Subz, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No, I do not
Subz: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box. Vitalasy: But – that’s just a trash can. Subz: It sure is!
Subz: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works. Vitalasy, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
Vitalasy: Welcome, fellow idiots Subz: Hello, Vitalasy Vitalasy: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot Subz: You underestimate me
Subz: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE Vitalasy: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially Subz, desperately, as Vitalasy bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE Vitalasy: Oh! B positive. Subz: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Subz: Kicks the door down looking panicked Vitalasy: What did you do? Subz: Nobody died. Vitalasy: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
Subz: Vitalasy and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's- Vitalasy: Sentences. Subz: Don't interrupt me.
Subz: holding a bottle Is this whiskey or perfume? Vitalasy: chugs entire bottle Vitalasy: It’s perfume.
Vitalasy: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside Subz: Subz: Vitalasy, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn… Vitalasy: Sips coffee from bowl
Subz: Can you please be serious for five minutes? Vitalasy: My record is four, but I think I can do it.
Subz: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are. Vitalasy: It’s not a joke. Vitalasy: I’m a legit snack.
Subz: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Vitalasy's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out…
Subz: It’s dark in here Vitalasy: Don’t worry dude I got this Vitalasy: Stomps his feet Vitalasy: Skechers light up
Subz: Vitalasy… Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? Vitalasy: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned. Subz: Subz: I wrote sanitize, Vitalasy.
Vitalasy: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground. Subz: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.
Subz: Stubs his toe FUCK! Vitalasy: Mind your language! Subz: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Vitalasy: Subz: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
Vitalasy: A theif. Subz: Thief? Vitalasy: Theif. Subz: I before E, except after C. Vitalasy: Thceif. Subz: No.
Subz: Vitalasy was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some. Vitalasy: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it. Subz: Vitalasy, you ate a chair.
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aardvark-123 · 8 months
Text
~How Minh Reclaimed the Sword of Fire from the Castle of Burning Steel~
Many years in the future, in the sundered realm of Massachusetts, the people of a small steading near the eastern coast had come into danger. To their aid came Lady Minh the Dauntless of the Order of the Minute, riding hard upon her fiery yellow steed.
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"Every girl's dream! Every girl's dream! Oh, &$@% off," spat Minh, kicking the refurbished Giddyup Buttercup in the shin. "Stupid tiny metal and plastic horse, everything aches down there."
In spite of the... disagreement with her noble steed, Sir Minh came anon to Finch Farm, where the local headman, Abraham of Finch, beseeched her for aid.
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"Ours was a happy, peaceful hamlet once. We had little compared to the city people in the south, but we had enough." Abraham wiped a tear from his eye. "But alas, black smoke now rises from yonder Saugus Ironworks. Cruel men have established themselves in there, dwarves and orcs calling themselves the Forged..."
"Dude," said Minh, "what the %£&@ are you talking about? What's an orc, and do you not know women can be raiders?!"
"But alas!" Abraham cut in. "My fearless, foolhardy son Jake, he always seemed to tire of our peaceful ways. He went to them, good knight! He took our clan's ancestral sword, the Infernal Blade of Shish'kebab, and I fear he plans to face those brutes himself... Or what if-?!" Abraham's voice dropped to a terrified whisper. "By the Sun Goddess, if he means to join them?!"
"Well, that wouldn't be great." With a sigh, Minh checked her map. "Saugus Ironworks... I guess can pay them a visit."
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With courage in her heart and the light of Lady Evetora shining down upon her, Minh rode to-
"No I DIDN'T, dumbass! I walked! Well, ran. I'm a video game character, we run everywhere."
Oh, Minh, can you at least try to work with me? *sigh* With courage in her heart and the light of Lady Evetora shining down upon her, Minh trekked at a gentle jog to the ancient Ironworks. Lord Saugus, father of the dwarves, had once blessed the castle with his shining hammer, but Minh felt a trickle of fear when its smoking spires rose above her.
An imposing figure in broad, spiked metal armour met her at the gate. "Halt, stranger!" he bellowed in the guttural tones of a Bostonian orc, banging his halberd against the flagstones. "None may enter the seat of the Forged who have not yet been tempered."
"Oh, I'm not here to enter anyone's seat, I'm here for the Dungeons and Dragons game at six. Minh Vu? You might know me as Debbie, um, Xiao Long... The half-elven paladin?" Minh said sweetly.
"Those who steal cool-sounding surnames from cartoons are not worthy!" bellowed the guard. "Your weak flesh will become food for the Forge. Prepare to die!"
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The guard surged forwards, but with a swipe and a flick of her nailed baseball bat, Minh had him drawing his last breath upon the ground. Her troubles were only beginning, though, for the warriors of the Forged were charging out to the gate. Tall, well-built orcs and short, well-built dwarves, shouting battle cries and raising a din with their twisted metal armour.
Minh stood her ground. With her longbow, enchanted by the elves of Sanctuary Hills, she opened fire on the enemy ranks, wounding many. Yet the Forged were no mere rabble, and they pressed upon her with bombs and gouts of flame, conjured by some foul, arcane engineering.
Poor Minh so nearly was roasted in her jumpsuit, but she was not to be defeated by overwhelming power alone. Fleeing into the shadows, Minh called upon the mystic aim-taking magic of the Vault Priests, and one by one she picked off her pursuers with burning red arrows. Exhausted, she fell upon the cold, muddy grass and into fitful dreams.
When she awoke from her impromptu nap, Minh found herself in unfamiliar surroundings. It was hot, although the jagged stone bricks and the faint morning sun through the stained glass windows suggested it should not be.
"Ah, the good lady of Sanctuary Hills awakens."
Minh sat up with a gasp, reaching for her bat. "Who are you?!"
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"Fear not, Sir Minh. I am a servant, but I can assure you that I am no ally to Lord Slag and his Forged."
Minh's eyes were wide with amazement. Before her stood a heavy-set metal creature, an orange crystal glowing upon their head. "A Protectron? Juuuuust great. Where the Hell am I, exactly?"
"You are in the Saugus Ironworks," the good-natured atronach replied. "I carried you here, to a room where few warriors tread, that my masters would not discover you outside when dawn broke."
"The %&£$'s an atronach? I mean, thanks for..." Minh cleared her throat. "Did you dip my hat in white paint?"
"Your helmet is being washed, good sir knight. But we have more pressing matters," said the atronach. "Lord Slag is about to execute young Jake of Clan Finch, on the flimsy reasoning that the Infernal Blade of Shish'kebab was too easy a tribute to give."
"Tribute... Ugh, so he DID want to join up!" Minh groaned. "Why do people have to become Raiders? I mean, I guess it's fun, what kind of LIFE are they gonna have?!" She paused. "A short one. Thanks in part to me. I'd better go and talk him out of it."
Thanking the noble atronach for his aid, Sir Minh alighted from the bowels of the fortress. With cat-like tread, she snuck through the keep, feeling all the while as though the air was growing hotter around her...
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Lord Slag had been waiting in the heart of the castle, on a gilded balcony above a lake of molten steel. His armour was like nothing Minh had yet seen, thick pieces of metal tied and riveted together into a tower, a scrapheap of fury and might. And kneeling at his side, trembling in a battered old rain coat, was Jake of House Finch.
"Ahh! At last, the great hero approaches!" Slag crowed in a voice like thunder. Not an orc but a man was he, and a formidable one at that. "Sir Minh of the Minute, what a fine name for a fine warrior. It seems my Forged had not the means to keep you away..."
"Cool," Minh lied. "I'm here for Jake and that sword. Do you wanna do this the hard way, or-"
"I am not an unkind man," Slag lied, "so hear my offer. By slaying my warriors, you have proven yourself a worthier man-"
"Woman!"
"Shut up. You have proven yourself a worthier man than all who fell before you. Worthy, perhaps, to be Forged! I offer you a test, Minh, one final show of loyalty." Grinning savagely, Slag picked Jake up by the collar and threw him to the floor below. "Kill this useless mongrel. Take his head and become my right-hand man!"
Minh smacked her forehead. "Do you even know what 'woman' means?!"
"Of course I- Er...?" Slag squinted down at her. "Oh! M-my apologies, good lady. I, er, that is to say, your hair is so short..."
Minh chucked a grenade at him.
Sound and heat filled the chamber, yet when the smoke from Minh's flame spell faded, Slag still stood. He strode, laughing, towards her, stepping on Jake in the process. Narrowing her eyes, Minh unsheathed her baseball bat and advanced on the dread lord of Saugus Ironworks.
"You had your chance, Minh," Slag laughed. He unsheathed a bright metal sword that caught fire when its blade met the air. "Now you will learn the truth of the Forge, that the strong are tempered by fire and pain, while the fate of the weak is but to melt!"
The Infernal Blade of Shish'kebab...! Minh fought to keep surprise off her chiselled face. "The Order of the Minute taught me this, Slag. The strong are not only the iron bars who become shields and axes! Sometimes the strong are the kind hands who weave cotton into a bed, coax good crops from the earth, and give comfort to the sick. But today, the strong is I, who shall deliver your evil unto its end!"
The thought ocurred to Minh, What the Hell am I saying?! No, seriously, what WAS that?!, but the time for words was past. Burning steel met wood and nails as she gave battle with Slag, beating away his savage strikes and scoring scratches into his armour. But Slag was strong, and rallying well he forced her back towards the wall.
Drinking a vial of Psycho Jet, the elixir she had been given by a witch from the Cambridge Institute of Thaumaturgy, Minh leapt over Slag's head onto the upper balcony. The mahogany shuddered beneath her boots, but it held, and she raised a hand alight with magic.
"Eat bottlecap mine, screwball!" roared Minh, and she threw her, um, arcane rune at Slag's feet. Mystic energy and the tops of around ten Nuka Cola bottles filled the chamber as Slag's armour was reduced to dust.
"Gaaahhhh!" Slag cried out in pain. "Such power...! You should have been mine, Minh. You should have been Forged! But I am lord of Saugus Ironworks, and only I will see the next dawn. Behold the true power of Lord Slag! Behold dragon fire!"
While Slag had been making his grand speech, Minh had been scampering down the walkways until she saw him directly overhead. She pulled from her bag a mystical staff of Lexingtonian make, the powerful Double-Barrelled Shotgun, and took aim at Slag's feet.
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"&%£$ yeah! How d'you like them holes in your feet, asshole?!" Minh rejoiced. She could take no pleasure in vanquishing this great foe, for near him lay young Jake of Clan Finch, coughing his last few breaths with a footprint pressed deep into his chest.
"Jake..." Minh sighed. "Tough break, kid. I can't believe he trod on you!"
"Nor can... I..." groaned Jake, dying.
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It was a solemn moment when Minh bent down over the body of her slain foe, his heart silent, his feet bleeding through their socks. Slowly, carefully, she untied Slag's belt from around his stout waist and took the Infernal Blade of Shish'kebab's asbestos sheath.
She picked up the discarded sword and sheathed it, cradling it in her hands for a moment before she slung it from her own laden belt. As Minh headed out of the castle, her footsteps echoing in halls now cold and silent, she thought only of the poor Finches, down one son, and how Abraham was probably going to want the Infernal Blade back before she'd even got to try it.
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"I-I get to keep the sword?! Thank you, Todd!" squealed Minh, kissing Abraham on the lips.
"I-I'm not Todd! I'm Abraham!" gasped Abraham, furiously wiping his mouth.
"And he's married!" cried Abigail. "To me!"
"Oh, I know! Don't worry, I could never compete with you," Minh lied. "Sorry about your son, guys. I was... too late for him."
"Dear Jake... The pain of his loss will remain with us forever," sighed Abigail. "But know this, Sir Minh. Thanks to you, a dark cloud has lifted over the land today, and perhaps... Perhaps now someone else's son will keep his precious life. You and and your order have our gratitude."
"Will you stay for the night?" asked Abraham. "We have mead and Fancy Lads Snack Cakes, surely not the fare you are accustomed to, but..."
"I do believe I will." Minh smiled. "Thanks, Abraham, Abigail, and the other one. Give me a minute, I need to get my stupid horse watered..."
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chalkrevelations · 2 years
Text
OK, THAT WAS A LOT. Especially for only about 2 1/2 minutes.
Thoughts at the end:
1. Porsche has infinitely more control than I do, because if that slimy little fucker Tawan had reached through those bars and groped me like that, he wouldn’t have gotten the arm back. But before I tore it off and kept it on my side of the bars, I would have used it to leverage him up against those bars so that I could use my free hand to throttle him and he couldn’t get away. WHERE are your Phoenix skills, Porsche? We’ve been blatantly reminded of your Phoenix persona by your tattoo in this very ep. Anyway, I can’t help thinking you’re remaining calm by planning how you’re going to take this asshole apart once whatever plan you’ve got going on reaches completion. More on that in a minute.
2. I’m a little bit over the Kinn = glass of hot milk metaphor. Just. Nooooo. Stop. It was bad enough one time. It’s an affront to nature to keep it going. Was that some kind of product placement? Is this the milk I’m supposed to drink with my blowjob bread? Because I wouldn’t put it past you dumbasses to make that joke. :facepalm:
3. TANKHUN, MY BELOVED. I think I’ve mentioned this in tags before, but I cannot help noticing how my dude has left the haute couture in his closet and has gangsta’d up for this second family meeting, when he goes to bat for Porsche. Like he’s getting his eldest son of the major family boots on, with this one, so you need to take him seriously.
4. Oh, Vegas. I don’t even know what to do with you. Do you know what you actually want at this point? Because I’m not sure you actually do know what you want, at this point.
5. KINN. :squints suspiciously: LISTEN. I am putting a shit-ton of faith in you, considering what a straight-up hot-mess dumbass you’ve been repeatedly in this episode. Has some of that stupid been an act? (Not ALL of that stupid has been an act, including how long it took you to realize Porsche was seducing you, but I forgive you for that one, because it allowed Apo to exercise his comedic chops, during which his face was repeatedly a delight. ANYWAY.) Exactly what kind of a long-game are you playing? Because I ... am actually trusting you and thinking that this is part of a plan. That everything you and Porsche are playing out in front of other people is an act. That you DO, in fact, trust someone, and that’s Porsche, because I know you’ve trusted him since at least mid-Ep 6, when he fell over asleep on you while you were asleep and for the first time, you didn’t come screaming up out of sleep trying to draw down on him. I was almost positive about this until the very last 15 seconds of the ep, when Porsche whipped around in the dungeon as if to say to you, “I KNEW you would trust me,” as if there had been a question of it, only for Vegas to be there instead. But ... was Porsche just playing out his role for whoever/whoever else might have been there?
KINN. Do NOT put me in some mfk’n clown shoes on this, OK? I don’t forgive easy. I’m just telling you.
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Text
10 of 1001
Today's album: Meatloaf - Bat Out of Hell (1977)
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The Loaf arrives!
Now, here is an album cover that I've always thought looked cool as hell since i first saw it in my dad's milk crate full of LPs, but i never got around to actually listening to it (mostly because i was really into the Beatles at that point in time, specifically Sgt. Pepper, incidentally another one of the album covers of all time, and not long after my Beatles phase came the phase i call "the total collapse of my parents' marriage" which led to a distinct and immediate lack of access to any part of my dad's record collection from then on).
Okay, unnecessary family history corner is now over, time to start Loafing.
Right off the bat, before I've even hit play, i have to notice: 7 songs, 46+ minute runtime, which means that the average song length is over 6 minutes. Now, something like this can be as much a positive thing for me as a negative thing.
On the one hand, there's been The Doors' tiresome meandering and King Crimson's acid jazz (in that 'it's about the notes you don't play', and no notes were played for like 3 minutes), but on the other hand I'm also fairly into post-rock and i have, on multiple occasions, referred to a 20+ minute long song by Godspeed You! Black Emperor as "a banger". (Rockets Fall on Rocket Falls is a killer, fight me.) Then i remembered that this is Meatloaf, the King of the Power Ballad, and also that Paradise by the Dashboard Light is roughly 174 minutes long.
Bat Out of Hell-
This intro fucking rules! Goddamn, that piano player should be chained to a wall somewhere for pounding on those keys that hard.
Some really great lines here "nothing ever grows in this rotting old hole/
And everything is stunted and lost/
And nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls
And nothing's ever worth the cost." PREACH.
Man, so much happens in this one song. It's a love song, it's a one night stand song, it's got the sudden and violent death of the narrator/pov character in the opening song of what i was led to believe was a three-album rock opera-lite... Hell, I've written legitimate short stories where less plot happens than within this song.
You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth (Hot Summer Night)-
To know me is to know that I've offered my throat to much more dangerous things than the wolf with the red roses.
Kind of a repetitive chorus, but it's only 5 minutes long, how is *anybody* supposed to tell a story in that short of an amount of time? :V
Heaven Can Wait-
So i was *almost* in this play in high school and- oh, this is a different thing.
"And all i got is time until the end of time" is a great line.
Okay, for real, who was the pianist on this album? (Aside: Bat Out of Hell was composed by Jim Steinman, who has *one hell* of a Wikipedia page, and the piano played by Roy Bitten of the goddamned E STREET BAND. Wait, also mixed by Todd Rundgren? Hot damn, no wonder this is like the 6th best-selling album of all time.)
All Revved Up with No Place to Go-
Well that's some Springsteeny as FUCK horns there, huh?
And to be honest with you, Mr. Loaf? No, i don't really know what that's like. Most of the time I'm put into situations with little to no revving whatsoever, and it's infrequent that i really desire a place to go, especially if I'm already home.
The middle breakdown about drawing first blood just feels strange and kinda out of place to me, but i am Not a person who wrote three albums with combined 100 million units sold, so my opinion is just that.
The faster end right after that kicks some ass, though.
Two out of Three Ain't Bad-
Well the title is regarding what might be the most depressing sentiment i can think of.
And then the second verse starts and it stays sad, just in a dramatically different way. Sad in a "okay, yeesh, get over your old flame already, dude, you said it yourself, it's been YEARS" kind of way.
Like Stephen Stills said (7 years before this album came out): "if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with", because this? just ain't it. Open up your heart a bit.
Paradise By the Dashboard Light- I've heard this song a number of times throughout my life, and i don't think i ever clocked just how insanely horny it is.
I guess i never really thought too hard about the lyrics, mostly because the last time i heard this song it was on the radio and i was still a kid. The baseball announcer part is kinda clever about it at least.
Ellen Foley CRUSHES her part of the duet. It's like the power-belting is a competition between her and Loaf, and she's gonna get that fuckin gold, come hell or high water.
Also just saying, ladies, if you ask someone if they love you, and they say "uhh, get back to me on that one, i gotta sleep on it"? They don't, and they won't. Don't waste your time.
But that last line is still pretty hilarious, all said and done.
For Crying Out Loud-
Okay, if this album and the two after, the trinity of bats into and out of hell, are all supposed to be like one continuous story throughout, then this song's placement right after Paradise is incredibly darkly funny.
Also, do we really need the image of meatloaf's turgid hog ripping through his jeans, twice? in one song?
(It's not so explicit, but you tell me what "can't you see my faded Levi's bursting apart?" is regarding, because while Meatloaf was a bigger dude, i really don't think he's talking about splitting the seam on the ass, and there are definitely other rhymes for "heart".)
Also, another false ending with 3 minutes left in the song. These songs wouldn't be so long if you stopped *trying* to end them and just ended them, man. (I'm being facetious here, but only kinda.)
Overall, a really good album. I can easily see why it sold so many copies, but i was honestly expecting it to be a bit heavier, given how hard that cover art goes.
Favorite Track: Bat Out of Hell! That intro, the economy of storytelling within (it's. so. much. plot!), the piano is on fire, all in all just one (bat out of) hell of an opening song.
Least Favorite Track: initially, i was gonna say You Took the Words, mostly for the repetition at the close of it, but actually sitting down and reading the lyrics to Two Out of Three Ain't Bad REALLY killed that song for me. It is bad, and you should feel shame.
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