#It’s terrifying. No one will ever want to sleep with you.'

[loomiseater]

Pissed (no this does NOT have any pee kinks)

warnings: smut ofc!, fem reader!, mean and toxic Rafe, dub con, Dacryphilia, choking, and, p in v. Let me know if I missed anything.

A/N: I’ve written fics before but it’s only for my notes, so this is the first fic I’ve written that’s being published. Criticism is appreciated! I would love to know how I can improve on my writing. Would you believe this took me an hour to write?

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This definitely isn’t repost worthy 😭 but if you do please give creds. @Loomiseater (Tumblr).

Written: April 21, 2024

Published: April 21, 2024

Summary: Rafe is pissed that you were hanging out with the Pouges. 

“I go on vacation for a week! One fucking week! just to find out you were hanging out with those pouges?!” You could hear Rafe’s voice echoing from downstairs along with the door slamming. His footsteps were starting to get louder as he ran up the stairs angrily. 

You cover your face with the bed sheets to pretend like you’re asleep. The doorknob twists as Rafe comes rushing into the bedroom like a maniac. “Get up! I know you’re not sleep” He announced while yanking the sheets off of you. “I know you heard what I said downstairs!” He shouted. “Why are you so pissed that I wanted to hang out with my friends?” You say softly. When Rafe is angry, it’s best to speak to him in a calm, gentle voice so you don’t piss him off even more.

“Why am I so pissed?” He repeatedly uttered to himself like he heard the most unbelievable thing ever. You got up off the bed to try and calm him down but he pushed you right back down. “This is what I get for trying to fix a broke bitch” He said in a chuckle to himself. Your heart shattered at his words. Rafe has always been mean during arguments or when he’s upset but he’s never spoke this ill of you.

“Are you serious?” You asked as tears began to appear in your eyes. “You’re an ungrateful little bitch, you know that?” He started off with a pointed finger. “I buy this big house for not only me but you too, I give you a weekly allowance so you don’t have to work, AND I took your ass out the Cut!” He yelled. It’s like his voice gets louder each time. “And this is how you repay me? Hm?” He questioned as his face got closer to yours. 

You tried your best not to cry but the tears started flowing and the sobs got louder. His hand wrapped around your neck and the oxygen for you was running out. “You are MY wife, understand?” Rafe questioned as you nodded your head. You tried to move his hand off your neck but he only tightened his grip. 

“I only do this because you’re not safe when hanging around Pouges” he explained as his eyes softened while moving some hair out of your face. Your chest was starting to hurt from all the pressure Rafe was putting on your neck. “P-please, let me go” the words struggled to come out of your mouth and Rafe finally released his hand from your neck. Nothing but choked sobs could come out as Rafe immediately apologized.

His face was filled with nothing but regret…this was the first time you’ve ever seen Rafe genuinely sorry. “I’m so sorry baby!” he expressed while moving his forehead against yours. “It’s okay” you say that but you didn’t really mean it. Deep down you’re terrified of Rafe. You know what he’s capable of. What he can do to you and get away with it.

“I just got into argument with my dad and- I took my anger out all on you” he explained anxiously. “No, really Rafe- like I said, I’m fine” you said while wiping the tears that were still falling.

“Y/n, don’t lie to me!” He said sternly as you jump a bit. He noticed this action and gently grabbed your hands. “Let me make it up to you” Rafe says while placing kisses down your neck. You weren’t really in the mood after what just happened. “Rafe. No” you say, unsure what’s about to happen next.

“Shut up, I’m making it up to you” he said while pushing you down on your back and leaving trails of kisses down your neck. It was like he didn’t care, but it’s always been like this. What Rafe wants, Rafe gets. He started places kisses to your exposed chest, you were in nothing but a bra and shorts. 

You didn’t want this, you didn’t want to do this but your body was telling you something else. The tension was thick between you and Rafe and your body was heating up. Your bra was being unclipped, he then threw it to the floor, not caring where it landed. He gently grabbed one of your breasts and started sucking on your nipple softly while looking you in the eye. You didn’t break eye contact with him, it was turning you on even more. Soft moans flew from your mouth as Rafe kept sucking.

“P-please” You choked out as Rafe let out a dark chuckle. “Please what? You want me to fuck you, huh?” He replied with that stupid smirk he always has. He slowly slid off your shorts and felt you. “All that resisting just for me to feel how wet you are” he laughed. He was right, after what he did to you, you were somehow soaked.

Rafe flipped you onto your stomach and left a hard smack to your ass. You hissed at how hard the slap was and it’s like he somehow got even harder. His dick was straining under the sweats he had on as he was pressing against your ass. You could feel kisses being placed on along your back along with a groan Rafe let out. He began take his clothes off and get on his knees behind you as you felt him shove himself in. It caught you off guard, resulting in you letting out a loud moan.

“Shit you’re so tight!” He expressed as he through his head back. He didn’t even wait for you to adjust, he began thrusting inside you like a mad man. The room was filled with nothing but the squelching sound from your pussy and grunts from Rafe’s mouth. “Fuck!” You muttered to yourself. You didn’t want to giveaway how much you were enjoying this but you're pretty sure your wetness spoke for itself. 

He pulled out and slammed back into you as you tightly grabbed the sheets beneath you. The familiar feeling was rising in your stomach. Rafe grabbed your hair and made sure your back was fleshed between his chest as he spoke into your ear. “Pussy so good, make me wanna put a baby in you” he grunted as you came all over his dick from just his words but that didn’t stop him. That was probably the loudest moan you’ve ever let out. 

“I’m cumming! I’m cumming!” You shout as tears flow from your eyes from the overstimulation. Rafe looked down at the mess you made on his dick and it made him whine, almost cumming at the sight in front of him. He pulled out and turn you back on your back. With no warning he put your legs on his shoulders and began thrusting. “Rafe!” You moaned as he was sliding in and out of you. Yours nails deeply scratched his back which led him to slower his thrusts. 

“Your so perfect” He said lowly. Nothing could come out from you except for sobs. “It’s too much Rafe!” You whined from all the stimulation. "You look so pretty when cry" And when Rafe saw you crying he let out a groan while cumming inside you. He began kissing you and rubbing your clit until your legs were shaking. It’s like he knew the exact moment you would finish. He pulled out as you squirted, letting his dick get covered in it while he began to thrust himself in his hand. This time, painting your thighs white.

“You did so good, baby” He says while placing a kiss to your forehead. You passed out on the pillow from your recent activity as Rafe got from off the bed and cleaned you with a wet hand towel.

#rafe smut #rafecore #rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe x reader #rafe fic #rafe outer banks #smut fic #outerbanks rafe #rafe cameron x reader #outer banks #obx x reader #obx fic #obx fanfiction #drew starkey #loomiseater

[icycoldninja]

Angsty Astarion headcannons

A/N: Ok, so way back in December of '23, I went through a short Astarion phase because I never went through a Twilight phase as a teen, and during the heat of said phase, I wrote this, and since I'm quite proud of how it turned out, I've decided to post it--but this is a one time only thing, it doesn't mean I write for Astarion or any BG3 characters, at least, not anymore.

Tw: Dark, dark, angsty themes that might make ya cry, proceed with caution.

-Severely claustrophobic and nyctophobic as a result of the underground confinement Cazador had sentenced him to.

-Refuses to go into tiny spaces; his bedroll must be spread out wide like a mat, and his tent must be roomy and airy.

-Sleeps/Meditates/whatever with candles lit. (with a nightlight in a modern AU)

-If the power goes out/wind blows his candles out and he can't light new ones for whatever reason, he will panic. Unless he can go outside and relish in the light of the fire or celestial bodies, or unless you have a flashlight, he will curl up into a little ball and cry softly until either the situation blows over or if you come to help him.

-Despite how much he loves you, there is a tiny part of him that is still afraid you will use him for his body and leave him to die, used up and dry.

-Trust is hard to build with him because of all that's happened, but stay persistent and he'll let his walls down.

-Has night terrors almost every night but is too scared to go to you (or anyone) for help for fear of being found and kidnapped by Cazador somehow--the only exception being very terrifying nightmares that have him screaming.

-Touch starved beyond comprehension.

-Desperately needs someone to hold him at night, or just to hold him in general. It doesn't matter how long, if someone would just give him a hug, it'd make his day.

-Sometimes he worries that you'll leave him because of his heavy emotional baggage.

-Gets crazy jealous and will turn into a bat to spy on you if he suspects anything.

-As time progresses, his negativity and jealousy starts to build up and soon expresses itself through violence. If you two don't do something about it, he could end up hurting you.

-He'd never kill you, but rage clouds the mind. Astarion could hurt you pretty badly, especially with that knife of his, and if he ever did so for whatever reason, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

-Puts on a brave, flirty, sassy face in public, but cries a lot in private. Like a lot.

-Does his best to cry as quietly as he can; an old habit from his time with Cazador. He bites a pillow or clamps his hand over his mouth to muffle the noise, careful to breathe through his nose and limit the noises he makes.

-All he really wants is someone to snuggle his fears away and just be there for him, however possible.

#astarion #Bg3 #baulders gate 3 #baulders gate astarion #Astarion x reader #Angst #Angst headcannons #Sad #poor astarion #Astarion baulder's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #Fanfic #Angsty #angst headcanons #icycoldninja writes

[stevie-petey]

ive been feeling a little stug deprived but i cannot for the life of me think of a blurb idea so,, hit me with a blurb you've been wishing to write about stug :3

anon u also stumped me like i KNOW i have blurbs ive been dying to be asked about but suddenly my mind is blank ,,,, pls take this silly thing my brain managed to concoct

enjoy !

"one more loop around the block before i take you home?" steves voice rasps out, husky from lack of use. neither of you have spoke much as he drives the two of you around hawkins. its been at least an hour now; music plays softly throughout the car and the windows are rolled down to let in the early june nights cool breeze.

you lean your head against the passenger seat and listen to freddie mercurys smooth voice as he plays over the speakers. hes become one of your favorite artists thanks to steve. "i dont want to go home just yet."

steve grins, he knew youd say this, and you smile at the knowledge that he knows you so well.

his fingers are wrapped lazily around the steering wheel as he takes a slow turn back towards downtown hawkins. you watch his movements, illuminated by the lamp posts that spill light onto the otherwise dark wooded street. its late, the first monday of june and the last day of your junior year.

it had been steves last day of high school, and all he had wanted to do was spend it with you in his car, driving in circles around your small town.

you close your eyes and allow the moment to seep into your bones. youre in steve harringtons car, there are crickets outside as he drives you around the town the two of you met and grew up in, and youre in the car with the boy that you love and you know that he loves you, too.

"you still with me, angel?"

you hum. "im still here, honey."

"your eyes are closed."

"im enjoying the moment," your eyes remain closed and yet you can feel the smile that steve flashes your way. you can hear it in his voice, you can feel the shift in the air.

the car slows down at one of hawkins only stop lights. steve looks over at you and feels a heavy wave of affection roll over him. youre curled into yourself in the passenger seat, your hair spills over the headrest as you close your eyes, and its rare that he gets to see you so relaxed. "i can take you home if youre tired."

"but i love driving around with you," you mumble, feeling sleep beginning to crawl over you. but steves car is warm and smells like home. "one more loop, please?"

again steve feels affection caress his face when he hears your words. youve only curled further into yourself and your eyes are still closed; steve knows you really are struggling to stay away now. its late, he knows he should get you home soon so you can sleep, yet steve cant bring himself to deny your request.

"one more loop, but then im taking you to bed."

you giggle, happy youve won, but you try to argue some more anyways. no one else has ever been able to match your wit, so you revel in the quips you share with steve. "fine, its the first day of summer. dont be such a grandpa."

steve laughs, his voice is still husky and you can feel it drape over your tired body. "angel, weve got all summer to drive around this stupid town."

weve got all summer.

"promise?"

more crickets chirp and the car begins to drive once more, the stoplight now green. freddie mercury sings about the love of his life and how he doesnt want her to hurt him. your question of a promise joins alongside his pleads, and steve understands.

"i promise." he reaches for your hand and you feel his soft lips press against your palm. hes slow with the kiss, as if hes sealing his promise with it, and your body fizzes at the touch. "now lets get you home."

you bring the hand that hes holding to your face and nuzzle against it, too tired to respond with words. you simply nod your head and keep his hand there as a content sigh escapes you. steve has to bite his lip, scared he'll say the three words that terrify him.

youre everything.

youre his everything.

but steve has all summer to tell you this.

so instead he drives you home, taking the long way just so his hand can rest against the dip of your cheek for an extra few minutes.

#ask #anon #m speaks #m's writing #come home blurb #set in between seasons 2 and 3 ! #steve is so so so in love #and theres something so intimate about driving around in someones car late at night without saying anything

[ask-the-no-killing-game-au]

For everyone in the cast, how are you doing? I mean this both externally and internally, a lot has happened

Answers under the cut as i don't want to put too much in the tags. People who don't want to see the au, just enjoy the drdt fanart, maybe go block my au's specific tags if you really don't want to see :3

Ace; Happy he dodged a bullet by not going to the meal, but still pretty terrified of what's to come. He's always been scared of a lot

Arturo; He's not doing well, but claims he's the best he ever felt - and believes that, too. Everything he does is for Veronika now, nothing is for himself anymore

Arei; One of the people to find David. Pretty terrified, as she did feel bad for him. She also seems to have gotten into a disagreement with Eden, so spends a lot more time with J

???; Ever since she ran away from the meal, her location has been unknown. (Yes, she's alive and not dying.) Apart from Whit, nobody really cares, as they're more focused on David and Arturo.

David; Second worst mental health in the cast, after Arturo. He wouldn't do anything to himself if it threatened his life, but if given the opportunity by someone else...

Eden; The stress of the situation is really getting to her. She seems to be losing her patience with people..

Hu; She still just wants to help everyone, no matter what. Extremely worried about Nico, as she saw them as her family.

J; Doesn't care about Arturo, but worried about Nico. Still can't seem to get over what happened with Veronika.

Levi; Also wants to help, but isn't doing as well as Hu. She isn't particularly worried as she finds it difficult to understand his own emotion

Min; Just trying to distract herself, it's all she has

Nico; Terrified for their life. Constantly hiding, only leaves to get food or a bathroom. They want to stay away from Arturo.

Rose; Tries to sleep a lot of the time. She's been spending time with Levi and Min in hopes that they can create a friendship out of the situation.

Teruko; Her luck seems to have gotten her into a lot of bad situations. Doesn't regret staying here, as even now at least she has her own room and fresh food.

Whit; Trying to stay very positive, but it's difficult when his partner has completely gone missing.

Xander; ???

Hi, if you read this far.. Here's everyone's current location.

Relationship diagram has been updated.. also, nobody noticed the timestamp in the previous post.

#ask the no killing game au #drdt no killing game au #drdt non killing game au #danganronpa despair time au #drdt au #danganronpa despair time #drdt #non killing game au answer!! #ace markey #ace drdt #drdt ace

[tuff-ponyboy]

adding on to the idea that dal's room at buck's would become an urban legend, I think the same would happen for the park where bob was killed at. the swings go crazy every night just after 2 am......the fountain water supposedly turns to blood every year on the anniversary of bob's death.....parents tell their children to be home for curfew or else an old greaser ghost will get you...

#my paranoid crazy ass most definitely would do this shit #do you guys have any urban legends about your town? the high school here has an underground bunker that kids in the 70s would go down to #and do 'santanic rituals' which sounds like some satanic panic shit but it was real! #there was a book made about it....and then another book made about it... #one kid killed himself and his house burned down but a pic of him survived the fire #his friend was on Main Street and got hit in the head by a car and then another had the same thing happen in Vegas #they all had something happen to the left side of their face. like homeboy shot himself on the left side and they all got hit on the left #his grave at my city cemetery is destroyed :( which is so sad but so fucking creepy #so I'm terrified about this my whole life right? like I can't sleep bc he's gonna get me and then i read the book when I'm 19 and it was #the most edgelord ass shit I have ever read. shit pissed me off cuz everyone in town says how terrifying it is but it wasn't at all #anyway if you have read this far and want the book name it is written by the same author who wrote go ask Alice #the outsiders #the outsiders 1983 #dallas winston #johnny cade #bob sheldon #ponyboy curtis #i just be saying shit #the outsiders headcanons #my headcanons #I guess another legend is how this kid got whacked by his mom in the 80s with a hammer and died but that was very much real and tragic #I just say it's a legend cuz I grew up near the house and had to walk past it every day from school! #my mom was across the street when it happened and she saw the body bag and then my aunt asked my grandparents if they were going to kill #her and her sisters! okay wait fjdjdjdj the mom also had a hit list which was full of people in the ward (church..Mormons live here) #I love that fact tbh like it's so fucking tragic but the fact she had beef with church people and wanted them dead.....Yeah

[rometabss]

girl who has a romencken playlist that consists of 50% religious songs

#idk what it is abt them like #theyre honestly kinda loustat coded #the god/devil image of one of them #and the devotion the other has for them #the inherent terror that comes with thst devotion #like if ur love isnt me and the devil hell and you you want it darker glory kiss me son of god not strong enough big god the killing moon #and ethel cain is it really worth it #smth abt finding religion in one another #or more specifically too finding a god AND devil-like figure in someone and devoting urself to them #its very sexy like what can i say #“to fall in love is to create a religion that has an fallible god” #“love for you is larger than usual romantic love. its like a religion. its terrifying. no one will ever want to sleep with you” #roman roy #jeryd mencken #romencken #roman x mencken #succession

[stupid-dyke]

I can tell i am now experienceing actual real sleep deprivation and not just the omnipresent idiopathic hypersomnia fake sleepiness that my stupid lying body never shuts up about. I can tell because I am fallijng asleep in class regardless if I take my medication and I feel like everything is so, incredibly stupid and horrible, and everyone giving me homework or telling me to do anything is attacking me. And I can;t hold a conversation. And people are noticing my strange manner and pointing out that I seem wrong. And yet here we are AGAIN I have AGAIN stayed up late AND not gotten any work done. And on top of that I broke my fucking glasses tonight because I left them sitting on my fucking bed. And I'm freaking my parents out by crying over the phone and also I think I actually injured my shoulder last week its been hurting for four days now. and I'm so sad and mad at myself for not sleeping and not working but I can't work because I havent slept and I cant sleep because I havent worked. And every single time I get in a bad time like this my dad worries im going to die because i was suicidal for like a week in 2019 and then he gets mad at me for worrying him and I feel so so so guilty. Im so so sad.

#and I dont want to fuckign sleep even though i really need to and I spend every fucking seconf of every fucking day being sleepy #because even when I get enough sleep im still FUCKING sleepy so what is the FUCKING point. Why not just NOT FUCKING SLEEP. #Im so fucking sick of myself and my body and my pain and my stupidity. #AND ITS SO STUPID BECAUSE HERE I AM MISSING ALL MY ASSIGNMENTS SCARING MY FAMILY WEIRDING OUT OTHER STUDENTS AND MAKING MY PROFS HATE ME #BECAUSE IM FUCKING SLEEPY. stupidest fucking sounding reason on earth to have a fucking crisis. #no one ever hears me say im sleepy and thinks oh thats really serious i really want to help you now its literally just annoying to ppl #haha wait til you have kids or get older or a full time job ha ha #cool I am fuckign terrified of the future because I know how mad everyone gets at me when im too disabled to do what im supposed to #and I know its going to get to a point where I can't and there will probably be no one left to help me. I'm almost certainly going to outli #outlive my parents and my sister and even if i ever get married ill probably also get divorced so I'll be all alone #friendships aren't safe becuase you can love someone so much for 5 years and she just tells you one day she doesn't want to be burdened #by you anymore and you never hear from her again #its a dark scary fucking world and you want me to be passionate about a field of study or something?? jesus christ can you all just fuck of #I dont want to go to grad school i dont want to work i dont want to live alone i dont want to live with my parents forever #my head hurts so much goodnight guys sorry for ranting its literally fine im literally just really sleepy sorry for being melodramatic

[asthmasam]

#litany in which certain things are crossed out #richard siken #p #it’s terrifying. no one will ever want to sleep with you #i take the parts that i remember and stitch them back together to make a creature that will do what i say or love me back #you will be alone always and then you will die #sorry about the bony elbows sorry we lived here

[afieldinengland]

i don’t think i’m ever going to be kissed again

#it’s like a religion it’s terrifying no one will ever want to sleep with you

[even-if-in-another-time]

YOURE DATING SOMEONE???? HOW??? WHEN???

THIS IS THE THIRD ASK AJDJDKBDKDBDJD IM DECEASED /POS

#but yes i maybe kinda sorta have a boyfriend #(he’s genderfluid) #(and the reason i discovered i’m mspec lesbian as opposed to just lesbian) #but uh. yeah. childhood-best-friends-to-him-shutting-himself-off-from-the-world-when-i-had-to-move-because-it-was-really-painful-but-then-on #-the-last-day-before-i-move-we-have-a-sleepover-and-stay-up-all-night-until-i-have-to-leave-to-literally-drive-two-thiusand-miles-and- #because-we-didn’t-have-phones-promising-to-write-to-each-other-and-then-my-new-life-starts-in-a-brand-new-place-and-i-just-never-do-write- #until-two-years-later-when-covid-hits-and-i-think-of-him-and-find-his-old-address-on-google-maps-and-then-send-him-a-letter-and-am-terrified #-we-won’t-be-anything-like-the-people-we-were-because-i-sure-as-hell-am-not-until-we-get-each-others-phone-numbers-and-i-call-him-and-it- #just…-clicks-and-we-slowly-become-closer-and-closer-friends-and-as-we-both-discover-our-sexuality-and-gender-shit-and-maybe-kind-of-realize- #that-we-both-like-each-other-but-not-telling-the-other-because-we’re-literally-two-fucking-thousand-miles-apart-but-it’s-been-two-years-of- #going-to-sleep-with-each-other-on-facetime-and-being-there-to-say-goodnight-and-i-love-you-and-putting-my-phone-on-mute-to-scream-into-my- #pillow-because-fuck-i-love-him-and-then-finally-one-day-he-asks-me-if-i-like-him-and-im-99%-sure-thats-the-closest-ive-ever-been-to-having-a #-heart-attack-but-i-cut-him-off-and-tell-him-yes-of-fucking-course-and-we-both-are-sitting-there-at-1am-for-me-and-4am-for-him-crying-on- #facetime-and-laughing-at-the-absolute-absurdity-of-it-and-then-just-going-on-with-our-lives-and-our-conversation-because-of-course-it’s- #always-just-been-like-this-with-us-just-somehow-inexplicably-clicking-and-the-only-thing-that-changes-is-that-he-tells-me-“goodnight love’’- #when-we-go-to-bed-and-i-want-to-explode-because-im-ninety-percent-sure-its-a-fucking-dream-but-it’s-NOT-and #i #okay im going to hope that absolutely nobody took the time to read those tags #because the more i type this the more im realizing just how much it sounds like a fucking ao3 story #anyways. #so moving on

[ghostzzy]

why am i awake!!!!

#i know why but it is incredibly inconvenient!!!! i have SO MANY THINGS TO DO TOMORROW!! 😩 #someone save me from my revenge bedtime procrastination turned pathetic introspection #richard siken you said i could have anything i wanted but i just couldn’t say it out loud #it’s terrifying! no one will ever want to sleep with you!!! #izzy.txt

[trashcanalienist]

#i lay in bed for hours cradling my bear the one thing that gives me comfort and i think of ends endlessly #i could try to reach out more but i don't want to worry anyone and i'm so tired #what keeps me here? intertia? my family? my friends? my little beast? my boyfriend? #do i deserve those things? if i do do they deserve to lose me? life is only suffering for me but other people seem to be having a grand old #time. having endured so much pain i do not want to ever inflict it on others. but i want to stop hurting. life is a series of decisions and #consequences and then one way or another it's over #radius. you would understand this complicated dilemma of mine. if your robots did not require your sacrifice - if there was no purpose to #your end nor as there never is any purpose to your life... #dear primus sweet helena what of you? if all beauty and curiosity in the world was unattainable and forever beaten out of your desperate #loving fingers #dearest henry if the secrets of the universe were universally denied to you... #i can only ask from you who want to live. because all those who wanted otherwise got exactly that and it seems they would be #and must have been fine with that. #oh chester. ian and dеad and layne and kurt...and i don't want to think about things not known for sure but. god. i am terrified to think #of -- of anything concerning that. he was alone. they all were whether through purposeful isolation or just a few hours and it really #doesn't take all that long. i know this well. i can still taste it. when you dedicate yourself to it suddenly it runs hotter than ever #before. it's...indescribable. life or agony? maybe both. red. #ah what was i saying... #oh yes the middle ground i walk #for that -- is where i sleep. i cannot help but think and think constantly. i fever and rush and howl and cry and feel so much #erik? if you had known that redemption could only come by your own hand but would never make you accepted? #if you knew that that which you have been so denied and that which no human could live without... #hated you so and would never accept you for the beast can never be loved by society even if he stays his place #and you glorious phantom would never be so self-effacing even as you loathe what you are. my friend. #and winslow. what you have been through. #words i speak #phantom musings #nonsense

[everymanpdf]

i think being alone in my head for so long (borderline traits also) cursed me with feeling like the only way ill ever feel loved is if someone loves me with the same intensity that i love with. whereas people love all different kinds of ways and someone can love me quietly and steadily and still love me. evil -_-

#love for you is larger than the usual romantic love its like a religion its terrifying no one will ever want to sleep with you etc #that post on here that was like what the fuck is an open relationship die for me

[frogchiro]

virgin sacrifice reader offered to war god ghost?? prepare to be his lovely wife instead of a sacrifice with at least 10 demigods running around, he wants to raise strong warriors!

Ghost would definitely be a god similiar to Ares; a god of war, brutality, bloodshed, masculinity and virility. Men go and pray by his shrine or in his dedicated temple to give them strength in both battle and bed, to be a strong and unbeatable warrior and be able to father strong, healthy children.

One such temple, the main one, is in a surprisingly remote location, surrounded not by a major city or capital but a few villages. According to myths it was this place where a brutal battle took place millenia ago where the fearsome god Ghost defeated an army all by himself, the blood of his slain enemies served to make the land fertile and for many villages to grow and prosper...until now.

Usually sacrifaces to appease the god would be made by the men of the villages; black stallions, the strongest bulls, wine, silver and pure steel, everything that has connections to masculinity and power, however some kind of horrible fatum seems to hang over your little village. The animals either die young or are sickly and weak, the wine turns out sour like vinegar, there in so money to buy anything either and it's taken as a curse by the elders. If nothing will be done and Ghost won't have his sacrifice who knows what will happen?

So they decide on the next best thing, a desperate last choice reach in hopes to appease the brutal god-a virgin sacrifice. The prettiest, unmarried and untouched young woman is to be chosen, dressed in the finest, gauzy silks and locked inside the stone temple in hopes that the god will come down and the blood of a slain virgin will calm his fury. Luck wasn't on your side it seems, you were chosen.

All you could remember were the desperate cries of your mother, the dissapointed remorseful look on your father's face and the ritual cleansing of the old crones in the village. You were cleaned in rose water, intricate patterns were drawn with a mixture of honey, mushed up berries and flowers on your breasts, around your nipples and bellybutton, and the most intricate was drawn on the place where your womb was. You were clothed in a white gauzy dress that was a symbol of your purity and then you were bound and dragged to the temple no matter how much you struggled and kicked and pleaded until you were finally locked in the dimly lit temple, only the many candles present to lighten the main chamber and to show the powerful, majestic sculpture of the god, Ghost.

Imagine crying yourself to sleep, everything hurt, you were scared and confused, all alone to die in this forsaken temple because some old men decided on it. Falling asleep out of exhaustion, the images of your crying, terrified mother haunting you even when sleeping.

Imagine waking up and instead of feeling cold and sore from sleeping on the unforgiving stone floor, and instead finding yourself laying on and under the most luxurious furs you've ever seen, the warmth of them felt like a blanket and the smell of them, pleasant warm masculine musk made a shiver run down your spine, just where were you?

Before you had the chance of looking around the room, you felt huge, strong arms clamping togehter around you and bringing you into a powerful, broad chest which rumbled with a growl like purr and a stern voice saying:

"Stay. Don't move around girl."

And the very same arms turned you gently around to face the man behind you and you couldn't help but gasp and breath out a tiny, frightened yelp-behind you was laying a man who looked like the stone sculpture of Ghost cane to life and became human. It...it was Ghost. You laid next to a god.

#kin speaks #asks #interactions #THIS IS SUCH A DELIGHTFUL ASK AND IDEA #sorry for this shitty ending but it was getting too long😭 #but i'm more than open to explore this more 💕💕 #god of war!ghost #cod x reader #cod mw x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley cod #simon ghost riley #simon riley

[nomaishuttle]

shots also freak me ouy bc im like ohhh my god what if i get a shiver and the needle breaks and then its judt fuckjng there forever it scares me i hate having things in my arm. That was rhe only downside to my appendectomy was the umm. iv bc i was terrified if i bent my arm itd push the needle in or something very scary

#yes that was truly the only downside like the throwing up was annkying but like. idk its kinda fun. sometimes it is a little bit fun to #throw up like it ISNT butlike. when yr sicj and throwing up it rly sucks andyr miserable and yr throat hurts and you feel gross abd yr #crying and stuff. but then when its been a while aince you last threw up its like..ok i kinda wanna throw up again ykwim #a2t #AGAIN sry #emeto #? #but ya. other than that it was fun i didnt even hurt too much like i got 2 sleep in my Moms bed which was saurrr comfy (jt became my bed #when we moved into the new house 😏 but now its my baby sisters bed -_-). so i just slept 4 like 2 days straight and likee. the only other #annoying thabg was the belly button stuff since it was laprascopic. so my belly button was bloody and hurt and everybody was like Ok you #cannot clean yr belly button bc if u do you could reopen the wound and thats like straight to your whole insides So dont do that. #but ive had this like. irrational preoccupation with keeping my belly button clean ever since i read this one aita like 2-3 years ago that #was like Aita for dumping a guy for not cleaning his belly button n she was like Yeah he said he judt never cleans it and every time i go #down on him i get hit with such a horrific scent im instantly turned off. and then that other thing that was like Scientists found like #5005i585858584 unidentified bacteria inside a belly button. it terrifies me so now i clean it Very vigorously which honestly it hurts a lot #sometimes when i do it bc i like. stick my finger in and my body wash is exfoliating. basically its miserable and i dont even have anybody #going down on me evrr nor will i for the foreseeable future Idk whos 2 say but like. what if the one day i dont clean my belly button is #the one day somebodys like Hey do u want some head. yk... #mdni #<- Rly sry

[stupid-dyke]

stayed up til 3 when I have an 8am again. I do this because I hate myself so sos sososososososososo much. It's really funny because I don;t fall asleep in class thanks to my meds but I've noticed every time I go to class after 4 hrs sleep people act weird around me which is how I know im acting really weird. And I am so extremely angry at myself. I spent 4 hours. well 8 hours. Well all day. Pretending I'm going to do homework and distracting myself with various other things on my laptop or crying on the phone to my parents. Got zerooooo work done at all i stayed up most of the nihght for literally no gain whatsoever this is pure self harm. Which I do becauase again I hate myself. Because I didn't do my work. Which i won't do tomorrow either because i'll be so tired I wont be able to string a sentence together even though I'm supposed to give a presentation haha. My favorite activity is staring at the clock on my laptop getting later and later and later. new high score etc. Who's a hypersomniac now. Imagine how much easier this semester would have been if I'd gone to bed before 2am ever. I'm so fucking angry at myself I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep now even. If I fail my classes again my parents are gonna make me live at home forever and say im too crazy to live on my own. I know I was supposed to get a therapist but I hate them all so, so, so much. I think people get that job bc they feel powerful telling some pathetic person what to do knowing I literally cannot do it and will come back week after week admittingn failure and paying

I know I was supposed to take the new experimental FDA approved drug for IH but the list of side effects is fucking terrifying and I live and sleep alone so i really don't want to take a super powerful sedative that can make you stop breathing. So I'm gonna keep taking stimualnts and lying to myself that today is the last day I stay up extremely late for no reason.

#it's really sad I'll skip the meds sometimes to try to sleep and it doesn't even help. I just feel worse while awake. #The real reason i can't sleep is because im screwing myself over by doing no work and im terrified im going to fail my fucking classes #and theyre all going to say im crazy if I fail my classes. theyre going to say im crazy and I self sabotaged on purpose #bc i dont want to succeed. Dad says that every day #Dad loves telling me everytjhing wrong with me multiple times a day every day so i never ever forget #hes so helpful. He's trying so hard to help. If i dont answer the phone he starts worrying ive committed suicide #again i was suicidal one week in 2019. Get the fuck over it. You've literally threatened to kill yourself multiple times. Fucking hypocrite #a bunch of my friends are going to graduate this semester and best case scenario i graudate next semester and then I'll lose touch with eve #ybody #and then the good times are over and life is boring and hell forever and ill get more disabled every year until I can't work and then I'll #run out of money and die #you know when I talked to my genetics professor about the alzheimer's results he said somethign will kill you eventually and it #wont be that unless you live to old age which will be good! #so true bestie. so ture #Guys lets be real here. Why the fuck. Do we live. why. It is so goddamn hard. Maybe it;s easy when u get sleep . But that hasn't happened t #me for a while #all my classes end next week and i havent done most assignments since spring break #also over spring break my parents met w a lawyer to revise their will adn afterwards dad told me im executor and explained to me what will #happen after each person in my family dies. #the assumption is that I will outlive everyone. they don't think my sister will live to old age adn they are already old #the lawyer apparently has clients with the same disability as me and all of them had the same thing happen. Once they get another disabilit #and get older it becomes impossible to manage IH and they cant work til retirement age #i just spent an hour typing this shit instead of sleeping. 4am-730am sleep lets go. I should kill myself #i hate my parents fucking advicce bc they;; be like well when i was ur age I was married it sure must suck to be single!!!! fuck you guys f