Tumgik
#It's Not Good. And it's notably worse when it's a person she 'loses to'; especially considering her upbringing
big-idiot-wolf-boys · 9 months
Note
Hi! I saw your tags on the poll and I was wondering if you could talk a little bit more about why you dislike living in the PNW? I've been trying to move there so want to get a local's opinion. Ty :)
Oh shit i don't want to do anything to shatter your dreams but be warned this is the one topic i am very bitter and jaded about. Please ask someone else too because while I hate living here other people DO love it and you should make an informed decision!
Being said.... here we go. I've lived in the Seattle adjacent area my whole life. In fact my family has been in the area for six generations and all of us hate it here more than the previous generation as we've watches the area develop. Maybe I just come from a bitter and jaded family. Maybe my specific town or county is the problem. I don't know. I'm not going to break this into bullet points or organize my thoughts or anything I'm just going to ramble.
But as the years go by, everything has gotten more expensive. But despite the raise in sales and property taxes, the area is less and less maintained. The roads are abysmal. The Public works projects such as maintaining shrubbery to ensure sidewalks follow ADA clearance and pedestrians can be seen, have been thrown to the wayside. The schools and other public buildings arent maintained and often just get replaced after they start falling apart. Every year there is less of a welcoming feeling to the area. Every year beloved businesses and entertainment venues are closing down and being replaced with churches and bars. Conservatives are creeping into the area and shutting down YMCAS, qanon maniacs are being voted into mayoral office. I have personally ripped down pro nazi flyers at the ELEMENTARY SCHOOL here. The drug problem is seemingly unstoppable. Regularly there are reports of millions of dollars of coke and fentynal being seized by the feds. People are dying every day in large quantities from the drugs. Ive watched a lot of people i love lose themselves to drug induced psychosis. Thefts and burglaries and violent crime related to drugs are rapidly on the rise. 1/3 of my hometown is unhoused and thats only people who have reported/admitted to it. Not counting couch hoppers and people trading work for housing at hotels. The schools are getting worse by the year. The elder of my two younger brothers graduated because they were giving out answers to end of year exams to boost their graduate stats, probably because of previous drop out rates. 23% of MY graduating class, including myself, dropped out because the quality of the education was so awful they just got GEDs instead. Violent crime is on the rise, especially around notable twilight locations such as Forks and Port Angeles. The numbers vary but in my specific town you need to make a minimum of 27/hour to afford a single bedroom apartment. If you can find a job that pays that much or an apartment. Good luck because it's not very likely. Last summer a woman asked a community page the same thing and specifically asked for info on what the area is like for teens. She ignored a lot of comments about the negatives from teens themselves and moved here anyway. This summer she posted her son has gotten into drugs and run away from home. I hate to say it, I know it's tasteless, but she should have listened. Cause and effect maybe. I hope her kid comes home safe. I also hope she learned a lesson about not ignoring advice when she asks for it.
I stay here because my family is here. My partner's family is here. Our jobs pay decent. But if I were single and impulsive, I'd bail the fuck out of this state as soon as I could.
Yes, it's beautiful here. Yes, there's cool festivals and parks and museums. But the PNW is not the land of dreams or opportunities unless you have a lot of money and resilience to facilitate it.
Make the choice that's best for you, anon. But please don't forget the negatives because you can easily get sucked into a life of drugs and poverty.
3 notes · View notes
crystalelemental · 7 months
Text
Special Costume Select Scouts (September 2023)
Now we have two Special Costume Select Scouts to choose from. Let's talk about the options available.
Select A
SC Diantha - A very sensible choice, especially for those who missed NC Hop. Diantha, oddly enough, has remained the premiere Fighting-type damage dealer in the game. Yeah, like even now, she's second best, only losing to Hop, and it's by a slim margin. Keldeo rules. If you have Aura Cynthia, you're likely able to handle all Fighting-weak content just off Bruno, but if you were craving a serious powerhouse in the type, Diantha's really hard to beat. That said, 1/5 has excellent DPS, but notably loses a lot of sync power. Diantha will still get it done, but she's definitely the type that looks longingly at 3/5.
SC Ingo - Bug Zone. That is realistically the only real value of a 1/5 Ingo. He has some odd utility, in a bit of physical debuffing (which doesn't align to any top meta Bugs except his brother), and a twinge of speed when he sets Bug Zone so it's not much. The evasion is cute but often irrelevant. If you invest to 3/5, he's an excellent nuke, but that's a pretty big if. Most Zone setters exist for 1/5 utility, and Ingo's no different. He's a bit worse off, this is really not a great Zone support, but Bug is in bad shape so there's an argument for him if you have SS Hilbert, Alder, or SC Emmet.
SC Emmet - Speaking of whom, SC Emmet is the big physical Bug man. I will be frank. 1/5 SC Emmet without EX is effectively without merit. I've had him for over a year, and let me tell you, the man does not accomplish squat. This is a guy who needs investment. And ideally that investment is EX. 1/5 EX can make it work. Natural Rising Tide is hugely valuable, and is his primary sync effect. Just do not expect him to do much in Gauntlet. I think I've benched him every single time.
SC Hilda - I adore SC Hilda. Rock damage is fairly hard to come by, and our Rock Striker collection is uh. Limited. Classic Blue, Emmet, and SC Hilda are still the big three, after like two years. Seriously. SC Hilda and SC Diantha remaining in power this long is kinda funny. That said, Hilda is my personal favorite of the three. While her damage numbers are overall worse off, Hilda succeeds by virtue of consistency. Emmet is the strongest, but only under Sandstorm; without it, he's substantially worse. Classic Blue is stronger on Hyper Beam, but has worse sync, and much rougher setup (defense drops compared to Hilda buffing defense every attack). Her gauge is also fantastic, with a bit of speed boosting and Fuel Economy compared to the others with 4-bar and Blue praying for Free Moves Next to proc. I will sing Hilda's praises endlessly, but Rock isn't...terribly hard to shop for? It is, but also we now have Gordie and Roark, who are pretty excellent. So it's a little harder to justify her? Especially considering those three are good, but not great. Rock is not a very strong type right now.
SC Lyra - Okay. SC Lyra is a very, very bad time. I'm willing to argue this until I'm blue in the face, despite the fact I might get her today. Lyra's problem is she's slow. She has terrible speed, and her buffing is +1 per action, dependent on what you want. Crit boosting is on grid and expensive to acquire. Attack boosting is every time she is hit. The only stat she buffs quickly is Defense. Her unique niche is her AoE Rebuff on Earthquake, but for Ground? She offers far, far too little to be exceptional for the type. She's in a terrible position with little being given. I know Support are generally always nice, but in this case? I'd sincerely argue she's the bottom of the barrel.
SC Zinnia - But now we must speak of the zenith. SC Zinnia is my personal pick for the best of this set. If you have NC Marnie, there is justification to not pull Zinnia. Otherwise...man there is no one who competes. Even NC Marnie is worse in my eyes, and I'm being so serious. It requires 3/5, granted, but come on. She's stupid good. 1/5 has merit too. Significantly less, but there are two benefits she provides. First, the ability to take Five Stats +3 parameter, and just eat all those buffs for herself in one action. Second, if you have NC Calem, his trainer move with her X Atk All immediately caps offenses of the entire team, which is perfect for Masked Royal. She has crazy utility even early on, and becomes one of the best units in the game by 3/5. Absolutely exceptional value.
Select B
SC Steven - I'm starting off with the obvious winner. If you don't have yourself an SC Steven, get yourself an SC Steven. 1/5 is perfectly sufficient, and gives such overwhelming attack bonuses to physical damage dealers it's insane. Partnered with SS Acerola, Fire and Grass types become effectively unbeatable if they're physically inclined. And that's before factoring in the buddy move, which has hilarious niche utility like Restrain, which powers up Selene specifically. He's amazingly strong.
SC Lillie - I'm not mad about it... Lillie is really good. At 3/5. At 1/5, she offers an incredibly limited buffing kit. 3/5 is her main niche, where she gets the option for double Potion MPR, and the tools to make her incredibly fast at buffing Sp Atk/crit to cap. Consistent healing every time she's attacked is also nice. Lillie is very good, and well worth considering if you already have SC Steven.
SC Sonia - Sonia's pretty bad. Like, the only time I saw her get any substantial utility was with Adaman/SS Acerola. Adaman really gave her a lot of tools as a dual strike component, but it's with the caveat that she must be 3/5 for Defense Crush 9. Otherwise, any offensive option can get the job done. Grass is also pretty well saturated, so it's not like she does much that's unique. As a Hit the Gas striker with poor speed, she operates on the SS Giovanni wavelength of "being terrible." I really cannot recommend her at all.
SC Guzma - Guzma's funny, but terrible. He has some notable fame as the guy who hits with the force of god, but only after missing three times and then landing Dynamicpunch. It's incredibly slow, and incredibly not worth your time.
SC Shauna - I actually like SC Shauna. I think the outfit is cute. But she's only okay. A good Gauntlet soloist for those who care about that stuff, and generally useful in that mode regardless. But for CS it's very hard to slot her in over alternatives. 1/5 is just that much worse. Shauna interacts with stages on the basis that she can sustain, and without Potion MPRs at all, she's going to seriously struggle with sustain given her inability to directly boost defenses. She needs investment.
SC Jasmine - Okay, now this one's for me. Barring SC Steven, I am going to argue, legitimately, that SC Jasmine is better than SC Lillie. I'm going to fail! Lillie has a high flinch rate and faster boosting to offenses (kinda)! But listen. Jasmine has serious utility. MGR9 and Mind Games 4 on Absorb is huge for a fairly slow pair. Flash Cannon with On a Roll 9 and two MGRs can be used on teams with faster allies and some speed boosting. She has Safety Net naturally, which makes her an excellent EX choice. All Ramped Up at 3/5 gives her the ability to, in two turns, +4 Sp Atk, +6 Sp Def, and +3 crit Jasmine gives the more important crit rate faster, and compresses bulk in Sp Def into the same role. With X Regen All, she approximates Lillie's passive healing. Oh, and she has built-in Vigilance, so her lucky skill is basically free money. Jasmine is excellent, and I've personally found better use for her than Lillie. Both are excellent choices, but my preference will always be for Jasmine.
Final Thoughts SC Zinnia and SC Steven are the incredibly obvious picks for these. If you don't have either, I strongly recommend the pickup if you have the gems. Zinnia is legitimately my favorite pair of the year, so I'd recommend her over SC Steven, but Steven has objectively better utility for cheaper.
Provided you have those, it's trickier. In set A, it's legitimately a free for all. If you like Zones, Ingo is a good pick, while the other three are your choice between whichever offensive type you need most. In set B, Lillie or Jasmine are top priority as supports. Both are excellent. Shauna's ranked below them because she's got it fairly rough, but it's a lot better off than Sonia or Guzma, who are pretty niche.
1 note · View note
m0l0t0vg1rl · 8 months
Text
@nerdplay asked ❝𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙰𝚍𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝙷𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎𝚋𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝙵𝚒𝚗𝚗, 𝙳𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚊, 𝙹𝚊𝚗𝚎 𝙴𝚢𝚛𝚎, 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝 𝙶𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚗❞
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn: Has your muse ever felt torn between what their society / culture expects from them and their moral values? What did they decide to do about it?
In a way, Millie has definitely felt like she has been torn between her moral values and what society expects from her. Notably with the law suit that she brought against Antwan, being a woman in the video game industry is difficult to say the least; being a woman going against a man is worse. But being a woman fighting for an independent game against a large cooperation run by a man? Oof. She persevered though and ultimately proved that the code she created (with Keys) was being used fraudulently.
Dracula: What is your muse’s opinion on the morbid and the macabre? Do they feel a fascination / connection to these things, or an aversion? Tell us why.
Millie is definitely fascinated with the morbid and macabre. She sat and watched classic Doctor Who reruns every Saturday night with her father; even if the CGI was god awful. And then when it came back in 2005 continued to do so. It's where her fascination began, her favorite movie of all time is The Evil Dead; and her favorite game series is Silent Hill. The reason why she holds those medias so near and dear to her is because in every other aspect of her life, her family forced the belief on her that her good wasn't good enough and she needed to be the best. But, those Saturday nights with her dad when she was younger, provided a brief time where they could connect.
Jane Eyre: Has your muse ever experienced rejection, abuse, or abandonment at the hands of a loved one? How did they cope with the betrayal?
Short answer; yes. Lmao. She didn't cope very well to say the least. Keys was the first person to actually believe in her for who she was. To then have him turn against her hurt. Especially when she thought that they were both on the same page; with being so passionate about Life Itself was crushing. But to lose her best friend on top of that? Yikes.
The Secret Garden: Does your muse enjoy the outdoors? Do they experience a connection or fascination with nature?
She definitely likes the outdoors! It provides her with a sense of escapism. As we're aware, Millie loves being on a swing; it provides her with comfort. Her bedding, features flowers and hummingbirds. She also owns several plants, and if Millie could have her way she'd definitely own more.
1 note · View note
memorylcst · 10 months
Text
In having to rewrite the twin’s verses for pretty much everything I’m reminded as to why their Fates verse is actually one of my favorites for them, specifically Marc.  I mean, don’t get me wrong I love my twins regardless, but how they develop in the Fates verse is incredibly different from how they develop in every other verse because they’re separated from the start rather than being together.
There’s a few reason why they turn out so differently. For example with them being in the Fates world, they’re still in a world they’re familiar with even though it turns out to be a different version of it. They also end up in a good environment with people who love and care for them despite the fact that they don’t technically belong. They also arrive and stay together in this world so there’s the security they have in each other that helps them a lot. Their Three Houses verse is similar to their FE:A verse in that respect. They arrive together, and they eventually find a good environment with people that come to care for them.
In their Fates verse, however, things are very different. The two of them end up in entirely different kingdoms an ocean apart, and it’s only Morgan who gets that stability of having people take her in during the first year they’re there. The fact that they’re separated from each other for an extended period of time in what is really a crucial point of redeveloping them selves as people turns them both into fairly different people from who they are when they’re together and in a stable environment.
Morgan is over all pretty similar but also notably a bit of a harsher person without her brother to keep her in check. She’s a little less friendly, a lot more suspicious, defensive, and protective. She loses a lot of her playfulness from being on her own as well. Once she’s back together with her brother she’s fiercely protective of him, and will snap at the slightest bit of ill will shown to him.
Marc has a much worse time in this world then Morgan, and it causes the biggest change in his development and personality. He has absolutely none of the confidence that he shows in his other verses, none of the playfulness or bright optimism. In fact you could go so far as to say that the Awakening verses shape him into an entirely different person. He’s so much quieter, reclusive, and honestly timid; especially if you’re from Hoshido because his experiences in that country have been awful. ( because his tactician gear look Norhian and you can’t tell me he’d be welcomed by the people while wearing that ) Instead of becoming a bright and outgoing person he becomes the opposite, and only after being with Corrin/MC’s group for an extended period of time can you even begin to see little flashes of who he could have been had he been brought into a safe and stable environment.
0 notes
oceanxveiined · 3 years
Text
She’d be the kind of person to be screaming something like ‘I’m a fucking GOD’ while simultaneously having a moderate to severe emotional breakdown tbh
#hc#//God complex + severe repressed issues is fun#;mun has spoken#//Acts like she owns her shit; that she's too damn strong to be brought down by 'some little childhod trauma'#//Is practically (1) failure away from having a complete and utter emotional detonation at all times#//Usually that manifests at sheer rage or hysteric laughter; sometimes a heaping mix of both; depending on what exactly triggered it#//Tbh; she's safest to approach when she's in a rage. Bc laughing can lower guards and gets HELLA moodswings that make it worse#//The shift from her laughing and over-performing lightheartedness is so startling; even to those who've seen it time and again#//Especially when watching her face contort back to rage right before she flings the nearest thing or her power makes a pipe or smth explode#//At least if she's outright enraged; you KNOW she's gonna throw/break shit and riot. Plus she IS a lileasier to talk out of it/appease then#//Either way; she'll still be looking to IMMEDIATELY wreck whatever set her off; be it a failed project or even a person#//It's Not Good. And it's notably worse when it's a person she 'loses to'; especially considering her upbringing#//You know it's BAD if she ends up sobbing/just crying at some point through. Bc she just LOATHES showing vulnerability like that#//And so she's GOT to regain some sense of control. Destroying anything and everything that broke her composure is her best bet; she feels#//Which ofc end up making things WORSE if she doesn't succeed; for her emotional state and anybody who comes across her then#//Bc she WILL take out her emotional issues on them and claim that as her 'win' to calm down; whether they were even involved or not#//She won't care; she'll just be so desperate and do whatever it takes to seek a scapegoat to erase her failure from her mind#//I guess it's not even exclusive to that time tbh. Her picking and choosing a scapegoat definitely at its worst when she cries#//But it happens when she's angry or hysterical too. There's just less of a chance of her snapping out of it when she's in tears#//And there's more of a chance of her doing someone REAL irreversible if she's in tears. It's like she needs to ERASE anyone and everyone#who's seen her cry. She will not stop at just beating them down or wounding. She WILL be out for blood for real#//Idk; watched Azula's breakdown and it Resonated enough to prompt a hc#//Only got to explore this aspect of her character once awhile back with a friend#//She doesn't actually feel remorse for what she does during a breakdown; no matter who she's hurt. Even if she's TOLD what she did#//'They were just taking a chance at an open shot at me while I was VULNERABLE; weren't they? Serves them fucking right for trying'#//She'll never be convinced otherwise; even if the person was genuinely trying to help. She can never trust that would ever be true#//Definitely owes all this to her mother. Can't have a healthy coping much less a sense of morality when the most influential person didn't#//And she's too damn proud to even START to change. Someone's gotta have a real BIG impact on her to get her to even CONSIDER it#//Mostly notable in her descendants/bnha aus. And those are verses where she's with like-minded folks; so there's ENABLING too#//But ye. Patience is key with her. Also reassurance that failure isn't the end for her. Bc that's the mainreason why she explodes like this
9 notes · View notes
ladylynse · 2 years
Note
Instead of Jazz or Danny; what if Jack, Madeline, and Vlad when to Hogwarts in the same year as Harry. Imagine Harry Potter but with Jack and Maddy being just as eccentric as they are normally while Vlad is their overly ambitious third wheel/partner in crime.
It's fun to think about, Anon!
I'll admit I personally would have difficulty writing that without changing the circumstances of Jack, Maddie, and Vlad, though. I gave Jazz a reason to go to Hogwarts, but I'm not sure if I could come up with three half-decent excuses for three Americans to go to Hogwarts as opposed to a magic school closer to home.
Maybe Maddie has family in Ireland and is sent to live with them when she shows promise of magic, so the people back home don't talk, or maybe her family feels it's safer that she lives with relatives who understand. Maybe Jack's family is a terrible one which disowns him at the first sign of magic--magic! in their own family! (extra scandalous because of the witch-hunting in the past)--and the only people who'll consider taking care of him are similar black sheep, or maybe it's determined that it's safer for him to attend school out-of-country so that no family--or those in contact with the family--are able to track him to the magic schools there. I never imagined Vlad's family having the money to send him out-of-country to school--I always think of him as struggling to make ends meet and putting on this great show so no one knows he barely has two cents to rub together--and I doubt there's a thing with competing scholarships for kids; you'd have to show incredible promise to be scouted for something like that, especially out of country.
Arguably, it's easier to take them out of their canon backgrounds and transplant them to England, but then you lose some of who they are, and they become a little less of themselves and more stand-ins with their names and less of their character quirks.
Some people are fine suspending disbelief on that front, though, so if you skip straight to them attending Hogwarts, Jack would probably have a similar reputation to Seamus when it comes to blowing things up. He'd tinker with things to try to get muggle technology to work at Hogwarts, and that would catch Maddie's interest, and from there, Vlad's. If any of them walked into this with a fascination with ghosts, you can bet they'd question the Hogwarts ghosts and learn as much about them as they possibly could. (Maddie might take point on that, with Vlad offering to help, while Jack keeps building things that shouldn't function but sometimes do, albeit rarely in the intended way.) Vlad might be the first one to find the Room of Requirement of the three, assuming one of the ghosts don't tell them about it. It is...odd...that students would have such a good relationship with the ghosts, Peeves included. (He likes Jack's explosions.)
I don't think they'd all be in the same House, and the fact that they develop such a strong inter-House relationship would be notable. Friendships outside of one's own House aren't unheard of, but they are rare, and for these three to be inseparable, well, it's a unity that's not often seen. (Strived for on paper? Yes. Seen in practice? Considerably less so.)
Essentially, Harry, Ron, and Hermione wouldn't be the only troublemaking trio. Staff opinion would be split on who's worse, and some would state their opinion with considerably more affection in their voice than others would.
(other musings)
26 notes · View notes
lovedinapastlife · 3 years
Text
Rec List
Hey. It’s me. Sunlit Garden on AO3. If you would like to find a bughead fic, beta, be long-term groomed with positive feedback and helpfulness, then have your self-confidence chipped away, be isolated from other support systems, be negged, insulted, and emotionally harassed/toyed with to output to her idea of perfection -- or find someone who did this to others and will most likely weasel their way into doing it again -- I recommend none other than jandjsalmon, the gal who runs theblueandgoldoffice - a handy fic-finding website.
Tumblr media
I made a prior post about my personal experience but apparently not everyone knew it was her because I didn’t name her specifically. Hopefully, this is the last post I’ll ever make about her. A lot of wonderful people reached out with similar experiences or sympathy but I’ve also seen some continue to interact with her or rec her as someone to follow. Now, I’m putting it in the tags. Her name is out there. If I see her on rec lists, at least I know the info is out there that she abused me and others and whoever posted didn’t want to deal with having to deal with her bullshit of her harassing them or they think I’m a liar. I have nothing to lose in this fandom or to gain by outing her. I’m doing it because I don’t want her to be introduced to new waves of authors/readers/people will trust her without protecting themselves or doing something to protect others. Unfortunately, me and the victims I talked to did not feel comfortable sharing how much she hurt us with each other until she’d done a fair amount of damage, and we were all trying to make it work with her until we hit a breaking point.
As a reminder... this is just a potential scenario based on past experience.
If you do become mutuals, and she thinks you have an ounce of fandom fame or MIGHT post things she likes if she bugs you enough, she might make you aesthetics, reblog, comment, buddy up to your friends to get closer to you, find out and exploit your insecurities or mental illness, notably withdraw support to prove a point if you like something she doesn’t or even show love for another person who doesn’t love her, keep records of your convos, show them to other people, vague post about you (sometimes even going so far as to message you without you even asking to make sure you know ‘oh it wasn’t about you’ to rub salt in that wound), let her husband talk shit about and to you even when on good terms with her, and try to get involved in your personal life to be your (only) best friend and support system... only to tell you you are nothing without her, people rely on her for recs and she can turn the tides on fandom favorites, you should not write original works because original romance is “disgusting” YA is “immature” and no one likes your work and your mind is too fucked up to be productive without her. No one will love you or have time for you like her.
She will insist you include scenes even if you don’t want them there, then try to claim she helped write your fic in the comments of it when all she did was tell you to add something you already wrote and deleted back in, though she did comment on the doc and talk through your million ideas and pick her favorite OF YOUR OWN IDEAS and help with grammar. She will also tell you at least one of your fics is disgusting and berate you to the point of not wanting to post it, especially if it shows Betty even slightly interested in someone besides Jughead at some point in her life, claiming “that’s not her!” but OOC or Jughead with past/current partners is no problem... and she will be very apologetic to have to tell you and make you feel bad, but brag in DMs of her friends that she “made you change your mind” and “taught you how to think” if you eventually cave and adjust something. Conversations become drags where you agree with what she says just to avoid confrontations and meltdowns sometimes.
If you talk to her and try to rebuild your friendship or set boundaries, she will either lash out or apologize and be good for a few days until she can find a reason to turn on you again. When you distance yourself for protection or make new friends, she will harass you in DMs asking why you unfollowed (even if it’s a tumblr glitch) or followed so and so, why you did or didn’t like something, tell you how awful everyone except her is, and try to get you to talk shit about your own friends when you know she’s talking shit about you, too.
Oh and if you compliment her on something you’re considered good at that she’s insecure about (prompted or unprompted), be prepared to be called a fake liar and a judgmental bitch in general for having an opinion -- yes, even if it’s positive, so imagine how fun it was to disagree on something neither of us even made.
She is not a neutral party when it comes to abuse and harassments either. Despite being very anti-cheating, she stoutly defends the Sprouse brothers despite multiple women and outlets coming forward claiming they cheated on or abused their partners, claiming the sources are “crazy” or “jealous” or “unprofessional.” I have some pretty ironic in retrospect screenshots someone sent me of some of her rants but I won’t post them publicly here. What Jandy told me of her former victims was that they blocked her for no reason. She was nothing but supportive of them and they got too big for their britches and had other friends and abandoned her. I’m sure she says similar if not worse things about me for calling her out and cutting her off.
So yeah, it will be uncomfortable to unfollow, ghost, and/or block her. It might even be inconvenient because of the service she provides to this fandom. But please keep in mind that even the slight fear/dread of her shadow-banning or harassing you is a sign that she’s affected you, too.
If you really miss that one extra comment per chapter, hit me up. I’ve got a lot going on but I’ll make an exception for people who need that extra support as long as I can. For additional support, please see local and online organizations to talk to a professional or volunteer trained to help with emotional abuse, toxicity, depressive, or anxious thoughts like therealdepressionproject. Good luck and have a wonderful day.
70 notes · View notes
Note
If you are accepting prompts--how about Sansa and Jon being on opposite sides of a political contest? Prime Minister Rhaegar Targaryen is forced to call a referendum for Northern independence, as demanded by the Northern Nationalists party. He is campaigning in the North for a United Westeros, taking his second wife Lyanna Stark and their son Jon along, toshow how hollow all talk if Northern independence is. However, this means that Jon keeps running into his Stark cousins, particularly Sansa Stark, who accompanies her parents to every debate and campaign rally...
I've been sitting on this for a while (and yes, I do see all the anon prompts, I promise!) and I've sort of been writing this on and off since I got it. The thing is, I have no point of reference for these politics, I'm assuming you wanted something like the Scottish independence movement, which I have almost no knowledge of as I am a dumb American who can barely handle American politics without spiraling into anxiety and depression. So, I've sort of talked around the specifics and hopefully I haven't gotten anything too crazy wrong.
Also, you mention his Stark cousins, but... well, I cannot do modern incest. I can handle them being cousins in olden times where it was acceptable & common (I can't even handle the sibling incest aspect in any time period), but I was writing this modern and that's a hard nope for me. I know it's a fairly predominant part of this fandom and if it's your thing, absolutely have at it! There is no kink shaming in this house. It's just not for me and I couldn't write it, sorry!
Also, as usual, this turned out longer than I intended since these are supposed to be drabbles mostly. But 'drabbles' for me always end up like 2k words
.
Jon sits in the window seat of the jet, headphones on and turned up. Somewhere behind him, he knows his parents are sitting, likely talking strategy. He knows dad wants him to join in, but Jon's in no mood to talk politics. It's what got him in this situation to begin with.
That stupid reporter. Jon's stupid response.
Jon! How do you feel about Northern Independence?
I say let them.
It's what he believes, honestly – if the North wants independence, why not? The rest of the SK treats them like shit anyway, why not let them break off, like Dorne did? It's not a naming issue – they're still called the Seven Kingdoms despite losing Dorne decades ago, so what if they're technically only six now? Jon knows it's about more than that – it's economics and politics and... well, pride. The SK can't lose another piece of their kingdom – nevermind that piece has been conquered and beaten down multiple times over hundreds of years. Northern Independence isn't a new concept – it's just been met with military resistance every time and stamped out. But they aren't in the middle ages anymore.
For a moment he turns his head to look behind him – to see mom with her head bowed in conversation with dad and something ugly twists in Jon's stomach.
He knows dad only married mom because she got pregnant – because his political career was just taking off and a mistress and bastard would have ruined him. And mom, she'd been so young, she's convinced herself he married her for love. Jon swears that mom used to be different. She used to argue with Rhaegar all the time about politics, he even remembers her bringing up Northern Independence when Jon was just a kid. But over the years she's had to play the perfect wife for him and somewhere along the way it just... stuck. Mom isn't his mom anymore. No, mom is what Rhaegar's political advisors want her to be.
So even though Jon had wanted to protest this trip, there's also a part of him desperately clinging to the hope that when they get North, mom will snap out of it. When she's home, maybe she'll be his mom again.
Especially since the leader of the opposition is an old friend of hers.
Ned Stark.
Dad doesn't react to much, he's a politician to his core, so seeing him get riled anytime Ned Stark is on TV is notable. In fact, there's a rebellious part of Jon that already likes Ned Stark simply for the fact that dad hates him so much. There's more to like than just that, Jon knows – Ned Stark seems like one of those politicians that's doing the job because they want to make a difference. They're rare, nowadays, but Jon's been surrounded by politicians his whole life and he can spot the do-gooders from a mile away.
He thinks it's partly why dad hates it – Ned Stark doesn't use the same underhanded tactics Rhaegar's used to, and from everything Jon's heard, there's nothing to use against Ned. The only skeleton dad's advisors had ever found tucked away in Ned Stark's closet had been that his wife, Catelyn, had originally dated his older brother Brandon, who died in a car accident. They'd begun dating and married shortly after - a minor scandal that hadn't gained any traction, considering they've been married for over twenty years with five children.
Dad was hoping to get somewhere with the youngest daughter, Arya, who always seemed more wild than the rest of her siblings (except maybe the youngest, Rickon). The problem is that she's never done anything really wrong and the North loves her. The oldest son Robb is as perfect a son as any politician could hope for and Jon sometimes wonders if dad would rather have Robb than Jon.
The other two sons are still fairly young and going after them would only make dad look like the bad guy. Then there's Sansa.
Jon remembers her from growing up – not that he'd ever met her, but they're both kids of prominent politicians and he's seen her in photos since she was old enough to walk. A proper lady, he remembers even the southern press naming her. Perfect, just like her older brother.
A hand on his shoulder jolts him out of his thoughts and he turns to see mom, who motions at him to take off his headphones.
“We're landing in a half hour and your father would like to go over your role,” she tells him with a perfect, bland smile. (She hasn't been his mother for a very long time.)
“I know my role,” he says and he can't help the bitter tone to his voice. “Stay quite, don't talk to the press. Pretty easy to remember.”
“And yet you still managed to nearly undermine my entire campaign with one flippant remark,” dad's voice calls over from his seat, low and smooth, though Jon absolutely hears the annoyance underneath it.
“Oh, he's just a child,” mom says, trying to play the peacekeeper like she always does.
“He's twenty, he's hardly a child,” dad starts, but Jon doesn't listen to the rest. He pulls his headphones back over his ears and looks back out the window and tries to pretend he's anywhere else.
By the time they reach Winterfell Castle, Jon is in a bad mood.
Not that he hadn't been before, but he's not allowed his headphones in the limo and so he'd had to listen to dad talk nonstop about his two favorite topics: Jon's failure as a son and how much he hates Ned Stark. And the way mom doesn't even try to defend Ned Stark like she used to infuriates Jon even more.
Jon hates his tuxedo and he hates that they barely had any time between landing and having to get ready for this dinner and he hates that he's going to have to smile and shake hands with a bunch of people who hate him on principle, simply for who his father is. For what his father represents.
When he does step out of the limo, he ignores every photographer and reporter that shouts his name, eager to get any sort of scandal out of him.
He doesn't blame them for this, he's given them enough over the years – not just his apparent support of Northern Independence, but everything else he's done to gain his notoriety. His reputation as a heartbreaker and a playboy that's mostly over-exaggerated, that time he punched a teacher (though to be fair, Thorne deserved it)... Teenage rebellion, they'd written it off as, but he's no longer a teenager and he knows he should grow up and stop doing things to piss off his father at some point.
(His favorite one had been sleeping with that investigative journalist when he was seventeen. She'd been older than him by a good few years and he'd known she was using him to write an article, but he was using her just as much to infuriate his father. His only true regret is that Ygritte's article hadn't done any real lasting damage to Rhaegar's reputation.)
Inside, there aren't any reporters but there are politicians everywhere and that's worse. He does the bare minimum to not cause an issue – he shakes hands and says hello, though he refuses to smile while doing it. They already hate him for being Rhaegar Targaryen's son. They already hate him for being Northern-traitor Lyanna Snow's son.
He keeps an eye on mom to see how she's doing and his heart twists painfully in his chest when he sees her. She has a bright smile on her face and anyone who didn't know her would think she's fine, but Jon can see how pale she is under her makeup. This is the first time she's been back in the North since she married dad and he has a sudden, sharp pang of hatred for Rhaegar – for getting her pregnant, for marrying her, for never letting her go back. For turning her into this.
He can tell the moment Ned Stark enters the room because mom freezes. And sure enough, there he is – beautiful wife at his side, the three adult children with him. Robb, Sansa, Arya. Jon's eyes scan over them – Robb with his perfect hair and smile, an easy way about him that's always come through even on camera. Sansa standing poised and almost too beautiful to believe – Jon's only ever seen her on film and somehow she's even more unreal in person. Arya, who by all accounts hates politics as much as Jon does, stands firmly by her family and Jon gets the sense she only hates the system, not her dad. Not like Jon.
As Jon scans the room, he can see other families here that he recognizes – the Greyjoys, including Robb Stark's best friend Theon. The Manderlys, the Karstarks, the Ryswells, the Boltons, the Mormonts. More families than Jon cares to remember.
There's a sense of someone behind him and he turns just enough to see that dad has come up to stand next to him. For a moment, dad just stands there before turning his head ever so slightly and bringing his mouth close to Jon's ear and he says so low Jon can barely even hear it - “if you do anything to embarrass me tonight, there will be consequences. If you do anything that makes it seem like you support this pathetic independence movement, there will be consequences. Do you understand me?”
Jon feels blind rage that winds so hot in his chest it makes him shake and his vision narrow. He has to close his eyes and take a deep breath before he can answer, and he grits out, “of course.” Dad nods and moves away, putting on his best politician smile as he goes to greet Howland Reed.
Mom shoots him a concerned look, but Jon ignores her. He can feel it building in him – that rebelliousness the press likes to talk about so much. He wants to hurt Rhaegar. For everything – for his mother, for all the people dad's stepped on and hurt. He wants to embarrass him, consequences be damned.
Just as he's thinking this, his eyes catch on copper hair and bright blue eyes.
Sansa Stark.
Darling of the press. Perfect Northern princess.
It takes root in his mind, against his better judgment. What would make Rhaegar more furious than an affair between his son and the daughter of Ned Stark?
Jon can't imagine Sansa would be amenable to the suggestion, not like Ygritte had been – there is no mutually beneficial agreement here. She would never agree to do something that might embarrass her father (and once again, Jon is reminded of the, pun intended, stark difference between his relationship with his father and the Stark children's relationship with Ned. Jon has never even met them in person and he knows this).
So he can't approach her with any sort of offer or plan. No, he'd have to pretend it was real.
He's going to have to seduce Sansa Stark.
97 notes · View notes
ghostietea · 3 years
Text
On Tohru and Akito: a long overdue analysis
As some may know, Tohru Honda and Akito Sohma from the manga Fruits Basket are pretty much my all time favorite protagonist/antagonist pair. They just work incredibly well as thematic pieces and driving forces of the story in relation to eachother. And beyond even the surface level they have a rich and layered goldmine of parallels that make them fascinating to think about. While it may make many a newbie raise an eyebrow, I think this is a fact that is to some level pretty widely acknowledged in the fandom proper. However, there is another level of their relationship that is often mostly left out of analytical conversations about them and their parallels: their eventual friendship. Something which, partly due to screentime, is often somewhat simplified down and misinterpreted. Which I think is a shame because, when you look at it, their eleventh hour friendship is deeply interwoven with their parallels and the very thematics and ending of the story. So then, what’s really going on with the girls that stand as part of the thematic core of Furuba? Beyond (most of, true analytical objectivity is impossible in interpretation) my personal sentimental feelings, let’s talk Akito and Tohru: their parallels, relationship, and role in the story overal. Read more present, this is going to be a long one but I hope you stick around 😊
One facet of Akito and Tohru’s role in relationship to eachother that I think is both interesting and imperative to understanding their purpose is their nature as eachother’s foils, especially their parallels. See, the two girls are both opposite and the same. Takaya sets them up as foils before we even properly meet Akito, as you can see in these panels: 
Tumblr media
However, their foil relationship becomes a lot more intriguing once their similarities become more apparent later in the story. Just think about it: two girls with boy’s names whose fathers died when they were young, leaving them alone with their mothers, who both developed behavior that, according to the environment that they grew up in, would keep them from being abandoned. Akito, coming from the cultish Sohma clan where she was treated as a God to the point that she thinks she can do no wrong and has tied all of her self worth to the role, plays the part of a male ruler who must uphold tradition and keep the zodiac with her by any means. Akito is terrified of being abandoned, especially since she has no idea how to have relationships outside of the context of the bond, only exacerbated by the fact that Ren, one of the only people that openly questions her role, has constantly told her that she’s useless and will be abandoned. This is something that informs all of her (many, terrible) decisions and leads her to try desperately to keep the curse together, something which puts her in direct conflict with Tohru, who actually wants the curse broken in part so that she won’t be abandoned. Tohru may not be as obvious with her abandonment issues as miss screeches-at-people-not-to-leave-her, but they still inform a good deal of her character. Like Akito, she develops behavior around the time of her father’s passing to try to keep herself from being abandoned, mirroring her father’s proper speech because she was worried that she was losing Kyoko.  But, as she grew older in her much warmer environment, Tohru turned to kindness instead of fear to capture others, maintaining a facade of extreme positivity, politeness, and determination so as to not bother anyone. And, while she hides it, Tohru just gets worse after losing her mother. She becomes dedicated to preserving her feelings about her mother as is, refusing to move on much as Akito also refuses to move on from the curse and what her father wanted. Then comes the beach house reveal, where Tohru learns that Akito plans to take away her new family, even locking up the one most precious to her. Tohru tells herself that she’s going to break the curse for the freedom of the zodiac and cat, but she is also, in a way, doing it to keep herself from being abandoned. Later this feeling changes to become more focused on preventing the loss of Kyo himself, something which Tohru doesn’t want to admit. Tohru is a truly good and kind person and does want to help, yes, but also some part of her is doing this to keep the ones she loves by her side, understandably as she is a teen that recently lost the person she revolved her whole life around. But it comes to a point that you have to realize: Akito and Tohru are both motivated by the same thing, they just present it in wildly different ways. I don’t think that I have to explain how exactly their behavior foils eachother, the more worldly and modern Tohru acting on radical kindness and acceptance and thinking she deserves nothing while the sheltered, traditional Akito uses manipulation and fear to get what she thinks she is entitled to. It’s very apparent, but just gets even spicier in the context of how similar they are. Another parallel is in Tohru’s mom picture vs Akito’s father box, both relics of their dead and favorite parent that they are extremely protective of and treat almost like it is their deceased parent. Early in the series Tohru is seen carrying around a photo of her mom which she talks to, something which seems pretty harmless, until we consider how terrified she is every time she thinks she’s lost it, even going as far as to refer to it as if it were her mother.  Notably, it barely shows up in the second half of the series, as she reluctantly drifts away from her mom and towards Kyo. In this later part of the series, we are introduced to Akito’s box, which she (semi, it’s complicated) thinks contains her father’s soul. Akito’s box is shown in a much darker light, from how the reveal of what it us to her is framed to how cruelly she reacts when it’s being stolen. Akito’s box is to Tohru’s photo what their owners narratively are to eachother: a dark mirror.
Ok, and now for the reason that I think it was important to bring all these parallels up first: because as you cannot understand Tohru and Akito as enemies without understanding their differences, you cannot understand them as friends without knowing their similarities. While it is easy to write off Tohru reaching out to Akito as just another case of Tohru being Tohru, that does a disservice to the full picture. I’ve seen around in the fandom that a good deal of people seem to think Tohru trying to befriend her is just Tohru being overly kind and forgiving, and this is something I think ties back a bit to some early fandom misconceptions about Tohru. Bear with me for a second, this is going to be a bit of a tangent but it ties back. It’s died down some now, but in the early Furuba fandom it was very common to just think of Tohru as a pretty flat nice girl doormat character, which besides misogyny is probably partially the fault of the 01 anime, which cuts off before we get to see more of Tohru’s insecurities and tones down what we do see (also, in the case of the relationship I’m talking about, 01 ads in that God awful end confrontation that I despise for being everything that I’m about to argue the ACTUAL confrontation that I like is not). Manga Tohru is a very subtle character, she hides a lot of her feelings behind a perpetually happy front which doesn’t start to let slip until later. And, since it’s later on in the manga which went unadapted for years and is mixed in with a bunch of crazy stuff, I think Tohru’s quiet development is often somewhat overlooked. For example, early series Tohru is very well known for the speeches she gives to the zodiac when she first meets them, speeches that, importantly, always tie back to things that her mom said. Tohru’s worldview back then revolved completely around Kyoko, so it’s probably a bit of a thing that in the later story, when Tohru draws ever nearer to the realization that she must move on, she does not give her mom speeches anymore? As opposed to the early story, when it was pretty much back to back character intros, in the late story Tohru notably only gets to befriend two new Sohmas: Isuzu and Akito. Notably, she doesn’t quote her mom either time, these are both people that she can relate to on some of her more hidden issues, and she shows a more personal side of her emotions in her turning point confrontations with them than she did earlier. It is especially important to realize that, in her confrontation on the cliff, Tohru is deciding that she is willing to go against her mom. Early series Tohru was a front anyways, and is a different Tohru from the one that finally gets through to Akito. I was using it as an example, but the evolution of Tohru’s befriending confrontations will be important later. Furthermore, there is the perception of Tohru as a doormat. Listen, Tohru may be very kind and polite, but one of her defining characteristics is being very determined and strong willed when need be. This is something that is especially relevant to her interactions with Akito. From the first meeting outside the school, Tohru knows to be wary of Akito and even breaks politeness and shoves her when she senses that Akito is making Yuki uncomfortable. This sets up immediately that Tohru can and will stand up to Akito. This is driven in even farther at the beach house, when Tohru, after again physically getting between Akito and a zodiac, decides that she will directly go against all of the Sohma family’s centuries of tradition and Akito herself to break the curse.  There’s even a cute moment when, upon remembering Akito telling her not to, Tohru just decides to meddle even harder. Tohru, while polite about it, does not like Akito and puts herself in direct opposition to her. Tohru does not originally want to be Akito’s friend, or to have anything to do with her. The cliff scene is not just Tohru befriending someone because she just is over forgiving and loves everyone (an argument can be made that she still goes to easy on Akito, but it’s in line with how the narrative treats her too so that’s another conversation), there was a specific reason both that she chose to try to get through to Akito and that it actually worked. Up until their big confrontation, Tohru still thinks of Akito as a threat, and while she has gotten more information that shakes up her view of Akito, she still doesn’t understand her well enough to see her as much more than an obstacle. Then Akito barges into her yard when she’s just been rejected, crying and confessing how terrified she is of being abandoned, of things changing, and Tohru just goes still, eyes wide in shock. And she realizes: her and Akito have been afraid of the same thing the whole time.  This is when Tohru decides to try to reach out to her. Because Tohru, on a deep level, sees Akito because of their similarities.  She calls Akito out on her insecurities, and Akito reacts badly, accusing Tohru of being “dirty” and trying to condescend.  Tohru partially rebukes this, not trying to hold herself above Akito as pure and righteous, but instead confessing her own fears of abandonment and change in an attempt to empathize with Akito.
Tumblr media
At this part of the story, Tohru is fully coming into the realization that, in order to live her life, she needs to stop clinging to this idea of an “unchanging” relationship with her mom, something that scares her quite a bit. She realizes that, while she saw the flaws in Akito’s “eternity” and tried to destroy it, she had not been as perceptive with herself, clinging to that same notion. Tohru is an incredibly repressed character, especially in regards to emotions she thinks of as “dirty,” and she is showing a remarkable amount of vulnerability in this scene. Another thing to note about Tohru is that she, in her immense repression, will often process her own issues through other people. We see this throughout the story, from her showing grief over her mom by crying for Momiji and his mom to her projecting her fear of losing Kyo onto Kureno and Arisa. So then, it’s quite something to consider that the last Sohma she befriends is the one most emblematic of the issues she keeps locked up tightest? That as she’s speaking to her she’s deciding to move forward from her own fears? In a way, could accepting Akito be a symbol of Tohru accepting what she thinks are the darker parts of herself? Akito is also coming to a realization about moving on, acknowledging that the zodiac curse is coming to an end and that everything she believes is a lie, and she is absolutely distraught about it. But Tohru, in a way that nobody else does, understands Akito, and wants Akito to be her friend. Not out of pity or reverence, but a desire for solidarity. And this is the very reason why Tohru was actually able to get through to Akito. As we see with Kureno before he gets stabbed and Momiji at the beach house and when his curse breaks, it’s not like people haven’t kindly tried to get through to her before.
Tumblr media
Of course, the reason it worked for Tohru can also be partially chalked up to the fact that Akito herself has come a long ways in personal realizations to the point that there’s just some things she can’t deny anymore, but that’s not all. Akito tends to react very negatively to what she sees as condescension, she thinks people want to try to pick her apart and see how she ticks just so they can look down on her, so they can see her as lesser. She thinks Tohru is trying to condescend too at first, especially since she perceives Tohru as this holier than thou saint wannabe. Fascinatingly, Akito’s view of Tohru is incredibly similar to that early fandom idea of Tohru as an angelic mary sue, and she hates her for it. She thinks that Tohru is trying to be like this and is seen as such, and that she (Akito) is the only who can see that Tohru is wrong somehow.
Tumblr media
But Tohru rejects this notion of a pure her that both the fandom and her early self tried to project, presenting herself as flawed and human and purposefully trying to not put herself on a pedestal above Akito. She makes it very clear that she’s not trying to condescend, she is the same way (well, sorta) and she gets it. Notably, after this point Akito doesn’t accuse her of looking down on her, instead freaking out temporarily because of how much Tohru called her out before venting about her fears to her. And, while, partially due to outside circumstances, it does take Akito a bit longer to accept her offer of friendship, she legitimately manages to get through to her very soon after this point. If Tohru had tried one of her early series mom speeches on Akito, or just tried to blindly accept her without understanding, it would not have worked. Akito would have just written it off or reacted badly and left it there. But because Tohru tried to befriend Akito out of understanding as an equal it actually worked. You can’t separate Akito and Tohru’s parallels and their eventual friendship because one aspect is integral to the other.
A connected aspect of their relationship that I see talked of very little but is actually a pretty strong undercurrent is that of equality and power. To explain this, we have to look at Akito for a bit. Throughout her life, pretty much everyone around Akito has either put her on a pedestal or looked down on her. This is something that not only greatly damaged the way she thinks of herself and others, but has given her an intensely hierarchical view of relationships. We even see this notion clearly take form for her in the black paint scene, where she decides that Yuki, who she’d previously seen as the same as her, has to be lesser or else she will become useless.  From the moment Akito was born she was “God,” an existence above everyone else. Even her own father only seems to give her affection for being God, and when he dies and she takes his place as the head of the family she is just elevated even farther at an extremely young age. The only people (she thinks) she’s close to are the zodiac, and the curse itself puts an inherent power dynamic into that relationship that can only be overcome with its undoing. Akito clings to her power, to her rank in the hierarchy, all the while the very thing she desperately upholds has made her the real outsider. Akito, who does everything in the name of belonging, was always alone from the start. As Tohru points out, as long as she is above the group she cannot be a part of it.
Tumblr media
Simultaneously, and almost contradictory to the pedestalization and power dynamic aspect, Akito is extensively coddled and pitied. A lot of the older adults around her treat her almost like a crotchety, spoiled child. A child who is coddled to the point of never being given any reprimand or instruction on just how to behave like a functional human being until things have gone far too far. Then you have cases like Kureno, who seems to still see Akito like a kid, pretty much just coddles her as a job, and only stays because he pities her. This leads to a strange dual sided dynamic in multiple cases, where Akito is seen as someone’s better and has more power but is also being looked down upon in a way too. Akito has never in her life been seen and treated as an equal, so it’s pretty important when it is made clear that Tohru tries to befriend her as an equal. After all this time, Tohru, an outsider that is not under Akito’s control, who can hold her ground in a challenge against her, is finally the one to meet her on the same level. There’s this page that I adore that symbolizes this idea really nicely. It opens on a panel of Akito sitting a distance away from the zodiac who are all having fun together, a motif we’ve already seen a few times, but this time Tohru sits down right next to her.
Tumblr media
This page comes at a critical moment, when Tohru is offering her hand in friendship to Tohru, it’s Akito realization of what Tohru is trying to do. Later on, we get Akito narrating what this page was showing, which I think I just need to put in:
Tumblr media
We also see a bit of their conversation after they reunite in the hospital later, where Tohru again denies that she is better than Akito. Now, I think both the Tokyopop and Yen Press translations of this scene are a bit weird, the Tokyopop version uses the word “pretty” (confusing) while the Yen Press uses “kind” (don’t think that’s the best word). However one time I saw like a Malaysian english release in the half price books that used “pretty on the inside” and I like that best so I’ll just pretend that’s it.
Tumblr media
I think this scene is interesting because it could seem like they’re just talking about morality but that’s not it. This is, once again, Tohru pretty explicitly trying to stop the creation of any sort of hierarchy between her and Akito. It’s not about right or wrong, Tohru know very well that Akito’s done things wrong and actively worked to stop her, it’s about not wanting them to be put on some sort of different rank based on morality and Tohru understanding Akito enough to empathize with the fact that (wrong or no) Akito was really hurt by Tohru and they won’t get anywhere if they don’t acknowledge that. Furthermore, I’ve already talked a bit about it already, but I think the way that Tohru asserts that she gets what Akito’s feeling and thinks she herself is “dirty” during their confrontation is relevant here too. She is, again, presenting herself as someone on the same level who understands Akito and is not being nice out of pity. This then leads to the page I talked about before which is again, Akito realizing this! This is a huge moment for her, someone who has had all of her relationships messed up by inequality and has no idea how to have a normal relationship, who is having a breakdown because she thinks that because of this it’s too late for anyone to love her, to have someone who understands her and wants to meet her on the same level. Even if she tries to deny it and shift blame, at this point Akito has realized that the zodiac bond is not what she thought and that she has been acting horribly. The groundwork is already there for Akito to have a change of heart, especially considering that a lot of her horribleness stems from legitimate extreme ignorance and her obsession with the bond so once she’s snapped out of that… The main thing that’s holding her back past that is that she’s panicking and cannot see a way forward. So then when there’s someone who actually gets where she’s coming from instead of just tolerating her and is offering her the sort of friendship that she’s never gotten to have of course she’d go for it! Tohru Honda has proven Akito wrong in ever way and, in the end, she even proves her wrong on her greatest fear: that she can only be wanted because she’s God. Because of Akito’s specific issues, nothing could have been more powerful for her than someone coming to her as an equal. Again, the piece about why Tohru could get through to her. It just wouldn’t be the same if Tohru didn’t have a reason to want Akito around or if she somehow saw Akito as below her, the very core of their relationship is the destruction of hierarchies. From the beginning Tohru has been trying to destroy the hierarchy of the zodiac, and when it comes down to it she does not take Akito’s spot at the top, but decides to stand beside her and the zodiac instead. Early in the series we see Akito trying to have some power over Tohru through fear, but when the time comes and Akito is pretty much defeated Tohru does not take power as the victor, hoping that Akito joins her instead of being somehow defeated. And at the end of it all this works, and Akito dissolves the zodiac and with it most of her power and her godhood of her own accord. 
Despite their relative lack of page time, Tohru and Akito’s relationship has always been something that I come back to. Sure, a lot of that is just sentiment as they meant a lot to me when I was younger, but I think there’s something there. They work amazingly as protagonist and antagonist, contrasting nicely and working as symbols of both sides of the thematic conflict. There’s a palpable tension to their early interactions that makes you both scared and interested to see what happens when these two inevitably have to go head to head. But then, as the story goes on, it seems more and more like they are a tragedy, so similar yet on different sides of the story, fated to have one of them stuck with an unhappy ending brought on by the other.
Tumblr media
But, even as dark as it gets, that wouldn’t really be Fruits Basket, would it? In the end, Tohru and Akito’s similarities win out, not their differences. I think it would have been so easy to just make this a story where the sweet heroine “saves” the villain just because, but that is so blatantly not what’s going on. Tohru simply sees herself in Akito, she’s not trying to somehow fix her and nor should she have to, she just wants to be her friend. And then the two manage to overcome their driving fear of moving on, forging new bonds and inspired by their interaction with the other. It’s not like Tohru somehow fixes Akito’s problems, Akito has to do things herself and in fact independence is a big theme of her endgame arc. Tohru simply offered her friendship, and that was enough. There’s a distinction to be made between how Tohru inspires Akito and Tohru somehow “saving” her, because Akito very much has to learn to save herself in the end after a lifetime of pushing her issues onto others. And, as a side note, all this is sort of why it bugs me when people act like Tohru would be like a mom to Akito. First off, Tohru shouldn’t have to be the mom to everyone. And, kind as she is, Tohru is also not a Kureno, she sees and interacts with Akito in a completely different way and their relationships with Akito are one of the big points were Tohru and Kureno differ. Second off, Akito has spent her life coddled and clinging onto anything that she can hold onto as a resemblance of parental affection to a toxic degree. Part of her arc is that she needs to grow out of this, become more independent, and have more balanced relationships. Akito at this point does not want or need to make a mommy figure out of one of her peers, and doing so may in fact be regressive. Sure, she will definitely need a level of guidance going forward, but it would be more beneficial for her to learn from example and under more of a friendly, balanced context coming from multiple people, not one person holding her hand. For all the reasons I’ve gone over in this entire post, I think it is much more meaningful for Akito to have Tohru as what she was canonically presented as in text: someone who sees her as an equal. The whole point of their relationship is, again, the defiance of hierarchies, something which I think is often sorely overlooked even though it is very openly there in text. And that, in part, is why I think their relationship is so powerful to me. Beyond hero and villain, right or wrong, or any story roles, it’s about two girls finding solidarity and friendship on a very personal, human level. This is Akito for the first time being seen not as this distant, untouchable male deity or some pitiful being, but as a flawed, hurt human girl who is nonetheless capable of change and being loved. This is Tohru coming out of hiding, presenting her flawed, terrified human self to someone she saw as an enemy. Fruits basket is, in part, a story about friendship and defeating systems of power and abuse. Even in a messy third act that muddles its themes at times by weighing character endings too heavily on het romantic love, especially in regards to the women (Hello Rin, Machi, Uo, ect.), Tohru and Akito stand out as a friendship that is given a huge amount of narrative weight. It just feels nice that, in a story that often focused on the power of relationships between women only to ditch all that and focus primarily on their relationships with men, these two girls are one of the driving forces of the endgame. The curse didn’t get broken by romantic love, but by the friendships everyone made along the way, including Tohru and Akito. Tohru has gotten it to this point, and now Akito just needs to bring it to a close and finally end things. At the very beggining, before this all started, all the cat wanted was for the God was to move forward and live as a person among the humans, and, finally, a long time later that wish was granted. The tale of the zodiac gets its happy ending not by a villain being defeated, but by the power of friendship and solidarity between women.
Tumblr media
256 notes · View notes
inamindfarfaraway · 3 years
Text
Weather Symbolism Analysis in Frozen the Musical* Because I’ve Been Listening to the Soundtrack Again and I Respect Good Lyricists
*Not the movie, though some of this applies there too. The musical basically took all the movie’s lyrical motifs and themes and expanded on them.
Anna’s mother calls her “[her] sunshine” in the dialogue of “Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?”. That little detail sent me spiralling into a musical-wide analysis. Anna’s personality is definitely a ball of sunshine, especially as a child. But it also ties into the narrative symbolism of the sun and light representing happiness; love; safety; and clarity and understanding in relationships and how people are perceived (as in, it’s illuminating). In the introductory song “Let the Sun Shine On”, everyone in Arendelle - and specifically the royal family - is content, secure in their role in life and feels loved, and the song is brimming with language about light and warmth. Hence the title. Anna gets many lines and the better part of a chorus of this song to herself, being arguably the happiest character.
Let the sun shine on
Let our hearts be light
Like this perfect, happy, shiny summer day
She continues to be the main embodiment and ambassador of these ideas throughout the story. In “For the First Time in Forever”, she refers to the celebration bringing people she could connect with (including Elsa) and hopefully ‘shedding light’ on what Elsa is really like to her and their subjects with
There’ll be magic, there’ll be light
and when reaching out to Elsa in the reprise, she says,
We can make the sun shine bright
However, other characters use the theme too. Olaf is the living embodiment of it, and Anna and Elsa’s close childhood relationship. He’s constantly positive and the one to explain the definition of love to Anna: “putting someone else’s needs before yours.” And he of course inherently loves summer and warmth. From “In Summer”:
I’ll finally see a summer breeze
Blow away a winter storm
That brings us to the symbolism of storms and cold weather. Though briefly mentioned in “Let the Sun Shine On”,
Together we can keep the storm at bay
what storms represent is really established when one snuffs out what’s left of the sisters’ sunny childhood by killing their parents. If someone references cold and/or a storm, it’s related to fear; anxiety; grief; depression; loneliness; and emotional disconnection. Whereas sunlight helps you see, the chaos and darkness of a storm cloud (heh) your judgment and understanding. This is associated mainly with Elsa, in contrast to Anna’s sun and heat motif.
“Let It Go” is notable because it’s the only song that uses storms and cold in a good sense.
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway
Both lines have a positive, confident tone, but they show she isn’t actually dealing with her trauma and anxiety, she’s just too caught up in the sudden rush of joy and freedom to be totally consumed by them right now, and since her frame of reference is ‘I feel terrible all the time and will feel dramatically more terrible at the sightest trigger’ that seems close enough to perfect. The storm, with its biting regrets and icy fear, is still there and maybe even worse as she recklessly allows it to “rage on”, she’s just no longer actively “bothered” by it at the moment. For all her throwing away of gloves and cloaks and crowns, she is neither free nor moving on. To quote her own words to Anna during their reunion at the ice palace, she’s
Standing frozen
That’s the opposite of moving on, Elsa! It isn’t like storms mean good things in relation to Elsa alone because of her ice powers either, as she speaks of them in the traditional negative sense all the time. In “For the First Time in Forever (Reprise)” there’s
No escape from the storm inside of me
In its replacement “I Can’t Lose You” there’s
Can’t you see I’m the storm, and you make it worse?
Elsa has been in such a dark place for so long she can no longer disentangle her identity from the ‘storm’ of anxiety bombarding her mental health, thinking it’s either in her or is her. A very different interpretation of her declaration back in “Let It Go” that
I am one with the wind and sky
In the wider context of storm symbolism, that line also reveals/foreshadows the misguided and unsustainable nature of her freedom. She cannot see any part of herself that isn’t supposedly dangerous, harmful or burdensome. That’s… that’s just sad. In “Monster”, a new peak of depression and self-hatred to the point she verbally contemplates suicide to protect her sister and people from the destructive consequences of her mental illness (Disney princesses, everyone!), “the storm” comes up a lot:
The storm is awake
I’ve started a storm
Gotta stop it somehow
And will that take the storm away
Or only make it grow?
Mother, what if after I’m gone
The cold gets colder and the storm rages on?
These are all referring to the actual, physical blizzard her powers have created, but it’s evident her internal landscape is being equally ravaged. That’s why there is an external storm in the first place, after all. Her lines also contain uses of the sun and light in the context found elsewhere, in “For the First Time in Forever (Reprise)”,
Go enjoy the sun, and open up the gates
“Monster”,
I have to stay alive
To fix what I’ve done
Save the world from myself
And bring back the sun
and even “Let It Go” itself.
And I’ll rise like the break of dawn
Here I stand, in the light of day
These last two lines show how Elsa feels she is reclaiming the liberty and bliss of her childhood. That’s why she finally rebuilds Olaf the snowman and puts so much of herself into him he comes to life, made of everything the young sisters said he would be in “Little Bit of You”. So she does understand the ‘good sun/bad storm’ dichotomy and it does apply to her. So yeah, “Let It Go” is purposefully anomalous to demonstrate the flaws of its mentality. Consider that next time you hear it, although it’s easy to get swept away by the awesome rush of Elsa’s empowerment like she did.
“Colder by the Minute” is the epitome of this symbolism. Practically the whole song is relevant, so I won’t bother quoting it all. It’s self-explanatory. It stresses the physical and emotional distance between the four characters and is probably the story’s lowest point, thus it’s also the story’s height of bad weather. It’s set in the midst of a raging blizzard that conceals lovers Kristoff and Anna from each other; Anna still being alive from Elsa and the people of Arendelle, thereby prolonging Hans’s crucial deception; and Elsa and Hans approaching Elsa to kill her from Anna and Kristoff, preventing them from helping sooner. It’s not only directly impeding the heroes’ achievement of their goals, it’s enabling the villain right at the climax of his evil plan. The storm is an antagonist! Technically it’s been antagonistic since it first started inconveniencing the kingdom, but never does the weather seem more tangibly malevolent. The citizens turn against Hans afterward because when Elsa hears that Anna is dead
the wind blew soft
And in her grief the storm stood still
allowing Anna’s sacrifice to be seen.
In “Finale/Let It Go (Reprise)” the lyrics of “Let It Go” are ‘fixed’ and rid of the toxic storm and cold imagery with lots of additional sun, light and heat.
Let the sun shine on
I take this warmth within and send it up above
Goodbye to dark and fear, let’s fill this land with light and love
Then we'll rise like the break of dawn
The fear and cold are gone
Here we stand, in the light of day
The new plural pronouns (“we” and “[let us]”) show that the song is now about the coexistence of freedom of expression and inclusion, instead of the freedom of expression through exclusion it used to be. Everyone has found a much more robust, complete, mature happiness than Elsa did in the original song (except Hans, Hans can rot in prison) where Elsa’s learned that loving herself and directly loving others are not mutually exclusive and Anna has multiple forms of true true love.
48 notes · View notes
luvlyrv · 3 years
Text
Another Dance (Duel Pt. 2) | Seulgi x F!Reader
Tumblr media
Genre: fluff, knight!au
Summary: Seulgi has taught you how to dance, but now she needs to teach you what this new feeling brewing in your chest means.
Word Count: 3k
A/N: Sorry this took a while to get out. Thank you again to my editor I always love your suggestions. I hope everything in this follow up makes sense.
Date: 5/9/21
Click here to read part one
Perhaps these last few months of your life have been the best. Despite the fact that training has been more brutal due to your nearing graduation into knighthood, every moment has felt brighter than the past several years of your life. Maybe all? You can’t remember ever waking up to a feeling like this all the time.
Yes, this feeling right here in your chest. The feeling you get when you wake up startled and in a frenzy from a dream of spending a day with Seulgi. A life with Seulgi. It’s the feeling that you get when she asks for your hand so that the two of you can make a fool of yourselves dancing. The strange way your chest seems to contract and hurt when Seulgi sneaks a smile while the commandment screams orders at you.
Since when did you feel like this? You’re not sure. Maybe it was that one night the two of you spent together weeks ago, where you finally felt confident enough to lead the dance for once. You had pulled her close with a bold move you didn’t even plan to make, making Seulgi give you a shocked look before glancing away, barely catching her soft smile. Maybe she was proud of you in that moment, you don’t know. You don’t know anything anymore besides Seulgi, besides the fact that you were hyper aware of her breath that night. Of the way her garments clung so close to skin, the rise and fall of her chest, the length of her eyelashes, the slope of her nose.
Every day you’re greeted by the sunrise, only to be anticipating its set.
Before you can spend your cherished time with Seulgi though, you had to go through the motions of your day. Time seemed to pass slowly as you sparred and trained. Nowadays though there was a lightness in your body that wasn’t there before, and your eyes had become better at reading the flowing movements of your opponents. You were ecstatic to see your improvement, likewise were the commanding officers and fellow apprentices, it seemed. Some officers urged you to continue to carry out whatever it was that you were doing to improve and to finally displace Seulgi. Meanwhile the knights-in-training were muttering among themselves about your progress and how it was done.
To say that you were happy that morning training ended would be an understatement. The second highlight of your day would be the precious half hour you spent with Seulgi during your afternoon meal. As you impatiently wait in line to be served whatever was deemed nutritious for prospecting knights, you think about how you were just a couple months ago. After spending some time with Seulgi you wanted to somehow be even closer to her, to spend time beyond the midnight dances you two shared.
When you had first decided to sit next to Seulgi instead of by your lonesome, you were uncharacteristically nervous. You were sure that if people looked carefully enough they could have noticed how your steady sword-arm shook as you held onto your tray of food. People didn’t hide their raised eyebrows at your approach, some people left the area, terrified at the thought of you possibly coming over to terrorize them.
It was a surprise when you had quietly asked if it was okay for you to seat yourself next to Seulgi. She didn’t hesitate to say yes, flashing you her crescent eyes you had unknowingly grown accustomed to. The surrounding witnesses to the sight were confused. When would you have willingly associated with anyone? Especially Seulgi, and in such a shy manner?
When you finally get your meal you walk towards the familiar table and remember your present day situation. Now that time has passed people are less wary around you and how you seemingly lack the intention to verbally abuse and berate people. In fact, when you began to take Seulgi’s advice of smiling more people seemed to… like you? It helped that you lost most of your competitive streak, instead favoring to focus on yourself and what you can do. Mostly your dancing, though, as you yearned to impress Seulgi more each and every night.
The clank of your tray against the wooden aging table alerts Seulgi of your presence. Quickly turning her head away from the person she was talking to, she opens her mouth to greet you. That was until Markus, a man who came from a noble family with notable enough skills, called out for you. You move to face the source of his voice, only to notice him uncomfortably close to your side. It was odd for him to suddenly appear when you swore you didn’t notice him on your way over.
“Hey, I was just wondering if you’d like to duel me in the afternoon? You know, since we haven’t gotten an opportunity to do so for the past couple weeks. Maybe go on a walk afterwards?” He throws you a shy, maybe even a cheeky smile. If there was one thing you knew about him it was that you’ve had much more encounters with him than you’d like recently, and that smile of his was one he’d thrown at other female trainees in the past. If anything, he was merely a passing thought.
“Sure, I don’t care.” You say in your signature neutral tone. Hoping that he’d leave you alone now, you began to turn back to Seulgi. Your movement is stopped when Markus puts his hand on your shoulder and swipes a finger across your cheek.
“You had some dirt there from practice. Just wanted to get it off.” He grins tortuously wide before excusing himself from the table. You sigh, and when you finally get to look at Seulgi she has a raised brow, her mouth forming a tight line. Not sure what to do at her sudden change of mood, you pick at your food a bit. You feel like you can’t eat anything under her intense stare.
You’re starting to feel nervous until Seulgi decides to tap on your shoulder. Glancing up from your plate you see her with a handkerchief in hand.
“I think," she pauses, "Markus made it worse, actually.” She adds before gently rubbing the dirt that became spread across your face. You scrunch your nose and eyes but a small smirk forms in affection.
“Does it really matter, though? I don’t care about how I look.”
“I think you look cuter without it. And more hygienic.”
**
After your meal came your academic and strategical studies. Your brain dulls into mush after countless hours of toiling over geography and the endless ways a person can kill someone. Although you still do well in a more scholar-like learning environment, your body greatly preferred the battlefield. You let out a sigh of happiness when you were allowed to stretch and start another round of sparring.
Keeping to your promise, you await as you lean into your training sword until Markus shows up in your vision again. He walks towards you with such unnerving confidence and a grin you think is permanently scribbled on his face.
“Are you ready, my lady?”
“Don’t patronize me.” You mumble. The two of you back away from each other to an appropriate distance before getting into your stances. Some people gather around the scene, which wasn’t uncommon for your battles. They want to make a spectacle of your fight.
When you rush forward towards Markus you get a good stab straight in his stomach. His reflexes seemed almost slow, or at least much slower than yours or Seulgi’s. He lets out a grunt, but the training armor and his natural durability keeps him on his feet. In an attempt to make you fall, he swings his sword arm directly downwards towards your back. You easily sidestep and continue a relentless sequence of parries and hard smacks against his arms and legs.
This continues on for minutes on minutes, much longer than the vast majority of your fights. Markus has proven himself to be a bad fighter, and the only reason you haven’t won yet is the fact that your sword wasn’t made to kill and the fact that Markus has stupidly good endurance. It’s hard for you to keep fighting. Not because you were lacking stamina but on account of the monotony of his moves started to bore you greatly.
Your mind wanders as you automatically parry Markus’ pathetic slashes without much thought. You recall how you have to go on a walk with Markus when he slips a slight grin, but after that you can go about your day and eventually spend the night with Seulgi. You think about how her smile looks in the moonlight, how her hair bounces as you move to a make-believe rhythm. You unconsciously put on a broad grin as you hope she teaches you something new tonight.
You’ve let your attention slip for too long though. When you get a grip on reality again, you realize that you’re now on the ground and Markus’ blade is descending on your body. Your reaction allows you to bring up your sword to his, a loud clang traveling through the air. With all your might you push back, trying to angle your sword so his would slide off and break free from contact. It seems like you may be able to fend off his weapon for a second, but he yells as he delivers all of his strength into pushing down on you.
The force is more than enough to make your sword lose contact with his. With the blade right on your throat he throws on a victorious expression and screams in happiness. The crowd around you softly murmur as they look at each other. Markus drinks in his win and he looks at everyone and then at you.
“You’ve gone soft on me, haven’t you?”
“What? What do you mean?” You try to brush the dirt off your back as you get up.
“I mean, why would you all of a sudden smile and let me win like that otherwise?” He chuckles with his words as he approaches you and places a hand on your back.
“I was just distracted.” You try to get away from him, but he gets closer and whispers in your ear.
“By me, right?” You hear a certain kind of joy and conceitedness in his voice that makes you want to vomit while simultaneously punching him.
“No. Now let's just get this walk done with so I can go shower or shoot my bow, or something.” At your words he shuffles away and uncomfortably leaves some space between the two of you as you go for a quick walk in the woods. Everybody watches as you two leave the area, and as you pass by you hear their whispers.
“…like him?”
“ …usually ruthless…why’d she let him win?”
“…was right…gone soft.”
You aren’t sure what to do about their theorizing or their mindless gossip, nor what to do with the man who was now clinging onto your side. What was usually a peaceful and quiet trail for you became loud and annoying as Markus kept trying to flirt despite your silence and lack of response to his remarks. It was hard to appreciate the beauty in the trees and forest life over the talkativeness of the man next to you. If you could, you wouldn’t have gone on a walk with him, but you felt like it was dishonorable of you to break an appointment or promise.
You think that next time you should bring Seulgi with you instead, it would be a pleasant experience then.
After what felt like a century of walking, you had finally looped around the trail and made it back to the beginning of the forest. You continue to trek forward and almost leave Markus behind, but he grips onto your waist and looks at you for a moment. The tinge of expectancy that gleamed in his eyes, and that's when you knew. You watch in a panic as he flutters his eyes and brings his lips to yours.
There’s a ringing in your ears from how hard you slap him.
“Don’t.” You say while walking away from him.
You decide that you should go to the shower to wash off his filth, then go to the archery range to practice shooting his face in your head.
**
It would be a lie to say you weren’t sore from the amount of work you forced upon your body today. As you hunker towards the barracks though, a sudden burst of energy renews the feelings in your limbs when you find Seulgi patiently awaiting you like always. The area clears out of people until it’s just you and Seulgi. She comes by your side to walk with you towards the field.
Your dance begins and you drink in the comfortable silence until Seulgi decided to speak.
“So, Markus, how do you feel about him?” There’s a sense of inquisitiveness that you haven’t heard from her before.
“Hm? He’s just a person.” She makes a face at your answer, scrunching her eyebrows as she pushes further,
“Really? You know, when I finished my practice match and walked around everybody was talking about the two of you… you know. How you’re a thing or something.”
“Just a misunderstanding.” You assert, but Seulgi seems to want to hear more.
“Do you not like him? What about anybody else? I feel like everybody is dying for your attention these days.” With the last sentence there’s a subtle shift to a sadder, even disgruntled tone in her voice. You watch as she bites her lip waiting for an answer, entranced enough to almost forget to reply. The insecurity was hard to ignore.
“I don’t really talk to anyone besides you, Seulgi, and I don’t know why people bother. Maybe they just respect my abilities and think now that I’m friendlier I’d be interested in a conversation. Also, you aren’t one to talk. You’ve had people following you around and worshipping you since day one.” Thinking about it, you can‘t ever remember a time where Seulgi didn’t have someone by her side.
Another wave of silence envelopes you as Seulgi finally nods, maybe settling with this answer. Or at least is mulling over your words. As she takes the time to think, you remember the events that happened earlier in the day and the question that had been bothering you.
“By the way, are you making me soft?”
You interrupt the dance you shared by taking a step back. You cock your head in examination. Recently it’s been hard to tell if Seulgi’s influence over you had been helpful or harmful. Especially since there were instances where you almost completely lost your focus like you did today.
“Where is this coming from?” She asks while putting on a confused smile, as if to say ‘excuse me?’.
“Well, obviously I’m more approachable now because of your advice, but now you’re getting in the way of my fighting.”
“Huh?” Seulgi is taken aback by your words and how you state them so matter-of-factly.
“Sometimes I lose focus in the middle of fights now. They accused me of becoming soft.”
“How can I possibly be at fault for that?”
“Well, it’s you that I think about. All the time.” You reach out for her hand, gently tugging it towards you and then onto your chest. “And you make my heart beat real fast. Faster than any running commandment has made us done. It kind of hurts my chest, really. Have you casted a spell on me too?”
You feel Seulgi’s hand tremble in a quake.
“Y/N, are you joking right now?”
“No, I just want to know, why do I feel like this all the time around you?” Looking at Seulgi’s face you spot how the tips of her ears turned a bright red, despite the darkness of the night. Your other hand pulls back her hair so you can examine it further. With a worried look you ask, “Oh, are you cold? Should we go back inside?” You panic a little as you see the pink had spread onto the rest of her face.
“You…” Seulgi’s breath has quickened, and she rescinds her hand from yours. You’re worried you’ve done something wrong as Seulgi refused to even look at you, instead she's staring at her feet. “You like me, stupid.” The dramatic atmosphere turns lighthearted as she laughs boisterously.
“Huh? Is that what this means?”
“Are you being serious with me?” Seulgi keeps laughing at you, much to your frustration.
“Yes! I am! I don’t understand! I’ve never felt this way before, that’s why I have to ask.” Your face lapses to a pout and that seems to encourage her to keep laughing at you.
“Hey, stop pouting!” Her laughing reduced to giggles as she walked closer to you. She brings her hands forward as they cup your face. Your knees feel weak, buckling at the warmth in her hands and the care they seemed to radiate. She finally calms down when she asks you, “Now, if you really like me then tell me," she sucks in a quick breath," would you like to kiss me right now?”
For a second you’re frozen, but soon enough you bashfully nod your head a little too hard.
Her lips reach yours and you instantly smile. The lips that you’ve stared at for hours, the ones that say the words that have moved you the most, the ones that curve adorably and ignites the dormant happiness within you. You stay that way for a moment that both felt like forever and like no time at all. Seulgi breaks away before kissing each of your cheeks.
“Oh,” she sighs while staring at you, “you’ve made me the happiest person in the world.”
56 notes · View notes
ask-artsy-oncie · 3 years
Note
what kind of pokemon do you think the ducktale crew would have if they were trainers?
I'm only doing main partner pokemon bc I don't think I can flesh out teams for everyone
Scrooge - okay so this one was actually really difficult. I really see him as specializing in steel-types, because aside from his immense wealth, a major defining trait for Scrooge is how he's self-made (through his adventuring) and, less notably, his distaste for magic. I think all of this has a lot of cohesion with the steel type, but finding the right pokemon was a challenge. I was hoping for something from Galar, but nothing really jumped out to me as vibing particularly well with him, so I think the best fit I could find would be Aegislash, which is, at least, also from a European region, and fits well with his adventurer motif. If anyone has any better ideas feel free to send them in, though, cos I'm still not entirely sure.
Donald - Specializes in water-types. It would be entirely fitting of Donald's luck for him to get stuck with a magikarp. But with hard work and dedication (and a decent amount of rage) he ends up raising it into a Gyarados. He would also have the mega-stone for it.
Della - Specializes in flying-types. It was so fucking tempting to give her a celesteela, but not only would that be kind of mean, but I also want to refrain from using any ultra beasts. That being said, I think that Skarmory might be a good fit, because it still does retain the same flying/steel mix, and I do think that Scrooge has rubbed off on Della, significantly (for better or for worse). Plus I think it fits her motif very well (planes, metal flying machines, while Donald sails boats, watercraft that catch the air in their sails, and goes well with a water/flying type). I was also really tempted to give her a rayquaza, but I also wanted to refrain from using any legendaries. Mayhaps she went to space chasing a rayquaza, tho?
Huey - eclectic in his type choices, he likes to have an extremely varied team. Obviously this makes it harder to narrow down his partner pokemon, but I feel like it suits him. I also feel like Girafarig suits him - I think he initially relates to it as he ascribes his own rage to a persona he feels is an antithetical "side" to his "normal" personality that he needs to supress, yet ultimately, he learns that the Duke is simply an aspect of himself and a part to his whole, just like how Girafarig is not comprised of two separate pokemon, but is instead just a single creature.
Dewey - Electric-types for suuuure. It just fits his high-energy personality so well, and I think it also has synergy with his desire to be a media star, since iirc most reporters, interviewers, and camera-people in the games carry electric-types. I think Jolteon would work well with him, since as much as he would hate to admit it, he does tend to gravitate towards the basic and popular, which the eeveelutions definitely are. And though pikachu would have been the obvious choice in that case, I think Jolteon fits his aesthetic, best.
Louie - ooookay I am going to cheat on this one a little because I do have two pokemon in mind for Louie. Firstly, I think he favors both normal- and dark-types, though he isn't too hard-pressed about types. His main partner pokemon would be either a Meowth or an Alolan Meowth, though either way he never intends to evolve it. Cats. Money. Louie. It works. I am very adamant about Louie having some kind of Meowth as a partner. I also believe he would have an Absol. Absol just seems like such a good pokemon for anxious people to have, since it can easily sense and warn about disasters. I think Louie would value that, a lot.
Webby - with Webby's high value and priority on friendship, I think the fairy type would be a very good fit for her (especially since she is a part of Team Magic) though, I also think she would at least try to keep a varied team. Her partner would be Mimikyu - because oh my god look at this little guy, it needs a friend so bad!! Webby will be its friend!! And she'll give it all the love and attention it needs. Of course, it knows Return.
Lena - Ghosts, Dark, Psychics, Faeries, anything that exudes a magic and mystical energy to match her own. Lena would definitely be one of those "psychic" trainers who absolutely has powers of her own, but still takes the time to raise pokemon. Her partner would be a Gardevoir - a pokemon very in-tune with emotions that compliments Lena in her struggle to control her emotions and magic. It would also be a shiny Gardevoir and Lena would also have its mega-stone, because then they would share the blue-black-and-white palette. And when they're both powered-up, Lena loses the black in her palette while Mega-Gardevoir gains it.
Violet - Violet also has an affinity for the more "magical" types her sister and friend are. I think that, due to her interest in witchcraft and metaphysics as a field of study, I'm a bit torn between Gothitelle and Hatterene. She probably would have both, I'm just torn on who her partner would be. On one hand, I could lean harder into the metaphysics aspect, since that's what one of her fathers studies/teaches, and go with Gothitelle, but Hatterene also gives her more synergy with Lena because their partner pokemon would be the exact same type combination. I'm not sure.
BOYD - A Ditto!! Not just for their implied connection to science and the steel-type, but because BOYD (in-universe) was also designed to replicate (and ultimately be) a real person.
Hahahaaaa that took a lot of thinking! Thank you for the challenge!! I do have more ideas but I think I'm going to stop there before it gets too long. Also sorry if you meant "ducktales crew" literally. I don't know those people well enough to assign them pokemon, lol.
24 notes · View notes
whitherliliesbloom · 3 years
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
You follow the scent trail of sweet flowers...until you bump into a mysterious bijou girl with starspun hair and lustrous lavender eyes. Mysterious girl far from home: “O-oh- I’m sorry... The way you’re looking at me as if you want to d-duel... W-well, i-if you in-insist..”
@windupnamazu​‘s Pokemon!AU Illya headcanons under the cut! It’s very long, so hang tight! Note the headcanons may be subject to change or updates in the future ;w; Drawings and designs of Illya’s outfits by @rosepinkwol​.
Tumblr media
Illya’s personality is about similar with her ffxiv canon verse. Shy, reserved, very sweet and gentle. But she’s considerably more cheerful in her pokemon au form and less emotionally volatile / depressed. She still does have some lingering emotional and mental health issues though, which will be covered later. 
She became a pokemon trainer primarily to explore the world and meet more pokemon. Dueling and beating others isn’t a real priority for her, though she still does it to earn money. 
While Illya bets pokemon dollars in normal battles with trainers she is unfamiliar with or in official tournaments, she doesn’t like gambling real money when battling with friends. Instead, she’d often suggest that the loser has to treat the winner to a meal.
Extremely good cook. You’ll never go hungry or be unsatisfied in the tummy if you go camping with her. Just don’t mention that you like spicy foods or she’ll almost always assume that you’d be able to handle the same level of spice as she does (pro-tip: you probably can’t). 
She smells like the most gorgeous mix of flowers - no thanks to her Comfey often playing with her hair and wrapping flowers around her. 
She takes pokemon welfare very seriously due to her upbringing and background. She thus has a habit of releasing pokemon she captured that she feels would either be happier out in the wild or are showing signs of stress in her care. That seldom happens though, due to how loving and caring she is towards all her pokemon - most of them end up becoming very attached and even protective of her.
In the same way, she never forces a pokemon to battle, evolve or do anything they don’t want to, even if they are strong. 
Illya knows a lot about pokemon care and the likes / dislikes / proper way to take care of different types of pokemon. Thus, she makes friends with pokemon a lot easier than she does humans.
The very definition of ‘gotta catch em all!’..... but only if the pokemon wants to be with her. She loves all pokemon, regardless of her personal tastes and will treat any pokemon she comes across with respect and care as long as they mean no harm to her. 
Knows basic first aid for both humans and pokemon. And much like in canon, her pain tolerance is incredibly high.
She’s very particular about money. Short-change her, and she’ll be very very cross. After all, less money means less treats she can buy for her pokemon. 
In general, she’s dainty and graceful... however she is a tad more clumsy in her pokemon au form compared to canon. 
Illya is the definition of gap moe: her sweet, cute and angelic demeanor causes a lot of people to underestimate her. When they challenge her to a battle, they are later shocked by just how ferocious and skilled she is as a trainer. 
Illya has become quite famous everywhere she travels - owing to her infectiously sweet, genuine and kind nature contrasting her ferocity and skill in pokemon battles. 
She’s extremely intelligent, observant and intuitive. She often stays on the defensive for long periods of time before she works out a strategy or her opponent pokemon’s weak points before going in for the (metaphorical) kill. Reckless trainers who don’t plan accordingly are the quickest to lose to her. 
She WILL order her pokemon to use stun debuffs on your pokemon (sleep, charm etc). And she won’t apologize for it.... until the battle is over. 
As stated, since Illya doesn’t especially care about dueling or becoming known as the best pokemon trainer, she often doesn’t see the need to challenge gym leaders to duels unless her friends urge her to, or if beating a gym leader is required for her to be able to advance in her journey. 
Illya’s an extremely good sport. She’ll congratulate you wholeheartedly if you defeat her, and will also wish you ‘good fight!’ if she beats you.
Gives the best hugs - especially to her pokemon. It’s not uncommon for people to see her giving group hugs to her pokemon after a particularly tough or difficult duel.  
Illya actually has a lot of pokemon, many captured but also many that she befriended and didn’t officially ‘catch’ until they decided to follow her home. She carries a fair bunch around with her, but also left a good number of her pokemon at home to live peacefull with her father. Of course, she only enters battle with 6 pokemon at maximum, as per usual pokemon battle rules. Relationships with her main pokemon team and other notable pokemon detailed below!
Tumblr media
While Illya is generally not one to fuss too much about her appearance or fashion, she does care about making presentable. As such, she has a more colorful and varied self-made wardrobe in her pokemon au form than she does in canon. She does however, have a favorite outfit that has become trademark to her:
A loose cloak that is fastened either with a pin or buckle, and a long flowing scarf that sways freely in the wind as she walks. Underneath her cloak, she wears a knee-length dress with a sailor collar and elbow-length sleeves and black fingerless gloves. She often switches between various hair accessories such as flower corsages, ribbons and pins. However, her brightly colored hairbands are perhaps the most well remembered to those who meet her.
Some people speculate that her scarves were sewn from the fur that was shed from her Cinccino, hence how warm and fluffy that look. Her hip length pure white hair is wrapped against her neck when she wears her scarf. 
Illya’s trademark outfit in the pokemon au has two different versions: one that she wears in the spring and summer, while the other is worn in autumn and winter. 
Her spring / summer attire is lighter- both in color and fabric. Her baby pink cloak is fastened with a flower pin atop her pink and purple dress. Intricate flower patterns adorns her skirt, and she wears ankle-length socks and purple flats. She also wears flower earrings 
Her autumn / winter attire is made of thicker, warmer material - specifically her purple cloak which has a star print and is fastened with a buckle. Her dress is a darker blue in color, with constellation and star patterning around the edge of her skirt. There are rumors that the underside of her skirt shimmers like a starry night sky... but you’d have to be out of your mind to want to look up it to confirm said rumor. Instead of socks, she wears white tights and dark blue shoes. She also wears a star hairclip and earrings to go with her blue hairband. 
Illya does not like feeling cold, and thus usually travels around wearing her cloak and scarf... however, she will on occasion take them off indoors out of respect - such as when she’s eating a meal at somebody’s house as a guest. 
Tumblr media
Illya was born to two loving parents - Cocona, a lalafellin woman who worked as a nurse at the nearest pokemon center to their home in a small, quaint town and Lachlan, an ex-pokemon trainer who retired shortly after having his name entered into the hall of fame, now settled down to live with his wife and daughter.
Cocona’s job as a nurse gave her a lot of knowledge on how to take care of pokemon, and together with her husband set up a daycare / nursery for both young and old pokemon alike, where they spent their days taking care of many different species of pokemom. 
Born under those circumstances, Illya was exposed to pokemon since a very young age, and began playing with and interacting with pokemon as a toddler. She also quickly learned to help around the daycare, learning more about each different type of pokemon and how to best take care of each of their needs. 
At age 9, her mother fell ill with a life-threatening disease, and in order to allow his wife to see the world before she passed on, Lachlan took Cocona away on a one year journey outside their hometown, leaving Illya alone with her aunt (Cocona’s younger sister) to take care of the pokemon daycare in their absence. Unfortunately, Illya’s aunt had a somewhat sour relationship with her sister, and was neglectful towards Illya, often leaving her unattended for extended periods of time.
Illya sought refuge and comfort from the pokemon she was tasked to take of, and for a long time, they were the only ones Illya talked to. She’d take the pokemon out flower picking, stargazing. She ate with them, slept with them and vowed to take care of them to the best of her abilities for the sake of her parents.
On a particularly terrible stormy night, the land surrounding her home became flooded with rainwater and seeped into her house. While Illya scrambled to keep the water out, her pokemon were thrown into a panic, and eventually one of the baby pidoves flew out and away from her home. Illya chased after the pidove into the woods despite the rain, the wind so strong that it caused her umbrella to be carried away into the wind. 
As she ran after the pidove, she slipped and tumbled down a hill, breaking her leg. Now injured, scared and alone in the middle of the forest, the young Illya cried for help, but her voice was drowned out by the sound of the pouring rain and thunder. With nothing but the darkness of the night staring back at her and fearing that a wild animal or hostile pokemon may be lurking about and attack her, Illya attempted to crawl her way back home, but the pain from attempting to stand up only causes her to collapse once more.
It felt like the entire world had abandoned her, and just as she heard a strange noise from the shadows and feared the worse, a mimikyu approaches her from the dark and sat by her, watching over her and shielding her with its appendages, as if to reassure her that it won’t let any harm come to her. 
She was found later in the morning by the people from the nearest town, who had gone over to her house to check on her only to find she wasn’t in, her pokemon panicking and gesturing towards the forest for the townspeople to look for her. The pidove was hold safely afterwards too, trembling as it took shelter in a tree. 
The incident left Illya well traumatized, and stemmed her own growing self-hatred and anxiety which would only grow worse as she grew to become a teenager. 
She doesn’t like talking much about what happened to her as a child, and she only ever mentions the incident to people she truly cares about and trusts. And if anybody were to ever upset her by being pushy and asking her about it when she doesn’t want to share, her Mimikyu would be the first to smack the offender in the head. 
Tumblr media
Her main pokemon team underwent a few changes over the years, but for the most part now, it’s fixed and she rarely switches members of her party out for another pokemon unless she thinks it’s really necessary.
Tumblr media
One of the first and oldest member of her current pokemon party. Illya and her Mimikyu are inseparable. 
Mimikyu had in truth been watching her since she was but a child, enviously admiring how happy her family and her pokemon in their daycare had been together. He had, on multiple occasions, attempted to show himself in order to be part of their family, but was always too cowardly to do so. He would always scurry away whenever Illya or her parents would approach, hiding in the shadows and only ever watching from a distance. He watched her even as she was left alone, and on the fateful night of that storm where Illya would find herself lost and injured in the forest, Mimikyu folllowed her.
Watching Illya cry alone in the rain, he felt a surge of protectiveness and compelled him to finally step out of the shadow to comfort and protect her through the night. Perhaps in that instance, he saw himself in Illya, someone who was scared, alone and just wanted to be loved. He could relate to Illya’s loneliness, and loved her for the way she would love and accept any pokemon, regardless of their appearance or strength.
Since that day, Mimikyu hasn’t left Illya’s side and is one of the most protective pokemon of her. 
Mimikyu can often be found sitting on Illya’s head when he’s out of his pokeball and traveling around with her. He will extend his appendage out to grab any food that she offers him, or even to swat away anyone who gets too close to Illya.
Compared to other Mimikyu, Illya’s Mimikyu isn’t at all aggressive towards Pikachu. It is however, very shy and embarrassed and will attempt to hide if it spots one. 
As Mimikyu only really cares about what Illya thinks, he won’t attack anyone who catches a glimpse of him under his disguise. But he will be very, very grouchy.
He gets along decently well with all her other pokemon, though it is sometimes jealous of how big and strong Corviknight is.
From a distance or as a shadow, Illya’s scarf often resembles the appendage Mimikyu extends out. Once, while the pair were out in the woods and Mimikyu was sitting on Illya’s head, it extended its appendage to grab hold of a treat Illya was offering it. A distant passerby who could not see clearly in the dark of the night mistook their silhouetted figure as being a monster - or a near and frightening mythical pokemon. The myth is still circulating to this day, and Illya has no idea that it had been caused by her and her Mimikyu.  
Mimikyu doesn’t like going inside his pokeball - not that Illya would force him to. He’d of course, prefer to spend time outside with Illya. He especially never leaves her sight while she sleeps, often snuggling up to her beneath the covers or otherwise making himself comfortable in her scarf that she set aside. 
He’s surprisingly, and scarily very physically strong - able to grab hold of other pokemon and even other people several hundred times larger than itself. He uses this to his advantage by grabbing people who get too close to Illya and shoving them away - and he’s not at all gentle about it. 
Tumblr media
Comfey shares Illya’s love and passion for flowers and it’s not uncommon to see her Comfey drifting around her, weaving flowers into her hair as she walked. The scent of the flower crowns Comfey weaves makes people who wear them feel relaxed, so she often wraps Illya in flowers whenever the girl is feeling particularly stressed or uncomfortable. 
Comfey loves decorating hotel rooms and campsites with flowers she picks from the wild, and she seems to be particularly generous when it comes to giving out her flowers to others. Friendly, sweet and kind - it’s almost as if Comfey was an extension of Illya herself sometimes. 
Comfey is the resident healer of Illya’s pokemon roster, able to not only heal the ailments of humans but also the other pokemon. She is especially active when Illya is helping out at pokemon centers or giving first aid to others. When Illya is in pain, Comfey often goes into a tearful panic. 
Tumblr media
Corviknight’s appearance almost always gives other people a heart attack. Nobody ever expects someone as small, cute and demure as Illya to have such an intimidating looking pokemon. But she does, and she is just as affectionate to him as she is with her other pokemon. Strangely, Corviknight seems to be very uncooperative to everyone except her.
Once lacking a flying type pokemon, Illya almost fell to her death after being pushed off a cliff. Corviknight caught her in midair and hid her under his wings after he landed, guarding her with a ferocious glare even as other humans attempted to check on her. Ever since, he’s ever a watchful guardian to her, glaring from behind her back even as she smiles sweetly at others. 
Corviknight also serves as Illya’s main mode of transportation when she isn’t able to walk herself. As Illya loves taking her time to explore on her own two feet, she tries to not overly rely on Corviknight... sometimes, it can’t be helped however - such as when she needs to cross large bodies of water.
Interestingly, Corviknight bears a striking resemblance in both his aesthetic and personality to a hyuran pokemon trainer of dark skin and black hair who has secret romantic feelings for Illya. 
Tumblr media
Bellossom met Illya while the girl was traveling through a tropical area that has been haunted by rain clouds and dark skies for the past several days. Illya was first attracted to bellossom because of the flowers on her head, and had watched as the Bellossom danced and chanted, mesmerized when the rainclouds pulled apart and sunlight began to shine through.
The two quickly bonded, with Bellossom teaching Illya her sun summoning dance before finally, she decided to join Illya together on her journey.
She wasn’t exactly meant to be a part of Illya’s team, and for a while, she was but a mere travel companion. However, Illya noticed just how active and enthusiastic Bellossom was to battle - or perhaps she saw it as an opportunity to show off her dance to more people. Regardless, bellossom hence became a new member of Illya’s pokemon team replacing Cincinno. 
If it wasn’t obvious enough, Bellossom loves to dance. She is rarely ever seen not at least swaying to its own beat while she’s outside her pokeball, and she becomes very eager when other pokemon or humans show an interest in learning her dance. 
Tumblr media
Evolved from an eevee that Illya had taken care of since she was a child, it alongside Mimikyu are the two most senior members of her current pokemon team and also the longest to have known her. 
Sylveon is a free spirit, much like he had been when he was still a baby eevee. He enjoys roaming about a fair bit, though he takes care to not stray too far from Illya. 
He’s very attached to Illya and much like other sylveons, understands his trainer’s emotional state well by wrapping his feelers around her hand while walking with her. Whenever Illya gets sad or upset, he often likes sitting in her lap, purring and nuzzling himself against her in an attempt to make her feel better. He also wraps his feelers around her in an attempt to soothe and calm her down whenever she cries.
Despite his adorable appearance, he’s actually very daring and fearless, never once backing down from a confrontation or fight with other pokemon even if they are multiple times his size or even if they are a type that holds an advantage against him. 
Illya’s Sylveon is also very attached to Alphinaud’s Espeon, nuzzling himself to espeon whenever Alphinaud has it out. 
Tumblr media
Gardevoir was one of the latest pokemon to have joined Illya’s team. She is an extremely elegant, regal but also stoic member of the party. 
Like other Gardevoir, she is able to read the future - and it was through her prediction that she foresaw her meeting with Illya and prematurely approached her. She is also able to distort dimensions and create black holes, though she rarely ever does the latter. 
Much like Mimikyu and Corviknight, Gardevoir is extremely protective of Illya despite not having known her for as long as the others have and would not hesitate to expand her own psychic powers to her fullest if she feels like Illya may be in any sort of danger.
Though powerful, she doesn’t tend to like roaming about much and mostly stays within her pokeball unless Illya calls her out for food or battle. 
Gardevoir’s demeanor and headstrong personality reminds Illya a lot of her late mother, and perhaps there is some deeper reason for why Gardevoir herself feels such a strong need to protect Illya as if she were her own kin. 
Tumblr media
Some of her pokemon are carried around with her as travel companions, only occasionally taking part in battles, while others are left at home to be cared for by her father.
TRAVEL COMPANIONS [to be updated as au is expanded on]
Vulpix: A male vulpix that Illya carries around and cuddles with during the winter or when she’s traveling through locations with colder climates. Out of all her pokemon who are not part of her main party of 6, vulpix is probably one of the most active and frequently called forth in battles that aren’t official tournament leagues or competitions. Illya also calls her vulpix out whenever fire is needed. He is brave and enthusiastic and hopes to one day evolve himself into Ninetales. 
Dragonair: A gentle male dragonair that Illya caught near a lake one day during clear skies. It had dragged her into the sky and allowed her to ride on his back, soaring high into the clouds before dipping back down towards the waters. However, Illya lost her balance and fell into the water. He still feels bad about it to this day. He likes to curl around her to sleep.
Cinccino: A playful female cinccino who evolved from one of Illya’s minccino that she has been caring for as a child. She was once an active member of Illya’s party, but now is more of a travel companion who rarely ever battles now. Some people believe that Illya used the fur shed from Cinccino’s scarf to sew her own trademark scarf that she’s seen traveling around with now. 
Rowlet: Though Illya gets along with many pokemon in general, birds in particular seem to be very fond of her. This male rowlet followed Illya as she was traveling through the woods and eventually became a part of travel party. He doesn’t see very many fights but he does love to cuddle and is very affectionate towards not just Illya but other pokemon and trainers.
Alcremie: A shy female Alcremie who offers sweets to new friends she meets. Illya often has reservations about eating the cream and berries secreted from her, but after being assured that it doesn’t at all hurt her Alcremie and that it’s offering of sweets is a sign of affection, Illya has started learning to indulge more in sweet foods more and more. Illya doesn’t have the heart to tell Alcremie she prefers spicy food, though. 
Trevenant: A female trevenant that attacked a woodcutter that Illya saved while traversing through the forest. Convinced at first that Illya intended on harming the forest, it proceeded to trap her in a cage of trees until she was finally convinced to release Illya after witnessing the way Illya refused to let her vulpix burn the trees down just to escape. She follows Illya around and holds a lot of respect for the way Illya cared for nature and the environment. 
Hatterene: A reclusive Hatterene Illya met during her travel. She once hated Illya, chasing her by emiting a strong psychic aura much like she does with other strangers. Upon sensing Illya’s lack of hostility and own gentle soul however, she eventually calmed down enough to allow Illya to approach. She is very moody and temperamental.
NOTABLE POKEMONS AT HOME [not including pokemon that belong to Lachlan or pokemon that belong to other people being taken care of]. List is NOT exhaustive!
Cleffa: A female cleffa born from Cocona’s retired Clefairy. As Cocona passed away shortly before cleffa was hatched, Illya became her owner / trainer instead. Though cleffa wishes to someday be a part of Illya’s team, grow stronger and evolve herself, Illya hasn’t quite allowed herself to let go of her mother’s death, and hence prefers to keep cleffa safe at home. It’s one of the rare instances where Illya has explicitly gone against a pokemon’s wishes, even if out of a genuine love and protectiveness of it.
Musharna: A female Musharna that eats the nightmares of Lachlan and any guests who come to stay over at their house. She sleeps a lot and frankly cannot care any less about battling. 
Chimecho: A male Chimecho that Illya caught and took along with her on her journey for a while, before leaving him at home with Lachlan. He likes hanging himself to the roof of the house and swinging in the breeze. Not hearing chimecho’s wind chimes tells Lachlan and Illya that something is wrong. 
Azurill: A male baby Azurill that Illya rescued. He is very timid and lacks a lot of confidence. He wants to get better at doing battle, but still has a lot of training to do before it can get to that point. 
Beedrill: A male beedrill that was evolved from a weedle - the very first pokemon Illya ever caught in the wild on her own. She’s trained him personally as she grew up, and he saw many of her clumsy behavior and less experienced days. He’s sort of retired now, spending his days keeping the more rowdy pokemon in the daycare in check. 
Tumblr media
Theme songs
If pokemon au illya were to have a theme / ost track, it’d be this lovely re-orchestrated track of the Lacunosa Town Theme! It’s soft, peaceful and has a touch of melancholy which suits her perfectly. This, this and this remix also fits her and may double as her battle theme?
Illyanaud track mayyyybe? 
Legendaries / Mythicals??
I didn’t include any legendaries or mythical pokemons into her roster because lore regarding those are that they’re very very rare BUT if Illya were allowed to have a legendary and a mythical pokemon, she’d probably own a Cresselia and a Celebi! 
Tumblr media
Cresselia, the Lunar Pokémon. Shiny particles are released from its wings like a veil. It is said to represent the crescent moon. On nights around the quarter moon, the aurora from its tail extends and undulates beautifully.
Tumblr media
Celebi, the Time Travel Pokémon. This Pokémon wanders across time. Grass and trees flourish in the forests in which it has appeared. When Celebi disappears deep in a forest, it is said to leave behind an egg it brought from the future.
Shout out to Diancie, who is a close second choice solely based on the fact it’s design looks like what Illya would be if she herself were a pokemon. 
Relationships with other OCs / NPCs
To be added!
103 notes · View notes
tundrainafrica · 3 years
Text
Title: Bite
Summary: To say the least, Hange's last month of pregnancy turned out a little bumpier than what Levi would would have liked it to be.
A New Year's piece of Levihan Domestic Fluff. Happy New Year everyone!
Link to cross-postings: AO3
Notes:  I know I've been writing a lot of fluff lately but yeah, just me coping with this being my first ever New Year's stuck at home with our family not together this year. Sorry for my French but Fuck Covid.
The house was quiet.
But that's how Levi wanted it. Hange was eight months pregnant after all. When she was carrying a fragile growing mini person inside her, he would rather she stayed quiet anyway. The peace and calm of the household was an improvement from the clack of rock to wood and her humming. It was a sign at least that Hange was finally getting the well needed rest that came with carrying an extra human.
But it was just a little too quiet. Too quiet for it to ever be comfortable for Levi. Levi had to note that it was past noon and Hange should have been up, playing around with whatever rocks she had on the workbench or at least sitting on the sofa reading a random book from the bookshelf in the dining room.
She probably stayed up late last night. Levi thought to himself. That thought was quickly shot down when Levi recalled that she had actually slept much earlier than him.
Of course, she's eight months pregnant. Levi attempted to scramble for other reasons for that silence as he started to give in to the nagging worry. When Hange was home, she was always making noise. Levi found it almost eerie that the noise levels were down to when Hange was out for work. All he could hear were the clatter of pans as he placed them on the sink and the simmer of the fire as he started to prepare lunch.
After I finish making lunch I'll check on her. Levi promised himself.
Levi had been up since five and had not entered the room again since then. It was for good reason. Hanger was notably crankier than usual, particularly in the mornings. Carrying an extra human to term had her having rough days every day and Levi just wanted to be a little more careful with his cards.
He turned on the radio by the kitchen window. Having an extra voice at least even if it wasn't Hange worked to alleviate some of that discomfort. He had started on reorganizing one of the cupboards when the radio whirred to life.
Hearing the man on the radio was oddly comforting. He never did leave the house as often as Hange so the radio had been his anchor to real life. With Hange home more often, he never needed to turn it on, Hange always had her own personal talkshow going on when she wasn’t asleep. Either that or he was too busy worrying about her to even have time to focus on the happenings that day.
For the first time in so long, he had the time. Enjoy it while you can. Levi told himself as he started to ponder what the news of the day would be. Having lived a long life constantly being chased in the underground that eventually evolved into a life killing man eaten giants, Levi found listening to the societal problems that plagued Paradis almost calming.
He had been dubbed ‘humanity’s strongest soldier’ and had been fighting man eating beasts and preventing the fall of humanity for a huge part of his life. Yet at present, most problems that made their way to Paradis were at least solvable by the average conscripted soldier or the average office worker. More than half the time, no one was actually in danger of dying. A significant improvement from the Paradis he grew up in.
Listening to the happenings on the radio, he was reminded of the joys of retirement. He indulged himself by listening to the last few parts of a radio drama and news on preparations for the fireworks festival that night.
The world is so peaceful. Levi had been daring enough to think that statement to himself.
“Breaking news!” It was as if the radio had sentience and read his mind, wanting to prove Levi wrong as if to say ‘the world will never be completely peaceful.’ “We just received word of a hostage situation in one of the warehouses in the Southern port.”
A wave of panic ended up running through him. It could have been from the tone of the reporter or Levi’s own instincts. Calm down. You’re not a soldier anymore. This isn’t your problem. It wasn’t at all new for Levi to react like that internally. He had an unnaturally strong sense of urgency having lived a life of danger for too long. He willfully brushed it off and attempted to focus instead on cutting the vegetables for the soup he was making for lunch.
“More information is coming in…”
Having spent most of his days alone in the house with nothing but a radio for a companion, Levi had mastered the art of multitasking, being able to pick up all the details of the radio article over the sound of the pots and pans, the sound of plates being stacked or the whistle of the kettle.
A gang car jacked one of the buses on the way out of the Southern port.
Gang holds hostage in the port fireworks which were slated to be sent to the capital for Paradis’ first ever New Years Celebration...
The fireworks were ordered more than a year ago…
Levi knew enough at least to understand what would have pushed people to steal them. Hange had mentioned it once during one of her rambles. She had been the one who had suggested they buy fireworks from Marley and celebrate New Years more than a year ago. It was apparently a highly anticipated festivity every year in Marley and having been so excited at the idea of celebrating it in Paradis, Hange went overboard with the organization. They had sent people to Marley to train with handling fireworks and had gone over multiple displays before deciding on one, which ended up being one of the more expensive options.
But it will be beautiful. Those words echoed once again in Levi’s head. He recalled seeing stars in her eyes as she said it.
Eventually Armin had taken over and with Hange’s hand out of the project, Levi had forgotten about it until he heard the details of the hostage situation over the radio. I wonder what Armin’s doing about it. A food for thought he reflected on while he prepared the ingredients for boiling.
“The police are assessing the situation as we speak.” Levi was aware they couldn’t give the exact details, the hostage takers could be listening in.
Another report came in a few seconds later. "The escaped hostages have confirmed the hostage takers do not have a radio on site. No chance of them listening in." 
Levi found himself silently commending the escaped hostages for noting such a small detail. He hadn’t expected civilians to be that sharp especially in such a stressful situation.
“We escaped through the vents with one brave woman’s help but she had to stay behind.”
“How many are left inside the warehouse?”
“Just her.”
“Couldn’t she escape with you?”
“No sir. She doesn’t fit.”
“Doesn’t fit?"
“She looked like she was at least eight months pregnant.”
A pregnant woman in a hostage situation? Levi’s ears perked up at that. His thoughts flew to whoever that woman’s poor husband could have been. He had his own pregnant wife after all so he was quick to sympathize. Despite not believing in a god, he found himself sending prayers to that phantom husband. I hope someone at least informed him.
Levi kept his attention on the radio news as he mixed the ingredients and the spices for the soup.
“We have to get her out soon then.”
“She said she’d be fine. She even called the hostage takers amateurs.”
Levi was familiar with hostage situations though to know it was in their interest to keep their hostages alive. When taking the risk though, losing meant losing a life and Levi found himself sympathizing with whoever was left. Maybe I should call Armin? After I wake up Hange.
“But she could end up dead.”
“She said they wouldn’t.. On the off chance they did, she could defend herself.” Despite having just come out of a hostage situation and seeming concerned about a pregnant companion they had left behind, the woman talking on the radio seemed convinced that the pregnant woman could take care of herself.
How can an eight month pregnant woman defend herself though? Levi was starting to get a little more interested in the identity of the pregnant woman. There were two possibilities, she was a pregnant woman with a screw loose in her brain or she was an actual genius, Maybe he could ask Hange to ask Armin about it and they could learn a thing or two from her.
“She used to be in the military… And apparently had dealt with worse situations before."
So she was from the military? The military was a small community and Levi was sure he should know who it was. Was anyone pregnant though… Other than Hange?
Levi had racked his brain for a few seconds considering all the possibilities. Except one.
He did not know how many minutes he had spent considering the other possibilities before moving on to the exception. Yet that possibility was just outrageous. So outrageous that Levi had to ask Hange even if it meant waking her up from her nap.
Sorry for interrupting your sleep Hange, I just heard about an eight month pregnant woman who used to be part of the military and got taken hostage in a warehouse by the port. Just wanted to make sure it wasn’t you. Levi rehearsed his lines quickly as he made his way to the bedroom. It sounded ridiculous the second time he repeated it to himself. At that point though, it seemed worth it.
Levi’s heart started to beat faster as he entered the room, he could almost hear it. It could have been from the fear of waking up that lump on the other side of the bed or the fear of finding out it was just a pillow.
He never found out where that fear came from. It turned out the pillow was just a lump. Before Levi could even process his bodies’ reaction to the suspense and that harsh realization, his body went into survival mode. It came as a torrent of unintelligible emotions reminiscent of his fights against the beast titan and the invasion of Marley.
Just like it did then, his survival mode switched on and his instincts took over. Levi’s body was moving much faster than his brain. He called a taxi to take him to the port.
It was an option ten times more expensive than the shuttle but the price was the last thing on his mind.
                                          Bite
The crowds on the port were large and Levi was disappointed to find out that many of the people there were uniformed policemen. He pushed his way through the crowd clutching one of the men in the front by their collar. “Why the hell are you not moving? You probably outnumber the hostage takers at this rate!”
“But sir… we don’t have orders. And there’s one more civilian inside.” The uniformed policeman who had answered Levi seemed a little too unsure and inexperienced that just listening to him made Levi miss his comrades in the survey corps all the more. That man looked like he had never fought in his life.
“Fuck this, I’m going in.”
“Sir are you sure? I think those men inside are armed with some very high end guns. We can never be too careful.”
Armed with what? Levi had been pitted against guns, thunder spears, man-eating giants and the king of all these founding titans. Despite the big ham the policeman was making those weapons out to be, Levi was not nervous at all.
He ran towards the building and in that few seconds vacillated between breaking through the window and bursting through the door. He had to act fast. Behind him, he could hear soldiers and policemen screaming at him to stay back and if he allowed himself a brief moment to stop and consider the situation, they might actually catch up.
Levi took a glance at one of the windows as he ran. The guns were on the table. Their guard was down. Levi found himself all the more disappointment at the policemen as he did. How the fuck is anybody not noticing that.
He crashed through the window where he had seen the guns on the table.
He never gave them time to pick up the guns. Even during that small moment Levi had allowed them as he took stock of the situation, they did not even attempt to dive for a weapon.
Levi and Hange did not have many things that could have served as a weapon in the house. Having only allowed himself a few seconds to get ready, Levi used the time to turn off the stove and cover the pot he had used to cook the soup. The only thing that he had managed to grab then was the vegetable knife that sat on the board he had used to cut vegetables that morning.
Levi though had worked with knives for years. He had also mastered the art of looking menacing even with the most mundane household objects as weapons. Even if he didn’t look menacing and the five hostage takers weren’t frozen on the spot, Levi was sure he still had enough agility left inside him to slit all their throats before they could shoot the gun. Preserving life had always been part of his principles though and he found himself giving the men the luxury to talk.
“Please! Don’t kill us!” One of the men begged as he fell to his knees. The others soon followed suit.
“You take hostages and you expect us not to attack?”
“We just needed money. Just give us money for the fireworks and we’ll be off your backs.” The first man who had kneeled explained. He looked to be their leader.
Levi kept his eye on the weapons on the table as he listened to the men. “This is a crime. I should be turning you in.” He had expected that to at least provoke the men. Alas, he had expected too much from them. All they did was kneel on the floor in defeat, their eyes downcast.
He approached the guns on the table and he could hear the men whimper as he did.
“The guns are broken,” one man said nervously. “We couldn’t get them to shoot.”
Of course you won’t get them to shoot. They need to be loaded first. Levi knew those guns too well. They were the guns Kenny and his police used after all. He had been at the end of that muzzle enough times to last a lifetime.
These hostage takers are amateurs. Levi had to admit, Hange probably would have been fine in this situation even if he didn’t show up.
“Where are your hostages?” Levi did not need to focus on the guns. Even if the men dove for them, Levi was sure they wouldn’t be able to shoot them.
Levi heard a kick behind him and one of the men nervously made his way beside Levi. “Over here… er sir.”
He was led to a dark room at the end of the hall. He kicked the door open, not bothering to wait for the man next to him to get the key.
The door opened to a room with many empty chairs lined up, one of them occupied by someone, someone Levi recognized almost instantly by the large belly and the fact that he had been seeing that face everyday for the past five years of his life.
Hange was there, sitting on a chair her hands tied behind her. As she looked up at them, Levi could see she had a face of overexaggerated terror for a while. For that split second, she was faking it. Levi had known her enough to know that. Within that second, it had twisted into something else, guilt and possibly actual terror.
“Levi… it’s nice to see you here,” She said. Levi had been with her enough to see that was the terror she exuded when she knew she had done something wrong.
“Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be at home?” Levi kept his voice cool, calm, feigning an expression of fake surprise. He was sure Hange would see through it. In fact, he wanted her to see through it.
“I would have been home by noon.”
“Answer the fucking question.”
Hange avoided his gaze. “The fireworks. I wanted to make sure they got to the capital safely.”
“You are an eight month pregnant woman on fucking leave. Why the fuck can’t you leave this to Armin.” He asked in the form of a statement. A statement he very much wanted her to reflect on.
“Armin and Mikasa are on a business trip to Marley. Besides, these are the expensive fireworks I ordered,” Hange explained. A shitty explanation which Levi refused to buy.
“The expensive fireworks Paradis ordered. We’re going home.” He approached Hange, ready to cut up the ropes behind her only to see there was nothing tying her to the chair. Of course. The others had gotten away. And the only person who could have helped them was Hange.
He noticed their means of escape in the form of a vent. It was closed yet, somehow Levi could tell it had been disturbed by its relative cleanliness when compared to the room that was covered in a layer of dust.
For a second, he had considered going out through there. The layer of dust and the large belly of Hange only made it a not too appealing option. “We’re going out through the front door and----”
And we’re leaving the rest to the police. They should be competent enough to arrest them at least. Levi would have wanted to say. That was until he heard the sound of gunshots.
Not the gunshots from the old military police guns. Those are the police guns.
“We surrender!”
The next thing he heard was an explosion then unfamiliar pops.
“The fireworks!” It was Hange who had answered that question of what that popping was. From seeing her crestfallen face, Levi was sure she had not intended to answer his question.
“We’re going out through the vent then.” He pulled Hange from her seat, making a silent apology to the baby inside her. “Can you hold your stomach in?” A dumb question to ask his pregnant wife but Levi was desperate.
It turned out though she didn’t need to squeeze her way through. The vent had been big enough for her to fit through without having to hold her stomach in.
And Hange should have known that. Hange wasn’t an idiot. In fact, Levi was sure she had better spatial reasoning skills than him, seeing as she had been in charge of the recent infrastructural developments over the years.
When he had carried her far away enough from the fire and the consequent blast, he had started to understand why she had been so adamant not to leave in the first place.
“The fireworks!” Hange was kneeling on the grass, a safe distance away from the blast and sobbing. “We paid so much for this Levi… This was supposed to be our first New Years celebration…” The intelligible words devolved into babble and Levi wondered whether that kind of emotional stress would be good for the baby.
At least, the hostage takers had gotten out safely. Levi thought, a desperate attempt to see light in the situation.
                                           Bite
“So let me get this straight. You stayed behind on purpose?” It had been a good few hours since the incident and it still took Levi some effort to talk to her calmly. Levi understood at least that he had a duty not to cause her any more stress especially right after what had happened.
She had shut herself in the room for a good hour or so as soon as they had gotten back. Levi had made sure to check on her a few times since then since she was almost as quiet as that pillow that had pretended to be Hange that morning. By evening, her face was still red and her eyes swollen.
To Levi’s relief, she had replied, a significant improvement from her catatonic state. “We were looking forward to some grand festivities and those fireworks were expensive.…” Hange mentioned the cost of the fireworks and Levi was sure that amount was the fund of the survey corps for one year.
With the price of the fireworks, he was somehow starting to sympathize at least. “You sure we don’t need to go to the hospital?” He asked, his voice a little gentler.
“No, it’s okay I’m fine.”
Levi did believe her. She had little to no scratches on her and she was still walking normally at least. It was her almost catatonic state which troubled him. He could give that until the next day. “We still have next year for fireworks,” he said, an attempt to comfort her.
A moment later, he started to hear the familiar popping. “Is that fireworks? I thought they got destroyed?”
“Yeah, those are the normal fireworks. The ones I wanted to see were the expensive ones I ordered last year.”
So we had fireworks already? Levi found himself moving to the kitchen mechanically, with the one goal of making himself a cup of tea. If he allowed himself any emotion then, he probably could have strangled Hange at that moment. “If you wanna see the fireworks, you can go down.” Just another precaution, he set for himself so at least he was a safe distance from her
The kitchen was near the window and although they were in one of the upper floors, he should be able to hear Hange’s footsteps as long as the windows were open and he concentrated enough.
The tea was calming and it kept him more alert to Hange’s footsteps. Just in case she did something else stupid. He wasn’t at all feeling trusting that particular night.
He had expected to hear footsteps, leather on wood or cement. For a few minutes, that was what he was hearing.
A few minutes later, he heard something he hadn’t expected to hear at all. In fact it was something he probably wouldn’t have had to listen closely to hear.
A loud squeak then a surprised scream from Hange.
                                          Bite
The last place Levi would have expected to spend New Years was in the hospital.
He had expected Hange to have done things during her pregnancy which would have ended up with a hospital visit. Never in his life would he have thought that it would have been from a rat bite and it would have been eight months into her pregnancy during New Years day.
“I tried to sit on the dumpster because it had the best view and there was a rat there...” Hange explained to the doctor from her bed in the emergency room.
Levi had stayed silent as Hange went into detail. He tried to tune it out himself, knowing ‘bitten by a rat’ was all he needed to hear for his whole body to shudder. Being drenched in titan’s blood seemed like a better alternative.
“I recommend you stay overnight. We’re uhh… going to have to talk to some doctors in Marley about this. I don’t think we’ve ever had a case of a woman getting bitten by a rat in her third term. We’ll have the nurse set you up with a room.” With that, the doctor left and it was just Hange and Levi together in that little corner of the emergency room.
Hange lay back on the hospital bed, her belly making a giant hill on top of her. It was so unnaturally large that Levi realized he wouldn’t be too surprised if the baby came out at any moment.
“You know Levi, I think he enjoyed today. He was kicking my belly back in the warehouse,” Hange quipped playfully as she rubbed her belly. Levi noted that the line that connected to Hange’s hand must have been some sort of painkiller or sleep drought. Hange’s smiling face was a brief respite from her crying face that afternoon, even if it was medicine-induced.
“Or maybe he thought you were a complete idiot.”
“You know… When I heard the window crash, the baby kicked harder… I think he knew daddy was coming to save us.”
“Or maybe he knew mommy didn’t need saving after all.” Levi returned her playful smile with a glare.
“Hey, you had fun. It was just like the old days...”
Fun?  Levi wouldn’t have used that word at all. Getting shot at and being almost eaten on a regular basis wasn’t fun. Not knowing when you would die wasn’t fun. As Hange had mentioned the word ‘old days,’ Levi did start to realize he had been a little disappointed to see the men hadn’t shot at him.
He put a hand to his forehead. “Do I actually miss fighting?” He pressed harder into his forehead as if that action was enough to push some sanity back into his brain. No one should be missing a war. “Hey Hange, do you miss it?” He wanted to search for some assurance at least that he wasn’t the only one slightly insane.
He looked back at Hange to see the latter had dozed off, her face fixed into a warm comfortable smile, her hand resting on her belly.
He didn’t know how long he had been staring. It could have been minutes or hours. His trance though had been broken by one greeting of “Happy New Year!” then a few soft cheers and some light clapping. Levi wasn’t too worried that Hange would wake up. She looked to be in a deep sleep.
Levi put his hand on hers, and even with one hand beneath his and the belly, he still felt it, a light small kick. He’s coming out soon.
He leaned close to her ear, taking in the rare sounds of her relaxed breathing before he whispered his own greeting. “Happy New Year… Next year we’ll see the fireworks together, all three of us.”
It was a promise only he would have remembered. But it was a promise he vowed to keep.
71 notes · View notes
sepublic · 3 years
Text
Accommodating the Curse
           Again, it’s heartbreaking how Eda initially must’ve thought that the curse was something she could easily live through and get by with a few elixirs here or there, to the point where it may not have even been noticeable- That to her, all this meant was an extra drink doused here or there, and that’s it! Considering the kind of bold person that Eda is, she really might not have batted much of an eye, even if she’s still unhappy that someone cursed her in her sleep to begin with and it’s technically still an ongoing issue that’ll cost money… Because obviously, it shouldn’t have happened in the first place, but at least Eda can get by like nothing happened, right? This doesn’t have to CHANGE anything, not in any notable, substantial way…?
           And then it just gets worse. The curse begins actively affecting Eda outside of the transformations, making her tired, making her older and her hair gray… It’s even hindering her magic as the curse starts becoming more frequent and needy, and then suddenly it’s an elixir a day that’s needed, and that’s getting all the more costly and cumbersome for Eda. She needs to find a reliable source, she needs the good amount of snails to afford those elixirs (which could play into her being a bit of a pickpocket and slightly greedy), and she can’t really enjoy herself as free and unbridled as she used to without having to stop and go back to prioritize her medicine. More and more, this curse insists on interfering with her life, when it already caused quite a ruckus the first time- Because ruining Eda’s social life and causing her terror and distress in the initial periods of figuring it out wasn’t enough… She can never be sure if she has the curse fully figured out and thus she can be sure if she’s truly accepted and learned to live with it, because it keeps evolving.
           Eda can’t be sure if this is something she can live with, because she has no idea how far the curse can go- And so she has to account for worst-case scenarios, and that restricts Eda from the life she wanted because what happens if the curse gets worse and she’s in a vulnerable position? And that means staying at home, alone, more and more… Eda’s playing it safe and missing out, even when there may not have been a need to because she can never be certain, and it contributes to why she’s so adaptable and just accepts things in stride, immediately working with them instead of letting it soak in how it’s all been changed and disrupted. Eda can never truly settle down lest she have to move things around again and adjust her life around the curse accordingly, it’s a large and unruly, disregarding beast that keeps taking up space and shifting around with Eda having to navigate around it the entire time, no room to breathe. It might shed hairs that make Eda sneeze, or slobber all over the place- Never get comfortable because anything is liable…
           Eda used to not have a care in the world, she used to be so happy as a kid- And now she has to deliberately consider what she does with the curse on her mind, so it’s really hard to live life as if it’s not there, to not have her mind and actions wrapped around it in the end. Even when the curse isn’t there, Eda has to think about it and how it could get worse, so she couldn’t enjoy herself as the free adult she was supposed to; Obviously Eda still had room to experiment in relationships given her long list of exes… But I do have to wonder how many exes were superficially turned off in reaction to Eda’s curse, and it worsening- And how Eda may have had resentment and bitterness at the curse for ruining her relationships, only to realize that anyone who’d cut ties with her over the curse, probably wasn’t worth it anyway.
          Still, Eda’s condition interfering with other activities (including her weakened magic) would really sour her attitude and bring up old pains, thereby preventing Eda from moving on because even when she tries to forget about the curse, others will bring it up to her- Like Lilith. Obviously Eda was still able to enjoy the freedom of being on the run and escaping the system, and that clearly helped offset the restrictions of the curse… But it must’ve been hard, if not impossible, to ignore the curse and only think about it whenever Eda had to take her elixir, or when the curse became relevant- Because it could always be relevant, and it’d just make Eda feel like her entire life revolved around the curse. Every thought and happy moment had the disclaimer of “But…” regarding the curse in order to dampen her mood.
          Eda can’t fully enjoy herself, it must’ve felt so restrictive and it could’ve felt like her identity was ‘Cursed Eda’ rather than Eda as she always was, but with a curse. Eda can’t ever really move on from the curse, because it might and will get worse. Those moments where she can just live life as if she’d never been cursed at all, like she could pretend it wasn’t there- They become fewer and farther in between, as the curse takes up more of her time, suffocates Eda with the constant reminder of what she has and what she doesn’t, and invasively contributes to the idea that Eda as a person has permanently changed to be of the curse, not just occasionally with it.
          Eda could feel less like her original, happy self, and more like a curse/condition that needs to be taken care of, constantly maintained instead of a carefree witch who only needs to consider her own happiness and fulfillment. She might feel more like a problem that constantly needs to be looked after, instead of a person… And it doesn’t help how the transformations can literally cause Eda to lose her sense of self. Particularly worrying is the implication that the curse is messing with her memories, making Eda feel like she’s losing grasp of herself, and causing her to forget the childhood when she wasn’t cursed- So more and more, it feels like she’s always had the curse, and that her entire life and identity has been marred by it, that Eda is nothing without it and defined by her condition. 
         It’d feel heartbreakingly frustrating and unfair for her, to be so completely blind-sided around this sudden curse, having her life gradually flipped upside down and being almost helpless to do anything but search for a cure and fail. It goes from “I’m Eda living life as I always have and occasionally I have to step aside and deal with the curse” to “I’m always dealing with the curse and then sometimes I can just be the Eda I used to be.” It’s like the curse has overtaken, overridden Eda, replaced her original life and identity that’d been planned and intended by Eda with something else- AKA her Owl Beast form, and how it sometimes acts like a different person and won’t recognize her loved ones at first. And it’d just conflict with Eda’s belief in making your own destiny, choosing your own life, when this curse has come out of nowhere and decided so much of that for her, now dictating a huge portion of what her future will be like and stripping a lot of autonomy from Eda in that sense, especially when she transforms and can’t control her actions.
          So maybe it just causes Eda’s sort of ‘screw-it’, somewhat apathetic attitude at times because this may as well happen, so let’s just get it over with and be done, and it just makes her tired. It’s somewhat an acceptance, but also an exhausted resignation as well, so Eda doesn’t bat an eye and doesn’t fixate on what could be better, just what could be worse, so she’s glad it doesn’t get as bad as it could be, when really she needs to focus on how it could be even better- And so Eda’s never quite able to make the changes to society that she always wanted to, because she’s still too busy holding onto and maintaining whatever she can, minimizing her losses…
           It’s kind of like how Luz had to work to minimize her losses by the Season Finale- Eda still lost her magic, but at least Luz and Eda didn’t lose each other… And they DID get Lilith, admittedly! Though whether or not she compensates for their losses at all is something they need to figure out… And Lilith will have to decide if she can make up for it as well- Especially with Luz and Eda somewhat resigned to the idea of just being glad they didn’t lose what they could’ve, that it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been… So why not provide a pleasant surprise for them, Lilith, and make some things better? Luz and Eda taught Lilith that things can get better so you may as well try, Lilith can remind them what they showed her, how they’d always lived by this principle themselves! Do the good to themselves that they’ve done unto others.
           Eda wasn’t ever able to truly relax until Luz came along and Lilith had a change of heart, but even then… Eda always expects that things will come and go and change, and so she’s blindsided when she has to account for someone like Luz being a permanent presence, a relationship to get invested in and thus take proper care of; When initially, Eda wasn’t too concerned and thus not the most providing. She likely expected Luz to eventually leave, either when she learned of the curse or had to go back home by the end of summer, so no point in getting attached if she’s going to lose it- But Luz reminds Eda that she’s always been a ‘live-in-the-now’ kind of witch, who has no regrets; Surely she won’t regret enjoying her time with Luz, even if it might end.
           But, getting back to the curse- It really hurts during Sense and Insensitivity, when Eda is all nonchalant and apathetic, and then… She notices how the curse is worsening in her reflection and genuinely freaks for a moment. It terrifies her when Eda realizes that the curse is getting even worse, especially after the previous episode- And it hurts because she’s always considered this as a possibility, but now she knows it’s real and it’s literally in Eda’s face what she’s losing and just lost… It’s hard to handle and accept sometimes, Eda really wished and hoped it wouldn’t be this way, deep down; So she’s rudely reminded that of course it’d be this way with the curse, she can never get what she wants so don’t pursue it, just be happy with what she has… Don’t bother reaching out to make friends with Luz or anyone else because you’ll always be lonely and you’ve always been happy like that, what more could you need? It makes Eda a bit cautious to try new things to an extent, like enrolling her kid at Hexside and reconnecting… And it’s this careful consideration of her comfort zone that clashes with Eda’s normally adventurous and exploring personality.
           When Eda realizes the curse is getting worse, it’s like the wound is freshly opened anew- And once more it’s like she’s that young kid again, when she first found out she had the curse… When she had to deal with its unexpected effects and lived in constant paranoia, never knowing what might come or happen next, if she’ll suddenly transform or if her magic will glitch out, and this is why she can’t be around people and has to be safe at home for herself and others. It’d no doubt bring back a lot of old pains and trauma, like Eda is reliving those days when she first suffered the curse… It’s so much more difficult to be certain of the life she chose for herself, because Eda can never be certain about the curse and just how bad it’ll get- And she’s afraid she won’t always be so confident about her decision to not give herself up to Belos just to cure it…
           Because maybe the curse WILL get worse to an unexpected point, that even Eda will have to change her mind and join the Emperor’s Coven just to be free of it- Because who knows what may happen? So again, Eda has to prepare for the worst-case scenario, that she’ll hurt others and probably die an early, magic-less death, or a fate worse than death… And because she has to accept this at such a young age, Eda is too accustomed to the idea of her life ending, because she’d rather die than join the Emperor’s Coven, and had to make sure she’d be ready to make that decision at any point in her life. Only then could Eda refuse to let the curse sway her into breaking her own beliefs, by treating its worst possibility as an inevitability- And it almost was, and definitely hastened, no thanks to Lilith…
           And it culminates in Eda losing magic- But also thanks to Lilith, she’s shared the curse. And there’s no doubt SO much relief because of this, because aside from the lost magic… Any progression of the curse Eda will go through, will be something she’s already retread- So she’ll be prepared this time, and with her support network… With Lilith also here to help, Eda will know what to do. And guiding Lilith on what to expect will help Eda feel reassured even more about what’s ahead of her… So with an entire crowd confirming Eda’s choices in life by providing their support, even when they saw the extent of the curse and what it’s done to her- I think Eda can truly begin to rest now, and be at ease…
          The curse is still an issue by technicality, but it’s no longer that unpredictable monster that a paranoid Eda would always have to account for- It’s either stopped getting worse, or she’s personally lived out and seen the worst… She finally knows what’s ahead of her down this path, so now she can accommodate and adjust her plans arrangements accordingly, enabling Eda to be at ease as the only surprise she has to look forward to, is how things between her and Luz and Lilith and the others with go- And the wonderful, joyous surprise of discovering new Glyphs and magic! Eda has conquered the unknown, and now it’s something she can look forward to as pleasant surprises regarding the new developments and happiness in her life.
          It doesn’t just have to be the consideration of things staying the same, or worse, and trying to find a middle ground between the two; Eda herself taught Luz to make her own destiny, so make your own options just as the two made their own options, either opting out of the Coven System or engaging in Multi-Track learning! Don’t accept what others have laid out for you, take life by the horns and steer it wherever you want- Staying the same, getting worse… Let’s add getting better as an option, and take the initiative to choose this choice and make fate stick to it and give what it owes you.
          You’ve made your decision and you’ll stick by it, so everyone else should learn to accommodate this choice of yours and who you are, this time! Eda learned to figure out her curse and live with it, she conquered it- And she’s not someone to pity, but a witch to admire and look up to, and Luz can confirm this for her! It’s Eda who’s enviable, even with the drawback of her curse- And Lilith can attest to how much better Eda’s life is, compared to having been non-cursed in the restrictive Emperor’s Coven! Eda really went out and didn’t just make her life better than it was, didn’t settle for as good as the typical one, or the one she was meant to have- She made her life one of the best ones out there! Eda got the life she deserved, even if it might not have been the one she expected, but; She’s always worked with what she gets as a trash collector and as an adaptable survivor.
40 notes · View notes
ratingtheframe · 3 years
Text
I Care A Lot, Malcolm & Marie, Capone, The Life Ahead and the News of the World: Everything I watched in February.
Tumblr media
Newsflash ! The cinemas still aren’t open and I’m starting to lose hope in them ever opening. Despite the UK government drawing a step by step guide into lifting the UK out of lockdown (like its flat pack furniture and not a critical pandemic) with cinemas due to open in April, I wouldn’t hold my breath seeing as our own human biology and its resistance is the actual measure of when it is safe to go out and about, not what our government says. So until everyone is vaccinated and has sustained the first few months of vaccination symptom free, I’m having to sift through Netflix and Amazon for something to watch, like I’m looking through a charity shop sale; without much luck. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for these streaming services, I (my dad) pay for them for Christ’s sakes and I know that one day I’ll be eating my words when I’m offered a Netflix deal that I (in a Vito Corleone voice) “cannot refuse”. However, unlike some of the creators on Netflix, I’ll make the most of this opportunity and be incredibly anal about what I want to make, even if it kills me. 
Tumblr media
I feel like so many people are given the license to make whatever they want for Netflix and then I look at the trophy wall of Emmys that HBO has garnered over the years and consider their quality writers and casts. I would say most recently, shows like The Crown, Sex Education, Top Boy and Bridgerton are Netflix’s exceptions currently, being both of quality and giving us something we actually want to watch. And guess what all these shows have in common?! Not only are all the casts largely British but all productions of these shows are British too. The British quality of TV programmes for streaming services in the US is a win win for all; Americans get to watch our good quality TV and we get Golden Globes. Most notably, The Crown did exceptionally (as it always does) at this year’s Golden Globes, further proving the show's excellence despite controversy. I thoroughly praise Netflix's resistance to label the show “fiction” and the lengths it took in making the show as authentically as possible, despite the criticism. The awards speak for themselves and the Crown has scooped up several this year so far. 
Tumblr media
To conclude, I want the cinemas to open just as much as anyone, but I’m happy to comply with the stay-at-home-and-watch-Netflix-rule for now. For now...Here’s everything I watched this February.
Annihilation (2018) as seen on Netflix
Tumblr media
Netflix’s Annihilation starring Natalie Portman, Jennifer Jason Lee, Gina Rodriguez, Tessa Thompson and Oscar Issac was a multitude of things that were difficult to comprehend. This is not me saying this is a bad film, in fact its me saying the complete opposite as the complexity drew a tangible beauty to the film from beginning to end. I reeeaaalllyyy liked the beginning and how the first scene sucked you into the crazy and fanatical story that later unfolded. Natalie Portman as always was wonderful in this role, playing a biologist who enters another world in search of her husband, who’s gone missing on a similar expedition to hers. Like with most sci fi films, it was difficult to gather the meaning of such a film, however this lack of meaning didn’t draw away from the story or how it was portrayed, in slow and enigmatic shots that told the story with a natural pace. If you’ve seen / liked Ex Machina (2014), Annihilation has the same director and I would thoroughly recommend you watch this too as the way Alex Garland merges sci fi with horror is incredibly seamless.
Score: 10/10
Eastern Promises (2007)  as seen on Amazon Prime 
Tumblr media
This film starring Naomi Watts, Viggo Mortensen and Vincent Cassel was incredibly dark and gritty. Even though I’m not Russian, I found Mortensen and Cassel’s Russian personas to be rather good for a Dane and a Frenchman. Their on screen chemistry was also really good and its make me wonder why I haven’t seen a film with these two in it before. The story follows Anna (Naomi Watts) a nurse and her hunt for the true identity and life of a baby that was born to a 14 year old girl. Nikolai and Kirill (Mortensen and Cassel) are Russian gangsters living in London and set about covering up this obscene scandal and getting rid of the product of it, a baby girl belonging to the condemned and now deceased child. It's a difficult plot to wrap your head around and like I said, it's incredibly dark. Actor and director David Cronenberg (A History of Violence 2005) directed this film and helped Viggo Mortensen with a nomination for Best Actor at the 2008 Academy Awards. 
Score: 8/10
Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) as seen on Netflix
Tumblr media
So remember how I said I was DESPERATE for films this month...I watched Fifty Shades of Grey with zero expectations and I can say definitively that it was worse than I thought. It's a true miracle that both Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan still have careers 6 years after such a film was released and I personally wouldn’t rush to cast either acting in my film after seeing this. Harsh, I know but reputation is everything and when you sign onto something that instead of highlighting your acting abilities, highlights your body parts, what am I supposed to think... I’m all for body confidence and what not, but I feel like most of this film sort of abuses sexuality and sexual expressions. The fact is, the BDSM part of this film wasn’t even that bad, it was the characters that pissed me off the most and their LACK of character in fact. They were orchestrated in such a flat way and the only time where either one of them found any character was through the sex itself and the discussion of it, especially Anastasia’s character. The most profound and irritating thing about this film is that Anastasia’s life seemed to only have meaning when she met the so called handsome, charming, wonderful, drop dead gorgeous Christian Grey. What does that teach us about women people? I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, sexualising women in film and media shouldn’t be the only reason for them to be there. And the entirety of Fifty Shades of Grey is built upon that fact. Even though the novel was written by a woman, it definitely missed the point in giving us a strong female character who could both be into sex and taken seriously at the same time. Seems like a really hard thing to do in cinema as filmmakers either go for the over-hyped sexualised prostitute, the caring mother or the nun. Like female professionals have never had sex in their lives… think again. I like to wonder what it would’ve been like had it been Ms Grey and Christian as her submissive. Not only would that mix up the character dynamic and go against gender confirmation, it’d actually be interesting. But maybe I should just write that story altogether...To conclude, the characters in this film were flat and the entirety of the film hyped up sex and the act of it way too much. It's like making a film about walking or breathing. 
Score: 1/10
Malcolm & Marie (2021) as seen on Netflix
Tumblr media
Malcolm & Marie received a lot of attention in the media and sadly not for the right reasons. In fact, what’s so childish about the backlash is that hardly any of it had to do with the filmmaking techniques Sam Levinson (Euphoria’s creator) used or the story he wrote. More of it had to do with Levinson’s controversial ideas about how the media likes to view and prod film like a goldfish in a bowl, acting ostentatiously towards the art and appearing woke as opposed to just seeing film for how it is. I gather many film critic’s egos were bruised when Levinson used the lead character, Malcolm (John David Washington) as a butcher to film critics. He says things like “I’m choosing to make a film that’s fundamentally political, but not everything I do is political because I’m Black” in reference to the ignorance of some film critics who stamp politics onto any black directed film, attempting to brand the films with their own understanding of the film as opposed to its real message and story. Malcolm spends the majority of the night loathing a fictional “white LA reporter” and betting on her exact words for his own film, about an African American woman trying to get off drugs. What he says is funny, so funny it's true. White reporters DO do this and instead of embracing Levinson’s satricalism, the real LA white reporters of our media got overly offended and used the “lack of story” card as a backdrop to fuel their distaste at being called out. Had they known Levinson’s intentions with this film, they wouldn’t have reviewed it all together as I’m sure Levinson knew what he was getting himself into when mentioning the annoying “white LA reporter” and making the stereotype central to the lead's frustrations towards the industry. Levinson also graciously mentions that even though Malcolm has such hatred towards the critics, he is their fuel and by making his so-called “art” he only joins them in the argument . Levinson made his bed when he made the film and I think he’s sleeping rather comfortably. No one even bothered to praise both Zendaya’s and Washington’s performances, which were phenomenal considering the circumstances and the added pressure of having to carry a whole story in one room using only each other to fulfil that story. The cinematography was ambitious and overall, it was a simple yet well executed story. What are y’all complaining about? 
Let's put egos aside and focus on the actual film for once, rather than how its perceived the articulation of your opinions towards it. 
Score: 10/10
Coming to America (1988) as seen on Amazon Prime
Tumblr media
At this moment I truly was becoming a slave to streaming services. I wasn’t particularly leaping at the opportunity to watch this film, however I chose to watch it as I heard that Eddie Murphy was releasing a sequel this year. As someone who doesn’t like comedy, I found this rather funny in places but it's hard to laugh at the black stereotypes portrayed in such a film even when those stereotypes were perpetuated by a black person. There was also a lot of misogyny, something else that I don’t call comedy but just misogyny. I found it hard overlook these moments and kinda saw this element as the downfall to the film which detracted from any of the other comedic moments.
Score: 5/10
Do the Right Thing (1989) as seen on Amazon Prime
Tumblr media
One of Spike Lee’s earlier films, Do The Right Thing is a film I’ve been dying to watch for quite some time. The film is like a fascinating book, with chapters on each of the plights of living in Brooklyn in the 1980s. Though it takes one character’s perspective, there are a multitude of other stories that can be found in this film, with them interlinking seamlessly and coming together at the end. This isn’t a film about race but rather one about anger and its potential to divide people, especially when things become heated and fingers are pointed. It covered a variety of perspectives which I like, almost like an episodic series where each episode is different and takes on a different character. This structure added variety to the film and allowed it to cover a multitude of topics in a small space of time. The structure of this film was only successful because its characters, who were funny, three dimensional and above all, had something to say. Director and writer Spike Lee played Mookie, the lead, a pizza delivery man and quite the f**k up on the streets of Brooklyn, using his mouth more than his actions to get by in life. I really liked the balance of moments of comedy and severity which had me laughing in places and immediately stopping afterwards. Well written and I commend Spike Lee for having written, directed and starred in the same film.
Score: 10/10
The Life Ahead (2020) as seen on Netflix
Tumblr media
As an actress, Sophia Loren is one of my all time favourites. On seeing films such as A Special Day (1977) Two Women (1960) Marriage, Italian Style (1964), I began to appreciate the work of Sophia Loren and notice how much of an icon she still is today. Having picked up several awards over an expansive 71 YEAR career, she has been honoured many a time by the Golden Globes and Oscars as one of the finest actresses of all time. Her presence on screen is inspiring and she’s been often referred to as the Italian Marilyn Monroe for her beauty inside and out. Here at the age of 86, she plays a Holocaust survivor and foster mother who cares for a troubled boy in The Life Ahead. Loren’s character, Madame Rosa, eventually saving him from a miserable life thieving and selling drugs on the streets of Italian. Loren’s son, Edoardo Ponti directed this film for Netflix and was generous enough to give us Sophia Loren’s presence on screen once more by casting her in the film as the lead.
Score: 9/10
Gold (2016) as seen on Amazon Prime
Tumblr media
I found Gold to be one of those talky, talky films that starts at the end and ends at the end (if that makes sense) which in my opinion isn’t the most courageous structure one could use, but is common in biopics. It either starts on the protagonist’s death bed or at the point where the police have just caught them and for Gold it was the latter. The appearance of women in this film was second to none and that’s not me saying the director should’ve added female characters for good measure or token but why make a film that only appeals to one demographic, despite the intensity of the story...film is universal after all and if a film appeals to one certain group then what’s the point of releasing it? This doesn’t detract from Matthew McConaughey’s performance though as a “prospector” looking for gold in Indonesia. Even saying this, the character was very typical of him and it didn’t truly stretch his ability as an actor, not like Dallas Buyer’s Club (2013), Killer Joe (2011) or Interstellar (2014) did. To sum up Gold into one word it’d be “meh”.
Score: 7/10
Creed (2015) as seen on Amazon Prime
Tumblr media
This was one of the most surprising films of the month. I’m not crazy about the Rocky films nor see myself watching all of them anytime soon, but Creed appealed as a more modern take on the hit franchise. Michael B Jordan plays Adonis Creed, son of Apollo Creed, a champion boxer who died during a fight before Adonis was born. After being adopted by Apollo’s wife, Adonis Creed sets out to follow his father’s footsteps by becoming a champion heavyweight boxer himself, much to his maternal mother’s displeasure and his coach’s the one and only Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone). The story is similar to that of Rocky and if anything, is a complete revival, using the son of one of Rocky’s former fighter as a backdrop to tell the story. Director Ryan Coogler (Black Panther 2018, Fruitvale Station 2013 ) brought this story to life and a courageous performance out of Michael B. Jordan. Not only was I fascinated by boxing by the end of the film, but just the whole idea of Adonis Creed, a fighter and not a quitter who thoroughly believes in pursuing your goals until they are obtained. Not only is this film for boxing fans but for those who share that same universal message and refuse to give into their own inhibitions to achieve great things. We should look to athletes more often in this respect and consider the pursuit of our own desires as boxing matches and marathon races more often as it helps put our fight into perspective and teaches us never to give in. 
Score: 11/10
Arrival (2016) as seen on DVD
Tumblr media
Before anyone comes for me for not having seen Arrival, before I was a movie buff I had briefly come across the film several times but had never taken the time to sit it out and watch it from beginning to end. I’m glad I did as Denis Villeneuve is one of my favourite directors evah and along with Christopher Nolan, I consider him as the King of Sci Fi. Every single one of his films is incroyable (as the french say) and it's a mystery why he hasn’t been handed an Oscar yet. Arrival is this slow and beautiful story of a linguistics teacher (Amy Adams) who agrees to help on a mission to communicate with extraterrestrial life forms that have landed on planet earth in the form of twelve huge spaceships. Structure isn’t something we typically consider when watching a film, but it plays such an important part in Arrival for time and the manipulation of it is the main theme of this film. Essentially, the language in which Dr. Banks translates from the intelligent life form gives its readers the ability to see into the future, which is when we come to realize that she’ll have a child, who will die of an unnamed disease. Despite this fact, she decides to live the life fate intended for her. The reason why Arrival is a highly credible film is because of the coverage it has as a film in terms of what it's trying to say as a film. From someone who finds it hard to bring out the emotion of a screenplay, Arrival is a great example to me as a film that combines both a cinematic feeling and a strong emotional presence throughout the film. It doesn’t abandon emotions or relationships just because the film is about aliens, but instead embraces them into the story and intertwines them with the aliens who’ve come to planet earth. At the end of the day, we can have explosions, spaceships and aliens galore, but if we’re unable to connect with characters on an emotional level then the film becomes boring. Arrival is far from boring and may bring a tear or two to your eye by the end.
Score: 11/10
The News of the World (2020) as seen on Netflix
Tumblr media
I feel like it's impossible to hate a film with Tom Hanks in it and The News of the World definitely fits into that.  Five years after the US Civil War, Cpt. Jefferson Kyle Kidd (Tom Hanks) spends his days travelling around the US ‘reading the news’ to anyone who’s willing to listen. The majority of the US was illiterate in the 19th Century, meaning it was up to people like Jefferson to inform others of the ongoings in the world by reading them the paper. It’s a wondrous thing to think about, how information was once spread throughout the world in such an archaic format. Jefferson did this off his own back, not asking for much and finding fulfilment in the reactions to the news that he “broadcasted” to them. Whilst on his travels, Jefferson comes across a young girl (Golden Globe nominee Helena Zengal) who’s negro family had been killed by lynchers. The girl was originally from a Native American tribe but had been separated by them, leaving her to fend for herself. When Jefferson comes across her, he’s reluctant to take her in at first but decides to take her to some relatives across the country. It’s definitely the role you expect of Tom Hanks and his heart warming nature is captured for us in this film for Netflix.
Score: 9/10
The Mask (1994) as seen on Netflix
Tumblr media
It's hard for me to label The Mask as a good film as that would mean shaking off the horrendous amount of misogyny it has and the lack of diversity within its characters. Films mean different things for people, but ultimately most of them reflect an element of humanity and explore it on screen with originality and authenticity. Cameron Diaz’s character was only there to fulfil the sexual appetites of the men around her, which is something I loathe in female characters. Originality The Mask has, authenticity, not so much. That's probably the reason why I hate comedies so much, most of them are written by men and are about men so it can get quite boring to watch at times. I liked the idea of The Mask but it definitely could’ve been executed in a less misogynistic way. 
Score: 5/10
Jackie (2016) as seen on Amazon Prime
Tumblr media
One word; perfection. This film was hands down one of the most beautiful, genuine and honest films I’ve seen in my entire life. It had me reminiscing Todd Haynes’ Carol (2015) in a number of ways, from the similar filmmaking techniques to the slow and melancholy atmosphere that was being created on screen. The AMAZING Natalie Portman plays Jackie Kennedy, wife of John F. Kennedy who was brutally assassinated on a visit to Dallas, Texas in 1963. The fact that I didn’t even KNOW that his poor wife was in the car with him at the point of the assassination is shocking. On watching the film, I learnt Jackie was a remarkable, brave and intelligent woman who after her husband's death put so much into preserving her husband’s legacy despite his lack of popularity. The way the film is shot and the music by the brilliant Mica Levi (Under the Skin 2013 , Monos 2019) just ties everything together into a enigmatic and wonderful film. Natalie Portman was nominated for Best Actress at the 2017 Academy Awards and rightly so. This film has further proven my thoughts on her as one of the greatest actresses of our time. I seriously cannot EXPRESS how much I love this film, directed by Chilean director Pablo Larraín, who’s also made another film that I can’t get enough of Ema, which was released 2 years ago.
Score: 12/10
Foxcatcher (2014) as seen on BBC iPlayer
Tumblr media
When we first think of Steve Carell, our minds probably drift to his most notable performance as Michael Scott from The Office or even Gru in Despicable Me. It's rare for a so called “comedy” actor to find his way into films with a more dramatic substance and over the last few years, this is what Carell has been showing us on screen, with this role in Foxcatcher and more recently, in Felix van Groeningen’s Beautiful Boy (2018). Foxcatcher is the true story of a wrestler offered the opportunity to train with a private wrestling team owned by a huge chemical corporation. Channing Tatum plays Mark Schultz, a quiet and reserved wrestler who trains alongside his brother David (Mark Ruffalo), also a champion wrestler. What's sad to see in this twisted story is how validated Mark feels once the powerful and wealthy John Du Pont (Steve Carrell) begins to take an interest in him and takes him under his wing. This relationship drives a wedge between Mark and his brother David, but much to John’s displeasure, it doesn’t last long. This is definitely a story of power and how people can react in bad ways when they are owed too much of it. Every performance in this was astounding and the slow and subtle telling of the story was truly beautiful to watch. Foxcatcher is a film I’ve been dying to watch for some time and it DID NOT disappoint. Period. The film was also nominated for five Oscars back in 2015, including Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor. 
Score: 11/10
In Fabric (2018) as seen on BBC iPlayer
Tumblr media
Based on the current reviews of In Fabric, I deem the film a poncy experimental spectacle. Not only did it not say much, but what it was trying to say was rather disturbing and quite frankly bizarre. However, it's not a film I can necessarily hate on as it is experimental, meaning from the get go, I shouldn’t be expecting any sort of clear cut narrative, with relationships, protagonists, conflict or hierarchies. Experimental films are more about exploring a central idea and having all its “characters'' not essentially prove the idea, but just talk about it, like a debate but everyone agrees in the end. A debate where everyone agrees would be boring, which is why I find experimental films to be boring as most of the time they don’t have a meaning and sadly as humans, we’re obsessed with finding the meaning of things or else we’ll go crazy. And I would say this film definitely left me crazy at the end, proving the idea of man’s constant need to find meanings in things. In Fabric wasn’t really relatable, funny, clever or bold. It kinda just...was.
Score: 5/10
Delicatessen (1991) as seen on DVD
Tumblr media
I love how the world likes to think that the American film market is the only film market when in actuality the French created the actual concept of cinema and the idea to project “movies” onto a large screen. With this has come a plethora of incredible movies from France that have gone onto to change the film industry forever. There’s a reason why the most prestigious and exclusive film festival in the entire world is held in the South of France and not LA. Jean-Pierre Jeunet is the auteur behind Amélie (2001) one of the most well known independent films ever to be made and before Amélie came Delicatessen. This film is Tim Burton meets Wes Anderson but in French and tells the story of a man working for a butcher and the crazy characters he meets in the same apartment as him. By the end it's clear that The Butcher is selling more than pork and beef down in his store and that the new tenant is due to be the next item on sale. I loved how weird and larger than life the characters were and the otherworldly set design used for this film. There were so many moments that are quite hard to explain the beauty of them and if you’ve seen Wes Anderson or Tim Burton’s work, you’ll notice the similarities between this film and their work, perhaps showing a french influence on the current American market.
Score: 10/10
Amélie (2001) as seen on DVD
Tumblr media
Continuing on with the French theme, I was reminded this month of the beauty of Amélie. Every, single, shot in this film is pure perfection and I bet all my money that Wes Anderson was a mega fan of this film when it came out. It's truly a film like none other and it’s only this time around did I realise how much I RELATE to Amélie. The way she sacrifices herself for others and gets nothing in return, the lengths she goes to tell someone something instead of JUST SAYING IT, her lack of friends, I can definitively say that there isn’t a character on screen that I’ve related to more than Amélie (besides Elio from cmbyn). If you haven’t seen Amélie have a word with yourself.
Score: 11/10
Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) as seen on Amazon Prime
Tumblr media
Pan’s Labyrinth was a surprisingly amazing film and I wonder why I hadn’t seen it sooner. I was astounded to see it was in Spanish which I thought made the story somehow better. It's rare that we see such high budget and well known film that’s in a foreign language but I’m glad this film got the noise it did when it was released. Guillermo del Toro (The Shape of Water 2017) tells us the story of 10 year old Ofelia and her discovery of magical creatures in the woods that inhabit the outskirts of her new home. Not only that but it’s 1944. The Spanish Civil War has been over for five years but small groups of guerrilla rebels continue to fight against the new fascist dictatorship led by Francisco Franco. This is a well structured film that shows two strong worlds and combines them in a satisfying way, which isn’t an easy thing as sometimes films can get lost in the facts of history instead of the emotions and dynamic relationships. The set design in this was UNREAL as always and I really felt for the characters and their given circumstances. And that’s what we call a film.
Score: 11/10
I Care A Lot (2021) as seen on Amazon Prime 
Tumblr media
For a full review of I Care A Lot, follow the link: https://ratingtheframe.tumblr.com/post/643763403606867968/a-strong-performance-from-rosamund-pike-that-we
Score: 8/10
Interview with a Vampire (1994) as seen on BBC iPlayer
Tumblr media
We were doing SO WELL until I made the costly decision to watch this waffle of a film, directed by Neil Jordan. Not only was the story all over the place, but the dialogue itself was incredibly on the nose and self explanatory throughout. It feels like there was more talking about the film instead of showing the film, which just made me switch off from early on in the film. I hated the casting of Tom Cruise in this and there were moments when I believed his character, but none of them outweighed the overarched and over bearing performance he was attempting to give. Brad Pitt was marginally better but the performance of Kirsten Dunst who was 12 years old at the time this film was released, outdid both actors. She was the only character that I truly felt for / cared about and her on screen presence was both enviable and wise beyond her years. Personally, I can’t explain what this film was even about because I truly didn’t get what was going on, however if you’re a fan of Kirsten Dunst’s work, this would be a suitable film to watch in that respect. 
Score: 4/10
Fargo (1996) as seen on Amazon Prime
Tumblr media
Fargo is probably most known as a Netflix series, but before that, it was originally a film directed by the Coen Brothers and starred the likes of Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, William H Macy and John Carroll Lynch. I’ve been meaning to watch Fargo for quite some time and I was not disappointed with the outcome of it. It's one of those good old fashioned crime films, with lots of twists and blood split throughout the film. The film won two Oscars in 1997; one for Best Actress which was handed to Frances McDormand playing a police officer investigating a string of murders in Minnesota and another for Best Original Screenplay. A really well constructed story with a fantastic cast and great cinematography work from Roger Deakins (1917 (2020), Blade Runner 2049 (2017) The Shawshank Redemption (1994). 
Score: 10/10
The Darjeeling Limited (2007) as seen on Amazon Prime
Tumblr media
The Darjeeling Limited further proves to us Wes Anderson’s ability to create entire new worlds and show us stories that take place all across the world. Three brothers, Peter (Adrien Brody), Jack (Jason Schwartzman) and Francis (Owen Wilson) have travelled to India in an attempt to bond with one another “spiritually” after the death of their father. Peter and Jack aren’t too keen on this little expedition, irritated at their brothers' intrusiveness over the trip. The majority of the film is set on this fanatical train travelling across India and yet again, we are blessed with some phenomenal production design to tell us a fun and uplifting story. What’s more is that the boys’ mother (Anjelica Huston) lives in India as a nun at the foot of the Himalayas. This becomes the real reason for their venture and such a thing changes the character dynamics between the three men. India is shown in all its beauty in this film using the backdrop of three men’s relationship with one another as a story.
Score: 9/10
The Life Aquatic of Steve Zissou (2004) as seen on DVD
Tumblr media
Another one of Wes Anderson’s lesser known films but equally as good as the rest, this film follows a group of marine explorers travelling across the pacific to try and kill a shark that supposedly ate a member of Steve Zissou (Bill Murray) ’s crew. With an all star cast composed of Bill Murray, Owen Wilson, Cate Blanchett, Jeff Goldblum and Anjelica Huston this film was entertaining, enlightening and cinematographically ambitious. Steve Zissou is a fictional character who makes a living off of extreme and dangerous marine explorations. He makes films of his travels using his crew and after screening his latest film, he meets a young man (Owen Wilson) claiming to be his son. Evidently, Zissou is reluctant to accept that this man is his son and uses his presence as financial gain to the project. I appreciated all performances in this film and the set design (as always with Anderson’s films) was exceptional.
Score: 9/10
Life of Pi (2012) as seen on Amazon Prime
Tumblr media
A highly visual and emotional film that carries beauty throughout in both performance and story, Life of Pi was directed by Brokeback Mountain (2005)’s Ang Lee and tells the story of Pi (Suraj Sharma and Irrfan Khan) a young boy alone in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with a fully grown Bengal Tiger. Winner of 4 Academy Awards including Best Director at the 2013 Academy Awards, this film does a phenomenal job of reminding us why cinema is such a superior and infinite art form. Pi’s family are on their way from India to America, exporting a large number of their zoo animals in hope of selling them once they reach the other side of the world. After a horrendous storm ravages their cargo ship, Pi is left all alone in the ocean with what only appears to be a small dingy, but to his horror, he comes to find that the zoo’s tiger Richard Parker is keeping him company in the middle of the ocean. Now if that ain’t a viable story, then I don’t know what is. To make a film look like it was set in the middle of a Pacific and with a Bengal Tiger is no small feat. Suraj Sharma’s performance was both truthful and powerful, despite the film being mostly shot in a studio with nothing but animation for Richard Parker. This is one of very few films that does the original novel justice. 
Score: 11/10
Capone (2021) as seen on Netflix
Tumblr media
Yikes. Capone has not been getting a lot of love in the media since its release on Netflix on 24th February. Personally, it's not the most god awful, offensive film I’ve seen and yet I wouldn’t have been the one to have made such a film either. The film is supposed to depict the last year of the infamous and notorious Al Capone, who suffered from numerous illnesses at only the age of 48. Tom Hardy plays the blood thirsty gangster and I have to say, this was a thoughtless casting choice. Hardy doesn’t have an ounce of Italian in his face and he put on this larger than life caricature of an accent that had me feeling rather sorry for him at moments when I shouldn’t have been. The acting was exceptional, but believable and interesting? That’s another argument altogether. Cinematography and sound wise, I thought the film was excellent in those respects but again, those should be additions to the integral story of a film. I get why Hardy signed up though, what actor wouldn’t want to play a mob boss? Maybe the point of Al’s life in which this film was built upon was perhaps wrong for the screen and I’m sure most would have preferred Hardy to play Capone at his peak. This film is a clear example of people getting ahead of themselves when they first explore an idea for a film. This film could have easily been saved in the development stage had someone said let’s not do this.
Score: 5/10
Creed II (2018) as seen on Amazon Prime
Tumblr media
Obviously a prequel will always outdo a sequel, however I found Creed II to be just as meaningful as the first film. Maybe even more so as Adonis Creed (Michael B Jordan) is becoming a father his responsibilities have shifted dramatically. He’s also desperate to fight Viktor Drago, a Ukrainian ruthless boxer whose father accidentally killed Creed’s father in a match decades before. Drago is tough, beyond what he and his coach Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) could ever imagine and because of this, it drives a wedge between Adonis’ relationship with his coach. Creed thinks Rocky doesn’t believe he can beat Drago but Rocky insists not fighting the bull of a boxer would benefit him greatly, after all, look what happened to his father. The character dynamics have shifted in this sequel, but the structure has remained largely the same. We kind of knew what we were being served at the end and the change in character was there for everyone.
Score: 10/10
Tumblr media
...and that’s it! Everything I watched this February, you do not want to KNOW how long this list took to compile. Thanks for reading and see you next month!
ig: @ratingtheframe
21 notes · View notes