Tumgik
#It's just stress and that's that. nothing anyone can do
Text
early chaggie days being a bit unsettling, but still pretty sweet
Vaggie: “Hey Charlie? I’m back.”
Charlie: “VAGGIE OHMYGOSH THERE YOU ARE!!!! I was worried sick! What were you doing wandering hell alone?? You’re still hurt! And new here!!”
Vaggie: “I’m fine, it’s not like I’m bleeding-”    
Charlie: “I was WORRIED! It’s been hours- your note just said ‘gone out’ it didn’t say if you’d be back!”
Vaggie: “Why would anyone leave you a note like that if they weren’t coming back?”
Charlie: “I DON’T KNOW THE NOTE DIDN’T SAY THAT EITHER!!!!”
Vaggie: “Right, sorry. I’ll make sure the next one does. I’m sorry.”
Charlie: “That’s! Not-!”
Vaggie: “I’m sorry Charlie.”
Charlie: “No no you don’t have to be sorry- going out whenever you want is fine! Dangerous, when you’ve just lost and EYE and a LOT OF BLOOD and your back is still FUCKED UP and you have a pretty face covered in bandages that I couldn’t change this morning because you left- which is fine, that’s fine it’s FINE-”
Vaggie: “You really don’t have to keep-”
Charlie: “-it’s just we NEED to get you a phone! No more ‘don’t wanna be trouble’ bullshit- this is serious! What if you’d needed help? How fuck was I supposed to even find you!?”
Vaggie: “Follow the trail of screaming people and blood?”
Charlie: “Wha- what blood?”
Vaggie: “Shit.”
Charlie: “Your blood?? Did your back- But it’s been burned shut since day one! Did someone-”
Vaggie: “Charlie-”
Charlie: “WHO-”
Vaggie: “No one did anything, okay? Look, no blood. See?”
Charlie: “….then why did you say that?”
Vaggie: “I might’ve… kinda sorta stabbed a few people who got too close. Uh. Nothing fatal. But there was some blood and screaming…”
Charlie: “They SCARED you.”
Vaggie: “No they really didn’t, it was just instinct.”
Charlie: “And this is hell, Vaggie- at least half of them were at least TRYING to scare you!”
Vaggie: “Well it worked. It was fucking scary how close I came to killing a few of them without even noticing.”
Charlie: “Vaggie…”
Vaggie: “I won’t go out again. I got what I needed, and I didn’t know you’d worry.”
Charlie: “Of course I worried…”
Vaggie: “You don’t have to. I’m just this month’s random dumbass sinner picked out of the rest of the trash and crashing on your couch, making you stress over dumb stuff. I’ll get out of your hair soon as the bandages come off.”
Charlie: “Don’t.”
Vaggie: “?”
Charlie: “Don’t, talk like that, about yourself. Please?”
Vaggie: “Like what?”
Charlie: “Like THAT.”
Vaggie: “I don’t even get what ‘that’ means. I only said what happened.”
Charlie: “I….. never mind.”
Vaggie: “Alright…”
Charlie: “…..”
Charlie: “….what did you go out for anyway?”
Vaggie: “Spear.”
Charlie: “Spear? Like, spearmint gum or- OH!!”
Vaggie: “Just uh, just a spear.”
Charlie: “But isn’t that an Exorcist’s!? Vaggie- be carful! That’s one of the ONLY things that can-”
Vaggie: “-kill a sinner permanently, yeah, I know. Or gouge out their eye. Permanently.”
Charlie: “Oh.”
Vaggie: “I’ve seen them in action, I mean.”
Charlie: “And it doesn’t upset you?”
Vaggie: “It’s, complicated. Mainly it’s just, it’s a little reassuring to hold onto, you know?”
Charlie: “My hand is- I mean, sure, yes. That makes sense. I think.”
Vaggie: “…you can lock it up somewhere if you want, while I’m here. I don’t mind. This is your home-”
Charlie: “And yours. As long as you need it.”
Vaggie: “That’s, nice but-”
Charlie: “And while you’re here you should feel safe, and if the spear helps you feel safe around me, then okay. Good. You um, you didn’t sell anything super important to get it, right?”
Vaggie: “No, I found it behind a dumpster-”
Charlie: “Wow those are really pulling through on the amazing finds lately!”
Vaggie: “Charlie- huh?”
Charlie: “Good find! At the dumpster!”
Vaggie: “Charlie, it’s not for you. The spear. I didn’t get the spear because of you.”
Charlie: “I mean hell princess and stuff, first hellborn monster in all creation- totally understandable!”
Vaggie: “If you’re a monster then creation needs more of them.”
Charlie: “The carpet is still smoldering from me going all demon flames at you five minutes ago.”
Vaggie: (chuckling) “Yeah, because you were worried.”
Charlie: “Still. Scary?”
Vaggie: “Adorable.”
Charlie: “….really?”
Vaggie: “You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met, because you care, and you get angry when the rest of the world doesn’t care as much as you do. It’s really.” (pause) “It’s new. It’s really new, and I’m glad I got to see it.”
Charlie: “If you’re sure…”
Vaggie: “Yep. The horns and tail are cute, too.”
Charlie: “The- aww SHOOT! They’re still out? This whole time??”
Vaggie: “You didn’t notice grabbing my wrist with your tail?”
Charlie: “I WHAT??? IM SORRY OH FUCK OH SHIT IT- IT HAS A MIND OF IT’S OWN I SWEAR- FUCK WHY WON’t IT LET GO-”
Vaggie: “It’s fine. If it wants to cling then let it. I’d like to sit down though, so.”
Charlie: “Right! Sorry!”
Vaggie: “Charlie it’s fine.” (sigh) “Feels like we’ve used that word too much today.”
Charlie: “Ugh you’re right, sorry…”
Vaggie: “And that one too. Stop.”
Charlie: “Fine.”
Vaggie: “….”
Charlie: “….sorry?”
Vaggie: “….”
Vaggie: “…you’re lucky you’re cute.”
Charlie: “And YOU’RE lucky you’re tiny and fit on the couch. There’s an actual bed here! In case you forgot since the last time I told you! Now, sit kitchen?”
Vaggie: “Actually I was thinking sit couch and I’m not taking your bed.”
Charlie: “Did you remember to eat anything while out poking rude hell people with your new spear?”
Vaggie: “S- sure I, uh, I did. Do that.”
Charlie: “Uh-huh.”
Vaggie: “Yes.”
Charlie: “Mmhmm.”
Vaggie: “…I did do it.”
Charlie: “Bzzt, lies. To the snackies we go!”
Vaggie: “But-”
Charlie: “And I’m getting you in that bed eventually. It’s gonna happen. Couches can’t be good for your back, even when you’re so small! Especially when you’re hurt!”
Vaggie: “Charlie, if I was in your bed you’d never get any SLEEP.”
Charlie: “Why not? I like being around you!”
Vaggie: “I move around too much at night.”
Charlie: “Bad dreams?”
Vaggie: “…sure.”
Charlie: “Well maybe not being alone when you wake up would help? That’s what Razzle and Dazzle do for me sometimes- right guys?”
Razzle: “Baa!”
Dazzle: “Mreh.”
Vaggie: “Hi fellas… What… what happened to your kitchen.”
Charlie: “I asked them to get snacks ready!”
Vaggie: “It’s a warzone.”
Charlie: “It’s snack time?”
Vaggie: “There’s enough doughnuts here to feed a whole battalion after a battle.”
Charlie: “Well since you weren’t here to ASK I couldn’t TELL them what KIND of doughnut would be your FAVORITE.”
Razzle & Dazzle: “Ree!”
Charlie: “So we had to make all the kinds. But only this one time, okay guys?”
Razzle & Dazzle: “Grrr….”
Vaggie: (smiles) “Thought you said you weren’t even sure I’d be back.”
Charlie: “I wasn’t. You’re the first sinner who’s ever crashed on my couch, so I just, hoped.”
Vaggie: “…..”
Vaggie: “Thanks. For the hope.”
Charlie: “You’re welcome. Really, literally, you’re welcome. Couch or wherever.”
Vaggie: “……or buried under a mountain of pastries?”
Charlie: “Finding your favorite kind is IMPORTANT okay!”
Vaggie: “There’s dough splatters on the ceiling.”
Charlie: “You’re worth a few dough splatters and an artfully singed carpet. You’d also be worth some lost sleep. Now! Staring with the basic, a classic plain glaze….” (busily dives into doughnut infogump)
Vaggie: “….”
Dazzle: “Rrr?” (hands her a tissue)
Vaggie: “...huh? Oh.” (takes tissue) “Thanks….” (dabs at her eye while Charlie isn’t looking)
232 notes · View notes
billfarrah · 7 hours
Text
I genuinely can't believe there are actually people coming for Young Royals for showing a character empowering themselves enough to remove themselves from a toxic situation and framing it as Wille "running away from his problems."
Removing yourself from a toxic situation which has caused you nothing but suffering and trauma and grief is not running away from your problems and it's genuinely such a dangerous thing to imply.
Why does Wille have to stay in a role he's never wanted, to please parents who have never accepted him for who he is or what he wants, who want to dictate how he lives his life and how his boyfriend lives his life and what path he takes in life and how he portrays himself to the media?
The show is literally about personal autonomy and finding the strength and motivation to be radically yourself regardless of what is against you and Wille's decision is portrayed an act of bravery. Leaving the monarchy is not "running away from his problems" - he's removing himself from an institution he does not believe in and does not want to be a part of and choosing to take a journey of self-discovery where he can discover who he truly is, who he wants to be, without anyone breathing down his neck or telling him whether he is allowed to have tattoos or how short he is allowed to cut his hair. Wille should not have to beg and fight with his family and with the royal court to be accepted.
The ending of the show never implies that Wille's mental health struggles are suddenly over and done with. Nobody is saying his anxiety and issues with anger have disappeared. Nobody is saying he will never struggle again. However, majority of his mental health issues throughout the show are directly linked to his role and the pressures it puts himself under. Leaving that all behind doesn't solve every problem he could ever had, but it alleviates a large amount of stress. Have people never left a stressful situation or relationship behind and suddenly felt an immediate and monumental relief?
I'd also like to point out that the ending of the show is not Wille abdicating. He has to officially renounce his claim to the throne for that to happen. He's simply just telling his mother how he feels and what he wants to do. The journey is not over for Wille and there will no doubt be many hardships ahead for him, but now that he's released himself from this and is for the first time sure of what he wants and sure he is able to deal with it, he is more equipped to deal with what's ahead than ever before.
Wille removing himself from the expectations of his family and the royal court are demonstrations of him working towards bettering his mental health, because he is finally able to recognize that the situation has always negatively affected him and he finally feels powerful enough and not drowned by anger, resentment and anxiety to leave it all behind and start over.
If that isn't bravery, I don't know what is.
166 notes · View notes
starlightdreaming · 7 hours
Text
Lucifer x Fem!Reader!
Content warning: ANGST TO FLUFF! :3 REALISTIC themes of REALITY (FROM MY PERSPECTIVE) this is a vent fic but I added my delusions of fluff for comfort, theres slight starvation of oneself (eating disorders right?) (this fic been in the back of my head all week)
(this MADE ME CRY WHILE WRITING I KID YOU NOT)
Synopsis: dealing with reality isn’t easy for anyone, upon walking home one day, you found a mirror, hoping you could sell the mirror for some cash, you discovered something money can’t buy… happiness.
(im craving for fluff)
making a one shot for my delusions
(the song that supported my delusions)
ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭*Dancing within the mirror* ੈ✩‧₊˚
Tumblr media
Your life wasn’t very pleasing to live, hell, life wasn’t pleasing to live at all, all the stress and endurance was so tiring, going to school, day in, day out was the least of your worries after you graduated.
Every kid has always said, “I can’t wait to grow up and do my own things!” at least once. once.
Now that you are an adult, nothing was as it seemed when you were younger. Yeah, you can do anything you wanted if you put your mind to it but it came with a price.. and that price was money.
Without money, you couldn’t do anything you dreamed of doing, without money, you couldn’t afford the things you even wanted- and to get anything you wanted, you had to get a ‘job.’ it’s the balance of life some say, but to you? it was control, it wasn’t about what you want or what you get, it’s all about having you work for the… them.
those people. the 1% some would call them.
Your mind deteriorated more and more from just not living anymore, just surviving.. you work, get the money, pay your taxes, pay your bills: your car, your electricity, your water, food, housing, insurance- everything.
You sat on the edge of your bed in your cold dark room, the moonlight twinkling in, it’s luminous rays escaping through the curtains at the window, you laid your head down crying and stressed, you can’t continue to survive like this, you just wanted to live.
You watch old shows and movies for comfort, wishing life would never change and forever stay the same, you wanted the world to stop revolving so you can just breathe. You watch cartoons and such, cause it seems they are living much happier than you ever will. Your mind always drifted off to just one day, you can lay in the grass and listen to the soft winds, the trees and grass rustling, dancing together as one with the wind.
You drew characters of your own, characters from your favorite shows and wrote everything your mind would drift off to, to cope with the bleak life that you had.
Sometimes, you wish reality could just.. shift, like if you wanted to live in your comfort characters universe? you could just poof! and then be there, talking for however long you wanted.
You sighed as you turned off your device, going to bed, too tired to do anything due to fatigue from nine hours of labor, you tucked yourself in, playing soft music to help you sleep with some sort of comfort, you closed your eyes to await another lifeless day of nothingness.
✧ • ✧ • ✧ • ✧ •✧
Another exhausting day at work, you walk home, your car broke down for the nth time, knowing how corrupt reality is, it was intentional by the people who you got it from. Another bill to be paid, just to get your car fixed, just to work more, pay more, just to feed them.
You barely made it through the monthly payments, saving enough to pay them all off but not enough to feed you. You silently walked in the grass, no sidewalks to be seen cause everyone used cars nowadays, never their feet and it made the people who are supposed to run the country (or states), neglect their ideals that they offered the people.
You sighed, exhausted, walking for a whole hour, you decided to rest. You worked nine hours that day, walking endlessly and now you’re here, walking home. You pulled a bottle of water you had with you from your pocket, taking a sip to refreshen yourself, it was less half than empty but it was enough for you to be hydrated for your next other hour you had to walk home. When you drive to work, it’s only eight minutes but walking? it was fifteen times longer.
You got up to your feet to walk again, stuffing the empty plastic bottle into your pocket to find a place to dispose it, not wanting to litter the earth than it already has been from neglectful people who could care less where their trash goes.
Walking past a dumpster, you neared your destination to home, you tried to put in the bottle but as you did, you saw something glimmering in your eyes, you took a second glance at what was shining in the dumpster, there, you see the sun reflecting off a mirror- but not just any mirror, a beautiful one. It looked old and antique but it was so mesmerizing to look at, it had unique designs, embedded with gold, at the top of the mirror, sat an apple, a white snake wrapped around it, it was in quite good condition, not even the glass was cracked, ‘who would throw such beauty away?’ you thought, you wanted to take it home but you hesitated, wouldn’t you look like a hobo if you were to jump in to get it?
You looked in all directions, seeing if anyone was watching, when the coast was clear, you jumped in to get it, trying your best to reach it, without falling in. After a few seconds to a minute or so, you managed to get out scot-free, holding the mirror with both hands, you looked at the distinctive details more closely, it really looked at shiny as gold, you couldn’t tell if it was, you were no genius to know, nor did you have the knowledge to know, all you knew it was dirty from the grime in the dump, it definitely needed a cleaning.
You held the heavy glass carefully, walking down your neighborhood to your home, you put it down gently next to your front door, trying to get your keys to unlock it, when you did, you happily tuck your keys into you pocket, picking up the mirror and walking inside.
The moment you got this mirror, you thought about how it could benefit you, ‘could maybe clean it and then put it on sale at an antique shop or mall?’ you thought, hoping to grab a bit of money to help you probably get something eat for once other than toast and cereal.
You put the mirror in your bathroom tub, getting towels and wipes to carefully remove the dirt from the lined details, sticking your nail covered by the wipe, to chalk the dirt out from deep corners, after a bit, you washed it off carefully with water, holding it gently as to not let it fall and shatter, you turned off the water, grabbing a towel to carefully dry it, not wanting to accidentally scratch the glass somehow.
You took the mirror to your room, holding it with both hands, you sat it down to the ground, making it lean against the wall, you stretched before you took off your work clothes, deciding you wanted to shower after today, I mean, after walking endlessly for two hours at work (not to mention the additional two hours, walking home), and dumpster diving? You definitely could use one. You began collecting comfy clothes to relax in, digging through your drawers, you got just a tee and some shorts and an extra pair of undergarments, you took your clothes, grabbed a towel and left to the bathroom, leaving the mirror alone in the dimly sunlit room.
While you cleaned yourself, unbeknownst to you, the mirror flickered in and out bright yellow auras, the little dust and dusk of yellow floated around the mirror like fireflies, it was glowing at that point, bright yellow, the gold designs that traced around the mirror began to glow as well, and it immediately went out as you entered your room, a towel on your head, you sighed as you jumped into bed, digging out your work clothes that you left on your bed to grab your phone, you tossed your clothes to the side as you laid back down, scrolling through what-not to distract yourself from the loathing pain of loneliness in your life.
From evening to dusk, you blinked lazily, tired of scrolling on social media for hours, you continued to do so until you stopped at a video, a video that was quite a little too relatable. You thought that - that’s when you know it’s time to put the phone down, it’s enough internet for the day, You plugged in your phone, placing it on the night stand.
You shifted under the covers, bringing your pillow to your chest to hold it, hugging it tightly as if it were to ever be your significant other, knowing full well that - that one day, will never come… but it doesn’t hurt to imagine it right?
You hugged the pillow tightly, nuzzling your face in it, looking at the mirror that faced your bed, you laid there silently, feeling the loneliness get to you again, the clock ticking in your room as you waited for sleep to consume you, you closed your eyes, resting your head in the pillow you held, before falling asleep. As you slept, the mirror began to glow again, the same golden aura surrounded it, little small dots of light floating around it again, the light began to glow more, the longer you slept, the small dots of light danced in the air, eventually making it to your bed, the small dots of light gently touched your skin, one even kissed your nose, it made your face scrunch as you scratched it, removing the tickling feeling in your sleep, you then turn the other direction of your bed, faced away from the mirror, the lights backed away from you, like curious little fireflies, they floated around you once again, raining golden dust onto your head as if it were sandman, raining sand onto your head, gifting you the night of pure lofty dreams.
✧ • ✧ • ✧ • ✧ •✧
You groaned as the morning light from the sun entered the room, waking you up from your dreams, it wasn’t often when you dreamed, usually they’d be nightmares or just plain weird.
You sat up on your bed, rubbing your eyes to wipe the sleep off them, you yawn as you shifted to slide off your bed, walking past the mirror to leave your room, with a quick glance while walking past it, it showed a different person in your reflection, you paused, you stepped back to look again, now puzzled, did you see that right? You look back at the mirror, seeing your reflection perfectly fine, you shook the thought off, thinking it was just you not being fully awake and your eyes were just messing with you, you left your room after that, not thinking anything further about it.
You brushed your teeth, brushed your hair, anything and everything needed to start the day, you grabbed your work clothes and your phone, glancing at the mirror again before taking a photo of it, later deciding to post it on the internet to see if anyone was willing to buy it. You left your house, locking the door, awaiting another repetitive day of your life… wasting away.
You had woke early for a reason, without your car (and the inability to afford an uber, nor risk spending any money), you had to walk to work, it was going to be a long exhausting day but that’s just life, the imbalance of it from what you could see at least.
After a long day of work, the painful exhaustion of walking home, you opened your door, dreadfully, today was worst than the last, you sighed as you went straight to your room, taking your work clothes off and jumping straight to bed, crying.
You curled up in your bed, grabbing your pillow to hold as comfort as you silently sobbed, the sun, slowly fading away from the room, dusking out that the day was nearly gone. You didn’t bother how hungry you felt, you just wanted to cry yourself to sleep, your co-workers were more aggressive today towards you, tripping you and telling you how you don’t seem to put more effort into you job as they do, it even got to the point where they’d report you to the manager, it was only worse when the manager actually believed them! You’d end up being scolded by your boss, not even he tried to listen to your side of the story, making this all the much worse to endure. You wanted to cry at work, you did during all of your lunch break, you spent the whole time crying silently in the restroom, forgetting to get at least something to eat during your time.
You just wished this whole nightmare could be over, you barely had time for your mental health, not to mention the time to do anything else to cope with the repetitiveness of reality either. You cried yourself to sleep that night, not the first of your many rests. It was however, noticed by the mirror you seemed to have forgotten about.
The mirror shimmered softly with light, the same as it did last night, unaware of it’s presence of magic, the light reached your bed, alluring you with comfort as you rested, dots of light danced around your exhausted body, giving you sweet dreams as it did last time, you smiled in your sleep, dreams overflowing in your subconscious as you slept, your body seemed more relaxed when the light tended and touched you, draining the soreness out your body, hoping you’d wake up feeling much better.
✧ • ✧ • ✧ • ✧ •✧
More often than not, you’d wake up exhilarated and refreshed from the nights before, it bothered you at first but you adjusted to it rather quickly, seeing as you always felt bursted with energy, you could take on the day and go home like you just went through hell to just sleep and wake up feeling alright again. You still haven’t had gotten any responses on anything about the mirror in your room, no one willing to offer for it, it just sat in your room collecting dust, it had been like about a month or so by now, your depressed mind never really bothered with time anymore, seeing as it was pointless, nothing really changes in your life, you don’t even bother with holidays, seeing as there was no one to celebrate with.
After many times and days going through the same thing, you crashed onto the floor in your room, laying next to the mirror. You couldn’t bother getting up into bed this time, everything just felt so tolling, your co-workers were at it again, excusing themselves with how they had families to take care of and you didn’t, they hated how you got paid the same as they did, expecting you to be rich or something by now. You hugged yourself on the floor that night, crying once again, you were facing the direction of the mirror, ignoring it in your vast of self loathing.
You just wished and craved for affection from someone, anyone, just something, anything to stop the pain you felt inside your heart but that would never come, no one cared for you as you hoped that one day they would, you fell asleep on the floor that night, crying yourself to sleep once again, no different than all the other nights that shared the same.
An emitting aura glowed softly again from the mirror, amongst your sleep, brighter than all the times than the last, this time, it didn’t try to comfort you in your sleep, no, this time, it was trying to wake you, wanting you see what it held within itself, the dots of light kissed your face, their bright auras bringing you to wake, you opened your eyes, curious from what the light source was, you sat up from the floor rubbing your eye, “what the..” you say as you blink awake now, you see the mirror glowing with a golden aura, you were bewildered from such a thing being able to happen.
You looked into the mirror before backing away, your reflection making you gasp in shock, you slowly leaned into the mirrors view, looking at your reflection again, it was so different than what you actually looked like, you looked more… demonic? it was creepy, it made your skin crawl, the light that was doting on you, floated around you, catching your attention. You raised your hand out, the little light landing in your hand, you looked and admired its radiance before it flew up and towards the mirror, going straight into it, “wha…” you said rather quietly im confusion and curiosity, the mirror glass sending waves against itself like a water drop landing into water.
You hesitated, you weren’t sure what to do in this situation, when you first got this mirror- you didn’t expect it to be fucking magical!
The mirror calmly whispered a tune, alluring you, you looked at your reflection again, it going from your human self to something else.. You reached your hand out to the mirror, touching the glass but when you did, your hand phased through it, you pulled your hand back in surprise as you watched the mirror glass ripple from movement, you shifted closer to the mirror, the golden light being the only thing that lit up your room in the dead of night.
You put your hand through the glass again, feeling more calm about it, seeing as it was safe, you smiled in fascination, it wasn’t long before someone or something grabbed your hand on the other end, you tried to pull away but it held your writ tightly, you saw a hand hold onto you, covered in black and claws that looked sharp as knives, it pulled you through as your yelp in shock and fear, closing you eyes as you expected to endure some sort of pain coming your way but you didn’t feel any, you felt the warmth of someone’s chest, your hand in theirs, his other on your back, ensuring your safety through the glass.
“Greetings, little duckling.” The man coo’d, you look up to the stranger who caught your fall in confusion, your eyes widened when you realized it was your major comfort character currently, the devil himself: Lucifer. You pushed yourself away from embarrassment, trying to look at your surroundings, seeing as you were in a massive ball room, the tiles on the floor were shining gold as the stairs were cloaked with red, “where am I?” you panic, looking at your body, seeing as your color was different and your body was less humane, “what is happening?” you ask, startled, looking at Lucifer.
He walked closer to you, “hey, it’s okay, you’re safe here, I won’t hurt you,” he reassured as he reached his hand out, patiently waiting for you to take it, you gave yourself a moment to breathe, trying to process everything, you looked at him as he smiled comfortingly at you, waiting patiently for you to take his hand, before long, you took his hand, he leaned toward your hand kissing it gently, a surge of golden light looming from the kiss to around your body. You blinked in surprise and look at your body, clothes had been changed from your work attire to something more extravagant and elegant, you were suddenly wearing a ball gown, you picked up a piece of the fabric of the dress, looking closely at the details it withheld.
“Through that mirror of yours, i’ve been watching you,” he says as he stands up straight again, holding your hand in his, you looked at him, slightly uncomfortable from that statement, his eyes widened at realization as he turned away before scratching his neck, “I mean- I don’t mean in a weird way- like- I was- I just-“ he sighed in defeat, unable to explain his situation correctly, “It’s not what it seems,” he attempts again, looking at you with soft eyes, “it’s just- that mirror is a portal, it’s a portal that only one side could see from, I don’t even have control where it goes but-“ He trails off, “look,” he says, taking both your hands now as you stare at him, patiently waiting for him to fully give you his explanation, “It was something I made long ago,” he attempts again, “I left it on earth for centuries but I still had access to it, from one end I mean.” he pauses as he turns both of you toward the portal, his hand trailing across the glass, changing the location on the other end, you watched with your mouth a-gap, in awe from how surreal this all was.
“I watched many humans through this mirror, good and bad,” he says as he shows many past memories the mirror seemed to hold, “It’s the only thing I have that shows the good in humanity… sometimes.” he says as he cracks a side smile, hoping you aren’t weirded out too much by the whole ordeal.
Letting go of Lucifer’s hand, you lifted both hands to your chest, intertwining your hands together as you walked toward the portal mirror, “so you’re saying..” you spoke as you stared at the glass, “I have a magical mirror in my room?” You ask, turning to him, your dress swaying as you turned, “yeah,” he smiles in relief that you aren’t panicking as he was, “we could go with that.” he says as he walked to you again, “I watched all the nights you cried..” he began as he looked away from your gaze, “I saw how much pain you endured everyday, it was obvious in your eyes and…” he explains to you, his demeanor changing to nervousness as he avoided your gaze, “I tried to make your nights better as you slept, hoping you’d wake up, feeling like your days would be better.” he confesses with a awkward smile on his face as he showed you the golden light in his hands, resembling the same as the light you saw glowing around the mirror in your room.
“So you’re the reason behind why I always felt better in the morning?” You ask, expecting he would confirm your answer, “Yeah.” he admits, rubbing his neck again, you walk up to him, taking his hands in yours as you raised both your hands up together with a smile and a, “thank you.” Lucifer eyes sparkled as he felt a flutter in his stomach, he sort of expected you to panic or something but this was way better, he smiled at you softly, “I saw you crying earlier, worse than ever before,” he says emphatically, he placed of your gloved hands on his shoulder, the other one held with his, his hand was placed gently on your waist as he leaned towards you, “so I thought maybe this time,” he pauses, turning you to a different direction and dipping you gracefully, “I could make your dreams a reality.” he spoke with an ever graceful smile, doting on your beauty.
Your eyes widened in wonderment as he began to move on his own, “wait- I can’t dance-“ you try to exclaim but your feet moved on your own as well, “don’t worry my dove,” he says as he looks at you with that sparkle in his eyes again, “I got you covered on that, just enjoy it, like a dream.” he comforts you, his voice soft and alluring.
He snapped his fingers and you saw a set of ducks with bow ties and orchestrated instruments appearing with them, they sat between the open space of the stairs, “fond of ducks, i see?” you ask, giving him a sided glance with a smile, he rolls his eyes playfully before taking your hands into his again, “not as fond as I am with you tonight,” he says back, smirking playfully as he guides you towards the center of the ballroom, “you’re absolutely stunning tonight.”
✧ • ✧ • ✧ • ✧ •✧
(prolly too dramatic but it was making me go insane while writing this (fluff is my kryptonite))
✧ • ✧ • ✧ • ✧ •✧
A melody began to play in the background as you let Lucifer take the lead, looking at him in awe, entranced by his charms and his smile.
He spun with you around the ball room, your dress flowing behind every move you done, you looked at your dress in wonderment, you then looked back at Lucifer who was still giving you doe eyes. You had your mouth opened slightly, still processing that this was actually happening… and with Lucifer of all people.
Watching and feeling every shift both your bodies had made, you both move left and right in circles, you yelped softly in surprise when you began to spin, one of his hands still in yours, bringing you back to him to waltz across the massive golden ballroom, you looked at him again as he gave you a toothy grin, making you smile in pure delight from this dream.
It wasn’t long until golden light began to ignite under his feet, each step he took left a trail of golden luminescence, ducks soon flipped up from under ground as if they went under water to collect food to eat, they swam across the ballroom floor as you both stared into each others eyes, lost within the melody.
You looked down at your own feet in amazement, your own steps were leaving a trail of golden light, those golden trails soon grew into buds that blossomed into lotus flowers, the flowers slowly drifted across the floor, gracefully, like they floated above water. You were mesmerized in such beauty of magic, it wasn’t long until you felt a hand trace under your chin, bringing your gaze back to Lucifer, “eyes on me, my darling.” he says with a soft smile, bringing his hand back into yours.
You felt flustered from his gesture as he sprouted out his wings, all in their grace and beauty, you looked away again as you heard him chuckle a light laugh at your reaction, he closed his eyes as he soaked in the moment, spinning you around again before bringing you in, your attention came back to him as he opened his eyes to look at you, you began to feel light, you looked away for the third time, you saw yourself floating in the air with Lucifer, you looked back at him in a little worry but it quickly vanished away as his gaze comforted you, “I got you.” he says, knowing what was running through your mind.
The golden light still trailed after you both, the ducks and lotus flowers floating up with you both in unison, you were so dazed by how pleasant you felt, your eyes locking with Lucifers, you both leaned into each other, your heads touching, closing your eyes as you began to relax and enjoy the moment, everything feeling so perfect.
You both danced in the air in sync, your steps finally moving as your own, adjusted to the dance, he reeled you out, you spinning out before spinning back in, back into his arms, his wings feathers fluttered gently as you danced in circles, in and out, left and right.
You both leaned out, hands locked as you laughed lightly, making him smile even more that you are enjoying your time with him, he brought you in before spinning you once again, back to him again before dipping you gently, ensuring you won’t fall from his grasp, his eyes were in awe as you smiled, your smile is all he wanted to see after seeing you cry so many endless nights.
He drifted you both back down, the golden lit ducks and flowers following you both as you both twirled around, heading towards the mirror, a trail of ducks and flowers blooming from you both, when you reached the mirror, he dipped you again with one hand this time, his other hand caressing your hair, a soft golden glow luminously flowed in your hair before he gently cupped your face, “until next time, mon chérie.” Lucifer says with a smile and loving eyes, kissing your head lovingly before pushing you carefully into the mirror.
You sit up quickly waking up, the sun shining through your curtains into the bedroom, you looked at your hands, your skin color back to normal, your ball gown gone, ‘it was all a dream.’ you thought, only to frown, believing it was too good to be true, you looked at the mirror on the floor, leaning on the wall as it had always been, you looked at it curiously, you threw the covers to the side, shifting out of bed to walk to it, you picked it up, seeing that your reflection was completely normal, however, a golden lotus laid in your hair, confirming that maybe, it wasn’t a dream after all…
You heard a ‘ding’ on your phone, catching your attention, you put the mirror on your bed carefully, grabbing your phone to look at the notification.
- Hey, that’s a beautiful mirror! It looks super old! antique even! How about $1,500 for it?
You smiled at the notification, that was enough for you to pay most of your bills for this month, you left a response before putting your phone back on your nightstand, picking up the mirror and leaving the room.
- Sorry but I decided not to sell it, thank you for your time though. :]
✧ • ✧ • ✧ • ✧ •✧
thank you for coming to my ted talk.
59 notes · View notes
cbtwc · 2 days
Text
¿ARE YOU DEAD?
Quackity x Depressive reader.
Tumblr media
Here you were again on the bathroom floor, whimpering and hugging yourself trying to keep quiet, even though Quackity is in a separate room in Steam, you're afraid he'll hear you even if he's too distracted to notice your sad state.
A few minutes ago you were sleeping, but you ended up waking up scared and in a cold sweat you had another nightmare of your abusive family you dreamed of all those hits, screams and abuse it is not something you want to experience again and although you know that you will never have to go back to them you are afraid even if you know they can't hurt you anymore, you're scared so here you are sobbing, your nails scratch violently at the old cut scars on his arms, you're just trying to calm down.
Then in the midst of your torment of crying, trembling and some blood dripping from your arms due to the multiple scratches, you make out his voice.
"Y/n?" He says, but you don't have the courage to lift your face so you continue hiding while he knocks on the bathroom door.
"You're going to make me pee out here," he complains, "what are you doing in there?"
You can't respond even if you try to speak nothing comes out of your throat except a soft sob and then you shake more.
"...¿Hey are you okay?" He asks now in a more attentive tone. He can sense that something is not right. He knows you better than anyone. "If you don't open in five minutes, I will come in without asking." He threatens.
"I-I'm fine" you say, but your voice is shaky, it was like a high-pitched and sad sound. He noticed that so he walks into the bathroom and looks at you sitting there on the floor looking like a mess but you're too saddened by your state to dare to look at him.
"God," he lets out a heavy sigh, this has happened before, but he still hates seeing you in this state, he doesn't like seeing you like this.
Then he helps you up by putting all your weight on his shoulder and taking you back to the room he helps you sit on the edge of the bed and kneels in front of you looking at you softly before taking your hand and stopping you from making the wounds worse.
"What happened?" He asks, trying to look you in the eyes, but you avoid eye contact, you still shake and sob. "Y/n," he sighs. "Come on, you know I hate seeing you like this. Talk to me, please." He squeezes your hand, not in an aggressive way, but in a comforting way. ? Your voice trembles a little when you finally decide to talk to him. He listens carefully while you talk and shudder as you tell your nightmare.
He doesn't like your nightmare either, the way you talk about all that mistreatment and abuse, the way you shake at the mere mention of one of your relatives' names, the way you sob at just a simple nightmare, even he feels like he could throw up at the sight. all the words that come out of your mouth
Once you finish talking he hugs you and rubs your back and you hug him back hiding your face in his shoulder you sob feeling guilty for bothering him with your silly nightmares.
"I'm sorry" you wipe away your tears breaking the hug "I don't want to keep bothering you with... with things like that" you look away and sigh.
"Y/n we've already talked about this" he sighs caressing your hand "you don't bother me" he smiles "you're counting on me okay? It's you and me if it happens to you it's my responsibility to help you even if it's something stupid like saving you "A werewolf or something" He tries to joke a little, but his gaze softens when he sees you still stressed and overwhelmed.
"Quackity, t-it's okay, y-yes?, I can deal with myself without problems... I don't want you to worry, you already have too much to worry about to worry about me" you sigh and look at him, you try to smile, he just He leans closer to you and hugs you.
"You know even if you tell me not to worry I'm going to worry anyway" he rubs your back "I just want you to be better... you're too special to me not to worry you know I appreciate you a lot and I'd hate to see you hurt." "
You hide your face in his shoulder again and hug him back, for some reason you cry again, not even you know why, but you feel peace in his arms, he gives you peace.
So you close your eyes and let his voice be your lullaby... Because you trust him.
20 notes · View notes
sjonni33 · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
this is like. super embarrassing but yeah :/ i ripped my only pair of jeans today, which really sucks :( disability support has until nov 8 to decide over my case and until then i have 0 income except from the tiny bits i scrap by. uhm if anyone could like, spare a euro maybe? i'd be very grateful. i also have things listed in my shop, some are only 1 cent (or whatever you want to pay for it), i also have some stickers here, here and here. some prints here and here . shipping is as low as it can be <3 and i also offer discount codes (use RATASSES for 5% off!!) you can also commission me!!
i'd appreciate any help, even just in the form of sharing this post or reblogging/sharing my art!!
GOAL HAS BEEN REACHED!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!
23 notes · View notes
bootyful-seventeen · 5 months
Text
i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh
#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it#she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin#all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's#all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood#and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here#and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does#so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff#when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die#and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates#cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter#grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni#she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t#so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too#and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress#when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk#i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz#cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all#grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done#unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess#it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help#like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi#and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous#and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree#at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar#without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since#we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by#i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear#its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage
11 notes · View notes
Note
late but tbh you can cut a havaneses coat down to maintainable lengths
Kovu's coat is clipped short to make it manageable for me. This has taught me two things:
1. Haircuts are always an option, and are underutilized in breeds with coats that are difficult to maintain. Especially in communities that are weird about haircuts.
2. Haircuts are maintenance, and the physical/emotional/financial cost to maintain them is different for everyone. For me, that cost is incredibly high.
I will never regret Kovu, but I didn't know what the compromise of his coat care meant until I lived it. Now I know, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that I will never get a dog with grooming needs this high or higher again.
16 notes · View notes
Response
Thank you to Jade/Lolthia @/edens-gemstone for replying to the previous post. I will make an exception in replying as yes, there was a part I forgot to add, which is additional evidence to prove that all your accusations in the comments below are completely false. Allow me to address them one by one.
At the end, I will include some follow-up questions to add additional context for other users.
Tumblr media
THE ACCUSATIONS
“Also you literally stalked my tumblr after this, rb posts about Adam that I wasn’t comfy being rb and possibly sent me harassing anons (idk for sure)”
I do not have a Tumblr. This account is made by someone else, posting on my behalf. But if you really are confident that it’s me reblogging these posts and sending harassing anons, post the blog and the anons. If you don’t know for sure, why did you post this? 
“You literally just… didn’t want me included because I wouldn't let you ship your OC with Ibara.”
Tumblr media
As seen here, this claim is completely false. I explicitly mentioned that I had no problems with the pairing, but asked them to let me know prior next time to ensure the RP is consistent. I may have vaguely talked about an original story I was writing with my OC and Ibara outside of RP, but within the context of the RP, I have clearly stated that I was fine with the direction Lolthia wanted. 
None of what they had mentioned was communicated to me at all before the start of the RP. They didn’t even acknowledge what I said, just responding with ‘well I figured it would be obvious’.
Lolthia’s behaviour here is consistent with their stated intention in the previous post: to RP not because they want to collaborate, but because they want other writers to expend time and effort to fulfil their self-ship fantasies, without giving as much in return. Therefore, they didn’t bother giving context, let alone asking if their RP partners were okay with it.
Tumblr media
“You even stopped our RP after getting mad about me dating Ibara.”
Lolthia stopped the RP themselves after I confronted them for ranting on their public blog about a communication issue they were unhappy with in this server.
Tumblr media
Someone alerted me that they were talking about their RP server on their blog. I was concerned about those in the server who were on Tumblr. As their RP partner, I requested that they delete it and talk to us first in the future. We then had the following conversation.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The conversation ended with this rude remark and Lolthia proceeded to be inactive for a long time before starting the argument in the previous post.
“I got tired of constant pings asking me for stuff”/ “I… asked to stop being pinged because I was going through enough”
I need you to understand that you are the admin of the server. We needed your help to create threads to hold our RPs in. Instead of not saying anything when we pinged you only to throw a tantrum about it, why didn’t you pass the permissions or moderator roles to someone else, or at least notify us that you’d be inactive for a certain amount of time?
In the post where we were planning an RP and pinged you - If your interpretation of ‘maybe they can come in later to keep the narrative consistent’ is us excluding you, that’s honestly a you problem, mate.
TO LOLTHIA/JADE
Only one of the claims you have made against me is correct. Yes - presently, I do not like you. But it’s not because you are whatever you identify as, or that you ship with a specific character.
I do not like you because you vagued your own server members, including myself, on your public blog. When I found out and asked you to edit out the mention of our server at minimum, you still had the gall to try to convince me it didn’t affect anyone but yourself.
I do not like you for insulting my friends and I as writers by saying we were ‘just an alternative to character.AI’ all along. And as people, by comparing us to the hate anons who had sent you death threats when we did nothing of the sort. Then, twisting the above into these accusations, without a shred of proof to go with them. 
I am a ROLEPLAYER. Ibara to me is no more than a character and piece of intellectual property.
You: 
Explicitly conveyed that your position was to use us to help you get validation for your alleged ‘relationships’ in a similar way to Character.AI.
Took out your jealousy towards other fandom members onto us, even getting emotional when we merely talked about and shared screenshots of characters you liked. 
When we didn’t give you attention to your liking, accused us of ostracising you and wanting you dead.
Threw a tantrum at us for pinging you for basic admin duties as the server owner, because it wasn’t attention or praise.
The only irrational one here is not myself, but you, and the hard evidence in these two posts is overwhelming.
I won’t be entertaining any further responses. Please be reminded that any attempt to post my personal information publicly will be met with action by me.
TO OTHER USERS
Q: Did you make both these posts and the document? 
No, these posts are follow-ups to the document containing evidence, made by a different person. 
Q: Why did you feel the need to engage them rather than leave the server?
We had already talked only amongst ourselves, ignored any vents they had and began our own server long before these events.
Engaging them was at first a personal choice to defend my friends, who had done nothing wrong. At the time, I was not aware that this was common behaviour for them.
The comparison between us and the death threat anons, which could affect my friends’ reputations, was the most compelling reason for me to attempt straightening this out.
Q: Why has this post been made almost a year later?
Yes, I do agree that from the looks of it, Lolthia’s actions are old news. After I was informed, I personally did not want anything to do with them, and decided to let it go.
However, recently, my friends in the same fandom spaces have not had the luxury of curating their own online experiences because according to them, they are constantly remaking blogs. Furthermore, it was not easy for them to work up the courage to make this post, as being wrongfully accused of wanting someone’s death is not easy for anyone. So, I decided to back them up with the hard evidence they lacked.
Thank you for reading. 
#ok to reblog#ok to rb#I may as well also say something in the tags (I am the one posting on someone else's behalf):#I myself hope this is the last post made on here as well. There is nothing more to add honestly.#This is honestly getting tiring. I know you will read this Jade one way or another. You will come across it.#If you have evidence for the contrary and can prove that you are in the right please do so (I already know you can't).#You will claim to be 'harrassed' but that is not our intention (anyone sending you harrassment or threats is not behavior we tolerate).#(Also no we are sending no one after you nor 'stalk your blog'. Don't act as if we don't have anything better to do... Because we do)#Let me tell you a secret Jade: You are NOT important. We only had enough of your behavior online since it does not change. At all.#It affects others - It affected us and it is affecting the communities you are in as well as a good portion of their members.#Please let it go already. But you can't. Because... As you said yourself 'Any attention is good attention'.#And some of your current mutuals will try to say 'it adds fuel to the fire'. This is not the intention in any way.#The only intention is to document Jade's online behavior and warn others. Because they have already gone too far.#This is to document and prove that they are no different no matter where they go. We only want to spread awareness.#It is not just me and the other person who are sick of it. Many others are sick of it as well. We want it to stop.#Their actions affect others nowadays as well. Only last month there was yet another incident heavily affecting another person.#Why? Because Jade thought it was necessary to make a 'callout post'. Even though the situation was long over.#This should have been long over and everyone involved is trying to move on. But you Jade make it impossible. This has gone on far enough.#Not to mention having been exposed to your drama and graphic vents (which at least sound suicide baity) have also stressed me out.#I kept out of the drama but it was affecting my mental state as well. All because you manage to land yourself into so many controversies.#I moved blogs because I had enough of your shit. Seeing it day in and out does a lot to a person.#'But no one cares about me' - We do not wish you ill (that is the truth) but this has to stop somehow. You are not the victim here.#It's always others but honestly... Given how much shit you got yourself into maybe you are to blame. This isn't normal after all.#Maybe ask yourself what you are doing wrong. But you won't. You never will. You will paint us as 'the bad ones' here.#That's the only thing you know how to do. You cannot owe up to anything and you are proving it time and time again. Even now.#Why do you get defensive now and not when the document dropped? Because there is solid evidence for your bullshit. That's why. You know it.#Deleting because you will throw a temper tantrum? No. Forget it. But again if you have proof for your claims come forward.#To me personally if you wish. But beware: This is not the first time I have dealt with this bullshit. I know this behavior all too well.#You are pulling bullshit I have already seen. My advice is to just log off already and sort your problems out.#This is not the first time I dealt with your type. You show the pattern I honestly expect and you will react as I expect.
6 notes · View notes
quietwingsinthesky · 24 days
Text
ohhhh u know what i wanna write. need to, even. very important to do it at some point. but i think i really do need to make the doctor have a meltdown. i think that would be very cathartic to put them through.
#whump but autism flavored. for me.#i mean i imagine that he has been having them just off-screen when the worse adventures are over#can keep it together as long as he’s running because he can focus on something else and. then when he is not it all hits at once.#the doctor curled on the tardis floor because he can hear her engine vibrating through it and its the only sensation that isnt causing him#physical pain to experience at the moment#i need him to go thru some shit okay. never enough fics in the autistic doctor tag on ao3#skmeone remind me to outline this in the morning. gotta pick which doctor to do it to. which companion to be with him.#i am feeljng ten & donna but that could change#oh on that note: thinks about 14 having meltdowns about. ‘normal things’.#local man who has saved the world a thousand times suddenly finds out that grocery store lighting is intensely stressful and makes him want#to cry. despite all contradicting evidence that this is happening to him is a good thing.#means he’s recalibrating slowly to allow his body to be upset by things like that rather than pushing all of it down to be set off by#the world nearly exploding or someone he loves getting hurt. instead he can get overwhelmed by small things and feel safe that if he reacts#to that. nothing bad will happen to him while he’s having a meltdown. ohhhhh donna bringing him a weighted blanket because he went to hide#in his tardis after comjng home and not saying a word to anyone…..#okay im done i swear im done.
6 notes · View notes
batgeance · 6 months
Text
god bruce fucking hates talking to wayne execs and financial advisors
8 notes · View notes
nateriverswife · 1 year
Text
someone teach Near not to be afraid of getting close to others
Tumblr media
50 notes · View notes
zomb1edude · 7 months
Text
Every day I reach my language learning limit where I am just Done for the day and English is like a warm blanket to return to, but then every day I see more posts and memes in finnish and I am simply too curious to not attempt to read them
#just ranting in the tags lol nothing serious ok to rb#gah. the talking today was so stressful bc like. i vaguely know (some) grammar but I don't know it well enough to apply it in the moment#i forget all these rules all the time i really said mä oon opiskelen suomea but tbf i have a shake grasp of these rules at the best of times#since im just kind of picking it up from what ppl write and not like through some official learning source#which i HAVE.tons of resources. i just dont be reading about grammar in my free time unfortunately that is not my preferred leisure activity#*closes the uusikielemme page* well most of the time i dont at least#also. im so sad when school starts up i wont have the time to be learning so avidly#im lowkey kinda shunning my lame ass college responsibilities because im hyperfixating on finnish so much rn lmao#like holy shit ive made so much progress in such a short amount of time!!#but like 2 months ago i didn't know anything in finnish other than kiitos amd the lyrics to some käärijä songs!!!#much less what a partitive form was#or anything grammar related at all i used to just pass out at the sight of it#so yeah im sad i wont be learning as much but i need to remember this hyperfixation state is Not the norm#and even if i learn slower thats still cool as shit#besides when school starts i can still practice my reading by looking at shitposts in between classes thats really all i do anyway#(shhhh its totally studying)#and post my stupid little jokes of course. stupid little jokes my beloved <3#anyway i dont expect anyone to read all this lmao but hi. ur looking great today go treat urself to one of the worlds small delights#i just be having thoughts that i need to scream into the void but yeah#have a good day lol#learning finnish#the undead speaks
10 notes · View notes
parapsychoiogy · 19 hours
Text
turns out the manager i was scared shitless hated me doesnt hate me im just an idiot who doesnt understand social interactions
2 notes · View notes
milo-is-rambling · 7 days
Text
I wish I had friends near meeeeeee to distract me from my brainnnnnnnnnn
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
#need to talk to anyone irl who isn’t related to me or dating my mom or my therapist#anyone else near me please I’m losing my mind#nature isn’t healing me sleeping in a fully dark room all day isn’t healing me how do I magically fix this without having to put any work#into it oh I can’t oh u have to do the work okay how do I do that. therapy once a week. oh. okay. yup.#can I speedrun it? oh no? I can’t. oh damn. okay fine whatever. therapy once a week. AND I HAVE TO ACTUALLY LISTEN AND DO WHAT SHE SAYS. bro#what the hell okay fine#well here I am !!!!! where is the fixing where is the feeling better I feel like all I do is stir up all these touch emotions from every#part of my life at once and then she sends me off to rot for week before I come back and talk again#I just feel like I’m losing it!!!!! and ik it’s extra bad bc birthday countdown is on in my brain and im stressed and i feel like a huge#fuck up that can never be fixed and like I will die having done nothing with my life except weigh other people down and so exhausting and my#brain won’t ever shut up like yes I get it years and years and years of built up shit that I never properly dealt with and still hold blame#for constantly and I feel like I will never be fixed like I CANT be fixed like this is a losing battle and I just am struggling today man#idk what I was saying I just took my morning weed hit to try and relax my back a little and now my brain is like scrambled eggs#which is good that means it’s working#I’m gonna try to take a nap maybe cause I only slept four hours and it was like choppy thru the night and then maybe I’ll go to the lake#later I’ve been feeling the need to be in a body of water recently
2 notes · View notes
tinyangelmatcha · 6 months
Text
I’m actually be making progress towards getting a real therapist and psychiatrist! My current team is an absolute joke and I want to fire them if that’s possible.. they’ve done nothing for me and honestly have made the situation worse I feel like. I’m going to have an appointment with my gp soon so I can tell her what’s going on and she can get me some referrals that my team is refusing to do.
#I really don’t even know how to describe this situation in the last year and a half with them but it’s been so awful#I’ve mentioned before a bit but I had a social worker and a nurse and a volunteer coach#I thought she was going to be a job coach because I told them I want help w that and they gave me someone who can only help me get volunteer#work and she’s been useless at that too#the social worker seemed nice but was secretly an absolute asshole#he would constantly bring new people into the meetings who I was unfamiliar with#and then present my whole story aka all the things wrong with me and what I’m going thru to the whole group#and I’d sit there miserable in a room full of men who don’t understand autism or me#they insisted on me coming into the office even tho they knew how much stress that added#when I would try to open up to him about something he would just say oh that sounds hard#like no advice no comforting just bland dumb responses showing he doesn’t care or doesn’t know what to say#the other guy was always just rude#and demeaning#and wouldn’t even ask about meds ever even tho that’s what he was supposed to be doin#I’m so frustrated with the whole thing#they are all just so incompetent at their jobs and it shows#they don’t give a shit about me and probs not anyone else they are treating#do they even do treatment? I still don’t understand the POINT of their organization#or what they were even supposed to be able to do for me#they did nothing and they made it so I couldn’t get other help because they were too lazy and stupid to refer me. I’m so mad
5 notes · View notes
beomgyutruther · 2 months
Text
.
#snapped at my mom because im stressed about my preboard results and then i apologized and explained that i was rly stressed and accidentally#lashed out and she started saying that im always rude to her and taking my stress out on her ??? and that i never do this to my dad#and then she said i never talk to her about anything even though she's the only one who does everything for me yet i still dont talk to her#and well. maybe if she didnt tell my brother 'if u do this u will end up like ur sister in the future. u dont want to fail in life right ?#then dont do this' (nearly exact words) when she was scolding him . i mean maybe then i would actually want to talk to her#and it sucks because i cant rly talk to anyone irl about this because i still feel scared that they'll like. judge my mom#because i still love her a lot and dont want people to think badly about her#but its getting harder ! to exist here ! and the fact that i am constantly used as an example of what my brother should NOT be#especially when i work this hard partly because i want to be someone my brother can look up to#and to have that come from my own mother . it's really hurtful and makes me feel like nothing i ever do will be enough for her#not to mention the fact that i have come out to her 4 times and she still constantly asks me if it's just a phase#<- i thought that part was getting better but apparently not#but i've stopped expecting anything from anyone in that respect so it doesn't really come as a surprise lmao#anyway rant over i just needed to get that off my chest because i really dont know how long i can keep crying and then forcing my voice#to be normal so that no one asks what happened because wow it is taking a toll on me! who knew#do noooot perceive this
2 notes · View notes