#It's not certain I'll post the other chapters in their entirety here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

where-i-overanalyze · 1 year

Text

conquering the Soul Eater manga timeline

this can be an open discussion because i haven't read Not and i unfortunately cannot get my hands on any officially translated volumes, so if there's anything that proves my alignments wrong, feel free to tell me and i'll update this!!! i break the timeline up by month and what year of the story we are in. i'm not doing math and not considering the exact days and alignments for what day of the week the dates are lining up on, that is something i am not willing to put myself through. this is post is long af, so if you don't care about all of my explanation, i'll put a summary of the timeline at the end for easy reading.

admittedly, the beginning half of the manga is easier to label because this is when we get some distinct timeframes, but it is still a horror. because of this, i'm going to use this as a reference to how time passes with the other events in the manga. i'll be referencing the Soul Eater wiki as a basic guide as much as i can and scouring the manga for any hints about how time is passing for everything else. honestly, if the second half of the manga was speed run, the entirety of Soul Eater could take place less than a year. i don't think that is the case purely because of the pace at the beginning of the manga, so let us begin.

November (1)

this is where everything starts: the prologue chapters, the remedial lesson with Sid and Stein, Kid enrolling in the DWMA. there is no specific day in which this all starts, the wiki says it's just "after October 31st," so i'm going to start us off on exactly November 1st for the beginning of all of this. every one of these events could easily be happening within the first two weeks of November.

following this, realistically it would be a day or two before Maka and Soul take on the extra lesson where they meet Crona. Soul gets slashed and, according to my google search, wounds that are large or "surgery incisions" usually take about 1 week to stop being super inflamed. total healing times vary, but i'll say that since weapons are kinda human kinda not, that Soul would be able to be up and walking around somewhat normally in about a week, maybe less. last week of November can be when Masamune and Tsubaki's fight takes place, so this is our entire first November stacked up.

December (1)

strong start! and from here on out, the timeline gets confusing. wiki says chapters 10-15 take place from December-February. this includes the Free jailbreak, the super exam, and the whole Nidhogg and Black Dragon mission for Kid. in the next chapter (15), we're at the DWMA Foundation Eve ceremony which is supposed to take place . . . on April 1st.

this is one of the very few times we're given an exact date (Chapter 32), so i'm using it as an anchor for everything else. i'm also going to assume that these students sometimes have days off and breaks and have "normal" school life to a certain extent. i'm also going to assume that they have some sort of winter holiday off, whether it's some sort of Christmas or Yule or just the New Year doesn't matter; what actually matters is that they would get probably 2 or more weeks off of school because of it. they're in Nevada, which means that it is (maybe? probably?) the New years that is on January 1st.

let's say December starts with Chapter 9. it opens with the Witch's Mass where Medusa puts the snakes in Eruka. then it cuts to Soul having a general check-up on his wound. Stein gives Black☆Star the jar of funky water that will strengthen his soul for the phantom sword mode. for the sake of stretching this out to something reasonable, i'm going to say that this check-up takes place at least one week after the Witch's Mass, because Eruka trying to confront Medusa takes place the same day as the check-up and i doubt Eruka would have shown up to confront her like the day after the mass. after this, i want to say that the Free jail and bridge plot takes a while to set up, but . . .

tomorrow. god, i have never hated a word more. this speeds up the entire chain of events with fighting Free on the bridge. i'd say that it takes 2-3 days to break Free out, for Maka and Soul's wavelength to get messed up, and then they fight on the bridge. this puts us at week 2 of December. Maka's hands are fucked up after the fight and Soul makes a comment about how he'll have to make dinner for a while by the looks of her hands, so i'm exploiting that and saying that is when DWMA has their "winter holiday break." while all of that is happening, Crona is harvesting souls and stuff w/ Ragnarok (shown at the end of Chapter 11). i'll say that this is all in preparation for the Nidhogg in a bit.

January & February (1)

and now, we do a little time exploitation. let's say they come back to school the 2nd week of January. Maka's healed, everyone's back, wahoo!! Chapter 12 is the super written exam, and this is where my exploitation comes in.

test in one week, Maka's already been studying for a whole month. i'm imagining the first day back from winter break goes something like this: Stein walks into the room, writes "Super Written Exam" on the chalkboard, slaps it and yells "THIRD WEEK OF FEBRUARY," and Maka goes home that day and immediately starts studying. i know Maka's a nerd and reasonably was studying the whole year and between missions and whatever, but this is for my sanity. scores probably took a whole day to come out and be posted. anyone below Soul (Kid, Liz, Patty, and Black☆Star) had to take extra lessons, so those probably took up the remaining week of February.

March (1)

i am deeming March as the month of nothing but the Nidhogg mission. after the Nidhogg mission and Ragnarok eating all the souls on that boat, it's Kishin revival time at the party, which means the Nidhogg mission needs to be right at the end of March b/c then Kid knows about the Kishin being under the school and i doubt he sat on that information for a super long time or else he would've gone to investigate.

April (1)

April fools, it's Kishin awake time!! this covers Chapter 16-22 and it's got all the fun stuff: the first Crona redemption, the first Medusa death, and Lord Death calling together all of the Death Scythes. this is also supposedly the time when Maka checks out the Book of Eibon from the library, so i'm making the call that she did it after she connected with Crona and before the Death Scythes arrived b/c her purpose for taking it was because she wanted to know more about black blood and Medusa's research and somehow ended up there.

i really can't put a guess on how long it takes the Death Scythes to get to Death City because the speed at which people travel across entire countries in Soul Eater is insane. Kid flew from Egypt to Nevada and back within a day on his skateboard, there is no explanation i can come up with. for the sake of my sanity, let's say that it takes at least a week or two for the Death Scythes to get here b/c they have to find arrangements to take over whatever positions they had at their previous stations. the students are also recovering from various injuries and the city is rebuilding from the fight between Lord Death and Asura

these panels make it seem like at least the DWMA has gone on a break for a bit because of all the Kishin junk and that the Death Scythes arrived the day before school was resuming. let's say that the "tomorrow" is going to start the Monday of the third week of April.

this puts Crona's trial day of school as the Monday of the last week of April since Maka's day with her dad already happened (presumably the day before). Crona's been in the dungeon ever since April 1st, and their trial day is the same day that Arachne makes her first appearance (which is pretty rough smh, first day out of prison and you meet your evil aunt?? damn). this is all happening in Chapters 23-26.

from this point on, Maka's completely paralyzed for . . . an undisclosed amount of time. we've got Black☆Star's second run-in with Mifune maybe a day or two after Maka is set up in the infirmary at the DWMA. i used to think that the candy Black☆Star got from Mifune somehow cured her, but i have now realized that's not the case because,

May (1)

the party Kid hosts that is interrupted by the runaway train happens on the same day Maka comes back to class for the first time. Azusa says that the runaway train mission happened on May 21st (in Chapter 38), which ultimately means that, according to the timeline we've got going, Maka was in the infirmary for almost the entirety of May. this truly does make sense since, in that time, Medusa took over Rachel and Rachel's family had enough time to put up missing posters for her. May 21st is also when Medusa makes her appearance to Crona and everything starts going bad for them, which means Medusa had enough time to get in contact with Eruka again. Kid then seems to spend the rest of May after the runaway train looking for information about Eibon.

June (1)

this is the point of no return, this is the last specific date the wiki has. after June 1st, we are absolutely in the dark as to when tf anything happens (according to the wiki), so i'm probably going to get even more picky about the details. June 1st is when Kid is in the library and realizes that the Book of Eibon has been checked out. a day or two after that, Crona gets the snake and puts it in Marie's drink. all of that happens in Chapter 32, and in Chapter 33 we've got the group soul resonance lesson.

time exploitation time, Stein says "in the near future," so i will take that to mean "in a week" because that is the near future. a week after the group lesson, it's Lost Island Brew Tempest mission time. i'll say that the Brew mission happens on like in the middle of the second week of June (this also makes me realize that they don't have summer break! smh! i guess evil never rests, but whatever). this covers Chapters 34-37, Lord Death immediately calls for BJ after the Brew missions. i'll say that it takes BJ a few days to get to DWMA and his investigation takes place sometime in the third week of June. this happens on a day during the school week because Kid and Black☆Star have their fight where Kid absolutely demolishes Black☆Star, and Maka leaves her "Maka notes" at school and ends up overhearing a conversation between Crona and Eruka.

Maka Notes. anyways, Black☆Star gets suspended and goes to Japan with Tsubaki, BJ gets murdered, Stein is set up to be the murderer and he leaves with Marie to find the really culprit, and Crona leaves the DWMA all on the same day. a lot happens that day, RIP BJ, lived for two chapters. Crona was only at school for about two months, and one of those months was full of being worried about Medusa being alive!! makes me sad

July (1)

after that specific day, i feel like Chapters 41-43 have to take place in the tail end of June, if not the beginning of July. everyone has extracurricular lessons, Medusa surrenders herself, and Kim and Jackie run away from DWMA within a day or two after Chapter 43 now that everyone's extracurricular lessons are done. three days after Medusa surrenders herself, operation Capture Baba Yaga happens, which covers . . . Chapters 46-60. this is where things get even more uncertain for when things happen. there is an "unknown time skip" after Baba Yaga finishes up. i will be basing this time skip off of Black☆Star's insane amount of wounds that he has to recover from after killing Mifune (rip Mifune, wish he had lived tbh).

Black☆Star's fingers are MANGLED. he has other injuries from this fight, but i think it's those fingers that are gonna give us the best bet as to how long the time skip actually is. we see some stuff right after the battle with Justin and Giriko, then probably 2-3 days after that (putting us at the end of the first week of July), Kim and Angela are granted permission to stay with the DWMA, and Stein and Marie confront Justin, providing me with my absolute favorite panels of the manga.

anyways.

we see Black☆Star's fucked up in Chapter 61, he's got his finger cast on, again this is probably 2-3 days after Baba Yaga, still at the end of that first week of July. with Black☆Star's broken fingers, we continue on.

August & September (1)

my google search says that "fractured fingers typically take 6-8 weeks to heal, but can take up to 3-4 months to fully regain strength." i won't say that it takes 3-4 months for Black☆Star's hand to heal, mainly b/c he wouldn't be able to stay inactive for that long, but i think the 6-8 weeks is reasonable considering those fingers were obliterated. people in Soul Eater heal pretty fast and Black☆Star is super strong, so we can settle on a solid 8-10 weeks before Black☆Star is healed enough and had some physical therapy to be sort of back in action in Chapter 62. all of the other students seem to be full healed and adjusted to this schedule they've got (Ox has also grown out his bald ass head, so that's another time indication). enough time needs to have passed for Maka and Soul to have acquired 99 souls for Soul to become a death scythe. they probably had gotten some souls in the gaps between actual events and whatnot, so it's not like they're going 0-99 in a matter of 10 weeks. so, we come into Chapter 62 at around the end of the third week of September with Stein and Marie returning after beating tf outta Justin, Black☆Star is well and healed, Soul becomes a Death Scythe, and the Spartoi is officially formed.

from here, we get Maka and Soul practicing flying and abilities now that Soul is a Death Scythe and we have Gopher and Noah's forces showing up. this is definitely the next day, maybe two days, so i'm gonna say that this is that start of a new week. it seems that everyone is kind of just spending time to train and get stronger in preparations for whenever the next move from the opposing side happens.

this both emphasizes the fact that everyone is spending time getting stronger, and it also makes it clear that the other members of the Spartoi aren't on the Witch's Research mission while Maka is training and fighting in Chapters 63-65. Chapter 65 ends with a glimpse of Medusa telling Crona that they're going to start moving forward with her plan, and i will say that this ends September.

October (1)

full honesty, i can't tell how long it's been between Chapter 65 and Chapter 66. it obviously is after the run in with Gopher, but how long? i don't know!! for some reason, Maka was not assigned the Witch's Research mission even though they were looking for Medusa and her lab, which probably could be good for her high ability soul perception.

i get it, she wasn't assigned, but this whole mission consists of the rest of Maka's resonance team (minus Kid b/c he's stuck in the book) and team B, minus Ox and Harvard. maybe it was purely to play around with different team dynamics since Kilik wields Liz and Patty in Kid's absence (i'm also pretty sure they say that Kilik has the same type of ability as Stein when it comes to matching with weapons' wavelengths and whatnot). anyways, i think this whole mission probably happens over halfway into October for a few reasons.

firstly, Black☆Star being healed earlier doesn't mean he was Fully ready for missions yet. his appearance in Chapter 62 was probably his test to see if he was physically ready to take something on again. this seems to be his first mission after being recovered, so i'd say that the new Spartoi group had to do some adjusting now that everyone is ready to go by then. secondly, Gopher attempted to assassinate Maka, which probably put the DWMA more on alert since it's an enemy they haven't even seen before this point. this also might be why Maka isn't on this mission. they wanted to make sure that this mission went off without a hitch, they didn't want to rush into it so they super planned it, and it worked for the most part. lastly, Medusa said "It's time, Crona" at the end of Chapter 65. she probably already had preparations for all of this stuff, but i feel like since this is also her "reappearance" with Crona and her clown experiments, it works as a "time to get things moving" rather than "we're starting this right now." we also have no indication as to when tf she even says that, so it could be right after Maka's attempted assassination, or it could actually be right before the mission!!! with all of that, i am dubbing the Witch's Research (Chapters 66-68) mission to have happened at the end of the third week of October.

after all of this happens, Chapter 69 (nice) gives us some random school life where Soul is getting "Partner Requests" from other students, which also supports my idea that this happens late October rather than right after Maka's run-in with Gopher, because now Soul's been a Death Scythe long enough for the younger students to start trying to fuck around with Maka and Soul's partnership (unrelated but there's also some insane foreshadowing about Medusa's fuckin death in this chapter?? i might have to make my own short post about that b/c it's crazy to me). this picks up right after the Witch's Research mission (i think) because Black☆Star brings in Eruka in to Lord Death to help retrieve Kid from the Book of Eibon. there's a bunch of "one day earlier" and "the appointed day" when they're talking about performing the magic to send the Spartoi into the Book of Eibon, so for my mental health, i'm going to say that the Witch's Research team takes a day to get back, brings in Eruka the next day and Maka confesses to checking out the Book of Eibon, and then they perform the ritual to get the Spartoi in the book, which puts Chapters 69-72 in the third week of October (Kid's in the book for over two months!).

as for the entire Salvage arc, Chapters 72-81, once again there is little-to-no time indication as to how long it takes the Spartoi to get through the Book of Eibon. the DWMA teachers show up at Noah's hideout by the time the Spartoi are able to get Kid out, it's night time, but who knows!! i'm assuming that it's a mission that takes only one day based off of the fact that the witches and other Spartoi members that didn't go in the book are still hanging around the site of the ritual where the Spartoi entered even after the teachers have left to confront Justin and Noah.

good news tho, Maka was pretty injured, which means that i can use her wound healing as a basis for time passing!! we get a lot of exposition from Lord Death, Kid, and Stein in Chapter 82, then we find out Tezca didn't die, and then we see Crona in Moscow fighting the Death Scythe stationed there. and no time indication. i'm assuming that since Kid apologizes to Lord Death for being missing and he's still wearing his little white coat, that all of their conversation must be right after they get back from that mission, which i think is probably the morning after their fight with Noah since they fought at night. this keeps all of their convo in the third week of October. as for Moscow . . . we must now return to Maka's wounds from Chapter 76.

Maka gets kinda fucked up here by Giriko. even if it is a soul wavelength thing and meister's are super fit b/c of training and whatnot, Giriko is literally a chainsaw. she fights when they get out of the Book of Eibon, but i'm going to chalk that up the definite adrenaline she's feeling because she collapses as soon as that fight is over. google says that minor lacerations take less than 2 weeks to heal and major ones take 6-8 weeks to heal. i am realizing now as i type this that Kim's witch abilities could probably heal a lot of people faster (including Black☆Star earlier which i will choose to IGNORE b/c there still had to be enough time for Maka and Soul to get 99 souls) but i think i will choose to ignore that because i don't think the DWMA wants to use her like a school nurse.

November (2)

i want to say that it's been at least 3 weeks, if not a whole month. even if the timeline is fucked, if someone was really injured in the manga, there always seems to be enough time given to them to heal between big acts of the story. it's always kind of obvious when things happen back to back and Medusa probably makes adjustments to the black blood between missions, so i think that it's reasonable to give Maka the time to properly heal from those wounds. she and Soul look pretty casual in those panels, meaning they're able to have some down time.

also, that puts us at officially a whole year since the beginning; we're at the third week of November with Maka's healing time. we won't be over two years for the whole timeline since we're near the end, which kind of surprises me, but whatever. anyways, by the time Crona does their blood thing in Moscow, it seems that Maka has fully recovered from the Giriko fight. Maka, Soul, Kim, Jackie, and Stein go to Moscow after Crona does their blood orb thing, which is probably the day after it happens by the time they get there. it's also snowing in Moscow, and my google search says that it usually starts snowing in Russia around October-November, so that tracks. everyone finds out that the Ukraine blood orb happens while they're in Moscow. Justin shows up at the Ukraine blood orb during the day and Tezca gets decapitated, so some time has passed since the orb appeared b/c there is a significant lack of security and helicopters shown when it first appeared.

full disclaimer: things get very confusing after this point and i'm going to take some liberties to make things make sense. Kid confronts Lord Death about some raids that the DWMA have been doing in order to get people to find the Kishin, and then we see him go to the Lost Island to talk to Eibon, but then we also see Kid on the Lost Island while Crona kills Medusa, and then after Crona kills Medusa . . . Maka, Soul, Black☆Star, and Tsubaki are in some random village helping them hunt down a sky whale??? then, after they return and it's revealed that Crona has been added to Lord Death's list, Kid comes back from the Lost Island???? and then there is, presumably, some sort of a time skip because we see everyone preparing for the missions AND there has been enough time to build an entire air ship.

i'll tackle the air ship last. first, i'm going to put a definite order for the events i just listed b/c they don't make sense. Kid's trip to the Lost Island is shown across multiple chapters (Justin killing Tezca, Crona killing Medusa, and the sky whale mission, which is Chapter 86-88) that talk about things that do not seem to be happening at the same time, so i'm taking advantage of this. Kid's mission being interspersed means that Tezca's and Medusa's death happen before Kid is actually in the Lost Island. i think it all goes something like this: Justin goes to the Ukraine blood orb, kills Tezca, skip a day or so and Crona returns to Medusa and kills her, the raid Kid asks about happens and the news comes out (via newspaper Kid is holding in Chapter 86), then he says he's going to the Lost Island. that probably takes at least a single day to prep. going to say that by the time Kid is actually on his way to the Lost Island, it is the 1st of December.

December (2)

Kid can only be in the magnetic field for 20 minutes, so he is on the Lost Island the same day Maka and the gang deal with the sky whale, because that's the day they find out Crona's been added to Lord Death's list and Maka senses the Kishin on the moon, and then they have to plan how to get to the moon. from there, we have the preparation time skip and, according to my google search, it takes usually over a year to build an air ship/blimp.

there's no way it took the entire DWMA that long to build the air ship purely b/c 1) if it had taken a whole year, i'm pretty sure it would've been mentioned, 2) fantasy type world, DWMA has magic tools in the air ship, so there were probably some magic tools involved in the actual making of the ship, 3) the Spartoi search for Crona and train while the whole time the DWMA was preparing and planning, and i really doubt it took Maka a whole year to think about the church and, honestly, that Crona could survive on their own for a year without being noticed again (both because they're crazy and probably can't take care of themself very effectively, and that people were probably on the look out for another "black blood" event and nothing ever surfaced).

Crona hasn't been seen "since the incident in Russia," which means the DWMA has been looking, but they've gone radio silent in regards to causing any problems. Maka has been trying to see the whole world at once this entire time, so she's getting sensory soul overload, and probably can't do a search like that super often, maybe once every other day or so to try and actually get results that make any sense.

considering all of this, i turn back to the construction of the air ship. this is a mission that is extremely important, so the DWMA is putting a lot of power and planning into it. there is no previous mention (that i know of) of an airship owned by DWMA, so i'm assuming they're starting from the ground up with the help of any magic tools that speed up the process. with that, i and going to say that the air ship took AT LEAST a month to build, probably more than that.

January (2)

magic tools or not, you can't prevent all general workplace construction errors with better tools. maybe the DWMA did already have an air ship, maybe it didn't actually take that long, but it makes the most sense to me with the evidence given. there's the point to be made that "oh, why would the Kishin not come attack them if they're all just spending the time building a blimp?" Stein makes a point of saying that it would be "disadvantageous" for the Kishin to leave the moon because he still gets to spread madness from there whether they fight or not. i really doubt they'd be able to cut down an entire construction process that usually takes upwards of a year to anything less than a month. it can't be too quick because then the plans to go to the moon and find Crona would be too hasty and ill-prepared. the negotiations with the witches also began before the DWMA attacked the moon (Chapter 97). plus, i'm going to use this panel as a way to confirm to myself that things did take a bit of time to prepare.

"finally" meaning that those moon bitches had to wait a while before DWMA got to the moon. from here, we're basically at the end. even if the air ship took less or more than a month, the entire manga finishes up with the battle on the moon, which takes, at most, two days of straight fighting.

what i have decided on puts us at the very beginning of January, and that's where it ends!! Chapters 91-112 all happen within that two-ish day battle and that's where it ends. there is no 113th chapter of Soul Eater. hypothetically, if there was a 113th chapter where a funeral for Lord Death and a coronation ceremony for Kid took place, those events would probably take place within the second and third week of January.

here is the summary of the entire timeline:

November (1): very beginning of the manga, Crona and Medusa's introduction, Masamune is defeated

December (1): Medusa puts the snakes in Eruka, Free is released from witch prison and he fights Maka and gang on the bridge, winter break for the students?

January (1): essentially nothing, come back from an assumed winter break

February (1): super written exam

March (1): Nidhogg mission

April (1): Kishin revives on the eve of DWMA's anniversary, Maka befriends Crona, the Death Scythes (Maria, Azusa, and Justin) arrive, Crona trial day at school, Arachne wakes up and Maka is paralyzed, Black☆Star fights Mifune for the second time and gets the candy

May (1): Maka gets better from being paralyzed, Medusa possesses Rachel, runaway train, Medusa approaches Crona again

June (1): Kid realizes the copy of the Book of Eibon is missing, Crona puts the snake in Marie's drink, Lost Island Brew Tempest mission, BJ shows up and instantly is murdered, Crona runs away from DWMA

July (1): Maka meets the Clown in the factory, Medusa surrenders herself, Kim and Jackie run away and join Arachnophobia for a minute, Baba Yaga mission, Kid gets sucked into the Book of Eibon, Kim and Angela are allowed to stay at DWMA

August (1): everyone recovers and gets strong after Baba Yaga

September (1): Soul becomes a Death Scythe, Maka and Soul learn how to fly, Gopher tries to kill Maka

October (1): Witch's Research mission, Spartoi goes into the Book of Eibon to rescue Kid

November (2): Crona kills the Death Scythe in Moscow, Crona destroys a city in the Ukraine, Justin kills Tezca, Crona kills Medusa

December (2): Kid goes to the Lost Island to talk to Eibon, Crona is put on Lord Death's list, Maka senses the Kishin on the moon, construction of the air ship is started

January (2): Maka finds Crona in the church in Italy, the moon battle begins and ends, Lord Death dies and Kid is named the new Shinigami.

and that is the end!! if you've made it to the end of my madman rambling, please converse with me if you have any thoughts on this. DM, reblog, reply, whatever, let me know what you think. it took me multiple days to write all this up and actually look through the manga thoroughly enough to kinda figure out how and where everything happens. i did it out of pure frustration that it's hard to tell the order of things and i'm glad i found a way to make it make a bit more sense

97 notes · View notes

triangle-strategy-notes · 7 months

Text

The War Chronicle Notes are now up on the Triangle Strategy wiki! There's also full scripts for the beginning of the game thru Chapter III: Part 1, and I'm working on the rest.

Additional datamining ramblings under the readmore.

What I think is the entirety of all the text in Triangle Strategy is in this Google spreadsheet (a new one since last time). It's got:

All the dialogue from the main game (+ some cut content)

All of the character stories

The Wolffort Wedding extra story

The names of people + places, as well as all the profile blurbs (it's interesting to see how many versions some characters have, they change a lot throughout the story)

Ability, weapon, and class names

Everything in the War Chronicle including chapter headings and summaries

Lots of other little odds and ends that come from the UI

It's a LOT of data and more than a little messy due to some different sorting methods and things that I used, but feel free to take a look if there's something you want to find.

As far as the script goes, there's a lot of things I'm still not 100% sure about (mostly under what conditions who says what, because while I can see that certain pieces of dialogue are given a "scenario ID," it doesn't actually say what the conditions are for each scenario). As is the nature of wikis, anyone can go in and fix up anything that you notice is missing/inaccurate, so definitely feel free. I'll probably still be making some tweaks to the formatting on these as well.

On a different tangent, I was able to rip a bunch of images from the game as well (like the Glenbrook image in the screenshot above). I haven't really figured out what to do with all of it yet, but let me know if there's anything in particular you'd want posted here/uploaded to the wiki. There's a lot of UI stuff that could make for cool custom edits and things.

Also! Just as a blanket note, if anyone's dying to copy and paste a bunch of text, you're welcome to take the data in that spreadsheet and put up pages yourself if you want. There's a lot of it that I really don't even know what to do with, like the photos. Consider the spreadsheet public domain and go wild if there's something that sounds fun to you.

#triangle strategy #ts datamining #WHOO. there is SO much text in this game. like I knew there was. but dear god. there's so much text in this game #I just went in and did a word count and just the dialogue from the story (including some of the cut content) looks to be 224575 words #that is a book!!!!! a long book!!!!!!!#and doesn't include the character stories or UI or anything #like I love that there's so much but also. at what cost #there's also some sound files that I might try and pull sometime #I think I might try getting those on the sound-resource site #which reminds me that maybe I can put all the images on the spriters-resource also? not sure how that works #at the very least I'll try and put the sprite sheets up on there

14 notes · View notes

lightlycareless · 11 months

Text

First, it hurts— Chapter XXX

Naoya Zen’in x Fem!Reader

While arranged marriages are not uncommon in the jujutsu community, it was strange to receive a proposal from none other than the Zen’in’s, nonetheless your clan accepted and before you knew it, you were married off to Naoya.

Your new purpose was clear: to serve and submit, to be seen and not heard. To forget any sense of individuality in favor of obeying your husband.

Will this marriage ever flourish into something else? Will it change…for better or for worse?

Chapter warnings: misogyny, period talk, delusions, some slight medical talk, mentions of infidelity, baby stuff. Y/N does not like Naoya. 😬 And a certain someone is more... annoying than usual. Be prepared.

A/N: nothing much except look at the title lmao, I hope it doesn't get flagged or something.

Oh! I guess there is something I need to say lol. My birthday is coming up, and since I want to make the best of it hehe, the next update will be postponed to the week after! Meaning a new chapter will be posted on June 25! 🤭❤️ Thank you so much for your patience and support 🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️ I'll be announcing it throughout the week either way.

Without any further ado, happy reading! 🥰

Masterlist ➸ Chapter 31

Ao3 link.

“—It’s expected that this upcoming winter will be one of the harshest ones we’ve seen in years. Public safety has sent out a statement requesting civilians to prepare accordingly by sav—”

Naoya reaches over to the power button by the dashboard and then turns off the radio.

He thought that by filling the ever-growing uncomfortable silence between the two with the voice of the broadcaster, he’d be able to ignore the grave rift that struck his marriage.

Make it a bit more tolerable, if it couldn’t be minimized to a point of non-existence, and work from there—but if anything, his actions only made his lapse more obvious, and dreadfully so.

When he once believed silence to represent submission, the assimilation of your place beside —or beneath— him, as well as the comprehension of your new life and the seeming no escape from it… he was, once again, proven that this was not as fulfilling as he pretended.

Not even when you were informed of his intentions of taking you to the doctor did he manage to incite a response from you, outside of apathy, and the impression that you’d only agreed to comply due to being essentially coerced to it… even if his mind desperately tried to console himself with the opposite.

Your face was just… there, expressionless, blank, as if he had no weight in your mind, as if he weren’t even there, like the interaction that transpired when you joined him at the estate.

From that point forward, not a single word slipped through your lips, aside from the occasional curt nod or hum you gave as a response to his attempts in making conversation whilst driving towards the first destination.

It’s clear that you were not interested in getting anything out of him that wasn’t related to today’s purpose, and it's here that he realizes hatred isn't the opposite of love, it's indifference—and he does not like, not one bit.

If he was to be completely honest, Naoya didn’t hold much hope when it came to obtaining anything positive regarding this outing, at least in the very beginning.

Not even Ranta’s guidance, who had provided him with the basic outline of what steps to take, carefully guiding him through each and every one of them, as well as disclosing what he’ll be reaping if everything went as planned, was enough to reassure him in his entirety; until it did, after continuous encouragements that is.

But there is one thing that he was capable of admitting, and that was that your cold treatment towards him, at least to this degree, was not in the intended arrangement.

From the brief moments he was allowed to sway his sight from the road and to your direction, he was able to notice that your eyes were solely set on the window, past the glass and onto the fleeting scenery. And if not there, on your lap, with your fidgeting fingers.

At first he unfussily assumed that you were partaking in sightseeing, admiring the change of scenery from the well-kept fauna back at the estate onto the withering trees, one of the many symbols that winter has, or was, arriving.

In fact, if one was being particularly observant, he could even notice that the nearby mountains were starting to fill up with snow, resting just by its peak, preparing to gradually make its way down to the skirts…

Had he not caught the way your body was not-so-discreetly leaning towards the window, seeking to keep as far away as physically possible from him, and in such way that made him believe you were also considering jumping out through the window at any given opportunity, and consequently running to your freedom in an unknown location…?

A train of thought that rooted from his own self doubt, one that burned with the assumption that your infatuation with his brother was so big, you couldn’t even stand to not be with anyone but him.

It wasn’t the first time you’d kept silent during a car ride alongside him, but back then, he doesn't recall ever feeling like this, maybe because the circumstances were different.

At the beginning of this marriage, you’d at least entertain his questions when he spoke to you. Even going as far as willingly putting on the front that you were “interested” in what he had to say by encouraging the conversation, regardless if it was just to appeal to his “good humor” and avoid a discussion…

But the two are way past that point, and the silent, agonizing treatment you’re giving him now, is the fire that ignited his mind into spiraling,—the first of that day— into feigned scenarios as a desperate cry for answers.

Just as it would happen in this particular moment, when instead of wondering what he could do to invite you to open up to him, either by retaking one of the many topics mentioned in the radio, or simply by choosing an innocent ice-breakers intended to soothe perilous environments like these, he decided to fill in the voids by imagining the kind of behavior you’d have if it was his brother, Naoaki, the one bringing you to the doctor instead of him.

Would you have kept silent, wanting nothing more than to observe the changing horizon, a refreshing sight away from the confining walls of the estate? Or perhaps strike a conversation, just to make the journey a bit more enjoyable, faster even?

If that were the case, what kind of things would you say? Would you share a personal story? Tell a joke? Perhaps even list the things you’d like to do in the city? Maybe even… glance at him, you place your hand over his, as you sweetly smile at him instead of scowling out the window?

Naoya swallows, grip tightening on the tire as he forces himself to refocus on the road ahead.

Ranta had told him that his plan, aside from offering a good perception to the elders and his father (which was equally important as anything else in this particular moment) was also intended to provide him with a moment to reconnect with his wife, away from outside influences, and perhaps… start anew.

«It’s not going to be easy, Naoya. But usually anything worthwhile is—and you know that better than anyone»

His words are what kept him grounded in this difficult moment, so to speak, to not give up so easily, for this was only the start of the day and… so much had occurred between the two, things that nobody ever expected to happen (per the words of the staff and himself) so who knows what might be different this time out?

The two eventually arrive at the city in a much quicker and safer way than anticipated.

But that wasn’t surprising, of course, since these were the early hours of the day, where the vast majority of the population had yet to wake up and get ready, thus, keeping the roads clear for a comfortable and quick transit, just as it occurred at this very moment.

This is often a good omen for many that wished to interpret it that way, the sensation of having arrived early to their appointment and subsequently, the rest of the day’s venture’s was as fulfilling as a job well done, but for you, who didn’t expect much from this encounter to begin with (compared to Naoya who still held a sliver of hope) it meant nothing—nothing at all.

At least not something that you considered in your benefit, considering that ever since you were made aware of his intentions, worsening when you stepped into the car and drove away from those you wished to be with, you began to be haunted by this constant, heavy and tormenting feeling of déjà vu.

The vivid fear that all that will happen, already happened before.

There was something pricking you at the back of your mind that constantly reminded you that this had been nothing more than a full-blown mistake, a gamble that you shouldn’t have taken less if you wanted to receive the same “prize” as before, … if not worse given the circumstances that surrounded this invitation.

But these judgments were, in the same breath as the ones that tortured you, irrelevant considering that you’ve already made your decision. It’s of no use to feel regretful about it—especially when there was no backing out anymore. You’d just end up suffering twice at this point.

Instead, you’ve tried redirecting your energy into focusing on the main reason why you ended up coming, that being the concerns regarding your health, the same ones you desperately needed closure on for your peace of mind.

Even if you were initially blind to it, too focused on keeping distance between you and Naoya above anything else, Naoaki was right by telling you that this was something you had to protect from Naoya’s grasp at all costs, as well as entitled to know. That you shouldn’t allow him to take anything else from you, when he’s already done so many times… that would only give him more power.

Outside of the somewhat tense antecedents that had more than enough justification to reappear, the other thing that took space in your mind, perhaps an attempt to distract you from your present, would be the changes across the city.

They were minimal, almost unnoticeable if you were a frequent visitor—the closure of a shop, the expansion of a building, advertisements showing off newer products, updated services, lower rates for whatever credit card the bank of your choice was now offering.

But you weren’t there everyday, so for you, they were all but obvious.

It was a bit… reassuring , so to speak. It managed to give you a sensation you could only identify as comfort , perhaps even optimism, as if fate was telling you that things were not to remain identically horrifying as that day.

But just as you were given this encouragement, you were likewise cruelly reminded of how long you’ve been apart from your family, which only made you wonder when was the last time since you saw them.

Your staff and Naoaki made their absence marginally bearable, giving you the sense of security you desperately needed; but just as they were invigorating, they were correspondingly bittersweet, for you know deep inside your mind that they could never be their replacement.

Not that any of them intended to do so, but something about not having your family close to you, your sister, your brother, even your seemingly estranged father, a breach of the promise Naoya made on your wedding day… it was tortuous, for a lack of better words—worse when you realized you had yet to hear anything from your sister and your continuous attempts of contact.

Nevertheless, this was a topic that would be suited for another moment, one that permitted you to become vulnerable, yet away from Naoya’s undeserving eyes, as well avoiding bringing that energy to the doctor whom you couldn’t label as anything else but misogynistically dismissive about your health (ironic with the career that he has) which you are to meet in just a few minutes, when your husband makes the left turn in the quickly approaching exit you rightfully recognized and enters the underground parking lot.

Or so that’s what you expected to occur, until he unprecedentedly takes a different route, making a turn to the right , following the street into another avenue.

If the sense of déjà vu that continuously kept you company throughout the entirety of your trip, as if talking about a ghostly third passenger, reminded you ever so sharply that you were anything but off the hook of today’s possible mishaps already had you on edge, his unforeseen detour made efficient work to place you in an unspeakably worse disposition.

It’s the outcome you anticipatedly—yet in a repudiating manner— envisioned he’d commit as soon as he secured you in his grasp.

Alone, away from those that could possibly help you, or at least… make your suffering a bit more bearable, and secluded from those that might dare, for him to commit his atrocities comfortably.

Tightly clutching to the skirt of your kimono with your now sweaty hands, you hold your breath as your mind sprints to evoke all the preparation you could possibly muster for what’s to come, interpretations that only serve to paint your horrid future in the darkest of shades as he continues to take you into an unknown destination.

The movie in your minds eye plays on virtually uninterrupted, that is, until a tall gray tower manages to catch your attention, coincidentally the one that Naoya seems to be driving towards, verified by the way he begins to slow down, turn on the direction onto it’s direction, and steer into what you categorize as the entrance to it’s designated parking for all visitors.

The car is stopped just a few feet past the marked entrance by a man, a valet driver as described by the logo embroidered in its shirt, who hastily walks over to Naoya’s side, presumably to request his keys.

Your uncertainty remains linear as Naoya rolls the window down, wondering just what kind of place he was intending to take you—it’s only until the man asks your husband which office he plans on visiting for the day (alongside the directory you saw later on when entering said building) did you realize that he had taken you to perform none other than the examinations the gynecologist ordered you to take after your last consultation—in his words, to ensure that your health was… “in order”.

At this revelation, all that you could think is… how… redundant . Alongside the cluster of baffling, surprised, but most of all, angering , emotions you were dumped with to deal.

Considering the tightness of today's timetable, which you only learned thanks to Mariya, it felt like your health was almost an afterthought for Naoya—and perhaps that wouldn’t be that much of a absurd assumption, since most of his family didn’t care about your overall fitness but rather, your value in terms of fertility.

In a more direct manner to you, it was safe to say that Naoya didn't care to make these appointments before when time was still in abundance. He only did them now because he needed a way to get you out of the estate, as much as he could, and what better excuse than to do all of this right at this moment?

Bringing you to the doctor was just something extra, something he performed out of duty and not of need, perhaps even to reiterate his standing with his family so he wouldn’t look so pathetic before them.

And while some of your thoughts were accurate when describing part of his inner workings, the rest were something else…

But that’s not something you were meant to know, at least, not now. Not when you mind had the sole goal of purposely getting what you need and heading back to the estate as soon as possible.

Because to you, Naoya and his attempts were nothing .

Nothing but poor excuses, him grasping at straws for a reality he’d lost in a matter of seconds for his poor decisions, last-ditch efforts to regain your trust under the pretense it was there, just covered, misplaced perhaps.

When the reality was much different. Vastly so.

It was never there to begin with.

After going through various offices with different doctors, depending of the specialist you were to see, and getting your exams done it’s when you realize why Naoya had chosen this specific place instead of the usual labs most people went to, the one that were scattered across the country for accessible usage: it’s because here, with the gentle persuasion of money, the results could be available in less than an hour.

It’s one of the many benefits from having money, you know well, to be able to pay the equivalent of time in currency and just move on.

Had this occurred in the universe where you actually had an amicable relationship with your husband, you would’ve been impressed. You would’ve seen his efforts as if trying to rush through something you were evidently distressed about, judged by the way you were less than thrilled to be poked and prodded as some kind of extravagant bug , and get you the help you needed for something that afflicted you even greater.

But as with all things with him, you didn’t feel anything but animosity towards his “attempts” to care , because as much as he tried to convince you that his actions were of genuine interest by carefully guiding you through procedures, asking you to take a seat as he checked-in, and once that was set, bringing you water, asking if there was something you wanted to eat in the meantime… you knew it was nothing more than actions to fuel his own agenda.

“Get on with it” as you recall him saying in between flashes of pain and anguish the day Mariya brought him to see you in your bedroom to verify you were telling the truth…

As if. Once again, you were an afterthought, an inconvenience. A guinea pig he had the misfortune of acquiring under false pretenses made by your elders who were all too eager to get rid of so as to make up for your sister’s mistakes, and now had to waste time and money trying to fix you, give you a purpose, before you’re labeled as a total loss and afterwards, discard you.

Confirmation of the cruel views from those that were supposed to protect you…

Well, Naoya could think whatever he wanted, and you wouldn’t care.

You’d remain silent, just as he always expected you to be and push through this unpleasant moment until you’re finally back with your loved ones—Ironic that he now wants the opposite, but it only serves to show how oscillating he was.

After the results were ready, you and Naoya headed back to the underground parking lot, waiting a few minutes in the designated area to get the keys of his car by the same valet driver from before and finally heading to the building you anticipated to go first.

The trip there had been fast, the calmness of the streets still present even after two hours had gone by, making it available to take the familiar left turn into the same underground parking and leaving the car in the first spot he found in the appropriate place for those visiting your specialist.

When the sudden silence that follows the quieting down of the engine makes your breath hitch on your throat, like the realization that the moment you were unobtrusively forecasting is finally here.

You knew this was going to happen, yet, it remained as nerve-wracking as it was the first time, and as you hurriedly prepare to get out of the car, just before he’s able to do as much —because you obviously didn’t want to be near him any more than you’ve done in the past instances— you gather all the courage you could and set your worries aside as you finally unlock the door, jump out of the car, quickly fixing the skirt of your kimono, and walk.

Having remembered the path from last time, you don’t even bother to wait for Naoya or even allow him to manhandle you into the office just as he’d done in the others; In fact, you seem to purposely mute off his rushed footsteps, which were dangerously close to you, as you hurriedly made way to the elevator doors and press the button just besides it, to call the lift.

One that arrives painfully slow, giving Naoya enough time to catch up to you.

A bell rings, and then, the doors open—with it, offering the color-draining visage of the sour position you distractedly set yourself to be in thanks to your urgency: confinement, in a small place with him .

You were able to avoid such placement up to this moment due the placement of the labs. They were on the first floor, meaning that it was only a matter of walking up a few steps to get to them; and even if you needed to be guided by him, you were still able to keep some distance.

A feat that was further gratifyingly possible thanks to the “patients only” policy imposed by said locations, which kept him at the waiting area and away from you.

As well as thanks to his concentration when driving, eyes solely focused on the road as he took you from one point to the other. Even when he was angry, as you remembered, he was never one to endanger himself behind the wheel, so you didn’t need to worry about him trying to do anything… undesirable in the mean time.

In other words, steering from him had been a relatively easy task due to unprecedented actions by fate.

But that was only to be short-lived when destiny deemed it your time to receive your own dosage of karma, and in such a tiny, exposing way, that all you could hope is that he would find it in him to compose himself before arriving to the doctor, so as to prevent publicly humiliating one another yet again, as your heart begins to painfully beat against your chest.

Thus, you hold your breath yet again, waiting for the moment to come that he’ll speak and tell you something that will hurt you, berate you, clenching your hands as you envision how you want nothing more than to be with Naoaki—

But as seconds pass… nothing happens. Instead, all that he does is step into the elevator, take the empty spot beside you and swiftly press the floor number on the pad —one that you didn’t place in yourself due to your seeming forgetfulness—before reacting his hand to his side.

The door closes, and then, it’s nothing but silence.

White noise is what fills the air and distracts you from the uneasy presence Naoya brings to you, and would’ve presumably continued so, that is, until by some strange reason, he finally decides to do what you awaited him to do—although… in a vastly different depiction:

Speak.

“How… are you?” he murmurs, body shifting to your direction, as his eyes travel from the ground to you.

It’s the first word Naoya directs to you—outside of the “I got you more water” and “Are you ready?”’s that he gave you a few hours before. Different too, from the attempts he tried to convey of socializing at the car, when it came to analyzing his behavior.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was being… hesitant .

An answer that would’ve made you scoff if you weren’t speechless beyond any reasonable doubt.

«Why?» Is all that you ask yourself «Why did he ask me that, of all things? When… when he—when all that he’s done is hurt me with his indifference?»

The thing is, Naoya only spoke at this moment because he’d been trying to gather enough courage to do so.

After all, the way you’d continuously ignored him through every step of the way was far more agonizing than he could have anticipated, as well as realizing that he didn’t have the necessary skills to do what his best friend had requested him to do.

Ranta tasked him with perhaps the most strenuous job he’d ever faced in his life, and that would be, to be gentle with you.

Treat you as if you were a flower, show that he cared about you and your health, and that he wasn’t simply doing this out of attempting to conceive a positive image with the elders, and get to know you while at it.

But that was to be a heavy task for the man that had never been one to care for others outside his personal interest, or professional life—he never showed sympathy or interest for his relatives, extending to his coworkers, less for the cursed enemies he was set to destroy… And unmistakingly, for the woman that was to be his wife.

… So one could only imagine the pressure that fell on his shoulders when Ranta approached him with this request, more so when you were unwilling to participate, and when he still remained blind to the factual reasoning behind your behavior.

But Naoya was a persistent man, and once he’s set something in his mind, he scrambles to make the best of his circumstances and continue on.

“I mean, we’re going to the doctor and I can’t imagine that’s any fun, so I just wanted to know if there’s—”

You don’t say you don’t want to speak with him, but the way you slightly turn your body away from him is all that he needs for an answer.

Naoya’s eyes fall back to the ground, pressing his lips together before looking back to the door.

His go-to reaction often pertains to a violent outburst of emotion when someone evidently rejects him, berating them for not acknowledging his status and believing themselves to be above his recognition , but after all that’s happened… he—he doesn’t seem to have the energy to do so.

He doesn’t want to push you away anymore. Not if you’re to run to his brother’s arms…

The elevator eventually stops at the aforementioned floor, dinging before the doors slide open. Without seconds to waste, and wanting nothing more than to be away from him, you’re the first to step outside, making your way to the office as the location comes back to you, and only stopping once you’re before the entrance.

Whether Naoya is right behind you, or a few steps more than that, you don’t care. Not when you’ve already alerted the receptionist to be there by ringing the nearby bell and unlocking the door soon after.

If he wants to be let inside, then you guess he’ll have to hurry—which he does upon seeing you push the door, running to your side and placing his hand over the door to keep it open for you, a gesture that has you immediately releasing the door in favor of scampering ahead and distant from him.

This has him faltering his movements for a second, rooting him on the spot, before the lingering, attentive gaze of the receptionist shamefully pulls him away from his thoughts and back to the present.

Once inside, both are inundated by a wave of familiarity just by getting a quick glimpse at its surroundings—it had remain virtually the same since their last time there, with the exception of the flowers at the glass vase in the middle of the room; when once they were lilies they were now jasmines; well according to the minimalist, colorless yet clean aesthetic of the reception.

«Doctors and their obsession with white» is what you decide to comment about the decoration. Naoya doesn’t give it any thought.

Perhaps the only thing that you wished had been different was the doctor in question, for all the things that you were not looking forward to, his scrutiny was high on the list.

But that’s a topic that’s been appropriately dealt with, no point of getting it out of the confines of your mind once you’re in the man’s waiting room. You just have to… endure it. For your health.

Naoya, as before, is the one to check in with the receptionist. And after doing so, he makes way to the seat besides yours, just to receive another dosage of your alienation.

It didn’t take much longer than a mere few seconds before the doctor, with a few more gray hairs that either can perceive—another passage of time— comes out of his office to receive the couple.

“Zen’in-san!” The man cheerfully greets, a smile on his face, as he approaches you.

Although the message could be easily perceived as delegated to the two, the way his eyes don’t peel away from your husband, as well as how he amicably greets him as if an old friend, gives you the basic understanding of how your consultation is going to proceed.

If only invisibility was a perk that worked in your favor, and not against…

“It’s good to see you and your wife again! Back for a check-up?”

“As agreed.” Naoya says, standing up as he reaches for the extended hand of the doctor and shaking it, with you dejectedly doing the same.

“It’s been a while, I was starting to worry something bad had occurred!”

Naoya remains quiet, knowing well that to talk about his personal life with strangers was rude—but oh, how he wanted to agree…

“Just busy” is what he concedes, and once the doctor gestures to them to follow him, Naoya automatically places his hand behind your back, wanting nothing more than to guide you in the way that Ranta had hinted some women might like.

Unfortunately for him, you were going to be the exception in that data pool, and as soon as you sensed his touch you retaliated by taking a quick step forward, peeling away from his hand and taking the lead for yourself.

If Naoya, or the doctor for that matter, had reacted to your antipathy, you didn’t notice—nor cared to do so as you continued on by taking a seat on the same chair as you did last time. Although you could presume they did, arguing by the peculiar look the receptionist seemed to give Naoya after your sudden detachment.

You’d had to admit that you were a bit ashamed by acting in a way many would consider childish… but you had your reasons, and that’s something that they’ll have to eventually removed from their minds, just as you did when refocusing on the doctor who had taken his seat behind the desk, as you now wondered what was taking him so long to begin.

That would be an easily answered question, one that you were heavily involved in, to no one’s surprise.

Turns out that the doctor had noticed these small behaviors, consequences of your fissured marriage, and just as soon as his eyes landed on the two.

The air surrounding them was engulfed with a heavy, yet cold aura that gave him the sensation that he wasn’t necessarily welcomed there, more precisely, he was seeing something he wasn’t supposed to. Yet, his discomfort wasn’t enough to distinguish just quite the reason behind this change, that is, until he arrived at his designated seat and was finally able to take a good look at the two.

It’s then that the revelation unveiled itself before him: It’s as if you and Naoya switched bodies!

An assumption that rooted from his remembrance of Naoya’s less-than-thrilled demeanor last time he was there, allegedly only doing so because he was roped into it—and you, troubled, if not pessimistic, from all the arduous trials you were put through on the days before, with no solution to be seen in the near future…

It now appeared as if you were the one that didn’t want to be there, odd considering it was your specialist. And Naoya… Well, he didn’t necessarily look like he was enjoying his time there either, but something about the muteness in his eyes gave the man the impression that he’d rather be here than anywhere else.

One would think the doctor was proficient in divination for his theories weren’t that far off from the truth, however, that is something that would only remain as that: speculations, for it didn’t pertain to his field nor was he being paid to do so.

Still, that didn’t stop him from admiring just how interesting these turn of events were…

The doctor returns to his job by glancing at the monitor whilst vigorously typing into the keyboard, seemingly pulling up your file before quickly skimming through it to refresh his memory about your case.

Once he’s gathered enough information of what he’s dealing with, the man glances up to the estranged couple, clears his throat, and begins.

“So, tell me, what has happened during this time that we have not seen each other?” He asks, or more precisely, he asks your husband, evident by his set look on him—the way your voice is discarded even when it pertains to your issues made you want to scoff, but you managed to hold it back by clenching your hands instead. “How has her body behaved since the last time we saw each other?”

Naoya blinks, looks at you (as if trying to urge you on, before going back to the doctor. It's only after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence between the 3 that he realizes it's him who he was speaking to.

After snapping out of his seeming trance, the heir swallows and proceeds.

“I… I think fine” he responds, voice uncertain as he's forced to reflect just how much in the dark he was regarding you in the days he was away.

Will that stop him from speaking ignorantly, and instead, seek you to state the truth?

No— of course not. After all, it's him who's being acknowledged, not you.

And will he deny that this reason mainly stood because it made him feel, somewhere deep inside him, special? As if he was actually being considered for issues regarding you, contrary to how the estate was quick to disregard him after his failures?

That'd also be a negative answer. How… disappointing.

“The staff said that she had a rather calmer… period than last time” he adds, and the doctor soon begins to type these declarations into your file. “Oh, that’s good” he concurred, squinting his eyes as he glanced towards the monitor before clearing his throat yet again “And it says here that you… your wife had some tears inside her vagina, had there been any issues with that ?” He circles back to the couple, a seemingly innocent question intended to get nothing more out of them than what he needs, but there was something about his wording that incited something lurid inside your husband, which would only grow as the consultation went on.

“Not… that I would know” Naoya then looks at you, as if hoping to see your reaction by a not-so-hidden motive, but your gaze is intently fixed at the ground, careless of the world around you, and thus, you don’t see his gestures outside of the corner of your eye which would pass unregistered in due time.

Your lack of response manages to baffle him, even if it was just for a moment, but why would that be?

You’re keeping quiet, letting the men talk, because at the end of the day, isn’t that what they wanted? To make their own decision since there was no one else more suited to do so than themselves?

Or perhaps did he expect you to give yourself away through a subtle grimace? Just as the rumors in the estate seemed to blame you with?

Something began to brew inside your mind.

“We… haven’t been together in a while. I’ve been busy with work, and she has the house to tend after, so … yes. I don’t know” Naoya reiterates and the doctor raises his eyebrows.

“ Really ?” To say he was skeptical would be an understatement. Because given the peculiar context behind your husband, he found it hard to believe that someone like him would’ve kept his hands away from his wife, especially for as long as their last appointment to today.

He still recalls the disturbance etched across his features once he was presented with the suggestion of giving you a break for just a few days if you were to heal appropriately. Something that seemingly ended up lasted way longer than intended, up until now.

Did Naoya, the womanizer, have a change of heart? And if so, was he telling the truth?

Or perhaps… you did?

“Is that true, Mrs. Zen’in?” he inquired, now nudging in your direction.

“Yes” you said curtly, unwilling to give anything more—not if it wasn’t of your interest, and less if he was to proceed as you suspected “He’s telling the truth”

“And you haven’t done anything with anyone else?” He prods on, and his implication, even one that you knew was coming, still manages to sting you, as well as perk Naoya’s ears to his full, undivided, attention.

No stranger to these kinds of tactics, you’re quick to catch his dark intentions and slide them off from your mind as quickly as you could. Because they’re all the same, cut from the same fabric, these kinds of men that is. Believing if you aren’t a prude, you’re some kind of seductress that can’t keep it in her pants, right?

If your husband was right, it was only obvious that you were wrong.

And that wasn’t even to be the worst in this situation—that was something that Naoya earned once again, ever the accomplished one.

He should’ve taken this moment to speak up and put a stop to the doctor’s less than professional questions, demanding that he treat his wife with respect and subsequently his marriage… but you’ve long understood to not expect anything from the arrogant man you had the misfortune of calling your husband.

He, the one you’ve long come to understand that doesn’t care for anyone else but for him, remains quiet as his mind disregards the doctor’s question as nothing outside the norm —perhaps because he was already subjected to this kind of scrutiny before— failing to notice just how wrong and invasive his questions were as he continues to avoid reality by allowing his mind to pull him into a dark place, the second time that day.

The doctor’s question hits the nail when it comes to bringing up the topic that has been plaguing him ever since rumors of your supposed—no, not supposed, certain— relationship with his brother began, as well as the roots of his insecurities.

The sight of him leaving your chambers is enough evidence to cite as something happening…

Naoya knows Ranta would disapprove of this sentiment, for he was the one that begged him to not jump to conclusions. Even if you and Naoaki were undeniably closer than many would’ve liked their partner to be with their in-law, it might just be nothing more than a friendship at the end of the day, one that rose due to his absence—

Yet, it seems like only he and his friend were the ones that still believed that, because the rest of the people around them acted as if they knew exactly what was going on, even going as far as mocking him about it.

And now, the doctor was the newest addition to that group.

Was it really… that obvious?

Either way, regardless of what is seen in the eyes of others, he can’t help but wonder… even if it’s wrong that the man is intruding in such a crude manner, what your answer might be.

After all, there’s no more efficient way to quiet the rumors than to get the opinion of a health professional , right? Even if there are lies sprinkled in between, Naoya knows the doctor will see right through them, and put an end to his misery, once and for all…

It’s why his heart was beating heavily against his chest, to the point where he felt his ears start ringing and his throat tightening as he intently looked at you, anxiously awaiting for your revealing answer…!

“I haven’t” you respond truthfully and without hesitation. A tone that sort of passes undetected to Naoya, who all he can do at this very moment is focus on your words and the truthfulness behind them, but not to the incredulous doctor, who is quick to refute them as soon as they fall into his ears.

“ Is that so? ” the doctor challenges, with the same kind of tone you’ve always heard Naoya use condescendingly against you when provided with the answers they sought—it’s not your fault they aren’t what they wanted. Had they desired to hear something in specific, they should’ve told you, given you a script to study and replicate. “Then what happened during these days you were away? You didn’t have any… needs before or during your period?”

“No” you deny once again, pushing through the disgust his suggestions bring you to defend your integrity. “I was nauseous for a week straight , I barely ate anything because I knew I would just throw it right back out—at one point I just stopped trying. And if that wasn’t enough, my cramps and flow were rather… heavier this occasion, binding me to my bed”

The doctor continues stares at you, as if dissecting your words before eventually looking back at the computer screen and seemingly writing them in as an addition to your record. Whether he added a note to take your words with a grain of salt or not, eluded you, for what bothered you the most was the fact that you had to justify your lifestyle beyond a single no , when with Naoya, he could literally tell him the most outrageous thing and you were sure he wouldn’t question it. Which he did!

Any other professional would’ve taken your word for it and moved on, but as you’ve stated before, the men you'd unfortunately surrounded yourself with ever since your introduction to the Zen'in have been nothing but doubtful when it comes to you—as if you’d given them plentiful reasons to do so.

As if you were the one that wronged them.

But while the doctor seemed to be uninterested in your truth, simply adding your explanation to his realms of possibilities out of formality, Naoya was nothing if not shocked by this revelation.

Your statement had come out of nowhere, in a way, and without prior signs that would have lessened the surprise of his miscalculations.

Whenever he inquired about your period, in the rare moments he bothered to care, his staff would solely rely on what your ladies obliged, what's to be the same answer every time: she’s fine .

Thus, it was natural to assume he was considerably baffled upon learning that there was more than what you and your entourage were letting on.

The revelation unwittingly takes him back to the moment where he learned of your 14 days of continuous bleeding as soon as he returned back home.

Recollecting the distressed look on your face he got to see when he visited your room upon demanding to see proof of such a claim, not believing their words for they were nothing but distressing , if not impossible.

Your status back then, although not as critical as the doctor would later declare, was surprising in itself for your husband to get you checked. So to hear an even worse repercussion bewildered him — yet, there was still something in his mind that forbade him from comprehending the complexity of your case, at least emphatically, stemming from the absence of trust between the two.

Naoya wonders.

Was this… your truth? Did you really… Did you really spend a whole week feeling indisposed, locked in your room, forced to keep away from the rest of the estate, while unable to eat or drink anything?

If so, why wasn’t he made aware of this? Why did your staff think it necessary to lie to him about it? Even if he knew something about it, it was briefly and through Ranta's knowledge… something that wasn't his duty.

It was you who should’ve ordered your ladies to inform him of your factual status, after all, the two had a common enemy: your imminent death.

One that could only be stopped if you got pregnant, a circumstance that would happen if both compromised.

It doesn't make sense. He doesn’t know why you didn’t tell him. He… he doesn’t understand why.

Did you not… did you not want to avoid that ?

His concern for you in that matter is evident, more so when he's reminded the clock continues to tick when it comes to your end.

And yet, far from being intrigued by your condition, or interested in finding a way on how to prevent his father's tyranny from striking his life yet again, his secluded mind pulls him into a dark place, the same one as before, which makes him frightfully ponder…

Was Naoaki there when everything happened? Was this the moment you became acquainted with him? Or perhaps… the moment the two became closer?

Did he ask you about your health, worry about you, or did you tell him about these things without the need of being asked?

Naoya is in agony thinking about just how much you've shared of your life with his brother, but the world around him doesn't stop, neither cares to comfort him as the doctor continues on.

"Alright" he says, typing in the last details of your file before pushing himself up from the chair. "I'm going to take your weight and from there we'll do an ultrasound. Follow me, please”

You frown. The need for an ultrasound seems redundant to you—and it is , for you just had an ultrasound performed on you a few hours ago, printed in the highest quality current technology permitted, and above all, from that same day.

Luckily, it seems that Naoya's two brain cells manage to remind him of that, prompting him to speak up.

"That won't be necessary, I have an ultrasound from today here" your husband says, offering the doctor the white folder he'd brought along with him. The man seems to stare at it for a few seconds, as if trying to discern what it was, before reaching inside for its contents.

He slips the black material out, eyes squinting as he carefully analyzes the image on it before responding.

"It's wrong, I'll have to do one myself"

It doesn’t take you longer than a few seconds for you to realize it was the same apprehension controlling his present decisions.

In other words, he believed your examinations were not genuine, fabricated, and needed to see the truth before his own eyes through his own merit.

It angers you that not only were you subjected to all kinds of exams, as if you were some kind of alien life form yet to be identified (and from a very early hour at that) but also, that it had been all for nothing!

Nonetheless, knowing well that arguing with a wall is nothing more than a waste of time and energy, you begrudgingly agree to silently obey his orders by walking towards the digital scale (another major difference from your last consultation, where he'd given you the benefit of the doubt and trusted your words) followed carefully removing your footwear —holding onto the wall when necessary to not lose balance— while feeling the heavy gazes of the doctor and your husband burning holes on your back, as if urging you to step on the platform, which you did only a few seconds after.

Once the screen begins to blink signifying it was calculating your weight, your gaze wanders away. The topic of body weight never being an enjoyable one for you to partake in, less when it came from a medical standpoint—for you never seemed to be in the right parameters, you're either too low, too high, or the source of all of your illnesses, but never just a number.

Oh well.

After being virtually subdued to a diet consisting solely of rabbit food, you expect it to be on the lower side of the spectrum. You even fail to consider the clandestine portions of mochi in between meals as influential enough to affect these numbers

A thought that gains recognition when the scale beeps and the doctor releases a hum of pleasant surprise, raising his eyebrows as he looks at you.

"Ah, you've actually lost quite an amount of weight" he reiterates, and you can only assess his statement with a nod thanks to the number you recall providing last time, but that’s not what irked you of this exchange, for such trivialities had long fallen into your own realm of indifference.

What irritates you the most is how he doesn’t even care to wonder if perhaps this was a side effect of your nauseating crusade weeks ago, a symptom of the days you didn’t eat a single thing because you were too disgusted to do so, or maybe another hormonal repercussion for having halted your treatment so abruptly.

No, he just assumes what many people do: that any weight loss is a good loss, and this only leads you , in turn, to wonder why you even considered coming along in the first place.

«Because I need to know if I’m completely healed» is what you console yourself with as you step down from the scale, putting your shoes on as you head back to your seat.

"But be careful to not lose that much weight, it's necessary for a woman to remain healthy if the baby is to be healthy as well. Be sure to feed her more protein, Zen'in-san" At his mention, Naoya blinks out of another trance and looks at the doctor before giving a quick nod, the impression that he’d been closely attentive to his words and surroundings, and not on his stupid and baseless thoughts regarding you and your alleged paramour.

The only positive thing to come out of this specific circumstance , you dare to assume, is the possibility of eating meat again, which you could only imagine how despondent Junko was going to be when she heard of this. All of her efforts of converting you into vegetarianism —the lifestyle your in-laws were surprisingly involved in— foiled in less than a day.

Although you're sure she'd find a way to avoid red meat one way or the other, because proved yet again and again, what you want isn't exactly what you're going to get .

"I will" Naoya acknowledged before his eyes land on you, gazes crossing for a second before you’re quick to look away. He presses his lips together, pushing down the sensation of your indifference (which only stung harder when remembering the smile you gave his brother before leaving the estate) in favor of focusing on something else. Your weight, for example.

Now that the doctor mentioned it, he does recall feeling you to be a bit thinner in his arms the last time he held you, but he simply assumed it had been his long absence to be deceiving him.

He didn't know what to think of this change, for he never cared about those things when it came to you, he considered himself to be accepting of you however you were. But not of your relations, and certainly not with his bro—

His course of thought is quickly interjected with the continuation of the consultation by the way the doctor gestures to you head towards the other room: the same place where you'd been ludicrously exposed before the two under the pretenses of medical necessities , the one harboring the infamous gynecologist chair as well as the ultrasound machine and monitor—set to perform the exam he believed counterfeit by abhorrent reasons.

At this, Naoya is prompted to stand up and follow the pair, taking quick strides to grace your side, placing his hand behind your back as he attempts to guide you towards the door.

An act that burns and exposes your skin every single time upon feeling his hand on you, a sensation you rush to alleviate by skipping ahead, arriving much faster than anticipated to the chair and jumping onto it, carefully exposing whatever is necessary for your ultrasound soon after.

Naoya remains quiet as he sees you get ready, but his mind was all but lively with sensations of rejection and solitude shackling in his heart.

Well, what did he expect? That just because he woke up and decided to act eerily you’d reciprocate his intentions?

As if.

Once completely reclined and with your stomach exposed, the doctor applies the infamously cold gel on your skin before taking the probe and spreading it evenly.

After that he glances at the nearby monitor and begins the search for what you presume to be your ovaries—the eyes of your husband and yours doing the same as his.

The monitor showed all kinds of black and white swirls, layered upon roughed textures as the doctor moved the scanner from one side of your stomach to the other, applying ever so slight pressure from time to time as if trying to obtain a clearer image, whilst his glance remained fixated on said figures, none clear to either’s untrained eye.

The doctor knew very well what he was looking for, however in a way, Naoya did too.

As noted before, Naoya's mind has been in a rough spot since he'd learned he's (or on his way) losing you, worsening when his plan for this encounter was not going as expected.

His mind is so… out of touch with reality, twisted by his own delusions, that whenever something associates to you he can't help but wonder how this could relate back to his brother: from comparing how interactive you’d be with Naoaki if he were in his shoes, to how much you’ve shared of your life with him…

Culminating on how close the two were.

One could say that he really should be more trusting of his wife, that she had no reason to lie to the doctor who could easily debunk her assumptions with countless methods, but it's important to remember that Naoya wasn’t your typical husband—nor was this your typical marriage to begin with.

This union wasn’t formed under trust, or even love, it was an arrangement of convenience , of value, of whatever the groom and bride could get out of each other's family.

And because of this, all that Naoya could do was fix his stare at the screen as he… well, as he hopes to not find the semblance of life palpitating back at him on it.

The undeniable evidence that you were with child, and it was not his.

A question that took form ever since the elders "jokingly" brought it up, as well as when he saw his brother leave your chambers. If only the labs he'd taken you to didn't have such restrictive policies, he would've known by now.

But he didn't, and such was his fate to deal with the suffocating, sickly sensation that clung to him, feeding off his energy as seconds passed and no answer was given yet.

The room spins as his vision fogs up at the prospect of your infidelity.

If that were the case, he knew he'd have no standing to fight against it, no justification, not even as your rightful husband , or even heir … because right now, he'd lost all of those privileges.

But if the odds dictated you weren't pregnant… Well, it wouldn't be as great as a discovery either way for the prospect of your infertility would still be very much at hand, and the “positive” affluence that Ranta counted to be acquired from this visit would've been nothing more than wishful thinking—with your death sentence continuing on.

Whatever angle he takes, he loses.

But at least… at least there's one chance that you were indeed, not with his brother.

What a pathetic reassuring thought to have, when the underlying issue was much bigger than that…

After seconds of dismay and doubt, the monitor eventually broadcasts a somewhat identifiable figure and the man stops his search.

"Well, your ovaries seem ok, a good size" The doctor says as he reaches over to the nearby panel and freezes the image. After showing you so, he unfreezes the image and moves again, a bit lower this time before repeating the same stopping and freezing process at another figure. "The cervix is of a healthy size too, nothing unusual—in fact, there’s nothing ” he says, in a tone you could only distinguish as… disappointment?

Naoya feels a weight to be lifted from his shoulders as his chest decompresses through a not so subtle sigh, a sound that makes the doctor shoot him a piercing look, one that appears to ask “ Why are you glad? Didn’t you want her to be pregnant?”

The look of salvation dissipates from his face as soon as he catches sight of his reaction, while you, who glanced up to Naoya by inertia after hearing the doctor's scoff, clench your jaw as a response to his idiotic reaction—all of this, all of these ridiculous procedures were because of him and his family. And he still dared behave this way? As if it wasn't his own father who sentenced you to death, which he didn't even attempt to debunk?

The point that was brewing in your mind just a few minutes ago becomes clear: just like his relatives, he was morbidly waiting to see if your "acts" with Naoaki had resulted in something bigger, and what better way to do so than bringing you here?

Which of course were nothing but rumors, because when did they expect that to happen, when all you could do is cower in fear?!

Regardless of that, Naoya should at least have the decency to keep quiet, or disappear from your life, if he's so desperate to do something.

"Now let's check inside" the doctor sighs as he reaches over for a napkin and roughly cleans the gel off your stomach before putting away all of his tools "your legs on the side, please" he instructs, setting everything up for the next procedure.

You do so as requested, gently sliding yourself up so you could comfortably lift your legs onto the holders, accommodating into a better position before looking up to him and silently signaling your preparation.

This is, and would probably continue to be, the most vulnerable and exposed you've ever felt in your life when it comes to your health—and it’s not the act that scares you, you’ve never been one to shy away from things that needed to be done… but it’s the general context behind it that discourages you.

Yet, you know it’s the only way to know the status of the (one of many) horrendous wounds Naoya’s carelessness inflicted on you and see if you've healed.

Once the man double checks everything is set, he briefly informs you of his coming intrusion when you feel something cool and thin prodding at your entrance, breath hitching when the sensation pushes deeper inside you, gently scrubbing your walls; the beginning of the second stage.

The discomfort of this position and act, as well as the unwanted companionship of the man you hated the most in the world made you unwittingly tighten your grasp on the arm rest, as well as your lower areas, which the doctor was unable to ignore and subsequently, call out, for it was starting to hinder his process.

“You need to relax, or I won’t be able to work” he warns and you, wanting nothing more than to get this over with as soon as possible, proceed to take a deep breath, closing your eyes for a few seconds before exhaling, exerting your best to do what he requested.

Once you feel him move again, you glance over to the screen in efforts to further lull your tension, distracting yourself with nothing more than the pinkish color of your insides apparent on the monitor.

You don't know if seeing this shade was a good sign, but the lack of pain compared to the last time manages to convince you to the point of releasing another sigh. Your mind is relieved of a shackle when it comes to the damage of your body and the benefits of your sacrifice begin to show.

And not only that: it also served as a testament that you truly haven't done anything to those that doubted you, such as your radical husband and his treacherous family—something Naoya was starting to see as well, which filled him with hope.

The doctor continues to prod you for a few seconds more, as if trying to get his "gotcha moment" only to realize there was nothing to reveal.

With this, the man finally arrives at the conclusion that indeed, there was nothing out of place, and in that note he begins to retract his tools from your body, setting them aside for sterilization, and turns the equipment off.

"She healed quite nicely" he declares rather… oddly, as if he were surprised. Was he doubting his prescription? No, that wasn’t the case, evident by his following words "I guess the two of you have been saying the truth"

To avoid verbally expressing your disappointment at his unwanted commentary, you cast your mind into fixing yourself, getting down the chair, and begin to count to ten. You certainly didn't expect any less from him after constantly instigating you and your husband—but just… why? Why had he decided to be particularly irksome this day?

Your husband, on the other hand, couldn't feel anything but relieved to know that his worries, all of them were for naught, since it was now proven that Ranta's belief of a friendship between the two was a fact.

Nothing had occurred between you and his brother, and now that he was sure, he couldn't help but reflect on how silly he was for even considering such a thing.

Ranta was right. He’s always right, Naoya insincerely presumes. His best friend ultimately had only the best intentions for him, no reason to lie or concoct a plan that would blunder him in the long run.

Everything would proceed in an orderly fashion, it was only a matter of time and patience for when it finally did. And if this advancement didn’t signify that, then he doesn’t know what did!

"Well, at least from what I saw everything seemed to be fine" the doctor concludes, circling back to the sole topic you were interested in as he wandered off back to his desk, with you and Naoya just right behind after you were done adjusting yourself in a more presentable image—of course, you didn’t stop nor wait for Naoya under any circumstance, you simply went ahead and took your designated seat.

The man retakes the folder containing your exams and decides to belatedly look over them, now through a different perspective thanks to his own findings.

"And the studies you brought seem to back it up as well" he analyzes, and your husband, at the prospect of a positive outcome, eagerly inquires.

"Would you say that she’s—she's healthy?" It's a question that might implicate some concern for you, but after observing the subtle signals of his reaction when Naoaki was obliquely brought into the conversation, as well as your cohesion, you come to the conclusion that all of this had been to save his skin with his father —and nothing more— just so come back home and tell him there was still something good to be salvaged from sham of a marriage you've been stuck in, and maybe patch your seeming insolence as well.

To think you believed he wanted to be with you…

"All things accounted for, I guess you could say she's healthy." the doctor concurs and Naoya sighs, everything going as planned… "But I wouldn't rush to inform your father about it"

Your ears and Naoya's perk, shoulders tensing and blood freezing at the sudden mention of Naobito. "There’s still things that we have to account for regarding her infertility, and sadly that’s something that a few tests won’t be able to predict outside her FSH levels or her actually getting pregnant, of course." The man sets your documents back into the folder and sets them to the side "She kind of reminds me of your mother, actually. Such a sensitive case… I can’t blame Naobito for trying to make sure his son doesn’t make the same mistake as him, filling the family with disappointments—no offense, of course, to you or your brothers, I’m just repeating his words'' The man shrugs, no remorse in his face after releasing highly insulting words towards you, your husband, and his close relatives.

It's here that something inside Naoya's and your mind clicks. The reason why the doctor had been so crude with the two, meticulous about his work.

Because Naobito thought it necessary to step in their marriage once again, telling the doctor the murkiness of the relationship (although to what extent has yet to be determined) as to remind them that whatever game they were playing, it was all happening under his turf.

It seems that not even outside the estate, would you or Naoya escape his grasp.

"And… my nausea?" Desperately wanting to avoid the remembrance of Naobito, if just for a moment, your mouth blurts out this question, which coincidentally, was of high importance to you. "Is there something more… effective against it, besides tea?"

"I'm afraid not" he responds without giving your question a second thought, discarding your importance just as he’d consistently done throughout the entirety of the consultation. "Is too much of a risk to play in the hormonal field right now, besides, cramps and nausea are a natural occurrence for periods, so why go against nature?"

You hum, and then look to the ground, defeated. It’s not what your previous doctor told you, but what could you do about that?

…So much for obtaining a cure, but now you could at least say to your ladies and Naoaki that you tried once you returned to the estate, whom you know would inevitably tackle you with their concern as soon as you set foot into the grounds.

Their memory is one that manages to soothe, if just a tiny, miniscule fraction of your pain and fear, embracing you with the sensation of being wanted— cared for—which never came from your husband, not even now.

“So what— is there something good that I can… relay to my father?” Naoya asks, digging and searching through whatever it was that he could find to complete the first part of Ranta’s plan, even with his father unforeseen intervention—get a professional opinion to back up his pursuits when going back to the elders, whom he knew would be awaiting for him when he returned to the estate.

Ironic, in a way. Just how similar the two of you were. In your same fashion, Naoya also had people waiting for his return; however, only one group genuinely cared for him.

“She’s healthy” The man reiterates “Even if she’s far from where we want her to be, at least she’s no longer at the starting point—doesn’t mean I'd lower my guard, Zen’in-san. Some might think of this as an opportunity to… you know, test her condition”

You grit your teeth. Naoya swallows. But both wonder just how far the voices of his relatives had spread.

Yet, before either is able to wonder the depths of their interference, the doctor's chuckle interrupts them yet again.

“Or she might, who knows?” He jests, and after he deemed relayed all the information he believed to be relevant, the man beckons them through the door and onto the reception, requesting the employee to bill their payment according to the procedures completed, as well as opening a date for them for the following check up if so desired. Which the man had eerily presumed to be soon.

He doesn't say much after that, less when he catches sight of a prim, but slightly pale and undeniably nervous woman sitting by the waiting area, accompanied by a man on her left side who appeared to be miserable just by being there, which quickly reminded of another consultation to complete.

Once bidding his farewells to your husband, he asks them to follow him, and you and your husband are left alone with the receptionist, an unpaid bill, and your thoughts, which didn’t leave the couple due to an uncanny sensation of familiarity.

While Naoya prepared his payment, you decided to dig a little deeper behind these feelings, wasting no more than a few seconds to find the reason as to why you couldn’t stop thinking of them: because they reminded you of your marriage. It's almost as if your soul had left your body and we're now seeing your predicament to an outsider's eyes; a vision of how you believed to be perceived by others when they glanced at you.

A woman, terrified of her companion whilst she carried a symptom that obviously brought her here, while the other couldn’t care less as to why he was there, just seeking an answer, offering no support.

Looks like people with the same putrid morals stick to one another as in a pack, and his office was to serve as some kind of refuge to them.

The thought is enough to sicken you, however, it quickly escapes your attention upon hearing the receptionist offering your husband farewells, and with it, signifying the end of this long-enough day.

Here you realize that even with all your obstacles, your visit wasn't as fruitless as you started to believe just a few seconds ago.

You at least managed to find out that in the bigger picture, you were healthy. Everything seemed to be in order, on the right path, even if its destination was not one that you wanted.

But just because you were on its road didn’t mean you’d end up there. You’d take what you need, such as these declarations, relay them to those that are close and trustworthy to you, and do what you intended.

Whatever it was that Naoya planned to do with this outing, it escaped your interest. Although you could admit that you were upset by it.

Did he think that by his feigned interest, his words of attention sprinkled here and there, and how he attempted to care for you would be a step closer to getting to talk to him? Or worse, that you'd help him achieve a noble standing with his family?

Maybe there was some possibility with the last, but with the other, he was being nothing more than a fool, and you couldn’t be any happier that you were going back to the estate, to be away from him.

It was unusual, really. That you’d ever find comfort in going back to the wretched house that has done nothing but harbor your misery. But at this moment there’s nothing more than you’d wish for.

In fact, such was your eagerness to leave all of this behind, that you sprinted past the scorned man you called husband as soon as the door was unlocked and to the elevator, careless to see if he was following you, and fervently called the lift.

Such was your eagerness, your desperation, that your blood started to rush.

Your ears were ringing, your vision slightly blurry, as you continued onto your path of escape, your freedom, symbolically represented by the shiny, dark car.

But while this figure represented the door of your liberation, away from the presence that has been nothing but tormenting for you, the one behind you could not see the same safety you foresaw.

To him, it was the closing of an opportunity, one that was slipping through his fingers which he had to seize before it was too late.

He knew that if he didn’t take the chance, then it would be too late. You’d clench to your frigidity, and then, disappear. Dissipate into the confines of his home, into the grasp of your ladies, and naturally, the arms of his brother.

Naoya couldn’t let this finish, not this way, and certainly, not when he believed he still had much to fight for.

He had to act quick, he had to take drastic measures, and then, he did.

It was the one thing you wished to not hear during your outing, the one that silently horrified you, looming at the back of your mind throughout the day.

Such an harmless tactic, and yet, was tainted with nothing but pain and horror.

One that you thought to be saved from, away from reaching you, but would make a shocking return to the point of stopping you in your tracks, pulling the air out of your lungs as you hear him say:

"Want to get something to eat?"

#naoya zenin #naoya zen'in #naoya x reader #naoya zenin x reader #naoya zenin x your #jjk naoya #naoya zen'in x reader #series: first it hurts—

16 notes · View notes

bbygirl-aemond · 1 year

Note

When you’re writing, do you ever write ahead? Like you have this one scene in your mind that isn’t going to take place for awhile but you’ve got it perfect and want to capture it?

oh all the time! though there's usually a BIG difference in quality between the way i try to get an idea on paper, and the eventual polished scene it'll become. i have a few examples of this that won't count as spoilers for anything that hasn't happened yet in stormbreak, in case you're curious!

here's the first example, which is basically the brainrot that eventually became the scene between aemond and daemon in chapter 8. i wrote this before the fic was even posted to ao3, so really far in advance, and it was obviously over two months before i actually went through in more detail and wrote the scene you can read in stormbreak:

and here's a second example, with the scene between aemond and daemon in chapter 9. i wrote this one in much more detail than the previous example:

so long story short: yes, all the time! i have way too much rattling around upstairs to let certain scenes just waste away there until it's time to write them. but as you can see here, i'll write a very unpolished version that's basically just me typing nonstop. the most important thing to me here is to get the VIBES right, which is a very professional way of referring to things like pace, tone, emotion, and tension.

and as you'll be able to tell if you cross-reference this with stormbreak, these drafts often get pretty heavily refined and reshuffled when it comes time to actually write them out. also, it's not uncommon for me to write this kind of draft several times for the same scene, and then to pick and choose my favorite parts of each draft to create the final product. i'm pretty sure i went through like eight different stream-of-consciousness iterations of the vermithor scene from this most recent chapter alone!

other scenes that were cobbled together from multiple brainrot drafts include rhaenyra proposing marriage to aemond in chapter 6, aemond's escape attempt and daemon catching him in chapter 8, each of aemond and rhaenyra's weddings in chapter 10, baela becoming heir to driftmark in chapter 14, basically the entirety of chapter 15, and next week's chapter!

#ask #asks #answered #hotd #house of the dragon #stormbreak chapter 8 #stormbreak chapter 9 #fic: stormbreak #fic #stormbreak #aemond targaryen #aemond #aemond one eye #daemon targaryen #daemon

23 notes · View notes

aparticularbandit · 4 months

Text

State of Bandit Fic

I haven't done one of these since September of 2022, so let's have some fun and do one again!

As with the others, this will start with addressing current multi-chapter fics, multi-chapter fics that are mentioned in the previous SoBF post, and then ideas that were mentioned in the same.

...and then get into ideas I may have for future stuff, which is fun to look back on over a year later and just I forgot all about that idea wow that was cool maybe I should do that. XD

These get long, so it's below the cut!

Not putting goals for what the year should look like because I just did that massive goals post and I don't want to be more specific than that! Woo!

I did finish Finding Family, though - wow this thing is old - so! Yay for that!

Stuff I've Started and Haven't Finished:

If You Lived Here, You'd Be Home Now I still think about this, but at this point, it's probably abandoned. It made it to a good stopping point, which makes it harder to return to.

What Dreams May Come I also still think about this on occasion, but it's safe to say this one is also likely abandoned. Sorry about that.

Fragments of Color Yeah, this is also abandoned. I think I did with Kisses what I intended to do with this fic before getting caught up in playing around with the world of the Hex. Oh well.

The Time of Your Life aka Roisa Soulmate Timer AU Y'all know I've had book four done for, like, three years at this point, and I'd like to get around to editing and posting that, but there's a certain level of spoons involved in going back and rereading things and then doing a second write on this to make sure it's internally consistent with the three fics that came before, and also if I remember correctly, it's in of itself longer than the entirety of the series up to this point, so like. I would like to do this. It's still sitting on here. I don't know if I'll actually finish the series or write the fifth fic, but. I'd like to at least post the fic I have done at some point.

If You Lived Here, You'd Be Home Now I still think about this, but at this point, it's probably abandoned. It made it to a good stopping point, which makes it harder to return to.

What Dreams May Come I also still think about this on occasion, but it's safe to say this one is also likely abandoned. Sorry about that.

Fragments of Color Yeah, this is also abandoned. I think I did with Kisses what I intended to do with this fic before getting caught up in playing around with the world of the Hex. Oh well. Actually, having now reread what I had for this, it was going in a completely different direction than Kisses that was a lot more meta, and I'd kind of like to go back to playing around with the constraints of the Hex and Wanda's control of it or whatever was going on in this fic.

Ms. Mackie aka Mrs. Fletcher s2 Just because I still have a good idea of how this would go - or at least the highlights of it - does not mean I will be going back to it. Consider this one abandoned.

Be Mine, Valentine Has really just shifted into the collection of one-shots that is The Valentines Collection instead of being a chapter by chapter fic. This isn't abandoned, it just took on a different form than was intended when I started the fic. And honestly? I like it better this way. Speaking of:

The Valentines Collection Which doesn't go here in terms of oldest to newest (roughly) but that was a good segue to bring this up here. I have more planned for this. I will probably write more in this. I love the Valentines and I love this AU and it's one of my favorites for writing general life stuff and I love it. So expect more Valentines in the future.

A Sea Psalm for a Penitent Soul Yeah, this is abandoned, I do not plan on going back to let's write all of the explicit details of the three centuries of Agatha's very traumatic life sorry not sorry.

The Nature of Soulmates Abandoned. I'm no longer comfortable with some of the content that was in this. I may do something with these ideas in the future, but if I do, it will most likely not be in the form of fanfic. Sorry, not sorry.

Something Gained I like pairing Eve and Clare up together. I think Clare's disaster of a person plays well off of Eve's mothering everyone instinct. This was certainly not intended to be a ship. I just liked seeing them play off of each other! But I don't know if I'll go back to this one in specific or not. We'll see? I guess?

Stolen This also has been abandoned. I'm no longer comfortable with some of the things this may or may not have included.

Agatha and Stephen Go on a Trip aka the Finding Family sequel Still planning on continuing this, have much firmer ideas for what's going on than I did when I started, don't know when I'll go back to it, but I still plan to go back to it!

Take A Sad Song and Make It Better I like the idea of going back to this but don't know if I will. Not officially abandoned, but am unsure.

Wundagore's Punishment Don't know if I'll finish this one or not. Probably not. Mostly because I think the last part would be another multi-chapter fic and like. I don't know if I want to go back to it or not.

Agave Stuff I actually really want to go back to this. I actually have another Agathian backstory part planned out and everything. And a sequel! So I wouldn't say this is abandoned, because it's not! Just playing around with thoughts and things.

Earth-1257 This was originally imagined as a one-shot and may stay that way. Or I may turn it into another collection of interconnected fics like The Valentines Collection. Which, honestly, I like better for this! So maybe that!

On Toons and Magic I like the premise of this. I know most of the overarching stuff with this, although not the entire ending. I know some of the complications. I've started the next chapter. This, too, might be better served as interconnected one-shots except that there is an overarching specific story. This one is just tough to write. So we'll see. It isn't abandoned! Just might be slow.

Winter Firsts Definitely planning on going back to this. I have been enjoying having the girls play with winter stuff.

Life is but a Dream LOOK, Y'ALL. I'm SO excited to get back to this now that I'm not trying to get something up daily. I have MISSED this fic and I know how it ends and where it is going and also there's a sequel have I mentioned that it's the first part of a three part series, which to be honest will probably not look like you expect. But I'm SO excited to get back to this one!!

Holiday Party Planning to get back to this one but it is hard to try and maintain this many characters all at once which makes it harder for me to get back to it.

For Fake Yeah, I still plan on finishing this, it's almost done, probably two more chapters left? Maybe? Something like that.

Okay, Everyone! Also planning on finishing this, there's only one more chapter left, etc.

On Tea and Ghosties Also plan on finishing this, there's only one more chapter left, I've already started it, etc.

Ideas Mode: and Unanswered Prompts:

JTV rewrite ALA Jane doesn't get inseminated but Petra does Still a cool idea. Probably not going to write it.

Wanda/Bedelia Fic aka Bandit Rewrites WandaVision again but EVERYONE GETS THERAPY The idea of this is still very good, and I still very much want to write this, and probably throw in my.... Wait, I think I actually started this at some point. I don't know if I'll go back to it, but I still very much like the idea.

Harximoff Music Man AU I started this and got...into the second? chapter? I think? I don't know if I'll go back to it, though, and I don't want to post what I have if I'm not going to go back to it, you know? So we'll see about that.

The Visions kiss people and get stuck Planning on answering this one! Just haven't yet! Will probably separate this into two parties. Probably.

Alpine and Liho meeting each other IS THE LAST OF YOUR FOUR THANK YOU FOR THESE BTW. I have not read stuff with the kitties in it BUT Marvel Meow comes out this month and I may write this after reading that.

Agatha and Eglantine Price I want to see Bedknobs and Broomsticks again before writing this but I very much want to write this.

America x Kamala Wizard of Oz I have been trying to think this one through because I would have to pull in other characters to fill out the Oz cast and I'm still playing around with how I would reimagine this one. I'm not sure it would end up as the kind of ship that you want. But I've been thinking about it on and off! (Addendum that I will likely not be the songfics you requested because I do not the songfic. I could maybe take a line from them and go from there? Idk. Sorry!)

Bucky x Natasha Hanukkah fic Surprisingly enough, I've started this! I just feel woefully...underqualified to write it. I'm planning to finish it, but I have a friend who I want to read it first before I post it to make sure that I'm not...offensive or wrong or any of the other things that can happen when someone who is not of a religion writes a fic around one of the holidays of that religion or characters who are of that religion or a fic that focuses very much on themes that would engage with religious beliefs. This one might take a while, but I like the idea, I like the story I've started for it, I just...want to be careful with it. So it might take a bit. Sorry!

I have more ideas for things that I may or may not play around with (the second fic in the trilogy that starts with Life is but a Dream is one I'm super excited for, actually), but...I think I'm going to keep those to myself. There's not a lot of concrete stuff, just stuff I want to get back to and continue. Idea I maybe want to return to. Stuff like that.

So! That's the massive update!

(Oh, I do still have Danganronpa fic ideas that I'm playing around with, but I feel like I should finish more of the series before getting into those. But! I want to write more DR stuff! Eventually!)

#musings #bandit does an update #state of bandit fic #bandit writes fic

3 notes · View notes

your-tutor-abacus · 4 months

Text

Fikwakyet

Translated to "Fairport" in the English versions of the Sunspot Chronicles, Fikwakyet is a city that is more unique than any other in the Garden of `etekeyerrinwuf.

I explain a bit about the why of that in my own book, Ni'a. But, to recap:

When the Sunspot was built, the Founding Crew designed the shapes of the corridors, the contours of the Garden, and the placement and foundations of the cities. Then they let the Children build upon and between all of that and make the ship their own.

But Fikwakyet was a special project. Fenmere (a.k.a. Fenemere) wanted to run an experiment, and managed to get the Crew Council to approve it.

Part of the whole point of the Sunspot was to make a strict and sudden cultural break from the millennia of fascism that had been plaguing their predecessor ship, the Terra Supreme (Feruukepikape). And for most of the Sunspot's architecture and culture, everything was derived from shapes and themes found in nature, and everything that reminded the Founding Crew of the Terra Supreme was done away with.

Fenmere contended that certain aesthetic choices were not inherently fascist, and wanted to demonstrate this by having one city where certain old elements could be reintroduced, starting with rectangular foundations for its buildings (instead of the scutoid structures found everywhere else on the Sunspot).

Fenmere had other reasons for doing this, besides trying to prove this point, and those reasons are likely to be visited in the last few chapters of the Sunspot Chronicles (I'll refrain from spoilers here).

The result is that, somewhat coincidentally, due to how right angles tend to work, when we finally made contact with Earth through the Tunnel Apparatus, it was remarked upon how similar Fikwakyet is to many Earth cities.

There are some critical differences, of course. The scales of things are not the same, because we build to accommodate both the largest and the smallest of our people, as well as for many disabilities.

Also, we have nothing like industry or commerce. At least, not driven by anything remotely like profit.

@ashwin-the-artless explains this in nems post titled Cities.

But, I'd like to use this opportunity to highlight another aesthetic difference. The alignment of our windows.

This is something that can be seen in almost all Sunspot cities, except perhaps Agaricales (which is a little more chaotic than most).

There are two axes of spectacular views on the Sunspot: foreward and aft; and spin and antispinward.

To the fore and aft, you can witness the sunbirths and sundeaths, and also the moonbirths and moondeaths. It some people really value that, and build their houses to give them as much view of that axis of the Garden as possible from anywhere in their house.

Perpendicular to that, spinward and antispinward, you can see the curvature of the Garden on a clear day, and the geography of it and neighboring cities, and honestly, even though I've lived with those views for the entirety of the Sunspot's existence, I still find them utterly breathtaking.

We try to show this off with the other photos of the Sunspot we share with you. This photo, here, however, demonstrates the effect on the architecture of the houses.

It's pretty rare that you'll find any building that is not aligned with one of these axes. And those that are tend to have wrap around windows that accommodate views of as much of the Garden as possible all around.

Another difference between the Sunspot and the Earth at the time of this writing is that our windows are more durable, more insulating, and more configurable. We can change their transparent and reflective properties on command. Which means that we have very few incentives to not make a wall a window, except perhaps to give us room to hang something or to place furniture against it in an aesthetic way.

But, solid walls and ceilings are still just a tad more insulating than our windows, so some people do opt for more opaque housing.

But if you don't want the views or the light, you'll usually choose to live belowdecks anyway.

#Fikwakyet #Fairport #the Sunspot Chronicles #a tour of the sunspot

2 notes · View notes

yazthebookish · 3 years

Text

Today's post will be about the comparison between Wings and Embers "Cassian and Nesta's POV" and Azriel's POV.

Let me put it out there because I did make a comparison before.

They are not the same.

Some readers pick certain lines that fit in with how Azriel's chapter was structured, or to be specific, Elain's scene with Azriel. But when you look at both chapters as a whole, they are quite different.

The only reason comparisons are drawn is because Sarah's writing follows a similar pattern but the context of the scenes are very different.

I could draw scenes from Sarah's other books and they would fit in with the ones in ACOTAR because of Sarah's writing pattern. They would make sense but when looking at the context of those scenes it doesn't.

It's like a puzzle piece. You have two puzzles (1 and 2) and you could pick up a piece from puzzle 1 that could fit into puzzle 2 but you know even if it fits, that piece doesn't belong there.

I'll go a bit detailed here so expand the post if you'd like to read it. I mean really detailed.

Wings and Embers had dual POVs:

• Cassian

• Nesta

Azriel's chapter had one POV:

• Azriel

That's the first major difference between the chapters. We had a look on how both Cassian and Nesta felt in the chapter while we only had Azriel's feelings throughout the entirety of his chapter.

Another important difference is:

• Wings and Embers featured two characters only: Cassian and Nesta.

• Azriel's chapter featured four characters: Elain, Rhysand, Gwyn, Clotho.

---

Embers and Wings starts with Cassian's traveling to the human realm to send a message to Nesta from Rhys for the queens. He flew to the mansion while thinking of Nesta and their first encounter. He thought of every word and look exchanged between them which were none pleasant. He didn't know why was worse that he thought about it so much or that he accepted the opportunity to send the message to her too quickly.

Azriel's chapter starts with him struggling with sleep on Solstice night. His shadows whispered to him to sleep and he replied with he wish he could but sleep rarely found him these days. His thoughts slice through him, too many wants and needs. He sleeps only when his body gives out. He thought of his envy of his brothers that he couldn't stop. He'd be swallowed by it if he remained in his room.

---

Nesta and Cassian immediately get into a conversation. There is some tension overall and teasing some Cassian's side.

His temper rose with dizzying speed at the words, the absurd perfection of her. A blade given form—that's what she was. He smiled, slow and vicious, precisely in the way he'd learned made his enemies start running. Nothing, save for the delicate flare of her nostril. “How is my sister?”

There is an immediate fiery chemistry between them. The tension intrigues the reader.

Cassian and Nesta circled one another as if they're predators sizing each one up. He confronted her and she didn't recoil or yield as he towered over her.

When he breathed in her scent it hit him in the gut. He stopped the temptation of burying his face in her neck and shoulder. Of touching.

As for Nesta's POV next she notes that Cassian is a dangerous male. He wasn't dangerous for his physical appearance but he was dangerous because his hazel eyes assess everything and everyone... including her.

She held his stare, willing him not to look too deep, too far. She'd rather distract him with barbed words and dismissal than let him look deeply through her.

The questions thrown at each other about being with a male built up the sexual tension that simmered ever since they were behind closed doors. Then the brief physical touches started between them. That was interrupted when she striked Cassian with her words and briefly recalled Tomas. The fear in her was detected by Cassian and it triggered his rage.

She saw sincerity in wanting to protect her, it unnerved her. That he honored his promises. She sees through him.

This vulnerable moment, where they stared at one another, Cassian leaned towards her and Nesta tipping her head back as he grazed his nose against their throat.

It shifts back to Cassian's POV. He is consumed by Nesta. He couldn't step back from the line drawn between them; he saw the thoughts swirling in her, the cunning mind at work behind that face, the face he couldn't get out of his heads the past weeks.

She allowed him access to her throat and he had to rein in his instinct brutally so he does not beg on his knees for a touch or anything.

Feeling her soft skin awakening him sexually, and intrinsic part of him latched in him. He brushed her throat with his lips, he tried not to think of the hand that clutched at him, how it would feel on other parts of him.

A brush of him tongue made her jolt back. He beat her before venom blasted from her mouth “Wound a bit tight these days, Nesta?”. Then she accused him of faerie magic and then as he teased her she had to throw an "bastard" insult back at him.

He then thought about why would her care? He thought of the future, of the fact they would only have a few decades before things becoming awkward between them. The matter of explaining it to everyone else.

He then thought of Mor. Of his past with her and Az. Mor who was a family, friend and lover between himself. He had lovers for nights and months and Mor never cared. But Nesta is different. “This woman standing before him like a pillar of steel and flames . . . Cassian didn't want to tell Mor her. About how he'd touched that neck.”

They bicker about Nesta wanting someone else to come next time and Cassian would rather deal with her other sister. She even strikes a more vicious attack at him by the deserving more than a bastard-born nobody.

There is a physical struggle and rage between them until Nesta hits the mark between his legs.

Here is how the chapter ends:

There is a storm of emotions in this chapter: intrigue, tension, desire, passion, vulnerability, rage, guilt, frustration.

Nesta and Cassian's chemistry just hits like a fireball. The sexual tension and their interactions is off the roof. They connect but they always claw and bark at each other.

What is also highlighted is this is their second encounter. They see through each other. Nesta is intimidated by Cassian because of how easily he can see and break through the adamant walls she keeps up. By thought of her, he thought of a future with her. He is consumed by her and she is too yet it exposes her and so she reacts viciously, to hide herself.

By the end of ACOSF, we know that Nesta loves him from first sight and that loved scared her and she felt unworthy of him.

---

Elain's scene starts with her coming down the stairs and she halts when she finds Azriel. She wanted to leave his gift among the opened ones since she forgot to give it to him, but even without his shadows telling him he can detect her lie, she waited until everyone went to sleep.

She seems nervous as she gave him the gift with shaking hands. Azriel tried not to look at his scarred hands as he took the gift and he recalled Elain's last Solstice gift, a headache powder that he kept by his nightstand not to use but look at which he'd done every night he slept there.

He unwrapped the box and found earmuffs in it and the card written on it that he may find them useful these days living with Nesta and Cassian and he chuckles. She didn't give him in front of everyone as Nesta might have no appreciated the joke. He offered a smile back and told her he wasn't sure if he should give her the gift. The rest was left unspoken because her mate was in the house sleeping. He stayed away by the door earlier in the family room because he couldn't stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, he needed an option to leave if it became too much.

Elain eyes flickered aware of it and aware of why Azriel rarely came to family dinners these days. But tonight where no one could see them.. he pulled her gift from his shadows and opened it for her. Elain sucked in a soft breath and his shadows skittered back at the sound, mentioning that they tend to vanish when she is around.

The gift is a Golden necklace with an unremarkable chain and the charm could be dismissed as an everyday charm, a small flat rose made of stained glass, when held to the light the true depth of the colors become visible, hues of red, pink and white. He describes it to be a thing of secret, lovely beauty.

Elain whispers it’s beautiful and asks him to put it on her. He lets his shadows whisk away the box and here is the part where he puts on the necklace. His scarred hands linger on her immaculate skin. It never gone this far, they exchanged looks and the occasional brush of their fingers but never unrestricted touching. Wrong.. It was so wrong but he didn’t care.

He felt aroused, he prayed she didn’t look down or detect the shift in his scent. He only allowed these thoughts at night when even his shadows went to sleep. He allowed himself to fantasize using his hand about her and how that beautiful face might appear and what sounds she made as he entered her.

She mentions that she should go and Azriel replies with a yes while stroking the side of her throat and he scented her arousal and wanted to beg on his knees for a chance to taste it but he continued to stroke her neck again.

She drifted closer and looked up at him with a trusting and hopeful face that he thought of how she had no idea of the unspeakable things he had done that sullied his hands beyond their scars.

She said yes to have a taste in the longest night of the year where the mother only may witness them.

They were interrupted by Rhys and Azriel stopped while Elain awaited his kiss. He pulled his hand from her hair as he said it was a mistake and Elain, hurt and confused, said she was sorry. He asked her to not apologize, never apologize it was he who should but he couldn’t stand the bleakness on her face that he bid her good night and vanished.

---

Here is where Elain’s scene ends. They barely have a conversation unlike Nesta and Cassian where there was a whirlwind of emotions and tension between them, it built up their sexual tension until they physically touched and it did not feel off. There was no description of Azriel’s feelings for Elain outside of sexual. The attraction is there, but to have known someone for two years and these sexual feelings are only the visible ones is concerning especially now that we are in his head you’d expect more. There was desire but the sexual tension felt off because of the language used as if she was this perfect being and how Azriel’s self-loathing weighed in heavy on the page. It’s like an idolization, putting this person on a pedestal. After their companionship and the war, you’d expect more sentimental feelings to be present and thoughts of her that were non-sexual or unrelated to the jealousy he feels over her and Lucien’s mating bond. Not that sexual thoughts are not normal, since Cassian has those thoughts in W&E too. The difference is Cassian thought more on Nesta as a person, he thought of her for weeks, he could see through her and see the person she is with all her beauty and flaws. He wanted to go on his knees for her because of his desire, but he also wanted to protect her and thought of a future that includes her.

---

At Rhy’s study, Azriel dons a frozen mask as Rhys asks him if he is out of his mind and Azriel replies that he doesn’t know what he is talking about. Rhys confronts him about him almost kiss with Elain while her mate Lucien is in the house and where anyone could see them. Azriel let his cold rage surface as he knew his brother is the only one that could match it.

Azriel drops the bomb question “What if the Cauldron was wrong?” and Rhys blinks and replies “What of Mor, Az?” but Azriel ignored the question. He goes on by saying the Cauldron chose three sisters, so how is it possible his brothers ended up with two yet the third was given to another. He never dared to speak these words aloud before. That leads to Rhys asking if he believed he deserves to be Elain’s mate to which Azriel answers that he thinks Lucien will never be good enough for her. Rhys asks “so you’ll what? seduce her away from him?” but Azriel said nothing, he only thought of that he hadn’t gone that far with his planning, nothing beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself.

Rhysand orders Azriel to stay away from her to which Az replies that he can’t order him to do that but Rhys reaffirms that he can and he will because of the following concerns, one of then is the chance that Lucien may invoke the Blood Duel if he finds out Azriel is pursuing his mate.

The Rhys scene is putting a stop to Azriel from pursuing Elain. You’d think Azriel would state compelling reasons for why he wants Elain. It was all about the mating bond and the belief that the Cauldron wronged him, just like his brothers ended up with two sisters, he should’ve had Elain but instead she was given to another. In comparison to Cassian, Cassian thoughts of the decades he’d have with Nesta if they ended up together. Azriel wanted a taste in only one night, he hadn’t gone far with his planning about pursuing her. Nothing went beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to at night. That is a major difference. There was some entitlement in the way Azriel views the mating bond and Cauldron situation because the equation for him did not fit. He goes as far as to say he is ready to defeat Lucien in a Blood Duel if he invoked it, without thinking of the devastating impact it would have on Elain if Lucien died even if she did not have any feelings for him, the mating bond is a soul connection, it will shatter her. He also goes on and dismiss the question about Mor which hints at him having no closure with Mor or redirecting those unreciprocated feelings from Mor to Elain.

---

Azriel leaves the river estate to the House of Wind, he flies toward the training ring to work off his frustration and rage and then he notices someone in the ring, his shadows did not warn him and it was too late not to land. He finds Gwyn in the ring training on cutting the ribbon. She apologizes for occupying the ring since she thought all of them would spend the night at the estate. Azriel quickly replies with its fine he forgot something, the lie as smooth as cool as his face. Gwyn smiles at him and he thinks its directed at his curious shadows who peered over his wings at her.

She explained that she was trying to cut the ribbon. They talked and then there was silence and for a heartbeat, their gazes met. He blocked out the bloody memory from Sangravah, he’d been the one to find her that day. so at odds with the Gwyn in front of him and she ducked her head remembering it too.

She bids him a Happy Solstice and he takes it as a dismissal and he teases her if she was kicking him out and her eyes flashed with alarm that it wasn’t about that but she knows he likes to be alone and asks him if that’s the reason he came to the ring but he reminds her that he forgot something. She teases him about it being two in the morning with pure amusement and he offers a crooked smile saying he can’t sleep without his favorite dagger to which she replies a comfort to every growing child and his lips twitched, refrained from telling her that slept with a dagger, many dagger in fact.

She asked about the Solstice party, her breath in the cold curled in front of her that one of his shadows darted out to dance with it before twirling back to him as if it heard some silent music. He replies with “Fine.” but realizes its not an acceptable answer and adds “it was nice.”. Still not much better so he asks her about the priestesses celebration and answers says yes but the service was the main highlight.

She then asks if he sings which surprises him because its not everyday that people take him by surprise and he says why does she ask.

He asks her then to try to cut the ribbon with him watching. He was grateful for the coldness and the distraction of this impromptu lesson. She considered and he expected her to say no but she steadied her feet and a beautiful, precise blow but it didn’t cut the ribbon. She tried it again but failed.

Azriel draws his blade and demonstrates to her on how to handle it. He shows her how to rotate the blade with his wrist and how to correct her position. she tries to imitate the movement and he watched her while fighting the urge to open up her wrist and rotate the blade. She tried it a few times until she started to get it right and then joked about how she blames Cassian for this because he is too focused on Nesta, making Azriel laugh.

She thanked him with a broad smile and he sketched a bow, feeling the restless thing in him settle down, even his shadows have calmed as if content to lounge on his shoulders and watch. He then remembered he needs to at least attempt to sleep.

He wishes her a happy solstice as he left the ring and told her not to stay out too long in the cold or else she’d freeze and Gwyn nods her farewell and faces the ribbon. As he was descending the stairs he heard faint beautiful singing following him to which his shadows sang back to.

---

Their whole interaction in this scene was heartwarming. Azriel coming to the ring to work off his rage and then after his conversation with Gwyn him and his shadows have calmed down. The shadows are dancing and singing which is a reaction we have never gotten from them. Gwyn gave him a way out to leave the ring since she knows he likes to be alone but he teased her back and they had a conversation. He had shown more positive reactions in this scene than the first scene with Elain. He was very aware of his scarred hands in that scene but with Gwyn as he demonstrated with his wrist, he wasn’t really self-aware or described his hands as scarred. For the first time, we know something about Azriel that had been revealed by a new character like Gwyn is that he sings. There was a brimming chemistry between them but in a way smooth, and easy way. This was such a feel-good scene.

---

He slept as well as could be expected and went back to the river house to collect his solstice gifts and found that Elain returned the necklace. He pocketed and spent the rest of the day even during the snowball fight with the intention of returning it to the shop. But when he returned from the cabin in the mountains, by seven in the evening he found himself at the library under the House of Wind at Clotho’s office.

He slid the gift box to Clotho asking her to give it to Gwyn if she sees her. Clotho asks if it’s a Solstice gift from him and he asks not to tell Gwyn its from him. Clotho then inquires and Azriel replies that does she have to know its from him, he says tell her it was a gift from Rhys but Clotho called it a lie. He avoided the urge to cross as a memory flashed of his father crossing his arms and his mother cringing before him. Azriel was about to speak but his voice became quiet. As if to deflect the situation, he asks her to give it to any priestess but he won’t take the necklace with him. Clotho notes that his eyes are sad and he answers that he lost the snowball fight. Clotho agrees that she will give it to Gwyn as a gift from a friend but then he wonders that he wouldn’t go as far as call Gwyn a friend “but . . .” so he thanks Clotho.

---

His last scene with Clotho is focused on Gwyn and him wanting her to have this gift that was originally for Elain and she returned it “which still will bite him back in the ass by both ladies”. What struck me was how romantically coded the last passage of the chapter was. It ended with him thinking of Gwyn. It ended with him calling the image of her that he buried inside of him where it glowed quietly “a thing of secret, lovely beauty”.The first thing he said to Clotho was to give this gift to Gwyn and then with Clotho seeming like she didn’t want to lie and might tell Gwyn about who it was from he kind of wanted to deflect the situation by claiming any priestess can have it. His almost crossed arm stance triggered a memory of his father, it seems like that plays into how he tries to avoid being someone like his father which makes me wonder how many times do these memories come back to him and how do they dictate his behavior.

---

So, It’s very obvious that Azriel’s chapter is not meant to be taken or treated as a Wings and Embers replica because that chapter was a purely Cassian/Nesta “Nessian” chapter while Azriel’s chapter is Azriel’s chapter.

I think the way Sarah structure his chapter was smart.

You had Elain and then Rhy’s scene who is technically her guardian after.

You had Gwyn and then Clotho’s scene who is her guardian after.

The Elain and Rhys scene were conflicting but the Gwyn and Clotho scenes felt smooth and easy. There were four characters the focus was on Azriel and how we dealt with each scene and what kind of emotions came out during those scenes.

Of course, this is my own interpretation there are many different ones out there. It’s fun to do this but honestly I am drained because I started this draft in the morning and I took breaks and kept it in my drafts for a while and wrote in a part whenever I had the time.

Hope you enjoyed reading this one, it’s long I know but I hope it’s worth your precious minutes 💓

#acosf #acosf spoilers #gwynriel #azriel #gwyneth berdara #azriel chapter

163 notes · View notes