#Its been a few months since i finished toh

[travlersjoy444]

Masked and Beat (pt.3)

TOH Hunter/the Golden Guard x reader

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Word count: 2k

Trigger warning: Panic attack, stress

*******

  It had been a nice past few months- probably the nicest I’d had since I joined the Emperor’s Coven.

  I smiled and signed the letter with the golden quill Lilith had gifted me a while ago.

  See ya soon, Hunter!

  Sincerely, 

  Cinder

  I sealed the letter- I’d mail it later today, after my mission with Goldie.

  Well. Mission was dramatic, to be honest. Like my mentor, I rarely did the same combat missions as Goldie- my power was more in undercover work, spying, and strategy, so Goldie and I usually steered clear of each other. Especially after the incident from a few months ago, when the Golden Guard had to…let down his guard. 

  Things between us had been…awkward since then.

  But I’m getting off topic: the point is, this supposed ‘mission’ was simply to secure the perimeter of the castle while the Hexside students visited for their field trip. Make sure no one was sneaking away, keep Kikimora from getting mad and killing a child- you know, the usual. 

  But before the mission, I had to report to Lilith. 

  I finished getting ready- my usual bold lipstick, fake fang, and eye mask…

  It was nice going out as Cinder, I had realized, because without all of (Y/N)’s iconic fashion, I was less intimidating. Emira and Edric both claimed that I was still intimidating as Cinder, but….I dunno, Cinder’s intimidation levels had started to feel more…genuine. Like…people were scared because Cinder was cool. While (Y/N)’s felt cheap. Like a persona that had overstayed its welcome. People feared (Y/N) because (Y/N) had powerful magic and a black-and-red color scheme. 

  What if I were to…

  I frowned and slowly tugged off my black cloak, opting instead for just my basic outfit. 

  Yes. Better.

  My outfit looked somewhat like a casual version of Lilith's, which I built on by adding a replica of her signature blue gem- like with the Golden Guard’s mask corresponding with Belos, it marked me as her apprentice. I usually wore it as a cloak pin, but today…today it would just be a normal blouse pin, I decided.

  For whatever reason, the more approachable clothes felt better today somehow. 

  Well. Weird musing aside, today would hopefully be an okay day. It would be fun to just…wander the castle, without worrying about deadlines or death threats!

  By the time I had reached Lilith’s office, I found myself shockingly optimistic, actually! Maybe Ed and Em would be at Hexside’s field trip today, that’d be fun. And there had been rumors lately about a human at Hexside! That would be exciting.

  I swung the door open to see my mentor in the midst of a panic.

  “...Um…Lilith? You okay?” I said hesitantly, taking in the sight. She was knelt on the ground amongst towering piles of boxes, digging through things- oh, papers. It was like a leaf pile of paperwork.

  “(Y/N)!” Lilith jumped. “Oh- I completely forgot about our meeting today, forgive me.”

  I frowned. I wasn’t very in-character for Lilith to forget things.

  “...Are you doin’ okay?” I asked, picking up one of the papers.

  “Yes, Yes, it’s nothing to worry about. Just a mission is all, a very…important mission.”

  An important mission…

  My heart pounded as I remembered what Belos said…Replacing Lilith…

  “What kind of mission?” I said evenly, trying to conceal my worry.

  Lilith stood up, dusting off her dress. “Just another recruitment mission.”

  Oh. That meant it was about Edalyn. Lilith only got this way surrounding her family, and besides, she was much too high-ranked to be in charge of a basic recruitment mission.

  “...You’re trying to catch Edalyn again, huh.” I said softly.

  Lilith sighed. “Is it that obvious?”

  I nodded. 

  “(Y/N)...I know how you feel about my sister, but joining our coven would help her! It would heal her curse!”

  “I know. I just…” I trailed off, unsure of what to say.

  I didn’t like that Lilith couldn’t just leave Edalyn alone. Her sister didn’t want to join the coven, simple as that! And besides…she had me. Wasn’t I enough? 

  I shook my head. I was being selfish, giving myself too much credit. Lilith could miss her sister and still appreciate her apprentice, obviously. 

  But a rather childish side of me still felt hurt.

  “I don’t know. I just thought we were done trying to catch Edalyn is all.” I lied.

  Lilith shrugged. “Belos is determined, we both know that.”

*******

  And that was the last time I spoke to Lilith before my world imploded.

  It was all too fast that things went wild, but it started when Goldie ran up to me in a bit of a panic the next day. I had been having an afternoon tea with Darius- the head of the abomination coven- when the door flew open.

  “(Y/N)!” He said through heavy breaths.

  “Goldie?” I frowned, setting down my tea.

  “Ugh, what are you doing here Golden Guard?” Sighed Darius. “Don’t tell me it’s another order from Belos, I do not want to deal with that at the moment.”

  “This doesn’t concern you, Darius.” He said as he calmed down. “I’m here for (Y/N).”

  “What is it? Was Belos mad that I taught you how to find the secret passages in the library?”

  “No. Just…come with me. You’ll see.” He said coolly.

  I hesitantly followed him out the door, waving good-bye to Darius. 

  “So…you missed me enough to fetch me while I was busy? Don’t you think that’s a bit clingy?” I smirked, trying to lighten the mood.

  “Bold assumption- maybe I’m just here as moral support for when your day is inevitably ruined!” He said in a falsely cheerful voice.

  I paused. “Umm…what?”

  “Ta-da!” He said, still fake-cheerful as he swung the door open to the balcony on the west end.

  I felt my breath hitch as I met the sight in front of me. 

  The Owl Lady was in her cursed form, in a large cage…awaiting petrification.

  “Were you- were you aware of this?!” I gasped, whipping back to Goldie.

  “Everyone on the isles was aware of it, but Belos didn’t want you to know. He said you’d try to stop it, for your mentor…but that isn’t why I brought you here.” He sighed. “Look a little closer at the cage.”

  Heart racing, I followed his instruction.

  There, in the cage besides the Owl Lady, just sitting there and ready for execution, was Lilith.

  I took a breath, and another, and another. I couldn’t get enough air, I had to get down to the cage, I had to free Lilith, I had to breathe-

  I felt my knees give way, and I dropped to the ground.

  “Lilith! No….” I whispered, trying to catch my breath.

  I felt a hand on my shoulder. The Golden Guard had knelt next to me, staring down at the crowd below.

  “Why is he doing this? Oh Titan, why?” I choked out.

  “Lilith betrayed the coven. She…she freed the Owl Lady against the Titan’s will.” He answered simply, not meeting my eyes. “But…I know you care for her. So I thought…I thought you should get to be here.”

  “Can’t we do something?!” I screamed, shoving his hand off of my shoulder. He flinched, but I continued. “You have your staff, I have my spells- there must be something-” I choked back a sob. We were helpless, and I knew it. Neither of us were prepared to save her, or able to.

  “I…I don’t think so, (Y/N)” He whispered, scooting away from me.

  “I know.” I sobbed, curling towards my knees. “You’re right, I-I’m sorry. I just- I can’t-”

  He moved closer again. “You really liked her, didn’t you?”

  I nodded. “She…she was like a parent to me. Always there to talk…to listen…I hate being this helpless! I should be doing something, saving her….we’re meant to be heroes, but I can’t do anything! I hate being helpless…” I cried.

  The Golden Guard looked back down to the crowd before looking back at me. 

  “We don’t have to stay…you know. To watch the petrification…” 

  I shook my head, staring at the ground. “I have to. I owe it to her, to be there till…till the end…oh my Titan…”

  The Golden Guard put his arm around my shoulder wordlessly. I leaned into him, trying to come back to reality. The ground beneath my hands is cold. My mask is making it tough to see. The air smells like apple blood and metal. These are here. Lilith is…going to die, but that can’t be helped. I can’t do anything right now, and that isn’t my fault. The world isn’t over.

  An intrusive thought popped into my head- Do you think they’ll let me keep Lilith’s statue?- But I shook it away distastefully.  

  This is my reality. 

  My head hurt from crying. 

  The Golden Guard stiffened.

  “Do you hear that?”

  I listened with him…The crowd had started chanting something.

  “Let Eda go! Let Eda go! Let Eda go! Let Eda go!” The crowd screamed. I slowly stood up, staring down to the pavilion. 

  The petrification machine powered up, glowing to life. My heart raced…maybe the people could do something, could stop this…

  The machine was trained on Eda, whose legs began turning to stone. No, no, no….

  Suddenly, a platform rose between the cage and the petrification machine- there was a girl in a blue cloak perched on it. She casted a spell at the base of the machine. Vines bursted out of the ground and rocked the machine to the side, stopping it.

  Lilith was safe. At least for now. 

  Once again, I felt my legs give way, and I collapsed. The Golden Guard caught me.

  “Maybe it’s best to sit down for now, okay?” He said, sounding worried.

  I nodded, but kept my eyes trained on the group. Lilith, the girl, and the weird cat all mounted the Owl Beast and flew away.

  Emperor Belos appeared on the platform. 

  “Children of the Isles. The Titan has told me to spare the Owl Lady's life, but in return, her curse will strip away all her powers. Let her monstrous form be a lesson about the dangers of wild magic.”

  “She’s safe.” I whispered, heart throbbing. “She’s safe.”

*******

  I woke up the next morning in a daze.

  Lilith was okay, but Lilith wouldn’t be able to return to the coven. I was tired of coven life, to be honest, and I’d rather join Lilith. But…A weird part of me didn’t want to abandon Goldie…

  My scroll rang.

  “(Y/N)!”

  “Lilith! What the…what the hell happened last night?” I answered, surprising myself with my calm tone.

  “It’s…a long story.” She sighed. “But I’m okay, alright? Don’t worry- I’m at the Owl House.”

  “I was ordered to keep an eye on the Owl House, actually. So was Goldie.” I said lamely.

  “Hmm.” Lilith pursed her lips. “Are you okay there, on your own?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know yet. I’ve barely had time to process.”

  “Well…In the meantime, I need to give a final few orders- do you think you’re in a state to hear them?”

  I nodded. “Go on…”

  “Do you think you could…be a spy? That is…unless you’re still loyal to Belos, which would make sense, really- I’m sorry to bother you, of course-”

  I whistled. “Woah, you’ve done quite the one-eighty. What happened yesterday?”

  “Like I said, it’s a long story, but…I suppose it begins when I was just a bit younger than you…”

  And she recounted the story of how she came to join the Emperor’s Coven, how she cursed her sister, and how she betrayed Belos…

*******

Author's note: I know, there isn't much action in this part. Part four has a bit more going on, but I needed a transitional chapter. *Cough* You might end up joining Goldie on more....missions, and/or discovering things best left hidden in upcoming parts.

******

Edit: Shoot, I forgot to tag you guys when I first posted this!! I'll just do it now in case you haven't found it yet- sorry!

@vievi

@generousdoodleforillustration

@harlanfalcon

@ronipiamka

If anyone else wants to be tagged for part four, let me know- hopefully this time I won't forget XD

#x reader #the owl house hunter x reader #the owl house x reader #the owl house #the golden guard #golden guard x reader #toh hunter x reader #hunter toh #toh golden guard #toh golden guard x reader

[clovariia]

thank you for all the support on my art and writing this year, everyone! here's my art summary for 2023!!! 🥳💕 happy new year!!!!!

i've rambled a bit about this year under the cut.

this was the best year ever for me on a personal level, even though my art didn't change very much. i got into south park thanks to my wonderful girlfriend that i started dating this year, and it transformed my art and writing. here's a list of some things i made this year!

i made one animatic!

the toh grimoire zine hasn't been completed yet due to some complications with paypal so i haven't been able to share my fic for it yet, but i'm so excited for it to come out!!

the amphibia tribute zine that i participated in last year came out and matt braly retweeted it, which was super awesome! here's my drawing for it!

the our duet: raeda fanzine came out! it was so thrilling to receive my first physical zine with my own writing in it. i also made merch for the first time because i contributed art for the polaroid keychain charm a few people collaborated on. avi roque also got a copy of the zine. i'm really proud of myself for this zine!!! you can see my pieces for it here.

i participated in the oops! all autistic! zine!!! you can find the amphibia fic i wrote for it here!

i'm participating in the k2 fanzine! it won't be released until 2024, but i wrote two fics for it and did a little bonus drawing for it that you might see in my art summary 👀

i'm the beta reader mod for the second huntlow zine, golden garden! i also wrote a fic for it. i'm really excited for everyone to see the work we've been putting into this project!!! i hold it so close to my heart.

besides zine stuff, i wrote fics for the huntlow hearts exchange and tweek week 2023!

since i shared my ao3 statistics last year, here are the updated ones from 2023 and overall.

these numbers aren't totally accurate because there are things i wrote this year that i haven't posted yet (shoutout to my big multichapter south park fic wip...) and things that i never finished, but they're interesting to look at anyways. although less people read my south park stuff than my toh stuff, i'm having so much fun with this show and i intend to write a ton more for it. south park gives me so much creative inspiration and i'm really glad that i got into it. thank you so much to everyone who's supported me through this transition period of my art and writing. ❤

i also wrote some goals for 2024 in my art summary post from last year. i didn't accomplish some of them, but i'm proud of myself for the stuff i did achieve. here are a few more resolutions for 2024:

write more multichapter stuff

write for a wider variety of fandoms

make at least one south park animatic

get more relaxed about my art style and stop being such a perfectionist. i want my art to get messier and cartoonier. i'm hoping to change my art style a lot, and you might be able to notice that in some of my recent drawings.

do at least one piece of colored digital art a month (i have to list this as a resolution every year so i actually do it...)

do more large and detailed pieces

experiment more with procreate (i've finally figured out how to use it, but i want to make use of more of its features and brushes)

write more consistently...i kept going weeks without writing at all in 2023 and it sucked so much. i want to do it at least a little bit every week.

participate more in the south park fandom. i'd love to join in on more fandom events like the k2 zine and tweek week.

thank you so much to everyone for supporting me again this year!!! i'm excited to see where 2024 goes!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

#my art #art summary #2023 art summary #misc

[mdhwrites]

So, what is so awful about Starlight Glimmer that you refuse to try and finish up the remainder of the final 4 seasons of MLP Friendship is Magic? You finished up Owl House despite having loads of problems with that show, why not for MLP Friendship is Magic?

So A: I did not with TOH. Literally. I still have not seen about half the finale and like a third of Thanks to Them. I have watched what I have had to for blogs but that's it. I also only even considered not watching the rest once S2B ended because at the time, I didn't want to abandon it. I didn't want to lose it. However, I was explicit after King's Tide came out: If I didn't know for a fact so little TOH existed left, I would not even be considering watching S3.

B: There is SUCH a large difference between six more episodes of a show you liked and FOUR. SEASONS. of a show you'd been fading on for two seasons.

C: Starlight was a final nail in the coffin, not the first sin. I'd literally done an entire month of blogs on fimfic for S4 (or maybe five?) where I forced myself to be a bit more positive with that season because I'd been really harsh on it when it first came out and wanted to try and reconnect but even then, I'd found the season to be mostly boring. S5 didn't do any better and continued the trend of characters not just making mistakes but being outright assholes, at least in my opinion. Like if things weren't boring, they were miserable and I didn't like either setting for the show.

But what were my issues with Starlight? Well, she was an okay villain when she first appeared who gave up way too quick and thus lost all that was interesting about her, then literally killed an entire world potentially dozens of times when having never had proper training in magic and was then hugged and accepted as a new main cast member with less of a redemption and effort than Discord and then... Then she joined and felt like one of the writer's super cool OCs and please see how much better they are than the rest.

Now these memories are OLD at this point so I can't bring up as many details as I'd like. One of the big ones was others slipping backwards just to make Starlight look better, like the dinner with Celestia thing where Starlight invites Trixie and Twilight ENTIRELY LOSES IT like it is literally four seasons ago with Lesson Zero. I also believe the episode that kind of broke me was the Hearthswarming Special because it was downright the worst version of a Christmas Carol I'd ever seen where Starlight acted like she was literally above the story itself. Hell, I'm pretty sure my response to that episode was "How do you not understand the base structure of A CHRISTMAS CAROL!?"

And again, a lot of this was genuinely just indicative to me of how I just wasn't enjoying the show anymore. I didn't like the characters, I didn't like what they were doing and it all felt stale. I was right there with a lot of the fandom by being hyped during S4 by thinking that the Harmony Box was going to lead to an entire new cast of main characters because it did feel like a shake up was needed at that point for most of them or that most in S4 were getting their dreams to prepare them for a send off and the like. And then... They didn't. Our only new cast member came in the worst of the Twilight clones of smart magic horses and the plots seemed to double down on the fact that she was in fact MUCH worse than Twilight. Not because she behaved worse but because they had to try so hard to sell her to the audience.

But I want to make it clear that I gave S6 a few episodes still. I tried to still be on its side despite having been kind of miserable throughout S5 (going to the home of the griffins is still one of the worst episodes of anything I've ever watched). I wanted to still be a fan, especially since I was still writing for it.

You know, like TOH. And like TOH, it disappointed on all fronts with wanting to continue that commitment. So yeah, I'm not returning to MLP FiM for quite literally over an entire DAY'S worth of time just to be able to comment on the Friendship School. Why the hell would I when I have SO MANY better things to do with my time?

#mlp fim #Starlight Glimmer

[nikonekosenpai]

Lumity!

#the owl house #toh #amity blight #luz noceda #lumity #amity #luz #fanart #art #digital art #cartoon #my art #Its been a few months since i finished toh #i have been wanting to draw them since i finished #finally had the motivation

[unioncolours]

One Majsasaurus Year!

Today is a very special day for me. This day marks the one-year anniversary since I uploaded the very first chapter of my very first fanfiction. It has been one year since I stepped into the Naruto/Boruto fandom as a content creator.

This post is going to be a sappy meta post about my year as a content creator and my relationship to my fanfictions, to my writing and to my fandom and friends.

Please continue reading down below 💕⬇ 

I began watching Naruto in 2019, and by summer 2019 I had seen Shikamaru’s arc in Shippuden. I was blown away by his character and I was a full shipper of ShikaTema by then. I could not wait until we got to the end of Shippuden, and began googling the next gen characters (and spoiling the end game couples at the same time) and you can only imagine my satisfaction when I found out ShikaTema became canon and they had a son.

Very soon after this I came up with my first fanfiction idea, the one that gave birth to my very first fanfiction Shadows and Sand. I believed that idea had been done before, but after vacuuming through both ff.net and ao3, and I found nothing, I decided to write it myself.

I may have written fanfictions only for a year, but prior to this I was hardcore into the original writing world. I had written two fantasy novels and five full length plays before I wrote my first fanfiction, one of which was published, so the art of writing was something I was fairly used to.

The fanfiction writers I had read and followed to this point were Big Fandom Name writers with strict schedules and lots of readers. Every time they uploaded a new chapter their audience would write comments like “Your spoiling us with these tight schedules” and so on. I really liked the idea of a consecutive schedule and decided to write the whole first fic in its entirety, so I could “spoil” my potential readers with updates.

Shadows and Sand ended up being 35 000 word long, divided into eight chapters. This was the first story in my whole life I had ever written completely in English (and it was not easy). Going back to Shadows and Sand is cringy for me, mainly for the way I expressed myself in English, thought I still think the plot is great.

Here is one of the lines from Shadows and Sand I to this day think is amazing:

“She [Mirai] looked into his eyes, but he [Shikadai] didn’t look back, because he was already staring into a nightmare where his dad was dead because of his mistakes.”

For a totally new fanfiction writer, with no “fanbase” prior to this, I would say I got quite a lot of comments (around 15 in total on the eight chapters) and I was extremely happy for that.

I uploaded the whole thing in a week and a half, satisfied and proud of the result. At the final chapter I got a comment where the commentor wrote something along the lines of “Well written angst and well written fluff”. I pondered about those statements for a long time, thinking, yes, this was actually angst, even if I in the moment of writing – then I was still unused to the tagging system and the tropes of fanfiction, didn’t categorise the fic as angst, because I thought angst could only be chopped off limbs and painful deaths. But this fic had angst as well. Tiny angst, but still. And a rather powerful feeling rose in my chest from that moment. This is what I want to do in the fandom. To write heartfelt stories that make people feel.

  One week after I uploaded the final chapter of Shadow and Sand my fingers began to itch. I wanted to write more. Wanted to explore the little grain of world building I had already created. Wanted to write more Shikadai and Inojin kissing.

And thus, To go down with the Sun was born.

I began writing Down with the Sun with only one vision – something epic and an explosion. The plot was evolving as I was writing and the result ended up being just beautiful. And I became obsessed with this story. I wrote it in racer speed, 50 000 words in 26 days (that is madness, I tell you, MADNESS!) and then the rest 30k in 20 days. I could not think of anything but this story and the Next Generation Kids I put through trials and hell. I felt true euphoria while writing this story that unfolded under my fingers like in a dream. It was a mania, and a damn strong one.

The first thing I did when I woke up was writing, the last thing I did before going to bed was writing it. I prioritised writing this story above all in my life.

At the time of uploading, the fic did not get that much recognition. I got about one comment per chapter. When I uploaded the final chapter, I got two comments on that one, which was a tiny bummer, since I had hoped for more. It was a lonely, but lovely job to write Down with the Sun, mostly with my own thoughts as company, since the readers were rather quiet with feedback.

But I loved the few comments I got and I still got kicks from just the single act of uploading a new chapter. Because in the end, I wrote for myself and even more for the characters and plot. Finishing the story was the greatest motivator.

I uploaded the final chapter of To go down with the Sun December 7th, 2019.  And I still to this day love the story I created, even if I know that I’d definitely re-write some elements from the story if I’d write it again. But I still love it.

   After To go down with the Sun I wrote the fic that I hold the least emotional value to, Earning a weasel’s trust. The story is cute and short (11 000 words). It was a nice little project focusing on Temari’s motherhood to Shikadai that I wrote in a week. It got close to no feedback or attention, but it didn’t make me sad, because I needed to write and share that story and then move on with my life. I am though happy I wrote it.

At this time in my creative process I had been really lonely. It had been me with my own head and the characters. I had no beta reader and no one to bounce off ideas or anything. I had no fandom friends. I am still amazed I had written around 130k words without almost any support whatsoever in the span of four months.

This all changed in late December 2019. I found a Discord Server that I basically begged to get to be part of, and it really changed my fandom experience. Prior to this, my fandom experience had been lonely, and I just produced and consumed content. There was no interaction between anyone, except me replying to commentors.

And now, I found friends. I found people who loved the same pairing and show as I, and it felt almost life changing. This was the time when fandom really felt like… a hobby. A home. Before, it was a creative outlet, now it became a community.

I thrived.

The mod of this server @loknnica, hosted during this time a writing contest, which I eagerly wanted to take part of. I wrote my contest fic, Branded by Love, during January 2020, in which I made Shikamaru betray Konoha for Suna and Temari, and their son Shikadai became the One Tail jinchuuriki. The fic was 10k words long, and OUCH, the backstory I came up with. As soon as BbL was finished I decided that I wanted to write a long version of this canon divergence-world I had created.

In February 2020 I began writing Trial of the Heart, the epic version of Branded by Love. And damn, damn, damn what an epic story was born out of my fingers and brain. I love ToH, I loved what it turned out to be, a heart-wrenching and sad story of Shikamaru, Temari and Shikadai in a world of war.

While writing ToH the writing contest was ending and to my big, big delight, I WON! Branded by Love and I won the contest! This was precisely the boost I needed to really feel validated in my rather specific writing style and choice of plots.

I wrote ToH almost non-stop for four months, and in the beginning of June, the 28th chapter was uploaded. Trial of the Heart ended up being 123 000 words long. In four months, a whole damn NOVEL was created from my keyboard.

The pride, guys. The pride and joy I felt was like a drug injection.

Finishing off works is the greatest, greatest dose of motivation and pride. To write, write, write and finish. And let go of your work, to upload it with a great smile on your face.

During the spring and summer of 2019 three very important friends entered my life.

Vee (@veeganburger on twitter),

Becks (@notquitejiraiya on twitter)

Spooky (@spookymoth on twitter).

These three wonderful ladies really made me feel valid as a writer, and made me love my own work as well. During the spring To go down with the Sun had gained quite a lot of attraction, and the kudos and comments came. All the loneliness I had felt during the autumn was replaced by joy and love of sharing my works. These women have shared their thoughts of my work (and art) to me and I have also in privacy felt secure to talk with these women about nothing and all at once. They never fail to cheer me up.

I love you.

I had also gained the nickname “Shikadai’s tormentor” after multiple times forced that poor boy into horrible situations in my works. The user @shikanaradai’s nickname is Shikadai’s protector and we have an ongoing joke about being archenemies because of this. Ah. The fandom bubble was and is so lovely when you can experience inside jokes with friends. They became my friends, and I gained so much from this.

ANYHOW.

During Trial of the Heart I wrote a friendship between Shikadai and Inojin and I realised I missed writing them as a couple, like I had done in To go down with the Sun. With the support of Vee, who was really, really excited for a new fic where those two boys are a couple, I decided to write a sequel to To go down with the Sun, which I named To dance above the Stars.

In the wait before I began writing that one, I wrote two one shots, 48 hours to live – a next gen focused fic based on a manga chapter from the Boruto manga, and a pure Shikadai x Inojin one shot, I found love in the eyes of a boy, because at that time I knew already I had dug my own grave with that pairing.

I began writing To dance above the Stars in June 2020 and uploaded the first chapter at the end of the same month.

Simultaneously as I wrote Above the Stars I also wrote/edited three fics, one of them called The End, for an application to become a writer to the ShikaTema zine Everything I never knew I wanted. The results of the application came in the middle of July, when I had written a good chunk of Above the Stars.

I WAS ACCEPTED!

I am now officially one of the five writers for that zine!

To dance above the Stars got better recognition that I ever imagined. I was terrified that no one would want to read it, because it was a sequel and had very niched themes. A rare gay next gen pairing in focus and a story with extremely heavy emotional themes. I was so unsure anyone would want to read. The same feeling of loneliness that I had experienced during To go down with the Sun came back a little bit. That it in the end would be only me and my text.

How wrong I was.

To dance above the Stars got wonderful feedback, and more kudos than for example Trial of the Heart got. I received wonderful comments, and even fanart! I was so extremely happy and felt a new powerful emotion. It almost felt like my fic had its own little world in the world of fics, if that makes sense? Like a miniature fandom. During the late summer To go down with the Sun got translated into Russian by a wonderful reader of mine, enabling my texts to a wider audience, which I am extremely honoured by.

As I write this, it is September 2020. One year ago, I was writing Shadows and Sand and struggling through stringing English sentences together and that was also when “my” version of Shikadai was born. One year ago, I was writing what I to this day think is the best fighting scene I have ever written – and I write a lot of fight scenes. One year ago I was listening to “I just want to be brave” from the movie Lion King to get into Shikadai vibes and the mistake he did in that fic, a song I revisit for this reason time and time again.

I remember naively thinking that I will finish Shadows and Sand and then maybe write something else as well. Little did I then, in September 2019 know, that I would one year later have written closer to 400k words of fics, centred around Team 10 or around the Nara family. One year, almost four hundred thousand words.

Now, one year later I had won a writing contest, written three full length NOVELS as fics, been accepted to a wonderful zine, and found lovely, lovely friends. I even got crowned as a “Queen” for the Shikadai x Inojin ship, Shikajin as it is called, since I am one of the like three people who write for that ship, and have to this date written around 180k words for them. Which is a lot, haha!

I feel like I have conquered a tiny corner of the great fandom sandbox, and let me tell you, I thrive in my own corner. I might have few followers on twitter compared to many other creators, but I still want to provide content for those who want to see it. I might write rather niche works, but they filled a space where no fics were, and enriched the fandom in their own ways, even if I haven’t gotten tens of comments on each chapter. I have gotten around four comments each chapter, but it felt like okay.

I might not mod great zines like many of my friends do, something that did for a few months bring great stress into my fandom life. Am I a second-hand fandom member because I don’t want to moderate a zine, was something I often thought about. Am I lesser worth because I don’t do these amazing projects? No, I am not. And I feel very satisfied by just following my friends’ journeys and look at beautiful twitter accounts for zines.

I want to put my energy on writing intriguing plots and difficult fight scenes. Every fandom experience is valid.

In my heart I know my fics and content are good. Maybe not as good as native English writer’s content, but they’ve got a heart and soul on their own, and I really feel like I do have a Majsasaurus genre, trope or theme going on in my fics. And to be honest, I love it, and I accept that other people might not love it as much, or not at all. But it doesn’t matter. What I think of my own content matter.

  If any of you, who read this, have commented even once on one of my fics, thank you.

If any of you have ever interacted with me on twitter through comments, thanks you.

If any of you have pressed the follow button on either twitter or tumblr for me, thank you.

If any of you have left kudos to me, thank you.

If any of you have read my stuff but don’t want to comment because of different reasons, or if you feel shy to reach out, thank you for reading and I appreciate you as well.

 That was one hell of a Majsasaurus Year. Here’s to the next year. Cheers!

Thank you, all of you. You make my fandom experience complete.

 -        Majsasaurus Bex

#shikadai fanfiction #shikamaru fanfiction #majsasaurus #meta discussion #fic writing #i love you guys #all of you #thank you for reading and for everything

[salmankhanholics]

★ Barbaad ho rahe hai hum log”: Single-screen exhibitors DISAPPOINTED & ANGRY with Disney+ Hotstar’s 7 films announcement : Bollywood News!

June 30, 2020

Since more than a month, there have been speculations that Disney+ Hotstar, one of the biggest streaming platforms, has acquired more than a half-a-dozen films for a direct OTT release due to the Coronavirus-induced lockdown. Today, on June 29, the suspense was finally unveiled and it came to light that as many as 7 films will skip theatrical release and arrive straightaway on the internet. These films are Akshay Kumar’s horror comedy Laxmmi Bomb, Ajay Devgn’s war saga Bhuj – The Pride Of India, Sushant Singh Rajput’s last film Dil Bechara, Mahesh Bhatt’s directorial comeback Sadak 2, Abhishek Bachchan’s stock market drama The Big Bull, Kunal Kemmu’s comic caper Lootcase and Vidyut Jammwal’s action love story Khuda Hafiz.

As expected, the exhibitors are disappointed with this historic announcement. Already, they have been suffering since cinemas are shut since more than 3 months. And with the lockdown getting extended in most major states to July-end, they are all set to suffer more. In such a scenario, to see 7 films going straight to OTT, including few star-studded ventures which could have drawn audiences to cinemas in big numbers, have not just saddened them but also infuriated the exhibitors. While the representatives of multiplex chains were unavailable, the single-screen exhibitors have openly made their displeasure clear.

Akshaye Rathi, film exhibitor and distributor, says, “We all saw it coming since 1 ½ months. Hence, we were all prepared to see this happening. As an exhibitor, I’d say that it’s a bit disappointing because some of these films could have actually played a role in resurrecting the very medium that made them such big stars.” A very angry Vishek Chauhan, owner of Roopbani Cinema in Bihar, angrily tells, “I think Bollywood has jumped the gun and have pressed the panic button too early. This will have a very bad long-term impact on the Hindi film industry.” Raj Bansal, the owner of Entertainment Paradise theatre in Jaipur states, “I am not very happy with this announcement. They should have waited for some more time, at least two more months. I understand that they have invested heavily in these films and they must have had their reasons. But in this time of crisis, we should support each other.”

Vishek Chauhan makes it clear that “Bollywood is in danger, theatres are not” and also adds, “People feel that right now that the theatres will suffer if Hindi films will arrive on TV or OTT. Hollywood started this trend of releasing films on streaming platforms in the lockdown and the first film to do so was Trolls World Tour. But that film could be accessed through PVOD (Premium Video-On-Demand) and not SVOD (Subscription Video-On-Demand). So you have to pay $19.99 to buy the film and then you get to watch it. In our case, the accessibility is so easy for these new films that you’re films would be counted in the same breath as Aarya and Chaman Bahaar. Look at Gulabo Sitabo – it came and it went in no time. My point is that, what makes actors stars is when people take the trouble of heading to a cinema hall, standing in a queue and then watching them perform on the big screen. So if Akshay Kumar’s film will be accessible online without any effort at home, Akshay Kumar is then no longer that star! He and Ajay Devgn just killed their own stardom. Disney has kept its Hollywood film, Black Widow, ready. Even James Bond’s No Time To Die is ready for release. But these films are being held for theatrical release. Toh fir yeh log kyun apni film online release kar rahe hai?”

The thoughts of Sandeep Jain, an exhibitor from Indore and Bhopal, are in sync. He states, “What they are doing is wrong. They are trying to destroy the medium that made them such big stars. Has there been any star from OTT? Alia Bhatt became a craze because she debuted in Student Of The Year, which released in cinemas. Same goes for other actors.”

Vishek Chauhan further adds, “Suriya is not giving his away film to the internet. Vijay hasn’t given his finished film Master to an OTT platform. Same goes for Dhanush, Chiyaan Vikram and Mahesh Babu. They have all declined the offer from OTT because they know where their stardom comes from. And look at our Bollywood actors. They are killing their stardom which they painstakingly cultivated over the years. They are forgetting that stardom jaane mein time nahi lagta hai.”

Other exhibitors too agree that they’ll now give preference to films of other languages. Akshaye Rathi opines, “Theatres have survived a hundred years and will survive long enough. The only thing that might change is the content that reaches the theatrical medium. If you see, in every other industry, from Southern to Hollywood, all the tent pole films have been held back for theatrical. So if these Hindi films don’t release, there will be enough Hollywood and Southern films in dubbed Hindi versions and also regional films that will take that space and keep bringing people to cinemas so that they keep getting their share of entertainment.” Manoj Desai, executive director of G7 multiplex in Mumbai, popularly known as Gaiety-Galaxy cinema complex, agrees as he says, “We’ll now give preference to South films which are dubbed in Hindi. Also, we’ll show dubbed Hollywood flicks. And I am sure audiences will come to these films as these films have lot of entertainment. The action in Hollywood films is amazing. As for South films, their action too is a visual delight. Also, their songs make for a great watch.”

Vishek Chauhan also argues that OTT won’t give these films the desired and the deserved viewership. He says, “Uday Shankar (The Walt Disney Company [Asia Pacific] and Chairman, Star & Disney India) is claiming that there are 50 crore smartphones in India and hence the reach is tremendous for these 7 films. If that’s the case, then why does your platform have just 80 lakhs subscribers? At least, Akshay Kumar’s films in cinemas gets footfalls of 2 or 2.5 crore. Your subscriber base is less than half of that. Bollywood has to decide for whom they are making the film. If they give films on the internet, then Bollywood will become an OTT industry.”

Thankfully, not all is lost. There are still many big Bollywood films which will come directly to theatres. Akshaye Rathi exults, “There are quite a few Hindi films as well like Sooryavanshi, ’83, Coolie No 1, Radhe etc which will make it to cinemas.” Raj Bansal in agreement says, “Those who will hold their films will get more benefit. It’s a matter of time.”

However, the other industries are already all set to take advantage. Vishek Chauhan reveals, “The day Disney+ Hotstar announced and hinted about releasing 7 films on OTT, Warner Bros sent a mail to all the exhibitors in the country that their Hollywood films Tenet and Wonder Woman 1984 releasing only in theatres. Universal Pictures also regularly tells us that they are releasing No Time To Die only in theatres. The idea behind these messages is that if Bollywood steps aside, then Hollywood will have a free run in cinemas of India. Similarly, down South, producers have asked us to let their films release simultaneously in North and Western belt.”

As of now, exhibitors are suffering immensely and the Disney+ Hotstar announcement has added to their woes. Manoj Desai rues, “Barbaad ho rahe hai hum log aur digital platforms aabaad ho rahe hai. Aaj Maharashtra meinJuly 31 tak lockdown extend ho gaya lekin Uddhav Thackeray ji ne theatres ke baare mein ek lafz nahi bola hai.”

Sandeep Jain has the last word and he is confident that once the lockdown is lifted, exhibitors will benefit. “Once things get back to normal, viewers will forget OTT and will come to cinemas. Even when VCR technology had arrived, we had faced some problems. Right now, with theatres shut, these platforms are getting so much importance. But later on, audiences will flock to theatres just like old times.”

#salman khan #ott #disney

[loi-et-love]

SZ: hi.

first thing first..... T H A N K S ....for so many things... talking to me, being nice to me (even when i was pain in the ass) .... being frank and open..... talking whatever came to your mind (well that you do with everyone) ..... answering to some long emails... with equally wrong emails....

you know i had drafted a mail earlier but had to delete it ... thought might as well write something new and fresh..... and this is what you have done to me ..... When i have free time .... i think "let me write to aditi" ..... sometimes..... i even wake up in the middle of my sleep to check...... if there is any message from you.... but unfortunately only calls or messages i get then at that time are from GC .... some how he just knows when i am busy.... or sleeping in office hours and he will call me..... the joke i tell my mom is "if i want GC to call me ..... i should sleep" and hola ...tring tring ....

initially when we started talking...... i did want to know why is she talking so much to me .... but then i let go of it ..... realized later you are talkative.....

i dont talk to many people..... and i dont remember when i had written 100 odd emails .... to someone ...... i guess there have been days when we have completed more than 50 odd emails in a single day.... like today we are already near 42......

two reasons i dont talk to many people in office is 1) my last name: they have pre concieved notion about me and feel uncomfortable talking to me ...... and i dont like when people are uncomfortable .... and they do make it previous obvious

2) whatever little interaction i have had with some ..... i just dont connect... i dont feel the need to ... or in simpler words..... i dont find anyone else interesting enough

yes i like you,.... want to know you..... but i want to know you at your pace and your convenience .... i am not in a hurry..... but then its like you kind of sweet like an ice cream..... and i get worried... what if it just melts away .... so i want to know things about you......

all those questions hanky panky and all is just to get you open up..... as i always say.... i was also 24 for one full year..... and i know things that happen.... i am no saint either.... and i had a car since i was 16..... so had my share of back seat action too....

sometimes...... its obvious that i am the distraction .... that keeps you away from ex......... sometimes.... its just that ... you have too much stored in yourself ...... and you dont have the channel to release it all..... so you just treat me like an "agony uncle" or lets say punching bag.... i am ok with that.....

And you are currently occupying lot of my mental space..... whether is sleeping or awake ....

like today i didnt need to send the photo which i sent in morning ...... or didnt need to think about you when i saw rainbow ..... didnt need to go for walk ..... i went yesterday also .... the reason : well yesterday i knew you would be busy from 6-7 while driving to go home and today i knew you would be sleeping while i was awake so i thought might as well go for a walk

talking sarcastically or flirting or being funny is natural to me and so is the serious attitude.... seen a lot of things in life....

you dont like flirting we can always stop.... it will be difficult but i can stop.... no more checking out .... btw its not the ass which i check out first in a lady....... its something else

chalo will send across this email when you are back from lunch..... and done with your work

ohhhh last thing ..... you are B E A U T I F U L ....enjoy have a nice day .

I: God!! nobody is ever going to let me read this email with full concentration. *angry face*

Will you stop thanking me?? I didn't do anything FOR you. i'm selfish that way. So stop!! I did everything because I wanted to. I didn't do any favors for you. I talk to you because i like talking to you. I'm nice to you because you have been nice to me (no indecency). I'm frank and open... Well, that's just who I am. I speak my mind. And I respond to your long emails because I love talking to you and I love long emails. Long emails signify how much willing you are to talk to me. It shows your effort, that you are ready to type so much because you so much to say.

Maybe you can send me that email you deleted. I would want to read everything you type to send me because that's what you wanted to say to me.

I know how you feel. you have done the same thing to me too. I was late for lunch and made Kaalu and H sir wait becasue I wanted to finish writing an email to you.

It's true that I am talkative but I don't talk soooooo much with everybody. I'm friendly with everyone but not everybody is my friend. So, I talked so much with you because I chose to and not because I have a compulsive need of talking.

And BTW you spoke to me first. I had my seat changed and you had asked me something. I think you had asked me what I do here, etc. and then why my place was changed. I remember it was dark and there was nobody in the office except you and me and you were filling your water bottle and laughed (that cute laugh I love) when I told you that because French Translator and I talk a lot they changed my place. (I know it was silly of me. I didn't even care that you're a C (last name) and I shouldn't have and I should've maintain a decorum with you)

"i dont talk to many people" Tha'ts what Kaalu said, you don't talk to too many people. And if you talk, nobody hears your voice. So, it's more or less like you don't talk at all.

And those days are the best days where we write over 50 emails to each other.

I know why you wouldn't talk to people here in OIA. I saw and felt how lonely you are. and then you talked to me one day and I felt "god! ye accha baat karta hai. Decency toh baapre.. chalakti hai!! Has a nice soothing, amazing voice. English mast hai." And then Idk how and when I started talking to you. I don't remember. All I know is that I must've blabbered a lot for no reason, forcing you to be in the conversation. Do you remember how I started talking to you so much after you spoke to me once? (answer me) I actually you spoke to me twice. once ws in the elevator when we were going down. I think we started talking about cars and books when we would leave. And then you would advise me like an uncle to drive safe and use this direction than the one I use. Ufff... how annoying I found you then!! Treating me like I'm 10!

So, as i was saying i thought u r introvert n shy n lonely n dont have many friends here. but i was happy to see you chitchatting with anand sir then.. Sometime in february i think. I was relieved..

I don't understand what preconceived notions they would have about you.

People know you're C because you speak THEIR language. (That's how I found out). I would always see you talk with Kapil. And I wud make a face like why does this man have to talk to him (Atul), bichara.. paka raha hoga Atul ko! But then i found out u r a Chaturvedi and I slapped my forehead. Like whyyyyyyy............... But then your last name never felt like a hindrance for me. You last name never bothered me. Is that strange for you? (answer me)

So, you know how I feel about you not being here right now? So, you know how I feel about you leaving? There is nobody interesting in this office. There's nobody who reach my standards and actually hold a conversation with me. You have no idea how ecsatic I was to talk to you everytime!! I would wait for NL to leave so that I could talk to you. But you would shoo me away like a dog.. :( That did hurt me when you continued to do it for a few days but I didn't say anything because i know you didn't mean it

You have to ask questions to know me. Don't ask me questions about what hanky panky I have done. I won't answer that. i don't kiss and tell. I told you about Aditya. I told you I have daddy issues. You figured out I have trust issues. It takes time to get to know people. And it's more fun when you get to know them as the time passes by. Fast-fast karne me koi mazaa nahi hai. I have been very fast in my life and i've realized this now and i always prefer to go slow.

I want to get to know you too. You conceal so much behind this fluffy (hehehe) exterior. But it takes time.

You are not the distraction. Dude. I have many distractions. Do you think you are the only person in the office I flirt with? Think again! Yeah, it's true that you are the only person I actually enjoy flirting with!! ('im not buttering you up here)

Nobody can keep me away from BB. BB and I... We have the strangest chemistry. We wouldn't talk to each other for months (which felt like years) and we'd gravitate back to each other. It's just how it is. Nobody can stop what's happening between me and him. and you're not a distraction. I don't use humans anymore. not that person anymore.

This is true "you have too much stored in yourself ...... and you dont have the channel to release it all" But you aren't my agony uncle or punching bag. I have just been awfully mad at you, once !! Just once!!.

You are just completely different for me. You hold the weirdest place in my life. Never anticipated to go this far. I didn't know you'd give me your number and i would chat with you like its the end of the world!!

And you are currently occupying lot of my mental space..... whether is sleeping or awake .... --> i don't want to ruin the moment, but i do do this to alot of people. What you said in another email that i have made your boring life here in OIA, interesting and now you look forward to it. There was this intern (also Adi, he's a southernese) he too said the same thing. He wasn't somebody who would talk a lot but with me, we would talk for 9 hours straight for 2-3 weeks! He didnt have any work and nor did I. and he still cannot believe it. Yeah, so i do have an effect on people. (I won't say i dont enjoy it. i jsut hope it turns out to be a good experience for them)

If you thought about me when you saw the rainbow, then i think of you everytime i see XUV on the street. I wait for you to text me on whatsapp. I come to work and I check my email first for any email from you.

Today when i came to work, i really thought that you're lying n u have come back n you'll come to work today.

" it will be difficult but i can stop" --> really? it'll be difficult???

What's the first thing you check out in a girl? and what's the first thing u checked out in me?

"ohhhh last thing ..... you are B E A U TI FUL ....enjoy have a nice day ." --> i have to hug you for this. There's a way of saying things. it also matters who is saying to you.

I'm too disturbed after wat NL said yesterday. I jsut want to go to him anymore.. i'm not Veena or Marina. Nor do I behave that way (although i did speak things with you, i hit on you, that's different. but really, i didn't do it with NL)

"ohhhh last thing ..... you are B E A U TI FUL ....enjoy have a nice day ." --> you made my day. (you too have an effect on me, okay. you just don't realize it, although I say it out loud so many times) this made me smile shyly. main sharmati nahi hu.. thank you :*

#personal #SZ #AC #love office affair