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#James Bucky Barnes x you
cosmos-coma · 2 months
Text
My Sun, My Star
A/N: I'm so weak for Winter soldier Bucky. I cant wait to write more of him, I love this sad guilt ridden man.
Pairing: Winter Soldier!Bucky x Reader
Words: 6756
Warnings: Breaking and entering, Minor violence, Injury and Blood, Winter soldier Bucky, GN reader but also Pregnant reader, mild language, I'm not sure if this is fluff or angst or both??
Summary: You wait up late for your boyfriend Bucky to return from his mission, but it isn't Bucky who finds you.
Part 2 | Part 3 | Epilogue | Bucky Masterlist
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Your eyes blinked slowly, heavier with each passing second, yet you still managed to open them once again. Glancing at the bright white numbers of the digital clock you watched it change to 1:46 AM, causing a groan to pull from your lips. Bucky was supposed to be back tonight (yesterday technically) from his latest mission, but he still had yet to show up at your shared flat. 
You checked your phone again, the lack of notifications mocking your tired eyes. You let out one more sigh before you turned off the mindless babbling of the TV and stood up to get ready for bed. You were sure Bucky wouldn’t want you waiting up so late in your current condition anyway, he had been harping you about getting enough sleep and water and everything in between.
“I’m only four months pregnant, Bucky. I’m fully capable of staying up late” You had said to him. 
“Five months, Doll, and it’s about your cortisol levels. It’s not good for you or the baby, and it could lead to them being underweight” he said, reciting exactly what the doctor had told him during your last checkup. 
“Four and a half,” you argued as you stuck your tongue out at him, “and she was talking about getting chased by a bear kind of stress, not staying up to watch Bake Off.” 
You snorted at the memory of just earlier that week, a small smile coming to your face as you went through your nightly routine. You continued to check your phone here and there as you went, “Did you get back safe? How’d your mission go?” you had texted two hours ago, yet it still remained unread and unanswered.  
‘Maybe one more quick text wouldn’t hurt,’  you thought to yourself as you typed out the simple message and hit send. 
“Stay safe, okay? I love you.”
You sighed as you set the phone down, “it’s okay, everything is okay,” you assured yourself as you pulled one of his large hoodies over your head, enjoying the way the hem brushed against your bare thighs and the sleeves threatened to swallow your hands. “He’s a former assassin and a super soldier! Nothing is going to happen that he can’t handle,” You stated firmly to your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes remained unsure despite your voice’s conviction, but you did your best to ignore it, focusing instead on the achingly tired look they held. 
“Yes, I know. It’s finally time for bed, little one,” you mumbled sleepily as you felt your baby kick against the walls of your protruding belly, being quick to climb between the layers of blankets and lonesome sheets. “Fuck, that's cold…!” you swore quietly as your bare legs hit the icy fabric- having gone unwarmed by your personal space heater and super soldier.
Thankfully sleep came easily, the thought of waking up to Bucky’s sleepy, scruffy face only further urged your body to wind down so the moment would come sooner. 
----
Bucky’s phone buzzed again in his bag, lighting up with your smiling face as your text displayed on the screen, but nobody reached down to check it, as everyone found themselves in a far more urgent situation. 
“Keep him busy, Rodgers! I just need one more minute!” Tony yelled as he dug through the equipment in the quinjet, “For fuck’s sake, who organized this last?” 
“What do you think I’m doing…!” The blond grunted with a justified hint of frustration,” Sam? Any help??” He shouted with a pointed look, telling more than asking as he struggled to restrain his thrashing friend. A swift metal fist flew toward his already battered face, barely giving him time to duck out of the way and attempt to restrain it again. 
“Honestly? Seems like you’ve got this one,” Sam said, holding up his hands.
“SAM.” 
“I’m coming..! God, can’t either of you old men take a joke?”
No one knew exactly what happened, Bucky had gone off on his own in the Hydra base they were exploring. It was supposed to have been recently abandoned, something about the agents leaving in an urgent rush that left files upon files sitting out in the open. It was supposed to be a simple mission; everyone goes off in teams, gathers what they can, and makes sure there are no surprises. But Bucky assured them that he would be fine to go on his own, he hadn’t had a sign of relapse in over a year, and he would only be picking up what looked important. A simple job.
He should’ve listened. 
It was when he didn’t return to the jet with the rest of them that they started to get worried. 
“So, where’s the Manchurian candidate?” Tony jested, looking at his watch. They were supposed to leave maybe 10 minutes ago, not terribly late by any means, but enough to start getting worried about Bucky’s quietness over the coms.  
“Man, come on.. ” Sam sighed at Tony’s joke as he crossed his arms. 
“Bucky?” Steve tried calling over the coms, ignoring both of his teammates, but the line remained all too quiet. 
They found him finally in the basement level of the office building, old discarded computers lining the walls along with cabinets upon cabinets of old files and other equipment. He hadn’t even realized it was a trap until he stepped right into it, triggering a switch that had the computers and hidden speakers flashing images and sounds that assaulted his senses with fragmented memories long forgotten. 
He should have listened. 
Sam had found him first, on his knees in the middle of the floor with hands desperately covering his ears, trying to block out the incessant noise. Hauling his teammate to his feet, he rushed back to the jet, calling everyone off from their search before anything else could be sprung. 
At first, they thought he might be fine- quiet, but fine. He had given them a small smile and a wave of his hand as everyone tried to check in with him, taking a seat as the jet took off to go home. It had all seemed relatively normal until they were halfway back and the unseen battle inside him must have taken a turn. 
“Got it!” Tony yelled as he pulled out the dart gun, aiming quickly as he fired two shots into Bucky’s chest, readying a third as he waited and watched for the tranquilizers to finally take effect. It was slow as Bucky continued to struggle against the drug’s drain, his body and mind turning into slow-moving molasses. Low grunts emanated from his throat as the last of his strength ebbed away, leaving nothing but forced sleep in its wake. 
“Was two really necessary?” Steve asked as his shoulders finally relaxed, the strain and worry now temporarily over. 
Together they dragged the drugged-up assassin into the jet’s small quarantine area for the remainder of the trip, satisfied only when they heard the mechanical locks slide into place. It wasn’t much, and they knew that and if he really wanted to there would be no stopping him from getting out, but it was something- enough to give them a few seconds of preparation if nothing else.  
“I’m not giving a super soldier only a single dose, you two metabolize things like this way too fast and I’m not taking any chances with the Tin man over there.”
Bucky- no, the Winter Soldier, seemed to still be out of it when they finally landed, sat up and leaning against the wall, head slumped forward just as they had left him. 
“Alright, let's just get him into one of the holding rooms for the night. We’ll work on resetting him-” Tony lifted his hands as the two men glared in his direction, “- on ‘fixing him up’ as soon as he’s been secured.” 
Sam shook his head as Tony corrected himself, taking notice of the lit-up phone in Bucky’s bag, buzzing with an only recently delivered message. Sam had quickly become one of your closest friends after you were introduced to the team. He was one of the few people Bucky trusted with his life and between his sarcastic jokes, his incredibly loyal nature, and his willingness to give Bucky shit whenever he deserved it, you knew very quickly how great a friend he would be. 
But now his stomach twisted as he saw your name flash across the screen, the alert quickly minimizing itself as it joined the other messages you had sent that night. How was he gonna break this to you? The last thing you needed was a bunch of unnecessary stress on your shoulders, but it’s obvious you were beginning to worry over their late return. Sliding the phone back into its rightful place Sam told himself that he’d call you once they had things more figured out.
“Heart rate still seems to be resting. With any luck, he’ll remain knocked out until we get inside,” Tony relayed as he monitored the Soldier’s vitals and pressed the button to open the heavy quarantine doors.
The doors slid into their resting positions with a soft click. 
As soon as that click landed on sensitive ears, vibrant blue eyes shot open. Sparing not even a second, the Winter Soldier surged forward from his seat, not nearly as far gone as he left them to believe. With the element of surprise, the Soldier easily knocked past his teammates, throwing his body weight against them and knocking Sam and Steve off balance, leaving him a good headstart as he dashed out the jet’s open door.
“Fuck, Bucky- Wait!,” Steve swore as he stumbled out behind him, having to use his super soldier speed just to keep pace. But between the settled darkness of the night, and the winding alleyways the brunette stuck to, Steve was left falling behind in no time. “Shit,” Steve swore as he slowed to a stop, looking around for any sign of his compromised friend. 
However, the streets lay barren, the fluttering of moths in the streetlights the only sign of life on the entire block.
---
The heavy thud of his boots echoed against the alleyway’s pavement. He wasn't sure where exactly he was headed as his silhouette slunk between the warm light of the streetlamps, but part of him- a currently repressed part of him- knew that safety was bound to be just ahead. 
His heart beat smoothly as he kept his pace, every other step falling in time as he rounded the corner. Blindly, he let himself be led by instinct and his feet maneuvered the city’s countless paths with a mind of their own. They slowed before a little apartment building and as those emotionless eyes looked up, he knew this was it.
The lateness of the hour had almost assured that no one was around as he slipped inside, footsteps padding up the stairs before stopping at the third floor. His heavy boots left nothing but wet prints in their wake as he wandered down the hall, impossibly silent, as even the notoriously creaky boards dared not announce his presence. 
The closer he got, the more the back of his mind itched, as if something- someone- was begging him not to go any further, but he refused to listen; he knew this was where he was meant to be and where he would find what his body was so inexplicably drawn to.
With each step his head turned on a swivel, looking for the sense of safety and familiarity that the other half of him seemed to find here- and desperately wished he wouldn’t discover. Just as his foot was about to take another step he stopped. ‘No. Here.’ His gut told him, turning to the door. 
His door.
Your door.
The former assassin bypassed the lock with ease, quickly slipping in before shutting the door behind him. A dim light illuminated the living room, the little lamp you left on for him casting its orange glow over his surroundings as he surveyed them.
A few mugs stand beside the sink, framed photos dot the wall and side tables, and a veritable nest of blankets lay across the couch. It was obvious someone had been here, and recently. A deep breath pulled into his lungs, causing his head to tilt to the side in contemplation as an unfamiliar scent hit his nose, something just as earthy as it was sweet and speckled with distant notes of… him?
“Hmmph”  
His sensitive ears picked up the soft grunt from down the hall immediately. His shoulders squared and tensed as his body leaned into a defensive position. Cautious fingers pulled the knife from his boot, ready for whatever may come at him as he approached. 
The sounds of soft breaths lead him to a door left ajar. Light just slipped past the curtains into the darkened room. Badum… Badum… Badum… a heartbeat pulsed in his ears as he took a step closer, leaving the door open and letting further light fall onto the source of the noise. 
His wolfish gaze ran down your form as you lay there on your back, swallowed in the extra fabric of the old sweatshirt. Your hand rested casually over your stomach as your other one squished gently against your cheek. Your legs lay bare to the world after having kicked the overbearing sheets away, leaving just a glance of your underwear for him to take in.  
“Mmph” You grunted again as you shifted, your face now turned to him as that earthy scent of yours gripped him like a vice and refused to let go.
Your sweet sleep became interrupted though- much to his dismay- as the phone on your nightstand began to light up and buzz incessantly. Still, as a statue he watched as you groaned, propping yourself up on your elbows as you went to check what your device could possibly want at this ungodly hour. 
With one loose fist, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes away, blinking consciousness back into them until you saw Bucky’s illuminated figure before you, standing tall and quiet as he watched you intently. 
“Bucky..?” You couldn’t hide the grin that spread across your face as you saw the familiar face of your lover lit up by the bright light of your phone screen. But the longer you looked the more you noticed.
His eyes were all wrong, his gaze was devoid, that’s the only way you could put it. Devoid of meaning and humanity, it seemed every gaze- every movement- was a means to an end. Empty… save for a flicker of fear; It was probably the only thing in those eyes right now that registered as human. The fear of someone who was lost, unknowing of their purpose, and confused as to why your gaze was made his cold heart falter.
His expression was flat and stoic, save for the knit of confusion that pulled his brows together. His stance was tense and prepared, the discrete knife still glittering in his hands as he took another step forward, his head slowly shaking in response to your question. 
A gasp caught in your throat as you finally understood. Glancing at your phone you saw it was Sam who was calling, undoubtedly trying to tell you what you now already knew.
“Soldat…” You whispered, trying to hide the way his name sent shivers across your skin. Your phone went black then, as you didn’t pick up in time and you were left blind by the sudden darkness.
 You and Bucky had talked about what to do if you found him like this, “You call Sam and Steve, Okay? You find a place to hide and you stay far away, no matter what you hear. There’s no reasoning with him,” He had told you.
So much for that
Your phone lit up again with Sam’s urgent call, its revealing light sending ice down your spine as you saw the man nearly standing over you now, just a hair’s breadth away.
Your hand rose slowly, shaking as you tested a reach for your phone, stopping dead in your tracks as he let out a disapproving grunt. Your head nodded slowly as you gulped, returning your hand to your stomach as you watched his gaze finally shift away. 
With unbothered calmness, he looked toward your phone to see Sam’s face and name scrawled across your screen. Wordlessly he reached over and pressed the ‘decline call’ button, cutting the call short and leaving you two in perfect silence once more. 
Panic began to rise in your throat as his gaze turned back toward you, darkened now only by the lack of light. With slow movements the Winter Soldier reached out, putting the knife away as he crouched down, as if trying to attract a skittish animal. 
Your whole body tensed as his reach came closer, eyes screwing shut as you waited for the worst, “Please… Just don’t hurt her…” You whispered, fear and desperation rattling your voice, just as it did your anxiety-filled body. 
But the pain never came. Instead, the cool touch of metal fingers ran down your cheek, barely denting your flesh as he relished in its softness. Your eyes peeked open cautiously, as his fingers moved along the slope of your jaw, tilting your head up as he came to your chin. 
His eyes had changed, you noticed, instead of being a harsh blizzard, they had now settled into something more human, something warmer and… yearning? 
“Soldat..?” You questioned as you watched his lips part, his senses focused only on the way your body reacted to his touch. You were sure he could hear the rapid pattering of your heart beneath your ribs, its pace only increasing as his fingers moved down your neck and to the exposed collarbone in your loose neckline.
“Красивый [Beautiful]...,” was all he could reply. It came out so soft you weren’t sure you heard it at first, it’s quiet reverence meant for your ears and your ears only. “Из-за тебя он чувствует себя здесь в безопасности...? Замки дерьмовые, видимость слишком высокая, но ты… [Are you why he feels safe here…? The locks are shit, the visibility is too high, but you…]” He continued, quiet and unbothered as if he assumed you couldn’t understand him. 
“He’s been bugging me to get better locks all week…” you replied with a huff, quickly shutting up as his stare found your eyes again. Between Bucky’s ramblings in the night and Natasha’s tendency to only gossip in Russian, you had made an effort to learn it; You were still learning, and your pronunciation was shit, but your understanding had gotten far better. 
“And you have a good ear…” He spoke in English this time, the vague hint of an amused smile pulling at the assassin’s stern lips. You couldn’t help but wonder if he’d ever done that before. If that odd little smile had been seen by anyone else- anyone still living that is.
A breath of relief left you as your lips stretched to mimic his, the tension easing out of your body a little by little.
His metallic touch continued to linger, running down your covered chest until it settled on the waistband of your underwear, the cool metal trailing across your ticklish skin. 
“Ah, wait, Sol-” You jumped at his touch, grabbing his wrist, despite knowing you wouldn’t have the strength to stop him if it’s what he wanted.
But instead of dipping his fingers lower, he simply tugged the oversized hoodie up, gathering it over your chest and exposing the firm baby bump concealed below. His head tilted to the side as he listened to the tiny heartbeat that fluttered in your belly as well as the thuds of its little movements against your skin. Slowly, still with that inkling of a smile, he turned to look at you, his hand hovering just above your vulnerable midsection as if awaiting permission. 
Heat rose to your cheeks as you hesitated. On one hand, you felt a surprising amount of calm under the assassin's touch, his need for your approval only increasing your sense of security. But on the other hand, Bucky would never be able to live with himself if something happened to you or the baby, accident or not. 
“Oh. I-” 
CRASH.
You nearly jumped out of your skin as were cut short by the loud noise. The door to your apartment slammed open, surely breaking the hinges with the sheer force of it. Over a dozen heavy boots stormed into your apartment as the lights turned on, flooding your senses and forcing the Soldier’s attention elsewhere. 
Your hand found his instantly, the heat of his calloused skin a comfort to you just the way Bucky’s was, especially as it squeezed around yours just the same. Sitting up properly now your sweatshirt swallowed your pregnant form once again and you peeked out to see just what was going on. 
Through The Winter Soldier’s defensive stance in front of you, his knife is now drawn once more, you watched a small armed group, covered in black tactical gear raid your home, all guns pointing towards you- or more accurately- the former assassin attempting to shield you. You recognized the symbols on their vests as the team’s secondary security force, having even met a few of them over the years. But where was the rest of the team? Where was Sam, and Steve, and Tony?
“Step away from the civilian!” “Put your hands in the air!” “Sir, drop the knife!” They all shouted, overlapping with each other as each of them rushed out their demands. 
“Don't shoot! It’s okay! It’s okay!” You rushed.
You tried to slip your hand from his, but he only held fast, “Soldat, please… It’s okay, just do what they say… They don’t want to hurt us. Please,” You urged, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, 
His defenses faltered as he listened to you beg him to stand down. It wasn’t the usual begging he heard in his line of work, and coming from your lips had his walls cracking in an unprecedented way. 
He shouldn’t have looked back at your eyes, wide and pleading, as they shook his walls further. Moving slowly he turned, kneeling before you despite the way the armed group yelled at him not to. You just held up your hand to them, pleading for them to be as gentle with him as he was with you. 
“Мое солнце [My Sun]...” The warm flesh of his hand came up easily to cradle your face and a small smile pulled at him again as you leaned into his large palm. “Я только что нашел тебя. Я не потеряю тебя снова так быстро[I’ve only just found you. I will not lose you again so quickly]. ”
Your heart both swelled and pained for your Soldier. You looked into his eyes and saw a sense of certainty, a sense of knowing, you hadn’t seen from him earlier. “Oh… my soldier, my star,” Your fingers entwined with the hand holding your cheek, ”You can not lose me in any way that would last…” You whispered to him past the shouts, the commotion, and the tension, like you were the only two in the room. 
“Sir, put the knife down!” A young squad member called again, his voice far more concerned than his superiors. You didn’t recognize him or his number and you figured he must’ve been new. His gun trembled in his hands as he shouted again, but as the Soldier failed to move and the kid’s finger unexpectedly twitched, there came a sudden- 
BANG.
“Ah-!” Your face twisted with pain as you pulled away, “Fuck…!” Your hands instinctively grabbed your leg, clamping over the shooting pain in your calf that hit you- well- like a bullet. 
You winced again as you pulled one of your hands back, the raw skin of your leg angrily letting you know that it did not like being brushed against. Warm, wet crimson covered your fingers as you looked down, becoming slightly dizzy at how much had already covered your palm. You were thankful it only seemed to be a graze, but the burn you already felt and knowing you were losing blood had your stomach lurching in uncomfortable ways. 
Concern painted the assassin’s expression as you recoiled away from his doting touch, but as the unmistakable warm, metallic smell curled into his nose, his expression darkened dramatically. What was once kind, curious blue eyes now saw nothing but red as he caught sight of the wound slashing across your skin. His jaw set firmly, almost audibly grinding his teeth as he stood and turned to the young kid. 
You looked back at the newcomer as you tried to breathe through the pain, the horrified look on his face telling you that he knew he was a dead man walking. His face went ghost white as the super soldier stalked toward him and through even worse trembling hands he raised his gun to shoot again. 
“No…!”
A sickening thud rang out as the bullet hit the assassin square in his good shoulder, getting lodged in the muscly flesh. His shoulder jerked back at the force, but it wouldn’t stop his stride as he closed the gap. Another shot rang out, but with the solid vibranium arm now covering the barrel it did little to help this poor dumb kid. Snatching him by the neck, you watched as your assassin held him up until his feet kicked uselessly in the air. 
Every gun immediately trained on him and with their proximity you knew they wouldn’t miss a fatal shot if it came to it.
“Stop! Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot! Soldier, put him down!” You yelled as you maneuvered towards the edge of the bed. “Please, don't shoot, I can fix this!” you continued, trying to convince yourself as much as you convinced them. Familiar voices joined in on your plea as Sam and Steve finally entered the picture, urgently trying to talk down both the Winter Soldier and the secondary security team. 
“Bucky, It’s okay... Just put the kid down, alright?” Steve tried to reason with him, “He’s new, he doesn’t know what he’s doing yet.” Steve tried his best to stay calm and patient, but the young man was beginning to change colors now. “Bucky, put him down before you do something you can’t come back from.” But Bucky’s ears were deaf to the outside pleas and the Winter soldier refused to listen.
“Ah..!” You whimpered as you tried to stand and approach the commotion. The pain in your leg reached new heights as you tried to put weight on it, causing you to tumble to your knees almost immediately. You clutched your belly, hoping the sudden jostle wouldn’t upset the baby too much as you tried to get up again. 
“Hold on, Y/n. Stay down for a minute so we can wrap your leg…” Sam asked of you, moving over to help as soon as he saw the blood on your hands, “You’re losing plenty already.”
“No, I have to…. I can’t let him get hurt,” you argued, pushing away his helpful hands as you tried to stand again. You heard the crashing thud and rushed voices as you shakily got to your feet, leaning all your weight on your good leg. As you looked up again you came eye to eye with worry-filled icy blues.
“Sol-”
“Мое солнце  [My Sun]...” He interrupted, his metal arm snaking around your waist to pull you in possessively and away from those who threatened your safety. On the other side of the room, the nervous kid now coughed and wheezed for breath, but you were just happy to see he was still alive. 
“Please just listen to them. You’re already hurt, don’t get yourself killed…” you pleaded, your hand barely brushing over his bleeding wound before pulling his hand to your rounded belly. He tried to keep his expression steady, but you saw the way his eyes widened slightly as he looked down. “She needs someone looking out for her and I can’t do this on my own. I can’t keep away all the dangers of the world…” Your forehead rested against his as you tried to shift your weight, whining as you gave up and moved back. You couldn’t deny that this part of Bucky was her father too, even if he had been hidden away for ages, she was still his too. Whether Bucky would see it the same way you weren’t sure, but right now you were just concerned with making sure he got out of this alive. 
“I can’t do this without you…” 
The silence felt deafening as he considered. He never had to think about other people relying on him, not like this. His orders had always been to leave no threats, to finish his job and move on, no matter the cost to him. But the pain in his soft, fleshy shoulder was getting harder to ignore. The way his blood-soaked shirt clung to his arm now climbed to the forefront of his mind as he watched your big eyes stare back at him, desperate to understand. He was between a rock and a hard place. 
“I’ll be right beside you the whole time..” You assured him, “We both will, but please let everyone get us some help.” 
A gentle nudge pushed against his palm as his thoughts swirled around him, snapping him back to a single line of thought and he knew then. Defeat laid heavy on his shoulders as they slumped, accepting what must be done., “Мое солнц [My Sun] …”, He said, “Если вы так хотите, то я не буду жаловаться [If it is what you wish, then I will not complain].” 
You couldn’t tell just how long you had been holding the breath you let out, your muscles relaxing as he finally held his hands up. The security squad began coming forward with an array of cuffs, but it was Sam who stopped them this time, glancing back at you for confirmation as he assured them that they could take it from here. Despite the arguing and the hesitation, they seemed to relent, shifting their focus now to their injured colleague. 
Both Sam and Steve looked tired but relieved as they turned to the two of you, bloody and pained in your current state. Though they weren’t quite better; both of them looked like they had been the unfortunate punching bag of a certain super soldier mere hours before. Sam had bruises lining his arms from where he was surely blocking blow after blow and Steve smiled a bit with his busted lip, dried blood still stuck in the corner of his mouth.
“Let’s get you two to the tower…” 
----
The journey to the tower was quiet, your soldier never letting you out of arms reach as you all boarded the armored truck, and made your way up the tower and to the lab. 
Doctors tried to treat the both of you, but as soon as anyone dared to come close your assassin was right there to growl them back. They’d hardly be able to get past his possessive hands even if they could manage to get close, his touch keeping you pulled beside him at all times.
“Soldat…” you warned him, but he was too preoccupied gathering the medical bag they had been dropped. Coming over to you, there was no warning as he scooped you up from the ground and set you on a table to get to work. 
“Oh-!” You exclaimed as you held onto his strong shoulder, quickly getting plopped back down on the corner of the cold metal table. A shiver ran down your skin as you shifted against the sleek table, watching as practiced hands scoured through the medical bag, producing everything he needed as he went about fixing up your leg wordlessly. 
You were beyond thankful for the haze of the (baby-safe) painkillers as his fingers slid over the raw flesh. Despite the gentle numbing of the painkiller your fingers still lay tangled in his hair as he worked, only tugging in discomfort as the gauze wrapped tightly around your leg.
"Thank you..” You said when he finally finished, moving back to appreciate his work before giving it a satisfactory nod. His eyes had grown distant again, bits of confusion and uncertainty swirling in the storm of his eyes, and you reached out to stroke your thumb across his cheek. His stony cool expression remained as you touched him, his mouth staying a firm line as he instinctively leaned into your palm. You watched him for a moment before you continued, knowing that his thoughts must be far away.
“It's your turn now, big guy.... your shoulder is still seeping and you can’t keep losing blood like this," You urged him just as you had on the ride to the tower. He had refused to listen then, letting nothing else occupy his mind until he knew you were fully taken care of. But now as you sit safely before him, the only looming threats being Sam and Steve who seem to haunt the hallway outside, he finally relented.
You moved to stand, needing the angle to effectively dig out the bullet still lodged in his muscles, but he held you still with a single large hand on your shoulder, "Stay," he urged you with that low rumble of his. His eyes lingered on yours, ensuring you would do as he asked before he began to move again, gathering the supplies you would need.
He slid his bloody shirt off, revealing the weeping wound beneath and the scars of many wounds past. You expected him to stand in front of you, maybe sit so you could take care of him, but that didn’t seem to be the important thing right now.
He climbed up onto the cold table where you sat, curling onto his side with his back facing the door so his wounded shoulder sat closest to you. His head lay in your lap with a look of unmatched serenity as he pressed his forehead against your rounded belly. And there he rested, quiet and unmoving as he took his quiet moment. But he was far too exposed like this, far too trusting of “threats” lurking outside, and he almost reminded you of Bucky again. Was Bucky fighting to come back…? Was the Winter Soldier trusting you to watch his back? … or was he accepting of something you weren't sure he knew yet?
"Are you sure? It's going to be harder to take the bullet out this way. I don’t want to hurt you more than I have to," you tried to explain as you pulled out the forceps.
But he simply shook his head, "I know my time here is short, my Sun..." he said with an even tone, no semblance of fear to shake his voice, "Please let me enjoy it like this…."
Your voice caught in your throat as he answered, his blunt acceptance and knowing catching you off guard. You wished beyond anything that you could soothe him, to tell him no one was going to hurt him or take him away again. But you wouldn’t lie to him, so instead you said nothing, Your words rasping as you replied, "Of course, My star…."
The room was quiet as you worked, the only noise the sweet mumblings from your boyfriend's lips as he filled your baby’s ears with loving promises. His body let out a grunt and a soft squelch as you finally tugged the crushed bullet out. Pain creased his brow but his words never faltered and neither did the nudges or kicks he got in reply.
Carefully you cleaned up the blood, packing the wound as best you could, but you were sure Tony and his team would be redoing it soon nonetheless.
A sigh escaped him as he heard you putting away your tools, "My Sun?" he asked.
"Yes?"
“Is it time…?”
You cast your eyes downward, looking into those confused and swirling blues as they watched you with unbridled hope.
You nodded, wiping away the tears that welled in your eyes, “It’s time…” you whispered.
He nodded, thinking quietly as he looked down at your belly again, his hand smoothing over the skin he’s exposed, “Will I see you two again…?” 
Your heart broke at the slight waver in his voice, “Oh, my star…” you said, resting your palm against his cheek, “It’s just like I said, ‘you can not lose me in any way that would last’. I’ll see you again and again, in this life and the next,” you assured as you leaned down to kiss his temple, a small smile forming at the corners of his lips. Tears blinked from your eyes as you continued, “I don’t know when, or for how long, but you will see us again. You can always come home to me, and I will always be there to welcome you.” You leaned, slow as not to scare him, and kissed him gently as he turned again to look at you.
 It was awkward at first, but you didn’t mind, you couldn’t imagine the last time the Winter Soldier had felt such gentleness, let alone a kiss. 
But the moment was ripped away as the door opened, Steve, Sam, and Tony all standing in the doorway. “We’re ready for him,” Tony said simply, “Let's get this started so my lab techs can go home….” 
-----
You watched behind thick glass as Tony and his team of technicians attached various wires and machinery to Bucky’s body. Sam and Steve’s hands lie on your shoulders, trying to comfort you as you watch them finish tuning and placing everything. You watched as his blue eyes stared vacantly at the ceiling, as still as a statue as he let them do their work.
“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to watch this…” Steve tried to comfort you, but you only shook your head. 
“No… I promised I’d see him off,” you replied, then thought with a pause, “Despite all the warnings Bucky gave me I’m happy I got to see him face to face…” 
“Well, it helps that he wasn’t trying to beat the shit out of you…” Sam mumbled, getting an immediate nudge from you right in one of his bruises, “ Ow…okay, point taken.”
You smiled and shook your head. It was true though; despite the fear, blood, and death that dripped from his moniker, despite the pain you endured in his presence, you would do it all again. Bucky had hidden this part of him from you for so long, only ever showing you half of his face. And though you know he wouldn’t like it, you’re happy to finally see him in full light- to know and love him completely as he’s meant to be.
Tony says something that’s hard to make out through the glass, but you see him give a thumbs up to you all so he must have been ready. He moved to the switch, hesitating for a moment to let you say a quick goodbye. 
Your Soldier’s eyes found yours right away, but there was no trace of sorrow for you to see, no discomfort or fear. In fact, he seemed almost excited; excited and hopeful that when he saw you next he’d have a bundle of joy to look forward to as well. 
“Мое солнце [My Sun]...” you watched him say beyond the glass.
“I’ll see you again, My stars. I’m sure of it…” You replied with a soft smile.
He had just enough time to smile softly back at you, an image now pleasantly etched in your brain before Tony flipped the switch and the reset procedure began. 
You covered your eyes quickly as Bucky’s body began to convulse, his strained grunts and shouts breaching containment despite the way he tried to hold it all back. The sounds of pain continued for minutes, but it felt far longer. Though, it wasn’t until it got quiet that you began to worry. 
“Is it done? Is it over...?” You asked the men on either side of you, afraid to peek past your hands for fear of the worst.
“Doll…?” you heard the familiar voice call, gritty and rough from its recent use but still carrying that same soft tone he used with you.
Your heart swelled, “Bucky...?”
_____________
Taglist: @writingmysanity @simpxinnie (sorry I forgot to tag!)
It's been a while since I've written for our favorite sad man, so if I've missed you/you want to be added to the taglist, DM me to let me know!
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noceurous · 28 days
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get you back
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summary: You hated that you loved Bucky Barnes, and he loved that you could not hate him.
warnings: mention of alcohol consumption, semi-drunkenness, carsex (18+), fingering, oral, swearing, smut, p in v, unprotected sex (don’t do it), fuckbuddy!bucky, dbf!bucky, implied age gap, mention of bad boyfriends (not bucky), using nicknames (princess, bunny) , slight degradation - nothing physical, some mention of food
minors dni
a/n: yes I AM BACK
A loud snap of fingers made you turn your head to him. “Are you even listening to me?” You sighed, pressing fingers on your temples to look like you were trying to remember.
No, you weren’t listening. You were thinking how that hot guy was about to give you his number, before James Buchanan Barnes a.k.a the actual devil, snatched you away. Leading you to his car without giving you a chance to say goodbye to the best body you have ever seen.
You. Hated. James. Bucky. Barnes.
“Something about… bunnies?” You shrugged as you turned your head back towards the road. Even though it was almost pitch black, you fought your urge to look at his profile under car’s lights. Even though he was angry and sleepless he looked better than all the guys you’ve ever known.
“Really? You are not even trying kid.” He said as he emphasized on the last word. He knew how much you hated the nickname.
“Stop calling me a kid. I’m not that young.”
“I will stop calling you a kid, when you stop acting like one. What were you thinking? What was the point of all that drinking? Get my attention or liver failure?”
The point was to get over your ex boyfriend finding someone before you did. You didn’t want to be the one who was stuck in an ended relationship.
You weren’t even prepared to the idea that he would start dating in a few months. His post just popped on your phone while you were scrolling through pictures on Instagram. Selfie with her, cheek to cheek and smiling like a true dumbass he is.
Getting ass drunk would be a nice way to forget. But you shouldn’t been too drunk to start texting and calling other people.
Especially calling the guy you hated the most. Because he would show up just in time, and yank you away from the guy you were flirting with.
You really shouldn’t have drunk texted your on-again-off-again hookup. Neighbour of your parents, a close friend of your dad.
It started just a few days after your heartbreak. You weren’t sure of how it started, but you remembered how it ended. In his bed, literally begging him for letting you cum as he pounded into you like an animal.
When you weren’t fucking, all you did was argue. Arguments about when to meet up or where to meet up… You hated meeting up in his place, so close to your parents. And he hated meeting only for an hour max.
You started fighting and decided to not meet up again. Either of you got tired of all the lies and secrets. It was you more than it was him. Bucky was always sure you would come back to him one way or another.
“Remind me not to call you again.” You huffed, resting your head on the window. Sun was about to shine in a few hours and all you wanted was to get into your bed. All you needed was forget the day and move on.
“Sure your parents would be thrilled to know their daughter would end up in jail for DUI.” You turned your neck so fast that it hurt.
“I wasn’t going to drive the car!”
“You getting into car of a drunk idiot is stupid enough too!”
“Stop acting like you are my dad! He was fucking hot, and he told me his place was really close.”
“What made you believe in him? I know what that kind of guy thinks. It is only getting you to the bed. You would be considered lucky if he bothered to call you the next day.”
“So? What made you think I am not okay with it?” You saw all the blood rushing to his cheeks, decorating them with a soft pink hue.
“Okay...” He said trying to not go any further with that discussion.
You dropped your shoulders, when you saw how his grasp on wheel tightened and his jaw clenched. If you didn’t know him that well, you would say he was offended.
Whether it was because of anger towards him or how tired you were. You didn’t say anything back but leant your seat back to at least sleep for the rest of the ride.
“Oh no princess, you are definitely not sleeping.” He said just before he slapped your thigh. Small ‘Hey!’ fell from your lips. It was fair to expect him to snap and say you crossed a line.
You yanked your leg away from his grasp. He shut you up before you could say anything back. “You made me get all this way three in the morning. Ofcourse there would be consequences.”
“I didn’t ask you to come.” You said as you rubbed your thigh.
“You sent me a picture of you lifting your skirt and texted all those things you want to do with me. But when I come to pick you up, I saw you on the lap of some dickhead.”
“I was horny. We’ve decided to stop with fooling around. Life moves on James.” As you finished the sentence, his foot stepped on the pedal so quick that he had to use his arm to stop you from falling forward.
“Get in the back of the car.”
“James, I’m tired.”
“Get in the back, or I will make you bunny.” You didn’t said anything back. Bucky never called you bunny, if he didn’t have something on his mind. You knew better than to take the risk of getting him angrier.
You rolled your eyes before unfastening your seatbelt. He caught the sight of your underwear as you bent over to move through the gap between the seats. Even though Bucky saw your pink thong, you acted like you had the upper hand.
“Take off your skirt.” He said before coming next to you. He almost yanked off the door before squishing you on the backseat.
He pulled you by your legs, making you lie down. The cold leather of the seats caused goosebumps on your skin. That and you knew what he was capable of when he was angry.
And he was pissed.
“Not so tired ha, bunny?” His large hands wandered along your legs, moving slowly towards your hips.
A loud noise of your gulp echoed in your brain. You could get used to that view. You legs hooked to his shoulders. His charming face inches over your lucky thong.
“Tell me again bunny.” He said as his eyes locked on your figure under his, trying not to smirk at the wet patch on your thong.
“Tell you what?” You asked. Blinking at him with nothing else on your mind.
“Tell me again the last thing you told me before breaking up with me. So I would not have my way with you.”
“Uhm...” He started kissing on the top of your thighs. Index finger was tracing your slit over the thong.
“We can’t keep doing this and not expect one of us getting hurt. Ah-“ He bit inside of your thigh, sucking a gentle bruise. “James.”
He didn’t listen to you. If he ever did that was not it definitely.
“I’m listening. Continue.” Kisses, soft bites started decorating your body.
His hands placed next to your waist. His teeth brushed along the band of your thong. You wanted to raise your hips. But the way he looked up at you, the darkness in his eyes, made you stop.
You licked your lips, closing your eyes to concentrate. “We continue lying to our close ones and soon enough the lies would get out of—“ You stopped as he curled his finger like a hook to pull down your thong.
He mumbled something that you were sure was Russian as he got close to your heat. His eyes looked into your eyes. You knew he was daring you to stop.
If you stop I’ll stop too bunny.
He didn’t need to speak for you to understand.
“—hands. Lies get out of our hands. It is too risky and it does not worth it. We both know that this affair does not take LONG!”
He licked a stripe over your slit. As his cold fingers separated your folds. He loved to torture you like this.
“I don’t want any of us to get hurt.” You manage to finish your speech as you felt the familiar tingles build up.
The tip of his tongue flicked your clit and you had to hold on to something, his hair, to stop your thighs to close around his head.
“See this is where you are wrong, bunny. There isn’t any chance where you can hurt me...” He said as his fingers collected some of your juices, raising them to his lips. “Unless you try to neglect me of your sweet nectar.” He sucked his fingers clean, you heard a tiny ‘hmm’ as his fingers touched his tongue.
He raised his head to look at you when he was circling around your weeping hole. “Answer this, do you want to hurt me bunny?” He wanted to make you weep as much as your pussy.
“N-no. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then why you try to break things off?” The tip of his finger slowly pushed into your whole. He pulled it back before you could enjoy this. “Are you going to try and break things off again?” Another question he didn’t need to hear its answer to. He could read it from your tearful eyes and slight pout. “Oh bunny.” He whispered to himself, pride filling his chest.
His finger went back to circling around your hole as he used another one to toy with your clit. You could not stop yourself from curling your toes and try to pull him closer.
That arrogonat smirk on his face made a comeback. “Are you going to flirt with other guys who I’m sure does not even know what a clit is?” You shook head your again and he pressed his thumb.
“Fuck.” You said as you squirmed under his touch.
“Not the answer I am looking for. Do you want to try again bunny?”
“I—I’m not going to flirt with other guy a—and ohgod!” He pushed one inch of his finger inside curling the tip so it would reach your spot. You didn’t stop so he wouldn’t either. “I’m not going break things o—off.”
One more inch and you knew you would start to drip onto seats. Before you knew it, his mouth got back onto your clit. “James!” You said again as you pulled onto his locks.
“Shit! It’s only been a week but your pussy is crying out f’ me.” He said as he stood back up.
Your legs started shaking by the time. You whimpered at the lost contact of his fingers and lips. You also missed seeing him with your thighs wrapped around his head.
You knew if you touched yourself he would bite your fingers and deny you any sort of release. He quickly unfastened his belt and lowered his pants and boxers just low enough to take out his cock.
The tip was swollen red it was starting to leak some precum as he pressed it on your clit. “You are an attention whore bunny. It’s been only a week and I find you cosy with another guy. This deserves punishment don’t you think?”
“Please! I’ve been just trying to get your attention.” He smiled at your confession as he aligned his tip.
“Tell me you are mine and mine only. If you tell me that, I’ll give you what you want.”
“I’m yours James. I’m only yours, I do not belong to anybody else.” He started slowly push into you.
He leaned over you to fix the hair got on your face. His lips brushed along yours when you moaned as he found the spot. Your legs started to got down but he held them back. Pushing your bent knee to your chest as he started moving.
His hips started rutting into you slowly. “So pretty like this bunny. All spread out for me.” His tongue darted out from his lips to giving you a longing kiss. All teeth and tongue, full of lust and desire.
His large hands pulled down your strapless top, letting your tits out. His tongue clicked on top of mouth. “And thinking I would be sharing them with some dickhead.” He pushed into you hardly, making you jump into his arms.
“I don’t share bunny. Never.” You knew he meant more with those words.
Air inside the car was getting thick because of your panting. His fingers started playing with your nipples to get them erect as he held your tits together and started licking and sucking both of them.
“Not the teeth ah!” You tried to protest but he had already sunk his teeth into your extra-sensitive flesh. Sweet melody of your cries caused him to increase speed. He wanted more.
You yelped as you tried to find something to hold onto, best thing you found was the back of his shoulder as you pressed your nails against his skin. Bruises and scratches would be greeting both of you as first thing in the morning but it didn’t bother you as long as it came with pleasure.
“FuckFuckFuck!” Familiar coil started to form under your belly button, and you threw your head back. “James, please please…”
“Wanna cum bunny? Is that it? Mumblin’ because you are too close?” He said after detaching from your nipples with a pop. The little numb was all swollen and covered in saliva.
“Y-yes oh.” He slammed his hips onto yours with more force and stayed pressed into you. “Cum for me bunny. Cream all over my cock, fuck, you filthy girl, so eager for a release.” He said as he stopped your wriggling hips against is. “Humpin’ me like a cute lil’ bunny.”
Your hips started moving involuntarily, chasing after your release. He helped you with continuing the pound into you. You were chanting his name unable to form more coherent words or sentences.
“That’s it bunny. Cum for me come on! I’ve got you.” Just after he was finished your release hit you like a wave, causing you to lose all the control of your mind and body.
But he didn’t stop, he increased his pace. Chasing his own release using your numb body. “‘So pretty like this bunny. Makes me want to keep you all to myself.”
“I’m all yours.” You whispered, truly meant it. As you became used to the swell on your chest each time you look at him.
You were really his.
“Yeah? Are you going to take my cum? Let me breed you? I’m sure you would love that don’t you bunny? All swollen with my cum, looking at me with those pretty eyes. Fuck!”
“Yes, yes yes give it to me please.”
“Fucking take it. You little cumslut.” You felt the wetness and warmth of his release shoot right inside of you.
He stood there with your legs wrapped around his waist. Looking at your tired and ruined figure. Taking the sight in just before he slowly pulled out.
“We—“ You tried to speak up, trying not to show him how much you missed his cock inside you already.
As he was putting his clothes back on you once were aware of this situation.
There was no We, you two were just fucking whenever one of you needed some release. No matter what you do to get his attention, all you would get was his dick pounding into you. It won’t be his heart.
Sound of glove compartment’s being closed made you raise on your elbows to look at him.
You saw him take out some tissues to wipe off his leaking cum. “Are you on the pill?” You shook your head, you knew how those were messing up with you. “I’m not ovulating, it’s fine.” He shook his head, “Still gotta get you some plan B. We shouldn’t be risking it.”
“Sure.” You tried to swallow the ache in your throat, and your pride.
You fixed your top and found your thong on the ground, raising it to put it on. Tension between the two of you was so thick that a saw could not even cut it.
He got back on his seat and started the engine. “The sun is about to rise, I can drive to a diner and got us some breakfast. There is a place I know makes your favourite. They are also good at making it.” He couldn’t hide his smile when he saw your smile at the mention of the food. He loved making you smile like that.
Sleep was the last thing on your mind, since he fucked your brains out. Since it had been more than 10 hours since you last ate something; growling sounds from your stomach was about to come. “Sounds good but I want to wear my skirt first.”
“Sure bunny.” He said as he tossed your skirt back to you.
And it was a second, just a second, that he felt like he could get used to it.
He could get used to having breakfast with you. He could get used to your face being the first thing he saw as he started his day. He could get used to having sex with only one person, someone really means something to him.
But when your phone buzzed, and he saw your dad’s name on the screen he got back into reality.
You sent it to voicemail, and leaned closer to him over the table. He saw the same smile again on your lips and the familiar spark on your eyes.
“So what do you say? Your place or mine?”
He smiled back at you, leaning over you. “Which one do you prefer, bunny?” He knew he could go on as long as you looked at him like that.
As long as you looked at him with love. Even if you were just realizing, he was already an addict for it.
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lonewolfwriting89 · 10 months
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ON MY KNEES
Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: NSFW. Smut. Oral.
————
His broad shoulders were pinning you to the wall, your bodies pressed up so close that you might have been one body mass. You felt Bucky take your arms and place them around his neck before taking the kiss deeper as his tongue slid in, caressing yours.
The sensations were too wonderful to resist. You knew you were going to lose it, lose all control. And the funny thing was, you wanted to lose it, wanted to forget all that you’d seen and been through in one night.
So you kissed him back, pressing your lips firmly against his, revelling in the low growl that emanated from the base of his throat. Your hands were no longer pliant but around his neck now, clutching, tugging, pulling at his dark hair, wanting him to do more than just kiss you.
Bucky’s hands ran up the length of your sides, caressing the newly exposed skin with his calloused fingertips and knuckles. Goosebumps broke out on the surface of your skin as his teases sent spirals of desire coursing through your body. You arched your back, bringing your firm breasts into contact with the clothed heat of his chest and he groaned, the need to feel your naked body against his reducing his strong body to tremors.
The shirt that you wore became a distant memory as he tore it off you, letting it slip to the carpeted ground around you both. His hands then moved to knead the sides of your breasts, deliberately avoiding the curve and peak of them. You whimpered, a silent plea for him to touch you, tease you, ruin you.
But he took his time as he led you into another kiss, this one more delicious than the first as he plundered your mouth. You gripped his upper arm, your nails leaving crescent indentations on his rough skin, almost desperate now for his touch.
Bucky’s fingers teased the underside of your breasts and you writhed, the need to feel his flesh overwhelming you. Your fingers tore at his expensive dark shirt and he threw it to the floor in one quick jerk.
Oh God, you thought. He was so beautiful; all dark beauty rolled into a toned solid mass. And he wanted to ravish you. It seemed to slip your mind that he was the head of the mafia. Or maybe, it didn't really matter.
His hands strayed over the waistband of your panties and you moaned, wanting the little triangle of material out of the way. You put your hands over his, helping him with the task of discarding your underwear. As you stepped out of them, he went to his knees, still holding you up by the hips. You felt your core soak, seeing this devilishly powerful man on his knees… for you.
The first touch of his tongue against the wetness of your pussy made you clutch desperately at his shoulders. He was teasing you with tentative licks over your core, lingering around the area where you needed him most.
You tilted your head back onto the wall as you felt his tongue position itself to lap at you in long, deliberate strokes around your drenched slit. Your clit was so swollen that you could feel the throb of it sending bolts of electrifying pleasure throughout your body. You thrust your hips into his sinful mouth and he took you fully, devouring you.
“Oh fuck”, you breathed as you felt an orgasm nearing. His tongue was travelling in broad strokes along the length of your pussy. Up and down it went until in one brief change in rhythm, it went plunging in, into the depth of your sweetness.
“Oh god!”, you screamed as you felt something tighten inside you. All the undiluted pleasure seemed to centre at your core deliciously before expanding and rupturing at a voltage that was too much for your body to handle.
You sobbed Bucky’s name, a high keening sound that tore from your throat as you held onto him as he took you flying, beyond yourself, beyond stars. Your screams slowly turned into mewls as the remaining shudders racked your body-- a body that was now too weak to stay aloft. A body that now belonged to him.
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sergeantxrogers · 11 months
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| something that we’re not |
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Summary: Just don’t fall in love. That was the only rule. It was literally the only rule, and it was already broken. 
Pairing: fwb!Bucky Barnes x f!reader
Word count: 4.5k
Warnings: Angst, swearing, alcohol consumption (if you don’t drink just pretend it’s juice xx), kissing, yearning, fluff at the end
Note: heyy y’all... i know it’s been a while and i also know i have a shit ton of unfinished stuff and a couple requests but this idea popped into my head like two days ago and i was gonna explode if i didn’t write it since i’m basically going through the same thing (just without the fluffy ending yet) i’ve been very very busy with college and studying and life in general, i miss you all like crazy tho, i hope you enjoy this :)
_______________
“So, I guess our best option would be moving to Quantico?”
“Do we really wanna be associated with the FBI, though?”
“Well, I just thought-”
“We need to look at more options.”
Your eyes bounced back and forth across the board room, landing on Sam, then Torres, then Fury. You tried staying focused, you really did. 
But it was proving difficult with Bucky’s eyes searing into the side of your face, making you acutely aware of every movement you made and every breath you took. You shifted in your chair, eyes flickering towards him, and you saw his jaw clench with his lips pulled back in a subtle smirk. He moved his gaze away from you, instead opting to watch Fury as he spoke about... whatever he was speaking about. Something about finding new headquarters, or working out of multiple areas. Sam would give you the run-down later.
Bucky’s eyes would be the death of you. 
You spent the remaining half hour of the meeting avoiding them altogether, biting your tongue and trying to keep your foot still and your breathing even. 
“Y/N,” Fury’s voice boomed, and you jolted slightly.
All eyes turned to you.
“Any thoughts? You seem quiet today,” Fury observed, head tilted slightly. 
You shook your head. “No, I just- No. Nothing to add, sir. I’m okay.”
You gave him an awkward smile as he stared at you a bit longer. Eventually, he decided he had grilled you enough, and called the meeting to an end. 
You let out a long, quiet sigh, and turned your chair to face the glass table in front of you, papers and files askew and messy. You cleared your throat as your eyes followed everyone through the door as they left, dragging your hands slowly as you collected your papers. Sam left first, dropping a heavy hand on your shoulder as he went by. Torres went next, giving you a boyish smile, and Fury left after him without a word. 
Your fingers tingled as you slammed your binder shut, trying to keep your smile at bay. You refused to look up, because you knew if you did, you’d be met with those eyes that got you to do anything they wanted. 
“Problem?”
You shook your head nonchalantly, keeping your eyes glued to the plastic cover of your binder. “Not on my side. You could’ve tried being a bit more subtle with the staring, though.”
You heard him chuckle, and finally, you lifted your gaze to rest on him. A mischievous smile rested on his lips, his tongue dragging across his bottom teeth as he stared at you, slowly making his way around the table. 
You stared back, unwilling to let him know how fazed you truly were with his proximity, even though it felt like your skin was on fire, a heavy, slow beat thundering in your ears and through your veins, travelling it’s course throughout your body and finding home deep in your core. You shifted your hips slightly. Bucky noticed. 
He stopped walking only when he was a foot away from you. You swore if he was half an inch closer you would’ve fell to your knees in front of him, his gravitational pull too strong to avoid. 
He was the sun, bright, burning, and energetic, and you were the singular, lone planet orbiting him, never able to pull away far enough to forget him, but never close enough to really, truly, have him. You just went in circles around him, over and over again, day in, day out, and he watched you and laughed. At least, that was what it felt like sometimes.
Bucky studied your eyes, gaze dropping to your lips, before lifting to meet your eyes again. Your chest rose and fell unsteadily no matter how much you tried to keep it in check. 
“Come over tonight?” he whispered, eyes drinking in the way your pupils dilated at the sound of his voice. 
You felt a tinge of sadness, buried somewhere deep inside your heart; a place you had closed off and locked up for good a long time ago in order to keep from breaking altogether. You kicked it down, swatting it away like an annoying fly before Bucky began to notice your hesitation.
“Okay,” you said softly, nodding. The smile on his face was almost worth the pain that singular word stabbed you with. 
__________
One Year Earlier
You set the extra beers on the table with a soft grunt. Sarah turned, almost poking you with the barbeque fork in her hand, and gave you a grateful smile. 
“You’re a sweetheart, Y/N,” she cooed, and you brushed her off with a wave of your hand, despite the blush on your cheeks. 
“No biggie, you know I’m always down to help.”
Sarah leaned over the table, abandoning the grill for a second to place a kiss on your forehead. “You can go now, have some fun.”
You smiled and turned to walk away before she grabbed your wrist.
“Take one, honey,” Sarah said, pointing to the beers in front of you. “You’re a guest, too, ya know.”
You hummed with a happy smile before pulling out a beer from the package, then pausing. Before your judgment got the better of you, you pulled out another one, cold against your fingers as the droplets of condensation rolled over them.
“See ya, Sar!” you called out over your shoulder, and she waved the fork over her head in goodbye.
You weaved through the sparse crowd of people, saying hi to a few and smiling at some others. Sam was nowhere to be found, but you figured he was the one responsible for the children screaming with laughter somewhere near the end of the dock, so you decided you would look for him later. The water splashed gently against the wooden dock, the sound of the waves bringing you a sense of peace as you squinted behind your sunglasses against the sunset and looked for Bucky.
Finally, you saw a figure, dark and shoulders wide against the orange expanse of the sky, sitting on the hard top above the helm of Sam and Sarah’s boat. His feet were hanging over the glass windows, and you knew Sam would throw a fit if he saw him dirtying the glass with his shoes.
You smiled to yourself before gathering the courage to clamber onto the boat, holding on to the two beers for dear life as you did so. 
“That you, dolly?” he called down, and you rolled your eyes with a smile. 
“Who else would it be, dumbass,” you replied, holding up the beers and letting him take them before you grabbed onto the small ladder and hauled yourself up. 
He scooted to the side, making room for you as you sat down beside him with a huff. 
Bucky had opened the beers with his hand as you were climbing up, so you took one from him with a soft ‘thanks’, pushing your glasses up onto your head.
The two of you sipped in silence for a couple of minutes, your eyes scanning the open water, sparkling in the red and pink hues of the setting sun. It wasn’t as hot here, near the water, as it was back on the dock with the people and the food and the laughter. Everything seemed quieter, behind you, in another world. The boat back and forth softly. 
“What gave you this idea?” you asked, breaking the silence. 
Bucky was silent for a moment, tapping a finger against the glass of his beer, before shrugging and turning to look at you, squinting an eye against the sun. 
“It’s peaceful,” he said, and you nodded. 
You held your own beer between your legs and leaned back to rest on the palms of your hands. “You feelin’ okay, Buck?”
He took in a deep breath as he looked out ahead, staring at the water before just nodding his head. 
“Yeah,” he said after a moment. “Yeah, I’m good, actually. I just needed a moment to clear my head. Nothing bad, just... I’m grateful, is all.”
“Grateful for having such amazing best friends like Sam and me? Or grateful for being able to open beer without an opener? Or maybe grateful for Sarah’s world-famous barbeque chicken?” you teased, and he snorted a laugh, shaking his head.
He turned to look at you and shrugged. “All of it, I guess.”
He had said it so softly, and so truthfully, that your first reflex was to sit up straight, bringing yourself closer to him. You brought a leg up and folded it underneath the other one, left hanging beside his, so you were turned to face him completely. Your beer was left getting warmer in your lap, but you didn’t mind, because the way Bucky was staring at you right now made nothing else matter. It made you believe everything was gonna be okay eventually. 
And you didn’t know what came over you. Maybe it was the soft waves rocking the boat, or maybe it was the cool summer breeze that danced across your arms. Maybe it was the call of a seagull somewhere in the distance and the soft murmur of the party back on the dock that made you close your eyes and lean into him. And he did the same, connecting your lips with a soft sigh that made you wonder if he had been waiting for this moment as long as you had. 
Bucky tasted like beer and peppermint gum. His lips were soft, and warm, and a bit salty, as if he had come up out of the ocean himself, some form of Poseidon sent to seduce you and take you back underwater with him forever. And you would gladly let him if it meant he would keep kissing you like this. 
You heard a soft rolling, and then a bang and a crash before realizing Bucky’s beer had rolled off the hard top and crashed onto floor of the boat. And he didn’t care, opting to now use his free hands to pull you onto his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist. This sent your own beer following his, the sound of glass breaking making you giggle against his lips.
“Sam’s gonna kill us,” you muttered, and he smiled into the kiss.
“I don’t care,” he whispered, hands travelling underneath your cotton shirt and leaving trails of fire wherever his fingers passed. 
He pulled away, and you brought your hands up to tangle your fingers in his messy hair. He looked so beautiful, lips red and puffy, cheeks painted by a soft blush, eyes hooded and dark. 
“I could get used to this,” he said, voice hoarse, and it sent chills down your spine. 
You merely nodded. “Me too.”
Bucky brought a hand up to your neck and pulled you down into him for another kiss, and you melted into his touch. 
“This is- this is good,” he mumbled against your mouth, and you just sighed and hummed in agreement.
“We should do this more,” he said, hands gripping your hips and moving you against him slightly. “We should do this a lot more.”
You bit your lip and stared into his eyes as you tried catching your breath. One of your hands found its way from his hair to his face, your finger tracing the worry lines between his brows softly, then dropping to travel across the bridge of his nose. “We should.”
Bucky nodded, and gave your hips another squeeze. 
“Just don’t fall in love,” he said, a teasing tone lilting his voice, and the breath in your throat hitched.
“What?” you asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.
“Just don’t fall in love,” he repeated, nipping softly at your neck as he spoke. 
You scoffed. “Not a problem, trust me.”
Bucky lifted his head from your neck to look up at you. He gave you a boyish smile, and you rolled your eyes at him in return. 
You hoped he couldn’t sense the way your heart split open, flooding with sadness and heartbreak at the realization that he didn’t love you the way you loved him. You hoped he couldn’t read the desperation in your eyes and on your tongue as each kiss dimmed your soul a bit more.
You hoped he wouldn’t notice the fact that you were madly in love with him already, but decided to pretend not to be, because having him in any way was better than not having him at all. 
__________
“I just don’t know how much longer I can keep going.”
Sarah hummed in contemplation, wiping down the glass in her hand and setting it in the overhead cabinet. 
“Well, have you talked to him about it?”
You scoffed. “No fucking way. I’d rather suffer in silence than lose him completely.”
Sarah threw the rag in her hand over her shoulder and rested her hip on the counter. She crossed her arms and gave you one of those looks of hers where she just knew you were bullshitting her. 
“Y/N,” she sighed as she stepped over to the dining table where you were sat with your chin in your hand. “I’m begging you to think this through. You know I only want what’s best for you.”
You give her an unamused side eye and shrug your shoulders. You kept your focus on the placemat in front of you, picking at the edge with your finger.
Sarah pulled out the chair next to you and took a seat, bringing a hand up to squeeze your forearm. 
“It’s been a year of you hurting after him and him not giving a damn. Now, I love Bucky, just as much as I love Sam, but he can be so dumb sometimes. It’s like he misses social cues on purpose.”
Her exasperated tone pulled a smile to your lips and you quirked your brow in agreement. Sarah continued.
“I love seeing the two of you together, believe me, if anyone wants you to end up together officially, it’s me. But if you’re too afraid to talk to him about it because you’re worried you’ll lose him, then there’s only one thing you can do, honey.”
You gave her a look, and she gave you an apologetic smile in return. “This friends with benefits thing just isn’t cutting it anymore, I fear. You have to let him go.”
You took in a deep breath to try and keep the tears at bay, because no matter how much you avoided it, you knew Sarah was right. You had two options: risk talking to Bucky about it and potentially ruining whatever semblance of friendship you had left. Or, you could stop giving in to him and running whenever he called just to feel a sliver of something bigger. 
You let out a frustrated groan and let your head hit the table. Neither option sounded appealing, but you supposed if you had to pick one, you’d rather it be the latter. Ignoring someone was always the easy way out.
Or so you thought.
Three weeks later, and you were about to implode. It was difficult to go no-contact when all Bucky did was contact you. 
Dozens of his calls left to voicemail and ignored text messages, you thought he would’ve gotten the message by now. However, he only seemed to be getting worse. 
You left Sarah’s every time Sam called to say he was dropping by with Bucky. You asked Fury to put you on assignments with Torres instead of Bucky. You were doing your very hardest to come up with excuses as to why you couldn’t come over every time Bucky managed to corner you in a hallway or text you to stop by. 
You thought it would get easier over time, yet your heart only ached more and more each day you woke up and remembered: it wasn’t the same anymore. Those first two seconds after waking up, before that sinking feeling of realization hit, were something you treasured more than life itself. 
You wondered if he noticed. If he asked himself what had happened, or if everything was okay. He hadn’t come to visit, though, so you supposed he was just ready to move on to the next one after all. 
__________
Bucky tried focusing on whatever Sam was saying. He really, truly was. But it was proving difficult when his thoughts kept pulling him back to you. Or rather, the lack of you these days. 
It didn’t help that everywhere he looked and everything he saw reminded him of you in some way. The fishing nets Sam made him help haul over the bow? He smiled to himself at the memory of your foot getting tangled in them, making you trip and fall with a swear. The gulls flying above them? Almost like that time one flew down and stole a huge bite of your burger, leaving you wide eyed in shock. And God forbid he looked up, at the hard top above the helm. The first time you ever kissed him, soft hands and soft touch, marked to this day by the beer stains on the floorboards of the ship. 
“Buck?”
Sam’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and he cleared his throat, shaking his head. “Sorry, what did you say?”
“I asked if you wanted to go out fishing with me later since Sarah’s busy with the kids. The babysitter cancelled on her, and you know she can’t leave those boys alone in the house for longer than five minutes.”
Bucky smiled fondly and nodded. “Yeah, I’ll go.”
Sam threw a rag at him, wet and dripping with soapy water. 
“How about you actually help clean something for once, Barnes?”
Bucky rolled his eyes but obliged, turning to his side to start wiping down the hull as far as he could reach. As he wiped, he cleared his throat.
“Have you, uh, seen Y/N lately?”
Sam paused his mopping, letting out a sigh and resting his elbow on the mop handle. “Yeah, man, she’s at Sarah’s, like, all the time. Why?”
Bucky’s heart sank at Sam’s words, and he tried getting rid of the uncomfortable feeling in his chest as he shifted on his feet nonchalantly. 
“Oh.”
“Why?” Sam repeated.
Bucky shrugged, still avoiding Sam’s eyes. “I dunno. I get the feeling she’s been avoiding me these days.”
Sam stayed quiet, and that prompted Bucky to look up from his wiping and make eye contact with him. He gave him a knowing look, leaning against the mop.
“What?” Bucky asked defensively. 
“Does she have any reason to be avoiding you?” Sam asked him, and Bucky paused.
“I don’t think so,” he replied after a moment. 
Sam scoffed and shook his head disbelievingly. “Alright man. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
Bucky threw his hands up and turned towards him. “What is it? Do you know something I don’t?”
“You’re really stupid sometimes. You know that, right?”
Bucky rolled his eyes. “Yes, actually, you’ve told me multiple times.”
“Good,” Sam said with a satisfied smile and clapped a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Just makin’ sure you didn’t forget.”
Suddenly, his smile dropped and he lowered his voice. “But seriously dude, just go and check on her. Don’t be a jackass.”
Bucky stood still, even after Sam turned to continue mopping the deck, staring at the back of his head. He nodded slowly, to himself, and squeezed the rag in his hand a little tighter. 
__________
The knock on your door had you groaning in annoyance, prompting you to push yourself up off your bed where you had been rotting away over the weekend. You had told Sarah you weren’t feeling very well, and it wasn’t a lie. You had just omitted the fact that you were emotionally unwell. 
A chill ran through your body as you made your way to the door, making you wrap your robe a little tighter around your body. You heaved out a heavy sigh as you unlocked the door.
“Sarah, I already told you I don’t need any-”
It wasn’t Sarah at the door. Sarah’s eyes weren’t that specific shade of blue that made you want to sink into them and never come back out. Only one person had eyes like that-
“Bucky?”
“Y/N.”
“What... what are you doing here?”
“What, I can’t visit my best friend?”
A tiny, needle-like tinge pierced your heart at his words, yet another reminder that you were just that to him: his friend. 
You stuttered, tripping over your words as he sidestepped you, making his way into your place. 
“How have you been?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Well, I haven’t seen you in a couple of weeks, so I was wondering if you were okay,” Bucky clarified, shrugging.
You stared at him, standing in the middle of your living room, black t-shirt and black jeans so out of place in the midst of all your pink and grey furniture and decorations. Yet somehow, he looked like he was exactly where he belonged. 
You shook your head, trying to brush him off with a slight chuckle. “I’m fine, Buck, I don’t... I don’t know what you mean-”
“Yes you do,” he interrupted you, cutting straight to the chase. “Why won’t you answer my calls? Why haven’t you been returning my texts? Why do you leave Sarah’s the moment you find out I’m coming over? You’ve been ignoring me, Y/N, and I wanna know what I did to deserve that.”
You stood flabbergasted, opening and closing your mouth, at a loss for words. 
“I just- I,” you stuttered, shaking your head. “I have no idea what you’re talk-”
“Y/N,” he pressed, and in two long strides he was right in front of you, towering over you with his supersoldier frame. His hands came up to hold your face, his eyes searching yours for an answer. “Please don’t make a fool of me.”
Your bottom lip immediately began to quiver, and Bucky’s eyes softened. 
“Bucky I-”
“Shit,” he swore softly, leading you over to the couch where he sat you down, kneeling on his knees in front of you. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, dolly.”
You shook your head, even as the tears spilled over your lash line, because it was so stupid. The whole thing was just so stupid. 
Bucky’s lips pressed against yours feverishly as he tried to kiss the tears away, covering your lips and cheeks in soft pecks. You tried pulling away, his actions only making the tears fall harder.
“Bucky, please,” you whispered hoarsely, and he pulled back to take a good look at you, his thumbs stroking your wet cheeks. He looked pained to see you in tears, which only made it harder for you to push him away.
“Y/N....”
You shook your head firmly, reaching your hands up to wrap around his wrists. “No.”
“What?”
“No,” you repeated. “I can’t do this anymore.”
Bucky looked slightly taken aback, and he dropped his hands from your face. “Do what?”
You shrugged and sniffled, gesturing between the two of you. “This... whatever this is.”
“What do you mean?”
Bucky looked genuinely confused, and it only made a sob tear through your chest. 
“It hurts too much, Buck. I can’t stand to be the one you call only when you’re bored, or horny, or frustrated after a bad date. I shouldn’t have let it get this far in the first place but I’m just so fucking stupid because I kept thinking... maybe it’ll change... maybe he’ll realize. God, Bucky, I love you so much. I would do anything for you, including bring myself to fucking ruins if it means being able to hold you and touch you, even for just a little bit. You’re hurting me, Bucky. I can’t breathe when I’m around you.”
You took in a choppy breath after you finished your small rant, squeezing your eyes shut and letting fresh tears streak your cheeks. Bucky was quiet, and you were too afraid to look at him. 
“I’m sorry,” you whispered to him with your eyes closed. 
You felt his fingers brush the tears from your jaw. “Sorry for what?”
You swallowed heavily. “Sorry for falling in love with you.”
The silence surrounding you was deafening. It was threatening to suffocate you, pounding in your ears and clawing at your throat. 
“Dolly,” Bucky whispered, and you whimpered. 
“Look at me,” he said softly, and you refused, shaking your head like a little child. “Look at me, please.”
He grabbed your face and forced your head up. You opened your eyes to find his staring back. 
“I love you, too,” he began, but you started to pull away. 
“No, no, Bucky, you’re being mean-”
“Baby, please-”
“Bucky! You love me as your friend! You love me... you love me the way you loved Steve, or the way you love Sam. I’m in love with you, Buck, to the point where I would jump off a cliff if it meant helping you, or saving you, or even making you fucking smile.”
“Listen to me!” Bucky snapped, shaking your head in his hands slightly. You ran silent, punctuating his sentence with a teary hiccup as you studied his face.
He looked more distraught than you had ever seen him. His eyes were glinting with unshed tears of his own under the soft living room lights, and his brows were creased together in worry. 
“What you don’t understand, Y/N, is that I am in love with you. And I always have been. And I... I think I always will be.”
You stared at him.
His fingers twitched against your face as you began shaking your head.
“But that... that doesn’t make any sense,” you retorted, and Bucky let out a sigh.
“I know,” he whispered, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them. “I only warned you not to fall in love because I... I wanted you to find someone better than me. Someone with less baggage. Someone who could give you the life you deserve. Not me. Never me. But I was just selfish.”
“Bucky...”
You let a teary laugh. 
He looked up at you through his lashes. 
“It’s always you. It’s always gonna be you. I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me sooner,” you cooed, bringing a hand up to brush his hair back from his forehead. 
“I was just... I was afraid you only wanted something physical, so I pretended it didn’t bother me. I just liked being near you any way I could.”
You stared at him for a moment before a genuine laugh bubbled out your throat. 
“We’re both so fucking stupid,” you said with a teary smile, tracing the shape of his lips with your fingertips. 
He smiled against your feather-light touch and let out a content sigh. 
“I love you, truly. I’m sorry I ever made you feel otherwise,” he whispered into your palm, placing a kiss to it. 
“Doesn’t matter anymore. We get a fresh start now.”
_______________
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flightlessangelwings · 6 months
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Ktober 2023 Day 15- Against a Wall
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Bucky Barnes x fem!curvy!reader
Word count- 2k
Warnings- s.mut (18+ ONLY!), reader wears a skirt and works as a waitress for Tony, described with curves but it's briefly mentioned, mutual pining, protective!Bucky, no use of y/n
Notes- I actually kept changing my mind on who to write this prompt with but I landed on Bucky lol. And the setting here is reminiscent of 2012 mcu tumblr where Bucky joined the avengers and they're all friends. And I purposefully had a curvy/plus sized reader in mine for this prompt to show some love! Prompt list made by me! Enjoy!
@flightlessangelwings-updates is myupdate blog so please follow that too and turn on post notifs to stay up to date on my new fics!
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~
Over the years of working for Tony Stark, you had seen more than your fair share of exciting things. Serving cocktails at his parties meant you had a front row seat to events that usually got splashed across headlines the following morning. Rich people flirted with you all the time, and you flirted back to get extra tips. Plus, you actually became friends with Tony over time, possibly the thing you had least expected. Even as his list of friends and party attendees grew to include otherworldly and superhuman guests.
Overall, you were able to keep your cool, even when meeting big names like Steve Rogers. He was kind and courteous, and handsome of course, but he wasn’t your type. No, your breath wasn’t taken away until his old friend, Bucky Barnes came along. Bucky was everything you had dreamed of, and when you laid eyes on him for the first time, it was as if he stepped out of your fantasy.
“Your drink, sir,” you fought to keep your composure as you handed him a glass.
“Thank you,” his low voice went right to your core as he smiled softly at you.
Bucky wasn’t much for words, but his eyes bore into you, studying your curves as if he could see into your soul. Part of you craved it, but the other part was worried he could read all your secrets, especially the one that you harbored feelings for him. He seemed to grow more and more comfortable as time went on, though, and he started to integrate more into the group. All the other guests did so too, and the more he was around, the less afraid of him they were.
Not you, though. You were never afraid of him. And it wasn’t just from your attraction to Bucky. No, there was something there that you knew you could trust. Something in him that read that he was a good person, a kind person. And though you had never exchanged more than a few words with him, sometimes you felt your gaze linger on him longer than it needed to.
Bucky noticed of course, and sometimes your eyes met for a brief moment before you looked away in embarrassment. You went back to your tasks until you felt you could safely glance back over once more. This dance went on every time Tony had a party, yet everything remained in the air, unspoken, only flirting for a couple seconds with your eyes. What you didn’t know, though, was Bucky’s gaze lingered on you for just as long, if not longer. And a feeling of jealousy built up in his gut whenever he saw others flirt with you.
One night, though, Bucky couldn’t take it anymore. He watched as you served drinks, your skirt running high up your thigh, exposing your flesh more and driving him wild. He wasn’t the only one watching, however, and a man he had never seen before stumbled over to you, draping his arm over you. When you obviously didn’t want him there, Bucky made his move.
“Please do not touch me, sir,” you said sternly but politely, trying to diffuse the situation without making a scene.
“Oh come on sweet girl,” he slurred, “Let me take you home.”
When he tried to lean in closer, the man found himself yanked off of you and instead in the grip of Bucky Banres.
“The lady said no,” Bucky’s tone was firm and low.
All the fight left the man’s eyes as he cowered, “I’m sorry,” he stammered before he wriggled free and ran off.
Bucky watched to make sure he was gone before he turned to you, “Are you alright?” he asked, his voice noticeably softer.
“Y-yeah,” your eyes went wide as you processed what just happened. Bucky Barnes just saved you, and he seemed genuinely concerned about you, “Thank you,” you added in a whisper.
Bucky brushed the back of his hand across your cheek in an affectionate gesture, “Can’t let my favorite waitress get into trouble now, can I?”
Heat rose in your face as the room spun. Was Bucky actually flirting with you? Part of you wanted to pinch yourself in case you were dreaming, but you also didn’t want to wake up if you were. “I’m your favorite waitress?” you asked slyly as you subtly shimmied your shoulders.
He cupped your chin to make you meet his eyes, “Who else would be?”
Time stopped as you met his gaze. It was different looking into his eyes up close, like you could swim in them. And you couldn’t help but glance down at his lips for the briefest moment. 
Bucky took that as his invitation, “You wanna get out of here?” he asked in a low tone.
You bit your lip, “I can’t leave the party,” you paused, hating the look of disappointment on his face, “But,” you slipped your hand into his, “I have an idea. Follow me.”
“Yes ma’am,” Bucky eagerly followed as you led him out of the main room and down a hallway. He couldn’t help but glance at your ass as you walked just in front of him. But, his breath hitched in his throat when you came to a small hall closet and quickly ushered him inside, not wanting anyone else to see.
“It’s not romantic or anything,” you sounded sheepish suddenly as you closed and locked the door, “But it’ll have to do.”
“Are you kidding?” Bucky said as he put his hands on your hips, his lips hovering over yours, “You’re dressed like this, we’re sneaking away from a party, we’re alone… I’m with you,” he exhaled sharply, “This is plenty romantic.”
You opened your mouth to say something, but it was cut off when Bucky placed his lips over yours in a soft kiss. You moaned into him as your eyes fluttered shut and you held onto his shoulders as you parted your lips for him. You felt a low rumble in his chest as he took the invitation and deepened the kiss, tasting you for the first time.
“Damn, sweetheart,” he mumbled between kisses, “You’re… Incredible,” Bucky murmured as he kissed you again, backing you up against the wall.
He swallowed the moan you let out as your back hit the wall, and you clung to him for support. Bucky gladly gave it to you, pressing his body against yours to keep you pinned there. His knee parted your legs slightly so that he could press it against your pussy, and you let out a whimper at the contact.
“Fuck,” you breathed.
“My thoughts exactly,” Bucky breathed as his hands dipped below your skirt. He paused, though, and looked back up into your eyes, “Is this ok?” he asked.
“Shit, Bucky, don’t stop now,” you huffed, “Please.”
“Fuck, I love when you say my name,” Bucky groaned as he kisse you again and tugged at your skirt, pushing it up to expose your panties.
“Bucky…” you moaned again as you clung to his shoulders.
“Do you trust me, sweetheart?” he asked.
“Yes,” your reply was immediate and your tone was more serious.
Suddenly, you found yourself in the air; Bucky grabbed onto your ass and used his super strength to lift you up and pin you against the wall. You squealed, more in surprise than anything, but let out a moan when you felt his clothed cock against your pussy.
“Please, Bucky,” you begged.
He grunted as he leaned his bodyweight forward, keeping you against the wall as he fumbled to free his cock with one hand. As much as Bucky wanted to take his time with you, he was too desperate right now. And so were you. With hope, Buck would have another chance with you, and that time he would treat you the way he wanted to. He would spend hours between your legs until you told him to stop. He would kiss you all over, worshiping your beautiful body, and feeling every dip and curve of you.
But right now, fucking you against the wall in a close would have to do. Not that either of you were complaining.
You whimpered when you glanced down and saw Bucky’s thick cock pop out against his suit. You panted as you anticipated it filling you, and you had never been more turned on in your life. Bucky murmured your name to get your attention, and the look in his eyes sent another pulse right to your cunt.
“I’m ready,” you answered the unspoken question, “Please, Buck.”
“Fuck,” he growled as he hooked a finger on your panties and pushed them aside, “Hold onto me, alright? I’ve got you.”
A loud hiss escaped your lips as he slowly pushed into you. You bit your lip to try and hold back your moans, but his cock felt so good as it entered you and you couldn’t help but cry out. Bucky groaned as he felt your warmth engulf him, and he couldn’t stop himself from thrusting the rest of the way into you.
“You ok?” he asked when he heard you whine.
“Yes,” you breathed, “Fuck me, Bucky… Please,” you tugged at his shoulder as you wrapped your legs around his waist.
Bucky growled your name as he reeled back and thrust forward again. Both of you gasped at the action, and from there Bucky lost all control. He rocked into you over and over again as you hung helplessly against the wall. Moans and groans from both of you filled the tiny space as Bucky thrust into you at the perfect angle.
“Shit,” you cried out as you slammed your head back against the wall.
“Feel so good… Sweetheart,” Bucky grunted as the room started to spin for him as well.
“Bucky…”
“I know… I’ve got you.”
He pounded into you with fervor, with desperate need as you screamed even louder. He rested his forehead against yours, feeling your breath on his face with every moan you let out. Bucky already craved more of you; he wanted to always feel you around him and in his arms. He tightened his grip on you as his thrusts became more erratic as his own climax quickly approached.
“Bucky… I’m…”
All he could do was groan your name and close his eyes. Your orgasms hit simultaneously, one right after the other. You trembled in Bucky’s arms as you came hard, and Bucky fought to keep himself upright as he spilled himself deep inside you. As he thrust into you, riding out your climaxes, Bucky took your lips with his once more in a deep and passionate kiss.
Sweat lined your brow and the sensations overwhelmed you, but you felt safe in Bucky's arms. As you started to come down from your high, you broke away for a deep breath, and you gasped as you felt yourself go more limp in his arms. Bucky immediately snapped to attention, and gently lowered you down, pulling out of you in the process.
You whimpered at the loss, but Bucky never let go of his grip on you, even as he settled you back on your feet. Your eyes trailed up from the ground as you met his gaze, and your heart skipped a beat from the way he looked at you.
“That was… Wow,” you whispered as you composed yourself and fixed your skirt, “Better than I ever imagined,” you muttered under your breath.
Bucky tucked himself back in his pants and straightened out his jacket, “So,” he smirked, “You imagined me?”
You looked at him wide-eyed, “I- I didn’t mean…”
“It’s ok sweetheart,” he cupped your face, “Can you keep a secret?” when you nodded he continued, “I imagined you too.”
You exhaled deeply as you leaned into his touch. You allowed him to slowly pull your face to his and parted your lips as Bucky kissed you once more. This kiss was slow, yet deep, and it helped all the unspoken emotions you both felt. When you broke away you let out another deep breath, “Tony is going to have a field day with this,” you said with a laugh.
“I’m by your side,” Bucky reassured you after joining your laughter, “Shall we?”
Swallowing hard, you nodded, “Let’s go,” you slid your hand in his and opened the door to your futures.
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way2geeky · 1 year
Text
Deserve - Bucky Barnes x reader.
warnings - talk of ptsd, tooth rotting fluff
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The whole team walks through the door exasperated. Were all exhausted and we just want two things food, and sleep. Bucky and I walk hand in hand, I was worried about him the whole mission. We were taking care of a Hydra base, and everyone had to go. He kept a strong face, but I know it hurts. As understandable as that is the anger, I felt for him was explosive. He is the love of my life and having to watch him go through that was almost torture.
I stopped us, before we entered the kitchen to meet up with everyone. "Bucky, I am so proud of you I know what was unbelievably horrible." I said enveloping him in a bear crushing hug. He held me like his life depended on it. He brought me off of the ground, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He completely ignored the kitchen going straight for our room.
He sat me down and he got changed out of his uniform, only having the strength to take off his uniform leaving him in his boxers. I get out of my uniform just putting on some sweatpants and one of his shirts. He smiled sadly at me, bringing me in by my waist to hug me again. His hands sneak up my shirt slightly, gliding up my back slowly. I walked to the bed and grabbed some blankets and pillows and laid them down on the floor.
Bringing him down with me, tucking him in slightly. He laid on his back and just stared at me lovingly. "Baby, you don't have to." He rasped out grabbing my forearms lightly. "We are a team, if you can't sleep on a bed than I won't. You're not alone, I love you more than anything. Now get some sleep, you must be exhausted." I finish kissing him lightly between the eyes, his fluttering shut. "I don't deserve you." He whispered, "You deserve more, good night baby." I whispered back nuzzling into him.
*Bucky Pov*
I open my eyes looking up at the high ceiling. I never thought I would have been put into this position. When I got out of Hydra, I assumed that I would have been thrown into some far corner of the Earth never to come out. I would bever thought I would join another team, one that are actual heroes. I sure as hell didn't think I would have found her. She is the definition of hero. She saved me the first day I met her. I swear that girl is made from sugar. I look down, she is nuzzled on my chest. Trying to gain as much warmth as possible. She always runs cold, so being on the floor must be freezing for her.
She doesn't deserve this; she deserves a warm bed at least. She deserves to be warm; she deserves not to have a boyfriend that can sleep in a bed at least. I set her aside gradually, getting up and picking her up lightly. She stirs slightly her cute brows etch closer together. "Honey?" She asked still practically asleep, "Hush, sugar go back to sleep." "You, ok?" she slurs out wrapping her arms around my neck. "Perfect baby, go back to sleep." She eased back to sleep as I set her down on the bed lightly. Covering her in the blankets.
She burrowed herself onto the pillows, as I get in the other side. This isn't easy for me. I have been sleeping on concrete for half a century. I have been trying to when Y/n is away so I could get comfortable sleeping on the bed with her. So that way she is more comfortable, she won't say it, but I know she is getting back problems because of it. I am only burdening her with sleeping on the floor. If I can go back to a Hydra base, I can do this. For her I can do this. I lay stiff at first trying to Remember how you lay on a bed comfortably.
I soon find a nice position; I was on my side my arm under the pillow the other holding onto Y/n firmly. It was almost like she grounded me from any discomfort. I close my eyes, and I can't believe it, but I actually fall asleep.
*Y/n Pov*
The sun falls through the curtains shining me in the eyes lightly waking me. I am engulfed in warmth a nice change of pace. I am on a comfortable mattress, and bucky has a firm hold on me. Were in a bed. Bucky put us on the bed. I turn as gradually to check if he is asleep. He is. He is asleep. Hes comfortable here. He is comfortable with me. I have never seen him so deep in sleep before he looks so comfortable. I start to cry, I can't help it, but I am just so damn proud of him. He is in a bed, by choice, in a very deep sleep. I hold the side of his face lightly tracing his cheeks, That are mushed by the pillow.
I breathe in a staggered breath trying to be quiet, it didn't work he opened his eyes immediately. "Sugar what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I didn't answer, I just move around to lay on his chest holding him tightly. "Y/n? Why are you crying? I'll kill them just give me a name sweetheart." "You're in the bed." I say looking down on him, "You're in the bed and you were asleep." He gave me a sheepish smile, "I'm so proud of you." I say kissing him passionately. "Did you have any nightmares, were you comfortable, are you ok?" It all comes out on one breathe, he has both hands on my face and traces my cheeks lightly. "Breathe baby, I had no nightmares, I just wanted you be more comfortable, and I was ready to get on the bed. It's all because of you sugar, you ground me." "I'm so happy honey, are you hungry, or do you want to sleep more?" "I could go for a bite; I might need to get dressed though." "No, you get some more sleep. I'll get breakfast ready; we'll eat in here." I kiss him, one more time mumbling I love you, leaving with a kick in my step and a huge smile on my face.
*Bucky Pov*
women are too good for me. "God, please let me keep her. I don't think I could live without her." I mumble turning back trying to get back to sleep.
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jessybarnes · 1 year
Text
Hold You Close
Title: Hold You Close
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 538
Tags: Angst, fluff, nightmares, mentions of killing, mentions of weapons, cuddling, and I think that's it.
Written For: @comfortember
Day 6: Exhaustion
Beta(s): None
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Kill.
Destroy.
Obey.
It's all he knows, the only things he can think about. The anger flows through him like the blood in his veins. It didn't matter if they're a man or woman. It didn't matter where they came from. If they've wronged Hydra, then he'll be tasked to eliminate them.
He's been given a new mission, one of the newest Avengers, and he's told to report confirmation of death in ten hours. His body moves on its own accord. There's nothing he can do about it. No matter how hard he fights back, the Winter Soldier is stronger.
He's forced to sit back and watch through the eyes of a monster. The same ones that are now menacingly locked on their target, assault rifle raised and ready to take the life of the one person he can't live without.
You.
Bucky shoots up in bed, his chest heaving and his sheets soaked in cold sweat. It takes him a few seconds to figure out where he is, and once he does, he sighs.
He knows he shouldn't, but he won't be able to calm down until he knows you're safe.
As quietly as he can, he pads across the hall and opens the door to your room. He shuts it behind him softly and smiles at the sight of you.
You're laying on your stomach, facing him with one leg bent and snoring lightly. As carefully as he can, he sits on the side of your bed and just watches you breathe.
You look so peaceful like this, and he can't help but reach out and smooth the hair out of your face. He regrets it immediately because you stretch and blink your eyes open, confusion etched on your pretty face.
"Bucky?"
"I'm sorry, doll. I didn't mean to wake you...I..." He shakes his head and stands up, "I should go..."
You frown and sit up, your hand reaching out to grab his. "You had another nightmare, didn't you?" He doesn't say anything so you continue, "Buck? ...You can talk to me, you know? I...I won't tell anyone..."
He finally turns around and you take note of the bags under his eyes. He looks exhausted, and you don't even think twice about your next decision. Your hand pats the empty space next to you and you look up at him hopefully.
"Lay with me? Please?"
"Y/N...I... I shouldn't. Sometimes I can't control myself when I sleep and if I hurt you I'd never be able to forg-"
"You won't hurt me, James. I trust you. Now, come here," you lift the covers a little and he bites his lip, "please?"
He swallows and slides in next to you, making sure to keep his distance. You're having none of it though and pull him close to you, your legs tangling together and your arms wrapping around him snugly.
He's hesitant at first, but soon he nuzzles into the crook of your neck and hums happily.
"Thank you, I...I needed this."
You lightly scratch his scalp and rest your head on top of his, "don't thank me, Bucky. Just sleep, okay?"
He sighs and lets himself relax in your arms.
"I'll be here when you wake up."
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ceo-of-daichi · 1 year
Note
my love, my love lydz. hope this email finds you well 😭 cause if you would write "brushing their arm against the other's, hoping the other would finally catch their arm and hold it close" with bucky i know I this email will not find me well. wish you the best (wishing you daichi) love you and have a nice day
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Characters | James ‘Bucky’ Barnes x GN!Reader
WC | 500+
A/N | VIKTOR!! Thank you for requesting! I haven’t written Bucky in so long so it was really nice to write for him again🥺 I hope you enjoy this and it makes you very soft!
Prompts | “Brushing their arm against the other’s, hoping the other would finally catch their arm and hold it close”
Tip-Jar☕️ | Navi | Marvel Masterlist
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Ever since Bucky met you, quite by accident, he wished that he could move whatever it was between you both along. He wished for more. Desperately even, he craved it.
Yet he couldn’t seem to get past his anxiety about himself. It had been just under a year since things went atomic with the Avengers, he’d lost his best friend and gained a family in Sam and Sarah.
It was hard to adjust back to normal and he was struggling, until he met you.
You so effortlessly allowed him into your life. You knew who he was, despite his efforts to hide it at first, but you didn’t care. Which still baffles him today.
The bookshop was quiet, he noted as he pushed the rustic door open, heavy to most but light as a feather for him. Although it had become more of a burden recently, knowing what was on the other side, it made him nervous.
He spotted you almost immediately, stood where you usually were, your eyes engrossed in whatever was on the pages. He watched as your hand went to tuck a stray curl, which was clearly tickling your face, back into the bulk of your hair.
So effortlessly beautiful.
“James!” You exclaimed excitedly as you noticed him finally, putting the book you were previously immersed in back onto the shelf. His heart always warmed at the sound of his birth name rolling off your tongue, you were the only person who called him that.
And so your usual Sunday walk began. He matched your pace as you headed out towards the park, falling into comfortable conversation as the journey progressed.
Every Sunday, Bucky had the same debate in his head as you both walked.
He wondered what your hand would feel like interlaced with his own. Would you have slightly cold hands? Would they feel soft against his battle worn skin? Would you be okay holding his metal hand? Or would you repel at the thought.
As he was lost in his head, he noticed you were watching him. No longer rambling about your week as your eyes focused on his.
“How come you still hide from me James?” You ask softly, your hand reaching out to his leather glove clad metal arm. This left him speechless, he wouldn’t say he was hiding from you in particular. But he would be lying if he said he wasn’t hiding it from other people.
Your hand ran over the glove as you looked to him for approval, he swallowed thickly before sending you a small nod. Allowing you to remove the barrier between his past and present.
He watched you intently as you pocketed his glove, letting his metal arm fall back to his side. Sending him a wide smile before you carried on walking.
He found himself quickly missing your touch, despite not actually being able to feel it, he knew you were holding him and that's what mattered.
So as you continued your story from the week, he couldn’t help but feel so drawn towards you that he ended up drifting closer and closer. His arm eventually brushed against your own and without thinking you wound your arm around his, taking his hand into yours.
Bucky sighed in relief at the weight of your hand in his metal one. Wondering if you found it cold? If you would rather hold his right hand? But the smile you sent him, made all his fears dissipate almost immediately.
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Drabble Taglist (Marvel) | @gemini-writes @hannas16 @tetsukentona @theroosterswife24
If you want to be added to one of my taglists, feel free to fill out this form!!
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bxwitched · 1 year
Text
Avenging Angel 
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Warnings: 18+ only. Dark themes, stalking, mentions of injuries, swearing, abusive relationship, domestic violence, alcoholism, attempted sexual assault, attempted rape, violence, hurt.
Character Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 2.3K
Summary: Bucky tries to lay low whilst in Bucharest but finds that he can't ignore a woman in need.
A/N: I found this in my drafts from years ago and had to finish it. Please heed the warnings above, this one is dark. Comments, reblogs and likes are appreciated! You can find my masterlist here.
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He watches as you weave through the bustling market, head down and eyes lowered, your pretty face shrouded by your hair.
You flit from stall to stall, buying your usual groceries but he notices the change in you. Today you don’t smile at the young man as he bashfully hands over your vegetables, nor do you ask the elderly woman who sells eggs how her husband is faring with his ill-health.
You’re unusually quiet, only exchanging the necessary amount of words before moving on to buy the next item on your list. 
It's only when you reach out to take the bag of plums you've purchased that he sees it, the set of greenish fingerprints encompassing your left wrist, peeking out from under the sleeve of your jacket.
He isn’t the only one who notices the bruises, the seller's gaze falls on the marks as you take the fruit from her and her eyes fill with pity. You hand over a few coins and mumble a 'thank you' as you leave quickly. 
He trails behind you at a safe distance, hiding in plain sight as he weaves through the crowds. You turn off down a narrow side street and he follows, the heels of your boots clack loudly against the cobblestones and you pull your jacket tighter around you, the mid-Autumn chill seeps into your skin and it makes you shiver.
Your pace slows as you reach the end of your street, your spine straightening and shoulders tensing as you feel the familiar stare boring into your back. Your fingers twitch around the handles of your bag and you grip the cloth tighter in your fist.
At first you'd thought that it was just paranoia, that your tired mind was imagining things, using all of your pent up fear against you.
You'd had the feeling that you were being watched for weeks now, you had told yourself that it wasn't real and you tried to ignore the feeling each time it arose.
But then you had caught a glimpse of someone in the reflection of the bakery window, a dark figure highlighted in the rain-spattered glass. Someone had been following you home from your shift at the cafe but when you had turned around no one was there.
You had changed your route home several times since that evening but each time the feeling remained, the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end as your body sensed the danger that you couldn't see.
You hurry to the entrance of your building and let yourself in quickly, your hand shaking as you slip you keys into the lock and push open the heavy door. You close it behind you firmly and hurry up the stairs to your floor, throwing Mrs Stan a polite greeting as you pass her on the third floor landing.
You slip into your apartment quickly and latch the door behind you, wiggling it twice to check that the bolt is secured in place. Mr Stan, despite his old age, had been kind enough to offer to install a new one for you after it had been broken in the incident the week before.
You pack away your groceries in your small kitchen and set the kettle onto the stove top to boil, intent on making yourself a cup of tea to calm your frazzled nerves.
You take careful sips of the hot drink as you settle down into the sofa and clutch the steaming mug between your palms. Your whole body sags as the adrenaline in your blood wanes and the familiar warmth settles in your chest.
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Bucky watches as you move around you apartment from the window of his in the building opposite. You flitter in and out of view several times, putting things away before you finally settle down on the couch, sipping from a plain white mug.
Your body relaxes gradually, sinking down further and further while your eyes droop until finally, you fall asleep.
He feels a pang of guilt in his chest as he studies your sleeping form. He'd been careful, had used all of his honed stealth skills to ensure that you remained unaware of his presence but then one evening he'd made a mistake.
He'd watched you from afar for most of afternoon as you waitressed at the small cafe on the corner, you looked happy as you served patrons with a smile and laughed with your regulars.
You had been conversing with a young woman with a baby, your smile bright as you cooed at the small child in her arms and Bucky couldn't deny the warm feeling that settled in his belly at the sight.
And then it had all shattered in an instant.
You had startled as the man stormed through the cafe door, stumbling slightly as he moved towards you and wrapped a hand around your wrist.
He couldn't hear what you were saying from where he was positioned but he could read your lips through the glass, could see the pained expression on your face as the taller man gripped your delicate flesh in his meaty palm.
You knew him well, he could see that from the way that you were trying to placate him, urging him to lower his voice as he had shouted at you and frightened your customers.
He was clearly drunk as he swayed slightly on his feet and Bucky had to stop himself from acting on instinct when the man dragged you outside and around the side of the old building where he backed you into the brick wall.
He watched, fist clenched, knuckles white and his blunt nails digging into the meat of his palm as the other man spat cruel words in your face and loomed over you. You shrank in on yourself submissively, apologising profusely as tears tracked down your cheeks.
And then he'd growled and pressed against you, smothering your body with his huge frame as he covered your mouth with his, slathering you with sloppy kisses whilst his hands groped at your flesh.
He could see the panic in your eyes as you had pressed your hands to the large man's chest, Andrei you'd called him, desperately trying to push him off of you.
Finally the man had relented, stroking over the column of your throat threateningly before he stumbled away, leaving you shaky and tearful as you tried to catch your breath.
He had followed you home that evening, wanting to make sure that you reached your apartment safely after the earlier encounter. He had been distracted, his heart full of guilt at not having acted, his mind conflicted. It happened in the flash of a second, he hadn't meant for you to see him but you had and then it was too late.
He knew that it was wrong but he couldn't help himself, not after he'd been witness to the incident a few days before.
He'd seen the whole scene play out from his spot at his window, he was cleaning his gun when he heard your screaming with his enhanced hearing and looked up right as Andrei had burst through your front door, yelling incoherently as he made a path straight for you.
He was drunk then too, his words slurring as he had forced himself onto you, his hands pulling at your clothes as you protested. Andrei had backhanded you across the cheek then and you had stumbled backwards, you had stared at the man in shock as your hand cradled the reddening skin.
Evidently, it was the first time that he'd ever hit you. Andrei too even looked surprised at his actions, his brow furrowed as he muttered a weak apology and tried to grab a hold of you once more. The police had arrived then and swiftly took him away once they saw your bruised face and frightened expression, one of your neighbours had called them as soon as they had heard the commotion.
He knows that it's none of his business, that he should leave you alone, he feels awful for causing you so much distress, for the unease in your features and the tension in your body but unbeknownst to you he's made a promise to you. He won't, can't let it happen to you again.
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You startle awake, it's late, it's dark outside and there's a loud hammering on your door. You whole body tenses when his angry words slur through the thin wood, it's Andrei and he's drunk.
You take a deep breath as you walk over to the door and place your palms against it, you refuse to let him in but you really don't want him to linger in the hallway again and continue to disturb your neighbours.
"Go home, Andrei. You can't be here, it's late." Your voice is quiet, weak. His fist slams against the door and you jump back as it rattles harshly on the hinges.
"I want you dragă. Open the fucking door!"
"No!" He hits the door again and the metal bolt whines from the force of it, fear begins to flood your veins as you back away towards your bag, knowing that you need to grab your phone and call the police.
The banging stops and you breathe a sigh of relief, you figure that he has given up and decided to go home and sleep it off but then there's a crash as the door flings open and smacks against the wall. He stands tall in the open frame with a furious expression.
He steps over the threshold and throws it shut behind him, breathing heavily and you freeze as your blood runs cold.
You turn on your heel and dart towards the kitchen, intent on grabbing a knife to protect yourself but he anticipates the movement, despite his drunken state he's quick and he catches you with a strong arm around your middle.
He starts dragging you backwards towards your bedroom and you throw an elbow back into his gut, partially escaping his grip as he grunts in pain. He manages to grasp a hold of your hair and tugs you back, retorting with a blow to your cheek that leaves you dizzy and struggling to focus. The world around you spins painfully.
"You got me arrested you fucking bitch." His tone is venomous, he's nothing like the Andrei you once loved, the Andrei before the drink.
You feel him move you and when your mind finally realigns he already has you on your back on the bed. He's pushed up your shirt, exposing your midriff and bra-covered breasts to the cold night air and his fingers work clumsily on undoing your jeans, the alcohol in his system causes his fingers to slip against the metal buttons and he mutters curses under his breath.
He growls as he slips the last one free and wrenches the denim down harshly over the skin of your hips and ass. You kick out blindly in panic, successfully catching your knee against his jaw and as he recoils in pain you take the opportunity to try to scramble away.
You scream as he catches your ankle in a bruising grip, his blunt nails dig harshly into your soft skin and you sob as he drags you back down. He pushes your still denim-clad legs down in to your chest and flattens his body on top of you, pinning you down with his weight.
"Andrei! please, stop-"
"Quiet!" He clamps one of his large palms over your mouth and you whimper against the rough skin of his palm. His free hand grabs at your underwear, trying to work it over your hips and ass as you struggle against him.
It had all happened so fast after his mother's death six months prior, he had been close to her as his only family and despite your pleading he had turned to alcohol to quell his grief. He thought that it would console him but instead it had transformed him from a warm, caring man into a monster.
You pray that the police will arrive soon, that one of your neighbours has heard the commotion and called them. That they will finally listen to you and take him far away, that they lock him up so that he won't be able to hurt you anymore.
His weight disappears from you in an instant and you sob in relief. Andrei sputters and kicks as a man suspends him by his throat, choking the life out of your abuser with unadulterated rage in his blue eyes.
They soften when they focus on you, concern written on his features.
"Are you okay?" His voice is gruff and you nod back at him, not trusting your voice. Your affirmation must be unconvincing because the unknown man's brows furrow downwards and he glares at Andrei once more.
He throws Andrei backwards with an inhuman strength and you gasp as your former lover collides with the wall, rendering him unconscious as a cloud of plaster falls around him.
Your breath comes in pants as you try to steady your frantic heartbeat and your eyes move over your saviour's form. There's something about his large frame, his long dark hair and ocean eyes that feels familiar.
You can't place if you've seen him before, where you've seen him before but then you think back to the reflection in the bakery window. "You're the one that's been following me, aren't you?" He nods hesitantly and you think that's he ashamed as his eyes cast downwards, the muscle in his cheek twitching as he clenches his jaw.
"Thank you." His eyes widen in surprise and his lips part slightly, you're looking at him with tears in your eyes and gratitude clear on your face.
"Thank you-" Your voice trails off in a silent question and he answers it without missing a beat.
"Bucky. My name is Bucky."
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missvelvetsstuff · 1 year
Text
With Friends Like You, Who Needs Enemies
Steve Rogers x Reader, Steve x Natasha, Reader x Bruce, Bucky Barnes x Reader
Chapter 3
Warnings: swearing, angst, brief smut,
Bucky ran, looking for Y/N, following her scent, until he passed one hill sighting a large cloud of blue and headed towards it. She was curled up on the ground while Bruce rubbed her back.
Bucky slowed down as he approached them and Bruce looked up, tears streaming down his face. Bucky stopped unsure of what to do and waited for her crying to calm.
Y/N looked up and saw him standing awkwardly. She moved to sit up. "Did you know? Bucky, did you know that Steve was....." She couldn't say it.
Bucky quickly shook his head "No, Y/N no, I didn't know. I would have told you. And kicked his ass"
She let out a tiny laugh and tried to smile at him before her face crumpled and she had to take deep breaths to keep the sobs back. "He's been really distant since Germany. I knew fighting with his friends took a toll and I tried to help him but he kept pushing me away. If I could have-"
Bucky stopped her "Don't doll. Don't blame yourself, you didn't do anything wrong. Nothing you could have done or not done would explain or excuse this. I don't know what he was thinking but that's on him not you." He scooted closer "Is it ok if I sit with you? I can leave if you want"
She nodded "Come grab some dirt. We're mostly just crying and some bashing"
Bruce chuckled "The bashing will ramp up when the tears run out." He wiped his face "You know she bent over backward trying to convince me to give a relationship a try? I had given up on romance after my accident, didn't think getting, uh, excited would be uh safe but she pushed so I thought maybe it could work. Now I know she was with him, even back then. And never stopped, even when I was at the same party, she just... I loved her" he started crying again.
Y/N rubbed his back gently "I know Bruce. They both did but we'll be ok. I'm here for you. And so is Bucky" she nodded at him.
"Yeah" Bucky sighed "I'm here, pal."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At the party, Thor was immensely displeased at the developments
"ROGERS!" He roared "How dare you do something so vile and dishonorable to sweet Lady Y/N? And you, Romanoff!" He spat "Do you not profess to be friends with the Lady? Such an act of disloyalty should be beneath both of you." Thor paced to calm his temper and stopped in front of them. "Out."
Steve and Nat looked at him wide eyed, Steve tried to argue "But, Thor-"
"I. Said. OUT! Get out of here before I do something you'll regret! Out of my sight. Out of my celebration! Out of New Asgard!" He roared
Steve and Nat looked at the crowd that had gathered and saw that no one would speak up for them, most had anger and disgust in their eyes, and quickly scurried off.
Sam shook his head "What the hell were they thinking? I hope Y/N and Bruce are alright"
Tony cocked his head "Do you think we should go look for them, make sure they're ok?"
Sam shook his head "Nah, Bucky went after them. Well after her. He's in deep."
Tony smirked "Yeah, I saw him following her around with heart eyes, like a sad puppy."
Thor faced the crowd "Please accept my apologies for the disturbance but, as you can see the trash has been taken out and the sun has not yet risen so the revels must continue." He raised his cup and the crowd roared in approval before moving back towards the festivities.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Steve and Nat started arguing as they left "Thanks a lot Romanoff, I told you it was over but you just had to have one more go. Now Y/N and Bruce are gone and everyone else is pissed at us." He snapped at her.
Nat scoffed "I didn't hear you trying to stop me from pulling your cock out. 'Oh I'll never give this pussy up'" she mocked "I tried to end it when you started seeing her but you insisted we keep it going, fucking begged me, so you didn't get too aggressive with her. Your perfect little almost virgin"
Steve snarled "What the fuck do you mean by that, Natasha?"
Nat laughed "You are really deluded, Rogers. You know she's no virgin. Strucker probably fucked her six ways from Sunday. But you put her up on a pedestal like she was perfect while berating her naivete and forcing her to suppress her powers. You're a fucking control freak"
"Get off your fucking high horse, Nat. You could have told me no but you fucked your so called besties boyfriend for years."
He stopped "I'm not doing this with you. I have to figure out how to get her back and-"
Nat laughed so hard she almost fell over "Oh my god, you think you still have any kind of chance with her? Did you see the look on her face? Did you see how Bucky was looking at her? She's gone, you'll never get her back after what she heard."
Steve grabbed her by the throat and slammed her up against a building, tears streaming down his face "Don't fucking say that bitch" he pushed her down to the ground and pulled himself out, already hard and slammed into Nat as she smirked and wrapped her legs around him.
~~~~~
After Y/N and Bruce ran out of tears and their voices were fading from cursing their now ex's, they were finally spent. She could barely stand herself up and yelped when Bucky picked her up bridal style "Don't worry doll, I've got you. I'm gonna take you to my room. You can have the bed and I'll take the couch"
"No Bucky I don't want to take your bed. I have a house-" she stopped, remembering the other bedroom in her quarters was Nats and the tears started to well up again.
Bucky soothed her "Hey, hey, hey don't cry. It's fine doll, beds are too soft for me anyhow. I don't want to leave you alone." He stopped, remembering Bruce was there too and turned to him "You can come too if-"
Bruce held his hand up "No it's fine. I think I need to be alone for awhile. Thank you Y/N for keeping me calm. And you too Bucky, for....everything." And walked off into the night.
Y/N watched him go. "Do you think he'll be ok?"
Bucky nodded "Yeah, eventually. You both will. Let's get you to bed" he blushed "I I I mean so you can sleep and-"
She giggled "It's ok Bucky I knew what you meant." and rested her head on his chest as he began walking "I'm pretty tired. On top of everything else."
She was almost asleep when they reached his room. He set her gently on the bed and grabbed one of his clean t-shirts
"Y/N? Hey doll, here's a shirt to change into"
she took the shirt and started changing right in front of him. He gasped when he realized, closed his eyes and quickly turned around. She didn't even realize what she was doing, handed him her dirty robes and curled up on his bed.
Bucky just stared, enamored with how she looked in his shirt, on his bed. He shook his head to clear it, pulled the blanket over her, gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead and turned to leave. Only to find out she wouldn't let go of his hand.
"Please don't go Bucky. I don't want to be alone. I've felt so alone for so long." She took a deep breath "You know, I remember thinking how lucky I was when St- when they saved me. I was 20 something and had been with Strucker for over 10 years. I knew nothing about relationships, real ones I mean and they took me in, told me they loved me, taught me about the world. As time passed, I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world to find a man that would love me and was willing to wait for me" she felt her face flush "You know, sexually" she whispered as her tears started again "but he was patient because he had someone else to fuck. Someone who claimed to be my friend. Called me sister.
I must have done something really awful in a past life to deserve this."
Bucky wiped her tears "No, honey, you don't deserve any of this. I dont know what is wrong with them but it's not your fault. Please don't blame yourself. The only thing you did wrong was trust people that everyone thought you could trust but we were all wrong."
She pulled him towards her and mumbled "Please stay"
Bucky knew this might end badly but couldn't bring himself to tell her no. He turned the light off, took off his pants and shoes then curled up behind her. He noticed she was just barely humming and a soft colorful mist enveloped them as they both fell asleep.
Chapter 4
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breakablebarnes · 2 years
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What Happens Next? | Broke College Kids - chapter two
BROKE COLLEGE KIDS AU ➵ series masterlist & playlist
Thank you @mickeyhenrys for the header 🤍
pairing: shy!college!bucky x female!college!reader
words: 2.8k
warnings: MINORS DNI, 18+ ONLY, smut, dirty talk, fingering (fem receiving), hand job, p in v sex, little bit of a hand kink, oral fixation, hints at a dom/sub relationship, swearing, mentions of drinking, little bit of jealous Bucky, mentions of sex, reader smoking/vaping, reader having commitment issues due to a previous bad relationship, some angst, overthinking reader, hints towards a past abusive relationship
summary: After the events at the bar that night, you and Bucky decide to have a discussion about what happens next. But not before round two.
a/n: It has been quite some time since the first part, eh? I have this anxious fear of disappointing people that causes me to procrastinate soooo... yeah! But hopefully you enjoy this part! I enjoyed writing it.
MASTERLIST | KO-FI | REQUESTS | LIBRARY
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Everyone planned to leave the bar in Ubers considering everyone’s inebriated state. Tasha ordered an Uber and you all stood outside of Fury’s waiting for the driver to arrive. The bar was beginning to close as people continued to pile out onto the sidewalk outside. You still felt high from the euphoria of the events in the bathroom as Bucky appeared out of the bar as you began to hit your disposable vape. He smiled at you, his cheeks slightly tinting pink. You smiled to yourself, loving the effect that you had on him. His attention turned to Steve and Sam as they came out of the bar.
“Well?” Nat asked, suddenly beside you and poking your side.
You gasped and turned toward the red head, just to be greeted with your other favorite red head right behind her. “Well?” Wanda asked, peering over Nat’s shoulder.
You blew smoke out of your nose, raising an eyebrow. “Well?” You said back to them, making them each roll their eyes.
“Well,” Tasha began. “It’s pretty obvious something happened between you and Barnes. So, deets.”
You grinned, looking over to the man in question. He was involved with the conversation at hand and didn’t look at you. “Let’s just say,” You said, turning your eyes back to theirs. “He is definitely not a prude.”
The two girls hit your arm and squealed out and you cursed at them to stop before Bucky’s attention was drawn over. You could only imagine how embarrassed he would be to realize you were over there talking about him. Not that he wouldn’t like the idea of you wanting to talk about him.
You looked around, noticing MJ and Peter still hadn’t made it out of the bar. Actually, you were pretty sure that you hadn’t seen them since they were going into the bathroom themselves.
“Where are MJ and Peter?” You asked, taking another hit, your eyes drawing to the way the end of the stick lit up different colors.
Wanda looked around. “I think they left together a while ago.”
Nat raised her eyebrows. She said, “Wonder where those lovebirds went.”
You smirked. “I may have some insight into that.”
“What?” Nat and Wanda asked at the same time, their eyes almost bulging from their heads.
“Well, they were making out in the hallway outside the bathroom and then they went in so…” You started.
“Oh. My. God.” Wanda said, grabbing you and Nat’s arms for support. “All of these lovers finally getting together.”
Your eyes shot up at that. “Together?”
Wanda realized her mistake as soon as she said it. She knew that you had the biggest commitment issues imaginable, and now she had put that idea in your head – together.
Your mind began to spiral down a dark, deep rabbit hole. Did Bucky think we were together now? Did everyone? Did he want to be together-together with you? Or just fuck you?
Nat, seeing your inward spiral all over your face, put a hand on your shoulder to ground you. “Hey,” she said, making you look over to her. “Wanda just meant that you two have had some sexual tension going for a while and so have MJ and Peter. Just because you two had sex does not a relationship make.”
There was another trigger word – relationship. Your last one had left you with much more than just a bad taste in your mouth.
Before you could spiral too far, Tasha got a ping on her phone. “Uber is here!” She yelled out. Clint suddenly came out of the bar and began to lock the front door. “See you next time, Barton!”
Clint waved and said goodbye to us all before going back inside to continue closing.
“No goodbye for me?” A sultry, English voice spoke up from beside you, making you jump.
“Oh my God, Loki!” You yelled, clutching your chest. “Don’t do that shit!” You punched him in the arm.
Loki was carrying two trash bags, presumably going to take them to the dumpster just to the right of the bar. Loki smirked at you before saying, “Sorry, my lady. Have you happened to see my brother?”
Wanda spoke up from beside you. “He left with some girl. Jane, I think.”
“Okay, thanks. You all have a safe trip home!” Loki said, squeezing your arm before heading off to take care of the trash.
“Thanks, Loks!” You and the other girls said in unison before hoping into the Uber.
Despite getting an Uber XL, it was still somewhat of a tight fit for all of you. Wanda, Vision, and Sam sat on the first row. Which left you, Bucky, Steve, and Nat on the back row. Nat opted to sit in Steve’s lap for more room. You sat in the outer edge so that you could see out of the window, which was of course right next to Bucky.
Your focus was out of the window as you tried not to focus on the tight space. Bucky knew you were claustrophobic, so he was scooted farther over towards Nat and Steve to give you some space in the tight confines of the back row of the vehicle. He was staring straight ahead.
You turned to look at him, but he didn’t look at you. You poked his thigh. “Hey, you alright?”
He sighed heavily. “Great.”
You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at his face. He looked pissed. “You sure about that, Buck?”
He turned to you and plastered a smile on his face. “I’m fine, doll.”
You squinted your eyes. “Pinky promise?” You asked, still a little tipsy, holding your pinky up.
He tried to stifle a grin, but he failed. He reached up and linked his pinky with yours. “I promise I’m alright. It’s just…”
“It’s just?”
He sighed and looked down. “Well, it’s just… I couldn’t help being a little jealous.”
You made him look up at you by placing your finger under his chin. “Of?”
“You and Loki.”
“Me and Loki?” You said, a little too loud, causing everyone to look at you two for a moment.
Bucky placed a hand on your upper thigh. “Just something about the way he looked at you. I didn’t like it.”
You smirked a little. “Yeah? What do you wanna do about it?”
He looked around before leaning in and whispering into your ear. “When we get home, I want to throw you on the bed and remind you who had you moaning just a few hours ago. You won’t even remember his name.”
You felt chills go down your spine and a wetness pooling. It was probably soaking through your favorite dress considering that Bucky still had your lace panties in his pocket.
The rest of the ride home, you were squirming in your seat as Bucky had his hand wrapped around your inner thigh, being so close to where you wanted him to touch you, yet so far at the same time. Even though the two of you had already had sex just hours before, you were ready to go again. Obviously, so was Bucky.
You had something nagging at the back of your brain though. Why was Bucky jealous? Was it just because you two had just had sex? Or was there more to it?
You all finally arrived at the boys’ apartment. Wanda and Vision said they would be heading home from there. They didn’t live too far away, so they opted to walk. The rest of you went upstairs. Sam went ahead to the couch, assuming that you would be joining Bucky this time rather than him. 
You walked into Bucky’s room and before you could even get your barings, he grabbed you and threw you down on his bed.
You laughed and yelled, “Bucky!”
He was just smiling as he discarded of his red jacket, followed by his shirt. He leaned over you on the bed and pulled at the hem of your dress. “I wanna see you this time.”
Your heart couldn’t help but jump at his words. You nodded at him as he pulled your dress from over your head to find you completely naked beneath. You had chosen not to wear a bra based on the type of dress you had on, and obviously Bucky still had your underwear.
He looked over your form for a moment, taking in everything that his eyes could. He wanted to remember every inch of you.
You whined, “Bucky…”
You sat up and grabbed him by his belt loops, pulling him on top of you with a thud. He laughed and you joined him before he cut you off with a kiss. His tongue explored your mouth as you reached down to unbutton his jeans. He helped, finishing taking both his pants and boxers off and throwing them somewhere across the room.
He began to kiss down your neck and you moaned as you felt his hard length against your inner thigh. You didn’t really get to see him early either. You admired his abs as they tightened, flexing his arm to hold himself above you. You trace the vein that rain down his arm before you find his hand. You run your fingers along the many ridges and that one vein coming from his arm.
You felt how big he was before at the bar, but now you could see it. You weren’t quite sure how it fit the first time, but you knew that the stretch felt astounding. You run your hand down his abs as he continues his assault on your neck and collarbone. You reach that “V” line around his hips and trace along there as well. You feel him shiver as your hand gets closer to where he wants you the most.
You wrap a hand around his large cock, running your thumb over the tip as precum leaks out. He groans against you before moving you both to your sides so you both can have better access. You began to pump him as he pulled away to look into your eyes. His jaw dropped, muttering out, “Fuck, doll.”
His hand cupped your mound and you gasped, continuing to pump him, slowly getting faster. He circled your clit with his thumb, making you whimper. Still with his thumb moving in circles, one of his digits entered you. You felt sore from earlier, but the pleasure surmounted it.
Bucky’s jaw stayed slack as he watched your face. The two of you working the other, making each other a panting and moaning mess. You gripped Bucky’s arm with your free hand. “Bucky, I need you.” You panted out.
He stopped his movements and pulled his fingers out from you. He popped his fingers in his mouth, pulling them out with spit dangling between his mouth and his fingers. “Fuck,” You breathed out before grabbing his face and pulling him to you. You could taste yourself on his tongue and it made you even wetter.
He pushed his way on top of you again, spreading your legs with his knee. He placed his forehead to yours. “What do you need, doll?”
You huffed out. “I need you inside me,” You said, sassily.
He grabbed your jaw, pulling your face even closer. “Learn some manners and maybe I can make that happen.”
You could feel your heartbeat in your pussy. “Please, Bucky. I need to feel you stretch me out.”
His pupils dilated, and he released your jaw roughly. “That’s better,” He said, going to line himself up with your entrance. Without any warning, he thrusts into you and bottoms out.
“Oh my God,” You yell out, gripping his muscular arms and digging your nails into his flesh. He hissed but began to move inside you at a rather quick pace.
“You like the way I stretch that pretty pussy, baby?” He whispered against your lips, his forehead still on yours.
You nodded, not able to form words as he picked up the pace even more. He grabbed your hands and held them above your head as he kissed you. You wore you could feel him in your throat.
You could already feel that familiar hot coil begin to burn in your stomach as he continued to milk that sweet spot inside of you with his quick thrusts every time. “Bucky…” You whined.
“What, princess? You wanna cum?” He said huskily against your lips. He wasn’t kissing you, just ghosting his lips over yours as you both panted and moaned against each other’s mouths.
You nodded quickly as he smirked. “I know that you’re close.”
You couldn’t speak, even if you wanted to. You just nodded, lost in ecstasy. He smirked and continued his relentless pace. “I think princess is cock drunk. Can’t even speak when spoken to,” He grunted out. He was starting to lose himself in the feeling too. “Fuck, you feel so good around me, doll.”
He let go of your hands to grab your jaw again, making you focus your eyes on his. You were a panting, moaning mess just tilting towards the edge. He locked his eyes on yours and said, “Mine. You’re mine.”
What?
“You wanna cum, princess? Say it. Say you’re mine. Tell me who’s making you feel so good.”
You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out at first. After a few tries, you said, “You are, Bucky.”
“Say you’re mine,” he growled.
“I’m… I’m….” You started. “I’m gonna cum, Bucky.”
And you did, not following his instructions. He felt you convulse around him, and he came right after you as you were still coming down from your high. You felt him spill into you, coating your walls before it seeped out of you. You each began to try and catch your breath as you came down from the aftershocks of your orgasms. Bucky fell on the bed next to you and you both laid there looking up at the ceiling for what felt like hours.
You began to spiral like you did outside the bar. Why did he want you to say you were his? Was it because he was jealous of Loki? Which, by the way, why was he jealous of Loki? He was the one that you had sex with. Did he just want you to say you were his because of some possession kink he has?
Questions continued to float through your mind. Bucky finally sat up and went to get a towel to clean up with.
“Thanks,” You whispered as he cleaned you up.
He smiled before he went and put the towel back in the bathroom. He climbed back into bed right next to you. He wrapped his arms around your waist, and you tensed up. He stopped and he looked to your face. “You okay?”
“Yes.”
“Pinky promise?” He said, holding his pinky up with a smile.
You didn’t return the smile, and his slowly faded away. “No. I’m not okay. I think I might go home.” You said, and started to get up, but he stopped you.
“Hey, hey. Doll, what is it?” He asks, searching your eyes for answers. Then, it seemed like there was a bell that went off in his mind. “Is this about Brock?” He said in a hushed tone, like it was going to hurt you just to hear the name.
You scrunched your nose. “No. Yes. I don’t know. Bucky, I…”
“We don’t have to talk about it. If you want to go home, or just go sleep in the other room, I’m not going to stop you.” He said, releasing his hold on you.
Bucky knew what you went through with Brock Rumlowe. He didn’t know everything – if he did, he would probably go kill him, along with the rest of your friends – but he knew you were tremendously hurt.
The only person who knew how much you were hurt was Natasha, and we all know that Nat definitely wanted to hunt him down and kill him when she saw how he hurt you.
Because of all this, you had a fear of commitment. You were okay with having something fun or casual, but commitment frightened you.
“Can I stay here? And we not talk about it?” You ask in a small voice.
“Of course, doll. You are always welcome here.”
Your felt a tightness in your chest as you laid back down and looked at Bucky. “What comes next, Bucky?”
He furrows his eyebrows at first, but he finally realizes you mean with you two. “What do you want to happen next?”
“I don’t know,” You breathed out. “I don’t want to lose you. You are one of my best friends.”
He hid it well, but inside he felt his heart fall into his chest. He took a deep breath. “You won’t lose me. We are best friends.”
You nodded fiercely. “Same here.”
“So, we won’t let what happened tonight affect our friendship,” he said.
“Right,” you said as a smile formed on your face. “Pinky promise?” You said, holding up your pinky.
He smiled, despite the twinge of sadness he had inside. He lifted his pinky and locked it with yours. “Pinky promise.”
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cosmos-coma · 2 months
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My Sun, My Star- Part 2
A/N: Thank you all SO MUCH for your great comments on part one. I couldn't have asked for a better crowd to receive my work! Because so many people asked for it I've finally written a part 2! I honestly can't tell how good it is any more cause I've probably read it through 12 times in the last two days lol, so enjoy!
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Words: 7476 (whoops)
Warnings: Pregnant reader, Otherwise GN reader (no pronouns), Occasional use of "Y/n", Injury, Bucky's kind of an ass when hes upset (but redeemable), arguing.
Summary: Bucky finds out that you met the Winter Soldier and he is Not happy.
Part 1 | Part 3 | Epilogue | Bucky Masterlist
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“Doll…?” you heard the familiar voice call, rough and gritty from its recent use but still carrying that same soft tone he used with you.
Your heart swelled as you lowered your hand from your face “Bucky...?”
He looked tired, so so tired. What was once sweet blue eyes were now diluted with exhaustion, no longer the brisk gaze you had learned to find comfort in. But still, a smile of relief eased onto your features at the mere sight of him and slowly the spark in his eyes began to return. 
“Bucky!” You rushed to the thick door separating you, your hands eagerly jiggling the locked knob as you tried to get in. All you wanted to do was hold him, to hold his face, his hands; you wanted to feel and squeeze all of him just to know that he was truly back.
“Sheesh, hold on!” Tony complained, “At least let us take the wiring off first, we can’t have you coming in and messing up- hey! HEY, stop smudging the glass!” Tony shouted as he worked quickly to detach the wires of various machines from his head.  
Bucky laughed a bit as he sat up carefully, rolling the pain out of his shoulders and arms when something didn’t feel right. He winced as he felt his soft shoulder complain against the movements and looking over he spotted the bandage taped tight to his skin- a small dot of blood peeking through the solid white; before he could ask about it Tony was already sending a technician to unlock the door. 
“Alright, alright, we’re opening the door, stop your jiggling…” the billionaire griped.
As soon as you saw your opening you ran straight for him, your leg be damned as you stumbled into his waiting arms, “Bucky, my heart...” you whispered with relief as you hugged him as close as you possibly could. It was times like these when you cursed your body’s rotund transformation as it refused to let you get that much closer to him. But none of it mattered as his strong arms wrapped around you in turn, flooding you with the familiar scent and warmth of his amber-like musk. 
“Hey, Doll…” The super soldier rasped softly in your ear, his voice still a little rough from the muffled shouts of pain just minutes before. His brow tightened and he held in a wince at the impact of your hug, refusing to let you see him falter as pain jolted his shoulder. 
“What are you still doing up?” he asked with a smile, the roughness finally easing away and slipping back into the smooth rumble of his natural voice. His eyes trailed down your face and body, stopping abruptly at the bandage wrapped around your calf. He frowned as his brows creased together uneasily, “What happened to your leg? Who-” he started to ask, but before he had a chance to finish Tony interrupted with his usual reminders. 
“Alright, I’m sure you remember-” He paused a moment, shrugging, “well, maybe- that although you may not remember anything now, it should all come back over time,” Tony said as he typed updates into Bucky’s file. “Given that this wasn’t a very long recession- just a few hours- you should remember everything in a couple of days,” he decided with a firm nod, looking over to the disheveled man. “Do you remember anything from last night?” 
Bucky shook his head, “I remember the basement and the flashing lights…I remember following Sam back out to the jet, but it starts getting fuzzy there,” he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. His mind was exhausted from switching back and forth and he really didn’t have the energy to delve into it much longer. “I think I remember coming back to the tower, but it’s not clear.”
“Hm, Interesting,” Tony remarked as he typed in a few more long lines into the already lengthy files. Bucky couldn’t quite make out the words on the pages and pages of information on himself and the Winter Soldier, but then again, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know anyway. 
“Well,” continued Tony, looking at you now, “seeing as I’ve heard that your front door is in a state of disrepair-” 
“-Kicked in,” you corrected swiftly, making Bucky’s concern rise. 
“Semantics, ” Tony disregarded with a wave of his hand, “-you two are welcome to stay in the tower until we get it fixed. Barnes’ old room is still open; I trust you two remember the way there?” 
----
You stepped into Bucky’s old room, a few personal items still scattered around here and there, but barely anything significant. Strong arms snaked around your waist, careful of your belly as they pulled you close against their firm frame.
Soft laughter bubbled from your chest as you gazed up at him, your head leaning back against his solid build, “Just like old times, huh?” You mumbled happily as you rubbed your hand up and down his forearms. 
“Mmm, back when I used to sneak you into the tower every other night?” his body rumbled with a gentle laugh, remembering the fond moments. The two of you lingered in the peaceful space for a moment, both of you happy to have finally put the stress of the past few hours behind you. Large hands smoothed down your rounded belly, inching the fabric of his sweatshirt up so he could feel his little girl properly.
You hummed softly, contentment easing into your every pore as you let out a big yawn. You were finally feeling the full weight of the day and you wanted nothing more than to collapse onto the small mattress. You pulled back, bringing his knuckles up for a  quick kiss as you stepped away, “I’m gonna get ready for bed. I’m beat…we both are,” you said with a gentle pat to your belly. 
Bucky nodded as he watched you leave his arms, your gait just slightly uneven as you tried to hide the extent of your limp, “Doll…” he called, causing you to glance back. 
“You never answered me earlier. What happened to your leg? And what did Stark mean by our door being broken in…?” he asked, watching closely as you stood with your back to him. Your shoulders tensed the slightest bit as he asked, your gaze turning away as you searched desperately for the right way to tell him. 
“I… It was an accident….” you said, trying to ease him into it as you started explaining from the beginning “I was at home in bed when-” You started, but he had already begun connecting the dots. The basement, the blood, the lapse in memory, only to finally find himself awake in Tony’s lab? It was all too familiar.
“You met him, didn’t you?” He asks quietly, “The Winter Soldier….”  The room went silent as you hesitated to answer, only the tremble of your beating heart to be heard in your ears, but it was all the reply he needed. 
He could feel the growing heat of anger simmer beneath his skin. He had failed you- he couldn’t frame it in any other way. He had tried so hard for so many years to keep you from meeting him, to keep you safe, and now- in your most vulnerable state- he had failed. Deep in his heart, he knew he was only angry with himself, but knowing it still didn’t seem to stop the way his words bubbled over and burned, “Why didn’t you tell me? Did he do this to you?” He pointed at your bandage, his anger was simmering into a rolling boil when it suddenly crashed into an icy panic.
“Shit, did he-” He gulped and continued with the faintest shuddering his breath, “Did he try to…? ” He couldn’t even finish the sentence, the thought too scary to speak into existence as his hand fell to your bump in worry. As an assassin his targets had always been adults in the past; would the Winter Soldier really target a child? Bucky couldn’t say for certain either way and that was enough for him to worry.
“What...? Bucky, no. He would never-“ 
“Do not tell me what he would and would not do, Y/n,” he seethed, using your name for the first time in what felt like forever. You had always been his doll….
“You think I don’t know the things he’ll do? You think I don’t see them again and again at night? No one is an exception to him, not even you-“
“But I-“ 
“And if you truly believe that-” his voice grew lower, his anger coming out in slicing breaths as he spoke, “-then maybe you’re not as smart as you let people believe you are….” 
You suck in a sharp breath as his last words hit you. You felt like a bucket of ice was thrown directly over your head and your brain reeled as it tried to make sense of it all. ‘Did he… did he really just say what I think he said?’  you questioned, but your brain just played those thorn-covered words on repeat, rubbing the truth into your open wounds. You tried not to take them to heart, you knew it had been a long day for the both of you, but how could you not? 
You took a shuddering breath as you looked down, tears welling in your eyes that you willed him not to see. You were too tired for this.
“Y/n..” he sighed as he watched you wordlessly gather his old clothes, long forgotten in the drawers from when he first moved in with you all that time ago. “Y/n, Where are you going? Come back here…” 
“I’m going to find another room.” You explained simply, forcing calmness into your tone, but you still couldn’t meet his eyes. 
“Doll, I’m sorry-”
“No.” You said firmly, causing him to raise his eyebrows a bit as slowly you turned to face him, “I'm far too tired for this tonight, James. it’s been a long night, we’re both in pain, and you obviously need some time to cool down, because the Bucky I know? He would never speak to me like this,” You struggled to hold in your venom as you harshed out those last words, “Goodnight, Bucky.”
You let the welled-up tears finally break free as the door clicked closed behind you. Sniffling back the onslaught you wiped away your tears to peek around the hall, eventually settling on the room just across from his. “FRIDAY? Open up the door to room 7 please…” you asked, relieved when she did exactly as you asked- you’d have to thank Tony for that later. 
“Shit,” Bucky sighed into the empty room, now far too quiet for his liking. He always did everything he could hold to keep his anger in check with you, and it had been easy for the most part. Loving you had always come easy to him, and so he rarely had anything to be upset about. But this? This was new for him…. everything the Winter Soldier did was a means to an end. He was a deceiver, it was programmed into him over the decades and he couldn’t bear to let you fall prey to his games too.
Sleep eluded you for a while as you tossed and turned. You weren’t used to sleeping without him by your side, especially when you knew he was just a step and a knock away. But eventually, through your exhaustion, sleep finally came and you dreamed about your star that very night.
You dreamed of his eyes. Those intense blues that had rattled you so unexpectedly just hours ago. You were sure Bucky was wrong. Those eyes didn’t hold malice when they looked at you. No, they held knowing, like he had finally figured out a piece of himself. As if he had finally seen an aspect of what he could- no, what he would be. 
You also dreamed of his smile. As awkward and unpracticed as it was you still loved it. It was nowhere near as bright as Bucky’s, but it held reverence for you all the same. 
You dreamed of the promises he made against your belly. While you couldn’t distinguish the words he had said, you knew exactly what they meant; protection, strength, and the promise to return…. 
When you finally awoke your heart rang with a pang of guilt. Your dream-state comfort had been that of an assassin, an engineered “weapon”- and your heart’s blood-stained other half…. You sighed as you rubbed the sleep from your face. Was it right to be finding comfort in his icy blues instead of Bucky’s warm ones? Your thoughts fought each other for barely a minute more before you were brought back to the “talk” you and Bucky had yesterday. ‘He wouldn’t even listen to me! And then he’s going to go and call me stupid?! AGH’ you huffed as you slammed your fists down on the bed, your hands bouncing in an unsatisfying manner. 
Rolling out of bed, you got changed into Bucky’s old clothes, smoothing down the oversized items as you poked your head out of the room. All was quiet in the hallway and only a couple of distant voices could be heard from the kitchen and living area. Holding your belly you hobbled out, your leg searing with each step as you kept your head on a swivel for a certain super soldier. You weren’t quite ready to talk to him yet, all your frustrations still pumping through your blood in a slow but consistent course, However, your heart still found itself craving his familiar presence. 
A fleeting disappointment hung over you when you realized he was nowhere to be found, instead discovering Natasha and Sam as they chatted over breakfast. 
“It was.. weird, Nat. I know my interactions with him in the past have been limited, but I’ve never seen him like that before” Sam said and you knew they were talking about last night.
“Hey, you two…” You interrupted, causing them to pause as they watched you enter, but neither seemed uneasy as you butted in. 
“Y/N…” Sam greeted with a small smile, pressing a few buttons on the coffee machine to get something started for you, “How’s it going? It looks like your leg is still bothering you…” 
“Yeah... it’s burning more than last night, ” you rubbed your hand gently over your bandages in an attempt to soothe it, but it only stung more in retaliation. “Ah..” you hissed as you immediately retreated, “Yeah, it’s just a little sensitive….”
“We have some topical anesthetic and fresh bandages in the first aid kit if you want. I can grab them if Sam Is okay finishing off the rest of the pancakes?” the redhead proposed, holding the spatula out to him in an offering. 
“Oh?? I, Sam Wilson, get to finish making Natasha’s famous pancakes? What an honor,” He laughed as he feigned his esteemed admiration, taking the spatula and flipping the few already sitting in the pan.
 Nat grinned brightly as she made her way down the hall, whispering as she went past, “Truthfully? It’s a box mix. I just add vanilla and nutmeg and they never know the difference.”
You chuckled as you watched her go off to fetch the kit, truly thankful for the break in tension you were already feeling. You hadn’t gotten to know Natasha very well yet, on the off chance you visited the tower she was usually busy with missions, training, or paperwork, yet she welcomed you all the same. Part of you wondered if it was the former assassin in her that let her find friendship in you. After all, if you could love Bucky despite the Winter soldier, then surely you could be her friend despite her past, right?
You took a seat at the island's raised stools, watching Sam as he tried not to let the pancakes overcook. “So, Where is Bucky this morning?” You asked him, trying to be casual as you crossed your arms over the counter, thanking him as he placed a cup of decaf in front of you. 
But Sam paused; you always knew where Bucky was, sometimes more than they did at this stage in your pregnancy. He even swore sometimes that you two were attached at the hip. The fact that you didn’t know means something must’ve happened last night after he got reset. 
“He joined Steve on his morning run,” he answered as he leaned against the island opposite you, rolling his eyes as he continued, “It’s always ‘on your left…!’ when I run with him. I hope he gives Steve a run for his money this time…” he shook his head and smiled a bit as he watched you, trying to check in, but you just laughed, your face cracking into a small smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. 
“Speaking of your elusive super soldier…” Nat started as she returned, getting straight to the point as both her curiosity and old spy ways got the best of her, ”I heard the infamous Winter Soldier made an appearance last night...” She eyed you as well as she set the first aid kit down.
You tried to keep your smile, but as the conflicting thoughts and feelings of just last night resurfaced it was no time before it slipped away. You frowned at your mug, watching the dark swirls that lingered amongst the cream you added, “He did… he showed up at the house last night unexpectedly.”
Natasha’s frown matched yours as she spoke, “That bad, huh?”
“No, not at all. I mean, besides the almost getting shot part-“ you motioned as you began unwrapping your leg, your gash now open for the world to see. Though It was still a blazing red, it didn’t seem infected and for that you were thankful. 
Her eyebrows shot up as she looked over your wound, it was a good-sized graze and a very near miss, “Y/N do we need to have a talk about toxic relationships?” 
“What? No, Nat-” You waved her off, trying to get back on track as you began carefully cleaning it, “he’s not the one who shot me.” 
You didn’t miss the way Nat’s eyes darted to Sam, surprise written on her face for just a moment before her collected expression came back. “He didn’t? That seems….”
“I told you…He was different last night,  he was on the defensive this time.” Sam chimed in, tying back to their earlier conversation that you had interrupted.
You nodded in agreement and continued, “It was the security team that shot me, some new kid. I didn’t recognize his number or his face,” You explained. You couldn’t even be angry at that poor dumb soul either, he more than got what was coming to him. All you could hope for was that he learned something when he was dangling so uselessly in the air. 
Sam thought for a moment, back to the bristling frustration he saw written all over Bucky as he left this morning, enough that he worried the Winter Soldier might have made a second appearance. His concerns dissipated when Steve managed to pat the man’s shoulder without receiving an immediate knife to the throat, but now it made him wonder, “Does Bucky know this?”
Your expression softened and you continued to frown as you took a small sip, “No… I tried to talk about it with him last night, but he didn’t want to hear anything after he learned who I met,” you huffed with annoyance, not even bothering to hide it from your two friends. 
Sam nodded and held his hand up, “Well, I can’t say much since we only came in on the end, but maybe Bucky would listen to the body cam footage?”
You paused, blinking a few times as you processed what he said, “Body cam footage?” You questioned, setting the roll of bandages down, “What do you mean?”
“The security team is always required to wear body cameras when they go out. They should be reviewing it now,” Natasha explained. 
You nearly jumped out of your chair, the pain in your leg the only thing holding you back. This could be it! If he wouldn’t believe your words, then maybe he’d believe his own eyes. Bucky deserved to know what kind of man his other side of him really was; he deserved to know that you loved him wholly, finding comfort in both sides of the coin. 
You were determined not to give up on your star, because while Bucky had his friends to back him up, your Soldat had no one. No one, but you. 
“Where can I get it?” You rushed to ask, looking back between the two, who in turn exchanged glances with one another. 
Natasha took over pancake duty as Sam slid a plate in front of you and said, “It should be available sometime tomorrow, I can let them know you want a copy. Since you were the one caught in the crossfire they shouldn’t have a problem giving you access.” 
You nodded quickly, excitement and relief easing into your shoulders as you took your plate, letting out a breath you didn’t you were holding. 
This was it. 
--------
Bucky’s feet hit the pavement in time with his steady heart, maneuvering past people like boxes in crowded alleyways. He was supposed to be on a run with Steve, but his mind had been wandering the whole time.  ‘The Bucky I know? He would never speak to me like this,’ you had told him, so calm and so even that he honestly wished you had just screamed at him. His legs went into autopilot as your words rattled around his head. You were right, never in his waking minutes would it have ever crossed his mind to say those things to you. He was just so tired, so scared, and to top it all off it seemed like you had completely forgotten his warnings on the Soviet assassin. Or worse- that you purposefully went against them.
“Buck? Bucky!” Steve’s voice finally reached his ears as a hand grabbed his shoulder. 
“What? What is it..?” The brunet shook himself from his thoughts as he slowed to a stop, looking back at his friend.
“Where are you going? The tower is this way,” Steve shot a thumb over his shoulder in the opposite direction, the tower in plain view above the surrounding shops. 
Bucky stopped, blinking as he tried to process his surroundings. Where was he going? There was nothing in this direction except-
The apartment. 
Bucky sighed as he quieted the subtle itch at the back of his mind, “Nothing, nothing. Just lost in my thoughts. I’m here now,” he assured, to which Steve nodded, but obviously did not believe. He was always too smart for his own good.
“Let’s head back to the tower, okay? It’ll be our final mile. We can even stop by the bakery on our way.” 
Bucky willed himself to keep his thoughts in line as they ran their last mile, the tension in his body slowly unwinding only as they came to a stop and stepped into the sweet-smelling bakery. His senses were hit with a deluge of warm bread and spices that seemed to quiet his nerves for the time being. 
“What can I get for you, sugar?” the older woman behind the counter asked. Her smile was tired as she nursed an old cup of coffee and Bucky assumed she had been there since its opening hours ago. 
“Oh, um…” Bucky hummed as he looked through their displays, his heart really wasn’t in it like he wished it was. He was about to step back without getting anything when he spotted a fresh tray of cinnamon rolls coming out of the back. Cinnamon rolls had always been one of your favorite treats and he had rescued many a bad day with a surprise from the bakery. Maybe he could turn this bad day around too.
“Three cinnamon rolls, and three of the blueberry lemon rolls too. Uh, and a black coffee…. Please.” He asked, pulling his wallet out. 
“Sounds like you’re having quite the party,” she commented with a little chuckle as she filled up a box with fragrant pastries. 
“Ah, almost…I’m trying to make it up to someone,” He admitted sheepishly.
“Hm…” She hummed, looking right through him with practiced eyes, “You want me to throw some heart-shaped sprinkles in there or is that too much?” 
A tiny smile lifted the corners of his mouth, “I think it’s gonna be just right.” 
Bucky rehearsed the whole walk back, running his apology through his head dozens and dozens of times until it felt perfect. You still didn’t seem to grasp the level of danger you were in or how lucky you were to get out with just a scratch, but he knew you wouldn’t be able to listen if you were still angry with him. Maybe this would smooth things over enough for him to explain- for him to tell you all the things he did, all the things his hands will forever be stained with. 
You knew the gist of it of course. Bucky had made it a point to let you know exactly what had happened to him over those years and exactly what his job as a living weapon was. The last thing he had wanted was for you to resent him for tricking you into loving him. But you deserved to know more, and these gooey pastries going to be his entry point.
Yes. He’d give you the treats, say his well-thought-out apology, and then he could finally explain. Hopefully, then you’d understand.
Well, that was the plan anyway.
As the doors opened up to their desired floor, Bucky could hear you before he even saw you. Your laugh rang like bells as you chatted away with Natasha and Sam, his heart bolstering with hope that your good mood would only make it better as he stepped forward. 
“Hey, Do-“ he started before his eyes landed on your leg. It was propped up on the stool beside you as you were obviously in the middle of caring for it. He hadn’t had a chance to see it yet, part of him not wanting to know just how bad it was, but now there was no ignoring it. It was bright red, yelling its ferocity and pain as you tried to air it out. The wound itself was still trying to heal over, its soft vulnerable flesh showing barely any sign of scabbing. Blood stained your old bandage and it all made his stomach twist without mercy. 
His mind couldn’t negotiate with him how bad it was anymore. Even though it was just a graze, he could see how painful and uncomfortable it was for you. He had failed you. What if it had just been an inch over? What if it had hit your bump? What if it had hit your heart? 
He didn’t even realize he had crushed the flimsy cup in his hands until Steve stepped back, saying something about getting paper towels. Scorching coffee steamed up from his metal hand where it continued to drip into the puddle below it.
You looked over in surprise as you heard the splash, seeing your Bucky standing there with an intensity so adamant that you almost mistook him for someone else. But his eyes aren’t staring at you, per se, but your leg. 
“Bucky, It’s okay, really-“ you tried, but he would not hear you; He wouldn’t hear anyone as he dropped his cup, the loud clattering in the quiet room almost more jarring than anything he could have said back. “Buck. Bucky, wait-!” but he was already walking away, forcing his gaze ahead as he passed by you like a ghost. 
You tried to reach out, to grab his sleeve, but he slipped right through your fingers. 
“Barnes, come on…” Natasha gently scolded, but he still refused to react. 
You blinked back your shock, willing the threat of tears to subside when you heard the loud thud of his door closing behind him. You let out a shuddering breath, your hands rubbing down your face and you wondered just how long this was going to last. 
After taking a few minutes to re-wrap your leg, hoping maybe he had cooled down once more you made your way down the hall. “Hm?” You mused wordlessly as you saw the small white box placed on the ground before your door. Being careful of your protruding bump, you squatted down- earning a small kick of protest- and lifted up the lid. 
‘Cinnamon rolls… my favorite. And he even got us a special flavor…. ‘
With utmost care, you closed the box again and turned to face his door. “Bucky? My heart…?” You tried as you knocked on his door, putting your ear against it as you listened in.
Silence.
You tried again, louder this time, “Bucky, are you in there...?” But were again met with nothing. Was he really ignoring you now? “Please, can we just talk?” 
Quiet.
Your skin couldn’t help but burn as you tried to hold in your frustration. ‘So now he doesn’t want to talk to me? What did I even do?!’ You thought as you dug your nails into your palms, using the sharp pain to ground you once more. 
With a deep breath, you turned, picked up the white box, and left him to his begotten silence.
---------
Bucky’s ears were deaf to your calls as the shower rained over him, washing off the coffee and grime of the whole morning. His breath broke through the steam as he sighed, dipping his head under the rush of scorching water as if it would wash away his worries too; It almost worked until a searing headache made itself known. 
The pain rippled in violent waves that came out of nowhere, consuming him suddenly and causing him to reach out blindly for the support of the slick wall. It was worse than getting kicked straight in the head, but he knew from experience that fighting it would only make it hurt more. 
Squeezing his eyes shut against the pain, he made the perfect dark theater as flashes and snippets of memories played behind his eyes. 
“Bucky…?” A vibrant grin spread across your lips, lighting up the room brighter than the phone on your bedside table. Someone was calling you, but he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away and the more he watched, the more your face changed. 
Your eyes squinted as you looked deeper into him and for a moment he could swear you saw the heavy weight of loneliness that ached in his chest. He felt the coldness of his expression, emotionless and lifeless save for the way his brows knit together, eyes searching yours with confusion and… wanting? Your brows knit together, almost a reflection of himself he thought, as you seemed to consider who you looked at. 
He could feel the smooth cold weight of the knife in his hand as he took a step closer, his head shaking slowly. 
Then suddenly your gaze took on a horrified expression, your eyes darting to the phone to see who was calling. 
“Soldat…” You whispered. You tried to steel yourself, but he heard the way your nervous voice shook- he saw the way your pulse thrummed rapidly in your neck. As the phone went dark he took another step- quiet, so as not to send you running. 
Your phone buzzed again, lighting up the room once more as he stood above you now and you looked so scared, but his expression did not change. Did he feel anything as he saw your cowering form below him? Or was he just another husk of a weapon? Could he ever be anything more?
He glanced at the phone; his time with you had been interrupted again- your attention was drawn from him again. And he couldn’t have that. A low growl rumbled from his chest as you tried to reach for it, and immediately you recoiled again. He would take care of this. He would take care of you.
Wordlessly he declined the call and left you in darkness again. While his knife slipped away, his metal hand reached out. Something in him called desperately to feel your skin beneath cool unforgiving metal. He needed to see all the ways your soft scared body reacted under his touch.
He would take care of you. 
“Please… Just don’t hurt her..” you begged.  
Bucky sucked in desperate breaths as the memories of just yesterday finally faded. The headache lingered, but it was nothing compared to the incessant twisting of his heart in his chest.
What did he do to you…?
-----
You found solace in the quiet of your room after Bucky refused to answer the door, wrapping yourself in the comfort of your duvet rather than his arms. You sighed, looking about the empty room as you leaned your head against the armchair you sat in. “Hey there, baby…” you cooed quietly to your belly, your words immediately met with excited kicks. “Enjoying the rolls as much as I am?” you laughed a bit as you took another bite of your pastry. 
You were lost in the one-sided conversation between you and your belly when a knock came at your door. You furrowed your brow as you sat up a bit wondering who it could be, only to sigh and lean back again, “Nat, I’m not sure I’m really in the mood for-”
“It’s Bucky…”
You paused, your mind at war with whether you ignored him like he ignored you… when you received a swift kick to the ribs, your baby firmly letting you know you were acting stupid. “Ah, ow- Okay, okay. You win… nice kick….” You mumbled to the inevitable bruise forming inside you. 
“FRIDAY, Unlock the door to room 7, please?” you requested, to which she gladly complied. 
As the door let out a soft click you watched your boyfriend’s head slowly peek inside, a faint smile growing on his features as his eyes finally settled on you. “Doll…” he breathed as if the simple action blessed him with life.
You couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your features before you quickly pulled it all back in. You were still frustrated with him and you weren’t going to let him off so easily. You had to be strong and stick up for the Winter Soldier, after all, it was the least you could do. 
“Do you like them…? I know they’re your favorite,” he smiled as he motioned to the box of pastries, taking a few steps closer until he stood an arm's reach away. You wanted nothing more than to feel the warmth of him against you and the tight safety of his arms, but that would have to wait.
“I do… Thank you,” you smiled faintly down at the box as you pulled the blanket tighter around you. 
He nodded, the ends of his lips remaining curled in a small smile, “I’m… I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to say those things, or imply that I don’t think you’re the smartest one in the room because you are.” His eyes cast down in shame before moving back up to you. He looked worn, as if he had been beating himself up for hours and you wanted nothing more than to take it all away. 
“I was tired, and in pain, and scared...” He tried to hide the slight tremble in his voice as he remembered the way his thoughts raced when he first learned you had met the Soldier. He frowned as he fought off the memory that had resurfaced just a short while ago as he continued, “I don’t mean to make excuses, and it won’t happen again, I just-,” he frowned, his jaw setting as he steeled himself and took a breath, “I can’t imagine the ways he must’ve hurt you, or the ways he intended to. It makes me sick to think that I wasn’t there to do anything, and even sicker to know I was the one doing them….”
But it was your turn to frown now, “Bucky, My heart. I keep trying to tell you he didn’t hurt me, He would never….” You assured, but this argument was beginning to look all too familiar.
“Doll, you can’t tell me that you really believe that…? You know the things he’s done, the indiscriminate blood on his hands-” he sighed as he also felt the argument beginning to go around in circles. 
Just as you were about to open your mouth FRIDAY interrupted, “Guest Y/N, Sergeant Barnes, Miss Romanoff has requested your presence in the living area. She asks that you do not delay.” 
You sighed as you looked at Bucky, who seemed to be just as confused as you were. Nevertheless, you peeled yourself from your blanket cocoon, steadying yourself on the chair’s arm briefly before heading toward the door. You could feel him following behind you, trying to stay a few steps back both in punishment to himself, and the urge to give you space.
You glanced back at him, offering your hand as you slowly made your way down the hall. Bucky took it immediately, holding your hand like it was a lifeline and you gently tugged him closer, urging him to fall in step beside you as you leaned on him for support; he has never been happier to be your crutch.
As the two of you walked into the living space you saw Natasha standing firm in front of the TV with the remote in her hands. Sam and Steve looked back from their place on the couch, waving a bit at each of you as you joined the group.
Before either of you could ask any questions Natasha got straight to the point, “Alright, I’m done feeling the tension between you two in the tower… you two have been arguing about something that- all in all, you two should just be happy went as good as it did..” she motioned for you two to take a seat before continuing, “But because you two are still at odds with each other I’ve asked to get the body cam footage expedited. We have the best of what they’ve gone through already and Barnes? I really think you should watch it…” she said with a pointed look and clear knowing. 
He cast an uneasy glance at Sam and Steve, but when he received a simple nod in return he nodded too, tugging you gently onto the seat beside him. With a sigh, he nodded at Nat to start the video. He wasn’t sure he was ready to see it, but he was on a mission and he fucked up, he deserved to know just how spectacularly he did it. 
You also motioned to Natasha, and she started the video. However, you could barely keep your eyes on the screen, instead, your eyes were glued to your beloved soldier’s face, waiting with bated breath for his reaction. 
Bucky tensed as the video started with the security team breaking through your door, leaving it broken and barely on its hinges as they rushed their way through the house. He took in a sharp breath as the video continued and he saw himself standing over you, the bunching of the sweatshirt making it evident that your baby- his baby- was fully exposed. But it wasn’t until he turned that Bucky’s body started to unwind, his expression still a mask of confusion as he saw you grab the assassin’s hand, his grip giving a comforting squeeze. 
“He…” 
Bucky’s heart twinged with conflicted feelings as you called out to the team, begging them not to shoot, while still pleading with him to stand down. He could see the look in the Soldier’s eyes, but it wasn’t one he recognized… It was tangled; a war between gentleness, vulnerability, and the unrelenting fight he had had beaten into him years and years ago. The Soldier stood unyielding, shielding the most vulnerable parts of you with his body as he brandished the small knife.
“He was… protecting you…?” Bucky whispered as he looked away, turning his eyes to your teary ones. Despite trying to blink them away, a few still found their escape down your cheeks.
“It’s all he wanted…” You nodded, trying to fight back the renewing well in your eyes, but you knew how it all ended, and though you knew he was still alive you couldn’t help but feel the loss of him still. “ He just wanted a place to call home, a place to be safe…” 
Bucky’s hand gripped yours, giving its own reassuring squeeze as he turned back to the screen. ‘My Sun…’ he called you, pure reverence and love in his voice that Bucky had never expected to hear from him. ‘My Star…’ you had called him back, desperate and pleading eyes as he turned back to you. 
The security team shouted at him to comply again, and the body cam shifted, showing a young kid whose gun trembled as if he was in the middle of a terrible earthquake. The woman wearing the camera recognized his anxiety and tried to talk him down, but he couldn’t listen and his gun went off with a bang. Bucky could see the kid’s surprise as he accidentally pulled the trigger, and the fear as you clutched desperately to your wounded leg. 
He winced as he saw the assassin’s cold expression return and again as a shot lodged square into his shoulder. He knew what was coming before he even lifted the kid in the air, your begging and crying out for his life ringing loudly in the background. No wonder you had been so adamant about defending him, he had done just the same for you. 
When the kid was dropped, yet still breathing and the Soldier returned to you Nat finally cut off the video, sighing a bit at the overbearing air of the room. 
Everything was quiet for a moment as Bucky took in the weight of the video until Sam and Steve broke the silence. 
“We were able to convince him to come back to the tower to be reset after that…”
“He was the one who patched up Y/n’s leg, and vice versa…”
You nodded in agreement, wiping your dry cheeks as you felt tears beginning to return, “He knew he had to go… and he was happy to do so. I think…” You took a breath as Bucky reached over to wipe the falling tears, “I think he was just happy to know he finally had more, more than one purpose.” 
Quietly Natasha waved everyone else from the room, giving you two much-needed space. 
“That’s why I’m so sure, Bucky... He would never hurt us,” you rested your hand on your belly, “He took bullets for us, just like I know you would- and I have no doubt that he’d do it again. And god, Buck- he loves her so much,” you choked out a sob as you spoke, “He promised her the absolute world and he can’t wait to meet her…” 
“Doll…” 
“And I can’t wait either,” you said firmly despite your current teary disposition, “I’m glad I finally met him, Bucky. Because despite the separation you and the team refer to him with he is still a part of you.” You looked into the softening eyes of your beloved as you continued “And I know he’s not a part you’re proud of but that won’t make him disappear. I know the things he’s done, and I know that you blame yourself for them, but his actions are not yours….” You said.
“I can’t condone the things he’s done, but I know what he’s doing now, and I know that no matter what you think of him I love every part of you, James Barnes. Even the parts you don’t want me to see.”
Bucky’s eyes blinked as they looked down trying to contain the swell of emotions creeping dangerously close to the edge. Slowly he lifted your hand to his lips, kissing your palm like it was worship, “I love you so much, Y/n… I’m sorry I didn't listen before. And though it still makes me hesitate, I’m glad you finally know who he is. He- We are beyond lucky to have you, and even luckier that you somehow manage to love the both of us. I was worried you’d hate me for him...” 
“Oh, my heart… I could never stop loving you in any way that would last.”
_____________
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lonewolfwriting89 · 7 months
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MOONLIGHT SONATA
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: You beckoned Bucky with your finger, a slow, sensual movement. He followed, stepping across the broken shards of moonlight on the linoleum floor. The odd ray glinting against his metal arm.
Warnings – Language. Smut. NSFW.
Word Count: 2.2k approx
A/N: Hope you all love it xoxo
————
It was almost four in the morning, and Bucky woke up following a bad dream, unable to fall back asleep. He crept out of bed, shuddering as the chilled air flirted across his bare chest, and walked softly to the kitchen. Blue-hued moonlight slid in through the windows, casting rays on the linoleum floor, pushing back the shadows. Bucky crossed the cupboard above the sink and removed a glass, filling it with water. Sipping at the cool liquid, he stared out the window at the moon-lit yard below and cleared his head of the day's thoughts.
A noise behind him caused his focus to shift. Bucky turned and saw you standing there, his faded old shirt hung down below your waist, the only thing you had on. As you stepped into the moonlight, he felt a stirring between his legs, and flushed in the darkness. Bucky realised that you couldn’t see the growing bulge in his boxers, not in the shadows of the night. You stepped towards him, removed the glass from his metal hand and took a sip yourself.
You placed the now empty glass on the counter and as you did, Bucky caught the briefest of glimpses of your exposed ass as the shirt you had on momentarily rose. You wore nothing but a white lace thong underneath. His boxers tightened, doing little to hide himself from you. Turning back to face Bucky you closed the distance between you both with each breath. You stood barely inches from him, your eyes glimmering in the darkness.
"Can't sleep?", you asked innocently enough, your finger traced the contours of the muscles on his chest across to where his skin met the metal of his arm.
"No...Not tired", he murmured, as he stepped forward, sliding his hands around your waist, cupping them down over your ass. Metal and flesh. He pulled you closer, letting you wrap your dainty arms around his neck.
"What shall we do, now that we're awake..?".
"I can think of a few things I'd like to do...", Bucky grinned, as your lips met in a passionate kiss. Your lips opened and your tongues sensuously explored one another.
You broke your embrace, walking backwards towards the kitchen table. You beckoned Bucky with your finger, a slow, sensual movement. He followed, stepping across the broken shards of moonlight on the linoleum floor. The odd ray glinting against his metal arm. You sat up on the kitchen table and slid backwards, spreading your legs ever so slightly, allowing him just a glimpse of your core.
That brief tease drove Bucky on. He stepped towards the table, reaching forward and pulled the old t-shirt over your head and tossed it behind him. It floated like a leaf to the floor, a soft crumple met your ears. The cool moonlight played across your skin, creating a perfect contrast of shadows and light, basking you in an ethereal glow.
He reached forward, wrapping his arms around your back and you kissed again. In the moonlight your tongues explored one another in the dark. Slow. Bucky sighed into the kiss, you tasted sweet, like ripened strawberries, freshly picked. He wanted more.
Once more, you broke the embrace, pulling back ever so slightly. He stepped back, curious and eager. You leant back on your hands, spreading your legs. Bucky’s gaze shifted, from your intensely beautiful eyes, to your breasts, down to the crevice between your thighs, hidden just behind the flimsy fabric of the thong.
"Something caught your eye Barnes...?", you whispered in the dark.
"Yes", he breathed heavily, although the growing warmth in his groin spoke for itself. You took one of his fingers and delicately licked it, up and down before placing it in your mouth and sucking on it. Bucky groaned quietly and you saw the shiver run over his skin. Removing it from your mouth, you left behind a slight strand of saliva that fell from your lips onto your breasts.
You gazed down at yourself, grinning impishly in the steel-blue moonlight. Your finger traced the curves of your breasts, leaving a trail of sticky, wet, glistening saliva, across them, around to your nipples, pebbled and erect from the cool air and the warmth radiating inside your body.
You stared at Bucky intently as you circled your nipples with your wet finger. He could feel a shortness and quickness of breath coming on, a fever beginning to kindle inside his body. You slid your wet finger down between your glistening breasts, over your smooth stomach, and down to the darkness between your legs.
Bucky couldn’t see between your legs, the light of the moon not reaching there, but he watched as your finger disappeared into it, moving in slow circles around it, as your eyelids half-closed in pleasure and private thoughts while you teased yourself.
You know how much he likes to watch when you do this.
Your hand began to move rhythmically, methodically, your eyes completely closed, your cheeks flushed with excitement. Bucky felt a voyeuristic thrill, as if he was watching something private. Something that's only supposed to take place behind closed doors, where there were no prying eyes.
The motion of your hand between your legs stopped, and you slowly withdrew your fingers from their hidden place of pleasure. You re-traced the trail of saliva on your stomach, leaving a wetter, stickier path this time. Made from the product of your own excitement. You circled your nipples again, until they glistened with beads of your slick, and then you took your fingers, almost dripping with your wetness, and placed them up to your lips, ever so delicately.
“Doll…”, Bucky murmured into the silent air.
You teased your fingers around your plump lips, as you did the folds between your legs, until they, too, glistened in the moonlight. You opened your mouth, licking your fingers up and down, sucked on them, drawing them into your mouth, tasting yourself, tasting your arousal, your sex.
You popped your fingers from your mouth, still dripping with your sex and your saliva, and offered them to Bucky. He stepped forward, taking your wrist with his hand, and kissed your fingers, tasting the nectar, tasting you. He traced his tongue along them, mildly disappointed that the taste of your arousal was almost gone, lost somewhere in your own mouth.
He tried to recover it. Your lips locked, tongues dancing once again. This time, Bucky tasted your desire, the very essence of your arousal, and he wanted more of it, badly. The bulge in his boxers brushed against the darkness between your legs as you wrapped them around him. He felt the already soaking wet cloth of the thong dampen his boxers.
Bucky thrust against your hips, ever so slightly, but he knew you could feel it when you arched your neck and moaned. He kissed along your throat, tracing his wet tongue down to your breasts. He followed the trail you left for him, the sweet, sticky path that followed the voluptuous curves of your breasts, your hardened nipples, down your toned stomach, into the tempting darkness between your legs.
Your thong was soaked, your slick, dripping onto the surface where you were perched. Bucky slipped it down your smooth, silky legs with his teeth, his calloused hand massaging your ass and the undersides of your thighs. He slowly guided your legs apart, gently kissing the insides of your thighs, licking up and down the insides of your legs torturously slow. Feeling you tremble in anticipation.
You couldn’t restrain yourself any longer, as Bucky teased the outside of your wet folds with his tongue. You reached down with two fingers, rubbing your swollen clit in anticipation, purring his name low in your throat. Finally, he gave you what you both wanted, his tongue flitted across your clit, causing a moan to escape your pursed lips, head tilted back as waves of pleasure radiated through your body. He pushed your hand away and replaced it with his own, inching them slowly into your pussy.
Your hips began to buck and tremble with the combined pleasure of Bucky’s tongue and fingers. He probed deeper with his tongue, sliding it deep into your dripping slit, then flicking circles across your clit. You squeezed your thighs and started rolling your hips in rhythm with his fingers, his hot tongue driving you wild.
Bucky could taste you cumming, he could feel it in the way you drove your hips, in the way your breath came shorter, harder. You panted, as another long, low moan breached your lips. His fingers slid in and out of you faster, his lips wrapped around your sensitive clit. Your body shook hard, causing the table you were sat on to rock with you.
With a sharp cry of his name, your body spasmed beneath his tongue. Another gasp of pleasure erupted from deep within you. Bucky groaned against your core and continued, curling his tongue through you. Your body jerked, as the ecstasy rolled through you bitterly, edging you into another intense climax.
Bucky gently kissed your folds, then planted more along the insides of your thighs, your sweetness still on his tongue and lips. He mapped up your trembling stomach, your panting chest, still glistening from your sweat and sex, up your neck to your mouth.
He wrapped his strong arms around your waist and pulled your trembling body up, so that you were sat on the edge of the table. You looped your arms behind his neck and pulled him in close, until your mouths merged. Your lips trembled as they met his, your body still pulsed with the echoes of your orgasm.
Bucky kissed you softly, slowly, letting you taste yourself on his lips and tongue. The tang of your slick made the coil in the pit of your stomach twist, igniting the desire again. Aroused by your own taste, you pulled him on top of you, on the table.
His boxers were ripped away urgently, your hands dragged him closer to whisper in his ear, "I want you inside of me…I need you inside of me…now”.
He obliged and kissed you passionately, before slipping into your tight, wet slit. You moaned loudly, feeling his thick cock stretch your pussy. He slid in and out of you, grasping the back of your neck with his metal hand, caressing your face with his flesh fingers, as he thrust harder.
Time ceased to exist as pleasure enveloped both of your bodies, the sensations ebbed and flowed. Increasing in strength and intensity. The tingling of euphoria burst through every nerve in your bodies. Waves of intense pleasure washed over Bucky as your wet walls clenched tightly around his shaft.
Your eyes started to roll to the back of your head, your thoughts hazy with lust and desire wrapped up in all that was Bucky. Just as you were both about to approach release, you locked eyes with him, a sly grin playing across your moonlit face.
You stopped, pushing his solid chest.
"Wha-", he couldn’t spit the words out, as the sensation of pleasure dissipated from his body as you slowly disengaged yourself. That look still on your face, mischief and arousal shone in your eyes.
You placed a finger upon his lips, shushing him softly. You pushed him back, gently, from the table's edge, and slowly slid off until your bare feet met the linoleum again. Bucky stared at you quizzically, not quite comprehending what was unfolding before him.
You lowered yourself to your knees, smirking up at him.
Suddenly, he understood and took a step towards you.
Extending your tongue, you met his throbbing cock, tracing the vein on the underside slowly. He gasped as you blew on the tip of his length, the combination of your warm breath on the end, your tongue running its length and your soft, smooth hand gently grasping and stroking pushed Bucky into a storm of bliss.
You plunged your lips over the head of his cock, sliding your tongue along the length of his shaft. All the way down, and all the way back up, making a soft smacking sound as your lips released him. You glanced up at Bucky, witnessing the intense pleasure pass over his handsome face.
You smiled and repeated. Again. And again. And again.
Bucky stroked your hair, threading his vibranium fingers through the strands, wanting to whisper his gratefulness, his appreciation, his love. Anything. But he found himself at a complete loss for words as a wave of euphoria passed over his body, causing him to gasp aloud. A shuddering sigh escaped the moonlight, along with his hot, sticky release.
You swallowed most of it, but you didn’t stop the bobbing motion of your head, the swirling of your tongue or the caress of your lips. The ecstasy was almost more than Bucky could bear, as you swept up the last physical remnants of his release from his shaft and head, swallowing it down.
Groaning, Bucky lowered his trembling body to the ground next to you. He wrapped his numb arms around you, kissing you sweetly as you both embraced, tasting himself on your tongue. He groaned quietly, enjoying the tang. You both laid quivering on the kitchen floor, the aftershocks of your orgasms buzzing through your bodies. In the moonlight, Bucky could see the sheen of sweat covering your skin, making you glow.
You both sighed happily in the moonlight. Basking in your own sonata.
————
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sergeantxrogers · 2 years
Note
Hi, I just read your latest work and it was great. Can you write about Bucky x reader are married. And reader is a plussize girl that has been insecure her whole life and she still is and is struggling to love herself and she doesn't think that she's enough for Bucky but she always pretends that she's okay and confident when she's with him.
Depressing. I know.
| carrying your love with me |
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
Word count: 2.6k
Warnings: Insecurities, slight allusions to fat-shaming, slight mentions of disordered eating, angst
Note: hi lovely! i'm sorry this took so long, i've been caught up in life for a few weeks, but i'm back now! your request hit home for me and i hope you enjoy it. thank you so much for reading ❤️❤️
_______________
Mrs. Barnes?
You fidgeted your hands in your lap, running your nails underneath each other as your fingers trembled. You stared and stared at the marble tiling beneath your feet, lost in thought.
Mrs. Barnes.
You tried avoiding eye contact as best you could, knowing what to expecting if you looked up and met eyes with any of the other women sitting around you. You didn’t look like them - you knew that. You envied the way they sat in their chairs, crossing a leg over the other with ease, holding their heads up high. 
That should’ve been you. That could’ve been you, had you not been cursed with the need to unnecessarily binge eat and a metabolism slower than a sloth ever since you could think for yourself.
Instead, you were stuck with pants that fit a bit too tight, shorts that rode up and made your thighs chafe, and shirts that did little to hide your belly, no matter how much you tried.
“Y/N?”
This time, your name being called pulled you out of the vortex of your own mind, and you lifted your head with raised brows, only to be met with a slightly concerned smile.
“I’m sorry,” you breathed, giving an awkward smile of your own. 
“It’s fine. I’m ready for you over in the first chair.”
Your hairdresser was a nice girl, short and petite in all manners of the word; her hands were dainty and soft, her black hair was cut short to frame her round face, and it seemed to you like her waist could fit inside yours at least three times over. Mariana was always kind to you, always chatted and kept up conversation, asking about any new happenings in life, spoke to you about her piece of shit ex - the usual. Yet even after coming to the same hair salon many times over the span of the past year, you still never felt quite like you belonged.
You walked over to the chair Mariana gestured at, and you refrained from clenching your jaw as you felt eyes on the back of your head. You tried telling yourself it was just your imagination, but after years and years of sticking out like a sore thumb in society, it was hard to ignore the feeling.
You sat down with a small sigh and let Mariana envelope you in the cape that always made you feel like you were suffocating, and she smiled at you in the mirror with her hands on your shoulders. 
“Alright, lovely, what did you have in mind for today?”
You pursed your lips to the side and shrugged. “I was thinking just a trim. My ends are completely dead so my hair hasn’t been growing.”
Mariana nodded, reaching around you to grab her spray bottle and comb from the vanity. 
What you had asked for only took about twenty minutes, which were filled with small talk about the brand of conditioner she recommended and the new puppy she adopted from the shelter. When she was finished, Mariana took the cape off and smiled at you broadly in the mirror. 
“Gorgeous,” she said quietly, and you couldn’t help but smile back. 
You made to get up from the chair in the exact moment the bell above the entrance rang softly, and you looked towards the door in the mirror. A feeling akin to joy spread warmly through your body as you made eye contact with your husband, and the grin on his face was borderline contagious. 
Your eyes flickered towards the women sitting in the small lounge, their heads turned down toward their Cosmos and Vogues, but their eyes following Bucky’s every step as he made a beeline to you. 
“Hi, sweetheart,” he greeted, placing a kiss to your cheek, and it was only then that you noticed a small paper bag in his hand, which he extended out towards you. “Hope I’m not too early.”
You shook your head in response as you took the bag from him with a skeptical look in your eyes. “No, you’re fine... what’s this?”
He looked down at you with a small smile as you unraveled the top of the bag and peeked inside. 
“You didn’t have time to eat anything before we left,” he explained, and you felt your heart lunge. “I bought you a couple of muffins when I finished at the grocery store.”
You willed your breath to stay steady as you stared down at the muffins. They seemed to stare back at you, tauntingly so, with their chocolate chips and soft, golden brown skin. You looked back up at Bucky as you closed the bag.
“Thank you, honey,” you said, and you meant it. It was a considerate thing for him to do. He was thoughtful, it just wasn’t his fault you hated the way you looked.
Bucky smiled, one of his smiles that had his nose crinkling and eyes glinting as he looked at you, and he leaned down to place a short kiss to your lips. 
“Oh, Mr. Barnes! You’re just in time.”
The cheerful voice had both of you turning around, and you finally got up from the chair as Mariana reached the two of you. 
“Mariana, it’s good to see you again!” Bucky greeted her with a smile, and went in for a friendly hug. 
She laughed and gave him a quick pat on the back before pulling away. You told yourself you were overthinking it, that there was nothing to it, but the way Bucky’s hand lingered on Mariana’s small waist was not lost on you. Nor was the way his arms seemed to wrap around her frame perfectly, contrary to your hugs with him. 
They exchanged a few words, throwing in a smile and a nod here and there, but you couldn’t hear anything over the roaring in your ears. You stood there and watched them talk, and you felt like a stranger in your own skin. 
You knew Bucky loved you. There was no doubt about that. Yet, often times you couldn’t help but wonder: wouldn’t he be happier with someone like Mariana? Someone he could easily pick up, easily carry around, someone he could hug and have her disappear in his arms completely. Someone he could introduce to his friends and family and be proud about it.
You zoned back in to the real world when you heard your name fall from Bucky’s lips, and you blinked at him. His blue eyes twinkled in amusement, as if he knew you had just been lost in your own head, yet he didn’t know why. 
“Thank you for making my beautiful wife even more beautiful, Ri,” Bucky said to your stylist, though he was looking at you with a smile the entire time he spoke. You felt the blush creep up on you, and you rolled your eyes to disperse some of the embarrassment you felt.
Mariana gave a shrug, and her eyes fell on the paper bag in your hands. She pointed with a grin.
“Are those muffins from the bakery down on fifth?” she asked you, eyes glittering, and Bucky nodded in your stead.
“Yup,” he said, popping the p. “They’re Y/N’s fav-”
“You can have them,” you blurted out, shoving the bag in her hands. Mariana stared down at the bag, then blinked up at you and frowned.
“Are you sure, Y/N?” she asked, hesitation lacing her words. “If they’re your favorite, I don’t want to keep you from them.”
Your blood stilled in your veins. You knew that wasn’t what she meant. You knew she meant the best. But you couldn’t knock enough sense into your brain to see that she didn’t mean it like that.
“You wouldn’t be keeping anything from me, Ri,” you said, a slight cold tone biting the edge of your sentence. “You have them. I insist.”
She looked at you warily, then cleared her throat and gave you a slight smile. “Thanks, Y/N.”
Bucky seemed to sense the shift in energy, because you felt his touch on the small of your back, grounding you, bringing you back to the surface of whatever waters you were drowning under.
“Let me pay real quick, and then we can go,” Bucky said to you. “Alright, honey?”
You nodded, and he left you with a kiss to your temple as he walked to the front desk.
You watched him walk away, and you swore your blood switched the direction of it’s flow at the sight of him owning each and every room he stepped in. When you turned your attention back to Mariana, you found her already halfway through one of the chocolate chip muffins, and when she noticed your stare, she covered her mouth and smiled.
“Sorry,” she said when she swallowed. “I haven’t had breakfast yet.”
You smiled at her. It wouldn’t matter if she had or hadn’t had breakfast yet. Girls like Mariana could have breakfast three times and still deserve muffins from your favorite bakery on fifth. 
“That’s okay,” you reassured her. “I already had breakfast anyways.”
You lied straight through your teeth, right through the fake smile you mastered over the years in order to deter questions and steer conversation away from what made you most uncomfortable. 
And so what if you did lie? It wasn’t like you would die if you skipped breakfast or lunch a couple of times. Your body had more than enough of what it needed to get you through the day. You could skip breakfast and dinner altogether for an entire week and it wouldn’t make much of a difference. You would know; you tried it. 
Bucky’s footsteps sounded against the tiles behind you, and soon enough you were wrapped up in a cocoon of all things Bucky, his arm hanging heavy across your shoulders, the smell of his cologne dizzying your head. 
“Ready to go?”
You nodded. “Let me just get my bag.”
You walked over to the lounge area, avoiding the wandering eyes of skinny women sitting there in their cute outfits and airs of superiority, and picked your handbag up from the seat it occupied. 
With a sigh and a clench of your jaw, you turned on your heels. When you met eyes with Bucky again, and he gave you a smile he reserved only for you, you felt your heart melt. You swallowed nervously, but kept your head higher than before as you walked over to him, waiting for you by the door. Fake it ‘till you make it.
“Bye bye! See you next time,” Mariana called out and waved with one hand, muffin in the other. Your eyes flickered from it to her face, and you forced a smile on your lips. 
“Bye, Ri,” you waved. “Thanks for the trim.”
And you stepped out of the salon, out of the too-stuffy, warm atmosphere and into fresh air. The slight breeze cooled your cheeks and you took a deep breath.
“C’mon,” Bucky mumbled, and grabbed your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours. “I parked the car over here.”
_______________
“You feelin’ okay?”
“Hm?” you asked, absentminded as you poked at your rice with your fork. 
“Is everything okay?”
You lifted your head, locking eyes with Bucky, and you could see the concern flooding them, the soft furrow of his brows and the tilt in his head as he stared at you. You forced a smile to your face.
“I’m fine, babe,” you said with a nod, but couldn’t help letting out a loose breath as you turned back to your dinner.
You felt terrible. There was an inner turmoil conflicting you, deep inside your soul, and both sides of it felt completely out of your control. On one hand, Bucky had made you both dinner. He had stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half, cutting, chopping, frying, boiling, the whole nine yards, refusing to let you touch anything, claiming he wanted to do something for you today. You felt horrible not being able to eat what he had made with so much love and effort. 
On the other hand, you felt horrible trying to force yourself to eat. Why should you eat, anyways? You saw how well Mariana and Bucky fit together, how right they looked. Bucky deserved something like that, and you wanted to give it to him. 
Bucky stared at you. And stared. And stared. You were too wrapped up in your thoughts, with your head kept low into your plate, to notice the way his shoulders dropped with a sigh. He placed his fork down against his plate and rested his elbows on the table. 
“I love you.”
The sentence was quiet, and matter-of-factly. It coaxed a small smile to your lips.
“I know,” you replied.
“Do you?”
The question made you look up at him again, slight shock and confusion spilling over your features. “Of course I do.”
Bucky sighed again, blinking at you over his hands, resting under his chin. He said nothing for a few moments, and you were beginning to feel fidgety under his steely gaze. 
Suddenly, he slid out of his dining chair, and your eyes followed him as he stepped around the corner of the table, and crouched down next to you. Bucky took one of your hands in his, and brought it up to place a kiss to your knuckles. For a soft moment, the air was quiet around you
“I know what it looks like when someone hates themselves,” he murmured into your hand, and your heart jumped. 
“W-what?”
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Stop it. Stop acting like you don’t know what I mean. I’ve been there before.”
You knew he had. You knew it took him a long time to reach a place of happiness and acceptance that his life hadn’t gone smoothly, but that it was better now. Which is why you always tried your best to keep it that way, in any way you could. 
“Buck...”
You turned slightly in your chair, your fork clanging out of your hand as you brought it to the back of his neck. 
“I need you to know you’re enough,” Bucky said in a breath. “Enough for me, enough for yourself, enough for everybody else. There isn’t a single thing about you that I would change if given the chance. Not a thing. I love absolutely every part of you, physical or not. You’re so fucking perfect, and it hurts that you can’t see that.”
Your vision blurred, and as you stared down at him, his eyes still closed, you realized you’ve been stupid. Of course Bucky would notice if something was off. It was just the way he’d always been, in tune to your wants, needs, emotions, pet peeves. He could read you like an open book with you just so much as blinking at him. 
“I’m sorry,” you whispered wetly, and he shook his head adamantly against your hand. 
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“But I-”
“Nothing,” he repeated fiercely, and you sighed, bringing your face down to your shoulder to wipe away a stray tear.
You were silent for a second, then you sniffled, and nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay,” he echoed, and he opened his blue eyes with oceans trapped inside them, and he looked up at you. He was so beautiful, and it always took your breath away. 
“Now,” he started, rising to his feet after another short peck to your hand. “Can we please eat?”
Your eyes followed him as he went back to his seat, and you let out a long breath.
“Alright,” you finally answered, and he smiled. 
Bucky picked up his fork. So did you. He took a bite. So did you. 
He swallowed it. So did you. And then you gave him a smile. 
It was difficult. And it was unbearably hard to change the vision you had of yourself. But for him, you would try. 
For Bucky, you would try. And he would do everything to make it feel worth it. 
_______________
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Text
Night of the Gods.
Pairing: James “Bucky” Barnes/Reader.
Warnings: Smut. Slapping. Fighting. Insults Hand around the neck.
Word Count: 1956.
Rating: 18+.
Masterlist.
I’ve reading a lot of fantasy romance lately and is starting to show. This as knight/guard Bucky x reader fic. Enjoy.
If you’re reading this fic, please consider checking out and reblogging this post. And, if at all possible, please donate.
You lean against the wall and watch as the guards pull the priests over their laps. They go willingly. And you’re fascinated by James, who sits in the middle of it all, alone. He told you to stay in your room, that tonight wasn’t “for you.” 
James is looking around, his eyes look different. They shine, bright, in the dim light of the torches around the ceremony hall. You try to stay unseen by James or any of the other guards. The Ceremony and the celebrations that occur after are for them. Is the one night of the year when their power and magic is replenished. You’ve heard it described as sex magic, but the Guards and the Priestesses are always tight-lipped about it. Never giving many details on it. This is after, any way. But whatever that sex magic is, they still seem to be under the power of it.
One priestess crouches besides James chair, caresses his hair and smiles at him. You grip the stone harder, your magic pulses inside you, the wave of jealousy that takes over you is unexpected. The possessiveness almost overwhelming. James smiles back and kisses her forehead, the tenderness of the kiss makes you take a step forward and as the priestess stands up and leaves, James’ eyes land on you. Those strange, blue eyes root you to the spot for a few seconds. But soon enough you are turning around and leaving. Walking as fast as you can without giving away your presence.
An arm comes around your waist and pulls you against a hard body, you collide against a muscled chest and the air whoofs out of you.
“I told you to stay in your chambers, did I not?” You try to free yourself but is in vain. James’ metal arm holds you in place even when you trash against him. He drags you into the darkness of the hallway “Stop that, Gods”
“Let me go” You say and it sounds louder than you intended. James right hand covers your mouth.
“Stop making so much noise” His breath fans against the back of your neck and goosebumps break all over your skin. You mumble against his hand and he laughs softly “You just can’t stay away, can you?”
You mumble furiously against his hand again and decide to bite him, his hiss of pain sends satisfaction coursing through you “You’re a fucking brute”
James shakes his hand and laughs again “You’re into that? Biting?”
“I’m not…” You start and close your mouth “Let me go!”
“Why? You obviously wanted me to get you”
“I didn’t. Let me go!” You whisper.
James’ arm only tightens around your waist and he hoists you up against his side “Stop. Doing. That” He growls in your ear.
You don’t. You can’t. So you start trying to get away again. But he moves in that unnervingly fast way of his, and you find yourself held against the wall. Your chest and cheek are flush against the cold stone, your nipples harden at the temperature change.
“Gods, just let me go” You whine and squirm between James’ body and the wall. Your eyes widen as you feel the hardness of his body, all of it.
“So you can do what?” He whispers “Are you going to listen to me and stay in your room?”
“I’m not a child” You hiss at him “And you’re supposed to obey me, not the other way around”
“Do you know what happens on a night like this?” James’ question surprises you “Do you know why I asked you to stay in your chamber?”
“No one outside the guards and priestesses know! So, why should I?”
“Because if you’re going to be running around, you should” His hand moves from your waist and up, towards your chest and to your neck. His hand rests at the base of your neck “Our God, our Patron… He gives us some of his magic. This night, each year, we must drink from it. And his magic is power and is lust. Is not sex magic, but is close”
His words make you shiver, you can feel it. The strong magic coursing through his body. It is like a static charge that makes the hair of your arms stand on end “I could feel you as soon as you left that chamber” 
He lets go of you just enough for you to be able to turn around. Next thing you know he’s caging you against the wall, his eyes roaming over you. The low neckline of your nightgown, how your nipples are visible through the flimsy material of it. You swallow hard under James’ scrutiny and your hand flies up, slapping him across the face “You’re a pig”
“And you like it” James voice is soft, low against your ear “I know what jealousy smells like. What possessiveness smells like. And they’re all over you, little witch”
“Don’t call me that” Venom drips from your words, you’re going to slap him again, but James grabs your wrist and pins it against the wall.
“Please, stop slapping me” He damn near growls as he buries his face in your neck “Look, any other night… You’re free to go and come as you please. Even in this little thing of yours. But not tonight”
“I can take care of myself” You tug on your hand “And isn’t that priestess waiting for you somewhere?” The question comes out dripping with jealousy and that unwarranted wave of possessiveness that comes over you every time anyone who isn’t you touches him.
“You know that jealousy of you… It smells so sweet. Makes me wanna do all sort of things to you” You shiver again, and not from the cold.
“You really are a pig, James”
“And you love being a contrarian little thing” His eyes bore into you, and you swallow “I know the way you look at me, because believe me, I look at you the same way. Tonight I am just having a hard time not acting on it”
His eyes fixate on your chest, you move and one of the straps of your nightgown comes down and it rolls just enough that the top of your areola peaks over the neckline. James growls and looks up at you.
“You’re doing it again. Giving me that look”
“What look?” Your voice sounds airy, breathy.
“A look that tells me you want to fuck me and then murder me”
Maybe there’s some of that magic in the air because the next words that come out of you are “If you fuck me good enough, maybe I won’t turn you the pig you really are”
James metal hand comes around your neck and kisses you, rough and hungry. His kiss is like igniting a wildfire inside you, because your arms wrap around his neck pull him closer to you, but James just won’t let you. He cups one of your breasts over your nightgown and squeezes it “You drive me crazy… This night and every other night”
The hand on your chest moves down your side and he starts to tug your nightgown up your legs, uncovering your lower half. There is nothing under it and James clucks his tongue. His tone is chiding and teasing “No undergarments?”
He grips both your thighs and hoists you against the wall, uses his hips  to hold you there and the fabric of his breeches comes in direct contact with your centre. You gasp, and he looks at you, mischief in his eyes and grinds against you, your nails dig onto his shoulders as he does it again and again and again.
“Fuck” You whisper and start rocking your hips, chasing release like those nights you bury your fingers deep inside you and fuck yourself until you’re spent and exhausted, James on the other side of the door.
His hands move up your sides again, this time they’re under your nightgown. One hard and smooth, the plates of his metal arm never catching on your skin. The other warn and calloused. His hands are perfect, big, strong. He circles a nipple with his thumb, leans in and closes his lips around the other over the cloth of your gown, your back arches, and you moan softly “That’s the sound” James praises.
With one last thrust of his hips, the rough cloth of his breeches against your core, dragging over your clit you cum. Is hard and fast, like James. 
Your hands tremble as you untie his breeches, and you stick your hand inside his pants without hesitation, wrap it around his cock.
James is hard as a rock in your hand, warm and alive. You pull him out and lick your lips as you see him in the dim hallway. You stroke him a couple of times and James grunts, low his throat “Fuck me” You demand as you position him against your slit.
He thrusts in and he doesn’t stop until he’s balls deep in you, until you feel him so deep taking in air is hard “By the Gods, I knew you’d look just like this with me buried inside you” His words make you tighten around him. You moan and let your head fall back against the wall.
“Move” You hiss and tighten your legs around his hips. James’ pace is rough and punishing from the start, and he doesn’t relent. He growls your name against your ear and the slap of his hips against yours fills the hallway. His fingers dig into your skin, both flesh and metal. It hurts, but you want it. Want the bite of his nails on your ass and the dull ache of his metal fingers as he holds you and moves against you. You want to look in the mirror tomorrow and see the bruises.
He kisses your neck. Bites it, too and his hips never stop. James moves his flesh hand between your bodies and circles your bundle of nerves, your hips jerk against his hand “I’m…”
James chuckles in your ear “Yes. I know. I know how you sound when you’re ready to cum”
That’s enough to make you cum. Your back arches and you groan, eyes shut tight and feeling the fire lick at your body, it surrounds you and is inside you, too. You gasp when James slaps your clit and pulls out of you, but you’re fast and wrap your hand around his heavy length, slick with your arousal, stroke him until his eyes turn feral and sapphire blue as he cums. The ropes of hot liquid landing on your thighs, and your nightgown, and your lower stomach.
James drags the pointer and middle fingers of his metal hand through the mess on your thighs and then brigs them up, his cum looks pearlescent in the moonlight, and when he goes to whipe them on his breeches you stop him. You take his wrist and bring his fingers to your mouth, you suck on them until they’re clean and keep eye contact as you do.
James sets you down and your legs shake, you feel wobbly. He gives you a knowing smirk as he fixes your nightgown, then pushes his cock, still hard, back into his breeches and with his metal hand around your neck, pulls you into another all consuming kiss, when he pulls back, his eyes tell you that he is not done with you.
“Are you going to turn me into a pig?”
You shrug “Maybe not… I might need more reasons not to”
“I have no problem giving you these reasons here… But, your legs are wobbly already”
You roll your eyes and start walking on those same wobbly legs.
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Congrats on the milestone my love❤️ ok hope I’m doing this right
Party bag 🛍 — Bucky and balloons 🦾🎈
Hey Hanna, thanks for this - it just wanted to be cute and fluffy.
Un-beta'd drabble, approx 1k
Divider by @firefly-graphics
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The squeal of children playing, the squeaking of balloons rubbing against each other, should have been sweet and heart-warming, but unfortunately you found it grating. It was your nephew’s fifth birthday and your sister had begged you to come and help kiddy-wrangle.
Luckily it was a nice day and the party was outside in your sister and brother-in-law’s garden. The kids had a bouncy castle, there was a buffet loaded with food, other parents mingling,a face-painter and the cherry on top? The balloon artist. Okay, he might be the source of the creations that were currently getting on your nerves, but at least he was nice to look at. You were standing by the bouncy castle, your turn to enforce the no shoes and no shoving policy, which most of the little darlings here were quite happily disobeying. As long as no-one broke anything it would be alright. 
A group of boys, who’d all picked balloon swords in blue and green came running past you, hitting at each other.  When would this torture end? At least your current spot allowed you to unobtrusively checkout the balloon modeller. He was not what you’d expected at all. Tall, broad, brunet, young, with a smile that could light up the room. He’d arrived here with the face-painter, a petite, slim red-headed, who he obviously knew very well, but their body language didn’t seem to show an intimate relationship between the two. Not that anything was going to happen. He was a total stranger, but sometimes it’s nice to indulge in fantasy now and again.
Your gaze was constantly drawn to his deft fingers, as he manipulated the brightly coloured latex for the enjoyment of the children. Would they be just as impressive gliding over your skin, between your folds, into your pus…
You were pulled out of your daydream by your sister calling your name. It was time to coral the children so they could eat and then play some sit down games. You hustled 6 or so small humans off the bouncy castle, and towards the main part of the lawn near the buffet table. Having had your responsibilities lifted, at least for the time being, you nipped inside so you could get yourself a drink. As you filled a glass with lemonade, you decided it would be a nice gesture to get one for the entertainers too. Placing the three glasses on the tray you went back outside and walked over to where the face painter and balloon artist were set up.
The red-headed lady took one from you with a smile.
“Thanks, it’s hot out today. I take it you’re related to the birthday boy?”
“Yeah, I’m his aunt.” You gave your name and held out your hand.
“I’m Nat,” she replied, although she refused your offer of a handshake with a chuckle, holding up her hand so you could see the smears of face paint all over it. Instead, she jerked her thumb over her shoulder and pointed at the man you’d spent most of the afternoon fantasising over.
“And this is my friend, Bucky.”
He did shake your hand. It was warm, and fairly smooth although there were a few callouses.
“Bucky…” You tested his name out on your tongue subconsciously, and then felt heat flow to your cheeks. He smiled at you, a teasing glint in his eye.
“That’s the name, doll. Don’t wear it out.”  Then he actually winked and the cheesiness of it broke the tension and you laughed.
“It’s just an unusual name, that’s all.”
“It’s from my middle name, Buchanan. First name’s James and there were loads of other James’ at school and I wanted to stand out. You managed to bite your tongue, but your thought sounded loud and clear in your head.
And I bet you did!
Now you were closer to him you could make out more details. He had stormy grey-blue eyes, and a few freckles down the side of his face. And he wasn’t just broad, he was built! You could see the outline of his muscles under his t-shirt. God, you wanted to rip it off him and trace them with your tongue.
Get a grip, it’s not like you haven’t seen attractive men before…
He took the lemonade off the tray and gulped it down. You were entranced by the column of this throat as he swallowed.
“So, you said Aunt. Is the kid’s Uncle around here somewhere?”
Oh, he’s smooth.
You raised your eyebrow in amusement. He took a step forward, and everything else around you faded away.
“There’s no Uncle.”
“Another Aunt?”
“Only our other sister who couldn’t make it.”
A ruckus coming from across the garden snapped you out of it and you turned just in time to begin singing ‘Happy Birthday.’ You kept throwing Bucky glances from under your eyelashes and nibbling your lower lip. He smiled back at you, hands in his pockets and rocking on his heels.
After the candles were blown out, you took the cake from your sister to carry out the boring job of slicing it up and wrapping a piece for each child to take home with them. Then you had to help supervise pass-the-parcel and pin the tail on the donkey. You were worn out, and by the time you managed to catch your breath, you realised that Nat and Bucky had packed up and gone home. You tried to stifle a flash of disappointment. You’d hoped to speak to the handsome entertainer some more; there had definitely been something there that wasn’t entirely one-sided. As you moved over to tidy up where they’d had their tables you noticed a balloon crown tied to the chair. You picked it up, wondering which child had left it, when you realised something. On the inside of the crown was the name Bucky, followed by a phone number. You popped the crown on your head with a smile and continued cleaning.
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