#Jesus Christ there are so many versions of this name the real oke doesn’t even come up | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

adamarks · 4 years

Note

For the ask game, uh... the entirety of boys will be bugs? 😂

Hello anon!! What a depressing fic to ask for dvd commentary on jgrhrhshshsj

Read the non-annotated version of this fic here on ao3!

It’s two in the morning and I’m crying over a toaster.

This fic was literally just me being fuckin sad. Like it’s just me being an angsty bitch. Comments that I’ve gotten calling it in character baffle me bc I’m like bitch this is very poorly disguised. I wouldn’t call this baby my magnum opus.

Not as in the toaster made me cry. As in I’m crying and watching tear drops hit the toaster as I wait for my bread toast.

Lol mood.

I try not to cry as much anymore.

PSA everyone: crying is a good thing. Dont restrict urselves.

Doesn’t really work. Now I just cry when I’m alone so I don’t have to bug them.

Lol get it? Bug.

I say “them.”

Woof.

Baz has pretty much given up on talking to me anymore. All I get are sad looks that make me feel like garbage.

Such drama.

Are we even still dating? I don’t fucking know. Probably not.

😬😬😬😬😬😬

I choke down a sob.

Someday I’ll write a songfic thats not excruciatingly depressing. Someday.

I mean, it’s my fault, isn’t it? I pushed him away. And I wasn’t good enough.

Jesus Christ what kind of sad shot was I on when I wrote this.

I hug my arms tight. Keep myself together.

I’m falling apart.

Who am I kidding? I’m already in pieces.

Bro wtf. I haven’t read this in forever. Wtf was I up to. Y am I so sad.

The toast pops up and a tear lands on one slice.

Oh god soggy toast. The real horror in this fic.

I take it out and start piling pats of butter onto a piece. I keep piling until I can’t see any bread from under all the butter. I lift my shoulder and wipe a cheek before I smoosh the other piece on top.

Ive done this exact paragraph verbatim. Write what u know.

Butter sandwich.

These are actually delicious. The butter stays half cold. Yum.

Tadah.

Tadah~

I sit on the floor and rub my sleeve across my nose. I take a bite.

When u be having those days bad enough to live in snot sleeves

The bread is warm. The butter is starting to melt. It’s cold in the middle. I’d be in heaven if I weren’t having a mental breakdown.

They’re DELICIOUS. Also this paragraph is the biggest ADHD mood I’ve ever written.

I slowly scoot so I can lie down while I eat. I stare at the ceiling as tears drip into my ears.

That shit is always so annoying. It like tickles.

I feel like shit. I feel like shit. I feel like shit.

I am shit.

Simon ):

I sob and almost choke on a hunk of sandwich. Eating and crying is dangerous.

Facts only

Something flickers in my periphery and I turn my head to look at the little light above the sink. A moth keeps flitting around the bulb.

A FRIEND

My wings are shoved uncomfortably behind my back. Fucking things. I shift them a bit.

Me and my like 2 canon compliant fics. I just love aus so bad.

Guess Mr. Moth up there can’t lie on his back either. Nor was he born with wings.

I hate this line. Don’t ask me why

He probably doesn’t resent his. Made his life easier.

This line annoys me but it’s ok

Well, now he wastes his time trying to jab himself into the light. So maybe it’s not that much easier.

This fic is what happens when you listen to a song about bugs and teenage angst one too many times. I’m not a teenager I don’t have teenage angst anymore. Wtf

My tears have stopped flowing, but my cheeks are still wet. I keep watching the moth.

Hhhh

My throat is sore. My eyes feel tired.

I name the moth Humphrey.

Wow what a fuckin great name. My and Simon’s brains..... so powerful......

It’s three a.m. when I go back to bed.

I really like my penchant for writing one shots with utterly unsatisfying endings. Life rarely has satisfying wrap ups my dude.

#im allergic to my own sad shit #achoo #my fic #long post #id do read more guys but pc fucks up the formatting

15 notes · View notes

after-lauhgter · 3 years

Note

Hey dude, I really like your music taste so do all the music questions that you didn't already answer 🌚

OK DUDE HERE THEY COME (except 1,6 & 14) ... ok lets do number 1 again What's a song you've been listening to a lot lately? as the world caves in by Matt Maltese, if I get high by nothing but thieves, and literally anything off waterparks’ new live album, that thing makes me feel so ALIVE bc like LIVE MUSIC Is there an album you recently discovered and are obsessed with it now? well waterparks live in the uk obviously but if the last 6 months count as recently, then the new abnormal by the strokes. its... absolutely breathtaking. I don't have words. 0 words. except these dudes know what the fuck they’re doing. and then I found the devil and god are raging inside me by brand new and jeeesus. literally Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ was my most played song in 2020 AS IT SHOULD BE bc its EVERYTHING this album is THE SHIT. every song is just *chef kiss* like there's limousine (omg limousine) and you won't know and not the sun and AHH listen to these albums omg Put your playlist on shuffle and show the first 10 songs. No cheating. i assume “your playlist” means all my saved songs so Topography by Civilian (pls go listen its SO great) Na Na Na by mcr yees issa classic Du schreibst Geschichte by Madsen omg geeerman just saying by EDEN (pretty pretty pretty) Westerland von den Ärzten another classic letdown by nothing,nowhere. sad but the good kind of sad The Man by the killers making fun of toxic masculinity gives me LIFE Graffiti by CHVRCHES YES and death stranding by CHVRCHES too YES SO GOOD simmer by Hayley Williams, a queen How do you tend to discover new music? If you do at all of course I do enjoy what Spotify suggests, like my weekly mix brought a lot of bops in the past, although sometimes it just sucks lets be real. I also like the artist- or album-radio, when I wanna find something similar to an album but not the album. and another thing I lovvve is when artists I like recommend music, for example, have you seen dallon weekes instagram stories? THE TASTE? bc yes, someone who writes music like that MUST have a superior taste in music and he fucking does.

What app do you mostly use to listen to music? Spotify :) Is there an artist that you feel ashamed of listening too? I can't think of anyone so probably not What is your favorite album cover art? omg. I have to go with more than one. so there's where the mind wants to go/where you let it go by I the mighty, one of my favorite albums of all time, and I'm going to say it how it is, I LIKE THE COLORS. the blue-ish imagine with the red omg. look at it pls. Also fandom by waterparks looks SO COOL. again the COLORS and I love the art for Isola by Kent. I recently discovered you wouldn't believe what privilege costs by civilian and I think that cover is pretty cool too. well and then there's petals for armor by Hayley Williams, the cover art is so fucking powerful Jesus I get goosebumps just thinking about it. in case you don't know about it, long story short: there's been a lot of shit going on in Hayleys life in the past. relatable imo. then they made after laughter and its been like u know what fuck it we’ll just laugh and dance through the pain. together. and I LOVED the vibe omg it gave me so much. but for Hayley it kinda postponed REALLY dealing with shit. she came home from touring with AL and she also got divorced during the AL era and everything's shit and out of all that came petals for armor. and in it she reclaims femininity, being alone, being powerful, being a women, everything. and ah yeah we were talking about the cover art, the cover is her, having a line of squares on her face, three of these squares are tattooed on her fingers though bc its where her ex husbands initials used to be that she got covered up. WHAT A MOVE. THE POWER. (if anyone is interested in hearing Hayley talking about/explaining all this, I really recommend watching her interview with zane Lowe. its SO GOOD basically free therapy) How much did your parents influence your music taste? a. lot. my dad listened to a lot of “dad rock” you may call it, I guess a lot of dads listened to stuff similar to this. Deep Purple, the police, simple minds, Green Day, Billy Talent, the scorpions and things like that. what influenced me the most tho was the beatsteaks (german band, very good), die Ärzte (german band, very good) and LAST BUT NOT LEAST the fricking blues brothers. my favorite movie (not the 2000 remake, go watch that in hell where it belongs), a great, charismatic band, unbelievable live performances. very big WOW from me. Do you own any vinyl? don't get me started omg. I DO. I wish I could take a photo but my records are at my parents house so ill just name my favorites. -after laughter and brand new eyes by paramore -violent things by the brobecks and their song boring on 7inch (this is very rare ok) -razzzzmatazzz by idkhow in gold :) -may death never stop you by mcr (my first one, I bought it first and then bought a record player for it, that's how it started lol) -omg the black parade is dead by mcr, this was never available on vinyl until record store day 2019 (?) and I hunted that bitch like idek what it was insane but I found a super cute small record store and the owner didn't have copies of it bc NOBODY DID but he fucking CALLED THE LABEL even though it was way too late and he asked if they'd send him a copy and THEY DID I FUCKING OWE THIS MAN -and omg Isola by Kent (in Swedish tho bc the English version was never pressed on vinyl) this was intense. I searched for like 2 weeks and then, on google results page 8 or something, I found what could've been the only copy on the damn internet and it was very expensive but its MINE NOW -my signed vertigo vinyl by EDEN, its clear and on side D it doesn't have music but a little message engraved it the vinyl IT IS CUTe -Placebos MTV unplugged! I am so I love with this album. SO. in love. and one day, when I was in Berlin to see palaye royale, back when we had concerts, I walked by a random record store and they have like 4 records left bc they were closing or idk and the only one displayed in the window was this one. tell me about FATE Do you own any cds? not many. sometimes when im at the store and I see ones I know or like, I just buy them and put them in me moms car bc I want her to listen to them. or when I find a cd by a smaller artist I enjoy, I buy it just to push the nachfrage. HI i am HERE and I WANT this music Is vinyl really better than listening on a digital device? im not gonna be that middle aged white male audiophile that hates on our generation for using Spotify. bc its great. I think its just different. I mean im sorry I don't carry my record player on the bus with me, pls forgive me for using my phone? having immediate access to most of the music that is out there? wow. what a concept. I love the internet. YES TECHNOLOGY. but. vinyls are... different. I feel likes its a different kind of listening. I feel like youre rly LISTENING. and that way isn't better, or right, and im not saying it works like this for everyone. but when I put a record on, my only activity at that moment is listening to music, I sit down and I listen. to the entire album. so skips and no pauses, bc that's how it works. and I think that sometimes, that can do a lot for you. if you let it. and besides that, physically owning a record makes me happy on a level nothing else really does. fuck I love music so much and when I fall in love with it, I fall hard. and then owning a copy of it, something I can touch, something that is MINE, putting it in my little shelf, looking at it every few days and just being in love? fantastic feeling. What is a genre of music that you tend to go to for comfort? sad shit. I feel like I can get great comfort from the sad shit. or maybe just slow shit. and songs that mean a lot to me and have been around me for some time, they have this other level of comfort. like for Emma, forever ago by bon iver for example. I have a playlist, maybe I'll reblog this again and link it ;) Do you tend to like poppy upbeat songs, or more intricate and interesting songs? both. sometimes I wanna have complicated stuff and analyze the shit out of lyrics and instrumentation, sometimes I just wanna v i b e If you have a favorite band or artist, tell us about how you got into them I liked paramore before but when they posted the video of them performing last hope at reading? it was over. when Hayley sang the bridge it was over. now im a die hard fan and I never looked back Is there a song that came out this year that you like? maybe after reading all this shit you expected a list but somehow I can't. where do u even start. but the answer is definitely yes. THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING I COULD GO ON FOR DAYS

#asks #music #i guess #not me putting I guess after my tags all the time #I like guessing #questioning everything is a lifestyle

1 note · View note

manifestoonmoralmanlove · 4 years

Text

Gormless Ch. 13 – Everything’s awful but lesbians are in fact REAL

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband. In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England. Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag. She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon. He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok. Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything. Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government. She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

Last time on Gormless:

Turns out a preserved corpse of a Soulless person that the Kingair pack stole from Egypt is causing the humanization problem. However somebody is after that coprse, and knocked LeFoux and Lord Maccon unconscious. Alexia gonna have to fix everything herself HURMPH!

Chapter 13 – Everything’s awful but lesbians are in fact REAL

Wowzers! Here’s the climax chapter. It won’t be the height of tension, but it will be the height of my irritated confusion. My apologies for length, it was a long chapter, and full of a lot of bullshit. LET’S GO!

We get a rare good moment where Alexia looks at the passed out Maccon and worries about him. She makes a cute note about how his eyelashes are super long and once when she commented that she was jealous of his long eyelashes he tickled her neck with them. This will be the last genuinely good thing in this chapter.

Alexia goes to a recently woken up LeFoux. LeFoux is all distraught, and there’s a bullshit line about how being upset made her look slightly more feminine and Alexia, “Didn’t know if she liked that.”

CAUSE SADNESS IS A WOMAN DISEASE AND ALEXIA ONLY CARES WHAT LEVEL OF CURRENT FUCKIBLITY YOU ARE! THE LEVEL OF EGOMANIA ON THIS BITCH!

LeFoux is like, “Hey don’t be mad at the woman who shot me and your husband. She didn’t ~mean~ it.”

YES TURNS OUT THE BIG BAD OF THIS BOOK SERIES I FUCKING CALLED BACK IN CHAPTER 4 OF THE LAST BOOK! It was Angelique! GOSH WHAT A FUCKING TWIST! YOU KNOW THE CHARACTER WHO, AT THE END OF THE LAST BOOK WAS DESCRIBED IN TEXT AS A BLATANT SPY! Yet the entirety of this book Alexia thinks its LeFoux and goes so far as to think she’s faking being shot? She turns out of the room and all the werewolves are sleeping and instead of…I DON’T KNOW letting them know she’s identified the attacker? She just huffs that she must do everything herself.

GOD STUPIDITY AND A POINTLESS MARTYR COMPLEX IS REALLY FUCKING HOT! ALSO I’M GLAD THAT EVERY SINGLE WEREWOLF FELT COMFORTABLE FALLING ASLEEP WITH AN ACTIVE SHOOTER IN THEIR CASTLE THAT WAS EVEN ABLE TO PUT DOWN THEIR FORMER ALPHA!

So Alexia goes to the room where the mummy is, but Angelique is not there. So instead of disposing of the body that Angelique is clearly after, she’s runs up to the Aethongrapher room. Angelique is there and shoves her aside to escape the room. So they go back to the mummy room, and Angelique is trying to drag the body out of there. Alexia goes to shoot some of her sleepy darts at Angelique but just as she’s about to Ivy shows up to stand in front of Alexia and whine that Alexia is being callous to her. But as I have described before, this is not Ivy’s fault. Ivy’s kink is inconvenient timing. Blithering obtusely in front of a weapon while the bad guy gets away makes her CUM. The TV hasn’t been invented yet so she can’t stand in front of it during a crucial part of a show/game. SHE HAS TO FIND SOME WAY TO GET OFF!

DO YOU WANT THIS WOMAN TO NEVER ORGASM!?

Despite that Alexia is able to catch up to Angelique and knocks her unconscious with a hefty umbrella swing. She takes the mummy outside, and dissolves it using the acid function on her umbrella. I mean, I was hoping she’d go whole hog and it would come to life and fight them but WELP guess that would be stupid fun and we’re only allowed one of those things in this book and it ain’t fun. When the corpse is just about pudding, Alexia goes back in and hears Ivy scream.

OH NO!

We take a break from this regularly scheduled programming to swap over to Biffy, Channing, and Lyall at the Westminster Hive. Biffy apparently snuck in and broke their Aethonographer. This is just to let us all know that the message Angelique tried to send before didn’t get through. I mean targeting the Aethongrapher only, doesn’t make any sense AT ALL from their perspective and honestly you could have written the entire thing out to tighten up the story. But like I guess it was real important to have that bit where Alexia has to try 2 rooms to find Angelique.

FUCK ME RUNNING!

So Ivy screamed because a woken up Angelique puts a knife to Ivy’s throat and is leading her up the stairs. All the werewolves are there as well as Tunstell. Tunstell gets out the magic gun, which by the way they start calling the ‘tun tun’ which makes a lot of sense and is totes keeping it tense. Shouldn’t it be the tun gun? WHATEVER!

They go up to a room and Angelique makes Ivy open a window. Meanwhile Tunstell tries to sneak around the side while Alexia tries to distract her. By the way this is the first time we hear that Tunstell is apparently a big dude. I had totally assumed that since he was described as a meek servant/actor coated in freckles that he was a 5’5” adorable waif boy who weighs 110 lbs on a good day. I’m glad you waited till now to tell us that. After a bit of a scuffle Tunstell wrestles the knife away, saves Ivy, and Angelique tumbles to her death out the window. The gun is never shot and Chekov leaps out to die on the cold hard Scottish earth like Angelique.

Apparently there was a rope ladder leading down that window that Angelique was really hoping she’d be able to escape down, with the knife to the throat of a hostage? OKAY THEN! When Angelique woke up, why didn’t she just try to make a break for it, to avoid being persecuted by the supernatural police? What was the point of the hostage thing? Why did she have this rope ladder prepared?

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST BOOK! IT’S NOT GOOD ACTION IF THE ENTIRETY OF IT FALLS APART LIKE A BISCUIT IN TEA WHEN YOU ASK LITERALLY ANY QUESTION REGARDING IT!

You know what would have been a thousand times better? If Alexia goes to question a recently recovered Angelique, and Angelique in a panic puts a knife to a dipshit Ivy’s throat by a window. Angelique demands to be given the body. Alexia explains that she destroyed it. Angelique at first doesn’t want to believe it but eventually concedes. Saying something along the lines of, “…If I can’t deliver the body…then…then they’ll kill me…” The people there try to reassure her that they can protect her. However in Angelique’s stunned grief she slips from the window, Tunstell is able to grab Ivy but not Angelique. Was it an accident? Did she want to die on her own terms? WE’LL NEVER KNOW? The chapter ends where the crowd goes to check on her and Angelique is FOR SURE dead. LeFoux seeing the shattered body of her former lover, clutches Alexia and wails.

BUT NOPE IN FACT THIS HAPPENS NEXT!

So Alexia is the only one to go check the body. Angelique is in fact dead, but turns into a ghost. Angelique tells Alexia to perform the exorcism, which means kill her for real real. Alexia wants questions answered first. Angelique says she’ll answer 10, Alexia agrees to this.

So like…why are you going to respect her wishes now? Doesn’t she need to be persecuted under the law, or have proof of the Hive’s wrongdoing? You maybe want to give LeFoux a chance to talk to her, since she was obviously really upset and protective of her before? GUESS NOT!

Angelique, before the questioning is revealed to have done this whole task for the immortality, since she previously and is still working with the Westminster hive. She is GIVEN immortality in the form of being a ghost and is immediately like NOPE I’D RATHER DIE. HUHHHH? MAYBE IT’S NOT IDEAL VAMPIRE THING BUT REALLY?

GOD WHATEVER IT JUST GETS WORSE ANYWAY!

Angelique says that it wasn’t her who tried to break into her bag or poison her. Alexia asks if LeFoux is trying to kill her, Angelique says probably not cause you’d already be dead. AND LIKE WE ESTABLISHED THIS EXACT ANSWER TO THIS SAME QUESTION BEFORE. WHY ARE YOU WASTING YOUR QUESTIONS YOU COMPLETE IMBECILE!

It’s revealed that Quensel, the kid LeFoux was taking poor care of before, is Angelique’s son. Angelique was trying to hide the fact she had a son from the vampires cause the vampires won’t turn her if she has any family. Apparently LeFoux, was trying to get Angelique to take care of her son and to stop the vampire biz by threatening to tell the Vampires about her son. That didn’t work apparently. We also confirm that yes, SHOCK OF SHOCK, Angelique and LeFoux used to be an item for many years. So we have this OH SO DELIGHTFUL paragraph:

“Alexia had seen something of the kind in her father’s collection, but she had never imagined it might be based on anything more than masculine wistfulness or performances put on to titillate a John’s palate. That two women might do such things voluntarily with one another and do so with some degree of romantic love. Was that possible?”

(Irritated Stare with the phrase [stares in gay judgement])

You’re 26 years fucking old, you’re well aware that gay men exist, LeFoux has been hitting on her blatantly this entire book and has been pretty much screaming how much of a lesbian she is. Like you can have Alexia in bi-denial, sure, but for her not to even realize two girls can have sex and romance at one another outside of men JACKING IT!? FUCKING WOW! I want to be clear and say that there is a myth that Queen Victoria didn’t think lesbians were real when she was enforcing the no homosexuality laws. TO BE CLEAR THAT IS A MYTH! PEOPLE IN VICTORIAN TIMES KNEW LESBIANS WEREN’T JUST A MALE CREATED HORNY MYTH LIKE HOW WOMEN LOVE THE TASTE OF JIZZ, YOU THICK-HEADED TWIT!

The last questions that Alexia asks basically are, “Is it possible for women to love each other?” and “You’re a cold bitch aren’t you?” QUEEN PICKED TOP INVESTIGATOR HERE! She then FOR REAL kills Angelique. Also I’m glad she didn’t ask Angelique what they were planning on doing with the humanization corpse, because that mystery is probably what the entirety of the 3rd book is about.

So we head back in the castle to try to wrap this all up, and boy is it pointlessly messy. I’m going to recount the items in order, so you TOO can realize what a clusterfuck this is.

Alexia tells LeFoux that Angelique is dead which makes LeFoux cry. Alexia has a normal human response to seeing a woman she likes grieving.

“Lady Maccon envied her skill of crying with aplomb. She herself went all over splotchy, but Madame Lefoux seemed to be able to execute the emotional state with minimal fuss.”

By performing some pretty sweet mental gymnastics to make it about herself. CONGRATULATIONS! She does later say that the scene was painfully sad…but…your first thought, and the one you dedicate more than a sentence to is… “I wish I could cry as hot as she could?” MOTHER OF FUCK LADY!

Maccon takes Alexia aside and explains that LeFoux and he are besties despite not interacting with her at all this entire book. He told his BFF4EVAH to keep an eye on Alexia. Don’t know why he would have lied about this? Maybe Alexia would have felt patronized? Alexia was attacked 5 times last book and needed to be saved 3 of those times. There’s nothing wrong with that ratio, but there’s also nothing wrong with wanting to have back up if you’re in a dangerous profession. Besides that the two both love science and gadgets, and if he couldn’t predict that LeFoux would awaken his wife’s bisexuality too, it seems silly to lie to her about it.

But my pity for Alexia runs dry again when, upon hearing Maccon and LeFoux are buds…she accuses Maccon of sleeping with LeFoux. And it’s like…

(Honestly, you people, and by that I mean straight people…are ridiculous.)

If Alexia is bi, it don’t matter she’s still in denial and acting like a straight up straighty.

You just found out that lesbians are real and that LeFoux is one of them, and YOU were the one to almost cheat on him with her, and you ACCUSE HIM? Are you FOR REAL!? I mean this is just a set up for Alexia to realize SOME MORE that lesbians are real. I’m glad I’m reading one of those books where everything needs to be explained 5 times.

Alexia brings up the fact that Angelique turned into a ghost but exorcised her right away without considering if literally anybody else wanted to talk to her INCLUDING THE LONG-TERM –EX-GIRLFRIEND WHO WAS RAISING HER KID. LeFoux is rightly upset at this and Alexia retorts with

“There’s no need to wallow.”

Now even Lord Maccon steps in like, “THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, SHE’S RIGHTLY UPSET!” To which Aleixa points out OH SO RIGHTLY that LeFoux didn’t want to be girlfriends with Angelique again, so like…it makes no sense why she’d want to have some parting words or care about her living or dying.

THEN THIS TRANSITION SHEESH VERBATIM:

Lord Maccon looked at his wife appreciatively. “Good Lord, woman, how could you have possibly known that?”

“Well” – Lady Maccon grinned – “Madame Lefoux here did play a bit of the coquette with me while we were traveling. I do not think she was entirely shamming.”

I’m sorry what? We already established that LeFoux is a vagatrian and had a relationship with Angelique. Is she saying the fact she was flirted with PROOF that LeFoux is not in a relationship? Alexia, you were flirting back and you’re married. This is not a brilliant deduction. We only have this transition so that Alexia can brag about almost BUT NOT ACTUALLY cheating on her husband. And like…it’s one thing to take the piss out of him because he’s irrationally jealous. However Alexia herself was like REALLY, REALLY irrationally jealous a second ago and it’s not really irrational since Alexia might have had sex with her if she came to the conclusion earlier that girls can like other girls. SoOOoOOoOOoo great!

We continue to have pissing contests. Maccon is mad that Alexia never told him she was almost poisoned, even though you’d THINK Tunstell would have brought that up to him since he’s his servant and he was the one actually poisoned. LeFoux admits she was looking around for Alexia’s bag and that she wanted the humanization weapon too. However she wants it NOT because she’s in the Hypocras club, but in the Organization of the Brass Octopus (OBO.) The Organization of the Brass Octopus is a secret group of Scientists that is working to curb the power of Supernaturals and that the Hypocras Club was a ~militant branch~ of the OBO. Alexia is bothered that Maccon didn’t tell her about OBO, since YANNO Alexia spent half the book thinking that her crush LeFoux wanted to genocide people like her husband. Which yanno REALLY STOPPED HER FROM A LOT THERE! Alexia tries to ask more questions about OBO and Maccon just answers them all with, “But it’s a secret!”

Really love that Maccon gets super mad when Alexia doesn’t talk to him, but when she asks questions he huffs and won’t tell her. You could maybe argue that since it’s a secret society thing that Maccon shouldn’t tell her. He was sworn to secrecy or some shit. But like also…a branch of this club nearly killed them both… and she’s in charge of the entire English government’s Supernatural balance system….Maybe it’s okay for her to know a little about a powerful organization in that country that’s supposed to do the same thing?

WHATEVER!

We end with LeFoux admitting she was LOOKING FOR Alexia’s bag but never went through it or messed up her room to find it. Alexia for once has a normal reaction which boils down to, “FUCK THIS SHIT!” and storms out. CAUSE WHY BRING UP SHE WAS LOOKING FOR IT AT ALL? That is pointlessly confusing.

So below I made a little chart with how easily it could have been to make this conversation flow better. Even if you want to keep in jealousy pissing contest which is also an EVEN WOMEN WOULD SEX ME STUPID HUSBAND!

I’ll admit I don’t know a lot about editing books…but I feel as if either the editors gave this a soft touch. It seems like a simple fix that could have tightened it up and made it an easier read.

Say something nice Faps:

It was technically a climax

They technically tried to wrap things up

It has been acknowledged that yes LESBIANS ARE REAL

I did genuinely like Alexia having a vulnerable moment looking upon her knocked out husband and feeling protective of him.

#gormless #senseless #riffs #riffing

1 note · View note

finallybeingyuri · 5 years

Text

My hot take on “Mourning over the ‘death’of your loved one” Transgender Edition

Let me get this straight right off the bat folks.

I’m trans and the reason I’m writing this is because I’ve been having a hard time with the fact that certain people in my life are “mourning” over me since I came out to them.

Most of this is a rant but also just me trying to voice my opinion on the matter ( at least from a semi Christian perspective because I am a Christian and the people I’m referring to have the same beliefs as me so if that’s not your cup of tea please feel free to disregard this post. And also I say ‘semi- Christian perspective’ because I use biblical parallels to get my point across).

I feel almost led to post this here,on this hell site, in the off chance that it might help someone feeling the same way as me. There a quite a number of transgendered people that come from religious backgrounds or upbringings and if I can even relate to anyone out there that feels the way I do, caught in a whirlwind battle of what I believe and who I truly am, then I’ll feel like I’ve done something right by posting this.

So please bear with me as I explain myself.

So a couple weeks ago at my local trans support group my friend sat in on the group that they have just for SOFFA’s ( significant others,friends,family,allies). My friend sees things from a very ‘trans point of view’ as I’ll call it. He is a very great ally :)

But after the support group,on our way home, he expressed how upset he was at the things they said in the group. Most of it was that they had told the SOFFA’s it’s “ok to mourn over the death of your loved one.” And he was just very frustrated at the fact that they kept referring to us as “dead” because we weren’t.

At the time it didn’t bother me much but I agreed with him. Later as I was telling my best friend about his experience she said something akin to “ I am mourning over you right now” and it’s at that point is when I got frustrated. At the end of our conversation we came to a decision, where we may not ever understand how the other feels about it and that’s ok.

And yes I still think that it is ok, but at the same time the fact that she’s mourning me has been digging at me a lot. And as it may be pointless to try to convince her to see things the way I see them,there’s still one more thing I have to say on the subject and then I’ll let it be.

I had a revelation last night, after venting my frustrations of my estranged best friendship to another friend. And I had said something that just seemed to pop into my head at the moment, and it was the reason why I was so frustrated with my best friend. It was like God had finally let the words come to me.(this was after a very moving church service)

I ranted to my friend the following:

“I can’t understand why I’m being mourned over!! Why can’t they understand that my life hasn’t ended but it’s just beginning??!! They are putting the old me up on this fake pedestal and worshiping it and mourning it while I’ve been trying my entire life to tear that person down! To try to be the real me! Yet they want to have the person I made specifically for them,the mask I wore just for them. To please them and not myself!

“That person was a liar! That person hated them self! That person was on the verge of ending their life multiple times because the pain of knowing how much living authentically to myself would hurt others around me.”

“How my faith, the very thing I believe at my core,disagreed with how I felt. Stop glorifying them because yea they may have meant something to you but it was the very thing I hated!”

“I’m not dead! I’m finally free! I’m finally living my life after 21 long years! I just don’t understand!”

“It’s like when people continue to mourn the death of Christ or dwell on the death on the cross. Why are you mourning over the death of Christ ?? Jesus isn’t dead! He rose and he is alive!! Don’t cry over an empty grave, you won’t find him there! Jesus never wanted us to be burdened by the cross, that’s why he took the burden for us! He wanted us to live! To live our lives unhindered and true to ourselves!”

“I’m not dead! I’m still alive!! For the first time in my life I’m finally living! Don’t cry over an empty grave, because the old me isn’t there!”

“The old me is dancing,celebrating,and crying out in joy that they finally came to a point where they don’t have to hide anymore! That they can finally focus on themselves than the needs of others. And I want desperately for everyone I love to be doing the same as well. Because I know Jesus is. The fact that I’ve felt more of the Holy Spirit now than the last 5 years is a testament to that.”

It felt AMAZING to get that off of my chest and afterwards, on the way home,I realized that I finally found the reason why I was so frustrated with my best friend.

Her and I grew up in the same religious background,same beliefs,and ideas on life. She had always been my number one confidante in everything and she understood me. However since coming out I felt like she thought my faith was fake, wasn’t as strong as hers, and it was a twisted version of what it should be.

And I was getting frustrated that it felt like she couldn’t understand that my faith was the exact same as hers. I felt like she didn’t understand the constant struggle I have everyday because of what my religion says about being trans.

In a religion that encourages us to celebrate in the death of our savior, I couldn’t figure out why she wouldn’t do the same for me. Celebrate in the aftermath of my supposed “death”.

Because of Jesus’ death we are able to live our lives without the burden of sin, fully and happily knowing he has our back no matter what.

Because of coming out we are able to finally live. We are able to finally love like Jesus wanted us to love, with our entire being, and not a watered down version of ourselves. Our relationships are able to flourish because when we are true to ourselves we can be true to other people.

Even if to her I’m “dead” don’t mourn me, but celebrate for me. In a way mourning for us is selfish act on their part.

People who mourn for who you where are ignorant. Ignorant in the fact that they actively choose not to see that you are out there finally living your best life. They choose not to see how happy you are, how you look at your self with a little more love each day, how you value life much more now than before, and how you are basically glowing all the time at just the thought that you are you!

All they want to hold on to is the lie that somehow means so much to them. Somehow it means more to them than the overflowing confidence you have now. And somehow it makes it feel like they value the old you over who you are now. Like they don’t know who you are. “Where is my loved one?” they ask whilst looking them right in the face.

Mourning over me makes me feel de-humanized. Like the words “dead” doesn’t hurt when you say them to my face. Like I’m dead in the ground like I’ve been wanting to be way too many times before. Like you, the one I love,is tying the noose,pulling the trigger,pushing me off the building,sharpening the razors,telling me to starve myself further. Don’t try to pin it on you and say you are going through a hard time, because you haven’t lived being trans,you don’t know the hell we live in our minds at times. All we want is to be happy with our loved ones, to be accepted.

Significant others, friends, and families of transgendered people... as a trans man who has been told to his face he is being mourned,that I’m dead, that I can’t even hear my chosen name and pronouns from one of the people I revere most because they are still mourning, please just think for a minute how we feel and how it must feel to be considered dead when you are more than surely alive. My best friend wasn’t even as torn up by her mourning over me as I’m sure isn’t the case for a lot of others.

Think about why you value that old person over the one fighting to live in front of you. Is it because of the memories you had together? They are living their life finally true to themselves so there are many more memories to be made if not better ones!

Is it because they helped you in your worst times? They are still the same caring person as before if not more so because they care more about themselves by coming out!

And if you value was placed solely on their gender you need to re-evaluate how you perceive people because there is way more to a person than their gender.

At this point even if my best friend still doesn’t understand how I feel. I’m ok. Let her mourn. I’m done making myself upset over this and I’m ready to move on.Jesus has given me peace. I’ve said my two cents. And I hope this helped someone, if not there’s nothing wrong with screaming you frustrations into the void that is this hell site.

#personal rant #ftm #transgender #trans #suicide tw #long post #ill honestly be surprised if anyone actually reads this #grammar errors galore

9 notes · View notes

dancingwithdylan21 · 6 years

Text

No Longer You

Summary: Now a shell of her former self, the reader runs into an old flame.

Pairing: Stiles x Reader

Word Count: 1,781

Warning: implying an abusive relationship

Green cancels out red.

Yellow cancels out purple and brown…no purple and blue.

And lavender cancels out…yellow?

Jesus Christ. This shouldn’t be that difficult, hiding the evidence of your home life is now a normal occurrence. The three concussions you’ve acquired over the years must be catching up to you.

You’re squinting harshly at the Revlon concealers on the top shelf before you at the supermarket. Trying and failing to remember which ones work the best, basically whatever hides the fucking truth.

Your exhausted brain is practically mush at this point in time, you used to know this shit. You used to know a lot of shit. You used to be a strong, independent take no bullshit kind of a woman that took care of herself. But things clearly change. People fucking change.

You’re feeling a bit woozy at the moment, either from the lack of food or from the lack of focus, you’re not sure which. Moving backwards you try to control your balance, causing you to stumble into an older woman passing by.

“Oh! I’m sorry!” You spin around to apologize, immediately regretting the fast movement.

“You ok, honey?” The woman asks eyeing you too closely for your liking.

The automatic judgement is something you’ve become accustomed to over the years. You’re convinced it chips off a piece of your pathetic heart each time.

“I’m fine. Thanks.” You barely mumble turning away from her in the makeup aisle. You can still feel unwelcomed eyes on you, aggravated you silently command yourself to just breathe.

“Y/N?”

You freeze from the sound of your name although you’re more concerned with the deep voice saying it. It can’t be him…can it? For the love of all things holy, please let it not be him.

“Y/N?” Stiles slightly hesitates, awkwardly staring as if you’ll run away any second.

You turn around painfully slow, stalling what’s about to take place. Your eyes lock, immediately waking something in you that you’ve been suppressing for years. Hope.

“Stiles.” You let out a heavy sigh as your chest tightens, you struggle wanting the pressure to dissipate as quickly as it came. Your body’s way of warning you, an asthma attack is on the horizon.

Out of habit, your eyes dart around the aisle, clearly paranoid about your surroundings. You quickly scan the area, assessing what you can. Where you are, who’s around, what’s being said and who’s listening.

“Wow. It’s been awhile.” He half heartedly chuckles, trying to keep his shocked reaction at bay. If it wasn’t for your sweet voice catching his attention, Stiles would have kept strolling right by you. Completely and totally oblivious that the love of his life is near.

“Yeah…six years.” You offer him your best fake smile, praying that time has ruined Stiles’ memory of you.

He doesn’t react, at least not in a negative way. Did he become an amazing actor? Or did he forget the look of your real smile? Either way, it makes you both relieved and disappointed. Stop it, Y/N. The last thing you want or need is to trap Stiles fucking Stilinski into this shitshow you call a life.

“What are you doing here? Last I heard you moved to...I think New York...for an architect job?” Ugh. You can barely remember shit anymore. It doesn’t help that you moved a few towns over, cutting off all ties with everyone that you cared about.

Stiles’ stomach drops, his mouth turns dry and he’s debating if he should tell you the truth. Worried what your reaction will be, he nervously decides against it. At least for now. You’ll find out soon enough what he’s been doing with his life. He silently makes that promise to you.

“Yeah. Scott and Alison still live close by with their daughter Kelly. She just turned two years old and they’re having a big party for her. So I’m just visiting everyone.”

“Huh. I bet they make great parents.” You mutter glaring down at your gorgeous, princess cut diamond ring that’s fucking mocking you. It’s become the only bright, attractive thing left in your god damn world.

“Yup they do.” Stiles nods following your gaze down to the giant rock on your bony finger.

“You’ve obviously settled down yourself. Any rugrats?”

��Nah…no kids. Its not something I want.” You shrug nonchalantly, eyes fixating on anything but your ex boyfriend.

“Really? You always wanted kids. Or at least one.” Stiles frowns eyeing you suspiciously. Shit.

“You couldn’t wait to have a little boy so you could dress him up in baseball caps and skull t-shirts.” Stiles snickers at the memory, your face would light up when you used to talk about it.

“Things change.” You add softly, realizing he will never know the actual truth.

Stiles barely nods in response, the restraint it’s taking to keep his mouth shut is nearly killing him. He doesn’t know specifics but he knows for sure that something isn’t fucking right.

Stiles has missed you terribly since the breakup, the amount of regret he deals with on a daily basis is sometimes overwhelming. It doesn’t matter how much whiskey he knocks back or how many girls he takes to bed, you’re always hiding in the corner of his mind.

And now here you are in the flesh, standing before him and you’re not her. It’s a total mindfuck, to be honest Stiles misses you even more now. Or at least the version of you that was his. The current version of you is breaking his fucking heart.

Glancing at your cuticles, he sees how marked and cut up they are from where you’ve repeatedly torn off the skin. You always pick at them when you’re anxious or upset. It’s an automatic tell of yours.

Your nails - usually perfectly trimmed and painted, are now ragged and thin. The texture of your hair looks dry and fried, the color and cut something you’d never choose six years ago.

Your wardrobe, once playful and always stylish is now drabby and depressing. You wouldn’t be caught dead in the oversized clothing you’re wearing right now. Even with the baggy clothes, Stiles can see how thin and fragile you’ve become. Which confuses him slightly based on the shopping cart in front of you.

It’s filled to the brim, the amount of junk food alone would make anyone gain weight. Weirdly enough, he doesn’t see one thing of yours that’s a favorite. Being a creature of habit, he would’ve bet money you still liked the same guilty pleasures.

You strangely keep favoring your right leg. It wouldn’t be obvious to many people but Stiles knows you’re usually full of energy, moving around even when standing still. So the fact that you’re not annoyingly restless is a huge red flag.

One of many at this point.

You know Stiles is dissecting your appearance in his mind right now but you refuse to acknowledge it. This surprise encounter is hard enough, seeing the best part of your past standing in front of you is torture.

Thinking back you realize the breakup was a stupid solution, the fights you two had seem so lame and unimportant now but you were young. Young and stupid. Still being with Stiles was the greatest time of your inevitably short life.

It’s not like you haven’t tried to create distance between you and your personal hell. There were other factors in play that wouldn’t let it happen. Your husband being a police officer has stalled every getaway plan you’ve tried.

You left in the middle of the night once, an APB was sent out so fast you barely made it two towns over. And reporting to the police was a joke, your husband made up mental problems for your “erratic behavior”. They knew the truth but it didn’t change a fucking thing.

Growing up in a family of cops, you know how they take care of their own. How easily they sweep shit under the rug if needed, unfortunately you were one of those things swept away. So he’s still “serving and protecting” the city while you suffer in silence.

“Are you…are you okay, Y/N?” Stiles asks concern overtaking his handsome features.

“Of course.”

“You don’t seem ok to me. You don’t even seem like the same girl.” He adds hesitantly.

“You’ve always been one for the dramatics, Stiles. I’m doing great.”

“You’re lying.” Stiles quietly growls, trying to control his anger.

“You haven’t seen me in a long time, Stilinski. Maybe you just don’t know me as well as you used to.” You glare now getting angry yourself.

“Right. You’re right.” Stiles snaps aggravated. “I don’t know you anymore. I don’t know your life or your husband. Or the reason why you no longer want children. Shit changes I guess, huh?”

“Exactly.”

“Well I’ve had fun strolling down memory lane but I have to go. Take care of yourself, sweetheart.”

“You too, Stiles.” You respond softly, doing everything in your power not to break down.

“I hope you find the happiness you’ve been pretending to have, Y/N.” Stiles adds bitterly, barely making eye contact as he leaves you behind.

The pure sadness in your eyes hits Stiles hard as he stalks away from you. He hates causing you any kind of pain but unfortunately it’s necessary for his plan to work. It’s blatantly obvious your home life is keeping you prisoner and there’s no way in hell that’s going to continue.

Stiles chose to hold back an important piece of information during your awkward conversation. He’s been working for the FBI for years now, using the architect job as a cover. Stiles always refrained from looking you up in the FBI database. That doesn’t mean he hasn’t been tempted, he could just never bring himself to do it.

It’s not like he expected to find anything negative - just the opposite. He assumed you were married with kids by now and living a full happy life. The kind you’ve always wanted and deserved. The kind he always thought he could never give you. Stiles is now kicking himself for being so fucking selfish. Maybe he could have saved you sooner if he put his god damn feelings aside.

The choice to keep you in the dark wasn’t an easy one but it’s for the best. You’re barely holding it together as it is, he doesn’t need any outside factors affecting his plan. He can’t risk your demeanor changing and it tipping off your douchebag husband.

Stiles has never been more determined in his entire life than he is right now. He’s going to save you, love you and do whatever it takes to see your beautiful, genuine smile again.

Masterlist

454 notes · View notes

agechat514 · 3 years

Text

Dating Personals Delta Utah

Gender

Male| 38

Country

United States

City

Delta

State

Utah

Height

5'11'

Last Login Date

Age

Eye Color

Blue

Body Type

Average

Hair Color

Blonde

Ethnicity

Caucasian

Denomination

Non-Denominational

Browse Delta Utah personals for free on jumdates.com, the leading free dating website for singles to find a companion easily and quickly. Most of the Delta singles are listed here with detailed profiles including photographs and personal interests. Browse the personals to find the person of your choice. Chat online for free to know him/her better. Just your average book worm. I'm half creepypasta ^-^ I'm dating Jeff the killer, Liu and Toby are my bestie I cosplay and I love anime name the.

Looking For

Anything

Church Name

Finding Christ through Nature

Church Attendance

Once or Twice a month

Church Raised In

Other

Do you drink?

Smoker

Dating Personals Delta Utah Jobs

Willing to relocate?

No way

Marital Status

Single

Do you have children?

Do you want children?

Want Children

Education Level

Specialty/Trade School

My Profession

Self Employed.

Interests

Camping, Fishing, Hunting, Hiking, Photography, Hotsprings, Mountains, rocks and minerals

About Me

For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul? Interests Camping Fishing Hunting Hiking Freedom Ron Paul Rand Paul Gold Silver Rocks Minerals Natural Remedies Jesus Christ Essential oils Prospecting Mountains Exploration Metallurgy Cooking Copper Fossils Hot springs Life less ordinary About Nathan I feel like I am on a totally different planet compared to most people, on my way of thinking, I believe do to the fact that I am Libertarian, was Home schooled and raised on a 400 acre alfalfa, corn and wheat and cattle farm. A INFJ Personality type which is about 1% of the men on this planet... It feels like 99.9% of the people I talk to are all the same even if they are slightly different on their way of thinking, What happened to Morals, values? What happened to everyone being totally Uniquely and different? having an imagination? wanting to break away from the whole norm? get away from the rat race, enjoy life even if it doesn't mean being filthy rich, or having job security, when really a having garden and trying to be happy and healthy and Faith in God is the only security you really can have. I think I was born in the wrong generation, I find myself identifying more with Older people then I do with most people my age or younger. I am tired of Superficial people It really seams like that is about how most people are these days, I don't care about any sports team unless maybe a friend that I support is involved, it seams like Sports and Hollywood have become our Modern day Idols and worship centers even though most people don't realize it. TV is Nice to numb the brain but really don't care about it at all, I'd rather have the night sky be my TV... I am a Christian, Libertarian and a Entrepreneur. I am Jack of all trades. I can cook, work on cars, computer repairs, fix broken electronics, plumbing and electrical and many other things I've learned how to do having an open mind. Since I grew up and we never had a lot of money to buy new things that often so we fixed things not throw them away, though it did lead to having junk piles on our 500 acres and what not but still... my point is I learned a lot of skills you don't learn going to 50 years schooling.. I am pretty sure I am unlike anyone you have ever met, all though I do not let a lot of people get close to me I have a hard time trusting anyone anymore after being used and hurt to much, and I being an extremely nice guy and easy going I've had people take advantage of me lie to me use me and betray me. I like Natural God Given herbal remedies over the whole medical mess we have going on these days that is more about money then curing anyone. I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A 1 NIGHT. I want something deep connection and meaningful. Money is a means to an end, Success it meaningless unless its at helping others. the best things in life are free and didn't cost a penny, good friends are hard to find and in short supply these days. If you want to try to get to know me feel free to send me a message... I've never smoked, done drugs, or been drunk even though I've had a drink everyone once in a while... What I�m doing with my life Trying to Work outside of all the trash going on in the world and the rat race, trying to stay motivated when sometimes it seams like its all for nothing..... It isn't easy being me Empath, I need an Adventure partner who's my best friend to sit under the stars talking about Life, dreams and talking about everything Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food The Bible, Ron Paul - The Revolution, all kinds of music -- but not most rap. I enjoy all kinds of food, chicken, shepherd's pie, venison, dove, pheasant, and elk. Orange chicken. ( I can make it myself) The six things I could never do without Family, Friends, Jesus Christ, God, Prayer, food, Freedom, Liberty, The Constitution. The strength/courage to stand up for what I believe in and help weaker people when no one else does. Being able to think for myself have my own views and opinions. Having people I can look up to as being my heroes like so many of Our founding fathers like Thomas Jefferson Freedom I spend a lot of time thinking about The current state of affairs effecting this once great Country, what kind of bondage our we selling our future generations in to with so much Spending and debt? how to make a living with out working for the Man. Off the Grid Living- getting away from most modern technologies and things that really don't make life any easier because we lose a piece of our self when we can't get away from ' technology' I am Pro Life, you can't have a choice if you Don't first have life....... Why are animals more protected then the unborn children ? You should message me if ...you are pretty much drama free, you're an easy-going, decent person, or if you would like to make a good friend... you like Ron Paul, Rand Paul, getting involved to defend our liberty. Ok so I have talked about me and I like to be honest I am Human and I have my demons I fight daily Depression, Anxiety, IBS, allergies, my back is messed up and my knees hurt once in a while when I go hiking to far... I have a hard time trusting anyone, and or getting close to me, I've also had Dysgraphia and tinnitus since I was a kid... I am an introvert, quite... Why should you message me ? well I am very unique, Honest, Loyal, loving, thoughtful, caring. once a real friend I try to be a good friend... I think I'd make someone a great husband one day even with all my flaws and problems I face I mean cmon who doesn't have their own problems to face why face them alone ??? . I want to live a life less ordinary.... I want someone to enjoy life with........my best friend my lover to grow old with to make out of life what we can working together through good and bad times.... If You read all of this Kudos to you, I've been single a Long time so I keep adding to this.

First Date

Hiking or picnicking in the park, or fishing or somewhere we can talk and get to know each other. defiantly not dinner and movie like most people do

Account Settings (To message farmerboynate you must meet the following criteria.)

Age between 18 to 99.

Send an abuse report regarding farmerboynate's Language, Images or other account details

If you suspect this member is a SCAMMER or is being deceitful PLEASE CLICK HERE and let us know so that we can check them out

All single people who want to go on a date and are finding a partner for that purpose, then they must join the Utah Christian singles dating services. If you are searching for singles then the free dating services will be the best option for you. You will find millions of singles online. You can find the right person by reading the several profiles and then selecting the one that seems perfect. The dating sites are considered as the best method for finding the right partners.

Dating Personals Delta Utah City

It is not necessary that the Utah Christian singles sites are better than the paid versions. Here, you will be able to find maximum number of opportunities. What is the need for paying for these kinds of services when you can get them at free of cost? If your profile consists of your picture, then it will attract more readers. The most important thing in this particular dating service is the profile. When you are creating the profile you should make sure that it consists of all necessary information and looks attractive also. The way in which you project yourself, matters in getting a date.

When you have planned to use the free Utah Christian singles sites, then you should not rush. Take your time and get to know each other. Once you start chatting, you should not rush to meet with the person. After continuous chat, if you feel that the person is right for you, then only arranges a meeting. While you create a profile, one important thing that should be kept in mind is that if you find the site reliable, then only give your personal information; otherwise it is better not to give the information.

Dating Personals Delta Utah Phone Number

0 notes

technoprophecy · 5 years

Photo

A Dog’s Way Home

We watched as a family the movie called A Dog’s Way Home, about a dog trying to find his long way home. The story is told from the perspective of the dog, which is often humorous, sometimes sad, and quite loving. My 11 year old liked it, but he only understood layer one of the movie. I was so happy about that fact, for the real undercurrent story was something else entirely.

Who doesn’t like a good story about a lovable dog right? I wish it was that easy, but that is not the world we live in today. We no longer live in Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. I remember the original Disney The Incredible Journey about 3 pets looking for their master. So innocent, but no longer. We live in a culture now completely saturated with leftist ideology and LGBTQ brainwashing. So much so, that these things happen in front of us on the screen and now in real life without the majority of us even knowing or understanding what is taking place.

The dog’s owner in the movie is a likeable young white guy that eventually falls in love with a beautiful black girl. No problem there. Towards the conclusion, they are shown as a happy married couple. But along our circuitous way in the story, we are served a sometimes subtle and sometimes blatant smorgasbord of Hollywood’s myopic version of leftist America.

The very wimpy dog catcher is called a racist by our young black heroine because he is upholding the law of Denver that says no pitbulls are allowed in the city limits, and that is apparently the breed from which our star dog is derived. We are later given, by a sympathetic lady dog pound employee, a graying of the lines of what a pitbull actually is in reality. This of course gives the audience a reason to ask why is our innocent doggie being chased by the mean old wimpy man.

Later, not to mention the virtue signaling by minority groups in the cast throughout the movie, the wimpy dog catcher is man-handled, or should I say woman-handled by the dog owner’s mother. He is completely overwhelmed by her simply holding his wrist tightly, and her speaking toughly. She tells him that he will allow the doggie to be loaded up in a car, that will take our star far away to the state of New Mexico, so she won’t be caught a second time and euthanized. Yes, by the way, our doggie is a girl, and by the way, most of the likeable people in the movie are females. White guys don’t rate in Hollywood anymore, unless they are LGBTQ or somehow repentant for being a tough guy. Yet, without tough guys there would be no freedom because they fight our wars. Think about that one for a minute.

Moving the dog away from her home, of course, sets up the long distance journey home. Meanwhile, the wimpy dog catcher guy keeps looking at his wrist as if to say to the woman, owe you’re hurting my arm. The tetesterone in me wants to shout out, REALLY? That is all it takes for a law enforcement officer who fights pitbulls for a living to be shaken up and demoralized? Give me a break Hollywood.

By the way, most of the law enforcement in the movie are presented in a negative light for upholding the law. Laws are so passé to the Hollywood left, it makes you wonder why we even have laws in our society. They don’t do anything anyway, but only save lives, protect our private property, provide for the common defense, and keep our country together and in order. Who needs mean old boundaries and borders anyway? We are good without them, right?

Then during the long journey home, we are introduced to the homosexual couple, a white guy and a black guy. We are slowly shown that they aren’t just skiing buddies, but live together; celebrate together with a new bottle of champagne as a gift from one to the other for their book being published; and then we finally see their shiny wedding rings twinkle in the sun. Such a happy couple. There is no touching between them, but the message is loud and clear that this is the new normal for all of us to accept and even to celebrate as we do the marriage of the dog owner and his new pretty wife.

From a Biblical standpoint, this is complete hogwash. I have to wonder though if Christians watching this movie even batted an eye at this Hollywood masterpiece? We have been served up this wrotten feast so often we have become calloused to its true meaning. Face it. Christians have grown up with Ellen Degeneris in their living rooms, and they apparently like it. But for the sake of our children and posterity, we absolutely should do more than bat an apathetic eye. We need a full WAKE UP call to the church!

People, hear me on this. Our choices in life do absolutely have consequences. God tells us in Paul’s letter to the Romans that the homosexual and lesbian relationships, and all things LGBTQ, will end in the utter wrath of God and finally death. We must never forget, but remember what occurred in Sodom and Gomorrah. Before Paul began his ministry to Rome, he laid the Biblical foundation in chapter one by stating the facts boldly. God will give over the homosexual and the lesbian, (and we could add, all the LGBTQ alphabet), to their lusts and passions. The result of this giving over by God, is that their chances of ever recovering from their sexual addictions are slim to none. That is why it is so all important we as Christians need to tow the line, know the Word, and preach the Word in season and out of season.

There are no gray areas here, no ambiguity in Scripture on this issue of LGBTQ. Did you hear that? None whatsoever, Ellen Degeneris not withstanding. I understand there are many so-called Christians today talking about gay orientations and transgender orientations and all the LGBTQ+ alhabet orientations. But it is completelly false, and not even close to what Scripture teaches. LGBTQ is sin period, and there will be no self-identifying LGBTQ person in Heaven. That is a sobering thought. Professing Christian, if you still identify with LGBTQ, you won’t be with the family of God in Heaven. Listen to the Apostle Paul. He is the Christian’s timeless authority on this subject as he was inspired by God to write without error. We don’t need any Scriptural updates from the APA (American Psychological Association), which is human wisdom inspired by doctrines of demons.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.”

We wouldn’t ever say there is an adulterer orientation. Or a thief orientation. Or a swindler orientation. Would we? Or any other kind of orientation on this list. Yet, we are being told that there is an exception when it comes to the effeminate and to the homosexual. That God created the LGBTQ person with that identity, even that God blesses them. If so, then we might as well say God created the thief and the swindler, and blesses them; and God will steal you blind when the offering plate is passed next Sunday morning. That is complete nonsense.

Look further on in the passage. Paul goes on to say, “Such were some of you.” Did you notice the past tense? You were once identified this way before you came to Christ, but you are not this anymore. He goes on, “but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.”

There is no doubt in the matter, that once Christ washes us from all these sins, that we identify with these sins NO MORE. Therefore, the current popular teaching of supposed LGBTQ orientation is completely false, and dangerous. That is emphatic teaching people. Paul goes on to state in another place.

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

So let’s put this LGBTQ orientation teaching to rest people. The only victory for homosexuality is conversion to Jesus Christ period. Remember, it is LGBTQ that are asking for special status, not the others. So they and those that give them theological sanctuary need to hear what Paul is preaching. By the way, some do want to be washed, but the church is now telling them, no you are ok the way you are; you were made by God that way. In California law 2943 was passed that makes conversion therapy for homosexuals illegal. That is completely unbelievable, and what is more unbelievable is so-called Christian conservatives were pushing for this law to be passed, and it did pass both houses.

It is neither right nor good to continue on this false track that will lead no where good, but to our complete demise. There is no LGBTQ orientation, only sin. We should resist both the false gospel of Hollywood, and the false teachers in the church. LGBTQ is in reality a tragic life that is a kind of living death. Yet, we are being brainwashed to believe the total opposite, that it is somehow beautiful with twinkling wedding rings. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Our children absolutely deserve the church to be CRYSTAL CLEAR on our teaching on LGBTQ. Without the true church teaching boldly and courageously the time honored Word of God, our children are DOOMED!. Our children don’t stand a chance if we desert them now at their hour of utmost need. For them to grow up and believe that LGBTQ is normal in the movies and in real life; and being brainwashed to believe by those in the church that there are no consequences for sin, is calling God a liar, and inviting God’s judgment upon us and our nation.

When Abraham asked God to spare Sodom and Gomorrah if there were just 10 righteous people, he discovered the stark truth when he rose early the next morning to observe the rising smoke of the cities, and their utter judgment and destruction.

Genesis 19:27-28 “Now Abraham arose early in the morning and went to the place where he had stood before the Lord; and he looked down toward Sodom and Gomorrah, and toward all the land of the valley, and he saw, and behold, the smoke of the land ascended like the smoke of a furnace.“

Tragically, there weren’t even 10 people who knew or cared about God’s Word, and even the children were swept up in the fire and brimstone and destroyed along with their wicked fathers and mothers.

What will we as followers of the Lord Jesus Christ and parents of our dear little ones decide? Are the children precious to us enough to stand and fight against the tidal wave of luke warm and compromised Christianity? Or will Christ spew us out of His mouth because we were neither hot nor cold? I beg you to join the fight, and raise the banner of truth in front of an evil and perverse generation before it is too late, even when that means confronting a hostile world and a denomination given over to heresy. Wake up church!

0 notes

dancingalone21 · 7 years

Text

No Longer You

Summary: Now a shell of her former self, the reader runs into an old flame.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,761

Warning: implying an abusive relationship

Nichelle’s 4K Angst Challenge - “I hope you find the happiness you’ve been pretending to have.” @nichelle-my-belle

Green cancels out red.

Yellow cancels out purple and brown…no purple and blue.

And lavender cancels out…yellow?

Jesus Christ. This shouldn’t be that difficult, hiding the evidence of your home life is a normal occurrence. The three concussions you’ve acquired over the years must be catching up to you.

You’re squinting harshly at the Revlon concealers on the top shelf before you. Trying and failing to remember which ones work the best, basically whatever hides the fucking truth.

“Oh! I’m sorry!” You spin around to apologize, immediately regretting the fast movement.

“You ok, honey?” The woman asks eyeing you too closely for your liking.

The automatic judgement is something you’ve become accustomed to over the years. You’re convinced it chips off a piece of your pathetic heart each time.

“I’m fine. Thanks.” You barely mumble turning away from her. You can still feel unwelcomed eyes on you, aggravated you silently command yourself to just breathe.

“Y/N?”

You freeze from the sound of your name although you’re more concerned with the deep voice saying it. It can’t be him…can it? For the love of all things holy, please let it not be him.

“Y/N?” Dean slightly hesitates, awkwardly staring as if you’ll run away any second.

You turn around painfully slow, stalling what’s about to take place. Your eyes lock, immediately waking something in you that you’ve been suppressing for years. Hope.

“Dean.” You let out a heavy sigh as your chest tightens, you struggle wanting the pressure to dissipate as quickly as it came. Your body’s way of warning you, an asthma attack is on the horizon.

“Wow. It’s been awhile.” He half heartedly chuckles, trying to keep his shocked reaction at bay. If it wasn’t for your sweet voice catching his attention, Dean would have kept strolling right by you. Completely and totally oblivious that the love of his life is near.

“Yeah…six years.” You offer him your best fake smile, praying that time has ruined Dean’s memory of you.

He doesn’t react, at least not in a negative way. Did he become an amazing actor? Or did he forget the look of your real smile? Either way, it makes you both relieved and disappointed. Stop it, Y/N. The last thing you want or need is to trap Dean fucking Winchester into this shitshow you call a life.

“What are you doing in Kansas? Last I heard you were working at Benny’s auto shop in New York.”

Dean’s stomach drops, his mouth turns dry and he’s debating if he should tell you the truth. Worried what your reaction will be, he nervously decides against it. At least for now. You’ll find out soon enough what he’s been doing with his life. He silently makes that promise to you.

“Sammy and Jess moved back here about a year ago. They have a daughter now, Kelly, they want her to grow up around her grandparents. Mom and dad are thrilled of course. So I’m just visiting everyone.”

“Yup they do.” Dean nods following your gaze down to the giant rock on your bony finger.

“You’ve obviously settled down yourself. Any rugrats?”

“Nah…no kids. Its not something I want.” You shrug nonchalantly, eyes fixating on anything but your ex boyfriend.

“Really? You always wanted kids. Or at least one.” Dean frowns eyeing you suspiciously. Shit.

“You couldn’t wait to have a little boy so you could dress him up in baseball caps and skull t-shirts.” Dean snickers at the memory, your face lit up when you used to talk about it.

“Things change.” You add softly, realizing he will never know the actual truth.

Dean barely nods in response, the restraint it’s taking to keep his mouth shut is nearly killing him. He doesn’t know specifics but he knows for sure that something isn’t fucking right.

Dean has missed you terribly since the breakup, the amount of regret he deals with on a daily basis is sometimes overwhelming. It doesn’t matter how much whiskey he knocks back or how many girls he takes to bed, you’re always hiding in the corner of his mind.

And now here you are in the flesh, standing before him and you’re not her. It’s a total mindfuck, to be honest Dean misses you even more now. Or at least the version of you that was his. The current version of you is breaking his fucking heart.

Your nails - usually perfectly trimmed and painted, are now ragged and thin. The texture of your hair looks dry and fried, the color and cut something you’d never choose six years ago.

Your wardrobe, once playful and always stylish is now drabby and depressing. You wouldn’t be caught dead in the oversized clothing you’re wearing right now. Even with the baggy clothes, Dean can see how thin and fragile you’ve become. Which confuses him slightly based on the shopping cart in front of you.

You strangely keep favoring your right leg. It wouldn’t be obvious to many people but Dean knows you’re usually full of energy, moving around even when standing still. So the fact that you’re not annoyingly restless is a huge red flag.

One of many at this point.

You know Dean is dissecting your appearance in his mind right now but you refuse to acknowledge it. This surprise encounter is hard enough, seeing the best part of your past standing in front of you is torture.

Thinking back you realize the breakup was a stupid solution, the fights you two had seem so lame and unimportant now but you were young. Young and stupid. Still being with Dean was the greatest time of your inevitably short life.

“Are you…are you okay, Y/N?” Dean asks concern overtaking his handsome features.

“Of course.”

“You don’t seem ok to me. You don’t even seem like the same girl.” He adds hesitantly.

“You’ve always been one for the dramatics, Dean. I’m doing great.”

“You’re lying.” Dean quietly growls, trying to control his anger.

“You haven’t seen me in a long time, Winchester. Maybe you just don’t know me as well as you used to.” You glare now getting angry yourself.

“Right. You’re right.” Dean snaps aggravated. “I don’t know you anymore. I don’t know your life or your husband. Or the reason why you no longer want children. Shit changes I guess, huh?”

“Exactly.”

“Well I’ve had fun strolling down memory lane but I have to go. Take care of yourself, sweetheart.”

“You too, Dean.” You respond softly, doing everything in your power not to break down.

“I hope you find the happiness you’ve been pretending to have, Y/N.” Dean adds bitterly, barely making eye contact as he leaves you behind.

The pure sadness in your eyes hits Dean hard as he stalks away from you. He hates causing you any kind of pain but unfortunately it’s necessary for his plan to work. It’s blatantly obvious your home life is keeping you prisoner and there’s no way in hell that’s going to continue.

Dean chose to hold back an important piece of information during your conversation. He’s been working for the FBI for years now, using the mechanic job as a cover. Dean always refrained from looking you up in the FBI database. That doesn’t mean he hasn’t been tempted, he could just never bring himself to do it.

It’s not like he expected to find anything negative - just the opposite. He assumed you were married with kids by now, living a full happy life. The kind you’ve always wanted and deserved. The kind he always thought he could never give you. Dean’s now kicking himself for being so fucking selfish. Maybe he could have saved you sooner if he put his god damn feelings aside.

Dean’s never been more determined in his entire life than he is right now. He’s going to save you, love you and do whatever it takes to see your beautiful, genuine smile again.

#Nichelle’s 4K Angst Challenge #superaturalfic #sam winchester #sam winchester au #jared padalecki #no longer you #dean winchester #dean winchester au #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #supernatural #supernatural au #spn reader insert #SPN #Jensen Ackles #supernatural fanfic

1K notes · View notes

captainignatiuspigheart · 4 years

Text

Oosh, where has the time gone? It’s hard to figure out whether it’s the weeks or the weekends that go by faster. Either way, they’re going nuts and I’m waaaay behind on my weekly updates. I’ve noted this for the last couple of weeks, sighed, and discovered that it’s now Thursday or something equally ridiculous. And of course, the longer this goes on, the more I have to write and the more impossible it becomes. I guess I’ll have to draw a line under it… This week you’ll only be seeing the things I gave a damn about from the last couple of weeks because otherwise I’ll never finish!

A Rare Moment of Self-Reflection

What I should do is to think a little about why I’m now struggling to do this. In part it’s because this exercise was great at the beginning of lockdown, and gave me a focus. Now, of course, I have a fucktonne of work to do and things are sort of ramping up in other areas of life, like occasionally seeing people in the flesh and stuff. A number of things have helped me keep it together for the last 129 days (I think) of working at home: work, obviously, is my primary routine and aiming to go for a cycle ride beforehand really frames my day. Every Thursday for ages (forever? Who knows) I’ve been hosting a virtual pub for our MissImp weekly regulars (and folks from further afield too, which has been amazing) which has filled my regular evening out slot nicely. Then there’s been the fortnightly We Are What We Overcome webcasts, and the quick chats we have on the off weeks. That handful of regular activity has been great.

I try to keep these posts going because of something we talked about in one of our podcasts: if I’m depressed, I can’t remember any good things I’ve ever done, and if I’m all perky and up then I don’t care about remembering what I’ve been doing. Right now I’m mostly pretty chipper, largely a consequence of being busy and having acquired lots of LEGO recently, so this doesn’t feel important in the same way it did a few months ago. That’s a tricky place for me to be in, because despite occasional dips into glum days, I think I’ve been upbeat for a while now. The longer I’m upbeat, the less likely it feels that I’ll go down, or that I’ll worry about crashing. And that’s actually a decent indicator that I’m going to have a bit of a crash. Keeping track is the whole damn point! Must make more time.

Anyway… what have I been up to? Well, we’ve seen real live humans on both the last Saturdays, partly in attempt to normalise the new normal, or whatever the pre-second wave era is called, and partly because it turns out that folk want to see us, which is very nice and reassuring. Messing about with my sister and nieces at Highfields Park was a rather fun afternoon, as was eating and drinking at Dovecote Lane park last weekend. That bandstand is perfect, other than it’s brutish tarmac flooring. As I have alluded to earlier, I’m also quite busy at work as we race for the print deadlines for October titles, commission more and more artwork and do general bookstuff. It’s ace really, but is certainly filling my days tightly. We’re not likely to see the office for another month, and that’s OK with me.

I’ve been a rather busy LEGO person too, albeit more “busy” in the sense of “buying” than making much. I did join a LUG though, the Brick Central LEGO User Group. I’ve thought about it a lot over the last couple of years, and though I’m not sure how much time I could feasibly put into big displays and conventions, I’m interested in finding out. Also I got neat printed bricks and bits and pieces when I signed up, so I’m happy with that. I took advantage of the LEGO double VIP points last week to pick up a “few” things, from cute little LEGO Dots and baby dinosaurs to the massive Pirates of Barracuda Bay set. It is all very exciting! I’ve got some random builds I need to take some decent photos of and share them too.

Big Stuff

Little Stuff

Big Stuff

Watching: The Order, season 2

I can’t deny that this is a low-rent Teen Wolf crossed with the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, themselves low-rent versions of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and so many more. I remembered nothing of the previous season, even when we saw the “last time on this thing”, and would have sworn I’d never seen it at all. Nonetheless, this proved to be effective brain chewing entertainment while eating, in the sense of it noticeably degrading one’s braincells. Daft witch academy with neighboring anti-magic werewolves (who turn out to have previously been the witches’ bodyguard or something), but the wolves have all been tricked into being witches, or something. It doesn’t really matter – the entire show is redeemed by the delightful relationship between the four werewolves, which feels very much like how I felt about my university housemates: loving, occasionally fighty and laced with sarcasm and alcohol. Shame the lady werewolf ended up in hell this season. I’m sure I won’t remember this next time either, but if I can be persuaded to watch season 3 I’m sure I’ll enjoy it.

youtube

Reading: The Kingdom Beyond the Waves by Stephen Hunt

Continuing the really quite wacky steampunk series set in a far-future with multiple species of human (Craynarbians are splendid shelled folk, for example), steammen, and wild action adventure. I have insufficient time to summarise this one, but it covers an Atlantis-alike ancient city in the sky, infernal plots of genius industrialists to take over government, a frightening Borg-like jungle species, savage feral robots, submarine journeys, and so much more. The whole series is an absolute blast and I’m enjoying re-reading them enormously. Get on it.

Building: LEGO Overwatch Watchpoint: Gibraltar #75975

While I still have almost no idea what Overwatch is (yeah, yeah, I know it’s a game, and my friend Sam has a nice summary on Overwatch here), but I adore the LEGO sets. I’ve had my eye on this one solely because it features a gorilla in a spacesuit. Now that it’s reaching the end of its shelf-life “Watchpoint: Gibraltar” has become more affordable, and on a midnight whim (always the best time to buy LEGO) I ordered…

The minifigs are an utter delight! Check out Pharah (in blue) with that gorgeous gold visor, and Mercy (admittedly with the usual pink-printed-on-black face which never really works that well) with a lovely hair/hat element and lovely printed torso and legs, plus the rather ominous Reaper. I’m guessing he’s the bad guy. The gorilla is apparently named “Winston”. I hadn’t noticed that he’s wearing glasses, but he’s rather charming either way.

The build is pretty straightforward: you make a spaceship, which has a couple of separating sections, and the cool but not very exciting gantry/rocket leaning post thing. The spaceship itself is a satisfyingly sleek affair, with cleverly connected sections and very neat work on making the hatch fit flush. Building it felt like a wonderful flashback to my childhood, making largely flat spaceships that feel a little like this, but much less good.

The whole thing looks very pretty, but is inconveniently tall for anywhere I want to put it…

Watching: Derry Girls, season 2

Just marvelous. I can’t recommend this show enough, and I’m thrilled that there’s a third season on the way. Set in, um, Derry, in the 90s, this teenage sitcom is pretty much perfect. In keeping with non-American TV shows about teenagers, this lot actually look like real teenagers – the scowl game is extraordinary. The relationships and dialogue are brilliant, and you can’t help but love them all a little bit. The parents are savage and equally funny (finding Bill Clinton is a particular joy). The costumes are bang-on 90s-hideous and the soundtrack makes me unusually nostalgic. My only complaint is that there aren’t enough episodes. Not even close. Apparently Netflix screwed up and released this early, so it’s not available any more. Sorry folks!

youtube

Building: LEGO Jurassic World Dr Wu’s Lab: Baby Dinosaur Breakout #75939

Jesus Christ, baby dinosaurs! How was I ever supposed to resist? Reader, I did not. Clearly.

Like many of the licensed sets, especially the Jurassic World theme, there isn’t a lot to this. That said, the build is drawn out by the usual agony of applying stickers to transparent elements, and my desire to get them mostly straight had me turning on extra lights and teasing them into place with a scalpel. The egg turning machine is pleasing, and although I was complaining about applying the stickers, this is a set where they really do shine. The details in them are lovely, from the laptop screen to all the heads up displays, they’re adorable, and I’ll have to find more uses for them.

The figures are reliably cool, and I really like the LEGO Friends elements such as the baby feeding bottle sneaking into the mainstream LEGO sets. Dr Wu has the most cunning expression, just like in the movies! But none of this matters – all shall be recycled for parts except for the ADORABLE baby triceratops and even babier ankylosaur. Just so goddamn cute. I couldn’t be happier.

Watching: What We Do in the Shadows, season 2

A show that completely revels in its own stupidity with enormous commitment, we caned this in a single sitting too. Colin, the energy vampire, continues to be my personal favourite, but they’re all pretty great idiots. I’m delighted that the main storyline has turned out to be Guillermo’s, as he learns of his vampire-hunting past and wonders about his future, killing vampires while still being a dedicated familiar. Wonderful nonsense.

youtube

Doing: We Are What We Overcome – Fortnightly Mental Health Check-In

We reflected a little on how life has changed with a whole fortnight of being allowed to go to the pub… And here’s the link for next week’s chat.

Watching: Warrior Nun

This is dreadful. OK, that’s not entirely fair, but it’s definitely mostly fair. This is the story of a bunch of nuns who are warriors (duh), fighting demons and stuff. One of the nuns always has an angel’s halo embedded in their back, which makes them a sin-fighting superhero. When a mission goes badly tits up, the warrior nuns rip the halo out of their dead leader and stick it in a recently dead girl… She comes back to life, no longer paraplegic, but certainly perplexed about why she’s alive, why she has superpowers (kinda), and why she should give a shit about the Catholic church. Sounds fun, right. The trailer looks pretty fun too, and there are about 25 minutes of great stuff spread across the entire show, with some fun fights, laughable CGI demons, the one good character (Shotgun Mary) who appears to be in another, much better, show. But the rest of it is bogged down by impossibly tedious exposition where characters literally open books and read endless passages from them, or an agonisingly dull romance, in which the most exciting bits are them sitting on a ferry. The show almost redeems itself with a final heist episode but by that point it’s so laden with cack that I couldn’t bring myself to care. You may enjoy it though.

youtube

Doing: MissImp’s Virtual Drop-In – Roberto Lewis

More great and splendid video content right here, on one of my favourite topics — coming in with nothing! (I mean, favourite because I cannot plan…)

youtube

Last Week: The Order, The Kingdom Above the Waves, Warrior Nun, Derry Girls, LEGO Overwatch and Jurassic World, We Are What We Overcome and more… I’m quite behind. #books #tv #LEGO #stuff https://wp.me/pbprdx-8GV Oosh, where has the time gone? It’s hard to figure out whether it’s the weeks or the weekends that go by faster.

#baby dinosaurs #book review #Derry Girls #Jackelian series #lego #Lego Jurassic World #LEGO Overwatch #lockdown activities #Netflix #retail therapy #Stephen Hunt #The Order #TV review #Warrior Nun #We Are What We Overcome #What We Do In the Shadows

0 notes

the-record-newspaper · 5 years

Text

Meeting a real-life Superman

Harold Martin and his daughter, Taneika Martin

By JERRY LANKFORD

Record Editor

But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6:3-4 English Standard Version) from Jesus Christ’s Sermon on the Mount.

I know Superman. And, he taught me to know how it feels to be the left hand.

Allow me to explain.

On Wednesday, Aug. 14, after I left work, I needed to run some errands for my sister, Ellen. She had given me her bank card to use to pick up medicine, buy groceries and stop at a few other places.

It was probably around 8 p.m., when I was headed back to our home in Mulberry. My last stop was to be at a local Chinese restaurant. Ellen was treating us both to supper that evening.

Walking toward the door of the restaurant, I spotted a man I’d never seen before also headed for the door.

The first thing I noticed was his attire – a Superman T-shirt.

“I love your shirt,” I told him.

He just laughed and said, “If only I still felt like Superman…”

After telling him I knew exactly how he felt, we both went in to get our food.

The man I’d spoke to was in front of me, and a young woman soon came in and joined him. He had called in his food as Ellen had, but he decided to add something to his order putting me next in line.

After giving the lady behind the counter the phone number under which our order was in, I handed her Ellen’s card. A moment later, she looked up at me rather surprised and said, “The card was declined.”

I knew what had happened – my sister’s bank freezes her card at the sign of the slightest bit of unusual activity, and I’d been to a lot of places where she usually doesn’t shop.

Asking the lady if she’d give me a few minutes, I’d get it cleared up.

I sat down and called Ellen and told her what had happened. She said, “I’ll call the bank and then call you right back.”

After waiting a couple of minutes for the return call from my sister, the lady behind the counter said, “Excuse me. Your order is paid for.”

Not knowing what to think, I asked, “How?”

She simply pointed to the door that had just shut.

Walking outside, I saw the man who came in with me. Hollering across the parking lot I said, “Thank you!”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he answered. “Just pray for me.”

I assured him that I would, then asked him his name. He told me, “Harold Martin.”

Picking up the bag containing mine and Ellen’s supper, I carried it out, placed it safely in the car and began to head home. I wasn’t halfway out of the parking lot when my sister called me back.

“Everything should be fine with the card now,” she said.

“It’s OK,” I told her. “It’s already been paid for.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Harold Martin paid for it,” I told her.

Then, I proceeded to tell her what happened. I also told her that all he asked was for me to pray for him. Ellen said she would do the same. And, we both have honored his requests numerous times since that night.

The next day, I made it my mission to track him down using Facebook. I had very little luck at first, but found who, to the best of my sketchy memory, looked like the young woman who was with Mr. Martin at the restaurant. I sent her a friend request and a message.

This young woman – her name being Taneika Martin – wrote me back a few days later and informed me that Harold Martin is her father and told me how to contact him on Facebook. I immediately began a dialogue with this man.

I told Mr. Martin that at some point in the next few weeks wanted to interview him for The Record.

“I’m not looking for any recognition or anything like that,” he told me. “And, I sure didn’t have any idea that you worked for The Record.”

After a bit of coaxing, he agreed.

Last Thursday (Oct. 10) he came by the office and we had a great visit, all the while I took notes. It wasn’t long after he arrived at our office that his daughter, Taneika, joined us.

Here’s a little bit about this extraordinary man.

Harold Martin is 53. He was raised in Roaring River, where he resides today. At one time he lived across the street from our old offices of The Record and Thursday Printing on Fourth Street in North Wilkesboro, but had moved before I came to work there in 1999.

He is the son of Nathan and Viola Martin and the grandson of Effie Martin. He was raised by a family with good morals and ethics and regularly attended church – which he still does, at Poplar Springs Baptist in Roaring River to be exact. He is married to Cecilia Martin. He is the father of Heather Hampton, 32; Harold Martin II, 31; Taneika Martin, 23; Taylor Parsons, 19; Taniya Martin, 18; Easton Martin, 14; and Taneisha Watts, 25. He also has seven grandchildren with one on the way – Taneika is due in December.

Mr. Martin worked for the Wilkes County Sheriff’s Department for 26 years, and retired as lieutenant of the Patrol Division. He loves to hunt deer and fish. When I asked what kind of fishing he liked, he said with a laugh, “I don’t care what it’s for as long as my hook is in the water.”

I asked him about the evening we met.

“We were at home trying to figure out what to eat and we decided on Chinese food,” he said. He and Taneika rode together on the 20-minute drive to the restaurant.

When asked what made him decide to buy our supper, he simply said, “I wanted to show her (Taneika) that it don’t hurt to help people.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you had paid for our food?” I asked.

“I didn’t want you to know,” he answered.

Taneika said she has witnessed her father perform similar acts of kindness on many occasions. And, she’s also the one who talked him into buying the Superman T-shirt sometime back.

“He’s just a good man,” she said.

Harold Martin is a man of faith. “I may not have always done the right thing, but one thing’s for sure, I was raised right.”

With our conversation near its end, I offered to pay him back for the food. I even put him on the phone with my sister shortly after he arrived. She later told me she had also offered to pay him back.

His answer was: “I’ve been paid back 10 times over. I’ve been blessed. I believe that if you get up in the morning, you’re blessed.”

He added, “I’ve always thought that if you give from your heart, you’ll never miss it.”

Here I want to repeat Christ’s words from The Sermon on the Mount, “…do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing…”

That night in August, I was an unknowing left hand.

Harold Martin is a kind and gracious man. That is something he has clearly shown. He has also proven that he is a good, solid and strong right hand.

May he receive countless blessings for the rest of his life.

Record Editor Jerry Lankford and Harold Martin

0 notes

firstumcschenectady · 6 years

Text

“Is the Body of Christ Intersex?” based on Genesis 1:26-31 and 1 Corinthians 12:4-14 (and the book “Old Turtle”)

There are a lot of metaphors for the Holy One. Some Biblical metaphors are: rock, fortress, shepherd, light, Alpha and Omega, vine, bread of life, fire, breath, father, laboring woman, king, nursing mother, warrior, mother hen – to name a few. As evidenced, some of the metaphors are genderless, some are masculine, and some are feminine.

Most theists I know believe that the Divine is Spirit, and Spirit is beyond gender. At the same time, most of them use masculine pronouns for the Holy One, often unconsciously. As Rev. Dr. Michelle Bogue-Trost stated in a petition to this year's Annual Conference entitled “Expansive Language,” ''imagery conveyed by language becomes a teaching methodology as we articulate our understandings of humanity and of God, and influences our understanding of the nature of the Divine and of all creation, including all of God’s people.”1 Thus, she said, “limiting our use of language and imagery to male-only naming for God or for humanity; … is hurtful to faithful persons of all varieties.”2 The United Methodist Church already has a Resolution “encouraging United Methodist clergy and laity 'to use diverse Biblical images and titles for God, including masculine/feminine metaphors; use language for humans that reflects both male and female; use metaphors of color, darkness, ability, and age in positive ways,' and further, that we affirm the use of Biblical language and images in all their forms as appropriate for use in hymns, liturgy, teaching, and in all areas of our common life together.'”3

Her petition asked that “the Upper New York Annual Conference commits itself to use language and imagery about God and humanity in ways that are faithfully inclusive of the variety of humanity and myriad of understandings of God.”4 (It was more extensive, and even better, but that's the succinct version.) To the horror of our church representatives, the resolution did NOT pass. There was anxiety in the Annual Conference about speaking of the Divine in expansive and inclusive ways. (Yes, it is OK to face palm at this point.)

That was a shame. When we limit our metaphors of Holiness, especially by associating the Holy One with the ones who hold disproportionate power in society, we do great harm. It was at the moment that the Expansive Language Resolution failed that Alice Nash suggested we take the time to celebrate in worship The Holy One who is gender non-binary. This church is blessed with wise lay leaders!

The another piece fell into place. Our delegation to the United Methodist Women's Assembly had also returned and brought back with them a book entitled 'Beyond a Binary God: A Theology for Trans* Allies” by Tara K. Soughers. Rev. Dr. Soughers offers some very helpful definitions, ones that I think we all need.

HOWEVER, before I can offer her definitions, I need to be clear that definitions of words around gender identity are not universally agreed upon. This is one set, even I can find issue with some of the words, and some people will find them inaccurate in meaningful ways. That said, I believe this would be true of any definitions, and we need to start somewhere. She says:

“Gender identity is the gender that the person knows oneself to be interiorly. Those whose self-understanding of gender is inconsistent with their biological sex or gender assigned at birth are known as transgender, the 'T' in our list of letters. Trans- means “across” so transgender individuals are those whose gender is across from, or on another side of, the gender they were assigned at birth. Alternatively, those whose self-understanding of gender is consistent with their biological sex are known as cis-gender – in other words 'on the same side.' Some people do not identify with either masculine or feminine gender. Those people often identify as agender. Others identify with both masculine and feminine genders, and often consider themselves gender fluid. Collectively, those who do not have a singular gender identity are often called 'gender queer', a variation of 'Q'5 … Non-binary trans* people are those who do not fit into the binary understanding of gender. They can present as masculine, feminine, or androgynous; sometimes they can present differently depending on the context. Often they prefer to use “they/them/theirs” as pronouns, or other non-gendered personal pronouns that are becoming more widely used.”6

If that was too much, let me repeat the most succinct line, “Non-binary trans* people are those who do not fit into the binary understanding of gender.” The binary refers to the binary of masculine and feminine, particularly when they are understood as opposites.

Our first Scripture gives us one of the best examples in Scripture of the Divine as gender non-binary. It is from the first creation story in Genesis, the priestly version, and our text comes from day 6 of creation. The core part of that story for our purposes are the words, “Then G-d said, 'Let us make humankind in our image, to be like us. … Humankind was created as G-d's reflection: in the divine image G-d created them; female and male, G-d made them.” (Inclusive Bible, Genesis 1:26a, 27) Do you hear it? Female AND male are created in the image of the Creator, that the Holy One contains both what is reflected in the masculine and what is reflected in the feminine!! That would mean that the Divine fits the definition of gender non-binary. The Holy One presents as female at times, as male at times, as androgynous at times, and as non-personified at times too! The Divine doesn't fit our human categories, but it is more than that. The Creator is fundamentally non-binary, and in specific, gender non-binary.

You may remember that in Genesis 1, creation happens by creating light, then separating light from darkness; then creating sky, and separating sky from water; then creating land which separating land from sea; then creating vegetation and so on, culminating in the creation of humans then the Sabbath. Rev. Dr. Soughers makes a further wonderful point about this passage, in the context of the first creation story:

“only day and night were created, but not twilight or dawn. Dry land and water were supposedly separated, but we also have marshes and swamps where dry land and water mix. Just because marshes or twilight are not mentioned in creation does not mean that either is impossible or excluded. The binaries were meant to suggest not only the extremes that are named, but everything in between. If that is the case with dawn and with swamps, why exclude the possibility of that also being true in the case of gender?”7

Thus, there is even more in this story than the Creator containing both masculine and feminine, there is space for both the Creator and the created to be both/and and to be neither/nor. The range of gender is in the image of the Creator, and the Creator is reflected in all varieties of gender identities. This also includes “agender”, which for many of us might be the easiest gender to associate the the Creator, who we think of as a Spirit beyond gender. In any case, we are blessed by the opportunity to expand our metaphors and see expressions we've previously missed about the Holy One.

Now, onto the question of this sermon, “Is the Body of Christ Intersex?” First, let's get a definition, in this case from the Intersex Society of North America, “'Intersex' is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male.8 Depending on the breadth one uses with that definition, one can conclude that between 0.07% and 1.7% of babies born are born intersex. To be very clear, to speak of people who are intersex is to talk about biological sex, and not gender identity. In the past, intersex babies were often assigned a biological sex and surgery was preformed to conform their anatomy to the assigned sex. Luckily, this is much less common now. Today, intersex people are most often raised with a presumptive gender, one that the individual may or may not affirm later in life.9 By not preforming surgery at birth, the intersex individual can later decide if surgeries are appropriate to express their gender identity.

Our second reading today introduces the concept of the Body of Christ, of which we are all members. Each of us contribute our gifts, given by the Spirit, to the work of the whole. The continued living Body of Christ, doing the work that Jesus began in his life time, is the most profound explanation of resurrection I know. “And that Body is not one part, it is many.” (Inclusive Bible, 1 Corinthians 12:14). The passage goes on to pontificate about how the ear has a differentiated role from the foot; and that our suffering and joys are shared. Maybe I am extending the metaphor too far, but I tend to think that the Body of Christ is a real, full, and human like body. I think there is Holiness to bodies themselves, and they serve as a great metaphor for the Body of Christ.

When Jesus was alive, to the best of my knowledge, his body was male. However, I don't think that gives us information about the gender (nor sex) of the current living Body of Christ. The answer to my question about the Body being intersex is “I don't think so” because to be intersex never refers to being fully female and fully male at the same time, because that doesn't physiologically occur in bodies. Yet, to imagine the Body of Christ in its fullness, for me at least, requires imagining the physiologically impossible. The Body cannot be the Body of Christ, a composite of all the humans who are a part of it, and lack the fullness of femininity, nor the fullness of masculinity. I can't tell you with the gender identity of the Body of Christ (although I'd imagine gender non-binary and perhaps oscillating between a both and to masculine and feminine and neither/nor to the same), but I do think the full range of biological sex options have to simultaneously co-exist. I guess, then, that I have to revise my answer. I think the Body of Christ IS intersex, and female, and male, all at once.

And I think the Body of Christ reflects the Creator's own self, which is broad enough to also contain all gender identities and biological sexes. And I think this is very, very good news for humanity, which has been created in the image of Holiness itself, which a wide range of diversity and variety. Not only does the full range of gender identity reflect the Holy One, all people in all gender identities are reflections of the Creator's own self!!

May our images and metaphors for the Divine continue to grow and expand, along with our love for the Creator's children and creation. Amen

1Michelle Bogue-Trost, 2018 Upper New York Annual Conference Journal Volume 1, for the May 2-June 2, 2018 session, page 96.

2Bogue-Trost, 96.

3Bogue-Trost, quoting the 2016 Book of Resolution, #8011, page 96.

4Bogue-Trost, 96-97.

5Footnote in the book says, “The Q in our alphabet of letters stands for queer or questioning. Queer, originally a derogatory term for the LBGT community, has been reclaimed by the community as a source of pride. It is often used as an umbrella term for those whose gender identity, gender expression/presentation, or sexual orientation deviates from cultural norms. Gender queer individuals are those whose gender identity is 'queered,' i.e. they do not identify with the gender binary.” Others would say that Q is an umbrella term for sexual orientations other than straight and that trans is a gender term for gender identities other than cis.

6Tara K. Soughers, Beyond a Binary God: A Theology for Trans* Allies (New York: Church Publishing, 2018) p. 16-17.

7Soughers, 71-72.

8Intersex Society of North America, What is Intersex found at http://www.isna.org/faq/what_is_intersex on June 28, 2018.

9Intersex Society of North America, How can you assign a gender (boy or girl) without surgery? found at http://www.isna.org/faq/gender_assignment on June 28, 2018.

Rev. Sara E. Baron

First United Methodist Church of Schenectady

603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305

Pronouns: she/her/hers

http://fumcschenectady.org/

https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

#Gender nonbinary #Progressive Christianity #Body of Christ #Thinking Church #FUMC Schenectady #We've been together 5 years already #UMC #Schenectady #Intersex Body of Christ #Nonbinary Divinity #Rev Sara E Baron #Happy Birthday to me

0 notes