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loneberry · 1 year

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After I finished making a midterm exam, Molly and I went to a secret Japanese tea house. It appears on no map, has no hours, no sign. It is as though it exists, somehow, outside this world. When you enter, you give your phone to the owner to lock in a box for the duration of your visit.

We stayed for nearly 6 hours—sat reading poems, chatting with the eccentric owner about Sufism and the ocean and his peculiar flower arrangements consisting of a mix of living and dead plant matter.

How can I describe it, the strange sensation of being alive, late at night in those dim lights, surrounded by beauty. I got up to look at the wares, inhaled the hinoki essential oil—Max Richter was playing as I stared at blank notecards and imagined writing someone a heartfelt note, writing bravely, from that bewitched and emotionally authentic space I was in. I felt a sudden pang. It was the moment opening, with all its counterfactuals, what could have been, what will never be—how deeply I could feel, in that instant, the texture of my grief.

When I’m in the hustle and bustle of my busy and now quite ordinary life, I think, if only I could really hear the voice that says,

“Jackie, it was not for this that you were created.”

Then I would give away all my things and spend my days in prayer.

Susan Howe writes that for Sarah Edwards, “all works of God are a kind of language or voice to instruct us in things pertaining to calling and confusion.”

“...each soul comes upon the call of God in his word. I read words but don’t hear God in them.”

Did I pray, how long in supplication, with my inner eye fixed on that phantom, the phantom with her eyes stitched shut, limbs covered in oak moss. A dream of the opening of the eyes, the inert limbs now lithe and moving toward you. Ordinary objects and sounds are suddenly strange. That’s when the phantom slips through, when I hear the birds singing in a tree...

The blooming moment. Retrospectively, I am convinced that its condition of possibility was the confiscation of my phone, that it is only when we are unplugged that we can sense these holy emanations.

How calm we were, leafing through the book of Japanese death poems (jisei) in the tea house. What will be the last words I write before dying? For all I know, it could be this, or this. I remembered the dying words of George Mackay Brown: “I see hundreds and hundreds of ships sailing out of the harbour.” I remember the fragments Kafka wrote while dying, “lemonade everything was infinite,” his concern for the peony, the improvised performance—the incantation—I did at the Zinc Bar in 2015 using Kafka’s dying words, how J wept in the audience, then wrote me about the snow:

I am the guy, by the way, who said hi on the street, in the snow, after your reading. … I did indeed cry after your Kafka-Cixous incantation, partly because that phrase has been magic to me my whole life. I read Cixous' novel by that name when I studied with her and Derrida in my twenties... Her seminars were amazing. One day, funnily enough, she gave a seminar on snow in Proust, simply because snow was on the ground in Paris. For all sorts of reasons your whole reading shook and tenderised me deeply. I suppose, with the snow through the tinted glass outside, it will forever be, my imagination of what you read will forever be blanche niege texte.

(standing on the corner in manhattan with that powdery snow i was looking at the flowers when you walked past actually, turned, swivelled, i had needed to get out of the bar because the reading had touched me so much . . . i then went and wandered in the snow for an hour, till i happened on a subway, and back to my friend's in brooklyn . . . i have been thinking more today about how effective your reading was to me. it sort of made me feel i could only read poetry from now on if i was embodied, since what convinced in your reading beyond the obvious was the adjustments to us, the audience, the interruptions, the ability to break off, and then the actual concentration because of the embodiments . . . at most poetry readings i am constantly thinking 'i am at a poetry reading' and can't really get beyond the poem-as-poem-at-reading. when you read i was suddenly completely focused. the bodily resonation was right, a recuperation of grace, so i could listen. like before the internet or something. it returned me all the way to early cixous and feminine writing and what that could still mean, a writing beyond master-works and over-sociality of tact, agua viva, what korine might call 'mistakist' heaven. it was my first time in new york. my last night. stop. for now. cut the flowers.)

#poetry #literature #dreams #jisei #tea #ichimu #cixous #kafka #George Mackay Brown #Susan Howe #proust

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faeriegothfather · 2 months

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Estelle Allen, Anita Velveeta, and Jisei @ Red Gate. 07/03/24.

You can find the full set on my KoFi

#black and white #musicphotography #punk photography #diy #nikon #original photographers #punk #nwhc #cybergrind #vancouver punk #Anita Velveeta #Jisei

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ogradyfilm · 10 months

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The Poetry of Death: Jisei and Kore-eda’s After Life

Recently, I read an exquisitely curated collection of jisei—Japanese death poetry. It was a thoroughly engrossing volume, offering unique insight into man’s relationship with his own mortality. This illuminating glimpse into a cultural practice with which I was only vaguely familiar (I was aware of the verses composed by samurai before committing seppuku, but not much else) in turn contextualized the central themes of one of my favorite movies: Hirokazu Kore-eda’s After Life.

Like Professor Yoel Hoffman’s book, the film explores core tenets of Buddhist philosophy: transience, impermanence, and the rejection of self. The plot revolves around the premise that the souls of the newly deceased are permitted to choose just a single memory to carry with them into the hereafter. Rather than selecting concrete moments in time, however, most of the characters prefer to retain emotionally evocative sensory images: the fragrant petals of cherry blossoms dancing in the breeze, the cottony texture of clouds drifting past the window of an airplane, the scent of laundry detergent on a childhood blanket.

The jisei poet’s final impression of this fleeting, illusory world is likewise deeply personal; after all, the details that he commits to paper immediately prior to his departure cannot help but be significant. When he gazes out the window, what does he notice? Are the flowers in the field wilted and withered, mimicking his aged flesh? Or are they freshly bloomed—a symbol of renewal, rejuvenation, rebirth? Does morning dew glisten on the grass, or has it already evaporated in the midday heat? Are the cicadas singing amongst the treetops, or have they long since fled, their discarded husks clinging to the bark?

Such observations are not recorded for the benefit of the living; they belong to the authors alone—keepsakes, talismans, mementos intended to ease their passage to the shore beyond this material plane of existence. And despite my skepticism regarding matters of faith, I must admit that I find Kore-eda’s elaboration on this notion to be quite compelling.

For what could be more comforting than an eternity spent in the blissful embrace of one instant of happiness?

#Japanese Death Poetry #jisei #After Life #Hirokazu Kore-eda #Hirokazu Koreeda #Japanese film #Japanese cinema #Japanese poetry #Japanese culture #poetry #film #writing

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sakevisual · 1 year

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Hi!

I was curious if there was any chance that there’d be a fourth game for the Jisei series?

Yes! It's called Shinsei, and I've been working on it for a bit. I had hoped to have it done sooner, but like everyone else on this planet, the last few years have been incredibly hectic and unstable for me. It's definitely still going, though!

#visual novel #visual novels #jisei #shinsei #evns #indiegames

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lionofchaeronea · 2 years

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I'm reading a striking book called Japanese Death Poems, edited by Yoel Hoffmann. It collects brief poems composed by various Zen monks and haiku masters when they sensed that their demise was near (a poetic genre known as jisei). From that description alone, you might think it would be an unbearably morbid book, but in fact it's anything but -- the poems are a collective celebration of life's beauty, transience, and fragility, shot through with occasional touches of wry humor. Really quite remarkable.

#personal #current reading #poetry #jisei

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scenekidfancams · 11 months

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4 Cool Gay / queer artists and for pride this year (2023)

I wanted to help some queer and ally musicians boost their songs. As a trans-woman I think its important to understand that pride is important as much as change. Focusing on the hardships we have faced is very important but our victories are much more. So here are some (4) artists I (rose) recommend for pride.

Mikie mayo (any/all pronouns).

Mikie mayo (aka bunny boy) is a definitely hard to pin down Philly musician and occasional roller-coaster content creator. Mikie can be seen dabbling anything from indie pop, easycore, scene metalcore with bay area and internet rapper legend Lil B, scene electropop hyperpop, eurodance and dance pop about roller coasters and go karts, to beach pop, generally being pretty much a banger machine. Mikie's music is like ice cream w/ your favorite toppings on a warm summer day, very good and sugary sweet.

(photos by cam.i.z on ig)

these are my favorite songs / music videos by mikie mayo

youtube

Mikie has requested I let you know they have a new song about their partner and the couch they have.

click here to pre-save.

(photo by @ h0t_t0xiic on IG, couch and art by mikie's partner @ HoneyHatCompositions on IG )

FFO: eichlers, falloutboy, I set my friends on fire, dynasticc, dreamrats, cedar point amusement park, glaive, 100 gecs, etc.

(photos by rae mystic)

We Are The Union

I'm gonna cut to the chase on this one. If you want an emotional experience as a trans woman / transfemme or really any trans person to make you not feel alone and like ska / ska punk listen to Ordinary Life by we are the union. the first time I heard morbid obsessions I was working a part time (as full time really) at home depot in my small hometown in pa. I felt like as a trans woman and generally depressed person I couldn't be myself and go back to school. My boss there was the most transphobic piece of shit, and he always misgendered me and but me down. it wasn't until I quit that job and when I shifted to being myself inspired by my thoughts at the time that I accepted that I was fully a trans woman. I really related and still relate to Miss Reade Wolcott and her struggles with gender identity and be a trans woman in a transphobic world but also like her I am who I am. I would also could relate to jer and their struggles of being boxed in music genres and having what they love constantly undermined and diminished / not taken what I have to say seriously as a queer person.

youtube

FFO: New Tone, hoity toity, catbite, Eichlers, Bad operation, Kill Lincoln, etc.

Genres: ska pop, ska punk, alternative ska.

(photo by jtphotos)

Jisei (leda xo its/its and alexis she/they)

Jisei are the best queergrind band I have ever heard. the most raw queer emotions I have ever heard. Some of the best riffs I have ever heard. Imagine deathcore for the girls and the gays. The duo also make the most real lyrics I have heard in a while. For example one of I think the most topical songs they have had is "Pull Yrself Up by Your Pleasers". Pull Yrself Up by Your Pleasers being about christian nationalism and the alt-right abusing and tearing away the seperation of church and state without seeing a hint of irony. I hate the "Just asking questions" transphobia , and even though that might seem like solely a usa proving that Jisei hailing from vancouver proves that transphobia is a worldwide issue and if so called "cis allies" aren't for us 100+ %, fuck 'em.

FFO: Thotcrime, Sissy xo, hopscotch battlescars, Suicide Silence, and a lovely day for bloodshed.

Genres: Cybergrind, cyberdeath, deathgrind, deathcore, queercore and queergrind

seeyouspacecowboy.

(band photo by shutter happy jose)

last on the list here we have the one of the most popular queer scenecore bands ever. see you space cowboy. the most gay and hard band at the same time they well as sass as much as hardcore. Picture if saosin, the devil wears prada, or thrice, and/or attack attack! were queer and trans and say exclaimed faggot as fun mosh call. That would be see you space cowboy, started by brother and sister connie and ethan, seeyouspacecowboy is one of the most popular bands in screamo, metalcore and hardcore, and scenecore all at the same time. will excellent songwriting and angsty queer lyrics complimented with crushing riffs and piercing panic chords, seeyouspacecowboy will worm your way into your heart and crush your rib-cage at the same time. As a fan of vocalist connie sgarbossa, she was one of the people who helped me come out as a trans woman in the first place. The fact that a queer trans woman who screamed and force herself to the front inspirational. Yeah the fact we have to be forced to be heard kinda sucks, but it can be done and her presence in the scene made that very well known. Also it kinda helps that they spread the word on trans liberation and mental health from and trans and queer perspective and what can be done to combat transphobia in a very passionate and heartfelt way. I highly recommend their whole catolgue from their sass/whitebelt eras, to their metallic hardcore stuff, to mall scenecore era currently.

Genres: Scenecore, sasscore, whitebelt, queercore, "screamo", mall screamo, metalcore, scene metalcore, hardcore, metallic hardcore.

FFO: attack attack!, tdwp, i set my friends on fire, lacerated, thrice, norma jean, and underoath etc.

pride should be celebrated.

one last thing from a trans woman,

gender doesn't always equal sex.

gendered pronouns / pronouns in general have existed since the beginning of time.

drag queens aren't always trans.

trans people don't care about where you pee and where you are, they just wanna pee in their gendered bathroom.

cis isn't a slur.

terf isn't a slur.

leave trans people alone.

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moonmovement · 1 year

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Much has been said and written about the ��haiku moment’ - that it blurs the distinction between ‘subject’ and ‘object’, ‘self’ and ‘other’; that in it the perception of the essential and accidental, of the beautiful and the ugly, disappears; that it reflects things are they are in themselves.

- Yoel Hoffman, Japanese Death Poems

#Yoel Hoffman #Japanese death poems #jisei #poetry

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p-paradoxa · 1 year

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