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archivingspn · 3 years

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WildStorm Productions: “Supernatural Rising Son #6 (pg 19-22)″

Context: This satirical comic was co-written by Eric Kripke. The term “beast with two backs” dates back to Shakespeare’s Othello, and is a metaphor for two people having sex. It is unclear if the monster is a conjoined Jared and Jensen or Sam and Dean demon crab monster.

[Panel 1 pg19: 1990 John, Sam, and Dean Winchester in a suburban area]

John: BOYS. I WISH I COULD GIVE YOU NORMAL LIVES. I DO. BUT I JUST CAN'T. WE GOT WORK TO DO...

Dean: OH HERE WE GO AGAIN, WITH THE WORK, AND THE SADNESS,AND THE--

Sam: HEY, STOP IT! I'M SAD,TOO...

[Panel 2 pg19: 1990 John, Sam, and Dean Winchester in a suburban area but the image is distorting]

Dean: NOT AS SAD AS ME! I GOT MORE ANGST THAN I CAN SHOVEL!

Sam: PLEASE! I DEFINE "MOPEY."

[Panel 3 pg19: Distorted image of Harry Spangler and Ed Zeddmore]

Ed: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS COMIC. WE ARE CONTROLLING THE TRANSMISSION.

Harry: WE WILL CONTROL THE HORIZONTAL. WE WILL CONTROL THE VERTICAL.

FOR YOU ARE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE THE AWE AND MYSTERY OF--

[Panel 4 pg19: Clearer picture of Harry and Ed]

Harry: THE GHOSTFACERS!

Ed: I'M ED, THAT'S HARRY. AND YOU, PAL, WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF READING ONE PANSY-ASS, WEEPY-EYED, BRO-MANCE. A REAL D**K FLICK, YOU ASK ME.

[Panel 5 pg19: Harry and Ed in a comic studio with a comic artist]

Harry: WHICH IS WHY WE'VE HIRED THE FINEST ARTIST IN SOUTHEASTERN MILWAUKEE, TO SHOW YOU WHAT A "REAL MAN'S COMIC" LOOKS LIKE.

Ed: A STORY FROM OUR LIFE. RED BLOODED, TWO FISTED, EXTRA CHUNKY, AND 1000%TRUE.

Artist: YOU GUYS PROMISED ME TWENTY BUCKS.

Ed: SHUT YOUR GOB OR NO MORE SCHLITZ,RUMMY!

[Panel 6 pg19: the title card panel with a single speech bubble]

GHOSTFACERS IN: THE BEAST WITH TWO BACKS

(Off screen) Harry or Ed: SO LOCK THAT BASEMENT DOOR, AND DON'T LET MOM IN... 'CAUSE YOU'RE IN FOR THE GREATEST RIDE IN THE HISTORY OF YOUR LIFE!

Written by Eric Kripke & Peter Johnson Art by Dan Hipp Colors by Jonny Rench Letters by Wes Abbott Kristy Quinn - Assistant Editor Ben Abernathy - Editor

[Panel 1 pg 20: an establishing shot of a riverside hanger in an urban setting]

Story bubble: IT WAS JUST ANOTHER DAY AT GFHQ.

[Panel 2 pg 20: Scantily clad Maggie watching shirtless, muscular, and sweaty Harry and Ed lifting weights in a control panel room]

Ed: DUDE. I'M TOTALLY BLASTING MY DELTS.

Harry: NICE CLEAN AND JERK, ED!

Maggie: GET A ROOM, YOU GUYS.

Harry: WE HAVE ONE. WE SLEEP IN BUNK BEDS,YOU KNOW THAT.

[Panel 3 pg 20: Chimp!Kenny Spruce interacting with the control panel]

Chimp!Spruce: EEP, EEP, IP, CHEEP, URP, IP, IP!

[Panel 4 pg 20: Close up of shirtless and sweaty Harry and Ed]

Ed: WHAT'S THAT, SPRUCE? A CLASS-IV DEMON SIGHTING? WHERE?

(Off screen) Chimp!Spruce: EEP, IP, URP, CHEEP

Harry: OKAY, LET'S WATCH THE TONE, SPRUCE. NO ONE LIKES A SMARTASS.

[Panel 4 pg 20: Ed in the front with a sword wearing a sleeveless uniform with the logo GF on it. Harry, wearing the same uniform, in the back holding a big gun in each hand. Maggie is next to them holding a beeping device in one hand and gun in the other with Chimp!Spruce riding on top of her head. The background looks like an underground dungeon with mechanical attributes mixed in.]

Maggie: IT SHOULD BE CLOSE.

[Panel 5 pg 20: Close up on Harry]

Harry: YOU HEAR WE'RE SO THAT?

The Beast: PRETTYYYY. WE'RE THE PRETTIEST BOYS IN ALL THE WORLD.

[Panel 1 pg 21: A wide shot of The Beast With Two Backs holding a girl with big boobs, big eyes, and heels hostage in their arms. Sam/Jared’s head is on the right. Dean/Jensen’s head is on the left.]

Sam/Jared head: YOU'RE VERY BEAUTIFUL... WHICH IS WHY YOU MUST DIE!

Dean/Jensen head: NO ONE CAN HAVE FULLER, POUTIER LIPS THAN US! NO ONE!

[Panel 2 pg 21: Wide shot of Ed, Maggie, Chimp!Spruce, and Harry battle ready]

Harry: IT'S OUR ARCH-NEMESIS!! NEMESI? WHAT'S PLURAL?

Ed: NOW WE FINISH IT!

[Panel 3 pg 21: Close up of the Beast and Hostage Lady]

Sam/Jared Head: WITNESS THE TERRIBLE FURY OF OUR PERFECT BONE STRUCTURE!

Dean/Jensen Head: BOW BEFORE OUR HIGH CHEEK BONES!

[Panel 1 pg 22: A wide shot of Harry shooting a big gun and hitting The Beast With Two Backs shoulder making the sound effect “Whamm-o.”]

[Panel 2 pg 22: Ed in the middle of a swinging his sword at the Beast in the foreground.]

Ed: HOW'S THAT FOR THE POWER OF GRAY SKULL?!

[Panel 3 pg 22: A close up on the Beast with Two Backs. Smoke is coming out from their mouths and their eyes have been censored with black boxes]

(Off screen) Ed or Harry: NOT SO PRETTY ANYMORE,ARE YOU??!

[Panel 4 pg 22: The Beast lies defeated in the background among the smoke. The Hostage Lady is caressing Ed’s Pecs, while Maggie is caressing Harry’s. Chip!Spruce is riding on Harry’s back.]

Hostage Lady: HOW CAN I EVER REPAY YOU?

Ed: TWO WORDS: REVERSE COWGIRL.

Harry: HEY, SOMETHING'S WRONG. I FEEL WET...STICKY...

Maggie: EWWW! HARRY!

Harry: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN...

[Panel 5 pg 22: Back in the comic room the artist is passed out on the desk, and beer has been knocked over on the comic. Harry and Ed are in the foreground wearing their regular clothes and bodies]

Harry: DUDE, HE SPILLED BEER ALL OVER THE COMIC!

Ed: SO THERE YOU GO. OUR LIVES. LAUGHS, LOVE, TEARS, DARE I SAY, ENLIGHTENMENT. YOU'RE WELCOME.

[Panel 6 pg 22: A distorted close up on Harry and Ed]

Harry: YOU MUST BE SPENT. TAKE THE REST OF THE DAY FOR QUIET REFLECTION, WE OUT.

Ed: AND DON'T FORGET-- THE MOVIE RIGHTS FOR THIS BAD BOY ARE WIDE OPEN!

Story box: THE END

#2008-Aug #2008:August27 #*wincest #*jared/jensen #*queerbaiting #*codependency #Eric Kripke #WildStorm Productions #Supernatural Rising Son 6 #*magazines #cw: homophobic language #cw: offensive content

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