#Just struggling a bit with mental health

[canisalbus]

I really appriciate how often Machete is depicted struggling and feeling like a burden, while still being loved and supported by Vasco. It gives the top tier angst of "i'm not good enough, I'm not worth it" but you frame it in such a way where it's clear that's just how he *feels* and is not how things really are, but also it's so nice to see someone who struggles quite often in a loving and unique relationship that suits them. The narrative of not being able to love or be loved unless you're consistently healthy is really tiring lol.

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#ah thank you! I'm so glad these themes come through the way I intended #this touches on something that I've been thinking a lot so sorry if this gets a bit ranty #but I have massive personal beef with the sentiment “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else/someone else can love you ” #I hate it with a passion #I know it's meant to encourage positive growth and I get that self-love and healthy self-image are something you should strive for #but it also sort of sends the message that people who struggle with these sort of issues don't deserve to be loved #not until they reach some external invisible standard of “okay I'm normal and well adjusted now” #“perhaps now I'm worthy of entering a relationship without the danger of dragging the other person down with me” #people who aren't in perfect health mentally or physically already feel like they're inconveniencing others with their mere existence #depriving them of the possibility or even the idea of loving and being loved won't make them better #it's just a stupid idiom it doesn't matter but to me it just comes across as unspeakably cruel way to think #and it rustles my jimmies #answered #anonymous

[darubyprincx]

to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)

#ray's tag #keys' art #undescribed #skeletons #ok to reblog #the skeleton model that i traced for this was provided by the incredible kiku @kikunai whom you can find right here on tumblr! #so uh. This is a piece about chronic fatigue although the original idea i had for it drifted a bit as soon as I started coloring the linear #(i really enjoy shading and lighting things and got a bit carried away here but i stand by my choice because this is my favorite thing #that i've ever drawn) #anyways. i often feel especially lately with school being back in season that my bones are leaden with this sort of. weariness. theyre heav #it weighs on our mental health and energy a lot and although there's a couple of reasons we have been given for it #that doesn't remove the fact that this is still a thing that affects us in a very real way day to day although we are good at masking it. #often i come home to find that i do not have the physical mental or creative energy to work on things i really want to #especially project: nexus which i feel extra bad about even though i can't help it because i just started it so recently #it is a mild to moderate struggle to make it day to day and i just. wanted to represent this somehow #my original concept for this was a skeleton with some black goop gunk whatever leaking from its joints #but as i started adding the cracks and coloring them gold (a personal touch; kintsugi is a concept that is very dear to us) #i realized that the focus here was less on the condition itself and more on the body that it afflicts. #so i put it into a spotlight. #ironic i know since very little people acknowledge this irl or even know it exists at all but i added rim lighting. I added color gradients #I colored the lineart and made it all fancy and even added a flare for the head to get the point across that even at its core; disability i #a performance. this is not implying that disabilities are fake in fact this is the opposite of that. i wanted to show that with disabilitie #especially i think in my personal opinion the invisible ones #we are all masking at least a little bit during the vast majority of the day. humans are social creatures and it is only when we are alone #or with someone we deeply trust where we allow ourselves to be who we truly are without fear and even then that can be rare #so i wanted to show this bit of the soul in as broad a limelight as i could. idk this is a really abstract piece and i dont know if anyone #will even get it but it matters to me at least. and even though we've been largely bedridden for the past week i think that's okay #we will get it figured out. all of us. okay? okay. i love you. i fucking love you. we are going to fucking make it #(also the xes over the eyes are because i thought they looked cool they have no deeper meaning at least i think they dont #actually i think they do but i cant put it into words idk. Art is subjective assign your own meaning i'm gonna go get a shower)

[chrollohearttags]

I have not felt an ounce of inspiration to write on this app for a while if I’m being honest. I don’t think I’m leaving but a LONG sabbatical is looking real nice.

#I’m just exhausted tbh #I really keep struggling with my mental health more than I thought and this hellsite hasn’t helped one bit #I know nobody gaf and it’s not their responsibility to but I’m not a machine and #let’s be real y’all only deem writers on here useful if they’re churning out fics or listening to you rant #not to mention the rampant anti blackness and hateful anons..it’s getting old man #begging for fics with no reblogs or commentary #idk I just want my spark back bc writing makes me happy but I don’t feel anything #maybe I just need a nice day out to get rid of this feeling #cherry chats 🍒

[itspileofgoodthings]

one of my fave things about teaching is that I’m NOT a counselor and I don’t have to get into the weeds with a student but also I’m part of their life every day and i see when they’re struggling and I can ask how them how they’re doing and make sure that they know I see them on a steady, daily basis and it will be healing for both of us

#I teach a student who hit a wall a few weeks ago and just refused to go to school and was just all around struggling with his mental health #and this is not a kid who wants to talk to me about it or would even know how and I also know he has people where he can #But I’ve just tried to make sure that There’s a little extra contact and a few more questions and just a little bit more #and obviously I am not the cause of his doing better but overall I know that it helps #while still being such a subtle and ordinary human exchange that doesn’t force either of us to go to extreme lengths #like man I really LOVE that space and living in it #and just being a (hopefully) stable place for the kids to be seen in a small but consistent way #teaching tag #something about holding them in the safety of manners while also modeling what that looks like for them #it’s so gratifying to me and it helps me too! #like yes we should greet each other! We should ask how we’re doing! we should exchange pleasantries #and it’s important to me that that happens without getting personal sometimes or overly involved #pleasantries don’t have to be cold things and you can be seen and validated by a momentary kind glance as much as by someone digging #into your soul #it can be light and life-giving at the same time #it can be fun! #I’m sorry I’m rambling and over-saying this but it’s Saturday #!!!!!!

[kinnbig]

🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

#this is so incredibly stupid #but i've just spent such a long time worrying about my physical health and everything going on with that #(and there's still so much weirdness and uncertainty and scariness going on with my physical health) #but it just somehow never occured to me that i'm also depressed. #like. i had BAD depression as a teenager but i've been mostly mentally okay in the last 5 years. my issues have mostly been physical. #and then these last few months since all this scary health stuff started happening i've been so lethergic and unmotivated #and have been isolating myself from my friends #and struggling to find fun in any of the things that i love #i've been sad and stressed and empty but somehow. SOMEHOW. i did not consider that i was suffering from some Mental Unwellness dfkjfdjkdjkf #i just thought i was being pathetic #🫠🫠🫠 #it sounds so stupid but now i realise i actually feel a bit better? #like oh. OH! depression! i hate you but i know what you are! #i'm not just a bad friend and an embarrassingly pathetic creature. there's a reason!!!!! #and there are ways to deal with it!!! #cool!!! #but also like it makes sense?! i'm incredibly sick and in a lot of pain and spending so much time getting tests and worrying #of course that's going to affect my mental health lol. #okay. anyway. yeah #tbd

[faggotslime]

The worst thing you can do to yourself when you're struggling mentally or with life issues is to think helping others with their own issues instead of prioritizing yourself will somehow pan out to fixing whatever you're going through.

#vent #personal #as much as i appreciate people saying theyd be there for me #trauma bonding won't fix either of our problems #i struggle with not overexpending myself just as much as the next struggling empathetic person #but please prioritize yourself over complete strangers #do the absolute best you can for yourself in tandem with people doing the same for themselves #if having a savior complex has taught me anything it is that no amount of helping others helps you #thats nit commentary about empathy either #we absolutely should care about eachother and how we all struggle #but only trying to help others wont fix anything you yourself are going through #i wish life was easier for us to navigate #or at the very least a bit easier to understand #it's not #and i hate that its a constant fight #but at the end of the day all i truly have is myself to rely in and no one else #because nobody aside me can fix my life #please for the love of god dont let mental health Tumblr find this and assume i dont guve a fuck about others struggling #i do and i care too much about other people struggling than my own struggle #it feels easier to tackle problems and find somutions when they arent your own nightmare to deal with #i truly wish someone could fix my life and i could fix someone elses #emotional communism— OUR problems 🤝 #sigh

[enden-k]

im sorry to hear people are stomping all over your boundaries, big props to you for sticking up for yourself and putting your foot down. I hope you're doing ok (/gen)

on another, hopefully happier note, i noticed your info post mentions that you self ship! I'd love to hear about your favourite self ships if you're comfortable talking about them some time?

i actually never did or had interest in this but then haitham waltzed in so hes the first and only one (this whole thing flusters me so its smth i indulge in for myself in private by reading or daydreaming or sometimes i babble and ramble about him very in depth)

(most hkvthm things i draw is just me going 'wish that was me' and drawing it LMFAO)

ohh also same w kaveh but in a slightly different way than haitham (theyre both the only ones) i want them to hold hands. i want them to hold my hands. there

#i dont feel attraction to ppl irl mostly bc im just not comfortable around ppl #and the ones i am are my friends and theres obv no romantic attraction #so when i saw haitham and learned more and mroe of him and how he and i share so many traits and ideas and things it was #instant comfort and the feeling of being understood #that its like #if he was real i would seek out his warmth and presence instead of getting away frm it like with my ex partners when it was too much for me #knowing that he would understand me therefore knowing how to handle me without making me uncomfortable or upset #uhh so basically. he made me realize all i want is just someone who perfetly understands me and knows how to treat me #when to come close and when to give me space #perfectly knowing me and reading me #i cant speak and in the rare moments i am able to im often struggling to form my thoughts into sentences that make sense #so he would still understand and put together that garbled mess and know exactly what i mean #not misunderstanding and acusing me of things or tones i never said or used #ppl and things messed me up quite a bit in the past that im having trouble w lots of things unless im alone #only when im alone i feel truly comfortable and safe bc nothing can hurt or upset me but even then you kinda realize in some moments that #you actually want someone with you but it has to be smn you trust and who knows you inside out and all that #i dont have anyone like that and idk if i ever will but rn this character is jsut rotating in my head giving me these things i crave and #thats enough #sorry that was a lot of gay rambling there but yea idk if it sounds stupid or nah but my #mental health issues got way better and balanced ever since haitham so he really #grounds me and gives me strength and comfort to deal with things i would have be unable to do in the past year #bc even if i dont have smn who truly knows and understands me #inside me there is someone #reply #tags tbd #in case i get embarrassed LMFAO

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Yeah I'll try not to post much here (ADHD memory I'll try my best) for the strike as it's all I can do, maybe some Palestine posting for it too, so I'll save ask answers and fnaf posting for afterwards. There's currently a big ol' storm here at the moment making the internet a bit spotty so it's not like it's easy to post right now anyway so you're not really gonna be missing much

And to the anon in my inbox, hi I see you. You're not annoying or anything with your asks I'm just slow and now participating in the strike so I'm sorry but you'll probably be waiting a spell for those answers. Doing what I can, even if it's tiny, is more important right now I feel

#it's not like I've been posting anything interesting lately anyway outside those asks and stuff #most of my posts are just 'hey I drew a thing but I won't show you it yet' at the moment #people aren't exactly missing anything of value lmao #but yeah I can't do anything else #I have no money and I don't leave the house ever most of the things called for aren't applicable to me #cause I already don't do anything like that #I sign online petitions and send emails when I can if I'm being asked to dip from social media for a week and boost palestinian voices- #when I'm here? yeah that's not a lot to ask of me #I've dipped from social media like this before for my health it's real good for me #it's all I can do AND it's benefitting me anyway to keep my stuff offline for a bit #only change is coming back to reblog the latest palestine stuff which I plan to do on my main #sometimes you just have to put the socials down I can do that it's no big ask of me it's merely a habit #that my ADHD struggles to stick to if I just move a bunch of shortcuts around lmao easy consider it done #my only problem is being mentally unprepared because my tism likes to know in advance but I'll live so... #c'yas later!!! #(I'll still be on Discord though if anyone that has it wants a chit chat)

[cutearose]

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#having a bit of a breakdown bc i keep fucking everything up bc of how bad my mental heath is rn #and im so tired of feeling like this useless burden #i keep fucking up in the exact same ways and its expensive and frustrating and stressful #and it sucks to be losing my mind over these mistakes while also just aggressively not wanting to be alive #like what does it matter if my bike is dead bc i ruined it and now cant go to my friends wedding? what does anything even matter? #being alive is too fucking hard #and i am very alone and dont want to burden anyone w my mental health anyway #but i am just. completely falling apart at the moment #and im so fucking tired all the time #hhhhhHHHHHH #struggling here pals. #post

[cuteasducks9]

Feeling weird and mushy today.

I think I have realised that there may not be many people out there that truly care for me. But today it hit me that that is ok and I should appreciate those I have.

🧡

#I've been struggling recently and today we did a bit on mental health with my course at work #and something just clicked #it was weird #personal

[amaryllisandbluebells]

Honestly, as much as being able to hate on everyone under the sun because they have NPD (or because someone thinks they do) sucks ass, I think the opposite is true for BPD. This does not mean there is no stigma, or shared cluster b disrespect. But a lot of people really do have ridiculous double-standards on how these conditions should be treated, sometimes even people with one of these themselves and it drives me crazy. You're not allowed to bring up that a person with BPD can be just as abusive as someone with NPD (OR NO CONDITION BUT MY POINT'S THE SAME, DUDE), or even exhibit a lot of the same behaviors as NPD neutrally, because the general idea held by even some people who talk about the stigma is that NPD is worse because they are "more aware of their actions" or some shit? Like, wtf? (Way to insult loads of people at the same time, wow.)

Not helped by this is the fact that, I'm not going to lie: the BPD subreddit is also a god-awful mess of abuse justification, because BPD people are so horribly "woobified" by their own issues that apparently it's okay if they do what they're doing. Outside of that, you seriously can't talk about BPD people being abusers or exhibiting abusive behaviors without a million caveats about why they do that (despite the fact that the same holds true for every other disorder). They are so victimized by their own condition in people's heads that it's impossible to call them out on their behaviors.

I'm not saying that painting a group of people as abusers is ever right, but it's also not right to paint them as the victims always simply because of their mental disorder. That's absurd.

#not even getting into how similar npd and bpd are and how sometimes i feel like there's gender bias in diagnosis #mental health #personal #rant #i feel like this has to do with how the conditions present. #Despite having such a similar core and both of them being caused by similar hurt + genetic factors #BPD people can SEEM easier to sympathize with because their struggle is more obvious. #NPD is a condition that tries to hide away much more and as such can be a bit harder to understand #But they're just... Mental disorders that's it. #I wish things were way more balanced. #But it feels like it's either just pure villification or no accountability :/

[icedtoastt]

Body horror and disability is so !!!! Yes!! My body is a prison, a cage that actively despises me!!!! I want to kill my body, be freed from it, but it won’t stop eating away at me!!!!! My own body has betrayed me and holds me down!!! Yessss girl!!!

#iced screams to the void #but mannnn can you tell I’ve been struggling #aaaaaaaaaaaaa having a flare up has not been good for my mental health #don’t recommend being forcefully isolated!! not great! #but mannnn do I feel like hating my body rn. it just sucksss why do you have to do all that #feeling rather salty and have cried for a bit. —time to post this on tumblr.com

[mrfoox]

Let's take a moment here to just.... Think about myself again.

5 years ago I could never see myself living on my own, working at any capacity and much less feel happy

Guess who's doing all those things? Yeahhhhhhh

I laugh everytime I say it out loud but I am basically living my dream life. Only a few things off the mark

#miranda talking shit #I forget I've come a bit... Like I know these milestones aren't anything special for many people if not most #But as someone who's been struggling with depression and suicidal thought for 15+ years.... #Living by myself with my cats I have been since 2020. I've been working for the first time in my life since March #I've been HAPPY and CONTENT and NOT depressed every minute of my life since like February.... #I tried committing suicide in 2015. I was convinced I'd have kms before I become an adult #My mental health issues will always hold me back to some degree and I'll never be normal but like... #Just having to deal with my anxiety/autism/add is A LOT easier when I'm not thinking about jumping off a building #I'm.... Can't believe I'm saying this. I'm proud of me.

[furshrimps]

Sometimes I'm wondering if I'll ever have another cat or dog after the ones I'm living with now have passed. I'd definitely like to! My dream still is a Papirunners puppy. Or if not that specifically, definitely a Papillon from another responsible breeder. But if a dog is not possible for health and/ or financial reasons, maybe I'd like to share my life with a cat again? Ideally I'd maybe love to have both so they're not all alone if I have to leave the apartment for xyz reasons. But I wonder?

#random stuff #sometimes I think about that and I'm curious what will happen in the future #in a few years I'll probably know more #however I'm thinking of maybe staying pet free for a while just to see how that affects mephysically and mentally #idk how well I'd be doing without another soul to share my life with #but there's also the health and financial aspects to consider #these foremost tbh #I'm pretty sure I'm not going to have more than 1-2 dogs or cats az any given time again #unless my health turns towards significant improvement anyways #but maybe even then #I love all of them but 3 is actually a bit much for me as I'm now #I'm hoping all 3 will be with me for a good number of years still #despite the struggles and all #but sometimes I'm still wondering what'll happen after that

[miffyangel]

it’s crazy how much better my self image got when i started dressing how i wanted instead of hiding in big tshirts and hoodies every day

#was def a bit uncomfortable at first bc it was out of my comfort zone #but i’m having so much fun with it now :) i haven’t worn dresses/skirts in a while #except for maxi dresses #bc i was insecure about my legs but i started wearing them again and i love it !!!! #also tw weight talk but i weigh the most i’ve ever weighed but i also feel like i’m the hottest i’ve ever been so #considering everything i think that’s a good sign for my mental health because i struggled w disordered eating my whole life #and have to actively combat negative body thoughts & have my body commented on fairly regularly by family #im just rambling tho