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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

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Kait Reacts To The AE 13/13

Hi! These reactions are written out every time a Chatroom opens and it’s done over the course of the day. So, you’re watching me react in real time as it is for me. This is the final reaction post.

Thank you for reading these if you have been here with me since the start as I let myself fall into this rabbit hole. You’ve watched me cry and react, and now we... have reached the end. But, it’s not the end of our story, it doesn’t just end when the camera fades to black. No. It won’t. It will continue in our hearts, and I will never forget what Mystic Messenger means to me. Not even when the game is over and I can’t reach it anymore to find my sense of comfort. It will always be in my heart.

This isn’t the end of me talking about Mystic Messenger. I have so many thoughts and theories ahead of me to talk about that I learned from this ending and what I will learn from the Bad Endings.

It was there for me when my life started to change. It was the lowest point in my life and the game saved me. I know it saved a lot of you, as well. So, this one is dedicated to Saeran. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you, and thank you for giving me the faith to believe in myself. Thank you to the RFA, all of you, for being there for me. Just as I was there for you. You’ll never know just how much you mean to me.

I pray that our promise of happiness... that our four seasons... are spent together with all of us peaceful and joyful until the very end.

[10:00] THE FINAL END.

The final discussion before the end, huh? This is a chatroom with everyone where we’re talking about what’s to come. What’s to happen and the faith that we have in each other. Yoosung begins a discussion on the notion of Eternal Love without Pain or Eternal Love with Pain. It’s a fun little philosophical debate with the RFA as we go over the sweet and the sour. How things can be good but we in the end, nobody has to suffer to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Love will prevail in the end no matter what happens, whether you were hurt or not in the process.

I agree with that. Love exists no matter what. You don’t have to be hurt to be loved and you don’t have go through pain to be deserving of love. You can find love at any point in your life and you should cherish that as close to your heart as you can when you feel it for the first time. I liked being able to talk to the RFA about this because it’s... much of a release as I take the time to catch my breath and breathe.

Because... I know this is the end. I had to take some time to breathe and let this out before I played. I knew that it was going to affect me so I wanted to savor the moment as long as I possibly could. It was worth that. Although, I was already starting to cry but I laughed so when they let me break the fourth wall in this chat.

They call this a game of choices and freedoms that we all make and what do we call this game?

You can life, or you can say Mystic Messenger.

It won’t harm your choices once you’ve gotten to this point so you can say it and watch it play out. This is just a snippet of the conversation. I need you to get the rest of it for yourself because... it’s much different to experience then it is to hear about from me, you know? They wish me luck on my mission. I take it and I don’t look back.

This is on me now.

Now here comes the first visual novel mode that you have to pass before you can see the Good Ending. I know what the game wants me to do. It wants me to do as Saeran did. It wants me to have faith and to be kind, and it isn’t begging me to forgive anyone. It’s giving me the option to take that road if I want to take it and seeing what Saeran did, I’m willing to chance it. I’m willing to listen. I have given Rika and V one chance here to prove to me that they can acknowledge who they are and what they’ve done. It’s not shaming me like what happens in V’s After Ending, more or less. It’s letting me have that freedom.

Rika owns up to everything in front of me and bears out her heart. She knows that she has done wrong and she admits it. She admits everything and says that she will no longer run away from this or lie to herself. See, this is what I wanted. This is not asking much. I want her to admit that she’s wrong and say it. Mean it. You can’t grow if you don’t admit that you fucked up or did things wrong. This is what she needs.

I may not like her, and I may not forgive her. But, I’m willing to say that I took a chance to let her have that catharsis. She needed it more than I did. I may not like Rika but I don’t want her to be depressed and lost. In reality, I want her to be able to grow and find herself. I want her to face her crimes. I want her to live with that. But, I don’t want her to rot away in misery while serving her time. I want her to get better for herself.

She can have that.

But, only when admitting that she will pay for what she did. Only when she says that she will face reality. I don’t expect anyone to give her or V another chance or let them back into their lives, but at the end of the day, it feels like Rika will be able to work on herself while she repents for what she did in prison.

She can have that. I’m not angry about that. I couldn’t be. I may not be like Saeran, I may not be able to forgive the people that hurt me in my life, but I can give a chance to someone that wants to admit they were horrible and that they want to change.

Sometimes, it’s never too late for yourself. It may be too late to get back what you broke, but you can find yourself. At the end of the day, she needed that more than I did and I’m too nice of a person. Saeran decided to embrace and leave behind his hatred even though he still feels it. He won’t let it consume him anymore. I’m following after him because that makes me a better person. But, I know that Saeyoung and I have far more in common on the forgiveness front.

But, it felt like the right thing to do.

I don’t forgive her but I wish her emotional journey the best. Make something of your life as you face punishment, Rika.

Once this is over, we start to go and look for Saeran. But, we jump back to Zen and Yoosung. Jumin is announcing his bid for politics. He also announced his own company, Queen Elizabeth, which he will be using to create an intelligence team that will be able to work for the people and stop dirty politicians.

It’s a good idea, honestly. That’s very Jumin Han of them to go through with. Zen and Yoosung, however, are both surprised when they see that Jumin announces that Zen will be on their promotion team, Jaehee will be his chief organizer, and Yoosung is leader of the undergraduate unit. They did not know he was going to do that.

Jumin simply says: The RFA is inseparable from my legacy.

Saeran passed out during the night sometime during his emotional crisis when his phone died on us when we were talking to him. He thinks that he is okay, but when he raises his head, he realizes that he spoke too soon. Saejoong is here with his guards. Rika isn’t there, Saejoong is incredibly angry.

He insults and degrades Saeran the entire time, calling him things that I really shouldn’t at all repeat but let me just say that it’s in line with what Mother Choi said to him when he was growing up. He taunts him, and tries to kick him around, “You know, I could at least relate to Saeyoung, he’s smart and crafty. But you... you’ve got your mother’s face. Did you ever think that Saeyoung took all the talent from you from the start? You’ve always been weak.”

And this is the part of the story where I just lose my mind and I can’t just shaking from anger at Saejoong. He lashes out. He starts to hurt Saeran over and over again as if that’s going to solve all of his fucking problems. Saeran just lets him do it, too. He accepts it. He keeps his head raised high and he decides to the end, he will not let himself fall to his anger. If this is the end, he will not leave a mark of anger on this world.

He thinks of... me. In that moment before his body hurts too much for him to take the pain and he slumps over when it just becomes too much for him. And, that is when I start crying.

Visual novel ends.

I’m fucking sobbing at this point because I don’t know if this is meant to happen or if I’ve triggered the last Bad Ending. Even here, he’s putting his heart into all that he has. He refuses to stop choosing to be free and happy. This is all that he wants and he will not let himself die without leaving a good memory for me. He can’t handle the thought but he whimpers and the screen goes black.

The entire RFA calls after this and I sigh in relief because I must have done something right and this isn’t the end. to say that to Rika. They both need to face it for their crimes. But, even at the end of the day, Jumin Han is a great man.

They all let me know that they believe in me and from this point, everything is my choice. They let me know they believe in me but everything from here on is in my hands. This is my freedom. This is my choice. This is my ending and I get to choose that.

They make me smile through my tears as I’m playing because— The RFA will always be a family and a part of me. I let them know that I love them all, cause I do and then I hang up to start the final section of the game. I don’t know I’m ready but I have to be for Saeran. I’ll not forget that they have faith in me to do the right thing.

Oh, and before I forget, Jumin said to tell V that he needs a good lawyer, but not

He opens the scene. He admits the truth that I always knew. He didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay. He wanted to stay so badly but he saw no other choice for himself and he was never okay with it. I sense that he’s in the area as it jumps back to where I am. I’m with V, Rika, and Driver Kim. Saeran is where we left him the night prior by the water, and he’s on the ground about to be taken away by Saejoong Choi.

Like a pawn to end.

No.

Everyone tells me not to move. Not to go. But, I’m not going to let him get away and leave me. Leave the others. This is not his fate here. I won’t let him resign himself to that. So, I’m already risking everything and I’m not looking back, if we burn, we burn together, and if we live, we live together. There’s no other way for this to be.

Me: I love you.

Saeran: It’s no use. Now I can’t die. Because of you.

Me: Now should be happy with me, okay?

Saeran: ...

Saeran: .....

Me: No, no, no, wake up, Saeran, wake up!

I fear he’s gone for good for a minute there. I want to breathe, but Saejoong is the monster that he is. He immediately jumps to the blame game. He says that he can use this. He can blame me. He wants to use this against Saeyoung as it needs to be in his world, and then... he will use that man until he’s no longer got use. Then, he’ll let him die. It’s as simple as a transaction to him. I hate that. I really do.

I’m just so angry at him.

But, I know that Saeran wouldn’t want me to lose myself to that. More than anything, I pity this son of a bitch because does he really think this of himself to the point where nothing matters but his desires? His greed that deep? Is this all he wants? Saeran and Saeyoung never wanted this, and they never wanted to fight him. They just wanted to be able to live, that’s what I tell him, feeling that strength brewing.

I’m just so done with hurting Saeran.

He pauses, “Oh, that’s where he learned all of that nonsense.”

“Your heart much be a dark and lonely place. Doesn’t it hurt to be that way? No matter what you do, no matter how much pain and victory you make for yourself, at the end of the day, you’ll never stop feeling lonely. Isn’t that sad?”

He pauses because he thinks I’m either an idiot or I’ve lost my mind. He decides to hear me out on this one. I tell him that he will pay for everything that he has done thus far here, that’s a given. He scoffs. He said that maybe if it was just the agency, they might have been able to live, but they’ve done nothing but ruin his life. “Why don’t you see it from my shoes instead of the weaklings?”

“I’m sure something hurt you in your past. I can see that you locked away your heart and replaced it with a chain and cruelty.”

“...I’ve never seen someone as helplessly innocent as you. I don’t get it. It’s not me. It’s the world. You can only get what you want when you’re cruel.” He is very quick to explain his thought process. He thinks that if he never started to be this person then he would have never stopped shining the shoes of the elite instead of this. He says that you only win when you destroy. And, I decide to tell him what I know that Suit Saeran learned.

This isn’t forgiveness. This is me trying to understand why people are so cruel and why the hell they’re like this. I let him know that if he keeps being cruel that he is damning himself to isolation. He’s damned himself and he knows that he has done it. Even in that blackened heart, he knows the truth. I don’t think he cares to even think of it. Saejoong still enrages me and I can’t stand him, but I can see why he is the way he is.

Cool motive, still murder, bro.

He pauses again. He feels sick. He doesn’t believe that Saeran can be happier than him. He thinks that happiness can only come from destruction, and to be utterly honest, it’s the same thinking that Rika held in her hands and I hate that trait. If he survives all his battles, he says, then he is the victor no matter the details. The devil is in the details, don’t you know? I’ve struck a nerve because he starts to blame me.

“Don’t you know what their mother and those boys put ME through?”

Oh, I know what you went through, you fucking bastard. I don’t give a fuck about you. You’re a sad old man that has hurt others his entire life and you deserve to be put away for what you did to everyone. He starts to crack for real though, as he slowly realizes more and more that love isn’t something he can be capable of and it’s never something that he will get. It means nothing, which he knows is a lie. He is a monster, he knows, and his quest didn’t give him the time to look for something more. He says there is no changing things.

He has to use the twins or he’ll be dead.

I just look at him, tired. “You must be so lonely.”

Saeran stirs awake for sure, he must have been blinking in and out of his state of alertness. He looks at me for a moment but then he forces himself to his feet as fast as he can. I want to get him help, but he says to wait. He does something that I don’t think I’ll ever be capable of. He embraces his father and says that he must have been so lonely. That nobody ever understood him in his life and that he came this far by himself... how awful that must have felt all this time. It says that it must have been... “So hard.”

Then he falls out again.

I manage to catch him before he hurts himself and Saejoong remains in shock while Saeran thanks me.

And he pan away once more. Jumin tells everyone what happened. He said that his announcement went well. He also breaks the news that I was able to get to the point in time, intercepting Saejoong and Saeran before it was too late. He is really injured and but we’re on our way to safety. However, Saejoong got away at the last second.

Fade to black.

We return once again, this time we’re in a hospital room and I have to wait for a long minute as I collect myself and my tears. There’s just so much happening in this room all at once that I’m overwhelmed with what’s happening. Saeyoung is here. Saeran is still asleep, and it’s been three days. The media and everyone is turning back to our side. People are starting to see the RFA as good again, and there is no doubt that we’ve got a good story ahead. Saejoong is on the run as far as know, and I’ll get to Rika and V in a moment.

Saeyoung and I have another talk. I let him know that it’s okay. Saeyoung tells me that he finished with the agency. He says that the truth will be coming very soon, but he had to tell Jumin first before it went to the media. So, that is going to be happening. We no longer have to live in fear. The brothers no longer have to live in fear.

Saeyoung will never forgive Saejoong. I won’t, either. But, I do have to tell him that Saeran did forgive him. But, he says that Saeran is kinder and better than him in that aspect. I won’t let this happen again, he says. He wants to make up for being a bad brother. His to-do list is getting pretty long. I know that it will be okay in due time.

Vanderwood comes in and says that they hate to break the moment, but they need to go. Someone saw Saejoong nearby. He tells me to stay with Saeran as he.... he may not be safe. I do. I say I’ll tell him when he wakes up. He winds up leaving after that. I then tell Saeran it’s okay, and how longer does he want to play this sleep act?

I sort of expected that. He’s still trying to get himself ready to face his brother and it’s going to take time again. He’s got all the time in the world now but I know that he will let me know when he’s ready. Saeran says that he’s out of time and I am confused. Then he drops the bombshell that Saejoong came to see him and that HE’S IN THE FUCKING ROOM.

I’m like: WHAT?

Saeran grips my hand and shakes his head, “If I thought he would hurt you, I wouldn’t let you near him.”

Saejoong appears and says that he knows that Saeyoung won’t forgive him and that he will want to act out his revenge by putting him away. But, he is... okay with that? He says that almost losing all of his power and everything that he ever knew made him stop in his tracks, and he doesn’t understand why I told him what I told him, but—

“You two understood a part of myself that I abandoned. I felt something I didn’t know that I had anymore. That I forgot. I surely didn’t understand why you would say all that when you thought you were going to die, Saeran. I can’t stop thinking of the nonsense you all said.... sorry for the monologue. I need to catch up with Saeyoung. I won’t have to run anymore. I won’t have a beautiful life. I never found the way to that, but... maybe you two.... I must go. But, thank you. Thank you for saying what you did.”

“So, you had a change of heart?”

He’s simply decided to turn himself in. Nothing more. I’m left with Saeran and he smiles. I smile back. He’s finally free. He’s finally free of everything that held him down and I’m so happy for him. You did this Saeran. You did it and you found yourself in the end. I’m proud of you for that. I have to say that I’m not upset that you choose forgiveness. That felt right for you and I wasn’t upset about the way that that was handled. You choose that for yourself.

You’ve always had a kind heart.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that he’s going to let them into his life, but it will help him move on from what’s happened and I respect his choice. This is his freedom and it’s a beautiful thing to see.

It fades to black.

[6 MONTHS LATER.]

A chatroom opens. Jaehee, Yoosung, and Zen are there. They’re talking about what’s changed and what’s happening now. She’s still in charge of Jumin’s well, everything, but she’s steady in that job now. She’d rather be Zen’s manager, though, she jokes.

Jumin was elected to office, by the way. He’s on his way to changing the world. Zen made countless deals and he is on his way to Broadway. He’s going to be leaving soon but he’ll be back before anyone knows it. Yoosung is going to study abroad in France, can you believe it? He wants to a pastry chef! That’s alot better than being a vet, which we know that he wasn’t entirely passionate about.

I’m so proud of them! All of them!

Vanderwood went to their hometown. I wish them the best, too. Nobody knows a damn thing about them and we never will, haha.

Something to note: V will be released when his trials are over. It’s a foot note but they just say it simply. Nobody seems to be in contact with Rika and V and that is how it should be. Everyone is living their own lives now and they have every chance to decide if they want to forgive Rika and V, but I know that that isn’t going to be likely. Which, of course, But, it’s everyone’s choice. Yoosung is kind and says that he hopes for he best for V, that he will find a better life. They all agree with that.

But it’s obvious that nobody is going to interact with them again. I don’t blame them, I don’t want to, either. But, I do wish them whatever they can find that is good for them after they pay for the price of what they’ve done. I like how this was handled. This is how you play forgiveness and judgment. It’s not about how we handle this with rage, it’s about we handle our process personally. Freedom and choice are the theme of Saeran’s After Ending.

I stand by that.

I like this. I loved this while ride that we were on even though it hurt me on the way. It made me really happy. It made me really sad. It made me go through a whole cycle... and I needed that. I got a good chuckle out of this, though, and I can say that it made me smile. Fourth wall breaks are okay when they’re like this and they’re not like YOUR APRIL FOOLS DLC, HYUN RYU.

And the chat concludes as they talk about what Saeyoung has been up to and what Saeran and I have been up to lately. It feels like the RFA is going to go for their own ways for a little while, but we’ll always be interconnected with one another and this messenger is our space to share that with each other all of our days. No matter what happens, no matter where we go, we’ll always have the Mystic Messenger (Don’t Tell Jumin we renamed it) to come to when we need to have un with our family.

Because they are our family.

We are a family.

We will always be interconnected, just as Jumin Han said.

Then chatroom fades to black and I pause, knowing that the real end is ahead of me when I tap my screen. I take a deep breath and let it wash over me.

This isn’t the end of my love for this game, the characters, the people I’ve met because of the game, or the people that have changed my life. It’s been four years since I first opened the chatroom and I can say that I needed to know that it was going to be okay in the end. I feel like it will be okay in the end for me. I feel like it will be okay for Saeran, Saeyoung, and the rest of the RFA. I’m hitting the end here so forgive me, I’ve been crying since I finished this morning. I’ve been writing on this since I finished.

They gave me that. They gave me so much light, hope, and warmth. I will never forget them. I will continue to keep them in my heart. I hope they know that in the universe that is separating us. I feel like they know that. I like to think that they do, anyway. It’s not the end of my love. Love always persists and wins, don’t you know that?

It’s a lesson always lead your life with your heart first. Love hard, love fast, love stupid, love smart, love however you can and lavish yourself in that freedom and let it see where it takes you. Sure, there’s bound to be bumps in the road but it will be okay in the end, and at the end, that’s the message that I take away from Mystic Messenger today as I finish Saeran’s After Ending.

That your heart is something that you should cherish and never let go of. Thank you for everything.

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

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God bless the anon who asked you about your reactions for Saeran's AE today of all days and bless you more for posting the link of a literal masterlist of your rxns because I finished the AE for the first time just today – was feeling brave so collected a bunch of sad and bad endings along with the good and normal ones😩✋🏽

I.....needless to say, now I'm just a blubbering mess (WHY IS HE LIKE THIS????)

but am I even a Mysme fan if I don't seek out well-written analyses like yours so that I can get even more dehydrated?

anyway, thank u & ily <333

- 〽️

Good job! It takes a lot of hard work to get all of the endings in his After Ending. A few of them are tricky and a few of them are kind of obvious. It just takes a little bit of effort to grab them all. They all can hurt and they all can feel bittersweet. Some of them are distressing and some of them are just... sad, hence SEs and BEs.

By writing my reactions, it helped me to better see where I thought I was going and where I thought this would end. Sometimes I was on the money with my guesses, other times, I was thrown for a loop with what they were doing. Either way, I was always on the tips of my toes.

I cried the entire time I was reading through the final visual novel and it still gets to me. Saeran is a great character and I truly am grateful for him in countless ways, but to know that he is dedicated to us as we are to him is a blessing in itself, even if it hurts sometimes to see him be selfless.

He's learning how to be selfish with you.

glkdfgldkfjgldfkjg Thanks for reading!

#part alternation anon #ask #mod kait #kait reacts to the ae #kait validation hours?#shucks it was just like 25000 words of babbling for 6 days

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

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SAERAN AFTER ENDING

THE GAME IS OPEN

#KaitReactsToTheAE #Kait Reacts To The AE #SaeranAfterEnding #saeran after ending #mm #mysme #mysticmessenger #mystic messenger #saeran #saeran mm #saeran mysme #saeran mystic messenger #mystic messenger saeran #mysme saeran #mm saeran #saeran choi #choi saeran #mod kait

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

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MY PASSPORT PACKAGE HAS ARRIVED.

#mod kait #mystic messenger #mysme #saeran choi #mysticmessenger #choi saeran #mm #choi ray #ray choi #saeranafterending #saeran ae #saeran after ending #kaitreactstotheae #kait reacts to the ae

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

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Kait Reacts To The AE: Other Endings

Bad Ending 1! This is the final ending that I have to talk about. This completes my 10/10 ending reactions. Granted, I can’t subject myself to willfully agreeing with Rika, so this isn’t an ending that I can do without getting angry, so I’m just going to let you know what happens and how I feel about that here, so you have a better idea of what’s going on. Spoilers ahead.

Yeah, I knew that there was going to be an ending where you agree with Rika and turn against Saeran’s freedom and desires. It happens in his Route if you turn against him with Rika, and you wind up with Bad Ending 3.

It was the ending that I didn’t want. I’m not going to play this ending myself for a long time if I play it at all. I hated doing it on Ray Route and I just. This is just... Fuck, the other Bad Endings in this DLC have been really hard for me. I can’t even talk about that BE2 in this. It triggered me that badly. Anyways, this is all about turning against Saeran’s desires.

A lot of people don’t know what happens in BE3 because they can’t get it. You also can’t get this ending if you have too many hearts in the wrong place, no matter if you go and click the right options with Rika. That’s why it’s hard, it’s not clicking the wrong dialogue prompts, it’s too many hearts and then WHAM.

You pass the game branch anyway.

If you would like to get the ending yourself, Sensetenou made a guide!

The key here is that you need to... say nothing will work. Say that there is no hope whatsoever at all times. Even say that you shouldn’t save Saeyoung, even though that’s what he wants to do. You know that you can get a Sad Ending if you tell him that you should run away, so you need to watch when you start saying that you need to leave Saeyoung and leave. Just know when you need to click it and when you don’t.

You have to raise doubt over and over again.

Saeran’s faith in you is very strong. He’s not dependent on you but he leans to you when he needs reassurance and your tone will make or break him in this AE and I think enough of you have realized that now if you’ve hit wall after wall and realized that you really do affect the game with a single flick of your wrist. So, if you’re aiming for BEs or SEs or BREs, you’re going to need to pay close mind to what you’re doing.

Doubt.

Unease.

Don’t trust Vanderwood, at all. Avoid them like the plague and cut it short. Do not prompt Saeran that you love him. Just say you don’t want to leave him. It’s a selfish thing, and I think that’s why I can’t do this ending myself personally just because if this man says he loves me, I have to say it back.

It’s my weakness and God help me, I will not break him like Rika wants to break him. Start agreeing with Rika. Say that you need to stay, say that you need to go and keep an eye on them. Say that you’re going to slip up and reveal things. If you go out of your way, you’ll see the options where you can throw Saeyoung and Saeran under the bus.

I say them on my first playthrough and that’s how I knew there was another BE3 and I knew it was going to be twenty times worse.

Saeran... leans on us and has given his heart to us, he would die for us, he would suffer for us, and even with the idea in mind that he wants to be selfish and stay with you, he will die if he has to die and he will suffer if he has to suffer. For your smile, for your happiness? He would give up everything he’s ever had... even the freedom that he fought so hard to claim.

And, your goal in this AE is to agree with Rika and V: Keep the twins safe no matter what that means. Even if that means selling their souls, drugging them, or agreeing with the Agency and Saejoong Choi. There’s no other hope, so that’s the hole that you jump into to “save” Saeran and Saeyoung. You side with the bullshit that V and Rika have stuck themselves into.

More or less, in this ending, you team up with the Selfish Wish duo. That means that you turn against everything Saeran wants and tell him that he needs to stay with you and that even if he’s suffering, as long as he’s with you, this is what will make you happy, and he wants you to be happy. If you let him think there is no hope and without Vanderwood, there really is seemingly no hope.

So, he just kind of cracks underneath all of this pressure.

You’re not helping him.

You’re hurting him.

That’s why this is so hard.

You know how you become a Queen of Darkness at Rika’s side if the BE3 as Saeran becomes the puppet king who will be blamed for everything if anything were to go wrong? How he suffers numbly in the wayside, speaking things he does not believe just to make you happy in “paradise”? That’s what happens in this ending. Saeran suffering for your “selfish happiness” and well, to put it plain and simple—

Instead of a marionette king for paradise?

You and Rika are using him as a media puppet for Saejoong. I couldn’t believe that they go with musical actor in this ending, but yeah, that’s more or less what happens here. You’re using Saeran again. He’s suffering for you. He’s a puppet on a grand stage to convince the world of the lies that everyone is spreading. It’s obvious that the RFA will crumble and crack and break away because of both the Agency and Saejoong. It’s only a matter of time.

Oh, and don’t even worry about Saeyoung! He’s too exhausted and out of his mind these days. You don’t even have to worry about his happiness or what he’s dealing with! He can’t even feel pain anymore!

But, you’re happy... aren’t you?

You’re happy... the boys are safe?

You’re living within Rika’s selfish wish for a dollhouse where everything exists for her own pleasure and comfort in her constant denial of wrongdoing and of all of reality around you. But, is there any other hope? Was there any other hope for the brothers? Was there?

Did you even try?

Or, did you just take what you had decided was the only path forward because you never believed in him in the first place?

Is it different from Savior Saeran? My, my, yes it is. However, it’s worse.... it’s so much worse because Saeran was able to get away only to be pulled back into all of this hell that he ran away from by the person that he most loved and trusted to be by his side and see him through to the end of his life living freely and happily from torment.

You let him taste everything this world could be... and then you broke him cause you didn’t believe in him. You only and simply believed in your desires and in Rika’s promise and deal with Saejoong. And really, that’s why this is so horrible to me. You saw what Rika did in the Route, and you left with Saeran, only to turn back and agree with her knowing how Saeran feels.

And honestly, what a fucking monstrous thing to do.

That’s why I can’t subject myself to playing this ending even though I know what happens and how it plays out. So, this is what happens. You quite literally break him for Rika and work with her and Saeran bows his head, allowing it all to start over and happen to him.

And if you want the symbolism here, there’s a Black Rose on his collar and you know what that means? Hatred, Despair, and Death are the most common picks for the meaning of a Black Rose.

Some even say that it can be obsessive love, or used for sorrow. No matter how you look at it, Saeran is hollow, he is numb, he is broken, and dead inside. He’s cracked, he’s broken, he’s a withering rose that the only thing left of the man that we once saw bloom brightly in the season of our promise.

What a broken man this is... and really, you and Rika are the ones to blame in this ending.

What I hate the most is that I fucking love his hair styled like this but I hate everything else that’s happening here.

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

Text

Kait Reacts To The AE 3/?

Hi! These reactions are written out every time a Chatroom opens and it’s done over the course of the day. So, you’re watching me react in real time as it is for me. So, Spoilers AHOY. Expect Another post like this tomorrow, there is just too many chats to put it all in one post. So, hey, if you click this, you’re opening yourself to spoilers, you make the choice.

[19:11 + Visual Novel]

Okay, oh boy. Saeran made a chatroom that’s safe for us. That was really fast in a short amount of time so I’m always awed at how fast and he and Saeyoung are able to make progress and work because it’s so... quick. It almost seems like it should be impossible when they work. So, he did it. Though, now that that has been done, he admits that we need to talk about what’s coming now. He wants to find out what he can.

There’s no choice.

We have to see this through and we have to find Saeyoung. He’s not going to run in without thinking and that’s my boy. He knows what we’re doing here and how risky it could be. I knew that we were going to go with him because of the passport package, that literally implied that either we were going to have a time for a honeymoon by the end of this route, or we were going to travel with the RFA to find Saeyoung, or Saeran and the player traveling.

That was easy to surmise!

That being said, I feel like I should point how the fusion of Suit Saeran and Ray as he becomes Saeray or GE Saeran. He’s not quite both of them pushed into one place and he’s not quite one or the other, he’s own person with the past and experiences of those two. So, he has the memories of both to draw back on and see when he wants to know. They both had different memories and experiences so when they came together, those personalities met and united.

I won’t lie, it warms my heart when Saeran says that my heart warmed his and helped him. He did that for me and he doesn’t even know it.

What strikes me as odd here is the fact that everyone keeps saying over and over that we, the player, are the reason that things are the way that they are. I don’t know, it feels like Reset Theory to me or them breaking the fourth wall for some reason. I’m not controlling everything, as far as they know, so maybe they just are being modest.

I don’t know, it’s a theme that keeps persisting and bugging me as I’m playing because: I’m not the one that broke free of the control and manipulation, Saeran, you did that yourself. I may have helped you see it but you decided and did that. I appreciate them noting that I helped along the way but I’m just MC. I’m just here for the ride. Is that tone bothering anyone else?

Anyways, as I expected, Saeran asked us to come with him. I note that there is a parallel to Seven’s Bad Ending. You can tell him that you want to leave and never look back at anyone. That likely leads to a Bad Ending but I’m not going to click that. The goal here is to be a peacekeeper and a middleman who is also concise and blunt.

Although, Saeran is a little intense here. I hope he knows that I’d die for him just as fast as he’d die for me.

Anyways, the novel jumps over to Saeyoung at the last second. He is awake again. The Boss says: “You’re awake. Now, let’s wait and see if your knight will make it in time by the end of the day.”

Okay, that’s not good.

Oh, and you receive a phone call after this! It’s from Jumin’s Dad. My god, I got a call from Driver Kim after the 4PM chat, but I never thought I would speak to Jumin’s Dad. Chairman is curious... too curious. He wants to know more about what happened with V. Somehow... he knows that V used the smoke bomb and that made me confused. Did Saeran say something about V? How can he know? And, this man called me from Zen’s phone!

It didn’t have a lock.

Zen hates modern technology.

I wasn’t going to tell Chairman Han about Rika, or anything. He isn’t sure why V did what he did. I told him to ask Jumin. I know his dad worries about Jumin for real but I’m not gonna spill the beans. We can’t do that. He does sound like he does care even though we know he and Jumin are strained. So, I can’t fault him for that but one my biggest questions is: How did V know the agency? Was his dad involved?

The agency is told to us by Saeran to be one that is a big ring... the biggest in the world. So... rich people would use it. Did Jumin’s dad get involved in that or even Jihyun’s dad? is that how?

He also says that he is a bit jealous of ours and Saeran’s love.

Tells us about his forlorn love-life.

He wishes that we can find Saeyoung, at least. Oh, and remember the Agency saying that they were going to slander the RFA and C&R? Yeah, this is already in motion.

AND THAT’S NOT ALL. SAEYOUNG CHOI. NO. I know you don’t want us to come because it’s a trap but... I’m so worried about you honey. I’m so worried about you right now. I know he can survive hell. He didn’t sleep, eat, or drink for three days on the HBC mission. But... this isn’t good. He can access the safe chat, too. It’s just Saeran, myself, and him. But... what about the agency?

[20:44]

While I do love being able to see young Saeran... I don’t like the context of why Rika is doing this. So, Saeran comes into the chatroom. We talk about his time at the cathedral. He makes it clear that... he feels complicated about his mother, yes, she was a monster to him, but that was his only family at the time. He didn’t have Saeyoung. He didn’t want to lose that last connection. He said that every person at the church was nice to him.

But, he never saw Rika or Jihyun as a mother or father. Just people looking out for him. In all honesty, I really never wanted Saeran to have to talk to Rika ever again. I hated that he was going to have to go through this again because that last talk with her on day 10 was perfect. He spoke his peace and said she would never have power over him again.

Rika’s point here... I’m not sure. She feels like they were a family, like they were close and happy. She clearly wants to rip the rug from under Saeran and bring him down again. She tries to bring up his mother, bring up family, try to guilt him into this. Guilt him into leaving alone. I don’t like it. Rika wants to make herself feel better about what happened.

She doesn’t even... It’s all about how she phrases this. It’s all about, “What about me? What about ME? What am I supposed to do to be a good parent?” Ma’am, you lost that right. You don’t get to ask that to him. You don’t get to be his mother or claim him. He’s not an object. He’s not toy. He’s a person with feelings and he won’t be spun by you.

I appreciate how Saeran can just... ignore her. I respect that. I trust that. I am so proud of him for ignoring and not giving into her whims. That takes a lot of real strength with real abusers. It’s not easy. I’m proud of that. Now here’s where the game tries to smack the fuck out of me and I don’t know what to think about how they are phrasing it.

Okay, so, now she’s claiming that she’s split into fragments as well. I’m not going to comment on her mental health here. Your actions are not excused no matter what you may suffer from. Own up to what you do, learn, grow, change, but do not expect people to forgive you or make up with you. You are owed nothing at all when you do bad things. And, even with DID, the actions as the system as a whole come together. One action puts everyone at risk. So, even if she suffers from a form of DID/OSDD, they better not being try to say that she’s excused because “Devil Did It.”

That’s not how this works.

Suit Saeran admitted he fucked up. He took responsibility. Ray admits he made a lot of mistakes. He owns up to it. Everyone in the system takes responsibility for what happens. That’s just how it works. So, I don’t know what Rika is trying to do but... trying to make Saeran think they’re the same isn’t right. It’s just back to gaslighting.

Trying to trick him.

Even if I’m utterly wrong about Rika, this isn’t how you behave. In Rika Behind Story, they try to say Mika is at fault too, but Mika only helped Rika go through with it, and when Mika died, Rika kept doing it. She could have stopped and she didn’t. She made the drugs. Stole money to make her cult. ETC. Okay, she is in the wrong. She knows it. She admitted it. So, uh, Rika just stop talking you are giving me a headache. No matter how you spin it, ma’am, you’re wrong.

Anyways, we jump to the Visual Novel and now Saeran and myself are on the run here. We left the hospital and headed out. We’re going to the apartment. He said that V owned it. You can even say that you [used to live in this area]. This uh, Reset Theory fear I had earlier is starting to really scare me a lot. I don’t know if it’s a jest or...

I don’t know.

The agency has made their attack. Saeyoung made a deal with Chairman Han in the background. You can call him and talk to him and Driver Kim after this chat, so do that if you can. Chairman Han tells us that Saeyoung cared for the RFA and wanted to help support Jumin after he sold the rights to C&R for his drinks. He gets nothing. It was meant for children in need. But, the Agency is using the offers sent to C&R and Jaehee to blow things up.

Saeran knows that this is going to be bad.

We both know it’s about to get really bad. It’s going to be hard to fight this sort of thing. Why are so many of these options self-aware? Is this just me? Am I the only one with this issue?

Hm. Okay, so, Driver Kim gets to talk to us about Jumin. That man loves and cares for him and has been looking over him since he was a kid. He can’t believe V did what he did. He just can’t. He said V was cold before... he did photography, which makes a lot of sense to me. My God, I... it’s just a lot to take in. Don’t worry, Driver Kim is looking after Jumin and Jaehee.

I’m still iffy about Chairman Han. He has always... not been the best dad but I know in his own way he loves his son. Even if I don’t agree with the way that he shows his love.

THOUGHT I WAS DONE BUT OUT GOING CALL

I GET TO FEED HIM WHILE WE’RE DRIVING AND TORMENT HIM? IS THIS HEAVEN?

No but really... my self-aware paranoia...

[21:56]

So, this chat is a Rika and V chat. V sends us the passcode for the apartment to use. It seems strange enough... the title of the chat says that it’s supposed to be normal chit-chat, but it’s not. We know that. It’s just a deceptive factor used to go and trick you into thinking that things will be okay. Here’s the thing, this gives us a lot more insight into what’s happening with V and Rika. I knew what was going on to an extent.

This only further confirms that Rika is far too gone. It’s all about Rika, and what Rika feels and nothing else. There’s a few hints and teased at the Rika Behind Story and what she did with Mika in the apartment. V gave her the building, the entire thing. He owns the whole thing. That’s why... ah, there is a bomb. Nobody will die because it’s just an empty building.

Now, I can’t even imagine being the MC in the Casual/Deep Routes because you are literally alone in a high floor of an abandoned apartment building but you don’t know that. Oh, my God. She talks about how she make Mint Eye there and my God, the banter between Rika and V here...

God, there’s so much pettiness?

At the end of the day, we know that Jihyun feels himself a martyr. He wants to burn down with the building. He’s prepared to do it. He is prepared to suffer and weep and that is it. He’s taken that. He’s accepted Rika’s “devil” only because he knows nobody else can suffer if he takes her away. I don’t like that, and he does know that he’s wrong here.

But, we know... I guess, that he still cares.

Even if he’s willing to play the part of something that left them all behind and turned against them to suffer forever.

He says that Jumin and C&R will be doomed. It’s not good. They’re making more and more threats. They aren’t the ones that are doing this but they say that they are involved with the ones that did it. But, they are working with them by having that deal and honestly, that’s not okay. They both are ignoring it for their own reasons. I still think that Rika wants to have the boys killed for her own safety and to get away. I don’t know if that’s what will happen but she keeps saying it has to be Saeran alone, and Saeyoung alone.

I don’t trust that.

And, I won’t.

Either way, there’s a really short Visual Novel. We arrive there and it’s... quiet, and it’s not a good sign. I never thought that we’d be here again, but we are and I don’t know what to think. So, we’re going to try in the morning so... that’s a thought to be had.

FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST THE CALL AFTER THIS KILLED ME I CANNOT EVEN ENGLISH. HIGHLIGHTS CAUSE I CAN’T TALK RIGHT NOW ANYMORE.

[23:05]

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

Text

I’m literally dead right now. My soul has left my body. Please, do not hesitate to call everyone after Day 1 [4:05PM]. It’s worth it.

#mod kait #mm #mysme #mysticmessenger #mystic messenger #saeran choi #choi saeran #spoilers #spoiler #KaitReactsToTheAE #Kait Reacts To The AE #SaeranAfterEnding #saeran after ending

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

Text

If you’re wondering how I’m doing, just know my soul left my body when I heard the Ringtones for Saeran’s After Ending. You know which one I’m talking about if you have it unlocked.

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

Text

Kait Reacts To The AE: Other Endings

NORMAL ENDING! I’ll likely be doing this for the Bad Endings as I collect them but that make take a few days because I’m not sure where all of them are and I have to play the Route over and over. So, here’s my reaction to the Normal End as well as what happens. Spoilers ahead. If you click it, it’s your choice.

Alright, so to clarify this ending is triggered when you select the option [Don’t go Save Saeran.] I wondered what that meant since I used all my Saves on the Day 4 Branches. That’s how I got all of the Bad Endings on that day today, by the way. Your save spots always come in handy if you know where the branch is that may trigger the Bad Ending. I wish I bought more save spots, though, because I have a feeling where the other Bad Endings are.

I have to start from the beginning to get them. I should have 3 more by tomorrow if I do it right. Anyways, this ending starts out when you finish having the talk to Rika. To set the scene, it’s when you start looking Saeran with the group, Rika, V, Driver Kim, and yourself. You know that it’s dangerous but you have to go and find him now. You get a sinking feeling and speed up to the lake.

Saejoong is in the process of taking Saeran, but when you try to run Driver Kim holds you back from running. You plead with Rika and V to save him because he is your life, your love. If you can’t do it, someone has to do it. That being said, your pleas do not fall on silence. Rika sees the desperation in you and she is willing to help. She may be... complicated, but at this point, she’s decided that enough is enough and she can’t run away anymore. She tells V to get in touch with the unit. You know, the ones hunting for her, and for the Prime Minister in a way, as well as the RFA.

V hesitates because... they sold their souls to avoid prison time. But, he’s at that point where he can’t tell Rika no. Saeran is literally about to be taken away and harmed. As cruel as they have become, they don’t want the boys to die. I will give the two of them that much. They don’t want them to die. Rika is the one that says, call them. V does it. She tells you to stay close to her now.

The two of you approach the scene with Saejoong. You rush to Saeran’s side to be with him but he’s unconscious by the time you get to him. Unlike the Good Ending where you find him and he’s somehow hanging onto himself until the very end here. Saejoong is surprised to see her now but he scolds her for what she’s done. He says that they’re kids, she should have been able to stop them from doing anything. She says that the deal is off.

Saejoong begins to tell her that they should make a new one instead. He thinks that he can sway things to his favor, but Rika doesn’t want to hear his bullshit at this time. Rika, and V, as messed up as the two of them are, at the end of the day here, both realize that they can’t run away anymore. It’s time to grow up, and face the music for everything that they’ve done.

Every single crime that is on the horizon.

They must pay the price.

Your actions have consequences, and at last, Rika is admitting that she’s been horrible and cruel and toxic. She isn’t going to try to fix anything. She doesn’t expect forgiveness, and she knows that the road ahead of her is going to be a dark place for the rest of her days, but she’s okay with that because Saeran has shown her something that she never thought she’d ever get.

Saeran is a saint.

I will never forgive Rika for what she did and I can’t forgive V for what he did in this AE. I cannot. Saeran is the one that decided that he wanted to go to the end by using forgiveness and I respect that. It helped him and it was the straw that broke the camel’s back with Rika, alongside us giving her a chance. Giving one a chance doesn’t mean you forgive them.

I don’t trust them, but I gave them both a chance because I know they don’t want Saeran to die here. If they turned against me, it would only further prove my own thoughts about them. So, hey, in a lifetime of doing things wrong, you did one thing right but it will ever excuse what you did. I’m glad to see that you know this and understand that.

That’s some maturity never shown from Rika. Can’t say how much of that is even her being honest but at least she’s done one thing right.

Saejoong basically tells her off for being blinded this. Rika calls him out at every single turn and doesn’t give him leeway. She lets him know that in his heart, he is very greedy and wrong. She says that he will never know what love feels like because he never let that in. He is the monster of his own creation and if he is a monster and he hates himself, and he feels alone, it’s his fault. He did this all to himself and that’s his only person to blame.

She knows because she did the same thing. She says that solitude and suffering will his cruelest master and if he doesn’t stop now, it will damn him. She knows that no matter how far he climbs the ladder to the top, nothing will ever take away that empty feeling in his chest. He will never know what it feels like to be alive or to feel love in his heart. She says that she is the same way. She says she’s been screaming for so long that she’s perfect.

That she’s not wrong.

That she’s doing the right thing.

But, none of that was right. It was never right and she didn’t know how to even admit to that until now. She says that love is the only thing in life that is worth the trouble and is the purpose of our lives. She says that Saeran protected his love with his life and it kept him from suffering. She says that Saejoong is blind and ignorant, and he will never understand as he continues to argue with her about it.

She says it’s a miracle that Saeyoung and Saeran were born, filled with love and happiness for each other and the rest of the world. She says that is their power and that will be their guiding force in life. Saeran was wiling to forgive her even when he didn’t have to do it. She says that Saeran... and Saeyoung, they are innocent and they just want to love, and to be loved. Nothing more, and nothing less than that.

Rika: The only dirty thing here? It’s you, and it’s me. We’re the ones that tried to manipulate them and break them. I’m going to tell the world what I did. I’ll give up all of my life for their protection from people like me and from people like you. So, you take your hands off of Saeran and don’t you ever touch him again!

Saejoong is panicking now.

V says it’s over. They’re coming for him.

He panics and demands someone kill all of us. When they don’t listen, he goes to do it for himself. We have to leave now for our own safety but Rika tells us that she is thankful for meeting us and that we gave her a chance, she says that we should live a happy life. She admits everything that she did was wrong and that she wishes Saeran and us the best.

And it fades to black.

I don’t really like Rika and I never have. But, she had the gall to admit that she was wrong and she went down for it. Good. She can work on herself while she is in prison. I don’t wish poor health on anyone so it’s a good thing that she was very willing to say that. She can only grow for herself when she admits that she is wrong. So, in a lifetime of wrong, you did one right thing.

It will bring you nothing but she didn’t do it for selfish reasons.

She did because it was the right thing to do.

She expects nothing in return and she will get nothing in return.

You can ask Rika and V what they’ll do next but they both say: We choose to do this. We must pay for it. But, no matter what happens, at least we know who we are now.

[3 Months Later]

You are treated to a chatroom. Jumin lost the race in this ending. He’s back at C&R but everyone loves him. He’s likely to be the CEO in his future and that’s a good thing. Jaehee’s with him. Nobody knows what the RFA did because the plan was given out anonymously. The RFA isn’t... well, the public knows that they aren’t bad now but still... it’s not a great note. That’s why this is a Normal Ending and not a Good Ending.

Zen is going to have to struggle to fix his career and get back. Yoosung is going back to school and he’s going to have a hard time. In this ending, it’s not the best outcome for everyone but it’s.. okay. It’s not the worst but it’s not the best thing for everyone. Saeyoung had to work for months to beat the Agency but it worked out. This ending gives more clarity to what happened with Saejoong in the Good Ending.

Saejoong runs but he’s caught in this ending. He’s going to school forever. Rika isn’t going to be free if at all. It’s going to take decades. Jihyun, on the other hand here, he will be away for a while but not forever. They’re all facing what they should for what they did but again, the RFA is not talking about them for very long. So, I know that they’re not letting them back in. Not V, and Rika, and honestly, that’s how it should be.

I wouldn’t let them back in, either.

But, it’s okay to wish their mental health the best in the end, if anything. We’re still with Saeran and Saeyoung in this ending, though. We’re all together but it doesn’t feel as great as it did in the Good Ending. As it turns out, in this ending, we all moved. We’ve got a quaint little life in a house somewhere that has a big and nice greenhouse for Saeran. He seems to be happy with everything here and he does look healthier.

It’s a bit bittersweet because... he never got to confront his father and he never allowed himself to get that last sense of closure in his life. It’s not very perfect but again, this is a Normal Ending. It’s not supposed to be perfect. It has to feel like there’s something missing and having already played the Good Ending, it’s definitely something missing here.

Either way, I’m happy to see Saeran so happy in a garden of his own. He says that he has so much work to do and things to tend. I tell him to not stress himself because I’ll help out whenever he wants. He says that it’s okay, he feels that he is much stronger than before. He feels that he’s okay and I can see it in his eyes as he speaks. He does look better.

He says that he’s happy.

He wants an ordinary life with me. Oh, and he’s back to talking to the flowers about how much that he loves me. I sputtered when he did that because he is the type of person to whisper his secrets when he’s alone in the garden because it’s so... It’s so Saeran. He says that he’s happy that I agreed with him when he suggested that he find a nice little house.

He says that he feels grateful for what he has. That he’s blessed. Though, he does have a tiny suggestion. I prod if it’s something important, something that he’s been wanting to ask for a while. And, then he hits me with that good old question that makes you heart flutter and a stupid laugh come to your lips and I’m almost punching myself for not clicking: Aw, I should have asked you first!

I said, I think you’re missing something, though. You know, for our lives to be perfect... and he says that he wants to make a family, and we all know what is to come before you say that you want a family.

HE PROPOSES.

OH, GOD. My heart. My heart is weakened right now. We know that this is one of those things that is going to happen in the Good Ending at some point, but I like that we actually go and start traveling with Saeyoung and Saeran first instead of tying ourselves down to anything.

I think it’s a lot more fun to explore the world and just...

Be free.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to the day where he does propose to the MC, but I preferred how things were handled in the Good Ending as to the Normal, but that’s to be expected in my case simply because I liked how we were able to help Saeran see things through to the very end of his emotional journey.

The CGs for this are... the bomb, though. I love it.

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

Text

Kait Reacts To The AE 6/?

Hi! These reactions are written out every time a Chatroom opens and it’s done over the course of the day. So, you’re watching me react in real time as it is for me. So, Spoilers AHOY. Expect Another post like this later today, there is just too many chats to put it all in one post. So, hey, if you click this, you’re opening yourself to spoilers, you make the choice.

[18:00]

Hey, so this is a heavy chat. A lot happens and I have a lot of feelings in my heart and most of them are not kind. I’m usually the type of person that wants to see good in people but I see no good in Rika Kim and I never will. I cannot let myself trust V anymore, either. Not after his reaction in this shared chatroom with him and Rika. I just can’t. I can’t deal with him or her anymore because the two of them are so—

I’ll get into it.

You jump into the chat and ask Rika if she feels guilty for what she did. She says, “I didn’t do anything. It was the Prime Minister. He should have known better than to bite the dog that is bigger than he. All of you, all of you should know better than to do this.” She blames them for what’s happening, and she acts like she has done nothing wrong. She allowed this to happen by letting the agency and the Prime Minister know that she’d do as they wanted as long as she got to keep her freedom.

This chatroom has... Rika telling you that she’s done denying herself, she is wicked, she is vindictive, she is her devil and she just doesn’t care about anything but herself. It’s all about Rika, it’s all about what Rika wants, and what Rika wants, Rika is going to get no matter how dirty her hands have to become in the process. She even jests that it’s selfish, like it’s some kind of a game. This isn’t a game.

But, I wanna see what she’s thinking so I prod deeper.

She says that Saeran should give up hope. That there’s nothing he can do and that he’s weak against Saejoong and the hackers. But, I tell him not to give up hope if he’s looking at the chatroom. I know he has to be. He’s at C&R so that has to be case. Rika says that they’re not good people, but neither is she, so that’s why they get along. They work together even if they don’t see the same deal and keep their secrets.

I don’t like that.

She keeps saying to the RFA to forget the twins.

To forget everything.

Live on.

Live on while Rika gets her Selfish Wish [the name of the chat.]

And let me tell you when I screamed, I screamed when this happened because this is what I’ve been trying to tell people for years about the problem with being able to forgive or judge.

People who hurt you can apologize, but you don’t owe them shit for it. You don’t owe them anything. Ever. You can hate them forever if that is what you want. You don’t have to accept an apology. Nor do you have to see them ever again. It’s your choice to forgive, and it’s your choice to not forgive someone and thank fucking Christ the game let me say this to Rika Kim’s fucking face.

You really get to call her out in this chatroom, too. I’m floored at this because it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. You don’t get to move on and act like you didn’t make a fucking cult and harm hundreds of people. You don’t get to move on and act like nothing happened when you abused, tortured, and gaslit Saeran Choi for so many years. No. You don’t. You don’t get to be selfish. You don’t get that. You don’t have that right.

She makes a final plea to Saeran: To Give into her wish.

I tell him not to lose hope.

V comes into this chatroom and this is the point where I reach my fucking end of confusion about him and I give up on him. I’m disappointed in you, Jihyun Kim and I do not think I ever will have that restored. I am angry with you and I am so sad that you were on the brink of getting back and you went back, and now you have resigned yourself to this and let others hurt. I thought that when you went to Rika it was to make her leave the cult and never return, taking all the pain for yourself.

But, no. You sold out everything and everyone for Rika and unless something is going to change, and I highly doubt that, I cannot trust you ever again, Jihyun. I hate that you will suffer but your suffering has caused the suffering of our loved ones, and I thought you would never hurt them, but you did. This hurts me a lot and that’s why I have so much to say.

That being said, V says that when Saeran comes: You can go. You will be free. We won’t hurt you.

Rika: You don’t have a choice. This is their future.

Rika leaves.

This is the moment where I give up on V.

That’s not what you were supposed to say. You say, “I will be fine.” I’m not asking about you, Jihyun. I’m asking about if you’re okay with what is going on right now and if you’re okay that you’re destroying everything as you burn like Icarus in Rika’s sun. I’m not worried or concerned with you. You’ve betrayed my faith in you.

I want you to be happy but... as it remains right now, I cannot trust you or be close to you ever again. I thought I knew you. But, apparently, I don’t.

[19:23]

Alright. I’m rattled to my core and I’m not better than I was when I last checked in with you. In fact, this one actually made me cry. I’m still a bit... choked up on what I just saw and. There’s a lot to talk about. So, I guess I’ll just start with the chatroom. It’s with Zen and Jumin. Zen tries to ask what’s up but we really can not talk about it... you know, cause Rika and the others can see it but he’s doing okay as he can. Although, the doctors knocked him out without his consent with the drug?

Is it about his healing speed? That’s not okay. Don’t do shit without someone’s consent. Jumin’s not okay. I can say that certainly. There’s a phone with him right after all of this and he just... he’s tired. He doesn’t want to talk. He masks his pain and says what he needs to say and then he leaves before you can ask him if he’s okay. I’m concerned for him. He wants to take all of this blame and still help us.

Jumin Han is a fucking saint.

I love him. Nobody ever talk shit about this man. I swear to God, he’s always going above and beyond for everyone in this fucking group. He doesn’t even have to do this and he does it. He has a big heart. The media is getting worse, they’ve started to talk about Zen in a bad light... Yoosung... it’s not good, it’s just a fucking mess. He doesn’t even know if he can get on the stage ever again or if Yoosung can... go to classes.

We were heroes, he said, and now... I don’t know.

Jumin just leaves the chatroom after he updates us. He’s... I’m worried, you know? Zen promises that he’s looking out for us and he wants to be there, and he sends a selfie and that almost boosted my mood. Now, we jump into the end of the chat. We get a ping from Seven.

We close the phone and open the visual novel. Saeyoung is awake, but he tells us to be quiet. Rika literally threatens us if we try anything and says that she will not hesitate if we ruin her selfish wish. Once she’s said her peace and made her threat known, she leaves.

And we’re alone with Saeyoung. I theorized that we would get a moment with Saeyoung alone in my big analysis post but I never thought that this would be the way that it would happen. He says what I thought he would want to say to us and this is when I started to actively tremble in the game. I can hear it in his voice, and he’s hurting. He’s hurting so fucking much and I never thought this would be the way that I would get to talk to Saeyoung about Saeyoung and what we’ve been doing.

I didn’t even get to tell him about Saeran or how he’s been doing or what’s going on. No. Rika and V robbed of this. Saeyoung has his phone, and that’s when he drops a big bombshell on me about Vanderwood that I didn’t even consider as I was playing earlier because I was so fucking torn open about what was had just happened to me that I wasn’t thinking.

Vanderwood ran from the agency. They planted a shitload of intel and info on Saeyoung’s voice so he could use it against the agency. It’s all on his phone and all he has to do is use it to ensure that they go down and we can escape. He’s thinking that he will suffer behind here. He refuses to let Saeran suffer, his words are, “At least Saeran must have nothing stopping him from doing whatever he wants and finding himself whenever he wants.’

Saeyoung Choi is a selfless man.

He wants to stay with Saeran and make sure he’s happy. The goal is to attack the agency, not Saejoong, they are the ones keeping us locked up and trapped like this. He paid them money for it. He will continue to pay them to get power and what he wants while the boys suffer. He refuses to let that happen. I don’t want to leave him, but he’s not giving me much of a choice here.

He won’t let me do that.

I think that he’s going to focus on this but then, this is the moment where I’ve utterly lost faith in Jihyun Kim as a man. I will not forgive him. I cannot. I don’t care what happens ahead, all of his actions right now are not something that I can forgive. Nobody will. He knows he’s wrong. He knows this is wrong but he acts like this is all he can do. He says to give up. He says that he has to take the phone because Saeyoung, Rika, and Saeran will suffer if Saeyoung fights back and this is it.

Just accept Hell.

This is the only way.

V: There is nothing you can do. I tried to help you, I really did. But, there’s a reason why the term impossible exists.

I say what I’ve been saying to myself:

This is where I started fucking sobbing and I haven’t stopped crying since this goddamn Visual Novel. Saeyoung gets on his fucking hands and knees and begs for his brother to be safe and V just spits in his face. Saeyoung pleads, “Not Saeran, not Saeran! I’ll do anything. I’ll do anything they ask and I will work harder then the two of us would together tenfold. Please, I swear I will not run away or anything! You know I wouldn’t!”

He begs and pleads until the last second and V ignores it. This isn’t for the best, V, you know it, and you need to stop. I cannot forgive you for what you’ve done for Rika. You’re aware that you’re in the wrong and you aren’t going to help out here, you’ve chosen and you’ve chosen to ignore us and our pleas for help, we could win if you and Rika hadn’t turned against us. If you had been willing to give us help, then this wouldn’t be fucking happen.

You know that?

You added to the problem by offering Saeran and Saeyoung’s lives to keep Rika and her selfish wish happy. Saeran and Saeyoung will never forgive you and I can’t say I ever will now even if something changes by day 4.

[21:02]

Welcome back. I’m tired of this.

V had made his point of view known. I’ve said it before and I’ve said it again, he will let all of us burn so Rika can have what she wants and so the boys are alive and it doesn’t matter if it’s what we want or not. He doesn’t care anymore. He’s aware that he’s in the wrong here. He knows that. He just... ignores it, and he is ignoring reality for the sake of a selfish wish.

He even says that Saeyoung won’t stop. They’re going to have to keep drugging him over and over, is what is implied. Even if Saeran can... “placate” his nerves by being there. I don’t like that tone and I’m... this has been a really hard day for me and V. I wanted him to be... not. this. But, this is what’s life and I can’t ignore it because he’s pissed me off.

He’s not playing a long-con.

He’s given that up. I’ve said what I have to say. I’m done with you, V. I’m just... I’m so done with you right now that I can’t even fucking deal with you. Stop doing this for the love of Christ.

Anyways, the Visual Novel opens up and— They know about phone now and they know that Saeyoung had information. They’re going to change the server and that opens them to attack. This is the time for Saeran to strike and he has to do it now. He said that he may not be able to contact us. He’s going to be working and I trust him. I have faith in him so I’m going to wait and listen even if I’m grinding my teeth to dust as I watch Saeyoung suffer.

Oh. Jumin had the doctors do that because we all know that Zen heals without a lot of... issue. They tested him to nullify the drugs. Okay, okay, okay, Jumin has a fucking go-plan. I don’t know what the hell is about to come but I know that we are in for a long fucking night, oh my God.

I called V after this.

You tell him that he's wrong for what he did. He says, yes, but what did you expect? Saeyoung is crafty. He can't risk Rika's dream, and he can't risk the life that they're trying to build with this cage around Saeran and Saeyoung. You can say that Saeyoung thought of him well, and he ignores that and says he's doing what must be done because nothing can be changed. This is how it will be. He literally told me not to interfere or he would... do something.

He says "Once RIKA changes, it won't be so bad." He says "Please, wait?" I disagree. I will never agree. He says that there's no hope once more. He says that he hopes we never change and we stay strong in our heart.

He says that.. you WOULD HAVE had good influence on Saeran. That Rika and himself envy what I have, my kindness. They don't have that, but they have something else. I ask him if he's going to fess up, change, and admit he's wrong. He says he won't change until Rika does. He said, don't do anything. Please. Or else. It's implied.

I basically hung up and said "I don't really have a choice, you kidnapped me."

[23:13]

So, we’re treated to a very short chatroom here. No surprise, really. Zen comes and lets us know that he feels that hope is lost. He thinks there’s not point and that we have to give up if we want to achieve anything anymore. He hates it and it’s horrible, but he and Jumin spoke and it just concluded that they shouldn’t be using the messenger and that we should avoid it. He promises that when we do return, however that is, he’ll be waiting there for us to reassure us. I needed that, honestly, my first route love, thank you for looking out for me.

It’s really an end note.

It feels like we’re going to hit a wall and THEN—

BANG, BOOM, BAM.

Vanderwood didn’t actually leave! The bug they fucking planted? A decoy! A lie! A falsehood! They were working with Saeran and Jumin the entire time but they couldn’t tell me. Vanderwood, I love you, oh my God. I knew you weren’t going to stick your neck out but you really do love Saeyoung, even if a lot of comes from the idea that you’ll be given safety from the agency after this comes out and things are better. I’m so happy I could weep.

Thank God.

Zen made me think I was going to hit a fucking bad ending.

Oh... and Saeran calls after, and he made a secure call channel, but they are fucking jamming all the calls and he can’t hold it for very long so we have to be talking really fast. I’m weeping because it’s starting to glitch out and he just tells me that he loves me and I tell him I love him and—

I love him but I’m scared. I’m scared that something bad might happen on the 3rd day that will keep us apart or hurt him or I’ll hit a bad ending and he’ll suffer for me. I don’t want that. I want us to be happy. He’s working so hard right now and I just... I have to have faith in him, and the RFA. I always do. So, I’m holding out for a hero.

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