#Kate Huntington’s 1K celebration

[holylulusworld]

I still cry

Summary: A break-up sometimes leads to worse things than heartbreak.

Pairing: former Dean x Reader; Dean x Lisa

Characters: Bobby Singer, OFC Judith, Sam Winchester

Warnings: angst, heartbreak, a break-up, abandonment, low self-esteem, tears, mentions of demons, a little Lisa hate (sorry), no happy ending, sorry, not sorry

A/N: Written for @katehuntington​​​‘s 1K Celebration (Congratulations!). My song was ‘I still cry’ by Ilse DeLange. I used the song for inspiration and some of the lyrics (in Italics). The song originally is for a passed loves-one, but I decided to use it to describe the heartbreak and pain the reader feels after she got left behind.

A/N2: For my story, Sam came back with an intact soul.

Three months after he left, … 

“How was your weekend, Y/N?” your colleague asks, watching you fold another paper flower for the upcoming school festival. 

You like to keep your hands busy to stop thinking about the love you lost. All the flowers you tried to grow in the backyard died. It’s like no one wants to stay with or stay alive around you.

“Fine,” you reply, eyes dropping to your phone once again. Since he left the night Sam jumped into the pit you always hoped Dean will answer one of your calls or at least send you a message, explaining why you weren’t enough. “I tried to renovate my bedroom.”

“That’s nice,” you hate the pity in your much younger colleague’s eyes. It’s the same look people give you any time their eyes land on you – or at least you think they can see the heartbreak you went through over the last months. “If you need help, just tell us so, Y/N. You are new to the team, but we like you.”

“I will think about it, Judith. Thank you,” how you hate that you sound like a broken record. 

I’m fine. No, I don’t need your help. Please don’t ask about Dean. Hunting is over for me. Just don’t ask…

I still cry sometimes when I remember you

I still cry sometimes when I hear your name

I said goodbye and I know you're alright now

But when the leaves start falling down I still cry

Six months after he left, … 

“Kiddo, I’ve missed you,” Bobby chuckles, standing in front of your door. “Did you think you can just push me away and an old geezer like me gives up that easily?”

You huff but for a moment, you smile. “I’ve missed you too, Bobby,” you throw yourself into your friends’ arms. Ashamed you didn’t call him back you sniff silently. “I’m sorry, I just needed some time to figure things out.”

“So, you’re out of business?” watching you shake your head Bobby sighs deeply. He wishes you would’ve stayed out of the hunting business and find happiness and a nice man staying by your side. “I thought you wanted out.”

“I was – for a while at least,” choking out the words you grasp Bobby’s hand to lead him into your house. “Problem is that the monsters and demons didn’t get the memo. One day I prepare a school festival and the next I find myself surrounded by demons. I had no choice but to leave.”

“I’m sorry, kiddo,” Bobby takes the beer you offer, grumbling as he would’ve like to see you fall in love and become a mother one day. “Did he call?”

“Please don’t ask,” you plea, not meeting Bobby’s gaze. You’re too ashamed you still hope Dean will return to you. Even though, you know better. 

“Y/N,” Bobby sighs deeply, eyes sadden at the mere sight of you. Thinner than usual, eyes missing the light you sit in front of your godfather. “I shouldn’t have asked, kiddo.”

“I don’t want to sound pathetic but talking about him makes things worse. I had hoped he would explain why,” sitting on the worn-out couch in your living room you slump into yourself. “I guess that I never was enough. You know, she’s a pretty thing, has a house, a son, and a normal life to offer. And I heard yoga-instructors are bendable.”

“Did you see her – them?” you nod, eyes not meeting Bobby’s. “Oh, Y/N,” my friend, the father I never had sniffs. “Why didn’t you tell him not to go? I know you wanted Dean to have a normal life but hurting yourself shouldn’t be part of the deal.”

“I knew only one of us will make it out alive, Bobby,” you give your friend a sad smile, shrugging when he gets up to look out of the window. “I wanted Dean to be happy. If he’s happy with someone else, I’m happy for him.”

“Your selflessness borders on stupidity!” Bobby grunts. “That boy should be here, with you Y/N. Lisa seems to be a nice girl, but she’s not you.”

“EXACTLY, Bobby,” jumping up you try to explain to Bobby why you knew Dean would leave you sooner or later. “I knew Dean will leave me, Bobby. I wanted to keep a tiny piece of dignity. In the end, he would’ve kept his promise to Sam and get out of this life, but not with me by his side.”

“How’d you know, kiddo? Maybe Dean would’ve stayed by your side and you could be happy,” your friend cries. “Jesus, I can’t believe you broke your own heart.”

“I did it to protect myself, Bobby. I heard Dean call her, okay,” sniffing you join Bobby to look out of the window. “The night after Sam jumped into the pit, Dean called Lisa asking if he can come around.”

“OH,” eyes squinting toward the old car in your ramp Bobby tries to figure out how to help you. “What happened that night? Dean refused to answer my calls so…”

“It’s a blur, Bobby,” you close your eyes, try to recall the night Dean left but all you remember are the tears running down your face when you ran after his car. The rain washing your tears away – but not the pain.

It's just that I recall September

It's just that I still hear your song

It's just I can't seem to remember

Forever more those days are gone

“Dean didn’t fight for me, that’s what happened. I told him that I heard every word and he just stood there, his keys in his hand. I saw a hint of guilt in his eyes, but this wasn’t enough to stay with me,” blinking the tears away you clutch your hand to your chest. “I told Dean to go and live the life Sam wanted him to live.”

“And he did? Just like that?” nodding you turn your back toward the window, closing your eyes for a moment. “Not even a call for almost six months?”

“No call. No message. No number he sent me in case of emergency,” it’s a matter-of-fact Dean cut you out of his life. “You know, sometimes it feels normal that he’s not with me anymore and other days, I only need to remember his name and break down, crying like a stupid baby.”

“Heartbreak is never easy, kiddo.”

“Never said so, Bobby. Honestly, it feels worse than heartbreak. I know he’s out there, living his best life but to me, it feels like he died. I guess, my heart tries to cope with the loss this way. It tells me he’s gone, even though, Dean is with her.”

“Do you like to live here?” Bobby clears his throat, wrapping one arm around your shoulders. “You can always come with me, leave this shitty town behind and be my eyes and ears. Y/N, I don’t want you to be gone one day too. I’m too old to lose my kids.”

“I could come with you,” being alone with a broken heart and your self-doubts won’t do any good. “I don’t have much to pack.”

“I got a nice guest room, kiddo. If Dean doesn’t care about you, I do,” the bitterness behind Bobby’s words brings you to tears. “I thought I know the boy better…”

I still cry sometimes when I remember you

I still cry sometimes when I hear your name

I said goodbye and I know you're alright now

But when the leaves start falling down I still cry

Almost six months later, …

It’s half a year later that Sam, Dean, and Lisa step into Bobby’s house, bringing fresh tears and more heartbreak to you.

“Sammy,” the only person you greet is Sam, your best friend who magically got resurrected. “I didn’t want to believe the rumors.”

“Same,” arms wrapped tightly around you Sam watches his brother look at you. Dean tried to make you talk to him for half a day, but you just walked away, refusing to even face the man breaking your heart so easily. “I thought he would stay with you.”

“No, Sammy. Why would a man stay with someone like me if he can have yoga barbie?” you whisper, not wanting Lisa to hear. “He deserves someone who got no clue where he’s coming from and all the shit happening in his life.”

“Still-“ Bobby is the one breaking the awkward moment.

“We got a job to do, kiddo. If you want to, you can sit this one out,” nodding you look up at Sam, giving him a sad smile. 

“I will help Rufus meanwhile. You can call me when he’s gone back to his apple pie life, Bobby,” patting Sam’s chest you give your friend a soft smile. “And you’ll have a lot to explain, Mr. Winchester. I hope you will stick around so we can catch up with our shitty lives.”

You are gone before Dean gets the chance to say a word to you. He walks out of Bobby’s house to watch you drive away.

His eyes fill with tears and even when your car is long gone, leaving a cloud of dust behind, he stands outside, wondering how his life would’ve been with you by his side…

I still cry sometimes when I remember you

I still cry sometimes when I hear your name

I said goodbye and I know you're alright now

But when the leaves start falling down I still cry

But when the leaves start falling down I still cry

>> Part 2

Tags in reblog.

#I still cry #Kate Huntington’s 1K celebration #dean winchester #dean winchester fanfic #angst #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester SPN #dean winchester x reader #dean x lisa #former dean x reader #sadness

[talesmaniac89]

Nicotine

Pairing: Dean x Reader (Reader is not actually present in the story, just mentioned)

Summary: Dean has his vices, but they all pale in comparison to how he craves you. Yet he pushed you away, leaving him gasping for air.

Word Count: 1966

Triggers: Talks about addiction, unhealthy coping mechanisms, romanticizing unhealthy behaviours (vices/addictions), alcohol, nicotine, heartbreak, angst, self-medicating, drugs (not taking drugs just the language used as metaphors), brief mentions of sex though no smut.

Y/N = Your Name | Y/L/N = Your Last Name

A/N: Written for the lovely @katehuntington​​‘s 1K Celebration (Congratulations again💚!). I chose the song Nicotine by Chef’Special - The story uses slightly reworded lyrics at multiple points, but I’ve marked the lyrics in bold in the one place I used the lyrics directly (with a change in tense from “is” to “was” to make it work with the story).

---

Dean had his vices. 

Hell, he nearly collected them like some people collected baseball cards; carefully filed and stored away in the dark recesses of his mind for when he needed an escape from the real world. A personal prescription to hedonistic tendencies that temporarily drowned out anger, pain and weakness. 

Sex, alcohol, adrenaline, unreasonable amounts of coffee, grease and sugar. They were his coping mechanisms. His form of self-medicating in a job that definitely didn’t offer a healthcare plan. Was it unhealthy? Yeah, maybe. But everything else in his life was already out to kill him, so he couldn’t really make himself care enough to stop. It wasn’t as if liver failure or death by sugar overdose was what was waiting for him down the line anyway. He’d never make it that far. 

No, Dean Winchester would die like he lived; with a gun in his hand, anger in his eyes and a weak hope for humanity in his heart.

His vices, his addictions, just let him escape from all the shit in his life for a little while. Let him feel like he had control over some part of his screwed-up existence. They were the comforting oblivion when the real world just hurt too much and the needed driving force when he was just too angry at the world to stay in one place and went looking for a hunt. For some sick bastard or monster to hurt in place of himself.

Each vice served its purpose. 

Casual sex and quick hook-ups for the days his bed felt too big and the loneliness was eating at him. Caffeine for when he was just tired of the constant sleepless nights and nightmares. Adrenaline and recklessness when he was angry at the fucking world. Alcohol to shut out the guilty thoughts and his not-so-greatest hits playing back featuring everyone he’d ever failed for just one night… You name a less than stellar state of mind; Dean had a vice to cope with it.

Though he’d stayed away from anything harder than alcohol as far as anything that could be considered ‘recreational’ went. He might be reckless, but he wasn’t about to make himself an easy mark by getting strung up on something that a bit of fresh air couldn’t shake. No, even when indulging, Dean wasn’t stupid. He was a hunter first, and one with a massive target on his back at that. He needed to keep a clear head to face the monsters the world kept throwing his way. 

He’d also never really gotten the whole fuss and temptation of cigarettes, past trying one once in his teens. The greyish bitter smoke reminded him too much of the black toxic cloud of sulfur that followed a possession. And he liked flavours and sensations when it came to his vices; the burn of a good whiskey, the pleasant heat of a woman’s body, the heavy pulse of an adrenaline rush. Not the thought of inhaling bitter, foul smelling smoke into his lungs and coughing them up until he got hooked on it. He never really understood why anyone would want to inhale anything other than air (and the occasional burger) in the first place. It just wasn’t natural.

Or at least he hadn’t… Until he met you. 

That’s when stolen moments of inhaled sweet air became another thing to get hooked on. The teasing whiff of your fresh shampoo as you brushed past him in the hallway. The sugar sweet rush of your scent that left him breathless when he’d pulled you close and out of danger. The breaths of cotton candy air he’d greedily stolen from your open mouth against his as he gasped around the taste of you once he finally worked up the courage to kiss you.

That was all it took. One gasped breath, and he was hooked. 

Every other vice and addiction paled in comparison to you. Some men had nicotine, Dean Winchester had you; his drug of choice. From that first dizzying hit of inhaled sugar and salt as he buried his face in your damp, heated neck, writing love stories on your skin with his tongue and teeth, Dean had been a goner. 

He needed to feel you under his fingers, taste you on his tongue and breathe in the sweet scent of your warm skin to fall asleep. Hell, to just stop from losing his mind when the world decided to test the limits of his sanity once more.

When you were around, he felt whole again. He hadn’t felt that way in years; that long lost and forgotten happiness. Like he was good, worthy and human. You were the only drug he’d ever need. The soothing touch of your fingers against his forehead was better than the oblivion found at the bottom of a bottle. Your steady breaths that lulled him into dreamless sleep removed the need for caffeine completely. And your body next to his on the bed didn’t just momentarily chase away the loneliness, it completely erased it. 

Dean didn’t just crave you. He needed you like others needed air.

Yet he’d chased you away. Leaving him tossing and turning in twisted sheets from withdrawal now that your skin wasn’t easily within the reach of his greedy fingers. His throat was rough and raw with a thirst he couldn’t quench. He couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think, couldn’t fucking breathe. His head was pounding with the constant echoes of your last fight. The ghost of your skin against his fingers was like an itch he couldn’t scratch. He needed you to breathe. He needed to taste you on his tongue. Dean needed you.

But you were gone. 

After another hard hunt, another life lost, he’d pushed you away. Yelling angry words that he didn’t even remotely mean, even in the heat of the moment, to make you leave him. Since he didn’t have the willpower to kick the habit that was (Y/N) (Y/L/N) himself. Silently begging you to get out before it was late, before your name was added to the list of people he failed to save. Breaking his own heart even as he told you that what you’d shared had to stop. 

It had been a bad fight. He might not have known how to stop craving you, but if there was one thing Dean Winchester was an expert at it was destruction. Tearing down anything remotely good in his life as if he was a controlled explosion; leaving the bad untouched and disintegrating the good. Demolishing beautiful, safe walls and leaving just a wreckage made of hurt, hunts and freezing lonely nights. It was the Winchester legacy; no heart left unbroken, no happy endings and no bright light at the end of endless dark tunnels. 

He’d told you he didn’t need you. That you made him weaker. That you were a danger to them. Turning everything he believed about himself on its head and mirroring it, so you had to temporarily carry the burdens, just for long enough to realise he was toxic. That he was a harmful habit that you needed to kick, or it would end up forcing you straight into an early, unmarked grave. 

He’d turned his back on you, and you’d left. Your angry tears drowned his already shattered heart as you spun on your heel and removed all traces of yourself from his life. Your parting words a bitter echo of love that just wouldn’t stop ringing in his ears. The beautiful sound of your voice, breaking over a promise of a love he didn’t deserve. 

“You hurt me Dean. And fuck if I don’t want to hurt you back. But I love you, and I always will, even if you can’t love yourself,”

He’d done it for your sake. Dean Winchester wasn’t really a safe pair of arms to rest in. Yet, the moment the door shut behind your retreating back, he’d regretted it. Sinking to his knees with the early shakes of withdrawal. 

He hadn’t realised how deep he’d fallen, how addicted he’d become to your plump lips and the bittersweet taste of your kiss. He was high on you, and he wasn’t coming down. Instead, everything he tried to do to wean himself off your taste, your touch and your scent only solidified how much he needed you. Your love was the cure, the miracle drug needed to survive the damned hell that was his unfair and unforgiving life.

But you were gone, and it was his fucking fault.

Twisting his body on the hard mattress Dean barely glanced at the glowing numbers on his bedside clock before combing a hand roughly through his hair and glaring at the dark ceiling above him. Anger radiating off of him and staining the ceiling with new guilty shadows and stupid decisions. 3 am; another sleepless, loveless night.

Before you, he would’ve just gotten out of bed on nights like that. Found a bottle and drank until the room started spinning and he passed out. But the taste of you was hotter than whiskey, the pull for you stronger than the oblivion he was trying to chase.

Staring at the ceiling, he squeezed his eyes shut and pinched at the bridge of his nose. His head was killing him, his body was aching for you. He just needed to fall asleep. To try and find his way to a dream featuring you, as if he was chasing a fading high. Just to not feel anything for at least a little while. To not freeze to death from the chill to his left where you’d been just days earlier. Just within his reach whenever he needed to feel your pulse against trembling fingertips or steal another gasped sugared moan from your lips. 

He was desperate for at least an hour of shut eye, of a dream of you. Even though he knew it was useless. Sleep wasn’t a cure. It wasn’t even a fucking band aid. Even if he managed to block out the hurt, the need, for a few hours. It’d just come rushing back once he woke back up. Knocking the air out of him and leaving him pinned to cold sheets, gasping for you. 

It was futile. Your love was like a drug. He couldn’t just forget you. He couldn’t sleep this off and shake it. He needed you more than adrenaline, alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, sugar… More than any fucking vice that anyone could think up. Without you he couldn’t even taste the burn of the whiskey or feel the heat of the sun on his skin. You were the colour to his sketched outline. Nothing else mattered if you weren’t there.

Opening his eyes, Dean’s feet found the chill of the concrete floor before he even fully realised what he was doing. He needed you. He’d been fucking stupid, letting you go. And even if all he could do was drive around aimlessly, looking for your car, then that’s what he’d do. It was 3 am, but Dean didn’t care. He’d drive, and he’d keep driving until he found you again. Until he could beg you for forgiveness. Beg you to come home to him.

He barely even remembered to grab his keys and jacket in his rush to fill the craving that was tearing his heart apart. Pulling the worn leather jacket on over the t-shirt and sweatpants he’d been sleeping in, or trying to sleep in, as he shouldered the door to his room open. 

He had to find you, had to make things right.

Dean Winchester had his vices. But you were no vice. You were a virtue, and he wasn’t gonna let you go. Not without chasing the sweet high of your kiss till the end of the world. 

 ---

Tags:

Dean Winchester Tags: @ria132love​​ @woodworthti666​​ @defenderrosetyler​  @akshi8278​

Forever Tags: @deanwanddamons​ @winchest09​ @hobby27​  @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​​ 

#kate huntington’s 1k celebration #dean winchester #dean x reader #deanwinchester #spndeanwinchester #Tales89Writes #dean winchester x reader #dean angst #dean addiction #tw: addiction #spn #supernatural #dean spn #dean supernatural #dean winchester angst #spn angst #supernatural angst #dean x you #dean winchester x you #spn reader insert #supernatural dean #supernatural reader insert #dean imagine #dean winchester imagine #spn imagine #supernatural imagine #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic

[missannwinchester]

Insane (Supernatural, Dean/Reader, Angst)

@katehuntington​ Congratulations on you milestone! This is my submission for your Going Dutch 1k Celebration Challenge. Based on “Insane” by Kensington. All the best Kate! <3 @winchest09​ thank you for editing it <3 

Title: Insane

Author: missafairy

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Rating: hard to tell, I’d go with PG 13

Tags/Warnings: canon typical stuff, mentions of Michael!Dean.

Summary: this story takes place after Ouroboros, Michael didn’t escape from Dean’s mind, he has been trapped there for far too long and Dean is losing his mind.

Dean was in Rocky’s bar again, standing there alone as he looked around, the flickering lights causing a painful migraine. His back was pressed against the door and he could feel Michael’s punches from behind the metal.

“I know you’re there, let me out!” Michael roared, making Dean flinch at that sound. He almost wanted to comply, his voice sounded in his brain like a command his body had to follow. It was so strange for him to listen to screams that seemed to be his own. It was like he was no longer able to tell apart Michael’s voice from his own muffled screams of distress. Dean had to be strong. In fact he had to be stronger than ever, but he was too tired to fight any longer.

“You think you can keep me trapped forever?”

“No. No, I don’t,” Dean muttered, knowing that even if he tried he wouldn’t be able to. He used to say ‘yes’ every time until now..

“Well finally you’re getting smarter,” Dean heard the snarky voice sound from the other side of the door and prepared himself for another punch. This one was stronger than the previous ones, as if  Dean’s confession gave Michael new hope for getting out.

“I’m stronger than this,” Dean whispered, closing his eyes. “I’m stronger than this,” he repeated, trying to think of Sam and of you – trying to remind himself who he had to be strong for. And then he felt it. The rage, hatred.

“LET ME OUT!” Dean heard the voice waking him up and his eyes opened wide, seeing nothing but darkness. Panicking, he moved his arms to his chest, relieved that his body listened to him. He took a deep breath, trying to remember where he was, but incoherent thoughts were racing through his brain.

To say that he was a mess was an understatement. The constant pounding in his head and the fear of letting the archangel out were crushing him. Also, the perspective of spending an eternity with Michael in a Ma’lac’s box at the bottom of the fucking Pacific Ocean was not very comforting. Strangely, not even holding you in his arms was comforting as if Michael, even now, was able to tell him how to feel. In fact, Dean was pretty sure that some of  his emotions weren’t exactly his. Besides hearing Michael pounding at the door, despite hearing him yell and cry out with fury, Dean was afraid he was also able to feel what he felt. The unstoppable rage. Dean could feel it when the noise in his head became unbearable, when the door holding Michael started quivering, only moments before Dean could shove it all back inside, there it was. Rage, madness that Dean couldn’t recognize as his own.

It was the middle of the night and you were laying in bed with Dean, staring into the darkness, when you felt Dean jerked awake behind you. You had to remind yourself why. You kept forgetting about Michael. You wondered why you felt like it was over. You knew it wasn’t. Naturally, Dean having Michael locked up in his mind was a solution, but it was only temporary. Seeing him as Michael had driven you crazy and you were beyond relieved when Sam and Cas brought Dean back. Back from... wherever he was, drowning in his own mind, stuck in a happy memory that hadn’t even happened. Maybe knowing that Michael had no longer Dean under his control, feeling Dean’s strong arms wrapped around you, pulling you tightly to his trembling body made you think that this fight was won. You felt a tender kiss on your temple and his warm body moved away from yours.

“Where are you going?” you whispered, your eyes trying to see his face in the dark room.

“I don’t know,” he said quietly. If he had known you were awake he would have had an excuse ready.

“You’ll let me out, I know you will!”

He was exhausted and needed some sleep, but  he couldn’t. Not with Michael trapped in his mind, not with the love of his life in bed right next to him when the door could give in any minute. Dean knew that he would be a threat until he was buried in the Ma’lac box, but no-one wanted to help him with this plan. They were all looking for another way. They were all pretending that he wasn’t a time bomb, that they weren’t scared of Michael’s promise to kill them one by one before destroying this world. Hell, for the longest time Dean had been pretending that he wasn’t suffering from the overwhelming insanity.

“Dean!” you called out, turning on the small lamp. He stopped and turned around with a sigh.

“Yeah?” he asked, trying his best to ignore the rattle Michael caused in his head.

“I’ll go with you,” you said softly, but surely. You wrapped yourself in a blanket and walked up to Dean, ready to go wherever he would lead to, wanting to be with him in the distress that seemed to follow him around.

Dean closed his eyes and nodded lightly. This was exactly what he was trying to avoid. He wanted to be alone, well, as alone as he could be in this situation. But he didn’t say a word, not wanting to waste the energy on fighting with you. He had to keep his guard up for Michael. He let you follow him to the library, where he sat on a couch, leaning against some cushions.

“You’re giving up, I can feel it!”

He stood back up restlessly before you could take a seat beside him. Dean looked into your questioning eyes and then his gaze focused on his bare feet.

“He doesn’t let you sleep,” you guessed, taking Dean’s hands into yours.

“He’s shouting so loud,” Dean gasped and you could swear he could hear Michael in this moment.“I’m so tired!” He gritted.

“Try again,” you suggested, pulling Dean to the couch. You both sat down and you put one of the cushions on your lap for Dean to lie on. With his head placed safely in that spot, he closed his eyes and you struggled to cover him a little with the blanket you had wrapped yourself in.

“I’ll watch over you,” you promised and brushed his temple with your fingers as you watched him fall almost instantly into a restless sleep.

The knocking was becoming louder and louder. Michael was pounding at the door with such force that any normal door would have given in a long time ago. But this door was in Dean’s mind and he was the one making the rules. And rule number one said that Michael can’t escape. That was the only reason why the door was still holding, but each punch at the barrier was forceful and loud. And it was getting louder. Dean wondered why, but then he noticed that he was back in Rocky’s bar, angry, frustrated and upset. Walking towards the storage room, the banging seemed to hurt his ears more with each step, the strange emotions were taking over him. He couldn’t name them all, but they were burning in his chest, trying  to suffocate him.

“LET ME GO!” Dean heard a deafening scream and Michael threw himself at the door once again.

“No!” Dean yelled angrily, sitting up on the couch, startling you so that you almost screamed yourself.

You were afraid to say something, worried that maybe, just maybe Dean wasn’t able to resist anymore.

“He keeps doing it!” Dean shouted and got up from the couch, throwing the cushion that had just been on your thighs as far as he could, knocking off a vase from a cupboard. “He never sleeps, never rests, never stops whacking the damn door and he won’t stop til I cave!”

“Calm down,” you pleaded, getting up from the couch slowly. Dean was leaning against a table and with one swift move he threw a dozen books to the floor. “Dean, please,” you said, your voice trembling as you hated seeing him like this, but at least you were sure it was him. “Please, I need you to be calm, okay?”

“Calm?!” he yelled. “You might be calm, but my head will explode, so I’m sorry if I’m not calm!” he shouted, facing you and you almost flinched. “You have no idea what it’s like,” he said, his voice dangerously low. “I don’t only feel him in my head anymore,” Dean sobbed. “I feel him everywhere!”

“Dean,” you started, but he didn’t let you finish.

“What?” he interrupted. “Do you want to tell me that I’m strong? I am, but guess what,” he said, taking a step towards you and you fought your instinct to take a step back with all you had. “He’s strong too,” Dean roared. “And he hates you,” he said with his teared up eyes glued to yours, making you feel shivers all over your body. “He hates you so much. Every time I stand outside that door and I try to stay strong and I think of you to hold onto something good... I can feel how much he wants to rip you into pieces,” Dean spat, not bothering to wipe the tears off his face. “And he would enjoy it!”

“I know you’re afraid he’ll hurt me, but-”

“I know how to stop it,” he urged.

“That box is not an option,” you said stubbornly, trying to look unfazed by what Dean had just told you.

“It is our only option,” he insisted. “Billie knows all endings,” he reminded you. “I’m out of the moves here! I know how to stop him and you won’t let me.”

“But she said they change!” you argued. “So it’s just a matter of time before we find another way and the ending changes again!” you said hopefully.

“I’m afraid we don’t have time,” he said bitterly. “I try to swallow it down, but it’s like a poison and no matter what I do I can’t shake this feeling that I’m gonna lose,” he confessed, his tone softer now and you finally found the courage to reach out for him. You touched his arm gently, your fingers moving around his bicep.

“I can only imagine the pain you’re in, but it won’t go away when you get locked in that box, just think about it!” you pleaded.

“It’s not the pain that breaks me down,” he whispered. “It’s that voice! I feel like I’m insane!”

“You’re not!” you opposed, but you knew where Dean’s fear was coming from. There were moments during the past few days when you thought he was losing it. He kept zoning out and he seemed to be talking to himself frequently when he thought no one could hear him.

“One minute I am...me and I love you and the other I feel his hatred and anger and... I’m afraid that soon I won’t be able to tell what’s real and what isn’t,” he gasped and you could see it in his eyes – the fear he had just told you about. “I barely can tell what’s real as it is.”

You wished you weren’t afraid of him, but the painful truth was that you were. Well, not of Dean, but of what could happen if he lost control. You were well aware that it was only a matter of  time, that the coffin was the only plan you had so far and it scared you  even more. Sure, he had survived all kinds of hell, including actual hell, but being trapped with a crazy archangel in a box for the whole eternity sounded worse than hell to you.

“I can help you,” you said quietly, not really knowing what else to do. “I can tell you what’s real,” you whispered, desperate for him to keep going.

“How would you know?” He asked, trying to provoke you. “Why do you think you know me that well?”

“You think I don’t?” you whispered, trying not to feel hurt by what he said. “After all those years you think I don’t know you?” You asked and Dean sighed, rubbing his temples. “You love me,” you said, “and because you love me you’re afraid he could hurt me. Those are your feelings, Dean. They are real.”

“Oh come on, but you do hate her a little. She’s not letting you use that coffin, right? Maybe she wants me out there?”

“Yes,” he gasped, interrupting Michael’s monologue. “They’re mine,” he agreed. “But... but what if I do hate you a little?” he asked brokenly, trying to look at you even though his vision was blurred.

“He hates me,” you told him slowly, “he, not you, remember?”

“Right, he hates you, I love you,” he repeated and let out a ragged breath. “It’s confusing,” he whispered and you felt his hands slip into yours. “Because his voice is my voice,” he said and you nodded.

“It is,” you agreed, squeezing his hands.

“I’m afraid we’re waiting too long,” he gasped and you took a small step towards him, closing the gap between the two of you.

“Just a little longer,” you pleaded and he nodded, seeking comfort in your arms. You pulled him to you, resting your head on his aching chest.

He knew he was hugging you. He knew he was in the library, in the bunker with you in his arms. But he couldn’t stop thinking about why that voice was there too. It seemed like he was unable to run away from it, to block it like he used to do. A voice that wasn’t his saying things he would never think of. Dean couldn’t feel you in his arms anymore, but he couldn’t remember when he let go of you.

“She wants me out, she makes you wait too long-”

“Stop it!” Dean blurted out and your brows furrowed in confusion. He held you at arms length, not letting you move closer.

“What?”

“What?” he asked and froze, looking into your eyes.

“Stop what?” you wondered and Dean’s entire body trembled, his terrified expression gave you a pretty good idea what he was so scared of.

“I think we’ve ran out of time,” he whispered, letting you go to wrap his arms around him, involuntarily forming a cage around his body and you choked on a sob. “Please... wake Sammy up.”

#dean winchester angst #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x you #kate huntington’s 1k celebration

[superfanficnatural]

Pressure Makes Diamonds

Pairing: Dean Winchester (Teen) x Female!Reader (College AU)

Summary: With college finals, trying to pay for your apartment, and dealing with depression, you wanted to give up. Will your boyfriend Dean be able to help you?

A/N: Ok this summary sucks but plz give this fic a chance. This is my submission to @katehuntington​ 1K celebration! The song that I have chosen is “Pressure Makes Diamonds” by Danny Vera. As always, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Fluff, Depressed Reader, Cute Dean, Mentions of Self-Harm.

Gif isn’t mine

You couldn’t do this anymore. Everything was too much, you felt like you were drowning. Your job paid you minimum wage so you were struggling with your debts and paying for your rent. Your finals were coming up and you barely got a wink of sleep for the past week, studying 24/7. You hadn’t tried to harm yourself in over four years, but you felt like a weight was attached to your foot, dragging you down. You felt like a stranger in your own body, disgusted with yourself and hating everything. You glanced over to the bathroom from your bed, the door open, you noticed the shaving razor on the counter. Getting up you slowly walked over to it, your heart beat increasing. Maybe just one time, one, last, time. 

Reaching the bathroom door, there was a knock on your door and you jumped with a tiny squeal. I’m not expecting anyone? Walking over to the door and looking through the peephole you saw Dean. Wasn’t he supposed to be at home studying as well? 

You pulled open the door, “Dean, what are you doing here?” you asked.

He took a good look at you before responding with a solemn look on his face, “I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry that I haven’t been here for you.” he walked in and brought you into a tight embrace. That was two of the things you loved about Dean, he always knew when you weren’t feeling well and his hugs always made you feel a thousand times better. You broke down in his arms, crying into his shoulder, “Everything is just so hard, Dean. I don’t know if I can do this.” you whispered.

“I know baby, I am so proud of you. You are so strong and I will always admire that about you.”

“I’m not strong, Dean. I’m weak, pathetic, the second everything goes wrong all I want to do is run away.” you choked.

“You are not weak, everyone feels like running away when things get hard, but you always stick to it, which is why you are one of the strongest people I have ever met.”

He pulled you into the living room and slowly started swaying with you, “Pressure makes diamonds, no giant can hold. Even the strongest can’t do it alone,” he continued, “That is why I will always be here to be a shoulder to lean on, a spring for you to jump up and touch the stars.” you smiled, his words making your heart swell with happiness. He slightly pulled back and rested his hands on your sides, your hands coming up to his shoulders.

“Pressure makes diamonds, not silver or gold. It breaks to pieces the hardest of stone. And it shines brighter than the stars that you know,” he sang. You chuckled with a smile, he always knew what to do to make you feel better. 

“It’ll take you some time ‘cause it’s rough and it’s tough. Then you will find what you are looking for,” he sang with a smile. You looked into his eyes and saw nothing but honesty and pure love. Tears were stinging at your eyes, how were you so lucky to find a man like him?

“I’ve already found exactly what I’ve been looking for, and he’s standing right in front of me.” you breathed. His smile reached the corners of his eyes, leaning down to kiss you, the two of you swayed together across the floor, sharing one of the best kisses you ever had. 

Pulling away, “What do you say you take a break and we watch some TV? Make some popcorn and cuddle under the blankets?”

You smiled, “I would love to.”

He guided you to the couch, “Don’t you worry about a thing, I’ll make the popcorn, you find us a movie to watch,” he kissed your cheek and went over to the kitchen. You felt infinitely better, who needs pain to feel when love is so much stronger?

Scrolling through Netflix, you found an action comedy that you wanted to watch, you were about to call out until you felt him come up behind you. Placing down the popcorn on your lap, he handed you a mug of hot chocolate, your favorite drink when you were feeling sad or tired. 

You reached up to kiss him, “I love you, you know that right?”

“I do, but I love you more.” he finished, leaving no room for argument. He got under the blankets with you and wrapped his arms around you. Playing the movie, you laid on his chest, looking up at him in awe. You didn’t know if you would still be alive if it weren’t for this perfect man next to you. Snuggling up even closer, the both of you laughed and shared kisses throughout the movie, falling asleep together, you knew that things were going to be better.

Forever Tags: @magssteenkamp @akshi8278 @shadowsinger11

#dean #dean fanfiction #dean imagine #dean winchester #fluff #Angst with a happy ending #angst #new writers on tumblr #oneshot #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #college au #reader insert #kate huntington’s 1k celebration

[idksupernatural]

Long Way Home: Twilight Zone (Part 1)

a/n: Here's the first chapter!! I'm soooo glad that we were able to post this. I'm really exited to see where this series goes and how it takes off. I have so many ideas for this series. So make sure to stay tuned!!

Summary Series: The Winchesters, Dean, Alex, and Sam, live in an abusive household since they were put into foster care. Eric and Rachael have been their adopted parents since they were put into foster care. Since senior year has come and Dean and Alex are turning 18, Eric and Rachael have been putting the siblings in bad situations ever since summer break and the year prior. What will happen one night everything turns upside down in a blink of an eye? What will happen if Dean is handed his siblings life?

Chapter One Summary: When Dean has to confess a secret he has to Alex, it turns out fairly well. 

Word Count: 2,454 words

Series Warnings: NSFW, 18+ only! under aged smut. Fluff, angst, swearing, alcohol intoxication, underage drug use, underage drinking. Heartbreak, crying, flashbacks, nightmares, trauma. Description of child abuse, domestic violence, self-harming, and rape. Stress, mental breakdowns, anxiety attacks, depression, suicide attempts. Description of blood and injuries, hospital scenes, near death experiences, more warnings. I can go on forever. 

Chapter Warnings: Fluffy Dean, swearing, angst, drunk!Dean, underage drinking, nightmare, mentions of domestic abuse, mention of self-harming(slightly), stressing over Dean being drunk. Slight mention of homophobia. Let me know if I’m missing any more warnings for this chapter. 

Characters in Chapter: Dean, Alex, and Michael. Mentions of Cas, Sam, Charlie Bradbury, Rachael, and Eric. 

This fic goes out to @katehuntington and her 1k celebration, congrats!!! I used ‘Twilight Zone’ by Golden Earring for this fic. Hope you like it. :)

----

'Ask anyone in this school about being a freak and they'll point to me, no questions asked. They always wonder why I'm this way, having a twin brother who rules the school, catching all the ladies, and a nerd of a brother who's too good to be here, who I say is way smarter than me, even though I'm at the top of my classes. But they don't know, and don't want to know, why I am who I am. When it comes to sex and partying, they're all over me and still can't figure out why...'

I type down the words on my computer, trying to let go of my problems. Cas said it would help me lift some pressure off my chest because, apparently, he does it every night to help him calm down. I call bull, but he insists on it. Without even noticing, Dean comes up to the top bunk and closes the computer on me. I barely move my hands out of the way before it slams shut.

"Hey," I screeched, putting my computer under my pillow.

"Bed time, loser," he said, laying down next to me.

I was trying to get comfortable on the bed, noticing Dean doing the same. This only meant one thing, and I wasn't in the mood.

"I was wondering if I can sleep with you and maybe. . .we can talk?" he asked, whispering so they couldn't hear us. I pulled a face at him telling him what I was thinking so he got the hint.

"We-we don't need to talk, I-I actually have to. Can you just, maybe, listen?" He stuttered over his words. Something must be up because he always stutters when something is bothering him. I changed my expression quickly, slightly smiling to make him comfortable.

We settled under the blankets, the room already dark from when Dean closed the door. I could hear Sammy's light snores from the bottom bunk, telling me he was out like a light.

Dean was hesitant to talk to me. His face was open like a book and I could easily read it in the sliver of light that was slipping through the window.

"You know you can talk to me, right? I'm always here for you and-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I just don't know how to say it," he said, cutting me off, clearly thinking of what he wanted to say.

"Okay, so," he began. I pulled his hands into mine, squeezing them, letting him know that I was here and that it was safe. "I'm kinda dating Cas. Actually, we've been dating since the summer, and. . .and I couldn't keep hiding this from you. If you're not okay with it, then tell me straight up, I'll be fine bu-"

"Dean, why wouldn't I be okay with it? You always seemed happy with him since we were small. You guys always give each other that look when you see each other, I'm surprised you didn't start dating sooner! I'm happy that you're together. You have someone who can love you," I said. Deep down, I was doing a little happy dance because Dean was so carefree whenever he's with Cas and I'm always happy to see him happy. They've been giving each other googoo eyes since the fifth grade and it's been painful just watching their endless pining.

"Wait, so you're not mad?" I nodded rapidly. "You're completely okay with this?"

"Yes, I am Dean! Quit worrying," I said, trying to reassure him. "But," I began, and his happy expression dropped, "you can't let Eric and Rachael know about this. They will murder you, and that's not going to happen on my watch." I pulled him into a side hug.

"Yeah, I know that much," he sassed back, and I could feel him roll his eyes. He squeezed me tightly.

We layed in each other's arms, and just like every time this has happened before, we found it comfortable. I breathe in his scent, forever familiar in my head. Whiskey (he drinks it a lot, but I don't say anything), oil that hasn't quite come off of him after his shower, and this one smell that I couldn't quite describe, but it was just the smell of Dean and that's all I needed to know.

I could feel sleep overtaking me, the darkness consuming me. Before I let the darkness engulf me fully, I feel Dean lay a lingering kiss on the top of my head.

"I just hope you'll be happy too," he whispers into the air.

Finally, I let the darkness consume me.

I pounded on the door for what seemed to be the hundredth time, growing more annoyed with Dean.

"I've been out here for the past five minutes," I shouted, "hurry and wrap it up!" I pounded my first harder on the door, surprised they have not started to hurt.

I can hear mumbling on the other side of the door, and seconds later he comes out, pulling his shirt over his head.

"Dude, you reek of sex and that isn't the way we want to walk into the house. You know that place is a madhouse! It's already two a.m. and we were supposed to be home at ten forty-five. I'm really glad Sammy asked to sleep over at a friend's house tonight," I scoffed furiously, grabbing at his arm. One look into his eyes and I knew we were fucked. He was drunk. Of course he's drunk! He gave me that smirk, that cocky and full-of-shit smirk, and oh my GOSH I just wanted to punch it right off his face.

"Y'know, y'look. . . y'look funny when yer mad." His voice was higher than it was supposed to be, his words slurring together. He tried to go in for a hug, giggling intensely.

"No, no, no. No hugs Dean! You look like you've been to every sex club in existence, you smell like a bar, and-are you even listing to a word I'm saying?!" I gripped his arm harder, trying to pull him with me to no avail.

"Nope." He popped the p and gave me a goofy smile. God, he looks so happy right now, I thought. I wish I could make him look this happy everyday.

"Okay," I patted him on his shoulder, sighing and loosening my grip on his arm, "okay."

We started making our way downstairs. I grabbed our coats and my purse that were in the hallway closet before I headed back to Dean, who was sitting on the couch, his eyes drooping from drowsiness trying to take over his body.

"Come on buddy, time to get up." I lightly shake him awake. He squinted his eyes at me.

"Uuugghh I don't wanna gooo!" Dean whined. I pursed my lips and rolled my eyes.

"Well boo-hoo your ass. I was down here watching everyone, and by that I mean I was watching everyone making out with each other, sitting here waiting for you." I pulled on his arm, but he wouldn't budge. Then, I smirked at an idea that popped in my head. "If you don't get your lazy ass up, we won't drive in Baby."

Dean's eyes grew wide, and he stood up immediately, swaying. I steadied him, giving him his coat. He stared at it and giggled, and I rolled my eyes and took his hand, leading him to the door.

I open the door, the air stinging my face as I practically dragged Dean behind me, a trail of giggles and nonsense leaving his mouth. I walk to the top of the steps leading down to the sidewalk, stopping at the sight I see.

The yellow light from the streetlamps illuminates the scene of my friend, Charlie Bradbury, kissing some random girl. I stumble, taking a few steps back, and I feel Dean bump into me.

"Shwoops!" Dean exclaimed loudly, startling Charlie and her. . ."friend."

Charlie stares at me for what feels like forever. I wait for her to say something, anything, but she says nothing. I clear my throat and make it down the steps with Dean clumsily following behind me, a weird feeling in my stomach. I mean, it's not like I should care, It's not like she's my girlfriend. We're only friends! And it seems like she was enjoying her make out sesh with whoever that was. . .

I shake my head to clear my thoughts, dragging Dean behind me. He yanks his hand free from my grip and walks in front of me to reach the car, kindly opening the door to the passenger's seat for me.

"M'lady," he says, drawing out the y, bowing down to me, stumbling over his feet. I rolled my eyes, thinking to myself, Why, God, why do I have to be related to this dumbass?

Dean stood upright, his hand fumbling in his pocket to get his keys. Once he got them, he attempted to swirl them around his finger, but ended up with the keys on the sidewalk. He giggled and said, "I'mma drive." I sighed, annoyed, and picked the keys up from the sidewalk. I pushed Dean into the passenger seat, receiving a giggle in reply. "Yer, thehe, really fhu. . .fhunny, d'you know that?"

"Yes, Dean, I know that we established this already. Now c'mon, we need to get out of here," I said, patting his shoulder and reaching out to close the door.

"Okie dokie," he said, laughing quietly as I closed the door.

"This is why Sammy likes me better," I muttered under my breath, heading to the driver's side of the car and getting in.

"You ready? Because I am," I stated to Dean, closing the door behind me and turning the ignition on. When I heard the rumble of Baby's engine roar, I knew we were set.

----

We stopped by an abandoned parking lot for the night, not wanting to go "home." I headed to the back seat and got comfortable, using my jacket as a pillow.

"Dean?" I asked, receiving a hum in response. "How sober are you?"

"Mostly not drunk, why?" he asked, seriousness in his voice.

"Just askin'," I replied back, keeping it short. A feeling I knew too well settled over the car. Silence. It felt like we were wrapped up in silence, and I felt it crushing me. The itch is back on my arms and I shut my eyes tight, not wanting to think about what happened earlier today. The reason why I agreed to go to the party in the first place, to numb the feeling. But, of course I couldn't because I needed to take care of my ass of a brother here. I reached under the passenger's seat and grabbed my new best friend, tequila. I popped the cap off and took a swig, the familiar liquid burning throughout my throat and chest.

After a few moments of crushing silence and me going to town with my tequila best friend, I heard gun shots in the distance. Dean and I startled, looking at each other. We looked out the window to the lot so we could figure out where the sound came from. Dean sprang up from his seat and headed out of the car.

"Dean get back in the car, you don't know who could be out there!" I whispered yelled, afraid of getting caught. I reached out, grabbing his elbow and spinning him around. "You're still wasted, so get your ass back in the car!"

"What if somebody's hurt, Alex?" he whispers yelled back at me. "I'm technically the older one in this situation, so you should just let me go!"

"Letting you go my ass! If you're gonna fight me on this, I'm at least gonna go with you and that is period," I replied fiercely. He huffed, turning away, looking for the potential threat.

"Fine, come on."

"Ugh, fine."

So with that, we walked through the abandoned lot, using our flashlights from our phones. The only things I could hear were our quiet footsteps and Dean's heavy breathing. My heart started thumping so fast and hard that it felt like it would burst out of my chest, and I could hear the blood pumping in my ears with every step I took. Dean stopped abruptly, causing me to bump into him.

"What the hell, du-"

"Shut up, look!"

There it was; the gun. There was blood splattered all over the chamber and handle.

"Give me your bandana," I said quickly.

"Why?!" Dean asked, exasperated, but still reaching in his pocket to get the bandana out.

"Just give me the damn thing," I said, yanking it out of his hand, lay the piece of cloth on top of the gun, and gently pick it up. The gun still warm under my touch, examining it, then putting it back down as gently as I picked it up. "The chamber's still hot but there weren't any dents or scratches on it. So the attacker," my breath hitched, "the attacker-"

"He must have left it there," a familiar voice said, startling us both. "Hands where I can see 'em, darling." I mentally cringed at the name, a shiver going down my spine. I turned around and saw the last person I ever wanted to see, slowly inching closer to Dean.

"What are you doing here? Last time I checked, you moved out of Lawrence," Dean spat, anger growing inside of him.

"Well, you ain't in Lawrence anymore. You're in my turf now, Winchesters." He reached for the gun, pointing it at us. All the sirens in my head were going off, telling me to get as far away as I could with Dean, but we really couldn't do that at the moment because of the gun being pointed at us. And, by the weight of when I picked it up, it was fully loaded.

"Put the goddamn gun down Michael, we all know you won't shoot us," Dean spat, venom leaking from his words, ready to fight him at any second.

"Maybe, maybe not. But one thing I know for certain is that I despise the Winchester's guts." His finger lingered over the trigger.

"Just put the gun down, Michael," I said from my spot next to Dean.

"You guys put me through hell this past year. So, why don't you give me a perfectly good reason to not shoot both of you right now?" He was met with silence, Dean and I not uttering a word. "That's what I thought."

I was starting to realize at this moment that eternal fate has turned its back on us. He pulled the trigger, and the last thing I heard was BANG!

----

a/n #2: hiya! thank you to all of those reading this, i appreciate it a lot. i love editing this story and encouraging my friend, so i hope you love it as well! - Kati Bee

a/n #3: I want a special thanks to my sweet friend, kati bee. I wouldn't know where this chapter would have gone without her. I know many writers say this but feedback and likes are kindly appreciated. It's letting us know that you guys are enjoying the story and wanting us to continue the story, as well. 

a/n #4: forgot to mention that Dean and Alex are twins,17 going to 18, and Sam is 13 going to 14. 

#Kate Huntington’s 1K celebration #first fic #hope it goes well #LWH #chapter 1 #fluffy dean #drunk dean #twins #Dean #Destiel #Alex #Sammy

[katehuntington]

#Kate Huntington’s 1K celebration #Kate Huntington #Going Dutch #spotify playlist #Spotify

[katehuntington]

I reached a 1000 followers! That calls for a celebration!

Besides writing and horses, I have one other passion. A passion that has brought me to tears, had me dance and sing at the top of my lungs. A passion that made me feel whole and is the soundtrack of my life in de good times and the bad. You guessed it: MUSIC!

I can hear you thinking; but what does music have to do with ‘going Dutch’? Simple. I’m Dutch, and so is a group of incredibly talented musicians. Very few are known globally, despite the amazing talent they possess. I want to do my bit and introduce my followers to music made in Holland by hosting a writer’s challenge. I made a selection of 75 songs, produced by Dutch singers and bands. There’s rock, country, pop, folk, soul, even some symphonic metal; plenty to choose from!

Writers can participate by choosing a song from the list below. But that’s not all. Non-writers can send in a request! I have gathered a team of writers; @winchest09, @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish, @kittenofdoomage, @talesmaniac89, @dissect-me and myself. Your request will be written by any of these skilled artists. That way, everyone can join the celebration!

Rules:

Writers:

Your fanfiction is based on Supernatural or their actors.

When you have found a song you like, send me an ask or a message. If the song is not taken yet, I will confirm and scratch it off the list in this post.

You’re allowed to pick more than one song.

Drabbles, one shots, full blown series; you are free to type down as many words as you would like! No word limit.

Use the title of the song you have chosen as your fanfic title. 

Use (a part of the) lyrics in the story. One sentence is enough, but if you want to use every word sung, knock yourself out.

Mention @katehuntington when you post the fic and use the hashtag #Kate Huntington’s 1K celebration in the tags. You will be added to the masterlist and I will share your story. If I haven’t reblogged within a week, shoot me a message to make sure I got your tag.

The deadline is January 31st, 2021. Why this date? Because I realize some of you will be working to fill out Bingo cards, so the time limit for this challenge is a month later. 

Please make sure to add trigger warnings and to use the ‘keep reading’ feature when the story is over 500 words long.

Non-writers:

Your request is based on Supernatural or their actors.

When you have found a song you like, send me an ask or a message. Besides the song title + artist, give us an idea of what you want written (summary, ship, prompt, fluff/angst/smut, etc.) 

You cannot request a writer. 

You can request RPF, AU’s, A/B/O, but also Destiel, Wincest, and other ships. Every writer on the team has their specialty. However, if you request something neither of our writers is comfortable with, we will let you know so you can change your request if you like to. 

You will be tagged in the original post. Every writer will publish the request on their own blog.

All stories will be gathered in a special masterlist for this celebration, which will be updated frequently. The final masterlist update will be on February 1st, 2021.

Keep reading to find the songs selected for this challenge!

Uncharted - Kensington (@winchest09)

Before You Let Me Go - Kane (@soaringeag1e)

I Still Cry - Ilse DeLange (@holylulusworld)

Multicoloured Angels - Douwe Bob

Back in the Water - HAEVN

Soldier On - DI-RECT (@idksupernatural)

Time Has No Mercy - The Common Linnets @kalesrebellion​)

One Word - Anouk

Arcade - Duncan Laurence (requested by @roonyxx​)

Island - Kensington

Can You Handle Me? - Kane (requested by @karikatz12481​)

Radar Love - Golden Earring (requested by @deanwinchesterswitch)

Oblivious Desire - Danny Vera (@idksupernatural)

Inside My Head - DI-RECT

This Is What It Feels Like - Armin van Buuren (@idksupernatural)

Chronos Pt. 1 - Kensington

Lost - Anouk (@firely-in-darkness)

Tonight - Jett Rebel (@chocolateheart)

Walk Away - Raccoon

Damn Those Eyes - Kane (@deanwanddamons)

She Couldn’t Laugh - Twarres

Twilight Zone - Golden Earring (@idksupernatural)

Hold Me - Douwe Bob, Anouk (requested by @chocolateheart)

Home - Dotan (@girl-with-a-fandom-fettish)

Dreamer - Dinand

Kitty Kitty - De Staat (@kayteonline)

Calm After The Storm - The Common Linnets

Insane - Kensington (@missafairy)

Beat Me - Davina Michelle

Love You More - Raccoon (@winchest)

What Have You Done - Anouk

Ice Queen - Within Temptation

Let It Be - Kane

Going to the Run - Golden Earring

Sorry - Kensington

Waves - Mr. Probz

Sacrifice - Anouk

In Your Arms - Chef’Special (@girl-with-a-fandom-fettish)

Where the Heart Is - HAEVN (requested by @afangirlsbubble)

Wild Wild Son - Armin van Buuren

Sweet Goodbyes - Krezip

Roller Coaster - Danny Vera

Hurricane - Mattanja Joy Bradley

Numb - Dotan

Outlaw In ‘Em - Waylon

All For Nothing - Kensington

Shot Of A Gun - Kane

Promises of No Man’s Land - Blaudzun

Angels - Within Temptation (requested by @sinful-chihuahua​)

Back In My World - Alain Clark

Still Loving After You - The Common Linnets

Brother - Raccoon

I’m Not So Tough - Ilse DeLange

No Me - Kensington

I’m Out Of Your Mind - De Staat

Fortitude - HAEVN

Stand by Your Man - Mattanja Joy Bradley (requested by @janicho88​)

Nothing Really Matters - Mr. Probz

Saturday Night - Herman Brood

My Best Wasn’t Good Enough - Kane

Control - Kensington (requested by @fortheloveoffanart​)

What Have You Done - Within Temptation (@pizzamanhedelivers)

Lost Without You - Krezip (@becs-bunker)

Broken But Home - The Common Linnets (requested by @team-free-will-you-idjiot​

Nobody’s Wife - Anouk

Another 45 miles - Golden Earring

Let The River In - Dotan

Nicotine - Chef’Special (@talesmaniac89)

Stone Into The River - Douwe Bob

City Lights - HAEVN (requested by @lexisugar)

Streets - Kensington

Close To You - Michael Prins

This Is Who We Are - DI-RECT

Pressure Makes Diamonds - Danny Vera (@superfanficnatural)

Mona Lisa - De Staat

The list can also be found on Spotify and on YouTube. When you search “Kate Huntington’s 1K celebration: Going Dutch” on Spotify, you should be able to find it. The Youtube link can be found here.

If you are having trouble, you can shoot me a message and I’ll make sure to post the link to the Spotify playlist separately on my blog.

Have fun, lovelies! 

Love, Kate

Follow Forever tags: @1000roughdrafts @adoptdontshoppets @afangirlsbubble @akshi8278 @angelsandwinchesters @atc74 @bandobsession98 @becs-bunker @caligraphee @canadianspnhunter @chumi-la-chula @coffee-obsessed-writer @deanwanddamons @cookie-dough-lova @dawnie1988 @dolanfivsosxox @demonsofhunting @dillpicklesunflowerseed @emoryhemsworth @fangirlxwritesx67 @fangirl-and-medstudent-help @flamencodiva @foreverwayward​ @heartsaved @hennessy0274-blog @hobby27 @hyperella @idreamofhazel @indecisive20something @ivonstiel @just-another-busy-fangirl @kathaswings @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @maddiepants @mariekoukie6661 @mogaruke @mrswhozeewhatsis @myheartbeatsjustforyou @notnaturalanahi @pisces-cutie @rainqueen @risingphoenix761 @sammyssupersmile @sheepdogs33456 @soupornatural @spnbaby-67 @spnimag @sunskittlex @supernatural-girl97 @super-not-naturall @team-free-will-you-idjiot @theyaremyveryownthoughts @thoughtslikeaminefield @tmiships4life @tranquility-or-chaos @trashforwinchesters @ultimatecin73 @unlikelygalaxygiver @uzum4k1-uch1h4  @vxxn128 @winchesterxtwo 

#Kate Huntington's 1K celebration #Kate Huntington's 1K celebration: Going Dutch #writer's challenge #Supernatural #SPN #SPN family #Supernatural fanfiction #Dean Winchester fanfiction #Sam Winchester fanfiction #Kate Huntington #Going Dutch

[katehuntington]

Kate Huntington's 1K celebration: Going Dutch YouTube playlist

For those who don’t have Spotify, I created a YouTube playlist of the songlist. Some are official videos, others lyric videos are live versions. I hope this way it’s easier for you to access the music!

Find the playlist on YouTube HERE!

#Kate Huntington's 1K celebration #Kate Huntington's 1K celebration: Going Dutch #writer's challenge #Supernatural #SPN #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #Castiel

[katehuntington]

2020, 2nd edition Disclaimer: ‘Kate Huntington’s Author & Fanfiction Recommendations’ is a platform for writers, to show appreciation for their work and expand their audience. I do not claim to be the author of these stories, neither do I own them. Read each writer’s warnings carefully, most of them are rated +18.

Without further ado, here is my list of recommendations.

One shots

“My Hero” - written by @plaidstiel-wormstache Angst/fluff - Sam Winchester x female reader, Dean Winchester - 1524 words     When Sam gets hurt on a hunt, Y/N is the only one who can help him. What I love most about this fanfic is the medical accuracy. I am no expert in any way, but after seeing countless medical dramas and having done plenty of research for characters and stories, I really appreciate it when knowledge about medicine practically drips from my screen. A lovely read.

“Everytime You Leave, I Hit Rock Bottom” - written by @arazialotis  Angst/fluff/slight smut - Dean Winchester x female reader - 2050 words      This story portrays little snippets of Dean’s and Y/N’s relationship as they struggle to balance her normal life with his life as a hunter. The writer has done a beautiful job showing how much of a challenge it would truly be. The longing for each other after weeks apart, the realistic arguments. It’s liberating to read fanfiction that shows the imperfections that come with being a hunter’s other half.

“Nicotine” - written by @talesmaniac89 Angst - Dean Winchester x reader - 1966 words      Dean has plenty of unhealthy coping mechanisms to help him get through his dark days, but the only drug that really helps, is you. This story is inspired by the song Nicotine by Chef’Special and was written for my 1K celebration. The lyrics to this song are surprisingly depressing, despite it being an upbeat song, and the writer has captured it better than I could have ever hoped for. If her writing was music, it would be a symphony played by an orchestra. Her way with words is melodic and moving. Goosebumps all over.

“Over Our Heads” - written by @deanssweetheart23  Fluff - Dean Winchester x female reader - 2482 words      The feelings Dean and Y/N have for each other and have been under wraps for years begin to surface during a movie night. Oh my word, what an amazing thing to witness. This sweet story is a gorgeous piece of writing. How the author is able to take such a quiet and simple moment and turn it into something so meaningful and heartfelt, is beyond me. Talent oozes from this fanfic and is worth your time and love.

“The Voices” - written by @fictionalabyss  Angst/comfort - Dean Winchester x female reader - 1215 words

Based on ‘I hear the voices when I’m dreaming. I can hear them sing’ from the Supernatural anthem Carry On My Wayward Son, comes this breathtakingly beautiful piece of fanfiction. Perfect lines, spot on dialogue and it couldn’t have been more true to the character. It’s painfully raw, sad, and tears will fall. It makes you feel for Dean in ways that are difficult to describe. The writer of this story is known for her talent with words, but she outdid herself here.

“The Things We Tell Ourselves” - written by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord  Comfort/fluff/explicit - Dean Winchester x reader, Sam Winchester      Y/N is miserably stuck in a stale relationship, and then an old flame rolls into town. The very first line is already a winner; what a way to start a fic. The picture this writer paints of a flawed relationship is very realistic. I think a lot of people can relate, being stuck, too far in to just pull the plug. The descriptions are very detailed and this story has the reader wishing for more. 

“Promise Me We’ll Be Alright” - written by @impala-dreamer  Angst - Dean Winchester x reader - 1303 words      This one shot portrays Dean’s struggle with bearing the Mark of Cain so beautifully. Everyone could imagine how rough it must have been for him, but this writer took that pain and my heart with it. She has the ability to leave things unsaid in order for the next line for a bigger impact; it’s smart writing and it’s so effective. It’s vivid, it’s realistic, it’s breathtaking.

“Time For Plan B” - written by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters Fluff - Dean Winchester x pregnant!reader, Sam Winchester - 1900 words      So much fluff, that I smiled all the way through. For one, it’s incredibly well written, it flows so wonderfully. Secondly, the comedy and the lightness of this bit of fanfiction is perfect. Writing something that’s funny isn’t easy, but this author did a terrific job. It’s a perfect blend of fluff and funny. Thirdly, who can resist father-to-be Dean? “Side By Side” - written by @talesmaniac89 Angst - Dean Winchester x reader - 2542 words      On the anniversary of yet another fallen friend, Dean is unable to cope with the loss, but thankfully he has Y/N by his side. Another brilliant creation, based on the song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. A song which surfaces a lot of emotions, much like this poetic and amazing piece of fanfiction. Words that come to mind are heart wrenching, tear jerking, and in a way comforting as well. A must read.

“Cabin Fever” - written by @slytherkins Angst/explicit - Dean Winchester x Chloe (OFC) - 17002 words      This has got to be hands down the best thing to discover in a while. What an amazing work of art. 17K might sound like a lot and original characters aren’t read as much on this platform, but it is worth every second of time. The storytelling is gripping and the well told tail will not let the reader go. The way the creator described Dean and his torment, his inner thoughts and his struggle is absolutely superb. It’s a homage to everyone dealing with chronic pain, disability and depression. This fic had me clutching my chest and praying ‘no no no no, please don’t do it’ all the way through. I haven’t felt emotional about writing like this much, but this writer knocked it out of the damn park.

“I Just Called To Say I Love You” - written by @talesmaniac89 Angst - Dean Winchester x reader      When Dean gets lethally injured and has only minutes to live, he calls the woman he loves to have one last normal, happy moment with her. It hurts as bad as it sounds, but in the most wonderful way. It’s exactly how Dean would go down, the characterization beyond perfect. The descriptions, the dialogue, the details, the choices. The song that serves as the perfect title has been forever ruined for me. It’s a Rembrandt painted with letters.

“To The End Of Time” - written by @impala-dreamer Angst - Dean Winchester x reader - 2600 words      Talking about fanfiction completely changing the meaning of a song. I have heard ‘Paradise By The Dashboard Light’ by Meatloaf a couple of times on the radio now, and I cannot listen to it without thinking of this story. Dean mourning the death of his loved one is painfully well described. The alternations between the present and the flashbacks, the evident contrast between the happiness that was and the sorrow that is now. It’s beautifully done. The song fits the story perfectly. What a read. 

“Calm After The Storm” - written by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters​ Angst/comfort - Dean Winchester x reader - 2200 words      What a pleasant surprise this one shot was! As a stormchaser, this little AU had my heart from the beginning, but you certainly don’t need to be an admirer of the weather to appreciate it. Besides that the subject really appeals to me, it’s also incredibly well written. The comfort Dean offers is sincere and moving.

“Bring It On Home” - written by @thoughtslikeaminefield  Fluff/explicit - Dean Winchester x female reader - 1207 words      Dean comes home to his girl after a hunt, unable to wait to be with her again. This writer has a very poetic way of describing this sweet scene. There are so many wonderful lines in here, little gems wrapped up in heartwarming, carefree and happy fluff. I wish something so pure for my favorite hunter.

“A New Future” - written by @kittenofdoomage​​ Fluff/angst/explicit - Alpha!Dean Winchester x female Omega!reader - 9944 words      Dean is unable to deal with the aftermath of losing his brother, but Y/N is there to pick up the pieces. How she puts the battered hunter back together is a beautiful thing to see in words. I’m always amazed how well this author writes A/B/O. Although it might not be everyone’s cup of tea, she certainly managed to get me on the alpha omega train. The storytelling is strong, the characters authentic, the details amazing, every word of dialogue spot on.

“Comfort” - written by @idreamofplaid​  Fluff/comfort - Dean Winchester x female reader, Sam - 2342 words      Y/N and Dean have a routine when he leaves on a hunt, but also one when he comes home to her, and it’s such a beautiful thing. It’s lovely to witness how comfortable Dean is and how he allows her to love him, as much as he loves her. The details are astonishing, how she makes everything perfect for her hunter to return, how they don’t talk about the hunt, but just are. Very well written, I was floating while reading this and felt warm from all the affection. The writer does a wonderful job drawing the one reading in, making it impossible to put down.

“If It Was To Work” - written by @deangirl93​ Angst/Fluff/explicit - Dean Winchester x reader, Sam Winchester - 3979 words      After a much needed black and white, non-Chuck hunt, the Winchesters go to a bar for a good time. Dean doesn’t expect to run into a familiar face, however. The very first one shot of a new writer and it certainly deserves attention. This new kid on the block has so much potential! This story for instance is an uncut diamond. The writing is smart, with beautiful quotes which call back to the show we all love so much. The author of this fanfic is one to watch!

Imagines:

“Imagine Dean debating asking you out” - written by @luci-in-trenchcoats​   Fluff/comedy - Dean Winchester x female reader      Dean has a crush on a girl, Sam is calling him out. When his little brother threatens to expose his secret, Dean tries to silence him, and it’s honestly the funniest read I’ve had this month. Writing comedy isn’t easy, but this was flawless.

“Imagine depression hitting you hard” - written by @wicked-wayward-warrior​ Angst/comfort - Dean Winchester x Jazzie Baker (OFC) - 1993 words      Jazzie is struggling, but thankfully Dean is by her side. This story is an ode to everyone dealing with mental illness. The way this author put depression to words is both chilling and amazing. Dean being the support and the comforting man that everyone wants in their life if just what I needed.

“Imagine experiencing your worst nightmare” - written by @carryonmywaywardcaptain​ Angst - Dean Winchester x reader      The angst is strong with this one, because Dean expresses what he really feels, but it will not be what you think. The opening is painfully dark, then it takes a turn, and the way this writer described the confusing and anxious thoughts of Y/N is really well done. Everyone can relate to this; being dismissed and hated by the ones you love is worse than losing them all together. A good read.

Drabbles:

“All That’s Left” - written by @impalaimagining​ Angst/comfort - Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins - 559 words      Just the thought of my favorite show ending has me emotional, not to mention when it’s put into words like this. God, this is beautiful.  The way this author describes Jensen, Jared and Misha is amazing. So true to them, so tangible. She’s brave enough to leave things unsaid, the silence expressing so much more than words ever could. Reading how everyone’s favorite people say farewell to Supernatural pulls at heartstrings in a way that is both sad and comforting.

“She’s Not You” - written by @winchest09​ Fluff - Dean Winchester x female reader - 995 words      At the night of senior prom, and Y/N’s date stood her up, until someone knocked on the door. I for one am a total sucker for a prom date!Dean; still a teenager, sort of innocent, and yet still the Dean we’ve all fallen in love with. This was written so effortlessly and sweetly. If anyone is in the need of some tooth-rotting fluffiness, this is the go-to fic. 

“You’re Home” - written by @impala-dreamer​  Angst/explicit - Dean Winchester x reader - 682 words      Another drabble that’s worth mentioning is this short story. It portrays the hunter waking up from a nightmare about Purgatory, Y/N next to him to sooth him. Beka does Dean’s PTSD more justice in 682 words than the writers have ever done on the entire show. A beautiful piece of art.

“Home Is Where You Are” - written by @muggleishly​ Fluff - Daddy!Dean Winchester x reader      Dean comes home from a hunt to his family, and oh my word, it couldn’t be fluffier. Dean as a father melts every fangirl’s heart, but the creator of this lovely little drabble turned it up a notch. Sweet as candy, uplifting and light on its feet. This one will definitely lift your spirits in dark times.

“Handy Man” - written by @deanwanddamons​ Fluff - Dean Winchester x reader - 862 words      Dean fixing a blocked drain under the kitchen sink in a black shirt and Levi’s jeans; what a sight that must be. The writer of this fic is able to describe the scene in great detail. Besides the obvious appreciation of the gorgeous man, it’s great to see him doing something normal and domesticated. It’s the life we all wish for him. A great little drabble for a Sunday morning with a cup of tea by the side.

“One For Tomorrow, One Just For Today” - written by @thoughtslikeaminefield Explicit/fluff - Dean Winchester x reader - 662 words      Sex with Dean is always amazing, but there’s nothing hotter than him singing a classic while he’s doing it. After reading this, that famous song by The Doors will never sound the same. Sit back, relax and listen to the music.

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed the work of the authors above, don’t be afraid to let them know. I’m sure they will appreciate it. Feel free to share!

If you have any suggestions or would like a tag in the future, drop a request in my inbox or send me a message.

Love, Kate

#Kate Huntington's author & fanfiction recommendations #fic recs #Supernatural fanfiction #Dean Winchester fanfiction #Sam Winchester fanfiction #Dean x Reader #Sam x Reader #Supernatural #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #not mine