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kimbappykidding · 2 months

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Previous parts: Part One

"Hey where's Y/n?" Chen asked one day on the way to rehearsal "we haven't seen her in ages". Baekhyun stiffened and wondered how to respond. "Yeah why hasn't she been over?" Sehun asked. Baekhyun took a breath and shrugged "you all have phones, you can Invite her" he replied making the boys all pause. "Well yeah but you're closest to her which is why we were asking" Chen said. "We're not that close!" Baekhyun said "I haven't even seen her all month so we can't be that close". "Okay okay you're not close!" Chen relented sensing this was a sensitive subject and Baekhyun sighed, upset he'd snapped. "Sorry I just...don't think we're friends anymore" Baekhyun admitted. "Oh...I'm sorry" Chen said and Suho frowned "do you want to talk about it?". Baekhyun told them what happened from you seeing him and Seoyun to you getting back with Jin. "So are you and Seoyun back together?" Lay asked. Baekhyun shook his head "she's messaged me a few times but I haven't texted her back". "So you wanted to sleep with Seoyun because you didn't want Y/n thinking you two were a couple?" Kai asked and Baekhyun nodded. "But you're upset she's back with Jin?" Chanyeol asked and Baekhyun sighed "I know it makes me such hypocrite". "Yeah a little" D.O. nodded "but what stopped you sleeping with Seoyun. Was it just guilt or something else?". "Something else?" Baekhyun asked "if you're implying I'm secretly in love with Y/n you can stop right there".

He hadn't quite worked out what his feelings for you were but he couldn't be in love with you. If he'd had the perfect girl this entire time and had ruined it all...well it wouldn't bear thinking about but the guys wouldn't let it drop.

"But why would you feel guilty otherwise?" Suho asked "did you feel you'd led Y/n on or something? That she didn't know the arrangement". "No she knew" Baekhyun admitted "I guess I just felt guilty because I felt she had feelings for me and I'd hurt her". "Yeah but you and Seoyun were before you and Y/n" Kai said "I'm just surprised that your guilt would make you incapable of being with her". Sehun nodded "plus you said it was 2 weeks ago when you saw Y/n with Jin, why didn't you contact Seoyun when you saw Y/n had moved on". Baekhun paused as that thought honestly hadn't occurred to him. "I don't know I guess it was just kind of tainted after seeing Y/n". "So you no longer wanted to sleep with Seoyun once you saw Y/n?" Chen asked leaning forwards and Baekhyun nodded "yes!".

He saw the look on his members' faces and frowned "but why are you all looking at me like that?". "Nothing just...I don't think you feel bad for Y/n or if you do you shouldn't anymore. She's back with Jin and he's...a very good idol to date" Xuimin said. "What because he's rich? I have money too!" Baekhyun said. D.O. nodded "yeah but he has more and he's also more famous". Chanyeol nodded "and he's a really nice guy and good-looking". Baekhyun pouted "I guess he's good in some ways but it really depends on what you're into. We're too different to compare". The boys exchanged another look and Baekhyun sighed "what are all these secret looks for?". "We think you're jealous" Suho said and Baekhyun sighed "I'm not I just feel for Y/n". "Why she's got worldwide handsome in her bed" Sehun laughed. "Jin's not everything!" Baekhyun snapped "they haven't even talked in years! She's a different person from who she was back then and he had no idea about any of that! He doesn't know all the things she likes or all her habits. He doesn't know her! Not like I do" Baekhyun finished and D.O. nodded "there it is". "Did I just say like I do?" Baekhyun asked and Chen nodded "yeah...". Baekhyun sighed and put his head on the table.

After his conversation with the guys Baekhyun realised there might be more to this than he was letting on. Baekhyun hadn't wanted to face the horrible reality but when the guys started hyping Jin up it made Baekhyun irrationally angry and he knew there was more to this. He admitted he had developed feelings for you over the years. You'd spent a lot of time together and were there for him often...but were those feelings romantic? He'd always liked Seoyun but one of the main reasons he'd wanted to sleep with her was to prove to you and maybe even himself that the two of you weren't a thing. Because when he thought about dating you he was scared. The two of you were perfect on paper. Great chemistry, close friends, compatible personalities and very suited physically...if he couldn't make it work with you could he make it work with anyone? Baekhyun didn't want to find out so he pushed you away and sought a distraction but after seeing the hurt on your face he didn't want it. After the weeks of not seeing you he missed you and that had put things into perspective for him.

Meanwhile, you were pretty sure your friendship with Baekhyun was over and part of you thought it could be for the best. You'd never been honest with Baekhyun about what you wanted and your needs were never met. You'd hurt yourself and would've just kept hurting yourself so at least for better or worse that was over now. You'd been seeing friends besides Baekhyun more and surprisingly Jin was your main one. At first, the girls were worried this was a rebound but quickly realised it was just friendship and were pleased. Jin was a good influence and you eventually confessed everything to him.

Jin listened to your story with a sympathetic expression and rushed to validate all your feelings. He assured you things would get better and helped you realise you weren't pathetic or weak for liking Baekhyun. It also helped that he knew you well and from a romantic perspective. So you felt a lot better about what had happened and were starting to heal but Baekhyun was not.

Baekhyun could not stop thinking about you but he also couldn't work up the courage because he had no idea what to say. After apologising for everything he'd done, should he then admit his feelings for you and ask you to leave Jin for him? It was just so risky and he couldn't help the feeling he'd missed his chance with you...and he was scared to ask because then he'd know for definite if he had or not. He knew with each day he left it the worse it got but he seemed incapable of doing anything else.

He'd largely been avoiding the outside world and so hadn't been going to any parties or events but he had to go to some for work and that's where he saw Jin. He was quite literally the last person Baekhyun wanted to see but Baekhyun had agreed to talk in their interview and he needed a mic. Jin was waiting for his own mic and the woman disappeared to go find them both one leaving the two boys alone. Things were very awkward and there was a thick tension in the air. It was so uncomfortable Baekhyun figured he should get something out of it and so he asked something he'd been dying to ask.

"How's Y/n?" Baekhyun asked and Jin stiffened "I think you should ask her if you're worried about her" and went to walk away but Baekhyun wasn't having that. "Really? You can't even tell me she's fine?". Jin shrugged "I just think you should ask her if you care". "Of course I care about her!" Baekhyun cried "just because you're back together doesn't erase the fact I've been there since you broke her heart! You don't get to come back and act superior". Jin paused "back together? Y/n and I aren't back together". "But I saw you at our restaurant together" Baekhyun said and Jin paused before figuring out what Baekhyun must've meant. "We were just getting food, we're not together" and Baekhyun froze "you're not?". "No, we've rekindled our friendship but that's all...see someone else broke her heart this time" Jin said and walked away leaving Baekhyun very shocked and then Jin's words hit him. He'd broken your heart.

Baekhyun burst into the dressing room and looked around the room "where's my coat?" he asked "I put it right there". "What?" Sehun asked and Baekhyun sighed "my coat! Where is it?". "Calm down the staff hung it up" Chanyeol said and Baekhyun rushed to the rack and pulled in off its hanger. "Where are you going we're on stage in 30" Suho said. "I have to go find Y/n" Baekhyun said "she's not dating JIn, I got it all wrong but I did hurt her. I hurt her bad and I have to find her" Baekhyun said shaking as he spoke. "Okay calm down" D.O. said "you can't drive anywhere like this". "Well I'll run then!" Baekhyun said "the point is I have to get here and I can't sing a stupid song about love when I hurt the girl who showed me the most love!". "Look I know you're upset but why not just do the performance and then go?" Xiumin asked. Suho saw the look on Baekhyun's face though and shook his head "I'll get you out of here but you're not driving, you'll get yourself killed. We'll get you a car". Baekhyun rushed to Suho "thank you hyung!" and Suho nodded "come on".

10 minutes later Baekhyun was in a car on his way to yours. He gave the driver extra money to get there quicker and he got to yours in record time. He hopped out of the car before the taxi had even properly stopped and raced to your front door. He pounded on it and it was quickly opened by Irene. "You" she said and he nodded "I know you all hate me and you're so justified but please let me speak to Y/n for just five minutes". "You can't" Irene said and Baekhyun sighed "look I never meant to hurt her. I never realised I was in love with her but I do now and I need to make it right so please Irene let me in!" he cried. "No you don't get it" Irene started but Baekhyun cut her off "no you don't get it..." when she stuck her hand over his mouth "Y/n isn't here!" she yelled. "What?" Baekhyun asked, his voice muffled by her hand. Irene removed it and sighed "she's at a bar downtown with some friends". "Which bar?" Baekhyun asked "the Yellow Deer" Irene said and Baekhyun was off. He managed to stop the taxi just as it was heading back by jumping onto it and waved to Irene thanking her. "New plan, head downtown!" he called to the driver and threw him another wad of money "in case I damaged your car...sorry".

15 minutes later Baekhyun was running down the pavement looking for the bar he knew he was around here somewhere. He'd nearly fallen over 5 times since getting out of the taxi and knew he should slow down but he couldn't, not when he was so close. Finally he saw the logo of yellow antlers and smiled before he saw you coming outside and heading to a taxi. "Y/n no! Wait" he yelled and ran full pelt at the taxi, stopping the door from closing with his arm which hurt. He was trying very hard not to swear when you saw him "Baekhyun". "Y/n...I need to talk to you" he said and you looked a him "but I...how did you know I was here". "I went to your house and Irene told me and then I came here but saw you leaving so I ran and broke my arm" he said "but none of that matter because I have to talk to you" he told you. "Are you drunk?" you asked and he shook his head "no I just can't lose you or hurt you anymore!" he cried and your friends looked at you unsure what to make of this newcomer. "Y/n do you want us to drive?" one of them asked and Baekhyun held his breath. You looked at all your friends and then shook your head "it's okay" and you got out of the car.

Baekhyun cheered and helped you out "Yn thank you so much, you honestly have no idea..." when you stopped him. "Baekhyun what is it you need to say?" and he nodded "right of course well..." and then realised he had not prepared what he was going to say to you. All he knew was when Jin revealed everything he knew he had to come to you but now he was here how did he explain it all. "I erm...Y/n I'm so sorry" he burst figuring that was a good place to start "I've messed everything up between us and it's all my fault". You blinked "I...what do you mean". "I don't even know where to begin" Baekhyun said "for years I never defined what we were, I went off to the military without giving you an idea about what we were and then with Seoyun...I'm so sorry Y/n I never wanted you to find out like that". You shrugged looking down "it's okay, I know she'll always be the love of my life". "No!" Baekhyun said "I mean maybe she was one day but she isn't any more. After you came I couldn't carry on with her and we didn't sleep together". "You didn't?" you asked and Baekhyun shook his head "I couldn't because of you...but I didn't get what that meant. What all the feelings I had were or why I felt so guilty...all I knew was I felt sick every time I thought of discussing it with you and so I avoided the situation. Then things grew, I saw you at a restaurant with Jin, the guys kept asking where you were and still I had no idea why I was so torn up. I know you're my best friend and I'd hurt you but it was more than that. Then I saw Jin today and he told me you weren't together and that I broke your heart and it...broke mine" Baekhyun admitted "because I'm in love with you Y/n and I'd fought it for so long because of how much of an idiot I was! I had the perfect girl loving me for years and did nothing but push you away. I didn't want to admit how close I'd come to perfection but that's not even the worst part...I was with you years ago when Jin broke your heart and I swore I would never let another guy hurt you but I did the same thing just much worse and I will never be able to forgive myself Y/n but I promise from the bottom of my heart I am so so sooo sorry" he said and then he took a deep breath.

You stared at him because that was a lot of information to take in at once but one thing was standing out. "You're in love with me?" you asked unsure and Baekhyun nodded. "I am" he nodded "I think I'd always known deep down but I never admitted it because I was scared. You're my best friend Y/n and I figured if I can't make it work with you than there's something really wrong with me...but that's still no excuse for what I did and if you give me a chance I swear I will make it up to you". You blinked "but what are you proposing we do, go back to how things were?". "No" Baekhyun said "I mean unless you want to but the idea of you with another guy drives me crazy and I'd want to be all yours...if you'd have me". "But what about Seoyun?" you asked "why did you even go for her, you'd always said you'd never go back there". Baekhyun nodded "honestly I was confused and vulnerable. I knew I had feelings for you but didn't want to acknowledge them and I saw Seoyun and thought maybe if I slept with her it'd...I don't know, erase everything I felt for you and put you off me but I couldn't go through with it". "So you did it to hurt me?" you asked in a pained tone that made Baekhyun so angry at himself.

He took a breath and looked down "I didn't want to hurt you but I did...I hurt you with my actions and there's no explaining that". "So what's to stop you doing that again?" you asked "what if you feel vulnerable or sad again and need some way to throw off that steam. Will you hurt me again?". Baekhyun shook his head coming closer "I can't promise I will never ever hurt you again but I can promise you that after seeing you sad and hurt because of me I never want to do that again and will do everything in my power to stop that from happening. I know it's hard for you to trust me and it will take time but I'm happy to wait as long as you need to see I'm telling the truth". "But why do you want to be with me?" you asked "you haven't given a single reason, how do you know this isn't just you feeling guilty?". "Because it's not!" he said "Y/n I can name an infinite number of reasons as to why I want to be with you. You've always been there for me and have cared for me more than family. I know I can always turn to you and out of all my friends, you were there waiting for me after my military enlistment, you wrote to me and replied to my letters, you got me through it but that's enough about what you've done for me, it's also about how you make me feel. I feel like I can be myself around you, you're one of the few people I can say that about and even when I'm at my lowest you make me feel normal. You make the world feel brighter and I feel like everything will be okay with you around. You're the funniest, kindest person I've ever met and I've always been attracted to you. That's why I suggested we sleep together that night...because I'd always wanted to and every night with you was so good" he sighed "Y/n you're the perfect girl. You're smart, caring, gorgeous, strong and know me better than anyone else but I love you because you're you" Baekhyun told you.

Baekhyun realised he was stood pretty close to you but didn't want to back away. He wanted you to see right into his eyes and see he meant every word. "If there's anything I can say or do to convince you..." he trailed off and you looked at him. You gently raised a hand to his cheek and focused on his face. Baekhyun stared back at you hoping you could see everything in him. "Y/n..." he started but you shushed him. You were quiet for a few seconds before you looked at him "I believe you". Baekhyun was so shocked that he thought he misheard you. "What?" he asked. "I said I believe you" you said again "and I'll take you if you're still offering". "Yes yes a thousand times yes!" Baekhyun cried kissing you.

When you pulled away Baekhyun realised you were crying and frowned. He quickly wiped away your tears and held your face in his hands "Y/n...what's wrong?". "Nothing just...you've never kissed me like that and that's how I know you mean it". Baekhyun shook his head "well I'm going to carry on kissing you like this forever".

Baekhyun lived up to his promise.

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