#L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;;

[nyota-sungura]

Updated List!! 

Bios currently finished 35/35, to be updated as I finish more. 

Hiraeth | Shiro | Sebastian | Bro | Abbigail | Bambi | Kyoya | Dwicky | Cora | Felix | Hades | Alphie | Ollie | Poppie | Sammie | Lucie | Kurama | BD | Koko | Nelliel | Raven | Nemo | Maka | Dakota | Charlie | Zeru | Emogene | Bluejay | Nyx | Ren | Dominic | Reeves | Seirios | Iso | Google 

Reminder: These bios are currently located on my theme bagel, meaning this is not the new bagel. I’ll post that when it’s done.

#OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;;

[iliyovunjika]

Alright, because I’ve gotten several messages of varying types on the same subject: I’ll elaborate here in this PSA. Forewarning, its a bit long. 

Y’all, I get it. I’ve basically disappeared off the map multiple times and haven’t done any writing during that time publicly. However, let me elaborate on why that is and why these little “You’re a disappointment to writing” anons (Y’all don’t even deserve the title nonny you pricks) aren’t going to help me any. Now, not all of them have been that way and I’m appreciative for the concern. So thanks for that, lovelies. 

Why that shit isn’t okay: 

Uh, ‘cause its fucking not? I shouldn’t have to explain why guilt tripping and otherwise debasing statements aren’t okay to say to someone in any light. Don’t be a dick. It’s that simple. A literal child has a sense of right and wrong and would at least apologize if they do something wrong and are taught not to but your happy ass is gallivanting about like that shit ain’t even an iota of wrong in the most basic of ways.

Reasons its taking me forever to get the new bagel up: 

I’m reorganizing and rewriting four separate collections of 6+ years worth of information. These characters have been active for over six years and have developed as much in that time. Reorganizing and revamping that huge amount of information is basically like writing an actual biography, I’ve removed more information than I’ve written so I don’t end up putting up a book’s worth of information on their bios alone. So of course they’re going to take the longest.

I’m going into more detail on certain aspects that require a lot of research and development, and I don’t mean story writing, I mean research on real life things that are extremely complex and are in my field of enjoyment. Aka, biomedical engineering in bionics and prosthesis. This takes time and patience because some things don’t work while other things do and because of that, you need to redo the whole thing at times in order to make it work. It can be frustrating.

There’s 33+ muses to reorganize. No one said making a multi-muse was easy. I constantly say that they’re easier to manage but I’m always very clear on the fact that they take a while to start up because of how much you need to do at first to get them up. Depending on how you do it, it can be relatively easy. It only took me a few weeks to simply move muses before but this isn’t that. I’m not simply plugging information, I’m redoing almost all of it. Not to mention there’s the fact that I have to organize everything so it isn’t overwhelming for the average person. I don’t want someone looking at my bagel and going “Oh fuck, that’s a lot.” Y’know? 

Iconing takes up a quarter of the time spent. I’m already done with this portion but there’s also the fact that some of my muses have designs that no character I’m aware of have, and believe me I searched relentlessly-- so I need to still edit these icons. Of course I’m aware that you don’t need icons to write, but I like to have them because for me, they provide another level of impact thanks to visualization. Plus, it’s cathartic as fuck to edit icons for me and after the stress of redoing everything else, I’ll need that. 

Coding and finding the perfect setup for a multi-muse can be just as hard as reorganizing information that’s years old. Why? Because it isn’t just providing a verse, bio, navigation and rules page. Like I said, depending on how you do it, it can be simple or difficult. Let me put it like this: I’ll have 33+ individual pages to make and I’ve already made the skeleton base code for all of them. The Navigation and Mini Muse navigation are included in the theme’s coding. Rules have been reworked. Making sure the font style and size are legible for all users is important to me too so I spent a week on that alone. Making sure the colours aren’t hard on the eyes and everything else. It takes time. 

Depression is a fucking bitch. 3 months of the 4 that I’ve been working on this have been spent in a depressive haze where I couldn’t focus or get anything done. So yeah, all the work above that I’ve already done? I’ve done in less than a month’s time. Its not that I don’t want to have my general coping mechanisms back and y’know, actually be delighted again and writing-- its that I physically could not even open my laptop for three months and spent them feeling extremely guilty for not being able to-- there in making shit worse. 

This. Can. Be. Overwhelming. All this work, information, coding, organizing can be extremely overwhelming at times. I got 40+ drafts on my brain on top of all this too so yeah; forgive me for being a bit overwhelmed every now and then by the pure gravity of this. I’m allowed to take a break, godsdamned. 

"Why don’t you just write bios after you get the bagel up and going?” I’ve thought of it, but I also thought that it takes me longer to do that than it would to just write it all at once. I’ll be too excited and happy about writing again to actually focus on writing bios and coding. It’d be a mess. I appreciate the polite inquiry though, thank you. 

“Why do all this instead of just coming back to your bagels?” Because I was gone so long and so depressed that I need a fresh start. Everything is stagnant and I feel like this is more so a job than for fun and that is not okay to me. I love writing, I want to get back to where I love it. Not where I feel like I have to do it. Starting fresh? Reorganizing all this information? It’s so much better for me in the end. 

I’m working on it. Let me go at my own pace. Every time one of those shitty anons pops in, I get annoyed and don’t want to even entertain working on it all just to spite them. 

To those who are concerned that I’m a) not okay or b) not coming back: 

A: I’m fine now, no worries there. I just tend to go radio silent when I work on things extensively. You guys can still message me, y’know. I do check. 

B: I am, I promise. I wouldn’t be doing anything if I didn’t intend to. 

#OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;; #Psa; #Long post // #Q|ᵘᵉᵘᵉ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃ ᵠᵘᵃˢᵃʳ | ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʰᵒʷ ᵇʳᶤˡˡᶤᵃᶰᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ˢʰᶤᶰᵉ ;;

[mertensiaovum]

Update / Notice!!

So I’ve finally finished rounding off the skeleton code and everything for the bios and I need to know about one section in particular! (If you’d like to view her skeleton page on the temporary theme bagel, you can view it here!)

If you’d like to be put down on Rae’s “People I adore” list, then slam that like button! The only requirement is that your muse has to have interacted with her in the past!

#OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;;

[kotofvi]

Writing with me is basically summed up in one message: 

Me: REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU AS I POST THIS

#OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;;

[kotofvi]

Me adding characters now is basically just gonna be me being like SO HERE’S A NEW TRASH CAN-- UHHH, DON’T HAVE TIME OR ENERGY TO ADD THEM TO THE BAGEL PROPERLY  BUT THEY’RE THERE.

In short-- I’mma probably add a divergent Dabi to my bagel.

#OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;;

[kotofvi]

Me, finally having time to open my laptop and check shit. 

Me, 3 seconds into seeing my drafts: 

#I'm so sorry omfg #OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;;

[kotofvi]

Today’s Episode of: Never be like Leo!!

Me: Has a sunburn that resulted in blisters all over the side of my hand/finger/thumb/wrist.  Coworker: ARE YOU OKAY?!?!?! Me: No but look mate-- It’s only burned in the exact place where I hold the steering wheel-- I’M SO FUCKING WHITE I BURN INSIDE THE GODS DAMNED CAR MAN Coworker: Trying not to laugh IT’S A BAD THING!!! WHY AREN’T YOU MORE WORRIED?!?!  Me: ??? Th’ fuck ya mean “worried?” I can still move it?  Coworker: Do we need to talk about the difference between “Alright” and “Not alright”? 

#I'm really alright-- it doesn't hurt or anything just itches #BUT I FOUND THIS HILARIOUS #OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;;

[kotofvi]

Me: I’ll stay awake until this reply Me, 5 minutes later: Passes the fuck out for an hour almost. 

W h o o p s 

#OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;;

[kotofvi]

Squints

I DO NOT TRUST THIS 

#OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;;

[kotofvi]

Squints. Tumblr got rid of my theme because it “detected suspicious code” like THE FUCK TUMBLR. 

#OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;;

[kotofvi]

Whoever wants a starter with this dumpster fire lemme know now, I only have Sundays off and I’m trying to get scheduled on the afternoons every so often so I can have more time to write too! But today is basically your day to actually get shit started with me! 

#OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;;

[kotofvi]

Alright, mcfuck it-- have a trash fire. 

#I have no regrets #OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;; #Dabi; #Dabi Selfies; #Dabi Tidbits;

[kotofvi]

Pictured:

Me, ruining Bee’s life with angst.  Also me, about to ruin Hinata’s day with a hungry fox.  Also me, again, about to ruin Toshiro’s day with an antelope hug.

#OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;;

[kotofvi]

So, little life update: 

Met a ringtailed lemur at work, his name is Ringo and I love him with all my heart and soul. Coworker who OD’d is doing way better, super proud of her. Might lose my job or at least the part of my job I enjoy doing over a ticket I could do nothing to avoid. (Was trying not to get hit by the lifted truck flying into my lane, no room in the other lane to move over to, didn’t matter to the asshole cop.) Sent my coworker off with a dick cake on his last day Friday. An absolute travesty, monster dick quality of a cake, truly horrid. Loved it.  Hugged all my coworkers that would enjoy a hug.  Mental breakdown. Almost tried to off myself Friday, chose to call my mother instead. Had three days off (I’m on day two now) Slept a lot yesterday.  Woke up doing better today. 

Reason I’m even posting this at all is because I’m, quite frankly, tired of people assuming I’m being cold/withdrawn when I’m simply not doing well. Please don’t assume I am being combative or otherwise cold to you when I don’t respond the way I normally would or don’t respond at all. I do not have the bandwidth right now and seriously, that’s alright. I’m not inhuman, I don’t purely exist in positivity mode no matter how much I want to or how much I try to, it doesn’t work that way. I am an actual human being, folks. I’m not going to always respond positively nor am I always going to exist to bring you happiness, there are going to be days where I do not have the energy nor capacity to do so and while that sucks because I genuinely enjoy making people happy; that’s just how it is.

#OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;; #Negative // #Suicide mention //

[kotofvi]

just me reading your natural disasters

Welcome to the show where both Dabi and I drink our felony roasted bitch juices out of the standard box variety and condemn ourselves to harmful mannerisms because we’re too stupid to wear sunscreen and/or not use hot fire.

#Someone other than me has to laugh at myself #otherwise I'm just out here actin' like a fool! #nvrcmplt #OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;;

[kotofvi]

@nvrcmplt:  the way i buy things; can i afford it, is this a want or need, is it going to make me happy if I do get it? / if you justify it like dat it makes buying this easier imo

That goes through my brain every time I buy something even something simple wheezes-- I gotta justify every purchase I make BUT BRUH LISTEN I’M CRYING RN OKAY-- The only reason I’m indecisive is ‘cause it’s equal parts terrifying as I am curious about it and my curiosity has outweighed my terror so I’m buying it. 

#It's a t o y and I'm too curious about it now #OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;;