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itsbuckysworld · 5 years

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HELLO SPRING DAY 15 + Bingo Entry: Scout Leader Bucky HC

Pairing: Bucky has a crush on Reader. she does too ngl. Warnings: fluffy and bucky + kids! Category: AU! Scout Leader!Bucky Word Count: N/A, this is a headcanon so i didn’t count. Bingo Square Filled: interacting with kids for my @star-spangled-bingo card! Guest Appearance: Steef Rawgers.

Troop Leader Bucky has a wonderful team of kids, in his eyes they always deserve a treat so he takes them to Y/N’s Sweets Shop, definitely not cause he’s crushing damn hard on the sweeter-than-her-own-products store owner

Day 15: "That’s it! We’re going for ice cream” for my Spring Short Story Writing Event + Bingo Square for my #StarSpangledBingo Card. HEADCANON.

there’s a cut cause it got quite long and i don’t want to disturb anyone’s timeline. please read it tho?

Scout leader Bucky.

He’s amazing with the kids

He insists since day one that they all call him Bucky instead of James or Mr. Barnes or anything else.

He plans the most amazing outings and tries to always get the team to work together.

He’s also great with the parents.

In fact he’s the reason most parents want their kids in his troop or the reason a lot of them even signed their kids up for scouts.

He insists on having all the parents’ numbers, makes a group chat with them and is always on top of activities and reminding them of games, trips and fundraisings.

It doesn’t hurt he’s extremely good looking - all the single moms melt whenever he calls them to ask if they can bake the brownies for the next event -

He looks great in uniform.

The kids adore him cause he’s funny and he listens to them and makes sure everyone is having a good time.

like that one time he fell in the lake? hilarious they never let him forget it. or that one time he got scared by a little lizard? iconic.

They think his metal arm is fucking dope and they love his stories when camping, whether they are made up or not because let’s face it he makes up the greatest stories.

He’s also a prankster and whenever a food war breaks out he looks angry for 10 seconds before grabbing a slice of cake and chucking it across the room to continue the fun and then gets in line with the kids and looks like a wet puppy when a higher rank leader finds out and they all get called out.

His troop specially loves the summer camps. They spend more time with their counselors and troop leaders, meet more kids and do cool stuff. Sometimes even science experiments – but only sometimes and when counselor Tony is there, cause Bucky won’t have a repeat of that time something exploded brown dust on his face: again, hilarious.

But this year ‘round, so far Bucky has taken the kids for ice cream thrice.

It’s friday and much like last week when the kids are finished with whatever outside activity, Bucky is checking everyone’s progress/finished assignments.

His hair is tied back in a neat bun that pops out of the open part in the back of his cap and his bandana is tied around his bicep.

He claps twice and blows his whistle once, getting everyone’s attention. “Great work guys, I feel like this calls for a treat” he’s asked the parents in the group chat for permission and they agreed.

And all the kids are exclaiming in joy.

“That’s it! We’re going for ice cream!” and even though this might not be news they are excited because the kids love ice cream and that’s not the only sugary treat they can get where bucky takes them

It’s this quaint little sweets shop located not very far so everybody buddy’s up and they practice the look three times before crossing the street when they walk there.

the decoration is cute and vibrant, and the kids love the thematic seats.

Inside they all line up to receive a scoop of ice cream, some opting for a small bag of cookies to switch it up, and he even makes sure any kid with allergies or intolerances gets a treat they can eat.

Gluten free cookies for Evan – Steve’s kid.

Vegan ice cream for Poppy

No peanuts for Ryan and Matt.

Its the reason he picked this sweets shop: they have options.

He also picked it because of the owner. You.

Your face lights up when he walks in with the kids, you’ve already memorised some of their names, and his face lights up when you add sprinkles to some of their treats per the kids requests.

He strikes up a conversation with you each time, as the kids all fill the booths and the two of you look over them, wiping messy chins, placing napkins to avoid stains on uniforms, and picking up fallen spoons, exchanging them for clean ones.

You also give him a discount, after all he brings in so many customers. He always refuses but you don’t take a no for an answer.

They don’t leave until the very last kid is done with their treat. Making the most of each second he gets to talk to you.

Since he discovered your little shop he’s come here alone a few times and with his troop four times, and he always makes you giggle with his jokes and blush with his words.

You hate saying goodbye to him but he promises they’ll come back, after all the kids love her treats, and so does he. You also bravely admit you love his company and his face gets so red. It’s adorable.

There’s a chorus of “Bye Ms. Y/N thank you for the food” as the kids file out and Bucky’s giving you one last wave goodbye and a wink promising to see come by tomorrow.

He’s going to gain like 100 pounds if he keeps coming to see you but he doesn’t care.

When they day’s over, he catches a ride home with Steve, his best friend, when he picks up Evan, who’s munching on a cookie he saved.

“How was your day with Uncle Buck and your friends today?”

“Good! We went for treats again!”

“Again? Uncle Bucky is spoiling you guys”

“They are marvelous, so they deserve a treat” Bucky argues back.

“I think Uncly Bucky takes us there so he can see Miss Y/N” Evan says innocently, causing Bucky to turn bright red and turn so fast to look at Evan in the backseat it almost gives him whiplash.

“Miss Y/N huh?” Steve is mocking and Bucky glares at him.

“Is she your girlfriend?” Evan continues.

“S-She’s not” Bucky coughs “yet” he whispers, wishing he can someday say you are, and looks back at Evan with a fake menacing glare “and someone is about to lose their loyalty badge”

“BUCKY AND MISS Y/N SITTING ON A TREE!” Evan chants all the way home, with Steve joining in with the “K-I-S-S-I-N-G” as Bucky sinks down on the seat laughing embarrassedly.

this was written very quickly so im sorry its bad and sorry if there’s any mistakes.

feedback is greatly appreciated and encouraged. Even if it’s just something in the tags, please i beg you, if u read this tell me what u thought, send me an ask, a reply, a dm, whatever.

#star spangled bingo #starspangledbingo #ibw: hello spring 2019 #ibwhellospringday15 #bucky barnes x reader #fluff #au #bucky barnes + kids #dad!bucky #interacting with kids #bingo square

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scoundrels-in-love · 6 years

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For the OC ask game: 3, 10, 11, 18, 21, 36, 42 and 45. You can answer about any OC, but you know I love my boy Awan.

This only took me like a week or more. I’m so sorry. I am going to answer this for your boy Awan + Another OC in shorter way, if I have someone that this question applies to vividly.

Under cut cause long af.

Ask me OC asks 1 or 2? (But specify which one, if you do? :D)

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?Awan has no complaints, really. His parents were busy and out of house, even village, for most of the time, providing for him and his siblings, but when they were home, they’d always listen to him and find time for him, the best they could. Even if they couldn’t quite believe his incredulous stories of things he has seen or experienced on his small adventures. But no adult really did. His father taught him a lot about fishing, the ocean, general survival and encouraged him to pursue what he wanted, sensibly. Even after Awan left with the lions, he’d return from time to time, always to be greeted warmly and sent off with loving, encouraging worry. His father is long gone now and Awan holds nostalgic warmth for him and his childhood, for the most part.

Leila adored and idolized her parents, really. With all her child’s heart. Losing them really did a number on her, psychologically. Over time, she grew to temporarily resent them, father in particular, and in some ways she still has not made up with him in her mind. She might, she might not. Even if she does, she realizes he was far from flawless and eternally wise (or kind) as she pictured in her early years.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?Awan used to love to run around part undressed, playing on the ocean shore. Even when he would have to dress more warmly due to weather or little expeditions into the woods or the mountains, he’d love to stay barefoot. That is one thing that hasn’t changed - he really loves walking barefooted in nature, to dig his toes in the sand and feel little waves lap at his feet. But overall, he is definitely more on the ‘let’s bundle up’ type now. Good part because being around the lions is constant drain on his energy and he is more prone to feeling cold.

I8a feels fine either way. She does not feel cold or hot easily, regulating her body temperature and the fabrics of her clothes work similarly as well. She is more about how things look and feel. Patterns, design, fabrics. She could go all out in huge dress or skintight bodysuit with cleavage for days. Or bikini. The concept of more skin/showing off curves = sexy does not register with her, because ‘sexiness’ does not mean anything to her, other than a criteria that humans use. This has sent the wrong signals and gotten the wrong attention and later on, she knows how to ‘control’ her appearance to suit missions, but it’s just a purposely learned behavior.

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

This is a good question for Awan. I’ve actually not considered this. I feel like his biggest fear moment is yet to come, but in the past? Possibly ending up in a small rockslide when he was 7 or 8 in the mountains. He got really lucky then, getting only broken ankle and whole lot of bruises and scratches, but the fear was great, so was impact of his parents’ worries and he has become a lot more observant/cautious about his surroundings since then. Even known ones, because you never know what small change has transpired to change everything.

For Ryan, I think it was the moment he realized he’s probably going to legit lose his arm and eventually life. He was stuck in apathy and depression loop for a long time, he’s still not out of it (in some ways it has even worsened), but the pain was getting way too much and survival instincts kicked in... Except there wasn’t much of anywhere to turn to help. So he went to some place that turned him into a test bunny in ways that weren’t comforting or fear-soothing in itself. He was rightfully afraid for his life, also at their hands. And in some ways, that fear and hate hasn’t gone away and he’s always internally snarling and baring teeth at them like a dog backed in corner. Looking for a way out that would hopefully also give him a way to tear a chunk out of their shins.

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Awan would definitely pick wisdom. Ambition without wisdom can be borderline greed - because if you don’t pick what you want wisely, it can be quite dangerous. And so can be the ways you go for it. Ambition is good, but it can’t be the sole thing driving you, it can’t ride on itself alone.

Awkward moment when all characters I’ve spoken more about would more or less agree with this viewpoint. I mean, both Leila and Elinor would strongly be like, sometimes you gotta just drive forward and Elinor might appreciate wisely guided ambition but she is definitely impulsive as heck. So, yes, this was sort of meta question for me, lol.

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Awan definitely feels like he has caused it in some way. With great power comes great responsibility and feeling like you could’ve prevented it. You had to foresee. In fact, he may end up feeling guilty for things that weren’t even connected to him at times, especially in the initial period of living with the lions. Time has dulled this, he can outweigh what was in his control, what was his responsibility, and what was not. But the mindset is there.

Elinor is a mix of two. Honestly, deep down she’s definitely ‘I’m guilty for everything’ type, but it’s not in her nature to reveal that to many people, if any at all. Not to the very bitter dredges, anyway. So, she can and will blame other people, often rightfully, call them out on their bullshit and what they did wrong. She can be petty and bitter and downright cruel and then deal with original guilt + guilt that stems from issues she caused with this reaction via drink (tho this is more of her pirate!self method) or putting herself in harm’s way, starting bar fight’s etc. Being generally reckless, bordering physically abusive to her own body.

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Awan... is reserved with his emotions. For the most part. But just as you will know that he is warming up to you, you will probably feel the cold shoulder, the stare that goes deep into you, trying to sort you out, the absence of laughter sparkle or smile. Serious Awan to the max, not inclined to do any favors to you/help you specifically. Not going to get a card reading from him, for sure.

And, well, if Awan doesn’t like you, you will probably have one very grumpy black lion showing his dislike in every way, from petty things like tripping you to downright slowly tearing down you as a person and all that you love. Though, unless you’re truly a villain (and even then), Awan will try to rein that in.

If Elinor doesn’t like you, you’ll know. She’s snarky, argumentative and at times, down right rude to people as is, and if you have earned her dislike from her, she will not be afraid to fight you, physically even. Especially if you’re forced to interact. Otherwise, she might resort to just ignoring you and rebuking you with some snark. Now, there’s the fact that some people that she does treasure get pretty similar treatment, since they do irritate her as well... But they can tell the difference. Or so they say and she just rolls her eyes.

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

I would say the lions, but it is more a sibling dynamic with Awan, especially with Achan. Meira can be sort of kind but overbearing mother, but she also listens to him deeply, so, again perhaps more of older sister that wants to mother him, but understand he’s an adult with important insight. Other important familial figures also fall into the vein of sibling, instead of parents.

Leila did have someone, but she was abusive and cruel (while having best intentions for Leila) and died at the girl’s hands. It was the natural order of things, though, just the ‘madame’ did not expect the day to come so soon. Leila bears many physical and mental scars that still ache, given by this person. And lives in mild fear that if she was ever in position of being parental figure to anyone, she would hand this side of her experience down more than the fading memory of her biological parent’s love. (Mostly groundless fear, but that is what I know.)

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Awan knows with certainty that you do not cease to exist when your physical body dies, that there is spirit and soul and the concept of heaven and hell the Outside World has is very tilted and not true. He knows some come back and cycle through lives, but also that not all do or wish to. He is at peace with what will happen to him after he dies. He is, however, not at peace with thought of the chaos his death will bring to the world, or idea of leaving something or someone hurt/unaccomplished.

In fact, most characters I’ve spoken of, again, fall in this same vein. No matter if they believe in something after they die or not, they’re okay with the concept of it and their bigger fear is failing to do something in their lives. Such as Elek. I8a knows she will join a higher consciousness, essentially. Ryan doesn’t think there’s anything and that’s essentially sort of relief just as much shitty feeling as this entire existence is. Genie believes death is just transformation, an inevitable part of nature. A change. And so on.

Now, Elinor.... Is an outlier, because she is someone from religious background, but was also forced to act out against the very basis of it, from early childhood and has grown to feel both like sinner and beast that somehow god has permitted to be. This has steeped her in resentment, for god, for herself. Over the years, she’s learned of great many other religions and basically goes like ‘Oh, so there’s all these conflicting concepts? Well then who can fucking knows which one is true and I guess I will find out after. Don’t plan on dying soon anyway.’ But, deep down, a certain unease remains, for sure. She does feel like she will be judged, for who she is and what she has done, just as she is in this life, just tells herself she won’t give a damn, just as she does not now. (She does, though, but shhh.)

#ask games answered #FINALLY #my ocs #awan #leila #ryan #elinor #i8a #ended up favoring some but for others the answers were.... a bit too much alike to Awan's #gffgthjh #overall they're ofc different but #bienchanter #sent on a cloud

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carraville · 6 years

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year in fic review (2017)

using the wonderful @neyvenger ‘s template! everyone should do this i wanna read <3

Year at a glance: Total number of completed stories: 25 (26 if u count hockey) Total word count: 146929

Overall Thoughts:

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? LOTS MORE it’s probly bc i wrote a hella lot while jumping from train to train traveling all of Europe, and probly bc i gave up on school by mid-sem last year, and probly bc the only thing i can do at work that looks like i’m still doing work when i’m not is write

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? The fuCKING GERMS i blame it on germs like i 100% would never have thought i’d write 16k of thomasfips who does that also joemilly??? but i luff

What’s your own favorite story of the year? i dont have one i love and hate them all equally... i guess strangeways here we come just bc i took so damn long to write it and tbf i didn’t write a lot of carraville this year so it was kind of like my One and Only

Did you take any writing risks this year?

writing a lot of people I didn’t know how to write, writing about a lot of Big Things (particularly on the bridge between starshine and clay) that i wasn’t sure about, writing a lot of aus i’d never done before, writing ??? PORN???? even tho ive never banged anyone in my life

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? all 12 months of football prompts! hopefully! and writing more new ships and meeting more people and reading good fic also finally doing all my historical aus bc if there’s one thing i’ve learnt this year, it’s not to give a shit what other people want and just write what u want even if no one is going to read it xoxo

From my past year of writing, what was…

My best story of this year: from a writing perspective i think an die nachgeborenen just bc it was the most? complete, i guess? and plotty? like if i changed the names and pretended it wasn’t creepy i could probably send it for rejection

My most popular story of this year: strangeways, here we come i guess cos i published it around that time the r*dditors were sneaking around lmao

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: the wonder of my world cos it’s niche and manc but!!!!!!! i love my mancs

Most fun story to write: fuckin. 30 Shades Of Red

Story with the single sexiest moment: The Anonymous Present That Appeared For Sab’s Birthday That Doesn’t Exist

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: Again, The Anonymous Present that Doesn’t Exist

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: I’m pretty set when it comes to characters, I guess, because I only like writing when I understand them, but maybe Aubade bc I’d never written Iker till then and I really liked how it turned out

Hardest story to write: summer sang in me a little while bc it was a) wrestling with a Lot of Football feelings that I didn’t know how to talk about, b) wresting with trashbag xabi alonso and what I thought of him vs. what other people thought of him, c) writing ships and people I had 0 idea about

Biggest surprise: i like germs! wtf

Highlights + Wrap-up: ok I TRIED TO PICK DIFFERENT ONES FROM ALL FIC

Favorite Opening Lines (3):

when the world was ours

There's a crunch. There's a crunch and it's over.

the setting sun is sweetest last

When all the hands have been shaken and hugs exchanged someone presses a microphone into his hands and he fumbles, not quite sure how to put what he's feeling into words. Eventually he settles for something about looking towards the final on Saturday and he sees David from the corner of his eye shaking his head, almost as if to say: god, Gaz, how do you manage to make everything about United when this should be about you.

In the end, it's simple.

cheesed to meet you

Philipp calls Thomas first, because he always calls Thomas first.

"I didn't do it," Thomas says immediately, with the kind of well-practiced plausibility that only comes from doing the things he says he hasn't done.

Favorite Closing Lines (4):

yes, yes, we are magicians

You jog back to the halfway line. Your face must be shining under the lights, and you wonder if mum's in the crowd, smiling. Let's go to Wembley some day. Rooney rolls the ball to you and you're off again, no marcus's ball scribbled into the patchy leather, no divots and pot-holes in a sandy, well-worn pitch.

You're nineteen years old and going to the Euros.

Every blade of grass here is the exact same height.

in this story we belong to ourselves

Liverpool is. A river that runs before two men who used to have numbers on their backs and now have a house no longer empty. A stream of memories and breaking apart and going again. The Mersey, quiet, grey, flowing gently through the Narrows and out into the great big sea, ever so slightly out of reach.

Variation IX

He says I've missed you, mate.

I say You know, I thought you might.

He says I hope you missed me too.

I say Well of course, otherwise where would I go for Christmas this year?

And then he starts laughing and I start laughing and we laugh and laugh and don’t stop until he kisses me again.

yes, there will be song

You step back and turn, take the steps two at a time. Somewhere outside Anfield there's a man with a shirt that's as as red as the names on the back. He's got a scarf around his neck like a docker, and he presses his face to the Shankly gates like he's kissing a trophy. Make us dream, he whispers, a secret he's never told anyone else, his heart heavy and his eyes tired but his body trembling with a belief too full for words. Above him, the sky is golden.

Favorite Lines From Anywhere (5):

strangeways, here we come

It's weak against Paraguay, it's tired against Paraguay, but the England fans are singing and they have to listen. Countries are not clubs. This sinks deeper than loyalty, at once more insular and more ubiquitous than Liverpool or United could ever be. There are little flags hung up in Sainsbury's, strangers with their arms round each other in pubs, the radios of an electronics store tuned in to Radio 5 Live. Come on England. Bandied about like a mantra, a swear word, a secret password offered by old hands who brace themselves for more disappointment with a nudge and a wink. England always - a host of words go here, crash out , fuck up , lose , but -

Believe rises above them all. Maybe it's delusional. Maybe it's arrogant. Beckham takes a free kick that delights and astonishes the way his free kicks do and it ends up in the back of the net. Every four years St George goes back up and people who still remember '66 are bought a pint, and for every we'll go out at the group stages there's an underlying thread of god help me, we might win this yet, because what is hope if not alive?

Come on England. The cup awaits you and is yours.

sekrit yuletide fic

In his dreams he doesn't leave. Salvador Iglesias Sr. doesn't die and Chava doesn't become a dickhead. He keeps the number on his back and the band around his arm. He doesn't cheat on Ximena, but he tells her, and they part as best friends. In his dreams they win the championship. And again the next year, and again the one after that. Each time Potro scores the winning goal and Moi runs to him to celebrate and Potro kisses him for the whole world to see, over and over, until their lips are numb and all they know are themselves.

summer sang in me a little while

Why are you still here? you ask him. It is easier that way. He turns to you, dark circles under his eyes, and doesn't reply. Only reaches over to tangle his calloused fingers in your hair, rests his forehead against yours. This time you are the one who leans forward to kiss him, immersing yourself in the warmth of his skin. You taste his blood. You taste the salt and iron of his blood.

the wonder of my world

What makes a club? Love, belief, hope - and someone to attach it to, the player everyone grows up watching, whose name is instantly recognisable to the point that you don't have to mention who he plays for next. Who pours his soul into the game and hammers his heart onto the crest. You don't get that kind of player very often. United were lucky to have three.

So here. The last musketeer. He's not looking at the crowd anymore, just the middle distance. Still the thousands sing. Love, belief, hope, and memories. Ryan might never run again but Paul realises that it doesn't matter. It's that he's already run. And in a hundred years from now someone might pull up a grainy youtube video and watch the number eleven on the left wing and fall in love, all over again. The way he was meant to be loved. Ball at his feet. Red.

an die nachgeborenen

"I don't need a plan," Thomas says, like he's talking to a child. "That's the beauty of it. All I have to do is wait and see what happens. It's only – " he smiles again, wan, quiet. "Well. You know."

The refrain arcs, jagged, through Philipp's head.

"I promised you wouldn't die."

"I won't." Thomas stands up, leaves a hand on Philipp's shoulder. His palm is still warm. "I'm invincible, didn't I tell you?"

And with a single, chipper whistling note, he hits the exit button and slips out, the door closing immediately behind him with a gentle click .

Fic Goals for 2018:

i wna write gifts that people will like :> aka MORE NICHE BULLSHIT

#my fic #self indulgent trash xoxo

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sathtrash · 7 years

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Hey guess who's totally predictable and crawling out of the Trevor trashcan for more Trevor content it's me💚 maybe "sorry I woke you up" with some Mama Jack thrown in?

I mean for one, God bless your consistency with coming into my inbox and just kinda going ‘TREVOR THO’ and like throwing sparkles and then leaving when I ask for prompts, and two, coming right up dude!

Trevor woke up to the sound of pacing down the hall in the library, or maybe it was Geoff’s office, they were right next to each other so you could never be sure which was occupied. Unless, of course, the noises that you heard were the general sounds of Geoff being frustrated, then it was always the office. Trevor stood from his bed and half tip-toed down the hall to find the door to the library slightly ajar, instead of open as it usually was.

His first reaction when he pushed open the door was confusion. On the other side of the library door was Jack, pacing and talking to herself in a hushed voice, her hair was thrown up into a bun with very little care to the state of it, and she was wrapped up in her soft looking floral bathrobe, she was gesturing slight to herself and looked somewhat upset, an emotion Trevor had rarely seen on her in his short time with the crew.

“Jack?” he said, softly at first, when Jack didn’t react he repeated himself, slightly louder this time, and she turned to face him, looking confused.

“Oh, Trevor” she said, smoothing her hands over her hair “I’m sorry I woke you up, I didn’t realize I was being loud” she looked worried and a bit overwhelmed, and Trevor couldn’t help but feel that he had interrupted some sort of panic induced breakdown or something.

“Oh no, it’s fine” he said, taking a step into the room “You weren’t loud at all, my room’s just close I could hear the floor creaking” he said “Is everything okay?”

“Oh, it’s alright, I don’t want to bother you with this Trevor, I’m fine” she said, sounding flustered.

“No, really, are you okay Jack? You seem strung out, do you want some tea or something? I can go make tea” Jack gave him a small smile and nodded a bit.

“That would be nice Trevor, thank you” she said softly. Trevor left the room and padded down the hall to the kitchen at the opposite end, and put the kettle on. Jack was usually so composed it was strangely jarring to see her so out of sorts. He wondered what it was that was causing her distress.

When the water had boiled he filled two mugs and dropped in herbal tea bags, and took everything back to the library. When he returned Jack had taken up a seat by the window, even though she wasn’t pacing anymore her leg jiggled under the small table. Trevor set the mugs down and sat across from her.

“So what’s going on Jack?” he asked, stirring his spoon around in his mug.

“You know Trevor, it’s my job to worry about you kids, not yours to worry about me” she said, leaning back a little in her chair.

“Well I’m up so you may as well talk it out, might help whatever it is” he said, shrugging a bit.

“Well” she sighed, taking a sip of her tea “You kids have all been in different situations before this, and sometimes I get so nervous about what might happen to you all if something happened to Geoff and myself, it isn’t usually so bad, but Geoff and I need to go out of town for a deal with another crew, and I can’t stop worrying about you kids” she said, sighing heavily, she put her face in her hands, pushing her glasses up to her forehead and pressing lightly at her temples with her thumbs. “I’m sorry Trevor, you didn’t need this from me” she said quietly.

“It’s alright, I mean I asked” he took a sip of his own tea and shrugged a bit “You know you don’t have anything o worry about right? I mean with Ryan in the house we’re about as safe as we could possibly be, right?” Trevor gave her a little smile and reached over to pat her forea arm lightly/

“Oh I know Ryan would never let anything happen to you, but that doesn’t make me any less worried” she shook her head and sighed “I’m always nervous when we have to leave you boys” she said.

“There’s no need to worry Jack, we’ll all be fine” he reassured her she just smiled at him and shook her head.

“I know, you always are whenever Geoff and I go away, but that doesn’t make me any less nervous”

“Well, than the important thing is to just dive in head first and stop worrying about us for the night”

“How do you suggest that?” she raised an eyebrow at him, looking a bit skeptical.

“Finish your tea, get a book, and read until your can’t keep your eyes open, that’s what I do whenever I can’t sleep” Trevor gaver her a small smile and shrugged slightly “Might just work”

“It’s worth a try” she said. They sat in silence for awhile, drinking their tea, when they stood, leaving their mugs on the table, and they left to go back to bed.

“Thank you for coming to sit with me Trevor” Jack said softly as they left “I really appreciate the company”

“It wasn’t a problem, trust me when I say I’m glad you work me up” he leaned down a bit and kissed the top of her head, smiling.

“Still, thank you” she said, patting his arm gently. “Goodnight Trevor”

“Goodnight Jack”

#fahc #mama jack #wonderfullywicked #Kat Replies to People

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actually-impostor · 7 years

Note

Could you do a fluffy Moxiety fic, where they're best friends who have fallen for each other? I'm kind of a sucker of classic prompts. Please don't hurt yourself and take your time.

Im a suckerfor classic prompts too my friend, and thanks! My wrist is way better latelyso!! I finally have time to finish this prompt!Don’t be tricked by the title, the fanfic is like G in rating. Also, this is aHuman AU

My best friend’s hot

Moxiety

Warnings: dorks crushing on each other,self-doubt, nothing else.

This is longer than i expected! Hope you like it and im sorry for the wait!

-0-0-0-0-

“He’s justso cute Logan!”

“Yes, you’vebeen saying that since we were 15, why haven’t you made a move yet?”

“Because!”

“That’s notan answer”

“He’s cute, how am I even going to tell him I’vebeen crushing on him for years? We, as a group, still have sleepovers and Angeland I always share a bed!”

“Your pointbeing?”

“He’s gonnathink all those times were with bad intentions!”

“Okay, youare jumping to conclusions. As Angel himself would say “you are parkouring allover the place” and that’s not ideal”

“Why do youthink so?”

“He hasknow you since you both were basically babies, he knows how and who you are”

Morganconsidered everything his more logical inclined friend had said. It was true, theyall had become a group when they were 13 but he and Angel had been friendssince pre-school. They knew each other; they knew each other’s boundaries,likes, dislikes, when one was feeling overwhelmed, and everything else.

Loganstared at his friend, he honestly couldn’t understand why Morgan hadn’tconfessed yet, it was clear that Angel had romantic feelings for him too andhonestly those two finally getting together would bring the group back to thebalance it had before Morgan panicked inside because of his own feelings.

Unknown tothe two bespectacled boys Angel and Roman were having their own conversation,even if this one was full of more movie references and criticisms.

“Just do asI did with Valerie!”

“There’s noway im gonna make a whole musical number inspired in High school musical toconfess to Morgan. There’s not even going to be a confession”

“Myconfession was a work of art thank you very much”

“You jumpedfrom a three and started singing “What I’ve been looking for” and it wasSharpay’s and Ryan version!”

“It wasepic and beautiful”

“I’m justsurprised it worked”

“Come on,you know Morgan is as big of a Disney fan as we both are, he’s gonna love it”

“Roman,dude, you gotta understand. I’m not confessing”

“But why?”

“… There’sno way he sees me as anything else besides a friend or brother”

“Aww, mychemical imbalance romance. Come here”

Roman gavethe shorter one a one-armed hug and ruffled his hair. He knew Angel worriedabout a lot of things and he honestly couldn’t relate. He had confessed to hisgirlfriend the second he found the perfect song. He didn’t even thought of thepossibility of Valerie rejecting him. But here Angel was, worrying that the boywho was obviously heads over hills for him could possibly reject him

“Do youwish for me to help you?”

“I appreciateit, but there really is no point Sir Sing-a-Lot. I’ll be okay Princey”

“If you aresure… well… we better go find those two nerds, who knows in what problem theymight get if we aren’t there”

Angel nodded,he knew exactly in which type of messes those two could get. It honestly wasn’ttheir fault, Logan was just too upfront and Morgan was too innocent and “dadlike” for his own good. Usually he and Roman had to go save the “damsels indistress” more often than not.

Luckilywhen they reached the other two they were sitting one in front of the otherwith their lunches out. Roman winked at Angel and sat himself besides Logan, immediatelystealing part of the fries the other boy had. Angel sat besides Morgan, smilingat the other and laughing once Logan slapped the top of Roman’s hand. SuddenlyAngel remembered something, and he smiled softly. The group would probablybenefit from it

“Guys”

“Ah?”

“My parentsare gonna be out on an art exposition for like a week, wanna have a sleepover?”

“We canhave a weeklong sleepover?!”

“…I mean,not really? But my house is open for anyone who wants to crush over during theweek”

“Oh… Well,I’m in!”

“Apologiesbut this week I have to work as baby sitter, so I don’t think I could make it”

“I have rehearsal,but if you let me crush on your house during the whole week I’ll wake you upwith pancakes”

“Deal, thenit’s as you guys know, key is on top of the door like always. Leave it thereonce you actually enter the house please. Logan, you are free to crush overwhenever.”

“Thank youvery much”

“No probbob”

“That’snot-”

“Expression”

“Oh, okay”

The secondschool finished Morgan hold on to Angel’s arm, jumping slightly up and downlike an excited puppy. He was going to spend the whole weekend over Angel’shouse and then drop by as often as possible during the week! It was perfect!

“We aregoing to have a full on Disney marathon!”

“You gottago pick up your things tho Morgan”

“…or Icould steal one of your pajamas”

The emo boyblushed, having his crush over in his house with his clothes was going to killhim one day, but he’ll probably die happily. He sighed and nodded, it reallywas impossible to say “no” to Morgan.

Once theyreached Angel’s house and said goodbye to the boy’s parents they settled in fora full marathon. Popcorn was made, pajamas were borrowed and a blanket forthwas build. Morgan had his head in Angels shoulder and was fully absorbed in themovie, so much that he didn’t realized when he took the others hand and startedplaying with Angel’s fingers

“You havepretty hands”

“Your faceis pretty” It was an impulse, to attack others when complimented, but he didn’tmean to say that. “I- I mean-!”

“So you don’tthink my face is… p-pretty?”

Morgan wasstaring at him though his eyelashes, and Angel felt his heart trying to beatitself out of his chest. Ahh, he was doomed wasn’t he? “Fuck it”

“Nope, I thinkyou are beautiful”

Using thehold that Morgan had in his hand he lifted it and kissed the others knuckles.The bespectacled boy giggled and blushed, this was what he wanted. To be ableto be with the boy he loved in a calm atmosphere

“I like youAn”

“And I youMo”

#Moxiety #anxiety sanders #patton sanders #human au #human names #its a 1.100 word-monster of pure fluff #skylions-den #necro writes

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jeremichal-archive · 7 years

Text

what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is gone

hey hey hey guess who watched the minecraft sky factory videos fifty times and ended up getting inspired. *points at self* mE, I DID... so yeah, this is a lovely little thing I cooked up because I have no self-control and honestly we need more jeremichael fics. I hope y’all enjoy and let me know what you think!

(also I'm gonna tag @holographdick because I know you like jeremichael and anon-ed you once saying I'd write you some jeremichael, so I'm paying back what I owe)

Pairing: Jeremichael Warnings: Swearing & mentions of catatonic characters (they ain’t dead tho)

Jeremy doesn’t understand how Michael can sit so close to the ledge without being absolutely terrified.

The drop beneath them is huge, ridiculous, stupid; and yet, Michael’s ass is planted on the edge of the wooden platform, his legs dangling off into the abyss below him with little care for his own safety. Jeremy wants to pull him back, grab him by his collar and drag him back within the bounds of the wooden fence that Geoff built for them, but he knows Michael won't appreciate that. He knows he’s just paranoid, he knows that this feeling will settle once Ryan figures out how to heal, fix, cure Jack and Geoff; but until then, Jeremy doesn’t want Michael anywhere near the edge.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watches Gavin scramble his way up one of their newly grown oaks. He grabs for the branches widely, carelessly with little to no planning of his path and Jeremy can’t help but grit his teeth. Ryan is busy with the sieve behind him- cursing every few moments under his breath- and Jeremy can guess that he’s trying to sift through their reserve of gravel for something useful. Neither of them seems to care about Michael, neither of them seem bothered enough to ask him to come back away from the edge- so that makes it Jeremy’s job.

Careful steps, slow steps- there’s no way he’s going to let himself fall off into the abyss- he makes his way over to Michael. Closer now, Jeremy can follow Michael’s line of sight to the stars above them, eyes flickering between the planets with a frown etched into his features.

“I’m pretty sure that’s Earth,” he mumbles softly and Jeremy can’t help but freeze. He watches his friend lift his arm to point up towards the sky. “I’m talking ‘bout that- that green and blue one. I’m like ninety percent sure that’s Earth.” When he looks back over his shoulder at Jeremy, his eyes are glassy.

“Come away from the edge, Michael,” is all he says and God, his voice is barely above a whisper. Things aren't… sitting right within him right now; things aren’t like they used to be. Their base isn’t safe anymore, not that it really was, to begin with, but now- Jeremy can’t help but look at and pick out all of its flaws. The gaps in the fences, the holes in the floor- Jeremy knows that when Ryan figures out how to create lava, their little wooden home-base won't stand a chance. It's terrifying, but stone is hard to create and Jeremy knows there are better uses for it instead of as a flooring.

“It’s Earth, right Lil J? You remember, right?” he tries again and the best Jeremy can do is nod. “Oh good. What- what about that one?-” he moves his hand to the left- “do you know that one's name, Jeremy? The little red one.”

“Please Michael. I don’t- I don’t want you to fall off again,” he mumbles and the smile Michael offers him in return is like a punch to the stomach.

“I won't, I promise. What’s the little red one’s name, Jeremy?” he insists and Jeremy sucks in a breath.

“Mercury, Michael.”

“Oh yeah… do you- do you know all of their names, Jeremy?” he asks and Jeremy stares up at the sky. There’s shuffling from behind him and then the cool silk of Gavin’s scarf brushes against his bare arm. He shivers.

“I used to,” he replies and Michael hums softly.

“What was Earth like?” Gavin asks, and Jeremy bites at the inside of his cheek, hard enough to draw blood. He can’t remember most of it, but what he can makes his stomach turn inside out. The warmth, the steadiness, the way he could take twenty steps to the left without worrying about falling off the damned thing. It was better, he knows that, but he’s unsure if he would ever go back if he were given the chance.

“Warm,” is all he replies, though, cause he’s not quite sure he could say any more without his voice breaking. The question tumbles out of his mouth before he can think better of it, “What was falling like?”

Ryan’s the one who answers him. “Cold.”

Jeremy almost rolls his eyes, almost calls Ryan an asshole for deliberately feeding his own answer right back at him- but he doesn’t because Ryan’s different now. Jeremy’s not the only one who’s currently not sitting right, he’s not the only one that’s a little off balance. Jack and Geoff are gone- physically they’re still there, both of their bodies lying side by side in the small bed Gavin crafted- but mentally, nothing. They don’t talk, they don’t eat; they don’t move, they don’t sleep. The four of them don’t know why and they can’t attribute it to the fall- because while Geoff tumbled into the darkness along with Michael, Gavin and Ryan- Jack didn’t.

Jeremy had watched, he’d watched the floor disappear out from underneath them all and had heard their screams of panic. He watched four of his friends disappear into the darkness below him, only for them to reappear next to him a few moments later- only, different.

Different as in: Jeremy rushing to Michael’s side, only for Michael to reply with, “Who are you?” when he tries to touch him.

Different as in: Jeremy catching sight of Gavin’s wide eyes, staring off into the abyss around them as if he doesn’t quite understand how he got there.

Different as in: Ryan flinching away from human contact with a frown as Jack tries to check him for any injuries.

Different as in: Geoff pacing around what little of the platform they have left, panicked mutterings slipping past his lips.

And then, not even two minutes later, Jack and Geoff just cease to be. They just stop, bodies collapsing into a heap onto the wooden planks and Jeremy’s heart sinks when he realises he’s left with three other people who don’t remember him.

So it's different now. He can’t banter so easily with Ryan, can’t press up against Michael’s side with a grin and he can’t play fight with Gavin without getting a real, honest punch in return- because they aren’t quite used to Jeremy��s playful intentions anymore. They don't know him, not like he knows them. He hates it.

Ryan’s attention drifts away from him at the same time Gavin wanders back to his tree, and then he’s just left with Michael- who is still too close to the edge. Jeremy’s fingers itch to bury themselves in his curls, to tug his head back and smile down at the other man. Exchange affection like they used to, back when Ryan would growl at them good-naturedly for touching the leaves on their shared tree. Little touches, little compliments. Anything.

But he doesn’t.

Michael’s gaze flickers away from him, back to the planets illuminating the sky and Jeremy sighs, glancing away from him.

“Sit next to me,” he mumbles and Jeremy can’t help but suck in a breath. He wants to, oh God does he want to, but he doesn’t think he could handle being so close to the edge. While falling doesn’t necessarily mean death- although things could be different for Jeremy- he still doesn’t want to go over the edge. He doesn’t want to fall, he doesn’t want to fall, he doesn’t want to- Michael’s hand slips into his, snapping him out of his thoughts as their fingers intertwine. He tugs at his arm gently, trying to pull him down and Jeremy can’t help but follow the silent order. The slight edge of shock and the pathetically desperate way he misses Michael’s touch makes him easily malleable against Michael’s will.

He lowers himself to the floor, staying close to Michael's side and reluctantly lets his legs dangle off the edge. He doesn’t look down. He doesn’t dare risk it.

“I can barely remember it, Jeremy. It happened so fast, didn’t quite understand what was happening till it was too late,” he whispers and Jeremy tenses. “Things before that are blank, I don’t remember what I was doing before I fell. I don’t remember who I was and why I was there. But-” he sucks in a shaky breath- “but I do remember, I remember thinking as I fell, ‘God, I hope Jeremy’s okay.’”

A whimper slips past his lips at Michael’s words and Jeremy can’t help but deliberately turn his face away. But Michael doesn’t let him get away so easily, he twists his body and follows him; he grabs for Jeremy’s thigh, pressing his face into the crook of his neck, humming lowly.

“What were we, Jeremy? Before I fell?” he asks and Jeremy’s heart stops beating.

Lovers. Soulmates. Partners.

No.

“Friends,” is what he ultimately settles on and no matter how much he hates it, it's technically true. They never quite pushed things further between them, instead, they just let themselves sit comfortably on the edge between playful teasing and flirting. Looking back on it now, Jeremy hates himself for it. He missed his chance, he missed his fucking chance because his Michael is gone now. And Jeremy doesn’t think he’s ever going to come back.

“Why don’t I believe you,” Michael mumbles back. His fingers absentmindedly stroke along the inseam of Jeremy’s pants and every little touch sends electricity shooting up his spine. Michael’s hand is both simultaneously way too high and way too low, and Jeremy doesn’t know how to fix it.

This isn’t his Michael, he tries to remind himself.

But does that even really matter, though? he hesitates.

“Why do I feel at home whenever I’m around you, Lil J? Why does the ache in my chest disappear whenever I touch you? Why do I always end up gravitating towards you?” he whispers and his fingers still momentarily; But they’re still there on his thigh and Jeremy can still feel them, warm fingertips selfishly burning their way into his memory forever.

Does Michael know what he’s doing to him? Does Michael know that Jeremy’s falling apart right beside him?

“Why do I desperately want to kiss you right now, Jeremy, if we were only friends before,” he asks and Jeremy whines low in his throat.

Yeah, Michael knows.

“Michael- Michael, you shouldn’t,” he whispers back, breath catching in his throat.

“Why?”

“Because you don’t know who I am.”

“But I did, and I will again- so why wait for the inevitable, Jeremy when I can have you now.”

And then Michael kisses him.

It's hard to describe, but if Jeremy had to compare the feeling to something, he would almost assume he was falling. Right off the edge, tumbling into the darkness- but the funny thing is, he can’t find it in himself to care. Michael’s lips press against his- softly, gently, carefully- and his eyes involuntarily flutter shut, and the rest of the world just fades away. It's just them, it's just them, it's just them and Jeremy wants it to stay that way forever.

When Michael pulls away, Jeremy chases after him, but Michael doesn’t give in. He sucks in a deep breath and smiles, something that's a little too smug for Jeremy’s liking. It's something that his Michael would’ve done if they had kissed. And something clicks in Jeremy’s mind.

This is his Michael now.

“Yeah, I was right. I knew I didn’t want to wait for that,” Michael replies and Jeremy leans forward, resting his head against Michael’s shoulder.

“Come away from the edge, Michael,” he whispers and Michael’s fingers trail across the back of his neck.

“Yeah, good idea Lil J,” he mumbles back, “don’t want to fall off. Not again. Not now.”

#jeremichael #holographdick #mine

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greeneyedsims · 7 years

Photo

Ryan Wynn: Heyyy babygirl, how you doing?

They hug and kiss at the front door. Tina is a Daddy’s girl, so she lights up whenever he comes around. But tonight, she’s kinda tired, and looks the part.

Another thing too...Her Daddy always drops by unannounced. He calls it ‘kicking in the door’.

Tina: Heyyy Daddy, doing alright. A little tired, tho. I’m doing some work around the house..a little cleaning, a little writing. You know how it goes.

Ryan continues: Yeah, take it easy..I’m not here to see you anyways. lol Where’s my son at?

Tina: *playfully pounds him in his arm* He’s where he’s always at, Daddy, downstairs. lol ..thanks for that.

Ryan: I shoulda known..lol I gots’ta come kick in the door on you two..You never come by the house.

Tina escorts her Dad downstairs to the basement, where Usher is practicing his music.

---------------------------------------------------

Usher: Oh hey Dad. You should’a called, I would’ve been ready for a game of chess. lol

Ryan: Ahh it’s okay, I’m on my way home..just wanted to stop by and see how your music is coming along. You got a top of the line studio here. *looks around smiling*

Ryan and Carmen Wynn used to live in this house, along with her twin sister, Jina’s family, before they sold it to Tina & Usher for a lot less than what they could have sold it for. That was almost a year ago..since then, they’ve moved to a more affluent neighborhood called Sage Estates. Jina and Vin Diesel have 2 young kids now, so they needed a lot more space.

But, before they moved, they made all the renovations that Tina & Usher had asked for, including this top of the line recording studio. Tina is forever grateful to her parents for their loving and financial support towards her and her husband.

Usher: It’s going really well. You heard of Javon Moore?

Ryan: Yeah, I’ve heard of that cat..he’s up and coming on the scene..specially down in San Myshuno, right?

Usher: Yeah, that’s him...he’s been producing some of the most amazing beats for me. Here, listen to this. He goes around and works a few buttons on the mixer board, and Ryan starts grooving to it.

Ryan: Yeaaah, man...that sounds nice. I’m so proud of you. Keep it up..it’s gonna be a hit. And, if you need anything more, you know that me and your mother are here for you. We want you to make it big one day, son.

Usher: I appreciate you and Mom, so much, already. Despite all of this... *motions hands around the studio* The best thing you ever did for me, was give me your amazing daughter’s hand in marriage. And now, we may be starting a family of our own. *smiles* ...We’re waiting to see what happens.

Ryan smiles the biggest smile ever...and tears fill his eyes.

Ryan jokes: No wonder she looks so tired. Yall been matin’ like rabbits. hahaa!

They hug.

Ryan: Alright, man...Let me get outta here before I really start crying. Get back to work, I’ll talk at ya’ll later.

#ts4 #the sims 4 #utraymond #around the hood #july 100 #rcwynn #year 100 #7700

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delctrl-archive · 7 years

Note

*MUSIC SYMBOL THO*

♫ – five times my muse swears it’s nota date and the one time it maybe is.— @sycophanticvisionary

1. CINEMA

“Just pick one.”

“I don’t know? I’m still thinking.”

“Look, it’s not that hard. You’re over-complicating it.”

“I’m just not sure.”

“Ryan, if you don’t choose, I’m going to choose for you.”

“All right, all right, gimme a minute, will you?!”

Easy for Joe to say; these are his selections. After process of elimination, the remaining films limit two in the same genre: Goodfellas or The Godfather III. Why is he not surprised this is something Joe likes? Ryan’s never been into gangster movies himself—someone has to force him to watch the first Godfather actually—so maybe he’s stalling on purpose, even though the line behind him is getting antsy.

“Sir, you need to make your choice soon. You’re holding up the line,” the box office clerk wheedles impatiently.

He wants to reject both options, if only because Ryan really wants to see Total Recall, but Joe isn’t a Schwarzenegger fan [how is that even possible? He’s amazing as Conan the barbarian]. Part of him wants to see Edward Scissorhands because that’s a unique concept and Nightmare Before Christmas is bizarre in a good way, even if as a kid Ryan finds it scary. But whatever, he has to decide, otherwise not only will people be pissed, Joe will probably walk out on him.

“Two for The Godfather.” It takes all his willpower not to sigh.

Glancing at Joe, the small smile on his lips tells Ryan he chooses well. That makes him smile in turn as they head to the snack bar.

“What do you want to eat?” he hears Joe ask, though he shrugs.

“You decide. I’m pretty cheap.”

Joe doesn’t argue, just orders them a combo popcorn and fishes for his wallet. It occurs to Ryan that Joe’s paying for everything and that makes his face hot with embarrassment. Does that mean—?

“Is this a date?” Ryan blurts.

It stills Joe from handing over a twenty-dollar bill, his eyes slowly sliding towards Ryan. Ryan swallows nervously, staring back with what he doesn’t realize is anticipated hope.

“No.”

Joe turns away to gather napkins as Ryan stands, deflated, watching. He doesn’t enjoy the movie as much as Joe does.

2. BOWLING ALLEY

Ryan’s probably never laughed as much as he had since getting out of prison, but witnessing someone as tall as Joe MacMillan try to toss a giant heavy ball down a laminated aisle and miss is ridiculously priceless. More than likely Joe doesn’t appreciate being the butt of the joke, but can’t say he doesn’t laugh either whenever Ryan misses a strike out—which isn’t a lot. He practically grows up on this game thanks to his dad’s company team. Ryan knows how to roll a ball before he knows keystrokes.

So, yes, it’s a little unfair he asks Joe to verse him, knowing the advantage he has, but it feels nice to be good at something again, especially against Joe MacMillan, a man who is seemly flawless at what he puts his mind to, regardless of skill level. [Ryan has seen the man’s code, and while it’s like looking at the aftermath of a wild keg party, there’s still some gold nuggets that can make a decent brewery. He may never be great at it, but he’s not unteachable.] When they decide to pause in Joe’s losing streak—he laughs again at the typical-wounded-ego pout on his face—they stop for a pizza break. Ryan carries a tray over with their huge slices and styrofoam soda cups; the one with the hot-pink crazy-straw indicates Ryan’s Dr. Pepper and the cup with lots of ice is Joe’s Coke. The fries they split. Ryan dunks his in too much ketchup, makes a mess of his shirt, and Joe just looks at him with fond exasperation when he gets more napkins.

“Do you still think you’re capable of beating me?” Ryan taunts through a grin and half a mouthful of pizza. “I mean, I gotta admit, you got spunk. Don’t think that’s good enough though.”

Joe scoffs goodnaturedly. “You’re sure of yourself. Don’t get cocky, Ryan—”

“Too late!”

“―You might be surprised. I could suddenly win this and you wouldn’t even see it coming.” Joe’s steady, self-assured voice causes doubt in any other situation but this one. Ryan’s heard it a few times when they’ve spent hours and days looking for something before finding NSFNet. That tone marks the man’s determination as well as an ace hidden up his sleeve.

Not that Ryan heeds it. There’s no way Joe can turn this around in time. There’s a little over thirty minutes of the game left and Ryan’s ahead by twenty-two. He stuffs the rest of his cheese pizza in his mouth, devours it, and slurps down more Dr. Pepper, shaking his head. “That doesn’t scare me, Joe. You’re all talk.” Ryan smirks. “C’mon, prove it.”

He’s not exactly prepared for that look Joe gives. Like he’s said the wrong thing, or maybe the right thing, to put that fire in his gaze; the way he stands so abruptly just screams You’ll regret that. Ryan watches a little dumbfounded as Joe steps into the little sitting area, food forgotten, then takes a minute to peruse particular bowling balls. He ends up choosing a shiny black one, as if it’s an enlarged 8-ball. It’s a surprise when Joe walks up, stands perfectly still, but suddenly executes a perfect throw with just the right amount of leverage and twist that sends the ball gliding across the lane, knocking down the white pins forming a Greek Church.

For a dumb moment, Ryan has the impression of pillars of an old god’s temple being destroyed by Joe MacMillan: a cannon ball come to wreck a false way of life.

The next half hour plays out similarly. Joe keeps nailing his shots over and over until he’s caught up to Ryan, who hasn’t said a word to joke or laugh at Joe’s expense. He realizes how easily he’s been played, that Joe is going easy on him earlier, and that miffs him the slightest bit. But in the end it’s Ryan who wins; as good as Joe apparently is at bowling, Ryan’s better.

“That was fun,” Joe announces on the drive home. “We should do it again sometime.”

“Yeah, sure,” Ryan answers, distracted, with his attention out of the window. He may still be a little bitter at how Joe played him. So he isn’t expecting the hand on his arm that gains his attention on the man driving instead.

“Hey, you okay?”

The concern in Joe’s words melt whatever ire builds. Coupled with that glance of caring worry behind horn-rimmed glasses, Ryan simply smiles and shrugs it off. “Yeah, I’m good, I’m good. We’re good.”

Joe smiles, small and delicate, and nods. “Good. Let’s play again sometime,” he encourages.

“It’s a date,” Ryan agrees mindlessly.

Joe’s smile doesn’t waver, but his eyes close off. He looks back at the road ahead, stepping on the pedal once the light turns green.

3. PARTY

Ryan’s two hours deep in Mortal Kombat, the joystick of his Nintendo 64 in danger of snapping from how vigorously he jerks it left and right, but he can’t care about that now, so close to K.O.-ing a FATALITY on Rain’s flamboyant, Japanese-purple-poncho, black death mask wearing ass. Ryan didn’t unlock Smoke as a character just to have him look pretty with his long white hair and mysticism. He’s been glued to the console ever since he buys it for himself as an early birthday present. Not even his brand new Microsoft PC has steered him from fighting fictional assassins and ninjas designed by America’s greatest video game developers.

It’s Joe’s fault anyway.

“Fault” as if Ryan’s mad—hardly. The day Joe hands this gem over in neat red wrapping paper, Ryan swears he falls in love. After replaying [and beating] Super Mario five times, he’s in need of something new; Joe delivers.

Speaking of Joe, a shrill ringing interrupts his gameplay in time for Smoke to land the finishing blow. “Yes!” Ryan praises, leaping up with arms shooting high the same moment Smoke does a victory taunt. Adrenaline plants a wide grin on his lips and he pats the wall for his phone blindly, but eventually grasps it. “Hello?” he breathes, not quite over his excitement.

“Ryan? It’s Joe.”

“Joe? Hey, man, perfect timing! I just killed it on Mortal Kombat!”

“Mortal Kombat?” Joe is genuinely confused. Figures.

“Yeah, Mortal Kombat, it’s that game you bought me a few weeks ago. For my birthday,” he tacks on just in case he really has forgotten.

“Right, I remember. I’m glad to know you’re liking it so much. Listen, can you do me a favor? I wouldn’t ask if I had somebody else, but—”

“What is it, Joe? It’s not like you to stall.”

There’s a pause, and Ryan imagines Joe’s debating telling him never mind and hanging up, but he’s happy he doesn’t. “There’s this thing I have to go to for Gordon. Business party. A lot of investors will be there—I need someone to come with me.”

“Like a date?”

“No, nothing like that. It looks bad if I go alone.” Joe is too quick to dismiss the idea, but what else is new. It no longer hurts Ryan’s feelings.

But he does chuckle to hide his scoff. “You don’t think showing up with a guy will look bad?” Ryan points out incredulously. He realizes how bad that sounds though. “Not that I have a problem with it, just—”

“Will you go with me or not?” Joe demands sharply, his voice like a cold knife.

“Sure, yeah, yeah, I’ll go. Sure. Look, I’m sorry if I—”

“Great. I’ll pick you up a six o’clock. Wear something nice.”

The line goes dead. Ryan feels like shit for putting his foot in his mouth and he knows he’s going to make it up to Joe somehow. Over the years the guy’s gotten a little more sensitive about his sexuality, the AIDS epidemic startling him into awareness and caution. Of course Joe’s never taken lightly to cracks about the gay community. Sometimes he can be downright vicious defending it.

Before Ryan has long to mope about his carelessness, he checks the clock. It’s four minutes from 5:00 PM and Joe doesn’t live far. Whatever remorse Ryan feels gets replaced by panicked annoyance at classic Joe MacMillan expecting him to break his neck getting ready in a small window of time. Ryan flicks off his television, then hops over his couch to rush down the hall towards his bedroom, shirking clothes as he goes.

He’s proud of himself when he opens the door to Joe exactly at 6:00, dressed in a starch white button-up, open maroon blazer, and black slacks. The contrast of deep red truly makes his skin glow copper. The way Joe looks him up and down slowly only adds to Ryan’s conceit. It doesn’t even diminish when Joe reaches forward to fix his black bowtie before half-smiling at Ryan. They’ll make quite the pair: Joe also looks dapper in his silver-white three-piece suit, his skin freshly scrubbed clean to give a polished peach gleam. Ryan forgets all about how much he hates parties and whether Joe admits it or not, he tries not to focus on the fact it feels very much like a date.

Ryan pretends Joe doesn’t.

4. COASTLINE

Joe invites Ryan out to the water with him. He tries to teach him to surf. It’s the first and last time he tries as they learn Ryan is stupendously awful at keeping his balance on a surfboard while the waves are rocking. He probably swallows more sea water than is healthy, but at least he coughs up some of it.

On shore Joe hands Ryan a towel that he gratefully accepts, rubbing his messy soaked hair after he’s squeezed out excessive water onto the sand dampening beneath his bum. These wetsuits make Ryan uncomfortable, a little more conservative about the skin-tight fabric than he’d like to be. He wishes he can be like Joe, who struts around in his wetsuit like he’s born to model them, or even something as simple as rolling the top half of it down, scars on display, just to lay on a towel while the sun warms them both. Joe looks mighty comfortable lounging on his back, hands atop his stomach, while Ryan imitates a drowned cat vigorously trying to groom himself. Instead of his tongue he’s got a terry cloth that’s mostly drenched—not much good for drying anymore.

“I think I’ll leave it to you from now on to be the surfing expert,” Ryan grouses, drawing his knees up to his chest and hugging himself. It’s a silly attempt to heat up faster, but he’ll take what he can get.

Laughing, Joe peeks a bright eye at Ryan. “Come on, you weren’t that bad.”

Ryan snorts, tossing Joe a look as if he’s crazy. “I got booed by a water skier passing by us. I sucked, let’s face it.”

“They were kind of assholes,” Joe argues mildly.

“Those assholes weren’t wrong though,” Ryan insists.

Humming, Joe’s quiet for a second as he thinks it over. He comes to a decision shortly. “I suppose you’re right. You were pretty bad.”

Ryan sits up straighter, raising his chin, and affects a haughty air. “Thank you.”

It makes Joe laugh like he intends, yet they both go quiet afterwards. Joe tips onto his side, eyes closed, the corners of his mouth faintly curl up, Ryan staring at him for a second too long. He doesn’t want to say what this feels like—out loud—for fear of Joe shooting the idea down. Rather than humiliate himself more, Ryan bunkers down next to Joe, a respectable amount of space between them without seeming too intimate nor too distant. He tucks his hands behind his head, well on his way to relaxed. Ryan will just keep it to himself how he considers this outing to be a date as well.

5. ARCADE

Ryan has a hard time believing Joe’s never gone to an arcade to actually play on one of the machines. He knows that’s where he and Cameron almost hooked up and where he recruited her, so it possibly has a sour taste in his mouth, but he chooses a different hotspot—plus, it’s not like Joe’s life revolves around a timeline of B.C. and A.C.: “Before Cameron” and “After Cameron.” At least he hopes not. Sometimes when she’s brought up he gets this erstwhile look, one of whimsical nostalgia, but mostly wistful remembrance. Ryan has been trying since the day Joe offers home and heart to him to help remedy that ache, but it may be impossible.

The most he can do is subdue it, except admittedly this isn’t one of his better suggestions for a date.

No, not date: hangout.

Now Ryan feels bad. “We can go somewhere else if this if this is too weird for you.”

It’s not a shocker that he’s barely able to finish his sentence before Joe turns on his heel and heads back for the car. Ryan jogs after to keep up, but does give some space. Joe seems a little angry, which is probably better than his sadness. Ryan doesn’t know what to do with sad. Anger? That’s easy.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t.”

The ride to Joe’s place is thick with silence. Ryan doesn’t try to talk again, nor after they get inside and Joe handles him a little too roughly when he steers Ryan towards his closed bedroom. In the morning Ryan may have bruises from how tightly Joe holds Ryan’s wrists down or how hard he sinks his teeth in Ryan’s shoulder and he knows for certain he’ll be a little sore sitting because he asks Joe not to hold back [“Just fuck me, Joe. I can handle it.”] and that’s all Joe needs to let himself go and not treat Ryan like some breakable china doll.

In the morning Joe asks Ryan to leave and Ryan does without argument. A couple days later he calls to apologize, regardless if he’s not sure what he’s apologizing for, but Joe accepts it and Ryan feels lighter. Unfortunately they’re both busy after that.

1. DINNER

Obviously he can still be surprised. “You cook?”

Clearly there’s food set out on the table that definitely isn’t store-bought frozen meals or nearby takeout. There’s some flavored rice, what he thinks is cut-up baked fish mixed with vegetables, and cheesy broccoli. A bottle of sweet red wine even stands between two glasses.

“Yes, I can cook. Why do you sound so surprised?” Joe’s a bit insulted.

Ryan ignores it as he peels off his coat. “’Cause I mean, you’re Joe MacMillan! Cooking is so… mundane.” That makes him sound like a douche, doesn’t it? “It’s just—you didn’t strike me as the type to like that sort of thing.”

Joe eyes Ryan critically, his hard stare skeptical, like he may have made a mistake. “You’re right. I don’t really enjoy it. But I thought…” He looks across the set table and examines the placement and food choice subconsciously, his hands on the back of a chair. His fingers tighten nervously. “I thought you might like it.”

“Oh, I do! I really do, you just caught me off guard, is all.” He’s quick to reassure that Joe doesn’t waste his time with this gesture. “This looks great, thanks, man.” Grinning, Ryan moves to take a seat, but is moderately amused when Joe pulls out his chair. Ryan doesn’t comment, simply lowers himself gingerly into the seat, eyes on Joe, full of unasked questions.

He follows suit while he reaches for his napkin and places it on his person properly, treating his dining room as a five-star restaurant. When he looks up at his guest, Ryan scrambles to do the same after a delayed second.

Joe smiles. “I thought we could try a proper date.”

“A date?” Ryan must have misheard.

“A date,” Joe confirms.

Nope, he hears correctly. He’s not sure what to think. “So this is a date then?” he repeats dumbly. It’s hard to believe after Joe denies all the other not-dates they’ve had.

“If you want it to be,” Joe murmurs, peering at Ryan, fixated. He holds his breath.

Understanding how serious this is, Ryan slowly smiles and he notices the tense line of Joe’s shoulders relax as he breathes. “I want it to be. I do, I really do.”

#sycophanticvisionary #.meme { style: drabble; }#{ i will go down with this ship }#{ macray make me macray }#{ also i did the opposite muse saying it wasn't a date 'cause it seems more a joe thing than a ryan thing tbh }#{ hopefully i wrote joe in character. x_x he's a tough one }

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survivornavarino · 6 years

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Episode #5: WE LANA DEL REY TONIGHT FAM -Rebecka

Back from exile so here's the happenings ~Immediately cried to Beckka about Tim leaving and being slaughtered in my arms. ~Messaged Trixie, well she messaged me about what happened our other tribal. ~Messaged all the favs cuz idc if Im at the bottom, im obviously bottom of fans or favs so WHATEVER. ~Talked a lot to Julia cuz we have a lot in common (Witchcraft, being 16 y/o babies, getting lit) ~Told all the favs I have no one in this game which is true. FAVS IF YOU LISTENING TAKE ME IN. PLEASE AND THANKS. ~Messaged Vi cuz at least she was with me.

Honestly what were they thinking with voting out Tee? I guess that's a challenge threat out of the way, so I won't complain.

https://youtu.be/HepZnpuimhM ________________________________________________________________ https://youtu.be/IJWWj23olkA

HAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE LANA DEL REY SO MUCH NICE TRY AMIRADOR GET READY PUT ON UR ACRYLIC NAILS AND WINGED EYELINER WE LANA DEL REY TONIGHT FAM

So the bad news is I found out Drew has been hardcore dropping my name since the game started and I thought we were cool but it's fine snakes will be snakes. I think he's a little shook about my at bat (me having won 1/3 games I've played) cause he's hinted at how crazy that is. And that would explain why he's pulling out fake receipts and conspiracies to get me out. Whew game recognize game https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/ryans-reality-network/images/6/61/Awright_alyssa_edwards.gif/revision/latest?cb=20150724035546 The good news is Eddie is a real one, we really are Joe and Desi from HvHvH, and he spilled all the tea. And honestly we have a similar playing style so we're really about to go the distance, especially if I never get reunited with Julia or Rebecka. SO we need to slay this lip sync so we both live but on the off chance we lose, things are gonna kick into high gear. I've only seen one season of Survivor (HvHvH) but Tyler convinced me to watch Kaoh Rong and let me just say that has shed some light on things. Voting Jacob? Will always be there. Sending another fan out? No problem. Voting long-term? Now that's not a bad idea. So when I said, "What if we got Drew out?" Eddie was all ears. Obviously this is super early and under wraps BUT between the two of us we can make it happen. The key is Tyler and Jake so if we can get them we have a guaranteed majority. It all comes down to timing and the pitch. This is our best chance to clock Drew and whoever fails the vetting process will be left out. If Eddie says that whenever someone takes a shot at Drew they can't afford to miss and that has to be a blindside, then this plan has to be airtight. I wonder who could pull something like that off https://media.giphy.com/media/QmeB1Hr5fz7a0/giphy.gif

I volunteered to do the music video since I was a film major and have professional editing software. It puts a good deal of pressure on me because if we lose it looks like I really dropped the ball. However, I’m hoping that my attempts to organize us and edit the entire thing will earn me some respect and points from my tribe. It’s a bit frustrating getting ideas out of everyone. Nobody seems to want to volunteer thoughts or contribute to the brainstorming and we don’t have much time at all to get this done.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CdgOebQNYEE ________________________________________________________________ https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cdsZyoPZe5Q

First challenge on a new tribe and we lost. WHOOP DE DOO. Im going to try and find an in with the favs and hopefully stick with them. Saying how I have no allegience in this game. Also I keep forgetting that I can idol hunt so Im just casually at level 4 still I think. Ill probably look in the morning. But what were we thinking with Great Balls of Fire. That song is iconic and now that Tyler won he has chances of getting an in with people, but I want him gone Obviously no can do since I am not on his tribe anymore. Might as well dwindle down his numbers from this side then.

So we lost the lip sync. I had to apply lipstick for the first time so that was fun. Sadly one of us has to go home and my guess is it's either Heather, Trixie or Vi unless me or another favorite is getting targeted secretly. I need Heather and Trixie in the game if i'm being honest, mainly due to Trixie having rumors spread about her on the OG Admirador tribe and I wanna see if I can mess around with that. Then Heather was saying that people on the OG Admirador tribe were being fake to her, and she also told me Tyler got paranoid due to Heather not responding to Tyler's messages. So I hope Tyler makes it past merge, because I can work with paranoia. For those who don't know I'm trying a villainy thing and it's probably gonna fail miserably and I'm gonna look like a dumb fuck but I was the hero on my season and I wanted to try villainy out. I'm not good at long confessionals I apologize I feel like i'm the kid in the class presentation who speaks in a monotone voice and makes everyone fall asleep.

Me to the other tribe if/when i reach merge and we get to talk: https://desmadrechic.tumblr.com/post/171063789210/oh-god Ignore the caption that came with the video ajsjsjdkjd

So the other tribe voted out Tee and I'm a n g e r y The challenge was a music video. Still a n g e r y We won. Still a n g e r y!

So like this is bad for the fans, I feel like the faves will just band together and take the easy vote route, I need to socialise today. I need to just make strong social bonds and make sure people want to keep me around. I wanna act dumb and want them to think I am a free number for them. I like Drew and feel like he will be loyal to me, I am no 100% sure what Mitch and Autumn will do but I feel like they will keep me over Jake and Tyler if we end up going to tribal.

Well look at that I got added to a new alliance chat...! Autumn added me, Tyler, and Eddie to an alliance and we named it "Keyboard Smashers" and um I like everyone in it but I also like Drew...so I'm gonna protec him! If we lose and we're still on the same tribe I think I'd want to vote out Mitch since he hasn't made any efforts to talk to me individually. It's a shame bc I think we'd have a lot in common, but oh well! Tbh I have a feeling that we're gonna swap into 3 tribes of 5 next round...my psyche is telling me this...and I'm always right! But I hope I'm wrong because I feel like I'm in a really good position on this tribe and I'm scared to swap on a tribe with people from the other tribe because I think Heather and Vi wouldn't work with me, neither would the faves on the other side. Anyways...I'm a bad bitch.

We just did THAT and I'm happy for it. I've not gotten the chance to be as much if a social butterfly as I would like because my work situation is still adjusting, so if I can keep staying safe until merge that would be highly appreciated. HeatherAs of right now he vote is Vi. I dont agree with it since she is the only one who has been truthful to me in this game so far. But I dont see any way of saving her right now. My only choice I feel in this game is to team up with the favs and get out the fans, which I don't mind as long as that fan isn't me. Plus the fans (minus my loves Vi and Tim) all left me out of the vote. If they think I am going to crawl right back to them come another swap or merge, they have something coming. HOPEFULLY THIS VOTE ISNT ME OR ILL CRY.

So I'm just like really sad because I love vi and I never wanted to vote her out of this game but I have to and that's really sad. I don't really have much else to say I just feel super guilty.

du du du..... another fan bites the dust and another fan gone, another fan gone another fan bites the dust

Why is it that each tribal gets messier than the last? Well maybe I should back up. We lost... again. Wow what curse have we brought to this tribe. I call bs since we were nice enough to give an upbeat song. The judges are bias smh. Anyways literally no one talked. What vote who? I dunno. It’s super silent which brings bad news. Probably gonna have to expect to be voted out tonight. Oh well. Hopefully heather doesn’t get voted out but I feel like it’ll be another fan that’s gone. The favs know each other and so they’re banding together I believe. Such sadness. I’ll just have to wait until tribal to know tho

Oh, right, this is a thing I need to do. Anyway, same boring shit as always, I'd put "Drew won an immunity challenge" as my mood message but it could be about anything, really. I think there are only like two tribal challenges I've ever lost in Athena. Bonus points because it was the music video challenge so you know my ass floated by and gave it all of ten minutes of thought, but we had a damn savant on the tribe! I love it when tribe swaps work out well for me. People were expressing all this sadness for Trixie and Vi going to their fifth tribal in a row and I'm just sitting here like listen, any goddamn time someone wants to take my seat at tribal and give me the night off, they're welcome to it. Denise Stapley is a cute look on some people, I guess. I'm just fine over here with my Cirie Fields kickback realness, I don't need tribal council, y'all can wait until FTC to give me a torch as far as I'm concerned.

What's the haps? Stress, angina, and crippling anxiety. Anyway. We won immunity which I'm real happy about because I can nOT go to tribal council. I absolutely refuse to lose and I'm really hoping I just make it to merge without attending a tribal council. For some reason I feel like I will I will either go to like the tribal before merge and leave at the first tribal I attend or I will make it to merge without losing and I will be merge boot. I really am happy because I feel like if we went to tribal council Drew would have targeted Autumn which is something I am SOOOO against. I literally sold my soul to that girl and that's who I'm riding with for the rest of the game. So because I love ha so much I kind spilled the beans to her about Drew targeting her. I feel like really bad about it though cause I do consider Drew a close friend but for some reason I'm really having a hard time trusting him. I just feel like he's only with me until he doesn't need me anymore and then he'll totally see me for the threat that I am and take me out. I feel so bad about it but I just feel like it's what I needed to do to show Autumn that I trust her and have her back. Because of that I think Autumn would've gone after Drew and I feel like I would've had to pick a side and I really just can't vote Drew out yet njvjsdfkdnsjk. I would literally feel terrible about it cause I usually don't turn on my close allies pre-merge but if he goes after Autumn then I have no other choice. As I'm typing this I'm beginning to wonder why I didn't just tell Drew that I didn't want to vote Autumn out. Maybe he would've said ok we can target somebody else. Why don't I trust him enough to say that? Hmm idk I'm just so on edge. So a 4 person alliance was created and I'm soooooo happy. MY first alliance in this game! I finally feel have something I can maybe rely on and trust for a bit. It includes Autumn, Jake, and Tyler all of which I LOVEEEEE. Like omg this is my dream alliance I'm screaming. If we stick together we at least have enough to tie it. But who knows what will happen. I'm watching you JAKE >.>

#TurnUpTheHeat #confessionals

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grubhivemind · 7 years

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RILEY: -while ryan falling back into the web of addiction wasn't a good thing, she was grateful that she was given the chance to support her through this. she took advantage of every day's two hour long visiting period no matter what. the last she wanted was for ryan to feel like she was going through this alone-

RILEY: -she gets clearance into the facility and knows by now not to bring much of anything--everything could be used as a weapon these days. and she walks into the common area, looking for her daughter-

RYAN: -she's got herself perched in an arm chair near a window, away from other small groups of visitors with patients. she seems to be zoning out a little, watching the happenings of the outside world, but she already looks like she's on the upswing in general, even with the pensive look on her face.-

RYAN: -when riley enters, she catches a glimpse of the movement and perks to attention. a smile returns to her weary face, brightening her look immensely and she waves in case riley hasn't spotted her yet.-

RILEY: -her attention is grabbed by the waving and she greets her youngest with a warm grin- hey, baby.

RYAN: -hops up from her seat to capture riley in a hug. she really appreciates her visits... the loneliness really worsens the restlessness.- hey!!! i missed you.

RYAN: its only been a day but i missed you!!!

RILEY: -hugs her tightly and smooches her head- i missed you too, cutie.

RILEY: how are you doing?

RYAN: im alright... just a little bored i guess. -sighs-

RYAN: i mean aside from all the gross withdrawal shit but hey.

RYAN: its not as bad as it could be???

RILEY: -she pulls away to take a seat next to ryan's chair- you really feeling that optimistic despite all of this? i mean...you totally should. because it's gonna get better. i just know how hard it is to.

RYAN: -wringes her hands and then takes a seat again too.- yeah. i dunno.

RYAN: last time i was in a place like this it wasnt really... my decision?

RYAN: guess its easier to be optimistic if you sorta feel in control.

RILEY: -nods- yeah. i totally agree.

RILEY: it took a lot of maturity, you know. for you to put yourself first and come here.

RILEY: i wouldn't have been able to do that at your age at all.

RYAN: ... -she just shrugs about that- just took advantage of a moment of clarity.

RYAN: i had some motivation but...

RYAN: i think mostly i was disappointed in myself? and i was tired of feeling bad about that.

RYAN: time to put on me big girl panties i guess.

RILEY: -she smiles a little, listening to ryan talk- and you're pretty fucking amazing for it.

RILEY: but you've always been amazing.

RYAN: -she blush... she isn't sure how to receive a compliment like that. at least not in THIS context. she doesn't feel all that amazing. its just necessary.- aw gee.

RYAN: youre just saying that. :blush: -still gonna act coy about it tho.-

RILEY: -ruffles her a hair a little- nah.

RILEY: i'm real proud of you, kid.

RILEY: just happy i get to hang around you this time around.

RILEY: you know, impart my motherly wisdom or some shit like that.

RYAN: oh?? what nuggets of wisdom do you have to share with me today?

RILEY: fuck bitches get money.

RYAN: -snorts then pops and locks it- no no no no silly boys cant tame me.

RYAN: bennys the only one whos ever gonna claim me.

RYAN: uh uh uh uh im in love with the price tag.

RYAN: gimmie your number imma give that shit right back.

RYAN: fuck boyz get money.

RILEY: i like that better.

RILEY: okay, but for real, i never got any motherly wisdom to impart in the first place. it's all just winging it.

RYAN: hehe... i figured thats how the parenting thing works.

RYAN: i mean no offense.

RYAN: youre good at winging it.

RILEY: yeah?

RILEY: good enough to get a g on my report card?

RYAN: more like straight up g.

RILEY: daaaaaaaaaaamn!

RILEY: didn't see that one coming.

RILEY: so have you made any friends here yet?

RILEY: places like these are friend central.

RYAN: i mean... im friends with pretty much everyone. -looks around at all the folks visiting with their family and friends.-

RYAN: im of moderate popularity. people either love me or hate me cuz im being so bitterly optimistic haha.

RYAN: so you know.

RYAN: love me or hate me its still an obsession.

RILEY: love me or hate me that is the question.

RILEY: you've always been the light that draws all the moths and big bugs.

RILEY: it sounds less like a compliment when i say it like that but i swear it is.

RYAN: -snorts- oh yeah... i attract all KINDS of creepy crawlies.

RILEY: where's the lie?

RYAN: -snickers, but then pauses thoughtfully.- hey...

RYAN: im sure theres some wisdom you can share though? advice on how to like...

RYAN: keep myself from feeling so restless?

RILEY: -looks over at her as her expression softens a little- you can't.

RILEY: it's a fun part of withdrawal, baby.

RILEY: what you can do is try and distract yourself. or make sure you're never completely alone. cuz it's when you're alone that it gets unbearable.

RYAN: ... -looks down at her lap.-distractions are hard.

RILEY: they are.

RILEY: or you can channel that energy into something artistic.

RILEY: it's not going to take it away but at least you'll get something out of it, you know?

RYAN: -fidgets, but then nods.- i always try singing.

RYAN: it usually helps a lil bit.

RILEY: keep singing. even if you don't want to anymore.

RILEY: that's my advice.

RYAN: -some days it is harder to find her voice and it feels like those have been more often than not lately.- you wanna sing with me?

RILEY: -she smiles sweetly at her- there's no question about it.

RILEY: i'd fuckin love to.

RYAN: -nods again, taking a deep breath.- alright cool.

RYAN: -shuts her eyes, thinking of what she wants to sing... and then just lets it happen.-

RYAN: when it went down it was hard to breathe.

RYAN: i gave up everything in a slow fall down to the floor. RYAN: life was escaping me. i couldnt find myself.

RYAN: til it was all lost.

RYAN: not anymore.

RYAN: im holding on to all the pieces of my hearts debris.

RYAN: til its time.

RYAN: ill put it together and fix myself eventually.

RYAN: and know its mine.

RILEY: i found gold in the wreckage, put it on a necklace.

RILEY: keepin' it cause i, i, i, i know that it's mine.

RILEY: i wear it like a message so i don't forget it.

RILEY: keepin' it cause i, i, i, i know that it's mine.

RILEY: i know that it's mine no matter what i do. -reaches over to push ryan's hair back-

RILEY: i know that it's mine whether i win or lose.

RILEY: and even though my heart needs to take its time.

RILEY: i know that's mine, i know that it's mine.

RYAN: -chest tightens at the simple gesture.- facing the change but its still tough to see.

RYAN: at first i fought it all. i was so mean.

RYAN: im still unsure how its supposed to be.

RYAN: but taking every day now by the skin of my teeth.

RYAN: until i learn.

RYAN: im holding on to all the pieces of my hearts debris.

RYAN: til its time. oh.

RYAN: ill pull it together and fix myself eventually.

RYAN: and know its mine. -she starts to sniffle, watching her mother sing with her.-

RILEY: i found gold in the wreckage, put it on a necklace.

RILEY: keepin' it 'cause i, i, i, i know that it's mine.

RILEY: i wear it like a message so i don't forget it.

RILEY: keepin' it 'cause i, i, i, i know that it's mine. -takes the opportunity to bring Ryan against her, holding her and singing more softly.-

RILEY: know that it's mine no matter what I do.

RILEY: i know that it's mine whether I win or lose.

RILEY: and even though my heart needs to take its time.

RILEY: i know that it's mine, i know that it's mine.

RYAN: -curls up against her, clinging tightly and giving up on singing the rest of the song because she's trembling too badly now.-

RILEY: -just holds her safely in her arms and leans her head against her daughter's.. she's still singing, just very softly-

RYAN: -she just listens to her for a long while, letting the tears that escape from her to cleanse the heaviness in her heart. she feels like a kid again, crying over something trivial that her mother effortlessly cast away with her soothing songs. it reminds her of all the ways she wanted to be just like riley. maybe she got that wish in too many different ways, but she wouldn't change this connection they have now for anything. she feels safe just like this.-

#robynsaint #primadonnaTartuffe #in which riley visits #this is before the last one note to self

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