#LIKE ARE U JOKING????????

[adriles]

they are Cancelling me for dealing with my grief as best i can . also for the vicious war Crimes

#book 24 #the conversation between the gods at the beginning there is just this #greatest hits #all i say is vicious war crimes in a vague way #and you all start frothing at the mouth like rabid dogs #a lot of yall get the memo with the blorbo tags but also. seeing quite a few strange pulls #not exactly war crimes but Ok #sometimes normal vicious crimes can just be normal vicious crimes ok guys #can yall stop tagging this as israel u guys r fucking weird…. #if u see this and think it is a joke about actual fucking horrific war crimes and ethnic cleansing. u may be fucked up in the head #please be normal #will people stop commenting on this please. none of yall r funny

[aropride]

REBLOG if you think they FUCKED RAW !!!!!

#text #sui joke #sry 2 the innocent bystanders (random ppl clicking tbe post to see the original) #im not even really a frerardie but one guy in my notes got mad abt it so i was like WELL I AM WHEN ITS FUNNY ! #so srry abt this post U understand

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[wulfhalls]

people on here interacting with neil gaiman is so. ur like this cannot possibly a real human being off anon!!! sitting down typing out an ask like that knowing the creator of the work will see it. and then ur like well dont be an asshole maybe it's just a 14 year old engaging in fandom for the first time! but then u click on the blog to see its a 35 year old actual real adult who went hello mister GAYman (hihihaha) thank u so much for making my coffeeshop au background relationship / rarepair endgame / slow burn true love sunshine sunshine protector dynamics of my dreams come true! u really had crowley say SMUT 👍🥳🤣🙌 but why was there conflict :/sometimes people argued and???? was that really necessary??? pls tell me rn that this is in fact a happy ending fic scenario otherwise I will have to kill myself immediately in exceedingly violent fashion and it will be ur fault (if michael sheen and david tennant don't kiss again in s3 u will feel my wrath. i know ur home address) anyways. are u aware of the omegaverse trope 😜 just blink twice if that is something we can look forward to in s3 😝😂🤭 also crowley wore different clothes during different episodes?? is that a continuity error?? or will that be explained in s3?

#good omens #txt.me #like. DIE. also i think u should all delete ao3 immediately no joke #viewing media thru this wrapped lense of fanfic exclusively is not good for ur brains fr #10k+

[beybuniki]

best friend with social anxiety

#idk what prompted my brain to come up with this but bakugo finds deku cowering in the communal room and he just knows whats up #and he stays there and cracks some jokes until deku feels a bit better #because he actually does that in the manga i love how bakugo tries to help his peers u can literally see his brain fuming #and he always comes up with sth! #and he knows deku so well like he knew damn well deku said sth cringe and it has been haunting him the entire afternoon #anway #bnha #deku #midoriya izuku #bakugo katsuki #all might slippers yyeeeeeeeeeeeeesssss

[caruliaa]

staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the #first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post #for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !! #bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny #EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically #also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am #anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things #also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode #i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep #and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves #also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc #id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever #it wld b fun !!! #oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically #a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday #ya !! :3 #flappy rambles #inaccessible #ask to tag #(<- idk. just in case)

[storywood]

The Coastline Keeper 🌊

Been working on this painting for a long time, excited to finally share it! 😊

#no joke I started this sketch 10 months ago and have been slowly picking away at it since then...hope u like it owo #artists on tumblr #illustration #digital painting #digital art #art #landscape #fantasy art #fantasy #dragons

[choccy-milky]

MC doing what we all wished we could do (aka napping on the floor with ominis )😴💕

#ill never get over how he just sleeps on the floor its so cute to me and seems so at odds with his personality which makes it better #hogwarts legacy #hphl #ominis gaunt #ominis gaunt x mc #ominis gaunt x oc #ominis x mc #hogwarts legacy ominis #hogwarts legacy fanart #hey look everyone its my nameless MC aka just brown haired clora LMAOOO #its like when u play a fighting game and you and your friend both choose the same chara. this is clora with a diff colour scheme BAHAHA #this has been in my wips for like a year im not even joking im glad to finally actually draw it properly LMAO #i also love how all of my ominis centric posts involve him on the floor/talking about the floor LMFAOO EVEN THE SMUT ONE #what can i say i just love a man who isnt afraid to chill on the floor ok #also i love a hypocritical man LMAO apparently. i always make seb a hypocrite and now im makin ominis one too #HOW COULD U SLEEP ON THE FLOOR MC? #meanwhile #also srry but dont get ur hopes up for more ominis content anytime soon this was just in my wips and i rly wanted to finally have it done #A RARE TREAT FOR THE OMINIS GIRLIES #choccyart

[arunneronthird]

i have v few regrets about making tim an insufferable music nerd

#u like joy division? name 5 of their albums #at this point yes i am self projecting yes i do own tims shirt and the unknown desires vinyl yes i do suck #dick grayson #tim drake #nightwing #red robin #robin #batman #my art #(the joy division thing is a joke cause they only have two albums) #dc comics #ladies. gentlemen. you have eaten well.

[aropride]

also don't let ur friends/society/tumblr posts/whatever convince u to start smoking or drinking or whatever if u don't want to. there are health risks there are social and financial aspects to consider and it's totally fine and normal to not want to. there's no moral aspect to it you can drink and do drugs or whatever if u want and that's chill but u should know what ur doing and do research and if u decide u dont want to that's chill and anyone who tries to shame u for it can go fuck themselves

#text #DORRY FOR ALL THE POSTING THIS MORNING this isnt even super related ifve just been thinking abt it a lot #bc the new thing is posting about how smoking is hot. Dont start smoking kids. genuinely #u r GOING to fuck up ur life and ur health and ur lungs and ur bank account probably. dont start smoking #like all jokes aside. do not. or at least know the risks and know what ur getting into #u r not immune to addiction u r not immune to health risks u r not immune to additional financial strain

[inkskinned]

fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho

[cozylittleartblog]

gooseworx in the glitchx livestream: i want to see people draw jax in a suit. people should draw him crying

me: sure thing, boss o7

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #art #jax #caine #ragatha #doodles #tadc fanart #the amazing digital circus fanart #gooseworx #glitchx #the tie was almost yellow in the left one. and then my brain yelled THE MAN BEHIND THE SLAUGHTER??? and i had 2 change it #too afton colored #also i think it's interesting that the characters can't change their own outfits. caine has to do it #they're like baked into their character models in-universe. that's a cool detail #so that's why he's the space filler. the rabt will be dapper he demands it #i hope they do get in the joke where pomni takes off her hat and the back of her head is empty. u just see eyes and the mouth modeling #i love video game humor. i have seen many such horrors playing phasmophobia while my pals load in

[ruporas]

kiss the pain away

#vashwood #trigun #trigun stampe #vash the stampede #wolfwood #nicholas d wolfwood #ep 10 was crazy bc vashwood was literally the plot goodbye #i like how the most intimate moment between these two was in the goddamn sewers #i feel like that alone symbolizes so much in their relationship. im half joking BUT ITS JUST LIKE #the SPONTANEITY the PRIVACY they get in such an open Space while being literally chased / hunted after.... #and vash is out here showing his scars.............. and ill always lose my mind that they gave this spotlight to wolfwood instead of #meryl and milly like in the previous versions. i dont know how else to read this other than that wolfwood is the romantic interest of stamp #it makes sense even aside from this scene. u know. wolfwood was technically the damsel in distress in ep 5-6 and vash saved/helped him. #and who stayed in the bedroom with vash................. #who rushed to his side when he got shot...... with that worried ass expression.... #i dont have anything smart to say at all im just gushing over vashwood thru stampede bc its just so blatant. and its great that its blatant #bc it was blatant in trimax too. like so blatant. the romance was written in every chapter they showed up together #god #ive never witnessed a pairing more canon without being spoken as such its soooooo much theyre so much #ruporas art

[buttlerina]

They know he's neither but they still like to refer to him as "the straight cis friend"

#i'm joking but could you fucking imagine. #'what do u think it's like to be into cars as a hobby' 'i don't know but i'll ask my straight cis friend he would probably know' #buttlerinart #project sekai #mizuki akiyama #tsukasa tenma #akito shinonome

[jewishfalin]

You can criticize people like Ben Shapiro without being antisemitic... Like if you can get it through your head that doing things like misgendering a trans person because they did something wrong is bad, you should understand its bad to resort to projecting harmful jewish stereotypes onto people because they're shitty.

Ben Shapiro sucks, but he is a jewish man and jewish men have been stereotyped as feminine and there is even an antisemitic myth that cis jewish men have menstrual cycles. So like... joking about a cis jewish man being secretly trans isnt exactly the funny irony joke you think it is.

Also, he talks like that because that is a common speech pattern for a lot of jewish people in certain communities.

You can criticize shitty people without perpetuating bigoted beliefs. Also this shit is just gonna push a guy like him deeper into toxic masculinity.

#antisemitism #i cant believe i have to defend ben fucking shapiro bc goyim jump at any opportunity they get to be antisemitic #like... because of intersectionality... at that point your joke is no longer satire and u r just being antisemitic to a jewish guy #u r acting the same as a right winger and its ridiculous

[iriily]

Yes my two favorite drivers are Charles F1 driver, musician, model, karting team owner, icecream shop owner, UN road safety ambassador, amateur footballer, ocassional padel player Leclerc and Max F1 driver Verstappen

#lestappen #formula 1 #charles leclerc #max verstappen #this is a joke btw #i know max does a lot of stuff too #but it's j funny like #charles does a million things during break #and max is like. sim racing. #barbie and ken #if u will