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#LIKE I IUST WANNA CUDDLE AND KISS YOU LIKE
potpizza ยท 3 years
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PLEASE FLIRT WITH ME
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FUCKING DO IT !!!
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How I Met Jude
(Okay let me talk in 3rd person view. Para cute)
So I met this guy at Bumble, who is now boarding at my aunt's house. I often crash at his place, he feeds me, takes me to places, tells me stories about random shit about this planet, shows me his photographies, makes me try his games, sleeps with me, cuddles me until I fell asleep, helds my hand when I feel cold or scared, stares at me and tells me random sweet nonsense, kisses me and well, yeah. That 's about it.
End of story.
Or.. so I thought? Lol.
I met Jude in one of the craziest times of my life. I haven't had a boyfriend for more than 2 years, I sort of missed having someone to be with. I was never into instant gratification. I never wanted to be with someone who was never into commitments nor someone who isn't even sure of me. The moment that I get the hint that the guy I'm seeing isn't entirely commited to me, I junk the damned dude. But Jude, Jude is different. I don't know what happened. He changed everything that I wanted.
Man, he broke my walls.
So, he was one of the guys I matched with at Bumble. I've had my fair share of some interesting folks, having to exchange energetic conversations and such, but this dude, idk.....
One night, in one of my night shifts, he asked me out for coffee, which was incidentally also his lunch break. I was joking around and asking if I could borrow his jacket because I'm effin cold in our training room (which was true, okay! Wag ka tumawa jan). So, we met at Starbucks, which was right across the street of my office's building. Funny thing was, my workmate was with me because he was intrigued who I was meeting because well, I haven't been with anyone for a looongggg time, and yes my friends are chismosa ๐Ÿ™„.
We talked for a while, until the very last minute of my lunch break. He was in a higher position in his office so time isn't really an issue with him. Lucky bastard.
Anyways, I was soooo freaking shy at first because well, it's my first time meeting someone that I met online and I really don't know how to proceed. Well, I did my best not to look awkward because he bought me coffee and I owe him so I have to be mabait ๐Ÿ˜….
The next few days were fine. We talked a lot, seemed like our conversations would never end and such. We laughed a lot too.
Okay shit. Pause. Break. Naiiyak ako. HAHAHAHAHA. Hoy ang sakit wait lang. hAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA.
Okay commercial lang. Looking back, parang ang saya nga. Walang pressure, walang kahit ano. It's me, I'm the problem. I already like you, you're becoming someone that I don't want to lose but I have no say on that cause you're not mine. TENEN! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘ป
Okay, to be honest....... I had the freaking urge to write when you told me you'll be seeing someone else later for breakfast. You know what scares me? That's where we started.
We had gooood conversations. We met. We went out. We went on dates. AND IT FUCKING SCARES ME that you'd want other girls, other girls that ain't me.
But
Why do I care diba? You're not mine. This is not ownership. You do what you want to do. Maybe I iust haven't wrapped my head with the idea that I can't fully have you. I guess it's my pride? That I always get who I want but with you it's different. In the beginning you already told me that you're not someone I should fall in love with. You're not the boyfriend material. You're not the guy I should be with. But fuck, you make it so hard to not be with you.
But I don't wanna be like the other girls. I don't want to he head over heels with you and you'll eventually leave. I don't want to be just one of your girl flings in the past. I know you told me you'll never flirt with other girls, you told me you could never do that to me, and I trust you.
Just know, if I ever gave you this blog, it means that I'm already choosing to move on. I'm slowly fading from you. Slowly getting away from your embraces, your kisses, your touch, your smiles, your eyes..... and I don't even know if you'll even miss me but I swear to all the gods in all the mythologies, I'll miss you.
I will surely gad damn miss you.
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