#LOL i found this in my old fb post which was 6 years ago.

[willow-salix]

This is going to be out of the blue and there's no need for a response to it, but I guess I feel like some of you deserve to get a peek behind my armour.

Facebook just gave me a memory from 7 years ago, showing me an album that I'd rather not see quite honestly, but you know when you're just drawn in even though you know it's against your better judgement? Yep, that was me just now.

The album is full of screenshots of the absolute shit ton of crap that I've had on the Internet over the years.

I was in the RP world for ten years, and in that time I was verbally and mentally attacked a lot, I was mentally abused, I was stalked, I was blamed for things I never did, I was used as a scapegoat for things I never did. I was the victim of unwarranted attacks that had my accounts deleted by fb so that I lost YEARS of writing.

I got my heart broken over and over again by people that claimed tk be my friends, people that claimed to love me but that were all too happy to dump me the second a better option came along. People that I sat up all night with, that I lost sleep over, that I went out of my way to help and support.

Some of them lied to me so throughly that they lied about who they were, where they lived, their job, their gender, their nationality, what other characters /accounts they had and everything else you could think of for over TWO years.

I've had one that claimed to be my best friend, sit on my couch, my actual couch, in my house and lie to my face. Lie to me and his long term partner and mother of his three kids that he wasnt cheating with a cheap bitch he met online (the third person he'd done it with I found out after) I only found out about her when she messaged me to tell me.

I stopped talking to him, after their friends started a smear campaign against me, and even then EVEN THEN, I talked it out and started talking to him again. But he turned it around and started blaming me and guilt tripping me again. So I cut him off. He stalked me. Like messaging my friend, posting things to me (actual letters through the mail) making new accounts to message me, buying new phone sims to call me. This was 6 years ago. He called me at the start of lockdown and left a message on my voicemail.

This man mentally abused me. He'd force me to talk to him when I had a problem and then he'd not like what I said, so he'd go silent and ignore me for up to three days, to the point that I'd worked myself up so much that I was apologising, that I was taking the blame for having feelings, only when he got that would he talk to me.

He was an alcoholic who worked in care if you can believe that, I supported him through him getting sober again, he still did all that to me.

I gave up on role play and let my character, my home, the one place I felt comfortable and safe, up. And I didn't go back for two years. I got talked around by someone, they made promises, I stupidly fell for it.

I then got used to bring their character back and to help them sort out storylines. I was then told they didn't want to work with me anymore because they had too much going on in their personal life, they blocked me and I then got screenshots that that had another writing partner already.

That broke me. That broke me and fandom and people and everything really.

I vowed never to go back.

Then I stumbled upon you lot. And I told myself not to get involved, not to start talking to anyone, not to start trusting again. Now look! Now bloody look!

I'm what... 500k + in a story that was never meant to be, I'm actually writing and collabing with people again and I have a character that I adore and feel just as comfortable with... And that is fucking scary.

It's sooooo scary. Like terrifying scary to me.

Because I'm having to trust again. Selene is like public property now, and I love how much everyone has accepted and adopted her and how they use her and write her too, that warms this cold, dead, suspicious heart of mine.

Because I can honestly say that Selene and John saved me and my sanity.

I am quite a sociable person, I love to chat to people and if I'm your friend I will go out of my way to do my best for you, to be there for you and to support you in every way I can. But I know I can be used and I dotn always see the bad in people. So I cut myself off and refused to allow myself to make friends again.

I was writing my novels and that was it. No interaction, no fun really. Then this loud mouthed witch blazed into my head, took one look at the spaceman and said "that one, he's mine, wrap him up I'll take him to go" and here she is.

They made writing fun again, they made it spontaneous and exciting, I suddenly had ideas again, people to talk to about the characters I love and it was hard. Because it was also good.

I had to trust the process, trust Selene.

But I'm also so wary. I'm wary that I'm gonna piss people off, that I'm going to annoy people with her and that people hate her. I know people don't like OCs' and I get major anxiety about that.

I've never had this amount of anxiety over stories before, never. Not my rp, not my novels, not the ones I did for class or competitions, nothing. This is singularly the most stressful writing I've ever done. Because these boys, they mean the world to me, they always have. They have always been my happy place since I was 5/6, they have always been my heart and home.

The problems I had in rp made me not like the books that I loved, the fandom I was in, because of peoples interpretations of the characters, the way they played them and the fact that they were so nasty to me. And I really really don't want that to happen here.

A few weeks ago I noticed that an account had bene set up that was clearly a piss take of me, of this account. And all the old fears and anxiety came rushing back. I instantly went running to Squiddy and Olliepig and basically tumbled around the group chat in a mess for a few minutes before I calmed down and realised what was going on and had a guess at who it could be.

But it's scary. Because I've been stalked, I've been badmouthed, I've had people make fake accounts of me to cause trouble, and it weighs on me.

Willow Salix is my author name, I had to choose that because my Pagan name (which I was writing under and still do on ff and a03) was too well known and my stalkers were reporting it every time I made a new account.

I had to come to love this name, come to see it as myself (willow is my actual real name btw) and feel comfortable with it. It's taken a long time, I've built my brand from it. I have five novels out under it. And to think of someone having an account with even a parody of that name gave me all sorts of chills.

I'm OK now, but yeah. Fun times.

So I guess... I just want people to talk to me. And I don't mean shine by ego lol, I mean that if I ever do anything to piss you off. If I ever say anything you don't like. If I ever annoy you with Selene or anything at all, PLEASE just come and talk to me.

I might put on a tough mask, and in general I am pretty hardy, but I'm a typical cancerian, hard outer shell, squishy inside.

Selene is my sanity in a home life that is far from easy, I won't go into major details but disabled husband, I'm a full time carer, he's majorly depressed and it's just... Yeah. Anyway, she's my refuge, she's my escape right now.

Actually making a side blog for her took so much guts, to allow her free rein to speak and act is scary as heck for me. Because I've been there and vowed to never go back.

The only good thing I took out of all my years of rp, apart from being able to make up a story pretty much on the spot, spontaneous replies, dialogue skills and character development, is my best friend in all the world @endellionaeternus who has seen it all and stuck by me through it all.

I have no real idea why I just typed all this, I guess I needed people to see where I'm coming from, and why Selene exists.

Yeah...

#oc roleplay #oc rp #selene tempest #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds 2015 #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds fandom #paranormalromance #john tracy

[higgins5]

Tag game

Oof, this is so so late, but I am doing it! And thank you to the lovely @foxsoulcourt for tagging me!

LAST

drink: Water, we are being healthy children here 

phone call: My District Manager at work to discuss my transfer

text message: One of my best friends about his terrible life choices (jk but really binge watching a show for 14 hours straight? Boy get to sleep!)

song you listened to: I’m Over You by Bryan James (it may or may not have been on loop for a while)

time you cried: Last Thursday 

EVER

dated someone twice: Haha, yep. Didn’t work out, but we’re still friends

kissed someone and regretted it: Not yet!

been cheated on: Unfortunately

lost someone special: I think we all have, but such is life

gotten drunk and thrown up: Oh god no

fave colors? Sea green, storm gray, oh I can’t believe i almost forgot! Really any deep blue or purple, like how the night sky gets just before it’s almost black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE I?

made new friends: Multiple, and i am so greatly for all of the lovely people who have graced my life

fallen out of love: Not so much people. But things I believed I loved turned a little false, yes

laughed until you cried: Gosh, all the time. It’s awful, I call it my seal laugh because I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe and i’m just doubled over hitting a table or my leg to express my joy because that’s all I can do

found out someone was talking about you: Just two weeks ago! And honestly I hate that. Like if you’re gonna talk bad about me just do it to my face. I’ll find out one way or another, might as well be from you

met someone who changed you: Some good people, some not so good people. But I believe it was all for a reason

found out who your friends are: Yes

kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: Hmm... Well, I do not actually have a Facebook so I guess that would be a no

GENERAL

how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I guess I can clarify about FB here. My parents were always freaked out about the internet so never let me get one, and being a good child I never did- plus I was just not interested, so I just... never got around to it in adulthood. AND like whenever I needed to talk to a friend through FB I just used my parents page cause that was their solution, so there was no real need. But like, from the friends I had on my mom’s page yes, I know all of them irl

do you have any pets: SEVERAL AND I LOVE ALL OF MY FURRY CHILDREN! I have an 11yo poodle/terrier mix (mom was a poodle, dad was the terrier next door. Truly a scandal) named Bear and i love my grumpy old man to death; a 2yo boxer/husky mix we rescued that was originally supposed to be a lab which was a total lie named Nutmeg, but it’s okay I love my babe even if i can take her on a 3mi run and she’s still ready to run 3 more; an 8yo wonderfully affectionate and beautiful tabby cat named Willow; a 6 year old (oh my god, she’s 6, it feels like yesterday she was a satellite dish in a collar that meowed) purring machine tabby cat named Sage; and two beautiful girls. Lagertha and Gwenievere are two very playful and loving one year old dumbo eared rats

do you want to change your name: Eh, not really. I’ve had it for this long, might as well keep it

what did you do for your last birthday: Oh that was so fun. I went to the Melting pot (this fancy fondue place, so good) With a couple of friends and had a really great time, even though someone got me crayons as a gag gift (I.... hate, crayons with a PASSION, but she’s known me for like 10 years so of course I accepted.... hesitantly)

what time did you wake up today: Like 7:30? but i didn’t actually leave my bed until 9ish because don’t be fooled, I am not a morning person. I just run because I’m an idiot

what were you doing last night at midnight: Sleeping

what is something you can’t wait for: Figure out where life is taking me and then be a bomb ass bitch at it

what are you listening to right now: X&Y by Coldplay

have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I have, and he is a lovely person. Go talk to a Tom everybody, nice people

something that gets on your nerves: Horrible people. Like just those people that are horrible for no absolute reason. Like grow up, get a life, why do you have to make other people just because you’re unhappy. there are many people you could see for help and I have a number you can call if you need a recommendation 

most visited website: Probably a tie between Tumblr, Youtube, and Spotify

hair color: Well, naturally I am blonde but rn it’s a reddish auburn color (but hey, people ask me all the time if it’s my natural color so who knows maybe i was destined for this shade)

long or short hair: ish? It’s growing from a pixie (that I might go back to soon) so its like... not quite shoulder length yet but give it another month and we might be there

what do you like about yourself: You know what, i’m gonna give myself some love and say everything. Lol, but as a serious answer probably my personality/nature. I have a very big heart but am also incredibly sarcastic so it is a delicate balance 

want any piercings: SO many. I’m saving up to get my nose done soon (nostril) and later I’ll get my daith, helix, third piercing in my lobe, tragus, and maybe rook

blood type: Some kinda O? Honestly for someone who donates blood as much as I do, I should really know (but important blood donation note, if you wish to make sure not to do it too frequently! Healthy people = healthy blood = healthy donation receivers!)

nicknames: Gosh, too many to type. Apparently I’m just nick namey. But uhhh, the most common: Ash, Ashbash, Higgins, Higgy, Higgs, Figgins, Chief 

relationship status: Single

zodiac sign: I’m one of the twin fish babes, Pisces all the way

pronouns: She/Her

fave tv show: Don’t watch as much tv as I used to but Supernatural is always a good go to (recently I’ve been watching a lot of HGTv and doctor Phil and Hallmark with my mom though, if that’s anything)

tattoos: None (yet)

right or left handed: right handed, I’m basically useless with my left (unless an instrument is involved)

ever had surgery: Nope, and hopefully we keep that trend goin!

piercings: two ear piercings 

sports: Uh... in High School I was pretty active and track and I was a competitive shooter (air rifles- but I’m from Texas so). Nothing in college at the moment, I might try out for the track team just cause i miss bein a part of stuff

vacation: I am broke, I can only dream (but I do really wanna travel, so gotta save up!)

trainers: my totally stylish suede brown vans are my go to, but Adidas for running

eating: Currently? Nothing, but I did have some steamed broccoli and carrots&rice, and grilled chicken for dinner

drinking: Orange Juice

I’m about to watch: Absolutely nothing

waiting for: Didn’t I already answer this? it’s so much pressure. Uh... change?

want: To be successful in whatever I 

get married: Eventually

career: Haven’t gotten there yet, but everyday is one step closer

hugs or kisses: Depends on who and when

lips or eyes: Eyes. First thing I notice

shorter or taller: At 5′3 I don’t think I can even pretend to say i’m tall

older or younger: I probably fall more on the younger spectrum

nice arms or stomach: Yes

hookup or relationships: I am a committed relationship kinda person all the way. Never really understood the whole hookup thing but to each their own

troublemaker or hesitant: A hesitant troublemaker is probably more me. I say I try to stay out of trouble, but it just kinda finds me

HAVE I EVER?

kissed a stranger: No

drunk hard liquor: Yes

lost glasses: Ugh, all the time, worst is when I lose my contacts AND glasses

turned someone down: Yes

sex on the first date: Not my style

broken someone’s heart: Yes

had your heart broken: In love and life

been arrested: Nope, and i’d like to keep it that way!

cried when someone died: Yes

fallen for a friend: Yes

DO I BELIEVE IN?

yourself: Well someone has to, so might as well be me!

miracles: I do. And if they aren’t true, at least the belief of their existence helps make their outcome possible

love at first sight: In some fairytale world maybe, but for me, nah

kiss on the first date: Possibly

angels: Yes. Of what way and form I think that’s for you to decide

OTHER

best friend’s name: I have a couple because there is too much life to only need one person in it! Lexi+Brittany+Mauricio+Imaya from all the way back to middle school and Ronan (a recent addition)

And even if we don’t talk every day of our lives I know they’ll always be there for me when I need them. Good or bad. And they know I would do the same. That’s all that really matters in the end. They’re my little chosen family

(oh that got a bit sappy, okay moving on)

eye color: Light blue? Blue? I dunno, people say it’s pretty so I go with it

fave movie: Don’t really have one...

favorite actor: Yeah... same with movies, don’t have one of those either

extrovert or introvert: I like to call myself an introverted extrovert

favorite flower: white peonies 

favorite hello kitty character? I wasn’t aware there were characters aside from hello kitty....

oof this is a long post, but very fun to do! Hopefully y’all haven’t done this yet but if so well I’m gonna tag you anyways @i-h8-u-no-u-dont @pansexualpandion @rvmengf @egglorru @it-has-the-gay-fanfiction and really @ anyone who wants to do this! I’d love to see your versions!!

#tag game #personal #honestly these are always so fun #and i am legit just like knocking out everything i never did #its been so long #terribly sorry my loves #im still alive i swear #i said oof at the top and bottom! maybe thats just my thing #oof

[enniewritesathing]

57 Facts

I was tagged by the lovely @pink-chevalier, thank you ❤❤

Let’s see if I got 57 facts in me, lol.

My car, Sheila, is a stick shift. I’ve been dirving stick since I was 19. My dad taught me and I got it down within a day. The hardest part is stopping/going on a hill.

My favorite color is blue, but I love the darker shades of blue. They speak to me. (And they also taste good no matter what it is).

I’m 30, but I look half my age. At least according to everybody. It’s a curse. And don’t give me that, “but that’s good~”. 

I won a Xbox One X from Taco Bell last year. I’m just as surprised as you are. I’m gonna try and see if I can win the white one this year, lol.

My Steam queue and game queue in general? It’s outrageous. 

I served in the military (Air Force). I fixed radio equipment and antennas. 

For almost 3 years because I have really bad shins.

I lived in Germany when I was 2months - 4 years old. I don’t remember any of it, but we have a lot of pictures.

I got kicked out of a major university marching band because I was frustrated with a lot of things and I may have made a F-bomb laced post. (And I talked to the higher ups about stuff but they didn’t listen/did nothing about it). Someone snitched on me; still don’t know who did it. This was back when FB was college-only.

I played the clarinet from 6th grade up until that point. Should have taken up saxophone if I’m gonna be honest.

And then like a semester later, I flunked out. 

When I make OCs, I put a lot of thought into them.

I had a tough love approach to making them, but I'm way gentler now. Mostly.

I tend to make them in pairs? Or eventually they end up being together, lol. I think one pair is married?? But they all tend to have old married couple traits, I think. They *clearly* love each other.

I would make them in TS4, but I forgot what they look like... 😟

I'm 5'0.

I powerlift! Which is *very* different from Olympic Weightlifting! And bodybuilding is completely unrelated to both!

I don't look the part though. Powerlifting brings all sorts of body types.

I've been competing in the 84kg weight class for 3 years, and counting.

I've won 1 1st place, and 3 2nd place medals.

My total right now is about 610lbs for all three lifts. I've got a ways to go to start competing on regionals/nationals.

I have a meet on Saturday and I'm super nervous about it, lol.

I'm single, not sure how to mingle, and at this point... kinda don't want to?

Never really been in a relationship; some times I'm alright with this other times I'm cursing the universe.

I'm demisexual, or, somewhere on the ace spectrum. Demi fits me the most currently. (What's up my fellow aces 🖐)

I'm not aro tho. Give me that romantic shit!!!

Didn't figure this out until I was a whole ass 25 years old, and I found out via here and my hella good friend! And it's been a goddamn ride.

Now that I think about it, Brian is (most likely, but he may be grey-A) demi. I think. Probably.

I've known my good friend for 20 years? Almost 20 years! They have a tumblr too and of course we're mutuals and I love them to bits :>

I'm pretty shy.

I *do* have a type. Well, types, but I do love characters that are strong as hell, but also really sweet??? Like they can fuck you up, but also loves baby cats. A "bad boy" but a sweet boy.

Physically?? Oof. I have a tag on my main that's like my jam, aesthetic wise. They're so handsome. But my fav body type is actually the "lumberjack' build. I like a little beef ~_~

I started making poses because a lot of poses didn't fit my boys/very slim pickings and hardly nothing spicy wise, and I could never find anything super specific that I wanted.

I pretty much learned on my own through a LOT of practice with the Pose Helper. There was like one tutorial using the pose helper, and that was it. Lots of trial and error. If you really want to go through it, go through my ts4 pose wip tag. Like alllll the way back. It was a rocky start.

I do the NSFW/spicy poses in cycles. Basically, when the mood strikes me. I'm not sure what theme I'm gonna go with for the next one though. I've been wanting to do some stripper poses, but also light bondage or something. Hmm...🤔

I do enjoy making them, but 😳

My favorite pose set is probably Bare Knuckle because, at the time, the most complex thing I made and I'm super proud of it. The idea of fighting a literal demon just... came up lol. I am considering doing another Muay Thai centered pose set, but pic refs are hard to come by. The one I used for BK deactivated :(

I use a lot of refs. It's very okay to use refs! Sometimes I have to adjust them to accommodate male frames.

I have a weighted blanket and it's fantastic and if you're able to get one, I SUPER recommend it.

I was born 2 weeks late. Yeah, lol. Sorry, mom.

I have an older half brother. He's out there doing... stuff.

I have 4 nephews. That I know of.

Up until last year, I was the only granddaughter of my grandma. Now I'm the oldest!

I am older than my uncle by 4/5 years. (He was a late/surprise baby lol)

I have a bad habit of making faces. I am *very* expressive. Basically, I'm a walking reaction gif, lol. And I have gotten in trouble when I was younger.

I know how to read maps. Like actual road maps, and I can navigate by sight too. When I was younger, my dad gave me the role on long trips to help me read and know geography. I don't get lost.

I'm pretty hungry right now...

I used to play DDR. Like, an absurd amount of it, allll the way back when Max2/Extreme came out. Now? I play when I can.

Not as good as I used to be, stamina wise, but I still get ridiculously high grades/marksbn on songs. The highest difficulty rating I was at when I peaked was 16s. That's out of a 20 scale. Now? I'm lucky to clear a 13/14. There's a HUGE skill difference.

I have trouble verbalizing things in general. When I'm writing/typing, I'm fine. But speaking?? Forget it.

I am a naturally quiet person, which tends to unnerve a lot of people? I just don't have much to say on a lot of things.

People tell me some wild shit, but uh, I forget because I have a shitty memory and attention span.

Never been in a fight, but I did punch this bully that was messing with me back in kindergarten right in the stomach. Just dropped him. My dad taught me :>

I've been on Tumblr for a LONG ass time... since 2010. I've seen shit. This blog is I think 6 years old? But only 3ish years since it became a simblr, hence the name. It was for my writings at first but ~nobody came~.

I really do love making poses, yall. Even on days where I'm feeling crummy, I try and do one pose. Don't matter what it is.

Every time I get a message saying that my posts/cc brightens someone's day, it makes my whole damn week. Thank you for nice words. I still have an anon message that was sent months ago, saying they really love John and Brian's relationship with each other, and depicting what love is. Thank you, anon 😭😭😭

I love and appreciate every one of ya'll. Thank you for following me and sticking around with this small simblr. :)

57 is a LOT, but I somehow did it. If you wanna do it, considered yourself tagged. If not, that's cool, and if you read all of the facts... congrats, lol.

#a text post #non sims #long post #tag meme

[tc-lovins]

doing these bc i dont want to work n i want to gush

1. Have you ever had any TCs before? If yes, describe them very briefly Well yeah. T, he’s lacking in hair and used to be very rotund. He’s lost a lot of weight this year. B was my old bio teacher who I had more of a friend crush on than anything. M wasn’t even one of my teachers but her and I were close. My first ever TC, her name was G. That was in first grade. I was doomed early

2. What is the main thing that attracted you to them? Bro I have no fuckin clue. He’s just hella cute and I like his face n personality.

3. In an ideal world where you’re similar ages, they’re not your teacher and they return your feelings, how far would you like your relationship with them to go? (Friends, dating, marriage., etc.) I’d die with him

4. How much of your attraction to them is sexual, romantic, platonic, aesthetic or admiration? Mostly romantic lol

5. Have you found them on social media? If yes, have any of their posts caught your attention? Ya we have each other added virtually everywhere. Snap, twitter, fb, instagram, etc.

6. What is one song that makes you instantly think of your TC? Any Linkin Park song. He loves LP

7. At this current moment in time, what is your relationship like and how close to them are you? We talk once a week. An improvement from once every some months lol We are slowly getting close again,,,,

8. If they hugged you, how do you think you would react? I’d cry tbh I’m an emotional mess this week thanks to my meds

9. Have they ever said or done anything which gave you the ick? He did the ol scratch n sniff thing years ago and I cant get it out of my head. Also told me out of the blue one day “I have to shit”. Like congrats? do u want an award??

10. How do other students generally see your TC? Are they well liked or seen to be disliked a lot? He isn’t very liked by student or staff lmfao

11. Have you ever felt jealous when you saw them with another student? If so, why? Not really

12. How do you think they see you? Do they appear to have a good opinion of you? I think he has good opinions. I hope he at least sees me as a friend

13. If your TC had to teach something else, what subject would you choose for them? Nothing he isnt that great at teaching,,,

14. What do you think a typical evening looks like for them? Working out and playing with his dog

15. Has your TC taken any holidays which you know about? If yes, where did they go and what did they do? He travels for these events he does. He’s going away this weekend across the country.

16. If you got the opportunity to have a date with them, where would you go and what would you do together? Well we used to dine sometimes for dates or just walk around the city. Sometimes even go hiking. I don’t think it would change

17. What’s the weirdest dream you’ve had about them? I had a dream the other night that we did our sport thing again with the old team. He asked me to go with him to grab something at his house. He had a truck, which was unusual bc he doesnt own a truck. Get to his house and my bff is there. She tells me his house is a fuckin mess. He comes back down and we leave. Back w the team and they are mad at me. I demand to know why and they shit on me for being with him. Even though he asked me to go. I got so mad. Someone woke me up to go to the auto store and I swung at them as I got up lol

18. What do they usually sit like while teaching? Normal? Sometimes with crossed legs

19. If known, how long have they been teaching for? 15+ years

20. Have you got any pictures of them? If yes, how did you get them? So many looool Lots of us, some of just him. He is too dang cute. He sends them to me sometimes

21. If you could tell them one thing with no limits, what would it be? “pls get back with me” but just staring at him bc I dont have the balls to speak to him anymore

22. How are you dealing with your feelings for them? Are you pulling away or getting closer to them? I swing wildly between both. I take it out in dreams and drawings. And long drives. I have a muscle car so I like to push my limits on the highway

23. If you heard your TC was now famous, what do you think it would be for? Nothing positive lol

24. If you could get them anything as a Christmas gift, what would you choose and why? I got him something!!! He really likes this one anime. I got him an art book from that, two ties from defunct airlines, and these 2 little airline souvenirs from an airline that he shares a name with. The mints from the one souvenirs are from 2008. I tried one. 0/10. Really digsusting

25. Does your TC like Christmas? He does but hates the cold/snow,

26. If known, what are your TCs political beliefs? We never really discussed this

27. Does your TC set much homework? YEAH he’d always give us the longest ones too. I miss it tbh

28. Do you know if any other student has a crush on your TC? Absolutely but they can FUCK OFF he’s gonna be mine again. Jokes on you losers I was here first and I’m old enough >:3c

29. Is your TC currently dating anyone to your knowledge? I have done extensive research and got mixed answers. I’m gonna assume no bc he NEVER posts about it

30. If your TC was a colour, what colour would they be and why? Orange. Just because.

31. In the new year, how would you like your TCs class to progress? I haven’t been in school in nearly a decade dawg

#t #answer prompt//

[thebigmick284]

Thoughts on OUAT ending.

Big messy post and quick thoughts ahead!

It’s long past time (5 years IMO) that it should have ended. I have never seen a show nose-dive in quality so much... yet I kept watching and will till the end. Maybe Adam and Eddy’s message of ‘hope’ got to me, haha...

I still remember watching the Australian premiere of the pilot back in early 2012. Curious but unsure. I was only a casual watcher in S1, it didn’t fully grab me. I don’t really have too many memories of S1 apart from being invested in the Rumple/Bae storyline. These two really sold the papa/son relationship. Nowadays I do think it’s overall the best season although the fandom overrates it to the extreme at times.

Come the announcement of Captain Hook in that S2 comic con promo and I became more intrigued as the story of Peter Pan has been with me for as long as I can remember. I slowly became more hooked (ha) during 2A and remember not actually being too impressed with Hook at first. I wanted Captain James Hook, what was this Killain Jones BS? This is was where I first started looking around at the Tumblr fandom and it was still a shit storm back then so I kept to myself.

I remember being excited we would finally see adult Bae.... and then disappointment as he went underutilised. I actually remember being happy Neal and Emma admitted their love because I thought the SQers would realize that SQ isn’t the story they are telling and stop their bullying. I was really enjoying myself with the show, it was really great escapism. It made me believe that there could be parallel fairy tale worlds out there, haha. Especially as I was going through a lot of personal things. Again, I tried to stay out of the fandom drama but was disappointed people I found only really wanted to talk about shipping.

 But my fanboying reached overdrive when this promo came out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ihi_5gXAMOU

Holy crap that shadow! Wendy Darling! Neverland! I actually dared and interacted with the fandom after that. In combination with that fantastic goosebump inducing ending of S2 here, ‘Peter Pan Never Fails’-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRbG42dmGCw

I was ecstatic. I started liking O’Donoghue’s Hook too at this point. He had all the elements of Barrie’s Hook with OUAT’s own twist and when I rewatched his scenes, I found I enjoyed him so much more.

My excitement for S3 was probably the most invested I was in the show. I even started a blog where I posted reviews and stuff- Storybrooke Clock Tower and I think I had 1000 followers. I even sent and received a message from Parker Croft who played Felix. I could NOT wait for S3 to start.

Season 3 was just pure joy for me. They delivered by large and beyond what I had hoped for with their promise of a darker Neverland arc. Robbie Kay, again, someone I was worried about, blew me away. I just remember my thoughts after that final scene of 3x01 and then that ELECTRIFYING sneak peak of 3x02 with Pan sizing up Emma. Holy shit! This kid was sooooo good as Peter Pan, his intensity, that child like charm, having a British accent, his cocky confidence. I was in Pan heaven!

I even love 3B and it reminded me of how much I used to love the 30′s Wizard of Oz movie. I still maintain this was a great arc, it had the best visuals of the series- look at the Oz sets, how good the flying monkeys looked, all the characters still felt like themselves and had things to do, the missing year instead of tired flashbacks and the CS movie at the end.  Lots of fantastic material 

Oh and how could I forget OUATIW which also aired at this time. Starting off a little shaky (I remember the fan complaints) it just went from strength to strength and was a hugely enjoyable spin-off. Again, It reminded me of how much I loved Jafar as a kid and all that Aladdin mythology.

S3 was just a fantastic time to be a Oncer. But after the CS movie I had a funny feeling. It felt like it should have ended right there. With that final montage, with Rumple and Belle’s vows echoing the character arcs of the whole cast...It really felt concluded.

Still I watched on, nervous with the Frozen arc because it felt more like a financial decision rather then creative. I remember coming home after the CS movie aired and wanting to spoil myself so I checked FB and saw ‘Frozen is coming to OUAT’ and I was like... really? really?

Around 4A I shut down my old OUAT blog and just used my Bigmick284 one. I started not being afraid of interacting with fandom and used to reblog a lot of confession posts. I was really active on the FB OUAT page too. I fought with a lot of BAs, lol, and was bullied off the site even...

 People I remember getting along with include.

@mrs-emma-swan-jones-  I mention this a lot but...Anyway... You had a different username but I remember chatting with you a lot during early 4A. I still remember watching and smiling to your fangirling CS reaction videos on Youtube and smiling at all your excitement. Holy crap was that was really 4 years ago...

@lessawildmoon- in my quest to find people who loved to discuss CS intelligently and without resulting to bullying I found you. I remember thinking, I wish she would follow me, lol. And then you did! I always love your level headed posts. And for defending me more than once (ha).

@i-will-move-on-in-life- I remember you because you were always positive and someway down the line we found we liked a lot of things and had a lot in common other than OUAT and here we are still chatting and potentially even planning things! 

@seethem-dancing​- I just remember loving your deep and intricate essays which I always enjoyed reading.

To others who I don’t think are here any more such as FIO who I interacted with a lot over the bullying and hypocritical to downright disgusting ways of the fandom.

I’ve probably forgotten people so I am sorry if IhHave.

Fighting BAs and dealing with FB invasions, I felt stronger because I had friends here. Even with things drove me mad and I got personally attacked... I also learnt and researched many important issues such as rape culture. I learnt a lot and changed a lot about my own beliefs.

Even though I think S1-S3 and OUATIW was best, 4A was probably the last time I think OUAT was really enjoyable and I still couldn’t wait to get home and watch. They did a great job with the Frozen cast, I loved all the Emma focus and it was fun. Something sorely missing with 4B onwards which became a chore to watch.

I think the best thing post S4 was the interactions and friends I made with people who still also had hope in the show. People such as

@myst-l-vie​- fellow Aussie and someone who is very passionate about people and her interests.

@stormynoon​- not sure if we talked OUAT I think that’s how we met (but we love\ TWD!)

@zumpie​- helped me enormously when I was bullied off the site and dealing with that.

@chrissascorner- helped me recover after I was bullied

@ deliriumdecadence- not just for OUAT chats but lots of great personal chats.

To you guys who are always around, friendly, and awesome to chat to-

@newyearsswifts​

@ultraericthered​

@awesomechocolatesauce​

@marvelouswhovianfairytales​

@zannereid27​

@fraddit​

@epona610​

@v-jolt

@rubbady-pubbady

@kereeachan

I’ve probably and likely forgot numerous others.

In the end you guys are what was most important during this time. I’ll never forget it!

And I’ll always treasure the first three seasons, OUATIW and bits and pieces from 4-6. It’s taught me a lot of what to do and most certainly not to do in creating a story.

Cheers!

-Mike

#ouat #once upon a time #ending at last #messy thoughts

[pokefanbri]

1st I have to say this b4 I repeat the post from fb. This is a place where I can speak my mind freely without judgement, speak my peace even. Which is exactly what im gonna do so prepare for a read. So think what u want idc, but the last thing I wanna do is tick some1 I know off cause on some level there's a mutual appreciation & respect regardless of my impression. And anyone that reads this isn't obligated to understand my opinion & I dont expect u to. With my brain its my thought process to let information out of my head so I can put things aside, observe & absorb more lol. Writing is another tool or coping mechanism for my anxieties & other psych ailments, treatment for my mental health depends on it & other hobbies in other words, especially during shutdown, something to focus on. Heck even youtube is recommended by my doctor if it keeps me happy lol. But because ill be working again, I may not have time to do alot of things I like sadly..idk i just wouldnt want to be burnt out & focus on more important things. I have a high respect for anyone working around people during this time & it must worrisome for u too, means I have to keep on my toes as well soon..its a scary world out there for an introvert but I was killin it in NY too. It was just a slow steady process with all the limitations & moving my life up there wasn't easy to begin with but I pulled through & did it all...only for it to be taken away.

So, I'm an Irish, German, Canadian,British Mut from tucson. Maternal & paternal immidiate families lineage mixed made me, including my NY blood from my bio dad. The rest is all over Europe but u get the idea. Tucson may be where i was born & my 1st home without a father & raised not knowing (were mardi gras babies btw 😒)

But NY is & will forever be my 2nd home i dont care what any1 says, I felt I belonged there. Its the other half of me quite literally.Theres a memory that's really been bugging me. Last day b4 i left it, a bald eagle flew across my path in the sky no joke going NE & I was departing back to the SW. I chose the eagle years ago cause I identify with it. including the background symbolism in different phases of my life that included them lol, but to actually see one was just amazing.

They symbolize strength+freedom in general despite it standing for the country from sea to shining sea lol. Also Braviary was always in my pokemon team besides pikachu since its gen came out lol. I've always been strong, whether some believe it to be true or not is their problem, only I know the things I've gone through. Point is different ends of the spectrum its always been with me throughout in some way & im glad i got to share it with someone that gave me the freedom I needed.

But yea I experienced what its like to be there & got to know that part of me even if I didn't find him & maybe didnt care...I feel I was meant to be there. I was in touch with my roots, lower Temps & above sea level rather than high temps & below sea level 🤣 I loved everything about my time up there. It'll always be a part of me, & I hope to see it again. But I digress.

But in regards to the relationship itself, emphasizing on what i said b4. Just as it i got "settled" in it was gone & I had no clue what was happening without my knowledge, the whole plan to bring me back, all of it, the whole chain of events that unfolded the way it did starting with leaving a marriage in the 1st place to be with him i mean come on lol. Chasing a dream that didn't play out the way we had hoped. I took leap of faith & I ended up starting over twice in 1 year with no benefit of the doubt. I still have my ny health insurance for the rest of the yr, I have to add it to my list to apply again in az. Ive been wearing the wrong prescription glasses for 6 months under quarantine & they're just now getting to stage 4 of opening lol. Just understand how frustrating that actually is for someone like me & u totally get it 😅 U want to take care of business but sometimes you're limited & gotta work around it. had all that covered there & then was told I settled, wrong thing to say & its no wonder I didn't blow up in his face right there & then 😒. But I have retraint & can control myself. Though it was out of my hands the new relationship didn't have to go sour, been just as long if not more, could've actually thrived given the proper balance with room to grow. Idk, Sometimes I honestly don't think anyone believed in me. I mean I have no debt, no record, no kids, im a clean slate type of girl lol. Yes I did end up feeling unappreciated, underestimated, a bit neglected, insecure about my body, ashamed for being myself, & I shouldn't have to feel that way at all & if that happens there obviously something off. I just didnt know what it is he wanted & needed, i wanted to help & be a good partner to this dude but why is it bad to ask the same in return? I shouldn't have to drastically change myself to fit someones standard i know, but...i needed the old him back, I missed the old us & wanted to get back to that.. Was always so closed off & probably ended up in his own head who knows, maybe there was guilt for some of the things he did & didnt want to hurt me anymore, spare my feelings any more than it did b4 it was too late.idk whatever the excuse i still don't know what triggered it all to fail so easily & i don't think i ever will. But ending up with the conclusion that I was the problem, its narcissistic to even believe that & i won't accept it. Not when he can't confront his own issuse & put blame onto himself too.. it was a low blow & literally felt like my heart was pierced at the sound of it. If im to blame its the other way around as well. My point of view wasn't acknowledged so this is my take & experiences of happened so plz dont hate me for speaking my truth.

But yea I can tell when somethings not right & feel strong empathy for others emotions. I knew something was different, there were signs everywhere since the mistrust started & during the last half of that time with him I questioned everything but sat in my own headspace as well as he did just thinking about it. If anything we failed eachother, the blame is on us both but idk what else i could've done to get through to him. That's the stubbornness, he wouldn't budge. Despite how things went down..Leaves me to think, what was the point of having me there in the 1st place, to not follow through with our shared hopes & dreams but instead spiral into such resentment for me that the interest faded. But at the at the same time...even if it ended early for him, I didn't give up & I fought to keep us okay which it was for the most part. Hindsight is 20/20, it definitely wasn't negative all the time. In fact things were great between us & acted like goofballs together, that right there is a friend despite if the stronger feelings weren't mutual. Nobody with hate in their heart acts like that, he was good, the best, cheered me up when I was down, shared interests & did things for eachother. But that alone makes me question what was truth & what was fiction sometimes ever since the trust between us started to fade. Am I in the right to feel what im feeling right now? Im angry & upset yes very, but the kindness he had throughout..he did care in his own way...which makes things so much harder.

Tripadoodle if some way you're listening, I hope u know now where im coming from. For your own benefit & quest to be a better man like you always wanted...actually try. Head my advice. Making yourself better shouldn't be put on a womans shoulders to do for u without her getting lifted in return...its alot of weight to handle for 1 person to carry lol. Get off your ass & build on yourself, learn from everything that happened & become better for yourself & the sake of others, Because it starts with u. Go to church if possible or watch them, it really does help. Even from across the country I still want u to do just as good & help u as a friend. You promised we could remain friends & im holding my end of the bargain whether u like it or not lol it was your idea during the ride here. All I wanted in the end was to not lose u in my life completely...but i should be patient i know.. Theres more space, im not contacting u directly & respecting that, eventually ill stfu lol but I feel I need this rn. I should hate u,but I cant hate u, I do still care, u had that affect on me so much that I can't really listen to others when they say ur a douchbag lol, u were still my rock the whole time even if u didn't feel the same after a while & u did help me alot as well. I see the good in people & u are good, with well balanced snarkiness & humorous sass to boot. light a fire under ur own ass & ull be okay lol. Never stopped believing in u. Ive seen what you can do, you're very smart & know your sh*t, u will go far lol. And as a friend I'd lend u my strength if I could but the most I can do is pray for things like safety/protection, healing, forgiveness, guidance, etc. Leave it to God if u feel compelled to. Give zanabell a hug for me.

God i talk way too much 😅 No im not doing any of this for attention, I want my voice to be heard as well as a possible learning experience if it had that effect on anyone. The things we learn build character & help us understand a little more about ourselves. Probably shouldn't share cuz its nobody's business, yea ive thought of that too.. But its a blog lol, Tumblr allowed it to be that space, opinions and rants are allowed & encouraged. Nothing wrong with that 🤷‍♀️ so who gives a crap.

These are pictures of the NY sunrise & AZ sunset. Clouds always get me cuz of the shapes, used to to take pics of them all the time. once saw mario holding a hammer when I was a kid 😂 3rd & 4th pic is a split rainbow, never seen that b4...either someone found the gold or its deciding whether or not to connect. Probably was connected but I missed it lol. But then I looked behind me after the split 1 disappeared & a double rainbow was forming. Nature can be scary but also beautiful

[yujachachacha]

Get to know me

Tagged by @symphonyalpha​ (I forgot the URL for a second and was like, “Why isn’t Jaewhy showing up when I type it in the user mention???” lol).

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

Last: 1. Drink: Barley water, because that’s what my family drinks ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 2. Phone call: My grandma, telling me what time she needed me to drive her to her doctor’s appointment. 3. Text message: To my little brother, telling him to STFU because he kept sending me dumb shit on iMessage. 4. Song you listened to: Does SIF count? If so, “Sore wa Bokutachi no Kiseki”. If not, I was headbanging to “Paradise Lost” by Chihara Minori after dropping my grandma off at her friend’s place the other day, lol. 5. Time you cried: tbh I probably teared up a little when I was watching the footage from the Lantis preview of the Aqours 1st Live BD/DVDs ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇωஇﾟ)ﾟ｡

Have you: 6. Dated someone twice: I haven’t even dated someone once :’))) 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I’ve kissed exactly one person, so...hm. There was a period of time when I had conflicting emotions over what happened, but in the end, I don’t think I regret it. 8. Been cheated on: See #6. 9. Lost someone special: I’ve had a grandfather pass away, and this is probably going to sound bad, but...I really appreciated him, and he was nothing but kind to me. However, since I’d only seen him about three times in my life, the biggest way his death affected me was through my mother. It took her a while to get over my grandfather’s death, so it changed the way I behaved around her during that time. 10. Been depressed: Yes. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Exactly once, because I made the mistake of keeping pace with my uncle in Korea who takes soju shots like a champ. This also happened to be the night before Lunar New Year, so I got chewed out by my aunt (older sister of my uncle) once she realized why I was so lethargic during the festivities. _(:3 」∠)_ I don’t regret it though, because before that I had never been hungover before and was wondering what my limit was, haha.

List 3 favorite colors: 12-14. Red, blue, and...uh...other than those two I don’t have any definite faves. I guess the third would be either yellow or purple...? I’ll just go with purple for the sake of completion.

In the last year have you: 15. Made new friends: #TeamONIBE 16. Fallen out of love: That would require me to fall in love with someone first. 17. Laughed until you cried: I think it might have been when Mayushii and King did that disastrous cooking niconama. Like...what the actual fuck, do they seriously not know anything about basic kitchen safety and hygiene??? 18. Found out someone was talking about you: The number of times I’ve gone on to Discord and found out that someone in ONIBE was talkin’ smack about me... (｡･ˇ_ˇ･｡) It’s all in good fun though, haha. 19. Met someone who changed you: See #15. 20. Found out who your friends are: Nothing says "friendship” like screaming your heart out at an anisong concert, eating McNuggets while insanely drunk, sleeping while squished together in a seedy neighborhood, wotaing loudly in a moving vehicle, and other various activities I did with people I had never met in real life. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ AX 2017 was hella great for ONIBE bonding. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don’t think I’ve even used FB for non-work stuff since 2016 lol

General: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: If this means “I’ve actually met them in person and have had a decent conversation with them”, then maybe a few hundred? But if this means that I actually talk to them on a semi-regular basis, then, like...10, maybe. :’) 23. Do you have any pets: See my answer in the previous chain post I did. tl;dr I had a turtle and a dog in elementary school, but after that, no pets. I’d like to have a dog when I get a place of my own, though. 24. Do you want to change your name: Nope. 25. What did you do for your last birthday: Watched LLS Episode 13 in the morning and ate Korean BBQ in the evening. 26. What time did you wake up: Today? I honestly don’t remember. Sometime before 9? 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Laughing at dumb shit on Twitter and Discord, probably. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: The Delayed Viewing for the 2nd Live for the US! I’m making plans to meet up with ONIBE folks again and it’s gonna be ~L I T~ 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Early in the morning. She was like “lol get up and lose some weight” while I was still in bed so I groaned back, “You’re one to talk,” and went back to sleep. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I was gonna say “how about eliminating my student loans haha” but I suppose this is supposed to be a more serious question. I guess it’d be nice if I was a neater person. Like, my room is a total mess right now and I’m terrible at keeping track of things I should be working on... 31. Listening right now: Fun fact - I actually only listen to music while I’m driving. Otherwise, it distracts me from what I should be doing. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yup, that was the name of my debate coach when I was in junior high. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: People who hate on LL seiyuu. Like, they’re actual human beings who are working really hard to live up to the expectations of thousands - no, millions of people worldwide. To be quite honest, I invite you to tell me if you legitimately want to shit on any one of them (both µ’s and Aqours), because I have yet to see a single person who has had a good justification for doing so. 34. Most visited website: Probably Tumblr/YouTube/Twitter/Reddit, too lazy to figure out which one of those it is.

Jaewhy put in random questions here because they were missing for some reason, so I guess I’ll continue those: 35. Mole(s): I have a few around my face, but other than the one on my right cheek I don’t think they’re that noticeable? I don’t spend a lot of time in the sun like other Californians. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 36. Mark(s): I have a birthmark on the backside of my right shoulder that I’m sort of self-conscious about. It’s the perfect shape for getting a tattoo of a sunflower around it, so maybe I’ll do that some time in the future? 37. Childhood dream: Lawyer. 38. Hair color: I feel like I’ve answered this in a previous chain post, but it’s black. Duh. Though if you hold it up to the sun, some of the ends are more like dark brown. 39. Long or short: Long. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: See #16. Nope. 41. What do you like about yourself: I’ve spent an unhealthy amount of time staring at computers/video games and I still don’t need glasses. :D 42. Piercings: No, but I should probably get my ears pierced at some point? 43. Blood type: O. 44. Nickname: Yujacha, but a lot of people shorten it to “Yuja”. 45. Relationship status: Single. 46. Zodiac: Libra, Dog. 47. Pronouns: I feel like it’s obvious what gender I am, so just go with those. 48. Favorite TV show: I don’t really watch TV these days, but if I’m kicking back with some hot cocoa at like 2am I might watch Criminal Minds or something. 49. Tattoos: Nope, but like I said in #36 I’ve been thinking about it. 50. Right or left hand: Right. 51. Surgery: Wisdom teeth removal is technically dental surgery. 52. Hair dyed in different color: I had highlights in my hair a few years ago, but they faded real quick. I’m vaguely considering dyeing it brown in the distant future...? 53. Sport: It’s fun to watch the occasional match when there’s a World Cup or Olympic thing going on, but otherwise I have no interest. 54. (A question I came up with since #54 was missing) Extracurricular activities: I was a debate kid for most of my school life, and in college I was in the Korean Club and Student Union. 55. Vacation: Does the 2nd Live DV later this year count? 56. Pair of trainers sneakers *American anthem plays in the distance*: I actually need new ones because I’ve tripped while hiking on at least two separate occasions due to my shitty old sneakers.

More general: 57. Eating: Haven’t yet. 58. Drinking: Wasn’t this literally the first question? 59. I’m about to: Eat. 60. (This question was missing so I'll make one up again) Thinking about: What to eat lol 61. Waiting for: 2nd Live DV~ 62. Want: Money tbh 63. Get married: I’d like to at some point, but at the moment I’m kinda tired of hearing about it from every middle-aged woman who talks to me (including my own mother). 64. Career: Working on it.

Which is better: 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs, because they’re warm and comfy and can be shared by complete strangers. 66. Lips or eyes: I was gonna repeat a previous answer and say “eyesmiles” but since this is “lips or eyes” rather than “smiles or eyes”, I guess my answer would fall more under “eyes”. 67. Shorter or taller: Bruh, if someone’s shorter than me then I’d need to check their ID to make sure they’re not jailbait. Taller. 68. Older or younger: I’ve never dated anyone so I honestly wouldn’t know, but I’d probably look for someone close to my age first? 69. (Lmao why was 69 missing :3c I’ll just make something up again) Outgoing or shy: The former, since I’m lazy. If someone doesn’t drag me to places I’ll just lay in bed all day. 70. Nice arms or stomach: It’s actually really hard for females to have a toned stomach, so any gals with abs are like ooh~ 👀 But I actually like hands! I have smol stubby fingers so I really dig people with nice hands. 71. Sensitive or loud: The former, because I don’t need the entire neighborhood to know when I’m gettin’ laid kthnx 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship, because sure why not? 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Maybe the former, but if they’re being too much of a lil’ shit then I’d go for the latter instead. I’ve dealt with friends who take like 20 minutes to decide what to order from a menu so I know that feel. :’)

Have you ever: 74. Kissed a stranger: Nope. 75. Drank hard liquor: Yup. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I’m pretty sure I annoyed half of ONIBE during AX when I went “haha y’all are blind af” after I found out I was pretty much the only one who didn’t have corrected vision. 77. Turned someone down: I was about to say “no” and then I got a sudden flashback to a certain incident in college, wow thanks for making me remember something I had tried to forget...sooo, uh, yup. 78. Sex on the first date: See #6. 79. Broken someone’s heart: IDK if turning someone down counts as breaking their heart. 80. Had your heart broken: ...yes. I think? 81. Been arrested: Nope. 82. Cried when someone died: Do fictional characters count? 83. Fallen for a friend: Uhhhhh...kind of? It was complicated.

Do you believe in: 84. Yourself: I’d like to think that I do. 85. Miracles: KISEKI DA YO~ ...sorry, I had to. Yeah. 86. Love at first sight: Shukashuu is living proof of this. 87. Santa Claus: Nope, sorry Maki!!! 88. Kiss on the first date: Sure.

Other: 90. Current best friend(s) name: IDK if I have one. :’) 91. Eye color: I’m Asian, take a wild guess. 92. Favorite movie: I don’t really have a favorite, but I did like “Kimi no Na wa.” (Your name.) so much that I made it my phone’s lock screen.

Tagging: I've only tagged people the first time I did one of these and I’m gonna try to keep it that way. If anyone who reads this wants to give it a go, feel free~

#yujachat #chain post #queuetie panther #edited the words from british to american english spelling BECAUSE I CAN HAHA #are these even interesting to people why would u wanna know about boring old me

[kwanfairy]

92 STATEMENT POST

ahh i love these and i havent done any in so long so thanks so much for tagging me honey <3

The Last:

1. Drink - water (in case alcoholic was meant it was a berry prosecco)

2. Phone call - mum (which was a huge mistake btw ha)

3. Text message - july 4th to my dad: "i’ll tell you in 5mins” (that sounds so vague lol)

4. Song you listened to - Hyuna-Red

5. Time you cried - yesterday

Have You Ever:

6. Dated someone twice - i cant even find a person to date me once LOL

7. Kissed someone and regretted it - yes

8. Been cheated on - no

9. Lost someone special - yes (if pets count)

10. Been depressed - im diagnosed with it so :))))

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up - yes (and i promised myself it will be the first and last time)

12.-14. List 3 Favorite Colors: black, purple, turquoise

In The Last Year Have You:

15. Made new friends - no (but lost most of my old ones ha lucky me)

16. Fallen out of love - no

17. Laughed until you cried - yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you - no

19. Met someone who changed you - not personally

20. Found out who your friends are - ...yeah (and it was not in a good way)

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list - no

General:

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: 99%

23. Do you have any pets: in my heart, yes <3

24. Do you want to change your name: no

25. What did you do for your last birthday:nothing (i dont usually celebrate it)

26. What time did you wake up: 9:30ish

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: was asleep

28. Name something you can’t wait for: nothing really

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 1 week ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: LOL this would get too depressing so lets skip this one

31. What are you listening to right now: sistar - i like that

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: lol no!

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my depression esp right now

34. Most visited website: i guess fb, youtube and tumblr?

38. Hair color: top my natural dark blonde hair and tips are still the bleached remnants

39. Long or short hair: long

40. Do you have a crush on someone: no

41. What do you like about yourself: my height maybe?? nothing in particular tbh

42. Piercings: only ears

43. Blood type: A+

44. Nickname: nabu, nati (just a handful of ppl are allowed to call me that tho not a big fan)

45. Relationship status: single

46. Zodiac: libra

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite tv show: dont have one i think (i rarely have favourite this or that - if i like it i like it)

49. Tattoos: yes (6)

50. Right or left handed:right (eventho i use my left hand for certain things)

51. Surgery: not with general anaesthetic but technically yes

52. Piercings: still no

53. Sport: no (eventho i should)

55. Vacation: gonna go to berlin soon (not that i really want to tho..)

56. Pairs on trainers: what

More General:

57. Eating - just had pizza and arm choco cake (sometimes i know how to live life)

58. Drinking - water

59. I’m about to - prob watch an ep of goblin

61. Waiting for - nothing

62. Want - so many thigns tbh im a greedy bitch

63. Get married - yes

64. Career - behavioural scientist in a prison or so

65. Hugs or kisses - hugs

66. Lips or eyes - lips

67. Shorter or taller - i dont care

68. Older or younger - dont care either but just not too young/old

70. Nice arms or nice stomach - arms

71. Sensitive or loud - a bit of both

72. Troublemaker or hesitant - troublemaker

Have you ever:

74. Kissed a stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: yes

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no

77. Turned someone down: yes

78. Sex on the first date: no

79. Broken someone’s heart: i think so

80. Had your heart broken: no

81. Been arrested: no

82. Cried when someone died: no one has died yet so

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

Do You Believe In:

84. Yourself: no

85. Miracles: no

86. Love at first sight: yes

87. Santa claus: no

88. Kiss on the first date: sure

89. Angels: no

Other:

90. Current best friend’s name: i suck at this ok gimme some slack..

91. Eye color: green

92. Favorite movie: none (but ‘the handmaiden’ was lit af i really liked it!)

i tag: @vikturikiss @kunpimoody (i know weve never talked but ive seen you in my notifications a lot lately and that makes me happy :) ) @awwfuckno (same here but youre my #1 block b source so!)

none of you lovely ppl have to do this ofc so no pressure!       

#tag game

[exodealer]

Get to know me

Tagged by: @sweetest-song

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST: 1. drink: water 2. phone call: to my mom about three hours ago 3. text message: to courtney, I was ranting about being messaged by some kid while playing siege 4. song you listened to: My Heaven - LODlabs Remix  5. time you cried: ...I can’t recall...  6. date someone twice: I’ve only dated one person more then once 7. kissed someone and regretted it: I only kiss people I want to kiss 8. been cheated on: No. 9. lost someone special: Last year 10. been depressed: Always 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Jenna’s party...I think it was around the beginning of this year?

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14. Red, Black and Lavender 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made friends: yes 16. fallen out of love: Never, I don’t think I’m capable of this tbh...  17. laughed until you cried: definitely  18. found out someone was talking about you: No, not to my knowledge 19. met someone who changed you: Last year? No. 20. found out who your friends are: Yes. 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: No.

GENERAL: 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: I actually deleted my old fb account because I didn’t know half the people on it and that gave me anxiety. On my new account I know everyone. 23. do you have any pets: A dog named Quincy, my ex called him tinsel and that name sorta stuck too. 24. do you want to change your name: NO. 25. what did you do for your last birthday: My mom surprised me and got my friends together for karaoke.  26. what time did you wake up: Weekdays around 0500, Weekends around 1200 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: lmfao playing rainbow 6 siege 28. name something you can’t wait for: eternal sleep 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: about four hours ago 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: A lot of personal stuff. 31. what are you listening to right now: Levitation [ft. Sebastian Plano] on soundcloud 32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Thats my fathers name so you tell me.

33. something that is getting on your nerves: This fucking text post messing up the spacing

34. most visited websites: google, tumblr, fanfiction.net, myanimelist 35-37. (there were no questions asked here) 38. hair color: Naturally a dark brown (basically black) but most of it is bleached blonde right now. 39. long or short hair: medium length, i’m trying to grow it out. 40. do you have a crush on someone: I never really got over my first love, does that count? 41. What do you like about yourself: my eyes 42. piercings: two on each ear 43. blood type: lmfao I think ab? I can’t recall atm 44. nickname: Cat, kitcatbambina, and most commonly by friends: Pussy 45. relationship status: single, sadly. 46. Zodiac: Capricorn 47. pronouns: I don’t have a preference  48. favorite tv show: CSI (nevada) or Supernatural 49. tattoos: Not yet :))))) 50. right or left handed: right 51. surgery: When I was in elementary school I got a splinter in my arm and refused to let my mom take it out. It got super infected and I had to actually have surgery because it was in super deep and had broken into two pieces.  52. piercing: see 42 53. sport: Not currently playing any, but i’ve played basketball for four years, soccer and baseball for two years, cheerleading for one year and track for one year. 54. vacation: hopefully soon, I want to visit my grandma in TN 55. pair of trainers: ...what? lmfao

MORE GENERAL: 56. eating: currently i’m about to go to sleep so nothing 57. drinking: water 58. I’m about to: go to sleep after I complete this 59. waiting for: eternal sleep 60. want to: BE IN A STABLE AND COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP  61. get married: I want to be married by 25 but so far it’s not looking good guys.

62. career: I don’t even know what I want to eat tomorrow for lunch

WHICH IS BETTER: 63. hugs or kisses: Um, I think it depends on the situation and who i’m receiving it from or giving it to. 64. lips or eyes: eyes 65. shorter or taller: couldn’t care less about height. 66. older or younger: older, but i’m also the oldest out of my friends so if the person is younger by a year I wouldn’t mind that. 67. nice arms or nice stomach: No preference? Again, couldn’t care less about this. 68. hook up or relationship: Relationship 69. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  (゜д゜) <- my answer to that face

HAVE YOU EVER: ( @sweetest-song fucked up the format xD)

70. kissed a stranger: yeah

71. drank hard liquor: yeah

72. lost glasses/contact lenses: my glasses!

73. turned someone down: Yes

74. sex on the first date: NO

75. broken someone’s heart: I think so

76. had your heart broken: Yeah

77. been arrested: NO

78. cried when someone died: Yes

79. fallen for a friend: I fell for my best friend in middle school and dated her in high school.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 80. yourself: rarely 81. miracles: not really 82. love at first sight: yes 83. Santa Claus: no 84. kiss on the first date: mixed feelings about this, it depends on who it is 85. angels: i’m buddhist 86-89. ?

OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: Allison, Courtney, Yoojung, Evan, Hanna 91. eye color: Dark Brown, almost black 92. favorite movie: Léon: The Professional and The Iron Giant

i tag: @hyzumiis @mooseontheceiling @zynsky Idk, anyone else that feels like it? lol

#personal #p

[markblush]

92 Q TAG

THIS IS SO LATE I’M SO SORRY!!! BUT THANK U SM FOR TAGGING DEAR FRIEND~~~ @yaballabahiya​

THE LAST …

1. drink: water

2. phone call: my bro

3. text message: “61337 3″ DON’T BE WEIRDED OUT BY THIS CRYPTIC SOUNDING TEXT IT’S WHAT YOU TEXT TO GET WHAT TIME THE BUS IS COMING LmAO

4. song you listened to: lil something - chen & heize THIS SONG IS SUCH A BOP

5. time you cried: I don’t recall! I cry of laughter a lot tho

HAVE YOU EVER …

6. dated someone twice: nope

7. been cheated on: nope

8. kissed someone and regretted it: haven’t had my first kiss yet aHHH

9. lost someone special: yeah

10. been depressed: yeah

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS (12, 13, 14):

LIGHT PINK

LIGHT TURQUOISE

WHITE

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU …

15. made new friends: YEAH MAN

16. fallen out of love: nope

17. laughed until you cried: YEAH

18. found out someone was talking about you: nope

19. met someone who changed you: prob not

20. found out who your true friends are: loWKEY?? NO?

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: nope

GENERAL STUFF

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all except like 4 from tlist

23. do you have any pets: FERRET!!

24. do you want to change your name: nAH

25. what did you do for your last birthday: I usually just celebrate at home

26. what time did you wake up: around 7am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: DOING MY JAPANESE HWK LMAO

28. name something you cannot wait for: THE DAY I GET A 3DS also grad 

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: few hours ago

30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish I could’ve gotten more involved during hs

31. what are you listening to right now: my computer fan LOL

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yep

33. something that is getting on your nerves: my new art teacher dON’T GET ME STARTED 

34. most visited website: fb/youtube

35. elementary school: it’s near my hs lulul

36. high school: IT’S AN AIGHT SCHOOL I’M GRADUATING SOON!!

37. college: i got accepted at a uni but i’m planning on going to an institute

38. hair color: dark brown (pretty much black LOL)

39. long or short hair: long (i’d like to cut it tho!)

40. do you have a crush on someone: irl: kinda on and off BUT ALWAYS PARK JIHOON 

41. what do you like about yourself: im REALLY POSITIVE

42. piercings: ears

43. blood type: here in canada we gotta donate blood to get our blood type but i’m noT OLD ENOUGH TO SO

44. nickname: I HAVE SO MANY some i get called a lot are zo, zoboes, sou, billy, jo, jojo

45. relationship status: single

46. zodiac sign: scorpio

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite tv show: I LOVE HXH and nge but hMMM i also rlly like clarence and I STILL LOVE SPONGEBOB IM ACTUALLY 6 YRS OLD

49. tattoos: none

50. righty or lefty: righty

FIRST …

51. surgery: haven’t had one

52. piercing: ears

53. best friend: B CHU.

54. sport: maybe badminton idk i was never rlly that into sports

55. vacation: philippines

56. pair of sneakers: converse maybe

RIGHT NOW …

57. eating: nothin bUT IM RLLY HUNGRY

58. drinking: water

59. i’m about to: sNEEZE, these spring allergies tho

60. listening to: this vid abt kcon la

61. waiting for: MY HOUSE UPGRADE IN ANIMAL CROSSING LMAO

62. do you want kids: ye maybe two 

63. do you want to get married: YEAH

64: what career do you want: concept artist/illustrator

WHICH IS BETTER …

65. hugs or kisses: hugs BUT I’M SURE BOTH ARE NICE

66. lips or eyes: eyes

67. shorter or taller: taller

68. older or younger: older

70. nice arms or nice stomach: hMM i’m pretty equal, either or!

71. sensitive or loud: lOUD bc i’m pre’y loud tbh

72. hook up or relationship: relationship

73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER …

74. kissed a stranger: nop

75. drank hard liquor: nop

76. lost glasses/lenses: nope

77. turned someone down: nope, i’M NOT ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH TBH

78. had sex on the first date: nop

79. broken someone’s heart: nop

80. had your heart broken: lowkey not really

81. been arrested: nop

82. cried when someone died: yes

83. fallen for a friend: nop

DO YOU BELIEVE IN …

84. yourself: haha no.

85. miracles: yea

86. love at first sight: A LIL BIT but not really

87. santa claus: hELLLLL YEAH but no boi

88. kiss on the first date: maybe! completely depends on the person

89. angels: idk tbh maybe

OTHER …

90. current best friends name: tbh i just have a lot of acquaintances :( i don’t really have a best friend

91. eye color: dark brown

92. favorite movie: GHIBLIIIIII’S esp spirited away, howl’s & whisper of the heart!, girl who leapt through time, grand budapest hotel, meet the robinsons, all the harry potters, xmen movies aND IDK A LOT I LOVE MOVIES 

ill tag: @taeilsgirlfriend, @jaeminnana, & @mkayjaemin

YOU GUYS DON’T HAVE TO DO IT IF U DON WANT TO!!

feel free to do the tag if you come across this post! ^^

have a great day guys!

#THANK U FOR TAGGING AAAAAA #TAG #PERSONAL

[chickenfetus]

rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people (has anyone actually tagged that many thats wild)

tagged by: @softshouyous​ thank u faln love u

name: megan!!! blood type: im type A too!!!!! buds nickname(s): moonshine (falen), egg, nut (irl ppl bc of my ig being nutfucker69) r/s: im in a r/s with denki atm do not distrub zodiac sign: capricorn!! pronouns: she/her favorite tv shows: spongebob squarepants OR the fairly oddparents but i just realized these r cartoons..whatever…. i havent watched a proper tv show in years lmao long or short hair: like preference or rn bc if its rn its longish?? above my chest still but not above my shoulders height: 154 cm (i grew one cm ha) / i think its still 5′0 LOL do you have a crush on someone: heck.. idk if its a crush or just me being delusional and obsessive but iw ant it gonE what do you like about yourself: i get motivated when ppl do better @ smth im supposed to b good :-) right or left handed: right!!!! list of three favourite colors: sky blue, mint green (wow) and uhM, yellow the pastel kind 

right now: eating: my saliva  drinking: waht r the odds of drinking something right as u see this qn i’m about to: idk i gotta do hw but we’ll see listening to: anywhere but here by mayday parade kids: i have enough fictional ones thanks get married: but i already have lnace? career: tbh im just hoping i mysteriously die b4 i have 2 think abt this

most recent:

drink: water.,, i deadass dont drink anything else phone call: no one,,, i delet my chats + calll history a lot but i dont think ive actually had a conversation on the phone with someone this year lmao song you listened to: the one i said above but right now im listening to this by haniwa its good i promise

have you ever: dated someone twice: i havent even dated once lol been cheated on: no?? kissed someone and regretted it: listn ei am young  lost someone special: literally or just?? friendship wise because friendship wise ya… but if u mean like someone special died then no been depressed: the feeling or the actual thing  been drunk and thrown up: alcohol is not 4 me kissed a stranger: n o had glasses or contacts: ive had glasses since i was 6 lmao wild had sex on the first date: gee i hope not broken someone’s heart: who knows turned someone down: no cried when someone died: im actually p heartless fallen for a friend: who hasnt

in the last year have you: made a new friend: yeah,,,  fallen out of love: i actually ahve no idea what this means laughed until you cried: have i?? probably met someone who changed you: mmm mm found out who your true friends were: im still skeptical  found out someone was talking about you: i hate the end of last year + the start of this year kissed someone on your fb list: i dont even use fb anymore

which is better: lips or eyes: eyes? if i had 2 choose  hugs or kisses: huGSss  shorter or taller: i also prefer taller but shorter is fine too  romantic or spontaneous: ?????? sensitive or loud: anything???? hookup or relationship: relationship  troublemaker or hesitant: thes questions make no snese to me im laughning

first: best friend: jana ruined my life but she was a good friend  surgery: never had one sport i joined: either golf (fucking golf can u believe) or swimming im praying it was the latter vacation: probs 2 malaysia

do you believe in: yourself: lol no im so negative god i need 2 stop bc i think more and more ppl r leaving me bc of that, which is like understandable?? but i wanna change w/o becoming someone im not uHHGHHh hh  miracles: sometimes,, gotta see it 2 believe it love at first sight: nah heaven: maybe

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: uh all probs except for my first online friend  do you have any pets: i want  a d og or cat. .. . do you want to change your name: yeah do u guys think its possible 2 chnage it to nutfcuker69 what did you do for your last birthday: chilled at home, panicked abt holiday hw since.. my birthday is on fcuking 26 decemeber what time did you wake up today: 7:42 am kinda disappointed it wasnt earlier but wtv at least its not as bad as falen’s what were you doing last night at midnight: sleepiing like the good child i am something you can’t wait for: MAKI’S BIRHDAY SO I CAN FINALLY SCOUT i currently have 420 gems saved last time you saw your mom: half an hour ago what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: boy howdy there r alot of things.. maybe my attitude towards my irl friends??  have you ever talked to a person named tom: no i go to a girls school but im surprised there wasnt anybody named tom in my old primary school what’s getting on your nerves: atm its my inability to focus and how im such a sucker for this one person who i ? shoudlnt be thinking abt//? and yet!!! when willi ufckign rEALIZE its embarrassing how mcuh effort i put lmao 

tagging: lena, kacchan, andy, and anyone else (not gonna tag them rly bc idw yknow b a bother sO.. ….) (ps yall dont have to do it, if u somehow manage 2 see this and get this far lmao) 

#egg boils #thank u flane once again #long post #tag meme

[bamshackalaka]

Thank you so much for tagging me @cosmicmoths! you are the bomb.com sorry it took so lonng 

- Most Recent -

Drink: Strawberry milkshake Phone call: Someone about my student loans Text: My mom Song you listened to: Body Work-Remix by Megosh Time you cried: Yesterday lol 

- Have You Ever -

Dated someone twice: Nope Been cheated on: Nopeee Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope Lost someone special: Yes Been depressed: lol yes Been drunk and thrown up: .....yes  List 3 favorite colors: mint green,teal, and light green

- In The Last Year, Have You -

Made a new friend: Yes Fallen out of love: nope Laughed until you cried: Yiup Met someone who changed you: nooope Found out who your true friends are: Yup Found out someone was talking about you: nope Kissed anyone on your FB list:lol i didn’t kiss anyone in the past year

- Extras -

How many people from your FB list do you know IRL: all of them Do you have any pets: 3 dogs

Do you want to change your name: I like my name so no What did you do for your birthday: went out to eat with my mama What time did you wake up today: 9:30 am What were you doing last night at midnight: drunk scrolling through reddit Name something you can’t wait for: this washington dc trip thing im going  Last time you saw your mom: like...two months ago What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: the whole depression/anxiety thing Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: not that i recall What’s getting on your nerves right now: internships  Blood Type: idek Nickname: i don’t have one Relationship Status: Single Pronouns: She/Her Long or short hair: short hair Height: 5′6/7’ Do you have a crush on someone: nope What do you like about yourself: my eyes and the fact that im a pretty chill person Right or left handed: Right handed First surgery: i got my tonsils removed when i was like 6

First Best Friend: this girl named Rachel, we were super close until like middle school  First sport you joined: I was forced to join soccer  First Vacation: i don’t remember, i think disney world  - Right Now -

Eating: nothing Drinking: strawberry milkshake I’m about to: keep deleting old posts from 2014 Listening to: Adventure Time by Bry Kids: nooppppe. Get Married: not in the near future no Career: something in museums i ain’t figured out if i want to do collections stuff or interpretation 

- Which Is Better -

Lips or eyes: Eyes Hugs or Kisses: hugs dude Taller or shorter: Taller Older or Younger: idk man it depends on the person Romantic or spontaneous: can’t you be both ??? Sensitive or loud: again can’t you be both Hookup or relationship: relationship Troublemaker or hesitant: in theory the troublemaker but in actuality the hesitant one

- Have You Ever -

Kissed a stranger: lol no Glasses/contacts: i used to wear glasses not anymore Had sex on a first date: nope Broke someone’s heart: i think so...sadly  Turned someone down: yup Cried when someone died: yup yup Fallen for a friend: yup yup yup

- Do You Believe In -

Yourself: idk man it depends on the day Miracles: not really Love at first sight: lol no Heaven: ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Kissing on the first date: why wouldn’t i believe in kissing on the first date

@ anyone man i haven’t been super active on this website in so long that im not sure who even i know thats still on it lol

#about me

[kevintalexander]

The Friction-Free Way To Recruit Without Prospecting Or Selling

The Friction-Free Way To Recruit Without Prospecting Or Selling

Share It!

There’s an easier, friction-free way to promote your products and business without experiencing rejection.

If you’re still prospecting by bugging friends, family or complete strangers to grow your business then this may just be the most important post you read today..

@media only screen and (max-width:800px) {.fusion-title.fusion-title-2{margin-top:40px!important;margin-bottom:40px!important;}}

Imagine how it would feel to never have another one of those ‘catching up’ conversations with old acquaintances…

Just waiting for the right time to pounce with your offer.

I read somewhere a long time ago that there’s ONLY 1 Way We As Humans Learn… and that’s by making mistakes.

The mistakes can be yours or someone else’s so learn from other people’s mistakes because you won’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

I can’t remember the author’s name to give credit so if you happen to know who said this let me know in the comments.

That message of learning from other people’s mistakes had a massive impact on my life as well as my business. It’s why I decided to get a mentor who had already been where I was and could help me avoid pitfalls and get to success faster.

@media only screen and (max-width:800px) {.fusion-title.fusion-title-3{margin-top:40px!important;margin-bottom:40px!important;}}

My search led me to find my mentor Ferny Ceballos. Ferny has been in the industry since 2008.

He’s a top producer in his company and has a very successful networking business.

Before I let Ferny talk about the top 5 WRONG ways to recruit on social media (as well as what to do instead), let me quickly tell you my story…

I started dabbling with network marketing way back in 2008. Between 2008 and 2010 I joined numerous companies because truthfully I hated all of the options I was taught to grow my business.

I did not want to contact my warm market

I did not want to reach out to strangers

I did not want to do home meetings

I did not want to babysit… sorry, I mean motivate a bunch of people in order to grow my team

@media only screen and (max-width:800px) {.fusion-title.fusion-title-4{margin-top:40px!important;margin-bottom:40px!important;}}

I wanted to find a company that solved these problems for me.

In 2012 I found Empower Network (EN) and went ALL-IN.

If you knew about EN then reading the phrase ALL IN either made you smile (because it’s funny now in hindsight) or it made you cringe and possibly even increased your heart rate… and not in a good way.

If you’ve never heard of EN and you’re curious you can google it and my statement will make a lot more sense then.

Anyway, the point of meniting EN isn’t to rag on them. It’s to explain what made me decide to go all in and why that matters to you.

EN promised to solve all the problems I faced with growing my business utilizing the power of the internet.

@media only screen and (max-width:800px) {.fusion-title.fusion-title-5{margin-top:40px!important;margin-bottom:40px!important;}}

We were going to draw people in towards us utilizing content marketing… namely blogging.

Long story short, EN ended up crashing and burning… and along with it all my hopes for growing my business in a way where I could avoid doing the things I disliked.

Back then I knew very little about the internet in terms of using it to attract and influence other like minded people.

For almost the next decade I did a deep dive with how to run paid advertising profitably so it was no longer an expense but an investment that paid me back in spades.

Along the way I quit my job, went full time as an entrepreneur, got distracted and left the network marketing altogether and picked up affiliate marketing.

I had a few successes and a bunch of failures. Too many failures to mention here. Overall, the few successes I had outweighed all the failures.

Not too long ago I stumbled across an interesting post from a lady on Facebook.

I clicked on it and read her blog post. She had successfully built her networking business utilizing the internet.

I studied everything she was doing. I read all her emails and blog posts and even watched her videos on social media.

This was the missing piece!

What she was doing was both simple and brilliant!

It solved all the problems I had over a decade ago that made me turn my back on network marketing.

Her name was Brandy Shaver. I dug in a bit deeper and found her mentors were 2 guys (Tim Erway and Ferny Ceballos). I immediately hired those guys to mentor me as well.

Now let me turn this over to Ferny so he can tell you a bit about himself and what qualifies him to talk about this topic.

*************************

Hey guys, Ferny here.

It’s been over a decade since I entered the network marketing arena and my life took a crazy detour into the world of entrepreneurship.

I’ve undergone deep personal development and experienced more negativity than any human should have to endure, but the good news is that my story in this industry has a happy ending.

I quit my job as an engineer 2 1/2 years after joining the industry in 2008, became a 6-figure earner in direct sales by 2009, built a 7-figure internet company by 2012, and I am now the co-owner of an online direct sales company.

@media only screen and (max-width:800px) {.fusion-title.fusion-title-6{margin-top:40px!important;margin-bottom:40px!important;}}

My journey was filled with many fumbles, embarrassing moments, and more prospecting “faux pas” than I care to share

I hope my friends, family, and strangers I have attempted to prospect have long forgotten the things I did. LOL!

But here’s a few, so you have an idea…

Have you ever invited friends over for some beers and very unsmoothly transitioned to showing the business plan to a very angry audience?

I have.

Have you ever tried to prospect your bartender, a few too many beers past ‘buzzed,’ and have him respond with, “Is this Amway?”

Doh! I have.

Here’s a good one… have you ever, while on a date, prospected a girl as a “test,” because your upline told you that if a girl is not positive about your business, she’s not a keeper?

Yep… that didn’t turn out well!

And that’s about as much as I’ll reveal because I’m starting to get really depressed remembering all this right now. Haha.

The point is, before I cast some heavy stones at some networkers, but I just wanted to let y’all know I’ve made mistakes too.

But that doesn’t mean we should go easy on those that are committing some MAJOR mistakes when recruiting with social media.

In my day, my fumbles happened offline and there is no record…thankfully!

Unfortunately, today…

@media only screen and (max-width:800px) {.fusion-title.fusion-title-7{margin-top:40px!important;margin-bottom:40px!important;}}

The Internet Never Forgets and It’s Ruining It for Everyone Else!

I once heard that success in business is all about ‘time’ and ‘place.’

As a professional marketer, I would add ‘message’ to the equation as well.

Network marketers today are being taught methods of recruiting with social media. Unfortunately, these so often include the wrong message, at the wrong time, at the wrong place.

Here’s the truth!

There is a VERY fine line between recruiting with social media and spamming people.

I’m sorry to say that most network marketers have been turned into human spam bots by their upline and company leaders…

‘Disposable distributors’ tasked with the job of spreading the word about their company’s products or opportunity at the expense of the individual’s reputation and risking the suspension of their social media accounts.

Just recently, I asked affiliates of my company to share examples of the WRONG WAY to prospect online by sending me screenshots of the poor attempts at prospecting they receive every day…

@media only screen and (max-width:800px) {.fusion-title.fusion-title-8{margin-top:40px!important;margin-bottom:40px!important;}}

The WRONG Way to Prospect and Recruit

Have a look at these…

Successful entrepreneurs and networkers alike eventually learn the true secret to success, and it becomes the foundation upon which their entire prospecting, recruiting and business building strategy is founded.

That secret being:

“People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care” – Theodore Roosevelt

The screenshots above are an example of a weak attempt from people recruiting with social media…

People who haven’t yet figured out that building a business is not about tricking people or finding the right copy/paste FB messages to send to strangers.

It’s about actually caring about people, becoming a person of value, and being someone uniquely positioned to help someone with their problems!

That last part is critical: “uniquely positioned to help someone with their problems.”

Any idiot can copy and paste a message into the Private Message function on Facebook.

What sets you apart from the rest of the desperate reps hitting people’s inboxes with their new “ground floor” opportunities or cash programs?

Now, this doesn’t mean prospecting online doesn’t work.

I know some very skilled recruiters who are excellent at online prospecting, but just like offline prospecting, they’ve devoted the time and effort to learn this very difficult skill and have mastered it.

And if that’s the strategy you want to deploy, you need to do it right or else!

But if you’re still a little fuzzy on whether you are a spammer or not, here’s a guide of sorts…

@media only screen and (max-width:800px) {.fusion-title.fusion-title-9{margin-top:40px!important;margin-bottom:40px!important;}}

Top 5 Warning Signs Your Social Media Prospecting Efforts are Actually SPAM

1.) Your first private message to a stranger on social media includes a link to join your opportunity.

2.) You get angry replies via private messaging and/or you have been reported as a spammer.

3.) You post links to your opportunity or website in the comments section of other people’s social media posts.

4.) You compulsively want to talk about your company or products without anyone asking you to share.

Finally… this one is the most important one…

5.) You engage in interactions online with a hidden agenda hoping to transition the topic to something that would get people interested in your opportunity without caring about knowing the other person.

This last one for me is a big one but could also be controversial.

After all, #5 is the very definition of prospecting (online or offline) that even when done right… can still feel awkward, result in people getting angry at you, and very unleveraged.

That is why I eventually decided to stop prospecting altogether.

But here’s the interesting thing…

@media only screen and (max-width:800px) {.fusion-title.fusion-title-10{margin-top:40px!important;margin-bottom:40px!important;}}

“When I Stopped Prospecting People, My Business Started Growing!”

I can’t tell you how relieved and at peace I felt, when I once again, was able to go out with my friends, visiting a family member’s home, or be in a public place without having to think about prospecting anyone.

Just enjoying being normal again was incredible after two years of being taught by my upline that “everyone was a prospect” and approaching every conversation with a hidden agenda; I was free!

That’s because it wasn’t until I STOPPED prospecting that my business actually started growing!

Weird, right?

At this point, you may be asking…

“Then how the heck did your business grow? How can you grow a network marketing business without recruiting with social media and spamming your friends and family?”

Well before I answer that, I have to say that there are people who are very skilled prospectors and recruiters who completely disregard the issues I mentioned above.

They knowingly and unashamedly, approach every interaction with a stranger as a prospecting opportunity.

Getting yelled at or cursed out by prospects is no big deal, as long as some people say ‘yes.’

And just like doing it right offline, there’s a way to successfully do it online as well. After learning and becoming very good at prospecting, I decided that I didn’t want to build my business this way.

The problem with prospecting in general, as it’s normally taught, is that the mindset going in is still about what YOU want people to do and about manipulating people into doing what you want them to do.

In other words, it’s about YOU, not them. I didn’t like that, but I still did it for a little while… until I found a better way.

@media only screen and (max-width:800px) {.fusion-title.fusion-title-11{margin-top:40px!important;margin-bottom:40px!important;}}

The More Leveraged Alternative to 1-on-1 Prospecting, Which Won’t Make You Feel Like a Cheap Salesman

Now, I am not trying to be high and mighty about all this prospecting stuff because I’m not.

If it came down to either feeding my family with ‘stone cold’ prospecting tactics or my kids starving, I would choose stone cold prospecting every time, without remorse.

But the reason I was able to quit prospecting was that, with the help of some extraordinary mentors,

I eventually discovered an online recruiting strategy which enabled me to recruit more people in one day than the most skilled recruiter in the world can do in a month.

I was able to passively generate leads, customers, and new reps even when I was out having fun with friends and family.

(Hence why I didn’t have to worry about prospecting them!)

Rather than spending hours spamming or private messaging people on social media, I learned how to legitimately get Facebook and other networks to actually help me attract the people who are most interested in what I have to offer by using their own ads platform! (i.e. going legit!)

In fact, every day for almost 8 years now, I’ve awoken to an email inbox full of notifications for new leads, new customers, new team members, and commissions I earned while sleeping!

All without resorting to the odious and deceitful tactics commonly used when recruiting with social media in our industry.

This strategy is called ‘attraction marketing’, which is an internet marketing strategy designed for networkers and people in direct sales!

You see, if your business depends on you being on social media, sending private messages, or commenting on people’s posts all day, you are NOT doing internet marketing… despite what you may have been led to believe.

Online prospecting and internet marketing are NOT the same thing! Internet marketing is a passive strategy, which works, even when you are not.

So if you want to learn how to PASSIVELY build a business by attracting the prospects you want online, then get access to my free 10-Day Online Recruiting Bootcamp available here.

There, I reveal the strategy I’ve used for the past decade, plus.

You’ll also get more details about a book I wrote that goes into the nuts n’ bolts of my recruiting & selling formula.

Now if traditional prospecting online or offline is your thing and you want to stick to that, by all means, go for it.

There are many top trainers and earners of mine in the industry that focus on cold market recruiting skills…

(And they do ‘attraction marketing’ too!)

For me, there was simply a certain way I wanted to live my life and that was more important.

I would much rather make a ton of money in my business first and then have my friends and family beg me to tell them more about it.

It’s much better than begging my friends and family to join a business which isn’t making any money.

Which would you prefer?

Exactly!

Sincerely,

Kevin Alexander & Ferny Ceballos

FREE INTERNET RECRUITING COURSE

Finally, An Easy Way To Recruit – Rejection FREE – Without Wasting Your Time & Money Chasing Dead Beat Prospects & Leads…

@media only screen and (max-width:800px) {.fusion-title.fusion-title-14{margin-top:0px!important;margin-bottom:0px!important;}}

Claim Your Free Internet Recruiting Bootcamp…

.fusion-button.button-1 .fusion-button-text, .fusion-button.button-1 i {color:#ffffff;}.fusion-button.button-1 .fusion-button-icon-divider{border-color:#ffffff;}.fusion-button.button-1:hover .fusion-button-text, .fusion-button.button-1:hover i,.fusion-button.button-1:focus .fusion-button-text, .fusion-button.button-1:focus i,.fusion-button.button-1:active .fusion-button-text, .fusion-button.button-1:active{color:#ffffff;}.fusion-button.button-1:hover .fusion-button-icon-divider, .fusion-button.button-1:hover .fusion-button-icon-divider, .fusion-button.button-1:active .fusion-button-icon-divider{border-color:#ffffff;}.fusion-button.button-1:hover, .fusion-button.button-1:focus, .fusion-button.button-1:active{border-color:#ffffff;}.fusion-button.button-1 {border-color:#ffffff;}.fusion-button.button-1{background: #d85d43;}.fusion-button.button-1:hover,.button-1:focus,.fusion-button.button-1:active{background: #d85d43;}CLICK HERE FOR INSTANT ACCESS

.modal-1 .modal-header, .modal-1 .modal-footer{border-color:#ebebeb;}

×

Almost there! Please complete this form and click the button below to gain instant access.

50%

FINALLY!

An Easy Way To Recruit – Rejection FREE – Without Wasting Your Time & Money Chasing Dead Beat Prospects & Leads…

[contact-form-7]

As an additional gift you’ll also receive a subscription to our daily newsletter with exclusive offers, and helpful tips. We will process your data in accordance with our Privacy Policy. You may unsubscribe any time by clicking the unsubscribe link in our newsletter.

View Kevin Alexander’s Privacy Policy

[ryanssecurityengineering]

Week 6 Notes and Reflection

REFLECTION

What a funny lecture - poor Richard was sick and instead gave the lecture over Skype. Too bad Skype has bad quality but it was delayed. Still I was able to learn lots!

One of the interesting things I learnt was buffer overflow attacks, and potentially how easy it is to make a mistake in your code where a malicious user can overflow the buffer. I also found it interesting on how the NSA is very resourceful compared to the rest of the world on this cryptographic stuff. They are hiding security vulnerabilities and methods that we may never know for a long time. For example, they might know a vulnerability in Windows but will keep it to themselves so they can exploit them to attack Iran or something.

My group also did the Cryptocurrency lecture. It went better than I thought, I thought we would be like 40 mins and cut out halfway through the presentation, but only 5 minutes over so it was good!!!

Richard played a very strange prank on us, apparently the first 10 mins of his lecture was “prerecorded”, which is rather strange, because he said he liked the questions/answers from our cryptocurrency group, but if he recorded the first part that means he was pretending, lol. Don’t understand.

NOTES

Initialisation Vectors - When an algorithm deals with a sequence of things e.g. merkle/damgard construction. We need avalanche effect. The point of a hash is to protect the whole document - we protect the whole document - capture the identity of the whole document. The idea is hash one block, roll that on and hash the next block etc. The very first requires as an Initialisation Vector (WEP is a stream cipher - it uses an IV somewhere).

A password like the one in the exam - 3 words concatenated together is still not that secure even though it might be 12 characters long.

WEP used a 64 bit key which is reasonable. How do we get users to type a 64 bit key?? Let’s let the user type a 40bit password, then we generate the rest - Initialisation Vector. Only 24 bit IV - Only need 2^12 to get a collision. IV collisions are a disaster - as soon as there is a collision, you have 2 different plain text with the same key, then it becomes easier to attack.

Mixing Data and Control - 

Richard lining up in the post office - post office doesn’t really have much security. Then they brought in Express Post - the stamp thing was pretty expensive. You could get packets of stamps from the shop (not much security). He also needed the satchel, which was very expensive. They moved the counter and it was near the door. He put all the stamps into the satchel, and posted it to himself!! Similar to WEP attack.

Look at Harvard Architecture - one stack for data, one stack for control.

Buffer overflow - Alec1 phrack magazine should read the article. Smashing stack for fun and profit. 

All that is happening in a PC is a CPU doing one thing at an instant. The computer is rapidly interleaving processes (context switching). The way it does this is through CPU interrupts. A stack keeps track of the current jobs and the interrupted jobs.

Buffer Overflow How It Works - All the data process is using is on the stack. When a process wakes up someone tells you the status of the local variables etc, and it was stored in the disk, and read back from the disk when it wakes up. The program that is running has the ability to store data on the stack. Instead of saving to disk, we store all the data saved on the stack for fast wakeup. The stack is stored backwards - E.g. House 1, 2, 3, 4. If you overflow the array (e.g. 100 byte array). If you can persuade the PC that it was 1000 bytes long, and then it will write to the stack, which is the middle of the stack frame of the person who is asleep. It contains a lot of control information - it contains pointer to the next instruction to be executed. As soon as the PC wake ups, it will execute that. You write to the return address of the asleep routine - change it to point to an area of memory you control - then you put your program in there and it will be executed. An attack usually involves putting the code itself in the buffer, and the return address being the pointer to the beginning of the buffer. Lets the user enter info, and the code doesn’t check the amount of info the user typed in fits in the array. E.g. user types in string containing - their program, nothings, overwrite return address.

Proof Of work - We want someone to do a lot of work. Proof of work in bitcoin - blockchain. A lot of work to make a new “page” of ledger book - hash needs lots of leading zeroes. In order to change a page few days ago requires you to modify the blockchain - too hard. Series of solving “puzzles”. Lots of work to fake pages in ledger. Keep trying to change the magic number to gets lots of zeroes. If you get enough zeroes, you solved the puzzle. e.g. 16 zeroes = 2^16 hashes. 

Moore’s Law - Number of transistors exponentially increasing over time. About every year or 2 - double the number of transistors. Compute power also increases (doubles every 18 months - every 18 months attacker gains 1 bit of security). 

Disk Encryption - If you want to encrypt a hard disk, how would you do it? They have physical access to the disk. Suppose you have 256bit key - will your normal password be good enough.... no. The way most hard disks do it is that they generate a key randomly and the encrypted version of that key is stored on the disk with the user’s password. Why is it better than encrypting the whole disk with the user’s lame password.

Disk Encryption Attack - You’ve told Windows to encrypt the hard disk. To save time, if the drive already has the encryption feature, Microsoft will just give the data in plaintext to the encryption feature of the drive. 

When you write something to RAM and you turn the power off, it takes a while for the information to leak away. What they did was sprayed an aerosol can on the RAM chip. Then you just read back, and then you can find the encryption keys. Trying to read active memory. Spray keeps the temperature cool.

Very unlikely a cryptographic protocol will be attacked - Weaknesses usually happen on the endpoints - the backdoor open. E.g. the OS. 

Encryption Algorithms

Ciphers after WW2 and before RSA - Most of the heavy lifting done by other encryption problems. RSA works because it is a hard mathematical problem. In the old days the hardness is tied to obscurity, jumbling things up. E.g. banks sent data to other banks, what did they do? They rolled their own. Security by obscurity, was pretty bad until 70s. NIST came up with a standard. They had a competition, trying to figure out the best algorithms - but barely anyone put anything up!! Decent thing was made up by IBM (Lucifer). They realised NSA works on codes and things. Guy from NIST went to NSA with the IBM algorithm. IBM cipher was jumble it, jumble etc, iterate it lots of times. NSA looked at the algorithm, published it, and change one random number to another random number. Decade later, people realised they can use differential analysis to crack it, but NSA already knew this!! 

DES was adopted. Kept asking for new ones, new ones etc. It was until 2000 NIST run a competition for an algorithm, and finally lots of cool algorithms appeared. The winner became AES. Better than DES.

Symmetric Ciphers - If you have knowledge of the key, you can use for encryption and decryption. Only asymmetric cipher is RSA.

Earthquake - San Andreas fault line. What would you do if an earthquake struck? Think about crisis and how to respond during crisis. Have sneakers next to their bed to jump out. Have Go Bag

Block Modes - read up about "Block Modes" - only need to learn/understand ECB, CBC, CTR. Adapt something that deals with fixed sized modes to variable sized things. In Cipher block mode means how you can combine them together to get the ciphertext. ECB (concatenating, the simple one). 

Mission Impossible Red box - To open the box needs prime minister recognition etc. Need all the 3 things right. Suppose youre the box designer. How can you build a USB stick that the data can only be accessed by the legitimate person? The problem of authentication.

Authentication - Identifying for who? Computer/human? If the human makes decision is that still authentication? Facebook goes around giving people names - is that authentication. Police scanning surveillance footage - is that authentication? Baggage screening - rather than looking for bad things, they look for good things. Authenticating stuff in bag. 

Auth - The computer making the decision, can we have a computerised authentication system? What decisions? E.g. shoot a gun, login to FB? Does the decision have a physical impact?

How can a computer decide someone is a French minister? Preloaded with DB with all the faces of French ministers?

How did you know your dad is your dad when you go home?

Factors - Authentication can be faked, and use Defence in Depth and use multiple factors. 3 Factors - Something you know (secret), you have, and you are.  

Hard to prove something is secret.

Use secrets to prove you are someone - Naive approach. How do you invent a shared secret? Post it like a bank? 

Something you have - Send SMS msg confirm code. (2FA). Worked well initially, but then people intercept messages.

Something you are - Face, fingerprint, retina scan. However easily fakeable. Costs 10c to make a fingerprint. Breathing on fingerprint scanner.

The computer doesn’t know the “something you have”, “are”, “know”. Etc there are 3 factors, but not really, there are just secrets. Computer is just 101010, they can mimic that and get in.

A bad can open a door by powering a solenoid - no need to press the button. Bad guy just has to know where the line is. 

Jay Tag - Selectively deactivate/activate circuits on board. 

At the end of the day, authentication in just data. 

MI IMPOSSIBLE box - someone can inject signal into the red box circuits. If the authentication is used for info, might be okay. Used the 3 pieces of info to combine into a key, then use that to encrypt the data.  Could work - but in terms of protecting atom bombs etc, authentication is a problem. Problem entirely based on secrets. 

French minister - Can’t make decisions without info from the outside world. North Korea - we know info could get in or out. They have an M&M type environment. The only people dictator worries about is the outside world. Danger is when the inside world has able to determine outside world. 

“outside” and “inside” world bubble.

WEB EXTENDED LECTURE

HTML is a language which defines elements in the web browser.

Javascript is a code embedded in HTML that defines logic and can interact with HTML elements.

On web servers you have databases stored in SQL. User sends HTTP post request, queries DB, Returns session cookie to user if valid and stores in the database if login successful. (Like Brain website)

HTTP Cookies / Sessions - small piece of data generated by server and stored on user’s computer. Session cookies is a unique id generated by the server and sent to the user when they connect.

Session Hijacking - If you steal someones cookies, put it into your browser, you’ll be logged into their account.

XSS - Launching malicious script into website. Inject memes, steal cookies and modify DOM elements. you can do whatever the site owner can do.

Reflected XSS - Input immediately returned to the client. 

Stored XSS - The injection returns in a later request. 

Samy is my hero linkedin XSS bug

Injections - Malicious SQL statements inserted into an entry field for execution. Allow attacks to spoof identity, tamper with existing data, view the data etc.

Blind Injection - Exploit an application rather than getting a useful error msg they get a generic page specified by the developer instead. 

Command Injection - Grep command injection.

Cross Site Request Forgery - They are logged in on a website somewhere. Browser sends cookie back for each request you make. So send a link to someone, it uses the cookie, boom send money. Defences - Tokens for the session. Expect this token back for all communications to the server.

CRYPTOCURRENCY EXTENDED LECTURE

This was my group!

[nchyinotes]

How to launch an independent magazine, by Delayed Gratification

February 22 2018

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/how-to-launch-an-independent-magazine-22nd-february-2018-tickets-40937174190?aff=es2

In this class you will:

-Learn how to turn your magazine idea into reality

-Find out how to identify a successful editorial niche

-Understand the nuts and bolts of commissioning writers and designers

-See how to pull together a winning subscription, distribution and marketing plan

-Discover how to survive and thrive beyond the first year

You will leave with a good insight into the independent publishing industry and a strong idea of how to set about launching an independent magazine.

 Thoughts: I actually found this event on eventbrite a few months before it happened, sent it to my friend who I knew would be interested (hi Ayesha!) and then forgot about it. Then the day before, she asks if I want to go because her friend cancelled so she had an extra ticket, so I ended up going with her haha. I’ve always been vaguely interested in starting a magazine, and was actually the co-editor of an online art magazine aaaages ago with my online friend (hi Angela!), but was never really serious about it. While some of this information was not new for me (a lot of it overlapped with your typical entrepreneurship/startup advice, ie. finding a niche), the advice that was specific to launching indie magazines (logistics and business aspects) was very useful and interesting, and I really appreciated the numbers they threw in from their own business. Overall, was a very fun and honest look at the business, and the organisers were super friendly. Also left with a free copy of Delayed Gratification (their mag), which was cool to read.

  EDITED NOTES

 Introduction

Met early 20s in dubai, journalism students, working as time out editors, learnt how to make print mags together / fell in love with it

Went in different directions, and then all ended up back in london at 30

Just over 7 years now

Named independent magazine editors of the year 2017

Most independent magazines are losing if not hemorrhaging money - lots of vanity projects, made as a shop front for creative agencies.

Attrition rate is extraordinary. Intense desire to make them, but the number that make it past issue 2 / 3 is very low.

Lower barriers to entry than ever before - people are used to them, a lot more need for them (solace in print from digital world) + tools are there + there are all these places to sell them now (mag culture!)

Bad news: will probably break your heart, high failure rate, odds are against you, difficult economic model to make work, are not immune to pressures in mainstream press (but don’t face: massive debt built up in 80s/90s for rapid expansion, pensions liabilities, offices)

Were dreamers + journalists: novices at nuts and bolts of making money/funding

90% of success is turning up - determination to keep going even in early years

Maybe expand into documentaries / books in the future

Key lessons

1) you probably shouldn’t launch an independent magazine - sink which you pour your money, dreams, hopes

Brainstorm: Why do indie mags fail?

Not thinking about how you pay for issue 2 → run out of cash v quickly (where frequency comes into it, ie. weekly)

Just getting visibility: Hard to find your audience - with so much competition, etc

Often have expertise in one area, but lack expertise in another function that’s vital to bringing product to market

Content burn out, esp. If you make big commitments (launch with huge interview etc) - second album syndrome? Not to create too many structures that need to be filled in early days.

2) ^ can be overcome with a niche - you need a niche

Fat brad magazine

Terrible people magazine

Slightly foxed, nutmeg (scottish football periodical), mc1r (only about redheads)

Their niche: slow journalism, something to champion

What it did for them:

issue 1 cover was by obama’s hope poster artist (+ issue 5, limited edition posters, interview = all for free)

Content by Interviews (henry kissinger, etc) + writers - because it resonated with them, wanted to support it = can use those people’s credibility to add to theirs

Coverage + press: something to talk about (today program on radio 4: one 6 minute interview got them ~400 subscriptions = able to be condensed and easily explained/summed up)

Could have been slightly more bullish about fast news in the start, should you be worried about alienation??

Brainstorm: A name and niche

Colors magazine - activism & protest issue

Trend (mindfulness) vs Niche

Helps to sort of person we appeal to, what need am i filling that hasn’t been filled, what is my spin

Need to be passionate (committed, reason without a doubt), not egotistical, believe in your idea, ask for help a lot, honest

3) you need to think about the business

Beyond issue 1, what it is to run a magazine business (VAT returns, subscription systems, fb ads)

Frequency & cost

Weekly or monthly is really really fast. Always easier to go from quarterly down, because it shows you’re getting better, etc (awks if you have to go the other way).

Issue 1: 12 pounds, issue 2: 10 pounds.

When setting price for individual issue, what would you charge for a year’s subscriptions? You want to offer subscribers an appealing discount (that you’re not losing on each subscription)

Christmas is key for the indie mag industry - big burst of subscriptions as gifts. So don’t launch in jan or feb lol, christmas run is key, be well established for this! 50+% this year was from last 5 weeks of sales

Don’t launch in summer - nobody gets subscriptions then, more newstands then

Print, digital, or both?

People don’t want to pay for digital issues, not that captivated by complicated stuff you can do on there.

You have to charge VAT + pay percentage to platform for digital copies

People expect to pay less for digital copies

But there are some digital projects that are fascinating - de correspondent (similar premise, crowdfunded, purely digital in dutch, really collaborative / self contained digital ecosystem. / community driven)

Physicality - You can get people to pay for a physical / tangible object that they just don’t for digital, they have relationships with them.

Latterly (weekly newsletter, after building huge online audience for free, now printed publication)

^ merits of this?? Passion project more bc of time sink??

Subscriptions vs newsstand

Subscription systems

Gocardless (pay direct debits)

Chargebee - portal

V difficult to make money out of newsstand sales - 50% of the cover price, 3-6 months after mags are sold, and they generally only sell 60% of the ones you’ve sent them. Treated as marketing for subscriptions.

Not difficult to set them up

In London / UK: Ra&Olly, MMS, Smiths (difficult + unresponsive + dont fulfill, but have a stranglehold on mags in country)

Paid: gold star media (get you in to salons, hotels, airport lounges, etc)

Is your magazine one that a company would like to support? Team up because they really like it

Customer

Site sales: shopify

Fulfilment: newsstand

Adjust your expectations

4) take subscriptions!!

Newsstands are hard

It’s money upfront, will help with print bills, cash flow, etc

Community building

More chances for someone to like someone

Alternatives: Kickstarter, indiegogo (to test out if appetite is there)

Subscription renewals / Direct debits ?

Do not build your business model around advertising, it’s so diffused + competitive, can’t do trackability on print issues

No ads > bad ads

Corporate work - if you prove you can make mags, you can make them for other people too

Magazine as a broader way of selling your skill set

plan for issue 2/3/4 already + worst case scenarios

5) you need to make something special

Making your magazine:

Commissioning editorial content

There are a lot of really good writers out there desperate to work for you

Draw up a commissioning form - rights and responsibilities, deadlines, etc

Approach writers that you like - tell about mag & ask them to pitch OR give them a story and ask them to write it

Longer form + freedom

Always pay! You have a contract, leverage, etc

Editorial pagination * av word count * word rate = commission

First: 10p/word

Now: 25p/word

Industry average: 30p/word

Interviews / verbatim interviews: with an expert in the subject. Get it without having to pay a word rate, take what you need from it, may tighten it up for free anyway when you send it back for approval  

Ask people who just brought out a book

Finding a designer - they expect a very carefully designed product

Don’t be afraid to let things evolve - keep moving/changing things around

First issue is not going to be perfect, important thing is that it exists

Look at magazines / things you like + get in touch with them

Have your favorite designer create a template (or a regular design) for you - easier for recent grads etc to follow, at a cheaper price

Design software: considerable expense

Indesign, photoshop - creative suite, expensive monthly. Worth looking at older versions (old DVDs on ebay - work with designer to save it down a version)

Pagination (80-100), size (delayed gratification is too big/wide to fit through most letterboxes, something smaller / standard sizes are better), GSM (cyclical trends), binding (perfect bound, saddle stitch / staples are much cheaper)

Costs of the last issue, excl. Wages (which has come up a huge amount, 7-8k in the beginning bc lots in house and paying less) : 23.8k pounds

West ale ?? printers company

Approach the printers

The only thing that’s going to push your price up is if its special paper they have to order 4 u

You’ll get inundated with calls once you start up

You want a printer that will work around you (missed deadlines or changes post-proof stage)

6) you need to tell people about your mag

Brainstorm: how are you going to get noticed?

Making waves - Print someone controversial, getting into mainstream press

Power of positivity vs negativity (attract passionately negative people? In emails? Lol. prepare yourself for backlash)

Collaborating with influencers / people with followings / associations that make sense / endorsement (within the niche) - genuine

Loving print means embracing digital - lots of new people come from digital content

Weekly newsletter : manageable amount of content, keep engaging (mailchimp), moving people through the marketing funnel

Events - sense of community, benefit for subscribers.

Free is not recommended. Commitment.

Indie mag community - swap inserts in different titles/issues/newsletters, nicer fit, more interest

Podcasts

Questions

Usually print about 1000 copies of issue 1

Issue 0 - proof of concept (rarely done in indie mags)

Limited run projects - must be pitched to advertisers / subscribers before hand as such (will probz break ur heart at issue 6)

#entrepenuership #publishing #2018 #london #media #event

[fijimurmaider]

I remember making a post some time ago about OCD and...

I've finally gotten around to typing up this symptom list with some details. First and foremost, I may list some obsessions and compulsions I used to have and carry out and I will list those that have been with me forever. The most specific ritual thing at the earliest I can remember, I must have been about 5 years old. I don't remember watching a film that gave me an idea or even anyone planting the idea in my head. My sister and cousin were hanging out (I dunno why I'm putting this here lol) and I was up in their business. They were talking about weird people they knew. Anyway, I guess it freaked me out on my way to the bathroom (which was like 20 feet away from where they were hanging out) and when I sat down to pee, I pulled back the shower curtain almost without thought. I was so proud that I had done this totally brilliant thing to ward off the weirdos... and it's been with me for almost 20 years. I've tried going to the bathroom with the curtain closed and I'll just repeatedly check behind it. At this point, it's easier to just keep the thing open. A few years ago I developed this habit while IN the shower. I will look out just to *make sure.* Also, I know I've posted about the trichotillomania before, which was also something I experienced when I was young and I shamed myself out of it from like the 6th to the 9th grade, doing it only sparingly because I was 99.99% sure that someone would pick up on it and harass me over it and I'd be the freak forever. It's a daily thing for me now. Sometimes stress makes me do it more, but a lot of times it's automatic and I just *do* it without even thinking. I've also developed a skin picking problem as of probably 3 years ago and just learned to deal with it for a while until the end of 2016 when I started working a second job. Sometimes I'd pick my scalp until it would bleed. I've definitely kept my foot off the pedal lately, but I'm still picking. ***We'll get to the list after I say this*** In 2012, I got super fucking sick and it scared me SO fucking bad that I refuse to be around sick people, especially the person that gave it to me (and kids.) Christmas this year was really difficult because my nephews had been sick and I didn't want to be anywhere near them. I ran in circles about the whole situation and even told my mom I was considering buying face masks for this occassion... which was apparently the wrong idea because my mom literally laughs at everyone else's anguish and I'm sick of talking to her about issues tbh because she's always been total shit about it. I eventually calmed down when I found out it was a sinus infection and my brother's girlfriend made him sound sicker on FB than what he really was (I want to strangle her for the shit sometimes... she's JUST like my mom. Everything is ten times worse than what it is, she wants sympathy all the time and then I freak the fuck out because I think I'm going to get some bad virus that's going to incapacitate me for days.)*** 1. Fear of bodily waste and secretions (though I try to rationalize and say they're unfounded... I can't agree with that 'logic.' They are gross...) 2. Concerns about sticky substances and residue. 3. Need to align objects just so. 4. Sexual thoughts that one views as unacceptable/inappropriate. I'm going to go into this one for two reasons, the first reason is because sometimes the fear of child molestation is symptomatic of OCD, and I am super confident that I'm not going to harm any children. The second reason is because my boyfriend is going to read this and think I'm talking about gay porn or something. I'm not entirely certain how many people envision others naked or what their sex lives are like, but I tend to do that. I don't deem homosexuality unacceptable which is why I don't want to include it even if those thoughts arise. Sometimes I will hear things about some sexual deviant and imagine it, sometimes I'm appauled by it. Not so sure how much I should have included this point because I'm not sure how normal it is to do this. 5. Repeating activities. I'll including 'checking' in with this. I check the door multiple times. I'm glad most rooms I need to access go past the door and that I can just look down at the bottom of the steps to accomplish this. I also fear ever having multiple doors in a home because I know I'll have to keep up with them. I've always been repetitive, ESPECIALLY at video games. I have played against bosses before in games and either allowed myself to die or dragged a game on longer than it needed because I felt the need to just keep doing it. I used to have 4 games total that I'd keep going over the same parts and doing the same things over and over, never progressing or I'd beat the game and go right back to play it again. I play the Sims rather often and even then, I can never finish a game for a multitude of different reasons. I believe this may be why my favorite games are puzzle-related like Tetris, Dr. Mario, etc. 6. Rewording, rewriting and re-reading. I handle the work e-mails from time to time and let me tell you... I could not be a more annoying cunt about it. Yes, I understand that to some extent, being careful and proof-reading are totally acceptable... but maybe not to the extent that I carry on. My boyfriend types and re-reads an e-mail then sends it. I re-read their e-mail, I type up my reply, proof read it. Change something. Proof read it again and the unnecessary process just goes on and on until I'm happy with what I've got. I also take FOREVER to read books (I'm not an idiot, I'm good at reading...) because I get stuck on sentences and continously read them over and over. If your book has a typo, it's even worse. 7. Intrusive, violent thoughts of others harming others, others harming me, and me harming others. 8. Food rituals like not letting foods touch and being a childish prick when they do or pretending I'm *totally stuffed and just cannot handle anymore* This is why my jerk ass INSISTS on fixing my own plate. 9. The old "even numbers are good and odds are bad!" 10. Dishes can never be clean enough, dish inspection before using them like my fucking life depends on it. I'll even run my fingers across a plate before eating off of it just to be sure. This also makes it uncomfortable to eat at other people's homes as I don't want to look like an asshole. 11. Need for symmetry. This includes becoming angry when people have facial piercings all over the place. Eyebrow pierced to the left, nostril pierced to the right, etc. 12. "Hoarding" useless objects. This is less of an issue to me than it used to be. I have to talk myself up before I throw certain things away, but I've at least worked on this especially after seeing my grandmother's hoarding and how she REFUSED AND YELLED AT PEOPLE over her pile of Sunny D jugs she was DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITH. I'm not the cleanest person, but hoarding does bother me, even if I do it mildly. 13. Blinking/staring rituals. I wish I could explain this in a way that didn't sound totally dumb. It goes beyond having a lash in your eye. Sometimes my eyes don't feel like they (I hear you groaning out there because I'mma say it...) like they're open at the same level and sometimes squinting and then trying to open my eyes as wide as possible and vibrating them is the only thing I can do to fix it (but it really doesn't. My fix? Wipe around them with anti-bacterial wipes or use eye drops. One eye always seems to be err...oily? and the other always seems dry and fucking closed!) I also have eye issues, so wearing glasses is a total pain because I HAVE TO CLEAN THEM 234436236 TIMES A DAY. If I engage in ANY physical activity, the number is much higher. If there's a smudge or streaks on my glasses, life will not continue, sorry. 14. Touch/tap/rub. I have to touch things (so long as they're not slimy or wet... unless it's the shark I touched at Ripley's Aquarium...) My cat is the biggest victim... her fur is so soft I just keep doing it until she runs off or starts trying to eat me alive. The tapping is more recent, but I do it with my thumb and middle finger and only on the left hand (also on my keyboard because the sound it makes when you gently tap the keys...) Also I just generally have a lot of issues with my hands and I do weird stretches with them? 15. Also I have weird toilet rituals that I'm not getting into on here. 16. Closet door in the bedroom must be checked and shut at night. I'm also the most difficult person when it comes to getting into bed comfortably. There's just so much. I'm constantly worried about fires, floods, tropical storms, tornados, blizzards, burglary, murder, being mugged, car accidents, any other transport accidents, I've thought about driving my car into off the road and face first into a hill on the interstate (in all fairness, it could have been the depression running rampant in me at the time,) I've worried that I was going to grab some rando's ass in the store because he was bent over (and I totally wouldn't even do shit like that to ANYONE, but it scared me to even think I could do it...) I hate vacations because I hate worrying about my pets and whether or not they're being baby-sat or whether or not someone in my building is going to burn the fucking place down while I'm gone. ughhh. Not even a complete list, just all I felt like writing out right now.

#fijimurmaider #ocd #mental illness #symptom list #trichotillomania #nervous #anxiety #depression #obsessions #compulsions #mmmmmmmmmmehhhhhhhhhhhhhh #worries #honestly all my stupid fears and obsessions are holding me down in life and for some reason im totally cool with it #the heck