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muwapsturniolo · 3 months

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✯Matt dating a black girl✯

-he doesn’t know how he pulled you fr but he’s very happy he did

-if you’re rowdy (like me fr) he gets stressed.

-I’m talking deep sighs and rubbing over his face in frustration

-“bitches can’t say excuse me?”

-“y/n please don’t start.”

-“you saying that makes me want to start”

-when he gets in his lil moods (tough guy) yall bud heads

-“Matt who are you talking to cause I know damn well it’s not me!”

-hears your tone and apologizes (it’s the same tone our mommas use when we talk back💀)

-for my soft black girlies, you always have him giggling like a lil girl

-“you so handsome, I just wanna smother you in kisses!”

-if he catches an attitude with you and you gets upset, he’s on his knees saying sorry.

-if you got ass, he can’t handle the twerking😭 his head actually moves in circles and his eyes are WIDE!!!

-sexxy redd comes on at a party and you start dancing, this man starts blushing and everyone tells him he can’t handle you (he can)

-he loves when you sit on his lap. Chairs are available? He does not give af, SIT ON HIS LAP!!!

-if you got titties, his eyes won’t stay off of em. You could be wearing a regular tshirt and he gonna be like 👀

-“Matt stop looking at my boobs I’m literally in my wash day tshirt”

-“don’t care, I’m not arguing with a girl who has big boobs!”

-speaking of wash day

-this man loves watching the process

-keeps asking questions like a lil kid

-“what’s this for? Why do you need to many creams and oils? Does that hurt? WHY IS SO MUCH HAIR COMING OUT!?”

-“stop talking to me because my hair isn’t acting right and I’m two seconds away from crying and hitting myself with this brush.”

-wants to help but chooses not too, afraid he will put the wrong creme in the wrong order

-he loves going to the beauty supply because the aunties fawn over him.

-“hey Matt baby! Our girl treating you right?”

-“hi auntie Yolanda. She is, but she got mad because I didn’t get her candy she wanted.”

-“y/n if you don’t leave this boy alone!”

-“I didn’t even do anything!”

-buys all your stuff with no problem!

-“you always smell like pancakes and syrup.”

-goes feral over your shea butter, coco butter, vanilla, brown sugar scent.

-I’m talking he wants to be all over you and possibly have sex anywhere.

-“Matt we are in the car going to my parents house!”

-“Please? I’ll be quick.”

-he doesn’t not understand time! If you don’t know what I mean, let me explain.

-“shouldn’t we be leaving now? It starts at 5.”

-“no. 5 means you will be helping set up. We need to be there at 6:15.”

-blinks at you in confusion but nods anyway.

-if you not that close to your fam he gets confused as to why

-“don’t you think you should talk to them? That argument happened two years ago?”

-“and I’ll still swing at thanksgiving dinner!”

-loves eating at your parents house but thinks everything is supper spicy.

-“Matt it’s literally just seasoning salt?¿”

-“are you sure?”

-lowkey gets mouthy with your family on accident but he apologizes when your mom gives him, the look (yall know what im talking about)

-At the cook out he’s gets roped in to grilling.

-mf suddenly has a towel over his shoulder and joking with your uncles.

-he does sum that makes you and your fam look at him oddly.

-“Gon head and sit at the kids table baby.”

That’s all I can think of💀 hope yall enjoy

TAG LIST 🍑

@bernardsgf @bernardsleftbootycheek @blahbel668 @mattfrfr @gdsvhtwa @sturniolo-aali @lily-loves-struniolos @kynda-avery @causeidontlikeagoldrush

@st7rnioioss @carolinalikesthings @mattslolita @suyqa @xxloveralways14 @pepsiimaxx @judespoision

@ivonchetooo1239 @iloveurgf @m4stermindd @itzdarling @gigisworldsstuff @that-general-simp

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lapinpuff · 19 days

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(Copypasta)

So I’m in the toilets at the market I work at washing my hands minding my own business, and I notice this young girl at the taps looking me up and down scowling. Note I’m wearing a dark turtleneck with a Join Us monster hearse tee over the top and I'm holding a copy of the Spine. So I’m like

“Is there a problem?”

And she just says

“Are you a fucking TMBGhead?"

And I’m like

“Man. It's so loud in here,” Because I have zero chill when it comes to smart arse teens and she starts going off her nut at me, screaming, literally screaming all the usual

Are they really giants, Sexxy is gay, didn't they write the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song, did you know Istanbul is a cover, Flood was their only good album, blah blah blah. Now she’s so loud her mum comes running in from outside to see what’s going on.

I just turned around and said

“I don’t know who you think you are, you little Floodie, but how dare you talk to me like that."

Her mum just hit the roof at her, telling her off in front of about ten other market workers for her yelling, swearing, having the nerve to yell at an adult she doesn’t know like that…

And then her Mum finished with the classic line…

“They Might Be Giants, often abbreviated as TMBG, is an American alternative rock band formed in 1982 by John Flansburgh—" (she swooned at this point)—"and John Linnell! Why did you think our cat is called Severe Tire Damage??"

So she not only embarrassed herself, she got in major trouble and found out her Mum is a Flansgirl.

It was a great start to the day.

#tmbg #they might be giants #john linnell #john flansburgh

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sampsonstorm-critical · 8 months

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Alright, so ive got something to point out about Vivs writing in HB. Almost all of the antagonists are BITCHY "conventonally perfect looking"Women. I just realized this.

Examples

- Verosika Mayday

- Mother Martha

- Stella

- Queen Bee

- The 13 year old girls at the camp...again "13 YEAR OLD GIRLS"

- NOTE - most men are NOT antagonists unless they are related to the characters like Crimson or Pieman. The only antagonist there who is a "conventially attractive" male is Striker.

- NOTE - all the female characters especially, in HB are shallow, one sided, cardboard cutouts. (so are the males, but at least they have "interesting" backstories. The women antagonists are also being made fun of for having adictions. As someone who has a mother who abused me because of alcohol abuse, (i still love her and care about her, and she still loves and cares about me, shes the only one whos ever helped me in my family and will give you the shirt off her back) and has a father who was just diagnosed woth liver failure, this IS NOT A JOKE. Like alright, you wanna have your characters IN CHARACTER insult somone that way. Fine. That is fine, because you are establishing a character. But if you are going to take your story or tour characters serious in any sense of the word, you need to adress said character flaws, and give the insulter consequences.

- NOTE - the show is RIFE with sexism. Like daaamn. The amount of time i hear someone called "Tits" or "Tittyhaver" , or the amount of times i see the show just shitting on women is appalling, and dude. Like im not a "feminist". I have plenty of Male Ocs. In fact i have more men than women for personal reasons. (Said personal reason are below. )

SPONTANIOUS BACKSTORY ON ME AND AN OLD COWRITTER- (im trans/butch and i improv my stories with my fiance. its how we build the foundation and the details of our stories. Once upon a time ago, i had a male cowritter who was ....um.....well, a male vivziepop. He would have his characters molest the female characters as a joke, make them make racist, sexist, ableist jokes and remarks, but then the characters would get no consequences and wouldnt grow. He had a female oc who was a sexual assault victim but of course was also a bad ass fem fatale with her tits out and a "she got her sexxy back" attitude. And all of his male characters were sad uwu boys who always had their gf wifus explaining to the characters why they were just "troubled" Sound familiar? Ive worked with this exact type of cowritter, type of writter Vivzipop is. It wasnt fun. And what sucks, is, the comedy was great. We had alot of great laughs, i wont lie. But the problem at the end of the day was my cowritter just wasnt mature, and lacked the life experience or just didnt care about how to handle the content he wanted to create. He just wanted an imaginary playground to play in and truely live vicariously through his ocs. Now hes playing dnd everyday, after he abandoned his real life and his real friends because real life got too hard. )

NOTE - Vivzie, the amount of incest related jokes and implications are concerning at this point. I mean the show is 18 plus, right? Well the first "sex scene" we get and its an incest joke, IN FRONT OF CHILDREN, DONE BY WHAT THE CHILDREN PERCEIVE TO BE CHILDREN. that IS NOT funny! (i was also sexually groomed by two friends fathers, one who engaged in oncestual abuse to both his kids!) NOT FUNNY MAN. Not at all. Oh not to mention Barbie Wire. Damn talk about a serious disappointment.

NOTE - Also can we adress that Asmodeus seems to be black coded and hes a lustful demon, whos dressed like a pimp... And Vortex, the only pther black characters is a Hell hound, litterally a being who was kept in a cage until "adopted" or thrown out!

CONCLUSION - Theres is SO MUCH more, but Spindlehorse NEEDS to "think before they act!" and watch what theyre putting out there. They need to check their scripts, check their drafts, and check their final product BEFORE putting animated trash tv out in the open. Kids are watching this. Granted theyre not supposed to. But theyr ARE watching. You know how many kids (teens) are gonna get into relationships and think that this is ok? That abuse is ok, it just quirky. Spindlehorse is going to create a whole new generation of traumatized, confused, and toxic young people (im 26!) and i cant believe im saying this; The FCC was created so people like Vivian Madrano cant release grabage media like this, and expose young people who cant actually grasp the sensitive content, to its toxic after effects.

I WAS A FAN. I was so excited for Hazbin when the pilot dropped. It was a little shakey but what indie pilot wasnt back then? I liked the first season of Helluva. Some of the episodes were a miss like Spring Broken (sexual assault and addiction is not a joke) and the Cherub Episode. But the first episode was a good set up, again other than the "ill fuck you and your wife" joke. Loo Loo land came too early. We didnt know Stolas long enough or Octavia. Season 2 is BAD. The writting is bad. Characters are BAD. Direction is BAD. And by that i mean, the dialoge is horrid, the characters are poorly written and their traits are not being kept up with or are being missed or sidetracked for pLoT rEaSoNs, yuck. The direction? there is no direction. The pitch bible was BAD too. The only thing i liked about season 2 was the Moxxy mafia backstory flashback. It was ACTUALLY sinister and the mood hit for once. It was good. A flash of what the show could have been. Aaaaand they ruined it with bouncing dicks....yaaaay...

Also for anyone who wants to call me a homophobe. IM A BUTCH LESBIAN IN A 10 year HAPPY common law relationship. My best friend is NB and i have a LESBIAN SISTER. so fuck off and just accept the fact. The show in its entirety is just bad. It had potential, but because the writters behind the scenes are just immature, insensitive, hollywood wannabe, jackasses the show will never get to where it couldve gone. It went the opposite way. And its sad. Its sad that THIS is the prime example for adult animated show writting. Talk about a bad impression in the community of art, animation, and for young aspiring artist who have actual talent and who truely came from nothing. This isnt a rags to riches story. This is a selfish privlaged girl got money handed to her and she squandered it completely all while making indie artists "look like a fucking joke" (am i right Vagie?) I want Hazbin to be good. I want it to be SO BAD. Im hoping it will be with some studio oversight. ....but im doubtful.

Anyway! Hope you enjoyed my angry rant! GNight 😊

#helluva critical #helluva criticism #helluva critique #anger #rage #trash tv

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fashiondisastertournament · 1 year

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ROUND 2

Matchup #2.14: Miucia Miuller (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure) vs Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (My Immortal)

Pitting girlbosses against each other, two at a time (Ebony art is taken from the My Immortal wiki! If anyone happens to know the artist, please let me know so that I can credit them)

In the left corner, stands menacingly Miuccia or Miu Miu, from the most recently animated Jojo part. What did the nomination list among her Fashion Crimes?

her skirt has upside down text that says "h8t" and "shotfud"

are those eyeballs???

her shoes have a separated toe

her coat looks vaguely like intestines

her hair "looks like a bolt hit her in a cartoon"

On the right side...

Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!)

I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?).

I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I’m a slut but I’m really not.

I wuz wearing a blak leather nightgun. Under that I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, with a matching thong that said goffik gurl on the butt and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong

It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt that said ‘666’ on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset.

#fashiondisastertournament #round 2 #miu miu jojo #miuccia miuller #jjba #jojo's bizzare adventure golden wind #ebony dark'ness dementia raven way #my immortal

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herslvt · 11 months

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Miami || Taeyong x Afab!Reader

Warnings ‼️ 18+ Mentions of Alcohol, Age gap! (Taeyong is 30 reader is 22), Divorced!Taeyong, Unprotected sex (dont be like this), Public Sex (They're on the beach), Missionary, Oral (reader receiving), cum eating, use of pretty girl & baby, Reader is black like always 🫵🏾 I in fact use the N word at least twice in here so like I said reader is black! Honestly it's actually very intimate, I was gone make this like a one night stand type thing but I can't write that I need my shit to have meaning 🌚 this also is very long....

Song: Poundtown by Sexxy Red (I find that song so funny bcs what are you even talking abt 😭) the song is loosely referenced only once

“I’m out here in Miami, lookin for the hoochie daddy’s”

"Girl it's spring break lighten up" your best friend Aaliyah say pushing you lightly. "You're 22 with no kids and you're single but you stressing like a single mother of 5" she says making you roll your eyes. Preferably you would be in your hotel room taking a nap, but Aaliyah was persistent on taking you out to the beach. There was a party of some sort going on and where there were party's in Miami there was alcohol and dudes ready to blow a couple bands on pretty females. And that's exactly what Aaliyah was looking for. For the two of you to be best friends you were in fact polar opposites.

"Too many bitches where the niggas at" she says making you laugh. This wasn't really your scene and you definitely didn't plan on going home with any dudes tonight. "Well you can go looking for them, I wanna sit and enjoy the water" you say. She looks at you eyes kind of sad. "Y/n, I promise if you want to go back to the room we can. I don't want you to be here and you're not happy" she says. You smile at her. "Aaliyah I'm fine, I don't wanna kill your fun I'm fine chilling out here while you do your thing" you say making her nod. "Okay but if at any point you wanna leave text me and I'll come find you" she says.

Normally the two of you would never split up like this, but you both wanted to do different things and you both were okay with that. You've spent the last 2 days doing things together this was you guys time apart.

You walk further towards the shore sitting down. You watch as the small waves crash into the shore which was much more peaceful unlike the loud drunken partying going on further up on the beach. Your white toes buried in the sand, gold anklet barely visible. The smell of salt water and alcohol clouding your sense of smell. The cool air making you wish you'd worn more than just a Bikini and Sundress. Your braids pulled back into a low ponytail as to keep them out of your face.

"Is this seat taken" you hear from behind you startling you. You look back to see a man, someone you definitely did not know. "It's not" you say turning your head back towards the ocean. "Guess your not the party type" he says. His voice was very attractive. "Nope, I'm here with my friend, you?" You say looking at him again.

"Same" he says looking at the water. "Just got divorced and the first thing my friends do is drag me to Miami." He states making your jaw drop. "You're divorced! You don't look a day over 20" you nearly yell making him laugh. "Thanks" he says still smiling. His dimples showing, who would be dumb enough to divorce this man. "If you don't mind me asking, why'd you get divorced?" You ask.

"She cheated on me" he says making you frown. He said it so casually as if he was used to it. "How long were y'all married?" You ask now just blatantly being nosy. "You sure do ask a lot or questions" he says shaking his head. You frown at him making him laugh. "Dont worry, it's very cute" he says. You feel your skin heating up, thank god it was getting dark out here. Everytime he smiled at you you felt yourself get weaker in the knees. You said you weren't planning on going home with anyone tonight but he might be an exception.

You mustve zoned out because a few seconds later he was waving his hand in front of your face. "I'm sorry" you say making him laugh. "You're a very pretty girl" he says, this time it was your turn to laugh. "Hey why're you laughing I'm serious" he says frowning. "Because, you're making me nervous" you rest your head on your knees which are now pulled up to your chest. "I can't possibly make you that nervous" he says making you smile. "I don't think a guy has ever made me this nervous," you admit making him curious.

"Well then I guess I'm doing something right" he says. The two of you sit and talk a little while more. You talked about a variety of things even talking about simple stuff like your favorite colors and food. He made you laugh harder than any guys had before. Soon you get a phone call from Aaliyah. You excuse yourself and take the call. "Ooo girl who you sitting with" she asks making you look behind you. There she was standing at the top of the beach with a drink in hand. "This guy I just met,” you tell to your best friend. “You must like him, I seen you smiling awfully hard” she says making you laugh. “I don’t know, kinda,” you admit. "Well are you going back with him?" She asks. "Probably not," you say making her scoff.

"And why not!?" She slurs clearly drunk. "Because you're drunk and who's gonna take you back up to the room?" You state. You watch her shuffle around a bit. "I'll go back up to the room right now and let you have your fun, stop worrying about me" she says. You sigh, she was even more stubborn when drunk and you knew she wasn't going to let you walk her back up to your room. "Fine Liyah, but I’m staying on the phone with you until you get inside the room" you say. "Fine" you could tell she was rolling her eyes.

Just like you said you stayed on the phone with her until she made it in the room and whole time you were on the phone Taeyong sat on the beach patiently waiting for you to finish. When you finally hung up you sat down next to Taeyong again. "I'm sorry that took so long" you say. "Oh no it's fine I understand" he says. This man was a literal angel and you met him what an hour and half ago?

The beach was beginning to clear out now. The only people left was hotel staff cleaning up what was left of the party. "You know, you don't have to stay on the beach with me" you say. "I know, but I want to" he smiles. "Why are you so perfect?" You say barely above a whisper. You weren't expecting him to hear you but he did. He looks at you, lips slightly parted. "When I came to Miami I had no intent of falling in love, but you've definitely changed that" he says making your eyes widen at his confession. He looks back at the water ignoring the fact you were litterally staring into his soul.

He just so casually said he was falling in love with you. You started to get caught up in your thoughts. Did he mean it? Taeyong was a charmer, he had you under his spell with just a few words and a smile. This can't be love. You were to young to be in love or that's what you thought atleast. Though this man was years older than you, you knew that there we're clearly feelings for him on your end. You were 22 and he just turned 30. It sounded so wrong, but felt so right making you want it more.

You look around, it was now completely dark; the only light was coming from the buildings around the beach. The hotel staff now gone. The silence between you and Taeyong had been going on for at least 2 minutes now. When you called his name to get his attention he jumped a bit. Right as he looked at you, you pressed your lips into his. The way his lips felt against your was intoxicating.

His hands gently find placement on your waist as he deepens the kiss. His tongue slides into your mouth as you let him take control. Your arms wrap around his neck pulling him in closer. He pulled away looking into your eyes. His eyes dark with lust. "I'm not fucking you on the sand" he says, the tone of his voice completely different from earlier sending chills down your spine and heat right to your core. He holds out his hand helping you up off the sand. He spots an empty Cabana and pulls you inside.

"Are you okay with us continuing?" He asks as you straddle his lap. You nod but he wasn't satisfied. "I need you to use your words baby" he whispered against your lips. "Yes, I want to continue" you say. His hands go to take off your sundress. He starts kissing down your neck stopping at your bikini top. He looks into your eyes as he slowly pulls at the strings holding your top together.

"Please stop teasing me" you whine grinding your hips into his. You could feel him getting hard under you. "I want to take my time, but I guess I could save that for another day." He says making your head spin at the thought of y'all doing all of this again on another day. He pulls off your top playing with your breasts before going to your bottoms.

He flips you over so now your back is against the beach chair. He takes off your bottoms running his fingers through your lips. "T's so pretty" he mumbles rubbing your clit. The way he looked at you made you shy. You tried to close your legs but his hands stopped you. "Sorry pretty girl, can't let you do that" he says. He continues to rub your clit as he dives into your pussy. He clearly knew what he was doing. The way his tongue skillfully sucked on your clit as his fingers slid in and out of you left your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

One of your hands goes to grip his hair unintentionally pushing him further into you. Your other hand goes to cover your mouth to keep from being too loud. "Baby you're soaking" he says making you moan louder than intended. "You must want people to hear how pretty you sound for me baby?" He asks, speeding up his fingers. He looks up at you eyes full of love. The way your brown skin was glowing under the moon light and the way you tried your best to stay quiet and be a good girl for him drove him crazy. "Mm coming" you whimper he uses his free hand to hold down your hips as he works you through your orgasm.

You moan his name as you cum all over his fingers drawing him in even more. He didn't think he could have such strong feelings for a girl so soon. He'd been married for 3 years, he didn't even think he was this in love with his wife. The energy you radiated just brought a sense of calmness to him. You were nothing like his ex wife, you were young and full of life. You showed interest in him, you were a sweetheart. The way you looked at him whenever he spoke made his heart flutter.

He pulls his fingers out licking them clean. "Are you ready pretty?" He asks. "Yes please fuck me" you whine making him chuckle. The way you begged for him turned him on. He pulled off his shirt and dropped his shorts in a heartbeat. He slides inside of you kissing your lips. He was a lot bigger than you had expected, the stretch was something you definitely weren't used to. His lips kiss all over your neck and collarbone as you get adjusted to him. Your fingers tangled in his hair, his hands holding onto your hips. "M' ready" you whimper.

His pace starts off slow but soon speads up. Your legs wrap around his waist and your nails scratch along his back. The way he fucked you was like nothing you'd ever had before. The way his hips rolled into yours consistently rubbing your walls the way you liked had your eyes rolling and your mouth open. You could do nothing but whine and whimper everytime his hips collided with yours. "So tight" he groans burrying his head in your neck. He was trying his best to not come so soon especially not inside you but the way you gripped his dick had his head in the clouds. Before everything else though, he wanted to make you cum first. He started to rub your clit making your brain go blank.

Being quiet was long forgotten as you were screaming his name as you came leaving a white ring around his cock. He fucked you through your orgasm before pulling out nutting on your tummy. "Fuck" was all he said before collapsing next to you. Your brain was foggy. So much just happened and you haven't even processed it all. "That was the best sex I've had in my life" you giggle looking at Taeyong. His eyes were closed though he clearly wasn't asleep.

"Tae" you mumble poking his side. "Hmh" he responds. "Are you okay" you asks concern lacing your voice. You were scared that he was regretting everythihg. Regretting saying he was falling in love, regretting fucking you. You didn't know what was going on in his head. "Moment of honesty" he says. You nod letting him know you were listening. He looks in your eyes, "ive genuinely never felt this way about anyone before" he says making you smile.

"Me neither, but I trust you. I met you what 4 hours ago" you say looking at the time on your phone. "I met you 4 hours ago and you've given me more in those 4 hours than a man has done in a relationship." You say making him frown. "You deserve the world" he says. "And so do you, if I was your wife I would've never did you like that" you say. He presses a kiss to your now swollen lips, "I meant what I said earlier. I want to see you again and take my time with you. Not just that, I want to get to know you seriously" he says. "I'd like that" you say kissing him one last time.

Once the two of you get up, you use your sundrese to clean the cum off of your stomach. Taeyong gives you his shirt to wear. You don't put your swimsuit back on opting to just carry it. Taeyong slides his shorts and boxers back on before picking you up bridal style and carrying you back to his room which conveniently was on the same floor as yours. He spent the rest of the night taking care of you, treating you like the princess you are.

»»————> 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐸𝑛𝑑<————««

#taeyong #nct taeyong #nct #nct smut #nct x reader #black reader #nct x black reader #taeyong x reader #taeyong x you #taeyong x black reader #kpop #x black reader #x black fem reader #taeyong x fem reader #taeyong smut #nct taeyong x reader #herslvt

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bad-got-imagines · 1 year

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freedom las vegas!!! eventual bolton?(;D)!reader x theon greyjoy

your bastard brother ramsey bolton was torturing some guy again. you sighed as you heard the screaming, wishing he’d just shut up so you could focus on dissecting the dead baby fox in front of you. you licked its blood off your finger as your bedroom door pounded.

“what?” you called out, pissed that ramsey got to be the heir and u didn’t.

“mr bolton wants u to cum to his torture room. NOW!!!!1!!” you recognised miranda’s stupid preppy voice. she tried to be dark and evil like u and ur brother but she was too much of a whore.

“fuck off slut!” you heard her huff and stomp away. regardless, you obeyed your brother - he was a man after all - and hopped to his room.

“ah y/n!” he grinned when you leapt through the door frame, feeding your momentum into an army roll into him.

“what do u want?” you roared, flirtily.

“this fucking man is theon greyjob.” he pointed to the very thing and panting man tied up, spread-eagle on the cross of jesus christ our lord amen.

“sso?” you retorted.

“i am torturing him.” he whispered back.

“and?’

“i am fucking torturing him!!!!!!!!1!!!!!” he had had a stomach ache so was being a cranky pants >:( ((((((a/n poor ramsee >o< love u bby ramsey boltun: love u 2 author-chan me: >:00))))).

“fine. i will suck his toes” you sighed. ramsey grinned as you go to your knees.

(((((((((((a/n incest is sexxy if you are incestrophobic then gtfo!!!! >>>:[))))))))

but when you looked up, theon’s dirty big toe sat on your tongue, your eyes met his light blue orbs. they were....... beautiful.

the toe dropped put of your mouth with a slimy pop, “theon handjob. i am in love with you!!”

his crystal cerulean sight balls filled with tears, “babygirl I love you 2!!!1!”

you stood up and with your bare hands you snapped ramseys neck.

“now we r free my love.” you roared. and grabbed his hand.

theon laughed, “seize the means of production.”

you laughed too.

it was time to be yourself: y/n targaryen, the lost princess of old valyria and heir to throne of gondor.

#bad got imagines #bad game of thrones imagines #game of thrones x reader #got imagines #game of thrones imagines #got #game of thrones #theon greyjoy #theon greyjoy x reader

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thesinglesjukebox · 2 months

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FLO MILLI - "NEVER LOSE ME"

youtube

Don't worry, Flo -- we definitely don't want to lose you!

[6.22]

Alfred Soto: Charming, and I won't change it if I catch it on the radio, but Sexxy Red added panache to her sexxytalk. [6]

Harlan Talib Ockey: “Hey, remember that weird era when a bunch of female rappers had a run of awkward, Doja-inflected, pop-friendly singles? The Flo Milli ones were subpar." [4]

Nortey Dowuona: Apparently the original beat by Gerreaux Katana, who is popular enough to place a beat with two rappers but still has a Beatstars page that if you make any kind of music you should immediately peruse, samples the soft, plaintive track "Anata Ga Iru Jinsei" by Jin Kirigaya, a Japanese balladeer. I hope he makes a mint from this (he won't), because it is a beautiful song. I wholeheartedly agree: you don't ever want to lose her. [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Slightly surreal to hear Flo Milli in such soft focus. Babyface Ray and 42 Dugg used this Jin Kirigaya loop the way they tend to use '80s R&B of its ilk, a gleaming counterpoint to the grime of their raps; Flo Milli plays it straight but subverts her own reputation. If she didn't sound so poised here, it'd be easy to write this off as a crass bit of pop crossover. Instead, it comes off as a bit of a flex, a demonstration that she can be nearly as compelling when her taunts are buried under layers of gloss. [7]

Dave Moore: Finding a midpoint between hypertrap drone and the cheesy demo instrumental for a new DAW plugin isn't a bad look for Flo Milli, whose best track from last year was kinda her worst: PG-13 "BGC," which would have sounded great soundtracking the kind of teen sex comedy they stopped making at least a decade ago. But her personality doesn't quite work for modal rap. I hate to say that she should be selling out harder, but fake suits her. [5]

Taylor Alatorre: Not the complete abdication to romantic and sexual bliss that it might seem at first -- the title is an implicit threat, after all, and the secondhand beat carries the air of something unsettled, as if searching for a steady focal point that just isn't there. Flo Milli doesn't prod at these nuances because she doesn't need to, and also because it would eat up too much of the two-minute runtime if she tried. [6]

Katherine St. Asaph: The insistent repetition of "tell me you'll never want to lose me" -- I measured, and the line makes up about one-quarter of this 2:07 song -- lends "Never Lose Me" a palpable possessiveness that's a touch Fatal Attraction, in a good way with interesting subtext. Between this and "Kill Bill" -- maybe add in various reappraisals of that film and similar -- we've got ourselves enough for a trendpiece! [7]

Leah Isobel: Flo Milli is irrepressible; even when she's drafted into this glittering dreamscape, she finds ways to push her voice outward, away from the aqueous sensuality of the piano and toward the straightfoward throb of the drum track underneath. It's nice! And a little awkward. [6]

Ian Mathers: There's enough sustain on the piano that it feels warm, layered, almost humming. For an interlude (sorry, TikTok) length track like this, something that just sounds good like that, plus a pretty basic beat and a winning/punchline-dense performance on top, are really all you need. [8]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#flo milli #music #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #never lose me #Youtube

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sob-sister · 2 months

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Martha Stewart https://www.instagram.com/marthastewart48/p/C1cEFCYOv-P/ https://www.instagram.com/reel/CiQADs6Akhq/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=ee9fb251-1799-4d5c-9c65-1482dc018f01&ig_mid=B072D2EC-38E2-415F-8118-7C5ECD46645E The video is kind of risqué so fair warning. (Yes there’s nothing underneath)

82 years old

An American retail businesswoman, writer, and television personality

Her work tends to focus on homemaking and hospitality. So she knows how to be a real sweetheart just like Jack likes.

Said in interview she listens to a lot of rap music and is besties with Snoop Dogg. So she will support Jack’s career.

Has 1 child named Alexis Stewart. Who is 58 years old. So even if Martha passes, he can just date the daughter as she’s also in his preferred age range.

Brandy Norwood https://www.instagram.com/brandy/p/C1LWyTNs0ha/ https://www.instagram.com/brandy/p/CfUHlJ8Lzvq/?img_index=7

45 years old

Born in 1979, so Jack’s favorite decade.

An American singer, songwriter, actress, and model.

Have already worked together and can expand their music collaborations.

Already said she felt loved and appreciated by Jack and that he gave her a magical night 😏

Has one daughter named Sy’rai that’s 21 years old. Way out of Jack’s preferred age range so Brandy will never have to worry about him cheating.

SexyyRed https://www.instagram.com/sexyyred/p/C4CKnPvMOGX/?img_index=2 https://www.instagram.com/p/Cx9kX3VMwOh/

25 years old. So out of Jack’s preferred age range of 33 and up. But has other great qualities he looks for in a woman.

An American rapper.

Known to be a real sweetheart by her fans.

Jack has expressed liking her music and even sang a verse of hers at one of his shows. They can make a rap collaboration album. https://www.instagram.com/jharlowupdates/p/CueX8jnuYkb/?img_index=5 (See slide 5 for video)

Has two small children. So Jack will be able to take on the step-father role that has been dreaming of.

candidate #1 - miss martha.

i hear she knows what great mac and cheese sounds like 😉 and rumour has it she owns an entire island, so jack can really go into hiding. 😂 nobody is doing it like miss martha. i mean look at her, serving!! i am sure urban will appreciate her friendship with snoop dogg, a win for everyone involved!

candidate #2 - miss brandy.

the perfect package. looking like a couple already. hope he brushes up on his knowledge of her songs before they become official.

candidate #3 - sexxy red.

i have nothing to say besides that i can't wait to see them do photo shoots likes this. i am sure the jack version will be even better. lol.

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daisy-randone-reincarnated · 2 months

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My "halfsister" "wants to be a singer" and I told her that I wanna sing because you know I'm a very creative guy and I love making things

She said "but you can't sing,stick to painting"

And no lie after I tell her that hurt me she says

"Okay get put of my room go be like these new untalented people like sexxy red"

And kicked me out

She's in her 20s mind you, and is (trying to) tear down a young kids dreams because she wants to do the same thing and is scared ill outshine her

A few days later, I stupidity go back to her room

I tell her how much it hurt me

She said "I felt like you where trying to mock me and I've never heard you say you want to sing"

I said "well I'm telling you"

She kept looking down at her phone with "leave me the fuck alone" look

She said sorry but it was a leave me the fuck alone get out of my room type sorry

Before that I wanted to build a studio in my closet,not even for music at the time, it was more of like a hang out type thing

I (stupidly) asked which supplies I should get and I told her about sound panels

She said I was copying her and she "had the idea first"

Mind you my sister doesn't just do this with me

She does this with people claiming their "off key" when singing and just overall just criticize them

I'm not innocent either

Waaay before this

I always told her "hey get up,work,show me a song"

Even going as far as breaking in her phone to hear something

But I was a kid, and I knew and she talked to me about what she wanted to do with her career

I was just trying to help but didn't understand I was rushing her

Now I that I'm older and I know how that pressure to show something that's not ready feels

It sucks

But, like I said

No one will stop me from chasing my dreams

So to my sister. I'm sorry

I forgive you

But I will prove you wrong and will never let you get that close to me or my creative ideas

I hope the person reading this does the same

Thank you, -sincerely Daisy Randone

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ayeeyo1 · 3 months

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Bro the wack ness of these self objectifying women entertainers shows when they speak about other women and their own body. Sexxy red pretending not to know what a “vulva” is and calling it a “ Coochie” saying she doesn’t like Vaginas because they stink. Cardi B changing every once of her body to look more like a doll so her disgusting baby daddy can STILL cheat on her. These women are not expressing their sexuality, if so they would love their bodies and by extension the bodies of other women. It’s never about her pleasure but how disgusting of an object she can make herself. These women need help fr

#radical feminism

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smokeybrand · 4 months

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Disappointed

Last year was absolutely bunk for hip hop. I tend not to really mention music on this blog, mostly because I don’t really listen to the radio like, but I did notice a trend that’s been irking me for the last half decade or so. Ever since asshole mumble rappers broke through with their Souncloud clout chasing, Hip Hop has been mired in this cesspool of pedestrian “creativity”. These records don’t deserve any of the airtime they’ve been getting and it sucks because other, legitimately good, MCs are getting passed over for the next Lil Asshole or some baddie with a BBW who doesn’t right her own sh*t. I’ve never been a fan of Cardi B’s music but, let’s be honest, she got as big as she did because she’s “pretty.” Thanks to that blueprint, I get to deal with insipid rhymes and superficial lyrics from admittedly stunning women like Coi Leray and Ice Spice. The latter literally said she doesn’t right complicated or insightful songs specifically so the most people in her audience, can vibe to the music. That’s fine, I don’t mind an occasional, insipidly vapid, pop-rap hit every now and again, but when it’s your intent to flood the market with that sh*t, we have a problem. How are you not a plant at that point? How are you not a shill? IF your verse makes every song you get on worse, why are you even doing music?

I got Sexxy Red out here, hoeing around, infecting me with audible herpes, while Drake is writing diss tracks at Rhianna because she became the mother of not his children. Bro, this is the bar right now? This trash is what the kids are making hot in the streets? I’m going to be forty this September. I grew up on Rap and RnB. Cats used to make records which stood the test of time. Why is Big counted as one of the greats when he only dropped two f*cking albums, one posthumously? What record out right now, or in the last five or so years, not released from and established artist or cats not named Cole or Kendrick, will EVER hit as hard as Juicy? That sh*t is f*cking thirty years old! It was Big’s VERY first single and still slaps harder than ninety percent of records out! Who is making music like that now? Drake? 21 Savage? F*cking Post Malone? I mean, we do get gems on occasion. Man on the Moon III was peak Cudi. I already mentioned Kendrick and J. Cole. Outside of these cats, what the f*ck is going on? My radio is full of Drill music, that Chicago sound, and it’s bullsh*t. I’m just going to say that out loud. It sounds like sh*t and does nothing but breed problems. This is that ignorant sh*t everyone THINKS rap is, that cats from my generation fought so hard against.

Look, I’m not trying to sound like three “old Head who thinks his era is the best and no new music is valid” but seriously? 2023 was the worst year for hip hop in decades and I don’t see it getting better anytime soon. Honestly, it’s not like I hate everything out nowadays. I have a fondness for Da Baby and, surprisingly, Lil Yachty got pretty good out of nowhere. TI’s kid, Domani Harris, is f*cking brilliant and needs more eyes on him as soon as possible. I enjoy most of Doja Cat, she’s come so far from being a cow and, as much as I sh*t on Ice Spice, I’d be lying if I said Boy’s a Liar pt. 2 was a straight bop. None of that makes up for the fact I got a DLC for Drakes last album, because the initial release was trash and the f*cking City Girls are a thing right now. The bar is so f*cking low right now, and we, as a culture, can’t seem to lift it up. It’s wild to me that creatives like Missy Elliot and proven wordsmiths like Method Man or Busta Rhymes, are overlooked in favor of Travis Scott and Lil Durk. Who the f*ck is Lil Durk?? Why the f*ck is NBA Youngboy a thing but I have to listen to some twenty year old tell me how whack Eminem is? Hip Hop, specifically Rap, is an art form. It takes talent, thought, and charisma to create a piece. If all you’re doing is throwing up trigger fingers and making “skeeyee” noises, please stop. You’re killing the culture and making everyone look like assholes.

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