#LOOK i'll work on the actual baby fic at some point

[withered--s0uls]

Oh look it's another GD crossover

Ghost Drone AU - @electrozeistyking

You already saw all this art but shhh HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

This originally started out with me just wanting to draw Beanie interacting with the Intertwined Codes Kids but then I added some extra stuff lol.

If you're a reader of Intertwined Codes, this kinda sorta spoils future stuff bc only the twins have been mentioned in the Draft/Teaser fic but oh well. You have been warned.

IC!Uzi wouldn't like actually meet GD!N bc they'd kinda decide that "hey, let's not have the widowed man see an alternate version of his wife that actually got live." simply out of respect kinda?? So she would stick around at home with the kids whilst IC!N goes out to look for Beanies Dad after their kids drag her to them lmao.

So yeah she doesn't necessarily know the extent of the mans depression, the kids just mentioned there only being a dad so she just specifically asks about GD!N in this doodle

IC!N would quickly pick up on GD!N not being completely okay, even without being told any details. So he probably would end up sitting him down to talk on their way back to the IC!Doorman families place, wanting to help if he can in any way. (He runs a Daycare and tries to also be a support to any parent that needs it, so I feel he out of habit would lean into trying to do that with GD!N)

More/The kids under the Cut otherwise the post looks so long rip

I will go over each of these one by one (can'tdo close ups bc 10 image limit, I'll reblog this in a second with the close ups.)

Left are the Code-Related Nuzi kids, right are the adopted ones.

Code related kids

Zagi:

Not much to say, I'm still working out their personality - they're maybe 2-3 years older than Beanie, so they aren't too far apart in age. :)

Orita:

She's the sibling who started the trend of putting stickers on her siblings, so she DEFINITELY would do the same with Beanie.

She also probably originally was going to show her how to build a weapon, but her parents promptly stopped that lmao .

She would think it's really cool that Beanie has a custom core icon & in general is completely customized from the start! She herself was originally put into a regular worker body (just with the tail and headband being custom made by her mom), she had to build the DD forearms herself. She also has a sticker of the DD icon on her core, covering the WD icon :3

Rexim:

At this point he has enough siblings to be past the "ew a little kid" phase, so luckily Beanie gets spared that. His main camera is damaged, he only really uses his headband optics to look around, so he would kinda just look as if he's staring past her a lot. But bc of the obvious cracks in his visor I feel she would pick up on the fact he's not actually ignoring her.

Also he definitely would just play music to her, because IC!Uzi kinda always has music on whilst working in her workspace he kinda picked up some of her taste in music (Hence he's playing the same song that Uzi is shown to have been listening to in Ep7)

Raven:

First up THANK YOU Zeisty for helping me brainstorm silly stuff for them. They're a little ball of chaos now and I love them.

Anyways.

They would join Orita in bedazzling Beanie, and then they'd start talking about bird facts and also try to get Beanie to talk about her interests.

(Their height difference isnt 100% accurate bc halfway through drawing this I changed the IC timeline, making Raven about the same age as Zagi instead of them being a teen, so I kinda had to manually try and semi-fit their heights lol)

Adopted Kids

Ray:

Nothing to say. He's a baby. Tho whilst I was outlining this one I had to giggle because of how big he is in Beanies hands. She's so tiny 😭💕 /affectionate

Annika:

Oh boy. Ann.

Annika is the eldest kid & was adopted a while before Zagi was coded / whilst the parents were organizing the code copies for Zagi

She does NOT know how to talk to other kids. Never did. It made her stick out at the orphanage wing because she just avoided everyone. And it is very chaotic when Olivia and Ray first show up, because Ann's only idea of talking to other Drones is "well you got to be relatable" so she brings up the siblings dead parents bc like, her code parents are dead too. Both pairs dying to DDs. So yeah she probably would be the first, if not only one, in the whole household to just bring up GD!Uzi. She would do it like it's nothing either.

IC!Uzi would promptly get her to stop and sit her down having a conversation about "what did N and I say about trying to connect on that topic?"

Like IC!Uzi would actually feel really bad about it despite Beanie not knowing her mom. Bc she herself obviously didn't remember IC!Nori growing up but still didn't like the topic.

Olivia:

Olivia, as I said, was greeted with the topic of dead parents by Annika as well. So she probably would kinda interfere when IC!Uzi goes to sit Ann down to talk.

She would feel the need to apologize for the older girls behavior (which Ann would apologize for herself later too ofc) and would try to get Beanie to go play something together whilst IC!Uzi sorts that whole situation out.

She's also the closest to Beanies age probably, just was forced to mature bc of what happened to her parents, despite being taken in by Nuzi shortly after. She still obviously acts like a kid tho when comfortable, so I feel she would kinda ease up around Beanie and actually act more like a 4-5 year old around her.

Bonus? Bonus!

Needless to say Beanie would return home covered in stickers & hairpins (Orita & Raven have more than enough of those, they'd just let Beanie keep some)

RIP GD!N having to get her out of those stickers once they're back home

Also, for the "*humming*" variation of the picture I blame @k1k0oftheworld. Kiko was in vc with me when I was talking about how Beanie would be covered in stickers when she gets home, and saw the doodles as well.

He proposed the following scenario after seeing Rexim show Beanie IC!Uzis playlist:

Beanie humming dead batteries song & GD!N having a breakdown bc it reminds him of GD!Uzi

I do not take accountability for this, I was going to spare the poor widowed man.

(I scrapped the idea of him not knowing ab the IC!Doorman family and him getting a mini heart attack when Beanie goes "I met Mom today" in favor of him and IC!N meeting & talking - I WANTED TO SPARE HIS POOR HEART)

@k1k0oftheworld you owe him money for a therapy session now /silly

Anyways that's it, I'll put the close ups in the reblog like I said 👍

#murder drones #serial designation n #md #uzi doorman #ghost drone au #Intertwined codes #beanie doorman #Nuzi ship kids #like a lot of them #I'm tagging all of my kids in the reblog i dont have the patience rn #au crossover #gd x ic #ghost drone x intertwined codes #ElectroZeistyKing

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

omg i understand its okay🥹🤍

then can i request a fic w lando where the reader is really down lately, not eating or sleeping and just like sad because she’s feeling rly nostalgic and theyre away from home and she’s like scared of growing up (even tho she’s like barely 21) and lando gets really concerned when he notices shes losing weight and sleep and stuff so he confronts her and she breaks down😔 sry if that made no sense again just smthn im going through because i keep listening to ribs by lorde

We Have A Life Together - LN

First of all, I hope you're ok. Please make sure you're taking care of yourself, if you're that young it's so important to know that you there's good and bad days for all of us. But never ever put selfceare as the last priority.

I am going to alter this slightly. I'm going to make her closer to Lando's age, if that's ok, just bc I have an idea that I feel like would work well for the fearing growing up idea.

Y/n loves nothing more than being there to support Lando, she wants to see him succeeding. But sometimes these things come at a cost for herself.

Y/n hasn't been sleeping or eating for what feels like weeks, maybe months now.

"Baby...are you coming with me or joining later?" Lando asks, waking her up from the depth of sleep as he kisses her shoulder, his hands either side of her body to keep himself held up over her.

"Later. I'm still tired." Y/n murmurs not opening her eyes and while she hears a sigh from the driver before he kisses her skin softly again.

"Ok, I'll see you later." He states while she tries not to grimace, though her face is pressed mostly into the pillow so he can't really see it. "Make sure you order something from room service. You missed breakfast."

Y/n knows it's a new low to pretend to sleep just so she can rot in bed but it's the only thing she has the energy to today. In the moment, she can't possibly think of anything worse than getting up and trying to look presentable.

When her alarm goes to let her know she's really pushing her luck to get showered, ready and to the paddock before Lando is actually out on the track. She finally peels herself out of the bed and drags herself to the bathroom.

She's began to lose the ability to recognise herself. The dark bags weighing her whole face down, she's exhausted. The lack of sleep is visibly and her face has hollowed out by the lack of appetite that's meant she's lost weight too, only adding to her woes.

It's only a matter of time before Lando breaks up with her. They might be getting older but the two of them are not nearing the point of "for better or worse" so he's got no obligation to stay with her while she stops taking care of herself.

After her best efforts to look more alive and less like a dead body walking. She finally leaves, getting a car to the paddock and making her way inside.

Her mind wanders, as it seems to a lot recently, leaving her bumping into a body and with her lack of eating means her ability to react quick enough to catch herself leaves her landing ungracefully on the ground.

"Ow." Y/n winces as the body she bumps into rushes to aid her getting up.

"Y/n, I'm so sorry." George states as he hooks his hands under her armpits and nearly throws her up onto her feet. "Oh bloody hell, sorry. You're lighter than I expected. Nearly caused more injury there. Are you alright?"

"No. No. I'm fine. It's my fault, I wasn't even looking where I was going." Y/n rambles shaking her head and noticing George frown at her. "Have you seen Lando? Just easier to ask than go looking and find he's not in the unit."

"I saw him doing some video content with Oscar. I think they're out on the track to be honest." George states then clearing his throat. "Are you sure you're alright? You hit the ground pretty hard."

Y/n thinks of the ache humming through her bones from the impact. Losing weight certainly means less cushioning for falls in clumsy moments.

"I'm good, certainly landed myself with worse injuries on a night out on the town." Y/n jokes managing to give the blonde brit a genuine smile. "I should go, I got here late. Needed extra sleep."

That seems to go unbelieved if George's expression is anything to go off of. Not that she's surprised, her attempts at covering up her exhaustion haven't done much to really improve anything.

"I'll see you guys later." Y/n smiles before she rushes off trying to locate her boyfriend. The last thing she really wants is to have to deal with other people, she was hoping to find him on his own. The marketing girls can get a little possessive over the McLaren drivers' attention being on anyone but them when they're trying to make content and Lando is...easily distracted by his girlfriend.

After about 10 minutes of looking, she manages to locate them.

They're doing some sort of race but as she appears she sees the marketing team deflate.

Lando is in the car with Oscar and when she walks over to the team, one particularly nasty girl looks her up and down.

"You look awful, when Lando said you'd be here late. I thought you might be actually making an effort when you come here." Katie comments making her sigh a little before deciding to remain quiet with young woman.

"Baby! There you are. I got your message but I was told off for being on my phone." Lando chuckles as he jumps out the car and moves to her, though he notices an injury both her and George really hadn't noticed. "Are you bleeding?"

His large hand grabs her wrist and shoves a scrap that she really hadn't noticed.

"Oh, uh...yeah. I bumped into George when I was on my way and fell over like an idiot." Y/n explains trying to be nonchalant as Lando inspects her injury. "Honestly, just wasn't looking where I was going."

"Guys, are we done?" Lando asks looking at the marketing team.

"Well we wanted to-"

"Sounds like a yes. I'm just taking y/n to the medical centre to clean her up." Lando states making the marketing team watch with strained smiles as they nod.

At one point they had tried to speak up to Lando about y/n disrupting content recording. So he told them that if they had something like that to say ever again then he'd be happy to tell them to fuck off, as he did on that occasion.

After she's cleaned up with instruction to be more careful Lando pulls her to his drivers' room.

"What did you get to eat?" Lando asks, already knowing the answer that she's about to give him.

"Oh uhh...I ended up not ordering. Figured I'd get something here." Y/n smiles always trying to appear happy and positive with her boyfriend especially when they're in the paddock and around his work.

"Baby, we need to talk." Lando states making her swallow thickly and look at him with a sigh. "What's going on?"

"What do you me?" Y/n questions with a small laugh and strained smile.

"Y/n, you're exhausted. You think I don't know you're not sleeping and not eating? I'm not blind. So can you please tell me why so I can help you however I need to so you are sleeping and eating again?"

Y/n knows that for Lando to call her out, it's his breaking-point. He doesn't like to talk about this sort of thing unless completely necessary.

"I'm scared." Y/n whispers knowing that to try and deny it would be a pointless effort.

"Scared of what?" Lando asks softly, almost fearing that it's him that's scaring her.

"It's just...everything is moving so quickly. You're 25 next year, and then I'm 25 after that and I miss home-god, I just I feel so homesick but then when I go home. I almost feel homesick with being away from you. I just feel like I'm getting left behind or being dragged along and I feel like such a burden to you. The anxiety is stopping me from sleeping and just the thought of food when it's in front of me makes me feel nauseous." Y/n starts crying harder and harder as she speaks and rambles.

"Ok, ok. Ok, let's just breathe and calm down." Lando soothes standing up and rushing to stand with her. "I've got you, just breathe with me."

His arms squeeze her as tightly as he feels like he can without making her heavy breathing worse.

Bjut eventually she's calmed down.

"Alright, baby. Do you know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think we need to get our families coming out to a few more races so you don't have to feel so homesick. We need to get more of your stuff over to our place in Monaco so you feel more at home. And you need to remember that...we are getting older but whenever I think of our future I think of...what ring I might get you...how you might look when I see you on the day of our wedding being walked down the aisle by your dad...how amazing you're going to look pregnant with any one of our kids...what we're going to speak the years after I retire doing because god we'll have so much time that you'll wish I would just leave you alone, but I won't. I can't imagine a future without you, but we have soooo much time before all of that. Well...most of it, maybe somethings will be coming sooner rather than later."

Y/n does finally smile in a way that he knows is her real genuine smile that isn't forced for anyone else's benefit.

"You're confident I'll be saying yes to a proposal."

"You can say that, but we both know I'm not wrong...look, it's ok to get in your head. But just tell me and I'll reassure you and let you know if it's worth being so neglectful towards yourself. Which for the record it's not. Especially when I am superhuman and can and will do anything and everything as a solution to whatever you're upset about, ok?"

"Ok."

"So does everything I said sound ok? Are you happy for us to figure this out all together?"

"Yes."

"Now, can we get you like three plates of food to eat. I'm going to sit with you and eat too, and make sure you eat everything I give you."

"Alright."

"Good. Well lets get moving because no better time like the present. Plus I'm hungry too." Lando smiles while moving to kiss her which she is more than accepting of before he manages to scoop her up. "Just in case you were planning on making a run for it. Or bumping into another driver who can apparently cause more damage than you realise."

#f1 #fanfic #formula 1 #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris x y/n #lando x reader #lando #norris #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x you #lando norris fluff #lando norris fic #lando norris one shot #ln4 one shot #ln4 #ln4 x reader #ln4 imagine #ln4 fic #ln4 fluff #mclaren #mclaren f1 #ln4 fanfic #ln4 x you #ln4 x y/n #mclaren formula 1 #mclaren racing #formula one

[blueparadis]

+ cw. —› ex-husband aizen souske x (fem)reader, headcanon format, yan!behaviour, smût, angst undertones, marking, jealousy, mentions of breeding kink & baby-trapping | +wc. —0.7kish

+ notes. —› i was listening to cherry waves by deftones ( for the first time ) & this happened. maybe I'll pull this into a fic but for now, have this, please || redirect to blog navigation.

+. ex!husband aizen souske who feels his throat dry, lips corrosive against his favorite drink when he sees you in a cheap restaurant with another guy, considerably younger to y/n, who is alluded in her charms like he was when he first saw her walking down the aisle; when he casually stopped by, at that cheap bar after a long day at work.

+. ex!husband aizen souske who makes sure that from now on he will pay a visit to you and his beloved daughters every weekend so that she does not have to look for affection at some cheap bars and restaurants. This way at least he can ask her if she is actually planning for her second innings or not.

+. ex!husband aizen souske who calls you at ungodly hours: on a warm afternoon or in the dead of night just to let remind you that he will be coming to pick you up after work tomorrow for a weekly visit with his daughters just so his other meetings do not get delayed but all he wants to do is to keep you on watch as much as possible.

+. ex!husband aizen souske occasionally sends gifts to his daughters in order to send his ex-wife expensive presents with personal notes, as if he will return to this home after his work as if he never left.

+. ex!husband aizen souske who checks you out when you're unaware and yet tells you in that familiar deep husky tone: how much those colors suit her that he hated once, how much she looks charming and beautiful, how much she changed since he left and maybe divorce looks good on her : independent and elegant like a free bird.

+. ex!husband aizen souske who thinks her new young boyfriend is not good enough for you, always ends up going to the same restaurants and hotels where he used to take her, just remembering those good old memories.

+. ex!husband aizen souske who wants you back can not just let this opportunity slide, that is, him visiting you when the daughters are not home; so he just asks if you ever regret it or not as if he still can, as if he owns you. And, when he is responded with the same question right back at him he secretly congratulates himself for getting under your skin.

+. ex!husband aizen souske who knows your weak points lets you walk away knowing very well that you will turn around to have a last glance at him. So, all he would do is not turn his gaze when you have already walked passed by him, so that when you turn around all he has to do is to grab your wrists above her head saying, “Answer me. I asked you a question. Do you or do you not regret it?”

+. ex!husband aizen souske who is currently inches apart from you, staring right into your eyes while you squirm and look away but his hold on you grows only stronger when he sees your beautiful eyes glistening more than it usually does, perhaps he scared you a bit, cocks his head to a side, in the dip of your neck inhaling her scent murmuring, “Still wearing that perfume I gifted you, huh ?”

+. ex!husband aizen souske who is absorbed in the good old memories of you, your scent, and what he used to do whenever you used to cry and look sad is now slowly curling his arms around your waist while his lips drag from the corner of your lips to the neckline and then on to collar bones.

+. ex!husband aizen souske who smirks the moment he hears you moaning, even if it's feeble he lets go of her hands so that you can rest them over his shoulders while he could carry her to the nearby cupboard top to make you feel less lonely. He has fucked her there, made babies with her and he can do it again.

+. ex!husband aizen souske who could already feel you gripping the collar of his suit while he presses his hard-on against your entrance is already marking all the way up your exposed neckline so that whenever you meet with your new young boyfriend, he would take the hint right away. There is no way he is losing to a mere boy like Gin Ichimaru. He has to be the better one.

– @tokyometronetwork & @underratedcharactercorner

@semisgroupie & @sailewhoremoon ( cuz you two like himmm ... that's why I tagged?! )

#aizen x y/n #aizen x you #aizen x reader #aizen sosuke x reader #aizen smut #aizen sōsuke #aizen sousuke #bleach smut #bleach angst #smut hcs #smut headcanons #sosuke aizen #souske aizen #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere x female reader #yandere x y/n #yandere smut #tw yandere #cw yandere #bleach x y/n #bleach x reader #bleach x you #bleach x female reader #gin ichimaru x reader #yandere hcs #yandere headcanons #yandere aizen #angst headcanons

[naivegh0ul]

Could you possibly do a soap platonic fic where ghost has a 9 year old daughter and she is the total opposite of ghost, she just rambles and she meets soap at base and they instantly become infatuated with each other and ghost finds them talking about sharks in immense detail to each other???

Oh my gosh that is such a cute idea! 🥹🥹🥹

Soap had no idea Ghost had a daughter. I mean, why would he, of all people, have a kid? Ghost is a lone wolf, "I work alone," may as well be his catchphrase at this point.

So, one night when the squad goes out for drinks, Ghost having been forced to come, Soap is curious as Ghost gets a call. Soap was surprised Ghost even had a phone, he just imagined he brought a radio everywhere with him, like the strict soldier he is.

Soap watched as Ghost stepped away from the bartop, murmuring a low, "Hey, sweetheart." into his phone. He assumed that maybe Ghost had a girl back home, but when Soap listened in further, he was shocked.

"I know, I know. Daddy will be home soon, alright? Behave for the babysitter. Alright, I love you too, sweetheart. Bye."

Wow, was all Soap could think. No way The Ghost has a child. Impossible, simply impossible. But, the way Ghost spoke to whoever was on the other line...

Soap had to investigate this.

For the next few weeks, Soap kept a close eye on Ghost, trying to listen in on his phone calls, peering around him when he was texting someone.

It was a little creepy, yeah, but Soap needed to know whether or not Ghost actually has a little mini-me or not.

Ghost seemed a little off one day, constantly on his phone, being mean to the recruits, (Well, meaner than usual.) It got Soap curious again. Ghost left the base around 2pm, and Soap watched with raised eyebrows.

To his knowledge, Ghost hadn't been called out on a mission, and he had left the base wearing civilian clothes, this all got the wheels turning in Soap's brain.

Ghost came back around 4pm, and Soap immediately went to greet him. Then, he saw it. Actually, he saw her. A little girl, huddled behind Ghost's back, clutching onto his jacket with a shark plushie in her small hand.

The little girl looked up at Soap with wide eyes, a twinkle of curiosity visible. "Hey, lass, I'm Soap. What's your name?" Soap said. The girl glanced up at Ghost as if to see if it was okay to talk to the strange man, and Ghost nodded down at her.

"Beth." She answered, smiling a little up at Soap. "Do you like sharks?" Beth pointed at Soap's mohawk, clearly thinking that it looked like a shark fin.

Ghost chuckled under breath, and Soap nodded. "I do. Does this little fella have a name?" Soap crouched down in front of Beth and gestured to the shark plushie she was holding.

"Sharkie!" Beth exclaimed with a happy smile. She seemed excited to be talking about her plushie. Beth toddled over to Soap and held up the toy, showing it to him while telling him facts about sharks.

Soap looked over at Ghost, smiling to himself as he saw the proud look in Ghost's eyes as he stared down at his little girl. Ghost stepped closer to the two and placed a hand on Beth's head before kneeling down.

"Daddy's gotta go finish some work, alright? I'll be back as soon as I can, you stay with Soap." Ghost said, stroking his daughter's hair lovingly. He lent down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head through his mask before walking away.

Soap felt his heart swell with happiness at the thought of Ghost trusting him enough to let him look after his daughter. "Alright, you little menace, what do you say we go get some ice cream?" Soap smiled as the little girl squealed in excitement and nodded, grabbing Soap's hand.

The entire car ride to the ice cream parlour, Beth was chattering away in the backseat, telling Soap all about sharks. "Did you know that baby sharks are called pups? Like little dogs! Isn't that cool?"

Soap pulled into the parking lot and helped Beth out, walking into the shop with her on his hip. "Mr. Soap, can I have chocolate ice cream?" Beth asked. She tugged on Soap's sleeve, looking at him hopefully.

"Of course you can, lass." Soap smiled, ruffling Beth's mousy brown hair. Soap ordered the two of them some ice cream, getting strawberry for himself and chocolate for Beth.

Beth kept talking the whole time, excitedly telling Soap about sharks, and about that one time when Ghost took her to an aquarium and she got to see a shark in person.

"It was so cool! It was kinda big and scary, but I know my Daddy could fight it off." Beth giggled at the story, beaming as she praised her father.

It was cute, to watch this little girl who is somehow Ghost's daughter despite being the complete opposite of him, ramble about sharks. "Do you work with my Daddy, Mr. Soap?" Beth asked curiously as she nibbled on her chocolate ice cream, smearing some around her lips.

"Yeah, I do. He's my friend, as well." Soap took a bite of his own ice cream, looking over at Beth as she scooped up some of her ice cream and pretending to feed it to her shark plushie, staining the shark's face a little.

Soap checked his watch after a while, his eyes widening as he realised they'd been gone for quite a while. "Let's go back, yeah? I bet Ghost- your dad is missing you." Soap said, catching himself when he referred to Ghost by his callsign, unsure if Beth knew about that.

The girl seemed oblivious and nodded her head, wiping her mouth on her sleeve before she hopped off her chair, shark plushie in hand.

The two headed back to base and Soap took Beth to the 141's common room, putting on some random kids show on the old TV for Beth to watch.

Soap sat back, watching as Beth sat cross legged on the floor and looked up at the TV, watching eagerly as Octonauts played. Beth seemed to be really enjoying the show, giggling loudly, it made Soap smile.

Beth continued to tell Soap about shark facts, pulling one off the top of her head each time a shark would show up on screen. She is actually quite smart, she knows more about sharks than any adult Soap knows.

Neither of them noticed when Ghost entered the room, Soap being too engrossed in the facts Beth is telling him. Ghost watched from the doorway, smiling under his mask as his little girl taught Soap about sharks.

(ok but why is this over 1k words. i think i've become obsessed with parent!ghost and little beth 🥹)

#dad!ghost #parent au #no reader #ghost cod #ghost #simon ghost riley #simon riley #soap cod #john soap mactavish #johnny soap mactavish #john mactavish #soap mactavish #soap fluff #ghost fluff #asks

[scarrletmoon]

About Powder Blue

This is going to be long. There are going to be discussions of suicide and trauma. This is going to be a bit of a jumbled mess because I can't tell a linear story to save my life. Don't feel like you need to read this, now or ever.

If you're wondering what the issues with PB were, and looking for what's next, read the indented text and skip the rest if you want!

I've had a bit of a...tumultuous relationship with the OFMD fandom. I've made close friends and lost them, made even closer friends who've very patiently reminded me of my worth when I needed that. I'm at a point where I'm still struggling, but I'm getting better. I'm still working on not being afraid. It's a bit of an uphill battle, but I'm still pushing my little boulder. I'm not alone this time, which is nice.

I entered the fandom as a nobody. I had almost 50 fics on AO3 and two had mildly popped off while I wasn't looking, but I wasn't really known for anything. I was a fandom ghost, posting my little fanfics and sharing them with the world because I just enjoyed the characters so much. Like a lot of people, I dreamed of being known for something. I thought that'd be neat.

I'm still in a state of shock and confusion that I've written anything in the past 2 years that people remember and even love. It's weird to be in a place where I never imagined myself to be. I can't stress enough how much I did not write explicit fic before this fandom; in high school, I would've welcomed a porn ban. I was afraid of my own sexuality, convinced it was some sort of monster I had to control. Convinced I was dirty. To other people my age, I was a prude, naive and childish for not being comfortable with it. So I feel for people who lash out now, who insist that attraction is actually fetishization, that if we set enough rules, maybe if we resist temptation, we'll be saved. I see you, and I feel for you. I personally don't think that's a healthy way to live, but if you'd told me that 2 years ago, I would've cussed you out. It's really a realization you have to come to (or not) on your own terms.

Anyway.

I know it's tacky to talk about your own success but it doesn't feel real. I go back and forth, reading other people's work -- and my god, there's some unbelievable talent in this fandom -- and thinking "shit, why would anyone read anything I've written? My stories are kindergarten finger paintings next to museum masterpieces". I am learning, slowly -- very slowly -- that I can't bully myself into a shape I like better. I'll never abuse myself into the kind of writer I think I want to be.

The first chapter of Powder Blue was written on a random day of the week after work. I was in a server -- the first fandom server I'd properly joined and talked in, watching a convo about how funnyt it would be for Ed to be a middle aged sugar baby -- when I pulled out my laptop and wrote for an hour and then posted that chapter to the server. I hadn't written for five years before OFMD. I had never finished a multi chapter fic. I posted that chapter and went to make dinner, and assumed the Google Docs link would get lost in that channel after a few likes.

That's not what happened.

The next few months were...a lot. My 7 year old Twitter account blew up from about 200 followers to 1000 in a matter of months. I was misinterpreted half a dozen times. Suddenly, people knew who I was and had Opinions. Some of those Opinions were Not Nice. I was told to grow a thick skin and get over it. So I figured my extreme reactions -- physical shaking, intense fear, a spiking heart rate, like I was being chased -- were just me being weak. I thought if I just sucked it up and laughed it off, it'd stop affecting me.

Turns out RSD is real and not an excuse I was using to be a baby, and it literally didn't get better until I was medicated! Wild

(This -- "I'm just overreacting and everyone else is secretly handling it better" -- has been a pretty consistent pattern my entire life, so figuring out I'm actually AuDHD has been mindblowing. If you've been wondering why you're so weak your whole life, I've got some screening tests you might be interested in).

Anyway my point is, a few things happened over the course of 2023 that brought me to a level of emotional pain I've never experienced.

At the start of the year, I was taking a self imposed internet break, after being forced to apologize for a tweet thread about Izzy, where I'd made the mistake of suggesting that fans of his should consider thinking about why they enjoy his character, but to only do this if they wanted to and ignore me if they didn't. This was taken as me being a hypocrite, and accusing Izzy fans of being terrible people. I apologized, vowed to never mention him again, and left Twitter for a month. Around the same time, a few things in a very close friend group went very wrong. I assumed it was entirely my fault for misbehaving, picked myself up, and tried to punish myself into a shape that would be acceptable for other people.

It didn't work.

Since I was now marked as an anti-Izzy bully, I couldn't say anything -- either on Twitter or in private -- that wouldn't be interpreted as me trying to start fights, as me being passive aggressive, as me trying to send covert messages for others to decipher so they could come and grovel for my forgiveness. Some of this is my fault -- it took a long time to learn than my private locked Twitter account isn't a diary. it took even longer for me to learn that maybe the people I was hanging out with weren't my people.

During all of this, I was posting Powder Blue after months of tears, pain, heartbreak, frustration and stress. I still don't understand why people write books for work or FUN. It was the most horrific experience of my life. It was valuable and so rewarding but jesus christ did writing PB take a lot out of me.

So as I felt less connected to my friends, as I was trying to hide how I felt because I thought I didn't deserve to be upset about anything (everything is always my fault, you see, and if I just behaved better, these things wouldn't happen to me), someone came to me and said they'd noticed some issues with Powder Blue. I'll refer to this person as the reader.

I was more than happy to hear them out. And it's true that I made some mistakes. The environment that I published PB in was not the one that I wrote it in. I didn't read any other sugar daddy/sex work fics as I was working on PB. PB was never a reaction to those fics. But because of those stories, which had handled things is harmful ways, there was suddenly a responsibility I'd never expected to have. I've never done sex work, I've just spent a lot of time listening to sex workers and trying to understand the legislation and environment as much as I can as a lay person. And since I don't have a personal experience with sex work, I shared my finished but rough draft with the reader, who did.

The problem, ultimately, is not something I could ever have fixed to their satisfaction. The fic doesn't involve dubious consent on a level that I think warrants an archive warning tag -- I tried to make it explicitly clear that Ed never does anything he doesn't want to, and that he's never coerced. The issue is that the nature of Ed and Stede's relationship is inherently uneven -- Stede is rich, and although he gives Ed money that's his to keep, Ed still isn't as obscenely wealthy as Stede is. Ed is poor and has been for a while. He's good at whatever he chooses to do, but he's struggling. That's a very uncomfortable spot to put Ed in. I also put Ed through some things that I've personally been through, as a way to work through my feelings and to try and better understand myself. If I was acting like Ed in real life, the reader is right that it would be concerning. But, importantly, Ed's not real. Nothing in this story is happening to a real person. Nothing in this story is an endorsement of any of his behaviours or unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I still believe the reader had good intentions -- the amount of effort they put into coming to me would be utterly bizarre for someone who was just looking to be cruel for no reason. But that also doesn't change the fact that being told I was having a trauma response and needed to stop working on the fic immediately, pushed me into the most suicidal period I've ever experienced.

That's not their fault. I'm sure that wasn't their intention. I've chosen to not try and find out who they are, or try to contact them again to respect their privacy. Some of the things people said to me, publicly dismissing the reader's pain, were so harrowing to read that it made me feel worse for ever writing PB in the first place. They were right to stay anonymous.

I'm sure the reader never meant for me to have such a massive breakdown that I took down the entire fic and left Twitter (and a few friend groups). It's been difficult to understand that just because someone didn't mean to hurt me, doesn't change the fact that I was hurt.

One silver lining is that I did go and find a new therapist. She's great! And she also thinks that how the reader tried to bring things up to me was wrong. As the reader obviously saw, I have a lot of Trauma, so I'm still not entirely convinced that I didn't deserve what happened to me. I'm not angry at them. I appreciate their concern. I just can't do what they asked of me. In the end, Powder Blue was not a story that was right for them. And that's okay.

My point in detailing all of this, is that I stayed quiet for a long time because I didn't think I deserved to tell my part of the story. I was scared that when people said they respected my choice to take down the fic, that they agreed I'd some something impossibly harmful. People trusted my judgement but I didn't trust myself. But people didn't know that I didn't trust myself.

Additionally, reader can't speak on this without revealing themself in some way. I'm terrified that they might read this and say something anyway. My biggest fear is becoming the kind of writer who sees negative criticism and pushes on anyway, or even blocks people who disagree with me. I don't want to hurt anyone the way I've been hurt.

BUT I've been holding onto this for months. I cannot write a perfect fic that will never trigger anyone. I will never write a meaningful story that won't hurt someone, no matter my intentions. There IS a way to admit you fucked up, or a way to listen and disagree, without turning into a raging asshole. I'm struggling to find that line. I'm hoping I'm making the right choice here.

And honestly, I'm just soft. I am so fucking soft. I talk a big game but I am so soft that a single person poking at my trauma caused me to break down so severely that my partner was legitimately afraid for me. I am learning that this softness doesn't mean I should become a crueler person to cope. But it's hard. There are going to be people who see this post and think I'm being a whiny crybaby looking for attention and pity. And I just have to deal with that.

Anyway. All previous chapters of PB will be up soon. Read them or don't. I will do my best to add more detailed trigger warnings. And I would personally suggest that if you're worried about any of the content in the fic, to run these worries past a friend who's read the fic, because they'll know you better than I ever will. Please don't read Powder Blue if you think it'll harm you. I would rather have fewer readers than triggered ones.

If there's anything I've missed that you think I need to address, know that my inbox is open, that anon is on, and that I'm not in the business of retaliating against people who come to me with an issue, even if they're a dick to me while they're doing it. I'm not going to dismiss someone because they weren't nice to me while they were upset. I'm a bitch but I'm not that kind of bitch.

So. Thank you for waiting for this fic. Thank you for waiting for me. We've got something like 16 chapters to go, and I can't tell you when they'll be up, or if they'll be up soon. But thank you for loving this story. I can't tell you how much that means to me, especially now.

Love,

Scarr

#scarrlet rambles #powder blue #about powder blue #this is also just a really long about me

[sssilverstoned]

while you can still smell them ꩜ ln4

type: full length fic

word count: 3.9k

title from: i wish you roses by kali uchis

warnings: some fluff, angst, but like it's a happy ending. cursing bc i'm me, italics are memories

lily said: you know me i can never leave well enough alone. i thought this little snapshot of the break that was never really a break would be cute! for context, i'd suggest looking at the ig au linked below! this would be taking place in between part 2 and 3.

part 1

part 2

part 3

masterlist

You've only seen Lando cry on occasions that called for it. When family members died, when racing got too much for his mental, in some awful, awful moments. Maybe that's why it hurts so bad to see him cry now.

"A break feels a lot like you should add 'up' to that statement," he had said, turning away from you, looking out at the stars. You were sat on his balcony, feeling suffocated by the apartment. But the AC was on and working fine, and windows were open. Your emotions were suffocating you, that was more fitting.

"We can't keep on like this, Lan," you say in a broken voice, the lump in your throat thick and threatening. "It's not fair to either of us."

He doesn't realize he's crying until the drop hits his nose, making it quirk up in surprise. He swipes at his face, a pawlike move to get rid of the teardrops.

"Do you not love me anymore?"

His question makes you sob. Full body, head dropping to chest, your hands writing in your lap. The sound of you breaking down turns him back to you, rushing to the chair you've melted into. He lifts your face in his hands, and you take a breath when you see his face, discolored with tears.

"I'll always love you," he makes out of your words, just barely. "I, I just, it's not the same,"

"We can fix this, us. We can work on it together," Lando's brain is whirring at hyper speed, damage controlling the last 8 months of your lives together.

The cracks began to become schisms when he committed your largest pet peeve, which was ignoring things out of ease. Blissful ignorance, if you will.

It was small things, like forgetting about date nights in lieu of longer trainings or prolonging trips. Sometimes he forgot to water the plants, or didn't move laundry over, and that was manageable. That's what every couple encounters. What every couple does not encounter, was the intense pressure of racing a car for a living.

He was frustrated, with Zak, with anything papaya colored, and with his own self-doubts. He carried that frustration in his chest, and it came out in some of the words he spoke to you, and actions he took. You eventually stopped offering to come over and cook, because dinners were becoming continuously tense, and you were uncomfortable. Felt like a nuisance.

But at the same time, you were both so codependent. Without anything being said, you two began to avoid things you assumed the other wouldn't like, and asked for permission to do the smallest of things. You first noticed it when your sister pointed had asked you to come go with her out of town for the weekend, and you hesitated. "I'll have to ask Lando," you had told her. She bit her tongue.

Lando was just as bad, he had quite literally lost the ability to sleep when you weren't around. It made Grand Prix weekends an actual nightmare when you weren't there, calling you at any times in the day or night.

"Are you alright, it's 4am,"

"Sorry, can't sleep again. The melatonin does nothing,"

"Did you try the tea my mum got you?"

"Baby I just," he scrubs a hand down his exhausted face. "I just need you here."

"I can't just get up and go to Australia."

"I'll get you a flight, or maybe we can-"

"Lando," you say in a sterner voice. "I can't."

He's quiet for a moment, and you wonder what's going through his head. You hardly raised your voice or got intense, certainly never at him. But then again, recently, you seemed to never know what was going through his head.

It was silly to think that Lando was the same man that you began dating. You were 19, you would pray that he had changed somehow over the span of 5 years. But there was something missing that once was. The relationship was becoming more of a task, and that wasn't right. Which is what brought you to this moment, brought you to telling him you needed to talk.

"Lan," you whimper, bringing a hand up where his hold your face on either side. You don't even have to say anything more, he knows you better than you know yourself. And he begins to cry harder.

"I've never loved anyone but you, baby."

"I know."

"I can't, I really don't want to live without you," he shakes his head, standing back up to his full height. His hands stay busy, though, ripping through his hair.

"I'm not going to go away," you explain, agonized that you're calmer than he at this point. You stand from the wicker chair, but don't edge closer to him. "But my career is unpredictable right now, 6 months in Marbella is a long time. And you're, well, everywhere. And you need to focus on that."

"I've multitasked for 5 years," he says bitterly, making you sigh. His eyes are back on the stars, and his back to you makes your eyes blurry again.

"I'm not happy." You finally blurt, making his body stiffen. "I'm really not."

When he looks at you again, his expression reads clearly with fatigue, with anguish. "Please, baby, don't,"

It's your turn to clutch his face, bringing his forehead to touch with yours. Through your contact, you feel the heaves of his body, the breaths he's trying to control. "It's not forever," you whisper, mustering courage. "But we need to stop acting like everything's fine."

"I don't see myself without you."

"You're not," your hold tightens, he leans further into your palm, "but we've grown up together. The flower pot's too small now," you try to joke, he barely can fake amusement.

"I'll buy a thousand new pots."

"We need to clean up the broken one, first." His jaw clenches, you soothe it with your thumb. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He says back, almost silently. "Still wear that Mclaren shirt on race days, I need the luck."

You finally crack a smile. "I'll wear the hat too if my hairstyle permits."

He kisses you, almost convincing himself this if is the last fix he can get for a while, he needed it now. Not that either of you know it, but you both have the same thought. You both notice that your cheeks have each other's tears on them now, not sure which ones came from whom. You were on the same page in that regard, at least.

꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜

"You should ask y/n out," your best friend says to Lando in the middle of a party. He chokes on his drink, not expecting her to come up to him like she did, and not expecting the words out her mouth.

You all were freshly 19, still congregating in someone's living room to try to have a good time. He knew your friends better than he knew you, the newest of the group in town, only having moved to the area with your family when you were 16.

"Should I, now?" He says, recovering from his fright.

"Yeah," she replies, ignoring the sarcasm. "She goes on about you, it's cute. She'd hurt me if she knew I told you, though. Not sure what she sees in you," his eyes narrow at the girl, which she ignores once again. "You'd be lucky to have a girl like her in your life."

That much, he knew. You were fiercely loyal to your friends and family, and treated him with a kindness that made him melt every time. You were funny, and genuine, and not to mention, the most beautiful person he's sure he knows.

When he bumps into you later at the party, he asks you what you're doing the following evening.

That was the story he'd tell people with a proud grin when they ask how you two got together. All you recount is how he nearly ruined your cute top with a shitty guinness.

He's struck with the memory when he sees the guinness logo in the ads on the walls of a restaurant. "Mate," Max all but snaps his fingers. Lando locks back in, humming for what he missed.

"Was just curious if you wanted to go out tonight. They've been texting in the chat about it, I saw you never responded."

Clubbing wasn't as fun as it used to be, not when you weren't dancing your heart out beside him, or waiting in bed with your nose in a book when he came home because you weren't feeling like going out. It felt like a waste of his time, and like he was sucking the fun out of other people's nights.

"'M alright," he says with a tight mouthed grin. "Gonna sit this one out."

Max looks at his friend, seeing through his response. "When's the last time you went out?"

If he had to take an educated guess, you last graced his apartment that night on the balcony, 4 weeks ago. So, 4 weeks ago. Perhaps longer, judging by the schisms. "A while. Not up to it."

"You're torturing yourself."

"I'm not interested in getting shitfaced, Max."

Max looks away for a second, quickly weighing the pros and cons of asking what he's been wanting to for the last, well, 4 weeks. "Do you think Y/n is wallowing too?"

The sound of your name makes his fingers twitch inadvertently, almost like a flinch. "That's not fair."

"I'm serious, Lando. You said she needed a break because she felt like you two were co-dependent and not actually working through problems, and look at you. You're not functioning without her. I mean, it's your fucking birthday next week, and you haven't brought it up once, you realize that, right?"

He knows he's right. Nothing he said was out of line, or wrong, and that's why Lando has nothing to say back. He wants to argue, to prove him wrong, but he can't. He's seen your ads and campaigns, the beautiful shots of you promoting luxury brands and names that your fans only dreamed of owning. Despite the distance, he was so proud of you still. You worked hard, were disciplined and humble through your success. He had texted you when the Dior campaign had launched, and the message of your thanks, with a smiley face, made him, for just a second, think that things were back to normal.

When they left the restaurant, and ran directly into fans, Lando tried to put on his best face for them, smiling for selfies and signing what was gestured toward him. When a sweet looking girl with glasses shyly spoke up, telling her favorite driver where she was visiting from, his tired eyes light up. "You're from there?" He confirms, and she smiles with an eager nod.

"Y/n is too," he almost mumbles, but every fan in earshot heard it. The typical squeals followed, the hushed whispers amonst themselves on if they'd push the questions they were itching to ask or not. And heard it they did, as the encounter made its way onto social media and gossip pages. But Max was right, his mourning period needed to be over, if anything was going to change for the better.

You call him on his birthday. It was nerve wracking, which made you bitterly laugh, because never did you think you'd be nervous to talk to Lando Norris of all people. One of the few people in the world you wholeheartedly trusted.

It had only been about a month since you requested time apart, and he had honored that. The texts were sparse, the calls nonexistent. Although, that was sort of what had brought you to this point anyway. But you were working on yourself, and your career at the same time, and things were looking better. Change never happened overnight, but the journal your therapist recommended, and the disappearance from social media besides professional posts were great starts.

You bite at your cuticle as the phone rings. You take your cell away from your ear, chest panging at the contact name "Lan <3" at the top of the screen. Was he really going to screen your call? Is that what you deserved, possibly?

"Y/n," he finally answers, and you quickly bring your phone back to your ear.

"Hi," you say awkwardly. "Happy birthday, Lando."

"Thank you," he says stiffly. "I'm happy to hear from you."

"Yeah I um, haven't really been on my phone here," you bite harder on your finger. "I think it's nice here, you'd love Marbella."

"I'm sure I would," he says with what you can hear is a smile. "I miss you, you know?"

"I miss you too," you concede, "how have you been?"

"Not great, I won't lie. Much rather would hear about you."

"'s not my birthday," and he smiles a bit at that.

"Well, racing's fine. But Max is sick of my shit, says I've been wallowing."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Yeah."

You don't really know what to say, you've rarely been the perpetrator of his negative feelings. No relationship was perfect, but you all hadn't really hit a communication wall until now. It was uncharted, scary territory. "Well, I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, that was all. Have a good day, really. 24 is a big one. Kobe year, that's what someone said to me. I hope this year is great for you."

"Y/n, wait," he halts your beginnings to hang up. "I'd like to come to see you soon, I've got some time before Abu Dhabi and maybe I could swing by Spain on the way."

"Lando," he absolutely hates that you're calling him by his whole name. Lan, that's what would you called him almost exclusively. Lando feels so formal from you.

He needs to hear it, you know he does. He needs to hear that you want to see him, that you need to see him just as much as he yearns to put eyes on you once more. But you were constantly afraid of accidental manipulation, holding him by some invisbile garotte. But this was his first birthday you hadn't celebrated together since you were 19, that meant something.

"Please focus on racing," you implore, and squeeze your eyes shut before adding, "but you if you'd like to come and it won't be an issue in your plans, you're more than welcome."

꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜

You saw the posts, it wasn't very hard. Fans utterly disappointed that you and Lando hadn't been seen together in ages, putting pieces together quickly after you didn't post for his birthday. It didn't make you feel worse, to be truthful, and to your surprise. You were sure there'd be a barrage of insults hurled your way, maybe a cheating rumor or two. But really, all there was to see were requiems for your relationship, nostalgia for what once was. What did cause you to delete instagram from your phone, was the response to the podcast.

You were single for the time being, that's what you and Lando had agreed on when he visited you. It wasn't an invitation to go out and find the next man to lay in your bed, but you both had agreed that it wasn't healthy to hold out in anticipation of your rekindling.

"You're the only girl I've, you know," he awkwardly trailed off, scratching the back of his neck. He sits up in bed, linens pooling around his hips. Hooking up with your now ex-boyfriend, might've not been your brightest idea, sure, but you were both human, at the end of the day.

"Fucked?" you tease, remaining comfortable against your plush pillow. "I know. First few times kinda showed that."

He looks back at you pointedly. "You cried the first time."

"It hurt!"

He rolls his eyes, shaking his head in fake annoyance. You grin. "I'm sure the girlies are gonna have a field day with you being single now,"

He rolls his eyes again, laying, or rathing slumping, back into the pillow next to you. His arm instinctively comes around the top of your head, you try not to lean into it. "I think I really will finally listen to you and focus on racing."

You turn on your side, admiring his profile as he stares up at the ceiling, probably tangled in his thoughts. His nose sloped perfectly, the little freckles dotting his skin like constellations. Your boy.

"I told my mum."

He snorts. "She hates me now, I'm sure."

"Mm, no, her first ask was what I did," your mom was Lando's biggest fan, through and through. Of course, you were her daughter, but she was convinced he was cosmically made perfectly for you.

He looks at you then, realizing your eyes have been on him the whole time. He copies your position, turning to you so your bodies lay parallel, nowhere to look but each other's eyes.

"Do you regret that I'm the only boyfriend you've ever had?"

You immediately shake your head in denial of the question. "No, not at all," you were lucky, if anything. "You?"

"Well, I've had other girlfriends,"

"Ouch?"

"You knew that," he chuckles, and yeah, you did. "But I don't regret that you're the only one I've been serious about. I still am."

"I know. I am too."

"An ex-boyfriend doesn't lay in bed with you, you know."

"And an ex-girlfriend doesn't still remind your team when your doctor's appointments are,"

"Fair enough, guess we're just weird."

You share a matching grin. "So weird."

So once Alex uploaded the Call Her Daddy episode you were a guest on, and it was official to the masses that you had been single for now almost 4 months, the articles came in. The timelines of you and Lando's relationship, the rumors of him leaving clubs with random girls. You'd be lying if you said you didn't zoom in on some of their faces, relaxing when you recongized most of them as friends or even family members. He wasn't yours to be worried about, you suppose, but you also knew that any girl he decided to share his time with would be a lucky one.

Your friends had tried to get you on dates, that wasn't a lie when you said that on the podcast. But you weren't ever excited to get to know someone new, small talk was painful and you didn't feel comfortable going home with them.

But then, a few weeks later into February, you get a phone call from Lando. "Hi," You answer, pleasently surprised.

"Hey there," he says, sounding slightly out of breath. "How are you?"

"I'm good, great even. Finished up everything down here, leaving Marbella next week to head back home." Home was London to you, not Monaco. You constantly visited, had a family flat there and everything, but couldn't leave officially becuause of your career.

"Congratulations, everything looked stunning," he compliments, and your stomach flutters.

"But um, how are you? I'd ask if you were relaxing, but I'm sure training's well underway."

"Meh, more or less. I'm heading to Surrey next week, actually. Got some stuff to do at HQ."

"Oh," Surrey was only about an hour and a half from where you were in London. "Would you, well, not assuming anything, but if you'd have time to spare, it would be great to catch up?"

This isn't why Lando called you, you fully know this. Who knows what he picked up the phone for, he could be calling to let you know he's eloped with someone he's met in the 6 months you've been apart.

"I'd love to," you hear his grin in his voice. "You haven't moved, have you?"

Not only had you not moved, but you haven't changed much about your flat either. Same bedding, same color schemes, same photos decorating your tables and walls of your friends, family, and Lando. He never took the photos of you down either, and that photo from your 21st birthday was still stuffed in his wallet.

You order takeout, sitting across the kitchen island from each other acting like it didn't feel like your first date again. He acts like he doesn't want to reach out for your hands as you animatedly use them to share stories of Spain, and you act like you don't want to push the curls back that threathen to land over his eyebrows.

The food gets cold as you two catch up, a few glasses of wine becoming a whole bottle gone. You actually can't remember the last time the two of you had done this, and perhaps, absence had truly made your hearts grow fonder.

"Bahrain is on leap day," Lando says, making you gasp.

"That's got to be good luck, no?"

"It's just the first practice,"

"But still, you're starting your first weekend of the year on a special day like that," you muse, "so exciting. I'm excited for you,"

His chest warms at endearment in your voice. You truly and honestly rooted for him through everything, that was one of the things he was most grateful for about you. He knows you don't truly care about all of this, if he won or lost, but that you care about him and his development, how he sees himself and his profession. He fell in love with that about you.

"Would you come?"

You hesitate, daring to look at him from where you had begun to clean the countertop. "To the race? "

He nods, and turn back to the counter. "I don't know, Lan. Is that where we are?"

He hopes so. He's missed you something horrible, prays you missed him just as bad.

Lando takes the cloth from your hand, replacing it with his own. "I know it's only been about 6 months, and that's not enough time to say everything's well and dandy," you fight a smile. "But I want to work through things, with you. I've had nothing but time to consider what was off with us, and I want to be better. For you, more than anything. Yeah, I learned how to be just Lando. But I know I prefer being Lando and Y/n."

You bite your lip, finally meeting his eyes. "I want to take it slow."

"We can do that,"

"So, I don't know if I'm ready for the race. But, my birthday's coming up,"

"It is,"

"And we'll be in Dubai. My sister did it up, got this crazy plan going since it'll be my 25th."

"Quite the old woman you're becoming,"

"Oh get off that," you scoff, pushing his chest. He chuckles and pulls you back into him, where you go willingly. "But, if you can, I'd love for you to come to the dinner."

He raises an eyebrow with a smirk. "You want me to fly to Dubai just for your birthday dinner?"

"You'll be in Saudi Arabia then anyway,"

The smirk gets bigger. "You know my schedule already, love?"

"You're so fucking cheeky, can't stand it," you feign annoyance, but never move from his arms.

He holds you, as your arms delicately find themselves behind his neck, not daring to kiss just yet. To really be honest, you're not sure if you're ready to take that whole plunge.

"I'm happy to be back, even if things are slow. They can be molasses for all I care."

"Thank you for being patient with me," you lean your forehead against his. However, this time, neither of you are crying. Nice, for a change.

"I'd wait decades for you, my love."

After a beat of sweet silence. You speak up once more. "One thing though," he hums to prompt your continuance. "I'm pretty sure, when it's said, it's Y/n and Lando, just so you know."

#is this me projecting? yeah #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader

[olderthannetfic]

Nearly 75% of fic on AO3 has less than 5 reader comments. Can we please acknowledge that lack of engagement in a positive fashion is the norm in fandom and that writers are expected to work for nothing in return yet readers are allowed to be entitled?

The source of my number

https://www.tumblr.com/transholmes/738776926733336576/and-even-those-numbers-on-the-lower-end-are

--

Hahahahaha.

Oh, anon.

Okay, first of all, I just posted a bunch of graphs showing exactly this, so not only am I well aware of it, but you also clearly don't read my tumblr much and are just here because some friend of yours is upset that I responded negatively to them about their dumb bookmarking opinions.

Second and more importantly...

No, no one is expected to do anything.

That's crazypants influencer talk where you think your hobbies are jobs that you have no choice about doing.

I suppose I do expect fans to have something at least marginally worthwhile to say—or else I'll block them for being whiny little bitches who make my day dumber as well as less amusing.

But mostly, what I expect is that people will do hobbies because they are fun. If I ever decide that writing fic is too boring, I will stop.

I write because it's fun.

I write original work for money too, and if you want to read that, you're going to have to pay Amazon your cold, hard cash. But I still do it because I enjoy the actual act of writing... at least a lot of the time.

What I see in the bookmark boo-hooing is a bunch of people who haven't noticed the last eighty thousand rounds of this same dumb wank and who not only expect to get the last word but expect that somehow I'm going to signal boost it on my tumblr as that... a tumblr known for contentious debates and nobody ever getting the last word till everyone's exhausted and never wants to hear about paper plates or beans again.

I also see that some of the thinnest-skinned people have fic patreons.

Now, I chose not to bring this up before because it sounds a bit below the belt in that "And thus you're morally impure and thus I can ignore your argument" way... But it's a consistent pattern in these conversations over time, and I do think it's relevant. The biggest sensitive babies are always the ones most afraid of bad reviews but also low engagement, and I think it's because they're caught in some half-pro, half-not limbo where they want the best of both worlds but keep getting the worst of both.

If you behave like a professional who is owed compensation, you can expect a more professional style of response to your work.

And what does the pro world look like? Radio silence. The occasional harsh review. Nobody caring why you wanted to write X or why you couldn't finish Y on time.

If you're here to socialize, you should look for a beta or a couple of good friends who like your blorbos and your style of fic, and then you can squee together about what you've written. It may not come in the form of visible AO3 comments. It may be in private chat.

In some cases, it may just be friends you can talk to about your writing but who aren't actually going to read it. I have plenty of friends who read different things than what I write.

That's what socializing and hobbies look like, dude.

It's fine to point out that many writers do get discouraged by low comment counts and then stop, so if I, as a reader in a fandom, want more, it behooves me to befriend writers and make them feel good.

But at the same time, writers get discouraged or move on to the next fandom all the time for all kinds of reasons. If the critical mass and the zeitgeist aren't there, then they aren't.

Do your hobbies for reasons internal to you.

If the main point is external validation, get into BDSM and find someone excited to indulge your praise kink. It will work a lot better than chasing fame via art.

[50cal-fullauto-astarion]

Blah blah blah, massive jerking off motion, sugar daddy Colonel König with a f!reader!30 year old, established sugar baby doing it for a laff fic bullet point idea I've been bullshitting around with under the cut:

Again, bc y'all know me, this is just my fuckin oc dressed up as a reader but yknow what whatever. It’s my maladaptive daydream and I’m generalizing enough to share it.

You’re a doctor of organic chemistry, working in pharmaceutical forensics at a lab that largely deals with multinational jurisdiction drug offenses for various state agencies. The work pays pretty well, as it’s government scale, but it is dull and repetitive.

To get your kicks, you sugar baby casually on a semi-regular to regular basis. It suits you. You’ve never established a meaningful long term relationship, flings come easily to you, and older would-be romancers have always taken interest in you in ways that people from your own age bracket haven’t.

Sex or no, it all depends on who is approaching you, the decision ultimately yours.

And they don’t have to provide monetarily, no. You’re well established, more than that even. Once they understand that aspect of you, they shift their approach, and that’s when the fun starts.

Gifts, trips, concerts, dinners—whatever you want, all of it a discreet text away.

None of your entanglements last terribly long. You’re off-putting, in your way, your mannerisms, your directness. Most of your paramours find that it doesn’t click for them. If you’re having sex, it doesn’t matter how mind blowing it is—usually for your partner, though you’ve had the occasional winner—one way or another it ends. And you have been the one to end it, especially when you feel it growing strained and pointed toward what services you provide your temp partners. You’re no stranger to the sudden and surgical cut.

One such situation leads a Colonel to a spot at your feet.

One of the dudes who wandered into your carousel was Declan O’Conor, of KorTac. He’d been intrigued by your intensity at first, and the sex was some of the best he’d ever had, though you thought he lacked skills in foreplay. He was generally brusque however, and tended to ignore the trade of attention and gifts in favor of his desires, which left you cold and unimpressed.

gonna be real, i left off here like two days ago, and i'm 2 hours into my last work day before my weekend, so i'm not bothering with extra detail, we're wheelin' and dealin' now, lads.

a certain colonel gets a hold of your email through declan, a nanosecond before you dump declan's ass. the timing? immaculate. the colonel could not have done better. isn't he fucking lucky.

he's heard declan bragging about his new bird. she's smart, she's discreet, she fucks like a succubus. she doesn't even want money, or a relationship. shit, she doesn't even care if you're married or have kids, she wants no part of your real life. she just wants fun and stimulation.

well. ain't that just what the colonel is looking for, he lies to himself. könig is almost half convinced you're an escort dressed up as a woman looking for a good time, but what the fuck does he know. and from what he's gathered, the way people approach you is myriad, but you're picky as for how long things go on.

he's drowned at work, has no desire to go bar crawling or trying to pick up a dumbass hobby to try and meet someone, and he, if he's honest with himself, does not have the time to dedicate to an actual relationship, is mildly horrified at the idea of using an app to date, and is approaching his mid 40s. his work is too demanding, he travels too much, he's too burnt out. fun sounds fun.

he shoots off the email.

what he gets in return: "interesting that o'conor seems to be recommending me around, as that's not part of the agreement. but i'll meet you. tell me when you're next in berlin, and we'll set a date. should it cross your mind, bring me something interesting."

smth smth, time moves on, you end up meeting up with him for dinner. he insisted. he knew a place. you hoped like hell it wasn't some overblown officer's club. that shit was always dead boring and full of the most disgusting braggadocio you've heard in your life. testosterone beating off against testosterone, trying to find out which one nuts first.

but, nah. he hauls you to a korean bbq joint that's a real down and dirty hole in the wall, and immediately you're impressed. the food is amazing. it's quiet. he is ENORMOUS, but has an air of cinders about him.

you can tell he used to run off rage, almost solely. it must've burned down over the years, or his fuel had taken a hit that it could never recover from. he's tired. he's looking for ease.

he wears a gaiter covering the bottom half of his face and neck, and you find it curious as the dinner starts, your booth in the far back, away from prying eyes.

thought it was for your comfort. he'd already spoken of your discretion, that he was well aware, and interested in the same. his position in his org is high up, he works with sensitive info, his clearance is big time spooky. things you're familiar with from your own work.

he calls his work security, and you call your own science. it is enough.

he warns you about his facial scarring before the meal begins, giving you the choice to avoid seeing him eat, and you turn down that offer. "i can assure you that i've seen worse," you say, confident, unshaken at what he might be hiding. your history is a darkness, it runs deep, and ruin is not unfamiliar to you.

he seems pleased, or at least mollified, and pulls down the gaiter. the lower half of his face is a wreckage, almost at odds with the wheat colored curls - all shot through with silvery-gray - tied into a tail at the base of his skull, and the blue of his bag-bruised eyes. a botched cleft lip surgery, exposing big, fuck-around-find-out teeth in a scar that leaves him always snarling. rippling burn scars crawling up from his ravaged neck, pulling at the corner of his eye.

at least he will eat, if nothing else.

it is one of the rare times he will allow you to see this.

at the end of the meal, after some good conversation, dancing light around heavy realities, secrets that can't be told, you sit back and watch him with curiosity-heavy eyes, a contentedly full stomach, the foot of your crossed leg hovering in the air between you under the table.

he's pulled his gaiter back up, peeling euro bills off a fat clip he pulls from his pocket, dropping them on the table, overpaying the meal. perhaps the privacy. perhaps the server. perhaps the flash of it.

"i didn't forget," he laughs, voice still higher than you'd expected, but rasping and rough as gravel churning mud and blood.

"apologies. i'm impatient. it is my nature."

"hah. have that in common, then, hm?" he laughs, going for another pocket.

usually, you expect jewelry on the first date. it hasn't been uncommon with the people you run with. perhaps even technology. you were afforded an iphone 14 pro max a month before they'd even come out, but you'd held onto it and resold it later.

and this fascinating könig pulls out a box, as well. you almost feel your stomach sink. you'd been hoping...well. it doesn't matter what you'd hope. and maybe it was foolish to harbor a small, chittering desire that he'd be different, after the turns your conversations took.

he plunks it down on the table in front of you, rapping two long, powerful fingers on the plain lid. it's not even that impressive of packaging. oh, your stomach churns with impending disappointment. sometimes these men end up cheap. you steel yourself, falling into your resolve.

a fossilized horse tooth is what is presented to you when you open the package, as well as a business card for a fossil and crystal dealer. you catch sight of a beaded bracelet on his wrist, carnelians.

"didn't know what sort of science you're in, but figured i couldn't go wrong with a fossil. or a horse. you have horse girl energy."

he's smirking. you tip your head back and cackle, mind flooded with your years on your school's equitation team and the summers you spent trekking across continents with your grandmother by horseback.

the energy shifts perfectly, and you pull your head down, beaming at him. running the toe of your heels up his calf under the table, you roll the fossil-black tooth between your fingers, following the grooves, feeling the age. this horse would've been about nine when it died. not bad for a wild thing. most of them didn't find the miracles of old age.

"what gave it away? the posture?"

"oh ja. jawohl. it's the posture. even leaned back, sit like you're setting your ass in a saddle."

"mhm. sounds like you've done some riding yourself."

"when i was younger, yes. half-sway-backed plow nag, though. nothing so fancy as what people might picture, with the accent."

"not everyone can afford warmbloods, it is true."

you fold the tooth into your closed hand, silence falling comfortable between you. and here it is.

"i think we should find a place for the night, don't you?" you ask, and you can see his mouth pull into a smirk under the mask.

"hah. good thing i thought ahead then. i booked a room--some place nice. you'll like it." his confidence would be off-putting. it should be off-putting. but it isn't. it's almost a relief. it's definitely a turn on. he's not feeling out your approval, at least not visibly.

you were both looking for fun. and perhaps you've found it. at the very least, he is not treating this as a fight to be won. maybe he would not've been crushed or vitriolic if the night ended with nothing further, ever again. you don't know. you let him help you into your coat, and into a cab, and you find your flesh-ripping want yelling louder and louder with his arm draped casually across the back of the seat behind you.

and good christ, does can he fuck.

okidoke, i'm cutting this one here, sry. i will probably continue it more formally (? idk) later once i've worked on some other stuff, but i wanted to get this one out, yeehaw. hope u enjoyed!

#konig #könig #call of duty #cod mw2 #mw2 #konig mw2 #konig call of duty #konig x reader #my work #my hcs #??? don't know boss this has just been rattling in my head forever

[toomuchracket]

birthday surprise (dad!matty x reader fluff)

another matty35 fic!! a sweet little moment about you and your girls surprising their dad on his birthday, on the other side of the world from home. enjoy! <3

“here we are, 345. dyl, you take the keycard for your mum, yeah?” adam hands the card for the room to your eldest, then peels your middle child from his leg, ruffling her curls. “and remember, you need to be extra loud to wake your dad up. feel free to film it, also.”

you snort, readjusting the baby in your arms. “you think i'll be able to wrangle these three and matty and get the camera out at the same time?”

“good point. still, i expect to hear all about it later!”

“of course. thanks again for helping with this, mate,” you give your friend a hug. “right, you lot, hugs to uncle adam before we go inside.”

adam crouches so dylan and elena can cuddle him, then stands to boop phoebe's tiny nose. “see you all at dinner. have fun!”

“we will!” dylan calls after him. grabbing the handle of her suitcase, she turns to look at you expectantly. “can we go in now, mummy?”

the eagerness is practically radiating off her and elena - actually, even phoebe, barely a year old, seems keen to get inside to see her dad. then again, her two big sisters did spend the entire flight from london to LA explaining that matty was away for work and it was about to be his birthday and the reason you were all on the plane was so you could go and surprise him at work “and also to go to the beach”. while she might be too little to fully understand what they're saying - especially given that both of your elder daughters inherited the matty trait of rambling at the speed of light - their enthusiasm was definitely contagious; despite your lethargy from trying to get three under-eights through an airport and onto a plane in peace, your own excitement about seeing matty for the first time in two months was heightened listening to them yap.

you nod, smiling at your girls. “open the door, dyl, sweetheart. remember to be really quiet when we're going in, yeah? we don't want to wake daddy up before we're ready, do we?”

“no,” elena shakes her head, wild curls flying everywhere. she's the one most like her dad, in personality and looks, with a big toothy smile and a frequent disdain for rules or convention. “and we need to put all our things away first, too.”

well, sometimes she's very like you. “exactly, lena. help your sister with the door, would you?”

little faces set in determination, dylan and elena push the heavy door open as quietly as possible; you shift phoebe into one arm and hold it with the other while they grab their suitcases, then swap the baby to your other arm while you grab your own. once you're in the little entryway, dylan sensibly grabs the handle so she can close the door with minimal noise, turning to you with a grin. “we did it.”

“we did. well done, munchkins,” you high-five dylan and elena, and kiss phoebe's fluffy little head before looking around the hotel room - although, suite would be a more accurate word to describe it. you knew management were booking some sort of family room for matty in preparation for the birthday surprise, but you didn't quite expect something so elaborate. “wow, this is nice.”

“it's so big!” elena pokes her head round the nearest door to you, left ajar, and returns absolutely beaming. “that's daddy's room.”

dylan gasps and tiptoes to stick her own head in, and you follow, excitement buzzing through your body. at the sight of matty, fast asleep with his curls askew and the covers bunched around his waist, you sigh happily; even after all these years together, you're not used to being away from him, and the sight of him within touching distance after almost nine weeks of nothing but facetimes and texts and phone calls honestly brings a lump to your throat.

you can't keep looking at him forever, though, as easy as it would be for you to do - you and your daughters are on a mission, after all. “right. lena, could you open the door on the left, please? the one across from dad's?”

she obliges. “bathroom - oh!” she gasps. “the shower has a bench in it!”

“really?” you peer in, jaw dropping in complete bewilderment - the room's bigger than the master bedroom in the old flat. “shi- shocked. i'm shocked. anyway,” you nudge her out of the doorway. “moving on. next room?”

dylan's already on it. “another bedroom, mum. two beds.”

“that's you two's, then. come on, we'll put our stuff in here for now.”

it's a lovely room, sun-dappled and spacious. you giggle as elena cannonballs onto one of the beds, while dylan immediately goes to the window to look out onto los angeles; phoebe coos happily as you lay her on the other bed, kicking her tiny legs in the air with reckless abandon. she giggles when you lean down to blow a raspberry on her tummy, your favourite sound in the world, and cuddles into you when you take her into your arms again. “alright, my girls, i think it's time,” you start, and the two older girls come skidding over. “who's got dad's birthday card?”

“me,” elena runs to her carry-on, pulling out the card the three of them made for matty and carrying it over as if it was made of glass.

“and the present?”

“here,” dylan holds up a gift bag.

you nod. “good. you ready?”

they both nod enthusiastically, little bobbleheads with cheesy grins. you grin in return, turning to phoebe. “are you ready, baba?”

adorably, she grins back just as cheesily as her sisters; you take that as a “yes”, although you carefully sniff her to make sure she doesn't need changed. with an approving nod, you stand up, smiling. “alright. let's go and see daddy. quietly.”

you've barely got the words out before dylan and elena are tiptoeing as quickly as they can out of the room, graceless impersonations of the demi-pointe running they do at ballet class. turning to phoebe, you sigh. “nice of them to wait for us, isn't it, pheebs?”

she giggles again, a flash of matty genes amidst a face that looks mostly like yours. even though you've been married to him for years and loved him even longer, the fact you have three kids with matty is a little bit mind-boggling to you. in all those years you spent pining for him, the thought of a family was far-fetched even in your wildest dreams - thinking about your girls, half you and half him, flesh and blood with hearts of gold and incredible brains and the biggest smiles you've ever seen… it's honestly a little overwhelming, in the best possible way; a perfect epilogue to a love story that took a few more pages to kick in than it should've.

“mama,” phoebe coos, distracting you, beaming when you coo praise in response. yeah, she only knows two words, but she learned them scarily fast compared to her sisters - again, you reckon it's down to their and matty's respective constant yapping. “dada?”

“yes, sweet girl, we'll go and see him now,” you hoist her further into your grasp, kissing her chubby cheek before following your other sweet girls. they’re waiting outside matty’s door, looking between it and you like they’re watching wimbledon, practically vibrating with excitement. the sight makes you smile. “ok, girls, game plan time. i say we all sit on the empty side of the bed, and when i give the signal, we shout ‘surprise!’. classic, simple, effective. yeah?”

“good idea, mum,” dylan nods. “now?”

you grin. “yeah.”

she bolts into the room, ducking round the half-open door without touching it, elena at her heels. you can’t really stop yourself from running, either, although the door hinders you slightly more given that you’re holding phoebe. and, you know, you’re not five or seven. by the time you and the baby get in, the girls have already carefully climbed onto the bed, staring lovingly down at matty not unlike the way they stared at phoebe when she first came home from the hospital.

the thought makes you giggle, which in turn makes elena turn round to scowl at you. “mummy! shhhh!”

“sorry. here, dyl, take… thanks,” you pass phoebe to her biggest sister while you climb onto the bed, too; dylan carefully sits the baby down beside her, the resemblance between them especially evident in the way they’re smiling. you can’t blame them - you might be biased, but you do think your husband is a very cute sleeper, pretty lips slightly parted and eyelashes brushing his cheek.

a cute sleeper, beginning to wake up already. dylan and elena are coiled springs, ready to shout-shock their dad into full consciousness - their faces aren’t visible where you sit, but you know that they’re grinning. you are, too. so is phoebe, most likely.

two months apart. far too long.

matty’s arms stretch the exact same way dylan’s do when she first wakes up (and you do your best to keep your thoughts about them to a PG rating). you’ve been privy to his wakeup routine countless times since you were eighteen, and, still, your heart flutters at the way he yawns and rolls onto his side, lips set into a sleepy faint smile, blinking his eyes open. but, before you can even open your mouth to signal “now!”, those eyes widen fully; accompanied by a “christ!”, matty jumps (well, jerks) backward in surprise, and, in the process, completely falls out of the bed.

all four of the rest of you crawl to the edge of the bed, reactions varying to the echoing thud of your husband’s arse hitting the hardwood floor. dylan and elena are beside themselves with laughter, clutching each other in complete hysterics, while you lean over in shock, tentatively asking “baby, you alright?”. but it’s phoebe’s reaction that matty actually responds to, pulling himself back up when he hears her concerned wail of “dada!” and sees her lip trembling, a sign of imminent tears - he climbs onto the mattress and shuffles towards the centre, scooping her up into a cuddle and pressing gentle kisses to her little head. “oh, my sweet baby. daddy’s alright, munchkin, really, but i appreciate the concern,” he scowls at the older two. “at least one of my daughters cares about me.”

“sorry, dad,” dylan moves to snuggle into him, elena copying the action on the other side. “we do care. but that was a little bit funny.”

he smiles, leaning down as best he can to kiss their curls in turn. “yeah, i s’pose it was. and i’ve missed making you all laugh, even if that time was unintentional. missed you, all of you, my girls!”

elena looks up at her dad adoringly. “missed you too. a lot. so has dyl, and pheebs. and mummy.”

“yeah,” matty looks at you properly for the first time; his eyes look like home, warm and loving and familiar, and it still does funny things to your stomach. “hi, darling. you kept this quiet, didn’t you?”

“wanted to surprise you, baby,” you move to kiss him, as passionately as you can with three kids around; despite the restraint from both of you, you’re lightheaded when you break apart. “happy birthday.”

“thanks, my darlings,” matty blushes, amid a chorus of felicitations from your daughters. he sniffles and hugs the baby tighter, tears welling in those pretty eyes. “this is really special, having you all out here with me today. god, you’ve no idea how much i’ve missed you.”

“yeah, we do,” you laugh softly, leaning around phoebe to gently wipe the tears from his eyes with your thumbs; he kisses your palm as a thank-you. “we took a twelve-hour flight across the atlantic because we didn’t want to be away from you any longer! thank god management agreed to it, by the way. reckon i’d have gone insane if i had to wait for tour to end before i got to be with you again. and yes,” you notice matty opening his mouth to speak. “we’re here until hometime.”

“oh, thank god,” matty’s eyes close in bliss. “i miss home.”

“funny you should say that, actually,” you wave to get dylan’s attention, nodding towards the gift bag. “take a look at your birthday present.”

“and card,” elena chips in.

“and card, of course,” you settle the baby against your own chest, smiling as matty tugs the girls into a cuddle after he reads the card from them; it turns to a full-on giggle when he opens the gift bag. “so, verdict?”

matty cheers, pulling out the box of pg tips teabags and packet of chocolate digestives. “you always know just what i need,” he wraps an arm around you, kissing your head.

“yeah, which is why there’s also a new turntable waiting for you at home, too. we were gonna buy a record to go with it, but,” you look up at your husband quizzically. “we thought it might be nice to go shopping for one here, together?”

he kisses you sweetly. “i love that idea. to be honest, i’d be happy doing anything with my girls. shall we go record shopping today?”

“matty, babe, it’s your birthday. you decide!”

“alright. record shopping it is,” he grins, increasing the volume of his voice as he continues. “but first… i’m thinking we should order room service.”

elena’s face lights up. “can we get pancakes? please? with nutella? and strawberries?”

matty gestures towards the entryway. “menu’s out there, munchkins. go and have a look, see what you want,” he smiles after elena and dylan as they tear out of the room. “can’t believe you managed to get those adorable riots on a transatlantic flight by yourself. and you, baba!” he coos to phoebe, who babbles excitedly in response. her dad laughs, kissing her head before kissing you. “seriously, i’m in awe of you. have been for decades at this point already, but… i’m so impressed that you pulled this off. and so grateful. and so in love with you, forever and always.”

“i love you so, so much. always will,” you kiss matty’s lips, then nose, then all over his face, until he’s giggling a lot like the baby wriggling happily on your chest. “happy birthday again, baby.”

#mads muses #mads does writing #matty35 #dad!matty #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fic #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fluff #matty healy x reader #matty x reader #dylan #elena #phoebe

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

Note: requested by an anon! thank you so much for your patience, I hope it's worth the wait. also shout out to @neonhairspray for letting me use her name in this fic ;)

extra note: the taglist seems to not work properly lately, I am aware of this, as it is happening to me as well. I am also not getting many notifications, not just tags, but also for reblogs and comments. I am very sorry if it seems like I am ignoring you, trust me, I am not!

Warnings: 18+! angst, brief smut, little bit of fluff. mention of pregnancy.

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

summary: A regular hook up with Sihtric didn't go as usual.

wordcount: 3,5k

Masterlist

'Tell me what the fuck I did to you to deserve this!'

'Thanks, sweetheart,' Sihtric smiled and kissed your forehead, 'that was really nice, as always,' he chuckled, 'I'll call you, okay?'

'Yeah,' you smiled, still shaking on your legs as you walked him to your front door, 'thank you too,' you said, 'see you around.'

'See you,' Sihtric winked and got in his car.

You closed the door and went back upstairs to shower, after which you'd get some sleep, as it was late at night already. 

And that's just how it always went. Sihtric texted you, or you texted him, you'd meet up at either his place or yours, you'd fuck each other senseless for however long needed, and then you'd both go your own way again. Most people would call what you had with Sihtric "friends with benefits", but it wasn't that. You had only met him because of a mutual friend, during a night out, after which you had landed in his bed.

And after that night you simply kept hooking up, but there was no friendship. In fact, you actually knew nothing about Sihtric, except for where he lives, and that he's hot, as well as a beast in bed. You knew his kinks and the way he likes his dirty talk, but you had no idea what kind of job he had, if he even had one, you didn't know what his personality really was like or if he was sleeping with other people, besides you. You didn't know and you also didn't care. Sihtric, with his short, dark hair with the shaved sides and his insanely muscular body, was just a good fuck. And that's all you both seemed to care about.

You only contacted each other to hook up, and it was only a few days later that Sihtric called you again.

'Fuck,' Sihtric moaned, 'yeah, just like that baby girl,' he breathed and threw his head back in your pillow, 'oh, don't stop you dirty girl,' he laughed as he looked up into your eyes.

You grinned while looking down at him, riding him exactly the way you knew would make him lose his mind. His big, warm hands held your hips, while you rested your hands on his broad chest to support yourself. If you'd been looking for a serious relationship, you'd almost believe Sihtric was made for you, and he thought the same, but he would never say it.

Because there was no relationship, and neither of you ever showed a sign that there would ever be anything of a relationship between the two of you.

'Yeah, you like that, don't you?' you teased, feeling his hands take on a bruising grip on your hips.

'Yeah,' Sihtric smiled as he bit down on his lip, then bucked his hips into you while you were on top, 'yeah, I really fucking like that,' he moaned.

'Fuck me like a good boy,' you breathed, to which Sihtric growled desperately and took you harder, and faster.

Then, with a deep and heavy moan Sihtric spilled inside you, as he fucked you through your own orgasm. And it was only moments later, when he pulled out, that you both found out the condom had been ripped at some point.

'Oh,' you said, with big eyes, 'it… it should be fine.'

'You're on birth control too, right?' Sihtric asked after a few minutes, slightly worried while he put on his shoes.

'Yeah,' you sort of lied.

Well, you didn't really lie, you were on birth control, but you had been a little sloppy with taking the pill lately, knowing you didn't have unprotected sex with him anyway.

'Okay,' Sihtric said and sighed with relief, 'good. I like kids, but I'm absolutely not ready to be a dad yet,' he chuckled, 'dodged a bullet there, huh, sweetheart?'

'Don't worry,' you laughed.

What are the odds, you thought. Sihtric put his shirt back on, raked his tattooed fingers through his short hair and leaned in to kiss your cheek.

'I better get going, no need to walk me to the door,' Sihtric said softly, knowing your legs had gotten quite the workout moments ago, 'thank you for tonight, I really needed it,' he smiled and pecked your cheek again, 'you're always so good to me, baby girl. You know exactly how I like it, you're truly a blessing,' he whispered and gave you a quick wink, 'I'll call you, okay, baby?'

'Yeah, okay,' you smiled and felt yourself blush.

Despite not being close, apart from sex, Sihtric definitely had a cheek-reddening effect on you with his impressive appearance, flirtatious behaviour and his smooth voice.

'See you around,' you said with a grin.

'Definitely, pretty lady,' Sihtric winked again and gave you a sly smile, before he walked out of your bedroom and let himself out of your home.

In his car, on the drive back to his own place, he cursed himself for being too afraid to tell you he actually wants more with you. He wanted to take you out on a proper date, really getting to know you outside of the bedroom. He had been meaning to ask you out for weeks already, but he was terrified to be rejected by you, after months and months of just having sex.

Meanwhile, you downplayed your own feelings for Sihtric when he had left, took a shower again and went to bed. 

And as your upcoming few weeks were kinda busy, you had to disappoint Sihtric a few times by answering his call and telling him you weren't in town.

'I promise I'll call you when I'm back home again,' you said on the phone.

'Promise?' Sihtric asked, you could even hear his soft smile by the way he spoke, 'don't keep me waiting much longer, baby girl,' he said with a cheeky tone, 'been thinking of that cute butt of yours a lot lately.'

'Behave!' you laughed, 'and I promise. But, hey, gotta run now, Sihtric, work's calling. I'll see you soon.'

'You better,' Sihtric said before you both ended the call and went about your day.

If only you knew how much Sihtric was longing to see you again, after finally having gathered the courage to ask you out next time he'd see you. 

And if only Sihtric knew that you would never call him again.

5 years later.

Two weeks after that last booty call you found out you were pregnant and, remembering Sihtric told you he was not ready to be a father, you panicked. You considered your options. You didn't have the heart to get an abortion, but you were also terrified to face Sihtric again, in fear of you and your child being rejected by him. In your full state of panic you blocked Sihtric's number. And when he showed up at your door a few weeks later, only because he was seriously worried about the woman he had fallen in love with who seemed to have vanished, you had kept yourself hidden in your kitchen until you heard him slam his car door shut and drive off. 

Then, you did the worst thing you could possibly do; you moved away, about two towns over, without ever telling Sihtric. And next spring you gave birth to his child, without his knowledge. 

Being a single mother was hard, and multiple times you thought about reaching out to Sihtric, but years had passed already and you knew he would probably not take this news well. You eventually got a job at a cute little coffee shop while your, now 4 year old, son stayed with an aunt of yours during the day. She'd bring your son, Ragnar, to the coffee shop every day just before your shift was over, so you could take him home.

And today was just like any other day. You only had twenty minutes left of your shift when you were asked to bring an order 'that hot guy with the sunglasses who's seated at the window,' as your colleague and best friend, Sandra, described the customer.

You did what you were asked and placed the large cup of coffee on the table of the hot guy, who was wearing a black beanie and had his eyes hidden behind his black sunglasses. He was very well built, his broad shoulders clearly visible underneath the black denim jacket he was wearing, under which he wore a dark hoodie. You saw he had a good, well kept goatee, and from the slight glimpse you got of him you had to admit; Sandra was right. He was kinda hot from what you could see.

'Enjoy your coffee,' you smiled and turned to walk away.

You didn't know that the hot guy had been staring at you from behind his shades for minutes already, ever since you caught his eye.

'Do I know you, lady?' he suddenly asked.

You froze, your back still turned to him. You had almost dropped the empty cup you held when you heard the sound of his voice. The smooth, soft, low voice you could never forget, because you had heard it so close to your ear uncountable times. But it surely couldn't be him…

You cleared your throat and gave the man a quick smile as you faced him.

'I doubt it,' you said politely and turned on your heels again.

'Baby girl?' the man said and jumped up, his chair making an awfully loud noise as it scraped over the floor with force.

You froze again, feeling your knees starting to shake underneath you and you turned to face him again, staring at him with wide eyes.

'S… Sihtric?' you barely whispered.

'So it is you,' Sihtric smiled softly and took off his sunglasses, revealing the scar on his cheekbone you recognised right away.

He took one big step and towered over you, gazing down into your eyes. He took your chin in his hand and kissed your cheek, like he used to when he'd meet up with you, years ago.

'How… how have you been?' Sihtric asked, quietly, but you could clearly hear a faint tremble in his voice while his mismatched eyes darted all over your face, 'you- you just disappeared,' he said, 'w-why?Why did you never call again or... or-''

'Sihtric,' you breathed, your cheeks heated up and your hands trembled, 'I… I'm sorry, but I'm at work… I can't talk right now-'

'Mommy!' Ragnar ran in and your aunt followed behind him.

You looked startled, then quickly used your son distracting Sihtric as your way to get out of the situation.

'Mommy?' Sihtric mumbled and he furrowed his brow as he looked at the child running towards you, 'hey, no, wait!' Sihtric said and grabbed your arm as you tried to sneak away, 'you have a son?' he asked, his eyes were suddenly huge and vulnurable, 'did… did you leave because you met someone? Why- why didn't you tell me?'

'Sihtric, please,' you said, 'it's… I have to go.'

You tried to pull out of his grip but, instead of letting go, Sihtric only held onto your firmer.

'No, please,' he begged, not wanting to lose you again, 'I need to know-'

'Sihtric, let go of me, please,' you hissed, trying to be quiet, but at this point everyone in the coffee shop was already staring at the two of you.

'Baby girl, please,' Sihtric pleaded, 'what… I need to know what happened between us.'

'It's…' you stammered, desperately wanting to tell him the truth, but you couldn't, 'I have to go,' you said, panicked, and you broke out of his grip.

'No, wait!' Sihtric raised his voice, but it was already too late.

Your shift was over and you had already thrown your apron on the counter, you pushed past your aunt and made haste to walk out of the coffee shop, with your son. With Sihtric's son. And tears crept up as you picked up Ragnar to cross the street, leaving Sihtric behind once again without any explanation, something you hoped you would never have to do again, as it had caused you to live with a broken heart ever since. 

And once again, it had all been your own doing, because you couldn't face him.

Later that evening, Sandra texted you after having witnessed the strange encounter at work.

Sandra: are you okay? What happened at work?

Sandra: did you know that guy? Did he bother you? He asked for your number after you had left, but I didn't give it… he seemed really hurt. Confused even, it was kind of scary… after you left he paced back and forth for a while in the shop, talking quietly to himself as he looked really distressed

Sandra: eventually he walked out, I think he was crying? We were really concerned about you

Sandra: the hot guys are always weirdos huh?

You: I'm okay, thank you

You: but yeah… I know him. it's a long story really. And he has my number, actually…

You: promise you won't tell anyone what I'm going to tell you now?

Sandra: of course, you know your secrets are safe with me

And so you finally told someone, for the first time in your life, about the father of your son and what you had done to him.

Your friend was shocked and tried to convince you to meet up with Sihtric, but you just couldn't. Without pressuring you, she urged you to think about Ragnar too, how he deserved to know who his father was. And she reminded you that Sihtric deserved to know he had a son. You knew Sandra was right and agreed to think about it, but now, you just wanted to sleep. Because you hoped to wake up from this nightmare.

Meanwhile, Sihtric was home again too, after he had randomly gone for a drive and happened to end up at the one place you were at. And as he was completely devastated by how you had run from him, again, he went over the events as he laid in bed, with his eyes closed, fighting his tears. He tried to understand your behaviour. He tried to understand why you had left in the first place. He tried to remember what had happened the last time he had seen you, even though it had been so long ago. 

And when he suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, it all clicked.

Your shift the next day went terribly slow. You had barely slept so, naturally, you were exhausted. To make things worse, your friend wasn't working today, so you had no one you could talk to about your current issue.

Hours and hours later, when your shift was over, you took off your apron and grabbed your jacket. You had asked your aunt if Ragnar could stay for dinner with her, as you needed a moment to yourself after work. But then, when you walked out of the coffee shop, you realised you would not have a quiet evening.

'Sihtric?' you gasped and froze when you saw him, waiting for you outside the shop, 'what- why are you here-'

'Please,' Sihtric said, as calm as he could while he stepped closer, 'please, talk to me.'

You stared up into his questioning eyes, and became overwhelmed with emotions. Part of you wanted to grab his face and kiss him as if it was the last thing you'd ever do, part of you wanted to tell him the truth about his son, and another part of you wanted to run away and hide. And you tried the latter. You almost sprinted away from Sihtric, around the corner, hoping you could run home. But Sihtric was fast, and even stronger than you remembered, so without any struggle he grabbed your arm and pulled you into a darkened alley, where he slammed you against the wall.

'Talk to me!' Sihtric growled.

A tone you had never heard from him before, and you didn't know if you were terrified or aroused right now. Probably a sick mixture of both, you thought, as he had trapped you between his body and the cold wall that pressed against your back.

'Who's child was that boy?' he asked, angered and confused, 'the one I saw yesterday, in the coffee shop, who called you mommy?'

'Please,' you trembled, 'don't make me do this,' you whispered.

'Who is the father of that child?!' 

'You are!' you shouted, and Sihtric stumbled a small step back when you shoved him, allowing his back to collide with the wall, finding support so he wouldn't fall down to his knees.

You stared at each other, with both hurt and anger in your eyes.

'You are his father, Sihtric,' you said with a sudden sob, and started to cry, 'you are.'

You explained to him, as best as you could through your tears, what had happened since the last time you had slept together. How you got pregnant, how you remembered Sihtric said he didn't want to be a father yet, and how you had panicked and just ran.

'And I know it will never justify that I hid this from you,' you sniffled, 'but I was terrified. I was so afraid to be rejected by you that I just ran, to protect myself and my… o-our child.'

'What's his name?'

'R-Ragnar,' you whispered.

Sihtric was quiet, until his tears started to roll down his cheeks and he moved his hands over his half shaved head, gripping at his dark curls, and then he let out a pained grunt as he punched his fists into the brick wall behind him.

'How could you do this to me?!' he shouted, 'how could you fucking do this!'

You knew you were the one who had made all the mistakes here, and you never wanted to argue with Sihtric in the first place, so you weren't going to try and defend yourself. You kept quiet as he let out his feelings, it was the least you could do.

'My child!' Sihtric shouted, his voice hoarse, 'you kept my child from me? For almost five fucking years!'

He huffed and let out a loud sob as he exhaled. His breath was shaky, as were his hands and his voice when he continued.

'What did I do to you?' he asked.

'Nothing,' you whispered, 'you did nothing-'

'Tell me!' Sihtric snarled, 'tell me what the fuck I did to you to deserve this! When did I hurt you?! When did I ever not treat you with respect?! When did I make you feel like you had the right to run away while you carried my child? My child?!' he shouted in your face.

'I… I have no answers,' you whispered as you wept silently, 'I have no excuse. Sihtric, you never did anything wrong. I'm… I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did this.'

'No, you're not,' Sihtric scoffed and wiped his tears, 'you're not sorry,' he looked at you with disgust, 'I… I don't even care if you were.'

And with those words, Sihtric left, and you fell down to your knees in the alley, crying, as you once again lost the love of your life.

When you arrived at work the next day, a complete mess, Sandra ran up to you.

'Girl!' she said as she grabbed your arms, 'that hot dad left you a note,' she pushed the piece of paper in your hand, 'he left seconds ago, you better go after him and fix this!'

Before you had time to read the note, Sandra shoved you outside of the coffee shop, pushing you in the direction Sihtric had just walked in when he left. As your feet started to carry you around the corner, your trembling hands opened the folded piece of paper.

Sweetheart,

I am sorry for the way I snapped yesterday. It was just a lot to take in, I'm sorry. I wish I had handled it differently, and I am sorry you always felt you could never contact me to tell me the truth. I hoped I'd find you at work today, but you weren't there, so I wrote this quick note. If you ever change your mind about us, about me, know that I would love to meet Ragnar. Know that I am ready to be a father. And know that I never had the guts to tell you how I felt when we were still seeing each other, years ago. But know that my feelings have never changed for you ever since. I never told you, but I was falling in love…

I am in love with you.

I'm sorry.

x    Sihtric

You pushed the note in your pocket as you ran through the street, until you ended up at a T-intersection. You looked left, but no sign of Sihtric there. Then you looked to the right, and when you suddenly saw his undeniable figure walk towards a parking lot, you ran as fast as you could.

'Sihtric!' you shouted, out of breath as you ran across the street, 'Sihtric! Wait! Please!'

Sihtric turned, and the sadness in his eyes seemed to make place for slight hope as he saw you running towards him.

'Sihtric, I love you,' you cried as you fell in his arms and crashed your lips onto his.

It took him a while to understand what was happening, but soon enough, he grabbed your face and kissed you back as if his life was depending on it. And you both didn't break the kiss until your lungs forced you to.

'I- I love you,' you sobbed, 'I know we barely know each other, but have always loved you somehow, and I need you in my life. Ragnar needs you in his life too. We need you in our life. I'm sorry, for everything.''

'I have always loved you too,' Sihtric sniffled, 'and, gods, the only thing I want is to be with you, baby girl,' he whispered and kissed you again, 'and with our… our son,' he smiled, 'there is nothing I want more than to have a family, with you. But first,' he cupped your cheeks, 'I really want to buy you a drink, if you have time right now.'

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylasthegrim @bubbles-for-all-of-us @andakth @bel-bottoms @willowbrookesblog @lady-targaryens-world @skyofficialxx @diosademuerte @elle4404 @alexagirlie @sweetxime @solango @gemini-mama @cheyennep3107 @little-diable @jennifer0305 @drwstarkeyy @mrsarnasdelicious @verenahx @urmomsgirlfriend1

#sihtric x reader #sihtric x you #sihtric kjartansson #the last kingdom #tlk #sihtric #sihtric fic #the last kingdom fic #modern!sihtric

[harrysmimi]

Hey! I absolutely love all your work. And live to see the Desi representation in some of your work. I was wondering if you could do one where everytime H goes out on stage or interviews all dolled up, the reader does the kajal thing for the bad nazar. I just think H would be like soo bashful and cute about it. Love you.

Evil Eye

First off, thanks anon for sending in the req. I love writing fic where I can imagine myself in. I am glad you like my work. Ilysm. Hope you like this one too. I wrote it real quick in like an hour. Pls ignore the typos if there are any, or simply feel free to point them out I'll edit it. Hehe.

More of my work

Harry was getting ready to perform for BRIT Awards.

He was home. He was with family and the love of his life, about to perform one of his hits. This was going to be one of the happiest nights of his life, he could already tell.

It was time for quick outfit change before he went on stage. His girlfriend of six months was hanging out in his green room with him as he got ready, she was on her laptop working away at a couple of urgent emails she had to send out.

It was her day off, but she's been recently promoted as senior manager at her firm and they need her there more often than it seems to be. Harry was more than content with just her presence by his side. He'd gotten into a pair of black pants before his hair stylist was on board. He'd tried on the few different tops to go with it, his last try was a red sparkly piece.

"You look handsome!" He heard his girlfriend chirp from behind him, when he turned around he saw her looking at him like a love struck puppy behind her glasses, her face lit blue from her laptop screen in the yellow lit room. She was sat on the rug using the coffee table as her desk.

"Thank you baby!" He couldn't help but blush at the compliment he for sure hears a million times when he's working. It somehow felt so special coming from her. She just shrugged in reply. "Did you get a good news from work?"

"Yeah, I got the on-paper for my promotion finally!" She shared.

"That's amazing, darling, congratulations!" He was immediately walking upto her with open arms to engulf her in a bone crushing hug and a tender kiss she deserves so much. "It's more legit now, innit?"

"Yeah! It feels so surreal to be honest!" She chuckled in pure joy. "Enough about me, tonight is for you and about you. Are you excited?"

"More than excited actually." He dat down next to her on the rug. "Can't wait to go out there and perform already!"

"I can see." YN commented, "this jacket looks good on you." She leaned forward with her lips puckered asking for a kiss, which Harry was more than glad enough to give her. He took the opportunity to pull her over his lap, making her straddle his thighs with his hands on her bum.

"Though it would look better on your bedroom floor, along with this hoodie, I think we have a good half an hour before the show." Harry managed to mumble between his kisses on her mouth.

"No, not here!"

"No one's gonna come in, I promise." He urged her, hands slipping under the her (his) hoodie over her bare skin.

"Stop it tickles!" She squirmed under his touch. "No, no, Harry not here please."

He let out a dramatic sigh, "fine!"

"But if you loose the shirt underneath, I might be able to trick my aunty thinking I am staying with a girl friend tonight." She challenged him.

"Then you better get to convincing her, love!" He already took off the jacket so he can rip off the tank top he wore underneath it, being his usual dramatic self.

It is indeed a difficult task to convince YN's landlady, who also happens to be her aunty for letting her stay out. She lives away from her family in London, but she's got her aunty a parent figure in the city, which comes with perks of not paying rent but also cons like still following a curfew, typical brown family behaviour. But none the less YN have managed to trick her aunty into thinking she's staying at one of her friend's house, when in reality she is at Harry's.

Her family knows about Harry, they are very accepting of him. Though her parents won't be happy if they find out their daughter spent a night at his place for obvious reasons.

He was tackling her on the rug now as he tickled her more. They spent their time goofing around and poking fun at one another. In no time Harry was ready to be on the stage.

"A lot of people are going to watch you today." YN pointed on trying her best to make her boyfriend keep his hands to himself for now.

"Mhmm." He sounded stealing a kiss from her. He watched her wipe the kohl from the corner of her eye and placed it behind his left ear, "what was that for?"

"To protect you from evil eye tonight." She shared, "you're looking extra, extra, extra gorgeous!"

"I didn't know you were superstitious." His cheeks turned red in an instant.

"Look at you blushing!" YN cooed at his reaction which had him burying his face into her neck to hide his bashful face. "Awe! Harry you're so cute, I love you!"

"I love you." He repeated.

"Now go and sing your heart out." She encouraged him.

"Mhmm." He nodded placing yet another kiss on her mouth before he was off to the stage just in time.

The night was memorable as expected. Harry got wasted like usual. His sister had to take him to her place as he shouldn't be left alone when he's drunk.

......................................................................

N O T E:

This is smth quick I wrote cuz I haven't posted anything sunce August. 😭 pls forgive me.

I love you. And pls lemme know how you liked it!

......................................................................

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#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles writing #harry styles imagine #harry smut #harry styles fic #harry styles abo #harry styles blurb #harry styles concept #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry fanfiction #boyfriendrry #boyfriend!harry #fiancerry #fiance!harry #husbandrry #husband!harry #fluff #harry fanfic #mimi talks #desi harries

[sturniolowhore]

☁️ THE PROJECT #4

summary ⎯ a biology project; that's all it is intended to be, a matter of communication amongst classmates in order to succeed yet the more time chris and aluna spend together, the harder it becomes to distinguish the line between requirement and want. they are required to work together, to spend time with one another and to exist beside one another until suddenly it doesn't feel forced. what is supposed to be simply completing a project turns into an unmistakable connection of hearts.

part 1, 2, 3, 4,

warnings ⎯ chris x fem!poc!oc, cursing, fluff, grumpy!oc and sunshine!chris, eventual smut, not proofread, mentions of anxiety, toxic homelife, mentions of selfharm, angst, hurt and comfort, etc.

A/N ⎯ another series baby! i know i said it would be one long fic but i wanted to get some writing out soon. i've written a few parts so i'll post them all rn but there's more to come eventually!!

i hope you enjoy <3

❛ ━━･❪ ִ ࣪𖤐 ❫ ･━━ ❜

"sturniolo three, you're late," mrs david looked up from her desk and chris gave her a sheepish smile as he glanced at his brothers who simply laughed at him.

"i lost track of time i'm sorry, it won't happen again," chris apologised sincerely, making his way to the back where aluna was doing some research for their project.

he sat down next to her with a soft smile, one that appeared too sympathetic for her liking but she chose not to dwell on it. she gave him the slightest smile, hoping she didn't come across as rude.

if there was one thing about aluna, it was the way she disassociated when something went wrong. she never cared to communicate with people in the first place but moments like the one from the day prior made her shut down even further. normally it would be fine given the fact that she never had anyone she was required to talk to but this time it was different. this time there was chris whom she knew could not deal with complete silence and was most definitely going to spike up a conversation of some sort with her.

"your phone case is different," he pointed out lazily and she felt herself freeze a little.

it was different. she had changed it so she wouldn't remember the interaction with her dad everytime she so much as glanced at her phone. but he noticed. he noticed something so small yet so big.

"felt like switching up," she responded, glancing back at the case to see the way it enveloped her phone.

"spontaneous," he teased and she couldn't help but laugh at his words.

chris could have sworn everything around him paused when she laughed. it sounded beautiful, so pure and innocent and as though it had been building up. he wanted to hear it more often, to see this side of her that she hid away for reasons unknown to him. he smiled at her and she looked away with flushed cheeks, embarrassed for some reason.

"don't hide away, you're allowed to laugh. especially when you're in the presence of somebody as funny as me," he beamed at her and she shook her head at his words but chris could see she was holding back a smile.

"i'm not hiding away," she rolled her eyes at him but she was trying her hardest not to smile.

there was something about being in chris' presence that was easy. existing alongside him almost felt like second nature and she wasn't used to such normality when it came to new situations. she didn't know what it was but it was in a way reassuring. it made her feel human so to speak. it made her feel human because she was starting to get the hang of the whole communication aspect. sure she wasn't anywhere close to the level she saw others at but slowly but surely she felt herself peeling back her layers. in the moment she would appreciate it but then she'd recall how nothing good lasts and the light always burnt out so why would she waste her time on something temporary? for now, she allowed herself to live in the moment.

"come on let me ask you something, what's your favourite season? actually wait let me guess," he paused for a moment and when he saw her waiting expectantly for an answer, he proceeded, "is it spring?"

"how the hell did you know that?" her eyes widened in surprise and he laughed at the expression, offering a small shrug of his shoulders.

she breathed in slowly, "can i guess yours?"

"yeah of course," he fucking beamed at her and the way she was actually placing herself in the conversation rather than allowing him to do all the talking.

"i feel like yours would be summer," she commented and he nodded his head eagerly, implying she was correct and making her smile yet again.

"why did you guess summer?" he raised his eyebrows playfully, wanting to know more.

"um you kind of just have a lot of energy and like you're very eager to talk and do things so it just made sense i guess?" she almost questioned hesitantly because she didn't want to offend him in any way.

"that was pretty accurate," he laughed softly and she felt her body physically ease at the response.

"why spring?" she couldn't help but ask, wanting to know how she was perceived.

chris paused for a brief moment; he wasn't entirely sure his reasoning would sit right with her and he didn't want to ruin the dynamic just as it started.

"i don't want you to feel like i'm reading into things too much," he told her and she looked at him curiously; now she most certainly wanted to know the reasoning for his choice.

"no go on, i wanna know," she shook her head, picking at her nails in slight anticipation.

chris stared at her hands and she sighed a little before dropping them to her sides, leaving him to grin at her before beginning to speak, "i feel like you like spring because it's in the middle like it's not too hot and it's not too cold. maybe you don't like too much of something because it can get overwhelming so you enjoy the balance."

read like a fucking book.

"i- what? how did you do that?" she questioned him, her lips parted slightly due to the shock towards the accuracy.

"i can just read people well," he brushed it off but she was still wondering how anyone could do something even remotely close to that.

following that, there was silence where they got back to work but for one of the first times, aluna didn't feel like it was an uncomfortable silence. she didn't feel as though silence was a negative aspect but more so a reflection of them getting used to each other or well, her getting used to him.

and then she did something she never would have expected in a million years, she spoke and broke the silence herself and it wasn't even about their task at hand, "what do you do for fun?"

chris looked around the room, almost as if he was expecting her to have been speaking to someone else. when he saw her eyes trained on him, he was rather surprised to say the least.

"i like going out with people or just being around people, mostly my brothers. if feels nice having company around you, you know?" he smiled at the thought.

she didn't know. in fact, company for her was unsettling and the ides of that being fun sort of alarmed her. it was strange how people worked in different ways. her idea of fun was to be alone and paint until her hands grew tired or watch stars until her eyes began to close yet here chris was, saying all he needed to have a good time was someone else.

"doesn't company ever feel like it's a lot?"

"not really, i always feel like things get too much when i'm alone," he confessed and she never really thought of it from that perspective until now.

"it must be nice, having brothers to keep you company at home," she found herself saying, ignoring the little jealousy she felt because she, of course, never had anyone by her side at home that could comfort her when things went wrong.

"it's the best, especially because matt and nick are my triplet brothers. it feels like having built in best friends. are you an only child?" he rambled lightly before addressing her in a curious tone.

she nodded her head as a means of a reply, her mind running loose with how different things may have been if she had a nick or matt in her life. she always felt alone, even in the most crowded of rooms but especially when she was home. her dad was just a reminder of what she could have had but he stripped that away from her.

he wasn't always like that but then again, things started to go wrong at a very young age. her mother died when she was only four but she was never told how, only blamed on several occasions by her father. it was always her fault and from then on, she felt like a burden in her own house. her house never felt like a home again and her dad was like a stranger who hated her for no reason.

sometimes she too blamed herself. it was stupid because she was never made aware of the matter itself. she had no idea how her mom died yet part of her soaked her dad's words in like a sponge. maybe it was her fault but she was only a child. no child should have been treated the way she was. there was never any physical abuse but as crazy as it sounded, sometimes she wished there was. physical abuse would leave bruises and scars that would someday fade but his words never vanished from her head. at night she would play them in her head over and over again until she fell asleep, only to wake up the next morning and remember she had no one there to tell her otherwise. she felt alone no matter where she was and she hated it. she hated it yet she had grown accustomed to it, to the point she knew nothing but loneliness.

"i mean at least you still have your parents," he smiled softly, of course not understanding what his words planted in her head.

"yeah," she mumbled but it wasn't true; she didn't remember a time when she felt like she had a parent never mind parents.

"do you have any pets?" another question he didn't realise would have such a strong impact on her.

she still remembered her childhood, pleading with her dad to get a pet of any sort so she at least had something but he simply turned her down. she remembered crying her eyes out in her room when she saw people walking past the window with dogs. she wanted that so badly until she didn't. now animals just served as a reminder of yet another thing she was deprived of.

"no, do you?" she replied simply, wanting to shift the focus onto him before she ended up snapping.

"a dog, his name is trevor," chris lit up when he talked about him and all aluna could do was smile, living vicariously through him.

"that's cute... um, can i see him?" she pondered nervously but chris' excitement showed her she had nothing to worry about.

he pulled his phone out from his pocket and clicked on his photos, pressing the most recent one with trevor that just so happened to have him holding the dog. aluna glanced at the picture with a smile, her eyes raking over the dog before they landed on chris. he looked so happy in the picture and it made her feel happy in a strange way. from what she could see, he was always smiling and she sort of admired him for it. it must have been nice to feel at ease with the world.

"you looking at trevor or me sanchez?" he teased and she pulled her eyes away from the screen, rolling them when she looked at chris who was grinning at her.

"are you always smiling?" she pointed out and he shrugged happily.

"you're like the sun," she voiced without meaning to and she instantly scolded herself mentally for the carelessness.

"i am? in what way?" he looked at her with interest, as though he wanted to know every last thing the comment held behind it.

and then the bell rang to signal the end of the lesson, leaving aluna to breathe a quick sigh of relief and chris a little frustrated that he never found out more. she mumbled a quick goodbye and then she was gone, like she never spoke to him and asked him questions, like she never called him the sun.

he shook his head fondly and then smiled when nick and matt approached him as he packed away his stuff into his backpack.

"you're smiling like a fucking creep," nick deadpanned and chris couldn't help but laugh; he sort of was smiling like a weirdo.

"she actually spoke to me," he told them excitedly as they made their way towards the door.

"she did?" matt turned to him in disbelief and chris nodded his head enthusiastically.

"what does it mean if someone says you're like the sun?" he turned to them, avoiding matt's question somewhat without even meaning to do as such.

"she said that to you?" nick raised his eyebrows, shock apparent in his expression when chris nodded his head in approval.

"why don't you ask her?" matt teased, discretely pointing to her across the corridor, her headphones over her ears and head looking to the ground as always.

chris sighed, "i did, the bell rang and she kind of ran away."

"i'd run away from you too," nick smiled sarcastically and chris shoved his shoulder, a small laugh escaping his lips as he watched her walk away, turning the corner and leaving his sight.

❛ ━━･❪ ִ ࣪𖤐 ❫ ･━━ ❜

TAGS: @mattslolita @mattsleftnipple03 @sturniolololover @hearts4chris @sturniofilmd @luvsturns @that-general-simp

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo fanfic #smut #fem oc #grumpy x sunshine #sunshine #anxitey #angst kinda #angst #comfort #hurt/comfort #sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo smut #the sturniolos #the sturniolo triplets #matthew sturniolo #fluff #strong #themes #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolowhore #series

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unexpected 37

Sequel to Unsolicited

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, pegging, Lloyd being the worst, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You lazily eat the penne, noodle by noodle, from the plate balanced on your stomach. The evening air cools as Suzanne sits close by, her pasta mostly untouched as she sips non-alcoholic wine from a glass.

Lloyd has been elusive since his return, though you've heard some telltale banging. He continues to haunt you like some Poe horror.

"I couldn't do it," Suzanne trills, "I can barely stand more than an hour with the jackass and I get paid to."

"Mmm, yeah, wasn't exactly my first choice, but accidents happen. Actually, you know him, no such thing as an accident, more a lack of accountability."

"Oh, ew," she scrunches her nose, "he didn't strike me as the baby type." 

"Me either which is why… well, nevermind."

You spear another noodle and carefully angle it past your lips, trying not to dribble any sauce. It's been a while since you had someone you could just talk to. Dottie is a great support but she's still Lloyd's mother.

"What?" She prompts as she leans her chin in her hand.

"Oh, you know, I'm the mother. Means I'm gonna be doing all the work. And why? Because he thought it would be fun… he gets to have the shiny bright moments and I'll be changing diapers and cleaning up puke."

"Typical," she snarls. "Never likes to get his hands dirty."

She takes another sip of wine and she slowly puts the glass down. Her lips slant as a thought sparks in her eyes. She points at you and clicks her tongue.

"What happened with the mustache?"

"What do you mean?"

"He shaved. Months ago. Was that you?"

You cackle as you recall that. It was rather amusing to witness the shame and panic of his drunken mistake. You rest your fork against the rim of the plate.

"Did it himself. Got blitzed off his face and just, shoop, gone," you make a motion above your lip, "idiot."

“Ha, wow. Damn. I was hoping you had a bit of vengeance on the prick. I mean… you still could. Wait til he falls asleep…” she smirks, “you know once, were were on a flight and I probably could’ve done it.”

“I’m already expecting one baby, I don’t need another,” you scoff. “Here, can you get this?”

You lift the plate and hold it out to her. She’s quick to take it and puts it beside her own. You plant your hands on the sides of the chair and grunt, pushing yourself up with excruciating effort. You manage to sit forward, breathless.

“Jeez, you need help?” She hovers near you.

“Probably,” you struggle to turn your legs over the edge.

“Is it really that miserable?” She asks.

“What? Being with him?”

“I mean, that too, but being pregnant,” she offers her arm.

“Eh, it’s just the cherry on top of an already stacked shit sandwich.”

“I see why he’s with you,” she snorts, “you are both very creative. Disgustingly so.”

You roll your eyes and grab onto her arm. Before you can stand, you hear your name. Not ‘peaches’, not ‘baby face’, not ‘sweet cheeks’, your name. Lloyd stomps out, waggling his finger.

“Suzanne, step away from my wife.”

“Huh?’

 Suzanne twists to face Lloyd, “Christ, I’m helping her.”

“No, you’re not,” he storms down, shoulder back, nostrils flaring, “she’s not supposed to be walking around.” He comes up to you and puts his palm up to stop you, “I’ll take care of her.”

“Lloyd, I can make it inside.”

“The doctor said–”

“God, I know what the doctor said,” you hiss.

“So listen. Neither of us wanna end up back in the hospital, now do we?”

You sigh. You and Suzanne share a look. You recognise the dull twinkle in her eye. You’re kindred spirits. Cursed with the nuisance of this man, only she gets to walk away.

“So, Suzanne,” Lloyd plants a hand on your shoulder as he faces his colleague, “you on your way out?”

“Um, I guess, but–”

“That’s great, I don’t need to show you out, do I?”

She smiles dryly and tilts her head, “not at all. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Lloyd sputters.

“Oh yeah, we’re doing lunch, right, babe?” She looks at you expectantly.

Your brows lift and you take a second to register what she’s doing. You nod. “Uh, yep, yeah, that’ll be great.”

“Peaches, you should be relaxing. You’re all tense,” Lloyd squeezes your shoulder, “I can feel it–”

“So that probably means she needs a nice back rub, huh,” Suzanne suggests with a devilish glint in her eye.

Lloyd clucks, “yeah, I guess it does so… leave.”

Suzanne chuckles. She raises her palms and backs away. “Fine, I’ll fuck off. For now.”

Lloyd sneers at her as she slowly turns and she struts off proudly, fishing in her pocket until her car chirps and unlocks. You watch her get in and deflate, just a little. It’s just you and him. Again.

You shrug Lloyd’s hand away and rub your stomach, keeping one hand on the lounger. As Suzanne backs down the driveway, you issue a glum sigh. Without her to distract you, you feel ever pang and pinch in your muscles.

“Alright, where to?” Lloyd faces you.

“Huh?”

“Sofa, bath… bed?” He winks, “I think I could help ease the tension.” 

“Just… inside,” you mutter, “please.”

He pauses. You avoid his gaze as you look out across the yard. It’s only then the heavy epiphany settles over you. This place is a prison. It’s the last place you’ll live for the rest of your life. With him and soon his child. You’ll never be without a warden to keep you in line.

“Alright,” he bends and scoops you up, slowly, with effort. You feel horrible as he turns cautiously, steps stunted and stiff. 

“Lloyd, you’re going to hurt yourself doing this,” you hook your arm around his shoulders and try to ease the weight.

“I’m fine,” he grunts as he gets to the door.

You reach for the door to open it. He turns and sidles in awkwardly. It’s a tight shuffle but he makes it inside. He carries you back to the living room and sits you on the couch. He stands, cheeks tinged and forehead sweaty.

“Tea?” He offers.

“No,” you recline with a groan, “why are you being nice?”

“I’m your husband.”

“You were yelling at me an hour ago.”

“Because I’m worried.”

“About me or the baby?”

He sniffs and grips his hips, “both.”

“Eh, sure,” you dismiss him flatly, “I just wanna lay her. Alone.”

“Well that’s not going to happen,” Lloyd states.

“Of course,” you grumble.

“I am going to rub your back and you’re going to relax. You need to, peaches, for yourself as much as the kid.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you mutter. “Really, don’t bother–”

He pushes you up, grasping your shoulders as he angles onto the couch behind you. He sits between you and the arm, hooking his leg around you as he settles in. He rolls his thumbs into you, forcing a moan from your lips as you muscles contract in response.

“Feels good?” He asks.

“Erm,��� you refuse to indulge him.

“Come on, baby face.”

You’re quiet as you hang your head forward. You’ll enjoy it but you don’t have to admit it. You hug your stomach as he slides his hands down your back, pressing his knuckles into each knot.

“Do you always have to ruin everything?” You ask at last.

“What?”

“Chase away everyone. What am I not allowed to have friends?”

“What–”

“If you don’t want me… like this,” you gesture helplessly, “you have to give me something, anything, that doesn’t make me absolutely miserable.”

He exhales and his hands keep moving. You let your head drift to the side as you laze into his touch.

“You don’t know Suzanne. She’s… well, she’s a lot like me.”

“Funny, cause she said the same about me.”

“Oh, really,” he scoffs.

“Yeah, think you’ve rubbed off on me.”

“Hell yeah I have,” he snickers, “rub off to you and over you, on you…”

“Would you– do you ever just stop?”

He hums and puffs out through his nose, “alright, peaches, you’re right. You can’t be all alone all the time. Just…keep those walls up. You got good instincts.”

“Mmm, yeah, just bad luck.”

#lloyd hansen #dark lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #dark!lloyd hansen #drabble #au #series #unexpected #the gray man

[willalove75]

Oooh how about a Rebecca x reader fic where they have a sugar mommy/sugar baby arrangement, like maybe Rebecca agrees to help Reader out financially in exchange for their companionship (like going to dinners and richmond games since rebecca doesn't get to see keeley much anymore and she wants a buddy) but they fall for each other somewhere along the way?? Your fics are a godsend btw 😇

I love this!!!! This is actually the first of many sugar mommy requests I've gotten and I'm here for them😂 Thank you for the request!! 💕

And thank you SO much 🥺 I keep saying this but I really mean it, I neverrrr expected people to read, no less really enjoy my fics and it makes me so happy that everyone has been enjoying them so much! 💕

You walk into the café you spend most of your mornings in and order your usual drink from the barista. While your drink is being made you set up your laptop in your usual spot and start working on your school work. You hear your name called and you grab your drink and head back towards your seat. As you're walking across the café you notice a beautiful and very tall blond woman walk in, you make eye contact with her, you exchange smiles and you sit back down. You pop in your headphones and continue on your paper. The café is usually pretty crowded in the mornings, but its still one of your favorite places to come and get some work done. You hear someone say something and you take out one of your headphones and look over, you see the pretty blond woman standing next to you.

"Is this seat taken?" She politely asks.

"Oh, no, go ahead." You say with a smile.

She smiles back at you and you put your headphone back in and keep working. You see her scrolling on her phone out of the corner of your eye as she waits for her drink. You're distracted from your paper when you get a call on your computer from one of your classmates you're doing a project with.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Hey, I'm sorry but I'm not gonna be able to make our project meeting tonight."

"Come on dude you're killing me."

"I know I'm sorry, I'll send you my half by tomorrow morning, I promise."

"Please don't fuck me on this I need to do well on this project, I need a good grade in this class so I can keep my scholarship."

"I won't! I promise!"

They hang up and you pull your headphones out and rub your face with your palms.

"For fucks sake." You grumble to yourself.

You notice the woman looking over at you and you look at her.

"Sorry," you say, a little embarrassed. "Group projects are the worst."

"No apologies necessary." She says with a smile and returns her attention back to her phone.

You put your headphones back in and continue your paper. The woman gets up and gets her drink and leaves. You keep working on your paper for another hour and then head off to class.

The next morning you're back in your usual spot in the café, you're sipping on your drink when you see the same blond woman walk in again. You accidentally make eye contact with her again and you both exchange smiles once more. She orders her drink and you get a call from your classmate.

"Please for the love of all things holy tell me you're calling me because you're sending me your half this very second."

"I am I am I'm sorry."

"It's due in an hour!"

"I know check your email you should have it."

You check your email and see the woman walk up next to you again, you make eye contact with her and she points to the seat, you nod letting her know it's not taken and she sits down next to you as she waits for her order.

"You are so lucky I don't hate you." You say to your classmate.

"I know I owe you big time, it shouldn't be too much to put together, I sectioned it all out so it's easier for you."

"Oh thank god, thank you. Okay I'll finish this, see you in class, bye."

You breathe a sigh of relief and you take your headphones out. The woman looks over at you and you look over at her and smile.

"I'm guessing your group project worked out?" She asks.

"Yes, barely, but it worked out." You say with a smile.

"Well good, I'm glad."

"Me too."

You hear the barista call an order for Rebecca and the woman gets up and turns to you.

"Well good luck with it."

"Thank you."

For the next few weeks most of your mornings in the café go the same way, you order your drink, set up in your usual spot, the blond woman, Rebecca, sits next to you, you both exchange a few words, she gets her drink and leaves. Slowly you two start chatting more and more, mostly just small talk, what your usual morning orders are, you tell her you're a student at the local university, she tells you she works at a football club. Eventually you begin to talk more about your personal lives, you tell her you're paying your way through school, you work nights and go to school during the day. She eventually tells you that she's the owner of AFC Richmond, you try to keep your cool, but not only has your family been diehard Richmond fans your whole life, you've been talking to the owner of a football club for over a month every morning?!

One morning she comes into the café and seems sad, you can tell something is going on and you ask her if everything is okay, she sighs and tells you that she found out her ex-husband is having a baby with his new wife, she doesn't go into detail, but you can tell by the way she's talking about it that she wanted a family, you're not sure if she wasn't able to have kids, or if they just never did, but you feel bad. The more you two talk, the longer you both stay at the café and chat. You begin to really look forward to seeing her each morning, you even began leaving your bag or jacket on the seat next to you so you can save the seat from being taken until she shows up.

You walk into the café one morning feeling totally defeated, you got laid off from your job last night and your world seems to be crumbling around you. You order your drink and claim your usual spot, you don't have the energy to even take out your laptop, no less do any school work right now. You get your drink and sit back down, staring into space, consumed by your thoughts. Rent is due soon, you have to pay your loans, a new semester is starting in a few weeks and you need to figure out how you're going to pay for your books, you feel like you're drowning, you didn't even notice Rebecca came in and claimed her usual seat next to you.

"Good morning." Rebecca says.

You don't hear her, the thoughts in your head are so loud they almost drown out the entire café. You're pulled out of your spiral when you feel a hand on your arm.

"Hey, are you okay?"

You look over and see Rebecca, a concerned look drawn across her face.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't even realize you were here. I'm fine, I'm just-" you feel your voice crack, a few tears roll down your cheeks and you quickly try to wipe them away.

"Oh honey what's wrong?" She asks, putting her hands over yours.

"I got laid off last night, and I have all of these bills due and I have to pay for school and for books for the next semester and-" you shake your head and wipe your eyes again.

"Oh honey." Rebecca says, you're surprised when she pulls you in for a hug, but it's definitely something you needed. You wrap your arms around her and lay your head on her shoulder. You feel a calm wash over you as she gently rubs your back, her other hand cradling your head.

"It's gonna be okay." She says softly.

You try and hold back your tears, you don't want to cry all over her designer jacket, it probably costs more than your rent.

"Is there anything I can do? Do you need a job?" She asks.

"Oh god I couldn't let you do that," you say pulling away. "Thank you though. Plus, I go to school during the day, the job I had was perfect because I was able to work nights."

She nods her head. "I get it, there has to be something I can do to help. How much is your rent?"

"Everything for the month is about £2,300." You say defeatedly.

Rebecca goes into her bag and opens her wallet, she pulls out £2,500 and hands it to you.

"Here, this should take care of it."

"Oh my god Rebecca I can't take this," you say, shocked that she not only just had that much in cash on her, but just offered it to you like it was nothing.

"Yes you can, take it." She puts the cash in your hand.

"I can't- I can't pay you back for this, thank you, really, but that's way too much." You say, handing it back to her.

She puts her wallet away and pushes your hand back towards you.

"You don't have to, really. It's my money and I want you to have it." She says with a smile.

You stare at the cash in your hand for a moment and look back up at her.

"Are you sure? I have to do something to try and repay you, I can't just take it."

She smiles and looks at you.

"You know what you can do? Come to the game with me this weekend. My friend Keeley isn't able to make it and they're terribly boring when I have to be there alone. It'll be nice to have company."

"Uh, are you sure? I mean I'd love to go but are you sure that's enough? How much are the tickets?"

Rebecca lets out a little laugh.

"Tickets? You don't need tickets, you'll be up in the owners box with me."

You sit there in shock for a second.

"Rebecca, I can't let you give me all of this money for rent and let you take me to a football game, that's insane."

"Trust me, you'll be doing me a huge favor by coming with me. I can't stand being at the games alone." She says with a smile.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, absolutely."

The barista calls Rebecca's order and she turns and looks back at you.

"I have to run, are you okay?" She asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine, thank you, seriously. I really owe you."

"Please, don't worry about it. Meet me at Richmond Saturday afternoon before the match, okay?"

"Okay, thank you."

She gives you a hug and heads to get her drink.

"See you on Saturday!" She says as she leaves.

You put the money in your wallet and zone out again for a moment, you can't believe that any of that actually happened. You open your laptop and try to get some work done but you still can't really focus. After about an hour you head out and go to class.

Saturday morning rolls around and you get out of bed and get ready for the day. You do some more homework as you eat breakfast, after a few hours you decide to give yourself a break and go get ready for the match. You leave your flat and head over to AFC Richmond, excitement and nerves flood through your veins as you walk up to the building. You head in through the doors and ask someone to point you in the direction of Rebecca's office. You head up the stairs and walk up to the half-open door. You gently knock and hear a voice on the other side.

"Come in."

You open the door the rest of the way and see Rebecca sitting at her desk.

"Oh, y/n, how are you? Welcome!" She says as she gets up and walks towards you.

"Hi, I'm good, I hope I'm not too early."

"Oh not at all." She says and gives you a hug. "Please, take a seat," she gestures towards her couch and walks over to the table across the room. "Would you like anything? Tea? Water?"

"Uh, sure, tea is fine, thank you."

Rebecca walks over with two cups of tea and sits down next to you.

"So, are you excited for the game?" She asks.

"Yes, very. Thank you so much, again. It really meant a lot-"

"Oh don't mention it, it was the least I could do." She says with a smile.

You two chat for a little bit, you tell her more about your major, she talks about running the club, you enjoying talking to Rebecca. You would think that given the age difference and the differences between the two of you in general the two of you wouldn't have much in common, but to your surprise, and to hers, you actually do.

"So are you a big football fan?" She asks.

"I mean, I wouldn't say I'm a huge fan, but I grew up watching the games. My dad is actually a huge Richmond fan."

"Well, we'll have to get him here for a match one day."

"He would love that, he actually doesn't know I'm here today. He would freak the hell out if he found out I was going to be in the owners box for today's match."

She smiles at you and starts to stand up.

"Come on, let me show you around."

"Oh, okay sure!"

She leads you out of the office and down the stairs. She brings you down to the locker room and knocks on the door as she walks in.

"I pray you're all decent." She says walking into the room.

A little in shock, you follow in behind her, you're trying to keep your mouth from hitting the ground, you can't believe that she just waltzed into the locker room, you know she's the owner, but you can't believe that you're here right now, this close to all of the players you've been watching for years.

"Team, this is y/n, y/n, this is the team!"

"Hi y/n!" The team says in unison.

You feel your cheeks get warm as you wave at everyone.

"Hi." You quietly say.

You follow Rebecca to the back office where coach Lasso, coach Beard, and Roy Kent are gathered.

You freeze when you see Roy, you grew up watching him, your dad wore his jersey for every match he's watched since Roy joined the team. Even after his retirement your dad wore his jersey every match for good luck.

"Coaches, this is my friend y/n, y/n, this is coach Lasso, coach Beard, and Roy Kent." She says with a smile.

"Holy shit." You quietly say, staring at Roy. "You're Roy fucking Kent."

"So I've been told." He says.

You snap out of being star struck and reach out your hand.

"Hi, I'm so sorry, I'm y/n, I just can't believe I'm here right now, this is insane. I've been watching you since I was a little girl. My dad loves you, he wears your jersey every match, even still." You ramble as you shake his hand.

Roy grunts and nods his head and you turn to coach Lasso and coach Beard.

"This is crazy, hi, it's so amazing to meet you guys." You say, shaking their hands.

"Great to meet ya y/n, so how'd you end up meetin' the boss over here?" Ted asks.

"Uh," you look over at Rebecca. "We go to the same café every morning and we started talking and kind of became friends."

Rebecca smiles at you and turns her head to the coaches.

"So, how are we looking for tonight's match?" She asks.

"So far so good!" Ted says.

There's a knock on the door behind you, you turn around to see Sam and Jamie standing there. You feel yourself frozen in place, you can't believe you're really here right now. They ask coach Lasso a question and Rebecca introduces you to them. You do your best to keep your cool but you can't quite hide all of your excitement. They head back into the locker room and Rebecca turns to you.

"Alright, we should start heading out to the box." She looks over at the coaches. "Good luck!"

"Thanks boss! It was great meeting you y/n." Ted says.

"It was great meeting you too coach Lasso."

You follow Rebecca back out of the locker room and back into her office.

"That was insane holy shit." You say as you grab your jacket. "Sorry if I freaked out a little, I've never met a football player before."

Rebecca smiles at you. "Oh no, don't worry at all, it was sweet."

The two of you head to the owners box the excitement in the crowd begins to build along with your own. You feel like a kid watching the game, cheering and groaning with the rest of the crowd, you're having the time of your life. Halftime comes and Rebecca looks over at you.

"Are you having a good time?"

"Yes! This is amazing! I still can't believe I'm here. I never would have thought that I would be experiencing my first football match in the owners box."

Rebecca looks at you with a look of surprise on her face.

"You've never been to a football match before?"

"No, not a professional one. My parents were never able to afford tickets for all of us to go, my dad has gone to a few, but I never got the chance before."

Rebecca smiles at you.

"Well, I'm glad you're having a good time!"

The second half starts and the excitement builds up again. Before you know it, the match is over. Richmond lost, but you still had the best time of your life. You follow Rebecca back to her office and she pours two glasses of wine, you both sit on her couch and hang out for a bit.

"I'm sorry your first game was a losing one." Rebecca says.

"Oh it's fine, even though we lost I still had an amazing time."

"Well I'm very glad to hear that. I can't believe I didn't know you've never been to a game before, I would have had you come weeks ago if I knew that!"

"That's okay, I'm glad I was able to come tonight, I mean it was the least I can do. Are you sure there's no other way I can repay you?"

"Please, don't worry about it. Have you been able to find a new job yet?"

"I was offered a waitressing job, but the pay is shit, I'd have to work almost double the hours I did at my old job to come close to what I made there. I'll probably take it, but I'm worried it's going to be too much. I'm on scholarship so if I let my grades slip I won't be able to afford to go at all."

"Oh god you can't work a waitressing job, those jobs are horrendous. I would know, I was a waitress once a long time ago." She says with a comforting smile.

"I know, I really don't want to, but I don't think I have any other options."

Rebecca looks down into her glass and back up at you.

"May I make a proposal?" She asks.

You look over at her, a little confused, you have no idea where she's going with this.

"Sure?"

"Well, what if I were to give you the money you needed for school, books, rent, all of that, and you accompany me to games, boring dinner events, things I would normally have to suffer through alone, and we'll call it even?"

"What?" You ask, surprised at what she just proposed to you.

"You don't have to give me an answer right away, just, think about it."

"Wait, so you would pay me to keep going to games with you, to go out to dinner and stuff like that?"

"Yeah, think of it more as a trade." She says with a smile.

"That doesn't sound very fair to you, I mean, it sounds like I'm getting the better end of this deal."

"Trust me, it's more than fair. Plus, I like having you around, I think it could be fun."

"Are you sure? Rebecca, that's a lot of money, I don't think I could-"

"Listen," she says, putting her hand over yours. "I know it sounds like a lot of money, and to most people, it is. I am in a very fortunate position where that isn't much to me, at all, so it really is not a problem. Plus, I'd hate to see you waiting tables at a shitty diner at 3am, you deserve better than that. So yes, I am sure."

You pause and think for a second, it almost sounds too good to be true, but then again, with the position you're in right now, you'd be stupid to pass up an opportunity like this.

"Okay, I'm in."

"Wonderful." She says with a smile.

You both finish your wine and head out. You say your goodbyes and walk towards your flat with hundreds of thoughts spinning in your head. You can't believe everything that happened tonight, Rebecca inviting you to the game, you got to meet the whole team, the coaches, Roy fucking Kent. To top it all off, Rebecca offered to pay your bills to hang out with her? You feel like you're living in some weird dream. You get back to your flat and start getting ready for bed. Your phone dings and you check the notification, you see a text from Rebecca.

I had a wonderful time tonight, I hope you had fun too. Looking forward to seeing you again.

You catch yourself smiling at her text, you reply back

I had a great time, thank you so much, for everything. Let me know the time & place for next time, I'm looking forward to it too.

You wake up the next morning to another text from Rebecca

Dinner Friday night at 7?

You reply

I'll be there.

The week passes rather quickly, you spend most of your time studying for finals since the semester is almost over. Hoping to finish your degree as quickly as possible, you've been taking courses during every break, your new classes start in a few weeks and you're looking forward to them. You get a text from Rebecca on Friday telling you where to meet her, you look up the restaurant and realize it's a very fancy restaurant, you dig through your closet hoping to find something appropriate to wear. You find an old dress that should work and you try it on, by some miracle it still fits and looks decent so you decide to stick with that for the night. You finish getting ready and go to the restaurant, you see Rebecca pulling up as you arrive and you wave when you see her.

"Y/n, you look beautiful!" She says, giving you a hug.

"Aw thank you, you look amazing too."

"Are you hungry?" She asks.

"Yes, starving."

"Me too, lets eat."

You both walk into the restaurant and are seated at a table. The waiter brings over waters and the menus.

"So we were supposed to be meeting some share owners, but they called and canceled right as I was leaving so it's just the two of us tonight." She says with a smile.

"Oh, okay,"

"But don't worry, a promise is a promise."

"Oh, I wasn't-"

"I know, but I wanted it to be known anyway, even if someone cancels on us, I will still hold up my end of the deal."

"Okay, thank you." You say with a smile.

"By the way, are you able to come to the match tomorrow night?"

"Oh, yeah, absolutely!"

"Good, it should be better than the first one. I hope it is anyway." She says with a laugh.

You both order dinner and drinks, you both laugh and chat as the waiter brings your drinks over.

"To our arrangement." Rebecca says, lifting her glass.

You lift your glass and they clink together and you both take a sip. As the night goes on the conversation seems to flow effortlessly, you don't feel like you're being paid to keep Rebecca company, you feel like you're out to a very nice dinner with your friend. It only becomes quiet while you both eat, even then you're still chatting between bites. After a few rounds of drinks, a wonderful dinner, and delicious dessert, you both are stuffed and happy. Rebecca pays the bill and you both leave the restaurant.

"That was amazing." You say as you rub your full belly.

"I love coming here, everything is so delicious." Rebecca says. "Thank you so much for coming. I mean, I know we have this whole arrangement, but I had a great time with you."

"I had a great time with you too." You say with a smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow for the match?"

"Yes, absolutely, same time as last time?"

"That would be perfect."

Rebecca's driver pulls up and you hug her goodbye. She waves as her car pulls away and you head back to your flat, very full and very happy. The following day you meet Rebecca in her office again, the two of you hang out and chat before the match.

"Oh, before I forget." She says, getting up and grabbing her purse.

She pulls out a check and hands it to you, you look at it, it's enough to not only cover your books for the semester, but practically covers the entire semester.

"Oh my god." You say, shocked at the number on the check, you look up at her, your eyes wide.

"Well I figured that might be easier than giving you piece by piece every time I see you. I think that should cover dinner, tonight, and one or two more," she pauses to think of the right word. "events." She says with a smile.

"One or two? Rebecca this is like ten!"

"Oh don't be silly."

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" You ask, you feel a little guilty, you don't want her to give you all of this money out of pity.

"Absolutely, stop asking me that." She says with a laugh. "If I ever think it's become too much or something I promise I will let you know, okay?"

"Okay."

You put the check away and the two of you head off to your seats. The game is just as exhilarating as the last, even more so because in the final minute, Richmond scores and they win the match. Both you and Rebecca jump and cheer, you're having the time of your life with her.

The weeks go on and you both continue to go to games, you accompany her to some business dinners, and some non-business dinners. You begin to get the feeling that she just wants someone to hang out with, you're not sure if she's just doing this because she's paying you, or because she genuinely enjoys spending time with you, but you think it's the latter. You genuinely enjoy spending time with her, you two become very close quickly, talking almost every day, you meet her friends, Keeley and Sassy, she meets yours, although neither of you speak of your arrangement to anyone. You've grown to really care for Rebecca, she's grown to really care for you too. You almost feel bad that she's still paying you, although every time you bring it up she waves you off and tells you she doesn't mind.

One Saturday night you go out to dinner with Rebecca, Keeley and Sassy. The four of you dressed for the occasion, another fancy restaurant. You've gotten to know Keeley pretty well, but this is only the second time you've met Sassy, you even got to meet her daughter, Rebecca's goddaughter, Nora briefly. The four of you order drinks and entrees, laughing and talking all night. The conversation flows as easily as the drinks do, by the end of the night everyone has a good amount of alcohol in their system. As you leave, Keeley and Sassy hold onto each other for stabilization and Rebecca holds onto you, you hold onto her, neither of you able to balance on your own. Roy picks up Keeley and Sassy gets a ride home, Rebecca looks at you

"How are you getting home?"

"Uh" you realize you walked from your flat, something you are not able to do in your current condition. "I don't know" you say and laugh.

Rebecca laughs as she holds onto you.

"Come on, you're coming home with me." She says, guiding you to her car.

Usually you would protest in fear of being an inconvenience, but tonight you just go with the flow. You both get into her car and her driver takes you to her house. As you're on your way to her house a realization hits you, the beautiful blond woman you met in the café was sitting right next to you, she became a friend of yours, she's been paying you to hang out with her. It's a strange feeling for a moment, but you look at her and for the first time, maybe ever, you realize just how beautiful she is, how her eyes sparkle when she laughs, how kind and caring she is. You realize that you've fallen for her, you're not sure if it happened so slowly you didn't realize it, or if it just hit you all at once, but you feel a warmth in your chest you didn't notice before.

You get into the house and she gives you a tour, even in your drunken state you're taken back at how beautiful her home is. She shows you the kitchen and your jaw feels like it's on the floor.

"Rebecca, your house is stunning."

"Aw thank you, I do love it." She says, admiring her home. "Come on, let me show you upstairs."

She leads you up the stairs and shows you the second floor, she brings you into her bedroom, you see a fireplace on the wall opposite the bed with a big flat screen tv sitting above it.

"Holy shit you have a fireplace in your bedroom?!"

Rebecca laughs and you look and see the pathway to her closet leading to a gorgeous master bathroom.

"Holy shit Rebecca, this is gorgeous."

You walk back into the bedroom and sit next to Rebecca on the side of her bed.

"I'm glad you like it." She says with a smile.

"Dude, this is crazy. Your bedroom is like the size of my entire flat." You laugh.

Rebecca laughs and looks at you, you smile back at her.

"Thank you." She says.

"For what?"

"For being such a good friend."

"Of course, I really like spending time with you. Even if you didn't pay me, I'd still really enjoy it." You laugh.

Rebecca laughs and puts her hand on your leg, you put your hand over hers. She looks into your eyes, without even realizing what was happening your lips meet hers, you have no idea who made the move, or if you both did, but you feel sparks igniting as you kiss. You feel electricity running through you as your tongues meet, you feel her gently hold onto the back of your hair as your hand moves up to her face.

Her hand travels down your neck to your zipper on your back, you move your hair out of the way and she pulls the zipper down. You pull your arms out of your dress and it falls around your waist, exposing your lacey bra. She guides you to stand and she pulls your dress to the ground, you pull her in and passionately kiss her again, her hands firmly grasping your hips. You fumble with the zipper on her dress and she breaks the kiss and stands up, turning her back towards you so you can unzip her.

You pull down her zipper and she lets her dress fall to the floor, she crawls onto the bed and motions for you to follow her. She pulls you on top of her and pulls you into her, your lips meeting once again. You put your hands underneath her and unclip her bra and pull it off, you grab each one of her breasts and massage them as you continue to kiss her. She lets out a small moan into your mouth and you smile, you feel her reach around your back and unclip your bra, you pull it off and she holds you tight against her. Her leg slides between yours and you grind against her, small moans escaping into her mouth, she grinds against your leg, you feel her wet thong against your skin.

She rolls on top of you and kisses down your jaw to your neck, you grab a fistful of hair at the back of her head as she sucks and kisses your neck. She moves to the other side and does the same, she sucks on your pulse point and you let out a small moan, you feel her smile as she kisses back up your jaw, her lips finding yours again. The kiss slows as she slides her hands up your waist and grabs hold of your breasts, your fingers still tangled in the back of her hair.

A tiredness begins to wash over the both of you as you slowly kiss. Rebecca slides off of you and you both lay facing each other, your legs tangled together, your hand holding the back of her head, her hand resting on your cheek. She looks at you with tired eyes and a smile on her face, she kisses you once more and pulls you into her. You nuzzle into her, never feeling more safe in your life, and you both doze off.

You wake up the next morning, still in Rebecca's arms. Last night seems foggy, as you come to consciousness you remember what happened and you realize you're in Rebecca's bed, the both of you topless in your underwear. Your shifting wakes Rebecca up, she seems to go through the same process of remembering what happened last night.

"Oh shit." You say as you sit up.

"Oh my god." Rebecca sits up and looks over at you in shock. "I am so sorry, I- I don't- I didn't-"

You can tell she's starting to panic a little, she starts to get up and you hold onto her hand, she turns back and looks at you.

"Rebecca, it's okay." You motion for her to sit back next to you.

She slides her legs back under the duvet and sits next to you, holding the covers up over her chest.

You adjust in bed to face her more and you look into her eyes, you can tell she's afraid, worried that she ruined your friendship. You place your hand on her face and gently stoke her cheek with your thumb. She closes her eyes and relaxes a little into your hand, when her eyes open again they meet yours and you smile at her.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking last night." She says.

"You don't have to apologize, I honestly don't know which one of us started it, but I'm glad it happened."

Rebecca looks at you with a little confusion and surprise on her face.

"Rebecca, I like you, I really like you. And I know this could complicate what we already have going, but, I realized last night that I-" you pause and look away for a moment, you look back into her eyes, she's anxious to hear what you're going to say next. "I really started falling for you, I don't know when it started happening, but it hit me like a ton of bricks last night. And I'm happy about what happened last night, even if we didn't have sex. I don't regret it."

She looks at you for a moment with wonder in her eyes.

"Really?"

"Yes."

She leans in and kisses you, you feel the same sparks from last night when your lips meet. She pulls away and gently bites her lip, looking into your eyes.

"Is this insane?" She asks.

"Probably," you say with a smile. "But I'm willing to give it a shot. You're worth it."

"You're worth it too."

You pull her into you and kiss her again, your hand slides to the back of her neck and she wraps her arms around your waist and pulls you onto her. Your tongues swirl around each other as she holds onto you. The kiss slows and your lips gently meet, both of you smiling into the kisses. You bury your face into her neck as you hold each other.

"This is definitely going to complicate things." She says with a laugh.

You laugh and pick your head up and look into her eyes.

"But we'll figure it out." She says and kisses your nose.

You gently kiss her again and you both hold each other close.

"Wanna jump in the shower?" She asks.

"Yes, definitely." You giggle.

You both get out of bed and walk into the bathroom, Rebecca turns on the shower and she wraps her arms around you from behind. You both look into the mirror as steam fills the room. You look up at her and she looks down at you, you close the distance between your lips and kiss her again.

You never would have imagined that you would be here, kissing the beautiful blond woman from the café in her bathroom, but here you are.

"Maybe getting laid off wasn't such a bad thing after all." You say with a giggle.

Rebecca laughs and kisses you again.

"Maybe it wasn't, I think it worked out pretty well."

#rebecca welton x reader #hannah waddingham #rebecca welton #rebecca welton fanfic #ted lasso #ted lasso fic #willalove75 #wlw fanfic

[michaelsheens]

✨ GOMENS FIC RECS ✨

i asked for people's favorite fics and sharing is caring :)

(i included my own recs as well)

feel free to reblog and add more!

❤️ recommended by @oldzhishen ❤️

Crown of Thorns series by irisbleufic (rating G-E)

This series was never intended to be a series as such: I wrote "A Better Place" in the wake of rather accidentally getting to ask a certain question (What are Aziraphale and Crowley doing on the South Downs, anyway?) of both authors within a week of each other back in 2005 and actually getting an answer (Sharing a cottage), thinking it'd just be a happy little one-off. But something curious happened when my Good Omens Exchange 2010 assignment resulted in "The Walls, the Wainscot, and the Mouse." From that point onward, interest in this little 'verse slowly, but steadily picked up momentum, and I kept finding more stories to tell. Some of the characters that appear herein (Phillippa [Pippa] Morrison, the Mouse, Amanda [Mandy] Tomlin, Uriel, Raphael, et al.) first turned up in my one and only attempt at a second-Apocalypse dark mirror universe, A Crown of Stars (AO3 posting of same) and its follow-ups, which predates this series considerably. The two universes parallel each other, but this one is, for our purposes, post novel-canon and set in our reality. That's pretty much what you need to know. Thank you all for continuing to read and also for giving this project life. I'll continue to add stories and ficlets until I run out of ideas or until my heart stops (whichever comes first)! The current existing pieces are complete; the series overall is ongoing on an as-and-when basis, which means that the time between additions may be weeks or months or, in rare instances, up to a year.

Madman and a Fool by loserchildhotpants (rating E)

God considers Crowley's unyielding pining for Aziraphale, his acts during the End of the World, and his very genuine desire to protect Aziraphale, worth rewarding. She can't make him an Angel again, but She can nudge Aziraphale in the right direction. If nothing else, She'd really just like Crowley to stop using Her prayer inbox for endless soliloquies about Aziraphale.

Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm (rating T)

As soon as Aubrey Thyme, psychotherapist, had opened her office door and seen her new client, Anthony J. Crowley, sitting in her waiting area, she was observing and assessing him. At first glance, she paid attention to the following: --His clothing was expensive and stylish; --He wore very strange but noticeable cologne; --His relationship to the seat he occupied could only, very loosely, be described as “sitting;” --He looked angry; --He was wearing sunglasses. What Aubrey Thyme, a professional, thought, upon first seeing her new client was: you’re going to be a fun one, aren’t you?

A Home at the Beginning of the World by stereobone (rating E)

"Oh," Aziraphale says. "I think Crowley might have moved in with me."

For the Angel Who Has Everything by triedunture (rating E)

Crowley likes giving Aziraphale things. Whatever he wants, actually. Which, happily, includes Crowley himself, as it turns out.

I'm the treasure baby, I'm the prize by stereobone (rating E)

"Are you working for Mrs. Sandwich?" Nina asks. "No," Crowley says. "Well, yes. Well, define 'working'." -- Or, Crowley is very good at faking sex work, as it turns out.

🧡 recommended by @reloha 🧡

let me feel your heartbeat (grow faster, faster) by thehoyden (rating T)

Aziraphale saw him sometimes in all-staff meetings, sitting toward the front but off to the side, lounging against a wall. Even then, he’d had style—wings tipped in gold and face painted with gold flakes in the pattern of the first constellation he designed. He was amazing, and eye-catching, and it was no exaggeration to say that he did not know Aziraphale even existed.

You'll Find Something Waiting (Right There Where You Left It) by PrimalBeatsOurHearts (rating T)

"Lets go in the Garden, "You'll find something waiting" "Right there where you left it" "Lying upside down" ------------ Or What if Crowley was Erased from The Book Of Life?

Moving Forward While Standing Still by Justanothernerdsstuff (rating G)

“Uh, yeah, sure! Thanks,” They replied and walked away, not sure why this specific book was so important to the angry man, but they were £50 richer, so they didn’t really care. Crowley flipped through the book, stalling making the decision to go into the bookshop to confront Muriel. He turned to walk away, stopped, groaned, and stalked his way into the bookshop. *** Crowley finds himself at Give Me Coffee Or Give Me Death a month after Aziraphale left to run Heaven, and ends up back at the bookshop, something he never planned to do again.

7 minutes in heaven by waddlesthejoghog (rating T)

"If Crowley and Aziraphale couldn’t figure it out, Muriel would have to take a different approach. It wasn’t enough to put them in the same location. They had to plant some seeds of conversation. They had to come to a conclusion naturally, but with a push." OR Muriel reads every book in the shop, then comes up with a plan to get Aziraphale and Crowley back together.

In the Pocket of the Universe by indieninja92 (rating E)

Immediately after the church scene (and The Slow Zoom of Homosexual Panic), Aziraphale takes Crowley out for dinner in the only place still open in the middle of an air raid. Feelings closely follow.

How to Run a Bookshop by IneffableDoll (rating T)

Muriel has been running Aziraphale’s bookshop ever since his promotion Upward. Mr. Crowley seems intent on sticking around, and Muriel has no idea what to do about that. Then, Muriel stumbles upon a collection of sketchbooks full of a familiar redhead. Did…Aziraphale draw these? Has Mr. Crowley seen them? * (“No. No. Put that back.” “Oh, but isn’t it cute? A little cup with wings! I don’t suppose it can fly like those birds can? I don’t see what a cup needs wings for, really.” “You can’t use that.” “Of course not! These wings are too small for me, and I have my own if I want to get around.” “Wh – okay, first off, you can’t go flying about London. You’ll freak people out, cause a bunch of chaos – actually, you know what, do what you like. Heaven if I care. But don’t touch that mug.” “Is it dangerous?” “…No. But it’s not yours. And it’s not polite to use something that’s not yours. Not very angelic of you.” “Oh! Of course. I knew that.”)

💛 recommended by @cheeekycharchar 💛

Together We're Golden series by Guardian_Rose (rating G-T)

Crowley & Aziraphale move to a small town, into their own little cottage but it's not without its difficulties.

True Disaster by NuriaSchnee (rating E)

After Crowley saves him in 1941, Aziraphale realises he's fallen in love with the demon. Scared this dangerous feeling of his will cause problems to his friend, he tries to break their relationship. However, his plan to push the demon away fails and they end up admitting their feelings to each other. To be able to be together and keep it a secret, Crowley stops time every time they meet. However brilliant this seems at first, it doesn't take long to backfire, opening new wounds and raising more barriers between them.

Nanny Knows Best by DictionaryWrites (rating M)

Being a nanny, that should be simple. Simple. Easy as pie. Crowley wished that were true.

💚 recommended by yours truly 💚

Strange Moons series by racketghost (rating G-E)

“At least they were together for a time,” Crowley says, staring at the lit end of his cigarette, “maybe that’s enough.”

tales from a bookshop by Rizandace (rating T)

Post-season-two. Crowley's moping, Aziraphale wants to fix things, and turns out, there's enough blame to go around. ----- "You're being ridiculous." Crowley very nearly falls over. Like, actually. He very nearly loses balance for no reason at all and tumbles to the sidewalk next to his car. He’s been playing Aziraphale’s voice in his head for weeks, he’s been trying very hard to drown out the sound of it, in fact, and now suddenly, abruptly— “What are you doing here,” is all he can think to say. He whirls around, and there he is. on Crowley’s right, standing there like he’d never left. Where he belongs, Crowley’s mind helpfully supplies. He wishes he could punch himself in the brain, knock the thoughts right on out of there.

Meanwhile the World Goes On by lineslines (rating G)

Crowley looked at him. He was still wearing his suit, there was tartan in it, but it had become polished, the worn edges returned to pristine, boring perfection. He looked prim. Proper. Perhaps this hurt most of all. (Crowley is on earth, Aziraphale is not. Meanwhile the world goes on. Plans, great and possibly ineffable, are set into motion. They are--always, inevitably--drawn back together. Long before reconciliation, long before they can bear it. The only thing they can bear less is staying apart. Oh, and Heaven seems to have misplaced Jesus.)

So You Need To Get Into A.Z. Fell & Co.; Now What? (A Guide For Unfortunate Bookworms) by c4llistrad (rating G)

London’s antique enthusiasts and rare lit nerds alike know that if you’re looking for a specific vintage or antique book, you have a good chance of ending up in A.Z. Fell & Co. as a last resort. And if you’ve ever been in (or are currently in) this predicament, you know how much of an absolute nightmare it is trying to even get in the door. Luckily, this handy guide, the fruit of a months-long collaborative effort to create the perfect formula for gaming the A.Z. Fell system, will tell you everything you need to know, complete with a comprehensive breakdown of what, exactly, the opening hours are. Compiled by pageknight and inky of the Rare Antique Forums.

Like Icarus Before Me by Arokel (rating T)

If Aziraphale were a Good person, a virtuous person, he wouldn’t have taken Crowley’s hand at all. Aziraphale muses on the nature of Goodness, and finally shares those musings with Crowley.

It's Something Like a Corkscrew by Arokel (rating G)

“How do you live with this… this inevitability? This knowledge of what’s to come?”

So let us melt by Arokel (rating G)

Of the two of them, Crowley thinks Aziraphale has held on to more of his faculties than Crowley has, but then again, he is putting off angelic heat like a particularly virtuous furnace.

So Much to be Consoled as to Console by Arokel (rating T)

“What are you,” Crowley drawled, “the patron saint of queer kids?” A series of lost souls over the centuries who prayed, whether they knew it or not, to the Angel Aziraphale.

Factory Settings by Anonymous (rating T)

Crowley gets reinstated as an angel.

such surpassing brightness by bibliocratic (rating G)

The revelation that Aziraphale might have been in love with him for thousands of years is surprising. The fact that literal books have been written on the subject comes as even more of a shock.

knowing this will I reach for you by Aria (rating E)

It wasn't as though his interest in Aziraphale was entirely appropriate. Of course it wasn't bloody appropriate. He was consorting with the Enemy, nothing about it was appropriate.

The Sandford Flower Show by Mussimm (rating E)

Crowley had waited six thousand years, kept it all in check. But this was the slipperiest slope he’d ever set foot on and as soon as he’d indulged in a few discretionary acts of kindness he was falling face first into pining, tumbling into flirting, about to dislocate his knees on the sharp rocks of intimacy. Was this really it? What he had waited six thousand years for? A stupid flower show? Aziraphale wasn’t pulling away from him. Maybe… maybe this time he wouldn’t? Maybe they’d hold hands again. Maybe tonight with a bottle of merlot in them he’d finally work up the courage and just kiss him and he wouldn’t pull away. The very moment he’d thought it he spotted the problem at the flower show.

you knew my name on sight by brinnanza (rating G)

“This wasn’t me, you know,” Crowley says, the words out of his mouth before he’s made the conscious choice to utter them. “Not just the library, but the whole civil war. You know me; I’ve mostly been getting drunk at Bacchanals.” “I know,” says Aziraphale.

The Longest Night series by charlottemadison (rating T-E)

The night the Apocalypse doesn't happen, an angel and a demon share a bus bench on the way home to face their fates. This is the story of their evening spun out line by line, all the little moments that carried them through the night they knew might be their last.

Witness the Fall by Waifine (rating G)

Crowley never talked about his time as an angel. Aziraphale never asked. But when Hell sends Crowley a package containing his most painful memories, it is Aziraphale who is plunged into the nightmare history of when his beloved friend, the angel who had once been Crowley, was hurled from the Heavens into the bowels of Hell.

An Angel who did not so much Fall In Love as Settle Into It Gradually by TheLadyZephyr (rating G)

Crowley was standing in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets, looking a little lost. Aziraphale eyed the distance between them. Five steps. Five steps, and six thousand years, and a battlefield spanning an eternity. The story of the little moments over the millennia that shape an angel’s regard for a demon, and the way he slowly, with great reluctance but inevitable surety, falls in love.

This Soul Outstreaming by Rend_Herring (rating E)

“Why did you come here?” Aziraphale interrupts. “Why do you keep doing this?” All the saving, he means, all the chasing after Aziraphale he does. It can’t only be that he’s not keen to endure a replacement. That can’t be it, not anymore. He’s going to get himself in trouble, and then it’ll be Aziraphale’s fault. Crowley’s mouth shuts with a click. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, reaches for the handle of the fork and taps his fingertips against it before setting his hands in his lap. When he speaks, it’s very soft. “Don’t you know?” he asks. Aziraphale, unnaccustomed to his heart refusing to translate why it throbs with such haste, shakes his head.

a lighthouse (burning) by books-and-omens (rating M)

In good weather, one can see the lighthouse at the Rock from the shore: a dot on the horizon, a distant star flashing red and white and red again. It’s been dark for a fortnight, of course—ever since the incident that every newspaper had breathlessly written about, that the paper-boys on the corners had shouted themselves hoarse over. This is where Aziraphale is headed: it is his duty, after all, to find out what happened, to make sure that the beacon can be safely lit once again. He does not expect Crowley to follow him to the windswept isle, to the lonely lighthouse at what could just as well be the edge of the world. Crowley follows him anyway.

paint the skies by ToEdenandBackAgain (rating G)

“This was one of yours, wasn’t it?” Aziraphale remarks casually, and Crowley feels like the warmth of the room has been sucked into space. A cold, uneasy feeling begins to creep into his gut. One of yours thrown out so casually. One of yours said like he... like he knew “What.”

Good Endings by WyvernQuill (rating T)

A Narrative of Certain Events following the Ending of the World (Except Not Quite), as vaguely hinted at in The Slapdash and Not Very Helpful Prophetic Tidbit of Agnes Nutter, Witch (And Matchmaker.) "Their lives are in horrible, terrible danger that only we can save them from!" Anathema held up the Prophetic Tidbit. "It says so. Right here." Madame Tracy peered at the page. Raised a meaningful eyebrow. "Dearie, as a woman of, well, considerable experience, I really don't think that's what 'the lyttle Deathe' means in this context..." "Huh." Anathema squinted. Flipped the page. Read another bit. "....huh." (Or, alternatively: Eight - give or take - matchmakers trying really, really hard, honest; two clueless ethereal/occult beings mutually pining their endless days away; and one witch, who can't leave well enough alone when it comes to matters of the heart, no matter how many centuries ago she died.)

If We've Got Nothing (We've Got Us) by Kedreeva (rating G)

Two months after the failed apocalypse Aziraphale finds the first dark feather growing in his wings. A story about middle grounds, ineffable plans, and what happens when the world doesn't end.

lit in the darkness by ToEdenandBackAgain (rating M)

Aziraphale returns to Crowley's flat for the night after Armageddon. After all, it's hardly the first time they've shared sleeping arrangements. Or: Times throughout history Crowley and Aziraphale have shared a bed.

💙 recommended by @vonlipwig 💙

Petrichor & Parchment by MrsNoggin (rating E)

“Mr. Crowley, I presume?” Aziraphale asked in lieu of an introduction, which was not forthcoming. The guy hadn’t even removed his sunglasses. Oh God, he had a tattoo on his face. Aziraphale wasn’t one to judge, but… what kind of gardener had a snake tattoo on his face?

💜 recommended by @darthbreezy 💜

post-professional endeavours by darcylindbergh (rating T)

Retirement is a four-letter word.

💗 recommended by @thegeekyartist 💗

Fire, Bridges, and other Sensible Idioms by KiaraMGrey (rating E)

To: The person who stopped the washer in the middle of my wash cycle and took my clothes out just to wash your own… You are an arsehole! Unfortunately for you, so am I. You can find your wet clothes frozen outside in the snow. If you have any problems with this, come see me in 301. or Aziraphale has a new neighbor, and they certainly don't start off on the right foot.

❤️ recommended by @weiwnxian ❤️

Any Other Name by mostlyanything19 (rating T)

“The Angel of the Eastern Gate.” Crawly grins. “What’s your name, anyway? You never said.” “Oh...” Apologies, Aziraphael almost says, but then he doesn’t. That would be taking things a bit too far. This is still the Enemy. “Aziraphael.” “Aziraphael,” repeats Crawly—or tries to, because halfway through the word he chokes. Quite badly. Or: What if Aziraphale’s name was originally "Aziraphael", in keeping with the conventional spelling and pronunciation of angel names, but because of its divine nature Crowley is physically unable to say it out loud.

#under a read more cause it's a lot #thanks for sending stuff in <33 #fanfic #good omens

[vintagepresley]

The Doctor Will See You Now.. Part Three

Pairing: John Carpenter x Reader

Word Count: 2,712 words

Warnings: SMUTSMUTSMUT18+ Breeding kink, pregnancy kink, breastfeeding kink, nursing, fingering, some nipple play, tiny bit of dirty talk, implied age gap, naive reader, some fluff.

Author's Notes: Well, here it is guys, the last part of the Dr. Carpenter fic. I hope you've all enjoyed this! It wouldn't of been possible with all my little horny anons. This may not be for everyone because of the breastfeeding part, lol. So fair warning, it is a good portion of it. Anyway, this was a ton of fun writing these three parts. Maybe down the line I'll write some more John Carpenter stories, if anyone wants it. Enjoy! Possible spelling errors because I'm too lazy to fix it.

"I'm just warmin' ya up, baby.."

After a few more scheduled visits with Dr. Carpenter the both of you had discovered that you were finally pregnant. He was completely overjoyed to find out the news and surprisingly you were pretty excited as well. Once you had started to show that was when things became difficult, there was a lot of talk and rumors floating around the town. People were starting to think a little differently about the good doctor not wanting their daughters and wives to be alone with him. Things for you seemed to be even worse because your parents disapproved immensely and because you had gotten pregnant out of wedlock. John tried speaking with them and even saying he had planned to marry you, but that wasn’t good enough for them. The sinful act was already done. They had kicked you out but John took you in and moved you into his place where the two of you would raise your children together. He didn’t care about the talk that went around the town. You were going to be a family now with your new bundle of joy, the first of many. He liked to remind you that you would carry more of his children as soon as you were cleared to have more after giving birth. He didn’t give you a choice when it came to being a mother and now a little housewife for him. But you didn’t mind it one bit. John made you feel special, something you had never felt before and all you wanted to do was please him and take care of him. 

You were six months pregnant by this point and everything hurt. Your belly was so big and swollen, your hips wider and your breasts bigger than before. From the looks of you, it appeared you could’ve been pregnant with twins. That was John’s observation at first and it wasn’t until you felt more than one baby kicking that you both soon realized that you were in fact pregnant with twins. This pleased John because that’s exactly what he wanted. He grew smug about getting you knocked up with twins even gloating about it and wanting to try for triplets next time. You’d just smile and playfully roll your eyes as he spoke. You felt drastically more pregnant than usual and it was so uncomfortable, but what made things worse were your hormones. You were so horny almost all the time and if you weren’t horny you were crying over every little thing. As much as you wanted to have sex you just couldn’t bring yourself to actually do it because of how tired your body felt. You felt bad because you didn’t want to deprive John of having sex especially seeing how in love he was with the changes of your body and how much it turned him on. But he was clever enough to come up with some ways to give you some relief while getting what he wanted as well. You sat up in bed reading one of your fashion magazines in your maternity babydoll nightgown when John had come out of the bathroom from his shower after a long day of work. You peered over your magazine over at him as you watched as he got dressed and you giggled softly, capturing your bottom lip between your teeth. 

He raised an eyebrow and smirked at the sound of your giggle. “What?” he said softly as he slipped on his pajamas. 

“Nothing..” you said innocently with another giggle slipping past your lips. 

“Mhm.. Honey?” he hummed. 

“Yes?” you responded with a smile. 

“You up for practicin’ some more of those breathing exercises I taught ya?” he smiled as he sat down on the bed beside you. You raised an eyebrow at his words because you didn’t think there was more to it. You knew that while giving birth that you had to breathe in and out. What more could he have to teach you? But you weren’t one to argue with him, he was a doctor after all. So, if he felt you needed to practice some more you were going to do just that. You nodded at his words with a smile. 

“Sure honey.” you hummed. 

He smirked and climbed further onto the bed and you set your magazine down and scooted up a bit into the position and he moved to sit behind you and you leaned against him as his legs wrapped around yours and his arms slipped around your waist while his hands rested on your swollen belly and his fingertips brushed lightly against it. He kissed along your cheek slowly as his lips brushed up against your right ear. You giggled softly as you placed your hands over his and you tilted your head up a bit to look up at him with a smirk playing on your lips as he placed light kisses along your ear. “This isn’t part of the breathing exercise..” you mumbled softly as you leaned further into him and into his touch. 

“I’m just warmin’ ya up, baby..” he whispered. 

You bit down on your bottom lip and a soft sensual noise escaped your lips from his little kisses. He smirked at the delightful sound and his lips hovered near your ear that the feeling of his breathing sent a shiver down your spine. He raised a hand up to cup your face lovingly “Now take slow deep breaths for me, honey. Then exhale slowly through your mouth..” he whispered softly as he ran the pad of his thumb against your soft lips and you could feel yourself getting turned on by this that you almost took his thumb into your mouth before he instructed you on what to do. You swallowed harshly and nodded at his words as you slowly began to breathe deep and then exhaled sharply and you did this over and over again. The pad of his thumb continued to trace over your lips and then down along your neck and collarbone which caused your breathing to increase and a soft moan slipped from your lips as you felt his wandering hand rub against your sensitive breasts and then gilded its way down toward your stomach. “Good girl.. Keep your breathing up..” he uttered softly into your ear. Your eyes fluttered shut as you continued to breathe for him and your body nearly jolted when you felt his hand move along your right thigh and you shifted your body ever so slightly. As you exhaled your breath came out shakily as you felt his hand creeping closer to the heat between your legs and your body tensing up at the anticipation of it all. 

“J-John.. This-This isn’t part of the exercise..” you said between each breath. 

A smirk formed on his lips and his teeth grazed your right ear. “Who’s the doctor here? Hm? Do as you’re told..” he whispered. You swallowed harshly as you inhaled deeply and then let out a sharply and long exhale as you felt all the hairs on your neck stand up from his demanding words. 

“Y-Yes sir..” you responded obediently as you continued to breathe in and out deeply and loudly. You gasped when you felt his fingertips moving against your clothed pussy and he smirked when he felt how wet your panties were already. He tucked your panties to the side and his fingers buried between your velvety wet folds causing you practically melt into him as your body relaxed and you let out the most embarrassing moan emitting from your lips. The pad of his index and middle finger rubbing against your sensitive clit and you whimpered between your exhales trying to keep your breathing just like he wanted, but he was making it hard. You reached up and placed your hand against the back of his neck and tugged at the dark strands of his hair. Your toes curled when felt his fingers push inside of you causing your slick to drip down his fingers as he forced his fingers knuckle deep and you cried out his name as soft moans escaped you. His fingers pumped inside of you slowly causing you to become even wetter and by this point you had forgotten all about your breathing and your hand tugged harder on his hair and he let out a low groan and he pumped his fingers faster, using his thumb to stimulate your clit at the same time. Your eyes rolled back as your breathing became heavy. 

“Oh fuck, baby..” you whimpered softly as his fingers penetrated you. His thumb pressed up against your clit and rubbed against it in circular motions as his fingers continued to stretch open your pussy. He brought his hand up to squeeze your breasts in his tight grasp and you let out a soft groan because they were so tender and sensitive to the touch and the harder he squeezed it that’s when milk began to leak from your nipples and stain your nightgown. You felt the front of your nightgown become damp and you glance down confused. “I-I think something is wrong, baby.” you said softly. John felt how wet the fabric he was squeezing became and he raised an eyebrow when he noticed you were lactating, which stopped him from fingering you and slipped his fingers out of you. A soft chuckle escaping his lips because he forgot to mention that you’d start lactating during your pregnancy. 

“Nothin’ is wrong, honey. Your breasts are just full of milk. But I can help you with that.. It’ll make them less sore. You trust me, don't ya?” he hummed. You nodded at his words with a smile. 

“Of course I do, doctor.” you giggled. 

“Good girl.. No point in wastin’ perfectly good milk, right?” he said with a grin. 

You nodded with a smile. “Right.” you hummed. 

John smirked and kissed along the side of your neck slowly as he slipped your nightgown off. “Turn around, baby.” he muttered. You carefully and slowly turned around and he helped you as he placed you on top of him having your thighs resting on either side of him. You felt a bit self-conscious about how your body looked but he soon made all those feelings go away from the way he looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. He licked over his lips at the sight of your leaking breasts and he cupped them in his hands which made a soft groan escape your lips because they were so full and he caused more milk to squirt out. His fingers pinched and tugged at your sensitive nipples only causing more milk to squirt out and making a mess over the two of you, you bit down your bottom lip trying to suppress your whimpers as he played with your nipples making everything so stimulating that you could feel yourself get even wetter. He was so turned on by the very sight of your breasts leaking all ove him.

“Mm.. I’m gonna make you feel so much better..” he mumbled. 

You captured your bottom lip between your teeth, slipping your arms around his shoulders and slowly rocked your hips against him feeling how hard he was for you. He reached down taking his cock into his hands and slowly guided himself into you and then slammed you down onto his cock which caused a loud gasp to escape your slightly parted lips. “John.. Fuck..” you mewled quietly. He rocked your hips in a slow motion as you gradually rode him soft whimpers escaping you as you watched him kiss along your left breast as his hand kneaded and played with your right one pinching your nipple between his fingers and milk dripped down his hand. You inhaled sharply the moment he latched onto your left nipple and your eyes rolled back as you groaned from the slight pain as he began to suck slowly, nursing from you. Your hands tangled into his hair as you tilted your head back moaning softly as you rocked your hips faster, slightly bouncing on his cock and he groaned lowly but it coming out muffled around your nipple. He grazed his teeth around the senstive bud and flicked it between his tongue before he began to suck faster. You could feel your breasts being relieved from the pressure of them being so full. 

Being pregnant and dealing with your hormones made everything more sensitive for you that the pleasure of him fucking you and nursing from you made everything feel so much better. There was something sensual about you breastfeeding him that turned you on even more. That made the pleasure even more stimulating for the both of you. Your hands tugged and pulled at his raven colored hair as you swiftly moved faster on his cock causing the both of you to moan together; though his sounds came out muffled. His hands tightened around your widen hips, squeezing tight and slapping his hand against your ass as he slightly began to thrust his cock inside of you, the two of you moving together at the same pace as he switched over to your right breast suckling from it and gulping down your milk. You were pushing one another closer toward your climax and it seemed like the harder he sucked the more it pushed your orgasm to build in the pit of your stomach. His big hands grabbed your ass tight and slammed you down onto his cock causing louder moans and whimpers to escape you and your eyes rolled shut as the pressure was building within you until you couldn’t hold on any longer anymore. You felt your body tense up and it felt like your whole world was spinning as you came hard all over his cock and you could feel him pulsing inside of you as his hips bucked and he let out a loud groan as he started to cum, filling you up with his warm seed. 

He kept his cock inside of you when he finished, feeling your walls tighten around him as his cock throbbed for you. You whimpered cutely as your face buried into his soft hair. He released your nipple and looked up at you with lips covered in your milk as he smirked. He completely drained your breasts that droplets leaked from your breasts. “From now on I’ll nurse from ya, because we don’t want to waste any of that perfectly good milk of yours, honey” he said softly. He grabbed a hold of your face in his hand to make you look at him and you looked at him innocently with a smile as you wiggled your hips against him as his cock stayed snug inside of you. He smirked, staring at you silently for a moment. “Y’know I’m goin’ to keep ya knocked up any chance I get, right baby?” he said softly. You let out a soft giggle and nodded at his words as your fingers twirled around strands of his hair. You didn’t mind one bit because he worshiped your pregnant body. You loved every bit of the attention he gave to you. You cupped his face in your hands and gave his lips a soft loving kiss. “I’m gonna take care of ya and our children, honey. I promise.” he whispered. 

“I know and I’ll give you as many babies as you want, baby.” you hummed against his soft lips. He smiled at your words and giving you another kiss before he reached down to slip his cock out of you and he carefully lifted you up and laid you down beside him and tugged the the blankets over the two of you and slipped his arms around you, pulling you into his embrace as he placed soft kisses along your shoulder as his face buried between your breasts. You snuggled right into him and smiled happily as you ran your fingers through his hair. Despite how your relationship may have started and all the judgment the two of you have received; you were in love with him  and he was in love with you. There was no doubt in your mind that John Carpenter was the man for you.

*

Tagging: @generoustreemystic @arianatheangel-girl @kendralavon7 @18lkpeters @be-my-ally @prompted-wordsmith @mrspresleybutler3591 @jfkkenndy @samfangirls @vintageshanny @airyx0x0 @astralheart21 @galaxygirl453 @prayerstopresley @iloveelvis @marriedtopresley @kingdomforapony @peaceloveelvis @elvispedro @flwrs4aust @honey6578 @aliengoth3 @eddiesgorlie @literally-just-elvis-fics

#elvis presley #john carpenter #dr. John carpenter #change of habit #paging dr carpenter #elvis smut #elvis fluff #elvis x you #elvis x y/n #elvis x reader #elvis imagine #elvis fanfic #change of habit fanfic #john carpenter fanfic