#LOOOONG POST

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

literally made so many memes tonight that i hit the image limit so i got a head start on the next batch (3/?)

#suicide mention / #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf movie #fnaf edit #connie edits #mine #connie makes fnaf memes #long post #LOOOONG post #sorry #death mention / #body horror /

[aka-patsy]

12x02 Spyfall Part Two

#dwedit #doctor who #doctorwhoedit #13th doctor #thirteenth doctor #jodie whittaker #tvedit #*miscdw #loooong post

[leaves-lilies-and-esther]

Why being against trans rights as a feminist is bull

Generally I fall pretty neatly into line with the radfem line of thinking about things (anti surrogacy, anti sex industry, pro choice, anti beauty industry etc). And I don't think that radical feminists who disagree with me on this are evil or anything, but I do believe that it shouldn't be a priority and that this whole effort will be remembered badly.

"But the bathrooms-"

Letting trans women into female bathrooms does not increase sexual assault. According to Media Matters, "...the fear is baseless- completely unsupported by years of evidence from states that already have non-discrimination laws on the books." To give examples:

Rhode Island reported "no increase in sex crimes due to 2001 law"

Karen Richards of the Vermont Human Rights commission said she is "not aware" of any problems from a 2001 law

Jim O'Neill said he was "unaware of any sexual assault as the result of the CT gender identity or expression law" in Connecticut

If you search "Debunking the Big Myth about Transgender Inclusive Bathrooms" from Media Matters you can see the other twelve state level examples

There's also a very well written article from Time called "Transgender Bathroom: Advocates Say 'Predator' is a Myth" . They detail several locations like New York City and California which protect trans rights without seeing a spike in sexual assaults, the fact that school officials and police departments have not seen a spike either, and that several organizations dedicated to stopping violence against women all agree that bathroom rights aren't a threat.

Moreover, according to Vox's article "Anti-transgender bathroom hysteria, explained"- all of the incidences commonly cited of men dressing up as women or posing as a woman in order to commit sexual assault happened before a non-discrimination bathroom law was passed. Meaning that these laws don't cause sh*t.

But to add onto another point, there's a very good reason why we cannot simply say that women's bathrooms must be defined by sex alone. Which is that we end up exposing transgender or nonbinary youth to extremely avoidable violence instead.

According to an article from Harvard entitled "transgender teens with restricted bathroom access at higher risk of sexual assault", quote, "Transgender and non-binary teens face greater sexual assault in schools that prevent them from using bathrooms or locker rooms consistent with their gender identity." 36% of trans or nonbinary youth with restricted access had been sexually assaulted in the past year. In no world is that an acceptable number. Not only does restricting bathroom access not solve anything for cis women, it actively inflicts male violence on transgender women.

And even in the outlandish world where this wasn't enough of a reason, it also leads to cis women being policed on their appearance and how feminine they present in order to avoid looking trans. In Las Vegas a woman named Jay was kicked out because they mistook her for trans according to Advocate article 'cis woman mistaken as transgender records being berated in bathroom'. Aimee Toms in Danbury was similarly harassed, as was Jessica Rush in Dallas. There's several videos in the Vox article "Women are getting harassed in bathrooms because of anti-transgender hysteria". And guess what? This sort of policing what a cis woman can look like is only going to get worse as people continue to advocate against trans women in bathrooms.

And women's sports-

Any physical advantage that transgender people have in sports goes away several years after medical transition. According to the NBC article "trans women retain athletic edge after a year of hormone therapy"

(1) "For the Olympic, the elite level, I'd say probably two years is more realistic than one year" - namely, trans people have standard hormone levels if they wait two years after medical transition. "After two years, Roberts told NBC News, 'they were fairly equivalent to cisgender women'".

There were some limitations to the Roberts study, but there's also a 2015 Harper study backing this up.

(3) Joanna Harper, a medical physicist in Portland, already ran a study on this. "...found that trans women ran at least 10 percent slower after beginning hormones. And, relatively speaking, they did no better against cisgender female runners than they previously done against cisgender men".

Namely, as long as there's been a medical transition for several years, it's still a totally fair competition.

But laws which ban transgender women from sports have had the incidental effect of allowing for state-sanctioned genital inspections on minors. This sounds fake, right? But in Ohio Republicans have passed a bill which "...has a verification requirement, if someone is 'accused' or 'suspected' of being trans... she must go through evaluations of her external and internal genitalia, testosterone levels and genetic makeup." And believe it or not, they only had one transgender girl who was an athlete in high school. One! This is according to the Ohio Capital Journal's article "GOP passes bill aiming to root out 'suspected' transgender female athletes with genital inspection."

Similarly, Florida has just passed a ban on transgender students in sports in April 2021, with provisions similar to the Ohio law. "A dispute regarding a student's sex shall be resolved by the student's school or institution by requesting that the student provide a health examination... provides for 'routine sports physical examination' of students' reproductive organs, genetic makeup, or testosterone levels." This is according to Changing America, titled "Florida's new ban on transgender students in sports would allow schools to subject minors to genital inspections."

I don't know about you, but as someone who has enjoyed track, swim team, and basketball all through educational institutions- I don't want the government in my pants.

Beyond the creepy implications of the state demanding invasive inspections on literal children, this also goes back to the point I made on bathrooms above- that when we take spaces away trans people, we take spaces away from any woman or girl who society deems as presenting too 'masculine'.

As feminists we can absolutely support trans rights without compromising our integrity. And not only can we, we should.

Edited August 24, 2023: I wanted to add a section about the provisions of these bills for literal genital inspections. I regret that it wasn't in the original, but I remembered these articles earlier and thought that it was important to add here.

The other thing I did later the same day was take out the part referencing women like Caster Semenya competing in the Olympics and being removed because of high testosterone levels. Someone has kindly pointed out that these are intersex women, which the original article I had read referred to as cis. I feel that intersex women in athletics deserve their own discussion, and I haven't (a) read enough on the issue or (b) learned enough about the intersex community as a whole to take part.

#radical feminism #gender critical #feminism #liberal feminism #transgender #trans rights #women's rights #long post #loooong post #radblr

[dizzyscabiosa]

✔️ first proper conversation with Kenzo ✔️ unexpected visit from Kenzo's dad??

Beginning // Previous // Next

extras under cut

#loooong post #to make up for the last one #and for disappearing for weeks #oops #ts4 #sims 4 #simblr #ts4 gameplay #ts4 storytelling #ts4 screenshots #my stuff #my stories #forgotten dreams #kenzo cordero #payton hester #abby damico #mason kendrick

[dracanianwyvern]

Fuck it. Long post incoming, which hopefully will be my final shit on this whole drama. Below the cut, read if you want.

While yes, you made the tpc tags kerf, that does not mean you can try and gatekeep somebody out of another tag they made. If you don't want to see somebody in a tag you made, just block them. You do not have to gatekeep a tag of a community they are in, it just comes off as rude.

Also, this next bit is directed at both you and cintagonisupset, if you did not want a debate over something you posted make it clear on the post otherwise others will debate with you about it. Also, you both intruded on a conversation between two blogs. Yes it was on one of your posts, but you were not involved in the conversation. You could of handled this situation very differently, but you didn't.

You two instigated the whole drama just by wording a request wrong and then going out of your way to harass those with a different opinion to you, while yes you most likely had your reasonings behind it... it most likely isn't a good enough reason to have done what you did.

Next section? Cintagonisupset, this is mainly about you now.

From what I've heard, you've been an absolute dick to a multitude of people and from the confidence of others speaking up from this current drama, they're speaking up. Not to mention, you haven't given your side of these new issues. So, I cannot even be in your side for all this drama from the hole you have dug yourself into here. Karma is collecting your debts, and OH BOY will it be messy. You did this to yourself, nobody can help you now.

Dulcetmoony, don't think your getting off the hook either.

You had said you were willing to talk it out with those you affected, only to apologise and then block goldy before they could respond. You weren't involved from the start, yet you jumped in anyway to defend your friends. I get that, but you could have been WAY MORE civil about it. But you weren't, and here we are instead.

I'm willing to tear into myself here too., I know I'm not above what I've contributed.

I got involved, I sent an anon hate ask which I still regret even though the one I sent it too has forgiven me for it. I got involved by sending the information to prettybeegkittykat via some asks, therefore "stirring the pot" [captain-kretsnik's words, not mine] more then it already had been. I caused myself to loose a mutual over this, however in my eyes? I shouldn't be blaming myself for a good portion of this, yet I am. Plus, I had been planning on creating art for captain-kretsnik at some point. Never got round to it.

Finally, a message to all involved.

This could have been handled alot better then it was, but now? Now we've got to deal with the pit we all helped dig, and karma will not let it go by cleanly for some. This is one deep pit, and it appears it might go deeper. I've already tried to fill in my contribution to this hole, both with the two past posts relating to it and now this one. I hope you all can do the same.

#loooong post #vent ish #tpc drama

[randomdoodlesgobrr]

Catching up on doodles for a fanfic I'm writing in hopes of regaining my motivation to write again. Chapter 12:

This one is also a bit decent. I call it: "What the Eyes Perceive"

Aaand back to being a mess...

+ bonus "Wing Tamer"

Why am I making a ferocious beast of a wyvern act like a cat?

I want a cat...

Also, here are different versions of the first pic in case the snow or bbq hat doesn't vibe with you.

And maybe someone wants to see this. I dunno.

I'm trying to replay Engage on an emulator this time, with some funky mods and doodads. Hopefully, that helps inspire me to write.

That being said, school did start again...

Oh well. Thanks for reading this far! Have a great day!

#i like ivy a normal amount #wait what does normal mean again? #ivy fire emblem #fire emblem #fire emblem wyvern #hortensia fire emblem #doodles #alear #what else do i tag #loooong post

[the-all-seeing-l]

Theory: The Witch's Identity (+ general theories about the story)

Heavy spoilers for everything up until episode 4, you've been warned.

It's Sybil.

Ok, so this one's fairly obvious, but since I haven't seen anyone talk about it yet, I thought I'd put it out there.

First off, 'The Witch' refers to the person Kaneeka was representing in the ghost sequence in episode 3, since that's what the mysterious figure locked away in the estate portrayed by Avery calls her. If you have the Book Smart trait equipped, you can also note the following about the environment in her scene:

Tabitha waves this off pretty quickly, which may or may not be because she's working with Sybil (remember: Tabitha was buying tea at Sybil's store in episode 2 even though she stated in the first episode that she orders all her food online, went alone with her to the backroom, not letting us tag along, and Sybil was the one she called when trapped in the ghost's domain).

The track that plays during her scene is also called 'The Witch' on the OST.

The importance of the Witch's character is emphasized during the ghost sequence. She, alongside the mysterious person locked away inside the manor, is the only person whose identity we don't know.

There are two instances in which you can ask Tabitha about who she thinks the Witch might be. If you ask her the first chance you get, she seems genuinely interested in finding out her identity. If you wait until the second time, she waves it off as her just being an old person long gone and therefore unimportant. She might have figured out it was Sybil by then (therefore trying to hide her identity due to their alliance), since she also calls her 'her' and 'lady', even though we can't technically know the Witch's gender at that point, since she isn't referred to by anyone until later, and Alexis played the part of a person of the opposite gender, so the stand-ins are no absolute way to tell the gender of the person portrayed. Tabitha might have just been assuming she was female because of gendered speech patterns though.

It's also explicitly stated that the Witch is not to be trusted:

(You can say this with the Street Smart trait.)

Kaneeka stating she felt powerful when asked about what it felt like being possessed while everyone else (besides, again, Avery) felt angry, sad or scared also suggests that she's the odd one out.

That out of the way, everyone probaby got a little weary of Sybil by the end of episode 3, when she was able to free the possessed people from the ghost's influence and seemed to have a little too much experience in the area, then continued on to persistently wave off any questions.

There's a lot of evidence linking Sybil to the Witch. This is what I've been able to gather on my two playthroughs of the game (one with Street Smart/ Keen Eye, one with Talk to Animals/ Book Smart):

The posture:

Sybil's theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMzod_KsIt0 The Witch's theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J36T1BUA9Y0 If you listen to them back to back, the Witch's theme sounds like a slower, warped version of Sybil's.

The Witch is portrayed by Sybil's daughter. The ghost seemed to assign the people it possessed the roles that would fit them most. The best example for this is Oscar, the only parent in the group, who also played the part of Charlie's father (you can even point that out during his scene).

The Witch and Sybil both frequently address people as 'dear'. As I mentioned before, Tabitha comments that the Witch seems to be an old person, judging by the way she talks. I know Sybil technically shouldn't have been alive back then, and she looks fairly young in the family portrait in the tea room (you can see it at the end of episode 1), but if she really is a witch, she might be capable of anything. There's of course also the possibility that Sybil is just a descendant of the Witch, but because of the incredibly similar mannerisms, I'm going with it being the same person for now.

If you hang out with Kaneeka on Wednesday and ask her what the deal with her mother and tea is, this is what she says:

Kaneeka also mentions that she's been feeling sick, and that she hasn't been able to rest properly because of the tea Sybil gave her before bed (she suspects it to have been caffeinated).

Since she describes it as tasty, it can't be the same blend as the one you are offered in episode 2 at the diner with Avery, which is said to taste horrible.

My suspicion here is that Sybil has been making Kaneeka sick on purpose to keep her from getting involved in the supernatural, since she mentions Kaneeka's illness multiple times at the end of episode 3 and was being very adamant about taking her home as quickly as possible.

Her trying to keep Kaneeka away from the supernatural would also explain why Kaneeka is so sceptical, even though she was raised by Sybil who seems pretty spiritual.

The weird thing about this is that Sybil wouldn't let Kaneeka leave Scarlet Hollow after she came back from college to help her out when her husband died. This could be explained by people not being able to leave once the supernatural stuff sets in, since the Witch mentions this during her scene:

This is what Tabby has to say about the matter:

It might be that things had already started once Kaneeka arrived (though it's pretty unlikely, since that was over a year ago), but that still doesn't explain why Sybil didn't try to keep her away in the first place (or why she had children at all). Maybe there is some part Sybil has Kaneeka play in all of this after all. We'll see whether or not we can leave Scarlet Hollow in episode 4, since there is an option to make plans with Kaneeka to leave town on Thursday while hanging out with her in episode 3.

I should probably also explain why I said 'once the supernatural stuff sets in' earlier. This ties in with my other theories concerning the story, so this apparently is just a general theory post now.

My current best guess is that the whole thing we are experiencing is cyclical in nature and connected to the Scarlet family (since Tabitha and the player character are the only people affected by the carvings and therefore able to see the apparitions), and that Sybil has lived through it multiple times, which is why she doesn't seem to be fazed much by anything and was the one telling us about Ditchlings and them being a bad omen (while barely anyone else in town had heard of them before and they weren't mentioned in any of the books at the library).

When confronted about her strange attitude in episode 2, this is what she has to say:

Tabitha also knows stuff. I mentioned before that I think she's working with Sybil, though I don't think Sybil is telling her everything, just like she did with Charlie (if it was her).

If you have both Street Smart and Keen Eye equipped, you can listen in on their entire conversation at Sybil's store.

Unfortunately, I don't have enough images left to put screenshots of the entire thing, so here's a transcription instead, in case you haven't been able to read it yet:

Sybil: "I know it took longer than you'd hoped, but this was fairly short-notice. In the future, please give me at least two months to gather what's needed, these plants aren't exactly easy to come by."

Tabitha: "Is there enough?"

Sybil: "Yes, everything should go just fine. Make sure this is all it eats for a few days, and I mean all. Put it somewhere that it can't get other food."

Tabitha: "I'm not keeping it inside."

Sybil: "Outside, then. A shed. Something enclosed. And please call me if you get confused, don't assume you know what you're doing. You only have one shot at this, remember that."

Tabitha: "Pearlanne ran me through it plenty of times, I know what I'm- "

If you ask me, that conversation is pretty reminiscent of the one the Witch had with Charlie, giving him an important item (a map, in his case) and instructions, telling him to be careful etc. (which is ironic because Tabitha called him a sucker for trusting her).

It also looks like Pearlanne has been preparing Tabitha to play her part in 'the cycle' for a while. It seems like keeping supernatural entities in check is some sort of family tradition (fun!), which has been going on for quite some time (the Scarlets have probably also have been working with Sybil for multiple generations, since Tabitha calls her 'a friend of the family' when asked about who she called in the psychedelic funhouse). I'm guessing this is also the reason why the player character's mother left and cut all ties with the family, and why they seem to be so mad at her for doing so. This task (ritual?) she needs to perform might also the reason why Tabitha asked us to come to the funeral in the first place, since she didn't exactly seem happy to see us and is strangely overprotective (so are Wayne and Sybil).

There's definitely some sort of curse on the family, since Dr. Kelly mentions that the Scarlets rarely ever came to her as patients and mostly died young (you can also see that on the family tree in the forbidden wings, at least that's what I think the angel wings on some of the portraits are meant to represent, since a lot of people with the wings look very young, but there are also people who look fairly old on there, so I'm guessing they depicted each person like they looked shortly before their death), which she suspects might be a genetic condition (She only tells you this if you ask her if she's ever seen a dead body at dinner at her house and learn that she is licensed to perform autopsies and therefore, being the only medical practitioner in town, has seen the corpse of everyone who died in Scarlet Hollow during her time there as a doctor, which might be interesting in the future, since it's been brought up before whether Pearlanne's death was really natural.).

We know for certain that there are a lot of spirits who have it out for the Scarlets, as we witnessed first-hand in episodes 2 & 3 with Charlie and the miners trying to bury us alive (and also trying to bring down the house, as we saw in the epilogue of episode 2, which they've probably been doing for a while, given the estate's condition, Stella claiming that one day, the foundation just mysteriously started to gave way when asked about what happened to the estate after reading about its former glory in 'Historical Buildings of Scarlet Hollow' with Book Smart), and that they're connected to the carvings in some way, though the carvings don't necessarily appear because someone died there since Charlie dug one of them up before being murdered (I haven't gotten into the symbolism of the carvings yet, except for the fact that they do thematically connect to the people who died there, so if you know anything about that, please comment!). It might really be some 'pact with the devil'-type situation, as some people already suspected, and the people died were some sort of sacrifice. By making a deal with some supernatural entity, one might be granted a wish (in Silas Scarlet's case, wealth), but have to pay for it with human lives (how many depending on the wish). (If the Witch was already working with the Scarlets back when Charlie was murdered, her ulterior motive in giving him a map with the locations of the carvings was probably luring him into a trap laid by the Scarlets to be the scrifice for Eddie's wish (the sacrifice having to die near a carving), as she was about to become the new head of the family.) The track that plays when discovering the first carving in the mines in episode 2 is called 'Original Sin', which adds up with this theory, but since we don't really have any concrete evidence yet, I won't get into it further at this point. (Also, if I remember correctly, the mine collapse happened long after Silas Scarlet discovered the coal veins on his land and founded the mines, becoming rich in the process, but I don't have a clear time line of events in mind, so yeah, just speculation for now.)

It might also be worth looking into Dr. Kelly and Reese some more, since it's pretty obvious that there's another one of the carvings at the clinic. I've seen a lot of theories about Reese having some supernatural force within him his mother is trying to subdue with the meds, making him sick in the process, and I fully agree with those! (That would also explain the Ditchlings coming right up to Reese's window, besides them living at the edge of the woods (I mean, Duke lives in the woods and still had no idea it was them taking his chicken for quite some time.), as well as his art prominently featuring symbolism of something breaking free from inside of him, etc.) Maybe Reese died or almost died at some point and Dr. Kelly made a deal with the supernatural entity to keep him alive, the carving being a sign of the pact (it being inside the clinic would also make sense in that scenario). But if the Scarlet family didn't have anything to do with that one, it wouldn't make sense for the player character to feel just as drawn to it as to the others. If you read 'Historical Buildings of Scarlet Hollow' at the library, you learn about the history of the hospital and that it's also named after the Scarlets so they might have something to do with it after all, but that, in turn, doesn't explain Dr. Kelly's odd behaviour regarding the matter. The Scarlets and Dr. Kelly working together also doesn't make sense because they never consulted her even when they were sick.

At this point, all of this is just pure speculation though.

As for the 'it' Sybil and Tabitha were talking about: It might be Wayne, since Tabitha is referring to him as 'it' in the Charlie's domain (which you can also point out), and it's not the person Avery was representing in the ghost scequence, since they're already inside the estate. (Tabitha might also have been dating all those miners in hopes of finding someone fitting to be whatever Wayne is now, since it seems fairly out of character without an ulterior motive (though that's a bit of a stretch without any concrete evidence). I suspect that Wayne isn't actually Sam Wayne anymore, but a vessel for something, since if you meet up with Isaacs in episode 3 (only possible with Street Smart), he tells you about what he was like (they were good friends), and it doesn't sound like the 'Wayne' we know. Him being chosen as the vessel instead of any of the other miners Tabitha was dating before might be because he's (quoting Isaacs) "built like a brick house", since that might delay the vessel 'going bad', as we know he's already decaying rapidly despite his prior great physical condition. That, or all the other miners were used too but didn't last as long (long enough to escape), as we don't know if they came back after being dumped.) We didn't see Wayne at all in episode 3 before he showed up in the ghost's domain, and when he showed up, Tabitha seemed pretty shocked, so that might add up, but trying to keep him locked inside a decrepit shack (as Sybil suggested, which is definitely the shack back at the estate) seems pretty unrealistic, since he's smart and strong enough to escape easily, so I'm unsure about that one. Let's hope we'll be able to investigate the shed in episode 4.

All that said, I don't think any of it necessarily makes neither Sybil nor Tabitha a 'bad person'. Tabitha likely doesn't have the full picture and seems to view whatever she's doing as her duty and it clearly puts her under immense pressure.

Sybil also seems to be doing what she thinks needs to be done in order to satisfy the supernatural powers threatening the town. As for the 'role' (as she puts it) she's playing in all of this, her name might give some insight: Sybil means 'prophetess', which suits her, since she first told us about Ditchlings being a bad omen and seems to frequently play the part of the adviser. We'll probably find out a lot more about her in episode 4, since she invited us to come talk to her in private at the end of episode 3.

There's still a lot of things I haven't done research on, but this post is already way too long as is (sorry). If you got through all of it, I congratulate you, I probably wouldn't have been able to do the same, and if there's anything I missed, please let me know.

Update 1:

So I tried out some more trait combinations and with both Keen Eye and Book Smart, you can identify two of the plants Sybil keeps in her tea room as castor bean and oleander which both have healing effects but are also highly poisonous.

I didn't find any symbolism connected to castor beans, but some of the meanings associated with oleander fit Sybil pretty well. Oleander can represent caution, destiny and understanding. And here's the best part: Remember what I said about Sybil being some sort of prophetess? It's speculated that in ancient Greece, oleander leaves were burned at Delphi by the oracles, since inhaling the smoke induces symptoms similar to the ones described by sources from back then. (I don't really think this is super important, just a neat coincidence(?))

Update 2:

I tried hanging out with different people in episode 3, and it seems like local private eye Avery also finds Sybil suspicious. They tell you that Sybil is friendly but distant and never reveals anything meaningful about herself. Not much but it's interesting that you can talk to multiple people about how weird Sybil is.

Update 3:

This time about the mysterious 'person' locked away in the estate. I went through the soundtrack again and turns out the track that plays during their scene in Charlie's realm is titled 'The Entity'. I previously assumed 'The Entity' was referring to The Resonant (aka Charlie), but when I replayed the whole ghost sequence, this track didn't play during any of his main scenes. Instead, it plays during the scene where Charlie talks to the mysterious figure behind the locked door.

I read theories about Tabitha knowing about another person inside the manor and possibly even feeding it, but a grown human person from back then would hardly be alive now, no matter how much you feed them, so it being some nonhuman entity would explain why it likely still is (Since the door was shown in the epilogue of episode 1, it's definitely going to be important in some way.). It not being human would also explain the claw marks and the many locks. (I noticed that the claw marks are mostly outside of the door though, as if something was trying to get in, rather than out.) It might even be the entity the Scarlets have a contract with if you're going with the pact-with-the-devil-theory I mentioned earlier, but I can't think of any reasons why it would allow itself to be locked up by them.

I also think Tabitha genuinely didn't know about it, since if you ask her (with the Street Smart trait) why she was so riveted to what the Entity was saying, she tells you that apparently there are family secrets she was never let in on and, as far as I can tell with how much she pauses and her insecure expression, I believe she was actually surprised. If you ask her where in the estate this room would be located, she tells you that it would be the forbidden wings, which she probably wouldn't reveal so easily if she was trying to keep a secret. She also says that the forbidden wings of the estate were sealed off at least a decade ago, so she herself might have bought into the whole 'danger' thing and never actually went there.

I know this isn't about Sybil but this post escalated a long time ago and I thought this was too interesting not to mention, but it's not enough concrete stuff to justify an entire post on its own.

Update 4:

If you don't invite Tabby to come ghost hunting, Sybil will take you home in her place and on the way, you can literally ask her if she's a witch (which she, of course, denies). There's a lot of interesting dialogue in that alternate path. I've only skimmed through it for now but I'm definitely gonna do some more analysis on that (probably... one day...). I almost feel sorry for selling something so obvious as a theory now. Also, with the Mystical trait, you can note that Sybil has a very powerful aura, but most of you probably already knew that since it's one of the most popular traits.

Update 5:

With the Mystical trait, the game also literally spells out for you who the characters in the ghost sequence are supposed to be by naming them 'The Witch', 'The Entity' etc., instead of the possessed people's names. Sorry for putting it like that part was some huge discovery; it was for me, since I didn't have that trait. Some day, I'll have to replay the entire game with Mystical, it seems awfully useful.

Update 6:

So about not being able to leave Scarlet Hollow: Rosalina had to be brought to a hospital outside of town if she got injured in episode 2:

I can't believe I missed this. Even without picking that dialogue option it's pretty obvious that Dr. Kelly wouldn't have been able to deal with an amputation on her own, and she's the only practitioner in town.

I don't know where this leaves us exactly, but according to what the Witch said, it sounded more like you're not necessarily unable to leave but misfortune will befall you if you try to. Since Rosalina's already had plenty of misfortune by then, maybe she was exempt from this... ? That, or the fact that her goal wasn't to leave permanently (since Oscar had to leave town too to pick her up).

Of course there's always the possibility of a secret ending where you get to leave town with Kaneeka and live happily ever after, but I somehow doubt that.

(I'm excited for episode 4! :D)

#scarlet hollow #scarlethollow #scarlet hollow game #black tabby games #scarlet hollow theory #scarlet hollow theories #scarlet hollow spoilers #tabitha scarlet #sam wayne #reese kelly #kaneeka forsyth #sybil forsyth #scarlet hollow tabitha #scarlet hollow wayne #scarlet hollow reese #scarlet hollow kaneeka #scarlet hollow sybil #long post #loooong post #my stuff #this took way too much energy to write #and i'm still not satisfied with it #so expect edits and updates #if i have the energy #:') #also sorry for my convoluted sentences #it's the only way in which i can somewhat cram in all of my branching off thoughts i consider worthwhile #see? i'm doing it again

[choices-binglebonkus]

Top Ten Books/Series I forgot existed

So this has been sitting in my drafts for like a month or two and I just got an ask that made me want to actually post it. I think I made this simply because I was bored, couldn’t sleep, and enjoy making lists, so I decided to make a top ten list featuring books/series that I totally forgot about because…they’re just forgettable, no two ways about it. Because let’s be real here: there are great Choices books, there are terrible Choices books, and there are Choices books that are like…hey…hi…I’m just kinda here.

10. Shipwrecked. PLEASE do not quote me on this, but I *think* it released sometime this past year. Honestly most of the reason this book suffered was due to the lack of interesting characters, or characters in general because off the top of my head all I can remember are the MC, the LI, Dr. Hale, and the LI’s old business partner but I can’t even remember their name at this point. Hell, I can’t even remember much of the plot, and even after playing a chapter I remember forgetting almost everything about it pretty much immediately.

9. Wishful Thinking. I actually quite liked this book. It was lighthearted and pretty fun during a time where we needed some lightheartedness to balance out the more intense/angsty book releases. But unfortunately, the plot itself was kinda meh, and since it was a standalone, there was no real reason to remember it. Even worse, this book began the unfortunate trend of reusing background characters as MC’s “close friends”.

8. Foreign Affairs. Remember when FA was announced and, the dumbasses that we were, we were all convinced it would save the fandom from the book drought? Yeah…it feels like such a distant memory now. The book seemed really, really promising. And it could have been. But holy hell, it was executed so poorly and the premise of the plot was so flimsy. What I once thought would be a great book is now one of the ones I just squint at when I remember it even exists.

7. A Very Scandalous Proposal. I’ve talked about this one a little bit before. The main appeal of AVSP was Simon/Ava. If you didn’t like them? Tough shit, buddy. The main goal of the book was to uncover the secrets of the Montjoy family. Unfortunately, PB didn’t give us a reason to care about or find interest in said Montjoy family, which is probably why the book faded from my memory so quick.

6. Passport to Romance. This is kind of a weird one for me. I forget it exists most of the time, but then when I do remember it, I remember how truly terrible it was, while most of the other books on this list aren’t very fresh in my memory. It was so unimpressive, bland, and the characters were tolerable at best and obnoxious at worst (ELLIOT LANGDON).

5. Rising Tides. The book was okay…but it pushed a generic “save the earth” message while forcing us to pay to clean the town. The MC was a sidekick in her own story which would’ve been fine, but Charlie was such an annoying character that it wasn’t even enjoyable. Also, the Big Bads conceded waaaaay too easily at the end. I’m not even exaggerating when I say that I forgot about this book in less than a week after the final chapter aired.

4. Witness: A Bodyguard Romance. Believe it or not, despite how awful this book was, I forgot about it pretty quickly. It could’ve been a really cool story, but it focused too heavily on romance when the MC and Cassian’s lives were on the line quite literally at every second. Other than that…I truthfully do not remember much about this book other than the Irish mob.

3. Ms. Match. This book was decent enough and it didn’t stop releasing until that long ago. However, the plot was one of those “fight to reach the top and win the competition” plots which quite frankly have been overdone in Choices for a few years now. Not to mention, there weren’t a lot of interesting characters except for Maggie and maaaaaybe the MC’s dad but that’s pushing it a little. The reason it’s so high on this list is because it didn’t end that long ago, yet I can’t seem to remember a damn thing about the book, other than that I HATED the love interest.

2. Home for the Holidays. Many moons ago, this was considered one of the worst, if not, THE worst, book in Choices. And many moons ago, I agreed. But the horrific mediocrity of this holiday flurry of fuck was outshined by some truly awful stories and simply faded into obscurity.

1. Sunkissed. As I made this list, I scrolled through the series on the app, and while most books on this list elicited an “oh yeah, I kinda remember this” from me, when I saw this one, I was like “holy shit, I completely forgot this book was even a thing”. While Home For the Holidays and Sunkissed are both sort of (for lack of a better word) Hallmark-y, Sunkissed was longer and, in my opinion, a little sloppier. The book just wasn’t sure what it wanted to be. A lighthearted summer beach romance? A tale of a family’s struggles with grief and interpersonal conflict in the wake of a father and husband’s untimely death? Fuck it, we’ll uncomfortably cram BOTH into the main plot, execution be damned!

#choices stories you play #playchoices #choices stories we play #pixelberry #pixelberry studios #playchoices fandom #choices stories you play fandom #long post #choices stories we play fandom #loooong post #ranking list

[mommyclaws]

i have genuinely never heard of a bluestar-hate video, what video is that??? o_o like. i am certain i won’t agree with whatever takes they have, but now i’m curious

You don't??? The damage it did to the warrior cats fandom for years after is still so vivid to me, holy shitt....

Before I start, I am not trying to start drama. I'm actually a fan of the op. This isnt a cancel or callout post. The video is probably 6+ years old now. No clue if it or the related videos are still up, but I'm not gonna go fishing for them and if someone else finds them, I'd appreciate if you DO NOT link it on this post! Just to avoid any drama yknow yknow

So to sum it up the video was basically saying that Bluestar is a bad person for what she did to Brightheart/Lostface and went on to nickpick things about her, like interpreting her personality as entitled and I vaguely remember some implication that she was judging ThistleClaw unfairly. Which is... fine on it's own. You don't have to like the character or the things she did, but they also had a similar video "defending" Thistleclaw. Obviously not in a condoning his actions kind of way, but it was something along the lines of "You guys are hating him for the wrong reasons. You should hate him for being violent and a gr*0mer. But he was actually nice to Snowfur and loved her so stop making art/content where he's mean to Snowfur!"

And it probably didn't sit well with alot of people because... what difference does it make?

And god I could rant, I could rant, I could RANT about why showing Thistleclaw in any positive light when it is common knowledge that a majority of this fandom are in middle school was not a good idea. And besides that, he canonly calls Snowfur and their son weak after she died. Thistleclaw isn't and was never supposed to be a sympathetic character.

I genuinely dont care if you like him or headcanon him, blah blah whatever. I'm not here to police people over fake cats. Idc. but any Thistleclaw defense is completely uncalled for and has no purpose when his fucking character is a canon ped0 and gr*0mer who might put the age group this book is made for at risk. The things he does in Spottedleaf's Heart are bad, and the book just never acknowledged that the gr*0ming and age gap were the issue, rather just the fact that he was training in the Dark Forest. I think this could be very easily misinterpreted by children because it doesn't show the true weight of how bad Spottedpaw's situation is.

But anyways, after those videos, the backlash against Bluestar was intense and there was definitely a bigger Thistleclaw fan crowd for awhile. I mean this spread like wildfire. Any video, art posted, or mention of Bluestar would always have a ton of people making unnecessary side comments like "I hate her but-" "I don't like her but-" etc. I would even see people link the video if you mentioned liking her😭?? Which is just 1. rude to say on someone else work and 2. Blantantly parroting for the video just because the op was popular.

I don't blame this video specifically, and I know the fandom is mostly kids- even more so back then- but I do think it had a bit of a part to play in how the warriors fandom has long since blurred the line between "This character is bad" and "This character did a bad thing."

Yes, Bluestar did bad things, but the narrative VERY MUCH portrayed those things as bad. The reader knows what she did was bad. The characters know what she did was bad. That was the entire point. Completely opposite of characters like Bramblestar, who do bad things but are defended by the narrative and it's way more appropriate to bring negative attention.

Imo Bluestar was one of the best written and tragic characters in the series and before that video alot of people agreed, but for years after it she was reduced to "She did bad thing so I can't like her anymore". The whole Bluestar stuff has blown off since and I'm glad, but it's so frustrating how many characters get this treatment as well lately instead of being seen as narrative tools.

You can comment and reblog stuff but if anyone starts dropping names, URLs, or video links I'm turning reblogs off okay?

#loooong post #‼Th/stleclaw mentions so TW if anything revolving him or talking abt what he did is uncomfortable #rant

[twilightknight17]

Last night on P5T: We start the DLC at last, jet-set into a twister of nonsense, find mice instead of squids, and I freak out a bit over Satanael~

If you want to skip me ranting about the Velvet Room, scroll down to the big bold text. XD

Look at him. He’s beautiful. And he knows megidolaon!

But my Quest for Satanael, I feel, has exposed another flaw in this game. It’s not a problem if you’re just playing straight through, but if you’re my dumb ass and you want to finish the compendium/obtain Satanael/forge the best weapons, it starts to become an issue.

Fusion is expensive if you’re pulling things out of the compendium. You need personas of specific levels to fuse the weapons, and obviously the best weapons are very high level personas, which won’t drop during battle. Special fusions like Lucifer, Chi You, and Satanael have five or six components each. The cost can be mitigated some by using personas obtained during fights, but in that case, you lose skill options if you’re trying to pass on a specific one via fusion chain. (I can’t imagine trying to get a specific skill on a high-level persona in this game. Ugh. At least megidolaon was a base skill on one of Satanael’s ingredients.)

Which brings us to the actual issue: there’s… no good way to get money in this game.

Money is purely obtained from winning battles. There are no bits and bobs to sell, no money from releasing unneeded personas, nothing. Which means that if you are trying to raise enough money to pay for your multitude of weapons and high-level persons, you are going to be replaying prior battles.

A Lot.

The battles in the final kingdom give around 10K yen, from what I can tell. That can be boosted to around 18K if all three party members have a sub-persona with the “Easy Money” skill. In comparison, personas like Michael and Lucifer (components of Satanael), cost somewhere in the 20-25K range to call from the compendium. You need Michael to make Lucifer in the first place, so you’re going to have to summon him from the compendium at least once.

I don’t know if I did something wrong or inefficiently or what, but I spent the whole game feeling like I barely had enough money for the things I wanted. New weapons often broke the bank, and I wasn’t always using Easy Money because I wanted to actually take specific skills or personas into battle. By the time I was trying to get Satanael, I was basically grinding the same mission multiple times in a row because I knew I could finish it in the least number of turns. It's a little disheartening after unlocking all the endgame bonuses and tricks in Royal and racking up hundreds of thousands of yen in one go to spend on fusion.

That’s not even counting the fusion accidents. The first time I went to fuse Satan (also a component of Satanael), the forge exploded. That probably should have been my cue to start save-scumming, but I didn’t. I assumed that special fusions were immune to fusion accidents. They are not. I placed all of Satanael’s components in the forge and it exploded, wasting least 30K yen.

In hindsight, I probably could have loaded the autosave. But I honestly forgot that the autosave was happening. I always saved manually when I stopped and didn’t worry about anything else. But that’s not the point.

The point is that Satanael should not have been able to explode. X’D

(Side note: fusing Lucifer got a special animation. It’s the only one so far. Why just him???)

But yeah. My compendium still isn’t done, and I’m not even close to the best weapons. I kind of want to take them into merciless mode for NG+, so that means going back and grinding more. But not right now. Right now, we’re off to Spray Paint Land.

It’s time for DLC!

We begin this chilly November late afternoon/evening/whatever with more Quality Morgana Faces.

It has to be November, because Goro’s on the team at this point. Plain and simple. There’s literally only like a 3-week period this can take place in. Akira receives a text from Sumi that says she wants him to meet her in a nearby alley. I guess she was on her way to the cafe. But Morgana says that he knows when to mind his own business, and to call if Akira needs anything.

Call what phone, Mona? Are you gonna answer the cafe phone? Just admit you wanna nap.

Wait. Wait. Morgana. Wake up. The plot is happening. Wake up!

Well, I suppose that means Goro isn’t the artist. He wouldn't have had time while all the Okumura stuff was happening. All these sad mice, tho. Very strange. And isn’t Guernica the artist from Ib? I went on a classic RPGMaker horror kick a few weeks back. I’d watched Angels of Death a while ago and really liked it, and so I watched playthroughs of Ib and Mad Father for the first time. Ib was good, Mad Father was… mediocre, I think.

...oh. That’s Guertena. Neeeeeeevermind.

So, Sumi wants to show you a mural of Arsène being eaten by a giant rat. Which is… not what I was expecting the mural of Akira’s persona to look like. As they puzzle over how the hell a picture of Arsène ended up in a random alley in Yongen, Goro also shows up, ready to investigate.

…...I swear to god, Atlus, why is he the only one who you won’t call by his first name? Also, how is he here to investigate? How did he know about a random mural in the backstreets when everyone is busy paying attention to the giant one on the security building?

He asks if Sumi and Akira had anything to do with this mural, then laughs at Sumi when she gets all flustered by the question. They speculate on the artist’s motives for a bit, since Guernica’s identity is unknown, and then Akira hears a voice calling for the Phantom Thieves from inside the wall.

This made me laugh very hard for inside joke reasons, but Goro assures Sumi that there is no way that there is a person trapped in that wall.

But the mural starts to glow, Arsène disappears, and everything and all of us start getting sucked into the rat’s mouth. And I love and appreciate Sumi dearly, but… none of us are safe here, and you have had your persona for like a month. I should be protecting you.

Joker arrives in a spray-paint covered cityscape, and I already love this place. Holy shit the colors. We’re immediately thrown into a battle, and shooting the little dudes throws paint all over the ground around them. Hehehe. It’s like we’re in Splatoon or something.

...oh. I was joking. But we ARE in Splatoon!

When you’re standing on the enemy’s color, you can’t do anything. No attacks or skills. So there’s definitely an element of strategizing here. I really like it, even if I did die on my first attempt because I was figuring out how it all worked.

……Lavenza, I appreciate the classic literature, but you’re scaring me just a little. XDDDD

Anyway, Joker gets surrounded, the other two jump in to save him, and we get a minor pointing Spiderman meme of “wait, you have powers?” It’s also a little silly because Sumi’s idle stance is a constant pose. Your arms are gonna hurt.

Sumi clarifies to Goro what happened in the Palace when she awakened, and he’s just glad she can fight, even if she’s not formally a Phantom Thief. He clarifies that he is only sort of kind of a Phantom Thief for reasons that would take too long to go into.

...my dear, that is every situation involving these two.

But no, this is completely unrealistic. Goro would have at least a question or two about a random Palace that just spawned somewhere. If this game doesn’t imply that he asked something before January…….

They hear screaming, and a have their first encounter with a non-hostile denizen of this world, who collapses in Sumi’s arms, begs for help, and explodes into paint, leaving Sumi concerned and traumatized. X’D

Goro reminds her that these are cognitions, not even bothering to hide how confident he is in his knowledge about the metaverse, and the trio follows the continuing screams to a mouse massacre.

A crazed woman with a parrot is just gunning down vast amounts of cute mouse people. Paint is going everywhere. It’s insane. Even Goro is put off by the sight.

Meanwhile, Sumi refuses to stand for this and just goes right up to confront the problem.

The bird’s name is Jerri, and I had to message Po in the middle of this, because I was having a crisis.

I can’t unsee it. Help.

Anyway, this is Guernica, and she wants to paint the walls with our blood!

Fortunately, everyone is rescued by a mysterious hole opening up under us, and we meet our savior.

Well… one of us is.

This is Luca, and she’s so happy to see us, because she wants us to help Guernica. Apparently, she was different before Jerri showed up. She felt a kinship with the Phantom Thieves and their quest against corruption. Now, she has strange powers to "peer into people's hearts", and her art can… basically cause a variation of a psychotic breakdown.

Apparently her mental state is fucked because someone stole her Treasure (the first piece of art she ever made) and broke it into pieces. The memo section says, "She was driven to carnage by the theft of her heart's core, prompting her to go on killing sprees in the Metaverse." Which has some WILD implications that I doubt the game is gonna touch on. X’’’’D

Luka also takes us to see this world’s version of the Arsène mural, which is… gruesome? Like, there’s bones sticking out.

Apparently this art was Guernica’s last cry for help before she snapped completely. And she knows what Akira’s persona looked like because of that power to “peek into people’s hearts”. It’s a bit wobbly, but we’ll go with that for now.

Guernica’s “first statement” is in three pieces, so we’re off to retrieve the first one. And I love Luca already.

Jerri wants us to hand over Luca. I might have considered it if she didn’t call me a mop. She claims she’ll send us right home, but that sounds like bullshit.

Also, shoutout to Goro for using his “real” voice here. Time to get dangerous~

It’s nice to hear, because I actually find myself missing abrasive, snarky third-sem Goro compared to the Detective Prince.

This whole thing is such a wild vibe of Splatoon, TWEWY, and Jet Set Radio. The music is fun, the aesthetics are top-notch, and so far the levels have had that extra level of challenge of working with the paint mechanics. It’s really great.

Luka’s ability is creating “manholes” to warp from place to place, and Goro is quickly getting tired of having to jump down them. XD

Our hideout is basically down in the sewers. Luca fished new weapons out of the trash for us, and there’s no Velvet Room, so I guess we’re stuck with whatever sub-personas drop during the battle stages.

We get to have a fun conversation about bouldering, and I caught Goro blinking in the picture, but he actually looks genuinely surprised that you’d want to come try his hobby.

I love the mental image of the three of them going rock-climbing together.

And then, tragically, the Switch ran out of battery. But I’m loving it so far! This is a fun side-story, even if I am a little skeptical of how they’re going to justify everything when they get back to the real world. I’d need to go watch the beginning of January again, but I’d swear there was explicit dialogue that neither of them knew the other had powers beforehand.

Oh well. A thought for another day. Right now, we wonder what kind of disguised god named itself “Jerri”. XDDD

#Li plays P5T #loooong post #just scraping the image limit; blame the cool spray paint XDDD

[loreofthejungle]

@sncvol. I'm unclear how you're defining maladaptive, so I'm going to try and handle this as clearly as possible. When I say that her behavior is maladaptive, I mean that in the clinical sense.

Maladaptive behavior is defined as behavior that interferes with an individual's activities of daily living or ability to adjust to and participate in particular settings.

Miorine self isolates. The first episode of the show demonstrates this. She doesn't really have friends, she holds everyone at arms length, and she actively seeks space far away from everyone else (mostly the greenhouse). Like, I usually try to avoid playing arm chair therapist, but she's practically screaming at all times. I can feel it in my bones.

Calling her behavior maladaptive isn't a moral judgment. It doesn't mean she's bad or a bad person. It's a coping skill. Her environment sucked, so she adapted. What makes her coping skill maladaptive is that it has become a crutch. And the thing about crutches is they're not supposed to be used forever. That's why Suletta is so important. Suletta shows her she doesn't have to keep hiding/running. Because if Suletta didn't show up, Miorine was likely to keep hiding herself way and never really process what she's been through.

Self isolation is fine in the short term, but I know from experience that you become incapable of moving forward if that's your go-to response when shit gets hard.

And that's what (in my opinion) made it so easy for Prospera to manipulate her. It's not hard to size up someone's trauma and push them where you want them to go. Hell, marketing is like 80% "find the insecurity." Prospera had her number from the day they met. Hell, she pushed her to ask her father for help. Yes, it was her choice, but it was Prospera who drew attention to it and pushed.

What really confirmed my feelings on this is my rewatch. Prospera keeps putting her hands on Miorine, handling her like a thing and taunting her. And then there's this:

This scene. This right here. Miorine is stressed and desperate. She's been avoiding dealing with so much. Her safe person is being actively manipulated by this harpy. She's willing to do anything to get Prospera to stop. So Prospera offers her the one thing that comes naturally. Push Suletta way. Run. Hide yourself away. People don't think rationally in high stress situations. If she had, she would have realized that this only hurts Suletta. "The result itself is only the truth."

It's easy to relapse into bad habits when you can justify it with good intentions. I say this out of empathy. I know how easy it is to justify a shitty call to myself by saying it was for someone I love. But that's all that is. A justification.

And I need to stop there because it's already longer than I meant it to be, but I needed to be thorough. I highly recommend people rewatch from the prologue because I know I missed a whole lot the first time.

Thank you and sorry for the rant. I am having fun talking about this, honest

#g witch spoilers #loooong post #reply #im sorry if this seems like a lecture #just a subject that near and dear to my heart

[dumbestcorn]

OKOK I FINALLY FINISHED! Spoilers for PLA if you haven’t finished already!

Anything for you since you made me so happy to write an essay Snippets in-game

Friendship evos

Slightly sympathetic writing; no one caring abt where he went

Tired look after battle (theoretical grief((Selfish at first))

Even if it was fake, still looked after the MC

Weird take but Garchomp being naturally evolved

Dumb take but wanting Laventon to complete Pokedex

(slightly) understandable motive

After the battle that goes into immortal and dad Volo theory

Settled down to have a family

(hopefully) chilled out 

He has time to think about it

A Straight up theory bc I don’t pay enough attention

Wielder might just be what people of Celestia(or whatever) called themselves when they had pokemon 

I didn’t know I was writing an essay today for somebody who asked me why I think Volo is redeemable(thanks for asking though). FYI, my mind is in jumbles right now because of too many thoughts and I can never say my thoughts out perfectly. So, I also decided to put some theoretical reasons because I felt it would help you understand my thoughts a bit more. So please enjoy!

In-game/hinted at

A big thing that people use when they’re on this topic is his three Pokemon. Lucario (220 during the day), Togekiss (225), and Roseade (220 during the day). All happen to be on the high side of friendship. If Volo had Lopunny people would probably agree more because that sucker starts at 0 and evolves at 220. Still happens to be one of my fav Pokémon despite that. Anyways, that means he’d have to use them all or at least have them all in his team for a while. 

Two evolve by stones which could also take a while, for example, I had to look up where to get a Shiny Stone for my Togetic because I couldn’t find it in the wild for the life of me. In the normal games, I could only find stones post-game. So, that’s a commitment.

Garchomp is a special case. Like all Pseudo-Legendries, they have to be high level to evolve. 48 doesn’t seem like a lot, but if you're trying to grind it, suuuucks. Especially since they all level up slowly. This also means that it was kept on his team for a long time. Plus its level 68 in the final battle. We don’t talk about Spirtomb. 

One thing that flew over my head was his slightly sympathetic writing, which happens to be that no one says anything about him leaving except Cogita who bashed him. He was surprisingly talked about less than anyone in the game. It could have been unintentional but I like to think about it like that. Was there a reason why everybody just stopped realizing he existed?

 It could have been when the player told Laventon about Spear Pillar, they told more than about Giratina. Wouldn’t others talk more than if it (somehow) ended on a bad note? Gossip would probs be the only thing keeping me going if I was there. At least someone other than Cogita would say something else. What about Laventon and the clan leader you choose? No, nobody, which is like I said, weird. Makes you feel bad for the man.

This one is mainly a product of me looking into it too much but after the battle on Spear Pillar, he has a tired look. It always seemed like grief to me, not for you but because he failed. Like he gave it his all and got NADA. I like to believe that he realizes what he has done is beyond stupid over time. Like I don’t know how he’d think that’ll work out. I’m def going into this more when I get to the theory theories. 

This one is small but it’s about him telling Laventon to complete the Pokedex. It was very small but I believe it’s a way to also wish you good luck. It’s very small but it’s like his pride isn’t letting him say good luck to you so he’s going to the person in Hisui that you care about the most. Even if he was to say good luck to you/complete the Pokedex, it would seem fake and just like a salty Showdown player saying GG after making fun of you before you won. 

Now I’m going off of the in-game examples to go on a little rant. So, his Pokémon is a PRIME example. All his Pokémon are hard to get/evolve. Unlike like Ghetsis, his pseudo-legendary is evolved and Volo also has the most friendship evolutions. Btw, if Cyrus cares about his Pokémon because of his one Crobat, then Volo cares for his Pokémon more than him. 

His motive is slightly understandable. Wanting to know why things happen to you and why we have to go through, a question that may have gone through our heads. Definitely went through my head before I stopped caring LMAOO, I also forgot about it. I have memories that are buried in thoughts of Pokémon and Splatoon. Anyways, the way he went to do so was, uhhh, not the best, like I don’t know how basically dethroning Arceus would help him out. Creative thought ig??

Theories 

There’s one thing that was something that fell on my head one day and I kept it. It’s about his title, Wielder. I believe that it may be a title that the People of Celestia(?) or whatever he is, used when they had Pokémon. I don’t believe that he dislikes his Pokémon so that’s how it came to me. It could be that while they do think of Pokémon as dangerous things, they still realize that they have feelings and protect them. Of course, I’m just overthinking and trying to defend my reasoning why he’s reasonable. 

Ah yes, Immortal Volo, my favorite kind of Volo, especially if he’s drawn like he’s still young. So, if we're thinking correctly, he either calmed down or is still balls to the walls crazy. I like to choose that he calmed down even though I usually still depict him like he is as a merchant even though people can say that was just a façade. WELL, I like to pretend he’s my friend sometimes because he’s COOL. But if we are honest, he’ll probably look at his past actions and cringe. 

That gets me onto my favorite point because it’s probably the most realistic one! He has time to think about what he has done. Reflecting is one of the things that people comment about when it comes to N. Which I like but, can’t we make Volo reflect on what happened? He has time to do it. Years of being alone unless you believe he had some relationships. It would make his change more believable than just being like “I mega messed up, guess I'm good now.”

Now the theory about Volo being Cynthia’s dad. It goes into the immortality theory and/or longevity. Let’s be honest, he is FINE. So him having a child with someone is not impossible. But the reason why I brought this up is that if it’s semi-true, it either means Volo calmed down enough to have a sane child or Cynthia was able to learn what not to do by learning about what happened on Spear Pillar. 

From what I said, hopefully, you can see where I’m coming from. He is one of my favorite characters so I guess you can use that against me if you want to tell me why you don’t think he’s redeemable. Even if he was a pure villain I still might like him but that’s because I find him interesting, like how I do with Colress. They are important but there’s less lore about them than there should be. 

I would say more but it’s honestly hard for me bc I just finished Jojolion and my brain is mush. 

#Volo #PLA #pokemon ledgends arceus #LOOOONG POST #also I just want to put it out there #ARCEUS DIDNT BRING INGO TO HISUI #It's not understandable when you look at the prev fallers #ST Distortions did the job

[arthurtristankingsmen]

Small things I think I'd like for myself, a non-exhaustive list:

- Be engaging and fun to watch the streams of, enough to build up a small group of people who want to watch my streams regularly. so whenever I do one, I have people to converse consistently with in the chat and connect to

-improve my art enough that I can do more interesting and dynamic poses and produce cool pieces faster. It'd also be rad if i got to a point that people might tip me for the chance for some of my work, even the silly doodles, not just because they're my buddies (though I will never not appreciate the kindness of friendship too <3).

- Write again, whatever I want. Write the characters I want to. Create for myself, or to share with others, both art and writing, but without the expectation that anyone *should* like it. It's okay if it's just me. I'll love it enough for everyone. Notes don't matter to me already, but i need the same mindset about comments and engagement, where they're icing on the cake, but the cake should be mine to enjoy the process of baking.

- fight to become kinder and more patient again. I feel like I've lost myself because of traumatic events and some abuse over the last few years, and I'm not as good at being someone worth being around as I used to be. I burned out and I've struggled to be as understanding or to say things right, and I've fallen on too-teasing humor. I need to change, to joke in kinder ways than playful jabs that could accidentally go too far, and to find that gentler version of myself again, while maintaining boundaries. I can be honest and say what people need to hear, but I won't be blunt, I'll take the extra minutes to say it with compassion and sympathy and understanding. I want to be a safe space.

- Learn you can't help everyone. I know I want to, so so bad. But there are times you can't, and accepting that is better than feeling helpless and getting upset. I can't do stuff like donate to everyone who needs it every time, when I don't have anything to spare. I can't give up all of my mental spoons to help someone vent about a stressful day, when I'm barely hanging on by a thread. I can't keep telling myself that my life has no point and It's too late for me to be okay, so the only thing i can do is be of service to others and help them live better lives than me. It isn't too late for me, and my sacrifice wasn't asked for and it doesn't make me a hero or 'good' that i'm willing to do that. I have to kill the egotistic part of my brain that thinks my suffering for that kindness is "noble", and not something that would make the people I'm helping that way feel guilty for taking from me, if they knew. Give what you can spare of yourself, but leave enough to live with. No one wants others to set themselves on fire to keep them warm, and if they do, that isn't a relationship to maintain.

- Stop putting emotional energy into people who won't listen to the advice you give. instead of saying the same thing over and over again and getting resentful that they don't listen, just let them be. sometimes people need to stumble and stand up on their own to really learn for themselves, and it isn't worth all the energy you might try to give, just because you feel it'll help them, especially if they don't truly want to listen.

-You can't fix everything. it's exhausting, and a little too much ego to think you know better for everyone, and it's controlling to try and take over to help someone like a parent they never asked for, even if your intentions are only ever meant to be good and helpful. People are in charge of their own life, and they'll figure their stuff out with time, whether it's learning to listen because of realizing it would've helped a different time, or through trial and error. Keep the advice to people who ask for it, or it actually seems to help, and conserve the energy you'd spend on the people who nod along but never follow-through, so you don't end up feeling frustrated when they don't heed it.

-related, but stop putting as much energy into relationships that feel one-sided. Find people to talk to, to have fun with, and stop investing so much in relationships where almost all of the emotional energy is yours. You can't be the one who always tries to carry a conversation just to see it drop off. If they don't have the energy for you, or you're not a priority, that's okay. We can be friends, and still have nice talks and you can still care about them deeply! But try to prioritize relationships that make you feel you are worth listening to and engaging with, for yourself, rather than the ones where others zone out when you start talking when its not something they care about or are fixated on, or those who only engage when they need a sounding board, or drop off every time you try to engage them. All of these things are fine to do on occasion, don't get me wrong (i do it myself, it's human and not something to punish yourself for) but if it's almost every time, it's okay to feel undervalued. And it's okay to want more, and to focus on the relationships where we prioritize each other more consistently, and listen and engage with each others' interests more equally, both the ones we share, and the ones we just want to talk about with someone. Try not to guilt others for these things because it is natural, but if you need more, you need more, and it's okay to focus your energy where it makes you happier to be, rather than feeling bad the space you're in isn't meeting those needs.

-at the same time, be aware you are not beholden to all of your friends' energy and time. Sometimes, they will not have the energy or spoons to hang out out or talk, but that does not mean they don't love you or spending time with you. Try to be patient and understanding. Sometimes, they will do things without you, with other friends and that is okay, too. They are their own people, and they are allowed to exist outside of being around you, even with other friends. It's alright to feel bad sometimes about missing out, especially if it seems to be about maliciously leaving you out, or about avoiding you, or what you missed out on feels big and important. but it is okay for people to engage one another without inviting every other person they know every time, including yourself. Sometimes, a big group is too much for one person, sometimes they just want one-on-one time--- a friend group is not a singular unit that you are breaking by hanging out with friends separately. While everyone getting to hang out is great, you're allowed to have friendships that don't overlap, and you're allowed to hang out with friends who *do* individually, and everyone else you know is allowed to do the same. It's fair to want to feel a part of things, but it is not a terrible thing for others to enjoy time with just one friend, and it doesn't mean they don't like you or enjoy your company too. it's okay to be disappointed, but try to remember that, and try to find ways to accept it, like making time yourself for special hangout time too, or acccepting that whatever they were engaged with will still be fun for them now, and being okay with being late to the party, so long as you get to join in.

-try to become more positive. Not in a toxic positivity way, but it's okay to curate a space where everything wrong isn't the focus all the time. Being online is an escape, and while it's healthy to vent sometimes and work through problems or tough stuff, it's also easy to fall into consistent negativity, and people exposed too long to that will burn out. It's good to be able to tell people how you feel and communicate, but you need to learn to sometimes sort through things on your own, and try to also be a source of good and energizing feelings to balance out the tough stuff, and strike that balance. talk to people where you can just have fun, and be a source of support and joy for others where being around you ends up with them feeling good more often than sad or hurt or bad. you're not responsible for everyone's feelings, but you can always try to be someone you'd want to be around more, too. Find the things that bring you enthusiasm and be loud and supportive of people you care about-- it doesn't have to be every time, but try to be the person you want others to be for you, who make you feel engaged and listened to and like they care. Take the time to find the words that will mean something to someone, and make the effort to say them, you never know how much it will mean.

-BUT check your ego. Just because you take the time to say something kind because it might mean something to someone else, or to be supportive and listen, and to be that person that you wanted someone else to be for you--- *doesn't* mean that the people you interact with have to be that for you. You are not entitled to them changing for you, or engaging you how you want, or supporting what you make just because you made it. Sometimes tastes or things are different, and that's okay. You are not owed that, just because you do it for someone else. You chose to do what you do, to become more positive because that's the kind of person *you* want to be. it shouldn't be because then they might give you what you want. Friendship is not transactional. If that change does happen, that's great, and you might become closer for it. but you cannot expect that, or make them into what they want, because they are real people. so changing with the expectation that if you try harder, so will they, is unfair to put on them, and will end in disappointment if it doesn't happen.

-if what you really want is something different than what you are given, it can be talked about, if you want to see if it's possible for the relationship to change for your needs. but it's their right to say no to changing anything they do. And it's your right, if that happens, to instead focus on the friendships you have that already suit your needs, or to find new ones, instead of staying in a position you're unhappy with. try to communicate, and/or find the connections that work better for you.

-Communicate better. It's always good to keep trying, and keep getting better at it, even if you think you're already pretty good at. Never assume people know what you're thinking or how you're feeling. If you feel bad and are starting to feel resentful over something, step up to talk it out. just like you aren't in charge of someone else's feelings, they're not in charge of yours. If you feel a certain way, the ball is in your court to engage with someone and figure out how to address the issue, for both of you to resolve it, or understand what's going on. Do your best to figure out and frame things as 'us vs the problem' rather than you vs them, and do your best to be honest, but kind in communicating. Try to be sympathetic and understanding of their side, but don't let their side invalidate your feelings entirely, unless something is cleared up that makes you feel better. Even if you can understand where they're coming from, that doesn't mean what you feel doesn't matter. There are ways to acknowledge what happened without just going with them being right. You aren't doing yourself or them any favors by bending down and just agreeing with them to avoid conflict, that only leaves more hurt feelings and resentments down the road.

-At the same time, though, sometimes it's best to hold your tongue. There are some people who cannot be reasoned with or spoken to, and in those spaces it is best not to waste your energy fighting. Try not to put too much weight to the words of someone who you fundamentally disagree with, it's okay to choose not to engage for your own sanity or safety.

-get a remote job, so I can afford food and rent, so I can not hurt my disabled body just trying to have the money to survive with, and I can give gifts to people I care about and help my friends without worrying about what I have left, and I can afford to pay off student loans still looming over my head.

-write rp again-- I miss it so bad, but I am holding off until I get a job so I don't get sucked in and forget to be responsible. But its a goal to get back to it the minute the other part is handled.

- pay better attention. Try harder to not adhd away when someone is talking. Find methods to be an active listener, or make sure to apologize if I slip up, and show I want to hear what I missed, so the other person can feel listened to.

- take better care of my physical form. I need to eat, and to exercise and get sunlight more. Even if I have to work up to it at my own pace, it is something I have to pursue and choose to commit to, and I want to do better than half-hearted. I don't want to be bed/house-bound, unless it is something I don't have a choice in. Do what I can without causing harm to myself, and understand where my limits are.

-Keep going. Keep going. Keep going, it can get better and it can get worse, but you have to find the reasons why it's worth it to be here to ride out the lows. Keep going. It's okay, people love you, people like you being around, you'll be okay one day. Keep going. I love you.

#tristan rambles #personal stuff #idk what this is exactly #but it feels important to write out and post here for myself #long post #LOOOONG post #if the read moore doesn't work i'll cry

[leam1983]

On Eureka Moments

There is one tiny, tiny plus-side to insomnia: the epiphanies you get when you finally manage to catch a few winks.

So, I finish my shift, clock out, term out of my Linux resources and crash into bed before supper gets going. Sarah's not tired enough to join in, but Walt is definitely leaning on his concern for me and joins in. We spoon in the way I like and soon enough, even though it takes me a while, I'm gone. Poof.

It's not long, mind you - an hour and some change before we have to cook dinner - but it's enough to strip me of that sense of distance I mentioned, earlier. Dots start to connect, and what's really fucking weird for me is that I don't so much start dreaming as I'd say I sandboxed while asleep.

It felt a little like waking up without actually waking up. I was in the same posture I'd fallen asleep in, locked in thanks to Walt's body weight and aware of the fact that I was actually in REM sleep, but the room had this hyper-vivid texture that it only gets when my brain goes hog-wild at the end of an insomnia episode. I couldn't make out anything out of the noises coming from the living room, as speech and sound were as distorted as they usually are in my dreams. What still made sense, however, were my own thoughts.

This is a longboi, folks. Clicky if you dare.

I started going over the root causes of my insomnia, starting with the fact that I had to play IT Goon for six small dealerships staffed with reticent, tech-adverse fuddy duddies and dudebros who really just wanted something to run their CRM resources and the occasional instance of Google Chrome. I have to field everything from keyboards no longer working to printers going on the fritz to login credentials with big dealerships' own Finance portals no longer being valid - all of it while keeping an eye on our Linux-using Call Centre employees, listening in on calls, taking briefs from our Marketing department (basically one gal plus Walt) and occasionally physically schlepping campaign material - albeit with some help - because most manufacturers are a bit averse to the idea of dealerships passing resources around externally.

Simplified, that gives me two large task groups:

Network Admin

The Nuclear Football, as I call my laptop that's intermittently crammed with marketing-level campaign plans that dealerships treat like they're handing us a hydrogen bomb. That mostly involves carrying it to the dealerships involved, giving it network access, transferring the relevant files and walking the staff through their resources.

I only really administer the Call Center stuff, and anything Network Admin might be involved, it doesn't drive me as stir-crazy as reassuring a bunch of Boomers and non-tech-savvy Millennials that we do, indeed, have their parent company's provided resources on-hand.

That part, and everything related to their fucking PC installs, I could do remotely - either with Microsoft Azure or Windows Server Edition 20XX.

I'm sleeping on three of my most important certifications because the people I work for are too risk-averse to realize we could just drop everything on a remote server and walk them through everything with a video call or two. Everything short of physical hardware failure, I can handle or control using a Windows Server hub and the most wonderful tool known to man, which is known as the Fucking Group Policy Editor. Pair that with a few hires we keep in-house at each dealership, and I could set things up so I never need to leave my home office ever again.

Ever. Again.

No scheduling conflicts, no waffling about because my Paratransport ride is late, no depending on Walt or Sarah when the short bus isn't convenient or fast enough.

There's just one hitch - money. I can set up a would-be master server and rope every single of our dealerships and every single of their PC installs under a single server's wing within a week or two, give or take a few days for unplanned events. Even simpler, I could do the same with Azure. Option 1 requires a wee bit more cash on the Infrastructure part but could mostly be one-and-done if we're willing to be smart about it, Option 2 requires tossing money at Microsoft on a monthly basis, at no extra power cost or space management worries for us.

Then, there's the unavoidable warts and blemishes. I'd need to image everyone's workstations across our dealerships, format their entire fleet and then rebuild everything using these images and WSE's Deployment Tools. I can't do this on weekdays, these guys have promos to run - and there's weekends where I can't do it either. Our Mercedes joint is expecting visitors by Canada Day, for instance. It's time-consuming, I'd need to plan it out with them and any time I spend setting up someone's server-based clone of their previous Windows install is time I can't spend doing anything else.

Ergo, that needs to happen during a massive holiday. The only one that fits the bill is Christmas.

Then, there's the fact that I need some leeway now. I need to go back to a decent sleep schedule starting yesterday. I can't just hold on, grit my teeth and expect to hold on for six months of this; I'll keel over before Halloween if nothing changes.

But, the fun thing with luxury dealerships is that they tend to give themselves off-weeks when sales ramp down seasonally. That includes mid-July.

I wake up with a start and, barely lucid, ring up our Mercedes and Audi clients. Confirmed: they're aiming for a ramp-down of their operations in mid-July. I briefly expose my plans, set up a Web meeting, and spend the last twenty minutes of what should've been my nap explaining to two befuddled Sales Directors that I'm about to propose gaining complete control over their infrastructure, with the included benefit of a drag-and-drop common directory where I'd simply organize promo materials as we obtain them. I could even use it to deliver patches that come to us in binaries, as a few do apply. Their on-site guys could handle printer clogs or dying USB ports, I'd take care of and automate most of everything that's software-based.

And, what I didn't tell them, is that I'd even be able to finally restrict Sales reps from unnecessary account privileges, which could make the occasional case of disciplinary action even more occasional. You can't loaf around at work watching PornHub on the job if there's a rule in place that specifically includes it in a list of banned addresses and IP ranges...

I know how it sounds - it's basic fucking barebones IT stuff, it's the fucking bedrock of Network Admin, maybe one or two rungs above CompTIA resources - but you'd be surprised at how many dealerships have exactly zero administration. They don't see the need; they're car guys with maybe one or two Web apps of choice, if any! As to why I didn't think of it earlier, it's mostly because it's not technically my job. Walt, Sarah and I distribute and manage promotional material and help dealerships to keep up with user retention and analytics. We do everything a Sales Director should do, except most Sales Directors are usually tied up with their local Karens complaining about the Service department's mechanics.

So what if we gave them an infrastructure? What if we air-gapped it, made it easily reproducible and deployable, and made it so working with us only means looking at a slightly different Windows login screen, before starting your workday?

If this works, we'll expand our services and solve most of my problems. Salesguy McGee's computer ain't worth shit? No prob, just clone his install, nuke the base, reinstall from the clone and spend a few minutes mothering it to make sure you haven't imported previously-observed bugs.

I mentioned Azure, but I know our guys won't want to contribute to a cloud budget. Again, they're tech-averse and think using the cloud means you're at the mercy of a Redmond or Seattle-based server outage. Psychologically, they'll want the comfort of their own spinning rust and SSDs. If I've got that WSE server I mentioned, it's no skin off my teeth.

So, while Walt was trying to follow along, I tried for my most diplomatic cough imaginable.

"I'd, uh, need another 20K for our IT budget. Six of 'em would go for a WSL license, the rest would go for maybe two extra 2U units over at the office."

I thought Walt would protest, but he just gave me a level look. "Will that help you sleep?"

I shrugged. "At the end of a somewhat lengthy process, sure. Relief's going to count for something, though, and I'm pretty much guaranteed to sleep like a baby tonight if you approve."

Boss Walt reacted first, by giving me a shoulder clasp. "Purchase approved. You've got our card, make it happen starting Monday."

Then followed Boyfriend Walt, who pulled me into a hug. "You're going to have to walk me through this, though - this is black magic to me."

Sarah, who'd caught wind of my WSE for Dummies talk, stopped by before heading into the kitchen. "He means he wants to be Emperor Palpatine, hon," she joked. "Ultimate power, Force lightning, no idiots being so much as able to install unsigned software on their machines, lockable USB ports - the works. You're the only one who'd need to keep visiting our guys in-person. The real challenge is going to involve letting a bunch of unaffiliated dealerships share the same basic server architecture, and even that's not too complicated."

I parted with a frayed, and possibly half-mad little laugh. "Holy shit, I'm gonna sleep tonight!"

Sometimes, one of the perks of insomnia is being able to take a few steps away from your professional bugbears and your clients' weirdo and inefficient methodology - and remembering the skillsets you actually paid for.

#work post #IT post #warning: wall of text #wall of text #loooong post #long post

[nyxokal]

I have been using the same format for two years and I don't care. Anyway here's my art summary, more thoughts under the cut!!

For starters I have only been doing digital art for like, two years now?? I'm still really new at it and I don't know how to do it properly so it kind of sucks still. And oftentimes I just wanna draw my blorbos so I don't particularly care much abt my art but yeah

Anyways, January and February I just focused on drawing fun dnd things!! I like em. By March though I had a pretty fucking nasty Incident where I lost use of my right arm for about a month and all I had for that month was a doodle I drew WHILE my arm was in pain. Never do that, it sucks

I healed though and by April I finally got to do more stuff again, still focusing on my Blood Hunter Lucien the most. I like that piece. It's on my blog. I barely did much in May and June bc I think that's when I got Consumed by Elden Ring, but I drew my dnd ship arolu (May) and my Tarnished whom I made into a backup character (June). His name is Corpse. Maybe someday I'll upload that picture

July comes and I manage to draw something before my arm goes back to fucked up. So after that piece there, I took it easy. August I barely drew and only had a fun lil piece where Lucien swapped outfits w his party members, and September I BARELY drew bc I had to go on a business trip for the whole month. The one I drew there tho is my RO Hunter, Cynn

By October I wanted to do Halloween pieces but couldn't, but I redesigned Lucien for the in-game winter months!! Took a month to get that outfit down tho. November I was already in Jojo hell so I drew Kakyoin, but I barely drew more bc I once again left on a business trip. So December I have so far only drawn two things, and I got lucky I wanted to draw these past two days at all, with the piece for December being the most recent (I finished it today)

Overall I dunno if my art improved, but I did draw less. I draw when I feel like it though which means sometimes I just Do Not, so I don't mind not drawing more

Anyways that's about it. For reference, here are 2020 and 2021's summaries, just to have them here for myself

I do like how you can see when I got into dnd (March more or less) and who my obsession was (Zelos) here lmao. Anyways this was the year I got my first tablet!! Which I still use today. And therefore the art here just sucks

And this was a very fun year where I drew a LOT and a lot of varied things but do not be fooled I still only drew Lucien ever

#textpost #shit art or shart #loooong post

[fatmclassic]

Your review of DF made me log into Tumblr after several years--I've followed this blog from the sidelines for the past 5+ years, so please never stop! But I agree with your review. And I was even wondering if, at 26, I was finding it hard to like/get excited about new music, too. HBHBHB has always been my favorite album. It's concise, thought out, and has pop sensibility. DF really shows how much she's grown as a writer, but it's still so demo-y. She has taken to this spoken word/wandering

Dunno why the message got broke up into 3 parts but thanks! I'm not as active, focusing on early stuff does limit me but glad you enjoy it.

I've noticed the same with HAH, lot's of people loved it but it definitely is lowest in most people's album ranks I've noticed. I never saw the same desperate defence of it like with Solar Power though. I like it, but rarely revisit it aside from Big God. It's something you need to listen to as a whole to appreciate and that's something I rarely do. It is a nice album that shows she can do restraint and not hide behind metaphors, but as I always say, I don't listen to her for that. And I kind of get pissed off that critics always bitched about her lack of restraint or dramatic imagery, like if you want personal songs on an acoustic guitar go and listen to Laura Marling or something.

I've kind of wondered if HAH was an attempt to show critics and people who endlessly complain about 'foghorn florence' as sort of 'yeah, I can do delicate, stripped down confessional songs, now fuck off'. That's what came to mind when I listened to Restraint, although it's probably about something personal.

I've gone back today to her old albums to find what exactly my problem is with newer album's production and I've come to a bit of a controversial conclusion.

Firstly, in these older albums, everything sounds good and most importantly, you can hear everything properly. It sounds expensive, and there has been accusations of being too slick, overproduced, too polished blah blah but it all sounds great in it's own right. No matter how huge the song, I can hear the harp, I can hear the choirs, the synths, the strings etc. She is never, on any of the songs I played, drowned out by the band. It made live performances exciting, because she played with the songs in a lot of way, like drumming song with the keyboard parts emphasised for example. Then I listened to Big God, one of the better produced songs on HAH and I remember being surprised when it said it featured a saxophone player because i sure as fuck didn't hear it until it was pointed out and you have to listen out for it.

Now for my controversial bit. I think Florence herself having a bigger hand in production might have something to do with it. She herself is a performer first and foremost. She can see how these songs will sound on a stage, and probably creates them from that angle. I started thinking this when I noticed how fucking good songs like Patricia sounded live. It was a lighbulb moment nearly, like 'Oh so this is what it's supposed to be'. And then after seeing, it live, HAH felt even more flat. Whereas the other albums were mainly produced by people who are there to make a good album, that sounds good in it's own right, not just on stage, because that is their fulltime job. How she can play them on stage isn't really their problem, and Florence has recently come out and said Ceremonials is an exhausting album to perform, especially Spectrum. I always remember watching live performances during the Ceremonials era and getting frustrated with how often she'd change things, let the choir do a lot of heavy lifting or do a lot of holding the mic out but I can understand why.

Now this could all be bullshit. I don't produce music and Florence has always said she knows what her sound is and has always quite a lot of input and control even before HAH. And that theory doesn't explain things getting drowned out.

#loooong post