#LOSING MYSELF IN AMERICA PROJECT

[oomisluvr]

No Caller ID

Your job at The Agency was simple. In fact, there was only one rule: Don’t lose track of your field agent. Unfortunately for you, Agent K is a difficult man to find.

warnings: agent!sakusa x handler!reader, international espionage, i was going for a james bond vibe, no graphic violence but there is a teeny bit of violence, hq! cameos that aren’t important to the story but i thought were fun to include, open ending i think, flirting (???), honestly freeform, i wrote this in 1 sitting lol, sfw, 1.8k words!

You’re on a date the first time he calls you. 

The guy you’re out with is nice. Doesn’t interrupt you. Asks about your day. Laughs at all your jokes and pretends not to look down your shirt while the two of you eat. He works in IT, so you know he’s fairly well-off, too. 

It’s too bad this is just to keep up appearances.

Your phone rings with no caller ID and you have to stop your eyes from bulging out of your head. In this line of work, it’s best to keep personal calls separate from ongoing projects. For organization reasons. For safety precautions.

It’s for this reason that you have two cell phones. The first is for private calls, to keep up with the life your current alibi would be living. The second phone is for The Agency.

And you’ve never received a call from your second phone before.

You excuse yourself from the table with a practiced smile, adjusting your clothing as you stand. Your date nods. Understanding, as expected. He didn’t notice that you took your purse with you. He must think you’re coming back.

Exiting the restaurant, you pick up the phone with a nervous hand, unsure of what to expect, “This is Pluto speaking.”

“Pluto? Who the fuck is that?” A man’s voice grunts, panting loudly and very obviously out of breath, “What happened to Rin?” 

You clear your throat, “Rin has since left The Agency. I’m Pluto, his replacement.”

“That bastard. You’ve gotta be fucking kidding–” Sharp pops echo through the speaker. Possibly gunshots. The cursing that follows suggests that those were most likely gunshots. Everything is so loud.

“Agent K, if you’re requesting for backup, I can send over the twins–”

“Absolutely not. No backup, especially not from them.” Based on proximity, you can tell it’s K who fires next. Two quick rounds, followed by two dull thuds. Bullseye? “Everything is under control. Get me to Croatia before midnight tomorrow.”

The call ends.

The second time he calls you is to complain about the first time.

You defend yourself with all the aggression of a caged circus bear.

K quickly learns not to complain about your work.

Two months pass. 

Your job at The Agency was simple.

Fortunately, there was only one rule: Don’t lose track of your field agent.

Unfortunately for you, Agent K is a difficult man to find.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up!” You scream into the phone. You’ve combed through the security feeds of every private business, traffic cam, and ATM machine, but still no sight of him.

The ringing stops, an easy voice floating through the phone, “Hello?”

“Why the fuck aren’t you in Buenos Aires?” You all but yell, “I’ve been searching for you for hours.” It’s silent on the other end of the receiver. You continue your verbal assault, “Are you even in Argentina? In South America at all?”

K snorts. “Where do you think I am?”

You’re furious, “How did you leave the airport without me knowing? I booked your tickets myself. I made the passport you’re using–”

“Don’t worry about it.” He cuts you off, “Do you really want to know where I am?”

His tone calms you, just long enough to answer, “Yes.”

“A baby shower.”

“A… baby shower?” You repeat dumbly.

“Well, I’m not physically at the baby shower, that would be a breach of contract. I’m sitting in an unmarked car, about 100 feet from the festivities. Watching my little sister open her gifts. She doesn’t even know I’m here.” He sighs, and it’s so different from anything else you’ve heard from him. “Nobody does.”

People who do what K does rarely ever have families. Alive, that is. You wonder how old he was when he left home, if his parents know what he does for a living. If they even know he’s alive. 

Instead you ask, “Will you be having a niece or a nephew?”

He chuckles to himself, but it’s humorless. Empty. “That’s what I’m waiting to find out. I think the reveal is after they cut the cake. My sister is greedy enough to make everyone wait.”

You’re silent for a moment, at a genuine loss of words. The silence feels comfortable, and whether you’d like to admit it or not, you’ve gotten attached to Agent K. Fond, even. Just knowing he’s on the other end of the line, alive and breathing and not being shot at, gives you an enormous sense of relief.

You stare into the monitors ahead of you, at the sheer number of tabs you’ve opened, the energy you expended to make sure he’s safe.

“How did you get into this line of work?”

“Me?”

“Yes,” you can hear the sarcasm dripping from his voice, “You.” 

Nobody has ever asked you that. Nobody is allowed to ask that, you think. “I had an internship the summer after I graduated. My boss at the time has some sort of connection to The Agency. She said I should apply and that she’d put in a good word. My interview was the next day, and I was officially hired by the end of the month.”

It’s silent for a beat, “You do realize you failed the test, right?”

“Excuse me?”

“You aren’t supposed to divulge any personal information to me or any other agents,” He quips, “Especially not any information regarding The Agency.”

“Well,” You start, “You aren’t supposed to run away from missions and lie to your handler about where you are!”

K laughs. An actual laugh. “Touche. Though I’m not running away from anything. This is simply… a brief layover.”

“Whatever. I’ve already booked you a flight from Hyogo to Buenos Aires.”

“You’re sharp, Pluto.” There’s pleasant surprise in his voice, and pride flares in your veins at having caught him off guard, “How’d you know I was in Japan?”

“Don’t worry about it.” You repeat his own words back to him, “Your flight leaves at 8:30PM, Japan Standard Time. Think you can make it by then?”

“Yes, ma’am.” K huffs, “Is that all?”

“Yeah,” you say, “And I’ll be sure not to include this ‘brief layover’ in my reports.”

“Thank you.” He says, and you can tell it’s genuine. For a moment, you feel appreciated, before he adds, “And from now on, please refrain from using fishing boats as a means of escape.”

“Give me enough of a heads up and I won’t have to.” You fight back a smile, recalling your first encounter, and the angry call you got 16 hours later, “But if you ever lie to me again about where you are, I’m leaving you stranded.” It’s a lie. In reality, if it came between you and him, you’re the expendable one. 

“Deal.” He confirms, “Oh, and, Pluto?”

“Yes?”

“It seems like I’ll be having a niece.”

These days, your phone never stops ringing. Your second phone, that is.

“Where are you?” He preens through the phone. It’s the last question you’re expecting. You’re at a cocktail dinner for your job. The fake one. The one that The Agency placed you at to keep up appearances.

“Company dinner. Is there anything I can help you with?”

You’ve leaned over the balcony, nursing something with too much sugar and not enough alcohol. The venue is beautiful, probably some millionaire’s summer home, resting on a lavish hill and overlooking the ocean. The party blazes loudly behind you, a stark contrast to the stillness of the sea.

“Yeah. There is, actually.” He decides, “What are you wearing?”

“Excuse me?”

“Your clothes.” His voice is so smooth, sentences dancing off his tongue like a lullaby. “You’re wearing a purple dress, right? Say, is that silk?”

Your breath catches in your throat, your body suddenly alert at the implication of being watched, “Yes,” you find your voice again, making subtle movements to analyze your surroundings, “It was my mother’s.”

He hums, and part of you can hear a smirk in his voice, “Thought so.”

It bothers you that you’ve no clue what he looks like. How many times have you run into him without knowing? K was one of the most talented of this generation, able to adopt and shed identities as if they were clothing, able to blend into any crowd at any time, more dangerous than any traditional weapon. How many times has he been a friendly face on the street, a shadowy figure at the bar, and you simply had no idea?

“On your left.”

A man approaches you, dressed handsomely in a well-tailored suit. Shaggy orange hair falls into his bright eyes. His footsteps are quiet, practiced, holding a corsage in his right hand. 

Without sparing a moment, he transfers the flowers from his grasp to yours before spinning on his heels and disappearing into the crowd once again. Your words die in the back of your throat.

The corsage is simple, but pretty. Purple petals to compliment your dress. Tied around it is a small gift box. You return your attention to the phone, “What’s this?”

“A thank you.” He says, “And an apology. And something else. Open it.”

You do. It’s a cartier bracelet, thousands of dollars worth of gold. You flip it over to find your name engraved into the metal. Your real name. You gasp.

“Congratulations on the promotion.” He says your name so differently than anyone has ever said it. You trace the letters in your palm, just faint enough that only you would notice. Just faint enough that you could keep it, and not have it jeopardize your position.

“Just doing my job.” You conveniently left out that the company celebration was for you. Well, you and the five other people who received promotions this quarter. Of course K would find out.

”Don’t get smart with me,” He groans, “But consider it an apology as well. I would have loved to be there with you tonight. You’re brilliant, and I’m lucky to have you on my team.”

You idly watch the yachts float by, some illuminated with neon lights, and some brightened with floodlights. If you squint, you can make out the fishing boat just barely kissing the shore. And the shadowy figure perched upon it.

“Don’t feel bad,” You hum, “Something tells me you aren’t too far off.”

“Goodnight, Pluto.”

“Goodnight, K.”

The call ends. 

You clip the corsage around your wrist and return to the party.

i though this would be a fun little story! ok bye love as always, niko ♡

#i feel like i def fucked up the pacing #sorry #sakusa kiyoomi #kiyoomi sakusa #sakusa x reader #sakusa #msby sakusa #kiyoomi #haikyuu #msby #haikyuu sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #haikyuu fluff #sfw #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fic #haikyu x reader

[bethanythebogwitch]

Wet Beast Wednesday: Amazonian river dolphin

It's the last Wet Beast Wednesday of the year. I started doing this little project to help myself get used to Tumblr and encourage myself to use it more often. That absolutely worked and I'm going to keep going. For my first ever WBW post, I discussed an adorable cetacean, so I'm going to call back to that by discussing a less adorable cetacean. Meet the Amazonian river dolphin, also known as the boto, bufeo, and pink dolphin because, well look at it.

(image id: an Amazonian river dolphin peeking out of the water. It is a large dolphin with a long, thin snout, bulbous head, and small dorsal fin. Its entire body is bright pink. end id)

River dolphins are dolphins the exclusively inhabit freshwater. There are several species (from four to six depending on your source) that are not all closely related. Probably the most famous of these is the Amazonian river dolphin Inia geoffrensis. They live in the Amazon, Orinoco, and upper Maderia rivers of South America. There are three subspecies: I. g. geoffrensis (the Amazon river dolphin), I. g. humboldtiana (the Orinoco river dolphin), and I. g. boliviensis (the Bolivian river dolphin, previously considered a separate species). There is also debate on whether the Araguaian river dolphin should be considered a subspecies of Amazonian river dolphin or a separate species. A common name for the dolphins found throughout Brazil is boto, though this is also used to refer to another river dolphin species, the tucuxi, as well as marine dolphins that occasionally enter fresh or brackish water. The amazonian river dolphins is the largest river dolphin, with males reaching 2.5 meters (8.2 ft) and 185 kg (408 lbs). Males are larger than females, averaging 16% longer and 55% heavier. The most famous feature of these dolphins are their color. while they are born grey, they lighten up as they age, eventually becoming pink. The amount of pink varies between individuals, with some being grey with pick spots and others going full Barbie mode. It's not clear why they turn pink and why some are pinker than others. Possible explanations include the distribution of capillaries under the skin, consuming large amounts of pink pigment through their diet (the same thing that happens with flamingos), and exposure to sunlight. Males are generally pinker than females, which may be due to them accumulating larger amounts of pink scar tissue while fighting over females. The dolphins get noticeably pinker when they are excited, which may be similar to a human blushing.

(Image id: a dolphin holding its head out of the water, seen from the front. Its mouth is partly open, showing a single row of teeth within. It is pink. end id)

Amazonian river dolphins are not known for being the prettiest cetaceans. With long, skinny shouts, lumpy bodies, non-distinct dorsal fins, and scarred, rough skin, they won' be winning many beauty contests. Maybe its for the best that they don't have very good eyesight. When living in a place as murky as a major river, eyes often aren't that useful. They instead navigate almost exclusively through echolocation. While not as powerful as they eyes of oceanic dolphins, river dolphin eyes are adapted to take in any available light, letting them see better in low-light environments such as a murky river under a canopy of leaves. The bulbous head contains the melon, an organ found in cetaceans used for echolocation. The melon can change shape, which may help focus the echolocation for different purposes. Part of the lumpy profile of the boto likely comes from their lack of blubber. Living in a tropical river means that river dolphins don't lose nearly as much body heat and therefore don't need the thick layer of blubber that helps streamline oceanic dolphins. They also don't need to be as hydrodynamic as they are a lot slower than oceanic dolphins. While slow, river dolphins are maneuverable and can rotate their flippers to turn themselves around without having to swim in a circle. In addition, unlike oceanic dolphins, the boto's neck vertebrate are unfused, allowing them to turn their head side to side. All of this helps the dolphins navigate and search for food in crowded rivers and flooded sections of forest. Another unique feature is the presence of whiskers on their snouts and cheeks, which are believed to help find food when poking around in the mud and aquatic plants. Yet another unique feature is the fact that they are heterodonts. This means they have different types of teeth. In the front of the snouts are the sharp, conical teeth found in other dolphins, but the uniquely have molar-like teeth in the back. These are used to crush hard prey, such as shellfish and turtles.

(image: a dolphin partially breaching out of the water while upside-down. Its large fins are in the air and its head is turned soits chin is facing the camera. end id)

The diet of the Amazonian river dolphin is the most varied of any toothed cetacean. At least 53 species of fish are part of its diet, though it prefers croakers, chiclids, tetras, and piranhas. As mentioned above, its molar-like teeth also allow it to crush through hard-shelled animals including bivalves, crabs, and turtles. They have been known to cooperate with tucuxi dolphins and otters to hunt, with the different animal working together to drive fish out of hiding places. The dolphins practice seasonal migration to follow their prey. During the wet season, they travel into floodplains, lakes, flooded parts of forests, swamps, and other places that are inaccessible during the dry season. During the dry season, they travel back into the main river. Males return to the river sooner that females and calves. The dolphins are less social than other dolphins, usually traveling alone or in groups of 2-4 members, though larger groups do happen. They do communicate with each other using whistles. During mating season, which usually happens in late June or August, they will congregate in large numbers. Males attempt to court females by carrying objects in their mouths such as branches and leaves and by nipping at the female's fins. Males also become aggressive and will fight with other females and with females that refuse their advances. These fight often leave the males covered in scars and nicks that can be used by scientists to identify them. Males will attempt to mate with as many females as possible. Gestation takes just under a year and calves are born in May and June as the wet season is beginning. The calves will nurse for a year and stay with their mother for two to three years. Females will not mate until their current calf has left, giving a mating frequency for females of between 2 and 3 years. Males may attack calves to force the mother to mate again. The life expectancy of wild dolphins is unknown.

(image id: a dolphin holding a leaf in its mouth. This may be part of a courtship display or play behavior. end id)

Amazonian river dolphins are known to be curious, playful, and not fearful of unfamiliar objects. This may because adults have almost no natural predators. Jaguars, caimans, and anacondas will attack them, but prefer targeting calves over adults. They are known to play with sticks, plants, small animals, and other submerged objects. They are also reported to follow boats and rub up against them and grab oars with their mouths. This may be a combination of play behavior and following boats to catch fish they scare. River dolphins have also been reported to approach humans, usually children, and examine or play with them. Botos feature quite a bit in the mythology and folklore of the peoples of South America. A common myth states that the boto can come on shore at night and take the form of a human, a boto encatado. While appearing as beautiful people, they need to wear hats as their blowholes stay on their heads. Male encantados come to shore to party and seduce women, but must return to the river before the transformation wears off. Many illegitimate children are fathered when an encantado comes to town. Female encantados seduce and bewitch married men. She will visit him on the anniversary of their meeting for seven years. On the seventh year, she turns him into a baby and places him in his wife's womb. Some stories say that they come from an underwater paradise called Encante and visit humans to experience hardships and parties. It is said that people who travel the river at night, especially women and children, may be kidnapped by the dolphins and taken to Encante, from which they will never return. Other stories say that the dolphins can make beautiful music and control storms. Killing one brings bad luck, and eating one brings worse luck, while making eye contact curses you with nightmares. Their body parts had magic powers and were sometimes used as fetishes (not that kind) by shamans.

(image: a man with back to the camera hand-feeding a fish to a dolphin. end id)

Amazonian river dolphins are classified as endangered by the IUCN. Their largest threats come from humans. Overfishing leads to food loss and can lead to the dolphins becoming entangled in nets and drowning. Damming reduced their habitat and excess gold mining releases poisonous mercury into the water. Some are also killed to be used as bait. Fishermen have been known to kill dolphins who damage their equipment. Deforestation is also decreasing usable habitat. Amazonian river dolphins fare poorly in captivity and captive breeding is not considered a viable conservation method.

(image id: a dolphin calf being rescued by a conservationist. the person is holding it out of the water. The dolphin has the same body shape as an adult, but is grey instead of pink).

#wet beast wednesday #amazonian river dolphin #amazon river dolphin #river dolphin #pink dolphin #boto #dolphin #cetacean #freshwater biology #freshwater ecology #amazon river #biology #zoology #ecology #animal facts #cetaceans #boto encantado #encantado #image described #long post

[aristia-pjoheadcanons]

Hi! Sorry for bothering, but I was wondering if you could make some headcanons of Jason dating a daughter of Hecate who loves reading (after he breaks up with Piper), please?

I belong to cabin 20th and it's kind of bad that there isn't much representation of these demigods on the fandom 😓

Thank you so much because your amazing headcanons are making the waiting for the series release so much bearable 😊

Lots of love, take care 🫶🏼

authors note: oh my gosh, daughter of hecate? yes, please. I headcanon myself as a child of hecate too y'know.

pairings: jason grace x hecate reader

warnings: none

->masterlist

Jason Grace dating a Child of Hecate

art by Viria

Jason Grace is not a difficult guy, he just slightly complex when it comes to the way he shows he cares for others.

Since Hecate is basically the goddess of sorcery, magic, and everything in that box - you're abilities are quite open and great. A child of HECATE WOULD BE VERY USEFUL IN BATTLE, considering the fact that their magic leaves them pretty flexible and open.

Jason is a strategist, he plans ahead of time and can think of a lot of plans with just your powers. a formiddle force the two of you make

the two of you cause a storm whenever you fight

i imagine that he is somewhat quiet, even if he is a leader he's not as socially outward as you think. he is social, but it takes time for him to warm-up. he puts people in categorizes on how much of his plans can he tell them, and how much can he not. but with you, he shares everything.

he wants you to be comfortable. feeling at home, somewhere safe, is a dream jason has in his mind. he dreams of the future with you. he is a protecter, a fierce one, not minding if he has to bare his teeth in order to do so - he doesnt even mind hurting his own reputation since he can fix it quickly.

im sorry, but i see jason as a parallell captain america, i cant help but imagine him in that costume. make him dress up as him during halloween.

sweet, caring and daring. he isnt the most bold with pda, kissing or touching you the way percy might do. but he is willing to take the leap of faith to kiss you when the moment is right, subconsciously find a place for the two of you so he can kiss you in private. he prefers the idea of a solitute that is safe.

i feel like when he fell for you he'd give you a nice small smile from time to time, and he kept doing it everytime you made eye-contact since you gave him that beautiful smile back.

charming, not just because of his leader position (which makes him hot and commanding ngl), but because he is confident in his movements even if its techniqally his "first time".

this guy is both an owl and a chameleon

his way of showing he likes you is keeping an eye on you. he knows better than anyone that people need space, especially him. but he likes to analyze the type of person you are and what type of character you have. if you are a very touchy, cheerful, charismatic person then he wouldn't mind switching and copying that to become closer to you.

this guy has no issue changing the personality he has, because to him it doesn't change who he is. his goals, accomplishments are all the same. he is kind-off used to change. lupa's training program, romans making him a preator when he didn't really want that position, becoming a hero, losing his memories, loving piper and losing her, joining camp half-blood and staying there from time to time, learning how to become friends with different people - even if he is similar to them ex. annabeth and percy.

sorry if i'm projecting my personal hc of my oc, but i like the idea of being able to summon monsters from card decks ex. mythomagic. like monsters from the dead/necromancy (that you/your team has killed) or being able to summon anything from a card that has a picture of the entity ex. minotaur.

they can use shadows to create a barrier as a shield or a barrier of invinsibility.

jinxes, hexes and curses similar to harry potter can be casted. the time you hexed someone bc they insulted your friend was the day you heard jason grace laugh with his loud voice.

when jason laughs you can hear his chest and throat vibrate. idk how to explain it other than it being manly.

cursing their opponents to make them weaker, forcing their opponents to relieve a really embarassing moment in their life which will make them frozen on the spot.

jasons voice has a deep timbre, its kind of gruff in situations where hes holding back his anger or frustration - he really has trained subconsciously to make his voice steady.

the deep timbre can be intimidating since when he speaks, his voice has a sense of authority and dephr that commands respect.

his voice can be very gentle and sweet and soothing, but sometimes a little too loud. i feel like he cant really whisper. his voice is deep that the sound carries through the air since his voice has a natural badd-heavy quality to it. which makes his voice more loud, enhanced in a way, especially in enclosed spaces, small rooms or inside of a car because his voice resonates and the sound travels farther.

his assertivness disappears slightly when he speaks to you. tbh its pleasurable when he speaks in your ear its just to easy to close your eyes and relax when he talks.

why do i feel like he can crush an apple with his hands? either way, he has a big heart which is bigger than his biceps.

because hes so reflective he asks deep questions, dont be surprised if you end up talking to him for more than 4 hours, he is very attentive and sensitive to your body language - alwasy reading them to make sure you're enjoying the conversation.

when things get tough, he will place a warm palm on the center of your back as a way to reassure you but also to reassure himself that you're okay.

he asks thoughtful questions and is keen to learn more about your connection to the underworld. combining forces would be great but he understand if you're not much of a fighter (not all people are), hes willing to carry you if you do end up fighting.

i feel like he is such a supportive person, through his own ways. he takes time in learning about the way you like doing things, but also what is the best corse of action for you. hes willing to lay down a plan or a schedule to make studying easier for you for example.

he provides feedback that is quite honest but in a caring and supportive manner. also when he demonstrates his swordmanship you cant help but look at how much of a skilled soldier he is, his techniques are extraordinary but also has a sense of ownership to it, he has taken time to disect and make some of the steps his quirks, so some things you cant keep up with. while percy is very flexible and agile with his sword, jason is forceful and dependable, his raw power mixed with his passion makes it easy for him to win any fight : its similar to a storm, furious and you dont realise that it has caught you inside of it until its too late.

he helps you with the mechanics if the movements of any weapon. bow&arrows, swords, daggers. he might not use a bow but he has memorizes the textbook-form and can correct you just fine. he radiates confidence even when he doesnt feel that way, which is both inspiring and truly sad that he feels like he has to act refined and perfect, almost like a "prince" in public.

he likes to read the same books that you read to try to understand you better but also to have something to talk about

he would make his bedroom / dorm as comfortable as possible for your reading purposes. like adding a bookshelf or getting blankets and tea/coffee that you like. he makes an effort to provide. that is his love language.

he is interested in his partner's ideas and interpretations of the books they read, and enjoys hearing your throughs on different topics.

he respects your qualtity and peaceful time and dont mind leaving you alone when you're reading. but is willing to sit there for hours quietly letting you do your thing. if you cuddle with him, hell put his glasses on and read above your shoulder, lean in and you can feel his hot breath against your neck.

he needs time after he breaks things off with piper, but eventually he heals and moves on. his heart is complete and whole again and makes a better effort to keep this relationship lasting, and protected.

#pjo #percy jackson scenarios #greek mythology #percy jackson headcanons #percy jackson #jason grace headcanon #jason grace #heros of olympus #jason grace pjo #pjo jason #percy jackson tv show #pjo tv show #percy tv show #jason grace headcanons #foryou #percy jackson masterlist

[scullysexual]

Spooky Mulder's UFO Club.

After losing a bet, Scully is forced to join Spooky Mulder’s UFO Club. (actually it’s called The Study of Unexplained Phenomena Project, and it’s a class not a club, but whatever) Ridiculed throughout the school by students and staff alike, Scully wants to get it over with as soon as she can and come “back down to earth” when a class trip up to Alaska, to do their own investigations into the mysterious deaths of four hikers, finds them stranded with an unknown virus wreaking havoc and a woods that becomes its own entity at night, Scully realises this dumb little class packs a lot more horror than she bargained for.

---

Based on the Dyatlav Pass Incident, this is an idea that me and one of my friends have had for a while. While this is solely written by myself, I do have her to thank for the idea to turn it into a fic.

Despite having four chapters already written I'm not sure if I'll ever post the rest. If you'd like to see more in the future then please do let me know as that will contribute a lot in my decision.

This fic is a high school au (because I cannot write a normal case file to save my life) It features an Ethan/Scully ship and has brief mentions of bi-polar disorder. I also know nothing about American school or America in general. This is unbetaed but so much fun to write.

@today-in-fic

Why she had agreed to come here, she has no idea. It wasn’t like her presence would be missed if her current situation was anything to go by: stood in the corner of the kitchen, drinking subpar alcohol that tasted more like piss than the fruity cocktail it was supposed to resemble, and being ignored by virtually everyone around her. She should leave, could leave, nobody would stop her…except she didn’t have a car to drive herself home in. Dana rolls her eyes, the anger shimmering in her chest as she revisits the argument she’d only just had with her father before she’d left for the party. Ultimately, he didn’t think she needed one, she had him, her mother, and even BJ to drive her wherever she needed. Dana knew that in actual fact it was so she’d stay under his thumb, know where she was, and more importantly, who she was with. With her own car, she’d be free to go when she liked and her father had made that mistake with her sister: On her seventeenth birthday Melissa had been gifted a car and a year later she’d used it to drive herself down to California to be with her girlfriend without a word said to anyone. How Dana wished her sister had taken her with her.

The worse part of it all, she knew how to drive but after Melissa’s escape it was Dana who had suffered the consequences. Even sharing with BJ was out of the question after a Manic Missy episode had left BJ’s car busted in a ditch. It had been the funds for Dana’s car that had brought BJ his new one. Instead, she relied on Ethan to ferry her around, something she knew he hated.

In fact, Ethan was why she was here, begging her to come to this party because Marcus only turns 18 once and it’s gonna be wild. She had things to do- a Biology test to study for on Monday, and maybe, just maybe, she wanted to take some time out for herself. But Ethan had begged and nagged and perhaps muttered something about having an uncool girlfriend and no, normally she wouldn’t let a comment like that bother her but it had been Ethan who’d said it and Ethan was the one currently keeping her higher up on the high school pecking order than a geeky, ginger, and glasses-wearing girl should be. And so she had caved in, gone to this party at the behest of Ethan only to be ditched within the hour. Where the hell was he anyway?

She finds him in the living room, sat amongst his friends as they try to play beer pong and fail miserably.

“Hey Danes,” Ethan greets when he sees her. “Where’re you been this whole time?”

“Kitchen,” Dana responds and doesn’t elaborate. “Can I talk to you?”

Ethan stares at her when she says no more and fortunately gets the hint.

“Sure,” he says, standing up, wobbling a bit as he does so. He makes an effort to laugh at himself and some of his friends let out a light chuckle as he slowly manoeuvres himself around the furniture, coming towards her.

“Sup?” he asks, leaning against the wall for what Dana assumes is balance. He’s so close to her Dana can smell the same pissy drink she was drinking earlier and takes a step back in disgust.

“I want to go home,” she says plainly.

Ethan chuckles lightly. “Dana, I…” he lets out a huff of air. “I don’t think I can take you home.”

Her stomach drops as she looks at him, eyes glazed over and a stupid grin on his face. Ethan was her only ride home.

“Maybe you could ask someone els3?” Dana scoffs. “Or…or stay. Plenty of people are staying, camp out in a spare room with the girls or something…”

She doesn’t remind him of how little she knows anyone here. “It’s fine,” she says instead. “I’’ll…I’ll just walk it.”

“Dana, I can’t let you walk it.”

“Then I’ll call my dad.”

“He doesn’t know you’re here, remember.”

She stares at him for a moment.

“Could you not sober up?” she asks in a quiet voice.

“Dana…the party’s just started.”

She nods. Got it. No ride home from Ethan tonight.

“Ring this house when you get home, okay?” He starts heading back towards his friends. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“I don’t even have-“ But Ethan is gone, back to his beer pong game. “Marcus’ number…” Dana finishes. She watches him one last moment, completely ignoring her as he laughs and plays and takes another gulp of his drink, then she stalks through the crowd and out the front door.

The garden is mostly empty. With the main birthday party happening in the basement and the curtains drawn, no one would be any wiser to a bunch of high schoolers getting drunk inside. Dana sits down on a bench overlooking Marcus’ mini golf course A few stoners and those also unwanted loiter around but they ignore her as much as she ignores them. The only thing on her mind was how was she getting home.

“Marcus would be the prick to have a golf course, wouldn’t he?”

Dana turns around to the source of the voice. There stands a boy she actually recognises; tall, brown hair, sporty. The type of boy every girl (and maybe boy) would whisper about, want, a trophy boyfriend that would get them high place on the pecking order…if only he wasn’t so low himself. His reputation destroys any hope of being popular, of being wanted by any of the significant girls, so much so that Phoebe Green refuses to acknowledge a relationship between the two ever even happened. He is Spooky Mulder to pretty much everyone, a disgrace to the science world of their school, and a joke to everyone else. The sweatshirt he always wears bearing the letters TS0UP is the cause of that damning reputation.

“You don’t know who I am, do you?”

Dana regards him cooly. “I know who you are, Mulder.”

He smiles at that, a smile that would make any girl weak at the knees, but Dana stands strong, watching him with the caution of watching a bear (or a Big Foot, the creature popping into her mind but she banishes that again. What did Big Foot look like anyway?)

They shared a Psychology class together. Dana only took it because she was taking pretty much every other science, may as well tack psychology onto the list as well. Mulder, however, seemed to generally enjoy it, always listening, always doing well in tests. It was his participation that dragged his grades down, though, he never spoke, just listened. Anywhere else and that would have been endearing.

There was another time they’d met each other, however. 6th grade Geography were they had been paired together for a project. There topic was Bashful Peak in Alaska and they had spent weeks building a model of the mountain- weekends and after school spent at Mulder’s house creating it was a very fond memory Dana still had. They had done a presentation on it as well, both received an A+ for their work.

They hadn’t spoken to each other much after that, only a brief smile in the halls. When they got to high school, Dana climbed the ladder as Mulder fell, and they stopped acknowledging each other all together.

“I’m just wondering why you’re here,” Dana questions as kindly as she can. He went to less parties than she did.

Mulder shrugs. “Wanted to see what all the fuss was about, I didn’t get in the front door, though. You, however…” He cocks his head to the side. “I didn’t realise you were best friends with Marcus Shelby.”

At that she can’t help but smile.

“I’m not. Ethan…” She tries to find the words to describe. “Marcus knows of Ethan so…”

“So you got invited as a plus one. But you’re not in there, you’re out here.”

“I’m trying…I want to go home…Ethan…is- was- my ride back and…” She didn’t want to explain to a stranger that she doesn’t have a car.

“But Ethan is passed out somewhere?” Dana doesn’t say otherwise. “I’ll tell you what…” Mulder makes his way into the golf course and grabs hold of a club while still holding his drink in his other hand and holds it out for her. “Get the ball over the fence and beyond the wall, you got yourself a free ride”

Dana eyes the club and the wall nervously. “And if I don’t get it over I lose my ride?”

Mulder smiles. “I’ll still drive you-“ Relief spreads through her. “But…If I get it over you join T-soup.”

The relief vanishes. Her face drops as she eyes up his sweatshirt. Spooky Mulder’s UFO Club is a joke. No self-respecting person would ever go near it and what made it worse was it was, in fact, a class and not a club, a complete waste of school resources. He had to be kidding.

“Why?” she asks.

“Why…?”

“Why do you want me to join?”

Mulder shrugs. “I guess we could use more people who think like you. Makes it interesting.”

“No.” she outright says.

Mulder grins, undeterred. “You better hope I miss then.” He shakes the club in his hand but before Dana can grab it he pulls it back. “Just one more question. You’re not drunk, are you? I wouldn’t want you to be at a disadvantage.”

“I’m not. Are you?”

“Not a drop,” he answers.

Dana regards him. “You’re drinking,” she says, nodding to his cup.

“Orange juice.”

She doesn’t believe him.

“Try it if you don’t believe me.”

She takes the cup from his offered hand, drinking a small sip. It was orange juice. Only orange juice. She hands it back to him.

“Give me the club then.”

At the end of the day, it didn’t matter if she got the ball over the wall, she was getting her part of the deal regardless. She only starts to worry when it’s Mulder’s turn. He places the ball down, lines the club up with it as perfect as he believes it is and hits it. The ball soars over the fence, pass where Dana’s landed, all the way over to the wall.

Her heart sinks as Mulder smiles at her, unable to hide his joy.

“I’ll order you a T-soup sweatshirt as soon as possible.”

This was going to be the end of her.

#the x-files #the x files #txf fic #xfiles fanfiction #high school au #future fic ideas #scullysexualwrites

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

Okay so my general mru timetravel saga phase thing. + how I’m doing the YA.

Since I think focusing on timetravel instead of the multiverse would have been a better next saga since timetravel was set up formerly.

Also, champions and Runaways will likely feature but I need to defamiliarise myself with the comics to feel more comfortable deciding on HOW. But I’ll get to it, just not in this post.

(Ramble below the cut)

First Phase:

I would make the first phase AFTER endgame extremely chill. More grounded, focus on a smaller group of heroes and the affects of the snap. TFATWS would be my preferred first project but obviously could change when I go to write it. Maybe seven projects in all? Keep it small. Six main solo projects, an avengers team up. I want to make it clear that things aren’t running as smoothly as they could be post-Thanos, there’s a lot of tension, the team isn’t quite… teaming.

Steve shows up as cameos in TFATWS and the avengers teamup, but not to take away from the focus of Sam being the new Cap. He’s more of an… advisor. He has experience, but that’s all he’s got to offer. He’s done with the fight. I don’t think he should’ve died in endgame personally bc I think people need a main avengers to continue showing up to really keep their investment until another character proves worthy enough for focus.

Eli is the first Young Avenger to be included, which would make a whole ‘oooo Young avengers maybe??’ But he’s played off like a cameo that’s there because Isaiah is there, no need to rush into the YA.

Kamala is also showing up. Ms Marvel wouldn’t be a MAIN solo project and would be kind of hinted to be disconnected until Carol shows up in the last episode.

There will also probably be a Hawkeye series but I don’t want any of the YA to be heroes before the YA. So Kate will likely cameo but I don’t want her to be a Hawkeye yet. That’s YA stuff. It can wait.

Second Phase:

A little more funky now. The Marvels is a good guide to take for the balance of funky and grounded. Sure it’s in space but it’s a pretty typical movie, nothing too big. Of course, the marvels = Teddy introduction. I’ve not watched the movie yet (literally on the way there now) so I can’t promise how I’ll introduce him, but it’ll probably be a small ‘cameo type’ thing.

The phase starts on a lighter note but slowly degrades, the avengers are slipping apart. It ends on a Loki s1.

Introduction of Kid Loki also. And I’ll probably do Sylvie differently. But with the demolition of the sacred timeline, there comes chaos in the storyline.

Introduction of the champions might occur here, whilst things are still light and dandy. Depends on what I can swing.

Third Phase:

House of M. Wandavision, obviously, introduces the Twins. They’ll probably remain toddlers though, to keep them little and cute, plus terrible twos + superpowers would make it obvious she’s crazy when she CHOSE that. They’re the two YA introduced this phase, no America until the multiverse unfortunately.

The avengers are slowly falling apart even further, Loki s2, and then, bosh, kangs. Not THE Kang, though. Other kangs. Fighting aaa. Some avengers probably die, Scott definitely does. They win and have to fight THE Kang, don’t win, Kang escapes.

Idk how to explain my idea for that film considering I haven’t properly planned it. But, basic idea is that he WILL come back.

Phase four:

No avengers. They fell apart, like they did for infinity war. If things like this keep happening, there’s no point anymore. Womp womp everything sucks. Some people, like Sam, are trying to keep everyone together but it’s so… hard. They wonder if they’re really just making things worse. They probably are.

Yeah there are solo projects. But it’s mostly pretty dismal. They’re trying to prepare to fight kang but they know they’ll lose. In the final solo project, there’s an end credit scene. Someone in a suit appears in dark streets and picks up a loose newspaper. ‘The avengers disbanded’. In a robotic-ish voice: oh no.

And then, final avengers movie of the saga. Except… it opens up to kids being assholes and oh wait this is just an adaptation of the first Young Avengers comic with some more emphasis on the avengers. Why have a huge crossover movie when teenagers can stab people? This isn’t to say there won’t be any closure for other storylines, I just don’t think every storyline needs to end in an AVENGERS storyline. The big crossover movie will probably be phase 3’s big Kang gang up movie, with everyone fighting their own time travelling war lord. But Kang’s death belongs to Nate. So that’s how it’ll be. Other superhero team ups will probably happen. But the big bad will be slain by those who now carry the avengers torch. It’s to me the only way to actually get people interested in the Young Avengers.

Some post saga notes:

There are some things that will be included. Like fantastic four and Xmen. It’s just a little difficult to try and explain how they fit it without going into masses of detail.

The next saga will likely be multiverse based. The Young Avengers are pretty well prepped for that kind of storyline. I’ll likely reallocate TLAT to this saga. Multiverse works better for god-based movies than time travel. It’ll probably include Children’s Crusade and YA vol2 for some of the avengers movies.

#marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #mru #marvel rewrite universe #young avengers

[twiststreet]

I think there was a point in time where i’d have said “oh the months leading up to the iraq war and that era all felt way worse than this”. And i think that was true up until a point, when we were only a week or so in. Some things are just a re-run— people being demonized for not being on board, people losing their jobs, Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden being hateful skeletor death cult freaks, dumb fuck brain dead arguments about how “the terrorists will reload” if we don’t pursue some violent and reckless foreign policy, the media being a fully erect propaganda machinery that you could not trust and had to tune out, pontificating liberal pro-war nerds who would babble in circles to just avoid looking at what was happening...

But I think we’re way past that point, somehow. One, because i was young/stupid and i think i really did fool myself back then, and had the thought in my head that if Al Gore had fought the election and/or the election results in 2000, none of it would be happening. You could at least imagine there could be a better world. And obviously that was untrue.

Two, obviously Iraq was more violent, more casualties, worse, but i think we’re actually able to watch the harm more. I saw that video of the Israeli tank blowing up a car trying to turn around yesterday; i don’t know how many videos of body parts; etc. Iraq, i remember shock and awe— i’ll remember that my whole life— but it wasn’t this constant— it was very much kept from us.

Three, there are specific differences in the propaganda— even if i didn’t agree, I could get my head around wanting to “get Saddam.” Meanwhile Israel is tweeting photos of Voldemort…?? You going to get Voldemort, big dawg? Theres a difference between the Project for a New American Century dumb ravings and the total bluntness of what we’re hearing are the goals here.

Four, i don’t know if America has a big Iraqi population but we know it has a big Palestinian population. They’re right there. We have to hear Blossom from Jeopardy tell our neighbors she matters more?? That doesn’t feel the same as 2003, not to my very imperfect memory at least, though i don’t know the numbers.

And then five, there were certainly vocal pro-war voices and people screamed at for not being pro war and called terrorist-lovers and all of that, but it just feels worse this time. Sure, Jimmy Fallon and SNL were having a great time with a war, but it wasn’t universities abandoning their own students, it wasn’t the cast of Stranger Things calling you an anti-semite constantly if you weren’t on board, it didn’t feel this unsafe to not be on board. People lost their jobs and lives and careers were impacted— i remember the tractor going over the dixie chicks cds and “freedom fries” and everything. I knew people who died because of that fucking war, and I remember the hopelessness of the night Bush got re-elected… But I don’t think it was this bad. When there were anti war protests they were massive and spectacular and hopeless and they failed, no one was listening and the media didn’t report them— but no one called the protestors fucking nazis, like biden’s press secretary did. They didn’t equate it to nazi rallies with as much gusto. I don’t remember being as afraid of Americans.

So maybe it’s recency bias but i really think it’s worse this time. I’m happy i’m not young for it. I’m happy it’s not my first time. If i were a young person, I think i’d feel really crazy.

#civilization is doomed

[andthebeanstalk]

I am deep in my anger about the ignorance/apathy that the majority of abled Americans have about how deeply fucked up this country's treatment of disabled people is. Not only am I ENRAGED by it, but also it doesn't make logical sense! Don't they know they will become us? Don't they know that it is only the unlucky who die too young to develop a disability? Don't they understand what's coming for them??

I want to be legally allowed to save money! I want to be allowed to marry my wife legally! I want to be able to buy nice things and go on vacations, instead of being trapped at home with no wheelchair and no ramp! And I am only 29! Everyone knows when you get old here, you get locked away in a sad understaffed facility, and folks are out here acting like they'll never grow old!

The only thing keeping my grief and my feelings of helplessness against a massive enemy from overwhelming me is this project I've been working on with some new friends.

There's this piece of land, you see. It's huge and beautiful and being sold way WAY under market price. And there's a chance - not a guarantee but a real chance - that I will have the opportunity to live in this beautiful green place and to build a community and a free medical treatment center there that will change and save lives.

I see before me a path to create a bright spot of rest and love in the darkness, where I can prove to person after person - and to myself - that a better life IS possible, right here in America, where most of can't afford to leave. In America, we are meant to believe a life of poverty is just something some people deserve. They don't. No one does. And I have a chance to make sure as many people as possible know they do not deserve to be left behind.

The world does not need more heroes. The world needs more care. The world needs places to rest. People need to be told that they are valued even if they cannot labor - and THEN they need to be treated like they deserve help and have value beyond their labor.

I spend a large part of my life trying to prove to the government and doctors that I am poor enough/sick enough/disabled enough (in the exact ways they approve of) to receive help. - Without this constant, intricate song and dance of evil banality and arbitrary denial and cruel loopholes, I can be denied what I need to live. (I am only alive because I have the privilege of having rich relatives, who paid for my college education and currently pay my rent.) If I was not able to afford an assistant, I would already have lost all of my benefits. Currently, I am at risk of losing my Medicaid because I missed an unexpected "prove to a doctor you are still disabled" deadline. There is a massive and ongoing burden of proof in this country placed on disabled people and subject to the whims of rich white abled judges and the minutiae of paperwork.

That's why it's so important that I have this opportunity to help people. I cannot tell you what it will mean to me the day I get to look someone in the face and tell them that their housing and medical treatment will be free as long as they need it and with nothing expected in return. I wanna meet someone who has been trying their hardest for as long as they can remember to build a stable life, and I want to be able to tell them to please try their softest. To prove to me nothing. To take their time. I will tell them that I need neither justification nor evidence to believe them when they say they need help. I want to be living proof that people deserve help just by being alive on this planet. I want to be included as part of that. I deserve a soft place to land too.

Also this property has a wheelchair ramp, meaning I could finally get a wheelchair after 2 years of needing and not having one!

One of the other members of the team has already brought up building a system of elder care on the property that would allow people to receive comprehensive health care as they age and to remain part of a vibrant community!

There's Hope. There's Real Hope. I can hardly believe it.

And if this particular opportunity doesn't work out, well, I'm never going to stop pursuing that dream. Never. I will either get there or die having journeyed towards it my whole life, and in doing so, I will have made this world a little softer in a million other ways, and I will have made the path a little easier to walk for whoever comes after me. I used to want to leave destruction in my wake or die trying. But in this, I will leave creation in my wake, and I will live trying. (And if doing so allows people to grow strong enough to destroy evil institutions... good.)

I am going to look at every cruelty of this system that nearly killed me, and I'm going to foster the right conditions to do the exact opposite. I will take the ableism of my family who wouldn't believe that I couldn't work even when I was dying, and I will do the opposite. Oh, the people I will believe! The people I will help feed! The people I will protect and build strong houses and long tables with! The people I will learn from! - I haven't even met most of them yet! How exciting that my life may still yet be long and full of wonders!!

I hope anyone reading this who has also at some point felt like a long life would be a curse, especially if they feel like that right now... I wanted to say that me and my friends and people like us - and opportunities like the one I've been blessed with - will only be able to help you if you stay alive long enough to be found. Or to find us, as the case may be.

If you can't live long enough, it's not your fault. Truly, it's not; and your death would be a tragic loss to yourself and to this world that I cannot begin to describe because it would make me so sad my literal heart would start to hurt and I'd never get to bed tonight.

But please, please, hold on with everything you have, for as long as you possibly can. Please handle your heart with the gentlest hands you can muster. I need you to live long enough to sit at our table because nothing is guaranteed except that you must be alive to do it. And I'm saving you a seat that only you can have, and without you it will remain forever empty and our table forever incomplete. You are invited to this party, and it just won't be as good without you. I'm a lousy cook, but I'm making friends with chefs, and I promise I will make sure you have enough food. There will be music and laughter and dancing. Some of us will dance in our wheelchairs. Some of us will hug and cry and plant flowers. All of us will stare in amazement of the better days we once thought impossible.

And I for one will be so fucking happy to see you there. I will take you by your hand, look you in the eye, and with the greatest, warmest relief in my heart, I will thank you for living to share this day with me. Because I know damn well that it was stupid fucking hard, and that it is not okay how hard it was.

But, look, now the sunset is warm upon our faces and the children are laughing with the community elders, and we can sleep knowing we are not alone. We made it. We really made it.

And maybe it's not specifically me and it's not specifically you - the metaphor has its limits. But there are so many people like me who want a better world, and there are so many people like you who deserve to live to see it.

And if we never see better days, then I will count each day we survive as a victory and a rebellion, because that's what they will be. I will cherish and live for each little bit of love and joy we carve out of the darkness.

But a better life does not become impossible until we are dead. Which means as long as we still live, there is Hope.

Have courage and be kind, friend. Be kind to yourself especially - even if you can only do so a little bit at a time, it's worth the practice. Turns out it is harder to live than to die. But I care that you are found.

---

Optional musical accompaniment to this post bc I've never had any chill and I don't see why I should start now:

A practical song about managing anxiety with the line "i care that you breathe" in it

Brian David Gilbert's beautiful song "See the Day"

A song about surviving while sick in America, and which I am told once saved a life

A lovely nerdy song called "Critical Hit" that inspires me on the days I have a little more energy

#original #ableism cw #medical trauma cw #trauma cw #ablism #poverty #hope #hopepunk #cripplepunk #this world is not yet lost. and it won't be until we are all dead. and we just have to deal with that. #suicide mention #kinda #some people react to talk of Hope in different ways. it's okay if you don't like the way I talk about it. we can have different brains. #i still care that you breathe #brian david gilbert #the altogether #ghost mice #if i die before i make my great big dream come true i will at least die knowing that my small kindnesses and my work has #helped and even saved people. the little things are in fact not little at all. they never were. others have saved me w such casual things #we deserve safety and peace and life. this is the Truth. i will hold this truth close to my heart in the hopes that you can do the same. #if this post helps people then that's great but I wrote it to help me remember my hope. if it helps someone else then that is a double win. #I must make a post like this once a month. I can't help it if I'm a parody of myself. or rather I can but why would I want to I'm a delight

[eddiediaaz]

you know what? i think being unemployed/on EI benefits for a few months during winter (starting in early december), while things go back to normal in the vfx world, is not the end of the world. in fact, i think i'm gonna try to see it as a break that i need and i'll try to make the most of it.

just some rambling incoming lol i feel like writing in a journal. used to do that more on my previous account but here i think it's a first

i am frustrated that i have no control over my career, as it currently hangs in the hands of a few millionnaires in the states (mine and thousands of people, i know). i'm frustrated that i had only started finally putting money aside for projects after cclearing my credit debt. i'm frustrated i've "lost/wasted" my summer doing overtime.

but. but i've also never had a work or school break for longer than 3 weeks since i've been like 15. half my entire life i've spent going to school full time and working part time and during the school breaks, and then to working full time without any kind of break. i never had a long nice vacation. the only break i've had was in 2021 i went 3 weeks on medical leave due to my depression and i couldn't afford to take more time off, so i went back to work against the doctor's recommendations. i know it's like that for a lot of people lol, it's a regular thing to work all the time, especially in north america's tiring work culture, but still. so it's... nice? to think about being unemployed for a few months. i'm trying to see it in a positive light.

i think it'll be nice to have a few months to myself and not having to work. i'm incredibly privileged and grateful that my current salary is good enough to give me comfortableish benefits while on EI. which is another insane thing to even think about?? and rather new too, i've only had this salary for less than 2 years and it's the only reason i was able to clear my credit debt quicker than expected. it's not even that much money but as someone who grew up pretty poor and has always been living paycheck to paycheck, it feels insane that i can be on EI and still be able to pay my bills comfortably, you know?

anyway. i think i'm okay with it. frustrated that i have to press pause on my life projects, again, but thankful that at least i won't have to, like, get the first minimum wage job that comes just to pay my bills (not sure minimum wage could cover that lol). i've been there before, having to get whatever job to make it one month to the other, multiple times, and i'm thankful that, at least, it's happening while i'm in a better financial position. and by better financial position i just mean that i only have a portion of my college debt to pay back, no other kind of debt. i don't have any kind of savings or placements or whatever "regular adults" have tho.

one thing i am scared of is boredom. what the fuck am i gonna do for 3 to 5 months without working full time lol??? like. i've never been there!!! and i don't even have a car to like, go places! i'm already thinking of where i could go volunteer in the city, of cheap projects i could do in my apartments and stuff like that. i'll stir crazy after the first month i think, not gonna lie. or maybe i'll just play the sims a lot

ultimately, i need to keep in mind this will most likely only be temporary. my employer said they wanna keep in touch with me for when things go back to normal, so i am hopeful that, at least, i may have a job to go back to? of course i definitely am losing this job in december, but there is hope i can get hired again at that place. because i do love this company and i was proud to have made it there.

#no one has to read that btw i'm just rambling and putting my thoughts into words

[kickthecan-revolution]

#

I’ve had to take a couple of meetings the last two days but it was worth it, I needed to get the feedback on the model I’ve put together to validate the feasibility analysis my team and I did on what is needed for a successful implementation. Everyone loves it and my instinct to not launch it too early without feedback from our Regional Directors was correct - they are running multi-million dollar businesses and need to have a say where their payroll goes. I met with our EMEIA Director this morning with my boss on the line as well - my boss’s boss is in London and offered to take her through the model but the Director said “if OK, I’d rather Diane take me through it, she has a level of detail that’s important.” which was hilarious and awesome. We stayed on for an hour, talking about our stores, our leaders, what they are all experiencing right now - she teared up, it’s so hard and my model is going to help if we create the right change management around it. My heart was so full after our conversation, she said “after 14 years, you’ve finally done it. congratulations.” And not a backhanded compliment, she knows how difficult it’s been and all of the obstacles we’ve faced. 

##

It’s so huge. We’ve done some work that is going to help so much. This larger Retail University idea needs the payroll plumbing first and this will do it. One of my team broke down in tears last week, she feels so disrespected by our current senior Leadership and so lost in her role - what she didn’t know is behind the scenes, my long-time best friend, sister cat colleague R and I- the person who I’ve led the training team with forever -  figured out a way of positioning my team with the Big Boss of the new vision of this university so we can do that work instead of the insanity we’re in now. I got on the phone with him and subtly showed him how my team can help - this morning, she sent me a screenshot and with the note “we are currently discussing how to get your team engaged on this”.  So it’s happening, but my doesn’t know it yet because I won’t share it until it’s secured. One of my skills is political savvy - my borderline tendencies create belief that every moment needs to be survived, not lived - so interactions with others always has a “succeed or die” component to it which makes me particularly adept at being liked, ensuring others are heard, that I match their energy and understand their needs. That’s a need in Corporate America despite its darker and more broken intent. And, I am a Socialist by nature -  I authentically care about everyone’s success and believe that a good solution means success for everyone’s individual projects and have innate ability to synthesize them into one big solution, but talk about that solution so everyone’s priority is seen and heard in it. So they are willing to work with me. Caring for people and telling the truth are more than just sentiment - they are the agents of change and for people who ultimately value good things, work (eventually). 

###

I called the interior designer who helped me with my place to start phase 2, furniture is expensive and I don’t want to fuck it up. I don’t need anything fancy but I need an expert to help me invest the money I am (now) willing to spend; at first I wasn’t because of my loathing to contribute to the landfill but after falling asleep on my sofa and waking up to a bad back, I want a new couch. And I want a cool kitchen table and the storage unit to not smell like cat litter. And I think I want to figure out how to put a hot tub on the terrace. So she’ll help me figure all of that out. 

####

I treated myself to some pancakes this morning but now I’m going to focus on my health. I’m going to lose some weight and be a better advocate for my body. The way I eat now is grounded in emotional soothing - I can have a different relationship to food now. My own. 

[denimbex1986]

'Before Christian Bale landed the role of Batman/Bruce Wayne in Christopher Nolan’s “Dark Knight” trilogy, the filmmaker screen-tested his “Oppenheimer” star Cillian Murphy. Both men have since admitted that Murphy was never a real threat to steal the part from Bale, and Murphy told GQ Magazine UK in a recent interview that it “was for the best” that Bale won the coveted role over him anyway.

“Yes, I think it was for the best because we got Christian Bale’s performance, which is a stunning interpretation of that role,” Murphy said. “I never considered myself as the right physical specimen for Batman. To me, it was always going to be Christian Bale.”

Nolan didn’t think Murphy was right for the part either, but he still screen-tested him for Batman so that executives at Warner Bros. could see what an amazing actor he was. The director wanted Murphy to play the film’s villain, Scarecrow, but Murphy wasn’t exactly a huge movie star. The previous formula for Batman movies was that a big star played the hero’s villain, but Nolan wanted to shake things up.

“Everybody was so excited by watching [Cillian] perform that when I then said to them, ‘Okay, Christian Bale is Batman, but what about Cillian to play Scarecrow?’ There was no dissent,” Nolan recently told Entertainment Weekly. “All the previous Batman villains had been played by huge movie stars: Jack Nicholson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jim Carrey, that kind of thing. That was a big leap for them and it really was purely on the basis of that test. So that’s how you got to play Scarecrow.”

“Batman Begins” would be the first of six collaborations between Nolan and Murphy. He reprised Scarecrow in two more Batman movies and then had supporting roles in “Inception” and “Dunkirk” before landing his first Nolan lead role in “Oppenheimer.” It turns out Murphy was eyed to play the theoretical physicist almost a decade before Nolan’s biographical drama.

In a recent Vanity Fair story, television creator Sam Shaw looked back at the making of his WGN America series “Manhattan.” The period drama covered the same ground as Nolan’s “Oppenheimer” in telling the story of the Manhattan Project’s efforts to build the first atomic bomb in Los Alamos, N.M. The acclaimed series ran for two seasons in 2014 and 2016. Oppenheimer was a recurring character on the show played by Daniel London, but series writer Lila Byock said Murphy was on the team’s wish list.

“When we were casting Oppenheimer, we went through a whole series of different ideas,” Byock said, before adding, “A thousand percent, Cillian Murphy was on that list.”

“We wanted Oppenheimer to feel both like he possessed a certain undeniable charisma, a presence onstage, but also that he was playing a different instrument,” Shaw said. “He needed to feel alien — or other — in some ways. He stood out.”

Nearly 10 years later, Murphy is finally Oppenehimer and earning the best reviews of his career. Nolan’s film is now playing in theaters nationwide from Universal Pictures.'

#Christopher Nolan #Oppenheimer #Christian Bale #Lila Byock #Manhattan #The Dark Knight Trilogy #Cillian Murphy #Scarecrow #Inception #Dunkirk #Jack Nicholson #Arnold Schwarzenegger #Jim Carrey

[hellcheer-prompts]

a US history lesson masquerading as a hellcheer fic

(will probably require a lot of research that I just don’t want to do myself but I will read in a heartbeat if someone else does it!)

so eddie and Chrissy are in the same poly sci class and they get partnered together for a project or a paper on current issues and their topic is Reagan running for reection and just like so what has he done so far?

Chrissy doesn’t know much about politics but Jason and her dad both like reagan so she’s like idk he’s been a good president I guess and it would be good for America if he won again

Eddie loses it. Like he doesn’t mean to yell at her but he’s mad and he has opinions and he can’t stop himself from telling Chrissy just how wrong she is.

They end up writing their paper all about how much reagan has fucked over the american public and how doomed the country is if he wins reection and Chrissy’s parents see it and lecture her about not being a democrat

X

#hellcheer prompts

[kammartinez]

We fell under the leadership of those who would compromise with truth in the past in order to make peace in the present and guide policy in the future. —W. E. B. Du Bois, Black Reconstruction in America

It is strange…that the friends of truth and the promoters of freedom have not risen up against the present propaganda in the schools and crushed it. This crusade is much more important than the anti-lynching movement, because there would be no lynching if it did not start in the schoolroom. —Carter G. Woodson, The Mis-Education of the Negro

On January 20, Florida’s education commissioner, Manny Diaz Jr., tweeted out a chart justifying the state’s decision to ban schools from teaching a newly created advanced placement course in African American Studies. The graphic singled out the curriculum’s inclusion of Black queer studies, intersectionality, Black feminist literary thought, reparations, and the Movement for Black Lives as “obvious violations of Florida law.” It also identified scholars whose work was included in an earlier iteration of the curriculum as radical propagandists bent on smuggling “critical race theory” (CRT), Marxism, and deviant sexuality into high-school classrooms.

Despite the fact that the College Board had not yet released the final curriculum to the public, Diaz and the state’s governor, Ron DeSantis, claimed it violated Senate Bill 148, better known as the “Stop Wrongs to Our Kids and Employees Act,” or the Stop W.O.K.E. Act. Sponsored by Diaz and signed in April 2022, the law prohibits teaching anything that might cause “guilt, anguish, or other forms of psychological distress” or “indoctrinate or persuade students to a particular point of view inconsistent…with state academic standards.” In other words, introducing and teaching race, gender, sexuality, and anything remotely resembling critical race theory was strictly prohibited.

When the College Board released the final curriculum eleven days later, it had changed substantially. Most of the material the Florida Department of Education (FDOE) found offensive was removed or downgraded from mandatory to optional. The revised 226-page curriculum eliminated queer studies, critical race theory, mass incarceration, and a section titled “Black Struggle in the 21st Century,” made the Black Lives Matter movement and reparations optional research projects, and added a project topic on “Black conservatism.” The names of all the offending authors—including myself—were removed.

The College Board insisted that it had not bowed to political pressure, despite a trove of email exchanges with the FDOE discussing potentially prohibited content and a final letter from the FDOE thanking the board for removing topics the state had deemed “discriminatory and historically fictional.” The fact is that the College Board stood to lose millions of dollars if Florida canceled its AP courses. Although a federal judge blocked portions of the Stop W.O.K.E. Act that restricted academic freedom in public colleges and universities, the law still applies to private businesses and K–12 education.

Rather than accept a watered-down curriculum bereft of the theories, concepts, and interdisciplinary methods central to Black Studies, students, teachers, scholars, and social justice activists fought back. On May 3 they organized a nationwide day of action calling out the College Board and defending the integrity of Black Studies. Apparently it worked. A week before the national protest, the College Board announced plans to revise the curriculum yet again. As of this writing, however, no specific changes have been announced.

*

The right’s vehement opposition to Black Studies is predictable. Black Studies has been under attack since its formal inception on college campuses in the late 1960s, and repression of all knowledge advancing Black freedom goes back much further. Most state laws prohibiting enslaved Africans from learning to read and write were introduced after 1829, in response first to the publication of David Walker’s Appeal to the Colored Citizens of the World—an unrelenting attack on slavery and US hypocrisy for maintaining it—and then to Nat Turner’s rebellion two years later. Back then the Appeal was contraband: anyone caught with it faced imprisonment or execution. Today it is a foundational text in Black Studies.

The historian Jarvis R. Givens found that during the Jim Crow era Black school teachers often “deployed fugitive tactics” and risked losing their jobs in order to teach Black history.1 In Mississippi, organizers with the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC) taught contraband history in “freedom schools,” while the Council of Federated Organizations (COFO) established “freedom libraries” throughout the state stocked with donated books—many on Black history by Black authors. Between 1964 and 1965, white terrorists burned down the freedom libraries in Vicksburg, Laurel, and Indianola.2

Who’s afraid of Black Studies? White supremacists, fascists, the ruling class, and even some liberals. As well they should be. Not everything done in the name of Black Studies challenges the social order. Like any field, it has its own sharp divisions and disagreements. But unlike mainstream academic disciplines, Black Studies was born out of a struggle for freedom and a genuine quest to understand the world in order to change it, presenting political and moral philosophy with their most fundamental challenge. The objects of study have been Black life, the structures that produce premature death, the ideologies that render Black people less than human, the material consequences of those ideologies, and the foundational place of colonialism and slavery in the emergence of modernity. Black Studies grew out of, and interrogates, the long struggle to secure our future as a people and for humanity by remaking and reenvisioning the world through ideas, art, and social movements. It emerged as both an intellectual and political project, without national boundaries and borders. The late political theorist Cedric J. Robinson described it as “a critique of Western Civilization.”

A chief target of this critique has been the interpretation of history. Battles over the teaching of history are never purely intellectual contests between ignorance and enlightenment, or reducible to demands to insert marginalized people into the curriculum.3 Contrary to the common liberal complaint that schools “ignore” the history of slavery and racism, Black and Native people have long occupied a place in school history curricula. Generations of students learned that white people settled the wilderness, took rightful ownership of the land from bloodthirsty Indians who didn’t know what to do with it, and brought the gift of civilization and democracy to North America and the rest of the world. During most of the twentieth century, students were taught that Negroes were perfectly happy as slaves, until some conniving Republicans and carpetbaggers persuaded them otherwise. Leading history books by Ivy League professors repeated the myth, and in the first epic film in the US, D. W. Griffith depicted the “great and noble” Ku Klux Klan redeeming the South from rapacious, ignorant Negroes and shifty carpetbaggers, obliterating all vestiges of the Black struggle to bring genuine democracy to the South and the nation.

Black scholars and their allies consistently contested these narratives. In “The Propaganda of History,” the last chapter of his epic text Black Reconstruction in America (1935), W. E. B. Du Bois called out the ideological war on truth masquerading as objective scholarship. He believed in reason but came to see its futility in the face of white supremacy, colonial rule, and “one of the most stupendous efforts the world ever saw to discredit human beings, an effort involving universities, history, science, social life and religion.”

Du Bois wasn’t out to make a name for himself in the field of nineteenth-century US history. He was trying to understand the roots of fascism in Europe and in his native land. He saw the battle over the interpretation of history play out in the streets, statehouses, courts, and newspapers for decades—often with deadly consequences. The rise of the second Ku Klux Klan was inspired in part by a national campaign to erase the history of Reconstruction. The chief catalyst was Griffith’s The Birth of a Nation, released in 1915, the same year the renowned Black historian Carter G. Woodson founded the Association for the Study of Negro Life and History. 

Respectable white supremacists such as the Ladies Memorial Associations and the United Daughters of the Confederacy, founded in 1894, waged their own soft power campaign, building monuments to the defenders of slavery in the region and around the nation’s capital. The movement to erect statues celebrating Confederate war heroes took off in the early twentieth century rather than immediately after the end of Reconstruction because it took over three decades of white terrorism, political assassination, lynching, disfranchisement, and federal complicity to destroy the last vestiges of a biracial labor movement, ensuring that white supremacy and Jim Crow could reign supreme.

*

What the right demonizes as CRT bears no resemblance to actual critical race theory, a four-decades-old body of work that interrogates why antidiscrimination law not only fails to remedy structural racism but further entrenches racial inequality. Racism, these theorists argue, isn’t just a matter of individual bias or prejudice but a social and political construct embedded in our legal system. Taking a page straight from the anticommunist playbook, the right has reduced CRT to an incendiary dog whistle, turning an antiracist academic project into a racist plot to teach white children to hate themselves, their country, and their “race.”4

The chief architect of this strategy is Christopher Rufo, currently a senior fellow at the archconservative Manhattan Institute, who in the wake of the mass protests sparked by the killing of George Floyd declared that the spread of critical race theory was behind the unrest. By his own admission, Rufo sought the “perfect villain” to mobilize opposition to the antiracist insurgency and had no qualms about distorting CRT to do it. Ignoring the scholarship while naming the scholars, notably Kimberlé Crenshaw and the late Derrick Bell, he presumed that these three words “strung together” would signify “hostile, academic, divisive, race-obsessed, poisonous, elitist, anti-American.” As he explained to his Twitter followers in 2021, the plan was to rebrand CRT and

eventually turn it toxic, as we put all of the various cultural insanities under that brand category. The goal is to have the public read something crazy in the newspaper and immediately think “critical race theory.” We have decodified the term and will recodify it to annex the entire range of cultural constructions that are unpopular with Americans.

Rufo’s ploy soon became White House policy. He helped draft Trump’s now-rescinded Executive Order 13950, issued on September 22, 2020, which warned of a left-wing ideology threatening “to infect core institutions of our country” by promoting “race or sex stereotyping or scapegoating.” The document pitted this invented ideology against the principles of “color blindness” derived from a distorted reading of Martin Luther King, Jr. to justify eliminating workplace diversity and inclusion training in federal agencies. It helped spawn a wave of anti-CRT legislation. According to a recent study released by UCLA’s Critical Race Studies Program, from the start of 2021 to the end of 2022 federal, state, and local legislative and governing bodies introduced 563 anti-CRT measures, almost half of which have been enacted or adopted. At least 94 percent of the successful measures target K–12 education, affecting nearly half of all children in the country’s public schools.

These measures target not just CRT but liberal multiculturalism and, more pointedly, Black Studies, Ethnic Studies, Gender Studies, and any modern academic discipline that critically studies race and gender. (From here on I will refer to this scholarship collectively as “critical race and gender studies,” make specific references to Black Studies or CRT when appropriate, and use “we” occasionally when explaining what scholars in these fields do.) Most of these bills allegedly intended to protect education from politics share identical language because they derive from model legislation drafted by well-funded right-wing think tanks, including the America First Policy Institute, the Heritage Foundation, Citizens for Renewing America, Alliance for Free Citizens, and the Ethics and Public Policy Center. Stanley Kurtz, a leading critic of the African American AP course who masquerades as an investigative journalist for National Review, ironically named the model anti-CRT legislation he drafted for the Ethics and Public Policy Center “the Partisanship Out of Civics Act.”

Some of the text of that legislation was lifted from the section of Executive Order 13950 prohibiting the teaching of “divisive concepts.” These concepts include the idea that one race or sex is “inherently superior” to others; that the US “is fundamentally racist or sexist”; that a person, “by virtue of his or her race or sex, is inherently racist, sexist, or oppressive” or “bears responsibility for actions committed in the past by other members of the same race or sex”; that “meritocracy or traits such as a hard work ethic are racist or sexist, or were created by a particular race to oppress another race”; and that some people “should feel discomfort, guilt, anguish, or any other form of psychological distress on account of his or her race or sex.” The assumption here is that confronting the history of American racism would provoke feelings of guilt and shame in white kids and their parents. Such legislation never considers the psychological distress Black, brown, and Indigenous students frequently endure as a result of whitewashed curricula, tracking, suspensions and expulsions on the slightest pretext, even abuses by law enforcement inside their own classrooms.

Such allegations against critical race and gender studies strain credulity. No serious scholar believes that someone is “inherently racist, sexist, or oppressive, whether consciously or unconsciously,” solely “by virtue of his or her race or sex.” We teach the opposite: that race is neither fixed nor biological but socially constructed. Modern categories of racial classification were Enlightenment-era European creations that relied on a false science to claim that discrete “racial” groups share inherent traits or characteristics. We reject such claims as essentialist and recognize that behaviors and ideas attributed to race, gender, class, and sexuality are not inherent but ideological, and therefore dynamic and subject to change. We use evidence-based research to show that policies that further racial, class, and gender inequality need not be intentional, and that anyone can be antiracist, regardless of their race.

The belief that hierarchies of race and gender are based on “inherent” characteristics is the basis for white supremacy and patriarchy. Such ideologies have been used to justify conquest, dispossession, slavery, segregation, the exclusion of women and Black people from the franchise, wage differentials based on race and gender, welfare and housing policies, marriage and family law, even the denial of women’s right to bodily autonomy. Many conservatives backing anti-CRT legislation do subscribe to the idea that certain differences, especially regarding gender, are “inherent”—that is, fixed and immutable. CRT and Black Studies do not.

Likewise, to accuse CRT of teaching that “meritocracy or traits such as a hard work ethic” are racist is to turn its interpretation of US history on its head. What Black Studies and critical race theory reveal is the extent to which wealth was accrued through the labor and land of others. The foundational wealth of the country, concentrated in the hands of a few, was built on stolen land (Indigenous dispossession), stolen labor (slavery), and the exploitation of the labor of immigrants, women, and children.

Finally, critical scholars of race and gender categorically reject the claim that any individual “bears responsibility for actions committed in the past by other members of the same race or sex.” The language is intended as an attack on the idea of reparations, but advocates of reparations hardly claim that all present-day white people are “responsible” for slavery. Rather, they acknowledge that enslavement, land theft, wage theft, and housing discrimination resulted in extracting wealth from some and directly accruing generational wealth to others. Slavery and Jim Crow—more precisely, racial capitalism—suppressed wages for white workers, and the threat of interracial worker and farmer unity compelled the Southern oligarchs to pass antilabor laws and crush unions. The result was the subjugation of all working-class Southerners, including whites.

The right-wing movement to remake education is not limited to K–12. Nearly a fifth of the 563 anti-CRT measures introduced and 12 percent of those enacted target colleges and universities. In Florida, DeSantis has launched a successful coup against the administration of New College, replaced a majority of the board of trustees with handpicked allies, and begun to totally overhaul the curriculum, wiping out all vestiges of diversity, equity, and inclusion. The latest attack on Florida’s state university system, Senate Bill 266, which DeSantis signed into law last month, is a flagrant attack on academic freedom and faculty governance. The Board of Governors is charged with reviewing state colleges and universities for violating the Florida Educational Equity Act, which forbids teaching “theories that systemic racism, sexism, oppression, or privilege are inherent in the institutions of the United States and were created to maintain social, political, or economic inequities.” The law also prohibits faculty or staff from advocating for diversity, equity, and inclusion, promoting or participating in political or social activism, or granting preferential treatment “on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, disability, or religion.” And it gives boards of trustees the power to review the tenure status of any faculty member on demand, which means that even tenured professors are subject to arbitrary dismissal.

Buried in this law and shrouded by the state’s “anti-woke” rhetoric is another agenda: transforming the state college system into an engine of market fundamentalism beholden to business interests. One of its objectives is “to promote the state’s economic development” through new research, technology, patents, grants, and contracts that “generate state businesses of global importance,” and to create “a resource rich academic environment that attracts high-technology business and venture capital to the state.” In 2020 the governor and the state legislature established and lavishly funded the Adam Smith Center for Economic Freedom at Florida International University, tasked with promoting “a better understanding of the free enterprise system and its impact on individual freedom and human prosperity around the world, with a special emphasis on the United States and Latin America and the Caribbean.” SB 266 further elevated the Adam Smith Center by giving it all the powers of an academic department, including the ability to hire tenure-track faculty and offer majors and minors.

*

A matter of days before issuing Executive Order 13950, Trump announced the formation of the federally funded 1776 Commission to promote “patriotic education” and portray the US in a more positive light. Advisors for the commission blamed colleges and universities for distorting history and promoting “destructive scholarship” that sows “division, distrust, and hatred among citizens…. It is the intellectual force behind so much of the violence in our cities, suppression of free speech in our universities, and defamation of our treasured national statues and symbols.”

The commission issued its first and only report less than two weeks after the insurrection at the Capitol building on January 6, 2021. It denigrates popular democracy, whitewashes the history of slavery, says nothing about Indigenous peoples or dispossession, and claims that “progressivism” and “identity politics” are at odds with American values, not unlike communism and fascism.

Perhaps its most egregious fabrication is turning Martin Luther King Jr. into a colorblind libertarian. The report recasts the civil rights movement as a struggle for individual liberty and equal opportunity that, with the death of King, lost its way when it embraced “group rights,” “preferential treatment” for minorities, and “identity politics.” This is the same King who in his book Why We Can’t Wait (1964) supported “compensatory or preferential treatment for the Negro” because “it is obvious that if a man is entered at the starting line of a race three hundred years after another man, the first would have to perform some incredible feat in order to catch up”; the same King who called on the federal government to divest from the war in Vietnam, invest in the war on poverty, recognize racism as a source of inequality, and acknowledge “the debt that they owe a people who were kept in slavery 244 years.”

The stunning distortion of King’s ideas should surprise no one, King least of all. He knew something about the politics of history. On the occasion of Du Bois’s hundredth birthday in 1968, King delivered a speech at Carnegie Hall on the significance of Black Reconstruction’s challenge to the “conscious and deliberate manipulation of history.” Du Bois, King observed, proved that “far from being the tragic era” of misrule and corruption, Reconstruction

was the only period in which democracy existed in the South. This stunning fact was the reason the history books had to lie because to tell the truth would have acknowledged the Negroes’ capacity to govern and fitness to build a finer nation in a creative relationship with poor whites.

Multiracial democracy, or what Du Bois called “abolition democracy,” represented the greatest threat to the classes that ruled the South and the nation. It still does. DeSantis, Trump, Governors Greg Abbott and Kim Reynolds, the 1776 Commission, the Center for American Freedom, the American Enterprise Institute, the Ethics and Public Policy Center, and their copious allies all claim that their war on critical race and gender studies aims to present US history in a “positive light.” Why then not teach the history of movements that tried to make sure every person enjoyed freedom and safety and fought to end slavery, Jim Crow, patriarchy, and sex discrimination? If “patriotic education” embraces the principles of freedom and democracy, why not introduce students to courageous people—like Benjamin Fletcher, Claudia Jones, C.L.R. James, Ella Baker, Fannie Lou Hamer, Johnnie Tillmon, George Jackson, Fran Beal, Barbara Smith, and others—who risked their lives to ensure freedom, democracy, and economic security for others? Why not create a curriculum centered on the abolitionist movement; on Indigenous nations as early models for US constitutional democracy; on the formerly enslaved people who crushed the slaveholding republic, tried to democratize the South, and fought the terrorism of lynching, the Klan, and the Black Legion; on the suffragists and labor organizers who expanded our democratic horizons and improved working conditions?

But in our current neofascist universe, this is “woke” history. The right masks its distrust of multiracial democracy by calling it “progressivism” and its opposition to antiracism by labeling it “identity politics.” According to this logic, antiracism has sullied America’s noble tradition. Ruby Bridges Goes to School, books for young readers on Martin Luther King Jr. and the March on Washington, Ibram X. Kendi’s How to Be an Antiracist, and his children’s book, Antiracist Baby, have all been targeted for bans as subversive literature. There is no commensurate movement to ban books that promote racism, like Thomas Jefferson’s Notes on the State of Virginia (1785), which asserts frequently that Black people are innately inferior to whites—physically, intellectually, and even imaginatively; Edmund Ruffin’s defense of slavery, The Political Economy of Slavery (1857); or books and articles by Samuel Cartwright, Josiah Nott, George Fitzhugh, Louis Agassiz, Herbert Spencer, Madison Grant, Lothrop Stoddard, or Daniel G. Brinton, the eminent anthropologist who in his book Races and Peoples (1890) wrote, “That philanthropy is false, that religion is rotten, which would sanction a white woman enduring the embrace of a colored man.”

The point of these attacks is to turn antiracists into enemies and the people identified as “white” into victims. Marginalized white working people, who are victims of stagnant wages, privatized health care, big pharma, and tax policies that redistribute wealth upward, are taught instead that they live in what was once the perfect country until woke forces took over and gave their hard-earned income to the Negroes and immigrants who are now trying to take their guns. It would be a mistake to think of such rhetoric as a “culture war.” This is a political battle. It is part and parcel of the right-wing war on democracy, reproductive rights, labor, the environment, land defenders and water protectors, the rights and safety of transgender and nonbinary people, asylum seekers, the undocumented, the unhoused, the poor, and the perpetual war on Black communities.

As I write these words, the predominantly white Republican Mississippi state legislature is stripping the predominantly Black city of Jackson of political authority and revenue. Many of the same states adopting anti-CRT laws are also passing anti-trans bills and extreme abortion bans, and relaxing gun laws. The Tennessee state legislature expelled two young Black representatives, Justin Jones and Justin Pearson, for joining protesters demanding stricter gun laws after a mass shooting at a Nashville elementary school. And Texas governor Greg Abbott is planning to pardon Daniel Perry, who was convicted of killing the antiracist activist Garrett Foster during a Black Lives Matter protest in 2020.

Colin Kaepernick, Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor, and I put together a new anthology, Our History Has Always Been Contraband, to respond not only to these right-wing lies and attacks but also to an ill-informed mainstream discourse over the meaning, purpose, and scholarly value of Black Studies. Despite the claims of even well-meaning and sympathetic pundits, Black Studies courses are not designed to serve Black students alone but all students. The point is not to raise self-esteem or make students feel guilty, nor is Black Studies merely a diversity project. The essays and readings we gathered make clear that Black Studies sits not at the margins of social inquiry but at its very center. As we face a rising tide of fascism, we must remember how we got here: by protest, occupation, rebellion, and deep study. As long as racism, sexism, homophobia, patriarchy, class oppression, and colonial domination persist, our critical analyses will always be considered criminal.

#history #education #racism #politics #censorship

[korra-the-red-lion]

An Observation from an MCU fan.

Hey everyone, Korra here. I just got back from Thor Love and Thunder the other day, as well as finishing Ms. Marvel and I’ve been having these thoughts for a while now but I’m going to try to put them in words. It’s perhaps a little bit of a criticism of some of the recent MCU ventures, a little of my own personal feelings, and just some thoughts in general I suppose.

The biggest one that I’ll talk the most about is too much content in too little time. I think we all know what I’m talking about, if you’ve been a part of the MCU fandom for as long as I have been, or even if you’re a causal fan. But in the past couple of years, there has been more Phase 4 content than nearly all the other Phases put together. And I’m being real here, I think some has been fantastic while others haven’t been. Mostly the shows I think have suffered from this.

The shows are all extra long movies with a whole lotta stuffing, except for maybe WandaVision. The Falcon and Winter Soldier was just a long Captain America movie with way too much going on, yet nothing happening all at the same time. Loki wasn’t bad but it spent too much time on Loki’s “redemption”, even though we had a very satisfying one through the movies that paid off gloriously. At least the show is getting a second season. Hawkeye was a fun venture, and I think Kate’s story was well done even if I found the ending to be a bit lackluster. I didn’t love Moon Knight, but that’s mostly because I felt like the show dragged on for too long whereas it would have worked as a movie to get through some of the meandering the show did. Ms. Marvel was a very character driven show that had a pretty weak plot in my opinion. WandaVision had the most satisfying character moments and plot moments, and if you skip/ignore the post credits scene, it tells a beautiful story about accepting grief and loss as part of life. I think the largest issue for the shows stems from the lack of proper vision and focus. Kevin Feige is busy watching over ALL these projects and I personally feel like you can see it now. Most of the shows needed someone to step in and say “No that can be removed, and maybe do this instead.” I’m all for creative decision making, don’t get me wrong. But if you’re using these shows to build stories into more movies and stuff, then they need to be engaging and connect to the larger picture somehow. 

Now the movies are still fun, entertaining popcorn flicks, as they should be. But I’ve found myself wondering, “Did we need an Eternals movie? Was Thor Love and Thunder and now a potential Thor 5 needed?” I thought after Endgame we’d see a switch to focus on what I thought would be the new generation of newly introduced Heroes (Captain Marvel, Black Panther, Scarlet Witch, Doctor Strange) since Steve, Tony and I thought Thor’s stories were finished. But every new project is introducing us to a new hero, someone else to keep an eye on. I’m excited for the idea of the Fantastic 4, loving the comics and the cartoon since I was a kid, but on top of everyone else it’s a lot. The Eternals introduced us to at least 5 people we need to keep an eye on. There are so many new characters that I feel like I’m losing track. Also, it does suck to me that our OGs (Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, etc) got to have franchises that they didn’t share the spotlight with, but Captain Marvel and seemingly some others don’t get that same curtousy. Am I excited about Kamala and Monica showing up in the Marvels? Absolutely. Am I little bummed out that we know very little of Carol’s life since she left Earth and now have to watch her share her storytime with two other people, one who just had a nearly 5hr movie to tell her story? Yup, I am. I’d be more down if this was the third film. And I love Yelena, don’t get me wrong, she’s one of the best new characters introduced, but I would have loved if the Black Widow movie was actually about Natasha. I mean, me and every other person who wanted a BW movie only asked for a Natasha solo film for 10+ years, so it would have been nice to see her get a trilogy like the boys.

At this point, it feels like the MCU cares more about bringing in the newest hero instead of focusing on the ones we already have. And I know the Pandemic caused mass delays and they’re playing catch up now, but there is literally a new MCU project every couple of months and if you don’t watch all of them, you’ll be lost when heading into the newest project. Didn’t watch WV? Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness might not be a enjoyable if you didn’t. Didn’t watch BW? Might miss out a pretty big reason why Yelena is even in Hawkeye. 

I miss the days when you could watch the movies and only be expected to watch the movies to be excited about the crossovers and team ups, but even if you missed one, that was okay. I liked watching the Defenders series and them being in their own little section of the MCU. I liked Agents of Shield just did its own thing. I liked Runaways and it having three self contained seasons that didn’t require hours and hours of prior knowledge.

Maybe there was no point in writing this post except to get my feeling out there. I still like the MCU, been a fan of it since I was 12 years old. But I’m starting to feel some fatigue from it, starting to see a dip in some quality storytelling. Not every movie needs to be CA: Winter Soldier or Thor Ragnarök level of good story telling and overall enjoyment, but I feel like we’re getting some weaker stories from the TV shows and it’s starting to show up in the movies as well because there’s too much for one man to focus his attention on. Don’t get me wrong either, Shang-Chi was probably one of the best Phase 4 movies out there so far, and probably one of the best Phase 4 properties in general, as well as being one of the better MCU movies. I absolutely loved WandaVision, I’ve watched it twice and think it’s even better the second time around. But I really thought tFatWS was boring. Thor Love and Thunder was okay, but it needed to be tonally controlled because some parts I thought were just a little cringey.

Maybe all I need from the MCU is to slow down. Focus on storytelling again, focus on the effects. Focus on the emotional impacts. And honestly, maybe not focus on churning out TV show after TV show. On average, they’re just “okay.” Anyway, guess I just wanted to get these thoughts out of my head. It’s fine if you disagree with me, it’s not going to offend me. If you read this far, thanks.

#mcu #marvel #marvel phase four #wandavision #the falcon and the winter soldier #loki #Moon Knight #ms marvel #hawkeye #Black Widow #shang chi #The Eternals #doctor strange and the multiverse of madness #thor love and thunder #what if...? #long post

[redpillfuturist215]

*In response to white male liberal on Twitter

I’m reblogging this in response to, for lack of a better term, a white male liberal. I made a small update on my African American women are terrible mothers post to reflect this. Link

https://redpillfuturistpa.tumblr.com/post/679869154187182080/african-american-women-are-terrible-mothers-much

Every once in a while, a white dude tries to either

1 Define my blackness

2 Claim my criticism of black women is racist

To put it another way, he's saying I can't think for myself

Or in other words, he wants me to be a slave – refer to Malcolm X quote

1 Recent Yale study proves the left's racist outrage is an act of projection

https://www.glennbeck.com/glenn-beck/recent-yale-study-proves-the-lefts-racist-outrage-is-an-act-of-projection

The guy, apparently a blue pilled cuck, also says…

MGTOW’s are just male feminists

Actually, esp. given that male genital mutilation along justifies men killing every enemy of men and boys, all we’re doing is walking away – refer to Paul Elam screenshot

Feminists routinely call for the castration and genocide of males, especially straight white men

Excluding abortion, women are 3-4 times more likely than men to abuse and murder children, the victim being male the majority of the time. For black women it’s even higher

My views, based on how horrible my childhood was at the hands of the single black mother combined with all the similar experiences of other black men and statistics, are apparently ignorant, according to him

Newsflash, real men, esp. after 35-ish and if red pilled, don’t care what others think of them

I'm a leftist simply saying fuck off to society lol

I don't support anything Marxist. I also don't hate America. I actually risked my life for it, 6 years and 1 combat tour in the army with no regrets

MGTOW isn't "owning" anyone

Newsflash, MGTOW aren’t here to own anyone, we’re just here to put ourselves first and again we do not care about or need society’s approval

Everyone laughs at you, says the blue pilled guy

Woman – “I’m never getting married or having kids” – society, “You go girl!”

Man – same – society … is he gay, an incel, what a loser, is something wrong with him?

Real men don't need to embrace MGTOW because real women only go for real men

You can't find a real woman and earn her loyalty

Not wanting to risk losing your peace, sanity, freedom, livelihood, finances, children etc. to the average modern American woman and a gynocentric legal system is having “weak genes”

You’re racist, an incel and you hate black women blah blah blah

Dudes worse than a feminist

Nothing but infantile, emotional outbursts and insults without providing a single lick of evidence

Meanwhile…

Facts don’t care about feelings. Nor are they racist, sexist or whatever. They just are

MGTOW’s have absolutely no problem getting laid, if they want to. Many are in fact in relationships, married and/or have children. They just might seek love overseas. Feminists are the problem, not women

A woman telling it like it is, a happily married American anti-feminist woman who also protected her sons from genital mutilation by the way

MGTOW is the safest choice for men

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12QInvCZowU

Part 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrWq5AEOpiY

2 Millions Of Men No Longer Want To Get Married, And You Can Thank The Government For That

https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/millions-of-men-no-longer-want-to-get-married-and-you-can-thank-the

3 Black women checking themselves, calling out others and defending black men – who he calls dimwits for telling the truth, circling back to my overall statement. White liberal men need to STFU and stop trying to tell us what to think

You BLACK women are embarrassing, I AGREE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pRMZ3l_9JU

Black woman says black men should avoid black women like the plague

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbwcVRYoH4k

And several screenshots, I have to reblog to add them. Link to part two here

https://redpillfuturistpa.tumblr.com/post/703381872434184192/part-two-more-screenshots-due-to-the-single-post

#leftists #liberals #feminism #mgtow #ibmor #sysbm #democrats #red pill #black women #white liberals #projection

[void-thegod]

I've been playing with an idea.

A desperate and foolish attempt to make people care.

About my plight, yes. And this condition I share with the rest of humanity.

But I should know better. I keep overworking myself - physically, mentally, and spiritually - for something I really have no control over.

If you care about a human being or a cause or anything, you try. You try and try over and over.

I'm at my wits end with trying. For myself. For humanity.

I don't have the energy for it. I don't have the resources for it. I don't have the support for it.

Why should I continually put myself in harms way? Because it's the right thing to do? Because it's my only recourse? Because other people are doing it too?

If I've learned anything from living on this planet, it's that people are selfish. They're not really "good", per se. They're just not "evil" either.

It's not black and white. But if you think of how we got here... well. How many truly good people could there be?

1% rule the world. Maybe 10%. The other 90%?

Let's say over half of people physically and mentally cannot do anything. Resources, support, disability, money, etc

Maybe 45% of people have the rest. But.

That also has to be split up by demographic, age, sex, race.

White (and Western) supremacy/ imperialism in America keeps the wealth with white folks primarily. Most of the people who have money don't seem (???) To help as many people as they possibly could.

Most people are more committed to keeping and growing the wealth they have than trying to change/destroy the system that gave them that wealth.

Don't get me started on conspiracies

How our government loses trillions of dollars. Black government projects. The military industrial complex. Police.

So forth.

There's a lot of money out there.

Just a rant, I guess.

I've felt this way since I learned what all this was.

When I was 12.

And you may ask why I haven't done anything. But : I'm one of the most disenfranchised groups of people on the planet. Barring being in someplace worse than America.. which there are many.

I'm lucky for what I've had. What I have.

I've been homeless. I was an alcoholic.

I'm autistic and brown and have cptsd from dealing with The Horrors.

I have no friends that really understand me. I am estranged from my family for similar reasons -- they'd rather I be anything but disabled.

So like. I need help. Yes.

But humanity needs help. Our civilization is killing us, this planet, and what we could become.

Elon Musk lost 200 billion dollars.

What could we have done with that?

Is capitalism and democracy in their current forms the best we can do?

Absolutely not.

We can all do better. I think.

If you made it this far: $onepeaceman is my cashapp.

It'd be nice if a miracle occurred. But I won't hold my breath.

#cashapp #democracy #capitalism #late stage capitalism #trans #queer #disabled #chronically ill #mental health issues #cptsd #autistic

[unhingedwomandiaries]

If one does not retire at precisely the same moment every evening, one awakens as if violently catapulted from a nightmare, soaked in anxiety and questioning the very fabric of reality. I find myself beset by vivid hallucinations and a profound sense of dissociation from my own body. Would I recommend enforcing a strict bedtime routine upon children, so as to condition them into forever sleeping in regimental fashion? Well, no, not as such. I mean to say, have you seen those pitiable little cadets in military school, marched off to their barracks at 7 PM sharp each night? It certainly engenders conformity, but I daresay it also breeds quite a bit of resentment destined to erupt during their university years. Nevertheless, a consistent sleep schedule is beneficial, broadly speaking. I have always relied upon precision and routine to properly function, perhaps owing to my childhood need to arrive promptly on-time for each and every engagement. My parents kept a rigid timeline for our family’s activities, you see, and I fear I internalized their militant devotion to punctuality.

So there I was the other night, dutifully lying with eyes clamped shut in observance of my strict 22 hundred hours bedtime. And then my restless husband decides to thumb through his phone with wonton disregard for my slumber. Reading random petty news and silly animal trivia at this hour, can you imagine? As if I care to learn of strange cats and their inane exploits when we have not got a feline of our own. So naturally I had to insist he cease that illuminated nonsense at once. But then he asks, apropos of nothing, “Remember that doll you were on about?” Doll? What on earth could he mean by such an obtuse phrase? I replied, “What do you mean?” and he elucidates this old school project where we students cared for sacks of flour and electronic babies as though they were human babies. Ah yes, what a perfectly absurd experiment that was. I must confess the memory had utterly slipped my mind until that very moment. Well, my husband proceeds to blithely inform me that such nonsense apparently raises teen pregnancy rates by 36 percent. As if I care to hear about teen pregnancy at this hour when my high school had no such issues. Those few classmates who married young had children afterwards and still finished university, as I clearly recall. America has entire housing facilities for undergraduate families aka married student housing. My dear friend x married her kindergarten sweetheart and they’ve got four perfectly darling children and a lovely domestic life.

I do remember my own culture shock when I first left home for university and found myself assigned to a family housing unit with a pair of teenage parents and their howling past the age of two child with childhood schizophrenia. I daresay I complained to my mother about it being strange for fourteen-year-olds to play house instead of pursuing their studies. But she gently reminded me not to harshly judge those raised in circumstances alien to my own. My parents, after all, had my sibling in their tender teen years and still made an admirable success of things. Perhaps the stigma around teenage parenthood ought to be re-examined for modern times. Those babies are often perfectly wanted by their family units, however premature society may deem them. Sometimes people don’t get lucky and lose their family or get disowned. I recognise that too. Very sad.

As for that ridiculous flour-baby assignment, I’ve scarcely any recollection of the details. I was partnered with some athletic chap named x who likely thought me a silly bookish girl. Our flour-infant was christened Margaret, I believe, for wistful memories of my Uncle’s mother. Young x boasted he one day aspired to be a rocket scientist, can you imagine! I must confess I found such lofty aspirations amusing considering his underwhelming marks, and foolishly allowed my skepticism to be known through insensitive laughter. Well the joke is on me I suppose, as the boy grew up to indeed become an aerospace engineer at SpaceX, married with a thriving family, whilst I remain an unstable insomniac listening to my restless husband into the wee hours over trivial nonsense I could not care less about. Though I do cherish the ramblings in every way despite what I’ve said.

#diary #Sleeping