Lan: Nynaeve and I are having a baby
Rand: that’s grea-
Lan, slamming adoption papers on the table: it’s you, sign here
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I'm in the season 2, 5th ep of wheel of time and I'm very uncomfortable with how long Lan and Nynaeve have been separated.
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why didn't Lan want to transfer the bond to Nynaeve in s2?
I've read some comments questioning his love for Nynaeve due to how quickly he rejects the idea and I really disagree. I think he rejects it precisely because he loves her. Because he is the deeply loving man Nynaeve is falling in love with and a person of honor who is worthy of her.
1) He's going through a trauma along with Moiraine (though he wasn't the one Ishamael assaulted, he is deeply linked to M, traumatized by the loss of the connection that has been his family and the purpose of his life for 20 years, and she is behaving horribly toward him) and he feels like a failure. The person he trusts most in life literally just told him he's a failure. He believes Nynaeve deserves so much better than to take on a failed Warder as a commitment for life. He feels like damaged goods. He knows she WOULD take him on, because she has a compassionate heart and feels for him. But he wants better than that for her.
He's in his 40s and she's 26 - he should have scruples about not imposing on her good heart and taking advantage. (I'm not against age gap romance, but if the older partner is a decent person they will have real scruples to consider. Those valid scruples are all mixed up in his head with the trauma and bad self-image stuff he's going through IMO.) From his pov, he's been told she will soon be a powerful Aes Sedai. With that status she will have her pick of the very best, young Warders - she has her whole life ahead of her, why should she be saddled with an old failure?
Why should she bond to Lan and share in his shattered heart and grief and be weighed down by that and then, in a few decades, Lan won't be able to physically protect her like a Warder her own age or younger would? When he will die much sooner? She'd have to then experience grieving him when she could be building a lifelong bond with a younger, fresh Warder without all his baggage.
I don't agree with his pov, but I think this likely played into his thinking and why he rejects the idea immediately.
2) It's sadly a common thing that men are more likely to leave women partners who become terminally or chronically ill. Put simply: Lan isn't a piece of shit like that. He's better than that. He doesn't treat women like they're interchangeable parts - if one breaks, just swap her out for another and forget about her. He means his platonic commitment so much - which speaks to the kind of man he is and how much he will mean the romantic commitment he makes to Nynaeve. He's a man of quality and honor. His commitments are actually worth something.
The kind of man who would leave his 20 year long platonic partner to just suffer and die while he walks off wouldn't be worthy of Nynaeve, whose own heart is so loving and true. (edit: Distancing himself for his own emotional safety and finding other ways to get Moiraine support would be different - if he'd, say, told Siuan about what was going on but chosen not to return to M himself and/or reopen the bond - choosing forgiveness is going above and beyond, but not just leaving someone and swapping them out immediately is a decency thing)
3) Narratively, IMO it's for the same reason Siuan and Moiraine are in conflict rather than together right now - the romantic resolutions are going to be very grand and fireworks (Nynaeve was only starting to fall in love with Lan when she blazed like a sun to save his life - this show is very romantic! Unlike a lot of US shows rn it respects romantic love) and they're being saved for later. In both romances, they're currently separated due to how much they love each other, not how little.
BOOK SPOILERS BELOW
4) We know they get a canon happily ever after!! We know she will hold his bond one day - and presumably as a consensual act of joy and commitment. Doing it now, in this way, would taint it and hurt both of them. It has to be right - the timing and where they're both at. It has to be freely chosen.
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This was a change from books to screen that I really liked.
Book Nynaeve impresses Lan with her tracking skills, and when she realizes he isn’t going to belittle her she blushes, all told from Rand’s perspective. A cute moment, the start of it all. Could be translated directly to the screen, I suppose, in the right setting.
But what we got, for the screen, was so much better. He doubts her, she proves him wrong by trying to stab him, and with seven words (and Daniel Henney’s excellent delivery) we know he’s impressed and intrigued. And just in case we weren’t sure yet, we also learn Nynaeve isn’t the type to give up just because she had lost. She bites him, he knocks her out, and she wakes up tied to a tree ready to fight some more. You know, they way you normally meet the love of your life ❤️
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