#Leaving the jester boys so soon? smh
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I see everyone likes Y/n
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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E91 (Jan. 21, 2020)
Good evening, everyone! Sorry about missing last week; @eponymous-rose was out of town and I had some other commitments. Regardless, here we are! Brian is looking handsome and cold, as are Sam & Travis on the couch. Everyone is wearing coats. Is the heat broken?
That said, tonight’s guests are Travis Willingham & Sam Riegel.
Brian starts us off asking Sam if he’s remaking the Wire in Beverly Hills. Sam basically embodies that hello fellow kids meme tonight in a hand-knitted beanie from his wife, a bomber jacket, a yellow tee, and skinny jeans. They quickly photoshop in smoke trailing out of his mouth. We’re just a few minutes in and this is off the rails already.
Announcements: The next issue (#5) of Vox Machina comics comes out Wednesday, Feb. 19! It’s also available online at Dark Horse Digital and Comixology. And that’s it! Huh.
Episode 91: Stone to Clay
Brian tells us this is the first time ever to have Sam & Travis alone on Talks. I’m stunned and so are they. Sam says, “between me, Brian, Dani, and Travis right now, there’s four tens on this show right now.”
We’re already into questions less than ten minutes into the show. Truly this is a remarkable night.
63 in game days and 21 episodes passed between Caduceus’s first mention of Stone (episode 71) and Fjord connecting the dots. Travis blames the internet connection and his really bad ADHD night, as that was the night he and Laura remoted in from the hotel.
Brian tells us that when Ashley used to skype in, she could only see Matt & couldn’t see or really hear anyone else.
Travis says there was a huge delay for him between mouths moving and the audio coming through, and then that audio was pretty distorted. Laura could handle it okay, but Travis just heard a jumble and couldn’t parse it.
Sam took a CBD bath the other day and found it exactly as relaxing as a normal bath. Sam & Travis commiserate about taking baths only to have their knees pop out of the water. Tall people problems smh
Caleb & Nott completed the spell in less than a week, including dealing with the Angel of Irons & brokering peace treaties. Travis though the laughter was going to be Helas.
Travis says he definitely didn’t hear the name the first time (he remembered dust but not stone from the lava pits). “Look! Yes! No, I was not listening before! Thursday nights are my times to enjoy my friends and food! Marisha is an amazing note-taker; why would I ever take my own? This is how I got through college!”
Sam says he keeps a mission checklist in his head and has for ages. He has a page in his notebook labeled “To Do” that includes things like visiting Kiri or Shakaste, in case they have downtime and need ideas.
Travis asks if he continues writing in his (apparently) very small handwriting, and Sam says he has to leave room for Laura to draw all her dicks. They all marvel that she is actually a very good artist.
Travis honestly still thinks the Stone name is a huge coincidence, especially since Taliesin didn’t have access to Fjord’s last name when he created Caduceus’s last name and backstory. Sam challenges Travis that even if that were true, doesn’t he think Matt will find a way to tie it together?
Travis says Fjord doesn’t want anything to do with the last name and it’s not even his real name. He’s not convinced this isn’t a coincidence.
Travis did a lot of research into orphanage naming conventions when coming up with Stone. He does have a backstory as to how the orphanage manager picked Stone as his name.
Travis thinks Matt would have emphasized the Stone name more sooner if it had been a true connection and not coincidence.
Brian: “He does like to take credit for coincidences, doesn’t he?”
Nott didn’t think there was a catch in the ritual; Sam was more surprised they were allowed to achieve the milestone at all. He was shocked it happened so soon in the story and that the spell is relatively easy to cast.
He didn’t know it would fail, but there was a moment when he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go through with it. Travis agrees everyone was shocked when it didn’t work.
Fjord’s current stance on faith and destiny hasn’t changed since the last time he discussed it. Faith is a slow thing for Fjord and he really does think the name is a coincidence.
Sam as a player is excited to see what comes next for Nott; “if she had been transformed into Veth at that moment, I would have been excited to see what comes next. The fact that it’s still Nott makes me excited too. I’m excited to see more of Nott since she’s the best character in the M9.” He also confesses he was a bit relieved, in part because it’s delayed the inevitable. At some point she must decide if she is going to stay or go with the M9.
Cosplay of the Week: @kajicosplays on instagram of a lovely lady Percy. Brian: “Isn’t it fun when Taliesin’s characters live?”
Deep down, Nott knows she will do the transformation at some point, but at that last moment where she had to make a decision she had to check in with herself to make sure she was ready. Sam Riegel as a D&D player also knows that you have to trust your DM and make choices.
Brian misreads the word “ribbing.” Sam teaches Travis what rimming is. We all learn a lot about each other.
Sam thinks Fjord can realize when the time comes to set jokes aside. He thinks Fjord was very respectful. Travis has honestly forgotten that the conversation took place.
Travis has Dani answer from Fjord’s perspective. It’s actually pretty insightful, talking about how Fjord recognized someone hesitant to give up these newfound powers that have become intrinsically tied to self-worth.
Fjord has always been loyal, and Travis sees his protectiveness of the M9 as a logical extension of this.
Right now, he has found some agency & self-direction and is hopeful to share that sense with everyone else (he especially mentions Yasha).
Sam & Travis start quoting from Half-Baked. This is chaos.
Nott does want to stay with the M9, but she also wants to go home for sure, both of those things. The kiss with Caleb wasn’t necessarily a goodbye; it felt like the closing of a chapter. It felt like something to mark the end of the experience.
Now they’re quoting Beverly Hills Cop. Oh, boy.
“You look like you wrote Pitch Perfect.” When did this turn into a roast?
Fjord has no memories earlier than the orphanage (The Driftwood Asylum). There were a couple dozen kids there aside from him; Travis thinks some of them might have been named Stone. It also operated as a small child-labor workshop for carpentry & woodshop stuff. “It was a terrible place all around.” He has no images of parents or being dropped off.
Sam thought the Nott transformation would be more endgame, though he feels it makes sense that it’s not. “While Nott transforming into Veth was my original goal, what’s great about these long games is that your goals can change two or three times before the end. Now I can explore all these other things: does she want to go back and be a housewife? How does she rectify her obligations to her husband and child to the life that she’s made with the M9? It’s so exciting and interesting.”
Brian asks a hypothetical: if she could transform back but lose all Nott’s memories, would she do it? Sam: “Oh, that’s tough. I don’t know.”
Fanart of the Week: a lovely piece by @pen_draws with everyone in the hot tub.
Travis is very trepidatious about returning to the open ocean after rejecting Uk’otoa. He wants to make sure the third temple is sealed. It feels like it would be too easy for someone not to come and try to collect the job he left half-finished. He also wants to go back to Darktow.
Sam doesn’t know if Nott is still in love with Yeza, although she definitely still loves him. He’s playing with the idea of a high school sweetheart being exposed to the world and then going back home. But Yeza’s amazing, a great guy, perfect. “I guess we’ll find out when/if she turns back into Veth.” Sam feels guilty talking about him. “He’s a fictional character and I feel guilty that he might be watching the show.”
Neither Nott nor Fjord trust Essek. Travis: “He just went from being cold and aloof to being really warm. I know there’s been time and he’s lived an isolated life, but...time will show if he’s being genuine. All of our haunches were up. All of us were on level five alert.” He’s being so helpful that Travis doesn’t trust Mercer with him.
Fjord never ever considered becoming a paladin of the Traveler. “No. Fuck no!” The Wildmother reached out and directly intervened to save him. Travis gets super creepy bad vibes from the Traveler’s relationship with Jester (Sam agrees).
Nott feels more pressure when her own problems become the focus. It’s hard for her to open up and talk about her feelings. She’d rather pick up on other people’s problems. Sam also acknowledges it’s more pressure on him (and anyone) as a player when the whole table is looking at you.
And that’s that! Is it Thursday yet?
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Itachi's Request
Continuation of Akatsuki Kids
The very same day
Itachi walked up to me and glared.
Itachi: Remember the deal?
Pain: Oh yeah well I was only saying it to-
Itachi: I don't care a deals a deal
Pain sighed
Pain: Fine have it your way
The deal was it Itachi went to bed he would get to be king for a day. Itachi as king. Man this was gonna be a drag. So I guess that meant everyone had to pitch in and treat him "kingly" assuming it's a word. Pain went to the living room where they all were gathered Itachi following him.
Pain: Now listen everyone today we have to treat Itachi like a king
Hidan: Why?
Pain: Because that was the deal
Kakuzu: Oh so you can make a deal with him but, not me.
Pain: That's not the damn point just do it
Konan: Yeah guys just do it
Pain: Why can't you guys be like Konan?
Sasori: I didn't do anything
Deidara: Don't let the crusty old man get to you my man
Sasori: Oki
Zetsu: I wanna be king
Kakuzu: No because plants can't be kings
Zetsu: Can too
Kakuzu: Shut up already
Kisame: I think Itachi being king is great
Sasori: How he hasn't even done anything?
Itachi: Quiet peasants. I now make Kisame my right hand man
Kisame: Thank you your majesty
Itachi: And my jester shall be Deidara
Deidara: NANI?
Sasori: Leave Deidara alonnnneeee
Itachi: No I am king
Sasori: Screw your kwingdom me and Dei-Dei are running away
Sasori grabs Deidara's hand and they run to Pain's room.
This was already getting weird.
Itachi: Konan go after them
I just sit and watch them play this kingdom thing.
Konan: But, their my fwiends.
Kisam grabs her airplanes.
Kisame: Do you wish for your children to suffer then?
Konan: I'm sorry guys
Konan runs after them.
Itachi: Pain make me a sandwhish
Pain: I'm no-
Itachi: NOW OLD MAN!
I rush to the kitchen and make him and sandwhich. When I returned I saw Deidara and Sasori tied up, Konan crying while Kisame was patting her, Kakuzu and Hidan arguing with Itachi.
Pain: Anyone care to explain?
Kakuzu: Itachi made Konan cry
Hidan: Yeah he cwushed her planes.
Itachi: She shouldn't have disobeyed
Kakuzu: No remorse smh
Hidan: Screw off Itachi Uchihoe
Itachi: What did you just call me
Hidan: Uchihoe
Kakuzu: Uchihoe
They both start chanting it.
Itachi runs off and cries with Kisame running after him.
Deidara: HEY HELP US
Tobi comes running in.
Tobi: SENPAI
Tobi unties them.
Sasori: Thanks Tobi
Tobi: I'm here to help
I walk over to Konan.
Konan: He cwushed my planes
Pain: I know how about we make some together?
Konan: YEAHHHHH
They make planes meanwhile Tobi, Sasori, and Deidara play with clay. Kakuzu and Hidan watched Konan for awhile before disappearing into the den. Kisame and Itachi both walk in.
Kisame: Itachi wants to say something guys
Itachi: I'm sorry for being a poopy head and cwushing Konan's plane.
Konan: Is ok Itachi I forgwive you
They hug.
Hidan and Kakuzu walk in.
Hidan: Oh look it's the Uchihoe
Kakuzu: Hah
Konan: Guys stop he apologized
Hidan: Oh well I guess we're sorry then
Kakuzu: Yeah whatever
Konan hugs them all.
Kakuzu: Oi don't hug me
Hidan: yeah ewww hugs
Konan: Whatever ya say boys
Itachi: I'm still king though but, I'll be a good one...mostly.
Kisame: HOORAY!
Itachi: Now as king I declare we go to the park all day!
They all scream "yay".
-----------------------------------------------------------
Pain too them to the park and watched them play.
Sasori: Hey look at what I made Deidara.
It was him and Deidara holding hands but, a mushy pile of mud.
Tobi: Ohhhh cool I made senpai a heart
Deidara: Ohhhh thanks guys
Kakuzu: So how are we going to make money Hidan?
Hidan: Don't know but, as long as I get to do something
Kakuzu: Let's plan another heist
Itachi was siting on a mud throne that Kisame made.
Itachi had his feet on Kisame's back.
Man he was really into this.
Itachi got up and walked towards Pain.
Itachi: I'm thirsty
Pain: I'll go get some water
Itachi: No juice
Pain: Fine juice
He walked to get some water and juice.
By the time I came back everyone was on the ground tired.
I set the juice and water down on the table. As soon as I did that I was surrounded by them.
Konan: I wanna go home
Hidan: Same I can't believe I'm saying it
Kakuzu: Yeah
Itachi: As king I say let's go home and when we get there Kisame prepare me a royal bath.
Kisame: Yes your majesty
They all get home and they all take bathes. And they get in bed.
Itachi: Tell us a story Pain
Pain: No
Konan: Pleeeaasseee
Gore Warning
Pain: Once upon a time there was a boy named Jimmy. One day he asked his mom if santa was real she said no and if he were ever to see anyone in the house to stab them.
Hidan: Ohhh gore
Pain: One fateful day someone in a santa suit was coming in through the chimmey. He took a butcher knife and gutted him turns out it was his neighbor Norman. His mother disowned him and he is now a rouge ninja waiting gutting people with butcher knives. Goodnight.
He walks out.
Konan: 0-0
Hidan: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Kakuzu: Not sleeping tonight
Tobi: Hold me senpai
Deidara: No
Sasori: Hold me Deidara
Deidara: Oki
Kisame: Weirdos
Itachi: I know right
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c2e62
Oh my god he’s starting the ad off actually talking about D&D Beyond??
"I have between 2-4 minutes every night to do whatever I want" a terrifying concept
Oh Sam. We made it 2 whole minutes without talking about genitals smh.
I’m so excited about them making a home here
I hope they post a picture with everyone’s rooms mapped out later
Caleb just using his cat’s paw to help Cad plant his garden
They’re all so cute and excited about the house (except maybe Fjord)
Wait he’s gonna grow his magic giant tree atop the tower???
Okay I love it, Cad and his giant tree atop his tower
Well now everyone knows where the weird heroes of the dynasty are living
Cad’s gonna just grow so much
Everyone else is decorating and Fjord’s worried about putting security shutters on the windows
He’s the only one not having fun with this, poor guy
AWWWW JESTER THAT’S SO SWEET
painting Yasha a pretty mural of flowers I cry
I’m having FEELINGS this is so SWEET
Caleb installing his own alarm system
Cad: "what this—" *leaves, buys copper* "there we go, chimes." :D
Ouch. That’s a 450 worth of gold, 250 if he has to do more than once
200g to keep his garden alive and sunshiny. Worth it.
Cad’s gonna make little fairy lights!
The neighbors are jealous of Cad’s fairy garden
AYYYYE finally working on the teleportation circle
Which.... makes me nervous because Yusah could easily trap them/hand them over to the Empire
LB, about the tree: "will it be like that all the time?"
F: "I think that’s how trees work, yeah."
—
L: with a Nat1 "I’m gonna go ask Fjord"
T: Nat20
Oh wait did he say Dark Tow?
"I’m fine" Fjord you’re a fucking LIAR
!!!!! Caleb put together the Alchemical lab for Yeza!!!!
Oh my god all I want now is Yeza and Luke and Veth living in a house with the M9 and they
Oh no
The letter
Fuck
Forgot about the letter
Oh no
I don’t think they said anything about money and inheritance did they?? And they mentioned Caleb’s name didn’t they?? Fuck I can’t remember what they said
OH HOLY SHIT IT’S FROM CALIANA
Gotta go back soon
Oh shit it’s from Solstrice fuck
Oh god they put their names
SOMEONE FIND ME THE CLIP FROM THAT LETTER
Yes god plz message mom and make sure she’s okay and warn her about anyone named Astrid or Ikathon
FUCK god what will this do to Jester and Caleb if they’re watching her or if they take her
These people have already hurt Nott’s family and now they could hurt Jester’s too and Caleb’s gonna feel so bad
N: "I just wanted you to have a friend."
C: "I have friends."
N: "Well you didn’t then."
IM HAVING FEELINGS AND IM SCARED
Caleb’s real jittery now
Mmmm given that you haven’t confirmed no bugs we shouldn’t be talking about Dairon maybe
While Caleb and Nott or Caleb and Beau are having serious conversations, the clerics are planning to build a spa xD
Boy I can’t wait for Caleb to corner Fjord I hope he gets something out of him
Caleb just whips that medallion out any time, like he has that thing ready
THAT’S SO MUCH GOLD WTF
Ohhhh I physically hurt
1000g that they could lose
I hope they call the house the Treehouse from now on
Ayyyy Essik!
B: "do you want to stay for dinner?"
Me: do you want to stay forever?
Ohhhh I didn’t catch that they took their surenames from the dens
"Show me"
Oh gosh
Caleb honey the cat? Really?
C: "My people are perverting your magic. I wish to understand better, so that I can better help."
E: "Are you busy right now" WHAT
E: "May I?"
B: "I invited you twice but yeah yeah enter."
They’re HOSTING
This feels like a trap
Like that’s as too easy right?? He only rolled a 12
"Let me teach you a few things"
OH MY GOD
WHAT
UP TO 3 SPELL LEVELS OF DUNEMANTIC MAGIC?!??
WHAT
FUCKING
WHAT
It’s a trap right it’s gotta be a trap
"Bending of fate, destiny" the whole table freaks out
Fucking
This is gonna be a trick it’s gotta be a trick
Frick guys I’m so in love with Essik
B: "Caduceus calls it a ‘White Xhorhassian’—"
E: "...Mildly racist, but..."
God I hope that wasn’t some sort of trick or trap for Caleb
Fjord and Caleb talk now oh boy
OHHH SHIT WAY TO LEAD IN CALEB
Why you lyin’ Fjord why you always lyin’?
Caleb’s trying to... help?
Boy remember when I felt like Fjord and Caleb were gonna be the bro’s
"What do you think, we’re gonna chase you out of here, run you off?"
YES THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HE THINKS
"I found myself reinvented when I woke up on that shore"
"I didn’t care for that life, didn’t care for me. I prefer to leave it in the past. It’s not that I’m hiding anything from you, I... I don’t wanna bring things from my old life into this one. I can sound like many people, do many things."
God why do so many people in this group have pasts they need to hide from???
They’re both so scared the past is gonna swallow them up, hurt them and the people around them
C: "Because I worry about you all. And maybe I just want to know that you... are not worried about that as well."
F: "There is nothing that nips at my heels or at my back that is a danger to anyone else in this group." BUT IT’S A DANGER TO YOU FJORD AND THAT WILL MATTER TO THEM.
This talk is hurting me
C: "We can remake ourselves into something better."
F: "Yeah, I... that’s what I thought I was doin’. I can promise there is no danger from my past. I like this me, I love it."
God I’m so sorry that I ever suspected Fjord because I feel like a heel now
Caleb, trust him and don’t push. He’ll come to you when he’s ready.
C: "The only reason the group knows about me is because I am... Crazy"
F: "I don’t think you’re crazy, you’re one of the more out together people I know. At least that’s what you show. Thank you for... I want to say caring."
C: "That is accurate. Give me your hand. I am not a good person, but we are friends."
Also who else is crying because Caleb called them family
Also "give me your hand" slayed me I’m such trash for casual touches especially in a non-romantic sense
Perception check why
Back to the sword good good good
I thought for sure he was gonna say her hair was gonna start falling out
J: "By the second day it’s starting to turn greasy."
C: "My how the tables have turned."
Poor Sprinkle :(
Making a weasel nest in the tree
POOR SPRINKLE
"The big bad has been revealed" xD
"You throw some rats in there—" Taliein is dying of laughter
Sprinkle is going to run away
Guys Bryce is a town guard they don’t have time to just personally escort Luke and his guardian
They definitely need to get back to Luke, but it’s going to be hard to do at this point
Mmm Caleb wanting to ask Essik to get them to Alfield
Call me crazy, I wonder if they could ask the Gentleman for help
Or like, Cali or Keg or one of their friends
LIKE SHAKASTE
THAT’S RIGHT good thinking Nott! He’s not in Alfield probably I imagine, since y’all last saw him up near Shady Creek Run, but he would def help I’m positive and then he could guest star again
I feel like robbing a shop is probably not the best idea right now? Like even if they have a good reason I don’t think it’s the best plan
F: "Moro I don’t know how to say this but I... need you."
Oh my god FJORD xD
The glow is gonna be something stupid and pointless
The glow is something alive?? Someone invisible?
Hmmm interesting
"Oh my god it’s a front"
Of course they found drugs
Oh dang ground white stone. 1000g enchanting??
Okay so can they use it to help pay for Yasha’s thing?
Okay why does she have enchanting dust
In a place where an Empire spy is supposed to go
Ohhhhh they got a map!! New map new map!
Gonna lie I don’t like the idea of M.T. House. It’s nice to remember Molly but... idk
AYYYY GETTING IN TOUCH WITH SHAKASTE
We had so better get Shakaste back on the show!!
Please please please bring Khary back!
Oh dang yes the scrying worked!
Oh boy
"My liege"
If they choose to tell the Dynasty about this they’ll 100% be traitors, once and for all
Which like... I’m okay with. I don’t have any preference for the Empire and I like things about the Dynasty.
Scourgers...
Royal assassins
"My liege" is the King isn’t it
I really think they need to tell the Bright Queen
B: "Were they training you to be a scourger?"
C: "I think so." holy shit
God what if Astrid and whatshi are scourgers already
Have I mentioned how amazing Matt is to come up with all this and connect all these threads
Mmm Cad and Jester being a voice of reason
Cad: "Some things are too big to get on top of. Some things are bigger than us."
Cad’s being smart. They need to give a warning, not try to also control the situation.
Go immediately.
Where’s that whole thing coming from, Caleb? There’s really no reason to get that involved. Just like tell them what’s coming, that’s all you have to do. Listen, Caduceus is right.
Poor Beau
She’s kinda been stuck in a corner where she has to betray a homeland she’s not that fond of, but she is fond of Dairon
Oh gosh, Beau. :(
This is such a good moment for her, realizing that people are people wherever they are, that she doesn’t want to betray the people in the Empire, as little as she cares about the Empire itself
She’s not gonna slit your throat honey it’s fine
Boy next week is gonna be really intense again
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c2e24 reactions
Sam’s rejected ads
“All over my Emmet Smith commemorative snuggle!”
“IT’S A TROY AIKMEN SNUGGIE!!!”
SAM THAT SONG ROUGH DRAFT WASN’T FUNNY omg
I like how Sam’s ads are clearly 90% to make his friends die of laughter and 10% to actually promote D&D Beyond
Not immediately knowing that Jester was drawing a dick with her sparkler smh
Fjord seems really not sure about this town and I love it
Marisha/Beau meanwhile is really into it
I like how Fjord, the shiftiest fuck in the group, is concerned about other people being shifty fucks
I MISS YOU ASHLEY SOMEONE BUY YASHA A FLOWER NECKLACE
Beau just bought so many explosives
BEAU BUY FLOWERS FOR YASHA
the flower vendor’s voice I’m crying omg
omg they’re gonna explode the firecrackers with firebolts in the street these nerds
They are all so giggly tonight I love them
Oooo here we go Jester on the piano
“I’m going to sit down and try to play Chopsticks” I knew it xD
“blamblamblamblamblAMBLAMBLAMBLAM”
Beau and Molly with their charisma flops
“I like you, you’re colorful.” Molly flirting with the innkeeper is giving me life
Oh god drinking contest later
Fjord is regretting sharing rooms with Molly now lol
They are being SO GOOFY tonight I’m living
Aww they ended up with a sad babby outcast gnome
Molly stepping in like a total dad
MOLLY HAS THE WORST CHARISMA AND INTIMIDATION
oh fuck this gnome punk flicked him off
omg Molly blood maledict?? ….actually since it won’t hurt him he probably deserved it.
GUYS OMG
So is tiny gnome chick’s name Reesa?
Beau continues to prove that she is the ultimate disaster lesbian
Nott and Jester choreographing a dance oh boy
TEAM DRINKING COMPETITION OMG
DONT. FUCKING. LEAVE. KIRI.
sure Nott let’s pay a working woman to babysit your baby bird
YA’LL. DON’T.
Oh right just have Yasha babysit Kiri that’s using your noggin there Molly
The innkeeper flirting with both Molly and Fjord
IM
CRYING
Fjord is so awkward
“She’s small, I can hold her down” Matt that was perfect and the most in-character way you could have played Yasha
Please stay safe Kiri my baby bird daughter child light of my life
OH DAMN JESTER
Jester being jealous trying to be catty with the innkeeper
B: “Did you just put a hooker on layaway?”
F: “Did you just say I’d had sex with your mom??”
J: “Yeah as soon as I said it I realized it sounded really creepy.”
Insight checking to find out if Fjord is a virgin omg
Caleb back to looking for bookstores that’s my boy
Molly please tell me you’re getting flowers for Yasha
Ah frick Nott you should be more careful please
Aw Nott don’t be sad :(((((
I’m glad Beau is trying to reassure her about not feeling bad about herself
Ooooo some Beau backstory
lol Beau was a bootlegger juvenile delinquent I love her even more
Holy shit her dad paid the monks to abduct her no wonder she has issues with authority
Jester is basically offering Fjord free sex at this point she wants him real bad
Meanwhile Travis is dying
Yoooo my boy found his bookstore
They’re closed, of course. But he can go back in the morning.
SOMEBODY BUY YASHA A PRETTY SILK FLOWER THING DAMMIT PLEASE
Matt’s little girl voices are the fucking cutest things help me
Jester setting up a playdate for Kiri I’m not crying you are
Tara is the cutest baby gnome child ever
Save a flower for Yasha please I’m literally begging
Caleb encouraging Nott to dance my heart
The Wand of Smiles thing kills me every time they use it
Matt is having WAY too much fun playing this innkeeper dwarf
30 gold just to get blackout drunk my god
Caleb needs to blackout he’s probably a lightweight
Oh damn wait Jester should probably
If anyone wins this for them it will be Nott she’s practically always drunk already
Aw poor Jester
Matt stop with all these adorable bird and gnome children I want to adopt them all
NOTT’S GONNA USE THE DAILY LUCK smart girl
SCOREBOARD TIME
Molly’s round:
Molly: loses, wins, wins, wins
Duncan: wins, loses, loses, loses
MOLLY WINS and he’s drunk as fuck
Beau’s round:
Beau: TIE, wins, loses, wins, loses, loses
Ruth: TIE, loses, wins, loses, wins, wins
Beau loses… and pukes. Ew.
Caleb’s round (oh boy…):
Caleb: WINS, loses, loses, wins!, WINS!!!
Valkin: loses, wins, wins, loses, loses
(Nott and Jester distraction dance)
CALEB WINS WITH A NAT20 HEEEELLL YEAH THAT’S MY SON THAT’S MY BOY
Fjord’s round:
Fjord: wins, loses, WINS!, WINS!
Tanya: loses, wins, loses
(loooool fjord flirting with his competitor)
(Jester plz stop you’re gonna make Caleb puke)
FJORD WINS WITH DOUBLE NAT20s OMG!!
oh no don’t do it double or nothing please
oh god they’re gonna do it here we go
Nott’s round (please kick his ass Nott plz):
Nott “Otto The Bottomless Pit”: wins, wins!, loses, WINS!!!!!!!!!!
Blemy “The Whale”: loses, loses, wins, loses
(making herself look gross lol. And using mage hand to pour. Jester trying to bless him.)
NOTT WINS HEEEELLLL YEAH
I really thought they were all gonna lose omg
oh no
oh thank god he passed out before he could out her as a goblin
WOOOO FREE DRINKS
Please go to bed everyone
“The mighty nein, the mighty nein, the mightiest nein to ever neeeiiiinnn”
There’s a lot of love between this group right now. They just need to be wasted to show how much they like each other lol
Awww Jester and Caleb waltzing that’s cute
Molly and Nott join in and suddenly its a dance party
OH SHIT CALEB SAID SHIT HE SHOULDN’T HAVE SAID I’m crying he was into Astrid and now he’s sad
And Jester gets him into bed I CRY
I didn’t need Caleb feelings WHY
Wait what is Molly doing?
Ah blood magic stuff
I’m beginning to expect that Taliesin is drunk irl
MOLLY OMG THAT’S DISGUSTING
Matt’s just like “no, no, we’re not doing that no” he’s a total dad
BEAU GOT PICKPOCKETED
she lost 300 gold wtf
who was close to her I can’t even think of who it might have been
THEY HAVE ALL BEEN PICKPOCKETED
OH MY GOD
NOTT, MOLLY, FJORD, CALEB, AND BEAU HAVE ALL BEEN ROBBED
that’s bad
The only inconspicuous figure I can think of is the little girl but I mean…
Are they gonna accuse the little gnome girl omg you guys I wasn’t serious
Whatever happened to Reesa/Risa?
Oh there she is
JESTER DO NOT
Hnnn they gotta learn not to cast the spells so casually on people it’s gonna come back to bite them in the ass
Awww buying Kiri a cute little music box
Repeating crossbow aw damn Nott’s gonna want it real badly
ENCHANTED repeating crossbow
“The Tinkertop Bolt Blaster 1000”
two thousand gold i choked
REESA BE NICE TO YOUR ADORABLE DAD
Reesa and her dad are adorable I like them
Casting suggest sure let’s just cast more spells on random people smh
You made Fitz cry you guys and you’re probably gonna get them fires it’s not their fault you were dumb enough to get robbed this is a dick move I’m with Jester y’all are taking it too far
Okay good at least now they won’t get fired
OH OH OH THEY GOT A BLIP CHASE IT
god please protect kiri she only has 6hp guys please
IT WAS THE KID OMG
Molly’s about to give him all his gold look at his face
Or Beau will give them gold and Molly will give them advice on how to steal and not get caught stealing xD
…Fjord are you seriously planning a jailbreak right now
Do you even know anything about the prison
Nott is like “the solution is obvious we just adopt them like we adopted Kiri it’ll be great it’ll be fine”
…Fjord that’s soft and sweet I hate you because I can’t decided whether I love you or not
Nott playing on Beau’s backstory to try and prompt her to help find the kid’s parents
“leaving them as cold heartless resting bitches” xD
FJORD KEEPS BEING NICE AND IM. JUST. I WANNA JUST KEEP PICTURING YOU AS A SHIFTY FUCK STOP BEING SO NICE
Also yeah listen Fjord grew up in an orphanage
aw Fjord…
Caleb’s a little salty about this but Caleb come on they’re kids
I can’t believe they’re gonna try to pull off a jailbreak
Leave Kiri with these kids yes and now Matt I beg you do NOT, do NOT let her get dragged away please I beg you
Matt’s ability to perfectly mimic Fjord/Travis is amazing
MAN THIS WAS POSSIBLY THE BEST EPISODE? I loved it. I was laughing so hard for all the first half. Fantastic job @the cast
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c2e20
Can you guys believe it’s been 20 episodes already?? I can’t
LOL oh Sam we love you even if you are a nerdy loser
“IM A REAL ACTOR AGAIN”
I hate him and his ads
I knew it wouldn’t take them long to get into mischief over Nott’s never-empty flask
“How many fingers am I holding up?”
“I think four?”
“How many members of the Mighty Nein are there?”
“Nine.”
“She’s fine.”
Good job changing the subject Caleb xD
F: “Are we not worried about the ambush thing?”
Everyone: “nah”
Yasha liking to snuggle Frumpkin gives me life
Molly just… using the Platinum Dragon tapestry as a blanket and Nott wanting to make it into coats smh
Clouds??
OH ARMY
oh no the cart!
leave the cart get away from the army plz go go go
or ask for help that’s possibly a good idea maybe…
Oh yay Jester, magicing it up!
Aw not enough tho…
Hey @Matt why make them lose their cart that was rude
They are SO BAD at planning on the fly it’s amazing
Hello Captain Maximillian
Laura, grinning: “What do he look like?” Laura is me I wanna know what the NPCs look like always
NOTT
NO
omg Nott plz
omg did it work
lol its food xD
Female solider: looks at Yasha
Yasha: *most awkward grin ever*
I apologize Matt thanks for letting them keep the cart
Jester loves showing off her strength and it’s the best thing ever I love it so much
Beau asking Fjord about his dreams. Beau is gonna singlehandedly dig up everyone’s backstories.
Fjord being a shifty boy about the dreams…
So much rain…. I don’t like it, it’s going to take Ashley/Yasha away soon isn’t it I can tell
YOOOOOOOO YASHA BACKSTORY
IVE BEEN WAITING
baby giiiiirl
BABY GIRL
matt I asked for a week without being sad for one of my children. just a week. that was all i asked for.
jesus matt why do you have to make me sad
Storm god??
stoRM GOD????
“You walk the right path. Be strong. Don’t forget who you were, and decided who you will become.” IT’S FINE IM FINE.
Ashley’s face is the same face I’m making right now
Yasha being an umbrella for Nott lol. For all of three seconds.
My life gets better every time Yasha speaks I’m not even kidding
Yasha and Nott bonding over collecting things is cute
I swear Sam just adds strange new things for Nott to collect every week
Seriously Nott and Yasha are just so precious
Caleb wants to poof in a house all the time
Molly and Nott are the Caleb cheerleading squad and totally believe he can magically poof in a mansion someday
LOL Caleb and his one push up
Please don’t melt the cart, Nott
YAY one vial of acid good for her
Idiots doing bird calls and Fjord and Caleb are jus like “oooookay really tho”
omg are they gonna find a pet crow in a trap i want them to
“THANK YOU OSCAR—I MEAN FJOOOORD”
creepy moving thing in the swamp 0/10
BIRB PERSON?
CREEPY SWAMP LIZARD
goooo Jester!
B: “What are we saving??”
N: “I don’t know, we’re—right now we’re saving Jester!”
SWAMP MAP SWAMP MAP
Haste on Nott, nice!
Oh wait except haste in a battle can be bad…
Matt with a sneaky second gator monster
Nat1, the bird lives!
“A 2, are you fucking serious!?” lol Matt! He’s so salty.
LOL then being like “wait the bird is restrained…” he really wanted to fuck up the bird xD
Fjord just like “why are we doing this”
Enthrall?? Have we seen that happen yet?
I love their enthusiasm about their new spells/attacks
Travis gets so excited every time Yasha rages its my fave
And Liam gets excited every time Nott does something sneaky/rogueish
Not how do you always end up pinned by/inside something
HURRY THE BIRB IS DYING
fighting in a swamp is the worst they’re so slooooow
oh wait i blinked and Yasha is the one in the gator’s jaws now I’m confused
My girl Yasha with the first HDYWTDT of the night again I’m so proud.
RIPPING THE GATOR’S JAWS APART LIKE SHE’S KING KONG YO
oh man poor Not! grappled again. thank goodness for uncanny dodge tho.
Nat20 to beat it on the nose go Beau!
Curse of the Eyeless?? What are all these things??
Liam all like ���no no no matt no hurting nott” is such a mood
SAM DONT RISK IT WHAT THE FUCK
Jester is the worst cleric/Laura is the best worst
poor Fjord has been so useless xD
I TAKE IT BACK showed up just in time to get the other HDYWTDT
“Nott today!” xD
“A slop-dolly of epic proportions!”
Oh the bird! Yay!
Adorable little bird person!
IT SPEAKS
A LIL BABBY BIRDIE??
I LOVE HER ALREADY
i can’t believe the mighty nein are gonna take care of a kid
she wrote thank you awwwwwwww
Four she’s four she’s such a babby
Kiri I’m gonna adopt you
SHE’S LOST POOR BABY
Jester/Laura is in mom mode and I love it
I can’t believe she got stuck and her family just left her poor baby Kiri I’m cryyyying
“Nowhere to go, can I come with you?”
I CRY
“Can you handle a weapon?” CALEB SHE’S FOUR SHE’S A BABBY
omg she put her little wings like she was gonna fight I cryyyyyyyyyy
LOL the way she mimicked Fjord’s voice
omg Nott got that pouch of oats and corn. How convenient!
Beau please don’t hit Kiri
LOL she rolled a Nat20 to hit Beau good for her
OH NO DID THEY EAT KIRI’S FAMILY
Caleb totally playing dad to keep Kiri away from the talk about her family possibly being dead I cryyyyyyy
BEAU YOU CAN’T JUST ABANDON HER
she’s so tiny i love her
YOU WILL NOT DROP HER OFF YOU WILL KEEP HER AND LOVE HER UNTIL YOU CAN GET HER BACK TO HER FAMILY
The mighty nein have 8 members now!
Nott and Jester losing their shit over how cute Kiri is is such a mood
Aw poor baby is scared of Frumpkin xD
Caleb sharing his comfort cat is the cutest sweetest thing ever
Ashley why are you insight checking my sweet bird child
Nott gives to Kiri, Jester gives to Nott, Caleb tries to give to Jester. What a bunch of nerds.
Jester and the cranky old lady
“What the FUCK is pocket bacon?!” xD
Caleb is NOT getting into this place lol. An eight foot climb up a rope? Skinny boy can’t handle that.
Beau, honey, please don’t antagonize the Crown’s Guard
“I don’t like you”
“I get that a lot” Poor Beau
LOL then the awkward face off I love Beau so much
“that was me at 16 with every cop” Taliesin Jaffe backstory
NOTT NO ALCOHOL FOR KIRI
“We’ll get her a Tirly Shemple”
“Is it haunted?”
“….Do you like things that are haunted?”
“Yeah.”
“Then it’s haunted!”
Caleb making an intimidation check oh no
Oh wait it worked? holy cow
“It ain’t worth the coin!!”
“What if we gave you a hundred coin?”
“I’d come for that.”
lol Jester forcing the dude to sing
omg is Matt gonna sing??
I’M CRYING
do not trust the guy to take the cart that’s probably a horrible idea…
Nott darling sweetheart light of my life your problems are not a burden talk to Caleb if you need to
wow listen can we go like three weeks without making me sad about Caleb’s past and Nott’s issues
CALEB MIDDLENAME WIDOGAST DO NOT CALL YOURSELF A GARBAGE PERSON (unless you mean it ironically which I know you don’t) I WON’T STAND FOR IT
Matt’s face while Beau and Jester are talking about Captain Max
DO NOT LET KIRI READ YOUR SMUT BOOK JESTER
Molly like super locking up his room is smart, 10/10, that’s using your head
Fjord are you really just gonna sleep in two inches of swamp water
Yasha is having none of this gross guy’s shit good for her
This episode was sooooo good! I hate that I missed it live. It’s all good though. I’ll be back next week!
ALSO I’M SERIOUSLY GONNA ADOPT KIRI
ending it on teasing Marisha about her notebook
GUEST GUEST GUEST GUEST GUEST
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