i DARE someone to tell me that in this deleted scene, neil isn't pretending, playing, praying for something to change.. for his father not to be his father, for his roommate not to be just his roommate, for himself to be himself.
(and for all of that to be okay, for him to not be wrong to think those things.. for him to just want to act instead of managing all of these unwilling responsibilities he's been given.)
sorry for the bad quality.. it's all screen recorded, but if you wanted the original, you can find it on youtube. (x)