#Lesley Buckle

[yummycrummy]

⚠️ TW for character death ⚠️ Based on my Lesley is dead AU

Roy couldn't believe it. He just couldn't. It had to be some sort of messed up joke, a prank. He knew his Pa that well that he would do something like this to him.

He..he had to see it for himself. Even if he didn't want to believe it. 

The young boy ran down the dirt path through the darkening street, the small houses lining the way making it look almost claustrophobic as he hurried along. Her house wasn't far, he would be there soon. Lesley was fine, she was okay, she was alive- 

Red and blue flashing lights ahead almost made the small puppet stop in his tracks. 

His breathing came out in harsh heavy desperate gasps as he ran to reach them, his vision becoming blurry with welled up tears that stung his eyes. His chest burned and his legs ached but he didn't stop. 

The sight of many police vehicles and many yellow tape that surrounded the scene finally caused Roy to stop, nearly barreling into a few onlookers as they too surveyed the awful scene. Roy panted and stared, wide eyed as he took in his surroundings. He could see a few familiar people and puppets. Not too far away he spotted Lesley's mother and father, talking to a police officer. Her..her mother was crying as her dad held her. 

No, no it couldn't be true- please- 

The boy's wavering gaze fell upon the many police men that were about, before finally landing upon a white sheet that lay on the ground. Roy could feel his heart drop into his stomach, a horrible sickening feeling rising up and causing him to stumble back.

Was- was that her? 

Roy's legs buckled beneath him and he fell to the ground, tears finally falling down his face as he gasped for air. He didn't even care if people were looking at him now, he wasn't even aware where he was anymore. All he could see was his best friend's corpse lying there, her small body splotched with her life source, blood everywhere. Oh god it was everywhere- 

It was all his fault. It was ALL HIS FAULT. Why hadn't he asked if she could've came over, he could've walked with her. She had been all alone, she had gotten hit and it was all his fault. 

Roy let out a pained sob, burying his face into his hands. He didn't even realize an officer was above him, along with two other puppets as they tried to speak with him. Everything was so overwhelming, and he couldn't breathe. It felt like this was a nightmare.

Maybe that's what this was. Maybe he was just asleep and he'd wake up in his bed, and he'd eat the yummy pancakes his mum always made. Then he'd go out and play with Lesley, and she wouldn't be hurt. And then maybe he wouldn't have to feel this horrible...

He..

He hadn't even gotten to tell her how he felt.

His vision went temporarily black for a moment before Roy jolted, and he realized he had been moved somewhere else. He was still outside, but now he had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, and he was now sitting in the back of an ambulance, his small legs dangling over the edge. His face was still wet and stained with tears, and he felt so sleepy. 

He had the distinct feeling that he shouldn't be here, but he felt too drowsy to understand why.

The blue and flashing lights of the police cars almost began to lull him to sleep until he heard a familiar voice call out his name from afar. Roy looked up, startled, and he saw his mother running over to him. 

"Roy! Oh, my baby boy, there you are-" Charlene hurried toward the ambulance as she embraced the small boy tightly in her arms. Roy immediately hugged her back, trembling in her hold as the tears that stung in his eyes still rushing back down his cheeks as he held his mom with all the strength he had left. 

"S-She's gone, mama," The little puppet wept heartbrokingly into the woman's shoulder. The pain was unbearable now. Everything hurt so, so much. "She's, s-she's gone, i-it's all m-my fault.." 

Charlene continued to hold the child in her arms, rocking him gently. She shook her head, tears also falling from her own face. "N-No, no baby, don't say that. It's not.." she shushed him softly as Roy sobbed helplessly. "Come on..you need to come home…you shouldn't be here." 

"All m-my fault..it's a-all my fault.." Roy felt himself be picked up, and he clung to his mother as he kept his face buried into her shoulder. Charlene carried him along, her heart breaking as he kept uttering those words to himself over and over like a broken tape. 

#IM SO SORRY #rrghhshsgf #tw death #dhmisau #fanfic #dead lesley au #tw car accident #tw character death #smart roy #dhmis roy #dont hug me i'm scared au #dont hug me im scared #angst #sad

[cozyaliensuperstar7]

Brittney Spencer 👑🤠

Brittney Spencer (born September 8, 1988) is an American country singer–songwriter. Spencer received notable attention following a viral Twitter video showing Spencer singing a cover of a song by the Highwomen. The video drew praise from fellow country artists and prompted the release of her first extended play (EP) titled Compassion (2020). She has also released several singles, including 2021's "Sober & Skinny". Spencer has since performed on the Country Music Association Awards and has embarked on a world tour.

Spencer is a native of Baltimore, Maryland. She developed an interest in music from singing in church. "Church, for me, was very cultural. It’s spiritual, but also very cultural. Families like mine, we couldn’t really afford singing lessons or anything like that, so I just sang in the church all the time," she told Baltimore magazine. She was raised as an African Methodist Episcopal. Spencer also came from a musical family. Her father was part of a quartet band. A friend from church got Spencer interested in The Chicks, which developed her interest in country music. From there, she developed interest in artists like Taylor Swift. She attended magnet schools in her teen years, including the George Washington Carver Center for Arts and Technology. During this time she learned to play guitar and piano. Spencer also took vocal lessons from a coach who taught her how to sing in a recording studio. She began by singing background vocals for R&B and gospel artists including Jason Nelson. In February 2013, Spencer moved to Nashville, Tennessee to pursue country music full-time.

Tanner Adell 👑🤠

Tanner Adell is an American country music singer-songwriter. Her debut album, Buckle Bunny, was released in 2023.

Adell was born in Lexington, Kentucky, and was adopted and raised in Manhattan Beach, California. She spent summers growing up in Star Valley, Wyoming. She learned to play piano and taught herself guitar, then studied commercial music at Utah Valley University. She was raised in the the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and completed two years of missionary service in Stockholm.

Tiera Kennedy 👑🤠

Reyna Roberts 👑 🤠

Reyna Roberts is an American country singer-songwriter and pianist. She is known for her July 2020 debut single, "Stompin' Grounds" as well as multiple appearances on NFL's Monday Night Football.

One of the few visible Black women in country music, Roberts is known for advocating for "acknowledging the past" of country music, which includes acknowledging Black artist mentors such as Lesley Riddle, and learning the history of the banjo and the term "Music City" for Nashville.

Roberts was born in Alaska and raised in Alabama and California. Both of her parents were combat engineers in the Army. She was born two months premature, weighing two pounds; when her family heard that she might have cognitive, physical, visual and vocal developmental issues, they used music to aid her brain development.

The first time Roberts performed music was at the age of three, when her mother took her to a karaoke bar in Alaska. When she was 10 years old, her family lost their home but paid for a storage unit to store her piano so Roberts could continue practicing the instrument. She continued playing in the family storage unit for three years.

Throughout high school Roberts competed on her high school wrestling team, and she began songwriting to woo the captain of the team. She recorded the resulting song, "Lying to Myself," in 2014. In 2016, she released the EP "The Beginning," which included the song "I'm Coming For Ya" and went on the Spring High School Nation Tour. She toured around the U.S. and opened for the Plain White T's.

#brittney spencer #tanner adell #tiera kennedy #reyna roberts #black country queens #beyoncé #blackbiird #act ii #Spotify

[caughtonwebcam]

dhmis Lesley theory 

okay buckle up

Yellow guy is a recreation of Lesley’s son David, who died in some tragic incident. This can be backed up by Lesley saying “you’re not my real son”, and Duck’s gravestone that says “David”. We know that David isn’t Duck’s name, but it would explain why Yellow guy has a “D” on his overalls. Obviously that’s not Yellow guy’s name, but in real life, it could have been. Lesley can also be seen with a child in a photo.

In life, Lesley had a family with Roy and his son David. Roy was abusive, absent, and cruel, and loved to target David. Trapped in a loveless marriage and unaware of Roy’s abuse behind closed doors, she turned to David as her only source of happiness. She loved to sew, specifically dolls and puppets, and enjoyed making toys for David. His favorites were Red guy and Duck. When he died, Lesley spiraled, sewing patches into her skin. Fueled by grief, she created the world the puppets live in (based around a doll house David used to have) to give David another chance at life, Red guy and Duck there to act as family/friends/caretakers when Lesley couldn’t, since she was controlling it all. However, she wanted complete supervision of them at all times to ensure Yellow would never get hurt, which is why they can never leave. She did this for 38 years, but then decided to give Roy another chance, despite him leaving her shortly after David’s death, since it was lonely never being able to interact with Yellow guy. She needed company. However, despite recreating him, he still maintained his sadistic tentencies. Roy used to work with Lesley to watch over Yellow guy and send the teachers, but this got out of hand when they became dangerous to punish Yellow guy, upsetting Lesley and she decided to work alone, leaving Roy to lurk and stalk the three. This can explain why the teachers are less cruel in the tv show than the web series.

#dhmis #dont hug me im scared #don’t hug me I’m scared tv show #dhmis lesley #dhmis theory #dhmis yellow guy #dhmis tv show #dhmis red guy #dhmis roy #dhmis duck #theory

[still-single]

TOP 10 / NEW HEATHEN DISCO

Here are ten great records from 2023. There are 30 more where these came from.

Ryan Davis & the Roadhouse Band – Dancing on the Edge (Sophomore Lounge)

The Tubs – Dead Meat (Trouble in Mind)

Adulkt Life – There Is No Desire (JABS/Our Voltage)

Water Damage – Two Songs (12XU)

Sharp Pins – Turtle Rock (self-released / Tall Texan)

Meg Baird – Furling (Drag City)

Wireheads – Potentially Venus (Tenth Court)

Beau Wanzer – A Dead Person's Monologue (iDEAL)

Al Karpenter & CIA Debutante s/t (Ever/Never)

Thee Retail Simps – Live on Cool Street (Total Punk)

And here's the latest set from the Heathen D:

Fatamorgana – Espacio Profundo

DJ Manny – You N You (feat. DJ Phil)

Shackleton – There Is a Seed

Glen Brown & King Tubby – World Dub: Away with the Bad

Omen – Possessed

MOR Mines – Nameless Dub

Skinner Pilot – Traces of Alignment

Tanner – Wig

The Wind-Ups – You’re Not That Cool

Manu Dibango – Ba-Kuba

Static Cleaner Lost Reward – Basic Trouble 

Delkon – Superjack (Orbital Infusion 2000)

Lesley Gore – No Matter What You Do

Ice Cube – We Don’t Want No 8-Ball

Strange Fox – Bring it on Home

The VSS – Conscious

Total Control – Expensive Dog

Wipers – No Generation Gap

Bog People – Education

MXLX – Perdita de Sangue

Topdown Dialectic – untitled

Barbara Manning – Temperature’s Rising

Hallelujahs – I’ll Soon Follow, No Matter Where You Are

My Dad Is Dead – I Had a Dream

Rosali – Pour Over Ice

Red Pants – Witching Hour

Naked Roommate – Lube Boys

The Colours Out of Time – Diamonds

Bravais Lattice – Orientation Matrix

Hammered Hulls – Staggering Genius

Just Mustard – Seed

Monty Buckles – Miss You (demo)

Skywave – Here She Comes

Glittering Insects – Calcified Time

Happy Go Licky – Born Like Steam

Tommy James & the Shondells – I’m Alive

Vapourspace – Gravitational Arch of Ten

Bailterspace – Code

Bailter Space – Separate Circles

Ela Orleans – Black and White Flight

Hurl – She Laughed She Died (live)

#still single #best of 2023 #heathendisco #dj set #chicago #review #bandcamp #mixcloud

[aijamisespava]

Wrapped 2023 (Aijamisespava Edition!)

Oookay, taking a break from my messenger role in Eurovision Land to bring you something different (buckle up, this is going to get long). Yesterday was Spotify Wrapped, and while I'm off celebrating my favorite songs that made it to that top 100 list, I also become a wild statistician and bring you my stats.

General Stats: Well...I listened for 139,902 minutes (more than my friends and family), my top artist was Taylor Swift with Evanescence, Panic! At The Disco, My Chemical Romance, and Loïc Nottet rounding out my top 5. I'd go into my top 5 songs but.....Loïc Nottet took 3rd and 4th with "Mélodrame" and "Mud Blood" respectively. What about the rest? That's what I'm here for.

Welcome to my Eurovision 2023. Any Eurovision song that makes my Spotify Wrapped is in my Grand Final. So countries can participate as many times as they appear. So here is my list. I'll have their actual placement on my Wrapped in parenthesis.

Latvia 2023: "Aijā" by Sudden Lights (1)

Serbia 2023: "Samo Mi Se Spava" by Luke Black (2)

Türkiye 2010: "We Could Be The Same" by maNga (5)

Switzerland 2021: "Tout l'univers" by Gjon's Tears (7)

Norway 2023: "Queen Of Kings" by Alessandra (9)

Australia 2023: "Promise" by Voyager (12)

Slovenia 2023: "Carpe Diem" by Joker Out (13)

Czechia 2023: "My Sister's Crown" by Vesna (14)

Georgia 2023: "Echo" by Iru (15)

Italy 2023: "Due Vite" by Marco Mengoni (17)

Armenia 2023: "Future Lover" by Brunette (19)

Austria 2023: "Who The Hell Is Edgar?" by Teya + Salena (20)

Lithuania 2023: "Stay" by Monika Linkyte (23)

Finland 2023: "Cha Cha Cha" by Käärijä (26)

France 2023: "Évidemment" by La Zarra (27)

Romania 2023: "D.G.T. (Off And On)" by Theodor Andrei (29)

United Kingdom 2023: "I Wrote A Song" by Mae Muller (31)

Australia 2016: "Sound Of Silence" by Dami Im (48)

Czechia 2022: "Lights Off" by We Are Domi (49)

Switzerland 2020: "Répondez-moi" by Gjon's Tears (52)

Bulgaria 2017: "Beautiful Mess" by Kristian Kostov (53)

Greece 2022: "Die Together" by Amanda Tenfjord (56)

Sweden 2015: "Heroes" by Måns Zelmerlöw (59)

Finland 2014: "Something Better" by Softengine (60)

Belgium 2015: "Rhythm Inside" by Loïc Nottet (61)

Italy 2014: "La Mia Città" by Emma (64)

Austria 2022: "Halo" by LUM!X and PIA MARIA (68)

Russia 2016: "You Are The Only One" by Sergey Lazarev (69)

Belarus: "Forever" by ALEKSEEV (72)

Denmark 2013: "Only Teardrops" by Emmelie de Forest (73)

Ireland 2020: "Story Of My Life" by Lesley Roy (79)

Ireland 2022: "That's Rich" by Brooke (87)

Ukraine 2017: "Time" by O. Torvald (93)

Finland 2022: "Jezebel" by The Rasmus (96)

Cyprus 2021: "El Diablo" by Elena Tsagrinou (97)

Moldova 2010: "Run Away" by Sunstroke Project (100)

Honorable mentions go to "Gladiator" by Jann and "Novi Plan Drugi San" by Filip Baloš for making my Wrapped at 21 and 32, respectively. They may not have made it to the Eurovision stage, but they have a soft spot in my heart. Unfortunately, I did not have any Junior Eurovision songs make it. But if they did, they would be listed.

#esc #eurovision song contest #eurovision #esc2010 #eurovision 2010 #turkey #moldova #manga #we could be the same #sunstroke project #run away #esc2013 #eurovision 2013 #denmark #emmelie de forest #only teardrops #esc2014 #eurovision 2014 #finland #softengine #something better #italy #emma #la mia citta #esc2015 #eurovision 2015 #sweden #mans zelmerlow #heroes #belgium

[honeyleesblog]

June 6 ZODIAC

Horoscope and character for those brought into the world on June 6 His memory is phenomenal. Anything that they hear, they consider it. They can be effectively adjusted to any situation. They can be fantastic specialists or dealers. They feel better composition, getting out the most recent news, showing others, and so forth. Numerous noticeable authors, columnists, editors, and craftsmen are conceived today. Such individuals are quiet and need to help other people, doing works for a long term benefit. The range of their work is typically very lengthy. His characteristic is certain and amicable, yet can without much of a stretch transform into restraint, reluctance, and chilliness. In any case, they are by and large feeling great and good with others. They are arousing and can be inclined areas of strength for to. They show an inclination to limits. Despite the fact that they really buckle down, this frequently doesn't bring them much advantage. They can likewise turn into a business achievement. What undermines them? That regardless of such a lot of work, these individuals may not find success enough, either because of their absence of prescience or conditions unchangeable as far as they might be concerned. Zodiac sign for those brought into the world on June 6 In the event that your birthday is June 6, your zodiac sign is Gemini Zodiac sign for those born on  June 6 

 character: watchful, fiery, frank, unusual, discourteous, volatile; calling: writer, airline steward, undertaker; colors: yellow, white, turquoise; stone: quartz; creature: turkey; plant: coconut palm; fortunate numbers: 5,11,14,21,23,28 very fortunate number: 3 Occasions and observances - June 6 Russian Language Day at the Assembled Countries. Sweden: Public Banner Day. Chile: Public Exchange Day. Argentina: Argentine Designing Day. Bolivia: Educator's Day. World Transfer Day. June 6 Big name birthday celebrations. Who was conceived that very day as you? 1900: Luis Gutiდ©rrez Soto, Spanish draftsman (f. 1977). 1901: Jan Struther, English essayist, maker of the personality of Mrs. Miniver (d. 1953). 1901: Achmed Sukarno, Indonesian lawmaker, first president somewhere in the range of 1945 and 1968 (d. 1970). 1903: Aram Khachaturyan, Russian author (d. 1978). 1904: Lesley Whiten, English essayist and explorer (d. 2007). 1908: Roberto Echevarrდ­a, Spanish soccer player (d. 1981). 1909: Isaiah Berlin, English scholar and author of Latvian beginning (d. 1997). 1910: Jaume Vicens Vives, Spanish antiquarian (d. 1960). 1911: Jean Cayrol, French writer (d. 2005). 1923: Virginia Cleo Andrews, American essayist (d. 1986). 1924: Serge Nigg, French author (d. 2008). 1925: Josდ© Marდ­a Rodrდ­guez Mდ©ndez, Spanish essayist and writer (d. 2009). 1929: Jorge Villamil, Colombian author (d. 2010). 1930: John Elliott, English antiquarian and Hispanicist. 1931: Vდ­ctor Mora, Spanish comic scriptwriter and author (d. 2016). 1932: Argentino Larrabure, Argentine military man grabbed for a year; executed (f. 1975). 1933: Heinrich Rohrer, Swiss physicist, 1986 Nobel Laureate in Physical science (f. 2013). 1934: Albert II, Belgian blue-blood, lord somewhere in the range of 1993 and 2013. 1936: Sotir Kosta, Albanian stone carver. 1936: Maysa, Brazilian vocalist and musician (d. 1977). 1936: Malangatana Ngwenya, Mozambican craftsman and artist (d. 2011). 1939: Louis Andriessen, Dutch author. 1939: Jaume Aragall, Spanish tenor. 1939: Hდ©ctor Espino, Mexican baseball player (d. 1997). 1940: Manuel Ramდ­rez Jimდ©nez, Spanish legal scholar and political researcher (d. 2015). 1942: Norberto Rivera Carrera, Mexican cardinal. 1943: Josდ© de Jesდºs Gudino Pelayo, Mexican legal scholar (d. 2010). 1943: Richard Smalley, American scientific expert (d. 2005). 1944: Josep Maria Bachs, Spanish radio and TV moderator (d. 2014). 1944: Phillip Allen Sharp, American scholar. 1945: Augusto Cდ©sar Lendoiro, leader of the RCD de La Coruna. 1946: Patricia Poblete, Chilean financial analyst. 1946: Tony Levin, American bassist, of the band Lord Red. 1947: Robert Englund, American entertainer. 1949: Vდ­ctor Manuel Rebolledo, Chilean lawmaker. 1949: Noemდ­ Sanდ­n, Colombian lawmaker. 1951: Carlos Pizarro Leongდ³mez, Colombian lawmaker and guerrilla (f. 1990). 1951: Noritake Takahara, Japanese engine dashing driver. 1956: Bjდ¶rn Borg, Swedish tennis player. 1956: Carlos Gattiker, Argentine tennis player (d. 2010). 1956: Bubbi Morthens, Icelandic vocalist and musician. 1960: Lola Forner, Spanish entertainer. 1960: Jozef Pribilinec, Slovak competitor. 1960: Steve Vai, American guitarist, of the groups Whitesnake and Alcatrazz. 1961: Tom Araya, Chilean vocalist and bassist, of the band Slayer. 1962: Jordi Arcarons, Spanish convention driver. 1962: Andrდ©s Jimდ©nez, Spanish b-ball player. 1963: Gustavo de Arდ­stegui, Spanish ambassador and lawmaker. 1963: Jason Isaacs, English entertainer. 1964: Jay Bentley, American performer, of the band Awful Religion. 1966: Tony Yeboah, player from Ghana. 1966: Astrid Gruber, Venezuelan TV entertainer and model. 1966: Sean Yseult, American artist, of the White Zombie band. 1967: Paul Giamatti, American entertainer. 1969: Fernando Redondo, Argentine footballer. 1970: Eugeni Berzin, Russian cyclist. 1970: Albert Ferrer, Spanish footballer. 1970: James Shaffer, American guitarist, of the band Korn. 1970: Gonzalo Cardenas Gonzalez, Mexican photographic artist. 1971: Silvia Jato, Spanish TV moderator and model. 1972: Cristina Scabbia, Italian artist, of the band Lacuna Loop. 1973: Patrick Rothfuss, American author. 1973: Coraima Torres, Venezuelan entertainer. 1973: Kat Quick, American legislator, contender for president by the Green Faction. 1974: Danny Solid, American entertainer. 1974: Juanra Bonet, Spanish entertainer, comic and writer. 1974: Rolando Fonseca, Costa Rican soccer player. 1976: Geoff Rowley, English skater. 1976: Z-Ro, American rapper. 1976: Jonathan Nolan, screenwriter of film. 1978: Leonora Balcarce, Argentine entertainer. 1978: Carl Barდ¢t, English performer of the groups Filthy Pretty Things, and The Profligates. 1978: Judith Barsi, American entertainer. 1978: Faudel, French artist and entertainer of Algerian plunge. 1978: Andrew Reynolds, American skater. 1978: Mirko Saric, Argentine soccer player (f. 2000). 1979: Juan Martდ­n Jდ¡uregui, Argentine entertainer. 1979: Jorge Consejo, Mexican TV entertainer. 1981: Johnny Pacar, American entertainer. 1981: Anja Juliette Laval, German pornography entertainer. 1983: Michael Krohn-Dehli, Danish footballer. 1983: Gianna Michaels, American pornography entertainer. 1984: Antonia Prebble, New Zealand entertainer. 1984: Noor Sabri, Iraqi soccer player. 1985: Drew Galloway, Scottish expert grappler. 1985: Rodrigo Archubi, Argentine footballer. 1985: Sebastian Larsson, Swedish footballer. 1986: Kim Hyun Joong, South Korean artist, of the band SS501. 1987: Cდ¡ssio Ramos, Brazilian soccer player. 1987: Rubin Okotie, Austrian footballer of Pakistani beginning. 1992: Hyuna, South Korean artist, of the band 4minute. 1993: Sebastiდ¡n Martდ­nez, Chilean soccer player.

[divasemporium]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Baby Phat Lesley Black Women's Platform Sandal Shoes 9.

[fcsuggestor]

name: lesley buckle age/dob: twenty-nine/november 19, 1990 known for: influencer ethnicity: nigerian and english instagram / second instagram

#poc fc #underused fc #female fc #rph #fc help #1990 #cisfem #lesley buckle #freshlengths #nigerian #english

[barrowedits]

─ icons

› like/reblog if you save or use | Ⓒ barrowedits on twitter

#lisa onuoha icons #ashley moore icons #aushosays icons #autumncarterr icons #hanna lhoumeau icons #keeahwah icons #lesley buckle icons #fia hamelijnck icons #aysha sow icons #black girls icons #icon #bookstan icons #icons with psd #icon with psd #twitter icons #icon psd #psd icon #site models girls icon #icons site model #site models icons #site models icon #site models girls #models icons #girls icons with psd #girl icon with psd #aesthetic girls icons #icon girl #icons girls #girls icons #girl icon

[rainy-day-gracie]

Old Friends 6

Warning: Torture and attempted rape, take care of yourselves if you have problems reading!

Fluff/Angst

I also used google translate for Russian since I do not speak Russian, if you can imagine. 

Reader gets kidnapped, and the team fears it may be too late. 

Enjoy! Chapter 6: We were all eating lunch in the break room when Morgan looked at me with a smile. 

    “YLN, you knew Spencer pretty well in college, yes?”

    “Um, yeah. I would say so.” I said with a giggle. 

    “Got any stories?”

    Spencer groaned. “No, please.”

    I laughed. “Um, well... Spencer would always correct the professor. No matter what. On one class day, the professor couldn’t take it anymore. She said ‘Mr. Reid, if you cannot handle a small mistake in my grammar, then you can teach the class!’ And guess what he did?”

    “Teach the class?” Morgan was almost dying of laughter. 

    “Bingo. So a tall, lanky sixteen year old stood by the board and taught everyone for 45 minutes until the class ended. And not only that, he also said ‘Actually Professor, it’s Dr. Reid.”

    “I can’t say this story surprises me,” JJ said in between giggles. 

    “She was teaching the lesson incorrectly! I was doing her a favor,” Spencer exclaimed. 

    “Whatever you say, pretty boy,” Morgan teased. 

    My phone buzzed, and my heart started pounding when I saw the caller. 

    “Um, I have to go really fast... it’s um... I gotta go.” I quickly got up from the table and stood by myself in the bullpen. 

    “Barry, why are you calling me?” I asked. “I’m not on the surveillance job anymore.” 

     “We need you right now.” Barry’s deep voice sounded distressed. “Lia and Frankie are dead, and Gretchen just went missing.”

     The breath caught in my throat. “Is there the same signature?”

     “They were both branded as victims of the Russian Mob in New York City.”

     “Do we know where the lap dogs are? If anyone knows what happened to Lia and Frankie, it’s those thugs.” 

     “We know where they’re holed up, a run down apartment on Lower East side.” Barry paused. “No one knows these guys better than you, YFN. We need you to work your magic. And YFN?”

     “Yes?”

     “Bring your team. We need all the help we can get.” Barry hung up, and my chest started tightening. 

     I looked up the stairs. “Hotch!”

---

“Are you sure your former team leader is alright with you bringing us in?” Hotch eyed me questioningly. “You said your old assignment was codeword-classified.”

    “It was, but after the new circumstances, Barry gave me the green light to bring you guys in. If you want to,” I added. “I know it’s not a formal case, but I’m going to work it on my own either way. I’m by no means demanding your help.”

     “We’ll help you,” Hotch reassured. “We are a family, and you are a part of that family.”

---

“Five years ago, when I had just turned 24, I was assigned a CIA job to conduct surveillance on members of the Russian Mob.” The team stared at me, completely dumbstruck. “I lived and worked from a small, run down apartment down the hall from a foxhole for the Russian Mob. I recorded, analyzed, and reported all their movements.”

    Morgan furrowed his eyebrows. “For how long?”

    “Three and a half years. These thugs that I lived down the hall from were involved in anything from small drug deals to human trafficking to illegal weapons distribution.” I remembered the small apartment that smelled of stale beer. “No one knows these guys better than I do.”

    “Why were you taken off the job?” JJ asked. 

   “I wasn’t taken off the job. I requested a transfer six months before I left the surveillance apartment. My friend, Lia Morales... she took over the assignment after I left.” I paused for a moment. “She was tortured, murdered and dumped in the Lower East side three weeks ago. My other team member, Frank Castellan, was murdered in the exact same fashion one week ago. Gretchen Ryan, the only other one that knew about the operation bedsides Barry and I, went missing yesterday.”

    “Do we have jurisdiction?” Spencer asked. 

    “Yes, they were federal agents and we are a branch of the Bureau. Let’s take a trip to New York City.” Hotch grabbed the case file and hurried out the door. “Wheels up in 30.” 

     “We’re meeting my former team leader, Barry Lesley, at the field office.” I called out as I followed closely behind Hotch.

---

Barry looked exactly the same as he did five years ago. Tall, bald, bulging muscles and a large sense of superiority. He went straight into business as he’s always done. 

    “No time for introductions, YLN I want you positioned nearby the new foxhole for surveillance.” I tried to ignore the way my heart sank at the thought of going back to a tiny apartment like the one I stayed in for three and a half years. “I want the rest of the team focusing on our known group of thugs that do the Mob’s dirty work here at the field office. Everyone got it?”

   Everyone got it, but I could see on a few faces looks of irritation and confusion. They weren’t used to Barry’s take charge action, even compared to Hotch. 

   As we were getting supplies for the surveillance house, Hotch approached me. “YLN, I want you to take someone with you to the surveillance house. If they’re targeting your old team, that means you’re on the list too.”

   “Hotch, I left the team before the assignment was blown. They don’t know about me.” I explained. 

    “Even so, take someone with you.”

    I looked up at Spencer. “Wanna join me?”

    “Of course. Anything.” 

---

The new apartment I’m staying in was even smaller than the last one. The recording gear was scattered on the bed, ready for use. 

    “So, this was your life for three and a half years?” Spencer asked me.

   I let out a bitter laugh as we set up the audio. “Yeah, the only thing that kept me here so long was that I knew I was saving lives.”

   “How did you stay sane?” 

   The question surprised me, then I realized it actually was valid. How did I stay sane? “I didn’t focus on myself. All of my attention was on the people down the hall. Whenever I would hear them talk about ‘packages’ I knew I had to warn somebody.”

   Spencer furrowed his eyebrows. “Sounds lonely.”

   “You have no idea.”

    The recorder picked something up. They were speaking in Russian. “Kogda nam ponadobitsya sleduyuschiy pikap?” When are we needed for the next pick up? 

    “That’s Tevon. He’s almost 30 and he was once on trial for a possible gang related double homicide in Russia six years ago,” I explained to Spencer. 

    “pozzhe segodnya vecherom boss khochet, chtoby my vzyali dopolnitel'noye vremya s novym paketom.” Later tonight. The boss wants us to take extra time with the new package. 

    “That’s Eugene. He’s the oldest, and seems to call a lot of the shots in the foxhole. The Boss we haven’t gotten to yet, so we don’t know who he is, but something strange happened a few months before I left the assignment.”

    “What happened?” 

    “Someone shot the old Boss in the head and took his role. By the way these thugs talk about him, they like this new boss a lot better.” 

    One of the guys got a phone call. “Kakaya? O chem ty govorish'?” What? What are you talking about? “Federaly? Ostavaytes' na linii.” The feds? Hold on.

    “This is not good,” I whispered. 

    All of a sudden the surveillance audio cut out. “Has that ever happened before?” Spencer asked.

    “No, never.”

    Spencer raced towards the door, and right when he was in front of it, the door opened, and a fist collided with Spencer’s face. 

    I reached for my gun, but then I remembered that I didn’t bring it. This surveillance job was only supposed to be undercover, so why would I need a weapon? 

   They knocked Spencer to the ground, and looked over at me. “Tak chto eto krasivaya devushka, kotoraya smotrit na nas.” So this is the pretty girl that’s been watching us. By the voice I could tell it was Eugene. 

   The three men rushed at me, and I felt one of them jam a needle in my neck before my knees buckled. 

---

The first thing I felt was the pain in my arms when I woke up. They were chained above my head, and by the numbness, have been there for a while. 

   The darkness of the chamber I was in still seemed to cast shadows across the faces of my captors. The biggest, Eugene, was sitting in an old wooden chair, watching me with a smile. The youngest, Igor, was asleep on an old ratty couch in the corner. Tevon was nowhere to be found. 

   “Hey Boss, she’s awake.” Eugene called out in English. 

   “Good. Now we can get started.” 

   The voice made me catch my breath in my throat. It didn’t have any kind of Russian accent, but that wasn’t the first thing I noticed. 

   A fistful of my hair was yanked backwards, and with my head tilted back, I could see into the eyes of the Boss.

   Barry. 

   “You son of a bitch.” I whispered. “You killed Gretchen, didn’t you?”

   With his other hand, he traced a line down the center of my throat. 

   “Yes I did. Are you going to be a good girl for me, YFN?” He whispered, his breath hot in my ear. 

   When I didn’t answer, he let go of my hair and fully faced me. 

   His knuckles collided with my jaw, and he leaned in close to my face once I recovered. “Answer the question. Are you going to be a good girl?”

   I licked the blood off my lip and spat in his face. “Never.” 

   Barry just gave me a sick smile, and wiped the blood and saliva off his cheek. “Good. This will be a lot more fun then.”

---

Spencer’s POV

How could she be gone? She was right there and then she wasn’t. I started panicking as the team arrived at the apartment. 

   “Reid, how many guys were there?” Hotch asked. 

   “Three guys, one named Eugene, one named Tevon, and I don’t know the last one.” 

   “I’ll call Garcia to dig up dirt on these guys.” Morgan grabbed his phone and took a few steps away. 

   “How could they know we were here? Nobody knew about this assignment except for us and-“ Spencer stopped. “Barry Lesley. Where is he?”

   Prentiss’s jaw drops. “He said he was going to meet with some contacts a few hours ago but he never came back.” 

   “We have to find him.” Hotch seemed to age almost ten years older in this moment. 

   “And when we do, we’ll make him pay for messing with our family.” Rossi added. 

---

Reader’s POV 

They didn’t even ask me any questions. Barry and Eugene hit me with relentless force for what seemed to be no reason at all. 

   “Do you want some more?” Barry screamed in my face. Tears dripped down my cheeks and I could feel my broken ribs, but not once did I beg them to stop. 

    “I’ve figured you out, Barry.” My hoarse voice croaked. “Before I left the assignment, they were looking to me to replace you, weren’t they? You were going to be either demoted or fired, so when I quit the assignment, you got to stay.”

    “Shut up!” Barry shouted, and he landed a firm punch to my stomach. 

    I gasped for air as I continued. “But you never... forgot that a 27 year old woman... was about to take... your job. That’s the reason you... became the Boss... so you could feel any sense of power... that I had taken away from you.”

    Barry didn’t raise his fist like I thought he would. Instead he snapped one of his fingers, and Igor handed him a serrated knife. “Maybe you’re profiling me... but that won’t do you any good here.” He didn’t smile, he just walked forward slowly. 

    Suddenly my arms, which had long gone numb, were yanked upwards. I was pulled off my knees to where I could barely touch the ground with my toes.

    Barry wrapped his free hand behind me on my lower back. “You’re going to love this... profiler.”

---

Spencer’s POV 

Spencer had never heard Garcia type so fast as she did right now. 

    “Okay, so the Russian thugs don’t own any property in the US, but Barry Lesley definitely does. He comes from an old New York money family, so he has four properties littered all around the state.”

   “Narrow that down to isolated buildings.” Hotch called out to the phone. Spencer was starting to panic. He didn’t even get to tell her...

    “Two properties.”  

   “Barry knows the geographic profile of the comfort zone. If he took YFN to one of those properties, it would be out of his comfort zone as a forensic countermeasure.” Spencer thought about YFN alone in a dirty basement somewhere. “What properties are outside of the comfort zone?”

    “Oh my god, there’s only one! Sending it to your phones now. Please go save our friend!” 

---

Reader’s POV 

The knife was so, so much worse than fists. 

   Barry had ripped off my shirt, leaving me in my bra and pants. He trailed the knife along my stomach, leaving a line of blood behind. 

    The sticky feel of blood on my skin made me want to pass out. Barry suddenly pressed the knife down harder, making me scream. When he pulled away, he had a smile. 

    “Please...” I whispered without thinking. 

    “What was that?”

    My eyesight was blurred in my tears. “Nothing… it was nothing.”

     He laughed, and reached for his belt buckle. “I’ve been thinking about this for years.”

    I squeezed my eyes shut as he lowered his pants and stalked towards me. I bit my lip as he hooked his fingers into my waistband and pulled them downwards. I did anything I could to take myself out of this moment. 

    “Have you seen the article explaining how Pi could be a rational number?” Spencer’s wide eyes looked so excited. “It’s totally preposterous, but still an interesting article.” 

    Rough hands gripping my hips. 

    “YFN, what did you want to be growing up? I wanted to be a cowboy at first, but then after everything with my mom, I decided I wanted to cure schizophrenia instead.” 

    Hot breath in my ear. The rancid smell of cigarettes. 

    “I love you, YFN. I want you to be more than just my friend.” 

    The maniacal laughter echoing in the dark basement. 

    “Hey, um, sorry for the late call. I just wanted to let you know that I’m... struggling. Without you. A case... was more difficult than usual. I’m afraid that I’ll be hooked on something forever, and I can’t walk away from it.”

    People shouting upstairs. A door being kicked in. The sound of a gunshot. 

    “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.”

    A knife being plunged into my stomach. Another gunshot. 

   “I need a medic in here!” I was let down to the ground, rolling on my back. 

   Familiar coffee brown eyes looked down at me and warm hands covered the wound on my stomach. 

   “Spencer...can’t breathe...” I coughed, blood spilling over my chin. 

   “Hey, I’ve got you.”

---

When I woke up, I could feel the pain that flooded my body. I could feel every broken rib and the deep stab wound in my stomach. I was alone in an unfamiliar room, and my heart started pounding in my chest. 

   Are you going to be a good little girl? 

   “Stop,” I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut again. 

    This will be a lot more fun then. 

    “Shut up,” I said louder. 

    That won’t do you any good here. 

    “I said, shut up!” The words ripped from my mouth, along with other shouts and screams. I could still hear him, his hot breath whispering in my ear. All I could think of was the feeling of his knuckles against my jaw, his rough hands gripping my hips. And all I knew was that I had to get out of here. 

    And then I was running, more like stumbling, into the bright hallway as people in scrubs and coats tried to catch me from falling. 

    A man appeared in front of me in a dark red cardigan and black tie. He was saying something. I stopped running, and sank against the wall. The man’s voice seemed to be underwater. 

   “Remember that time in college? We were seventeen and I was too afraid to talk to you?” Spencer. He had knelt down in front of me, his hands cradling my head. 

    “... I got two cups of coffee from the coffee shop... and placed one in front of you in the library.” My voice didn’t sound like mine, as if it was coming from someone else. “I had said...’Coffee is a language in itself.’ You said ‘Jackie Chan.’”

    “You don’t have to fight anymore, YFN.” Spencer let go of my face and held my hands.

    Cold chains tugging my wrists above my head. I could see the bruises the metal cuffs left. 

    I didn’t realize I had started shouting and fighting again until a needle was in my arm, and I could feel someone catch me as I fell. 

---

I woke up in a foggy state of mind. Dimmed fluorescent lights hurt my eyes, and I didn’t feel any pain. A beeping noise filled my ears.

    The warm hand covering mine kept me from panicking.

    “Hey.” Spencer’s eyes were puffy, and his dark bags sinked downwards. 

    “Is this a hospital?” I croaked out softly. 

    “Yes,” Spencer said. “You held on.”

    “Where’s the team?”

    “In the waiting room. Do you want to see them?” 

    I shook my head no. “My brain feels like it’s full of cotton balls... and my throat hurts.”

   Spencer gave me a sad smile. “Just get some rest.”

   “Is that because I was screaming so much?”

    He didn’t answer. 

    “Answer me, Spencer.” 

    His eyes looked down at the floor. “Yeah... you were really scared when you first woke up.” 

    That’s when I remembered everything. “Please don’t leave.”

    “I wouldn’t dream of it, my dear.” Spencer gave me a weak smile. 

    That was a line from one of my favorite books. “You’re cute,” I mumbled as I closed my eyes and drifted off. 

   “You’re beautiful.”

---

   The team came and saw me after I woke up again. Hotch, Rossi, Morgan, Prentiss, JJ, even Garcia flew in from Quantico. And of course Spencer. “Thank you... for saving me.” 

   “Don’t mention it. You’ve saved the day so many times you finally let us have a turn.” Rossi had a twinkle in his eyes that I could swear looked like tears. 

     Hotch cleared his throat. “You’re going to be on medical leave for a while, but the doctor said no lasting damage had been done.” 

    At least not physically. I could tell that’s what everyone was thinking. My eyes found Spencer’s. 

   “Um, we’ll leave you two alone.” Morgan said, and the team shuffled out, leaving me with Spencer. 

    “How long have I been here?” I asked. 

    “We found you yesterday, so you’ve been unconscious for about 24 hours.” He walked forward and stood by my bedside table. 

     “How bad is it?” I whispered.

     He seemed reluctant to tell me. “YFN-“

     “Tell me.”

     He took a deep breath. “Four broken ribs, a collapsed lung, dozens of small wounds all over your body... and a deep stab wound to the stomach.”

    “Did he-”

    “No. He didn’t.”

    I looked at Spencer with sad eyes. “But he tried to.”

     We were quiet for a while, and Spencer sat at the edge of my bed. 

    “I trusted him.” I finally said. “I trusted him and he...” he killed three of my friends to get to me. 

    “It’s okay to cry.” Spencer said softly. But I couldn’t. 

    “Spencer,” I started. “I don’t think I’m going to be the same person I was going into this case.” 

     “I know. And I’ll be here with you every step of the way.” 

     I closed my eyes. “I’m so tired...” 

    “Go to sleep. You’ve earned it.”

 @itsarayofsunshine @thesailbells  @squirrellover1967  @thesailbells @softpeteparker

#spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #dr spencer reid

[babybluebex]

daisy pt.2 [spencer reid]

pairing: spencer reid x fem reader (y/n)

summary: part 2 to daisy, partial rewrite of “someone’s watching” 

word count: 2400+

warnings: season 1 reid, baby’s a dickhead but we forgive him, pregnancy tw

a/n: i’m gonna keep writing this series for a while, so buckle up. i hope you all like it! thanks for the support on the past parts, it means a lot. maybe a lesley smith-judiment thing in the future? 

When I woke up, I felt off. Maybe “icky” was the right word, but I wasn’t sure. It was a feeling that I wasn’t familiar with, and I didn’t know if I liked it or not. I couldn’t pinpoint any specific reason I felt weird; it was more of an overall feeling. 

Spencer was already awake, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. I rubbed my head with exhaustion, and Spencer smiled when he saw me. “Hey there,” he said softly, moving the newspaper to the side. He liked starting the day off by talking to me, and I usually sat in his lap for that conversation. He woke up much earlier and much quicker than I did, so I took the time to wake up. “You slept pretty good.” 

“You could say that,” I chuckled, my voice rough. “You?”

Spencer shrugged. “Nightmare,” he said nonchalantly. “Nothing unusual.”

“Aw, love,” I mumbled. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” 

“You were sleeping so well,” Spencer told me. “You obviously needed it.” His eyes were shining as he looked at me, and I pushed my hair behind my ear. 

“But that’s why I’m dating you,” I sighed. “Remember? This only started so that you would have someone to wake up to when you had nightmares.”

“I thought this started because you hated sleeping alone,” Spencer stated, quirking an eyebrow. I knew he was right, but I still waved my hand dismissively. 

“Whatever,” I said. “But you still need to wake me up when you have a bad dream. Please?”

Spencer sighed dramatically. “Fine,” he said. “If you say so.”

“I do say so,” I told him and kissed the tip of his nose. “C’mon, we’ve got a long day.” 

Spencer and I got ready hastily, and, when we got to the police precinct for Los Angeles county, I was blown away by the sheer size of it. It was nearly as big as our building back at Quantico, and we served the entire country; this was one county’s police department. Spencer must have seen how surprised I was, because he locked his pinky with mine. “Los Angeles county is home to about 10 million people on average,” Spencer told me. “The county itself incorporates 88 cities, each with its own police precinct. This one oversees the whole of the department.” 

“How many people work here?” I asked, because I knew that Spencer would know. 

“About 12 thousand,” Spencer answered. “My lecture is to about 100 people, at least one representative from every city in the county.”

“Are you nervous?” I asked.

Spencer shrugged. “A little,” he said, but I knew him too well. A ‘little’ nervous for Spencer was a ‘lot’ nervous for everyone else. I might even go as far as to say that he was scared. I could see it in his eyes. 

“You’ll be great, Dr. Reid,” I told him. “I know you will.”

“Would you mind sitting in?” Spencer asked. “Just in the back, so I have a familiar face.” 

“Oh, babe,” I mumbled. “I have work to do. I’ll try my best, but I can’t promise anything.” 

“The promise is enough for me,” Spencer told me. 

We were separated almost as soon as we entered the building, and I met up with JJ. She had had a lecture the day before on a new network that the LAPD would be using, and she had stayed behind to stay in a place that wasn’t Virginia for a while. “Hey, JJ,” I started. “Do I seem… Different to you?”

“What d’ya mean?” She asked. 

“Just, I don’t know,” I said. “I feel weird today. Just making sure I didn’t look off or anything.” 

“Weird how?” JJ asked. 

I shrugged. “Like…” I began, struggling to find words to articulate how I felt. “Kinda nauseous. Not like I’m gonna throw up right now, but it’s sorta lingering in the back of my throat. And I feel heavy; like, really, really bloated. I didn’t eat breakfast because I didn’t want to feel even worse. Do you think I have the flu or something?”

JJ smiled at me and gently laid her hand on my arm. “Y/N,” she said. “I felt like that a lot too. It’ll pass; it’s still early.”

My brain didn’t quite comprehend what JJ had said. “I’m sorry, what?” I said, blinking quickly. 

“I recommend crackers,” JJ told me. “It’s the only thing I could keep down the first and second trimesters.”

“What?” I yelped. “JJ, I’m not pregnant!” 

“Are you sure?” JJ asked. “When was your last period?”

“I have an implant, I don’t get periods anymore,” I explained. “Like, I get spotting sometimes, but that hasn’t happened for a few months.”

“When was the last time you and Spence had sex?” JJ asked. 

I clenched my jaw. “Last night,” I answered. “Before we went to that art exhibit with Gideon.” 

“Did you use protection?” JJ asked. 

“I’m not a child, JJ,” I said. “I would know if I was pregnant. Anyway, don’t you think Spencer of all people would know before any of us?” 

“Sometimes his judgment is a little clouded with you,” JJ said slowly. “He doesn’t always see things. But, Y/N, what you’re describing to me is a textbook case of morning sickness. And you haven’t thrown up?”

“No,” I whispered. “JJ, holy shit. Am I…? Could I be…? Fuck!”

JJ turned to where her purse sat behind her, and she dug around in it for a moment before passing me a wad of bills. “There’s a drugstore about a block from here,” she told me. “While Spence is in his lecture, go down there and get a test.”

“I told him I’d sit in on the lecture,” I protested, but I held onto the money all the same. 

“It won’t take long, sweetheart,” JJ said. “I know you’re nervous, but knowing sooner is better than not knowing at all.” 

I nodded in agreement. I stuffed the money into the pocket of my jacket and swallowed thickly, and I went in search of my fiance. After asking Morgan about his whereabouts, I quickly found him sitting in a quiet corner, reading and chewing at pretzels. It didn’t surprise me that he somehow had located a snack machine. “Hey, babe,” I sighed. “I, uh… I’m wrapped up in something right now, and I’m not sure I’ll make the lecture.”

“Really?” Spencer asked, closing his book. “What’s going on?”

“Umm…” I began. It didn’t feel fair to keep this suspicion from Spencer, since, if I was pregnant, it was as much his child as mine, so I took a deep breath. “Don’t freak out yet, because I don’t know for sure,” I started. “But JJ just told me that I might be… And I’m gonna go get a test to be sure, but--”

“Y/N,” Spencer said, putting his hand on my shoulder. “Slow down. I’m not following.”

Boy, was that a first. I bit my bottom lip and my eyebrows knitted together, and I said, “Spence, I think I’m pregnant.” 

The air was full of energy between us as Spencer digested the words I had said. His eyes fell to his book, then back to me, and he took a deep breath. He looked like he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. “I…” he started and cleared his throat. “I have to go.”

“Spencer!” I exclaimed. “Did you not hear what I said?”

“I have to go,” Spencer repeated, pulling his bag over his shoulder. “We’ll… We’ll talk later.” After a moment of obvious hesitation, he kissed my hair, and he left as quickly as I had arrived. Tears welled up in my eyes and a hot anger rushed to my neck, and I sat down heavily in the same chair that Spencer had abandoned. I wasn’t sure how Spencer would react to that, but leaving me with no explanation wasn’t one of the options that I had anticipated. My heart beat painfully slowly as my hands flexed and opened, trying to make sense of his reaction. I thought he would be happy. Did I have it all wrong? Had I missed some crucial part of him that should have keyed me into the fact that he didn’t want kids? 

I didn’t get to ponder for much longer, because Gideon turned the corner. I frantically wiped my face dry, but my runny nose remained, and Gideon approached me. I had always seen him as a sort of father figure, and the hug he gave me said all that he needed to. I cried into his shoulder, and I couldn’t help but mumble, “What did I do wrong?”

“Reid, I need you to go to Lila Archer’s and give her some protection,” Gideon said. “She’s not safe alone.”

“Why me?” Spencer asked. “Why not Morgan? He could do a better job at protecting her.”

“You’re closer to her age,” Gideon told him. “She’ll be more comfortable with you.” 

Spencer nodded and looked down at his hands. I sat next to him as I always did, but it was icy. I wanted to speak to him and ask him just what he thought he was doing, but I bit my tongue. Anger would hardly do anything to solve this. “Can, umm, can Y/N come with me?” Spencer asked. “She knows Lila on a quasi-personal level. It might help comfort her.”

“If she’s alright with it,” Gideon said, looking at me. 

I lowered my gaze to the table, tapping my pencil lightly against my folders. “Sure,” I said.

“Good,” Gideon said. “Don’t tact-gear up, and bring a single weapon.” A moment passed, and Gideon said, “Y/N, you--” 

Pregnant women weren’t permitted to carry weapons. I already knew what Gideon was asking of me. “Yeah,” I said and twisted around to undo the holster around my belt. My neck seized up and I grunted, and Spencer’s long fingers quickly helped me remove it. The room and the rest of the BAU were quiet as this exchange happened and, when my gun and holster hit the table, Hotch said, “Y/N? Gideon just said--”

“I know what Gideon said, Hotch,” I replied. “But there are… Circumstances.”

“Like?” Hotch asked. “Anything we should know or worry about?” 

I shrugged. “No,” I said. “I mean…” I looked at Spencer, who was very adamantly avoiding my gaze, and I cleared my throat. “No. Nothing.” 

“Uh-huh,” Morgan said smoothly. “How far along are you?” 

“Excuse me?” I snapped. 

“Irritability is one of the most common side effects of pregnancy,” Morgan said. “And you’re really clingy; a nesting instinct with the father. That’s an animal kingdom thing, I think.” 

I bit my tongue so harshly that I was afraid I would sever it in two. “Morgan,” I said sharply. “Shut. Up.” 

“Am I wrong?” Morgan asked innocently. “God, I’m sorry, I just assumed-- And you look like you’ve gained a little weight--”

“Derek!”

“Jesus Christ!”

“You don’t say that to a woman!” 

I felt the tears come back, and I cleared my throat. “Can we move on?” I asked Gideon. 

“No,” Spencer said suddenly. His jaw was set, his gaze hard on the table before us, and he finally looked at me. He had his usual dark purple bags around his eyes, but they were rimmed red and full of tears. Without another word, Spencer took my hand and pulled me from my seat, and he led me out of the small briefing room. 

“Spencer, let go,” I mumbled. “Your hand-- Spence!”

He only stopped once we were outside the building, safely nestled in the empty smoking spot. His hand remained in a death grip on my wrist, and I finally tugged my hand away. The skin was sore and I rubbed it as I asked, “What the fuck was that?” 

“My mom has schizophrenia,” Spencer said suddenly. “She’s been institutionalized since I was eighteen. That sort of thing is genetic, and I’ve been tested, but the test-- The doctor couldn’t give me a straight answer. I don’t want to have a baby if it means that I can pass that onto them, I can’t do that to someone else. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to walk away, but that scared me as bad as it scared you. I know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” 

I was quiet. Too many thoughts were racing through my head, and I absently rubbed my sore wrist. “Spence,” I whispered. “How did I not know that?”

“I’ve never told anybody before,” Spencer said. “It’s… Terrifying. I don’t want to think about it.” 

“And that’s why you…” I started and trailed off. 

“I didn’t know how to react,” Spencer said. “I needed time to think about it, and removing myself from the situation seemed to be the best option.”

“Not when this is the situation, my love,” I said softly. I reached out for him, but he sharply backed away from me. I respected that he didn’t want any contact, and I added, “I’m so sorry.”

“No!” Spencer cried. His hair fell from behind his ears as he suddenly jumped forward and captured my body in his arms, and he buried his face in my neck. “No, don’t you dare say that you’re sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about. If anything, I’m sorry for just leaving like that.” 

“Spence, please,” I whispered, my voice shaking. “Stop apologizing. I’m not mad anymore.” 

Spencer nodded slowly, and I moved us to a concrete bench to sit down. I held his hands in mine and soothed my thumb up and down his large hand, looking at him. He was a human, as much as I was and as much as the being inside of me was. “So, this is it, huh?” Spencer chuckled as he sniffled. “I’m gonna be a dad.” 

“Yes,” I said gently. “If you want to be. I understand if you don’t.”

“Are you kidding me?” Spencer asked. When he lifted his head, I saw his cheeks pink and his eyes wet, but he had a huge smile on his face. His hands came up to clutch my head and he kissed me, long and deep and lovingly. “Y/N, you are giving me something that I’ve dreamt of for so long. I can’t-- I don’t know how to express to you what this means to me.”

#mgg #matthew gray gubler #spencer reid #reid #criminal minds #raymond #southern gothic #paul #500 days of summer #chip #68 kill #lesley smith-judiment #hot air #american actor #fanfiction #mine

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Happy Gublerween everyone! Here are some Anon Answers for you. For everyone who sent me a message for this post, I’ll be responding to them tomorrow!

1. You’re wonderful! I actually don’t feel pressured to write, because I’m sitting on a collection of completed works that just need to be edited. I’m not worried about people thinking I should write more - I’m more annoyed by people who only read a small portion of my works or ignore my personal posts & then have the audacity to complain. Like, what’s up with that?

But anyway, I appreciate you 🥰

2. Eeee I love Raymond! I’ve been in a weird mood so I’ve been bouncing everywhere. Raymond is such a dork. I plan on writing a few fics for him.

3. 😂 I’m here to serve! I have a Lesley Juniment-Smith gifset coming tomorrow.

4. You are awesome! I love you! We’ve still got a bit of a ways to go before TB&TB, but it’ll be here eventually!

5. Aaaa good luck in quarantine. I still haven’t left my house, lol. Been really buckling down on Bar Prep stuff though. Oct 5-7th is almost here!

6. It’s hard to explain without going into detail, but Maeve essentially used Spencer because she was bored. She took advantage of him when he was extremely fragile and clearly showing psychosomatic symptoms of distress. She was very dismissive of his interests, and reacted very poorly to him correcting her (even when she was wrong). 

Overall, she cared very little about any of the people in her life. Her interests were always the paramount concern for her. She is shown cutting him off and talking over him at multiple points. On top of that, she made jokes about his trauma and turned them into a sexual thing, and she lied to him about her relationships.

Not a good look.

#answer #answered

[helpersofindie]

Hi helpers! Happy Holidays! What are some of your favorite face claims?

hi! happy holidays to you as well! i have quite the list so buckle up! some of my favorite faceclaims are isabella gomez, shay mitchell, nasim pedrad, justine biticon, avan jogia, maya rudolph, kimiko glenn, emily osment, medalion rahimi, adam scott, john krasinski, liz gillies, grace helbig, cecily strong, salem mitchell, lilan bowden, chris evans, amy poehler, jenny slate, chris pine, mindy kaling, rami malek, shamir, katie stevens, bill hader, christina perri, zoe kravitz, normani, rita volk, sabrina carpenter, andy samberg, michael b. jordan, diane guerrero, yara  shahidi, sofia carson, melissa fumero, camila mendes, zooey deschanel, kehlani, sharon belle, stephanie beatriz, candice patton, billie piper, victoria justice, cierra ramirez, rashida jones, beyonce knowles, zendaya, hunter schafer, seth meyers, jameela jamil, amandla stenberg, ariana grande, chelsea peretti, kristen bell, jessica chastain, ryan reynolds, jake johnson, josefine frida pettersen, froy gutierrez, aidy bryant, ariela barer, lana condor, jennie kim, dove cameron, tyler posey, kaitlyn alexander, keiynan lonsdale, diana silvers, nicole byer, lizzo, brie larson, manny jacinto, khalid, paul rudd, hailee steinfeld, ali wong, adelaide kane, john mulaney, bo burnham, troye sivan.

happy holidays !! there are far too many beautiful and wonderful fc’s out there but I will l try to keep my list brief: sebastian stan, chris evans, tyler hoechlin, margot robbie, brant daugherty, henry cavill, brett dalton, candice patton, michael trevino, d.j. cortrona, zane holtz, bob morley, max riemelt, lesley-ann brandt, phoebe tonkin, elizabeth olsen, mila kunis, taron egerton, adria arjona, charlie hunnam, megan fox, jason momoa, brie larson, ryan guzman, vanessa morgan, hunter parrish, avan jogia, jake gyllenhaal, im jinah, lindsey morgan, camila mendes, aly michalka, charles michael davis, chris pine, robbie amell, michael b jordan, virginia gardner, casey deidrick & greta onieogou.

hey there - happy holidays to you!! oh man, my favorite fc’s? here we goooo: maisie richardson-sellers, ben hardy, ariana grande, drew ray tanner, katie douglas, aubrey joseph, paris berelc, tyler posey, michael b jordan, rihanna (about to take her off this list if she doesn’t drop her album before the new year!!), chris evans, paulina singer, maia mitchell, john boyega, manny jacinto, chance perdomo, harry styles, medalion rahimi, olivia holt, tom holland, keiynan lonsdale, candice patton, kristine froseth, brandon larracuente, diane guerrero, niall horan, justice smith, emilia clarke, sophie turner, jason momoa, maisie williams, kit harington, richard madden, laura harrier, lindsey morgan, sabrina carpenter, chloe bennet, anthony mackie, chris hemsworth, sofia carson, alycia debnam-carey, jordan connor, & (of course!) ana de armas.

#about hoi #anonymous #diana #julia #alex

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 401

Oh hey, y’all. We’re back for another season of that show we keep watching in hopes it’ll get back to its season one glory Outlander! Since I’m incapable of keeping my Opinions to myself and have no filter after a few drinks, I’m gonna do drunk recaps that no one asked for or wants again this year. Because why not. So buckle up, randos, because under the cut you will find nothing of substance, zero insights and absolutely no analysis!

Before I dive into the stream of consciousness, quasi-incoherent beat-by-beat nonsense, I just want to say that I overall liked this episode. I definitely enjoyed it more from the comfort of my own couch than in the theater with thousands of screaming sycophants at NYCC. It definitely had me singing along to the Federalist Papers part of Non Stop all day though. A series of scenes, tangentially related, introducing the Colonies to the public. Some are obviously just there to just set up the plot of the season or like check a residual box from last season. But some are solid world-building and character moments. And, because it’s Outlander, some are like *side eye*.

But I’m for real excited for the first half of this season! The second half of Drums is a dumpster fire (fucking Rogergate...) and it seems like the show is going to stick pretty close to the book, so I’m going to try my hardest to not let preemptive feelings about that nonsense cloud potential enjoyment of the first bit. Because dammit, I love me some domestic!Frasers. So yeah, happy end of hiatus, y’all!

Ok I don’t want to start off on a downer note, but jfc. I get what they were going for with the 2000 B.C. stone circle stuff, but omg no. I don’t care if certain indigenous peoples really did make stone circles and dance around them as the sun rose. I know they’re trying to show the universality of circles and these time portal thingies or whatever, but by making the parallel with the druids at Craigh na Dun, it’s basically being like “Oh hey! These Native American folks from *checks notes* North America are just like the white folks we’ve been hanging with for the last three seasons!” It came off to me like erasing the unique cultures of the diverse peoples of North America in favor of framing them as a generic group of “natives” who do the white people stone dance. And in a season that’s going to deal heavily with multiple tribes, this really isn’t giving me much confidence in how they’re going to handle the rest of the Native American characters.

I’m really hoping someone else will articulate that better than I did. Because I feel like I’m not communicating well what my actual issue with the sequence was.

Petition to make Jamie wear a hat at all times to hide his horrible bangs.

Gavin Hayes has to be being hanged for literally the dumbest crime ever. But he seems pretty chill about it so...

Ok I never liked book!Bonnet as a character (like obvi he’s a terrible person so I was never going to like him as a person, but I was always annoyed that he was still around rather than appreciating him as a villain), but even from that presumptuous “yeah can I snag some rum too, bruh” in the jail, I’m like solidly on board with show!Bonnet.

Jamie tried to save Hayes, but you see Hayes straight up killed a guy. Sure it was in self-defense, but, y’know, ye olde times and he did kill the dude. Sooo...

I want to feel for Lesley, I really do, but I’ve never actually given a shit or been given a good reason to give a shit about Rupert and Angus 3.0 so, sorry for your loss?

Unpopular opinion alert (should be the standard disclaimer on all of my #hottakes) but I really don’t care for the new theme music. Every time they change it, I find myself wanting the OG season one music back with just the images updated.

The bald eagle for the title card just gives me such mixed feelings that have nothing to do with the show. Like here’s a symbol of my country and it *should* invoke good feelings, but *gestures at the current political climate* every national symbol at the moment feels tainted by the growing white nationalist movement that’s being spurred on by the current administration.

Time for some post hanging brewskis. We are here to mourn Gavin Hayes. Who died only so the new villain could be introduced. Let us bow our heads.

Marsali and Fergus win the prize for least subtle “can we be excused to go bang” ever. Rock on, Fersali.

I fucking LOVE that they changed the tavern scene so everyone sings with them like they know what’s going on rather than how in the book it was like them making fun of the red coats as part of Gavin’s song and then Fergus passed around a hat for coins. But by having everyone in the tavern in on what’s going down and earnestly participating, it establishes that 20+ years after the failed Rising, after the Clearances, after everything the Scots went through at the hands of the English, they were not truly defeated. They may have moved across an ocean, but they are still Scottish and they still practice their traditions and dammit I’m having feelings about those resilient motherfuckers.

The scene with Jamie and Ian is very well done and I’m SO glad they included it because they did in fact include his rape last year, but fuck the show for including that rape in the first place. A very similar version of this scene could have been done without the rape, there’s enough trauma involved in being kidnapped, taken across the ocean, held hostage by a batshit lady and knowing that everyone else she kidnapped ended up dead for one 16 year old kid. With Jamie’s rape we got two episodes of trauma and four of recovery. With Mary, Fergus and Ian, we get three child rapes that could have all been avoided (especially Ian’s, but the plot points that come from Mary’s and Fergus’ could have definitely come about without them actually being raped), and they all just got one brief scene to express their trauma and then everything’s hunky dory again. (We know they’re going to include Bree’s rape, also fuck them very much for that, it’s completely unnecessary, and I’m guessing we’ll spend some time with her on her recovery. But that’s a rant for when we get there...)

For real though, Jamie parroting Claire as he comforts Ian is super sweet, but it makes me skeptically nervous for how he’ll react to Bree’s. Since in the book, it’s...not great.

Stephen Bonnet is so delightfully smarmy. Also, how fucking naive is our main squad now all of a sudden that they don’t realize from the jump what a sociopath he is? C’mon, y’all. Like I know Jamie came close to being hanged or whatever, but literally everything about this dude screams that he’s bad news. He is not subtle in his I’m a straight up unapologetic and charismatic good guy criminal. And like, he’s a friend of Gavin? Come the fuck on, squad. HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THAT HE IS FULL OF SHIT. *gets Det. JJ Bittenbinder on the horn*

For real though, dodgy accent aside, I fucking love Ed Speleers in this role. Why the fuck do they have to include the rape. Can’t he just be a bastard without being a rapist? Why must you make me rage, show. I just want to enjoy a decent villain.

Jamie and Claire are doing their best Jean Ralphio and Mona Lisa Saperstein trying to talk their way through this checkpoint.

“You’ve never parted with the ring from the first?” Yeah, I don’t get it either, Bonnet my dude. I don’t get it either. #FuckFrank

Bonnet talking about circles fascinating him makes me think he’d do well in a group of stoners having what they think are philosophical conversations at 3:00 a.m. “But like guys, have you ever like thought about...the rhombus?”

For real though, him being real with Claire about this drowning stuff makes him an infinitely more interesting villain than Black Jack ever was. Black Jack was kind of a crap villain tbh. He was horrible and did horrible things, yes, but like that was it. He was just horrible. Bonnet’s like oh I’ll charm you, be real with you and then fuck you up in the course of one episode and not give any of it a second thought because I have not a single fuck to give about anyone but me. I’m just out here living my best life, sorry not sorry. *puts on shades, drops mic, walks away*

For real though, his “be wary of thieves and outlaws” line might as well have been “it’s me, I’m talking about me.” And these dorks don’t even pick up on it. GUYS YOU ARE KILLING ME, YOU DIDN’T USED TO BE THIS SHITTY AT JUDGING SOMEONE’S CHARACTER.

I’m guessing this is the official christening-their-new-continent-bang because it’s too cold to do River Sex™ in Scotland. But I’m looking forward to getting the rest of Ch. 16 once they get to the Ridge. (We all saw those strawberries in the promo...)

The book lines still feel shoehorned in rather than organic to the show, but not as much as 95% of A. Malcolm felt. So I guess I need to just accept that the writers are going to keep doing this and I just need to stop expecting them to actually do their jobs and adapt for the adaptation...

For real though, I know Spotify doesn’t exist yet but jfc Jamie and Claire’s secksi time playlist literally just has this one song and guys, there’s a whole world of songs for smushing out there. My man Doug Judy would be glad to broaden your horizons.

Claire’s I just had sex smile as she looks out over the valley made me literalol.

Cool that we get woke!Jamie saying that the American Dream is a nightmare for the Native Americans after Claire’s Americana 101 speech, but this is a woman who lived in wicked racist 1960s Boston. She knows that things aren’t nice and rosy in America in the 18th *or* 20th centuries. Her speech makes me hate S3 a little more for focusing on Frank’s manpain instead of Claire and her and Joe’s time in the hospital, where the show could have explored gender and race in the 20th century to set up a contrast for how things will be this season in the 18th. Claire went through enough shit last time she was in the past, and so far this time, to know that the past isn’t idyllic. She knows enough about US history and 20th century America to know this mythical origin story she’s spouting is nothing but a fairy tale. I get why she might cling to that ideal, this is the first time in her life she might get to settle down and build a home with the person she actually wants to build a home with, but her whitewashing history like this strikes me as a way too naive for her.

The green screen as they stare out at that very much not actually there valley is killinggg me.

Ok for real though, this cut from them in the Uncanny Valley to the room getting ready for dinner is the most jarring of the episode. Like, I’ve come to terms with the fact that this is just a series of independent scenes rather than an actual, cohesive whole, but jfc. Who actually is Lillington, how do you know him? Nope? No info? Not important? Just need to get it out there that you have jewels so the last scene in the episode can happen so the ring can be taken so the rape can occur? Cool. Cool cool cool.

Ok so show!Claire makes me sad with being insecure/self-depreciating about her appearance. Like with saying brown is a dull color when Jamie calls her mo nighean donn the first time and when she asks Joe if she’s sexually attractive and when she dyes her hair before going back through the stones and now with the mutton dressed as lamb thing. (Claire, girl, how are you that up on Colonial fashion that you know what’s “age appropriate” already? Wouldn’t think there was much fashion gossip along the road from Georgia to North Carolina, but whatevs.) I know three of these four things are straight from the book, but in the show it hits me differently. Book!Claire is kind of a bitch when it comes to looks. Her parting words in her letter to Bree were “try not to get fat.” She like judged the crap out of that rando lady in Edinburgh before she went to the print shop just to make sure she didn’t look too old. So when she has these aforementioned moments, they land differently. Now I’m not saying I want show!Claire to be like book!Claire, quite the opposite. I’m glad they cut that other stuff. But now whenever show!Claire has a moment of self-consciousness, all I want to do is be like woman, you are a fucking smokeshow. Fuck the patriarchy for making you feel like you aren’t stunning exactly as you are. #LadyBonerForBeauchamp

Oh Governor Exposition. How nice of you to join our merry band of randos for dinner!

Man, I’d love to be so rich that I can pull a Baron and casually just happen to have 100 pounds on hand to buy a giant ruby at a random dinner party.

John Grey, who was shunted from shit post to shit post, totes is special enough to get Scotland’s Valjean to England’s Javert cleared. I mean, obvi.

Oh hey, Jamie remembers he has a daughter! Showed more emotion in that scene about how America would become her country than in the scene with the photos. Fuck Sam et al. for the disaster of a performance choice in ep. 306, don’t @ me.

OH HAI ROLLO I LOVE YOU YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD DOGGO I WANT TO SNUGGLE YOU WHO’S A GOOD BOY YOU ARE

“I dinna ken. But she’ll be saying it in Scotland, won’t she?” I do love Young Ian a lot. I know that’s in the book. But dammit I love John Bell in this part a crapton.

Casually lol’ing that they crossed the ocean because Ian was taken and now that they have him, they’re just going to send him alone off to sea again.

The first time I saw the episode, when Lesley gave his “my place is at your side” speech I was like crap, we’re going to be stuck with this guy aren’t we. BUT WE’RE NOT! (I am a terrible person.)

Fergus and Marsali are totes going to be the new Jenny and Ian, aren’t they? The characters who just show up once or twice a season when the core squad needs something and that’s it? Because they get tossed aside in the books like that. That makes me super sad (and I hope I’m wrong) because of how they changed show!Fergus and show!Claire’s relationship from the book that we won’t get to see more of them together. Le sigh. I hope they at least let Bree have a scene where she meets Fergus and learns she has a brother. Especially if she’s not going to go to Lallybroch to meet the Murray squad because Jenny isn’t in this season. Part of what I loved about the Lallybroch part in the book was Bree realizing that she wasn’t just gaining a father but a whole extended family. I hope they kind of transfer that over to her meeting Fergus and Young Ian in the place of [insert Murray kids who let’s be honest we really don’t care about here].

Hey remember that time Jamie was wicked opposed to Fergus and Marsali getting married for literally no reason? That was fun. But yay for Germain!

Holy motherfucking green screen, Batman. Please can we get to the woods soon? Or some other location where it’s not this fucking jarring?

Claire America-is-the-land-of-milk-and-honey Fraser suddenly is overly-on-the-nose indignant about slavery. Cool. Cool cool cool. Again, you know what would have been cool? Seeing her with her best and only friend in the 1960s more last season because he was a Black man. If they had let Joe be a fully formed character, navigating racist af Boston as a doctor, rather than just being Claire’s sounding board and martini maker, we could have seen how Claire being exposed to his reality shaped her views on race in America. But nope, that would have taken air time away from Frank’s manpain. (Seriously, my recent re-watch only highlighted just how much they screwed over Claire’s character last season.)

I’ve always loved that Jamie gives Claire the medical box. It’s just such a simple way to demonstrate that he *gets* Claire. (*side-eyes a certain other husband who patently did not*)

Jamie’s bangs are an affront to anyone with hair. Someone please give that man his hat back!

“This ring is all I need.” Aaand that’s when we all knew that Jamie’s ring would be the one stolen.

“Not for a single day.” Uh, *casually points at the episode in season three when she retcons her entire life in Boston to be not as bad as it was because Jamie’s been such an asshat to her*.

Ok. Holy shit this final scene. I love everything about this final scene. Except the song. This show is not subtle. It’s never been subtle. But holy shit, playing the iconic Ray Charles version of America the Beautiful at the end of an episode called America the Beautiful to be like welcome to ‘Murrica, fuckos, is like even less subtle than they usually go. I 1000% LOVE the choice to cut the audio from the end of the fight scene and just have the visuals, it just would have worked much better if they’d scored with with a regular instrumental piece.

Gah, Bonnet is such a smarmy motherfucker! The nose wipe before he coldcocks Jamie is just perf.

Claire’s face in this entire scene, holy fucking shit. *throws all the awards at Balfe*

And then Lesley dies and I’m a terrible person because I’m happy we don’t need to be stuck with him all season. But holy shit Bonnet when he pauses right before he cuts his throat and then kills him, I love show!Bonnet so much more than I ever gave a shit about book!Bonnet.

And honestly, Claire’s face when he’s killed right in front of her. *throws more awards at Balfe*

GUYS I FEEL MORE EMOTION ABOUT CLAIRE TAKING OFF JAMIE’S RING THAN I DID ABOUT CLAIRE LEAVING BREE BEHIND TO GO BACK THROUGH THE STONES HOW IS BALFE SO GOOD AT MAKING ME FEEL FEELINGS

I’m so fucking glad they changed which ring gets taken. There was an interview where they were like “oh we did it because it has to be visually distinct so Bree can get raped!” and I’m like a) fuck you for including that and b) right decision, wrong reason. This is the right reason for the change.

But even as I say that they made the right call in which ring to have stolen, it’s still a fact that they fucking chose to have one stolen at all. The writers and production team decided that Brianna needed to be raped so a ring must be stolen. Because Diana never wrote a character she didn’t want raped and the Outlander producers never read a rape scene they didn’t want to include. Fuck them all very much for that.

Fuck Them Very Much for That, the title of my memoir.

Oh god her face right at the end when she sees that it’s fucking Fred’s ring she’s left with and not Jamie’s fucking murders me.

*THROWS AN ENTIRE TROPHY STORE AT BALFE*

#* #drunj!der yells about outlander #outlander starz #outlander 4x01

[thespoonplayer]

(DJ) Spoon’s Review of 2018

This year I haven’t listened to much music at all, at least not in comparison to previous years and I certainly haven’t been to many gigs. I’m sure this won’t last but this year I’ve been busier at work so less likely to plug in, I’ve stuck to the radio in the car just to keep up with how messy Brexit really is (ooer a bit of politics) and my runs have been 100% fueled by podcasts so music has just taken a backseat. However, I couldn’t let the year go past without some kind of list...so here is a pot pourri of my favourite discoveries of 2018.

1. Podcasts

Seeing as these have been so important this year I’ll start here...and cheat slightly by bigging up some oldies, but good enough to bang on about again.

Old favourites : Running Commentary (Comedians Paul Tonkinson and Rob Deering take you on their runs and chat sometimes about running, but always about life, kids, comedy and anything that pops into their heads), Adam Buxton (always entertaining ramble chat from Dr Buckles whoever is on, I’ve learnt stuff and I’ve laughed a lot), My Dad Wrote a Porno (Sheer filth as ever but genuinely caused me to LOL during my runs, wondering if people can hear that I’m listening to chat about vaginal lids).

New entries : Off Menu (Ed Gamble and James Acaster opened their genie run fantasy restaurant a month ago and it has quickly become one of my favourite podcasts ever. Eclectic guests pick their fantasy 3 course meals, simple premise and it works. The Scroobius Pip episode was a perfect clash of two excellent pods), Blank (another late entry into 2018 from Jim Daly and Giles Paley-Phillips ostensibly about blank moments in life but just rammed with infotaining chat from ‘non standard’ guests including a jaw dropping episode with Michael Rosen and fun with Gary Lineker and Susie Dent), Poddin’ on the Ritz (sadly now finished with maybe its only series) this pod recorded backstage at Young Frankenstein by Hadley Fraser and the sublime Ross Noble made me laugh more than any other in 2018, it might be about musicals but their search for Kenneth Branagh’s snowglobes and Lesley Joseph adoration was a joy.

2. Board games

They say a family that plays together, stays together. Well we are together more than you can imagine. We’ve played over 220 games this year! Here are our favourite new games into our collection:

The game of the year is Azul, a seemingly simple tile grab and place game, building up a mosaic prettier than anyone else, is full of strategy and a little (but not too much) shafting of others. If you really want to shaft your fellow players though then pick up Unstable Unicorns, a card game where you aim to grow your stable of unicorns, whilst stopping others filling theirs. SO many different cards, tactics and ways to mess it up, you will swear at some point. Discovered in the excellent new board game cafe The Dice Box in Leamington, we bought Meeple Circus before we left, it’s that much fun. Rehearse and perform the best tiny wooden meeple circus performance, accompanied by a bespoke playlist. Stack the acrobats, balance the lions and raise the bar. Another board game cafe, Chance & Counters in Bristol introduced us to the frantic game of Klask, a cross between air hockey, pool and table football. Slide the magnets around to flick a ball into your opponents hole, avoid the magnetic biscuits and don’t KLASK! When is a game not a game? another game of the year has been played a lot in our house, and it’s The Mind. 100 cards numbered 1-100, no words between players and a tense task to lay cards in ascending order. Simple? yes? possible? nope! but it’s sure to cause fun and arguments. The final two of MY favourite sadly aren’t quite as loved by my family, but I’ll get them there. Sagrada is a similar game to Azul with you attempting to build a beautiful stained glass window with coloured dice. More variations and thinking needed than Azul which adds to the challenge. And finally and lovely chess like 2 player game which transports you to the sun dappled Greek island of Santorini. Take the powers of a god and build the traditional blue domed white houses of the island whilst trying to stop your opponent climbing onto a roof. A lot of ‘aha, you’ve stopped me’ moments.

3. TV

It’s been a long old year at work, and in the world of parenting so we’ve found ourselves flopped on the settee many evenings just soaking up great drama, comedy and chilling ;o)

We are very late to the party with Suits but that means we have 8 series to wade through! Really neat writing, bants and relationships between characters, a ‘don’t worry they will always win’ calmness about it and you get to see the Queen in her knickers...ish. Another Netflix treat this year was Magic for Humans with Justin Willman, a hugely likeable and funny magician pulling off tricks that constantly make me smirk with a huge dollop of WTF? amazing. A huge recommendation. A late entry to my TV highlights of 2018 is from the warped warped mind of Charlie Brooker...of course with Bandersnatch. An interactive choose your own adventure TV ‘event’ (I know) that had us hooked for the full 90 minutes (only if you want to see how much bloodshed you can invoke!). Completely on the other end of the spectrum was the sublime and minimalistic Mortimer and Whitehouse: Gone Fishing. I don’t like fishing and why would I find two old mates just teasing each other for half an hour entertaining? No idea but it was beautiful. Like Radio 4, comforting and perfect. Then a few suspenseful dramas that got us on the edge of the settee, Killing Eve (quirky AF), Bodyguard (did they really kill Keely Hawes that early?) and Informer (bleak bleak bleak) and sweaty bullocks in ‘should be in the next section really’ Bird Box (made Informer seem like a giggle fest).

4. Films

Really haven’t been to the cinema much in the last 12 months and only once to see a ‘grown up’ film I think but kid’s films are SO good at the moment that’s ok. A few stand out films for me were:

Ralph Breaks the Internet, much better than the first one, lots of #lolz internet jokes and more than a little heart. Wrap me up in a duvet and give me a hot cocoa and Paddington 2 any day, tears at the end. A little more sighing but just as much emotion in Christopher Robin, not sure why Eeyore had an American accent but the characters were spot on and nicely faithful to the original concepts. The one time I did venture out for an adult (it’s a 12 so almost ;o) and saw Ready Player One I was delighted, yeah it might not be a) as good as or b) anything like the book but a visual treat and an enjoyable romp.

5. Books

I read A LOT, until my Kindle donks me on the head in bed anyway...literally a tiny selection of books that have kept me awake. 

The Secret Lives of Colour - Kassia St Clair. They say never judge a book by its cover. Well that didn’t work...I bought this purely because it is a beautiful package, the hardback a lot more pleasing imho. Simply 2 coloured pages about how each colour was discovered, invented and introduced throughout history. I never really gave it a thought that colours were...made. Weird and fascinating.

This Is Going to Hurt - Adam Kay. A hilarious ‘secret’ diary of a junior doctor that horrifies at the same time. I think we all knew it was a hard life but bloody hell, if you didn’t love the NHS before you will after this. A thoroughly enjoyable and insightful story of Adam’s journey through medicine. And that ending...wooof.

Moose Allain - I Wonder What I’m Thinking About. I love Moose, I love his colour-me-advent calendars, I love his tweet threads that show the best in Twitter, I love his cartoons and this book is all of those wrapped up in one. And a certain Mr Spoon is to thank for the publication, find me in the back of Unbound funders! An inspiring book for anyone who loves art, creativity and childish humour.

Factfulness : Ten Reasons We’re Wrong About the World - Hans Rosling. A brilliantly clever and educational book about why the world is NOT as shit as it might seem some times. It’s all backed up by real data and lovely lovely graphs!

Lee Child and Ian Rankin. A highlight of the year is the next Reacher and Rebus novels and these two didn’t disappoint. Rebus’ latest adventure Past Tense, is a self-contained story that could introduce anyone to the man machine that is Jack Reacher. Rebus however is back, retired but won’t lie down, in In A House of Lies, an old case comes back to haunt him and will this finally be his downfall? I doubt it!

6. Music

As mentioned, I haven’t ‘been into music’ as much in 2018 for various reasons but I’ve still enjoyed some great new discoveries:

Barns Courtney - The Attractions of Youth, discovered via the use of Glitter and Gold for the theme tune of Netflix’s Safe. An album of ‘cheesy, commercially viable blues and folk rock’ apparently. I just liked the visceral nature of some of the tracks and it always fired me up at work on slow days.

Isaac Gracie - Isaac Gracie, a rare listened to recommendation from my wife. Isaac is everything I claim to like, fragile thin sensitive boys with acoustic guitars....and I do very much with this. Painful screeched out tales of heartbreak. Sublime.

R.E.M. - Live at the BBC, 104 rare and live tracks from arguably one of the best bands ever. Some of the tracks I haven’t heard since my bootleg cassette buying days at Sheffield Uni, when the world was in black and white. Not all tracks are of the greatest audio quality but bliss for a fanboy like me.

Creep Show - Mr Dynamite, a spin off project for Mr John Grant and even from the eclectic crooner this is an odd one. Glitchy electronica with vocoders all over the place. Weird and very Marmite.

Public Service Broadcasting - Every Valley and everything else. The latest offering from the other PSB was a trip through the miner’s crisis and Thatcher years. Bleak? yup but fascinating snippets of well, public service broadcasting and guest stars including the obligatory Welsh rockers the Manics. This album is perfect by itself but it ‘forced’ me to go back and really discover all the PSB albums. The Live at Brixton release is a huge recommendation, I wish I was there.

Rex Orange County - Apricot Princess, maybe I just added this in to seem cool as Rex, aka Alexander O’Conner, was ‘one to watch in 2018′ from the BBC. A multi-instrumentalist that dabbles with hippity hop, R&B and piano pop. The first track alone contains about three musical styles if you wait. 

7. Food & Drink

I run, because I really like food. And thankfully I’ve run a lot in 2018 so I got to enjoy a lot.

I was introduced to the weird fermented tea monstrosity that is kombucha by my sister-in-law. Vinegar tasting drink that may or may not help your gut that grows in your living room. WTAF? However, health benefits aside the LA Brewery Strawberry and Black Pepper drink is something, alongside my pilgrimage to Leon, worth going to London for. I’ve heard it’s also for sale in Solihull but I don’t often travel that far beyond my class ;o) I’d say, try it...but I suspect 9/10 people with hate the flavour. 

I suspect 10/10 people that try the Aldi Black Forest Mince Pies would love them, but you won’t get a chance as I’ve bought them ALL. Aldi are a bugger for getting you hooked then never restocking. I only managed 10 boxes in 2018 and we’ve rationed well so have 12 left to get us through the bleak January weather. Cherries, Dark Chocolate, Chocolate pastry and a smidge of mincemeat. Perfect!

There are many ingredient delivery services available and I’ve only tried Gousto but I don’t know why you’d go anywhere else. 33 recipes tried and 32 of them I’d have again, with the one not so good one was still far better than anything I’d cook by myself. So easy, so tasty and if you want to try it I can give you a big discount that will help us buy another box, a tad expensive without a discount but worth a treat every so often.

Genuinely I traveled to London just to visit Max’s Sandwich Shop...kinda. It was certainly the deciding factor in a day out at the Summer Exhibition (see below). I downloaded the Kindle version of this book when it was promoted in an email, I bought some Scampi Fries and made a Fish Finger sandwich, I crumbled up some Ginger Nuts into a Mascarpone and Jam sandwich and I made a Fried Egg, Shoestring Fried and Gammon sandwich then I NEEDED to go and see how it’s really done. Amazing over the top sandwiches in a rough little hipster cafe in Stroud Green (no me neither and it’s a long walk from the tube!). So good I had to a) buy the hard copy of the book and b) carry half the sandwich home as even I couldn’t manage it all...not with deep fried macaroni balls filling me up ;o)

8. Places

A family that plays together, stays together as a great man once said. And we don’t just play inside, we love adventures so adventures we had.

I’d never been to the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition, as it’s in that there London which often seems hundreds of miles away...but I’m so glad that I visited this year. A trip with a good friend with neither of us knowing quite what to expect. We saw, and laughed, and marveled at, paintings, sculptures, videos, photos, models, and weirdness by Banksy next to Joe Lycett next to Grayson Perry next to Harry Hill, next to me mate Lorsen Camps from Coventry. The SA allows ANYONE to submit artwork for consideration and anyone can be accepted. I think this has to become a yearly visit, awesome.

My parents have been wanting to take our kids, and their big kid, to The Forbidden Corner in North Yorkshire for a few years now...and I’m so happy we finally got round to going. Started as a folly to entertain his children this huge labyrinthine site is crammed with strange sculptures, mazes, tricks and squirting fountains. Many hours were spent squeezing through holes, getting lost and getting wet. Beautifully eccentric.

A family holiday to Brittany meant we could visit the loopy city (it’s their phrase!) of Nantes and more importantly Les Machines d’Ile. Ostensibly the workshop of  a group of engineers and artists that make huge animatronic machines and animals...that you can ride on! Needs to be seen to be believed, the Elephant brings out the big kid in everyone...and we can’t wait to go back in a few years when they’ve built a huge forest over the river with ride on caterpillars and dragonfly. Incredible. The city itself is dotted with crazy art and interactive pieces encouraging play, I know a city closer to home that should be the UK Loopy City of Culture!

Luckily Tilly is a Harry Potter obsessive AND it was her birthday last year so it gave us the excuse we didn’t need to visit the Warner Brothers Harry Potter Studio Tour. Wow, just wow. The incredible detail in everything made for the film, the engineering, the amount of artists involved and the presentation of the exhibition blew us away. I’ve enjoyed everything in this list but this maybe was the most magical in the best way.

Many many amazing experiences warrant a mention, but I just don’t have enough words, include Talking Birds - Walk with Me, Print Manufactory Darkroom Workshop, Ludic Rooms Random String Festival, Go Karting with Tilly, some dancing balloons in Broadgate, Godiva Festival with Tony Christie et al, Bristol Gromit trail, Disc Golfing with my girls, Edinburgh Fringe with Dick and Dom and with another wonderful dick from Coventry starring in Bon Jovi musical We’ve Got Each Other, Pandas! at Edinburgh Zoo, Matilda the Musical with Tilly at last, running the Coventry Mile with the girls’ school, Dippy the Dinosaur in Brum, Wicksteed Park (amazing family fun theme park like what they used to be), Cycling on Stratford Greenway in the sun, Autotesting at MotoFest, Bourton-on-the-Water (it’s just a shame 3 million other people know about this gorgeous village), Giant Pac Man in the city centre, Pork Pie making with a good friend, CET several times, Novelty Automation in London and being on The One Show, a couple of Hope & Social gigs and much much much more fun with my wonderful fam and friends. Roll on 2019!