2:39 PM EDT April 20, 2024:
Richard Cheese - "The Choice Is Yours"
From the album Licensed To Spill
(October 17, 2017)
Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm
File under:
Music from Artists Conceivably Possessed by Genius
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Try to rationalize, people are people, But it’s like you’re made of angel dust.
Olivia Rodrigo
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something something in the parallels between olivias first single and her latest
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The Cunning Language
Lips on lips of softest sweetness
all day of every day the red painted face,
dainty strawberry curves,
speak to me in untravelled tongues;
desire on fire for pale lips to touch
and a tongue to speak of flicking
the switch; but I don’t speak
the cunning language.
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not my usual fare but i was writing stuff and looking up random things on wikipedia as one does and i stumbled upon lisi harrison’s wiki page and ..i just never fully appreciated the wit of her titles as a child like something about novel titles (and episode titles) that riff off existing media just scratches a particular itch in my brain and it makes me happy idk lol
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7:26 PM EDT April 1, 2024:
Richard Cheese - "Look What You Made Me Do"
From the album Licensed To Spill
(October 17, 2017)
Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm
File under: Mark Jonathan Davis
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its a new year
and i think im going to cut all my hair off. and i think im going to stop biting my nails. and i think im going to spin in circles for a while before i find my footing. before i settle into my skin again. before this place starts to feel less like home and more like childhood reincarnate. and im going to run away again. just for a day or two. and im going to have to face the winter head on this time round. im going to have to try harder to get out of bed. im going to lay on my back in the cold grass and count as many stars as i can. im going to count the blades of grass under my fingers. im going to dig my fingers into the earth. im going to pull up god from her slumber. i have all the time in the world to change. i have a whole year. i have only hours to get through each day. im going to make it. im going to talk to god more. and by god i mean the moon. and by god i mean the geese on the lake. and by god i mean my ceiling and my desk lamp and the paracetamol i keep in my desk as a precaution. as an escape route. an escape route im going to try really hard not to need this year. im going to find my hands again. put them on the right way round. stitch up my wrists for good. and when god comes knocking i can hold her hand with my own. someone else’s skin will not hurt me. god will compliment my shaved hair. and my ability to raise the dead. and i think this year im going to raise myself from the dead.
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By far one of the saddest and most aggravating weeks I have had being at this damn hospital. The fact these people had audacity to ask repeated questions about my health and condition and I explain to them countless times what they are trying to make happen won’t work because I’m unable to walk around and then they get to have me have a seizure to run a brain wave test for testing purposes and succeed just for the end of the week tell me that I have to have my DL suspended for 6 months by the Dept of Health is mind boggling. Had I known the outcome of me being here to better myself and be proactive about my health and research and test purposes on my brain to just receive that news is so contradictory and fucked up. They literally said at the beginning of the week the goal was to have me have a seizure and all and I did it unlike my last week stay with these damn people. Just for me to get my driving privileges and all taken away. This really is just an eye opener to never ever go to the doctors or hospital unless you desperately need it. Cause they give absolutely no fucks about your wellbeing and life outside of the walls. My life for the next 6 months is changing drastically starting tomorrow. No life to feeling dead. My parents even said for the next 6 months I shouldn’t go back to work and focus on myself and elevate myself, cause they feel bad for me as well. I’m angry and sad with myself for choosing to do this damn visit. The week started rocky at first cause I was feeling extremely stressed out and nauseous the first night but it was good too with being able to do what needed to be done and making progress for it all to just go to shit in my eyes. Having people that aren’t even doctors or even my own doctor tell me it’s in their best interest to suspend my license and I no longer drive for 6 fucking months. I almost slapped a bitch and I was hella chill with them all too just for them to do me dirty at the end of my last couple of days here. My own personal doctor didn’t once fucking see me either on top of that…well now my doctor is going to sign me for disability medical leave. Soooo fuck the bs and it’s time to start some goals up and fulfill them. I got 6 months ahead of me to make the most of it. ✌🏻
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