#Like I'm having a heart attack | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 3 months

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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

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weaponizedducks · 1 month

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If bbc merlin wasn't gay then tell me why my middle aged, agressively heterosexual father that thought neil and todd were straight just turned to me and told me magic was an allegory for queerness. fucking riddle me that

#like actually HOW did the writers not realise what they were writing #i don't think i've ever been this shellshocked #he just said it outta nowhere and i fully froze in horror #he was like do you realise what magic is a metaphor for #meanwhile i'm having a heart attack #i fully said no and denied it was even gay #fighting for my fucking life #merlin #bbc merlin #merthur #blue rewatches merlin

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gazkamurocho · 3 months

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Kiryu and Majima's reunion in Infinite Wealth (He won't let go)

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uncanny-tranny · 7 months

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Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.

#disability #this is a callout post about myself #i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned #turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly #i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack #(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way)#(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle)#anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you...#...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition]#i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀#even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭#it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker #and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller #and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected...#...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)

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marlynnofmany · 18 days

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Squishy Cybernetics

“Hello!” I said. “Where would you like this?” I waved an arm at the large pallet of boxes, bags, and miscellaneous other packaging. It was on one of our biggest hoversleds, and accompanied by some of the biggest crewmates.

The Waterwill at the loading gate burbled thoughtfully, sounding like a water jug given sentience. She extended what passed for an arm of her own and pointed indoors. “You’d better bring it all the way in. Over here.” She glided inward, moving in that mysterious way I’d never figured out. Someone shaped like a column of jello had no business scooting forward that quickly, no matter how much their lower end rippled against the floor.

But I didn’t have time for galaxy-gazing; I had to help steer the hoversled. Regulations said we needed someone on all four sides for a load this big, just in case of antigrav mishaps. Didn’t want it slamming into something breakable at this client’s facility — or slamming into anything at all, really, but this place was some sort of high-tech manufacturing plant, and I didn’t want to think about what kind of damage a crash could do.

No mishaps today, though. The Frillian twins paced along on either side, all muscles and tight clothes (they’d left the flowy silks behind today; a solid choice). I couldn’t see Zhee in the back, but I heard the quiet click of his bug feet. My own feet were silent in proper Earth shoes as I tugged the steering handle and followed the Waterwill.

I thought we’d just take the thing to the far side of the big loading dock, unload it in an out-of-the-way spot to be unpacked later. But the Waterwill kept going. We passed hovercars and wheeled carts, storage cabinets and bins, along with a baffling arrangement of pipes along one wall. Windows showed glimpses of the busy manufacturing facility. I had no idea what they were making. Maybe I’d get a better look on the way back out.

Oh hey, a human, I thought in surprise as I passed a bigger window. With a Strongarm on his back? What in the world are they making together? I was already moving past, and could only speculate about intricate manufacturing projects that needed hands and tentacles at the same time.

I was still wondering why the Strongarm hadn’t just pulled up a chair next to the human when the Waterwill signalled me to stop. “Stopping,” I announced for Zhee’s benefit. We all came to a halt, and nobody crashed into anything. Hallelujah.

“Here, please,” the Waterwill said. She stretched her arm out into a long tendril to pick up a scrap of something blue that had fallen on the floor, and pointed at an empty space near several foam-topped tables. “I’m needed out front. Heeme, can you oversee?”

“Sure thing,” said a voice from nowhere, then a Strongarm climbed out from under one of the tables. “Found the last of the broken bits, by the way.” Two of his tentacles were curled around pieces of the same blue stuff the Waterwill had picked up. The blue stood out against the dark red of his skin, but not as much as the four mismatched tentacles on other side did. They were a transparent blue-green much like the Waterwill’s own tendrils. I tried not to stare, and failed.

“Thank you,” the Waterwill said. “I’ll be back in a bit.” She set her broken piece of whatever on the nearest table, then scooted through a door that was apparently soundproofed, because a cacophony of whirs and whooshes filled the air until it closed.

“Right,” I said. “Over here, then.” I steered the hoversled into position, then we all worked together to guide the detachable gravity platform onto the ground. That part always made me nervous, since it looked like the giant pallet that could crush me was floating through the air with just a touch of technological magic to make it go. I understand other models of industrial-sized hoversleds have more mechanical-looking gravity platforms, or regular forklift arms. Ours was the glowy magic kind, and it deposited the giant stack of objects with all the precision of the best fairytale enchantment.

“Perfect,” said the Strongarm. “We’ll unpack it from here. Thanks.”

“Our pleasure,” I said.

Zhee, finally able to see over the hoversled, got a good look at who I was talking to. “Oh, I’m sure you’re fast at unpacking,” he said, pointing with his pincher arm. “Does that model form into blades?”

“Sure does!” the Strongarm said, holding up a see-through tentacle that instantly flattened into a shape like a steak knife. “Good for packaging, stubborn latches, and all manner of other things.”

“And stabbing!” Blop put in, to be immediately shushed by his sister.

“No stabbing on the job,” she told him.

The Strongarm laughed. “Yeah, just respectable tool use. They don’t give these out to anyone who’s going to do violence with them.”

I asked, “Is that Waterwill tech? I haven’t seen one before.”

“Yup.” He turned the knife back into a tentacle, then into a variety of other shapes. “One of the perks of working here, for sure. They’re cagey about sharing tech. This is the best prosthesis I’ve ever encountered.”

I thought of the hard metal-and-plastic replacement limbs that were standard on Earth. They would be wildly out of place on this guy’s squishy octopus body. And no amount of interchangeable attachments would be able to beat this kind of easy shapeshifting. I said, “That looks really useful.”

“It is!”

The loud door opened to admit a wall of sound, along with the human-and-Strongarm pair. Which I realized with a start was actually just a human wearing more transparent tentacles on his back.

“Here’s the new set,” he said to the Strongarm, placing a clear box on the table that was full of a stack of more flat blue things. They appeared to be cut into very specific shapes. I might have been curious about what they were for if not for the much more interesting thing to be curious about.

“Hello,” I said. “Does everyone who works here get extra limbs?”

The tan human grinned. “If they want ‘em! And they pass the screening, of course. But you’ve got to leave them here each day if they’re the bonus kind, as opposed to replacements.”

The Strongarm wiggled his tentacles in a taunting manner. “I can open packages and slice food so easily at home.”

The human made a face and wiggled the tentacles on his back. “Yeah yeah, we’re all jealous. Someday I’ll convince the bosses that there’s an actual market for these, and I’ll be the first in line to buy my own.”

“They think there isn’t?” I asked in shock. “Those look so useful! I can’t list the number of times I’ve wished for more hands. Using teeth and feet only goes so far.”

Zhee made a disparaging hiss. “You have that many fingers, and still want more? Greedy.”

“I’m just saying that re-weaving a cargo net would go much faster if I could hold all of the fibers at once,” I told him, then turned to the Frillians. “Back me up. Two arms just isn’t enough sometimes, right?”

Blip and Blop looked at each other and shrugged. “I guess?” Blip said. “But that’s just when it’s time to get another person to help.”

Zhee clicked a pincher. “Exactly so. Or approach the problem differently.”

The human told me, “I’ve had this conversation more than once. Apparently not all species grow up imagining what it’s like to have bird wings or monkey tails or whatnot.”

“Surely other people want to fly,” I said. The expressions around me were dishearteningly blank. “Surely!”

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” the human said. “See why I couldn’t convince the bosses?”

“But even on a practicality standpoint!” I exclaimed. “They have you using them here; why wouldn’t they think you’d want to use them at home?”

He shrugged, moving the tentacles in a graceful wave as he did. “Alien brains. I’ve given up trying to fully understand.”

The Strongarm spoke up. “If there are actually a large number of humans who would buy these, then it couldn’t hurt to put together a request from outside sources. The bosses don’t listen to random employees who are probably biased, but they might take an interest in actual buyers.”

I shook my head slowly. “Our courier ship isn’t going to be that kind of buyer, especially not at the scale they’d probably need.”

“What about big human ships?” Blip asked. “We could suggest it to the next one we meet.”

“Or human colonies,” Blop said. “Or large groups at space stations.”

Zhee said, “I heard Captain Sunlight talking about a delivery to Basal Station soon. There are plenty of humans there. You could suggest it to them, if you think this is really that widespread an interest.”

“It couldn’t hurt,” I said, thinking. There was indeed a significant human population on that space station, which might even include the crew I’d met from the droid jousting ship Hold My Beer. They were definitely the type to appreciate some extra arms. Both for working on finicky electronics and general slapfight shenanigans.

“Here, we should have something with the contact information,” said the Strongarm. “Jon, is there a notepad over there?”

“Yeah, got it.” The human leaned over a table and used his tentacles to lift a stack of books so he could pull out the small notepad at the bottom. That may have been showing off. “Here you go!” He handed it to me with his regular hand.

“Thanks,” I said. “I’ll see if I can find the right ears to whisper into.”

“Best of luck!” he said. “My partner has asked me no less than half a dozen times if I could sneak my set home to play around with, but I’m not gonna risk the job.”

I laughed, hoping I wasn’t blushing. “Oh man, I wasn’t even going to mention the bedroom applications.”

Of course Zhee had to ask, tilting his head with faceted eyes shining. “The what?”

“Remember how most humans find tentacles a little creepy?” I asked him, pocketing the notepad.

“I recall. It makes this insistence all the stranger.”

“Well, some humans aren’t creeped out at all. Kind of the opposite. They like them a lot. In a, uh, private fashion.”

Jon the human spelled it out for him. “Mating rituals.”

Zhee’s antennae did a complicated dance, then settled in something that looked like disgust. “I was about to ask why, but I’ve decided I don’t want to know.”

“Yeah, best not to,” I agreed. “Anyway! Very useful extra arms. Good for a wide variety of activities. Other humans will likely be interested.”

“Very likely,” Jon agreed.

I activated the hovercart with a nod, and we said our goodbyes. The employees wished me luck. They returned to work while we headed back toward our ship.

Zhee grumbled disparaging things about my species the whole way, but that was nothing new.

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come! And I am currently drafting a sequel!

PS: the story with the good ship Hold My Beer is here, if you're wondering about that. It's fun.

#my writing #The Token Human #I probably should have thought up a prank-related story for today #given what day this getting posted #but it didn't occur to me and I already had this idea #plus that might feel like a repeat of 'What’s a Minor Heart Attack Between Friends?'#which I'm going to reblog next just for funsies #anyways the location for this story is partly based on my old workplace #though the noise is on the wrong side of the door #humans are weird #haso #hfy #eiad #humans are space orcs #humans are space bards #and other such tags #tentacles #prosthetics #in spaaace

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flamingskull28 · 7 months

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Pearl after seeing dedf1sh for 0.1 seconds

#splatoon #side order #agent 8 #pearl #splatoon meme #splatoon 3 #okay I finally no longer feel like I'm going to have a heart attack

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lab-gr0wn-lambs · 5 months

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The walking dead managed to get me so invested in hetero couples it's not even funny. I love these freaks.

#this epsiode gave me a fucking HEART ATTACK by the way #I'm so sure Rick is gonna die and then they did me like that. you fucking kidding me? TWICE. twice they've done that same bait and switch!#''show em getting literally eaten from the inside out then have it be something else. It'll be so funny. Ok do it again the next season''#speaking of being shockingly invested in straight people #gnashing my teeth for just a crumb of Caryl over here #what happened!! did I miss something? I thought they were together!#just a situationship I guess??#the walking dead #also I think this is the first time I've heard Rick actually laugh beyond a nose-exhale

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saltpepperbeard · 15 hours

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Stede is hotter than his man is.

Fight me

...COUNTERPOINT, ANON, WITH SOME EDITS HERE:

THEY'RE BOTH HOT SHDKLJS.

Or, to throw a Rhysie Gif in here for some additional pizzazz/point:

#Answered #Anons #Gentlebeard #Blackbonnet #Edward Teach #Stede Bonnet #OFMD #Edit #...SLIGHT fighting words indeed considering I'm an Ed/Taika Girlie (gn) and subsequently have a bias sdjklsds BUT #I cannot deny the fact that they're BOTH handsome/beautiful/hot/etc etc #And to put one over the other?#When they both have lovely characteristics that makes them both uniquely handsome??#FIGHT //ME// ANON SHDJKLS #now with BIASES in effect #i have more of a thing for ed/taika because i'm Bewitched by his eyes and salt pepper hair #but see i GET why the rhysie girlies (gn) have heart attacks every two seconds #LIKE #I UNDERSTAND HSJKLDHS

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berrydoodleoo · 4 months

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should you begin to lose heart, look to me

(rendered in Blender Cycles, click for higher resolution)

#ffxiv #haurchefant greystone #alphinaud leveilleur #tataru taru #my art #line is haurchefant's from the divine intervention quest when wol has the trial by combat for alphy and tataru #should you begin to lose heart #look to me in the stands #and I shall cheer so loud #you will wonder how you could ever have contrived to doubt yourself #i've been replaying the post HW quests #and i realized i really like the lighting in fortemps manor #the windows have a cool blue glow and the lamps are warm and yellowy #so i wanted to try recreating that in blender #and then i had the idea of a cuddle pile on the couch #which morphed into this #i'm picturing this as taking place directly after the scions take refuge in ishgard #they can't sleep so they stay up together talking about nothing and everything and end up dozing off #and then wol has a panic attack #i wanted to capture that sleepy feeling of freaking out as quietly as possible because someone is sleeping nearby #the hushed quiet of the snow and the sibilant whispering and haurchefant's steely-eyed intensity #i mean he loves the wol so much and believes in them so relentlessly #if you were having a breakdown because the new friends who you've just been getting used to and thinking of as family are all dead #and you feel like it's all your fault #and now you have these broken-hearted kids who are dependent on you for safety and purpose #not to mention the rest of the world #in that situation #haurchefant's affection would be overwhelming #devastating and unbearable in its sweetness #this started as a holiday thing which i guess it kind of still is depending on your holiday feelings so uh. here we go

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blacknovelist · 7 months

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(one piece wano arc spoilers)

So like @guardianlioness and I were talking about one piece and thematic stuff and generally losing our minds and we were talking especially about like

How Zoro and Sanji and Luffy are a Trio but also how Zoro and Sanji are explicitly also painted to be a duo to Luffy, right, like. They're the "Wings of the Pirate King". Together, they protect and look after the crew, but also their captain. They are, effectively, equals in what they do, "official" roles IN the crew itself aside. Zoro, with his high physical power as their physical defense and Sanji, with his high empathy and compassion as an emotional bulwark

And

Okay. Here's the thing. Here's the proverbial problem. Cause right now, as it stands, Oda's introduced an unbalance to the duo. We were specifically talking about how frustrating it kind of is that the imbalance exists.

Because Oda gave Zoro conqueror's haki. He and Luffy share this— but it leaves Sanji as an odd one out. Thematically, it makes no sense to end with this like... off kilter seesaw. Why would you build these two up to BE on even standing only to take that away from them? Don't get me wrong, Zoro having conqueror's haki is a delicious character choice that I think adds fascinating complexity to Zoro and his position in the crew. He's a powerhouse, he's exerting his will over reality, and he follows his Captain the future Pirate King without question. Haki. Love it. Brilliant. But it makes no sense in the overarching thematic line between him and Sanji in regards to Luffy.

Giving Sanji conqueror's naturally wouldn't fix the issue, because frankly that defeats the entire purpose OF the char building that's been established in whole cake island. Sanji rejected the line of noble, of royalty, of power. It makes no SENSE for sanji to have it, he's not someone looking TO conquer or overcome the way Zoro is, it doesn't FIT him. And saying the stuff with his raid suit and the Germa augmentation rearing its head is the balance point is nonsensical for the same reason. Sanji already rejected all of that power and what it means and reclaimed it in a new way. Explicitly, directly, he denounced these things, directly ASSOCIATES them with a loss of humanity and his very self, wants nothing more to DO with it. Not only does it not make sense, but going back on it would be a slap in the face to all the development Sanji's gone through up until now, even laying aside the fact that it doesn't parallel Luffy at all so the unbalance isn't really addressed in that case.

But you know. Conqueror's Haki isn't the only thing Luffy has to proverbially offer. Conqueror's Haki is the overt, the direct, the loud and forceful. There's a lot we don't understand, between the stuff we do. It bears down and exerts over reality, makes demands of it. It tells you to listen.

What do we know about The Voice Of All Things? Not a lot. We know it seems to enable one to hear not the words, but the intention, the truth of other living things and even in objects, especially those with will like the Poneglyphs. We know Roger had it, Zunesha has it, the Kozuki line seemed generally to have it. The Three Eyed tribe may be capable of awakening it in themselves. We don't know if it's purely something you're born with or not. We don't know what it means, if anything, except for this: to hear the voice is to listen to the world around you and understand its heart.

When Luffy enters Gear 5, the only one who can tell at first is Zunesha. Zunesha can hear his heartbeat, and conveys this through the Voice to Momonosuke.

The anime conveys it more clearly, but it's in the manga text, too. Immediately after Zunesha realizes this... Onigashima is shaking. No one quite knows yet what's going on, other than Kaido is here and the world around them is trembling. Those on the battlefield, they've got front row seats to witnessing the transformation, what comes next.

Zoro and Sanji have finished their fights. They're conked the fuck out post battle, like usual... or they should be. But here's the thing. Right after Zunesha calls for Joyboy, from a room distant to the fighting, offset from the war waging outside...

Sanji's part in the major battles is over by this point. If they wanted to emphasize a "the crew knows their captain" moment, why not showcase the other strawhats too? The ones not on ground zero? But it doesn't show anyone else. It focuses. on. him.

Sanji, who's a deeply compassionate and kind man. Sanji, who stopped and paid attention even to the biological relatives he couldn't stand when he could've walked free without a care. Sanji, with his skills in Observation, in already listening to and feeling out others' intentions...

Zoro having conqueror's haki doesn't make sense on its own. It unbalances the duality of the Wings of the Pirate King. But give Sanji the power to hear the Voice Of All Things or something damn well close... that's a pretty good parallel to each other and their roles to Luffy, don't you think?

#One Piece #Blackleg Sanji #Sanji One Piece #One Piece Theory #Sanji #OP Spoilers #Wano Spoilers #yall I'm about to lose my FUCKING MARBLES okay #i actually realized the voice works thematically BEFORE i found out the manga and anime back it up w those three panels #but for the purposes of a post it naturally makes more sense to lay it out like this #ANYWAY I'M PROBABLY WRONG BUT ALSO. THEMATICALLY THE TEXT IS THERE. IT MAKES SENSE. IT F I T S #and tbh if the imbalance doesn't get addressed I'm gonna be a little miffed WHEEZE #god. weve had this theory for 2 minutes and i feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack I'm vibrating about it okay #confession I'm not manga current so if there's more proof or else stuff against the theory. hell if i know lmao #Blacknovelist talks #.... forgor that. opps

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coquelicoq · 7 months

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yeah natori is 23 and since matoba is one year younger, he's 22 at the very start of the manga/anime :))) i think it was like around season 3 of natsume when i learned this and went ????????????? and had to go lie down for a while

unacceptable. midorikawa-sensei answer for your crimes. the thing that's killing me currently is i know i learned this information back when i read a bunch of fic after watching the show for the first time - which was less than a year ago - but apparently REPRESSED IT because it was sooo does not compute. and then had to learn it all over again just recently. my poor brain tried so hard to protect me from this knowledge but alas.

FREE THEM they're baby adults they should not have this kind of weight on their shoulders and have like. employees and shit!!! "oh look a dumbass teenager with a heart of gold. how about i protect him with my life" HOW ABOUT YOU WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF YOU MAN-SIZED CATERPILLAR!!! they need to be in their cocoon era not in their head-of-the-family life-and-death-decision-making era. when you're 22 you're legally obligated to make questionable life choices and it seems self-evident you should not have to be forming lifelong contracts with supernatural beings until after you've gotten some of that out of your system but WHAT DO I KNOW, i'm just a thirtysomething with over a decade on natori who still does the modern-day equivalent of unplugging my answering machine so people can't leave me cursed voicemails. i look back on my 23yo self and i want to cry from how much she was learning and how hard she was trying. i love her so much it breaks my heart. stop putting these young men into situations they need to be in situations but maybe ones less fraught with mortal consequences. maybe some situations more along the lines of figuring out the hard way not to buy dryclean-only shirts because who has time to go to the drycleaners? that's just one idea, i've got more of these. midorikawa-sensei are you listening??

#i just rewatched the arc where natori and natsume free takuma-san's shiki #and lost it at the part where natori is like takuma-san what am i gonna do with this kid? he's giving me daily heart attacks #and takuma just starts laughing like ahhh now it's your turn #now you know what it's like mr. former teenager not listening to your elders!!!!#natsume's book of friends #natsume yuujinchou #asks #not anon #natori shuuichi #f #matoba seiji #horrible exorcists #my mom was 22 when she had me and whenever i think about that i'm just like TWENTY-TWO? TWENTY-TWO???#TWENTY-TWO YEARS OLD? TWENTY-TWO???????#this actually helped me a lot in coming to terms with my childhood. like she was doing her best she was just #twenty fucking two #like my mom was in a sense making head-of-the-family life-and-death decisions #and making a lifelong contract (to be the parent of a person she was creating) at age 22 #and just to be clear i also want to go lie down when i think about that #that is a real thing that happened and i'm not saying she was too young to have the right to make that kind of major decision #i'm just saying it makes me want to drag my fingernails down my face in agony #much like learning natori shuuichi is supposed to be 23. like nooooooo

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sunshinediaz · 6 months

Text

snippet sunday 🫧

hi, pals <3 i think. i think i'm about to come down with the worst sinus infection of my life so if i'm extra mia just know it's because i'm fighting demons

please enjoy a new bad things happen fic, where eddie and buck are forced to watch their house burn down??

The smell of smoke wakes him up, sharp and hot and smothering. It swirls in the air, mixing with mint and vanilla and eucalyptus, his cologne and their shampoo and that expensive detergent Buck likes so much, and Eddie has half a mind bitch at Buck for not showering before climbing into bed before he realizes their last shift was two days ago. Hysteria rockets through his system, cold like polar ice. He rolls around beneath the sheets, frantic and nervous, and slaps Buck’s shoulder till he wakes up. Buck groans, lifts his head out from beneath his pillow, and slurs, “Wha’s goin’ on?” because it’s 3:17 in the morning and it’s still three hours before their alarm rings to get Chris ready for school and there’s no reason for them to be up yet. “Fire,” he says, sliding off the bed and shuffling on the icy tiles in his bare feet. It startles him, wakes him up even more than the fire. Buck makes another noise, bewildered and a little slow. “Huh?” “The house is on fire, Buck!” It’s quiet for a moment, nothing at all except a telltale crackling of burning wood, and then Buck’s falling out of bed, slamming his head against the bedside table and slipping in the pool of sheets in the floor. He blinks, adjusting to the darkness of their bedroom; the smell of smoke has only gotten stronger, fluttering around them like fog rising from a secluded pond, and the look on his face when he realizes what’s going on reminds Eddie of when he was shot years ago.

i was tagged by @try-set-me-on-fire, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @hippolotamus, @watchyourbuck, @honestlydarkprincess, @exhuastedpigeon, @wikiangela, @daffi-990, and @giddyupbuck

and i'm gonna no pressure tag @callmenewbie, @eddiediaztho, @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy, @callaplums, @folk-fae and whoever else wants to share pls consider yourself tagged 🫶🏼

ps i'll be back later to gush over everyone's snippets and inspirations from yesterday okay i just have to rest a lil bit first please <3

#sigh #the kind of headache i have... my eyes hurt my nose hurt my temples hurt my body aches #i get sinus infections twice a year and this is the second time and fuuck it's gonna put me in a grave #anyway #this fic is gonna be for the forced to watch slot on my bingo card teehee #am i gonna keep it like this? idk i really don't like it but i DO like instant gratification so here i am #it's not gonna be as long as heart attack fic THANK GOD and oh boy the way eddie's gonna be so sad #anyway i'm excited for this fic mwah MWAH #tag games

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couldtheycatchkillerqueen · 21 days

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Regarding the recent post:

Killer Queen is too short ranged of a stand to affect most sleuths and it's not in Kira's character to drop Sheer Heart Attack at the police departament and hope.

Kira generally doesn't have many ways to deal with characters that: Work in teams. Work from far away. Have any sort of records showing that they're invastigating him.

The man had to be bailed out by Bites the Dust and still lost Most sleuths wouldn't even let Kira get away for long enough for him to aquire Bites the Dust so that's not even something to consider in most of these cases.

{But you're really ignoring one thing: It can't be detected by anyone but Stand Users. Why would they think they needed to investigate Yoshikage Kira specifically? There's no evidence of the killings, since in canon, even the police didn't try to investigate the mysterious disappearances. The sleuths would mostly not be able to understand that Killer Queen exists, and even if they assumed it was something supernatural, there's still no evidence. And the man managed to impersonate another man in front of his family, landlord, coworkers, and everyone who may have talked to Kosaku on the street, with only the man's child catching on. Had Hayato never thought to set up a camera in his parents' room, Kira would have never been caught at all. And Kira doing poorly against teams of people investigating him doesn't line up when he's gotten away from them twice (he would have escaped Jotaro and Koichi were it not for Act III, and he did escape the entire Duwang Gang when they were chasing him by severing his own hand), plus managing to keep his identity secret from EVERYONE except Hayato until the kid figured out how to use the time-loop to his advantage. You're right that most of the time Killer Queen wouldn't get to Bites the Dust, but it would be because Kira wouldn't need to. He has eliminated people in broad daylight before, and he could do so again when against someone who can't see Stands.}

#ooc response #not a poll #I'm genuinely a little pissed at the idea that Kira isn't terrifying in his own right #He was an uncaught serial killer even before he got his Stand #He was undetected until Rohan met Reimi #and would have continued being undetected if a literal ghost of his first victim hadn't been there #The man can blow you up #he can turn your watch into a bomb #he can turn your clothes into a bomb #He can create a bomb that will track you as long as you're the warmest thing in the room #And will likely do so if given the opportunity #There are multiple scenarios outside of BtD where if the heroes hadn't been as quick-thibking they would've died #Josuke and the dead man-guided air bubbles #Koichi and his distraction against Sheer Heart Attack #Josuke if Okuyasu hadn't come back to life #Okuyasu if Hayato hadn't sacrificed himself #Hayato if Josuke hadn't used Crazy Diamond at the perfect time #THE ENTIRE DIU CAST IF HAYATO HADN'T THOUGHT TO CALL JOSUKE #Kira is intelligent #Kira is subtle #And Kira could have won #Thank you for coming to my ted talk #And please stop suggesting that Kira would lose against Ordinary Goddamn People #rant post #ranting in the tags #killer queen #yoshikage kira #sorry for using you as an example anon but this has been annoying me and I needed to go for the throat

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