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the-redeemed-anon · 3 years

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Welp, since we got Wilbur back, let’s take a look at Eight

As a disclaimer, I’ll talk about the character, and if I mention the CC, I will label his name accordingly.

Okay, since the pog thing that happened on the 29th of April, and a couple of bad takes have already started to pop up Jesus Christ guys why do you want the dude that just got back to life after being trapped in limbo for over a decade to get beaten up violently- I think it’s appropriate to bring attention to the thing that gave me my pseudonym and my belief that we may get a redemption/healing arc for Wilbur: the song Eight, by Sleeping at Last.

Why this song matters, you may wonder. Well, it’s a song that we have confirmation to have been CC!Wilbur’s personal inspiration for his character, as said by CC!Wilbur himself. Not only does that give us insight into how and why Wilbur acted in certain ways in Season 1, but it also gives us the opportunity to see the inner turmoil he went through and still will.

Now keep in mind that this is just my interpretation of the song, other people may see the song differently, but overall looking at this song and looking for meaning into it I think is very useful if you plan to analyse Wilbur or even write about him. It truly gives you a lot of insight and context for how he was. Here is a link to it for you to listen to it, before I dive into the analysis.

First, let’s see what Eight is about, as a song. The song is about Type Eight of the Enneagram of Personality, which is basically a system that defines 9 different personality types. Sleeping at Last made a song for each Enneagram, actually, but we’re here to talk about Type 8 (also bear in mind I am not an expert in psychology, so I am not here to comment on the validity of this system. I’m here just to analyze a song lol).

What is Type 8 (aka a bit of analysis on Wilbur outside of the song)

Type 8 is often called the Challenger or the Protector. This type is characterized by a want to not show vulnerability, to have power. Their deepest fear is to not be in control of themselves, to be harmed, to be vulnerable, and their desire is to be in control of themselves, their life/destiny. They want respect over status, value loyalty and they want to make an impact on the world. You can start to see some core characteristics of Wilbur in this description.

We also have levels, from healthy to unhealthy, with which we can see what a Type 8 person can behave like.

Healthy Type 8 people act like a protector for others, they are the strong leaders, the challengers of oppression, the people who don’t stand for injustice in their communities. You can say they are the natural leader type, and I think you can start to see inklings of Wilbur’s personality from early Season 1 here. He started L’Manberg to challenge what he saw as tyranny. When Wilbur described the reasons he cared about L’Manberg, we can also notice that the values he lists align with the core desires of a Type 8: the desire to have control over their life, and not allow others to control them. By making L’Manberg to “stick it to the man“, Wilbur is very stereotypically a Type 8.

Average Type 8 people aren’t as open as someone on the healthy level is. Showing weakness is unacceptable. They may see relationships as the next challenge they need to surpass, and can come easily off as intimidating and ambitious to peers. To me, this sounds a bit like Wilbur after the War, before the announcement of the Festival. He was more closed off around that time, and you could argue that the Elections were a part of his ambition to prove that people respect him, that he can do this, rule a country. The new revelation that Wilbur was lying in his letters to Phil, about the Elections and the formation of Pogtopia also shows that he didn’t want to show weakness, to disappoint or worry his father.

Unhealthy Type 8 people become so closed off that they are intimidating and can appear tyrannical from the outside, often disregarding the feelings of others. They pursue power, and when someone stands in their way, they are cold and become quite antagonistic. They may issue empty threats in their pursuit for power, and their already existing relationships are turned into tests, where the only option is to pass or to fail, with no in-between. This can result in them being abandoned, and them accepting this as being better this way, to be alone. They can force themselves into loneliness.

If this sounds terribly familiar and recent, well... Wilbur, ever since the “Then let’s be the bad guys“ speech, has exhibited the traits of an unhealthy Type 8. Even now, post-resurrection, while he is trying to improve on himself, a lot of his traits remain or have worsened, due to staying in limbo for 13 years. He still has a persona under which he hides his issues, and as I have said in another post, he’s the emotional equivalent of a snail, you poke him gently and he completely retreats in his shell. Wilbur has actively driven people away from him for being so confrontational, and this can be seen again with Ranboo. All in all, Wilbur is definitely cozy in that section of the Type for now.

I also want to talk separately about three things:

1. The Pit

I won’t lie, the Pit is probably the most extreme thing Wilbur did to this date. It’s Wilbur at his lowest point morally and mentally, reveling in his brother figure fighting a much tougher opponent and losing. I won’t sit here and say he was right, nor am I gonna condemn you for your opinion on the Pit, but, when you look at Wilbur’s enneagram, the Pit and why it happened makes sense. What happened right before? The Festival. The Festival was meant to be the time Wilbur either blew up Manberg or left it be, based on Tubbo’s call. Wilbur prepared for those two scenarios, and felt in control of the situation... then it all went horribly wrong. The situation spiraled wildly out of Wilbur’s grasp and it ended with the death of Tubbo and the possibility of Techno being on Schlatt’s side.

This started a breakdown fueled by paranoia that led to the Pit, to Wilbur goading Techno and Tommy to fight. The question is, why? Why do that?

To regain control. Wilbur, in my opinion, did that in an attempt to regain control, after the Festival slipped so hard from his grasp, no matter his effort to keep control of it. That was his urge, that was his need in the moment, no matter how messed up it was, he may have felt like this was necessary. Remember, the core fear of Eights is to not be in control of their own life and destiny, to be puppeteered by someone else. This is why the Pit happened, when you acknowledge the fact that Wilbur was unstable mentally, and he is the type of person to want control.

2. The want to protect others

This is a quality of healthy Eights that still shines through with Wilbur, but it’s sadly overshadowed by his more antagonistic or morally darker actions and quotes.

Wilbur was naturally a protective person. Because Eights challenge authority, this makes them see the world as being inhabited by those who are strong and those who are weak, and not in a bad way. Eights consider themselves part of the strong ones, because they stand up for themselves, but because they see the world also inhabited by the weak, they have the urge to protect them. They also stand up for whom they think can’t stand up for themselves on their own, they think they are responsible for the protection of others.

And when you look at Wilbur, this shines through. He made himself President, and while no one protested, he did it because he felt he was the one fit for the role. Even at the time this scene happened, you can see why Wilbur would have perceived Tommy, Tubbo and Fundy as weaker than him: Fundy was his son, and Tommy and Tubbo, no matter the age intended at the time, were always viewed as younger than him, not to say, Tommy had just lost 2 lives back-to-back. Therefore, Wilbur put himself in charge and with the duty to protect the nation and its people, as the President.

Wilbur even says this in the flashback from Quackity’s stream:

[“What has made you do everything you’ve done up to this point?” (Quackity)

“That’s a- That’s a big question. Um. I guess it’s just protection for my people. I mean, I- I- I just want to see them thrive, and I want to see them safe.” (Alivebur) - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:03:02, 12th Apr)]

It’s clear, Wilbur has a desire to protect his nation, and, by extension, his people, his friends, especially with the following quote once Quackity replies: [“Your aspirations of optimism are not going to be subject to my nation’s security I’m afraid. I- I completely disagree with everything you’ve said.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:18, 12th Apr)] He keeps hammering in the idea that he did what he did to protect and offer safety to his friends. That’s why he needed power: [“If you want to really help people, you’re gonna need power, Quackity.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:42, 12th Apr)]

And again, this happens even after the “Then let’s be the bad guys“ speech. Even though he initially says he wants to kill everyone at the Festival, when confronted with this on the day of the event, he second-guesses himself. He doesn’t want to hurt his friends, he doesn’t want to hurt people weaker than him. He distrusts Tubbo, but the moment Techno fires the first rocket, he’s shocked, appalled and moves to go to the button, while urging Tommy to act. When Schlatt wants to kill Niki, he steps out and offers himself to be killed and no one else be harmed.

Even the act of pushing the button himself, there are Wilbur analysts who have pointed out that Wilbur may have wanted to be stopped. And even then, the explosion created no casualties, thanks to all of them wearing armor.

In the Void, Wilbur talks about how he’s evil, how the server is better off without him. He recognizes himself as a hazard, and while that is a part of his self-loathing and hatred, you can also see his care for others shine through: he didn’t want to come back at the time, because he thought he would bring back conflict, suffering [“Here’s the thing, I genuinely think, if it weren’t for me and you dying right, the server would be in shambles. I know for a fact that if I come back, or if I’m brought back to life in some way it’s definitely gonna just go [shit again]” “I know what I’m like, that’s the issue.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 10:29, 4th March)]. By staying dead, at this point, he was continuing to prevent weaker people from being harmed.

Even now, post-resurrection, we can see this, but, well...

3. Opinion on Dream

I have looked at this before, from the angle of Wilbur’s mentality. We all know his opinion on Dream so far, that he would have killed him on the spot for what happened to Tommy in the Exile, but Wilbur still considers him his hero. While I said at the time that it may be a subtle way for Wilbur to cloak his self-loathing and self-hatred, but now I want to look at the first part again, from the perspective of Type 8:

Wilbur, by having the urge to kill Dream on the spot, for what he did to Tommy in Exile (and, keep in mind, Ghostbur wasn’t there for all of it, so Wilbur did not see the destruction of Logsted and why it happened, or how Tommy was completely isolated from everyone after the party, and Tommy referred to Dream as his owner to Mexican Dream), no matter what he says after about Dream, proves that he still has the quality to want to protect the weak.

Dream, as always, is one of the strong people of the server. He’s the owner, he has a lot of items and good gear, and in general, everyone recognizes him with a level of danger he presents, and power. Tommy, on the other hand, is one of the weaker ones.

While Tommy has valuable traits, like his loyalty, his fierce determination and the will to keep moving despite how low life kicks him at times, one can’t deny that, in general, Tommy is viewed as one of the weak. He doesn’t have that many powerful items, he isn’t physically that strong, people constantly pick on him, and he is one of the minors of the server, the youngest of them, in fact. Add to that the humiliation of Exile and the treatment he was put through, Tommy was not only at his weakest then, but also at his most vulnerable.

Why would it be a surprise then for Wilbur to want to gut Dream, considering the above? Tommy and Wilbur were very close. As Wilbur acknowledged in the latest stream: [“We were a family, Tommy. We were…” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 27:26, 5th May)], they were once so close they could have been brothers. Tommy stuck with Wilbur as a right hand man, he was the only one who didn’t give up on him in Pogtopia, no matter if he thought his choices were right or wrong, and Wilbur confided in Tommy a lot. Now take this little brother figure he had in Tommy, and put him through Exile.

Of course Wilbur would want to gut Dream, Tommy may as well be part of his family, and Wilbur doesn’t strike me as the kind to want his loved ones in pain, genuinely. He may dismiss the feelings Tommy has sometimes, but his reaction to Exile shows that he isn’t blind to suffering. He saw it and recognized as harmful and damaging to Tommy, unprompted by anyone else.

He even makes a comment that I think may be important in the future: [“Tommy, I’m not, I’m not- I wasn’t blind, I saw what he was doing to you, Tommy. I saw. I saw what he was doing to Tubbo. I saw what he did to me.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 21:08, 5th May)]. Remember, Wilbur right now is deeply conflicted, I don’t think he’s properly sorted his feelings on Dream yet. He, in this quote, recognizes he saw how Dream treated Tommy, Tubbo and himself. While Eights want to protect the weak, their core fear is being controlled or harmed by others. I am very curious what will happen if, or, when, Wilbur will decide that Dream is also a hazard to himself, or if Dream will try to use Wilbur for his own plans. But, this is starting to deviate from the purpose of this post so, with that out of the way...

The lyrics:

I remember the minute It was like a switch was flipped I was just a kid who grew up strong enough To pick this armor up And suddenly it fit

Here, Wilbur’s arc and story begins. The lyric recount the moment Wilbur’s spiral began: the Final Control Room. He remembers that betrayal up to his death, still calling Eret a traitor and quoting him, with the same quote he used: “It was never meant to be”. This moment is what will define and shape Wilbur throughout Season 1, and even now. The switch mentioned is the button pressed, the moment everything changed. “I was just a kid” is Wilbur recognizing that he was not ready for the role of President, sentiment reflected by the rest of the lyrics: “who grew up strong enough/To pick this armor up”. Wilbur forced himself to bear the title of president, like a suit of armor, something that protects you, and helps you to fight for others, until “suddenly it fit”.

God, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago I was little, I was weak and perfectly naive And I grew up too quick

Here Wilbur internally recognizes that time passed, his ideology changed, as evident the quotes from Quackity’s stream: [“You say, you say everyone has a good side, Quackity. And you’re right, you’re right, everyone has a good side, but that good side is only there to help themselves. If you want to really help people, you’re gonna need power, Quackity. You can make a movement, you can make a resistance, right, you can go out and you can come back, and they’ll give you a ticker tape parade. They’ll cheer for you in the streets, but you will change nothing. If you have a revolution, everyone will hate you, you will sacrifice everything, and you will lose everything you’ve ever had, but you’ll come back and everything will be changed. And Quackity, if you want to change things, you’re gonna need power. That’s what you want, really, isn’t it? Look at me. And power isn’t gaining from diplomacy, and bureaucracy, and giant courthouses suspended in the sky, blah blah blah. It’s gained from swords, Quackity. It’s gained from blades, it’s gained from steel, iron. Even if everyone has this good side that you’re talking about, then anyone who wants to prove it, has to show their dark side first. You’re going to have to kill, you’re going to have to torture, you’re going to have to maim.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:06:34, 12th Apr)]. Yet, even if this happened so “long ago, long ago, long ago”, he “grew up too quick”, because the change was too sudden, and it didn’t occur naturally.

Now you won't see all that I have to lose And all I've lost in the fight to protect it I won't let you in, I swore never again I can't afford, no, I refuse to be rejected

I think this verse refers to the Election and its fallout. He quite literally loses a lot on that day, not only his country and his second life, but seemingly, his son, because Fundy takes down the walls. Wilbur also lost a lot in the Independence War, as he lost his first life in there, his son and allies lost their lives too, and this created the perfect environment for paranoia around trust to form. Wilbur, at this point, swears to not let himself be vulnerable with anyone again, or to fully trust people, because of what happened in the Final Control Room and at the Elections. The last line is Wilbur deciding to go ahead and start Pogtopia, to reclaim his nation. As you may remember, the Election was held so that Wilbur could legitimize his presidency, because he felt people started to not listen to him anymore, and an election, in his mind, would have fixed that. Due to his paranoia, and depression, Wilbur couldn’t afford to lose, because the presidency was one of the things that gave him happiness and helped him function. Once he lost and was banished, he decided to strike back and take back the country, or, as the lyrics say, “I refuse to be rejected”.

I want to break these bones 'til they're better I want to break them right and feel alive You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong My healing needed more than time

People who’ve broken a bone before may be familiar with this, but there is a possibility for a broken bone to heal incorrectly, so, when that happens, the bone is broken again and you try again. What that lyric means is that Wilbur was not healing properly, and he was constantly damaging himself again, to restart the process, to make his bones stronger, to make himself better. The “feel alive“ part, in my opinion, goes hand in hand with the fact that Wilbur was... not in the best place mentally in that time. We all know how he died, and, to be honest, a lot of the morally bad things Wilbur did could be argued to have been done to give him something to live, be it thrill or satisfaction. The last two lyrics, I feel, are directed to Tommy; Wilbur needed more than just time to “come back around“, and we know how Season 1 ended.

Now, this may be a controversial take, but... This is the end of Wilbur’s Season 1 arc. I think this is as far as Wilbur’s parallel to Eight went in Season 1, it’s the Pogtopia Era, up to November 16th. You may say that it’s his unfinished son- *gunshots*

Okay, okay, but what does that mean for the rest of the song? Well... It could be that either CC!Wilbur will stop with the Eight parallels here, or, the version I like, it means that the rest of the song is a hint for insight into how Wilbur feels and how his character will change in the future.

When I see fragile things, helpless things, broken things I see the familiar I was little, I was weak, I was perfect, too Now I'm a broken mirror

This is Wilbur recognizing that he is not okay, internally, which we know is a thing in canon, because of this quote from the Resurrection stream: [”Are you trying to- Are you trying to make me- Tommy, are you trying to make me- You remember that time in the cave? Are you trying- Are you trying do- Are you trying to make me feel like I did back then, in Pogtopia? Are you trying to- Are you trying to make me feel as bad as I did back then? ‘Cause it’s not gonna work!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 59:06, 29th Apr)] It’s a great step for Wilbur, afterall, healing starts when you recognize you have a problem, so you can begin fixing it, but, as we know...

But I can't let you see all that I have to lose All I've lost in the fight to protect it I can't let you in, I swore never again I can't afford to let myself be blindsided

Wilbur is the emotional equivalent of a snail. Here we see “Snailbur” doing a reprise of the third paragraph, which I linked to him in the Election Era and its fallout. From the way the lyrics are worded, we can see the how similar they are, but there is a difference: reluctance. Wilbur knows he’s not okay, but he can’t reach out for help, because then, he’ll be showing weakness, but he wants to open up. “Now” becomes “but”, “I won’t let you in” becomes “I can’t let you in”. Now he’s not afraid of rejection, he doesn’t want to be blindsided, which I didn’t know at first what it meant, because my native language is not English, but when I looked it up I came across this definition: “to surprise someone, usually with harmful results”. This shows us something important: Wilbur is hiding his true feelings because he’s afraid to not be hurt again. He doesn’t want another Final Control Room or Election to happen to him.

I'm standing guard, I'm falling apart And all I want is to trust you Show me how to lay my sword down For long enough to let you through

This set confirms it, Wilbur is on the defense now, he’s defending from potential hurt, and the second part of the first lyric is hinting at what a lot of Wilbur analysts have pointed out and we are prepping for: Wilbur having a big crash from the high he’s experiencing from getting resurrected, he’ll be “falling apart“, he’ll be vulnerable, and open to hurt, or... Redemption. This is it. This is the section that made me insist and theorize about a redemption/healing arc: that second lyric, continuing with the rest: Wilbur is reaching out to someone or some people, that he can put his trust to. Wilbur doesn’t just need someone willing to redeem him, because we had that in Pogtopia, with Tommy, no, Wilbur also needs himself to open up, trust people and ask for help. And that is exactly what happens in the last two lyrics: Wilbur is asking for help to open up and let people help him.

Here I am, pry me open What do you want to know? I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough To hold the door shut And bury my innocence But here's a map, here's a shovel Here's my Achilles' heel

And here we have it. Wilbur opening up. Wilbur finally letting someone in, admitting he’s scared, he’s scared of hurting again, comparing himself to a kid. This one I find very symbolic, because if he, at the beginning, was a kid, then by admitting he is a kid at this stage, he’s the same person he was at the beginning, with the good he had, with the flaws he had, what he did and the trauma he gained will never erase that. The innocence in this part of the song, I think is Ghostbur. People forget, but while Ghostbur seems to be a separate entity, he’s still very much a version of Wilbur. He has a lot of his memories, his happy ones. Wilbur and Ghostbur are the two sides of the same coin, different, yet so much alike. You need both to understand the other. Wilbur has the capacity to be innocent, to be kind, good, he just... buried these qualities, and someone has to help him dig them up, when he is ready to open up. I don’t think I need to explain the meaning of someone showing you their Achilles’ heel, beside the fact that it means they trust you with their life. Wilbur needs to find someone to trust.

I'm all in, palms out I'm at your mercy now and I'm ready to begin I am strong, I am strong, I am strong enough to let you in

Here, I think we see Wilbur accepting the consequences of his actions, of the hurt he caused, because, while he’s not irredeemable, he did hurt people, and he needs to be open to them not forgiving them, but, as the song says, just then he’ll be “ready to begin” his healing and redemption. And right at the end there, “I am strong” is repeated thrice, he’s ready to heal, to be vulnerable with someone. It’s the redemption in full swing from here to the end.

I'ma shake the ground with all my might And I will pull my whole heart up to the surface For the innocent, for the vulnerable And I'll show up on the front lines with a purpose

Remember what I said, about healthy Eights? Champions of the people, natural leaders, challengers of oppression and protectors of the weak? This is what Wilbur should become at the end of the redemption, if we are to follow the song. He’s gonna put all of his strength into fighting for what’s right, and he’ll open up, he will heal. We’ll be back to fighting for “the innocent, for the vulnerable”, he’ll have a purpose to fulfill. L’Manberg was deeply tied to both Wilbur and Ghostbur, and Wilbur himself admitted to caring about L’Manberg because what it stood for. Now, L’Manberg is gone, but those ideals aren’t. Maybe, just maybe, he’ll fight in the future to protect those ideals.

And, finally:

And I'll give all I have, I'll give my blood, give my sweat An ocean of tears will spill for what is broken I'm shattered porcelain, glued back together again Invincible like I've never been

I really like the end here. Because, it’s not only reinforcing the idea that Wilbur will be redeemed, but that penultimate lyric always stood out for me: “I'm shattered porcelain, glued back together again”. Porcelain is, while very fragile, a beautiful material. When I think of the word, I think of beautiful vases, handcrafted with skill and care. It’s a shame when a porcelain vase breaks. But, just because something is broken, it doesn’t mean it can’t be repaired. And when I think of repaired porcelain, I think of the Japanese art of kintsugi - a technique with which broken pottery is glued in such a way that the cracks aren’t hidden, but celebrated as a part of the object’s history, by filling them in with gold. I like to think that at the end of his healing arc, Wilbur will be similar, he was broken, he healed, but the scars are still there, and, even then, he’ll be thriving again. It’ll be an experience that, overall, helped him become better. And the final lyric: “Invincible like I've never been“, I like to think that this will be him at his peak: healed, happy, ready to take life by the horns, like he wasn’t before. It’s a hopeful, happy note to finish the song and his story on.

And that is my analysis on the song and the enneagram, I guess (Jesus this got waaay longer than I expected). I really hope Wilbur will get a redemption arc, it’s already wonderful that we have him back AND he wants to live (it’s honestly the first time I see, in any media, a suicide victim that not only is brought back to life, but they are happy to be back). Hopefully this is useful to people, and, as always, thanks to @kateis-cakeis for compiling Wilbur’s/Ghostbur’s quotes in a masterlist with timestamps and anything you’d want to know about them. It’s a goldmine of analyzing Wilbur and I highly encourage you to check it out.

#dream smp #dsmp #wilbur soot #dsmp wilbur #dream smp analysis #dmp analysis #dream smp character analysis #dsmp character analysis #finally... after 3000 years... the Eight analysis is complete #this took so long I am sorry lmao #now I can go focus on schoolwork #and before someone says it I'll say it #snailbur effervescent

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oldmanatom · 3 years

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A Locked Tomb Fanmix But It’s All Classic Country

this exists entirely because one night the thought “but what if i made a Locked Tomb fanmix with only classic country songs” popped into my head, unprompted, and i thought it was too hilarious to not do.

the art on the cover is done by @starfleetofficial, who this mix is also dedicated to. thank you for recommending me these books, continuously “yes, and”ing my semi-coherent TLT messages sent at 5 in the morning, and being so supportive about this idea. (also check out her version, A HtN fanmix but it’s all Fiona Apple!) the cover design is referencing the famous Marty Robbins album, Gunfighter Ballads and Trail Songs.

my one listening note: this will probably be more enjoyable if it’s approached with an open mind and an expectation that it’s taking itself about as seriously as the official fanmixes do.

see below the cut for a song list and some lyric excerpts.

this mix has implicit spoilers for both Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth.

Gideon the Ninth mix: youtube / spotify / full res cover Harrow the Ninth mix: youtube / spotify / full res cover full mix: youtube / spotify / full res cover

Gideon the Ninth:

1. Johnny Paycheck, “Take This Job And Shove It”

You better not try to stand in my way 'Cause I'm walkin' out the door Take this job and shove it I ain't working here no more

2. Dolly Parton, “When Someone Wants To Leave”

It's a sad situation I must say When someone wants to leave as bad as you want them to stay

3. Loretta Lynn, “I’m A Gettin’ Ready To Go”

I'm gonna praise my savior's name everyday that I'm livin' Glory hallelujah I'm not ashamed to let my salvation show This old world's just my dressin' room and I'm a gettin' ready to go

4. Waylon Jennings, “I Ain’t Living Long Like This”

I tried to run but I don't think I can You make one move and you're a dead man friend Ain't living long like this Can't live at all like this, can I baby?

5. Loretta Lynn, “This Haunted House”

This haunted house I'm livin' in is killing me And the ghost of your love won't set me free Each morning finds me crying and alone In this haunted house we used to call our home

6. Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty, “After The Fire Is Gone”

We know it's wrong for us to meet But the fire's gone out at home And there's nothin' cold as ashes After the fire is gone

7. Loretta Lynn, “How Long Will It Take”

(How long will it take?) How long will it take to make you want me How much longer has this old heart gotta break (How long will it take?) How long will it take to make you need me I keep a waitin' and a wonderin' how long will it take

8. Stonewall Jackson, “Don’t Be Angry”

Maybe someday you're gonna hurt me I've been hurt in love before Only God can know And time alone will tell

9. Dick Curless, “A Tombstone Every Mile”

It's a stretch of road up north in Maine That's never ever ever seen a smile If they'd buried all them truckers lost in them woods There'd be a tombstone every mile

10. Johnny Paycheck, “(It Won’t Be Long) And I’ll Be Hating You”

Lately life with you has been unbearable All my faith in you has gone and I know it won't return I did everything to make you happy I could do Now you've gotten me hatin' things I used to love to do And it won't be long and I'll be hatin' you

11. Norma Jean, “Let’s Go All The Way”

All the way means happiness living side by side Halfway means a heartbreak if one of us should lie Just give me a clue that you love me too Hold me in your arms and say “Oh, let’s go all the way”

12. Loretta Lynn, “Everybody Wants To Go To Heaven”

Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die Lord, I wanna go to heaven but I don't wanna die Though I long for the day when I'll have new birth Still I love the livin' here on earth Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die

13. Homer & Jethro, “She Made Toothpicks Of The Timber Of My Heart”

She was seasoned, I was green Yes my darling lumber queen Wound me ‘round her finger like a clinging vine

14. Patsy Cline, “The Heart You Break May Be Your Own”

You'll look around and when you've found That you are all alone Then you'll get wise and realize The heart you break may be your own

15. Buck Owens, “I’ve Got A Tiger By The Tail”

Well every night you drag me where the bright lights are found There ain't no way to slow you down I’m as 'bout as helpless as a leaf in a gale And it looks like I've got a tiger by the tail

16. Charley Pride, “All I Have To Offer You (Is Me)”

Before you take another step, there's something you should know About the years ahead and how they'll be You'll be living in a world where roses hardly ever grow 'Cause all I have to offer you is me

17. Faron Young, “Live Fast, Love Hard, Die Young”

I wanna leave a lot of happy women A-thinkin’ pretty thoughts of me I wanna live fast, love hard, die young And leave a beautiful memory

18. Dolly Parton and Porter Wagoner, “The Last Thing On My Mind”

I've got reason a plenty for goin' This I know, this I know The weeds have been steadily growin' Please don't go, please don't go

Are you going away with no word of farewell Will there be not a trace left behind I could've loved you better, didn't mean to be unkind You know that was the last thing on my mind

19. Marty Robbins, “The Master’s Call”

I felt the end was near, that death would be the price When a mighty bolt of lightning showed the face of Jesus Christ And I cried “oh Lord forgive me, don't let it happen now I want to live for you alone, oh God these words I vow”

Bridge: Lefty Frizzell, “Long Black Veil”

She walks these hills in a long black veil She visits my grave when the night winds wail Nobody knows, nobody sees Nobody knows but me

Harrow the Ninth:

1. Hank Williams, “I’ll Never Get Out Of This World Alive”

Every thing's against me and it's got me down If I jumped in the river I would probably drown No matter how I struggle and strive I'll never get out of this world alive

2. Dolly Parton, Linda Ronstadt, and Emmylou Harris, “Those Memories Of You”

In dreams of you, my body trembles I wake up and call your name But you're not there, and I'm so lonesome Without your love, I'd go insane

3. Hank Snow, “I Don’t Hurt Anymore”

I don't hurt anymore, all my teardrops are dried No more walking the floor with that burning inside Just to think it could be time has opened the door And at last I am free I don't hurt anymore

4. Patsy Cline, “Stop The World And Let Me Off”

Oh, stop the world and let me off I'm tired of goin' round ‘n' round I played the game of love and lost So stop the world and let me off

5. Charley Pride, “Lie To Me”

Oh, lie to me, say you love me Tell me I mean the world to you It would mean so much, I'd be so happy And it's the least you can do

6. Hank Snow, “Ninety Miles An Hour (Down A Dead End Street)”

Warnin' signs are flashin' by us but we pay no heed Instead of slowin' down the pace we keep picking up the speed Disaster's gettin' closer every time we meet Doin' ninety miles an hour down a dead end street

7. Patsy Cline and the Anita Kerr Singers, “I Can’t Forget”

Where are you, darlin'? Are you with someone new I can't forget you I'll always be loving you

8. Lynn Anderson, “If I Kiss You (Will You Go Away)”

You're so much hurt I wish you wouldn't stay If I kiss you will you go away?

9. Connie Smith, “Once A Day”

Once a day all day long And once a night from dusk till dawn The only time I wish you weren't gone Is once a day, every day, all day long

10. Charley Pride, “Just Between You And Me”

But just between you and me I've got my doubts about it 'Cause just between you and me You're too much to forget

11. Buck Owens, “Hello Trouble”

A comin' up my sidewalk Just as plain as day A well a here come trouble that I never thought I'd see When you went away

12. Loretta Lynn, “Fist City”

You'll bite off more than you can chew If you get too cute or witty You better move your feet if you don't wanna eat A meal that's called Fist City

13. The Davis Sisters, “I Forgot More Than You’ll Ever Know”

You think you know the smile on his lips The thrill at the touch of his fingertips But I've forgotten more Than you'll ever know about him

14. Kitty Wells, “Pick Me Up On Your Way Down” (Charlie Walker’s version is on the Spotify playlist)

When you learn these things are true I'll be waiting here for you As you tumble to the ground Pick me up on your way down

15. Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty, “You’re The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly”

And that's the reason that my good looks and my figure is gone And that's the reason I ain't got no hair to comb And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling

16. Loretta Lynn, “Who Says God Is Dead”

If I were you I'd kneel and pray 'Cause we're not promised one more day Remember blood was shed Who says God is dead?

17. Patsy Cline and The Jordanaires, “Imagine That”

Can you believe I'd swallow my pride (Well yes, yes, I guess you can) 'Cause you know you've always had my foolish heart Right in the palm of your hand, oh

18. Jody Miller and Johnny Paycheck, “Let’s All Go Down To The River”

Jesus is the man at the river And he's washing people's sins away He can save your soul if you give him control Oh be ready for that judgement day

19. Bobby Bare, “Dropkick Me, Jesus”

Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am Make me a piece in Your master game plan Free from the earthly temptation below I've got the will, Lord, if You got the toe

20. Lynn Anderson, “Heaven’s Just A Sin Away”

Devil's got me now Oh, gone and got me now I can't fight him anyhow I think he's gonna win

Heaven’s just a sin away Oh, just a sin away Heaven help me when I say I think I’m givin’ in

21. Loretta Lynn, “Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed”

I'm gonna search everywhere that you might be When I find you I'm a bringin’ you home with me I want you out of my head And back in my bed Before the morning comes

22. Johnny Cash, “Big River”

Now, won't you batter down by Baton Rouge, River Queen, roll it on Take that woman on down to New Orleans, New Orleans Go on, I've had enough, dump my blues down in the gulf She loves you, Big River, more than me

Now I taught the weeping willow how to cry, cry, cry And I showed the clouds how to cover up a clear blue sky And the tears that I cried for that woman are gonna flood you, Big River And I'm gonna sit right here until I die

#the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #gideon nav #tlt #i am 100% expecting for this to entertain maybe five people (two of which have seen it already) and to otherwise go unnoticed #but that's okay because it's a labor of love and every time i either listen to the playlist or look at the damn cover i just start laughing #anyways if anyone has questions about anything on here my ask is open. it's large and somewhat...imaginative in what songs are on here + why #one flesh one end #listen to this

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hawkland · 3 years

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Destiel fic recs/what I’ve been reading (round #2)

I promised (eventually!) more fic recs and I figured I’d better do it soon before my list to talk about got TOO long. Also I’m just bubbling to praise up an amazing fic I read last night that literally has given me a fanfic hangover this morning and I need you all to suffer with me.

Starting with that fic in question:

Aria for an Angel (84k) by anyrei, mugglerock. I hurt all over from this one and I command you to do the same.

That said, DO NOT READ if you can’t stand the idea of Cas finding love/happiness with someone else (even if the fic is endgame Destiel). Also don’t read if you can’t stand your heart being shattered by pain before being carefully put back together again. Those warnings aside, this is one of the most stunning fics I’ve read yet in SPN fandom and I’m going to rec it at you no matter what. I’ve been feeling very pissy at Dean lately, as I’m on season 12 in my complete watch-thru, and with how much Cas has been suffering and getting beaten down for, like, SEASONS now. And it got me looking for fics where Cas gets some of the TLC/love/care that he needs from someone else, at least until Dean can get his shit together. Enter Mick Davies. Mick comes to Cas for help with a case that ends up involving a Grigori, and the two grow closer as Cas enjoys spending time with someone who genuinely expresses care and concern for him...but when Dean finds out will he have to choose between the Winchesters, his found family on Earth, and his new boyfriend? And when tragedy strikes, is it too late for a second chance at his first love again?

This story is funny, hot, heartbreakingly sad and just completely wrung me out emotionally. The characterizations totally worked for me, the growth they all went through was the kind of stuff I only wish the writers of the show could pull off. There’s just...there’s so much pain and love and some good stuff with poor Sam and Mary caught in the middle of this shitstorm and I wasn’t sure I could be brought back around to wanting Cas and Dean together in the end, but the authors pulled it off and everything about this story hurts, and heals, in the best possible way.

The rest of my recs in this round-up beneath the cut.

Seek to Know You Better (32k) by ahurston. Season 15 canon-divergence—so no Empty, no rusty nail, but things are relatively calm and settled in the hunter/Winchester world. As such Dean and Cas go on a road-trip together, investigate some minor cases, and gradually open up and really TALK via a “36 Questions That Lead to Love” article Cas finds on-line. One of those fics that just gives you a happy glow inside to read; it feels very believable and the characters have a maturity and adultness to them that just feels right. The little details of all the places they stop for food while talking are a delight, and it’s just the right amount of pining (for me) before they finally get things together.

Purgatory, director's cut (27k) by runsinthefamily. THIS IS THE ULTIMATE PURGATORY FIC (well, in my reading adventures so far.) Written (apparently?) before season 8 actually aired, it takes a very different - and weirdly creative and bizarre - look at what purgatory would be like. And if Cas stuck with Dean through it all. It also posits that as a human Dean would be “allergic” to purgatory and need Cas’s grace to hold himself together...but the deeper they travel, trying to get out, the more precarious Cas’s hold on his vessel becomes. I love everything about this fic, the weird imagery, the way Dean just...rolls with everything happening to Cas and still loving him because it’s Cas, not his vessel, that’s important.

Grooming Instincts (26k) by jemariel. More wing!kink which...yeah. Gimme all the wing grooming/back massages and weird angel anatomy, please. Cas is grumpy while going through what he describes as “molting” only...it’s a bit more complicated than that. And Dean has no idea what he’s gotten himself into until Cas starts grooming him...and Kevin is able to translate/figure out what’s happened. Funny and hot and just...a yummy happy read with great bits from Sam, Kevin and Charlie for good measure.

Things that Leave Marks (23k) by thestoryinsideme. Canon-divergent from Season 9. Wherein it takes Dean three years to find Cas after getting kicked out of the bunker. And when he does, it’s apparent he’s been through a lot, and he’s not exactly ready to or certain about going back to life with the Winchesters. This was sad and sweet and fluffy and angsty in all the right ways for a comfort fic read. (Also features Cas the budding artist! I love that idea!)

Wavelength-gasm (11k) by Mumble-Bee. The fuck or die trope gets a very fun twist when it involves needing to fuck an angel in his true form. Dean certainly learns this the hard way! This rec is for all the trueform!Cas-loving freaks like me out there...I’ve certainly never seen a smut fic embrace the weirdness of it all like this one.

Drive Faster Sammy (7k) by almaasi. Speaking of fuck-or-die fics, pray for Sam in this one. He has to listen to Dean helping when Cas gets struck by one (again) and they don’t have time to make it back to the bunker—so things get kind of graphic in the backseat of the Impala.

Love Burns Its Casualties (5k) by anactoria. Beautiful and bittersweet fic set during “The End”. Present-day Dean can’t sleep, and ends up invited by future!Cas to spend what he knows is likely his last night alive with him. Features casual weed use (if that bothers you), some very hot shotgunning (if it doesn’t), and is just...a wonderfully written atmospheric story that I’ve already re-read several times. (It’s especially a good read when slightly stoned yourself. Um. Not that I’m necessarily advocating for that sort of thing, unless it’s legal in your neck of the woods. Um. Anyway...)

something quiet and minor and peaceful and slow (3.7k) by celeste9. Heaven fic, so don’t read if that’s not your thing. Also don’t read if you’re completely convinced John Winchester is an unredeemable homophobe and terrible parent all around. I, personally, liked this take a lot more as it shows a struggling but not horrible John confused about why this angel keeps popping over, asking Mary questions about what Dean will want in his little slice of Heaven. The title really describes the lovely mood of this little fic and I liked it a lot.

heaven, reconstructed (9k) by vaudelin. Another Heaven fic, more focused on Cas than Destiel (but that is endgame). Goes into what exactly Cas was doing, working with Jack to try to build a better Heaven while awaiting Dean’s eventual arrival. It’s a great fic for world-building (in more ways than one!) in the SPN universe and I like a story that explores Cas’s relationships with others beyond Dean and Sam. I’d add too that as a fan of The Good Place, I just in general enjoy stories that look at the complexity of what actually would constitute a “perfect” afterlife. So imagine Castiel as a TGP architect here if you will (I certainly did!)

The Passion of the Christ (and his angelic ex-boyfriend) (4.9k) by Bzzee. Another heaven!fic, but pure delightful crack. What happens when Dean and Cas run into one of Cas’s ex-boyfriends in Heaven’s roadhouse...who just happens to be Jesus Christ. Dean isn’t too happy with that knowledge (and neither is Judas). Just read it—heresy and all. For a crack fic it’s actually wonderfully smart and wicked.

Can't You Hear It Calling (4.7k) by imogenbynight. A “missing scene” from s8e32 (Sacrifice). Cas expects to never see Dean again once he (expects to, at least) close the gates of Heaven. As a parting gift, he takes Dean back in time to a Led Zeppelin concert...and then a motel room to spend a final night together. As a music lover, the description of the excitement of the concert (and the happy/sadness when the show is almost over) totally hit me in the feels...and it’s such angsty/beautiful smut when they get together.

You're Gonna Live Tomorrow (3k) by MajorEnglishEsquire, microcomets, orange_crushed. Cas doesn’t know a lot about being human (yet), but he does know one thing - he wants to marry Dean. Sweet, sweet happy fluff, just enjoy.

Who's Counting? (1.7k) by Annie D (scaramouche). Just some pure angel-powered delicious smut. Dean learns the hard way, over and over again, that angels have basically no refractory period.

#destiel recs #my fic recs #deancas recs #hawkland reads spn fic #destiel #my destiel recs

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soniaxdixon · 3 years

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The New World; Series Pt 2

Okay so this is my first time writing a fic and obviously will be my first series but I’ve just rewatched TWD for like the 17th time and my obsession with Daryl has reached new levels. I hope that it isn’t too shit and that you guys actually read/like it. Thank you in advance for baring with my average writing but I mean, how else will I learn? Anyway, enjoy!

Sonia x

Set pre to early season 1, back story for when the world ended.

Part 2 of ??

Summary: Y/N Grimes is Rick’s younger hot headed sister. When Rick gets shot and falls into a coma, Y/N’s world ends. Y/N Finds herself at a quarry near Atlanta with her nephew carl, sister in law Lori and her best friend Glenn where she meets her new family including the equally hot headed redneck Daryl Dixon. Over time Y/N and Daryl begin to form a friendship, finally allowing one another to open up to someone and maybe finding someone they can actually love.

Warnings! Slowish burn but the feels are there from the start, swearing, A little angst.

Words; 1774

This part focuses more on Season 1 Episode 3 ‘Tell it to the frogs’ We have a little reunion and start to explore Daryl and y/n’s relationship a bit more. - Sorry in advance if there are any errors, I didn’t really edit it properly

Like every morning, you were woken up by the sounds of your friends talking outside and the morning light forcing your eyes open. You rose, got dressed and stepped out of your tent your heart jumping when a big figure grabbed your shoulder suddenly, without warning.

“Jesus fucking christ, Daryl. A little heads up that you’re behind me next time? Shit.”

The ends of his lips curled into a small smile that made your stomach flip with butterflies. The power this man had over you already was immense. “M’ goin’ huntin’, shouldn’t be too long. Let Merle know if he gets back.” And with that, he was gone, not even giving you a chance to respond, his crossbow over his shoulder, hastily making his way into the woods. You couldn’t help but stare until his figure finally disappeared among the trees.

You looked over and saw Carl getting his haircut by Lori. He locked eyes with you and mumbled a plea for help. You shook your head and laughed at his suffering face. Catching on to the end of their conversation, you sat down next to Shane who was cleaning his gun.

“Frogs, plural”

“Why do we need ‘Frogs, plural?’” Carl questioned

You zoned out for a second, looking off in the direction Daryl had headed. Your mind suddenly racing. What happens if he comes across a walker? What happens if he comes across lots of walkers. Did he have a gun or just his crossbow? Why did he go alone?

“What do you think, Y/N?” Shane’s voice broke you from your silent panic.

You just stared at him for a second and he read your confusion, he knew you had a habit of zoning out. “Cajun style kermit legs, what do you think?”

“Oh, gross. No thanks.” Your face contorted with the thought of eating frog legs cooked by Shane. “You can keep your frog legs, I’d rather eat dirt.”

Your conversation was halted by the sudden sound of a car alarm.

“What the fuck?” You questioned, your eyes focusing on Shane.

“Talk to me, Dale?” Shane leapt from his seat and made his way over to the RV

You stood next to Shane, your arms crossed protectively across your chest.

The car sped up the hill suddenly screeching to a halt, Glenn climbing out of the drivers seat instantly being hounded by questions and yelling.

“My sister, is she okay?” Amy asked glenn over and over.

“Yes, she’s fine, everybody is. Merle not so much.”

Your stomach dropped quickly at the thought of Merle not being okay. What would you tell Daryl?

You turned and shuffled quickly towards your tent, climbing inside and finding your water bottle. You sat down for a few minutes, taking steady drinks. Poor Daryl you thought to yourself. You knew what it was like to lose a brother. You were drawn from your thoughts by the sound of a truck pulling up. Exiting your tent again you made your way over to Lori and Carl, placing your hands on the boys shoulders.

Everyone was reuniting and for a second, everyone was happy. You felt Carl’s shoulders begin to shake as he started sobbing. Lori knelt down and comforted him as he cried again for his dad.

“How’d y’all get out of there anyway?” Shane asked

“New guy, he got us out”

“Hey helicopter boy, come say hello. Guy’s a cop, just like you.”

You looked up at Morales’s words and felt your knees turn in. Tears filled your eyes as he stood there in front of you.

“Holy shit” was all that came out of your mouth before you saw carl running past you

“Dad!”

You’ve never seen the boy run so fast as Rick pulled him to the ground in a hug. Picking him up and walking to Lori. Your heart swelling with love as he let go of them and his eyes found you.

“Oh my God.” He uttered as he grabbed you and you finally allowed your knees to drop. He held you up as he hugged you, tighter than you have ever hugged before. You had him back. The only thing that could keep you calm. Your big brother was alive.

That night you sat around a fire and listened to Rick talk about his experience. Waking up in the hospital only to find the world had fallen apart. They spoke about Merle, how he was handcuffed to a roof in Atlanta, how T-Dogg had dropped the key, how they would have to tell Daryl.

You couldn’t think about it anymore, you pushed yourself off he ground and leaned down, placing a kiss on Carl’s forehead and hugging your brother one more time for the day.

You walked over to your tent and went to sleep for the night. As usual, the only thing on your mind was Daryl but tonight, it wasn’t the usual thoughts of what it would be like if you were together. Tonight they were thoughts flooded with worry.

————

You scrambled for your clothes in the morning, pulling on some blue jeans and a black tee, pushing your way out of your tent and over to your group. The sudden sound of screaming had you running before you could even register what it was, pulling your knife from its sheath you sprinted towards the sound.

“Carl?” You yelled, Lori’s voice followed yours with the same question as she and rick ran behind you.

Lori grabbed him, “Nothing bit you, nothing scratched you?”

You ran with rick and the others to the source of the screaming. A lone walker feasting on a big deer. A deer with bolts in its side. The men began to beat the walker, forcing it to the ground before Dale cut its head off.

Sudden rustling drew you from your thoughts as you watched the bush intently.

“Son of a bitch, that’s my deer” the southern drawl all too familiar. “Look at it all gnawed on by this, filthy, disease bearin’, motherless, poxy bastard.”

You followed him back into the camp as he yelled out for his brother, “Merle! Get your ugly ass out here, got us some squirrels”

“Daryl, slow up a bit, I need to talk to you” with the words that Shane said, your stomach began to churn.

“Bout what?”

“Bout Merle, there was a problem in Atlanta.”

“He dead?” Daryl asked, you could see the panic etching his face slowly.

“Not sure.” Shane answered

“He either is or he ain’t” obvious venom dripped from his words as he stared at Shane, waiting for his next answer.

Your eyes turned to Rick as he stepped in suddenly, “no easy way to say this so I’ll just say it.”

“Who the hell are you?”

“Rick Grimes”

“Rick Grimes” Daryl mocked “You got something you wanna tell me?”

“Your brother was a danger to us all so I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked to a piece of metal”

Before you knew it, things escalated. Daryl threw the squirrels and pulled out a knife.

Within seconds the knife was on the floor and Shane had daryl in a choke hold. You couldn’t control yourself and you threw yourself at Shane, hitting his back, “Let go of him” You were grabbing at his shirt trying to pull him off when Glenn grabbed your arms as you struggled against him.

“Fucking let him go Shane or I’ll cut your fucking hands off.” At this point Glenn was forcing his hand over your mouth to shut you up and you finally complied when Shane let Daryl out of the choke hold.

You stormed off to your tent so you wouldn’t react again. Thoughts raced through your head. Why the hell did you do that, what on earth possessed you? You and Daryl had hardly spoken and yet you were suddenly threatening one of your closest friends just so he would let him go. Get your head on straight Y/N, Daryl’s gonna think you’re a crazy bitch now.

About 30 minutes later, Rick headed over to your tent to check on you, you had calmed down at this point but you were still pissed at Shane. “I’m taking, Daryl, Glenn and T-Dogg back into Atlanta to get Merle.”

“Okay, I’ll come.”

“No, I want you to stay here.”

You snapped “What the hell is with everyone thinking they have say in where I go.”

“I want you here in case something happens, You’ve taken care of Lori and Carl since the start and I need to know you will protect them while I’m gone.”

Your eyes softened as you shot him an apologetic look. “Where’s Daryl?”

“He’s in his tent, packing his bag.”

You squeezed ricks shoulder and found yourself walking to the edge of your camp, to Daryl’s tent.

“Hey, are you okay? I’m sorry about your brother.”

“Why the hell would ya even care? Just leave me be” He was obviously hurt and his tone stung you.

“Geez okay, sorry for checking on you, prick.” You mumbled the last word walking away before his hand grabbed your shoulder, sending chills down your back as he quickly pulled away.

“M’ sorry. Thanks for checking.”

You just looked at him but your face eased out of the scowl you had before hand.

“Why’d ya jump on Shane like that before? I thought that asshole was your friend.”

“Yeah kinda. We grew up together, he Rick and I. He’s just kinda always been a part of my life ya know. When I thought I lost Rick, he became an even bigger part and I think seeing him dismiss your brother like he was nothing riled me up because I know what its like to lose a brother. I was just lucky enough that mine came back somehow.”

Daryl never broke eye contact with you, watching as slight tears stung your eyes when you thought about losing Rick. “You’re gonna find him. He’ll be fine and you’ll bring him back.” He just continued to look at you as his mind raced with thoughts. This was the longest that you two had spoken, you were actually telling him something about yourself and something in his chest felt like it was on fire. You reached out and he flinched slightly, you put your hand carefully on his shoulder. “He’ll be okay Daryl, You’ll be okay.” You gently squeezed as you turned around to head back towards your tent.

You heard him barely whisper “Thanks.”

“Come back in one piece please.” You whispered back, just loud enough that he could hear you and the fire in his chest grew.

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixion imagine #daryl dixon x grimes reader #you x daryl dixon #y/n grimes x daryl dixon #y/n x daryl #y/n x daryl dixon #twd #twd fic #twd series #twd fic series #the walking dead #the walking dead fic

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intothewickedwood · 3 years

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Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 5x22 Only You

Does that mean Storybrooke’s magic is gone now that Rumple has tethered it to the crystal?

Well, I guess he can’t have taken all of it or Regina wouldn’t have been able to teleport etc.

Henry’s relationship with magic is like a freaking rollercoaster. At first, he thinks it’s the best thing in the world, then he hates it so much he wants to destroy it, then it’s the best thing in the world, then he tries to destroy it, then it’s the best thing in the world! But that’s kids for you, I guess! I’m sure I was like that and still can be. Come to think of it, would putting dynamite in the well in season 2 have destroyed magic?

Is that needle that’s put dozens of people under a sleeping curse the same one Maleficent used on Aurora?

Henry’s literally so powerful. I wish he could use his author powers more.

How is taking the crystal out of SB gonna destroy magic in SB?

Oh, so Rumple tethered the magic but didn’t technically absorb it from the town, so they can still use it.

Why can’t Regina text Henry to say that destroying magic would destroy SB? 

Guess they can go over the town line now, for the first time in like forever. But I guess Emma & Regina & Henry could already cross the threshold, possibly Violet too as she didn’t come over with the first curse. And then the others are brought to New York by a portal. 

Oh! So that’s why they can use magic in the lwom? Because Henry brought the crystal aka all the magic of Storybrooke there.

Aww. Henry and Violet are cute. I just wouldn’t recommend reading the Henry and Violet book if you appreciate their relationship in the show.

Oh, thank God. Zelena does promise to bring baby Robin to visit her brother Roland! I need them to have known each other growing up! I bet they’re really close. And Roland is just as sweet as ever and has to stop his sister being reckless. The Hufflepuff to her Slytherin (+ Gryffindor tendencies), if you will. And I need fics where Roland doesn’t grow up to be vengeful and angry. Once a Hufflepuff cupcake, always a Hufflepuff cupcake.

Did Regina agree to Roland going back to Sherwood Forest? I’m surprised she didn’t adopt him. It must have been the Merry Men’s decision because no way would they take orders from Zelena. 

Aww! Roly kissing his baby sis!! I’m gonna miss you Roly!! Literally the most adorable kid! Aww and Granny kisses him on the head too! I die!!

Look at his little mittens!!

I’m guessing he doesn’t know she killed his mama but maybe he knows that she posed as her and in a strange way enjoyed his time with her? I mean, I guess you can say that as Marian Zelena did, at least, take care of Roland and bond with him. Maybe she always wanted to be a mother? Still doesn’t excuse her killing Marian and posing as her. Just trying to make sense of this hug. Maybe Roland is just super forgiving! And you can say it’s cause he’s a child but let me tell you, I was so much less willing to forgive really terrible things as a child than I am now. 

Omg. They all fell so hard through that portal! Ow!

Emma’s genuinely worried Regina’s gonna put a sleeping curse on her.

Baelfire was trying to destroy magic in New York?

Ron used sellotape to try to fix his wand, so why not?

Omg Davis Bloom, love of my life! Well, it’s Hyde but this guy loves to play literal monsters! Listen, before Once Upon a Time, Smallville was my hardcore special interest show. I rewatched it so many times since I was 9! Anyway, Chloe was my favourite character and I’d always been a Chloe x Clark shipper and then Davis came along and Chlavis became my otp. He loved her so much! He gave her the love and attention she deserved! Yes it was messed up but that’s what 12-year-old me was and is here for! My mum and I were so excited when we found out the actor was gonna be in Ouat! I loved Davis to bits and ngl, was highly attracted to him (as was my mama), so excuse me as I continue to be thirsty over Hyde.

Back to the rewatch!

Hyde strangling people is my jam lol.

Snow, my girl, you really can’t keep a secret. She darn told Hyde about the Dark One’s love being pregnant! Oh well, love her anyway. And also, she was 10.

I’ll never forget, I once cut my eye and it legit looked like one of Hyde’s but scarier. It was so frightening to look at and really uncomfortable, but it healed eventually. Gives me the shivers just thinking about it. But it looks cool and sexy on Hyde xD. 

Is that the same book Tilly finds at Henry’s place in 7x14?

Regina: “like with Hook, my first impulse was to rip his throat out.” Jesus Regina! You’re saying that to the woman who just went to the Underworld for Hook and thought she’d lost him forever. He’s someone she loves. That’s intense! As someone who’s been told by a loved one, threateningly, that they are (completely seriously) going to violently kill another loved one, several times, that is so not cool. Luckily no one was killed though, it’s okay. 

I recently read a really interesting meta about Regina’s motivation for redemption being intellectual. Like she says here, she doesn’t want to do good. She hates doing good but she knows that villainous acts won’t get her her happy ending and so she reasons that in order for things to go less awful for her, she must to good. She doesn’t do it because of empathy, guilt or regret, she does it because she figures it’s what the heroes are doing and things are going right for them and because if she goes back to her evil ways she knows she’ll lose Henry and her new and only support network. I think the same can be said for Zelena’s motivations to do good. No shade, just an analysis.

Well at least she’s using the word “I” to express that she did those things. But, she seems more concerned about those things hanging over her than for what she did to her victims and how they felt and suffered.  She even seems more upset at the fact that she has lost a love again than the fact that Robin lost his life and his kids have lost their father.

Hmm. Interesting. She seems to suggest here that before she didn’t know the difference between good and evil. You know what, that could be true because she didn’t really get why people called her the ‘Evil Queen’ and then there’s the fact she was raised by Cora and Henry Sr. Cora probably warped her perception of good and evil and her father positively reinforced a lot of the evil Regina did and didn’t explain to her why the things Cora did and the lessons she taught were wrong.

Why are all those stories in the library? That makes no sense. 

There’s a problem. If the grail is the origin of all magic and Merlin found it around 1500 years before the present (apparently Merlin was a runaway slave too. Of course he flipping was!), how comes Gothel and Seraphina had magic thousands of years ago? I mean, I suppose they were from another land (that Gothel killed almost all the inhabitants of), so I guess people just don’t know magic didn’t originate from the grail. I mean, since the God’s had magic before the grail, and nymphs possibly have relations to gods, I suppose it makes sense that Gothel had magic but then, what about Seraphina? How does she have magic and how did she live so long? Did Gothel cast a spell on her that made her practically immortal or was she already immortal?

Well, that was easy for Rumple lol.

Transforming looks really painful.

The thing is. They shouldn’t have separated Jekyll from Hyde. I think it would have been cooler if they hadn’t. Sure, they can make Jekyll the true villain but why not have the heroes try to save Jekyll as Hyde thwarts their plans at every turn to the point where they have to agonize over hurting Jekyll to defeat Hyde. The same can be said for Regina. Don’t split them up! Just have Regina transform into the Evil Queen so you can’t tell when she’s Regina and when she’s the EQ working on her evil plan. That would’ve been really fun to watch and to try to figure out which persona she was and when! Also, they should have just made Jekyll transform when emotionally compromised rather than when taking the potion because without an assistant Jekyll could have easily lived without Hyde ever returning. 

I hate the look of that wand.

Hydes theme sounds so awesome!

Also, it would have been really cool to explore the Land of Untold Stories. It looks so rad!

How can Hyde summon the portal? Don’t you have to have enough dark magic?! I guess maybe his strength and durability are enhanced by dark magic?

Rumple, I don’t think Belle can here you in that box.

Can I marry Hyde now? I want to marry Hyde. 

#ouat #once upon a time #henry mills #ouat hyde #ouat rewatch #ouat rewatch 2019

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rovewritesit · 4 years

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Angel Of My Dreams (Chapter 2) John Deacon x Reader Series

Series Summary: After reluctantly joining a band with your childhood best friends, you are thrust into oncoming stardom with no sea legs and an overwhelming sense of anxiety. But you just might find your way, thanks to some seasoned pros by your side. And the interest of one particular bassist.

This series is a work of fiction, and is loosely inspired by real people and events. Absolutely no offense is meant to actual Queen or their families.

PART 1 - PART 3 - PART 4

Pairing: John Deacon x Reader

Chapter Warnings: Cursing, duh. Feelings of anxiety.

Chapter Notes: A wild Deacy appears! Reader was supposed to meet him in this chapter but it got a bit long. I may have awkwardly stuffed in some backstory as well, but I wanted to get through it before we start having more interactions with the members of Queen. I’m a hoe for Hot Space and Cool Cat is such a vibe so I had to throw it in here. If you haven’t heard the original demo with Bowie you should take a listen. The music video concept was sparked loosely by Mitski’s “Happy” video (it’s gory af, be forewarned). I’m aware that the MTV of the 80s definitely would’ve banned anything like that, but it’ll come back around in the plot later on.

Songs Mentioned:

Heart of the Night - Juice Newton

More Than A Feeling - Boston

My Best Friend’s Girl - The Cars

Song/Title Inspiration: Angel - Fleetwood Mac

Taglist: @yourlocalmusicalprostitute

- - - - - - -

February 1982 - Orpheum Theater, Boston

It’s noisy in the cramped green room backstage at the Orpheum Theater in Boston. Gone were the days of grand arenas while tagging along with Hall and Oates. Now only around 2,000 bodies lined the seats out in the house, but you still feel that familiar bubble of nerves as Dawn busies herself around your hair.

Dawn, your best friend from your two short years at NYU, had agreed to tag along for the short tour to help with your “look.” Not that you ever really had a problem with your usual jeans and t-shirts, but this rock type of glam proved to be a different beast, and Dawn certainly had an eye for style. Her voluminous hair always streaked blonde and crimped to perfection. She’d tried to convince you many times to do something chemical with yours but you held firm to your virgin hair, causing your pre-show routine to run well into an hour and a half to get the desired popular style. You smile up at her as she curls part of your bangs away from your face, truly grateful to have another woman around.

“Babes, please stop moving your head. I’ve had to do the same piece 3 times already.” She tuts at you. “And Eds, I’ve asked you how many times to watch your elbows, jesus christ.”

Eddie tries to cram in even tighter against the wall, keeping to the five tiny spots you’d all wrangled against the mirror. “Ay, I’m trying over here. It takes some effort to get all this together.” He smirks, running his fingers through his already perfectly coiffed hair. A shame really, that it would be utterly destroyed within 15 minutes of being on stage.

“Have we picked a city song for tonight yet? I want to go over it in my head a few times before we go on.” Lawrence calls out, trying to tug on a pair of pants that look a size or two too small for him.

The Limbs had taken to playing one song per show by a famous local artist from the city they were in. Since they only had the one album out, it was a chance to get the audience singing and moving together; to change up the pace. A modified tip from a certain mustached rock legend that the band had started to implement.

“I thought we decided on More Than A Feeling?” Eddie says as he tears his eyes away from his own reflection.

“That’ll be what they expect. I think Bun sounds better on My Best Friend’s Girl,” Rich says simply. He’s attempting some form of stretching routine in the back corner of the room, his extremities bumping up against the walls.

“So Y/N’s taking this one?” Steve asks, lounging across a small loveseat against the wall, his legs dangling off of it delicately. He looks up from whatever song he’s been working on.

“You heard what the label said. They want Y/N more center stage, so to speak, for marketing reasons.” Rich tries folding his body into some sort of pretzel shape. A light “oof,” escapes his lips as he falls backward slightly.

“Ah yes, we need to give the public what they want,” you huff, wanting to roll your eyes if not for Dawn covering your head in a cloud of Aqua Net.

Eddie starts pacing, or at least tries to, “I just don’t get why they’re trying to make her into some Debbie Harry.” He scoffs, “Like that’s ever gonna happen.”

Dawn glares at him. It was a bit of a low blow, but Eddie was still getting used to sharing the spotlight with you, with him singing lead on almost every other song.

You were still struggling to find your presence on stage and were more than happy to take a back seat to the boys for the most part. And while some of the band’s other singles were gaining traction, none were close to catching up to Heart of the Night, which was now getting steady airplay and record sales thanks to the absurd music video that hit TV screens everywhere a few weeks back.

“That’s true, Y/N’s much more of a Linda Ronstadt type if we’re throwing out names,” Lawrence grunts out. Finally able to close the button on his skin-tight pants.

A cold laugh erupts from Eddie. “Exactly. It’s the Eighties now if you haven’t noticed. It’s all about edgy sex appeal, and let’s be honest, even Steve has a better chance of-”

“Enough!” Dawn’s voice sliced through the air, the daggers thrown from her eyes flying towards him. She leans down to your level to examine her masterpiece. “You look as sexy as a goddamn playboy bunny, hun. No pun intended.” Her voice softens as she pinches your cheeks.

The room goes mostly quiet for the next few minutes as the local opening band starts to close out their set with their last two songs. Only Rich’s deep breathing, fitting in time to the beat.

You chew your cherry painted lips, mulling over Eddie’s words. You knew full well that you weren’t exactly the frontwoman the label or the public dreamed of. Hell, you weren’t even supposed to be a frontwoman at all. When you’d finally given in to Rich’s insistent pestering to come have some fun with the boys, you’d been at NYU for two years. You loved your film classes but felt the hole that was left from the absence of playing any type of music. In high school, you’d all show up to a party with a variety of instruments in your grasps. It almost always resulted in a crowd gathering around to listen, joining in with your voices, clicking their beer bottles in time with the beat. It was when you had felt most carefree, and you had ached for that feeling again.

But playing locally turned into recording an album, for which you wrote a song for some dream of a man that only existed in your thoughts. Next thing you knew you were scooped up by Columbia Records, missing classes to attend photoshoots or album release parties. People were listening to your voice, your song, and wanting more. You dropped out of college to the dismay of your parents but were immediately enveloped in your friends' glee, finally reaching the precipice of something they’d only dreamed of. You hated the thought of letting them down in any way but you couldn’t shake the feeling that it was all a fluke, that you had nothing else to give. Destined to fade out as a one-hit-wonder and a disappointment to your best friends in the world. The weight hit your shoulders as you slumped in your seat.

None of this was supposed to happen, you tell yourself. It never happens like this.

You’re broken out of your daze when there’s a rap at the door and a muffled “5 minutes” from the stage manager behind it. You all stand, waiting for Rich to spread his wings and engulf you in your usual pre-show pow wow. You slide Dawn in next to you in the now group of 6, needing someone steady as an anchor.

“If you’d please, Reverend.” Steve probes, cheekily.

“We’re gathered here today” Rich begins and Dawn giggles. “To bring immense joy to those 2,000 idiots out there, who so willingly sold out our show for us. They deserve a performance played to 200,000, so that’s what we’re going to give them. In the name of our fathers, John, George, Paul, and Ringo. Let’s go give em’ hell.”

“Amen!” you all shout and disband.

As you follow the boys into the dingy hallway leading to the stage, Eddie catches your wrist. He looks at you through his long lashes with an uncharacteristically shy smile that almost never sees the light of day.

“I’m sorry for being a prick, Bun. I shouldn’t have said all that,” he mutters as you continue to walk, not wanting to miss your cue.

“No worries, Eds. You were right though. I’m definitely no Debbie,” you force a chuckle at yourself while a roadie slips your guitar strap onto your shoulders.

“It’s not alright. And no, you’re not,” he says catching your downturned eyes. “You’re Y/N fucking L/N, and you’re just gettin’ started, baby. All you gotta do is take a little bit of the love we all have for you and give some to yourself once in a while, alright?” A grin forms, showing his adorably asymmetrical teeth as he reaches out a hand to ruffle your painstakingly perfected hair. “That’s better. Now let's get out there so you can show the world exactly what kind of frontwoman you are. And don’t be scared to show them a hint of Bunny while you’re at it.” You move your guitar out of the way to pull him in for a close hug. You hear Steve start banging his snare and pull Eddie on to the stage with you, feeling a bit lighter than you had been minutes ago.

You approach your mic and take a look out at the packed, hazy theater.

“Well hello, Bawston!’ Your accent rings out to the faceless figures before you. “Aren’t you all looking fuckin’ fabulous tonight!”

- - - - - - -

March 1982 - Musicland Studios, Munich

“No, I didn’t say it’s bad, just that it sounds tinny,” Brian argues, crossing his spidery arms over his chest as he leans against the doorframe.

“And it’s as if you’ve shoehorned Bowie in there just to mumble in the background incoherently. A waste, really.” Roger tacks on from beside him.

John sighs and leans his head against the back of the couch in the studio. “Just because it’s not your precious red special or your own magic fingers at work, doesn’t mean it’s tinny,” he counters calmly. Trying his best to keep the annoyance from seeping into his voice, knowing that Brian already had anger stemming from John’s earlier composition for the album.

It was the first time this week that all four men were in the studio together. Finishing up Hot Space was proving to be a strain on all of them and the growing rift had caused the men to nearly finish their songs separately instead of in their usual group dynamic. John’s experimentation into different styles, such as funk and disco, had not been willingly received thus far.

“Well, I sound rather fabulous, if I do say so myself. I’m very proud of us, Deacy.” Freddie states, getting up from his own place on the couch and stretching.

“It’s not that, Fred. It just doesn’t sound like us.” Brian sighs, already sensing the escalation of a row coming along.

“Oh please. Not this again...” Freddie huffs.

“That’s because it’s not us. It’s me and Freddie.” John cuts in with a roll of his eyes, landing them on Mack, their producer, who just shrugs and trains his gaze back to the board.

“That’s for sure.” Roger murmurs out. Now it’s John’s turn to cross his arms as he levels their pointed gazes. He’d worked with Fred for days putting together “Cool Cat,” hoping that the additional vocals from David Bowie would be a selling point for the other two.

With a clap of his hands, Freddie moves about the room. “Why don’t we take a quick break and then give it another listen?” Roger groans. Freddie pats his shoulder as he makes his way over to a radio beside Mack.

John rubs his tired eyes before pushing himself off the couch, eager for a break from the energy in the stale room. “I’m grabbing a coffee,” not offering one to the others as he brushes past Brian on his way out, quickly retreating down the hallway as fast as his legs will carry him.

The remaining three startle a bit as Freddie flips on the radio, Lo & The Limbs hit single pours from it, louder than expected.

“Oh! Oh, yes! Simply marvelous,” he exclaims, jumping up and down lightly. Roger and Brian raise their eyebrows in silent questioning. “This is the band of rascals I was telling you about the other week. They must’ve just broken out here.”

“The yanks you met while in the States?” Roger questions, turning his attention to the song, eager to judge any brimming competition.

“Yes, yes, the wild young lady who swears like the devil and her band of merry giant trees.”

“We have one of those!” Rog nods in Brian’s direction, voice muffled by a cigarette now dangling from his lips.

“Hm, Brain’s more of a willowy spruce, if you will. These ones are giant redwoods. You know American’s. And they have these thick New York accents. I could barely understand a word they were saying at first. What a riot they were.” he remembers fondly.

“I feel as if I’ve heard this before, but I can’t place it.” Brian ponders, almost to himself.

John appears in the doorway, blowing lightly on a steaming mug.

“Probably from that shocking video of theirs, darling,” Freddie waves his hands about. “Oh, you must’ve seen it. They’re all dressed up like they're in Grease or something, and this square of a girl is pinning after the bad boy. But he’s with this slutty little thing. And oh, I can’t recall the details, but in the end, she ends up murdering the slut!” He slaps the table for effect. “But for some odd reason the boy is okay with it all and they run off into the night together, covered in blood.”

“Sounds… spooky?” Roger shrugs. John stifles a chuckle.

“It’s dramatic! And sexy. And obviously working for them.” The wheels already turning in his head.

John tunes out their chatter and trains his ears to said song, which is about halfway through. The instrumentals seem a bit basic for his taste. The soft strum of an acoustic guitar, a slightly heavier electric over it, with a simple bass line. A female voice flits in.

Cool city moon lays its touch on the room,

Your eyes reach to me

It has a rasp to it. Akin to Stevie Nicks, he thinks.

Two shadows fall saying nothing at all,

We know what we need

No, not quite. It’s entirely it's own if he’s being honest. He can feel the soul pulsating through words and the power that’s beneath it. One that could probably fit with any genre it should choose. His interest peaked.

In the release, two prisoners are free from the darkness

One more escape surviving the heartache and madness

The raw emotion erupting from the speakers and the lyrics start to paint a picture in his mind, scrambling to fill in the faceless voice.

In the heart of the night

The chorus starts and picks up steam quickly. Male voices begin to fill in on background vocals, blending together seamlessly.

We run like bandits

Two hungry hearts under the gun

Her voice cracks a bit, in a charming way. It must be radiant when heard live.

In the heart of the night

When we find each other

Were stealing love on the run

In the heart of the night,

Heart of the night

A small smile plays on John’s lips as the song fades out. They’re good, he muses to himself, a bit intrigued by the song and Fred’s colorful description of the accompanying video.

“A great voice indeed. They’ve got a strong sound going.” Brian chirps up.

“That’s her first swing at writing, too. Wish it had been that bloody easy for us.”

“Is she a looker, Fred?” Roger wags his brows.

“Oh please, they’re practically babies! Although that drummer of theirs is certainly something to write home about… Even with the head of hair he has. A bit like a mushroom. A cute one.” Freddie ponders, stroking his full mustache.

John reaches up and pats the tight curls atop his own head, wondering how it would look if he ceased from trimming his current short perm.

“I do hope they catch on here. What fun that would be.” John readily nods along without realizing it.

Freddie switches off the radio and turns back to the other three men. “Alright back to it then. Queue it up, Mac,” placing a hand on the man’s shoulder and raising his eyebrows. “Shall we?”

- - - - - - -

March 1982 - Columbia Records, New York City

“Why are the undersides of my knees sweaty? I’m not a back of the knee sweat kind of guy, alright?” Lawrence fidgets, adjusting his collar for the fourth time in two minutes.

You casually gulp down your third glass of water while staring at the wood-paneled walls of the office. Attempting to avoid the gazes of a number of gold discs lining the walls, the echoes of your musical idols. They seem to be laughing at you.

Steve partakes in his trademark bouncing routine, the chair underneath him squeaking in a violent rhythm. “Do you think it’s the video? It has to be the video or we wouldn’t be in this office. I knew we shouldn’t have taken that big of a risk right out of the gate.”

“You gotta be kidding me. You basically doused yourself in the blood when Eddie pitched it!” Rich cuts in, his usual calm demeanor nowhere to be found.

“What! It was your idea for the--”

The door behind where the group is gathered swings open and in strides a stocky man with a full beard and tinted aviator sunglasses still covering his eyes.

“What are we all standing around for? Sit, sit, sit, c’mon.” His gruff Brooklyn accent ringing out as he moves to sit behind a large mahogany desk.

The Limbs scramble to fit on the couch across from him, with you ending up perched on the armrest, gripping Rich’s bicep for support.

The man, Walter Yetnikoff, CEO and Chairman of Columbia Records, grunts as he eases into a leather chair, finally removing his glasses, revealing surprisingly kind eyes, “Jeez louise, look at you kids. You look as if a nun just caught you all playing with each other’s junk. What’s with the faces?”

“Mr. Yetnikoff, we’d like to sincerely apologize for the backlash that has come from our video. We should’ve known better than that. We could’ve toned it down… a lot.” Eddie rushes out. He wipes his hand over his too-snug tailored pants, probably leftover from days of youth choir.

Walter barks out a laugh. “I’ll admit I was a little shocked to find out that’s what you needed a high school gym for, but relax a little, will ya? You’re not here to be scolded. If I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t have fought so hard to get it airtime.”

The Limbs visibly relax- a tad, but their eyes all stay wide.

“Well aren’t ya gonna ask why you’re all here then?”

“W-why are we here?” Rich asks quietly. “Sir.” He adds.

“It seems that the slight PR crisis of a video you made has made its way across the pond,” Walter smirks.

“You mean…” Steve trails off in a voice two octaves higher than usual.

“You kids better like air travel because there’s gonna be a lot of it in your near future. The hit has broken into the London airwaves and they’re not as god fearing as viewers here seem to be. We’re sending you over there next week now that you’ve wrapped up the tour.”

“Holy shit!” Lawrence yells. You feel yourself falling back off your perch as your large friends all jump to their feet. Rich’s gangly arm luckily catches you and pulls you immediately into a suffocating hug. “You did this, Bunny!” He screams in your ear. “You did this!”

“Alright, alright, you can all go celebrate and drink your faces off in a second,” Walter calls out over the group who immediately shut their mouths. “We have a few details to iron out but I’m hoping to send you over there for a full press tour. Photoshoots, interviews, talk show appearances. The works, you got it.”

Steve lets out a squeal of delight, his voice not yet returning to its usual bass.

“You.” He points a stubby finger in your direction. “I’m waiting to hear back about a last-minute cancelation on some game show out there. We’re gonna try to get you in. You know your shit?”

“W-what kind of shit, sir?” You ask from the bear hug that Rich still holds you in.

He holds up his hands, gesturing to the gold discs that surround him. “Music, my dear.”

All you can do is nod, not wanting to think about what that even entails.

“That’s what I like to see. Now get outta here so you can all combust somewhere outside of my office. We’ll call you in a few days. Get those bags ready, you hear me?” He waves you all off.

Before you have a chance to say anything, the boys are sweeping you out of the room. And off to the start of whatever comes next, you guess.

#queen fic #queen fanfiction #queen fanfic #john deacon #john deacon fic #john deacon imagine #john deacon x reader #john deacon series #deaky fic #deaky x reader #deacy fic #deacy x reader #angelofmydreams

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dailyaudiobible · 3 years

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09/01/2021 DAB Transcript

Job 40:1-42:17, 2 Corinthians 5:11-21, Psalms 45:1-17, Proverbs 22:14

Today is the 1st day of September welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian it is a joy and a privilege to be here with you today just like it is every day, but it's always nice on these brand-new beginnings. And here we are, throwing ourselves into a brand-new month. Today is the 244th day of the year which means it's the 244th time that we've been able to get together like this and do what we do, take the next step forward together and that next step forward will lead us back into the book of Job. And as we begin this month, we will conclude the book of Job today. And just reminding us, Job's been looking for God, trying to figure out where he could find an audience with God to plead his case. And God showed up yesterday and had unanswerable questions for Job. And God will continue to speak in today's reading as we conclude the book of Job. We’re reading from the New International Version this week. Job 40, 41, and 42 today.

Commentary:

Okay, so we…we concluded the book of Job today and let's remember that Job had an entire case prepared to present to God. He had a significant amount of questions to ask God. He had worked through some of those questions with his friends, but they had no answers and he…he didn't want their human wisdom because he knew what they were going to say. He wanted God to answer him. And then God showed up and started asking really big God sized questions and Job then realized he didn't actually have anything to say after all. And, so, when God is like, “okay, buddy. You got questions and you're spewing them out? Then let's play the game of questions.” And God asks questions that Job cannot answer while God reveals just how involved he is in all of the different aspects of the world. And in many ways this is what the text is leading us toward. There are always going to be questions. There are always bigger questions. There will always be things that we do not understand but when we come into the presence of God all of our pride and arrogance and all of the questions and all of the stuff that we’re going to say, it like…it's just…it’s gone. There’s nothing to say which is what Job said. He said I had only heard about you before, but now I see you and I don't have anything to say…like I put my hand over my mouth and shut up. So, it's interesting because it leaves us with some questions. Like when we find ourselves in a time or season of suffering do we need God to fix it or do we need God? Do we need the answers that we may or may not understand or do we need God? What the book of Job…Job leads us to conclude is that there is way more going on than we ever understand. We get very very self…self-absorbed, especially if we’re in trial, we’re in pain of some sort, we’re suffering in some sort of way, it becomes our obsession. It might even become our dark idol. It's the only thing we’re giving our energy to. It's the only thing we’re giving our life to, this pain-and-suffering and the questions that ensue and swirl around it. And, so, when we invite God into that we certainly invite Him into it, but the idea is that He would fix it. What if He's not gonna fix it? What if there's more going on than we understand? What if all of our questions would only lead to bigger questions that we could never answer? What Job discovers is that he wanted God and he wanted a conversation but when he got into the presence of God he didn't need that conversation anymore. And that's hard. It's really really hard to have that kind of perspective when suffering is upon us, but it’s not likely that we suffer the way Job suffered. And we watched the way that the story went. He…he met with tragedy. He met with morning and terrible suffering in his soul and body. He had questions. He talked to people, right? He got counseling. He was told all kinds of stuff he processed it all, but he still was in pursuit of God because, at least intuitively, he knew that the only person that could answer, the only person that could explain, the only person that held anything that he didn't already know would be God. And, so, he sought God but then in God's presence he realized he had only been operating on a working assumption. All of them had only been operating in a working assumption, like a theological framework about who God is and what God does. But in God's presence, what Job and his friends thought they knew…well…all the conventional wisdom as it turned out, was incorrect. So, the thing for us to contemplate is Job's response once he's in God's presence.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit we invite You into that. We've had all kinds of attitudes. You have seen and heard them all. You have listened to us flail around before You in Your presence all by ourselves. You've heard us talking about the things we’ve been suffering. We've acted like Job before. We’ve gotten all the counsel. We've listened all the answers. We've even dispensed the answers. We've been on both sides of the equation. And the book of Job, ancient as it is, is showing us that this rationale, this kind of way of doing things has been going on thousands and thousands and thousands of years and so we’re simply enmeshed in what we've always been doing is humanity, asking these questions. And we seek wisdom, and we seek answers but so often when we are faced with something that doesn't have an adequate answer, at least to our liking, we start blaming, we start accusing. And it was the accuser. And the accuser in the story of Job is Satan. We have no desire whatsoever to be playing that role. Forgive us. There's more going on than we know, and it is difficult for us to not have understanding and yet at that very point is where our faith begins. So, come Holy Spirit because we need Your comfort. We need Your guidance. We need Your direction. We need Your clarity. We need You. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

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And the Community section of the Daily Audio Bible is the place to get connected. There are links to the different places on social media where…where connections can be made. The Prayer Wall lives in the Community section as well. And man, we talk about the Prayer Wall several times a week just as a reminder because this is a place that's part of the Global Campfire community that we are, a place that is always on and we can always reach out for prayer, but we can always pray for one another. There is no shortage of need in the world or in this community. But within this community we…we have the Prayer Wall, and we can go and pray for one another and respond, and it makes a world of difference to know that others are praying for you. And, so, Prayer Wall is a fantastic vehicle for that. So, check it out.

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Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello DAB family this is Anne from Arizona, and it is August the 27th. I am so encouraged to hear Gigi call in and talk about how she's come to the realization that God brought her through these things, through Lyme disease, through all these things that she was going through and that He's a good good father. Be encouraged. As Psalm 95 says oh come let us sing to the Lord. Let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation. Let us come into His presence with Thanksgiving. Let us make a joyful noise to Him with songs of praise for the Lord is a great God and a great king above all gods. God is a good good father. God is great. God is worthy of our praise. He's worthy of our trust. Be encouraged that God is good and that God sees you and hears you. I'm so encouraged, and it gives me so much hope just to hear those words of encouragement from Gigi. Be...

Hi Daily Audio Bible family I wanted to call in for two things today. One is to say thank you to Sparky. I've just listened to the Aug 27th podcast and just loved hearing Sparky's encouragement of how God has changed his life, brought transformation, brought him to be doing a master’s degree when that was something that was just so seems so impossible in the past and how He's brought new life and New Hope. Thank you for sharing that Sparky it really encouraged me, touched my heart and I just think you've got a really powerful story there of God's goodness. So, bless you and I pray God's blessing on your studies and God's blessing on your marriage. And second thing I wanted to ask for is your prayers everyone as I am heading back to England. I've lived in the US for six years and really loved it. Over the past twelve months though I've…I've sensed God's prompting to move back and so I am. So, next week I'm relocating back to England and as you can imagine there's…there’s always lots to do. There's places to live and jobs to find church communities to become part of. So, we'd love your prayers for…for all of that process and for me to no God’s peace and God's provision on the journey. And I'm excited that I'm going to continue to be part of the Daily Audio Bible family. So, I'll be listening, I'll be praying, and you'll sometimes hear from me as well. But I'll become Ben the Brit from Brighton instead of end the Brit…

Hi everyone, it’s Shana your sister from South Dakota. I just wanted to call and offer some encouragement to the dad from Duluth. You see, I was an IV drug addict, alcoholic, pothead, smoker relationship addict among other things, a liar, a cheat, a thief. I really ran my parents through the wringer for over a decade with my behaviors and being in and out of jail. And my mom even had all the jails within a certain distance of our hometown on speed dial. I've been in prison. I…with my last child didn't tone down my partying and my using. Thank God he's a healthy boy. He's now almost 10 years old. But the Lord can heal. He can take away that compulsion to use and I know that without a doubt in my life today and I know it's because of the prayers that came from those that loved me. I'm in school working on my bachelors in counseling. I have one year left. I have a pretty good GPA. I am married now. Crazy! I have relationships with all my children. And I was even given the gift of my parents before they passed away in this last year, some time with them seeing me living right. You and your daughter are in my prayers. It will be done. I believe that. Bye everybody.

Good hot day to you all. I was just listening to the August 27th version of the DAB, and I just wanted to give some shout outs. This is People on the Water from Indiana. First GG from gville my heart is jumping with joy. You said…you talked about the account found in the gospel where the paraplegic was brought by what was it three friends into Jesus so that he could be healed. It was the faith of the friends that brought the healing, that brought healing to the friend. And it was through Jesus that all of that happened. And honestly just your child, your baby, that's your baby. I am so grateful that you see it that way. And the beautiful words that you’d spoken over us, it just sounded like poetry to me and that was just really encouraging. Dana from South Carolina, you're a first-time caller and you're praying for someone who is praying for someone. Like that's just awesome and I'm just lifting up that prayer for that Lady who is in pain and for the lady who lost her son that God walks us through this. And then Mandy from Georgia just talking about how God uses our history, how God uses our history in order to deal with us in our future. I mean God uses our history. God uses our __ in our past to express love in unique and fun ways. And then Sarah from London finishes, “there is nothing too big for our God.” And I'm going to leave that with you. I love you all. And thank you for all that you are doing. In Jesus’ name I pray, and I ask. Amen.

Hey family this is Eyes of a Dove here. I just wanted to jump on and record a quick thank you message to all my friends on the DAB Facebook. The last 24 hours has been the most intense experience as a parent and coparent I think Billy and I have ever dealt with. Izzy went to youth group last night. She was in her mother's custody and instead of attending youth group with my three children she grabbed another young girl who struggles with transgender stuff and the two of them hung out in Snoqualmie all over the town. But Izzy never came home to her mom. So, I queued in her mom that Izzy was missing, and we were unable to locate Izzy until this morning at 8:30 AM. We had the church leadership and pastor staff, we had the police officers and ourselves, all of us scouring the woods and all over the town. And in the morning, she contacted us with a real prideful condescending kind of irritation with us and when she finally made it home, she concocted quite a few lies that it was everyone else's fault that no one was at the church to get her. It was her only option, and it wasn't. So, any who…just asking you guys if you see this message, I'm sure it's already happened but we're heading over to the biological mom’s home. Just pray that I stay peaceful, and I button my mouth and allow those parents to do their parenting and help me to be a prayer intercessor for those two parents as they mitigate their rebellious daughter. And Father I ask that you would enter into Izzy's heart father that she would come to know you and set aside the things of the world that trouble her and give her anxiety and cause her to be selfish Lord and help her to understand other people's feelings and to make right and healthy choices. Thank you, friends for supporting us.

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spaceskam · 4 years

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our fainted thrill carries on (5/13)

next chapter of my season 2 fix it!

ao3

“I can’t believe you were being a goddamn Peeping Tom at 3 in the morning at Flint Manes of all people. He’s not, like, ugly, but you can definitely do better.”

Kyle shook his head as he entered the motel room Cam was staying at, already yanking his notebook out of his bag. He dropped onto her bed and flipped it open to the page where he’d drawn the symbol from Jesse Manes’ hip.

“I wasn’t peeping for fun, look at this,” Kyle said. Cam sat beside him. “This is the tattoo that both Jesse Manes and Flint Manes have. I didn’t have a chance to check, but I would put money on the fact that at least one of Alex’s other brothers has it too.”

“What does it mean?” she asked.

“That’s the thing, I don’t actually know,” he told her, “There’s just something about it that’s off to me. It’s a combination of the male symbol and the Neptune symbol, which is three, like the trident, so I’m thinking it’s three men, right? Well, when Alex was talking to his dad earlier, he mentioned something called M.V.C.”

“Which is…?”

“Again, I don’t know.”

“You’re coming here with a lot of missing information.”

“Yes, but,” Kyle said, “I have theories.”

She eyed him before leaning a bit closer to get a good look at the symbol. It was a long shot, but he figured another brain might help piece shit together more. Besides, she was smart and thought like Alex without all of the daddy issues.

“So, originally, I was thinking that maybe it was just three different guys, but now I’m thinking it’s three different generations. Like, the generations of Manes Men that are hunting aliens or whatever. And it’s more symbolic that three actual generations, it’s more of like ‘my father, me, my son’ type of deal. I have no way of seeing if Jesse Manes’ father had one, but the one on his hip looks aged enough that I wouldn’t be surprised if his father did it himself when he was, like, 15.”

“Jesus.”

“I mean, think about it, Jesse having a seriously controlling father would explain why he is the way he is,” Kyle said. He knew she didn’t know all the details about Alex’s relationship with his father, but she knew enough. “And the reason why Alex didn’t get roped in is because he showed early on that he was rebellious and it took more than intimidation to instill conformity.”

“Okay, nice theory, but I think that might be a stretch? Like, I think you’re trying to fit what you know about Cap and his dad into the box of what you think the tattoo means. What if it’s something completely different and you’re just veering really far off track?” Cam said. Kyle smiled at her and, if she wasn’t capable of killing him, he probably would’ve done something stupid like thank her for having a brain.

“Yes, absolutely! I am too wrapped up in this theory and I’m trying to prove it right rather than trying to find objective information,” Kyle said, “Which is where you come in.”

“I’m listening.”

“Thursday night, we’re having like a group dinner at Max’s, so I’ll know where everyone is and know that they’re safe. Do you think you can do some sleuthing in that time to see what you can find?” Kyle asked. Her face hardened and she leaned away from him.

“By sleuthing, do you mean seducing Flint Manes?” she asked cooly. Kyle immediately shook his head, though now that she mentioned it, it did sound like a good idea.

“I mean, not necessarily,” he said. Cam fixed him with a look.

“I’ll look into things, but I’m not sleeping with Cap’s brother,” she said. Kyle nodded easily.

“Absolutely, I just need fresh eyes and ideas," he told her. She nodded, reaching over to the nightstand and grabbing her phone. She took a picture of the symbol.

"I'll keep you updated. Now go home and go the fuck to sleep because you look like you haven't slept in 24 hours."

He didn't have the heart to correct her that it was 36.

"Michael fucking Guerin!"

Michael slowly smiled at the sound of Alex's voice as he climbed out of the shower. He wrapped a towel around his hips and grabbed another one to dry his hair, throwing the bathroom door open. He sauntered to the kitchen where Alex was doing laundry. The washing machine and dryer were really out of place there, but Alex had rigged them up all by himself and who was Michael to judge.

"You called?"

Alex whipped around, totally unphased by Michael's level of nudity. That felt more worthwhile than when he got flustered. This… this was fucking normal. How cool was that?

"What is this?" Alex demanded, shoving his jeans in Michael's direction, "Is that wood glue?"

Michael took it from him and gently scratched the rough, dull-colored patch on the fabric.

"Yeah, looks like it."

"You are a mechanic. What are you doing with wood glue? Why are you messing with wood glue when you're wearing my jeans? Stop ruining my jeans!"

“Relax,” Michael laughed, grabbing them out of his hands, “You got vinegar? That’ll usually get it out.”

Alex just continued to glare at him and Michael took a bold step forward, tilting his head in a slightly cocky manner. He licked his bottom lip and watched as Alex’s irritation slowly melted, his shoulders dropping. Not for the first time that week, he thought about kissing him, but he held off. That was a bad idea and they both knew it.

“Go put vinegar on it and then get dressed,” Alex told him, stepping to the side to go find a pair of not-stained jeans. Before Michael could catch himself, he grabbed his arm and leaned close. Alex couldn’t even hide his smile as he did so, still trying to force a glare. “What do you want?”

“Don’t be mad at me, please,” Michael said as softly as he could, pouting slightly and batting his eyelashes. Alex rolled his eyes and pulled out of his grasp.

“Dry off, you heathen,” Alex laughed. Michael watched as he headed to the bedroom and took a deep breath before he turned to put that section of his jeans in a bowl of vinegar.

It was weird to think that this was the most stable they’d ever been for the longest amount of time. Tonight would make it a full week of sleeping in the same bed, spending all their free time together, learning more about each other than they ever had. Michael didn’t realize just how much he didn’t know about Alex. Sure, maybe he still hadn’t mentioned that piece, but it was hard to be mad by that when Alex was right there and laughing through a story about a time in France where he accidentally walked in on his past CO getting off to a Lady Gaga music video and had been sworn to secrecy, but Michael was an exception.

Soon enough, they were in Michael’s truck, carpooling to Max’s house. He shouldn’t have felt so fucking giddy about going to his dead brother’s house for some pseudo-family dinner, but he was. It helped that Alex’s jeans hugged his thighs and Alex was right there, humming along to the radio.

“Oh, so, just a warning, Liz is probably going to ask you about what’s going on between us,” Michael warned, “Maybe Isobel too, but most likely Liz.”

“Why?” Alex asked slowly.

“Because she thinks I’m, like, leading you and Maria on or something. But I’m not, right? Like, you don’t think that’s what I’m doing, do you?” Michael clarified. Alex instantly shook his head.

“We’re literally trying to revive a dead alien and trying to track down whatever my dad’s bullshit is, who has time for maintaining a romantic relationship?” he said.

“Exactly!” Michael scoffed. Alex huffed a small little laugh that was so much cuter than it had any right being.

“She hasn’t talked to me about it,” Alex admitted, tapping against his leg to the rhythm of the song playing on the radio, “Actually, neither of them have really talked to me at all about anything.”

“Wait, for real?” Michael asked, “You’re giving Liz a space to do all of her experimentings and she doesn’t even talk to you?” Alex shrugged like it didn’t matter. But it did. Michael was the first to admit he was shit at maintaining friendships, but Liz and Maria always claimed Alex was their best friend. They took care of each other, he was one of theirs.

But did that only apply for when they needed something?

“It’s fine.”

“Well, I mean, it’s just weird. Like, she acted like she’d talked to you about it like she was scared that you were gonna get hurt,” Michael explained, “Not that I’d ever hurt you on purpose like that again, by the way.” Alex snorted.

“Liz and I have never, and I mean never, talked about my love life. Which is fine, there’s not much to tell, but still, she’s never once acted like she was concerned about what the two of us are doing while cohabiting,” Alex said. Michael took his bottom lip between his teeth. Cohabiting. “And Maria and I used to talk about it, but that stopped once she found out it was you I had a history with. Then… after she came over, we haven’t really talked at all. Which is my fault too, I haven’t reached out.”

“I’m sorry I fucked things up between you two,” Michael said, glancing over at him. He had his head against the window, staring at the passing desert with interested eyes. It was just like he’d done when they were young and Michael didn’t know how to process that.

“No, we didn’t exactly try. One day I’ll talk to her. I sort of have to get up the courage because I feel bad about the way I acted,” Alex admitted. Michael huffed a laugh.

“Same,” he said, “I was probably worse.”

“I would say we could go apologize to her together, but I think she might get the wrong idea if we’re within 50 feet of each other,” Alex said, biting back a laugh, “I did corrupt your straight white boy ass, you know.”

Michael shook his head with a laugh. “Cute.”

“Well, that’s what she thinks. Or, a lot of people think,” Alex said, “What is your percentage anyway? Like, a lot of bi people have a percentage or something, not always 50/50.”

“Yeah, see, I don’t fucking know,” Michael admitted. Alex actually laughed this time and Michael just smiled. He really didn’t know. He thought he was pretty 50/50, but it was hard to really conceptualize that on a human level. He guessed he could make a list of everyone he’d slept with and base it off of that, but even that felt skewed because most of the time he’d had pretty limited options in Roswell. If he counted everyone he’d been attracted to, though, that felt like an even harder thing. Did famous people count? Cartoons? At the end of the day, who really held a candle to Jessica Rabbit? “I just act on how I feel in the moment. But you aren’t the only man I’ve hooked up with if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Oh yeah?” Alex asked, “Who else?”

“Okay, it was only one other guy and it was just, like, giving head in the bathroom of a club, but still. You didn’t make me queer, you just made me know it was okay,” Michael said. Alex was quiet and when Michael glanced over at him, he saw him staring at him with that look. The one with the half-lidded eyes and the parted lips and his head tilted back. It had his stomach doing flips. “What?”

“Nothing,” Alex hummed, leaning forward to turn the radio up. Misery Business by Paramore was playing, still in it’s first few chords as if Alex had just sensed it was on.

“You can’t just ignore me for Hayley Williams,” Michael laughed. Alex cranked it up louder, the speakers thudding as the instruments kicked in. “Really?”

“I’m in the business of misery, let’s take it from the top,” Alex sang, leaning in instead of answering. Michael just rolled his eyes and joined in until they were both headbanging and scream-singing at the windshield. It felt good. Everything else in the world paled in comparison to just that.

He was almost sad as they pulled up to Max’s house.

Alex was not at all surprised when Rosa flew out of the door and immediately latched onto him as they walked up.

“Oh, thank god, save me.”

He laughed easily, wrapping her in a hug. He’d promised to see her more often, but he hadn’t really been making good on that promise. It was a problem that he definitely was going to put more effort into fixing. She was one of the only ones he could even tolerate at this point.

“Is it that bad?” Michael asked with a smile. Rosa looked over at him with a slightly judgy look in her eye, but he didn’t seem to take offense to it. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Can I move in with you for, like, a week?” she begged, “If I have to be locked alone or with Liz or with Isobel for any more time, I am going to lose it. It’s only been, like, a month.” Alex looked over to Michael and raised an eyebrow in question. Michael held up his hands.

“Hey, it’s your house. If you want a guest, don’t let me stop you,” he said.

“Mm,” Alex hummed in response. Michael flashed him a warm smile and then let himself inside the door, leaving Rosa and Alex alone.

She waited until the door closed and they were, for the most part, out of earshot before pulling away. The look on her face was nothing short of intrigued and he was again filled with an old sense of belonging. Maybe he would let her stay for a while. Lately, Michael had been giving him that same welcome feeling, so why not add more to the mixture? It made him feel good.

“So, are you gonna tell me what’s going on or am I going to have to slowly pull it out of you?” she asked. A confused smile fond his face and he tilted his head.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb, Alex,” she said, pouting her lips as she teased him, “Amor está en el aire.”

“Stop,” he warned despite her dramatic tone bringing a smile to his lips.

“Or should I say lust.”

“That would be even further away,” Alex laughed, looking up to double-check that no one was hanging outside the door and then casually scoping the rest of the perimeter that he could see, “We’re just friends.”

“Mhm,” Rosa hummed, crossing her arms and popping her hip out to the side as she judged him, “And there’s no residual feelings?”

“Okay, I didn’t say that,” Alex said, trying ignoring the way his cheeks started to burn, “But we’re just not in a place for that and, honestly, things are better right now than they’ve ever been between us. I’m not going to fuck with that especially when we’re still not done handling things with my dad.”

“When will you ever be done with your dad, though, Alex? Because even after he’s dead, he’s still going to haunt you and we all know it,” Rosa said bluntly. Alex’s smile dropped easily and he shifted his weight. “I don’t want you putting off your happiness for something that’ll never go away.”

“It’s not that,” he said, but he paused, “Well, it’s a little bit that. But mostly we’re just still in the thick of it, it’d be stupid.”

“Is that it or are you just scared to ask for what you want?” Rosa pressed. He scoffed.

“You’re just going in deep aren’t you?”

“That’s what I’m here for,” she grinned, “No, but, for real, can I stay with you?”

“Depends, are you going to mock me for sharing a bed with him?”

Rosa’s eyes went wide and she scoffed, her jaw-dropping dramatically.

“I swear, if I could go back and tell baby Alex that he’d be sharing a bed with the boy he’s in love with, he’d tell me I was a liar.”

“If you told baby Alex a lot of things that are going on right now, he’d tell you you were a liar,” he laughed, “Let’s go inside and I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Okay, you harlot.”

“There it is.”

Isobel gave him that look that told Michael that he was in trouble.

“Oh, what the hell did I do this time?” he asked.

She looked over to where Kyle and Liz were cooking before grabbing his arm, pulling him down the hall and sufficiently into Max’s bedroom. They both unintentionally upturned their noses at how much Liz and Rosa had just made it their own space. It was jarring no matter how much they understood that she had the full right to do so. Eventually, Isobel shifted her attention back to him.

“How are you?”

Michael blinked at her for a moment in confusion. “Huh?”

A small pout overcame her face and she sighed, “I’ve been spending a lot of time with Rosa and Liz and it’s come to my attention that I may have been a shitty sister. We used to act like them, or something, but now I feel like we’ve just drifted apart without Max. Which I have no excuse for because I can feel you a lot more now. You feel… better.”

Michael was hesitant to smile as he watched her. This felt like one of those conversations that was going to veer off into the other direction, but right now… Right now, she looked sincere. So sincere that he pulled her into a hug and she clung right back. He hadn’t realized how much he missed her.

“Catch me up, what have I missed,” she urged, grabbing his hands and sitting them both on the bed, “I’ll go first so you don’t think I’m hounding you. I donated a few grand of Noah’s money to a woman’s shelter, I have been really good at being nice to both Ortecho sisters, and I’ve been working with Arturo to make a name for the Crashdown online whenever I’m not working on my powers or, like, my actual job. Your turn.”

Michael very quickly realized he had nothing for show and tell. He simply went to work, helped them at the lab, checked on Max, and went home to Alex, repeat. What was brag-worthy about that?

“I don’t really have anything to update you on,” Michael said. Isobel rolled her eyes.

“You are significantly less stressed than you were even last week,” she said, “What changed since then?”

He didn’t know how to answer without sounding stupid. Open honesty with Alex had suddenly cured his soul? Well, it wasn’t that. He couldn’t even really articulate what exactly had caused him to feel like this.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, shrugging, “Alex just likes having me around and we talk about things. We never used to do that before, it feels good.” Isobel gave him a tiny smile, like she knew something he didn’t.

“You’re really happy with him?”

“We’re not, like, together or anything. I don’t want that right now, we’re just good like we are. But I… I can’t describe why it’s so good right now.”

“Because it’s unconditional,” Isobel said, voice soft and eyes glassy. She didn’t usually give him that look or speak to him like that. They were usually playful, but she looked serious. He wondered if it had anything to do with Max not being around. “You’re finally feeling unconditional love.”

Michael swallowed hard as she just said it out loud. It felt like a good descriptor, honestly. He felt wanted and needed, but in a way that meant he could also want and need right back and it wouldn’t result in failure. Because Alex trusted him enough to call him when he needed him even after all the bullshit, he didn’t kick him out when he ruined his jeans, he didn’t yell at him for not understanding, he only kept one secret. Alex had said open and he’d thrown himself all in.

But now that she said it out loud, it sounded terrifying.

“Okay, you look like you’re going to throw up,” Isobel said, sniffling, “Sorry, I’m just, like, feeding off your emotions and you just… you feel really safe. I’ve never felt that from you before and I didn’t realize. I’m sorry I didn’t realize you’ve never felt safe, Michael.”

“It’s okay,” he said, still trying to process it for himself. Is this really what it was supposed to feel like all the time?

“No, it’s not. I’ve been a shitty sister.”

“I’ve been a shitty brother.”

Isobel just rolled her eyes and pulled him into another hug, one that lasted a little longer than the one before. He sighed easily against her shoulder, closing his eyes as he relaxed in her grasp. He missed her so much.

“So, are you guys back together?”

“What? No.”

The sweet moment ended when she slapped his shoulder.

“So, um, your dad,” Liz said, scraping her fork against the plate.

When Alex had suggested this whole thing so he could get a feel on how Liz was coping, he had stupidly thought that maybe, just maybe, it would feel normal. They were all friends, all of them close and reliant on each other. And yet it was fucking awkward.

“Right,” Alex said, clearing his throat and putting his fork down, “So, we’re pretty sure he’s up to something on a deeper level. There’s something called M.V.C. that I’ve been trying to look into, but I’m not finding anything yet. I don’t know if I’m just looking in the wrong places or what, but, that being said, I think we all need to be careful.”

“I’m already being careful,” Liz told him. Alex nodded once.

“I know, I’m saying we need to be extra cautious,” Alex went on, “My brothers are in town and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that they’re tied up in this shit. With Max being gone and us focusing on that, it makes everyone a little more vulnerable.”

“Us?” Liz asked, tone still clipped, “No, it’s me and Isobel and Michael working on Max.”

Alex blinked and refused to show any emotion, trying to figure out what exactly was going on. He knew that Liz wasn’t exactly his biggest fan right now‒God knows why‒but he wasn’t sure why she was being rude. He’d given her a lab and they were supposed to be friends, and yet it seemed to stop there. They didn’t talk. They didn’t do anything. How much was that for friendship?

“Anyway,” Kyle jumped in, “Right now, Jenna is looking into Flint and Jesse to see if she can get any separate information that we aren’t getting.”

Alex took the moment of attention being taken off of him to look over for some strength to keep his mind on track. He didn’t want to let whatever Liz felt towards him distract him from why he was here. He locked eyes with Rosa who raised her eyebrows and tilted her head just enough to say you got this. He wasn’t sure she even knew what she was supporting him to do, but she did it anyway without any hesitation. He loved her for that.

“Wait, Jenna’s back in town?” Isobel asked.

“Yeah,” Kyle answered, “And she’s giving me updates, but so far Flint isn’t budging. Apparently, he’d been warned about her.”

“Back up, you told her about everything with Max?” Liz asked. Kyle eyed her and then gave Alex a look that said ‘see?’. Alex’s eyes drifted to Isobel and then Michael, both of them looking like they didn’t belong in the conversation, then to Rosa who was trying to hype him up to get on topic. “Because that is not your business to tell.”

“Liz, you know you can trust us, right?” Alex said, “Because it feels like you think you’re on you’re own.”

“Is that right? Because the only one helping me with Max is Michael and Isobel,” Liz argued, “You and Kyle aren’t helping.”

“Liz, I am helping, I’m just trying to also deal with Project Shepard stuff,” Kyle said softly. Liz shook her head, clearly irritated with him saying that. Alex furrowed his eyebrows.

“Liz, my father is an actual threat,” Alex told her, “We don’t even know if Max has a chance. His heart is shredded. Can he even be revived, Liz? Honestly, can he? Or is this just false hope to distract you from mourning him?”

Liz stared at him with a look that was so distinctly Rosa that it was jarring. She shoved her chair back and got to her feet, abandoning the table. They all sat quietly for a moment before Rosa pushed back her chair. Alex shook his head.

“I got it,” he said. Michael caught his eye, seeming a little too serious as he stared at him. That’d be the next thing he dealt with.

Alex followed Liz to the bedroom and found her standing there like she was preparing for a fight, face hardened and eyes set on him the moment he walked through the door. He took a moment to prepare himself as he shut the door behind him.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Alex,” she said as soon as the latch clicked in place.

“The science part? No, you’re right, I don’t. But I do know that you’re being more than a little irrational. What happens if it doesn’t work? Is Max even getting better at all?”

“Nothing exponential yet, but it’s something! It’s only been a month, Alex! We’re not going backward and that’s all I need to know that I can fix this!”

“Okay, and if you do fix it, then what happens? If you manage to resurrect him, then what? Because with the way you’re acting, I’m failing to see how you’re aren’t going to get some sort of power high from resurrecting someone.”

“The way I’m acting? Who are you, my dad? I’m just doing what’s right! He died to bring Rosa back, it’s my job to bring him back!”

“Is it, though? It’s not like you asked him to bring her back.”

“It doesn’t matter! I love him!” she yelled, tears brimming her eyes, “I love him and I hate him! He didn’t even ask me and he, he just left me as soon as I had something good! This can’t be the end of it!”

Things clicked in Alex’s head then and he took a step forward, holding his hands out so she could see them clearly.

“I know,” he said, “I know how it feels to lose someone just when it gets good.”

“Oh, screw you, Alex, you don’t know how I feel. You can’t compare your stupid little affair in high school to this,” Liz spat. He nodded even though it rubbed him the wrong way.

“You’re right, it’s not the same,” he agreed, “But pushing everyone away isn’t going to help, and being in denial isn’t going to help either. You need to mourn and you need your friends.” Liz shook her head and took a step away from him.

“No, what I need is Kyle and Michael to focus on helping me instead of being at your every beck and call,” she told him. Alex let his hands drop, his eyebrows furrowing. “They’re the only ones who can help me and you’re just capitalizing their time.”

“You’re… mad at me for having friends? You lost me,” Alex said. Liz groaned, throwing her head back and wiping her head.

“I’m not mad at you for having friends, I’m mad that,” Liz said, stopping herself as she gathered her thoughts, “I’m mad that…”

“That things aren’t going your way?” Alex filled in, “That things aren’t like they used to be? That I’m not just going to fold and back away and let you and Maria walk all over me and take everything?”

Liz scoffed, “We did not walk all over you.”

“Okay, maybe not, but you were definitely put first. Hell, you still are on some level. I know you don’t get it, but if I avoid my father, it won’t matter if you can bring Max back or not. We’re all fucked. We’re breaking rules to accommodate you and Michael and Kyle are doing all that they can to help you even if you don’t see it,” Alex explained, “And, look, I know you don’t like me anymore, but I do still care about you and it’s worrying me that you aren’t thinking clearly.”

“What?” Liz sighed, looking at him like he’d lost it, “What do you mean I don’t like you?”

“I’m not stupid, Liz. You call me your friend because we used to be, but actions speak louder than words.”

“Oh, but that doesn’t apply to you?”

“Excuse me?” Alex asked. She gave him a look like he should know what she meant, but he had no idea.

“You know that Michael has no idea what he wants and you’re still playing house with him,” she said, “I know you aren’t stupid, Alex, which is what I’m not getting. Why are you letting him in your house like that when you know he’s just trying to fuck you and Maria over? I like him, I do, and I know he’s charming, but he doesn’t care about anything but himself, Max, and Isobel at the end of the day. He is just like Max but even more destructive and all you’re doing is enabling him to hurt more people.”

Her words hit Alex like a blow to the stomach. He physically took a step back, trying to follow her ridiculous train of thought.

“Don’t talk about something you know nothing about,” Alex breathed, shaking his head. She gave him a truly pitiful look like he was the one who should feel bad.

“I know enough.”

“Do you?” Alex scoffed, “Do you know that I love him? That he loves me? That I have spent over a decade keeping him safe and I am not about to stop now? Maybe that makes me a fucking dumbass, but I know what I’m getting myself into with him. He’s not trying to fuck Maria over, he’s trying to learn how to take care of himself before he dives into something. He is doing better than I have ever seen him and I’m not going to take that away because you don’t understand. And he is not like Max. Just because your little alien is murderous and self-righteous, doesn’t mean mine is. And, for God’s sake, don’t act like this is about Michael when it’s about me.”

Liz stared at him, his words slowly but surely sinking in. He waited and stared without faltering. He realized a little bit more about the benefits of having Michael Guerin staying in his house. After this was over, he didn’t have to be alone. After this, he was going to go home and curl up against his chest and listen to him breathe and be held until he fell asleep. That would make up for this.

“You’re in love?” she asked. Alex rubbed his hands over his face.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, “What matters is you think I’m sabotaging things by going after my dad and monopolizing Michael’s time. That isn’t what’s happening and I don’t know how to make you realize that.”

Liz stared at him, those frustrated tears coming right back.

“I don’t know who you are anymore, Alex,” she admitted, “Everyone’s changed since we were kids, but you’re a completely different person. I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to handle that on top of everything else.”

That stung, but Alex knew it was fair. He was still trying to see himself too.

“Okay,” Alex said, “Then I’ll make time to work closer with you.”

“What?”

“That’s the problem, right? You’re struggling to trust me, but we’re both the ones discovering the most information about this shit. We should be working together,” Alex decided, “Then maybe you can re-get to know me.”

“Okay.”

“You need friends, Liz,” he told her, “Or you’re going to break.”

Liz took a deep breath and nodded, wiping away her tears.

“Okay.”

“I got the glue out of your jeans.”

“Thanks.”

Alex was already curled up in bed and rubbing his temples by the time Michael came into the bedroom. He was tired and hadn’t really talked to anyone since he argued with Liz. His skin felt too tight and he was irritable and he felt even worse when he realized Michael was feeding off his negativity. He’d been in a good mood before dinner.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as Michael quietly checked the closet and behind the curtains for him before shutting off the lights.

“You’re okay,” Michael said. Alex shut his eyes as the bed shifted and he waited for Michael to reach for attention like he usually did. Except he didn’t. “Hey, uh… Do you really think we won’t be able to bring Max back?”

Alex curled in on himself a little more. Right.

“I don’t know. I just want you all to be prepared.”

“Yeah.”

Micahel was quiet for a few minutes, long enough that Alex started thinking he was angry at him. Alex almost apologized a handful of times, longing to be forgiven for something he wasn’t actually sorry for. He just didn’t want to push him away, he didn’t want to be annoying, he didn’t want to be a problem.

“Hey, Alex?” Michael said. Alex let out an unexpectedly heavy breath and he cursed himself for it. “Is there anything important you haven’t told me? Like, alien wise?”

Alex was instantly bombarded with documented torture he’d kept a secret, filmed dissections he’d hidden, videos of his mother trying to sweet talk guards that hit her or worse in response that he’d lied about, and that stupid piece of the ship that scared him more than anything. They were all stupid and small and out of Alex’s control in the grand scheme of things, but they were big and scary on their own. What if Michael stopped feeling safe? What if Michael left?

“No,” Alex said, “I’ve told you everything.”

Michael was silent again for a few seconds. Alex waited for him to call him out for being a liar, to call him out for being annoying and not the guy he actually loved. If Liz didn’t see him as himself, why should Michael?

Except then the mattress creaked as he shifted and slowly Michael’s arms encircled his torso. He exhaled in relief as Michael pressed up behind him, fitting against his form effortlessly. They fit together so well sometimes it hurt him. But he pressed his warm nose behind Alex’s ear and held him tight, using his body heat and willpower to shoo away all his bad feelings.

“You’re the strongest man I know, you know that, right?” Michael told him softly, “I trust you more than anyone in this entire galaxy.”

Alex didn’t know how to say he wasn’t worthy of that title. So he didn’t.

“It’s okay,” Michael added even softly, his voice hardly even making a sound at this point, “It’s okay to be sad. We all need a little help sometimes.” The words were Alex’s, but they fit in his mouth like they belonged there.

Alex’s body was flooded with emotion, that overwhelming feeling of everything coming for him and forcing tears to his eyes. None fell and he kept his eyes closed, but he knew more than ever that he loved him.

He loved him so much it hurt.

“Did you find anything?”

“Um, I think you should sit down.”

Kyle furrowed his eyebrows but did as Cam instructed and sat on her motel bed. He’d been spending a lot of time there the last few nights, usually after shifts so they could talk about theories. Right now, though, he was just drained from a very uncomfortable dinner.

“Did Flint tell you something?”

“No,” she said slowly, sitting beside him with a file in her hand. She kept it to her chest so he couldn’t see it until she wanted him too. “He was a dead-end and visiting hours with Jesse are over. He gets out of the hospital in a few days though, which you knew, and I plan to speak with him then. But I started thinking about it and I looked into something else.”

“And you found something?”

“Yeah,” Cam confirmed, eying him hesitantly, “I don’t think it’s three generations.”

“Oh?” Kyle said. Slowly, she pulled the file from her chest and held it in front of them, opening it to see the same tattoo on a brown-skinned hip. He grabbed onto the file.“Who is this?”

“Don’t freak out.”

He looked over to her in confusion. “Why would I freak out?”

“I was thinking about it and I was trying to think who was just as involved with aliens as Jesse Manes,” she said, “So I started searching through old military records and a lot of them had either pictures or descriptions of their tattoos, stuff to identify soldiers by if worse came to worst. We got lucky that the Valenti’s clearly have no problem with their bare ass being in a picture.”

Kyle’s eyes widened involuntarily as he realized what she was saying. And it definitely wasn’t generational. Instead, it was starting to look a lot more like a cult.

“So…”

“Yep,” she sighed, “Manes and Valenti. Two heads of Neptune’s trident.”

“Fuck.”

#malex fic #malex #michael guerin #alex manes #roswell new mexico #my fic #our fainted thrill carries on

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velveteencurtains · 3 years

Text

evermore first impressions!

willow - GIRL EUEJDNSKJDJEJD LOST IN YOUR CURRENT LIKE A PRICELESS WIINE!!!!! TAKE MY HAND!!! WRECK MY PLANS!!! THATS MY MAN!!!!!! girl this is so fcuking GOOD! gonna be 100% honest the 1 is a better album opening but this is so fucking good you guys. life was a willow and it bent right to your wind!!! ID COME BACK STRONGER THAN A 90’S TREND???? EVERY BAIT AND SWITCH WAS A WORK OF ART??? SHES SICK SHES REALLY SICK I SWEAR. the way she sings “that’s my man!” yes ma’am yes ma’am!!!!!! the parallel between “I knew you stepping on the last train” and then “you know my train could take you home” SHES SICK YOUR HONOR SHES SICK

champagne problems - okay we love a piano opener. i’m so conflicted on what i think this song is gonna be about. MORE TRAIN LYRICS GIRLIE. this really is this is me trying’s older, sadder sister. “our group of friends/don’t think we’ll say that word again” MA’AM??? SHE WOULD HAVE MADE SUCH A LOVELY BRIDE SUCH A SHAME SHES FUCKED IN THE HEAD??????? IM LOSIJG MY FUCKIJG MIND. taylor and joe wrote this together? we love a couple with shared mental illnesses

gold rush - jack antonoff do not let me down. GIRL THE HARMONIES AT THE VERY BEGINNING JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE. okay I can definitely see what they meant by this song being about being lost in a daydream, the juxtaposition between the chorus and the verses is AMAZING. this is just gorgeous’s older sister huh???? “ocean blue eyes/looking in mine/i feel like i might sink and drown and die” and “eyes like sinking/ships on waters/so inviting/i almost jump in”

‘tis the damn season - i can’t tell if i want this song to be christmassy or not. OH SO THIS IS JUST HOLIDATE. TAYLOR JUST WATCHED HOLIDATE AND WROTE A SONG ABOUT IT. this is a continuation of tim mcgraw, argue with the wall. NO BC TIM MCGRAW IS ABOUT LIKE A LOVE FROM HIGH SCHOOL AND THIS IS LIKE COMING HOME FROM COLLEGE AND REUNITING WITH THEM BC YOURE BOTH DEPRESSED AND LONELY

tolerate it - jesus christ i’m not emotionally ready for this. STOP THIS IS THE PRELUDE TO BETTER MAN. LIKE BETTER MAN IS AFTER SHES ALREADY LEFT BUT THIS IS BEFORE WHEN SHES STUCK AND KNOW SHE DESERVES BETTER BUT SHE JUST TAKES IT IM GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYY. okay but i’m imagining the babe music video and that whole of like the doting housewife who gave up everything for her husband and does everything to make him happy but he just does not appreciate it at all and he doesn’t see how much his indifference hurts her. @taylorswift mv now. honestly? loved that but as a track 5 it’s pretty weak

no body, no crime - I PREDICTED THIS WAS GONNA BE MY TOP SONG ON THE ALBUM LETS SEE IF I’M RIGHT. GIRL THE SIRENS AND “HE DID IT” AS THE FIRST LINES?? THEN THE COUNTRY INSTRUMENTAL??? TAYLOR HAS FINALLY GIVEN ME A GOOD OLD FASHIONED “MURDERED MY CHEATING HUSBAND” COUNTRY SONG HELL YESSSSSSS. OH THE WIFE IS MISSING???? NOT GONE GIRLLLLLLLLL MISS TAYLOR CHANNELING AMY DUNNE HERE!!!!! OH SHUT UPPPPPP SHES A LESBIAN WITH ESTE’S SISTER AND THEY COVERED UP HIS MURDER AND NOW THEYRE GONNA LESBIAN TOGETHER MISS TAYLOR

happiness - okay miss happiness you’ve got a lot to live up to but let’s do this. NOT THE MIRRORBALL PARALLEL “i was dancing when the music stopped” and “when no one is around, my dear/you’ll find me on my tallest top toes/spinning in my highest heels, love” NOT THE IDEA OF CHANGING YOURSELF JUST TO KEEP SOMEONE BY YOUR SIDE IM GONNA SOB taylor please stop this i cant emotionally handle any of this. girl this is the prelude to tolerate it which is the prelude to better man

dorothea - okay so seven’s older sister? so dorothea and whoever this singer is were besties when they were teens and then dorothea moved away and now the singer misses her former best friend and also first love and also they’re lesbians yeah it’s gay it’s so gay. taylor i’m literally begging you from the bottom of my fucking soul please give us a music video with two girls please miss swift i ask of you this one (1) thing

coney island - see i thought this was gonna be seven’s older sister when the tracklist was announced so now idk what to expect! JESUS OKAY I KNOW IT SAYS “feat. The National” IN THE TITLE BUT I FORGOT AND I GOT SCARED BY HIS VOICE. NOT A FUCKIJG CAR ACCIDENT TAYLOR IM REALLY SORRY I RRALIZE YOU ARE YOUR OWN PERSON AND I NEED TO STOP CONNECTING YOU TO HARRY BUT REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. okay anyway here’s my theory hear me out: This is dorothea’s husband who’s confused why his high school sweetheart wife doesn’t love him anymore and why she’s now hanging out with her old high school best friend again damn that’s weird they’re like really super close that’s super odd. anyway that’s just a theory I actually don’t really know what this songs about! miss swift is too smart for me

ivy - stop this song is so sweet!!!!!! i feel like this is getaway car’s sister! i need to stop doing that i know it gets annoying but really honestly it is! NO NO NO THIS IS DOROTHEA’S PERSPECTIVE WHEN SHE HAS AN AFFAIR WITH HER HS BESTIE AND HER HUSBAND STARTS TO FIND OUT GUYS IVE FIGURED IT OUTTTTTTT. WAIT WAIT WAIT THE HS BESTIE IS FROM NO BODY NO CRIME AND DOROTHEA IS ESTE’S SISTER GUYS IVE FIGURED IT THE FUCK OUT YOU GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I GOT IT

cowboy like me - let’s yee and let’s haw ladies and gents. WHOS SINGING????? WHOS SINGING WITH HER???? taylor shut up for a second lemme hear who tf this is. AM I CRAZY OR IS THIS JOE???? i’m probably dumb. but am i? why can i not at all remember what joe’s voice sounds like rn. is that joe??? im so confused. maybe i’m super dumb and it’s really obvious and i’m just fucking stupid. it’s probably not joe it’s probably some country legend that everyone else knows bc they grew up yeeing and hawing and i’m but a wee city slicker but i’m gonna hold onto this stupid theory that it’s joe singing with her until someone proves me wrong later. also this song is fucking gorgeous where’s my cowboy hat not wearing one while listening to this song makes me feel sacrelige. okay wait tay and aaron wrote this one is it aaron? i’m sorry taylor i don’t listen to the national you can hate me if you want

long story short - god the production on this slaps!!!!! and the idea of being hurt before and then finding your love and being all about them and not even caring abt what happened before!!!!! god i’m gonna cry i’m gonna cry. NO MORE KEEPING SCORE NOW I JUST KEEP YOU WARM?????? taylor really said “oh you’re not in love and i’m gonna make you feel like SHIT ABOUT IT” taylor pls a petition to let us say “BITCH” after the last line so it’s “i survived...bitch!” okay pls and thank you

marjorie - oh is this about taylor’s grandma :(((( i knew she used her name but this feels like it’s really all about her. babey. this is so sweet. taylor i love you

closure - okay the opening??? slaps! literally! okay the production of this is interesting! okay i’m like trying to figure out who this is about....who cares this is so good. oh my god the distortion??? it just underlines the anger of it all so perfectly and i love

evermore - exile hive let’s GOOOO. please be an exile pt 2 pls be an exile pt 2. so odd to me because, as a whole, this actually feels like a way more happy and optimistic album than folklore did, yet the title comes from the line “i had a feeling so peculiar/that this pain would be for/evermore”. OKAY BON IVERRRRRR. the violence of the dog days? that’s my next instagram caption thanks taylor. NOT A DUET SECTION AGAIN LIKE IN EXILE TAYLOR PLEASE I CANT HANDLE THISSSSSSS. “we always walked a very thin line” AND “is there a line that we could just go cross?” THE PARALELLELLLLRJSNDBBD. I’m gonna die for this I really think. okay so she ends it on this pain wouldn’t last evermore so that’s good

overall? this is a masterpiece. miss swift has done it again. folklore aoty 2021 and evermore aoty 2022. no body, no crime is really THAT BITCH. i need a mv miss swift! okay bye gonna go cry over this

update: after listening all night i feel like i need to point out that i’m stupid and thought este was the mistress and the singer was the wife when in fact ESTE is the wife in no body, no crime. SO addendum to my theory: este and dorothea were besties in hs then dorothea left and got married and so did este but este’s hubby cheated so then este’s friend murders him and she’s cool w it, then dorothea and her husband move back home and este and dorothea reconnect and realize their long hidden feelings for one another, dorothea leaves her husband and she and este run away together

ANOTHER UPDATE: ‘TIS THE DAMN SEASON IS FROM DOROTHEA’S POINT OF VIEW!!!!!!!! WHEN SHE COMES HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS AND SHES SINGING TO ESTE!!!!!! CJNECNSJSNNDN

#taylor swift #evermore #taylurking #evermore era #this looks weird on mobile but normal on desktop so if this looks weird to you i'm sorry idk how to fix it #my post

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iznightwing · 4 years

Text

TUA Season 2 Spoilers

So, this is my immediate reactions to the new season of The Umbrella Academy. Please enjoy

Episode 1

They all got stuck in different parts of early 60s Dalas, TX

Threat of nucular war

"The Swedes" are our main(?) protagonists for this season it seems

Diego(1963) is in a mental asylum because he's trying to stop JFK's assassination.

Vanya(1963) has some minor amnesia

Luthor(1962) is a mobster???(idk)

Allison(1961) is married, helping with the civil rights movement

Klaus(1961) stole a guys truck and fighting with Ben

Ben(with Klaus) is still a ghosty boi(😭)

Five(1963) as to figure out how to stop the fuck apocalypse ****again**** that they ended up bringing back with them

Episode 2

Handler is alive, but she got demoted

Luthor works for Jack Ruby apparently

Luthor still hates Vanya -_-

"Dad should have left him on the moon" jsjegdidu Five's fuckin savage

Diago and Lila(new character) escape the mental hospital

Allison's husband just got arrested for "assault and battery"

Diago is still trying to get Lee Harvey Oswald

Klaus is literally treated like a Hippie Jesus but he doesn't like it

They have fottage from JFK's assassination, which isn't for another 6 days, based on the show's timeline

FUCKING REGINALD IS IN THE FOOTAGE?!?!

Luthor found where Vanya has be- OH SHIT HE HAS A GUN

Luthor doesn't realize Vanya has amnesia

He wants to apologize to her???

LUTHOR DON'T DO IT

SISSY(new character) PULLED THROUGH

2 of the 3 guys sent to kill the Hargreaves are just throwing a knife at each other while the other one cooks??

Five and Diego are going to search for Reginald

Allison's husband is getting suspicious because she almost used her power in front of him

Lesbian vibes coming from Sissy and Vanya

Five being vulnerable makes me soft

Reginald has (a) mannequin family(ies)??

Pogo!!

Reginald just fucking stabbed Diego I-

Episode 3

Klaus seriously is just Hippie Jesus

Lila saved Diego's life

Vanya run girl!

Yaasss queen! You use thos powers!

Well, Five found Vanya

Luthor is trying to find Allison

Klaus and Allison reunited!!

Handler changed her appearance??

Allison is a strong independent woman, and ain't none can tell her otherwise

Daaamn klaus and Ben just used his ghosty self to get Allison's husband out of jail

Five tries to help Vanya get her memories back

I'm fairly certain Lila has a thing for Diego

THEY MADE OUT! I WAS RIGHT

Okay, they're doing more than making out

Luthor found Allison's address and met her husband. Can you say **awkward** !

Allison ain't taking no shit my dudes

DAVE!! AAAHHH

Klaus is being the awkward gay

OH FUCK OUR IS BOY HAVING SOME PTSD

KLAUS IS TRYING TO SAVE DAVE FROM GOING TO VIETNAM!

I think Ray(Allison's husband) is mad at Allison...

Vanya and Five went find Luthor

Shit going wrong at the sit-in

Oh shit Allison just made Ray scared of her by using her power

Klaus managed to get Allison out of all the chaos

Luthor just purposely lost a fight??

Lila what the fuck are you doing??

Lila, what are those keys for??

LILA YOU FUCKING WORK FOR HANDLER?!?!

MOM?!?!?!

Episode 4

FIVE WAS THAT YOU?! I SWEAR TO GOD IF IT WAS-

I don't know how I feel about this my dudes

Vanya and Luthor bonding??

Jack Ruby just fired Luthor??

Vanya and Five just had a fight

Klaus is not the best person for moral support

"He stabbed me" "I'm surprised he waited this long, Diego. We've all had the urge" jdjdgdj savage Five back at it again

So Reginald is part of a "shadow government"??

OH FUCK DAVE NOOOO

Allison, honey, you can do better babe

Oh nooo Klaus is going back to the dunk side

Welp, Klaus' followers found him

Diego, Lila and Diego doing a sneaky

Allison and Luthor have reunited!!

More sneaky

GRACE! BUT NOT A ROBOT!

Oh nooo! Harlan come back!

HARLAN NOOO

VANYA TO THE RESCUE!!

Well, Luthor just got evicted

LETS GO LESBIANS

Well, Luthor's high on laughing gas, thanks to Eliot

Ooo fight scene to KISS niiccceee

Welp I think Diego feels betrayed

Five knows ancient Greek apparently

Episode 5

BABY POGO

Pogo was apparently sent to space

That moment you realize Reginald treated Pogo more like a son than he did his own children

Diego and Five are onto Lila

Allison and Klaus are have a heart to heart

As I stated previously, LETS GO LESBIANS

Oh nooo

Luthor, you're just going to get your feelings hurt

Told you soooooo

"Dude, that's rough" I- they literally missed the opportunity to use "that's rough buddy"

Handler, what are you planning?

Now Diego doesn't trust Vanya -_-

ALL THE SIBLINGS ARE TOGETHER YAY

The Swedes are just living their best life in this random women's home

Damit Klaus

God damit Luthor

Don't follow her damit

AAAAHHHH BENNNN

Klaus calling out all the in*est shippers

"The only thing the Umbrella Academy knows about love... is how to screw it up" I didnt need called out like this Klaus

I love some quality sibling bonding

Well that guy just went boom

I lowkey like this cover of Billie Eilish's "Bad Guy"

Five figured out Lila and Handler are working together

Vanya trying to confess her love to Sissy I- baby nooo

Vany, baby, it's all gonna be okay

The swedes are down to two. Poor guys

Idk how I feel about this version of Adele's "Hello"

Klaus is confronting his followers

Allison decided to tell Ray everything

Episode 6

Allison, run baby!

Ooo how sweet!

Seriously Handler. What are you planning?

So luthor, Diego and Vanya are going to talk to Reginald

Klaus' followers won't listen to him

Allison got Ray to believe her. Yay!

Ooooh booooyyy, pooh shhhiiittt

BINGOO!

oh shit, what the hell??

Oh my god, Dave come baaaaccckkk!!!

"Unharm my wiener" oh my god

I think Luthor let rip in the elevator, lol

Reggie wants proof

And with that proof comes a mess of fruit

So, Ben can possess Klaus

Diego doooonnn't

Vulnerable Five gets me every time

Nooooo not Eliot

Sissy, it's gonna be okay baby

Oh noooo

Oh fuuucckkk

Episode 7

I have a bad feeling about this

Well that was... interesting

Klaus is being Ben's wingman and letting him possess him to talk to a girl

I don't like Carl's attitude

I knew Handler was gonna pull something

Diego just threatened an old lady because of a misunderstanding I-

Istg, I want to shoot Handler in the head again

God damnit Diego

Ben, enjoy yourself baby, but don't abuse your brother's trust

Fuck off Carl

Allison, honey, please go with Luthor

Ben, you're doing great sweetie

Diego knows that Ben is able to possess Klaus

Vanya, please don't fight with your brother

Diego, please lis- GOD DAMIT LILA

Allison, baby, its going to be okay

Sissy, what are you doing?

Backstreet boys to a fight scene. Nice

So vaccuum extensions can be a weapon

Klaus, Ben, stop fighting!

Okay, so that happened

Shiiitt

Vanya, don- SHIIIIT

Episode 8

So Vanya is the russian baby from the opening of the first season

"You've had your possession privileges revoked!" "I regret nothing!"

Oh shit, he's gonna- ope, he knows it was Handler

Diego, don't let them treat you like that man

Grace, please be careful

Grace, don't believe him

So, five is going to look for himself. Literally, not figuratively

Sissy, don't listen to him

DON'T HURT HER YOU ASSHOLES

The FBI be assholes(for legal reasons this is about the show only)

This won't end well

Lila, please. Control yourself

Five apparently doesn't trust himself(the old body version of himself)

Diego, don't fuck up

Fancy shmancy machine

Sooo, Vanya causes this apocalypse too??

Past five wants to "kill" present Five??

Brain food. Ha

Ray, just listen to your wife

Uuuuhhhh Harlan??

Episode 9

Allison, please be careful baby

"You look like Antonio Banderas with the long hair, I just thought you should know"

Common Klaus, I know you can do it baby

BEN!!

"Because I'm him, and that is exactly what I'd do if I wanted to kill me!"

"I'M THE DADDY HERE!!" Gejkzudh I'm-

743??

Carl stop it!

Sissy, POP OFF

God damnit Lila

Five. For god sakes

Oof, I felt that through the screen

"Dancing with myself" is a completely appropriate song to go with this fight scene

Ben, be careful baby. I know your dead, but still

Vanya, baby, it's gonna be okay

Ben noooooo

Shut the fuck up Carl

OH SHIT

Lila knows the- GOD DAMNIT IT WAS FIVE

Don't listen to her Lila!

Okay, so that just happened

Diego is still trying to stop the assassination

Five sent old Five through his rift to 2019

Well, Diego got duped

Reginald didn't know about the plan of the assassination??

WHAT THE FUCK?!

UUUHHH

Episode 10

Okay, so we open up with Ben's funeral

Wow Reginald

Klaus apparently convinced Ben not to go to the light?

So now they're all wanted by the FBI

Guys, please listen to Vanya

Okay, so he was scared of the light, it wasn't Klaus that got him to stay

"Anyone makes a fat joke and I'm outta here"

Oh- oh no

Harlan, baby, please listen to Vanya

Uuuuhhhhhhhh

So Diego can control the direction of more than just knives. Okay then

Hell yea baby, Vanya saves the day

WHAT THE FUCK

OH SHIT, FIVE

Nooooo

Phew that was close. Why is it always Allison that almost dies?

Don't listen to her Harlan!

Listen to them Lila!

NOOOOO

WHAT THE FUCK

YASSS BITCH

Harlan, it's okay baby!

Yassss

Way to go Herb!

No Sissy, go with herrrrr

I have mixed feelings about all this

And theyre back home

Apparently Reginald is alive??

THE FUCK

#the umbrella academy spoilers #the umbrella academy #tua spoilers #TUA #swearing #tw swearing #tw caps #caps #long post

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randomfandomimagine · 5 years

Text

Don’t Hate You That Much (Steve x Reader)

Character: Steve Harrington (ft. Dustin Henderson and others)

Fandom: Stranger Things

Categories: GenderNeutral!Reader, Sibling!Reader, Henderson!Reader

Warnings: Injuries, bit of violence, swearing, spoilers for season 2

Word count: 4.673 words

Summary: Y/N realizes Dustin has been hanging out with Steve Harrington, and as the older sibling, wants to protect him from Steve's bad influence. Or so it seemed, because as Y/N gets involved in their endeavor, Steve doesn't seem such a bad guy.

Home sweet home. After a long day studying at the library, I was exhausted. I couldn’t wait to plop down on my bed and rest. Just thinking about it put a smile on my face.

I parked the car and got out, noticing that the lights were out. That was odd, mom and Dustin should be home by now.

“Mom?” I yelled out to the house as I came in, turning the lights on. “Dusty?”

There was no response, so I sat down on the couch and thought where they could be. I tapped my chin with one finger, just then remembering that mom was looking for Mews. But where the hell was my little brother?

Interrupting my train of thought, I heard a loud bang outside. I stood still, waiting to see if something else happened. After a few seconds of stillness, I could hear voices in the distance.

Standing up with determination, I headed to my room and grabbed my replica of Aragorn’s sword. Wielding the weapon to defend myself from potential intruders, I headed outside to where the noise originated from.

In the darkness of the night, I noticed a beam of light from a torch someone was holding. I recognized the hatted figure and the one next to him.

“Hey!” I shouted, startling them both. “What’s going on here?”

“Jesus, put that down!” The taller one said, taking a step back.

“Dusty, what’s he doing here?” I asked my brother, ignoring the other one.

“I’m-“ The latter replied, but I shoved him a little.

“I’m not talking to you, Harrington” I glared at him, trying to warn him. “Get away from my brother”

“No, Y/N, I asked him to come” Dustin defended him. “It’s okay”

“Yeah, what’s your problem?” Harrington mumbled in outrage, but he stood back when I pointed the sword his direction again. “Whoa, hey, watch it!”

“My problem is that you’re an asshole” He used to hang out with Tommy and Carol, and even if they had drifted apart, I didn’t believe him to be any better than them. “And I don’t like you being around my little brother”

Dustin tried to calm me down by pushing my sword arm down. I still eyed Harrington, secretly enjoying the cautious look he was giving me.

“Is that an actual sword?” He asked instead, probably trying to pretend he wasn’t intimidated.

“Yeah, from Lord of the Rings” Dustin proudly replied, grinning widely.

“You’re a nerd too?” The other exclaimed in surprise.

“Where do you think he got it from?” I replied, patting my brother’s head.

“Look, don’t tell mom” He told me gravelly, which wasn’t a great start. “But I think I’ve been harboring an evil creature”

“A what now?”

“Dart, I think he was evil”

“Dart? Who’s-” Was that the name he had given this new pet he was talking about? Nevermind, that wasn’t important. “How can you know that it was evil?”

“Because it ate Mews”

“Mews?! But mom is looking for him at the other side of town!”

“Exactly, that’s why I needed Steve’s help”

“Son of a bitch, Dustin!” I complained, eyeing Harrington as he wielded his bat. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because! I didn’t want to freak you out, and you were in the library so…”

“Okay, sorry to interrupt this cute little family moment but…” Harrington knocked his bat against the closed doors that led to the basement. “Are you opening this or not?”

Dustin nodded, giving him the key, so he could reveal the inside of the cellar. The three of us stood there in silence for a moment until Harrington took a step forward.

“Not so fast, dumbass” I said, planting a hand on his chest and pushing him back. “I’m going first”

“What, why?”

“Because I don’t trust you, that’s why”

Harrington rolled his eyes at me and rested a hand against his hip in annoyance. I ignored him and entered the cellar, sword in hand. I walked slowly down the steps, glad that they were illuminating my way with their flashlight.

I suddenly yelped when I stepped on something slippery that made me fall. I landed with a thud that accompanied the clinking noise of the blade against the floor.

“Shit!” Harrington uttered, rushing to my aid. “You okay?”

“Y/N?” Dustin asked from the entrance too as Steve pulled me up.

“I’m fine!” I told them both, swatting him away. “It’s fine…”

Ignoring his exasperated sigh, I went to turn the light bulb on by pulling at the chord. The room was now flooded in the dim yellowish light. Harrington crouched down and used his bat to pick up what I had slipped with. I grimaced in disgust at the gross viscous substance hanging from it.

“Shit” Dustin muttered, examining whatever that thing was as he joined us.

“What is that?” I asked, watching how it dripped to the ground.

“Dart” My brother half-questioned, looking up at me.

“What kind of pets are you keeping, Dusty?” I uttered in outrage, eyeing him.

However, I walked away from them when I noticed something. There was an opening at the other end of the cellar, one that shouldn’t be there. I knelt down on the ground to examine it, but it was too dark to see anything.

“Um…” I piped up, trying to gather their attention. “What the hell is this?”

“Oh, shit” Dustin repeated as they both walked closer to see it.

Steve directed the beam of light to the opening, where we could see a tunnel.

After our little discovery, we came into the house to discuss how to approach the situation. While Steve and Dustin paced up and down, debating their next movement, I ended up falling asleep in the couch. When I woke up it was day already and last night’s events almost felt unreal.

I jumped to my feet, dropping something on the process, which I realized was Harrington’s jacket. I rolled my eyes at his poor attempt at getting on my good side and grabbed it as I stomped over to Dustin’s room. No one was there, and I hated to think that my little brother was alone with Steve Harrington.

I looked under the bed for his walkie-talkie and pressed the button, growing more anxious by the second. Especially when I remembered there was some sort of strange creature roaming around and they were going after it.

“Dusty, do you copy?” I paused, but insisted when I had no answer. “It’s Y/N, please respond if you copy. Over”

There was only static for several seconds until his voice came next.

“I copy, Y/N” I intently listened to his voice, but he seemed to sound unharmed. “I’m with Steve”

“Where the hell are you? I don’t want you chasing after some weird thing with only him to protect you”

“Um, yeah, I’m right here” Steve interrupted us, and I rolled my eyes just at his voice.

“Good” I told him, then pretending he wasn’t even there. “Answer me, Dustin, where are you?”

“We’re going to the old junkyard. But we got it under control, you can-“

“No way” I spoke to the walkie-talkie, already heading outside. “I’m on my way, over”

I wish I could take a weapon with me like Harrington had his bat with nails, but the closest thing I had to that was the Lord of the Rings sword, and it was blunt. I just hoped for the best and hurried to the car to get to them as soon as possible.

When I arrived, Dustin and Steve weren’t alone. Lucas was there too, along with a girl that I had never seen before. I supposed that was Max, the girl Dustin had told me about.

As I approached, Steve smiled at me as a peace offering, but I still didn’t like him. I had heard too many shitty things about him to trust him in the slightest. So I just ignored him, heading straight for the two boys hiding behind a rundown car.

“Hey, Lucas” I said, earning a ‘hi, Y/N’ from him. “Dusty, what are you two doing?”

“We’re talking, do you mind?” My brother complained, so I scowled at him a little and backed away.

I looked at Steve and the girl, wondering why the hell they were moving metallic plaques over to the outside of the bus. Still, I knew it had to do with the thing we found on our cellar and I didn’t like it one bit.

“Hey, Y/N” Harrington showed me a smile that I assumed pretended to be charming.

“Nice try, asshole” I tossed him the jacket, making him drop the plaque he was holding in order to catch it.

“What? I was just…”

“You’re gonna have to try a little harder than that”

“There’s just no pleasing you”

“You can always stop trying”

I heard a small laugh and was reminded of the girl’s presence there, so I approached her and forgot about Steve. I did smirk, though, when he walked away muttering to himself.

“Hi, I’m Y/N” I held my hand out for her to shake. “Dustin’s my brother”

“I’m Max” She replied, giving my hand a firm shake before dropping it.

“So Max, can you tell me what’s going on exactly?”

“As far as I understood, we’re trying to bait something with that” She pointed to the ground, where I noticed pieces of raw meat. “This ‘demogorgon’ from another dimension or something”

I frowned, completely baffled. I had heard that word before, but from Dusty’s D&D sessions. I opened my mouth to reply, but she was already walking away. Determined to confront Dustin about this whole thing, I walked over to him, just to see that Harrington had beat me to it.

“Hey, dickheads” He called them, slamming a rusty old chair against the car they hid behind. “How come the only one to help me is this random girl?”

They reluctantly followed after him, but I grabbed Steve by the arm. I wasn’t going to let him treat them like that.

“Don’t insult Lucas and my little brother” Before he could retaliate, I continued speaking. “In fact, don’t insult people, you jerk”

“I was just… I didn’t actually…” He bitterly chuckled and shook his head. “You’re such a joy, Henderson. Can’t wait to spend hours trapped with you on a small bus”

“Yeah, try to survive without looking at yourself in a mirror for so long”

He scoffed at me before carrying on with what he was doing. I walked over to Dustin and nudged him.

“Did that asshole say something to you?” I gravely asked, imagining lots of scenarios in which he gave my brother some really bad ideas.

“Huh?” Understanding what I was getting at, he shook his head. “No, he just gave me advice”

“Advice on what?”

“Girls…”

“Yeah, I’m sure it was great advice” I sarcastically replied, looking Harrington up and down in annoyance.

“What’s your problem with him?” Dustin complained. “Did he do something to you or something?”

“Not really, but I kept hearing all these things about him and… I just don’t think he’s a good influence, okay?” I rolled my eyes, hating to have to justify myself. “Besides, you didn’t like him either!”

“That was before” My brother began walking towards the bus. “I think he changed”

“Yeah, right…” I noticed Harrington was leaning on the bus, waiting for us. “Still don’t trust him”

“C’mon, slackers” He clapped his hands to hustle us. “It’ll be dark soon”

“Fine” I let Dustin go in first, but following close behind. “Just don’t stand too close to me. Wouldn’t want to catch any of the dumbass”

“Clever” Harrington muttered, walking in after me and closing the bus door behind him. “Come up with it on your own?”

I mockingly smiled at him, sitting down on the ground far away from where he settled in. Max occupied one of the worn out seats, lazily pointing up to the hole that led to the roof to tell us that Lucas was there keeping watch.

While it got dark, I found myself in a pensive mood. All of that was still crazy, the fact that just some hours ago I had been studying in the library like any other day and now we were waiting for some strange creatures that we had baited there to ambush.

I got back to reality when I noticed Dustin paced up and down. He was turning to the girl to reply to something she had told him, but he was being pretty rude to her.

Done with his outburst, Max went to stay up on the roof with Lucas. If that was his attempt to get her to like him, my brother was very wrong.

“Dusty!” I scolded him, but he just shrugged and continued pacing.

“Showing you don’t care, huh?” Harrington smirked at him.

“I don’t” Dustin replied simply, barely acknowledging him.

The other winked an eye at him, and I just knew that he had told him to treat her like that.

“Why are you winking, dumbass?” I kicked him in the knee, having to hold back a smirk when he let out a long ‘ouch!’ in response. “That was terrible advice”

“What do you know?” Closing the zippo he had been playing with, he defiantly stared.

“I know that if you want someone to like you, that’s not the way to go, okay?” I leaned forward, challenging him to talk back to me. “Being kind and thoughtful is”

“You’re an expert on that, aren’t you, Henderson?”

“That’s because I don’t like you” I said slowly, trying to let the words sink in. “Stop teaching my brother bad lessons”

With that, Harrington looked up to the inside of the bus. It was now empty.

“Wait, where is he?” We both ran to the window, watching Dustin outside.

“He probably got fed up with our arguing” Harrington observed, barely letting me see as he took all the space.

“And whose fault is that?” I rushed to the door, but felt a hand tugging at my arm. “Hey, they’re not even here yet”

“I don’t care” I broke free from his grasp and opened the bus door. “If he gets hurt today, I’m blaming you”

“What?! But he was the one-“ I heard him slapping his hands against his sides in exasperation seeing as I was ignoring him.

Dustin turned at the sound of the door opening. Our eyes met, and I silently asked him to come back with a gesture. My brother nodded, sinking his hands inside his pockets, and returned to us seeing that we were done fighting.

“Uh… Henderson?” Harrington spoke up, just as Dustin entered.

“What?” We both replied at the same time, soon realizing what he meant when a growling echoed around the junkyard.

“They’re here, but…” Steve nervously shook his head. “They’re not taking the bait”

“That doesn’t make sense” Dustin intervened, looking up at me to explain. “I thought…”

We both jumped when Harrington quickly moved around.

“What are you doing?” I questioned him when he turned to us.

“Just get ready” He tossed the zippo to Dustin and grabbed his bat.

“Steve…” Dustin uttered, watching him leave the bus.

“What…? Harrington, get back in here!” I whisper-yelled, even if he ignored me and closed the door again. “He’s gonna get himself killed”

Max had come down, so the three of us went for the windows to see what Harrington did. He stood outside, taunting the demogorgon as he slowly advanced in the fog. Time seemed to go by very slowly as we watched him being there on his own, attracting those things. It felt like it would jump at him at any moment, and I braced myself just in case.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Lucas called out from above, warning Steve.

“Crap” I muttered when I realized that, indeed, there was more than one.

“Steve!” Dustin ran to the door and opened it all the way. “Abort, abort!”

He took a look around, taking notice of the many creatures that surrounded him, and stepped back. We anxiously watched as he dodged one of them and swung his bat at another one, making a run for it when he got the chance. We encouraged him, urging him to run, until he made it in safely and Dustin quickly slammed the door shut.

Steve caught his breath, lying down on the ground, as he recovered. I gulped as I him, tapping his arm to check he was unharmed. I was distracted, though, hearing those things getting closer.

“Watch out!” I said when the demogorgons started banging against the door.

Steve grabbed a metallic plaque and set it against the door, keeping it in place with his feet. He swore under his breath when they banged it again, and I threw all my weight over it to try and help keep them out.

The bus violently shook, making us all yelp in alarm. I squeaked when they managed to break through the door, but Harrington was already prepared.

“Watch the kids!” He told me, sticking by the door with his bat.

I ushered the three of them closer to me, holding on to them and taking them with me to the other end of the bus. Dustin was desperately trying to get ahold of someone with the walkie-talkie while Max and Lucas stood closely together.

“Y/N…” The latter claimed my attention, and when I looked at him I noticed he was glancing up. Max screamed, and I resisted the urge to do too.

“No!” I pushed them all behind me after I saw a demogorgon creeping on us from above.

“Outa the way, outa the way!” Steve was with us in a heartbeat, wielding his bat.

Protectively standing before us, he attentively watched the creature, ready to strike. It growled once more, and I couldn’t contain a cry this time, feeling myself shaking. We were locked in a bus, surrounded by those horrible things that would no doubt kill us.

The bus then wobbled before the silence established. The change from tension to stillness was jarring, but I welcomed the calm. I put a hand on top of Dustin’s head, over his hat, wanting him to look at me. Without any words, he nodded rapidly to assure he was okay. I noticed his eyes shifted to Max and Lucas, who were holding hands, and I frowned at the sight.

I really wanted to comfort Dustin about it, but it was not the time for that. We had bigger things to worry about.

Moving cautiously, nearly afraid to make any sound whatsoever, we neared the door. Steve, always at the front, opened it slowly. They weren’t around the bus anymore.

“Are they gone?” I dared to ask, shuddering when my voice abruptly interrupted the loud quietness.

“Think so” Max replied behind me, although shakily.

“What… happened?”

“Steve scared them off?”

“No, no way” The aforementioned was already outside, but he turned to us and rested the bat on his shoulder. “They’re going somewhere”

There was a pause in which we all looked at each other. I tried not to freak out thinking that we had lucked out to come out alive.

“Alright” I took a deep breath, realizing like the feeling of imminent death was gone now. “Everyone okay?”

“Yeah” The kids lowly replied, soberly nodding their heads.

“Wait” I tapped Harrington on the shoulder when he began walking. “Where are you going?”

“We’re following them” He replied, gesturing in that direction, like it was obvious.

“Are you out of your mind?”

“We can’t let them hurt anyone”

“Y-Yeah, but we barely made it!”

“No one’s asking you to come anyway”

“I’m not just… leaving you guys now!”

Steve motioned for me to get going with a head movement and took a step forward without looking back. I sighed in resignation, knowing there was no going back now.

I watched Harrington as he walked, bat against his shoulder. I was suddenly unable to avert my eyes in awe of what I had just witnessed. That jerk, who had picked up fights with Jonathan Byers when his brother went missing, who always thought he was better than anyone and looked down on people. That jerk had just risked his life, several times, in order to protect us. Willingly. He had valiantly fought those things while we stayed behind in the safety of the bus. He had surprised me, doing selfless things I never thought a self-absorbed asshole like him was capable of.

“Y/N?” Dustin tugged at my hand, interrupting my train of thought. “You alright?”

“Yeah…” I lied, since I was feeling a headache coming. “You, little guy?”

“I’m fine…” He assured, even if it wasn’t really convincing.

“Wanna talk?” I offered while we walked, knowing he was still upset about Max.

“Not really” He shrugged one shoulder. “There’s not much I can do, is it? I think she made up her mind”

While Harrington was at the front, Lucas and Max were walking side by side after all. They seemed really close, and I understood that it bothered Dustin if he was interested in her too.

“Well, that’s very mature of you” I fondly put an arm over his shoulders and shook him a little. “But hey, I’m sure you’ll find an amazing girl who loves you just the way you are”

“You’re just saying that” He feebly kicked a rock on the floor, sending it flying forward.

“I mean it, just be patient” I let go of him, ruffling his hat and his hair. “Life surprises us, you’ll find someone you vibe with”

“Can you tell me when?” Dustin tiredly asked, looking up at me.

As we continued walking, I felt someone watching me. I turned to find Steve’s brown eyes fixed on me. However, when I reciprocated the glance, he frowned and looked away.

“When you least expect it, I guess…”

The evening had been absolutely crazy. After we were nearly attacked by those demogorgon things, we followed them to Hawkins lab, where we met Jonathan and Nancy. It was crazy, Hopper and Joyce were there too, with Will and Mike. Apparently, Will was sick somehow and we all went to the Byers house to try and cure him.

Once there, I spoke to Nancy and Jonathan, who explained the whole thing. I was still having a hard time believing things like another dimension called ‘the upside down’ and a creature they called ‘the shadow monster’ were real. But I was willing to stay with Dustin, to protect him and look after the kids. I had said it before, I wasn’t going to abandon them now.

“You okay?” Steve’s voice startled me so much that I noticeably jumped.

“Y-Yeah” I muttered, lowering my hand when I realized I had been biting my nails.

“Here” He said, taking his jacket off and offering it to me. “You’re shaking”

“I’m not scared” I said, facing my back to him in annoyance.

“I didn’t say you were scared” Not giving up, Harrington moved to face me again. “Just that you’re shaking”

He offered me the jacket again, and I honestly welcomed the thought. This nervous shivering was partially because of the cold, but the comforting feeling of the extra layer was appealing. I stared at Steve as I took his jacket, not breaking eye contact when I put it on.

“What?” He asked, uncomfortable under my scrutiny.

“It looks like you’re not that much of a jerk after all, Harrington” I smiled, surprised by this sweet side of him. “At least you seem to have a heart”

Not only had he protected us all back in the bus, but also even offer himself as bait. And after all, I hadn’t seen him with those jerks friends of his again. Maybe Steve wasn’t as bad as I thought.

“Spare me the little speech” He smirked, causing me to chuckle a little.

“Gladly” I huddled under his jacket, welcoming the warmth.

He then nodded, leaving with a last soft smile in my direction. Everything started feeling a little better now.

“Hey” I called him, averting my gaze when he turned to me again. “Your advice is still terrible…”

“Y/N, c’mon” Steve complained, throwing his hands up in the air.

“What I mean is…” I rushed to say, implying that I meant no harm. “Even if it’s terrible, thanks for taking care of my brother”

“Sure, the little shit’s cool” Harrington coolly leaned on the wall.

“Where do you think he gets it from?” I replied, making him laugh a little.

I tiredly leaned on the wall as well, feeling a throbbing headache at all the new information I learned that day. It was so overwhelming and, honestly, kind of terrifying.

“You sure you’re okay?” Steve insisted, gently fondling my arm.

“Yeah, just got a headache” I rubbed my forehead, feeling a bit lightheaded as well. “Always get one when I’m anxious”

“You don’t have to do this, you know?”

“What do you mean? Do what?”

“Pretend like you’re fine. I guess you do it for Dustin, I don’t know, but he can take it”

I stared at him, wondering if he knew how hard I tried to be strong for him. For him, for mom, even for myself. I was the oldest sibling, it was my responsibility.

I patted Steve’s shoulder, nodding at his surprisingly wise words. Briefly looking over to Dustin sitting with his friends, I heaved a sigh. I hated to admit it, but Harrington was right. My brother was smart, and strong. If he could take the demogorgons, he could take me being a little overwhelmed.

“I think I’m gonna lie down” I told Steve, pointing at one of the couches. “Just for one sec”

“Good idea” He grinned, patting my back. “I’ll hold the fort for you”

“Tell Dusty not to worry” That said, I feebly walked to the couch and plopped down there.

I knew it was almost impossible for me to fall asleep, and I didn’t want to anyway. But I closed my eyes to rest my heavy eyelids and weary mind.

Barely realizing I had actually fallen asleep, I was abruptly awoken by loud noises. I had run to see if everyone was safe, just to be stopped by Steve, who held his arm before me.

“What’s going on?!” I exclaimed, holding on to his arm since he still wouldn’t let me pass.

Everyone stood around, apparently expecting something. Hopper and Nancy wielded shotguns, Steve held on to his bat and Lucas had his slingshot at the ready. They all watched the windows, barely even blinking.

“They’re coming” Mike replied ominously, making eye contact.

“What-?” I tried to walk closer to the window, but everyone scolded me for it.

Luckily, Steve’s arm blocked my path still, and he gently pushed me back.

“Stay behind me” He muttered, pressingly tugging at my sleeve. “Behind me, Y/N!”

“Okay, okay!” I obliged, positioning myself behind him and holding on to Dustin’s arm to keep him close.

While Hopper, Nancy, Lucas and Steve wielded their weapons, the rest of us stood behind them. I held on to Steve’s shoulders, still not letting go of my brother to assure he lingered by my side. Jonathan and Joyce were at my right, and he held on to my shoulder.

Noises erupted outside, causing us all to turn to the sound and scream. I clung on to Steve and Dustin when my heart started racing. And then something went through the window.

I squeaked, pushing my brother closer to me and protectively wrapping both arms around him. When we looked, we saw it was a demogorgon, but it wasn’t moving. What…?

“Shit…” I uttered when the door suddenly started unlocking, keeping us tense.

It then opened to reveal a young girl all dressed in black. I panicked thinking who she could be, yet everyone seemed to relax at the sight of her.

READ PART 2 NOW!

Tag list: (Stranger Things) @xionroxas, @raararasputin, @welcome-here-in-my-world, @suenami3, @bitchingpretty, @xxsirensong (Steve) @24-stilinski // If you want to be added or taken off the tag list, let me know!!

#imagone #oneshot #steve harrington x reader #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things oneshot #faves #st #st imagine #st oneshot #steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington oneshot #reader insert #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #not requested

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xfcklprtehkrx · 4 years

Text

Follow the Music

Received this question from @beyondkailani : I'd be interested in your views on the episode titles, especially those released for season 2. I find some of the implications interesting - Sex and Candy being followed immediately by Como la flor for example. Very different in tone!

Okay the episode song titles thing is really fun. For S01 I was familiar with every song, and yay cause even some of my old favorite bands in there. Nirvana, Everclear, Aerosmith, and Counting Crows? Can’t go wrong. Once the episode with Rosa’s CD happened I realized the episode titles were doing the same thing, but I think for most episodes it’s way more literal than others. Since we’ve made it through S01 already I’m gonna mostly focus on S02.

I made a youtube playlist with lyrics for the sake of review: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLu6cxfqCMO9l7f1jJlLLgCzQELAo7W-BZ

2X1 Stay (I Missed You) (Lisa Loeb) Okay this song, the lyrics are 100% about Michael and Alex. Lyrics strangely seem like the inevitable moment of real separation between them because Michael is with someone else. It also smacks a little bit of their reluctance to let go of each other for so long. Now the title could be a direct point to both Rosa and Max seeming to be dead at the end of S01. I mean Rosa was dead for 10 years. She can’t just come back to life, so if she’s going to live, she can’t stay in Roswell. Even if Rosa could stay, what about all her drama with Isobel? Problems. I mean she was Noah at the time, but Rosa doesn’t know that, so they can either tell her or have it be a constant problem. There’s also a chance Rosa already knows and she was going to tell her dad, so she doesn’t exactly scream ‘support the alien conspiracy’ to me.

I don't pay attention To the distance That you're running or to Anyone anywhere

I don't understand if you really care I'm only hearing negative, no no no, bad

So I, I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up And this woman was singing my song Lovers in love and the other's run away Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay

And you said that I was naive And I thought that I was strong I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave" Oh but now I know that I was wrong 'Cause I missed you Yeah, I missed you

You said, "you caught me cause you want me And one day I'll let you go" You try to give away a keeper Or keep me 'cause you know you're just so Scared to lose

2X2 Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space (Spiritualized) This one is all ‘I can’t help falling in love with you’. That speaks to me of Michael and Maria. Could also be a Liz leans on Kyle thing too, assuming Max is still dead. She does always run back to him, which is super unfair to Kyle. Maybe it’s also something good for Isobel. She deserves a new love after everything with Noah, so I’d rather it go that route than either of the other two.

2X3 Good Mother (Jann Arden) This episode will probably revolve around Maria’s mother, and since I predicted before that Michael’s hand and Maria’s desperation to find a cure for her mother could go sideways, I suspect some of that will happen here.

2X4 What If God Was One of Us (Joan Osbourne) As a Malex shipper I admit this is the one that interested me the most since Tyler Blackburn confirmed in this episode Alex gets a new love interest. I can’t see how this would relate to Alex in anyway, so I was disappointed to not get any further insight.

Now the lyrics make me suspect this is when Michael tells Maria he’s an alien. I mean yeah it’s ‘god’ not ‘alien’ but still some similarity there to me.

If God had a face what would it look like? And would you want to see if, seeing meant That you would have to believe in things like heaven And in Jesus and the saints, and all the prophets?

2X5 I'll Stand By You (The Pretenders) I see so many things in this one. -Rosa(assuming she’s still alive)/Liz -Max(if he’s back)/Liz -Max(if he’s back)/Isobel -Michael/Max and/or Isobel. -Kyle always being there for Liz even though he’s sort of a doormat -Kyle and Alex’s rekindled childhood friendship and Kyle being there for Alex -Tragedy strikes so Alex and Maria make up and he’s there for her or vice versa (even though I don’t foresee that lasting)

This could touch so many of the relationships on this show. It’s too generic to me, and we won’t know until we get there. Especially since so much will hinge on how they decide to handle Rosa still being alive and Max being dead.

2X6 Sex and Candy (Macy’s Playground) Now I know the word sex is in the title, but I never interpreted this in a literal way. I always assumed it was about eye sex. His eyes meeting across the room with this fantasy girl and he’s surprised she’s looking back. So maybe something romantic for Isobel or Alex. I assume by this point Maria and Michael will be together so nothing to do with them.

Hangin' round downtown by myself And I had so much time To sit and think about myself And then there she was

I smell sex and candy here Who's that lounging in my chair Who's that casting devious stares In my direction

Mama this surely is a dream Yeah mama this surely is a dream

2X7 Como La Flor (Selena) I don’t speak Spanish so I had to check out a translation for this one, but this one breaks my heart. It’s all about losing the one you love and letting them be happy with someone else. I could almost ugly cry at the implications of this song.

I know you have a new love However I wish you the best If in me, you didn't find happiness Maybe someone else will give it to you

If you saw how it hurts to lose your love With your goodbye, you take my heart I don't know if I can love again Because I gave you all the love I could give

2X8 Say It Ain't So (Wheezer) This song following the last song makes me feel like I am right about the main subject for that episode since it seems to follow the exact same line of thought, but it actually doesn’t. I suspect Jesse Manes will make an appearance here. This song is actually about a boy’s fear of his father’s alcoholism. Then again, if the person who picked it didn’t actually know what the song was really about then yes, it follows the theme of the previous song.

2X9 The Diner So I wasn’t 100% sure which song this was referencing. My mind immediately went to Tom’s Diner by Suzanne Vega, which I won’t lie, I had stuck in my head for like 6 years because I couldn’t figure out what the song was so I never heard it again. When I finally did it was sweet relief. Now there’s a ‘The Diner’ by Kaskade but it’s really just a remix of her song, so I’m going to assume that’s the song.

Now absolutely nothing in this song draws me back to this show. There is a verse at the very end that seems like it might be significant, but it’s not in the ‘the diner’ version. Then again, it could just be that the episode takes place surrounding the Crashdown, and the song title is literal.

Oh, this rain It will continue Through the morning As I'm listening To the bells Of the cathedral I am thinking Of your voice And of the midnight picnic Once upon a time Before the rain began

1X10 American Woman (Lenny Kravitz) This seems way out there, but this song makes me think of an outsider government/military type showing up to investigate and stir the pot.

So beyondkailani had directly commented on the contrast between 2X6 and 2X7. I agree. Different in every way, but I’m not sure it has any meaning beyond trying to find song titles that fit the narrative, but then I think ‘no way’, and I’m sure it must be something more complicated. I’m still digesting how I feel because the songs do bounce all over the place as far as genre.

In S01 I felt like 75% of the song titles it was just the title that related to the episode. I’m sure the lyrics also add to it, but mostly I think they were chosen just for their titles. There are some episodes where it must be the lyrics that had meaning because I can’t see another connection (1X4, 1X10), but for most, it’s just the title.

Per example: -Don’t Speak is a break up song and I suppose you could attach a secondary meaning of the loss of your faith in someone to this song, but that’s a tough sell for me. -Smells like Teen Spirit on the teen revisit episode and I assure you the song is not actually about being a teenager… -I Saw the Sign on the episode where Liz finds a possible motive for why Isobel killed Rosa when this is actually also a break-up song of sorts. -Champagne Supernova on the Gala episode -Creep for the prison and Noah revealing the full extent of his actions (yet the song is actually about wanting someone who you think is amazing to love you but thinking in comparison to them you are nothing). Now that I’m reconsidering this one the lyrics may also have value here. Originally I hadn’t considered that the lyrics might represent Noah’s feelings about Rosa. Rosa not being an active character I didn’t consider her as part of the equation the first time.

I added some of these to the playlist at the top as well. 1X1-Pilot 1X2-So Much for the Afterglow 1X3-Tearin' Up My Heart 1X4-Where Have All the Cowboys Gone? 1X5-Don't Speak 1X6-Smells Like Teen Spirit 1X7-I Saw the Sign 1X8-Barely Breathing 1X9-Songs About Texas 1X10-I Don't Want to Miss a Thing 1X11-Champagne Supernova 1X12-Creep 1X13-Recovering the Satellites

Now all of this could be totally moot since most of the songs in S01 are just about the title and I focused on content to make conjectures. This was really fun for me though.

#episode analysis #ask #roswell nm

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veridium · 5 years

Text

just another girl

HELLO, HOT MESS EXPRESS.

Here I have one hot, out-of-the-angst-oven segment of Isabella’s and my baby, our college AU adventures. Safe to say, Olivia is not having a great week. But, in the true queer tradition, friendship backs you up and shines when would-be-romance falls flat. So, I thought she could use some quality time with a certain brilliant woman by the name of Montilyet...

special thanks to The Killers for being the soundtrack inspo for this segment (obvi..)

part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6 // part 7 // part 8 // part 9 // part 10 // part 11 // part 12 // part 13 // part 14 // part 15

Her weekend could have best been represented by the barrage of texts she gets over the course of two days. Ones she doesn’t even begin responding to until Sunday evening:

Theia: Hey, Ellinor messaged the group chat for you. You wanna go out tonight? You know dancing always cheers you up! Btw I’m gonna kill her

Sera: Hey dude, I’m on my way back into town, ya need anything? I can pick up some of the weed from that shop outside town…

Sera: ya know, the one you kept calling “smokin’ hot blonde”?

Dorian: Not that I care, but you haven’t annoyed work chat with memes, so...I thought I’d ask, you alive?

Josie: Theia told me everything. I have a busy week, but keep Wednesday at 2 open for me? It’s back quad bikini time :)

The queer web is tiny, but mighty.

The last message is the most foreboding in its enthusiasm. Josephine joined into their friend group after her and Theia fell head over heels for each other. An unlikely pairing -- a college dropout-turned-mechanic and the SGA President and leader of several clubs. But they were so good together; despite their differences, they made sense.

She used to wonder the same thing about her and Cassandra, but, that is something she can’t even stomach anymore. She can only cry, cry, and cry some more. She cries so much the 24 hours after their meeting that she googles WebMD asking if it’s possible to die or get sick from it. But, eventually, the faucet does run dry.

If it wasn’t for Ellinor’s supervision and assurance that Olivia gets in and out of the shower, has at least two decent meals both days, and has plenty of space to grieve, she would have likely receded into her closet of emo clothes and hid for the rest of the semester. If you went simply by the sounds coming from her door, you’d swear Paramour was having their own multi-day music festival in her room. The more she languishes the more it feels pointless: an argument that ended unresolved and with so much left unsaid. But it isn’t just the argument, or the flyer, or the kiss that crashed before it even took off. It’s the whole fucked up pizza: the fact that Cassandra gives her so much and so little at the same time. Little to no blunt reassurance, but all the feelings that come with it.

Olivia knows she’s gotten in deep when, even in the thick of her weekend haze, she still checks her phone for texted musings or rants from a certain someone. But there’s nothing. She listened, perhaps for the last time.

When Monday morning rolls around she figures the best way to move on is to suppress and get on with everything. Ellinor is on day 3 of quietly walking on air since she dropped off the cookies on Saturday. She’s glowing, even dressed in her linty green-and-blue flannel draped over her black ripped jeans and grey tank top. Her hair is braided all pretty, too, and walks with more energy down into the stairwell than Liv has ever seen her in the early Monday morning. Cullen’s making her happy.

Good. As he should.

Monday and Tuesday are the days when she tries her best to latch back onto reality. Monday it’s a sweatshirt in jeans, no makeup, but washed hair. Her homework is done -- not as meticulously as it usually is -- but it is correct. She gives back graded work to the class she TA’s for and despite a few groans and curses, the class is too happy with not having a Professor to talk at them to bother her. Or, maybe it’s the way everything about her aura screams “don’t fuck with me, I’m on my last fucking straw, you fresh meat.”

Tuesday evening she walks home after work, keys in her hand and gym bag on her shoulder. She notices the same preps that scowled at her in the parking lot hanging out in the window of one of the student cafes. They don’t know she exists, and happily talk amongst themselves, though they have the same air of “too good for everyone but Jesus and even then, it’s debatable.” She stops on the curb and stares, pondering whether or not to confront them. She could be ballsy since she has nothing left now to lose, and have a rom-com triumph moment.

Her hand buzzes from her phone, which she is clenching with unresolved angst.

Josie: Don’t forget about tomorrow! I’ll bring Starbucks. Theia says hello. XO

Josie Montilyet. Josephine Montilyet. You never broke plans with her if you were an acquaintance, and you surely never did so when you were friends. Olivia sighs to herself and responds with a heart emoji. After that she looks down the sidewalk, and can see the top corner of her dorm building through the various peaks of red brick and concrete architecture. The trees nuzzled in between them have been changing color, and now match. It’s the season where everyone is getting together and finding who they want to take home to the parents for the holidays. Everyone’s holding hands or studying up against one another. Somewhere, for all she knows -- who is she kidding, she does know -- Ellinor is either cuddling or wishing she could cuddle her selected partner.

She slips her phone into her coat pocket and pushes her headphones into her ears. With a sore heart she keeps walking. The preps aren’t worth it. Not this time.

The following day she goes to class and doesn’t bother with anything else. Wednesdays are when she and Cassandra would cross paths on the north pavement on quad in the morning, and say hello. She wants nothing to do with it, now, and heads out the back door of her building after her class.

Cassandra has become like a ghost to her by day 5 of their embargo on one another. She doesn’t show her face anywhere near Olivia’s dorm, and neither does Olivia tread near the suites where she and her puppy-dog roommate dwell. It starts to become a question of whether or not she cared enough to miss her when they aren’t speaking. Irrational, but, in the silence it’s easy to think Cassandra in all her stoicism is somewhere on campus unaffected, doing soccer drills or making freshman philosophy majors cry.

But she still checks her phone, and still there are no messages. Reading the old ones again and again has gotten old. No word, no face, no presence. Just wondering about and rehearsing the disaster that caused it all in her head, over, and over, and over again. This is getting ridiculous, she thinks to herself, as she gets back to her dorm at 1:30pm. Ellinor is there, stopped in for a quick pick-up of a few things before she is off to wherever she has plans to be.

“Hey, Queen of the Underworld,” Ellinor knocks on her open door before stepping in. Olivia has taken to laying across her bed, hands across her stomach. “Whatcha up to?”

She shrugs. “Relaxing.”

“You’re looking good. Is that...highlighter I see on those cheeks?” she pinches her on the side of her hip and sits down beside her on the bed. “Did you, dare I say, contour this morning?”

Olivia rolls her eyes and grins like the sour brat she is. “I had to, I’m hanging out with Josephine today and she makes me feel like a turnip when I am in her glorious presence.”

“I see,” Ellinor snorts, leaning onto her elbow. “So Theia sent her after you to make sure you’re alive? What, am I not good enough?”

“It’s not that! It’s just...ya know, the queer mafia. We look out for one another. Everyone knows everyone or knows someone who would know the someone you want to know.”

Ellinor tilts her head. “That...makes absolutely know sense. Can you speak human, please?”

Olivia giggles and pokes her in the nose, causing her to laugh along with her. Ellinor stands up and circles the room -- the room Olivia took care to stress clean Monday night after she realized she was living in the squalor of her depression. It looks good, but it’s not as homey or warm as it usually feels.

“Well, you have a good time, then. I’m sure Josie has a plan for resurrecting you. That woman is formidable.”

“Pfft,” Olivia huffs, “there’s a reason why she has diplomatic immunity in like three countries, okay.”

“Three?! The fuck?” Ellinor turns. “How?”

“Fuck if I know!”

“I thought she just studied abroad a bunch.”

Olivia sits up and leans against the wall. “Yeah, but, she--”

“I merely interned at several government agencies during my abroad summers, Ellinor,” a bright, brilliant voice projects confidently from the doorway. “The diplomatic immunity is more like a diplomatic ‘acknowledgement.’”

Josephine steps in like an angel descending upon the unworthy mortals of 21C hall. Dressed in a purple sundress and holding a lawn chair under one arm and her back of scholarly secrets in the other, her hair in a voluminous ponytail of curls and braids. She is taller than them both, not by much, but her presence makes it feel like ten feet of difference.

She smiles, and looks to Olivia. “Hello, my dear. Sorry, I arrived a bit early.”

Olivia’s brows are lifted, mouth in an agape “O.” “H-hey, Josie, it’s no trouble. I’m ready anyways.”

Josie gives her the once-over. “That is an interesting fashion interpretation of ‘bikini.’”

“Oh, crap, right,” Olivia exhales and slides off her bed. While she goes to her closet to pick out her swimsuit that’s without a doubt buried under ten mountains of fall wear, Josephine and Ellinor are left to make conversation. Which goes something like this:

“Hey, Josie.”

“Hello, Ellinor! How are you?”

“Uh, good. I’m good. I’m...this boy I’m hanging out with is really cool, and…” she blurts it out, her words slightly fumbling with...silliness? Is she feeling silly all of a sudden? No, it’s just the warm and open tolerant atmosphere Josie seems to bring wherever she goes, emanating like perfume.

“I have heard! You both look adorable together, may I just say. The perfect combination of grunge and gullible charm. Very sweet!”

“I...thanks!” Ellinor smirks, embarrassed and honored at the same time. Olivia knows the feeling. “I...I feel like I’ve said things I never would say out loud ever in my life. I...I think I should go. I have to study anyway, uh, thanks for taking Olivia out.”

Olivia looks back and glares. “Taking me out?! Am I a chihuahua or something?”

Josephine laughs the scorn off the room with ease. “It is no trouble. I’ve missed her! Thank you for sharing her, Ellinor. Take care.”

Ellinor smiles and waves like a BBQ dad and sees herself out, a little too eager to not be basking in the light of Josephine Montilyet and the self-deprecating honesty she seems to inspire in her wake. Now alone with her, Olivia plays with the strings of her bikini in her hands, a bit timid at the idea.

“You sure this is a good idea, Josie? I mean, It’s Fall, and…”

“Agh, of course I am! It is currently 78 degrees outside and no wind. It is probably one of the last hot days of the year. Besides, it’s you who’s in need of some sun, my dear vampiric friend.”

Olivia blushes and side-eyes her standalone mirror in the corner, where indeed, her paleness is the first noticeable thing about her reflection. Cringing to herself, she takes a breath and nods. “Alright, you’ve got a point.”

“I know I do,” Josie giggles, stepping towards the door. “Now, you get that little number on and let’s get out of here. I am finally going to hear all about this mystery person Theia says she doesn’t know yet swears she’s going to kill her.”

“You think she would?” Olivia chuckles, taking off her cardigan.

“Psh! Over my beautiful, curvy, and impossible to improve or replace body if she does,” Josie winks with a tease. “Now, hurry, or we’ll run into the in-between class rush at Starbucks and they have a berry tea with my name on it.”

Front quad was the picturesque place where everyone walked and the marketing photographers for the university took more pictures than they needed. Pretty, but boring.

Back quad, on the other hand, was where students could lounge and sprawl on blankets and under trees and actually be themselves. Everyone from couples sucking face to the school’s rollerblading club can be found there. It’s an interesting dichotomy, divided by the Honors building and clock tower at the heart of campus. When Josephine and Olivia were first getting to know each other, it was when Theia was still enrolled, and back quad was a more frequented hangout spot.

Having gotten their iced teas -- which ended up being heaven sent, as Josie was right about the heat -- they find their spot by one of the walkways intersecting the quad lawn and put up camp. Two short lounge chairs and a red blanket to go underneath, and that is all it takes for Josie to set her stuff down and slip off her dress.

“Ugh, thank goodness,” she says with relief, revealing her high-waisted yellow two-piece, “It’s been too long.”

Olivia, more paranoid given her last two weeks of ‘yikes’-worthy circumstances, delays her strip-down. Shoving her hair up in a bun, it’s hard not to feel like eyes could be on her at any point, trying to find more reasons to hate her.

“You come all this way just to get sweater tan lines?” Josie asks, settling into her chair and pulling a book onto her lap.

“Uh, no,” Olivia shakes her head. She knows what Josie is doing, because everything Josie does has a dual-benevolent purpose. So, she goes along, for the sake of appreciating her taking the time. Slipping out of her shorts and over-sized sweater, Liv reveals her black string bikini.

People from across the quad stop and stare at them, and that is the point. As she sits down on her chair and puts on her large round black sunglasses, she wishes they could all scram.

“It’s always a good idea to spend time out in one’s community,” Josie narrates, in her half-flirty, half-student body Presidential tone.

“You think?”

“Yes, Liv,” Josie plays and puts her own sunglasses on. “Especially for the one for whom papers are pinned onto doors mocking her sacred bodily and sexual autonomy.”

Olivia blushes and looks at her. “Josie! You know?!”

Josie hunches one shoulder. “I...may have...inquired…”

“Ugh,” Liv tossed her head back, her legs scrunching up against her stomach. “I want to disappear. I want to disappear into this grass lawn and never emerge again. God almighty.”

While she laments, Josie closes her book onto her thumb gently and reaches a hand, resting it on Liv’s forearm. It’s comforting, if not a sweet bit of salt on her wounds. “Liv, don’t worry, it won’t be a thing if you don’t want it to be. I just wanted to show some...solidarity. I know SGA Presidents don’t have all the clout in the world, but, we do have some to spare.”

Dual plan revealed, then. Olivia can’t blame her, nor can she be mad at her. Josie didn’t ascend into her roles by being cold and calculating in her ambition; she did because she was everyone’s favorite. She visited people in the tutoring lounges, shared baked goods with custodial staff, and learned everyone’s secrets which she handled with the warmest, and indeed precise, attention. Things got a bit rough for her when it was revealed she was queer, and dating someone not necessarily in her scholarly echelon, but that was a year ago. If anything, it made her a bit more unapologetically decisive. She did not mince her words, or her loyalties.

“I just…” Olivia held her breath, “I handled it. It’s fine. That flyer was where it ended.” And where her and Cassandra ended, ultimately. Ouch.

“Are you sure?” Josie slid back further into her lounging position, reopening her book. She reached over to her bag and found one of her lecture notebooks, flipping it to the page she last left notes on. “I mean, remember what I got when I went public with Theia?”

“Yeah, but, Josie, the people after you were also being racist assholes. You had reason to be concerned. All I got is one shitty note and suddenly everything has become a Victorian serial novel. And Cassandra, she...it’s gone too far with the intrigue. I’m fine. It was just some foolish prank.”

Josie does a tsk tsk click of her tongue, her head tilting from side to side. Her thinking maneuver. “That’s how they like to start it, Olivia. But you’re giving them what they want -- that’ll just make them think they can demand more of you while being anonymous still. You remember what I ended up doing after the five-hundredth gossip post on Yik Yak, after weeks of me trying to keep my relationship private?”

Olivia puckered her lips while she recalled. It was a long while ago, though that drama was hard to forget even when she was just a witness to it. Then, the light bulb went off.

“Hah!” Olivia concedes gleefully, “you lounged out on quad in your bikini with Theia during that heat wave spring semester.” Damn. Some things never changed when it came to college survival tactics.

Olivia looks and sees Josie smiling with pride, head held high while she pulls the cap off her yellow highlighter. “Precisely.”

They settle into homework and lounging, Olivia feeling her shoulders and arms burn even with her double layer of SPF 100 rubbed on. People walk by, more often than not glancing their way, some with smiles and others with confused frowns. A lot of them say hello and greet Josie, who matches their excitement at every turn. Endless energy, endless kindness. At one point, a couple of players from Cullen and Cassandra’s soccer team walk by -- something that makes Olivia want to crinkle up like a raisin. If it wasn’t for Josie’s confidence encouraging her to remain as she is, she likely would. They gawk at her, one nodding as if he knows her, but they don’t engage. Olivia just pouts, spread out in her itty-bitty-gothic-bikini, her sunglasses providing ample cover.

“Josie!” a voice called from up the walkway, paired with a waving hand. Both women looked up, Liv’s heart skipping a beat. It’s no one she recognizes, though. Thankfully.

“Ah! Leliana, there you are.”

The woman is dressed like a European artist and jet-setter, really. A head of red hair in an asymmetrical bob, precision cut and shining in the sunlight. Her black blazer looks tailored, rolled up sleeves on her elbows. She walks like she owns the whole college but doesn’t want anyone to know. A subtle kind of boldness. Upperclassmen, at the very least. Grad student, maybe.

She’s holding folders to her chest. When she arrives in front of them, Josie stands and hugs her. So they were friends.

“I’ve brought the reports you wanted. I only had to slightly hack,” Leliana grins, handing them off to Josie. “Just slightly.”

“Ah, well, don’t worry. It should be public knowledge anyway.” Public knowledge? What on Earth were they uncovering? The location of the stolen Declaration of Independence?

Olivia watches and remains still, laying out on her chair and hoping to blend into it like camouflage. Unfortunately, when the hand-off is completed, Leliana’s lightly-colored eyes look past the SGA President and onto her companion behind her.

Nope, too pale. Always too pale. Makes her noticeable from space.

“And is this who I think it is?” she asks, like she already knows the answer and is just being nice.

Olivia’s brow twitches. “Depends on what informs your thinking, I would say,” she replies a bit curtly, her mouth getting ahead of her manners.

Leliana’s grin widens. “Blonde hair, blunt mouth, and bold style. Olivia Sinclair, we meet at last.”

What? The? Fuck?

Olivia stands at once, trying to make it look casual. She pulls at the drawstrings on either end of her bikini bottom piece and comes a bit closer.

“And who, might I ask, knows me so well?”

Josie makes room, now the mediating person between the two staring at each other. Of course, she is never one to be out of her element in odd social situations, and holds a hand out to the both of them.

“I cannot believe you two don’t know each other! Liv, Leliana takes classes in your major. Leliana, this is, indeed, Olivia.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t think we’ve had any classes with her, Josie, so I wouldn’t know.” Olivia does her best to go along with Josie’s pleasantries, but if her reputation precedes her as being bold and blunt, why not fit the bill?

“No, I’m afraid she’s right,” Leliana agrees, “I am more involved with the communications and international studies than poli sci. You?”

Olivia doesn’t miss a beat. “Governance, theory, and policy.” Reciting her major focus word for word, like she’s had to say so many times before.

“Mhm.” Leliana folds her arms, vindicated. “It’s nice to put a face to the name, though. You probably gathered the fact, but, I’ve heard about you.”

Olivia grows a bit colder under her skin, and she folds her arms to match her posture. “From who, exactly? Do you mean Josie?”

“From…” Leliana’s grin grows into a smile, “people I know, and know well. People whose recommendation I consider very...well, what would the word be?” she glances at Josie.

“Ah, esteemed, maybe?” Josie offers happily.

“Yes...esteemed, we’ll go with that.” Her eyes return to Olivia. “Like I said, it’s good to meet you. Now that I know you are also friends with Josie, I imagine we’ll see more of each other. I am the Honor Board Chair, and sitting in for the SGA Secretarial position as the previous person had to...resign, rather recently.”

“Oh?” Olivia replies, interested but also not. Even though she was a poli sci major, she had no interest in student government. Too ceremonial for her tastes. Obviously, though, some people did not agree.

“Yes,” Leliana snickered a bit, looking at Josie. “Well, student government drama as per usual,” she has a sudden burst of personability, shrugging and letting her arms fall and pat her sides. “I should get going. I have a review for my drawing class tomorrow and have made shit progress on it since yesterday. See ya, Josie. And you, Olivia.” She waves low and sees herself off back on the sidewalk path heading east, where the art buildings are.

In her wake, Olivia feels like she’s no longer in the direct eye of a hawk.

“Uh…” she relaxes, “Josie, you have interesting taste in friends.”

Josie giggles. “You know it. Leliana and I go way back, though. Back to first semester Model UN. She was a ruthless lobbyist. But she has a heart of gold, too. She’s a student Chaplain when she’s not being a superhero on Cabinet. I think you two would get along, she has a lot of of views you do.”

“Views? Like what?”

“You both want a different pie as opposed to a slice of it. I’ll just say that.” Josie gracefully steps over her lounge chair and seats herself back down, sighing with ease as she gets back to ‘business.’

“Huh,” Olivia gives in, and sits down as well. Crossing her straightened legs out and grabbing her textbook, her thoughts can’t let go of the knowing stare in Leliana’s green -- or were they blue? Anyway, they were eyes, and eyes that did not get distracted easy by the looks of them.

“So...you and Cassandra Pentaghast.” Josie returns the topic Liv had tried her hardest to let fall into irrelevance.

Olivia flinches, huddling her book against her chest. “People can hear!”

Josie laughs and flutters her hand dismissively. “Oh, fine, fine. I just wish you would have mentioned it earlier. She and I run in similar circles, after all. I could have given you advice!”

“Advice on what? How to get tossed into the lake to sink or swim on accusation of witchcraft?” Olivia groans. It was such a pleasant afternoon for as long as it lasted. Now she’s back in her own personal circle of hell, talking about her.

“Agh, you’re so funny,” Josie giggles some more. “I would have told you where I’ve seen her, what seems to pique her fancy...or, in her case, doesn’t. Her family has investments in half the town’s commerce. They’re on boards for most every nonprofit entity: museums, parks, the art galleries…”

Art galleries. Art. Oh, shit.

Olivia slams her book shut and looks up. “Wait, shit, you don’t think she’ll be at the Board gala this weekend?!” she asks, but she has a hunch. She knows Cassandra well enough (regrettably) to infer such a schmoozing, elitist event would be the antithesis of a good Saturday night for her. Still, in Olivia’s desperate suspicion, nothing can go unchecked.

Josie is cool as a cucumber in comparison to her friend’s frazzled nerves. “I don’t think so. The soccer team has that game this weekend, I thought? I was supposed to show, but, my parents want me at the gala. Yvette’s painting is being exhibited there. Finally, all that art school tuition…” she starts, but stops the sentence and sighs, turning the page of her book. “Anyway, Cassandra is not the social butterfly her family might wish her to be. I hardly ever see her at events with our families, and when I do, she’s always keeping to the background and quick to leave.”

That is her. Olivia can almost quote her off of her memory: Events where nothing substantial is going on besides drinking and showing off money make me want to stick pins in my eyes. It made Olivia laugh, because in her own way, she agrees. Especially with everything her own family puts her through to make her shape up for who they think she should be. It was one of the many reasons why Olivia feels seen when she was in Cassandra’s company. Or, felt, as it was.

“It is kinda fascinating, though. I mean, Cassandra’s one of those women people wonder about...you know, who they...are attracted to,” she raises a brow, “but no one’s ever had the guts. It’s like a movie.”

It is like a movie, and it’s exhausting. “Well, if anything, I’ve likely just confirmed the conservative estimates. At least she won’t be there this weekend and I can keep getting space. I don’t want to worry about running into her. I have enough on my mind, emotionally preparing for my Mother’s bullshit.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t answer for her. Don’t you hate that when people try to do it for you?” Josephine doesn’t bother looking up from her reading, but she delivers honest criticism. It hits home. “And as for your Mom, you should just tell your you’ll go shopping with me. She loves me, does she not?”

“Hah! Yeah,” Olivia confirms, “I think if I told her you were my girlfriend, she’d lie and say she listened to Macklemore and had a come-to-Jesus moment. Shit, she’d probably start fundraising for the Human Rights Campaign.”

They both laugh, Josephine’s bubbly tone underpinned by Olivia’s lower, mischievous one.

“If only,” Josephine says through her laughter, “but hey, at least we can find something for you to wear that isn’t sequined, lace, and beige.”

“Ugh, please?!”

“I have my connections,” Josephine peers at her, and takes hold of her hydroflask, a large pansexual pride flag sticker pasted on it. Olivia chuckles and grabs her own canteen, which has a bisexual flag sticker on it to match. They clink them together, smile, and continue on with their strategic lounging.

“That never gets old,” Olivia sighs, picking back up on the paragraph she left off.

#college au #ellinor trevelyan #olivia sinclair #josephine montilyet #adventures of ellinor and olivia #COLLEGE AU UPDATE #WOOOOO #friendship fic

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penguin-writes-books · 5 years

Text

A Study in Fate - Chapter 6

Lucy took a deep breath, leaning against the door of Emily’s car and closing her eyes. Cool air swirled around her, calming her heartbeat as she pulled her phone and earbuds out of her pocket. Sighing, she put them in her ears, subconsciously moving along to the song flooding through her earbuds.

When her hands stopped trembling a few moments later, she opened her eyes to find Buffy and Amber standing in front of her.

“There she is,” Amber said, smiling gently. Lucy nodded, gathering Amber into her arms in a warm hug. “You scared me, Luce.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled into Amber’s shoulder. “Where’s Teej?”

“Told him to take the other car home.”

“And Buffy’s here because…?” Lucy glanced over Amber’s shoulder, watching as Buffy’s eyes widened at the use of her first name. Lucy winked, smiling as Amber opened her mouth.

“She-”

“-Can speak for herself, I imagine?” Lucy teased, pulling away from the hug and looking to Buffy.

“I’m here to apologize,” Buffy supplied, stepping forward. “So, um, here goes. I’m...sorry. For everything. You’re here for what? 6 hours? And I was awful to you, and you didn't deserve that. At all. You’re more talented than I thought,” she admitted.

“That is how one apologizes, yes, good job,” Lucy chuckled, offering Buffy her hand. “I appreciate it.”

Buffy grinned, taking her hand and shaking it.

“...But I‘m still not joining the dance team,” Lucy said, grinning maliciously.

“Damn,” Buffy huffed.

“I’m just not a big ‘school dance team’ person. Cheerleading? Already in the works. Studio dance team? Already on it. But school dance teams? No thank you.”

“How the hell are you going to fit all that into your schedule? Maya told me you signed up for a 25 hour dance week,” Buffy said, eyebrows furrowed.

“Cheer is before school, with games on the weekends. I can make games after dance. And competition team will be during dance hours- I pulled some strings, and now it replaces strength and conditioning in Maya’s eyes. I guess that’s because it meets every day- also I now only have a 22 hour week- and I keep up with workouts. So anyway, I still get the key to the studio, and competitions will replace classes- shit. I forgot- I’ll be right back!”

With that, she was rushing back into the studio. They watched her go for a few moments before turning back to one another.

“Is she just...Permanently renouncing sleep?” Buffy asked, leaning against the car.

“She already has,” Amber said casually. “And yes, she’s always like this.”

“Hmm. Fair enough.” Buffy smiled as Lucy stepped back out of the studio. “What’d you do now?”

“Got Maya to let be choreograph the team’s numbers for the competition in two weeks,” Lucy said, smirking smugly.

“All of them?” Buffy asked.

“Mhm, why not?”

“That’s insane! How did Maya Beck let you do that? Her own son wasn’t even allowed to when he asked two seasons ago. Granted, Jonah Beck is awful. Should definitely just stick with his guitar. But he is her son. Like- the literal and actual continuation of her family. They’re not flesh and blood, but-”

“They’re family, we get it.” Lucy rolled her eyes in amusement as she and Amber slid into the car. “You getting in?”

“I- what?”

“Don’t you want a ride home?” Lucy asked, smiling like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“...Please don’t kill me,” Buffy mumbled, sliding into the backseat. “Jesus Christ, this thing is worth more than three times my mother’s entire pregnancy of American medical bills. And that woman needed an emergency C-section.”

“Interesting yardstick you’re using there,” Lucy chuckled, pulling out of the parking lot.

“Yeah, yeah. You still haven’t answered my question, though.”

“It’s like you said, Buffy.” Lucy briefly made eye contact with her in the rearview mirror. “I’m more talented than you might think.”

“...You are so fucking cocky, Kippen number 1,” Buffy said, gesturing for Lucy to take a right.

“So are Kippens 2-3,” Amber responded. “So what are you going to do for the competition?”

“I don’t know yet. But I do have a hell of an idea for a duo and one for a group routine. We don’t have nearly enough people for the group though, there are only seven girls including me. And no boys.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“...Probably some bullshit ‘7 Rings’ piece for the group. A duo to ‘Ghost of You’? That one’s gonna take a hell of a lot of work. Maybe a trio to ‘Hold On’-”

“Which one?” Amber interrupted.

“Extreme Music.”

“And you’ll be performing in all of these, I imagine?”

“Well, yeah. Maya said I’m probably best off taking the reins for a few competitions until I can get my girls in shape.

“Good. Anything else?”

“A solo. My solo.”

“Wait, are you going to-”

“Yup.” Lucy cut Amber off, hands tightening on the wheel.

“I thought you said you’d never perform that one again, no matter how much we liked it.”

“What? No! Not that one! That solo can rot, it’s awful. I mean ‘War of Hearts’.” Amber let out a low whistle, eyes wide.

“What’s ‘War of Hearts’?” Buffy asked from the back seat, leaning forward in interest. Amber waved her off, manicured acrylics dismissing her.

“Hang on. You’re going to pull out that solo on your first competition?”

“I don’t see why not.” Lucy shrugged.

“Because you almost died last time!”

“I did not ‘almost die’! I broke my leg and ankle, calm down. Plus, it’s never been performed in front of an audience, the choreo is done, and I only need one prop,” she bargained, rolling her eyes at Amber.

“A prop that almost paralyzed you last time!”

“I was not- okay I was almost paralyzed,” she conceded. “But it wasn’t the table’s fault! I just, uh, screwed up the fall. A little.”

“A little? Lucy, you had like three surgeries because they couldn’t figure out what the hell to do all at once!” Amber argued.

“What the hell is this routine?!” Buffy yelled. “It sounds like she has to like jump to her peril.”

“Not much better! She has to fucking fouetté off a table!”

“I do not fouetté off the table! I fouetté to the edge of the table and then fall off!” Lucy defended. She slowed to a stop at a red light, glancing at Buffy in the rearview mirror. “Very different experiences. Trust me, I’ve done both. Why are you so worried about this, anyway?” She drummed her fingers against the wheel, waiting for the light to turn.

“Lucy! You came back home a little banged up last time. But if you’d fallen a little further onto your neck? You wouldn’t have come home at all.”

Amber squeezed her eyes shut, pointing to the green light in front of them to distract from the fact that she was crying. Lucy sighed, waiting for the traffic in front of them to start through the light before she followed.

“Okay, I won’t-” Lucy was cut off by a flash of dark blue metal crossing her peripheral vision. Someone was about to run their light and kill them all. She’d always imagined she’d know what to do in this situation. Maybe she’d hit the breaks, maybe she’d turn out of the way. And yet somehow, she was on autopilot. She swerved to avoid the car, but it was too late. A loud shatter of glass signaled the car smashing into the passenger side of theirs.

Lucy paced back and forth in the hallway, phone pressed to her ear.

“Goddamnit TJ, pick up!” She nearly threw her phone across the hallway, but Buffy’s hand on her forearm stopped her. “Hey! You’re okay!”

“Just needed some stitches. Thank God I was sitting behind you, not Amber.”

“I am so sorry, Buffy. If I hadn’t offered you that ride…”

“If you hadn’t offered me that ride, maybe it would have been me and my mom in that accident. It wasn’t your fault, Lucy.”

“Is she on her way? Your mom?”

“Yeah, but it’s not her I’m worried about. Any word from TJ?” she asked, sitting down in a chair against the wall. Lucy sat down next to her, shaking her head and burying it in her hands.

“Nothing yet. I’m gonna try Aunt Em.” She put her phone to her ear, reciting the same word over and over. Please.

“Hello?”

“Emily? Oh thank God,” Lucy sighed. “Listen, is TJ with you? He’s not answering his phone.”

“No, he headed to the park to play some basketball, what’s going on?’

“I’ll explain later. Just get TJ and come to the hospital. Amber’s in a coma.”

“What?!”

“Just get down here!”

“On my way.” Lucy sighed, hanging up and running her hands through her hair.

“Em’s coming. She’s gotta run by the park to get TJ.”

“How many cars does that woman have?”

“How many billions was my family born into?” Lucy retorted.

“Do I want to know?”

“Nope,” she laughed, popping the ‘p’. “The Kippens are neither humble nor poor, though I wish we were the former.”

“You know, your lack of humility? It’s kind of your most signature characteristic in my mind to date. Care to change that?”

“...You do know that ‘to date’ is literally just one date to you, right? You met me this morning, Buffy.”

Buffy simply nodded in defeat, leaning back into her chair.

“...But, we are more complex than lack of humility,” she said.

“Alright, give me a rundown,” Buffy said, grinning. “I want the full out, ever present narrator in a teenage romcom description.”

And who was Lucy to say no to that?

“You ever seen Heathers?”

“...Yes? Do I want to know where this is going?”

“The Kippen triplets are kind of...that.” Lucy put on her best narrator voice, a dramatic expression on her face as she readied herself to speak about herself in the third person.

“Really?” Buffy asked. “Like- felony arson and all?”

“No,” Lucy laughed. “Like- they’re the Heathers. Chandler, Duke, and McNamara.”

“Then who’s who?”

“Well, there’s TJ, or Heather Duke in our case. Kind of seems like your classic white douchebag jock, but he’s actually a really sweet guy. He’s the baby of the triplets, but packs a hell of an angry punch. Don’t get in his way unless you absolutely have to. That goes for all three of them though; they’re a bit of a feisty trio.

“Um, then Amber, the middle triplet. And our Heather McNamara. She’s… A bit of a popular girl cliche. She and Lucy were co-captains of the cheer squad in New York. She, TJ, and Lucy are best friends, and together… They’re kind of a murderous group. Amber knows how to throw a punch pretty damn well for a rich girl with stiletto shaped acrylics- she’s just as good as TJ. Maybe better. If she wants something, she knows how to get it.”

“And that leaves…?” Buffy prompted.

“Heather Chandler. Lucy Kippen. In our case, one and the same. Lucy’s pretty much the head bitch of her life.”

“Fascinating,” Buffy said, propping her chin up on her hand. “Does that make you a mythic bitch?”

“Yeah alright, that’s over now,” Lucy said, reverting to her natural voice. “Listen, I’m just a normal person, Buffy.”

“You’re a Kippen.”

“Okay, I’m like… 70% a normal person.”

“Alright, but I’m only really concerned for your whole 100%?” Buffy said slowly.

“Alright fine. I’m a dancer. 100%.”

“One hell of a cop-out you’ve got there.”

“Ugh, fine! My favorite color is red, I get all A's in school, my favorite subject is math, my lucky number is 28, I am 6’1”, I weigh 127.8 pounds, my favorite animal is a cat. Anything I missed?”

“Hold up, you only weigh 128 pounds and you’re 6’1”? Alright, not my business. I know.”

“Good. Don’t criticize a ballerina’s weight, idiot,” she teased, knocking her shoulder into Buffy’s.

“I know, I realized it the second I said it,” Buffy apologized sheepishly.

“Don’t sweat it, Driscoll. It’s all good.”

“Have you met me? On the outside, totally good. But definitely gonna sweat it, Kippen. You will actually never hear the end of this apologetic tirade.”

“Please don’t bore me with that.”

“Ms. Kippen?” Lucy turned her attention to the doctor standing in front of her.

“Yes?”

“Your sister is still unconscious, but you’re welcome to see her now,” Dr. Lawrence said gingerly.

“Oh- thank you so much. Is- is she…?”

“We can’t be sure of anything right now, Ms. Kippen.”

“Okay, thank you. Um, Buffy, stay here and tell TJ and Emily where I am? Please?”

“I’m not going anywhere, Kippen. I’ll tell them.”

“Thank you,” Lucy whispered, turning to follow Dr. Lawrence.

She stepped into Amber’s room, breath catching in her throat. She’d never seen her sister like this; she was covered in bandages and stitched up cuts. Lucy pulled a chair up to Amber’s bedside, sitting down with a heavy sigh.

“Hey, Ambs. I don’t know if you can hear me, but, you know. I’m still going to talk to you. God, I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what to say, Amber. I’m supposed to have this eloquent speech about how you’ve changed me as a person and I miss you so much and please come back, but… I don’t know what there is to say. You’re my best friend, Ambs. TJ and I would be lost without you. But you already knew that. And I’m not- I’m not going to tell you to wake up. Because, if you have to go, Ambs, I get it. I’ll cry and scream and I’ll break down and probably resent you a little bit, but I’ll get it. If you need to go, I want you to know that I understand. However, I am definitely going to plead with you here a little bit. Please, please wake up, Amber. I can’t do all of this without you. TJ relies on us for fucking everything, and I rely on you two, too. There have been three of us since the very beginning, Amber. And there will be three of us until the end. So just- God, just wake up.”

“You think that works?” Lucy turned around to find TJ leaning against the doorframe.

“Teej,” she breathed, looping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a hug.

“How’s our girl?”

“She’s… Alive. Somehow.”

“She’s a fighter. Learned from the best, I guess.”

“Who?” Lucy asked, meeting TJ’s eyes.

“You, dumbass,” he teased. “You are by far the strongest person we know.”

“I’m strong and a dumbass?”

“You’re a multitasker. Hell of a good one, too.”

“Well, if a girl an be a strong dumbass, there’s nothing else to want!” Lucy said with a roll of her eyes and a shove of TJ’s shoulder.

“My point exactly. Listen, do you mind if I…?” he gestured to Amber. Lucy nodded, squeezing his forearm.

“I’ll go find Buffy. And maybe also a coffee. Want anything?”

“Um… I could really go for some chocolate.”

“On it,” Lucy promised. “Be back soon.”

As Lucy stepped out of the room, TJ sat down in the seat she left behind. She gently let the door click closed, turning down the hall toward the waiting room.

“How’s she doing?” Buffy immediately asked, standing up when Lucy stepped out of the hallway. “Um, this is my mom.”

“Ms. Driscoll,” Lucy said, extending a hand to the woman next to Buffy. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

“You too, Lucy. Please, call me Pat. How’s your sister?”

“She’s good. I guess. She’s alive. Comatose, but well and truly alive.”

“I’m so glad.”

“Lucy!” Emily exclaimed, rushing forward to hug Lucy tightly. “I’m so sorry, honey.”

“It was awful, Em,” Lucy sobbed into Emily’s chest. “And it’s all my fault.”

“Hey. This is not your fault, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong, kiddo.” Emily’s voice was measured and careful as she pulled back to squeeze Lucy’s hand. “In fact, you did everything right. You tried to avoid the accident, you were quick to call 911. Hell, you have Amber’s blood on your leotard because you kept her conscious until the EMT came. You’re basically a damn superhero, Lucy Eleanora Kippen.”

“Eleanora?” Buffy hissed, eyes wide.

“I didn’t choose it,” Lucy defended, glancing down at her outfit. “Holy shit. That’s actually Amber’s blood.”

“You didn’t notice?” Pat asked.

“Not really. I- I’ll change… at some point. But for now, I am on a coffee and chocolate run.”

“Coffee… and chocolate?” Buffy asked.

“Long story. Come with me?” Lucy asked quickly.

“Uh, sure?” Lucy tugged her down the hall without a second thought, only stopping when they found a coffee machine.

“What’s going on? You good?”

“Yep,” Lucy said, pulling Buffy forward and kissing her. Buffy’s hands tangled in her hair as she stood on her toes to reach Lucy’s lips. They pulled apart after a few moments, and Lucy nodded decisively.

“Uhh…” Buffy said slowly. “What was that about, exactly?”

“Thank you.” Lucy nodded again, as if confirming something, before disappearing back down the hallway.

“...Any time.”

#Andi Mack #luffy #lucy kippen #buffy driscoll #amber kippen #tj kippen #a study in fate fic

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sourwolf-sterek32 · 6 years

Text

You’re Not Alone Pt. 2 ( Daryl Dixon x Reader

Summary: The reader and Daryl have started to settle into life at Alexandria, but once the group runs into the Saviours and more specifically Negan, your way of life as you know it will change forever. While the universe seems to be set on pulling you and Daryl apart, how far are you willing to go to get back to each other and make things right?

This series picks up during the Season 6 finale and follows the basic story line up till the Season 8 finale, through yours and Daryl’s eyes.

(Spoilers for Season 8 of TWD)

Parings: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Word Count: 4,631

Warnings: Language, violence, mild descriptions of blood and gore, slight references to a miscarriage (this can be a sensitive topic for some, so please do not read if you feel it might upset you, look after yourself guys).

Chapter 5:

Jesus showed you his trailer. There were two beds and couch with a fold out mattress. Jesus insisted for you to take one of the beds, but you couldn't do that. This was his home, so you took the fold out couch along with a pillow and blanket he gave you. The two of you sat there and talked for a while. You told him what happened with the Saviours and how Negan took Daryl.

He then changed the topic to something lighter and asked how you and Daryl met so you told him about Maggie's fathers farm and how you stumbled upon it with Sophia. Jesus in return told you how he found Hilltop, Gregory was running it before he even got there. He said he found it hard getting close to people when he first arrived at the Hilltop and you understood that. You were scared to get close to Ricks group when you arrived at the farm, not wanting to get attached to people again. Even after a few years at the Hilltop he told you he still found it difficult to get close to anyone, neighbours, friends, boyfriends. You smiled when he said that, happy that he came out to you even though the two of you barely knew each other.

Jesus promised he would talk Gregory into letting you all stay before he left the trailer to go find Maggie and Sasha. Once he left you climbed onto the couch, folding the blanket over you before managing to fall sleep.

"Y/N wake up!" Sasha shouted causing you to quickly sit up in bed looking around for the sudden danger, but you all you found was Maggie and Sasha looking through the small window of the door. Wait is that music playing outside? It's the middle of the night, what the hell is going on?

"The gates are open. There's fires. The music is coming from a car. The door is locked." Sasha explained as she tried yanking on the door handle. You glanced around room trying to look for something to help. There had to be another way out of here. You thought to yourself when your eyes landed on the small window on the roof. Perfect.

"Help me with this." You said grabbing one of the chairs as you climbed onto the table before standing on top of the chair as you opened the small window above you. Sasha held the chair steady as you lifted yourself up onto the roof. You could hear Maggie and Sasha talking back in the trailer, but you zoned them out as you took in the scene in front of you. There was a car in the middle of the yard where the loud music was coming from along with a few fires around the area drawing walkers into the community through the open gates. I need to close those gates first, we can deal with the music once the gates are shut.

You jumped down from the roof and ran towards the walkers that were entering the community. Pulling your hunting knife out from your belt you began stabbing the walkers one by one, wishing you had your bow with you.

You kicked the walker in front of you to the ground when another grabbed your shoulder. You quickly spun around about to the stab it when an arm blocked you and you realised it was Jesus.

"Human. Not dead." He shouted over the music and you gave him an apologetic look before you stabbed the walker coming up behind Jesus. "Thanks. We need to shut the gates, can you handle these walkers while Sasha and I get to the gates?"

"Yeah, but what about the music?" You shouted glancing towards the car when you spotted Maggie reversing the tractor towards it. Well that's one way to shut the music off. "Never mind. Go!" You shouted before turning back to the walkers near you, gripping your knife tighter.

When the sun began to rise Jesus, Sasha and Maggie went to go talk to Gregory about why he didn't help last night and to get him to let Maggie stay. You didn't go with them into the Barrington House or mansion as you referred it to. If you had to listen to Gregory say more shit to the four of you then you would knock him out. Instead you helped the Hilltop's workers who were dragging the walker's bodies into piles and burning them.

"Saviours!" One of the Hilltop men shouted from the guard platform as everyone quickly rushed back towards their trailers and homes obviously wanting to avoid the Saviours at all cost. Shit. Where do I go? They can't find me here. You quickly grabbed a long black hooded jumper from someone's clothes line making a mental note which clothes line it was from so you could return it later.

You quickly put the jumper on pulling the hoodie up over your head covering your distinct Y/H/L Y/H/C hair as you ran towards the watch platform, climbing up the ladder so you could blend in with the two guys standing watch. They knew you were from Alexandria and handed you one of their spears to help you blend in. You gave the man a grateful nod as the other man opened the gates allowing the Saviours vehicles to drive in. You watched as the vehicles came to stop, men climbing out the different vehicles but what caught your attention was the man climbing out the black truck. The tall man with the moustache, Simon. He was Negan's right-hand man and looked to be in charge of these Saviours as they all walked towards the mansion. Negan wasn't with them.

Your plan to blend in seemed to work, the Saviours didn't pay the guards any attention. Too focused on looking around the community for items that caught their eyes. You hoped Maggie and Sasha were able to find a hiding place, you knew they were in the main building which is where Simon and most the Saviours were at the moment.

Nearly an hour passed before the Saviours exited the community, but they were still loading up their vehicles outside the gates. You spotted Maggie walking out the mansion towards the graves so you turned your attention back to the Saviours wanting to make sure they all leave without causing any trouble.

You stayed up on the guard platform for most of the day, even after the Saviours left. You had nothing better to do and it gave you time to think. But once the sun started to set you figured you should head back to the trailer and make sure Maggie and Sasha were okay.

"Enid! What are you doing here?" You questioned as you walked into the trailer to find Maggie, Sasha and Enid sitting at the table. You walked over to the young girl giving her a hug as she stood up from the seat before the two of you sat down at the table and Sasha handed you a bowl of soup.

"I came to make sure you guys were okay. Maggie told me what happened. Y/N I am so sorry." Enid said, and you nodded your thanks before changing the topic.

"I'm gonna go back to Alexandria tomorrow. I want to see what Rick's planning before I try track the Saviours." You explained looking over at Maggie and Sasha.

"Wait what do you mean track the Saviours?" Sasha asked looking at you in confusion.

"We know they have outposts, but they have to have a main base somewhere, I can try track them." You replied as you fiddled with the spoon in your soup.

"Why do you want to find the Saviours base? They could see you and take you, or worse kill you!" Maggie exclaimed but you shook your head, you knew they wouldn't like what you were planning but you had to do it.

"I won't get caught, but even if I do get caught, what more could I lose? The Saviours are the reason I lost my baby and Negan has taken Daryl! I have to find their base and get him back. You can try to stop me but I'm leaving in the morning. I have to get Daryl back." You stated and Maggie sighed but nodded, clearly not liking the idea but she knew she couldn't stop you.

"When do you think you'll be back?" Sasha asked and you honestly had no idea.

"Don't worry, I will be back in a few days." You replied with a soft smile before you started eating the food in front of you.

You told Maggie and Sasha that you were gonna go to Alexandria first to grab your gun and bow and talk to Rick but that wasn't your plan. You had your knife and you had a trail from the Saviours vehicles from yesterday. The trail wasn't really clear, but you could tell through the leaves and dirt on the road which way they were heading so you headed that way as well.

You left before the sun was up and had been following the faint tracks for a few hours. You had a small backpack with a few bottles of water and canned food on your back, but other than that you had nothing else. You didn't need anything else, you had a weapon to defend yourself with and you had the Saviours trail, that was all you needed.

You came towards an intersection of four roads, you knew the road to the left took you to Alexandria, but you weren't sure about the other two roads. You had never taken this route when out scavenging or hunting before so you had no idea where the two different roads lead, but the tracks turned right at the intersection so that was where you were gonna go.

You walked for another hour or so, taking out a few walkers here and there. You knew you were getting close to the Saviours base, you could see what looked to be an old factory in the distance, maybe that's where the base was? The tracks were heading in that direction, but you just had no idea what you were gonna do once you found the base. It would be heavily armed and guarded, you weren't stupid, Negan had the numbers for it, so he would definitely have his people protecting the place. You just hoped they had a blind spot, somewhere where you could sneak in undetected and get Daryl.

You stopped for a few minutes taking a drink from the last water bottle when you heard the sound of a vehicle in the distance. You froze turning around where the sound seemed to be coming from. That had to be the Saviours. You thought to yourself and as the sound got closer you realised it was multiple vehicles approaching. Shit I can't stand out here in the middle of nowhere. You quickly ran behind the closest tree, crouching down behind it with your knife out just in case.

One by one the vehicles drove past, without a care in the world as they headed towards the large factory in the distance. But it wasn't until you saw the black truck that your heart sped up. It was Negan. But there was someone else sitting in the passenger seat and it wasn't until the truck drove past that you realised it was Eugene. Negan has Eugene. Why did he take Eugene? Shit, something must have happened at Alexandria. Did Negan kill anyone else? Was Rick okay? Carl? Michonne? Tara? Rosita? Aaron? Judith? Where the others okay?

"God damn it." You muttered to yourself as you watched the vehicles disappear in the distance, you were so close to Saviours base, but you had to go back to Alexandria, you had to make sure everyone was okay. You had memorised every road and every turn you had taken so once you knew the others were safe you would come back here and finish what you started.

You found an old beat up truck that was still in working condition which you managed to hotwire and within an hour and a half of driving you could see Alexandria's gates in the distance and you sighed with relief.

"Hey! Open the gates it's me." You shouted sticking your head out the window as you looked towards the guard post to find Rick standing there staring at you in disbelief before he quickly disappeared and within 30 seconds the gate opened as you climbed out the truck, walking through the gate.

You walked in, standing a few metres away as Rick shut the gate back up before he turned looking at you for a few seconds before he pulled you into a hug.

"You're here. Are you okay? Is the baby okay?" Rick suddenly questioned pulling away to let you speak and you quickly looked at the ground feeling tears burning in your eyes, you didn't want to cry. You had cried too much in the past few days and you were done with letting your emotions take over.

"I-I lost the baby... I don't wanna talk about it." You said softly still staring at the ground and before Rick could respond you heard the others running over to you.

"Y/N!" Michonne shouted as you turned around to find Tara, Rosita, Aaron, Eric and Carl who was holding Judith all walking towards the two of you with smiles on their faces. "Are you and the baby okay? You weren't in a good condition when Sasha took you to Hilltop."

"She lost the baby." Rick answered and you looked over at him with a sad smile, glad that he told them. But you didn't come all the way back to Alexandria for this, you came back to see what Negan and the Saviours did.

"What happened here? I saw Eugene in Negan's truck. What happened?" You questioned not giving the others anytime to respond as you stared at Rick.

"Negan came. Killed Spencer and Olivia. Eugene made a bullet for Rosita and she tried to kill Negan, it didn't work, and Negan took Eugene with him when he left." Rick explained, and you nodded taking in the news before you began to walk towards yours and Daryl's house. "Y/N what are you doing?"

"Getting my weapons, then I'm going back to Hilltop to tell Maggie and the others what happened and then I'm going to get Daryl back." You replied over your shoulder as you walked towards the house down the road.

"The Saviours took all our weapons." Rosita shouted causing you to stop. What did she just say?

"Crap. So, we have no guns?" You questioned turning back to them and Rick shook his head as other people from Alexandria began walking towards the group after hearing all the commotion. Did they take my bow as well? Someone is going to die if my bow is gone.

"Y/N isn't okay, there's something different about her." Rosita muttered so you couldn't hear as you walked off, but you could hear every word.

"She just lost her unborn baby and Daryl was taken. Giver her a break." Rick responded before you walked into your house.

Everything was broken and destroyed. The coffee table was flipped upside down, books and glass covered the floor and you didn't even want to look in the kitchen. Instead, you wondered into the lounge room and you sighed with relief when you spotted your bow on the floor next to the couch.

You grabbed it making sure it wasn't broken before holding it up in front of you as you pulled the string back till it touched your cheek. You smiled to yourself before slinging the bow strap over your shoulder and walking back out towards the gate where everyone was still standing.

"We'll visit the others at Hilltop in a few days and try talk Gregory into helping us fight the Saviours. Just don't go after them alone Y/N." Rick said once you reached the group, but you shook your head.

"If it was Michonne or Carl or Judith, you would do the same too, Rick. I have to try." You replied as you began walking towards the gate. Daryl would do it for you, no matter what the consequences were, you knew he would try and get you back.

"You don't even know if he's still alive, you'll just get yourself killed for nothing." A voice suddenly said causing you to snap your head around to find Tobin standing in front of the group staring at you with his arms crossed.

"What did you just say?!" You questioned, sudden anger taking over as you turned around to face him.

"I don't mean any disrespect. You're one of our leaders, Alexandria and the Hilltop need you especially against the Saviours and you can't do that when your dead. It's not worth the risk." Tobin stated as Rick took a step forward noticing your hands form fists by your side as you tried to control your anger.

"He's my husband!" You snapped glaring at the older man as he shook his head.

"He's probably dead already, it's not worth it." The man responded but that was it, you had enough with this asshole. You heard Rick shout at you to stop obviously knowing what you were about to do but there was no stopping you. Nobody talked about Daryl like that.

You took a few steps towards Tobin before slamming your fist into his jaw forcing the man to stumble backwards. Your knuckles erupted in pain but by the look on Tobin's face, his jaw hurt a lot more than your knuckles, but it wasn't enough. You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and punched him square in nose before Rick pulled you off him.

"You say something like that again, I won't stop with a broken nose." You threatened glaring at Tobin who was holding his now bleeding nose as the others all stared at you in shock.

"Y/N!" Rick shouted from behind you, still holding your arms in case you started to fight again, but you shook your head shrugging off Ricks grip as you walked back to the gate opening it.

"I will see you guys later." You muttered not turning back as you closed the gate behind yourself and climbed into the truck. You glanced down at your now bloodied knuckles as you gripped the steering wheel tighter trying to forget what Tobin said. Daryl was alive. He had to be alive.

Your truck ran out of gas nearly an hour ago, but at least you were near Hilltop, so it wasn't too far to walk. But as soon as Hilltop's walls came into view so did the Saviours vehicles causing you to quickly duck into the woods out of sight as you sat and waited for them to leave.

By the time the Saviours left the sun was staring to set along the horizon and you knew Maggie wouldn't let you leave until the next morning, but you had to. You had to get Daryl back.

"You're back! Kal open the gates." Maggie ordered as you looked up at the guard platform to find her standing there with a huge smile. At least that's a sign that she is feeling better.

"Negan killed Spencer and Olivia and has taken Eugene with him after he made Rosita a bullet." You shouted as the gates began to open and you walked in as Maggie climbed down the stairs. "I just came by to tell you and to grab a bottle of water."

"Wait, you're leaving? You can't leave." Maggie said grabbing your shoulder as you began walking towards the trailers to get some water, forcing you turn around to face her.

"I have to! I tracked the Saviours for miles. I nearly found their fucking base!" You yelled in frustration as you rubbed your hands over your face to try calm yourself down. "I have to go back out there and get Daryl. Who knows what Negan is doing to him! I have to-"

"Y/N stop!" Maggie shouted but it wasn't in anger, she almost sounded happy. You looked up at her in confusion and she was smiling. Why the hell is she smiling right now? "I will give you guys some privacy." She said before walking back towards the ladder to the guard platform as you watched her in confusion. What the hell is she talking about?

"Y/N?" A husky southern voice called and you froze, your heartbeat skyrocketing. You could recognise that voice anywhere, but it can't be him. That's it, you had finally reached your tipping point, you were going crazy.

Slowly you turned around towards the voice just to prove to yourself that you were hearing things, but as you did you spotted him. Daryl was here. He was actually here. You watched him for a few seconds as he came out from behind the trailers towards you, he was wearing a long sleeve black button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up in his signature Daryl style, he wasn't wearing his angle winged vest and you instantly knew the Saviours still had it. But Daryl was here. He was alive and that's all that mattered.

Tears began filling your eyes as you ran to him, it would have only been a couple seconds as the two of you ran towards each other, but it felt like a life time before you finally wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he hugged you spinning you around.

You hugged Daryl tightly afraid that if you let him go then he would be taken away from you again. You could feel Daryl shaking as he hugged you and you knew he was crying. You hugged him tighter pulling his head into the crook of your neck as you ran your fingers through his hair, you knew you had tears in your eyes, but you held them back. You had to be strong for Daryl right now, he must have gone through hell when he was with the Saviours, you had to be strong for him.

"I love you so much, Daryl." You whispered as he lifted his head to look at you before pulling you in for a kiss. His lips hit yours as he cupped your cheeks deepening the soft kiss before he pulled away as his eyes scanning you up and down to make sure you were okay. You were going to have to tell him about the miscarriage, but you had no idea how to say it.

"Are you okay? They hurt ya, is the baby okay?" Daryl asked his voice croaky from the crying as his hand slowly went to your stomach where the baby use to be and your heart broke, but you couldn't hold it back anymore as tears began falling down your cheeks.

"I-I lost the baby. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." You sobbed looking down at the ground, unable to look Daryl in the eyes. It was your fault. You should have never shouted at Negan when he was taunting Rosita. "It's my fault." You mumbled as Daryl quickly pulled you into his chest letting you cry into him.

"It ain't ya fault Y/N. It's the Saviours, they did this." Daryl said as his kissed the top of your head before walking you over to one of the benches as you both sat down. "I shouldn't have left ya back at Alexandria. I was just so angry at Dwight, I didn't even process the fact that ya said you're pregnant until it was too late. Then when Dwight pulled me out that van I saw you sitting there with the rest of the group... I thought that was the end. I thought..." Daryl began to say but stopped as he looked up at the stars in the sky trying to gather his thoughts. He was opening up to you which was something he didn't do often and when he did it was only to you.

When Beth was killed, you saw how Daryl just shutdown, he barely said a word to you for a week. But, eventually he opened up to you about it. It took time, but he slowly let you back in and since then he stopped trying hide his issues and emotions from you because he knew you would help him and keep whatever he said between the two of you. You knew this was different from all the previous times something bad had happened. But Daryl would eventually talk to you about it, you wouldn't push him for answers, you knew better than that. If he wasn't ready to talk, you would only push him further away by trying to force him. So, you stayed silent, resting your head on his shoulder as you patiently waited for him to find the words he was looking for.

"They had me locked in a cell. Blasting this ridiculous happy song at all hours of the day. I was in the cell for a few days. They would give me bred with dog food once a day but that was it. Dwight eventually took me out the cell, making me work on their fence line chaining up walkers with other workers or prisoners I wasn't sure. I tried escapin' once, it didn't work and Negan told his men to teach me a lesson. After that they threw me back in the bloody cell." Daryl explained shaking his head as took a deep breath and you knew this was hard for him.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." You said softly but Daryl shook his head before continuing.

"I was so close to givin' up Y/N, I didn't see a way out... But the thought of you and our unborn baby, it the only thing keeping me going. And when someone slipped me a key, I escaped and found Jesus sneaking around the place and he bought me here." He said and you nodded as you grabbed his hand holding in your lap. He wasn't telling you everything, you knew he left out pieces of information but he would tell you when he was ready. "Maggie told me ya went to Alexandria but convinced me to stay and wait for you to get back. I could tell something was wrong, but she just told me to wait for you. God, Y/N, I am so sorry ya had to go through the miscarriage alone. I'm your husband. I am meant to protect ya. Keep ya safe. But I couldn't do it."

"Hey." You suddenly said turning to face him as you lifted his chin up so he was looking at you. "You have kept me safe for all these years. The farm. The prison. Terminus. The church. Alexandria. I'm still alive because of you. You're my husband and I love you more than anything, but it wasn't your fault that you weren't here. This is on Negan and the Saviours and they will pay for what they have done." You said and Daryl nodded as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders pulling you close.

"I missed ya so much baby girl." Daryl said softly, kissing your forehead as the two of you sat on the bench staring up at the stars. You didn't want the moment to end. Just the two of you, sitting alone in the still night air. No walkers moaning. No guns firing. No people arguing. It was perfect and neither of you moved or talked for the next few minutes as you enjoyed the rare moment.

MASTERLIST / Next Chapter

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