#Logan can’t remember him unless virge is in front of him

[xlehukax]

Still Beating Heart

Foreword: Hello! I’ve been working on this thing for a little while now, and it’s finally done! This fanfiction is set in the Pediatric Doctors AU that I made, that you can learn more about here.  It’s done in conjunction to writings by @eeveeeclair246​, to who has the first installment of this series, titled Inefficent Iron, which you can find here. And, if you don’t want to read on Tumblr, I get it! This will also be on Archives in a hot minute, so check my Masterpost for the link. Now, on with the show!

Ships: Roman x Virgil, Implied Remus x Logan

Word Count: 10215

Warnings: LANGUAGE, Alcoholism, Bars, Panic Attacks, Medical Issues (ie. weak hearts), Cheating, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Rape, that creeping feeling of regret. 

Summary: Virgil’s always been the quiet nurse, the prickly one, the don’t talk to me unless there’s an issue one. Roman’s fresh out of a relationship, and looking to go out on the town, and needs a friend to go along with. And Virgil can’t say no to his crush, even if they work in the same place. 

~~~~

It’s just another day at the office: by that, Virgil means, Patton’s handing out cookies, Logan’s being a work-aholic and refuses to let any of the patients go to Janus, in which is being very meticulous and annoyingly good at his job and refusing to let Virgil do his, Remus is going through the latest urine samples, and Roman is doing what Roman does best. Ranting about his latest breakup while painting his nails in the receptionist booth. 

And Virgil just happens to be the only one around, after Patton leads the last patient of the day to Logan and the waiting room finally empties. Virgil simply sighs in defeat, and tries to shrink into his nurse uniform. Let it be known, he did not choose to be there. Or ever.

“Emo, are you even listening?” 

“Yup, yes, I am, absolutely,” 

“Alright, just had to make sure, you know, you tend to ignore me, which you’d think is impossible but you never cease to surprise me in that regard. Anyway, so this guy, Ethan- total dreamboat, eyes bluer than you’d ever believe. So I met him on this app, and we went for drinks a few weeks ago: and thirty minutes in, I’m in love. He’s a painter. Sweetest guy- we end up at his apartment, and you know- but I was in it for the long haul. Virgil, I was really ready for a long-term with this guy. He seemed  like he was down for it too… and then, just yesterday, you know what I found in his apartment?” 

“Another person,” Virgil sighs.

“Some floozy, blond and covered in hickeys, and Ethan painting her. Like, I didn’t know what to be more offended about: the fact that he cheated on me or that he doesn’t have a sexy painting of me!” 

“Mhmm…” Virgil’s almost fallen asleep, and doesn’t even notice Roman hovering utop him until he’s right in his face. 

“Virgil-” Roman shouts, and Virgil startles right into Roman’s arms. Which he now is realizing quite quickly are not just incredibly strong because they hold his weight easily, but landing their faces inches apart. Virgil sucks in a gasp- Roman smirks. “Hey there… you know, you’re not too bad looking yourself. Under all that makeup, you’re quite the princess, aren’t you?” It takes Virgil a moment to craft a response, he’s so scatterbrained and blushing. 

“Fuck off Princey, I’m not your latest conquest,” Virgil hisses, still a large flush on his features. Roman flicks his nose. 

“Yeah, but you’re still cute. Maybe I should date you~” 

“In your fucking dreams- you cycle through boyfriends so fast, I’ll be dust in the wind,” 

“Hmm,” Roman still hasn’t let Virgil go, and it is not helping the warmth in his face whatsoever, “Can’t argue with that.” And then Virgil is unceremoniously dumped onto the chair he was sitting in, with Roman towering above him. Did he always have those pretty eyes? He’s got these fantastically plump lips, it really shows when he’s smirking like that. And that hair is quite… quite royal-  now that he’s looking at it- 

Bloody hell, stop, now’s not the time to fawn, Virgil curses at himself. Virgil has always been introverted, and this- this interaction, Roman’s boldness with him… it’s completely unfamiliar. A bold move, reaching into his space, completely ignoring all of the protective glares and hisses that Virgil had in place. Disregarded his shields completely. Virgil has been harboring a bit of an infatuation with this confident musical wonder as of late, and this is not helping matters. Roman chuckles, running a hand through his hair. 

“Well, J.Delightful, now I simply must make use of this situation,” 

“What are you getting at-” Virgil snarls, to which Roman simply grins widely.

“You’re going to be my new wingman. There’s a open mic at a gay bar I frequent, and if I’m going to find somebody, then I need someone else to be my safety buddy. You know, watch for creepy old men who hit on me and all that jazz,” Roman pushes, eyes alight with excitement, “Patton won’t go with me anymore because he doesn’t like the loud noises, Logan doesn’t drink, I’m not asking Janus to come he’ll scare them all away or steal the attention, and Remus- well, you can probably guess why not Remus, and it’s not because people approach us because we’re twins. I can’t believe I’ve never asked you to come with me! It’ll give us some good outside of work bonding time too. Isn’t it great?” 

“I don’t want to,” Virgil grumbles. Roman tuts. 

“Oh come on now- am I so hard to be around?” No, Virgil thinks, and that’s the problem. “Pfft, if it’s really so hard, I’ll just cave and bring around someone else.” 

“No…” Virgil whispers, so quiet that he’s sure it’s nearly silent, and Roman’s eyebrow perks up. 

“Hmm? Was that a no I just heard?” 

“I just- I’m not good in social situations, do you even really want me there? I’ll probably just screw your chances, scare people off,” 

“Perfect! I’ll need someone to scare someone off,” 

“But- I’ll damper on your fun,” 

“Never! You will never cease to be fun to poke fun at,” 

“I don’t know, Princey. You really want me there?” Virgil says, looking away and speaking in hushed tones still. Roman grabs his pale hands, squeezing them tightly. 

“I need you, Virge,” Roman purrs. Virgil blushes harder, somehow, and tucks his head into his shoulder and murmurs his agreement. Damn it. “Wonderful! I’ll pick you up at 9, how does that sound?” 

“Wait, tonight?” Virgil squawks. Roman drops his hands, blessedly, and steps back from him shrewdly. Smart, as Virgil’s immediate response is to throw a punch. Roman easily sidesteps. 

“Oh, yes- did I not mention that? Tonight. It’s Friday,” Roman nods, smiling wickedly. Oh my god, I need to bathe, I need to find something nice-ish to wear, unearth my good eyeshadow, fuck it all I need new skin- 

“Hey, hey, don’t freak. You don’t have to get all fancy for me: wear what makes you comfortable, and I’ll stop by your apartment at 9,” 

“Wait a second- how do you know where I live?” Virgil says, suddenly horrified. Roman snickers. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Uh, yes I would,” Virgil growls. 

“Pfft, I need to know everyone’s addresses, I’m the receptionist, Virge. It’s my job,” Roman scoffs. Virgil blushes: well, now he feels foolish. But it reminds him: Roman and himself work together. It doesn’t matter if something comes out of this, as it is- Remus and Logan are constantly being sickeningly cute around the office. The real problem is if he screws this up, and still has to go to work with him the next day. This is a really bad idea. But… When will he have another golden opportunity like this one? 

“Okay, okay- 9, right?”

“Yes! Thank you, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance- you’re going to have so much fun. I’ll sing a song just for you, as thanks,” Roman grins cheekily, Virgil blows the hair out of his eyes, attempting nonchalant despite the whirlwind of anxiety confined within. 

“Alright, fine, whatever. Should I- should I dress a certain way? Wait, is there a dress code? How much money should I bring? Is it credit or cash? Do they have food there? Will I have to dance?” Virgil shudders at the thought of dancing, even with Roman, who is currently blinking rapidly under the onslaught of questions. 

“Okay erm, just dress how you normally do? Scratch that, a peg hotter than a hoodie, thank you. No dress code, have you ever been to a bar? Just bring your wallet, think about how many drinks you want, and I’m dancing whether you’re going to or not, so-” 

Virgil takes notes internally, already too worried about this whole ordeal. He should really just cancel, say he just remembered something, but he knows he’ll regret that later. Either way, the only other thing he’s doing tonight is hanging with his spider, Missy, and watching Unsolved Mysteries. So…

“I’ll- I’ll see you later then, Princey,” Virgil murmurs, before gathering the few things he has around him and breezing past whilst trying to make it appear like he’s not running away. 

“See you!! At least pretend to be excited- It’s going to be one hell of a night, Virge- you won’t regret this!” 

As Virgil silently clocks out (Patton will take over the end of the day nurse activities, it’s fine) he thinks to himself, I certainly hope not. 

~~~~~

And then, it’s already 8:50, too soon. Virgil showered, twice, because the first time he used his usual unscented body wash for work and not the one that smells like lavender and violets and by jove Roman inviting him out after work deserves more than unscented. Then the clothes resulted in a mini fashion show in front of the mirror for an hour, where upon he finally settled on a black button down over a grey undershirt with some black ripped jeans (it took him another 25 minutes to decide on mostly untucked in a ‘I just threw this on’ careless feel), and his favorite purple and black hoodie just in case it got cold… of which he ended up shivering right away anyhow and put it on anyway. 

And then a whole other hour on makeup: a very tasteful black eyeliner and purple and black smokey eye with just a hint of dark glitter. Some lipstick, and a little dust on his cheekbones, and Virgil finally felt confident, an emotion that lasted all of ten minutes when he realized that he hadn’t chosen a pair of shoes yet. 

The shoes took another thirty minutes alone. And then the idea of changing his hair up a little occurred to him, and that was another hour wasted that ended with keeping his regular low-hanging hair anyway. 

And now he’s trying not to look like he’s waiting, because he doesn’t want to be waiting on Roman, but he needs to see if his car comes up, but he doesn’t want to be desperate, so he’s panicking slightly in his apartment with all the lights off because he was going to leave and now he’s freaking out instead, because he doesn’t know if it’s more appropriate to wait for Roman to text him that he’s outside and head downstairs after that or to just head downstairs now like a normal person or maybe he just shouldn’t go. His head slowly stops pounding, and his breath evens out, the oncoming anxiety attack fading away with the thought. Yeah, maybe Virgil can stay home instead- there’s too many variables anyway. 

When Virgil was young, he was always making decisions like this. He was sick, not like crazy-sick, but sick. Anemia, coupled with coronary heart disease, topped off with bronchitis. He had weak lungs, weak heart, weak blood- his whole body was frail, and sometimes his blood didn’t move around fast enough to make him work right. There was no running around, no nothing: he was constantly worried about every little thing, because his parents were. Did you take your pills today? How was your bloodwork? Are you feeling woozy? Until Virgil just stopped leaving the house whatsoever. It was just easier. There was no chance of passing out while crossing a street and getting run over, never going to embarrass himself at school by having a heart attack… 

And wouldn’t you know, staying at home made him only sicker. No muscle mass whatsoever, pale as a ghost, always so cold, so frail from not getting enough nutrients. His parents made the best decision of their lives and set him down the path that led him here by… by hiring a nurse. A kind nurse, with funny jokes and encouragement, who helped him go outside for the first time in months. Who taught him little things to make him stronger, like light weights. Virgil grew out of his heart disease, and though he still had bronchitis and anemia, he regularly took medications which made them easy to handle. And just like that, Virgil was no longer sickly (at least externally, he still had anxiety, but he’s managing it). Then he was a normal teenager, who wanted to be strong enough to help someone in the same way that nurse had. 

 Here Virgil is now- and he’s not going to fall into that same loop he was in as a kid. He’s better now, medicating only when needed. Virgil is all lean-muscle, and he’s better than his anxiety. He can totally go on a date-not-a-date with his crush to a gay karaoke bar. Totally. Taking a deep breath, Virgil checks his phone (which is fully charged with two mini backup batteries on his keys tucked into his back pocket) and realizes with horror that Roman texted a whole six minutes ago while Virgil was panicking that he was waiting downstairs.

“Shit!” Virgil slams his door, and just runs down the stairs instead of taking the elevator (he only lives on the fourth floor anyway, because anything higher than like 10 fire ladders can’t get to and there’s a 50% possibility of surviving a fall from four stories), and hopes his meticulous makeup job isn’t ruined. By Roman’s expression, he doesn’t think it did- 

He had been grinning teasingly, mouth open to say some quip, but his jaw goes slack when he sees Virgil. Roman’s eyes are wide, leaning up against his red car, as he watches Virgil stop by the curb only a few feet in front of him. Roman whistles.

“Damn, Virgil… you look- damn. Wowza, do you clean up nice,” Roman falls over his words, making Virgil flush. Roman thinks I look good- I did good, it’s all good. 

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Princey,” Virgil whispers. Because really, he doesn’t: Roman’s white dress shirt has the top two buttons undone, showing off his pectorals and just a hint of his abs, and some nice pants. His hair is done over to the side, and one crown earring hangs from an ear. It’s really a delightful look, but makes Virgil feel out of place with his dark clothes and his heavy makeup. Roman only has a light bit. “Did I go overboard? I can- I can wash it off,” Virgil asks, hating that he’s offering to change this intensive and difficult look for a stupid guy.

“No, no- you look gorgeous. Seriously Virge, you should do my makeup. Like, I feel outdone, and I never feel that way! Come on, get on in, let’s go,” Roman shoos Virgil into the car, where he feels just as much if not more awkward. Still, he’s excited, out of this world excited: Roman likes how he looks. Roman finds him attractive, and they’re going to the club, together. 

Not together, Virgil- you’re just his buddy. Virgil has to remind him that this is not a date, that he’s gotten all worried and dressed up for sitting at a bar and watching Roman flirt with other men. It makes his heart ache, but at least they’re together now .

“We’re almost there, Emo. You ready to have a good time?” 

“I uh- erm, I mean. Yeah. Yeah sure, I’ll have fun sitting in the corner doing fucking nothing, that’s what I’m ready for,” Virgil’s suddenly defensive and feels horrible about the crude outburst. 

“Oh my- Virge, do you not want to go? I don’t want to force you into anything!” No, I do, I do! 

“Eh, it’s whatever. I got all dressed up, be a shame to not go out. I just- I don’t like to- I’m-” 

“I know you don’t like being left alone! Don’t worry, I’ll be close by the whole time. I’ll watch you if you watch me, yeah?” 

“Why are you so worried about being watched? You’ve clearly been to a lot of these things…” Virgil changes the subject to hide his flush at Roman’s empathy for him. 

“Ah, well- I have been to a lot of these things, and I’ve had some… unfavorable experiences. A few times now, guys have put stuff in my drinks, or waited for me to get drunk and then take me home. It’s… it’s not what I want. I go to meet new people, not to get a one-night stand that I didn’t want. They don’t make me feel good. I hate it,” Roman growls at the road, and Virgil makes what might be a rash decision and places his long pale hands on Roman’s tanned worn ones by the gearshift. Roman looks over at him, and Virgil ducks his head. Roman smiles. 

“I’ll watch out for you, I promise. I don’t really drink either, ‘cuz of my blood issues, so I can drive home too,” Virgil murmurs, still looking away. Roman moves his hand around, grips his tightly. Virgil doesn’t look at it, but knows they’re intertwined, and it makes his head hurt. 

“Thank you, Virge. Aaand, we’re here,” the bar is bright in the dark evening, a neon sign advertising it, and Roman pulls into a parking space behind the building. He takes his key, and reaches out to put it in Virgil's pocket. “Don’t trust myself to hand em over, this thing’s my baby. I’m trusting you, though, and you gotta be good about that, alright?” 

Virgil nods, and allows Roman to exit the car and help him out the other side. Roman throws his arm over Virgil’s shoulders, and saunters into the bar. As expected, it is loud. Someone’s already singing, a song by Chicago, and is doing pretty okay. There are bright lights here and there, some spots illuminated completely and others in darkness. There’s a whole load of people here too: some make eyes at him as he walks in. Virgil sticks to Roman, who chuckles, as they both head to the bar. The bartender seems to recognize Roman. 

“Here for the open mic, are you, King?” 

“You know it! Sign me right on up,” Roman laughs. Roman’s arm drops from Virgil’s shoulders. The bartender rolls his eyes, swipes some green dyed locks from his vision and writes Roman’s name on a pad. 

“What song are you singing?” 

“It’s a surprise, like usual, Vincent, I don’t know why you even bother asking,” 

“Uh huh. And I see you brought a friend… you wanna sing too, baby-cheeks?” Vincent asks, leaning forwards. 

Virgil hisses at him, then clears his throat.

“I don’t fucking sing,” he snarls, adding in his mind, in public. Vincent smiles knowingly. 

“Aha, a feisty one. You really know how to pick em’, eh? Can I get you a drink then?” Virgil feels like he’s about to explode: this is not what he signed up for. He is here to be with Roman and watch out for him, not take this guy’s shit. Roman notices, and slings his arm once more over him. 

“Nah, just a work colleague. He’s a nurse~ and doesn’t drink. It’s a shame, I know, but it’ll work better in my favor anyway. I’ll save money on the taxi. Incredible Sulk, how does a black coffee sound?” 

“I guess that’s okay,” Virgil grumbles, glaring at this man even as he shrugs and complies. They both take a seat at the bar, Roman ordering some complicated fancy thing to match his personality and Virgil immediately hunching over his hot coffee. It’s surprisingly good for a bar, bitter yet flavourful, and Virgil finds himself smiling down at it. 

“Eh, I think that smile says it’s more than just okay!” Roman purrs, shimmying closer to Virgil and bumping their shoulders. It seems as though the alcohol is already having an effect, his disposition somehow brighter. Virgil shies away slightly. Someone else saddles up to the bar and introduces himself. This man has long swoopy raven hair, and is even more lanky than Logan. He leans by Roman, eyes colder than Virgil would like. The dark haired fellow decides to listen in on the conversation… just in case. 

“Hey, do I know you from somewhere?” the stranger says. Roman puts his hand on the bar, slurps the rest of his drink down in one go.

“I’m not sure- I do tend to get around. Where do you think you know me from, blue eyes?” Oh no. The guy’s got blue eyes, he didn’t even notice that. Virgil mourns his only chance at getting with Roman- this guy’s stealing it. 

 “Oh, I know! The theatre, right? You were Jason Dean in the Heathers production! Scary shit, man. You’re a fantastic singer. Hey, can we get another drink?” the stranger waves over Vincent, who fixes Roman another bright cocktail. Roman immediately starts fiddling with the straw, and looks up at the stanger. 

“The name’s Roman. What’s yours?”

“I’m Lucian. It’s nice to meet you. Man, it’s so loud here: I wish we could go~,” Lucian says. Virgil narrows his eyes at the stranger, takes another sip of coffee. Roman smirks, and turns and winks at Virgil as if to say Look at this catch. Virgil tries to smile, but is pretty sure it’s just a grimace. It may just be Virgil’s luck (despite how it affects Roman) but Virgil notices Lucian dropping something in Roman’s drink. Virgil slams the table, slaps Lucian, and pushes the drink away. He fists his hand in Lucian’s shirt, able to lift the man a foot or two in the air. Patrons gawk at the events unfolding, Roman seems shocked. 

“Don’t fucking touch Roman’s drink, what the fuck did you put in there you bastard?” 

“Dude- that’s my drink. It was a little additive, I can consume alcohol without risk without it! He seemed to be enjoying it so much, I asked for one too, can you please- let me down, you’re hurting me-” Virgil snarls, but drops him anyway. Roman touches Virgil’s shoulder gently. 

“He’s right, it’s his drink, Virgil. Thank you for defending me, but really it’s okay-” Roman reassures him, smiling placatingly, and all Virgil can feel is embarrassed. Embarrassed out of his mind and his anxiety is shooting through the roof. 

“I-I… I- uh… I-” to make matters worse, another man comes stomping up to him, throws his drink on Virgil. His hoodie is now soaked, his shirt too. Virgil’s lower lip trembles. He grits his jaw against them, holding it in. Despite the fact that he’s made a total fool of himself in front of Roman. Virgil wants to bite his nails, to go home, to run away and never return. This new man points his finger right in Virgil’s face. 

“Who the hell do you think you are, grabbing my husband’s shirt like that?” he growls. Virgil wants to hide in his sopping wet hoodie. Hide and never come back. 

“I- erm, uh- umm-” 

“My friend here is very sorry, there’s been a misunderstanding. Hey, can I buy the both of you a drink? Tell me how you met,” Roman leads them both away, looking pityingly at Virgil, “How bout you go to the bathroom and clean yourself up a little, huh? I’ll take care of this.” 

Virgil ducks his head and runs with his tail between his legs. He throws himself into the surprisingly clean stall and locks it tight before falling down on the seat fully clothed. I can’t believe you did that you fucking idiot you’ll never shape up what were you thinking doing some stupid stunt like that? You’ve ruined it. Ruined everything. There’s no way Roman will ever want you now. Virgil’s panic attack is coming on quickly, like a train hurtling down a track with no end in sight. He doesn’t want it to happen, but he starts to cry. 

Usually, Virgil looks to his familiar hoodie for comfort. But his hoodie is soaked, and Virgil is shivering in it. He should take it off. But he doesn’t want to, he just wants to wallow in it and wither away. 

You’ll never amount to anything. You should have just stayed inside: no one would have missed you. Roman had to clean up after your mess, you were supposed to be helping and now you’re just rotting in the bathroom like an idiot. Why did you even come, if you’re just going to be a let down? 

Virgil’s breath is coming out in uneven gasps, his heart is palpitating dangerously. He really shouldn’t be alone, he should go out and- no, no, no. His skin is too tight, his head is too small, and his hands are pressing bruises into his arms, he is holding them so tight. What is he supposed to do again? When his thoughts get too big for his mind and he feels like fainting, feels like how he was when he was younger and like his heart could just give out any minute and the next time he blinked open his eyes he’d be on a hospital bed. 

His hazy, anxiety-filled mind vaguely recalls a conversation he had with Logan  once, after he had pulled him back from an attack in the workplace (he mixed up two patients and fell apart in an empty room) that he should… he should ask for help. Call me, he had said, no matter the time. Just call me for help, and I’ll talk it out with you. 

Logan is on speedial, Logan, Logan can help- with shaking fingers, Virgil can just make out the emergency phone button on his cell to call Logan. 

The ringing of the phone helps station Virgil, stations him better than the pain in his hands. It picks up on the fifth ring. 

“Hello, Doctor Logan Berry speaking.” 

“Logan,” Virgil’s voice sounds so fucking raspy and teary, sounds so horrendously uncertain, “You- you said to call, and- if you’re busy just hang up, it’s fine you don’t have to worry, actually this was a bad idea, I’m going to hang up-” 

“You will do no such thing, Virgil. Stay on the line with me. Scale of one to ten, how bad?” 

“I- uh, I dunno, probably like- like a seven? I messed everything up, Lo, I- fuck, I can’t do anything right-” 

“Well, that is one foul-tempered lie. Let’s calm down first, yes, and then you’ll tell me all about what happened. I’m sure it’s better than it seems,” Janus’s voice, even hindered through the phone, forces Virgil to relax. He had no idea that Janus could hear, but apparently they’re together. His mind recalls lamely that tonight is when they get together to go over payments and make sure everything is in order. A part of him is glad that Janus can hear; He’s like a hypnotist with his voice, a snake. Virgil nods, then another wave of idiocy flows through him because it’s over the phone. 

“Okay, Virgil, now exhale through your mouth. I want to hear it through the telephone,” Logan instructs, no nonsense. 

Virgil shakily breathes out. 

“Good. Now close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose. I’m going to count to four, alright?” 

“O-okay,” Virgil complies, breathing it in. Janus counts him off rhythmically over the phone: Logan’s on the right and Janus on the left, and the result is relaxing. 

“Hold your breath now for seven seconds. I’ll count for you once more.” Janus-

“Exhale again, for a total of eight seconds. Here we go-” Logan- 

“Exceptional work, darling. You’re doing so well. Let’s repeat the process a few more times, how does that sound?” Janus-

Holy hell, do they make a good team. 

And just like that, Virgil feels better. His chest eases, his mind soothes, and he’s no longer shaking. 

“Thank you, both of you. That was- it was really fucking helpful. I don’t know what would happen if I was here alone,” 

“If you don’t mind me asking… where is here?” Logan asks, dry and with no sense of privacy whatsoever. 

“I’m at a bar with Roman. He- he invited me, because he wanted backup, and I made a total fool of myself. I got all aggressive on this guy who did nothing wrong,” 

“Aha, jealous?” There’s a sound of Janus wrestling the phone from Logan, much to his displeasure, “Just finish this weeks, Berry-” is heard through the phone. 

“Maybe… hey, wait a second! Who told you-” 

“I’m not blind, Virgil. Nor stupid. Don’t even try that on me. It might work on the nerd, and even Remus and Patton, but unlike them, I’m not clueless,” 

Virgil pouts, grunting softly. Is he really that obvious? 

“Whatever! And now… I’ve got no chance with him. I don’t know why I even came here, anyone could see that it was a stupid idea.” 

“No- well, yes, this was very stupid and most likely going to end in strife, but you still certainly have a chance! Remember, this is Roman we’re talking about: he’s a carousel when it comes to men, always changing.” 

“That’s part of the issue, Jan- where am I? I’ll be left behind, and have to watch as he finds a another and another and another-” 

“You’re starting to panic again, Virgil. Calm yourself. And I know that won’t happen.” 

“How?”

“You’re more perceptive, attentive, and caring than any of those guys will ever be. Roman would be even more of an idiot than either of us could possibly imagine if he were to let you go. Again, I am not blind: I see how good you are with the patients. You are careful and thoughtful. Despite how you might see yourself, Virgil, you are a good person. A wonderful person, who makes mistakes, but always fixes them. You do not leave them behind you. You feel empathy, and guilt, two very humane things, and you remedy your problems. That’s what happened with me, wasn’t it?” 

“Yeah… I guess, I guess you’re right,” Virgil’s blushing again. It’s true, that he doesn't like to leave things unsaid or unfinished: it makes him terribly worried, and the only solution he’s found is confronting them head on. Janus and Virgil had met long ago, when they were both younger: Janus had just started medical practices, and done work for Virgil. It ultimately failed and hurt Virgil more, which sparked deep hatred on Virgil’s side and a continued regret on Janus’s. They eventually reconciled, reuniting later when Virgil started out as a nurse, and everything had become much better. 

“Now, get back out there, darling. You’ll do great.” 

“...Thanks, Janus,” 

“Anytime,” and with that, Janus hangs up the phone to return to Logan. Virgil sighs to himself, and exits the stall: in the mirror, he sees his makeup all ruined. He washes it off, cleans his hoodie (which is relatively drier now) and ends up taking off the damp shirt as well. Thank goodness he’s wearing an undershirt: walking out topless seems hellish, and this only slightly better. 

It’s been a while since Virgil has gone anywhere without his hoodie on or makeup. He barely recognizes himself, and he sees this face every morning. But… it’ll be what it’ll be. Checking his phone, Virgil realizes that he’s been in the bathroom for… nearly two hours? 

Oh my god, I hope Roman hasn’t left yet-  Virgil flies out of the bathroom, holding his damp dress shirt and beloved hoodie in one crooked arm. Scanning the room, he notices Roman sitting at one of the small square tables watching some guy sing “Mad World” somewhat decently. Virgil sighs in relief, and walks over and sits right in front of him. 

“Princey, thank god you’re still here. I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” Virgil says, his voice softer than usual from all the crying. Roman looks at him, a smile curving on his features. 

“Hello there, you’re- you’re pretty,” Roman slurs slightly mid sentence, and Virgil gapes. Roman is drunk. Very drunk. So drunk, that he doesn’t recognize Virgil without his makeup and hoodie. While Virgil stares openmouthed, Roman reaches over and squeezes his bicep. “Ooh, you’re so strong too! Pretty face, and a hot body-” 

“Roman, you seriously don’t recognize me? Honest to god?” Virgil insists. Roman blinks slowly, but there’s no spark. Roman seriously has no idea, Virgil’s a stranger. 

He should probably bring him home. 

Or… he can start over. Roman won’t remember it anyway: this might be his only chance. 

“I think I’d remember such a handsome prince” Roman huffs. Virgil, unsurprisingly, blushes. 

“That’s very kind of you. You don’t look half bad yourself,” Virgil purrs. 

“Oh- you’re a flirt too! I like you,” Roman smiles widely, “Do you want to get another drink?” 

“I think you’ve had enough… do you want to go up and sing instead?” Virgil suggests, scooching closer to Roman. Touching his clothed shoulder, he feels how warm Roman is. Roman snuggles up to Virgil just a tad- he’s over affectionate, and with no filter, and no sense. It’s adorable, and Virgil is glad he got here when he did, because who knows who would take advantage of this cuddly child-like man? 

Now he understands why Roman needs a drinking buddy. 

“I love singing, I’m very good at it. I like Disney too. Do you like Disney?” 

“Yes, I like Disney,” Virgil snorts. They’ve had this debate over and over: the both of them like the franchise, though Virgil sees the darker bits that Roman tends to ignore. 

“You wanna- you wanna sing Love is an Open Door with me? I like that song, it’s a good song-” Roman rambles, looking excited. Virgil hates public speaking, let alone public speaking, but… he doesn’t know anyone here, what’s the issue? 

“That sounds good. Let’s go sign up, shall we?” Virgil suggests, Roman excitedly clinging to Virgil’s arm. 

“You’re so cold, it’s so nice,” Roman murmurs, rubbing his face on Virgil’s bare shoulder. Virgil can’t help but smile: his heart is beating fast, but in a fantastic way. Vincent doubletakes as they make it to the bar. 

“Hey you two- heading home? Ro looks pretty slammed…” 

“I’ll take him home in a bit. He wants to do one more song,” Virgil explains. Roman giggles, and Virgil’s heart does another flip. His smile widens. 

“Ah, sorry folks- Roman can’t do another one. He’s already exhausted the limit of five: you should have heard him sing some of those. An undercover celebrity, he is,” Vincent reaches over and mussies Roman’s hair, to which Virgil slaps his hand away. 

“Princey, did you hear? You can’t sing another one,” Virgil tells him, his voice still soft.

“Aww, really? I wanna- I wanna sing some ‘ore,” Roman pouts, his lower lips trembling. Virgil kisses his cheek, just a peck really, that’s all he can manage without exploding. Roman turns on a dime, sadness morphing to elation all at once. He leans in for another, to which Virgil declines, pushing him away with a palm. 

“Hey, how about I sing a song for you, huh? How does that sound?” Virgil asks, nervous beyond anything at singing in front of all these people, but Roman seems so ecstatic at the thought that Virgil knows he’ll be going through with it. 

“You sing? But you just-” gawks Vincent. Virgil glares at him. 

“Don’t act so surprised. And yes, I do. Just didn’t feel like saying it. Totally. When do I go up?” 

“After this guy,” Vincent points at the person going on stage, and Virgil steels himself for this experience. It’s okay, you’re the only one who’ll remember. It’ll be fine. Virgil starts walking closer to the stage, Roman hanging on him still. “Hey, dude, are you going to tell me what you’re singing? I’ll set it up for you,” 

“I got it. We’re good, right Princey?” 

“I’m so good, I’m the best, you’re so nice, gonna sing a song for me-” Roman rambles. Virgil shakes his head good-humoredly, adoring this side of him. Not suave or fanciful at all: only cute. They come to a table right by the stage, miraculously empty and clean. 

“Okay, Ro, you wanna sit here and watch?” Roman smiles, nodding quickly, and plops down in one of the chairs. Virgil goes beside him, fanning his confidence by reaching for his large hand. Just like in the car, Roman takes it and squeezes. 

“I’m so moved, you’re going to sing something for me! So romantic!” Roman gushes. Virgil blushes, rubbing his thumb on Roman’s sun-kissed hand. 

“I’ll sing it just for you: you know, I really don’t like public speaking. Or any of this stuff… but you’re not going to remember me, so I don’t think it’ll matter. I really really like you, Roman. I’ve known you for a while, so it wasn’t all at once, but you tease me with all of your flirty winks and tell me about how much you get around and today, calling me pretty- you’re destroying me, and you don’t even notice. You never do, and- Janus said that I’d be good for you. Grounding. A good boyfriend. I don’t know what he sees in me, but clearly you don’t see that. You like- you like grand gestures, romance, and flirting… I can’t do any of that. Except for today, when I’m not nervous anymore, because you’re never going to remember this whole thing. It’ll just be for me. Just for me to remember, for you to enjoy now. You’ll never know how much I love you anyway, so it’s just for me. Just for poor heartsick Virgil,” Virgil tells him, under the lights and despite the singing in the background. Roman blinks a few times, not understanding. 

“I- uhm… I don’t understand, whadda ya mean?” Roman squints at him. Virgil sighs, presses their foreheads together and gets up. 

“Doesn’t matter. I only want to say… whatever, it doesn’t matter. It’s my turn to go,” and Virgil pulls away, waving slightly to the confused man, and hunches his shoulders to make him look small as he walks to the center of the stage. Scrolling through the music (it operates sort of like a karaoke machine), Virgil selects a song he knows. 

Virgil doesn’t particularly like his singing voice: his mother loves it, would sing along with him during Nightmare Before Christmas, and told him it was very nice. It’s kind of low, gentle, and the words flow into the next. 

“The dawn is breaking, a light shining through… you’re barely waking, and I’m tangled up in you,” Virgil sings quietly. It’s awkward, and he can’t look out into the audience at all, and he hears them ignore him. He takes a deep breath, and continues. “I’m open, you’re closed. Where I follow, you’ll go. I worry I won’t see your face light up again,” 

People are starting to notice Virgil, as his voice rises, and it’s frightening but also exhilarating. He refuses to make eye-contact with them, unlike Roman who always does, and speaking of him- it’s very clear that Roman’s watching, enraptured. Virgil can practically feel it. 

“Even the best fall down sometimes, even the wrong words seem to rhyme- Out of the doubt that fills my mind, I somehow find you and I, collide,” Someone in the crowd whistles, causing Virgil to struggle a bit, but he picks it up right after. He’s imagining that it’s only him and Missy and- Roman. Virgil glances up at Roman barely: he’s awestruck, and it fills Virgil’s heart with glee. 

“I’m quiet you know.You make a first impression. But I’ve found I’m scared to know you’re always on my mind,” Virgil messes up the lyrics a bit, but no one notices at all. They’re cheering him on, listening attentively- it helps him go on, return his gaze to the floor. 

“Even the best fall down sometimes, even the stars refuse to shine, out of the back you fall in time, somehow find, you and I- collide,” Virgil’s voice is still quiet: even as his confidence rises, he can’t seem to raise it at all. 

“Don’t stop here. I’ve lost my place. I’m close behind,” Virgil used to sing this song with his parents, when he was young: his mother and father would sing and dance with him. It has sentimental value, it reminds him of childhood and pain and love and survival. They used to sing it to him, comforting him with the words. He knows every one. 

“Even the best fall down sometimes. Even the wrong words seem to rhyme. Out of the doubt that fills your mind, you finally find that you and I collide. Finally find that you and I collide. You finally find you and I collide,” the music plays for a while longer, with Virgil humming along rhythmically. When it finally fades out, Virgil scurries off the stage to thunderous applause. It is way too much attention, all at once. On his way, he grabs Roman’s sleeve, dragging him out as people fawn. As they rapidly exit, Vincent calls out from the bar. 

“Hey, grump- I don’t sing, my ass! You sing gorgeous! Come back anytime, with or without Roman!” Virgil glares at him, and then he’s out into the parking lot. 

“Phew- that was- oh my god, that was exhilarating. Roman? What did… what did you mmfp-” Virgil was smiling until he was cut off by Roman’s lips on his. Virgil moans into it: it’s more decadent than he could have ever imagined. Roman’s lips are deceptively soft and taste like strawberries. He finally moves back for air, and Virgil leans against the car, holding his mouth. Did… did that just happen? It takes a second to register that a) Roman kissed him, and b) that it doesn’t matter because he’s not in his right mind. It’s worth nothing beyond right now… but it means so so much. Virgil will remember this for the rest of his godforsaken life. 

“Ro-Roman, what was that for?” Virgil murmurs, touching his lips addictively. 

“You’re the kindest guy I’ve ever met. God, I want to take you home. Handsome, and sweet, and caring and a voice of an angel. I wish I met you forever ago,” Roman says, approaching closer to Virgil until he’s pressed up against the car and can feel Roman’s warmth, “Fuck… I don’t even know your name, but you’re… you’re magic,” 

“You’re making me seem better than I am, really,” Virgil flushes, feeling all sorts of fuzzy feelings. Roman chuckles, coming in closer to lean his head on Virgil’s shoulders. 

“I don’t… I don’t think I am, beautiful… I just- I don’t want to go home alone tonight. I’m so freaking lonely, all the goddamn time. So lonely… it’s only me, and no one really cares, when it comes down to it,” Roman sighs, on the verge of tears. Virgil is dumbfounded: who would have thought? Roman, the Prince of Theatre, who sings songs to children and flirts easily, and never is by himself because he’s a magnet for conversation… is lonely. 

“Maybe we can be lonely together,” Virgil whispers aloud, meaning it to be internal but slipping out anyway. 

“Can… can we?” Roman pleads, “Please?” Virgil exhales: he’s so cute. Remember though- he’s not going to recall any of this. It hurts, all of a sudden, that Virgil is at once Roman’s world and at the same time an illusion. 

“Alright, alright. We’ll see,” Virgil smiles at him. Roman leans down for another kiss, and now Virgil lets him. What’s the harm? I’m the only one who will hurt. I can take it. “I should take you home now, huh? You can’t drive, you’re drunk,” 

“Pfft- I am not-” 

“You are,” Virgil rolls his eyes, unlocking his car, “Now get in.” Roman shuffles his feet around. Virgil glares. 

“In the car, Princey, you have to go home now,” he demands. Roman frowns, looks away stubbornly. And, just like a puppy, he’s adorable but persistent as all hell. Roman murmurs something under his breath, inaudible. Glancing at him kinder, Virgil asks him to speak up. 

“I don’t wanna go home, I wanna stay with you,” Roman mumbles, slightly louder. And, Virgil is struck right in the heart. My god, is it even legal to be that cute? Virgil sighs: he should bring Roman to his house, that’s what he had asked before he was intoxicated, and he definitely can’t take advantage of him, but… those eyes are begging for him to stay with him. He can’t refuse. 

“Okay, okay, you win. It’s going to be impossible to explain this to you in the morning, but whatever! I’ll drive you to my house,” Virgil agrees, and the look of pure elation on Roman’s face is more than reward enough. Though Virgil has to help Roman’s wobby body into the passenger seat and buckle him up, he can’t stop smiling. 

Even as he starts the car to drive it home. 

Even as Roman says he’s going to be sick. 

Even as he has to rush Roman upstairs to his apartment before he pukes all over the place, Virgil is happy. 

Roman hugs Virgil’s middle after he cleans him up. Missy and Roman get along swimmingly, Virgil offering to let him hold her, and Roman enraptured by her. He’s enthralled by Virgil lending him a toothbrush, seemingly blessed by the offering of a piece of toast to calm his stomach at the small kitchen bar. Roman stares at it, sitting on one of the stools. 

“Why are you so nice to me?” he wonders. Virgil frowns. Are people usually unkind to you? 

“This is normal, Princey. People are supposed to look out for one another,” 

“Oh. Yeah,” Roman says to himself. Virgil can’t hold back from reaching over and kissing his forehead. 

“Anytime you need, I’ll be nice to you. I don’t mean to be so prickly: it’s a defense mechanism. You only have to tell me you’d like some care, and I’ll give you everything,” Virgil tells him. This charming man, he hiccups and his eyes water as he blubbers. Virgil is good with a lot of things: crying crushes are not one of them. “Hey, no crying, don’t cry! Let’s go to bed, huh? Yeah, that sounds nice, doesn’t it?” 

Roman makes a pitiful little nod, and Virgil leads him to the bedroom. There’s only one… so either they share, or Virgil’s going to the couch. So, he tucks Roman into the warm black duvet and brushes his forehead as a way of good night. As he goes to leave, Roman grabs onto his arm. 

“Stay with me? Please?”

“Ro, I don’t- I don’t think this is a good idea, buddy. No, it’s really not a good idea,” his heartbeat is picking up again, and Virgil bites his lip nervously. Roman ignores it, pulls his hand to kiss it. 

“Stay with me, princess,” he purrs. Are you trying to kill me? Roman’s too attractive, too flirtatious. And Virgil’s too head over heels to say no. And that’s how he finds himself sharing his bed with Roman King. 

Who fell asleep almost immediately, and snuggled up right into Virgil’s side. So close, that there is a permanent blush on Virgil’s face and his breath on his neck. Okay, this is not going to work. I’m never going to get to sleep if this goes on. Fuck. 

Virgil shuffles away, attempting to get out of bed and go sleep on the couch, but Roman slings and arm over him and growls “Stay”. 

Well, can’t argue with that, now can I? 

~~~~~~

When morning filters through the window, Roman blinks awake. Jiminy Cricket, does his head hurt. Ugh, what happened last night? This isn’t his bed: it’s not colourful at all, all blacks and purples. For goodness sakes, the curtains that are blocking most of the sun have spiders on it. Roman rubs his eyes: did he go home with someone? He must’ve. But who? Roman can’t really recall: he doesn’t remember talking to anyone. After Virgil ran out to the bathroom, Roman just wanted to drink and be alone. Anyone who approached him was turned away instantly by one of his cold stares. 

He couldn’t help but feel as though it was sort of his fault: he said he’d be with him. That Roman would leave Virgil alone. And yet… he was in the bathroom for two hours, and not once did Roman gather the courage to go and check on him. And then what? Then he went to some strangers home and left Virgil? 

What kind of asshole would do that to someone? Virgil, despite how he acts, is amazingly perceptive. He can tell when something is wrong, it’s why he’s so good as a nurse… he’s just genuinely a good person. And Roman left him? 

He can’t imagine he’d do that to the emo, even drunk. He wouldn’t be able to forget Virgil, would he? 

No, he really has no clue. 

Think, Roman, think- he presses his hands to his pounding head, as if it would squeeze out a memory. All that happens is scraps of a song. Oh great, not only do I have no idea where I am but now there’s a song stuck in my head. Wonderful. 

“Even the best fall down sometimes, even the wrong words seem to rhyme-” he murmurs under his breath. Then an image follows right after: a man, holding onto the microphone at the bar, singing the words so soft, so sweetly. It makes his heart pang, it’s so lovely. Is that the guy I went home with? Roman thinks to himself. He focuses harder on the memory. The man, he looks up shyly, nervously, and meets eyes with Roman. 

God, he’s fucking beautiful. Love at first sight? Maybe not, but whatever this is, it’s as close to that as it could possibly be. It makes Roman feel all warm and bubbly inside. He bites his lip and looks at the ceiling of this stranger’s bed. Things come back in bits and pieces all out of order; kissing that man by a car, his car- that man laughing at him as he gawks at his, what is that, a spider?- the man sitting at a table in the bar right next to him, letting him nuzzle his shoulder (embarrassing, it makes Roman blush he was so mushy)- a kiss to his forehead to calm him, wiping away drunken tears ever so gently. His hands felt baby-soft, despite the obvious muscular frame he sported. 

Who is he…? 

“I’ll sing it just for you: you know, I really don’t like public speaking…” in his mind, this man’s voice follows: it’s soft, muted a touch. Focus now, Roman, you’ve almost got it- 

“You’re not going to remember me, so I don’t think it’ll matter…” Of course it matters! I’m not a blackout drunk! Roman wants to scream. 

“I really really like you, Roman,” his voice, saying such kind words, is like what he’d imagine an angel would sound like. Or some sweet interaction that only comes between A-List celebrities in a scripted movie. 

“I’ve known you for a while…”  Okay, finally, getting somewhere. He knows him? Does he do tech at the theatre or something? It’s a possibility. 

“You’re destroying me, and you don’t even notice…” Well, that’s harsh. Kind makes him feel guilty: this gorgeous meal of a man was lusting over him, and he didn’t even notice? What kind of idiot- 

“Janus said that I’d be good for you. Grounding. A good boyfriend…” So he knows the snakey doctor. That can either be very good or very bad: is this fellow a sleazeball? No, Roman assures himself blushing heavily, He’s too sweet to do that. Too kind and loving. Did you see him sing that song? Just for you too- and he looked so nervous! Precious!! 

“I don’t know what he sees in me, but clearly you don’t see that…” Roman wants to pull his hair out. Did Roman say or do something wrong? Did he ruin his chances with this Adonis, because if he did, he’ll be furious. 

“You like grand gestures, romance, and flirting… I can’t do any of that,” I don’t care! I don’t care about any of that! I just want someone to hold my hand and not treat me like shit! Just a sweet cute guy! 

“I’m not nervous anymore, because you’re never going to remember this whole thing,” Ah, sorry to break it to you, but hey, I’m remembering! And I’m going to track you down! 

“You’ll never know how much I love you anyway, so it’s just for me…” he sounds melancholy, so very sad, and Roman wants to hold him. Hold him and kiss the top of his head and make him feel better. This person, he doesn’t deserve to be ignored. Why was Roman ever- 

“Just for poor heartsick Virgil,” Roman’s mouth runs dry. Virgil? Virgil. He- the man he went with- Virgil. Virgil was singing to him, with that angelic voice, Virgil drove him to his house because he didn’t want to leave him alone and every other little wonderful thing, the forehead kisses and the smiles and the hands- oh my stars, I am an imbecile. 

How didn’t he notice? How Virgil would bite back at him whenever he flirted with him teasingly, how Virgil wilted whenever Roman talked about his relationships, how careful and thoughtful he was with every move, hell, he even agreed to go out to the bar with him to find some other guy because he was worried for Roman’s safety. 

How was I so blind that I missed the perfect man right in front of my eyes? 

And this… this must be Virgil’s house. It’s… very Virgil. Is that a Nightmare Before Christmas poster? Yes, it is- how wonderful. How him. 

How didn’t Roman notice? It’s that classic blunder, unseeing of the person right in front of him. How did he not see how romantic Virgil is? Little gestures, smart moves, kindness. Thoughtful. He had said that he wasn’t a romantic, but by Jove- he’s sweet. His mind can’t stop repeating Virgil’s soft singing and his gentleness. God, it’s so beautiful it’s painful. He should tell him to go without makeup more often. And a shirt. Yes, without a shirt sounds good. Undercover buff, much?

His mind swirls with the knowledge of Virgil. 

Oh shit- how is he going to face Virgil now? He’s in his house, he’s most likely in the living room: should he just pretend like he doesn’t remember? 

Roman’s a good actor, he could pull it off: but Virgil would still be wanting and lonesome. And Roman would know, and that hurts. He won’t do that to him, not anymore. 

He should just come out, say that he remembers and... ask him out on a date. A proper one. They both have the day off today, it could be now! 

They’d do Virgil things, things that make the emo happy, maybe a zoo or watch movies or coffee shops or whatever. And... Roman will hold his hand, hold him, and hold him and hold him. Yes, yes, this is good. 

Roman wishes he had more time to plan. Time to get flowers, or chocolates or anything, really. Wait, you don’t even know if he’ll say yes! Maybe he’s so embarrassed by the whole interaction that- 

Wait. 

Is that pancakes? 

Roman sniffs at the air: yes, it is. Blueberry ones, at that. And coffee. His stomach rumbles, and hunger is enough to spur him out of bed. His legs are wobbly, and his head is swimming, but he makes it out of the room eventually. 

“Oh hey, Princey, finally decide to wake from your endless slumber, huh?” Virgil teases. His makeup has returned, as usual. He’s wearing another hoodie, a black one, and it’s hanging off his shoulders as he flips pancakes. Roman’s mouth runs dry. “Also, umm, sorry about not taking you to your apartment. I didn’t want to leave you alone.” 

“Oh... it’s fine,” Roman sounds odd, even to himself, and Virgil gives him a skeptical look. “Heh, anyone who makes me good morning pancakes is alright in my book!” 

Virgil snorts, and pushes a plate over the kitchen bar for Roman to sit and eat. 

“How’s your head? What do you- you know, never mind,” Virgil ducks his head into the fridge to receive some maple syrup, “You like it warmed?” 

“Uh... if it isn’t an issue,” Virgil casts another weird look to Roman: is he being too nice? Roman can’t help it, how could he be rude? He puts his syrup in the microwave, with the long pale fingers. 

 “I uh- Virgil,” Roman starts, more nervous than anything, “Oh fuck, this is hard but- I uh-” 

“You’re making me worried, Princey, spit it out or shut up and eat my food,” Virgil glares. Roman gulps. It’s like a bandaid, rip it off, come on, just spit it out- 

“I REMEMBER! I remember everything, I always do after I’m drunk, it’s why I get a buddy, because I always remember in the morning and I hate what I’m like when I’m intoxicated, because I always remember, I think I’ve said that a few times- uh, Virgil, are you okay?” Roman finally looks up at Virgil- or rather down, as the man has crumpled to the floor in a heap. Has he fainted? Roman gets up and squats next to him. 

“Virgil?” he whispers into his ear, poking at him. Virgil jolts up, narrowly missing a collision with Roman’s head as he sits up straight. He groans, and puts his head in his hands to try and hide his full-faced blush. 

“Fuck, I’m such an idiot, oh my god, I’ve made a total fool of myself- oh god, please just leave me alone to die, Roman, just go,” he yells. Roman chuckles, and peels Virgil’s hands from his face. He seems about to cry, moisture glistening at his eyes. Roman’s heart can’t take it: he thinks he looks foolish? No, never. 

Roman kisses the corners of his eyes. 

“You’re not an idiot, you’re most certainly not a fool. I’m sorry I didn’t notice you before at the office. I’m the only idiot between the two of us, because I didn’t see how wonderful you were until you had to be blatant about it. I’m so very sorry, and in your debt. I feel silly to even try and ask, but would you… perchance, want a real date? One where I’m not flirting with other people- only with you, you Incredible Sulk,” Roman consoles Virgil pulling him into an embrace. 

“Really?” Virgil asks. 

“Honestly,” 

“Then yeah, yeah, that sounds okay. I uh… I don’t do a whole lot so-” Roman cuts Virgil off by pressing his finger to his lips. Virgil raises his eyebrows. 

“How’s right this second sound?”

“Yeah- uhm, that works for me-”

“Fantastic! And I believe your pancakes are burning,” Roman notes, laughing as Virgil shoots up cursing colourfully as he discards a very black pancake. Even as the man squawks and yells and forces Roman back into his seat, he can’t help but feel fulfilled. After the pancake fiasco is remedied, Virgil breathes a sigh of relief and smiles at Roman. 

“Sorry about that, Princey,” 

“Hey, it’s no problem for me! Kind of entertaining, actually,” Roman snickers, earning him a slap upside the head. And then, just to push Virgil’s buttons, he snakes his hand through his dark locks and kisses him deeply over the counter. It’s a knee-shaking kiss, a heart-stopper, a signature Roman smooch. One he should’ve given Virgil last night, but was too drunk to make happen. It seems like Virgil likes it too, if the noises are any indication. Virgil is the first to pull back for air, and presses his chest, gasping. 

“Oh my goodness, was that too much? Are you okay, Virgil?” Roman frets. Virgil, he recalls, has some sort of horrible cocktail of medical issues. Most he’s grown out of, but the effects still linger. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, it’s cool. Hah, my heart’s still beating. It’s stopped once before, and I have a defibrillator in my room but- I’m okay. I guess that just means I’m fragile, right? Gotta be careful with my heart, both ways, alright?” A still beating heart. How romantic, how delightful. 

“Now you must stay with me, so I can restart your heart whenever it’s required!” Roman announces. Virgil rolls his eyes and scoffs, despite his small smile, then returns to finishing off the end of his pancake batter. Roman pokes his bicep, his deceptively strong bicep, to pester him into an answer. Virgil catches it, squeezes. 

“Hey! My heart’s still beating, you’re going to have to try harder,” he teases. It has to be the most lovely seductive challenge he’s ever been issued. And you said you weren’t a romantic. 

His heart still beats, and it beats just as hard for Roman as the other way around. 

How positively lovely. 

~~~~

And from that day on, the entire pediatric office would all go out once a month to a particular bar’s karaoke night, and Roman and Virgil would sing many songs but always one. They always sang one at the end, and it was so beautiful that people cry every time. It’s longing and love and acceptance. 

They like to hold hands while they do it, perhaps to show off their relationship… or maybe just the matching rings that adorn their fingers. 

~~~~~

The End! Thanks for reading! 

If you enjoyed, please reblog- it truly means the world. 

Want to be tagged on other works in this genre or just generally? Asks, DMs, or comments are all wonderful. 

Liked it a whole coffee’s worth? Here’s my Ko-fi. 

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #pediatric au #roman sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #patton #logan #remus #roman #virgil #janus #prinxiety #prinxeity #my writing #still beating heart #fanfiction

[the-sympathetic-villain]

You Belong With Me - Chapter 19

AO3 | First | Previous | Next | Masterpost

Description: Much to his surprise, after being released from prison for a crime he didn’t commit, Logan has been appointed as a the prince’s new advisor.  

Word Count: 4286

Chapter Warnings: Effects of being drugged, Derealization, Angst, Blood, Minor Injury (Let me know if there's anything else I need to add!)  

-

    A throbbing ache in his head pulled Logan reluctantly back to awareness. He nearly bit his tongue resisting the urge to gag as the dark abyss shifted unpredictably around him. He started to open his eyes but wave of pain and nausea crashed over him as bright light flooded his eyes. He retched, bile rising in his throat from his empty stomach. Nearly choking on his own tongue, he sucked in a breath, forcing his muscles to relax as he tried to slow the spinning in his head.

    Slowly, feeling came back to his body and he absent-mindedly clasped his hand closed, surprised as his fingers brushed soft fabric. He exhaled slowly. At the very least, he was no longer on the ground. That was far more compassion than he expected Remus to afford him. His skin crawled at the thought of what this small comfort would cost him, but he knew he should appreciate the unexpected moment of peace. He bit his lip. With Remus nearby, this surely would not last long once they realized he had awakened.

    Logan flinched as the sound of distant voices cut through his hazy thoughts. He squirmed, trying to pull regain full use of his senses through the fog in his brain. He considered calling out, but memories of the consequences came rushing back to the front of his mind. Immediately, he slammed his mouth shut, stifling his panicked breathing to avoid drawing his captors' attention. Instead, he forced himself to stop moving, trying to force the world to stop spinning while he listened intently to the muted voices.

    Despite his desperation, he couldn't make out the words nor could he recognize the voices, but the slight distortion of the sounds made him suspect the were coming in from another room. Relaxing slightly, he intentionally slowed his breathing, working up the energy to move.  He moved his hands to push himself up and immediately paused in confusion. His hands were unbound. Reaching his hand clumsily to his face, it finally settled in that the blindfold and gag were gone. If he was going to escape, he had to move now. Another opportunity like this was unlikely to fall into his hands again.

    Too bad it seemed impossible for him to even open his eyes. He gasped, feeling the dried blood on his face pull at his skin on his face.

      Get far enough away to hide.

    Trying to control his heavy breathing, he pushed his chest off the bed. His arms shook from the effort, but he forced himself to stay upright as he started to drag himself forward, feeling carefully for an edge. He tried again to crack his eyes open, hissing in pain as the light burned his eyes.

     Keep moving.

     Logan couldn’t even be sure he wasn’t still underground. He searched his brain trying to remember the layout of where the underground cache where he'd been kept, trying to remember if there had been other rooms than the one where he'd been kept. Recall seemed impossible through the effects of the drugs, but he was unbound. He couldn't waste time. He would have to figure out his path as he went. Drugged or not, this may be his only chance to escape.  At the very least, he had to try. Weakly, he moved a hand forward, dragging himself forward as he searched for the edge of the bed. A soft click from across the room drew his attention, and the momentary distraction cause his hand slipped on the slick fabric. He slipped forward, landing on his chest and nearly plummeting face first to the floor. He clenched his jaw as his muscles tensed to stop himself from falling. He convulsed, resisting the urge to retch at the sudden movement.

    “LOGAN!” A voice blasted his ears and he winced, nearly losing his weak grip on the slick blankets. He tried to pull his eyes open again, squinting into the bright light. He could just make out a figure moving quickly toward him before the burning forced his eyes close once again. The sound of footsteps moving toward him made him flinch back, desperately trying to scramble back even as his torso slowly slipped towards the ground. Logan recoiled as hands curled under his chest and he was stopped from falling off the bed. He felt bile fill his throat and he squirmed in the unknown man's arms. Logan brought an elbow down on his attacker's face and he heard a groan. Instantly, regret surged through his body and his body went cold as panic seized him.

    “Please. I'm sorry.” His voice cracked with fear. “I'll stop. I won't—"

    Logan's voice trailed off weakly as he went limp in the man's arms. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he registered that the man had called out but he couldn't process the voices through the panic. His head throbbed as his heart pounded in his chest as he felt the stranger pause. His moment of fear passed quickly as revulsion surged through his body as more footsteps approached. He gagged as another set of hands grasped him and he was lifted back onto the bed. He forced himself not to move as quiet noises filled his ears. His exhaled with relief as the hands moved away from him. He could hear whispers above him, barely audible over his heart pounding in his ears. A hand brush his shoulder and he flinched, curling into himself.

    “Guys, back up a bit.”

    Patton?

    The noises and touching stopped, and Logan tensed at the sound of his friend’s soft voice. His face twisted into a snarl as a heavy feeling settled into his chest.

    You, bastard. How dare you—

    “Hey, kiddo.” Patton's voice was quiet and gentle. “Can you hear me?”

     Logan's heart ached at the with longing. Truly, using his friends against him was a new level of cruelty for Remus. Still, he nodded complacently, not wanting to antagonize the situation.

     “Good. You’re doing fine.” Logan heard a sigh. “Oh, kiddo. What'd he do to you?”

     “Is he okay?”

     Virgil.

     Logan bit his lip nearly hard enough to draw blood.

    “I think he's stable, but I need to properly check him.”

    Logan flinched at the sound of movement next to his head. There was a short pause in the voices as the movement stopped. He stopped moving, holding his breath.

    “Will you bring me some water and a cloth, Virge?”

    “Of course, Pat. I'll be right back.”

    Stop messing with my head.

    He felt helpless to stop the scene from playing out before him.

    I'm not home. He'd never send me home.

    Logan swallowed nervously as he heard a door open. A few moments later, Logan could hear the sloshing of water as the other person returned.

     “Thanks, Virgil.” There was a pause and Logan heard movement in front of him. “Hey, kiddo. I'm going to clean your face off a bit, okay?”

    “Don't.”

    Silence hung in the air and Logan couldn’t resist trembling. He knew what this act of defiance could cost him, but he couldn’t handle this level of torment.

    Not them. Anything but this—

    Patton’s cautious voice broke the silence. “Kiddo,  there's so much blood. I can't tell the extent of your injuries unless I clean it away."

    “Please—” Logan felt the harshness in his voice as he pleaded helplessly. “Don't do this to me.”

    “What are you talking about, Lo?”

    “Just hurt me.” Logan swallowed the lump in his throat at the surprised squeak that sounded in front of him.

    It's not Patton. It’s not real.

    “We're not going to hurt you, Lo—”

    “Stop imitating my friends and just hurt me, you bastard.” Bitterness burned in Logan’s throat at the convincing sounds of his friends' soft voices and he snapped. “We both know that’s what you really want.”

    Logan flinched as he heard the figure lean closer. His skin prickled with anticipation at provoking Remus, but anything was better than the sinking feeling in his stomach he felt at listening to his tricks.

    “Lo—”

    Roman.

    “Stop,” Logan cringed, feeling his stomach twist and tears fill his eyes. His voice was weak with apathy. “Please, stop.”

    “Lo, kiddo.” Patton’s voice trembled convincingly. “Open your eyes.”

    Logan shivered at the sound of Patton's whisper. He slowly shook his head, shrinking back as the figure shifted in front of him.

    “Why not, kiddo?”

    Logan inhaled sharply. “Hurts."

    “Oh.”

    A small pause hung between them, and Logan winced as heard the figure turn around.

    “Ro, can you close the curtains?”

     “Sure thing, Pat.”

     Logan sunk back down and swallowed. He felt an emptiness in his chest as he realized this wasn't going to end. Choking back a sob, he started to plead. “Please—”

    “Hey now, kiddo.” His muscles seized as Patton’s gentle hushing sounds filled the air. “Please, open your eyes. I promise it won't hurt, Lo.”

    Logan clenched his jaw, hesitant to play along, but his will to fight was draining away quickly. He slowly inhaled as he cracked open his eyes, blinking at the dark room.

    “Patton?” Logan murmured as his friend came into focus.

    “Is that better—Oh no, Lo. Hey, it's okay. You're safe.”

     Logan flinched as Patton reached out to him and his breath caught in his throat and wetness streamed down his face as he took in the sight of his friends around him.

     “Please, kiddo. Don't cry.” Patton’s voice shook with concern as he pulled his hand back.

    A smile tugged at the corner of Logan's face at the sight of Patton, who appeared to be holding himself back from rushing over to him.  The sight gave him a moment of ease before a pit in his stomach started to grow in his stomach.

    It’s not real.

    Logan bit his lip, trying to ground himself before his emotions got the better of him.

    “I don't know how you’re here, but I promise you're safe now, Lo.”

    Logan swallowed. His throat was raw from holding back sobs. Tears blurred his vision as he looked up to see his friends surrounding him. Patton slowly moved over to him and kneeled on the side of the bed. Logan watched him carefully, his eyes flicked from Patton to his other friends standing behind him. He cautiously eyed Roman fidgeting anxiously to Patton’s left. Logan's heart sank as Roman's expression softened and his smiled warmly down at him. Beyond him, Virgil leaned on the far wall. His eyes drooped with exhaustion, but he grinned as Logan looked over at him, looking relieved. Logan’s skin crawled and he felt a scowl form on his face at the persuasiveness of Remus’ illusion.

    “Lo?”

    Logan flinched as fingertips brushed his hand. He withdrew quickly, instinctively baring his teeth at Patton. The hurt expression on Patton's face gave him pause and guilt washed over him.

    It’s not real.

    He’s not real.

    “Stop this illusion.”  Guilt gnawed at Logan’s stomach, looking at his friends’ hurt faces. No amount of convincing himself they weren’t real made the sight hurt any less. “Do whatever you want to me. Just stop this.”

    Logan watched as Patton's smile faltered, but Roman cautiously stepped up behind him. Emptiness filled his chest as he watched Roman approached. “This is real. Here’s no magic in this realm strong enough to hold this level of illusion. You’re really home, Logan.”

     “That’s a lie, and I know better.” Logan snarled bitterly, refusing to back down even as guilt tore into him at Roman’s sad expression. “You’ve been in my dreams before.”

     Roman frowned and Logan tensed, anxiously watching as Roman kneeled in front of him. “Does this feel like a dream, Logan?”

     Logan paused. His feral expression dropped for a moment as he considered the question. The haze in his brain made it difficult to parse through his thoughts.

     “It's not a dream, L.”

     Virgil’s voice cut through Logan’s sluggish introspections, and he looked up just as Virgil slumped down to the ground, squatting on the back of his ankles as he leaned against the wall. Logan couldn’t bring himself to respond as his attention drifted. He looked down at his hand and clenched it into a fist and then slowly released the pressure. The movement was slow and weak.

    “I remember being drugged—” Logan's words caught in his throat as memories came flooding back. He closed his eyes as despair settled into him, going limp into the bed beneath him. "I can't—"

     “Logan—” Roman started, but Logan cut him off.

     “Leave me alone."

     Roman paused, sharing a worried glance with Patton.

     “Kiddo—”

     “Stop. I can’t take this.” Logan's voice was breathless as he clenched his eyes shut. “I can’t take listening to their voices.”

     “L, look at me.”

     Logan caught his breath and looked over to Virgil, who was staring patiently back at him. He stared directly at Logan through the hair hanging over his eyes. “When we first met, I broke into your room and you nearly nailed me in the head with a paperweight.”

     Logan blinked slowly in confusion, even as Roman’s head spun on Virgil. “You did what—"

     “No, Roman!” Patton nearly jumped to his feet as realization hit him. He held up his hands to calm Roman. “That's so good, Virgil! Remus can't fake details he doesn't know.”

     “Oh.” Roman stopped in his tracks turning to look down at Logan.

     Logan’s skin prickled uncomfortably as all eyes in the room turned to him. His defensiveness returned as their gaze settled on him. Patton took a step toward him and Logan’s eyes snapped to him. His anxious expression faltered as Patton started to sing quietly. Logan hesitated in confusion as the familiar-sounding tune echoed off the stone walls between them. Even as the sedative in his system worked against him, Logan’s mind couldn't help but race to place where he’d heard the song before.

    Wait that’s—

    “There you go, kiddo. Do you remember now?”

    Logan clenched his eyes shut and nodded stiffly.

    “That’s good, Lo.” Patton spoke gently to him. “It’s the song I was singing when Roman first brought you to the greenhouse. The language is from my home country and few other people even know of the language, let alone how to pronounce the words. It's not something Remus could fake, kiddo.”

    Logan nodded slowly. Tears flowed down his face, even as he clenched his eyes shut.

    “Logan?”

    Slow movement in front of him drew his eyes open and he saw Roman kneel in front of him. Roman slowly reached out to him and Logan didn’t flinch away as Roman’s hand came to rest on his cheek. Logan’s skin tingled as Roman’s thumb brushed away the tears on his face. He looked up to see Roman smiling fondly down at him.

    “Lo, when I recovered from the attempt on my life, I came to release you from your cell.” Roman paused, distressed by the memory. “You were scared of me. No matter how hard I tried to make you comfortable, you were still afraid I was going to punish you.”

    Logan closed his eyes. His brow furrowed in discomfort at the uncomfortable memory, but he nodded stiffly.

    “I knew it was hard for you, and I tried to give you your space.”

    Logan looked up at the tremble in Roman’s voice. He stared at Roman as tears fell from his face.

    “You only asked for one thing throughout our entire first conversation, Lo.” Roman’s hand gently moved to Logan’s jaw. “I asked for your company as I walked the ground. I wanted more information about what had happened, and despite your hesitation, you reluctantly agreed to join me.”

    Logan smiled, leaning into Roman’s hand as he closed his eyes.

    “From what I'd been told, it had been raining since the day I'd fallen ill. The storm had only just broken, and even though you hadn't missed out on any good weather while you were imprisoned, your only request was that you be allowed to walk in the sunlight while we talked. I was hesitant. The grounds were wet and the bright light seemed to be overwhelming for you after being in the dungeons, but you said you missed the feeling of sunlight on your skin.”

    Logan clenched his eyes closed and nodded. His face twitched as emotions surged through his body. After a moment of silence, he finally looked up at his friends and turned his head to face Roman. “How am I here?”

    Roman shared a glance with Patton, before turning back to look down at Logan. “We don't know, Logan.”

    “This is your bedroom, Roman." Logan glanced around the room, recognizing the space around them. He turned his head up to Roman in confusion. "How can you not know how I got here?”

    Roman's careful expression faltered for a brief second, but his worry quickly turned to a faint smile. “You’re here, Lo. That’s what matters right now.”

    Logan stared up at him unconvinced, carefully analyzing the night’s events in his head. “It's…it's illogical. How does letting me go serve him?”

    His friends were quiet, staring down at him. Even Virgil glanced up from where he was slumped down against the wall. No one seemed to have an answer.

    “Logan?”

    Logan looked up at Patton’s gentle voice.

    “Please, kiddo. I know this is a lot for you, and I promise we’re going to figure everything out,” Patton’s voice trembled slightly. “But please let me clean the blood off your face and take a look at your injuries. I don’t want to put off taking care of you any longer.”

     The haze of Logan's brain cleared long enough for him to recognize how he must look to his friends. His feeling of awareness was murky and he could tell from the tug at his skin that blood covered most of his face. He felt a pang of guilt at the distress he’d caused for his friends.

    “My injuries are not as severe as they appear, Pat.” Logan's voice was soft, nearly a whisper as he laid his head back on the bed.

     “Still, Lo. Can I—”

    Logan felt a pang of sadness in his chest as Patton looked at him with pleading eyes. He pursed his lips and nodded. He groaned with effort as he rolled onto his side to give Patton a better angle.

    “Don’t strain yourself, kiddo.”

    “Patton, I assure you I’m perfectly—”

    “Lo,” Roman's voice was soft as he smiled gently at him. He stepped out of the way as Patton rushed over to him. “You’re hurt. Just let him fuss over you. It will ease all of our minds.”

    Logan paused at Roman's tone, finally noticing the tension in Roman's shoulders. His normally easy-going confidence suddenly seemed fragile as he stared down at him. Logan pulled his eyes away from Roman to look down at Virgil, whose gaze was fixed on him. Virgil seemed unwilling to look away from Logan. Even as exhaustion pulled at his features, his worried gaze betrayed his nagging fear of letting Logan out of his sight. Logan swallowed as he turned back to Patton. His friend trembled, lip quivering with concern for Logan as he waited for his permission to care for him.

    “Please,” Tears found their way back to Logan’s eyes as warmness swelled in his chest. The cut on his face burned slightly as his awareness became fixated on the injury his friends were seeing. “I don’t want you to worry about me. I promise you my appearance is not indicative of my overall wellbeing. It’s just the one cut.”

     His friends were silent looking over at him, nearly holding their breath at his words.

    “Lo, I can’t tell how deep it is—"

    “I know, Pat. I'm only saying so because I don’t want any of you to worry unnecessarily.” Logan laid his head back down on the pillow, smiling gently at his friend. "Please, come do whatever you think is best. I trust you.”

     Logan noticed the tension leave his friends’ bodies. Virgil slumped down to the ground, sitting on the floor next to the far wall as his eyes drooped. Roman leaned back and Logan could see some of his tension ease as he smiled down at him.

    “Okay, kiddo.” Patton beamed down at him as he scooted forward, ringing out a wet cloth into the bowl full of water that Virgil had brought him earlier. “I'm going to clean your face. It might be a little cold. Are you ready?”

     Logan nodded and closed his eyes.

     “Okay, I'll be careful but let me know if it hurts.” Logan felt the wet cloth touch his cheek and shivered at the cold feeling. He felt Patton pause, allowing Logan to adjust. Once he got used to the feeling, he gave Patton a short nod and he resumed wiping Logan's face, rhythmically working at the grime and blood. This process went on for a few minutes as they silently allowed Patton to do his work. As Patton worked, the drugs started to drag at him again and he was nearly lulled to sleep by the feeling of Patton's gentle patting of his face. He was gently pulled out of his haze as Patton worked the last of the blood on Logan’s neck and lifted his hand away.

    “It's pretty deep but if I treat it soon, I still may be able to keep it from scarring too badly.” Patton said, gently running his fingers along the cut on Logan's cheek. Patton swallowed, biting his lip nervously. “Kiddo?”

    Logan opened his eyes and glanced up at Patton’s worried expression.

    “Is this really the only place you got hurt?”

    “He didn’t…” Feelings of guilt twitched at the corner of his mouth at the sad expression on Patton’s face as his eyes flicked nervously to Logan’s exposed chest. Uncomfortable memories brimmed at the edge of his consciousness, but he shoved them away as he tried to comfort Patton.  “I really managed to avoid further injury, Pat. I promise.”

    “Good, kiddo. I'm glad nothing else happened." Patton let out a breath he'd seemed to have been holding before turning up to Roman. “Ro?”

    “Yeah?” Roman looked tiredly down at Patton as he was pulled from his thoughts.

    Patton looked at him apologetically. “I need to go to my place. I need supplies. Herbs, bandages… I don't have anything here to help him.”

    “Oh, of course. Umm…Virge, can you—” Roman absently turned to Virgil, pausing at the sight of him slumped down on the ground from exhaustion. He was already nodding, but the sight made Roman falter. He turned back to look at Logan, reluctant to leave his friend so soon, but he knew Virgil had already overextended himself, even if he seemed unwilling to admit it. “Virge, do you think you stay awake long enough to watch over Logan while I escort Pat to to his house to get his supplies?”

    Virgil paused, looking up at Roman in surprise. He couldn't help rolling his eyes as he noticed Roman's knowing grin, but he nodded anyway. "I suppose I'm up to that task, princey."

    “ Good. I doubt anyone will try to come for him. There's no reason for Remus to bring him here only to take him back, but I’ll post double guards at the doors until we return.” Roman walked over and extended a hand to Virgil. He gently pulled Virgil to his feet and gestured to the side of the bed next to Logan. “No one’s getting in here, Virge. You shouldn't have to do anything. Just try to stay awake and keep an eye on him until we return and then you can get some proper rest."

    “Thanks, princey." Virgil smiled appreciatively and he climbed onto the bed next to Logan.

    Roman watched him roll over onto the bed before he turning back to Logan. Logan blinked through blurry vision as Roman kneeled next to him and put his hand on Logan’s shoulder. “Logan?”

    Logan's vision cleared a moment as the drug's effects faded for a brief moment as he looked up at Roman.

    “I’m so glad you’re home, Lo. I may not know how it happened, but I'm so grateful that you're back.” Roman’s voice was warm as he spoke, but Logan felt his heart flutter at the sadness that quivered in his voice. He felt Roman's hand move gently up to his face, coming to rest on his cheek below his cut. “The—the last thing I want to do right now is leave you, but I'm going to help Pat get what he needs to help you and we'll both be back as soon as we can.”

    Logan closed his eyes and nodded, leaning into the warmth of Roman’s hand. He gasped softly as Roman's forehead slowly rested down on his own.

    “You'll be safe here with Virgil and we'll be back before you know it. Okay?”

    “Thank you, Roman,” Logan smiled faintly up at Roman. “For everything.”

     “I'd do anything for you, Lo.” Roman responded, reluctantly pulling his head back as he stood up and turned to look at Patton. “Come on, Pat. Let's be quick.”

     Patton nodded, jumping to his feet to follow Roman. Logan closed his eyes, already missing the warmth of Roman’s hand on his cheek as he listened to both of his friends leave through the door behind him. He felt sadness well in his chest at their absence, but the feeling was stopped in his tracks as he felt Virgil's hand come down to rest on his shoulder, gently reminding Logan that he was there. Logan relaxed, smiling at the simple gesture.

    I'm home.

You Belong With Me Taglist:

@cas-is-a-hunter @insert-cool-blogname @ironwoman359 @i-know-im-smart @imbadatnames8d @somehow-i-got-an-account @croftersphoenix @optimistic-violinist @chronicallynervouschild @croftersjam15 @actitus-hypoleucos @unbefuckinglieveable @justthatamount @eeveeeclair246 @justanotherhumanstuff @dwbh888

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #ts logan #ts patton #ts virgil #ts roman #LAMP #You Belong With Me #villain writes

[sanderssides-springfling]

hello! this gift is for @sanderssnoots! i had. so much with this ngl, may have gone a little overboard but aaa. i tried to incorporate all three of the prompts and hopefully this turned out ok haha. i really hope you enjoy this dude ^^

summary: after moving to a new school in an old city, virgil meets remus, a particularly attractive fellow who seems familiar somehow...

TW: Panic attack, Remus, threats, homophobia, curing

"Breathe for me," a muffled voice said.

Virgil closed his eyes, wishing for everything to just stop.

"C'mon, count with me," the voice said, clearer now. It was soothing, calming, real. Not like the other voices Virgil was hearing.

The voice began to count and Virgil attempted to copy it in his head. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Wait. He knew these numbers. He was supposed to breath, wasn't he? That's what the voice had told him to do.

He continued to count and tried to get a steady breathing pattern whilst doing so. In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight. In. Hold. Out. In. Out.

He opened his eyes and his big brother was there besides him. Virgil collapsed into Remy, burying his head in his chest and breathing softly. Remy gently wrapped his arms around Virgil, circling his hands over his back in a comforting pattern.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Remy asked.

Virgil shook his head.

"Was it school again?"

Virgil did nothing, seemingly indicating to Remy that it was indeed school.

"It's okay, Virge. You'll be out of there soon."

~*~

Virgil leant his head against the window, feeling the vibrations as the car sped down the road. They were moving, finally. Moving to a new city - or an old city, really, back to where Virgil had grown up. He guessed that his family finally realised that things in their new city weren't going great, or maybe things weren't going great for them. Either way, Virgil was more than happy to be returning to his real home.

He glanced over at Remy, unable to decipher whether he was sleeping or not - despite it being close to midnight and not even summertime, Remy was still wearing his sunglasses. But Virgil noticed the side of Remy's lips tip up into a sort of smirk, so he assumed that his older brother was awake, and watching him.

The street lights blurred in front of him, casting neon lights into the air. It wouldn't be long until they were at the new house, and then soon after a new school, and maybe everything would go back to normal.

~*~

Virgil peeked into the classroom, glancing around to find the least threatening person there. It was half way through the year, so he imagined that there wouldn't be many options anyway, but he could try.

Somebody barged past him, causing him to stumble to the side. After that, he was pushed into the classroom by whoever followed, and forced to stand awkwardly at the front. Brilliant.

"Hey," a voice said from the front row, "are you lost?”

Virgil glanced down at the person sat there, trying not to show them any emotion. "No, I..."

"Oh, are you new?" they asked.

Virgil nodded.

"You can sit with me," they said, patting the seat next to them. "My desk-mate just left."

Not wanting to argue any further, Virgil quickly took the seat besides them. He let out a breath. Front row seat wasn't... ideal, but at least he wasn't intruding on somebody else. This person had wanted him to sit with them, right?

"I'm Patton," they introduced, grinning at Virgil.

Virgil offered a small smile back. "Virgil."

"Oh! My friend Logan always goes on about a poet with that name-"

Patton went on to talk to Virgil about their friends, and about the school, and Virgil allowed himself to kick back and listen. He supposed they already had their own friends, their own life, and that was fine - Virgil wasn't really planning on making loads of friends, only planning to not make a complete fool of himself and end up making loads of enemies. And maybe Patton couldn't help with the friend situation, but they could certainly protect him for a little longer, at least for this hour...

"I'm sure they wouldn't mind you sitting with us for lunch, either," Patton said.

Virgil blinked. What? "Really?"

"Of course! Unless you have other friends, that is."

"I wouldn't want to intrude."

"You won't be intruding," Patton said, laughing. "I'd certainly be happy to have another friend around!"

Christ. This person was too friendly for their own good.

"Alright, then," Virgil said anyway, "thanks."

Patton grinned. "No problem!"

~*~

Virgil threw his backpack to the floor as he entered his new house, stepping into the living room only to be ambushed by Remy and tackled onto the sofa. For a moment, his body went into shock, before his reflexes kicked in and he kicked Remy off the sofa.

"Hey!" Remy protested.

Virgil stared at him, mouth open wide. "You're the one who tackled me onto the sofa!"

"You didn't have to kick me, though!" Remy scrambled back to his feet and sat on the sofa besides Virgil.

"That kick was utterly deserved," Virgil said, determinedly.

Remy sighed. "Well. Maybe you're right."

Virgil smirked. "Of course I'm right."

"How was school?" Remy asked, immediately changing the conversation.

Virgil shrugged. "Okay. Better, I think."

"Made any friends?"

"Kinda?" Virgil hummed. "Sat with a couple people at lunch. One's in my classes - Patton, their name is."

"Patton?" Remy considered that for a moment. "Sounds nice."

"Yeah." Virgil leant back. "You?"

"Oh, you know me," Remy said. "I'm already the most popular guy in my year."

Virgil rolled his eyes. "As if. Tell me the truth."

Remy looked kindly offended. "Hey! I'm good at socialising!"

Virgil raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"Okay, maybe I'm a bit of a disaster," Remy admitted. "But! I did meet up with some friends from before and I think I'll be able to reconnect with them."

"Oh! That's good!" Remy's life really was well more put together than Virgil's. He'd managed to stay in contact with his friends from before, something that Virgil had tried but ultimately failed to do. Of course, it would have helped if he had any good friends from before, or even just somebody who did more than just tolerate him. But it was whatever. Most people probably didn't recognise him now, let alone remember him.

"Well," Remy said, "maybe you can invite some of those new friends round."

Virgil laughed.

"What? I'm being serious!"

"I barely know them!" Virgil argued. "We're not on inviting-each-other-to-our-houses terms yet."

"Mom and Dad would get a kick out of it, though."

"They don't care," Virgil said. "As long as I'm emotionally stable, they won't care. Or, like, not on the verge of a breakdown."

Remy ruffled Virgil's hair. "They do care! I care, at least." He smiled. "I wanna meet them!"

"Absolutely not." Virgil crossed his arms.

Remy groaned. "Fine! I'll find them, though."

"How are you gonna do that?"

"I have connections."

"Like what?"

"I just made friends with this guy called Roman," Remy said. "He knows everybody."

Virgil giggled. "Well, good luck, then." He stood up. "Don't come in my room."

"You can't stop me!"

"I can!" He retreated upstairs.

~*~

Virgil glanced at a guy from the other side of the cafeteria. He had bleached blonde hair with the tips dyed a neon green, and wore a black denim jacket covered in band patches and pin badges. And Virgil couldn't stop staring at him.

"Who's that?" Virgil asked, turning to Patton. He had been sitting with them for a few days now, and was beginning to get the courage to actually talk to him.

Patton frowned. "Who?"

"Him," Virgil said, pointing to the guy and leaning in to Patton.

For a moment, Patton stared at the person too, before biting his lip. "Don't talk to him."

Virgil blinked. "Why?"

"That's Remus," Patton said. "Logan knows his brother. He, uh, well..." Patton hummed. "He's probably a nice person, but Logan's heard that he gets up to some... stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" Virgil wondered.

"Stuff that I probably shouldn't talk about in school," Patton said. "Just... I'd stay away from him, if I were you."

Virgil glanced down to the table, not really sure what to make of that. On the one hand, he somewhat trusted Patton, at least enough to believe their judgement, but on the other hand the guy didn't seem so bad. He looked like somebody that Virgil would get along with. Maybe someone he could get some fashion tips from.

But if Patton said he was bad, then maybe Virgil should listen. He had friends now, anyway. Things were gonna be okay.

~*~

"Hey," a person said, sitting down next to Virgil in the library. Virgil glanced at the newcomer, looking them up and down. They wore somewhat simple clothes - plain yellow t-shirt, black jacket, and a black beanie covering their natural blonde hair. Virgil noticed a few pin badges stuck to their jacket, including the bi flag and the nonbinary flag. He couldn't seem to stop staring at their eyes - one a light brown and the other a sickening shade of green.

"Hi?" Virgil whispered back, just slightly uncomfortable.

"You can call me D," they said, simply.

"...okay?"

"I saw you staring at Remus last week," D continued.

Virgil blinked. "Oh."

"If you have a problem with him, then that goes through me, okay?"

Virgil frowned. "I don't have a problem with him."

D glared at him. "Why else would you be staring at him?"

"I..." Virgil shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't mean to. I just liked his jacket."

D didn't seem to know what to make of that. "Oh. So... you're cool with him?"

"I guess?" Virgil looked away. "I mean, I don't know him, exactly. But I have no reason to dislike him."

D hummed. "You're friends with Patton, right?"

"Kinda?" Virgil tapped his fingers on the table. "I've been sitting with them. They haven't been mean to me."

"Huh." D sighed. "Well, whatever." They stood up. "Stay away from Remus. You made him kinda uncomfortable."

Before Virgil had a chance to ask what D meant, let alone say goodbye, they were gone again.

~*~

Virgil walked into the kitchen to find his brother and... another person burning some pancakes. He didn't recognise the other person, but assumed he was in the same year as Remy. He wore a floor length red dress and an almost perfect smile on his face, despite the fact that the stove was very nearly on fire.

"Jesus Christ, Remy turn the heat down," Virgil said, rushing over to the stove and turning the heat down. "You're gonna burn down the house."

"No we’re not," the guest said. "If we cook at a higher temperature than the recipe says, the pancakes will be done quicker."

Virgil breathed in, deeply. "That- That isn't how cooking works."

"Of course it is!"

"Sorry, Virge," Remy said, taking the pan off the stove and turning it off completely. The pancake - or, at least, what could loosely be described as a pancake - was burnt to a crisp. "Roman and I were curious."

Virgil hummed. "Roman?"

"My friend," Remy said, grinning.

"He seems like a bad influence."

"Hey!" Roman exclaimed, looking highly offended. Virgil smirked a little, as it reminded him of his own brother.

"Who taught you how to cook?" Virgil asked.

"I did," Roman said, proudly.

Virgil snorted. "Well. Maybe get some actual lessons." He sighed. "I'll make the pancakes. You two stay far away from the stove."

Apparently not wanting to argue any further, Remy and Roman retreated to the table, whilst Virgil took over cooking, throwing out the burnt pancake and starting to make a fresh one. As he cooked, he half-listened to the conversation behind him, not really paying attention until-

"-my brother, Remus-"

"Remus?" Virgil repeated, glancing back.

Roman stared back at him. "Do you know him?"

Virgil hesitated. "We, uh, assuming we're talking about the same Remus, I haven't spoken to him, but I've heard about it, and seen him around..."

He put the final pancake onto the pile and moved them to the kitchen table, moving to grab three plates and a few toppings for the three of them to eat.

"Remus would probably like you," Roman said. "From what I've heard from Remy at least, it sounds like you two have a lot in common."

Frowning, Virgil replied, "Really?" He dragged a pancake onto his plate and drowned it in maple syrup.

"I mean, you listen to a lot of the same music," Roman said, shrugging. "He likes horror games. He dabbles in stage makeup."

"I don't dabble in stage makeup," Virgil said, noticeably not disagreeing with the rest.

"Oh my God, Roman, you should have seen him when he was fourteen," Remy said, leaning over the table closer to Roman. "I swear to God, I've never seen somebody wear so much eyeliner-"

"Shut up," Virgil said through gritted teeth.

"Honestly," Remy continued, "I don't think he's ever fully come out of his emo phase, but at least he's learned how much eyeliner is generally acceptable."

"I'm right here, you know."

"Oh! You should've seen Remus a couple years ago!" Roman chuckled. "He was very much falling with the eyeliner as well. And everything else. I had to teach him everything just so he wouldn't go out looking like a complete idiot."

Remy asked. "Wait, maybe you could give Virgil some tips!"

"I don't need any tips," Virgil said, dragging the plate of pancakes closer to himself so the other two would find it harder to reach them - a tiny act of revenge.

"Oh my God, I'd actually be so down to teach him, though! I could go through some cool eyeshadow stuff, like different colours and stuff, Remus and I did some pride flag ones a couple years ago when we went to a parade-"

Virgil stood up. "Okay, I guess I'll leave since you guys already think I'm not in the room." He made his way back to his bedroom, taking the plate of pancakes with him.

~*~

Virgil couldn't stop staring at Remus. He seemed to see him every single day, always walking in the same places, almost as if they were following each other. And Remus never caught him staring, but sometimes Virgil felt like he was staring back, even if Virgil himself couldn't see him in the area.

Patton and Logan stopped taking notice. For a while, they would ask Virgil about it, continuously warning him that Remus wouldn't be good for him. But soon they stopped. Maybe they realised that Virgil wouldn't stop.

And despite the fact that the two had never interacted, Virgil found himself completely obsessed with Remus. It almost scared him.

One day in Spring, a month or so after Virgil joined the school, he was standing alone in the hallway, waiting for Patton to leave their class, when somebody bumped into his shoulder. Adrenaline immediately kicked in as his brain told him that it was going to be exactly the same as last time, that the safety he was beginning to feel at this new school had been shattered, but then he saw who it was and he froze.

Remus stood a few steps away from Virgil, glancing back and smirking. He began to slowly walk down the hallway, glancing back every few seconds, almost as if he was expecting Virgil to follow.

He did. Virgil stalked behind him, still a few metres away. Remus sped up, and Virgil copied, following him until they had made it out of the school and round the corner, to a small garden behind the school. Remus sat down on a bench and looked Virgil in the eyes, patting the seat besides him. Frowning, Virgil went over and sat down.

"Hey," Remus said. "What's your name?"

Virgil blinked. "Uh, Virgil."

"Virgil," Remus whispered. "Huh. Roman mentioned a Virgil..."

"He- what?"

"Oh, nothing." Remus hummed. "Have you been following me?"

"What?"

"I see you everywhere," Remus said. "D has, too. They were starting to get concerned-"

Virgil glanced down. "D spoke to me ages ago. They told me to stay away from you."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Oh, did they? And yet you still continued to follow me everywhere?"

"I haven't been following you," Virgil said, truthfully. "I actually thought you were following me."

Remus laughed.

Virgil frowned. "What's funny about that?"

"Well, other than the fact that it is a tiny bit true, I just think it's funny that we both thought we had stalkers."

"I didn't think you were stalking me," Virgil said.

To that, Remus just smirked at him. Virgil tried his best to avoid his gaze.

"I know you from somewhere," Remus claimed.

Virgil fiddled with his fingers. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He hummed. "I can't... I've been trying to figure it out but can't for the life of me. You are new at this school, right? Like, you weren't just hiding?”

Virgil breathed in. "I'm new. But I lived in this city when I was younger."

Remus' eyes widened. "Wait, shit, are you Virgil Sanders."

Virgil glanced at him. "Yeah?"

"I'm Remus Prince," Remus said.

Virgil blinked. "Okay?"

"We... You went to Saint John's Elementary School, right?"

Virgil's eyes widened. "Wait, Duke?"

Remus held his arms out. "The one and only."

"Oh my God!" That's why Virgil couldn't stop staring at Remus. They were... God, Remus was...

~*~

Virgil didn't have many friends back in Elementary School. Well, he didn't have many friends period, but at least in Elementary School he had the fantasy gang.

He wasn't exactly friends with anyone in the fantasy gang. They would just play together during the breaks. He wasn't even sure on all of their names - none of them were in his classes, so he only ever spent around twenty minutes with them every day.

There weren't a lot of them. There was Virgil, playing the Knight, and the others - the Princess, the Dragon, the Queen and the King.

And then there was the only one that Virgil was particularly close to - the Duke.

In the fantasy world the six of them had created, him and the Duke spent a lot of time together, as both of them set off on the quest to save the Princess. They would often fight the Dragon side by side, and during scenes with just the royals they would both sit to the side and chat, with no real reason for them to join in on the action.

He remembered that the Duke liked swinging on the trees. There was one tree in the corner of the playground which had branches low enough to climb, so the Duke would make his way up there and hang upside, mostly just to make Virgil laugh. Maybe he realised that things weren't going great for Virgil, and that by doing that Virgil would gain a tiny bit of happiness. To be fair, it worked. Virgil himself never wanted to climb the tree, for fear that he might fall down, but that was fine - he enjoyed sitting at the bottom and watching the Duke from afar.

They never talked much about themselves, but sometimes Remus would mention his older brother, and Virgil would talk about his older brother too. A lot of the time, though, they'd just sit together under the tree as they watched the rest of the fantasy gang play, waiting for their own turn.

One day Remus leant his head on Virgil's shoulder, and that was the day that Virgil realised he had made a friend.

~*~

"We have a problem," Roman said, shoving Remy's school books out the way and sitting on the desk in front of him.

Remy looked up, looking slightly annoyed. "I was doing that, y'know."

"Okay, but I have tea," Roman said.

Remy immediately refocused his attention onto Roman. "Spill. Now."

"My brother has a crush," Roman began.

Remy hummed. "Yeah, not surprising."

"On your brother."

Remy slammed his hands on the table. "No way."

"Yes, way." Roman grinned. "Remus and Virgil are in love and they're both too dumb to realise it."

"How do you know?" Remy asked.

"I'm an expert on romance, obviously."

Remy rolled his eyes. "Seriously. Has Remus said anything?"

"Well, no, not exactly, but-"

"We've gotta be sure," Remy interrupted. "I wouldn't... Virgil's already been through so much."

"I'm sure that Remus likes him. He won't shut up about him," Roman said. "I was reading some of his writing the other day, and I swear to God one of the characters in it was some sort of fictional version of Virgil. The love interest, as well."

Remy raised an eyebrow. "Your brother writes?"

"He does murder mysteries," Roman quickly said. "He doesn't really like me reading them, but he's always stealing my sketchbook so he can't really say anything." He breathed in. "Anyway, I'm certain that Remus is into Virgil."

Remy hummed. "I'm not sure if Virgil is, though."

"No, he definitely is," Roman said. "I have a friend - well, not really ‘friend’, but we're in the same theatre company. His name's Logan. And he's also friends with Virgil, I think..."

Remy nodded. "Yeah, Virge mentioned a Logan at one point."

"Right. Well, I was talking to Logan, and he told me that Virgil is always staring at Remus. Like, an unhealthy amount." Roman sighed. "I'm just... why else would Virgil be staring at Remus?"

Remy pursed his lips. "We should set them up."

Roman gasped. "Oh my God, yes!"

"I don't know how, though. Convincing Virgil to leave the house would be a nightmare."

Roman smirked. "I have an idea."

~*~

He was in his kitchen. Why the fuck was Remus in his kitchen?

"Oh, hey Virge," Remus said, ignoring Virgil's puzzled expression as he raided the fridge.

"Who let you in my house?"

"Oh, my brother is hanging out with your brother and I'm not allowed to be in the house by myself," Remus said, as he took out a salad - Virgil's salad that he was saving for later - and began to eat it.

"And now you're stealing my salad," Virgil sighed.

Remus blinked. "Oh, shit, is this yours?" he asked, shoving it towards Virgil.

"Well." Virgil smacked his lips together. "It was. But I can make another." He climbed onto the table and sat on it cross legged, as Remus took a chair and placed the salad in front of him. "So. Why aren't you allowed to be home alone?"

"That's... a long story."

Virgil shrugged. "I'm not doing anything."

Remus eyes lit up. "Well. I'd imagine it has something to do with that time I almost burnt the house down trying to find out what would happen if I put eggs into the microwave."

Virgil blinked. "How- How did you almost burn the house down doing that-"

Remus grinned. "Well, the microwave exploded 'cause I put, like, ten eggs in there, and then it set fire to the curtains in the kitchen, and long story short, the fire engines didn't take long to arrive."

Virgil breathed in. "Was everything okay?"

"Yeah, it was fine. The curtains are just a little scarred." He hummed. "Although, it could also have something to do with the fact that I attempted a blood sacrifice in the living room..."

"You what?" Virgil exclaimed.

Remus laughed. "I was, like, ten, okay? And I didn't get very far. I found a dead rat in the street and thought that if I used that as a sacrifice I could summon a demon, which would be so cool, y'know?"

Virgil chuckled. "I mean, I guess that would be cool."

"Right?" Remus shook his head. "My parents, however, did not think it was cool."

For a moment, the two just stared at each other, smiling softly, because Virgil finally said, "I missed you, y'know?"

Remus blinked. "Huh?"

"When we... Well, you were just about my only friend," Virgil said. "And I know we didn't hang out much, but we always had such a good time."

Remus smiled. "Yeah. The fantasy gang was great."

"I didn't care about the rest of them," Virgil said. “Just... Just you."

Remus fell silent. "Oh."

"And when we did move away, I didn't really have anyone else. I mean, I had Remy, but..." He glanced down, fixing his eyes on the table.

"Did you... not make any new friends?" Remus wondered.

Virgil plastered on a smile. "I've never been one for new people."

Remus hummed. "You made friends with Patton pretty quickly, though."

"They didn't really give me much of a choice." Virgil sighed. "Things... weren't great at the new school. I mean, they weren't brilliant back when we were friends, but... at least we were friends."

Remus smiled, staring at Virgil for a moment longer with fondness in his eyes. "How come you didn't speak to me sooner?"

Virgil blinked. "What?"

"I mean, you saw me weeks ago, right?" Remus said. "Like, you could've spoken to me then."

"I wanted to," Virgil admitted. "Not because I recognised you, but because... I don't know. I felt drawn to you, I guess." He fiddled with his fingers. "But Patton told me not too. And then D told me to stay away from you. So..."

Remus reached over and grabbed Virgil's hands, squeezing them a little too tight, but Virgil didn't protest. "Don't listen to them. I... felt drawn to you too, I guess. I still do."

Virgil smiled.

~*~

"Oh my God," Remy moaned, stepping back into his bedroom, where Roman waited sprawled across his bed, after having spied on Virgil and Remus.

"What's going on?" Roman asked, immediately jumping up and readjusting his skirt.

Remy collapsed onto his bed. "They're being insufferably cheesy. And they haven't even realised that they're in love yet!"

"What are they talking about?" Roman asked. "Tell me everything."

Remy sighed. "They're, like, talking about how they used to be friends or something, and how they missed each other, and then they start saying that they're drawn to each other. Like, what does that even mean?"

Roman grinned. "It means they like each other, Remy. They're soulmates."

“Soulmates aren’t real, Roman.”

“Shut up, they totally are.” Roman clapped his hands together. “Maybe we should talk to them. Help them to realise.”

Remy hummed. “They won’t confess today, will they?”

“Unless we can talk to either of them in private,” Roman said.

“I’ll talk to Virgil after school tomorrow,” Remy decided. “You talk to Remus?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

~*~

When Virgil walked through his front door the following afternoon, he stopped in his path as he saw Remy leaning against the wall, a smirk upon his face.

Virgil blinked. “What have you done now?”

“So.” Remy pushed himself off the wall, stepping towards his younger brother. “You and Remus, huh?”

Virgil frowned. “What… What about us?”

“I heard you two are pretty close,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“I mean, we’re friends, I guess?” Virgil attempted to walk further into the house, but Remy blocked him.

“Just friends?”

Virgil blinked. “Wh-What else would we be?”

“Well, what do you think of Remus?” Remy asked.

“I- I don’t-” He breathed in. “Wait, do you think I like him?”

Remy hummed. “Perhaps.”

“We’re just friends,” Virgil said. “He’s a nice guy, I guess. We were friends when we were kids, and now we’re friends again.”

“Hmm.”

“What?” Virgil sighed. “Is this because I stare at him a lot? It’s not my fault that he has such an amazing fashion sense. And a beautiful white strip of hair always falling over his eyes. Beautiful eyes, actually - have you seen them? They have, like, little green specks in them.”

Remy giggled.

“What?”

“Just, the way you’re talking about him is proving my point.”

“I’m not…” Virgil’s eyes widened. “Shit.” It made sense, actually. It explained why he was so drawn to Remus, why he couldn’t stop staring at him, why he couldn’t get him out of his mind. “Fuck, maybe I do like him,” he whispered.

Remy’s giggling grew louder, until he turned around and walked upstairs.

“Remy, wait, I-”

Remy slammed his bedroom door, leaving Virgil alone with his thoughts.

~*~

Virgil stared at Remus across the cafeteria. Watched him laugh with D, play with his food, just be an absolute dork, and Virgil couldn’t help but be mesmerised by his every action. Remy’s words from the day before circled around his head, the revelation that he had since come to accept as the absolute truth. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep this up for.

He stood up.

“Virgil,” Patton said, “are you-”

“I’ll be right back,” he said, walking away from the table despite Patton’s protests.

He came up besides Remus and placed his hand on the table next to him, ignoring the glares he got from D. Remus looked up at him, a little alarmed.

“Uhm, can I-”

“Come with me,” Virgil said, grabbing Remus’ wrist and dragging him from the scene. Remus followed willingly, but Virgil didn’t let go of his wrist. Virgil led him out of the cafeteria and around a corner, to a corridor devoid of students.

“Virgil, what-”

“I know we probably shouldn’t be talking right now,” Virgil said. “Since D and Patton probably aren’t too happy. But…”

“It’s okay,” Remus said. “D won’t mind. And if Patton says anything I will fight them.”

“You absolutely will not fight them,” Virgil said. “Patton may be wrong about you, but they’re still a good friend.”

Remus shrugged. “Okay then. But what did you want?”

Virgil breathed in. “Okay, so, I’ve been thinking an awful lot lately, and I’ve realised that…” His hands were getting sweaty and his heart rate was beginning to increase. “I, uh…” Why had he thought this would be a good idea?“

Remus frowned. "Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

Virgil cleared his thought. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He breathed in again. “Um, basically, I…”

“Let me guess, you’re madly in love with me,” Remus joked.

Virgil glanced down, avoiding Remus’ gaze.

Remus blinked. “Wait, shit, was that right?”

Virgil smiled nervously. “Uh… maybe?”

Remus laughed. “Seriously?”

Fuck. Remus thought it was funny. That… That must mean he didn’t feel the same way, right? That must mean that Virgil had majorly fucked up somehow. Shit - what if Remus wasn’t even gay? He did have a rainbow pin in his jacket, but he was also friends with D so maybe that was just to show his support. Virgil didn’t remember Remus ever mentioning an attraction to guys.

God, why had he just jumped into like that? Under any other circumstances, he wouldn’t have. Under any other circumstances, he would have stood back and thought about it, made sure that he wouldn’t ruin his life by acting upon his impulses.

What if this meant that Remus would stop being friends with Virgil? What if he thought it was weird? What if it made him uncomfortable? What if Remus hatedhim because of this? What if?

Remus stopped laughing. He placed a hand on Virgil’s shoulder, now looking serious. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Virgil used all of his willpower to stop himself from shoving Remus’ hand off. “I’m sorry. I… You don’t feel the same way, I get it. I shouldn’t have sprung that on you. And, um, if it makes you uncomfortable-”

Remus snorted. “Sorry, if it makes me what?”

Virgil blinked. “I- If me liking you like that is, like, weird? I mean, I get it. You’re not gay, or whatever, and we’re just friends, so…”

That made Remus laugh even harder.

Virgil tried to steady his breathing. “Wh-What’s so funny about that?”

After composing himself, Remus shook his head, a massive grin across his face. “Sorry, I just… I’m offended that you’d even think that I’m straight.”

Virgil blinked. “You’re… You’re not straight?”

“Are you kidding me?” Remus closed his eyes. “I am a massive homosexual. I don’t know why anybody would think otherwise.”

Okay. So he was attracted to men. That was at least one good thing. “But…”

“And I don’t find it weird,” Remus continued. “At all. I mean, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought about kissing you on multiple occasions.”

Virgil’s eyes widened. Did… Did that mean…

“I guess what I’m trying to say,” Remus said, taking Virgil’s hands, “is that I feel the same way.”

Virgil looked back up, making eye contact with Remus, and smiled.

“I’m fact, if it’s something that you want, I’d be honoured to be your boyfriend,” Remus announced.

And in that moment, Virgil was sure that he would cry.

~*~

“We need to talk,” Patton said, as Virgil left his final class. The two began to walk down the hallway and out the school, Virgil’s anxiety beginning to kick in.

“Am I in trouble?” he asked.

Patton frowned. “No? Why would you think you’re in trouble?”

Virgil shrugged. “I don’t know. Why else would you want to talk to me?”

“You’re not in trouble,” Patton promised, eyes darting around. “I’m just… concerned.”

“About what?”

Patton pursed their lips. “You talked to Remus earlier, right?”

“Yeah,” Virgil confirmed. “He’s an alright guy, actually.”

They stepped out the school, Virgil adjusting his backpack slightly.

“I know you and Logan have something against him, or whatever, but…” Virgil shrugged. “I knew him when we were kids. And we’ve reconnected, I guess. I promise he’s an alright guy.”

Patton glanced at him, skeptically, but apparently gave in. “Well, alright. Be careful, though. If he hurts you, tell me.”

Virgil faked a smile. “Yeah, of course.”

Patton nodded. “Well. Take care.” They smiled, and then ran off to join Logan on the other side of the field, leaving Virgil to walk home alone.

~*~

“Remus,” D said. “Are you even listening to me?”

Remus tore his eyes away from Virgil and looked back at D. “Huh?”

D sighed. “I was saying that you seem a little distracted lately. So I guess that proves my point.”

“Yeah, definitely,” Remus said, eyes drifting back towards Virgil.

“Remus,” D said again, more forcibly. “What’s going on?”

Remus blinked, and returned his attention to D. “Oh, I have a boyfriend.”

D frowned. “You do?”

“Yeah,” Remus said. “Sorry, did I not mention?”

D glanced to the side, trying to follow Remus’ previous gaze. “No, actually, you didn’t.”

“Oh. Well. Now you know.”

“Who is it?” D asked.

“Just some guy, you wouldn’t know him,” Remus said.

“Remus.”

“Okay, okay.” He breathed in. “His name is Virgil.”

D gasped. “As in, Virgil the stalker?”

“He’s a stalker!” Remus defended. “If anything I’m the stalker.”

“I thought we decided that you should stay away from him,” D recalled.

“Yeah, well, me and him go way back, okay?” Remus sighed. “I know what I’m doing. Virgil is good for me.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” D said.

“I’m not gonna get hurt.” Remus smiled. “If he ever breaks my heart, I give you full permission to murder him.”

D raised an eyebrow.

“Actually, no,” Remus decided. “You can’t murder him. Because I like him. But if he hurts me you can definitely fight him.”

D smirked. “Wow. No murder. You must really like him this time.”

“Shut up,” Remus said, chuckling.

~*~

Virgil rested his head on Remus’s shoulder, as Remus absentmindedly stroked through Virgil’s hair. They were sat on Virgil’s bed, trying their hardest to ignore the noise from Remy and Roman next door. It was nice like this. Just the two of them.

Turning his head to the side, Virgil stretched his neck out and pecked Remus on the cheek, something that he’d been wanting to do for a while. And although Remus tried to play it off, Virgil caught his cheeks turning a light shade of red.

Virgil snuggled further into his side, slowly wrapping his arm around Remus’ back and beginning to draw invisible circles on his arm. He listened to Remus humming in appreciation, and Virgil allowed himself to melt into his body, feeling perfectly content.

After a few more moments of pure bliss, Remus twisted his head down to look at Virgil. He leant down, so close that Virgil was able to feel his breath on his face, and then their two lips interlocked, and Virgil’s heart burst.

It wasn’t quite how he imagined, but that was okay. Somehow, it was even better. Remus was passionate, and daring, and didn’t hold back, and Virgil couldn’t have been more happy about that fact. Virgil himself was timid, and he knew that, and it was a part of him he was willing to accept, but having Remus here… well, it made him feel alive. Made him feel like he could do anything.

Like, for instance, it made him feel as though he could kiss Remus back. Still connected to Remus, Virgil pushed himself up so he was no longer slouched on Remus’ body. He pushed Remus against the wall, kissing back harder. At first, Remus seemed a little surprised, but he soon caught on and kissed back, sending the two into battle.

A battle to see who’s love was stronger, who’s passion was larger. And there wasn’t a winner, exactly. Or a loser. Just the plain, simple evidence that the two’s hearts were better as one, that they were meant to be.

They danced around each other, wanting more and more, and never wanting to stop.

They were happy.

~*~

Remus nudged Virgil’s shoulder. “You’ll have to tell them eventually, y'know.”

Virgil glanced down. “I… I know. It’s harder with them.”

“They do know that you’re gay, right?” Remus checked.

Virgil nodded. “Well, yeah, of course. Who doesn’t?”

"So what are you so afraid of?”

Virgil breathed in and out. “Look, Patton’s having a hard enough time wrapping their head around the fact that you’re my friend, let alone boyfriend.”

Remus backed off a little after that statement. “Ah. That would be an issue.”

“Yeah.” Virgil shoved his hands in his pockets. “I just… I need to wait for the right time. I’m sure they’ll come around eventually.”

“Why do they hate me, anyway?” Remus wondered.

Virgil shrugged. “No clue. Apparently Logan told them something. They won’t tell me what.”

“Oh.” Remus hummed. “Logan is friends with Roman, I think. Wouldn’t be surprised if Roman has told him horror stories, or something. Either way, they’re probably not true.”

Virgil laughed nervously. “Probably?” he repeated.

“Well, I have done some shit,” Remus admitted. “Nothing dangerous.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Anything illegal?”

Remus thought for a moment. “I mean, probably.”

“Oh, shit, am I dating a criminal mastermind?”

“Would that be a problem for you?”

“No, no.” Virgil chuckled. “Actually, I think I’d be pretty into it.”

“Oh, in that case, I do in fact break laws daily,” Remus said. “I’m wanted in all seven continents and constantly on the run. Crime is my favourite thing to do.”

Virgil laughed, not even attempting - or wanting - to hold it back.

“I’m all seriousness though,” Remus said, “I haven’t broken any serious laws. I haven’t done any of the drugs and I haven’t murdered anyone just yet.”

“Should I be concerned about the yet part?” Virgil asked.

“Honestly if I were dating me, I’d be a little concerned in general.” Remus grinned.

Virgil smiled back. “But if you haven’t done the drugs or the murder yet, what have you done?”

“Oh, y'know. The usual.” He shrugged. “Pirating. Underage drinking. A little light shoplifting.”

“Eh. Who doesn’t do that?” Virgil shook his head. “I mean, asides from the shoplifting, I don’t think many people do that, but if it’s from a large corporation and you need the stuff I don’t really see the issue.”

Remus smirked. “So… you don’t mind?”

Virgil shrugged. “Be gay, do crime, am I right?”

“Oh thank fuck.”

~*~

Virgil sat at the dinner table, feeding himself spaghetti and trying to ignore his fathers gaze.

“So,” his mother said, looking expectedly at Virgil, “how come you never invite your friend around when we’re home.”

Virgil frowned. “What friend?”

“Y'know, that friend,” his mother repeated. “The one that’s always around.” She turned to his brother. “Remy, dear, what did you say his name was?”

“You mean Remus?” Remy offered.

“Remus! That’s it.” His mother turned back to Virgil. “He’s come round a few times now, hasn’t he?”

There was a brief silence as Virgil sucked up his piece of spaghetti, mostly to avoid the question. “He’s a friend,” he finally said.

His mother smiled, but it seemed somewhat bitter. “I’m glad you’re making friends, Virgil, but it just seems odd. You’ve never really invited anyone over before.”

“Oh. Well.” Virgil shrugged. “He’s my boyfriend. So I guess that’s a little different.”

His mother giggled. Remy glanced at Virgil, looking alarmed. His father just stared harder.

“What?” Virgil felt his shoulder tense up. “I’m not joking. Remus is actually my boyfriend.”

His mother snorted. “Yeah, real funny Virgil. We know you’re not… that.”

Virgil frowned. “Actually, uh, I am. I’ve known that I’m gay for a while now. So.”

His mother stared at him. “You’re not joking, are you?” she said, sounding serious.

Virgil locked his eyes on the table. Why the fuck had he done that? He… He should’ve known that his mother would react that way. The family always tended to shy away from that kind of stuff - asides from Remy, of course, supportive as ever - so why would he even think that his mother would be okay with any of this?

Remy raised a hand. “Uh, if it’s any consolation, I’m also gay. And I’m pretty sure Dad’s bisexual, not gonna lie.”

His father glared daggers at Remy, and Remy lowered his hand.

“Okay, maybe he isn’t bi, but I am actually a massive homosexual.”

“Remy, you’re not helping,” his mother said, through gritted teeth. She turned back to Virgil, plastering on a fake smile. “How long have you been like that?”

Virgil frowned. “Well, I’d imagine my whole life, but I realised when I was, like, thirteen? Fourteen? Some time around then.”

His mother shook her head. “No, that can’t be right. I mean, you haven’t had any… any boyfriends before, have you?”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “I haven’t really had any friends period. I’m just nowstarting to get friends and the fact I also just happen to enjoy kissing one of them doesn’t change that.”

“Don’t talk about kissing boys at the dinner table,” his mother chided.

“If I was talking about kissing girls would you think differently?”

His mother spluttered, not able to get any words out.

“Thought so.” Virgil stood up. “I guess I’ll just got talk about kissing boys somewhere else.” He left the kitchen, taking his spaghetti with him.

~*~

There was a gentle knock on his bedroom door. Assuming that it was his mother, Virgil wrapped his blankets tighter around him and tried to wipe away his tears and steady his breathing. Maybe if she thought he wasn’t in here, she would go away.

He heard the door open, footsteps creeping towards his bed, and felt somebody weigh down on him, sitting on the end of his bed. He buried himself deeper into his mattress, trying his very hardest to disappear. The person placed a hand on Virgil’s back - or his duvet, really - and rubbed gently. Virgil wanted to swipe the hand away, until he heard a voice.

“Hey, Virge.” It was Remy. Just Remy. “I’m… sorry about back there. I know Mom can be a little intense.”

Virgil turned over, unwrapping his blankets slightly so he could see Remy. “That wasn’t intense. That was just…”

“I know, I know.” Remy sighed. “She’ll come around.”

Virgil closed his eyes, trying to stop his tears. “I don’t think she will.”

“She will,” Remy promised. “And… if she doesn’t, if it gets any worse, I’ll just take you away. We can get our own place and you can have as many boyfriends as you want. I mean, I’m assuming you just want the one, but you know what I mean. We’d never even have to see her again.”

“And Dad?” Virgil wondered. “He didn’t even say anything.”

“He’ll come around too,” Remy promised. “They both will. Things will get better.”

Virgil lifted his blanket over his head again.

“If it makes any difference, I’m happy for you,” Remy said. “You have an amazing boyfriend, and being gay is just about the best thing you can be.”

Virgil huffed, smiling a little.

“Do you want me to stay here?” Remy asked.

“No, it’s fine,” Virgil said. “You go back to bed.”

“Okay.” Remy patted him. “I’m next door if you next anything.”

~*~

Virgil felt himself get pushed against the wall. He had just left his class before lunch, and turned into an empty hallway when the attacker stuck. His heart rate increased, brain screaming that things were going back to the way it was before, but then the ‘attacker’ pressed against his lips, kissing him, and Virgil realised what was going on. He relaxed a little, kissing back.

Eventually Remus pulled away, and smirked at Virgil. “Oh my God, you should’ve seen your face then.”

Virgil breathed in. “That wasn’t funny, Remus. I was genuinely afraid for a second.”

“What did you think I was gonna do?”

Virgil sighed. “I dunno. Punch me. Kick me. Threaten me with a knife.”

Remus seemed a little upset about that. “Why would I do any of that?”

“Usually when people push me against a wall, it means one of those three things are coming,” Virgil said, through a smile. He began to walk down the hall again, towards the cafeteria.

“Has… Has that happened to you before?” Remus asked, jogging a little to catch up.

“Well, asides from the knife part.” Virgil shrugged. “I mean, you know about my last school, right?”

“I know you said you had a hard time there, but…”

“Well, that was what I was talking about.” Virgil shoved his hands in his pockets. “I mean, not just that, of course, but that was a big part of it.”

“Virgil,” Remus said, softly, “I’m sorry.”

Virgil shrugged. “Eh. It’s in the past. Nothing bad has happened at this school yet. And I’ve got you to protect me.”

“Still.” Remus wrapped an arm around Virgil’s shoulder. “You never should’ve had to deal with that. I’m… I’ll find everyone who did, and threaten them with a knife.”

“You really don’t have to do that,” Virgil said.

“They did it to you.”

“Nobody threatened me with a knife.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t threaten them.”

Virgil smiled. “Okay, well, thanks anyway. I don’t… I don’t really think any of them deserve to be punished for what they did, but…”

“Of course they do,” Remus said. “They hurt you, Virgil.”

“Yeah, and I’d never want the same to happen to them.” Virgil sighed. “We were young and stupid. They probably didn’t know any better. I just… hope they learn something from it. Hope they grow out of being massive dicks.”

Remus hummed. “Well. I won’t dig any further, then.”

They reached the cafeteria, and split off, Remus going to join D and Virgil going to join Patton and Logan.

~*~

Virgil laid in his bed, holding his phone up in front of his face. It was now or never, really. He had to tell someone about Remus, especially after what went down with his parents a couple nights previously. He was fed up of keeping this a secret from his friends. But it was harder than it looked.

He read over his message one more time:

hey guys, so i know this may come as a shock to you, buuuuut i just so happen to have a boyfriend. and i’ve been meaning to tell you for like ages but apparently can’t bring myself to say it to your faces. so yeah uhhh please don’t hate me thanks bye

Cringing a little but trying his best to ignoring his brain, he closed his eyes, pressed send, and threw his phone to the side. He brought up his hands and covered his face, taking deep breathes. His phone buzzed about fifty times, but he ignored it, scared to see what the others would say. Eventually, the phone started ringing.

He glanced over, seeing Patton’s name pop up on the screen. He groaned. Really wasn’t in the mood to talk. Texting was one thing, holding a conversation was another.

He let the call go to voicemail, then picked up his phone, reading through the messages in the group chat.

Patton: :O

Patton: Virgil!

Patton: that’s awesome!!!

Patton: who is it?

Logan: Oh, that is great news Virgil. If the reason you were afraid to tell us is because of the implications of having a 'boyfriend’ rather than a 'girlfriend’, I’d just like to let you know that I support you regardless of that fact, and I assume Patton does as well. I’m sure you’re aware of Patton’s pansexuality and my own homosexuality, so really no issue. That being said, I’m very happy for you.

Patton: tell me everything!!!!!

Patton: oh yeah Logan’s right of course we accept you v

Patton: Virgil? You there buddy?

Patton: Virgilllllllll

Virgil breathed in, and quickly typed out a response.

Virgil: yeah, uh, thanks guys. i mean i wasn’t afraid about the whole gay thing anyway but i’m glad to know that y'all accept me and shit.

Virgil: anyway. uh.

Virgil: i’m dating remus.

~*~

The next day at school, all six of them sat together for lunch. Patton invited Remus and D over to their own table, which Remus quickly accepted and D more reluctantly accepted after heavy persuasion from Remus. After texting his friends the night before, Virgil had managed to convince them that Remus was good for him. Upon explaining that he was in love and all that, Patton was pretty quick to accept it all. And Logan didn’t really need much convincing - he never really had that much of a problem with Remus in the first place, only knowing what Roman had told him.

But he and Remus were together now, and nothing could stop that. Maybe his mother hadn’t spoken to him since that dinner, but Virgil didn’t care too much about that - it wasn’t as if she spoke much to him before. Same with his father. He had Remy, at least, still supporting him from the side, and Roman now as well he guessed.

Remus and Virgil held hands under the table as they ate. And that was fine. Everything was fine now.

~*~

Virgil collapsed against Remus’ body, closing his eyes. It was after school, and neither particularly wanted to go home, so they sat together on the school field, watching the clouds float by. Remus wrapped an arm around Virgil’s shoulder, pulling him in tight.

“Thank you,” Virgil whispered. “For being here.”

Remus began to stroke Virgil’s hair. “You don’t need to thank me.”

“But this is exactly what I needed. After all the shit that went down in my last school,” Virgil said.

Remus shook his head. “You don’t need a boyfriend because of that. You need a support system, and you have it. I’m just glad your friends don’t hate me anymore.”

Virgil giggled. “Yeah, I guess that’s a plus.”

“I’m glad you came back,” Remus said. “I missed you so much.”

“Well.” Virgil smiled. “I’m never leaving again.”

They kissed, all of their worries fading away into the air around them.

#dukexiety #tw panic attack #tw cursing #tw homophobia #tw threats #spring fling 2020 #submission

[missfay49]

Just Listen

Summary: The fam-ILY gets together for a Christmas celebration.  

Warnings: Logan and Virgil get in a fight but they make up, obligatory interaction with relatives, alcohol, food, Christmas, cursing, countdown, mention of past injury, struggling with recent hearing loss

Word Count: ~3000 

Oldest to Youngest: Logan/Remus/Roman/Janus/Virgil/Patton/Alec

Other Characters: Aunt Patty and Uncle Mitch, Aunt Mel and Uncle Jim, Titi, Grandma Sanders, Grandpa Sanders, Maman, Nico Flores

DD:HH:MM:SS - Days : Hours : Minutes : Seconds

AO3

Once upon a time, there were seven cousins born of four siblings.  The oldest sister and her husband had twins and named them Roman and Remus.  The second oldest sister and her partners had a child and named him Alec.  The youngest sister had one child and named him Patton.  And their brother, the youngest of them all, had three children named Logan, Janus, and Virgil.  

00:16:02:32 until Christmas Day, 7:58 AM

Logan, the oldest cousin, was leaning against the kitchen counter holding a fresh cup of coffee in one hand and rubbing his right temple with the other.  He blinked against the early morning sun of Christmas Eve streaming in.  

“You’re up early!”

Logan jumped at the movement to his right and found his aunt looking at him. 

“Good morning, Aunt Mel.  I made coffee.”

“Bless ya, kid,” she said, turning toward the machine.  When she came back around to grab the sugar, he was gone.

00:13:25:17 until Christmas Day, 10:35 AM

“Who took the last piece of bacon?!”  

Roman froze in his spot on the floor in front of the T.V.  If he were just very, very still, maybe-

“J’accuse!”  Remus shouted from the kitchen door over the sounds of chatter and clinking kitchenware.  Roman spun around to see Remus pointing at him menacingly.

“You already had some!”  Roman yelled back, pulling his plate close.  Remus, not breaking eye contact even once, methodically kicked off his flip flops and set his plate gently on top of a bookshelf.  He crouched a little and rolled his shoulders.

“Remus, no, my juice, Remus!  NOOO-”

00:13:23:03 until Christmas Day, 10:37 AM

From his cozy spot beneath the sheets in the spare bedroom, Virgil heard a scream and a thump.  And then several more thumps.  He blinked and stretched, smooshing his face into the pillow.  For one precious moment, he imagined he could go back to sleep but the dream was pierced by Aunt Patty’s shrill voice scolding someone down the hall.  

He shoved himself up on his elbows and sent a hostile glare at the general brightness of the room.  Things quieted down but it was too late - he was up.  He stretched for several more minutes before finally straightening his clothes and stumbling out to follow the smell of breakfast.

00:12:40:54 until Christmas Day, 11:20 AM

Virgil shuffled past the subdued twins in the living room and into the kitchen, stopping at the door as his brain tried to process what was happening.  His younger cousin, Patton, was furtively opening and closing all the cabinets, searching each and every one.  Apparently he found what he was looking for, because he started chuckling to himself and reached behind some cups to pull out a huge plastic bag of cookies.  He opened it and spun around on his socks, walking headlong into Virgil.

“Ah!”  Patton nearly dropped the bag, and a couple cookies fell out onto the floor.  Virgil laughed as they picked them up together.

“Whatcha doing, Pat?”

Patton waved him close, whispering.  

“My mom keeps hiding the cookies.  She said if I keep eating ‘em she’s gonna have to make more for tomorrow.  That sounds like a win-win to me!”  He took the floor cookie from Virgil and pocketed it.  They took turns peering into the dining room where the older folks were talking.

“You do you, cuz.”  They bumped fists and Virgil scooped some cold leftover eggs onto a paper plate to take with him to the living room.  Remus shoved past him coming back into the kitchen.  

Whatever Remus had planned to do in here was lost when he spotted Pat.

“Oo!  Cookies!”

00:11:22:49 until Christmas Day, 12:38 PM

“What exactly are we watching, Roman?” asked Patton, popping a couple Tums into his mouth and flopping down into a recliner.  Roman was still planted in the middle of the living room floor, but now Virgil was keeping him company, fast asleep on the couch with an empty plate in his lap.  Roman didn’t look away from the screen.

“A Christmas Prince.  It’s about a journalist that falls in love with the prince of a whole Christmas-themed country!  And the bad guy’s not too bad lookin’ either.”  Roman squeezed a pillow to his chest.

“Oh, right, I thought it looked familiar!  Did you watch Jenny Nicholson’s breakdown of it?”

“Who?”

Patton smiled at the look of wonder on Roman’s face as he followed the characters on screen.  At the silence, Roman turned around to look at him, distracted but curious.  Patton waved him off.  

“Never mind.”  Better not to spoil it.

00:07:12:24 until Christmas Day, 16:47 PM

“Dinner tiiime!”  Aunt Patty peeked into the living room.  “It’s all ready, you guys hungry?”

“Yisss!”  Patton launched himself out of the recliner with Virgil following slowly behind.  Roman tore his eyes away from the current Hallmark movie with great effort, checking his phone messages.

Aunt Mel was in the kitchen with their little cousin Alec.  Just as they passed through he let up a screech, making them all jump.  Roman’s phone went flying.

“AAAAA DON’T WANNA WASH I’M STILL PLAYING!”

“AH, sweet Jesus,” Roman clutched his chest dramatically as the rest started laughing.

“Alright, keep it together, ya hooligans,” Aunt Mel teased them.  “Alec, I’ve had too much wine today for you to be screaming at the water.  You told me yesterday you love playing with the water-”

Auntie continued to help Alec wash his hands and the cousins tumbled into the dining room where Logan and the grandparents were already gathering.  Logan braced at the incoming chaos.  

“What happened to you?”  He asked them.

“Didn’t you hear Alec screaming?”  Virgil deadpanned.

“Oh,” Logan straightened his glasses.  “Yes, that.”

The rest of the family came up from the basement talking heatedly about the Saints and the Vikings.  Who was winning or losing at that particular moment was unclear, but dinner would proceed regardless. 

00:04:47:19 until Christmas Day, 19:13 PM

“Defuse!”  Remus slammed a card down onto the table.  “Whew, that was close.  I almost exploded in a fiery, kitten-y death!”

“Boom!” Alec cheered.  Nearly the whole family was gathered around the kitchen-table-turned-game-table, even the grandparents and great grandma, Maman.  Aunt Patty and Uncle Mitch were downstairs watching the end of the football game, and Titi was just a few feet away putting a new batch of sugar cookies in the oven.  She shot a good-natured stare at Patton.  

“Sorry, mooom,” “Sorry, Titiii” he and Remus chorused.  “Patton tricked me!”

“Hey!”

“That’s okay, you two can help me decorate these later as punishment.  Remus,” Titi pointed to the person beside him. “Help Maman with her turn, remember?”

“Oh, yeah!”  Remus leaned over the centenarian.  “You got any actions, Maman?”

“Quel est ce dessin?”  She held her cards up to him and pointed.

“That’s a cat dressed as a taco, Maman.  C’est un mème.”

While the game continued around the table, Virgil watched Logan discreetly.  Sitting to his left, something was wrong with his oldest brother.  He wasn’t sure what yet, but it was definitely… something.

“Nope!”  Logan put a card down over Uncle Jim’s attack.  Aunt Mel went next, then she helped Alec with his turn, and then, there it was; Logan’s brow furrowed ever so slightly.  His eyes flitted back and forth between the players and the cards.  He stared at their faces, but not quite at eye level.  Patton’s, Roman’s, Grandma’s turns all passed the same - he was concentrating so hard.  Why?

“Virgil?”  Grandpa nudged him out of his speculation.  “It’s your turn.”

Logan was staring at him expectantly.  

“Oh.”  Virgil glanced at two mismatched cats and drew.  An exploding kitten.  He was dead.  “You’re turn, Lo.”

Logan spent a second longer waiting to see if Virgil was done, and then played his own cards.  As they both watched Remus go next, Virgil leaned in closer.

“What is up with you?”  He whispered.  Logan didn’t take his eyes off Remus’ cards.

“Hey!”  He kept whispering, jabbing Logan in the ribs.

“Ow!”  Logan yelped, then lowering his voice.  “What?”

“I asked you a question, don’t act like you can’t hear me.”  

Logan squinted at him, then his face shifted.  He looked stricken.  

“I’m playing “See The Future”,” someone said.  “Hand me the deck.”

00:04:22:44 until Christmas Day, 19:38 PM

VIRGE: what happened?

A new round had started and Virgil hoped that switching to text would let them continue their argu- debate without distracting the rest of the family.

BIG BRO: Nothing

VIRGE: bullshit

Logan ignored his phone, watching the game progress counter-clockwise this time.  Virgil did not accept this strategy.

VIRGE: !

VIRGE: !

VIRGE: !

VIRGE: !

VIRGE: !

VIRGE: !

BIG BRO: Stop

VIRGE: tell the truth.  

BIG BRO: (Seen)

They paused to take their turns, and when Virgil picked his phone back up, Logan was already typing.  He tried to be patient, but the energy was clear in the way his foot tapped the ground.

BIG BRO: It seems my hearing has not entirely recovered since that explosion during chem lab a couple months ago.  I’ve got tinnitus in my right ear.  It is quite difficult to pick up sounds over the ringing when they’re coming from that direction.  

BIG BRO: Or sometimes from any direction.  So, I’m concentrating a little more.  That’s all.  

Virgil glanced between the texts and Logan several times, Logan staring with seemingly great intent at his cards.  

VIRGE: THATS ALL?

BIG BRO: Calm down, it’s not a big deal.

VIRGE: have you been to a doctor?

Logan stopped to play another “Nope” card.  Virgil was ready to scream at the delay.  The chatter at the table seemed louder to him now and much, much different.

BIG BRO: Yes.  And I’ve done plenty of my own research.  There’s not much to be done unless I want to get surgery or start wearing hearing aids.

VIRGE: so wear hearing aids until you decide about the surgery

BIG BRO: They’re expensive, Virgil.

VIRGE: dads insrance must cover some of it and ive got some extra money

BIG BRO: No.  Thank you.  That money’s yours.  You worked hard for it.  

VIRGE: your e taking it

BIG BRO: That’s not the problem.

VIRGE: then what is.?

BIG BRO: (Seen)

VIRGE: why won’t you make it easier on yourself?  you know none of us will care if you wear one.  the explosion wasn’t even your fault, it was that other kid

Virgil sent the text and looked at Logan, waiting.  Remus was nearly finished with his turn; Logan was next.  The turns passed, but Logan didn’t pick his phone back up from the table.

VIRGE: why

Logan glanced at the text preview when it came up on the screen, still not moving.

VIRGE: i know you can see this

VIRGE: why

VIRGE: why

VIRGE: why

“Because!”  Logan shouted, slapping his cards down.  Everyone fell into a stunned quiet.

“Are you guys cheating?  Mom says cheating is wrong.”  Alec’s voice broke the silence a second later.  Virgil stuck his tongue out at him.

“I assure you we are not cheating,” Logan smiled at Alec.  “Virgil’s just being a pest.”

The game resumed, Patton taking an absurd amount of actions before drawing another Beard Cat card.  Was it even legal to have that many cards?

Virgil leaned back in his chair, tired from the stress.  His phone buzzed.

BIG BRO: This is my last semester.  I’ll get one after graduation.

00:00:41:12 until Christmas Day, 23:19 PM

Roman carried two mugs of coffee into the living room as back-to-back commercials for 24 Hours of A Christmas Story played on the T.V.  He handed one to Virgil and got back under the throw blanket.

“Thanks.”

“Whatcha doing?”  Roman peered at Virgil’s laptop.  There were at least a dozen tabs open.  The current screen showed some kind of fancy earpods.  

“Just killin’ time.”  Virgil opened yet another tab.

“Yeah, it’s a bummer Janus picked a college so far away.  But the train’s due in a few minutes!  Then it’ll be officially Christmas.”  

“I mean, he still has to, like, get here from the station.” 

“Whatever,” shrugged Roman.  He flipped through the channels.  All commercials.  He settled back on the Hallmark channel, laying down and closing his eyes while they waited for the latest must-have-product ads to end.

“Remember when we played dress up together?”  Roman mused.  “Mom taped all those toilet paper rolls together so we could have swords and we all fought over the two paper crowns from Burger King?  Do they still make those?”

“I have no idea,” Virgil laughed.  “That was so long ago, how do you even remember that?”

“Because I was a fabulous ruler!  The kingdom prospered unendingly under my leadership!”  Roman flung his free arm wide, not bothering to open his eyes.  “It was glorious!”

“All you did was declare free love-”

“An important doctrine!”  Roman jabbed at the air once before letting his arm flop back down and graze the carpet.  “All Janus did was universally pardon thieves and liars, was that so much better?”

“Well, I was playing a thief.  Maybe I’m biased.”

“You would…” Roman muttered.  He didn’t finish the thought.

“Roman?”

 A little snort was the only response.  Roman was fast asleep, coffee untouched and the remote resting by his head.

00:00:00:03 until Christmas Day, 23:59 PM

00:00:00:02...

00:00:00:01...

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Virgil was stirring; he snuck like a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

in hopes that his brother soon would be there.

Christmas Day, 01:23 AM

“Wake up!” 

Roman gasped.  Someone was shoving him into the couch cushions.

“He’s here!”  Virgil bounced on his shoulder again, almost knocking the laptop to the ground.  

“Okay!  Jeez, I’m up.  I’m up!”

Virgil was already gone, shoving his boots on while a taxi drove away outside leaving two figures in the darkness with their bags.  By the time Roman was on his feet, Janus was shouldering through the door with a backpack and giant suitcase, a cute boy following just behind. 

“What is up, king?”  Roman and Janus clasped hands and half hugged.  “Who’s this?”

“Oh, you know.”  Janus shrugged off the bag.  “This is my boyfriend.  Nico, this is my cousin, Roman.”

Nico stifled a yawn and waved.  “Pleasure to meet you, Roman!”  Virgil came in setting down two more bags and nudged Janus.

“I thought we all agreed not to bring dates again after what happened last-”

“Oh, sweetheart, you must be exhausted!”  Roman interrupted as he picked up one of the bags.  “I’ll show you where you’re sleeping.”  

“Thank you so much, our stuff took forever to load off the train.”  Nico started to follow him.  

“Hands to yourself, Ro,” Janus hissed after them.  “I like this one.”  

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Roman grinned, disappearing around the corner into the hallway.  Nico hesitated.

“What…?”  

Janus waved him off.  “I’ll tell you later.”  When they were both out of sight, he turned to Virgil.  

“It looks like half the county’s parked in our front yard.  Is dad up?”

“He didn’t stay.”  Virgil shrugged.  “He got into a fight with Titi last night and left after an hour.”

“I see…” Janus sighed, looking down the hall for a moment.  “Can’t break tradition now, can we?”  He smiled up at his little brother.  “Did you get taller?”

Virgil answered by way of a bear-hug, squeezing the breath out of him.

“I missed you, too, Virge.” 

Christmas Day, morning-ish

“Merci, Maman!  Thank you!”  Everyone spoke over each other, unwrapping the sweaters she had made for each of them.  

“Yellow was very, uh, popular this year, no?”  She teased them.  “I hope that you like them.”

“Mine does not have yellow, it’s gold.”  Roman corrected everyone.  Aunt Patty scolded him.  Janus laughed.  

“Don’t complain, Roman, yellow is just the superior color,” said Janus, wrestling his own sweater on.

“Yours is more black than yellow!”  Roman pointed out.  Janus’ head popped up through the collar.

“Did I say yellow?  I meant ‘black’.  Black is the superior color.”

“Black’s not even a color,” Roman called after Janus shimmying away to grab a cookie with Nico in the kitchen.  He came back a second later.

“Why does this cookie look like it’s frosted with vomit?”  Janus held one up, looking affronted.

“Don’t suppress my creativity!”  Remus shouted from under the tree.

Christmas Day, sometime, who cares anymore?

Logan stood in the hallway, reading an email from Virgil, sent at three that morning.  It was lists of hearing aids, their pros and cons, and prices.  And another email from Janus a few minutes ago with links on how to get disability funding.  That would explain Virgil’s note at the end...

I love you.  Please don’t be mad.  I told Janus.

He rubbed a hand over his face and chuckled.  Had he really thought he was going to keep this a secret for even a day around those two?  He pocketed the phone for now and walked through the house.  

There was Patton and Roman watching a girl in a beret talk on youtube.  Roman had a horrified look on his face.  Janus was in the kitchen teaching Alec how to play chess, and not going easy on the kid at all.  Logan peeked downstairs.  There were Virgil and Remus and Nico, playing charades with the aunties.  Remus was making some obscene gesture that had Aunt Mel on the floor laughing and spilling her wine, and Aunt Patty was yelling at both of them.

Logan wandered to the couch and plopped down.  It’s a Wonderful Life, was playing on the television.  Logan hummed along with the closed captioning as the characters celebrated saving George Bailey from false charges.  The vibrations in his chest felt right.

For auld lang syne, my dear

For auld lang syne

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet

For days of auld lang syne

~

The End.

@sanderssidesgiftxchange @kieraelieson

#fan fiction #sanders sides #virgil #logan #janus #roman #patton #remus #holidays #christmas #secret santa 2020 #secret santa #missFay #my writing #writing #sanders sides gift exchange #fluff #hallmark #relatives #alcohol #food #doctor mention #a christmas prince #jenny nicholson #tenavious d #exploding kittens #exploding kittens party pack #caps #pride!logan #envy!remus

[candied-peach]

ao3: “still standing” rating: T warnings: supernatural au, blood, food, cheating implication (but no actual cheating), remus typical stuff, sympathetic deceit, sympathetic remus, dukeceit genre: angst with a happy ending description: Sometimes the best present is each other. And perhaps a Milkbone? (written for @timelesstragedy as part of sanders sides secret santa 2019 ♡) (beta’ed by the amazing TheLittleTrashCat)

It's getting late, Dee frets, shoving his hands in his coat pockets and wandering down the sidewalk, eyes scanning the busy shops for any sign of his boyfriend. Snowflakes lazily spiral down from a slate grey sky, nestling in the soft wool of his yellow hat, knitted by his friend, Patton. It's a little clumsy, but Dee treasures it.

He also treasures the lack of sun right about now. The stories are, in the whole, wrong (he has no issue with garlic, for instance, and the profusion of selfies on his phone shoot down the pernicious idea that he can't see his own reflection), but the sun certainly doesn't do him any favors. He doesn't burst into flames or anything as dramatic as that, but it does weaken him. And a lack of energy does not bode well when it comes to dealing with his boyfriend.

Speaking of Remus, Christmas is fast approaching and Dee still has no idea what to get him. Nothing that springs to mind feels worthy of the greatest gift to ever stumble into Dee's life. He knows that a lot of people are put off by Remus. They find him abrasive, crude, and obnoxious. Gross, even, by his sense of humor and lack of personal boundaries. But Dee knows he's trying, he really is, and what's wrong with a little exuberance and curiosity? No one else in his life has ever dragged him out of bed at three in the morning to go pelt stray students with open packets of barbecue sauce (they almost got caught by campus police and Dee nearly forgot in his panic to run like a normal human would, not putting on a preternatural burst of speed).

His tongue absently swipes across one of his fangs (dismissed as an unusually sharp canine tooth) as he finally catches a glimpse of Remus, talking animatedly to a mall Santa who looks like he's just clocked out for the day. The mall Santa has a dazed look on his face under the fake white beard. A common occurrence for strangers meeting Remus for the first time, Dee thinks in amusement as he sidles their way.

"-and personally, I think frog spawn makes a great gift," Dee hears as he picks his way across a thin scrim of ice. Remus turns his head, catching sight of Dee, and his whole face lights up.

"Dee Dee!" He exclaims, abandoning the mall Santa without a second thought. "There you are!" As if he's not the one who ran off in the first place.

"Here I am," Dee agrees. The wind is cold suddenly, biting into his exposed skin and making the birthmark that covers one half of his face ache. He still doesn't know why it does that. Perhaps it is a side effect of his vampiric status? It certainly never did it before, or perhaps he never paid enough attention. "Are you ready to go?"

"For now," Remus says. "What next?"

"We're meeting up with Virgil, aren't we?" Dee asks, surprised by the cloud that sweeps briefly over Remus's face. "Is something the matter?"

"No," Remus denies. It's a lie, but Dee doesn't want to push it. Remus will tell him when he wants to tell him and until then, he'll clam up, stubborn as any old hard-headed mule.

Virgil waits for them at the smoothie shop- surprisingly still busy, despite the icy weather. He stands out amongst the festive shoppers, clad in purple and black like a gloomy storm cloud. Purple-dyed hair falls over one eye and black eyeshadow swoops beneath both eyes. He smiles when he sees Dee and Remus, standing up from the tiny table he'd ensconced himself.

"Hey," Virgil greets. "Did you get everything you wanted?"

"Not quite," Dee admits, rueful. "It's so hard to buy for this one." He nudges Remus playfully. "I want to buy him the moon and stars, but sadly, they aren't for sale."

"Ask Logan," Virgil jokes. Logan is the neighborhood librarian, and he is more obsessed with astronomy than any person Dee has ever met.

"Buy me a human skull," Remus suggests, his eyes glittering with suppressed laughter. "Ooh, better yet, Dee Dee, just get me a human skull! A fresh one!"

"I'd rather not end up in prison," Dee says, laughing. "But there's a macabre idea. I like it."

"Want a smoothie?" Virgil asks. Dee nods.

"Nah," Remus says, stuffing his hands in his pockets. His shopping bags dangle from his elbows. Virgil wanders up to the counter and Dee takes a seat, sighing as the weight is lifted from his feet.

"Are you still going out with Virgil later?" Remus asks abruptly. Dee nods.

"Present shopping," he lies. In reality, he and Virgil are fang buddies (although he's told Virge more than once never to utter that phrase again), and they need to go and feed.

"Oh," Remus says, his face clearing a little. "Okay."

"Here you go," Virgil says, arriving breathless, his cheeks flushed. He presses a berry smoothie into Dee's hands, sipping on his own mango one. Dee takes a happy sip, offering the straw to his boyfriend. Remus regards it for a moment, then takes a noisy slurp, his cheeks hollowing out.

"Leave some for me," Dee jokes. Remus's eyes sparkle as he swallows his mouthful of ice cold smoothie, before pain creases his forehead.

"Smoothie headache," he says, his voice creaky.

"Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth," Virgil advises. "I think it's supposed to help." Remus looks dubious, but does it anyway. Moments later, relief floods his face. Dee brushes a few strands of his unruly hair out of his face, fingers sliding through the grey streak in front. Remus won't admit if he's dyed it or if it's a stroke of luck that it's all centered in one or two locks of hair (although Dee's money is on Remus dyeing it).

They start the long trek home not long after, Virgil trailing after them. Dee is acutely aware of the other vampire's presence, even as he makes small talk with his boyfriend. He reaches over and snags some of the bags Remus is juggling, purely to grasp the chance to hold Remus's hand. Remus's slow growing smile is a reward in and of itself, and it makes precious warmth bloom in his chest.

"Love you," Dee murmurs, just loud enough for Remus to hear. Red stains Remus's cheeks, climbing up his neck, and Dee smiles in satisfaction.

"You little-" Remus cuts himself off abruptly.

Virgil's phone rings behind them, disturbing the moment.

"Sorry to interfere in your homosexual love affair, guys," Virgil says dryly. "But I gotta take this. It's Patton." He slows further, mumbling into the phone until Dee can't hear him very well.

Patton is a mutual friend who just so happens to be a werewolf. You would never know it, though, looking at his sunny exterior, Dee muses. Slightly chubby, spattered with freckles, and always smiling, he doesn't exactly fit the 'look.' Then again, Dee doesn't really look like a vampire, does he?

Now Virgil, he really looks the part, a brooding emo with purple-dyed hair and a perpetually black wardrobe. People used to jokingly call him a vampire in high school. They never knew how much it hurt him. Maybe it shouldn't have, Virgil told him one night, as they sat on the roof of the school and watched the moon come up. But it did, anyway.

I could hurt them, he remembers Virgil saying, sprawled out over the roof. I could really, really hurt them. Bet they wouldn't make fun of me then.

But you won't, Dee had said, with utter certainty.

No, Virgil had admitted. I won't.

Remus slides an arm around Dee's waist, pulling him free of his reverie.

"Do you have to go so soon?" He whines, licking Dee's ear. Dee scrunches his face.

"Don't do that," he says, laughing. "And I don't have to leave quite yet."

"Good," Remus says smugly, just as Virgil catches back up, stuffing his phone in his pocket.

"Patton wants to join our quest," Virgil says. "If that's okay with you, Dee." What looks like relief passes over Remus's face as Dee nods and he wonders why.

"Fine by me," he says. He knows what Virgil really means. Patton has found a willing blood donor this time.

"Here we are," Dee says, stopping by the walk up to their apartment. "See you in a little while, Virge."

"See you!" He says, giving a short flap of his fingers and continuing on, shoulders hunched.

"I'm going to find you the best Christmas present in the whole world," Dee tells his boyfriend, as they start up the stairs. Remus looks wistfully at him.

"I just need you, Dee Dee," he says. "You know that, right?"

Dee doesn't know what to say to that.

-----

Remus watches his boyfriend continue up the steps, too low to even give his customary salacious wink and wiggle. It's a sign of how preoccupied Dee must be that he doesn't notice. He hopes that it's purely because of what Dee said, he's trying to come up with the perfect Christmas present (Remus himself has long since given up on the idea of perfection). But he can't help but fret there's a more sinister undertone, one that he desperately doesn't want to think about.

It's just your intrusive thoughts, he tries to convince himself, as Dee unlocks their front door and ushers him inside, shopping bags banging against his side. It must be just his intrusive thoughts. Dee wouldn't do something like that, would he? Not with their friend, Virgil.

But he's been friends with Virgil a lot longer than he's been boyfriends with Remus. And they're always hanging out. Dee never outright excludes him, but after a long life in his brother Roman's shadow, Remus knows when he's not wanted.

But Patton will be there, he argues with himself, taking his shopping to put up in the back of the closet, where Dee can't reach without a step stool. He's always been a little persnickety about his short stature, but Remus has to admit it has its uses right about now.

Unless Patton is in on it-

But no. Not even his intrusive thoughts can believe that. The same goes for Logan, the librarian who's so much fun to tease when he gets all prickly. He knows all the cool books about cephalopods, though, so Remus doesn't tease him too much. Besides, if he does, Roman will find out and he's taken great pains to distance himself from his brother.

It's not that he doesn't like Roman. He does. They're twins, after all. But Roman is-

Well, it feels like Roman is everything that Remus is not. Roman is good. Valiant. A prince. Human.

Remus winces as his own thoughts remind him of the monster he transforms into, every full moon. He keeps his human mind when he transforms, but somehow, that's almost worse.

Sometimes he wishes his brother shared it. Other times, he's relieved that Roman, at least, gets to be normal. He knows, of course. It would have been pretty hard growing up otherwise. But it's always been impressed into both twins that it's a family secret. Not even Dee knows, and Remus kind of hates himself for it. Dee isn't hiding some earth-shattering secret like being a werewolf-

No, instead you're just freaking out that he's cheating on you and you don't even have the balls to ask him straight up what's going on. He winces, returning to the living room, where Dee has sprawled out on the sofa, winter coat folded over the arm.

"You all right?" Dee asks, his brows crinkling in concern.

"Never better, Sir Hiss a Lot!" Remus chirps, lying through his teeth. "Just a little tired, that's all." He flops dramatically next to Dee on the couch, hand splayed over his eyes.

"Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well," Dee says, deadpan. "Are you going to take a nap then? When I leave?"

"Yeah, probably," Remus says, letting his arm flop to one side. He turns his face aside, avoiding the truth.

He intends on napping. That much is true. But he also knows that curiosity is burning like a trash fire, deep in his belly, and he can't guarantee that he won't try his hand at a bit of espionage. He used to follow his brother around all the time when they were kids, and Roman never suspected a thing.

"Okay," Dee says, cuddling into his side and basking in his warmth. He feels cold and Remus yanks him closer, wrapping a warm arm around his boyfriend and breathing in the soft scent of Dee's shampoo.

There's nothing going on. He's sure of it, he thinks, relief sagging his shoulders. There is no way that Dee can cuddle him so lovingly and have something going on the side. He knows his boyfriend.

But he thinks maybe he'll follow Dee, anyway. Just for the practice.

-----

"Sleep well, my little cephalopod," Dee murmurs, kissing Remus's forehead. His boyfriend whines, clutching at him, and for a moment, he's tempted to text Virgil and tell him that he can't come after all.

But no, it's been too long since he last fed, and it's hard enough to line up willing donors as it is. He feels like an ass when their only option is a blood bank (as funny as it is to think of a vampire stabbing their teeth into a bag of blood like a Capri Sun), but he refuses to feed from someone who's not willing.

Virgil's waiting outside, his hands shoved in the pockets of his hoodie.

"Remus is gonna take a nap," Dee greets him. "Do you think maybe I should tell him on Christmas?"

"If you want to," Virgil says, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "I don't think that he'd freak out."

"I don't think so, either," Dee says. He bites his lower lip in thought. "I just- What if he doesn't believe me? What if he does and wants to break up with me?"

"What if you're borrowing trouble when there is none?" Virgil counters. Dee laughs shakily.

"All right, good point," he acknowledges. "So, where's Patton and this mystery donor, anyway?"

"The library," Virgil says. "Patton reserved a conference room."

"Only Pat," Dee murmurs, with a laugh. "Afterwards, I still need to buy Remus a Christmas present." He sighs. "I hope Logan and Pat have some ideas, because I am clueless."

"Have you asked his brother?" Virgil asks. Dee looks at him in surprise.

"You know, I still haven't managed to meet him?" Dee says. "Remus always has an excuse."

"I've only met him a couple times when he's hung out with Pat," Virgil says. "But I think he and Remus don't get along very well."

"I wonder why," Dee muses.

"He and Remus are complete opposites," Virgil says. "I prefer Remus, to be honest." A fond smile touches Dee's lips.

"So do I," he says, a dreamy look entering heterochromatic eyes. Virgil snorts, elbowing him.

"Of course you do," he says.

"Dee! Virge!" Patton's exuberant voice spills out of the library doors before the rest of him. He beams at the two of them, hands clasped in front of him. He reminds Dee of a Christmas postcard, dressed in a pastel blue sweater, his familiar cat hoodie tied loosely over his shoulders. It has always amused Dee that a werewolf would be so enamoured with cats (although Patton's deathly allergic and Dee's had to tug him away more than once).

"Back here," Patton says, leading them into the warm confines of the library. Logan nods to them from the reference desk, adjusting his glasses as he bends over his computer. The library is closing soon, but that's all right. Logan and Patton have arranged everything. It's easier for them to do it. Virgil gets so anxious about the thought of arranging his own blood donor that he would rather die of thirst, and Dee's too self-conscious about his birthmark. He still does, of course, but he has to admit that it's easier when Patton volunteers. He likes to arrange for a special tray of Patton's favorite cookies to be sent over afterwards. Patton loves his cookies, especially chocolate chip ones.

"Are they here, Patton?" An unfamiliar voice asks from the dimness of the conference room.

"Yep!" Patton answers cheerily. It's easier when it's dark, Dee thinks as he sidles past the pun-loving werewolf. At least for the initial bite. He doesn't mind seeing afterward, but looking into someone's eyes right before you sink your fangs into them is a little, well-

Uncomfortable, to say the least.

"Don't take too much," Virgil cautions, but Dee already knows the generally unspoken rules. Their new blood donor sits at one of the tables, and Dee can barely see the pale expanse of his neck, bared to him.

"Er, maybe your arm would be better?" Dee suggests, hesitant. "Just so, you know, you don't have two holes in your neck..."

"Oh!" He sounds startled, but soon enough, a wrist is thrust in front of Dee's mouth. "That makes much more sense. I just assumed-"

"A lot of people do," Dee says, trying to hide his amusement. "This will only take a moment."

He sinks his fangs into the delicate skin of the stranger's wrist, just beginning to feed, when suddenly the overhead light flares on, and he looks into the shocked eyes of someone who could only be Remus's twin.

"Remus, I told you, they're busy in the-" He hears Logan's voice stutter to a stop as Dee jerks back from who could only be Roman, eyes wide.

"When I followed you, I thought I had to worry about Virgil, not my own brother," Remus says. He sounds utterly heartbroken, and Dee feels his heart crack that much more, hearing the utter desolation in Remus's voice.

"Remus, it isn't what you think," Virgil tries, but Dee could have told him it's the exact wrong thing to say.

"Really?" Remus snaps. Now he sounds very brittle. "My own boyfriend won't even face me. He's too busy facing my stupid twin." Dee's not facing him because he's too afraid blood is smeared all over his mouth, but how can he say that? As if his boyfriend will believe that he's a vampire now.

"That's what I thought," Remus says heavily. Dee stands there, listening to the plod of his boyfriend's boots, leaving the conference room, and his heart shatters.

"This has gone on long enough," Logan says after several long, tense moments. Dee's eyes burn with the force of his suppressed tears. "Dee, he deserves to know the truth."

"My brother's boyfriend is a vampire," Roman says, staring in wonder at the puncture marks on his wrist. "That's a new one."

"I'm sorry," Dee whispers. It's all his throat will let past.

"No need," Roman says. "Hey-" He thrusts his other wrist at Virgil. "You were gonna feed, too, weren't you?" Virgil jumps, his eyes darting around the room.

"Maybe later," he says. "I uh- this should probably get resolved."

"Agreed," Logan says crisply. "There is no reason to hide the truth of your vampire status from him any longer, Dee."

"But what if he-" Dee starts.

"I think he'll accept it," Roman promises. "I can't say why, but trust me. He will."

Dee heaves a ragged sigh.

"I hope you're right," he says.

-----

A brisk knock on the door interrupts Remus's crying jag. He looks up from the pint of Ben & Jerry's he's dived into, eyes red rimmed and nose running.

"I'm not in the mood to hear it!" He yells at the door. "Why don't you go back to my brother?" Of all the scenes he thought he would walk into at the library, seeing Dee bent so lovingly over his own twin never even came close to the realm of possibility. It still hurts, burning deep inside like a tablespoon of sea salt packed into an open wound.

"Your brother is with us," Logan calls back, his voice measured. "Dee has the key, Remus. We are coming in, whether you like it or not."

"Fine," Remus growls, dropping the spoon into his ice cream and stalking over to the door, jerking it open. Sure enough, everyone is crowded in the hallway. Dee's eyes look just as swollen as his own must be, and Remus feels a vicious splinter of satisfaction at the sight.

"Please let us in," Patton requests, twisting the knotted together sleeves of his cat hoodie. Remus steps back, watching them shuffle past him. Dee won't even meet his eyes.

"What do you want?" He asks sharply.

"You misinterpreted what happened at the library," Logan says.

"I'm not cheating on you," Dee whispers. "I wouldn't- I couldn't, Remus, it would physically destroy me, I love you so much-"

"Then explain your little lovey dovey scene with my brother," Remus hisses. Dee winces.

"It's complicated," he mumbles. "I, um-"

"This will take forever," Logan says, with an exasperated huff of breath. "Dee's a vampire, Remus. So is Virgil. Roman was going to be their blood donor."

"And I'm a werewolf!" Patton pipes up, an uncertain smile spreading across his face.

"What?" Remus asks blankly.

"I'm a vampire," Dee says, glaring at Logan. "Logan's not wrong. Virgil and me- we are best friends, but a lot of the time, when we don't invite you, it's because we need blood, and I, um... I didn't know how you'd react."

"You thought I wouldn't accept you?" Remus asks. Hesitant, Dee shrugs.

"I don't know?" He says. "And that's- well, that's part of the problem, I didn't think you'd take it bad or want to break up or think I was crazy, but I didn't know-"

"Bluebirds on bagels, this is too funny," Remus says, leaning against the wall and wheezing a little. "Roman, you didn't tell them?"

"It's your secret, bro," Roman says. Dee looks at him in confusion.

"It's been a big family secret," Remus says. "And I've been so afraid to tell you, but I'm a werewolf."

"Like me!" Patton squeals, and suddenly, Remus has an armful of Patton, squeezing him round the middle.

"Like you," Remus agrees. He looks up, serious. "I'm sorry, Dee. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that. It wasn't fair- to anyone."

"I should have told you sooner," Dee says, his gaze downcast. "I'm sorry." Remus crosses the room, tugging Dee to him.

"I love you," Remus says, kissing Dee's temples. "So much."

"And I you," Dee murmurs. Remus barely registers the others filing out, shutting the door with a quiet click.

"I guess I'll have to find you a real Christmas present tomorrow," Dee mumbles, as Remus leads him to the sofa, curling up on it and pulling him to Remus's side.

"I told you," Remus says, peering into Dee's mismatched eyes. "The only Christmas present I need is you."

tag list: @k9cat @i-wanna-be-m-e @paravigilant-virgil @croftersgamer @airiervessel @bexxbeauty @did-he-just-hiss-at-me @yalltookmyurlideas @matthindavick @killjoy-3000

#🍬 txt #sanders sides #dukeceit #romantic dukeceit #demus #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic remus #deceit sanders #remus sanders #deceit #remus #virgil #patton #logan #roman #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fanfic #📚 #ok to rb #peach writes #long post tw #janus

[logical-little-lies]

Your Boyfriend’s Cute- Little Vlogs (pt.2)

a/n: I love the fact that this is already receiving support on tumblr and here, and I posted the first chapter like less than twenty four hours ago! it's giving me lots n lots of motivation to brainstorm the plot to this story. just so yk, it's boutta move FAST (aka: lots of timeskips).

chapter summary: Virgil and Roman go to Patton's house for the first time, and Virgil starts to realize why Roman has a crush on Logan. Also, Patton and Virgil film a video for Patton's channel.

--

Virgil exited the Hot Topic with an extremely positive attitude. He had hit send on a list of things he wanted Roman to get for him, and he was ready to meet Patton. The mall was an outdoor mall, so he quickly scanned the 'workers only' parking spots for Logan. He spotted him, in a dark blue t-shirt that read 'Eldenridge Bookshop' with a little book logo on it. Virgil caught himself admiring Logan's body and face from afar, before snapping out of his (slightly gay) daze. He waved, catching his attention. Logan smiled warmly, and Virgil crossed the parking lot.

"Hello Virgil," Logan held his hand out, and Virgil shook it lightly.

"Very professional," he teased, smiling to show that he was just playing. Roman was right. This man was definitely cute. Logan chuckled.

"Yeah, that's what Patton said," Logan opened the door to the passenger seat on his car, motioning for him to get in. Virgil climbed into the vehicle, the door closing behind him.

Logan walked around the back of the car, getting in on the drivers side. "Buckle your seatbelt, honey," Logan instructed, following the directions himself before starting the car. Virgil did as he said without question, willing himself to stop blushing at the casual use of the word 'honey'.

"How far do you live?"  Virgil questioned after a few moments of silence. Logan had pulled out of the parking spot, making his way to the exit of the outdoor mall.

"About ten minutes. Roman wanted to be there when you met Patton, but no doubt, we'll beat him there. Patton's waiting at home,so I'll just record it, yeah?"

Virgil nodded at Logan's words. He had a very caregivery tone, in a stern, but soft way. He could understand why Patton liked him as a caregiver, and why Roman had a crush on him. "Sounds good to me," Virgil smiled.

"So, how was work?" Logan turned onto the main road, tapping his finger against the steering wheel.

"Good, just another day of selling twenty one pilots merch to twelve year old wanna-be emos," Virgil shrugged, causing Logan to laugh lightly.

"I'm guess you used to be one of those emo kids when you were younger?"

"Bitch, I still am. The only difference is that I'm technically an adult."

"Language!" he scolded lightly, speaking in a playful tone.

There was a few beats of silence, Virgil taking the opportunity to look out the window and admire the beautiful weather. "Patton's very excited to see you, he has so many ideas for stuff to do with you."

Logan and Virgil continued on the conversation, distracting Virgil from his excitement for the time being. Suddenly, Logan turned into a neighborhood, and onto a small side street. The two-floored yellow house Virgil saw in many videos was at the end. There were flowers in the front yard. Patton sat on the front porch, and he jumped up when Logan entered the driveway.

"You stay here until I motion you out, I want to make sure I catch this on video," Logan put the car in park, pulling his phone out of his pocket and getting out of the car. Patton awkwardly stood by the door of his house, Logan holding up his phone. Virgil unbuckled, excitedly jumping out of the car when Logan made the motion.

Virgil almost tackled Patton to the ground when he hugged him, jumping into his arms. Right then was when Roman pulled into the driveway behind Logan's car. "I can't believe this, you're actually...here, i-it's crazy."

"I know kiddo, I'm happy to see you too."

Patton held Virgil in a tight hug for at least a minute straight, running his fingers through his hair. Patton was slightly chubby,wearing a very soft light blue sweater. Therefore, he was very cuddleable. Roman and Logan made sure not to interrupt their moment, not speaking until they finally pulled away.

"I'm so happy right now, you have no idea," Virgil smiled, turning and approaching Roman, hugging him.

"Yeah, and this little emo here doesn't get this excited unless he regresses. He tries to keep up his angsty  exterior, but he's really just soft."

Virgil playfully glared at him, pretending to be mad at him for the silly teasing. "Come inside," Patton was quick to open his door, welcoming the couple into his home.

"Like I say whenever we video chat, your house is nice as hell," Virgil admired the home.

"Yep. There's so many rooms that we have a normal bedroom, the little bedroom that you see in most of my videos, and a set of extra rooms. Seriously, this place is perfect," Logan sat down on the couch as Patton spoke. Patton disappeared, going up the stairs.

"Where's he going?" Roman pondered, sitting on the couch near Logan.

"Probably to grab the vlogging camera from the little bedroom," Logan replied as Virgil sat down next to his boyfriend. Virgil could've sworn he caught Logan's eyes lingering on Roman before he spoke again.

"Uh, Roman, how are you?" he stumbled upon his words lightly.

"Good," Roman smiled. Virgil saw Patton stop at the bottom of the steps, holding a small camera.

"Logan, is it okay if me and Virgil hang out upstairs? You guys can do whatever you want down here..find some common interests or something."

Logan gave Patton a look Virgil didn't get the chance to decode, automatically fixing his face when Roman looked at him. "That sounds good to me. I get that you guys have known each other forever, and I understand if you wanna spend some time alone," Roman smiled at Patton softly.

Patton came over, grabbing Virgil's hand and pulling him up. He didn't let go, leading him up the stairs. Neither of them said anything until they were in Patton's little room. "First of all," Patton closed the door behind him, moving to pull his tripod out of the corner of the room, "Your boyfriend is cute as hell. Like I knew that before but seeing him in person just confirmed it."

Virgil laughed, "We're all so gay, I swear to god. Your boyfriend is cute too, at least Roman thinks so."

"Roman's poly right? Logan and I are...kind of why I left Logan down there, he's lowkey been crushing on Roman since forever," Patton motioned Virgil over, patting a spot on the edge of the bed, facing the tripod he had set up. Virgil took his spot, watching Patton attach the camera to the setup.

"Yeah, Roman's polyamorous. And that's funny, because Roman has a crush on Logan too," Virgil revealed. The two of them looked at each other and did a fangirl-ish squeal that only best friends could successfully do in sync.

"So, what are we doing for the channel?" Virgil questioned, motioning towards the camera.

"I figured we could just talk about like, how we became friends and stuff. This how thing feels unreal, and I kinda want a video to look back on so I remember how I felt during all this."

Virgil quickly agreed, and without a word, Patton started the camera.

"Hey Kiddos, welcome to my channel: eat a second cookie! Today, I have my friend with me. I've talked about him on my channel before, but this is the first time I actually have him here in person. Please welcome, Virgil!" Patton spoke in an enthusiastic voice, motioning towards Virgil, who waved awkwardly. There was a beat of silence before Patton nudged him.

"Here's where you plug your tumblr and stuff," Patton instructed, breaking the silence.

"Oh," Virgil laughed at himself, "Uh, follow me at anxiousbabey on everything."

Just like that, the two filmed an unscripted video, talking about the first time they talked, telling quite a few stories. It all lead up to the end of the recording, where they talked about how they met.

"Now that we know we live so close, hopefully he'll be on my channel lots n lots. Right, Virge?"

Virgil giggled, nodding a bit. "I hope so! I'm really glad we realized this, I'm so happy y'all have absolutely no idea!"

"Well, I guess that's all for today kiddos! Bye princes, princesses, and enby royalty, please check out my tumblr and instagram, all under eat-a-second-cookie!" Patton held out the word 'cookie' so that his statement rhymed. He finished closing out the video, turning off the camera.

"Y'know, I've been waiting for the day we'd get to finally film a video together."

There was a second of silence before Virgil engulfed him into a hug. "I feel like my life was good before..and now it's perfect. I'm so glad this happened," Virgil mumbled.

"Let's go check on my nerd and your boyfriend," Patton caused Virgil to laugh, taking his hand softly and leading him down the stairs. Virgil didn't know why this act of affection made him blush, because he knew Patton was just generally affectionate, but his cheeks were definitely burning.

"Hey, Vee," Roman looked up from the laptop him and Logan were watching something on.

"Did you guys film anything?" Logan questioned softly, pressing the spacebar on the laptop and closing it.

"Yeah, just a video about like our friendship," Patton shrugged, taking his spot next to Logan. Logan automatically wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

"That's surely gonna be an adorable video," Logan praised, and Patton smiled lightly. "So, you guys are welcome to stay for dinner, or even spend the night if you want to."

Patton nodded in agreement and excitement with Logan's statement. "Ro!" Virgil tapped his shoulder lightly, tilting his head, "Stay pleasee?"

"Is that your little voice I hear?" Roman teased, causing Virgil to pout lightly, shaking his head.

"Awe! I think it is," Patton cooed, "But, can you guys stay, pleasee?"

"I don't know," Roman sighed, "Virgil has work tomorrow."

"Okay? And I can give him a ride in the morning, seriously, you're welcome to spend the night."

Virgil gave puppy dog eyes, pouting to convince his carer. "Stop with the pouty face, I was gonna say yes anyways," he sighed, causing Virgil and Patton to cheer.

That night was gonna be fun.

A/N: There's gonna be a timeskip, like a one-month type gap, where the four leave the awkward stage and they're all kind of close. I don't wanna write all that out and I WANNA GET TO THE GOOD PART.

Tag list: @stimmingsides @smollilsanderssides @novacloudcat @analogical-agere @fairyhuman2000 @aphandgflover @softastarlight @littlesapphygem @softflowerinmyheart 

please ask/reach out if you wanna be added to the tag list

#ts logan #ts virgil #ts roman #ts patton #The Agere Channel Lamp AU #The Agere Channel AU #CALM #LAMP #Polysanders #ts agere

[stillebesat]

In These Tangled Webs (10/11)

Sanders Sides: Patton, Logan, Roman, Virgil Blurb: It should be easy admitting to your roommates that you’re not entirely human. Only in Logan’s case it’s not. Not when he discovers that Patton is afraid of Spiders. Fic Type: Hurt/Comfort Overall Warnings: Spiders, Arachnophobia, Death Talk, Minor Character Deaths, Slightly Detailed Descriptions of Deaths, Murders, Injuries, Swords, Imprisonment, Biting, Fangs, Venom, Extra Body Parts, Blood, Manipulation, Negative Self Talk

To Catch Up: Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7  Chapter 8  Chapter 9  

“HUNT!” Roman half screeched before he slapped his hand over his mouth, the first to react. 

“I picked him out specially for you, my spiderling.”

Patton swallowed as he fought to keep his hands relaxed in Logan’s, desperately hoping that he couldn’t hear how his heart rate had sped up.

Hunting.

Hunting.

Hunting.

Despite already knowing about Lo’s connection to the...the Rouge Widow as Virgil had named her…hearing him confirm it...in that particular way was--was---

YOU WERE PREY. You could have DIED.

Keep you safe. 

Prey. 

“Hush. Hush. You won’t need your momma for much longer, dear one.” 

He had been prey, only surviving because Lo had decided to let him go, had decided to help him instead of killing him like his--his mother wanted him to. 

Virgil barely appeared to be breathing as he stood stock still, staring at Lo. “The Rouge Widow---is your mom?” He asked, voice deliberately quiet. 

The blood stained woman stalked through swings, searching for him. “You can’t hide from me forever child.”

Logan hunched his shoulders, his fangs vanishing from view as he nodded. “Yes.” 

“But---” Virgil ran both his hands through his hair. “That doesn’t--HOW?!” He shook his head moving to pace in a circle around them, tugging at the strings of his hoodie. “There were no signs at all--there weren’t even rumors that she had a kid! And you’re telling me---She’s been killing people for years, decades! And not once, NOT ONCE did anyone let slip she had a kid in tow. How--”

“She kept me hidden...separate from her--” Logan dropped his voice. “--killing sprees. And if anyone found me--They died. She’s very selective on who she trusts and when it came to me...barely a handful of people know of our connection and still live.” 

Patton swallowed. Did that handful of people now include the three of them? How hard must it have been on Logan? To never have anyone stick around. To only have his mother for company. No friends---how---Patton bit his lip. ”That sounds so lonely, Lo.” No wonder he’d been so withdrawn when they’d first met. If everyone who came in contact with him died...why would he try to get to know anyone?  

Logan shrugged, looking away. “I didn’t know better.” 

“Geez and I thought my childhood was bad.” Roman said, running a hand through his rain soaked hair. “But to grow up with---with--” 

“The worst murderous Human Black Widow on record to ever walk the planet?” Virgil supplied, fiddling with his sleeves as he too studied their friend.

“That’s one way to refer to her.” Logan mumbled, fidgeting under their combined stares. 

Roman clicked his tongue. “Yah, that---” He spread his arms wide. “That sucks, big time, Spock. How in the world are you not more messed up having her as a Mom?”  

“More...messed up?” Lo repeated, raising his eyebrows, rubbing his hand against his chest. “She’s probably killed more people than half the state of Wyoming and you wonder why I’m not more messed up?” 

“Well now I’m wondering how you’ve passed as more normal.” Virgil muttered as Roman blanched.

“Right? I mean…She was teaching you to--to hunt humans, Lomageddon! That’s not a normal Mommy thing to do-- Wait!” Ro pointed between the two of them. "Pat's still alive! Did you ever pass that particular gruesome lesson with someone else or--”

I’ll feast on the newcomers. No worries, Logan. Momma will eat too.” She said, two of her hands guiding the boy’s fangs to Patton’s exposed neck as faint voices and stomping sounded overhead. “Hurry now.” She encouraged, withdrawing. “It’s fast food today.”

Pwotect you.

A gentle tug and Logan stepped back, a wad of webbing held in his hands. “See. Safe. Hod still.” His little fingers easily tore away the remaining webs from Patton, freeing him in seconds. “No eat. No die. All safe. K?” 

Patton drew in a steadying breath and took a deliberate step closer, squeezing Lo’s hands as he did so. 

Trust Me.

I’m NOT scared. Not of you. 

“What does it matter?" Patton asked, half turning to the others. “He saved my life. Lo isn’t going to hurt us.” 

With how skittish Logan had been about telling them what he was, he hardly was acting like the suave charismatic Widow they’d been taught to look out for.

“But that doesn’t answer the question.” Virgil said gesturing to Logan as he continued circling them. “Sure a three year old may not kill the first time he’s given the chance, but you grew up with her, L. You were there. Indoctrinated in her ways! How many---how---are you---” He made a face. 

Logan slowly raised his eyes to meet Virge’s. “A Killer? Or was Murderer the word you were looking for?” 

A chill went down Patton’s spine as Roman took two steps back, eyes wide. 

Logan? A killer? No. NO WAY. NO. 

Virgil stopped, setting his jaw as he looked Logan squarely in the eyes. “Yes. How far did your apple fall from her tree?” 

Little Logan frowned up at the ring as it flashed light blue. “Not s’posed to glow no--” He paled, pitch black eyes going wide. “RUN!” He yelled, frantically shoving Patton outside and slamming the door in his face. “RUN! HOOMAN RUN! “RUAAAAAAAHH---” The scream cut off abruptly, followed by a sickening thud against the door. 

Keep you safe. 

No. Patton pressed his lips together, slightly shaking his head. Logan was good. He was nothing like his mom. He had to believe that otherwise wouldn’t the three of them be dead by now? They’d been living together for the past six months and Widows--

Widows kill within four. 

The pendant didn’t glow around Lo unless he was holding it. He wasn’t a threat. 

Right? 

Logan exhaled, his eyes growing dark behind his glasses as he pulled his hand free, crossing it over his chest. “You might as well be talking apples and oranges. She tried to make me just like her. But we’re…” He rubbed his chest, looking away. “Different.” 

Patton tilted his head, watching Logan’s hand over where the Widow mark hid. 

She pressed him close to the upside down red triangle on her chest. There, there.” She soothed. 

Red. Logan’s Mom’s mark had been plain red. But Logan’s was--

Black and Red. 

Patton narrowed his eyes, before quickly smoothing his expression before Lo could notice. That coloration wasn’t normal either. Widows only had red hourglasses like their spider counterparts. Was that the ‘difference’ Logan spoke of? Why was his mark--

“Tried?” Roman repeated.

Lo nodded, looking up. “I’m not a killer, Virgil.” He shifted his gaze to meet Roman’s worried eyes. “Roman.” He half turned to Patton. “Patton. Believe me, I’ve never taken a life--killed” He exhaled, shoulders slumping as stared at his feet. “But I did drink plenty of human blood and tissue. Just not---not recently...years really--since I uh--” He gave a half shrug. “Left.” 

“Left?” Patton whispered. But Logan was so young! He was Baby compared to the rest of them and he had said he hadn’t drunk---drunk... blood in years. Which if he only had it while he’d been with his Mom...when had he left her? Did it have something to do with their marks? Or just his refusal to--to kill? 

“So you’re not secretly sneaking out to get a fix?” Roman asked. “Stealing from blood banks? Preying on students studying late at night at the Library?

Logan’s mouth twitched, his fingers going white on his jacket. “No.” 

Virgil threw his hands up in the air, pacing again. “You don’t--You’re---L. I thought--we’ve all been taught that widows have to eat human flesh or blood to live and you’re telling me--”

“I no mamma. Bad tase you. ALL bad. BLEH.”

Logan was no monster. He wasn’t Mom. “He doesn’t because...well because humans don’t taste good to you...right, Lo?” Patton asked, glancing to him uncertainly.

A lot of things could have changed since first grade.  

Logan wrinkled his nose, making the exact same face he had made as a child. “Crofters No! It’s horrible. Like being forced to drink bitter moldy yogurt mixed with motor oil.” 

“OH EW!” Roman shuddered, waving his hands in front of his face as if to ward off a Dragon Witch. “Ew. Ew. EW! SPECS! I like yogurt. Don’t go putting that image in my head!” 

“I think you’re too late to save your tender taste buds, Princey.” Virgil remarked, scuffing the wet pavement with his shoe, attention still on Lo. “Strawberry yogurt will never taste the same.” 

“Stoooop!” Roman covered his ears, ducking his head. “I caaaaan’t heeeeear yooouuuu! Lalalala.”

A soft laugh left Logan’s lips, sounding like music to Patton’s ears as he lowered his hands, spreading them apologetically. “Sorry.” 

Patton relaxed at that laugh. Almost he could pretend that it was a normal conversation between them all. Almost.

Virgil huffed, rolling his eyes, even though a small smile played on his lips as well. “So we won’t be finding bags of blood anywhere? No severed heads or pickled entrails?” 

Lo smirked, amber eyes glimmering in the faint light. “I thought the Master of Halloween would already have all that in his room?” 

Roman snorted, pulling his hands away from his ears. “He got you there, Dr. Gloom. Out of all of us here...you are the one most into that sort of stuff, we’ve seen Sherlock’s room before remember? He’s hardly got anything morbid in there.” 

“You do know that Sherlock had--” 

“Ah ba da da! NO!” Roman quickly covered Virgil’s mouth. “I’m well aware how the character Sherlock lived, don’t ruin my moment!” 

“Either way.” Logan shifted on his feet, brushing the hourglass on his chest. “Now that you--know...I--I understand if you don’t want me to---to you know---” He gestured to the van, taking a step back away from it. “Come back to the apartment--” 

“Well, of course we don’t want you to come back ther--OW!” Roman jerked his hand away from Virgil’s mouth. “HEY!”

Logan recoiled, taking another step back, looking like a puppy that had just been kicked.

Virge spat onto the road. “That’s what you get for sticking your hand and mouth where they don’t belong, Princey” 

“I was just!” 

Patton grabbed Logan’s hand before he could take off, pulling him back to the van. He knew what Ro had been trying to say, but he really could have said it just a tiny bit better. “The place is still spider-proofed, Lo.” He said gently.

Logan couldn’t return home until they figured out how to unproof Patton’s spider proofing so that he would be safe. 

“Exactly.” Virgil said, pulling out his keys. “Until we get it---liveable again for you, L, there’s no way we’re letting you back in.” 

Logan stared at them, mouth dropping open. “You still want...to live with me?” He asked, slowly.

Roman rubbed the back of his hand, glaring at Virgil. “We did say we’re not going anywhere did we not?” 

“And you said you don’t drink blood, and aren’t a murderer soo---I don’t see why you can’t stay.” Virgil shrugged. “Besides, who’s going to help me with my Chemistry if you go?”

Roman snorted. “You mean badger with endless questions about being Spliced?” 

Virge stuck his tongue out. “Yes, that too. Whatever. Still doesn’t change that we still want you with us.”

“It’s just…” Logan looked between the three of them, squeezing Patton’s hand. “Hard to believe that you’re all taking this so well.”

So well? Logan had run away from them upon his first accidental revealing because they’d taken it ‘so well’. Patton could only hope that they--he could make it up to him. Revealing yourself as Spliced had to be a hard enough thing to do in the first place, and Lo had been forced to do so before he was ready. 

Thanks to me. 

Roman huffed, eyes going soft. “We’re not going to form a Gastonian Mob and come for your head, Lo. Despite how it looked with the swords…” He spread his hands. “I am on your side. We’re all on your side.” 

“Through thick and thin, webs and fangs, stupid finals and late night celebration parties.” Virgil said with a two fingered salute. Logan licked his lips, eyes holding a careful flickering hope. “But I’m...I’m Spliced. A Widow, and you’re all okay with that? Seriously? Knowing that--that my Mom--” 

“Isn’t you, Lo.” Patton interrupted firmly. The pendant proved that. 

Keep you safe. Pwomise. 

“You aren’t your family, so I’m told.” Roman agreed, clapping Lo on the shoulder with a grin that didn’t quite meet his eyes. 

“And I mean...if you don’t mind us--”

“You mean you.” Roman interjected.

“Mind all of us.” Virgil shot him a look. “We can be your family.” He said, sharing a smile with Patton as he joined their little circle in the rain. 

Patton nodded with his own smile. There was no question there. “We promise. We’re not going anywhere.” Lo would be able to rely on them, trust them, be himself around them.

Logan drew in a slow breath, studying them each in turn before he gave a jerk of a nod, briefly touching Roman’s hand before moving to Virgil’s. “I would like that…a lot actually.” 

“Oh good!” Ro said, giving a huge exaggerated sigh of relief as he pulled away. “Now can we get in the van and to that hotel? I would like to get dry at some point.” He jerked his head to the car. “Pleeease, my hair is already looking as sad and dingy as Doom and Gloom over there.” 

“Oh please.” Virgil rolled his eyes. “With how much gel you put on your head, I doubt a geyser could flatten it...but I am with Sir Sparkles here. Getting dry sounds good to me too.” 

“Same.” Patton agreed fervently, taking initiative and ducking into the backseat of the van. The sooner he got out of these clothes and tossed them in the trash, the better. 

Logan huffed a laugh and nodded, hesitating only half a second before he too followed Patton into the back. “I’m not the one with the keys Virge. That’s all on you.” He said, pulling the door shut with a quick glance to Patton for reassurance as he settled in next to him

“Yah yah...I’m on it! Hold onto your fangs.” Virgil called darting around to the driver’s side.  

Roman half turned in his seat, making a show of feeling his teeth with his tongue. “Don’t have fangs to hold onto, Emo Nightmare, but I will cover your favorite hoodie in purple glitter if you don’t start this rust bucket soon.”

“Don’t you dare! I worked hard on that!” “Then get-a-drivin!” 

Lo shook a head, a small smile on his face as he relaxed back against the seat. “It’s like nothing’s changed.” He mumbled to Patton as the van chugged into life. 

Keep you safe. 

Patton leaned into him, resting his head on Logan’s shoulder. “Because nothing really has, Lo.” He said softly, winding their fingers together as Virgil pulled out of the lot. “You’re still you, and that’s all that matters.”

To Be Continued Epilogue

Taglist in Reblog

#In These Tangled Webs #stillebesat #Sanders Sides #Patton #Logan #Morality #Logic #Roman #Virgil #Creativity #Anxiety #spiders tw #arachnophobia tw #death talk tw #deaths tw #murders tw #injuries tw #swords tw #imprisonment tw #biting tw #fangs tw #venom tw #extra body parts tw #blood tw #manipulation tw #negative self talk tw

[skeletaldarling]

Chase The Fire Away Chapter 2

Stress Eating

AO3

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7 

Chapter 8

Summary: Some Sleepxiety softness followed by Patton with his new best friend... 

Ship: Sleepxiety, Lomile 

Word Count: 1512 

Warnings: Blood, blood drinking, vampires and witches, dark sides, Remus Sanders, swearing 

“REMY!” Virgil tore through the fridge, knocking things to the floor and growling as he grew more and more anxious. 

Remy bounded down the stairs. “Babe?”

“Where’s the emergency blood?”

“Downstairs fridge.” Remy frowned. “It’s always there. Oh. Unless we haven’t restocked?”

Virgil hissed and sunk to his knees on the kitchen floor. He shook his head in his hands and curled even tighter around himself. “Shit shit shit!” 

Remy itched to go over and pull Virgil into a hug, wrap him up in his arms and tell him everything would be okay. But the witch knew that wouldn’t go down well. He stepped to the opposite side of the kitchen. “Hun, do you want a drink?” he asked softly. 

Virgil shook his head. “No I can’t! I fed from you like three times yesterday! I can’t take more from you- and I won’t be able to stop!”

Remy shushed him gently. “Hey hey. It’s okay, V. I’m sure Logan has some blood for you, okay?” 

Virgil took a few deep breaths and rocked back and forth on his knees. “Logan has blood…”

“Yeah, he does. He always does. Do you want to drive there now?”

Virgil got to his feet before whimpering. “Patton could be there…” 

Remy cursed and fished his phone from his pocket. “You’re right. Okay. Okay, I’m going to let Logan know what’s happening, and he can make sure Patton’s out of the house and Emile knows how to keep his distance. You’re fine, hun. It’s okay, remember?”

Virgil whined with a nod and banged his head against the fridge. His throat was burning. His head was pounding. He desperately wished he could have blood. Just keep breathing. 

Remy would taste so good. His scent was just so painstakingly appetizing and Virgil craved to sink his teeth into his neck and finally drink. 

You can’t. You’ll never be able to stop now. You’re too hungry. 

Virgil clenched and unclenched his fists, watching his knuckles move to distract himself from his aching body. 

“Baby?”

Virgil didn’t move. 

“Virge, hun c’mon, we need to go to Logan’s now. He’ll get the bags ready while we get there.” Remy stood by the door and opened it. 

Virgil held his breath as he walked past his fiance, hurrying to the car and curling up in the back seat furthest from the driver’s side. 

Remy drove stupidly fast to get them there and ushered Virgil through the door as quickly as he could. “Lo?” He called. 

Logan was by their side in an instant, taking Virgil’s arm and together they disappeared through the house to the shed outside where Logan stored his emergency blood fridge. 

Emile came down the stairs as soon as they were gone. “Hi, Remy.”

“Hey, cutie.” Remy pushed his sunglasses up to his head and followed his friend to their kitchen. “Thanks for letting us pop over like this.”

Emile waved him off. “Don’t be ridiculous! You’d do the same for us.”

“Well, us vampire babes gotta stick together, huh?”

Emile giggled and pulled a couple mugs down from the shelf. “You want some coffee?”

“Ooh, yes please!” 

“So where’s Patton?” asked Remy. 

Emile wrinkled his nose and he turned to look at the witch with a slight pout. “He’s at a friend’s house.” 

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“He was so nervous!” Emile whined. “I’m just so worried for him. This is his first and only friend since moving here and I’m so scared that they won’t be good enough for him.” 

“Oh, Em!” Remy laughed. “He’s such a good kid. He’ll have no trouble making and keeping friends.”

Emile chewed on his bottom lip. “I suppose… I just feel like sometimes no one deserves a kid as sweet as Patton.” 

“They don’t.” Remy assured him. “But I’m sure he’ll find someone who comes close.” 

“Hey.”

They looked behind them to see Virgil and Logan coming in through the backdoor. Virgil was clutching another bag of thick, dark, liquid. 

Emile set a cup in front of Remy. “Feel better, Virge?” 

“Yeah. Much.” Virgil sat down next to Remy. “Sorry for being a handful.” 

“Oh goodness no!” Emile smiled. “You’re always welcome here!”

“Guess I’m just lucky that Patton’s not here, huh?”

Emile deflated. “We really need to explain this all to him…”

“Soon,” said Logan. He put a hand on Emile’s hip and kissed his temple. “Soon, love.”

Virgil sucked on the opening of the plastic blood bag. “Thanks though. For the blood, I mean.”

“You need it more than me.” Logan reasoned. “I still have some emergency stock left and I can get more soon.” 

“Why’d you need it so bad anyway?” Emile asked. “Oh you don’t have to tell me! I’m just being nosy, sorry.”

Virgil shrugged. “Just been hungrier lately, I think. Fed from Rem too recently to feed again.” He took another sip, relaxing as he kneaded the bag with his fingers. 

“I think all that wedding planning is getting to you.” Logan decided. 

Virgil sighed. “God, probably. I’m definitely stressed about the wedding.” 

“Hey,” Remy squeezed his hand. “We’re on top of everything. It’s all going just fine, boo.” 

Virgil squirmed. “I guess… I just, what if it’s not? We’re spending every moment we have planning and making calls and decisions and what if they’re all wrong? Or if we plan the most perfect, amazing wedding ever, and then one thing goes wrong and boom! Everything’s ruined.”

“Oh, honey.” Remy chuckled gently and rubbed Virgil’s shoulder as he stood to wrap him up in his arms. 

Virgil breathed deeply, letting Remy’s familiar smell of coffee and smoke envelope them in their own safe little bubble. Virgil closed his eyes and listened to his fiance speak. Remy was so busy gently murmuring to him that he didn’t notice Emile taking Logan’s hand and leading them into the back garden, giving the couple some space. 

“I know it’s tricky, baby. I know it’s getting stressful, and it probably won’t get easier for a little while but there’s two of us.” Remy stroked Virgil’s hair as he spoke. “And we can do this together, ‘kay? Between you and me, we can make this wedding our bitch.”

Virgil giggled and gently bumped Remy’s chin with his head. “Thank you.” he mumbled, smiling against his fiance’s bare collarbone. 

Remy kissed Virgil’s hair. “If stress drinking blood is gonna make all this easier on you then we can get some more from the blood bank. I’ll make Logan get it for you. We can help you cope.”

Virgil took in one last deep breath before pulling back and giving Remy a quick peck on the lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

+++

Patton giggled from his perch on the top of Remus’s monkey bars. Apparently he’s had them since he was three, and now, eleven years later, Remus was tall enough to bonk the bar with his head while standing firmly on the ground. 

Remus was now standing on his hands, his feet hooked around the bars. “Shake them!” he demanded with a grin. 

Patton laughed again and wriggled, making the bars shudder dangerously. Remus cackled and lifted his hands off the ground to grab the bar, he shimmied until he was securely hooked onto the bar by his knees before swinging back and forth and laughing. 

Patton hopped off the bars and lay down on the grass, looking up at Remus and smiling brightly. Remus poked his tongue out with a teasing grin and poked Patton’s nose. “You’re short.”

Patton scrunched his nose up with another small giggle. Remus rocked back and forth, the feet on the children’s monkey bars starting to lift off the grass slightly. He reached out to grab Patton as he swung forwards again. “I’m gonna get you!” 

Patton shrieked and threw himself forward, away from the bars. Remus yelped as a rush on air slammed into the bars, sending them toppling backwards, they fell to the ground with a huge clatter. 

Patton swore. “Remus!”

Remy sat up suddenly, his eyes shot open. “That. Was. Awesome!”

Patton let out a breath and hurried over. “Are you okay?”

Remus bounced up again. “That was so cool, dude! It fell over, like, so fast and then boom! I was on the ground!” 

Patton listened to him ramble until his phone buzzed his back pocket. He glanced at his lockscreen and saw messages from Emile. 

Dad: We’re going to order pizza for dinner but if you don’t come home soon I guess we’re gonna have to eat it all! 

Dad: Remy and Virgil are over too so let us know when you’re leaving and we’ll order it. Xoxo

Patton sighed and Remus deflated. “You have to go?” he guessed. 

“Yeah. My dads want me home for dinner.” 

Remus shrugged. “Okay. I’ll walk you home! I have nothing better to do.”

Patton grinned and they walked around the block to Patton’s house. He turned to Remus. “I’ll text you later.”

“You better.” 

“Goodbye, Remus.”

“See ya, Pat!” Remus waved before he raced off, cartwheeling down the street.

Taglist:

@sander-sideblog

#blood #blood drinking #dark sides #remus sanders #patton sanders #emile picani #logan sanders #remy sanders #thomas sanders sleep #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #sander sides #lomile #sleepxiety #highschool au #witch au #vampire au #vampires #chase the fire away #ctfa #rj fic

[gt-fluffy-vore]

Heartache Part Two

SandersSides The Littles AU

2848 words

Logan shot to his feet and rushed to the door, swinging it open. A sad smile managed to invade his features. “Roman.” He sighed. “I’m glad you made the trip safely. Come in, come in, I’m sure you could do with a quick moment before we unload your belongings. Have you had anything to eat? Would you like a mug of coffee?”

He sighed. “Uh, yeah, coffee. Coffee sounds great… I haven’t slept much. Oh, is it alright if Willie comes in for a bit?”

“Yes, yes, of course, just for today it’s fine… Um, the kitchen is just through here…”

He followed him to the kitchen, trailed by his black and grey collie, where he was handed a mug of hot coffee. Logan opened the fridge for him and offered him creamer, but he denied it. “I apologize for the temperature. I kept the pot on warm, but I expected your arrival earlier, so…”

“No, no, it’s fine. It’s great.” Suddenly, Willie rushed up to Logan and had to be called back over to Roman’s side — while Logan wasn’t at all against pets, he had never actually had one before, and thus was a little uncomfortable with his brother’s collie. “Hey, Lo?”

“Yes?”

“Just, thank you. Really, for lettin’ me come stay with you.”

“Of course. You’re my brother, it was all I could do to offer.”

“Yeah, I know. Just, still. Thanks.”

“Well… you’re very welcome, then. It will be good for the both of us to have company while…”

“Yeah…”

Logan cleared his throat to break the awkward silence. “Well, shall I give you a tour, then, before we unload anything?”

“Oh, yeah, that’d be great. Oh, by the way, what happened to that property just down the road of here?”

“That house caught fire five days ago.”

“Dang, that’s like… that just happened. Do they know what caused it?”

He shook his head. “According to their evidence, there was no cause. Unless the cause was an object that was charred beyond recognition during the event.”

“That’s insane… Did everyone make it out okay?”

“Thankfully, yes, there were no fatalities…”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took two days for the humans to finally stop coming. They had come in groups wearing odd suits to sift through the piles of charred wreckage. For what, the two littles didn’t want to imagine. Although, logically, they were probably trying to find what started the fire in the first place. But the cousins didn’t care why they were there, they were just terrified to the bone that they were. But they never voiced their true concerns to each other, because neither was sure if they would be able to say out loud what they were thinking — what if the humans found their bodies? They didn’t need to say it, though, they both knew they were thinking the same thing. But they waited anyway with bated breath, watching intently as the humans dug and dug through what used to be a building, what used to be the house that contained their own home, knowing that every second they stayed and watched and waited they were putting their entire species at risk. But they had to know. They had to see for themselves that there was nothing left.  That there was no one left. If someone else had been outside when the fire started, they would have come back here. They had to be sure. So, they both waited. On the second day, Virgil took watch of the human’s actions alone. It had been just over a day at that point since they had eaten last and they were both nauseated with hunger, but his cousin had an extremely delicate stomach and spent the majority of the day hiding in the shack throwing up. But on the third day, not a single human arrived. They stayed back and watched the entire day until finally it got dark and they fell asleep that night just a tiny bit hopeful. In the morning the humans, once again, did not show up, so they set out for the ruined building. When they got there they decided to split up so they could cover more ground. Patton took the job of searching through what remained of the building, leaving Virgil to search the areas around the rubble in case anyone survived and was hiding out like they had been. Humans were fairly adept at finding things they weren’t supposed to, so Patton hadn’t expected to find anything, but he couldn’t help but be disappointed when he had to return to the shack empty-handed. When he got back, he called out for his cousin but got no response. He must not be back yet. They had agreed to meet back at the shack when it got dark… Maybe he was still on his way. So Patton sat down and waited for him, and waited for him, and finally gave up and decided to go out to look for him. When he finally found him nearly an hour later, he had to put a hand over his mouth to keep himself from bursting into a whole new kind of sobbing. His cousin was asleep, curled up around the end of a fallen reed beside the lake. He had a chunk of metal squeezed between his body and the reed. How had something so specific survived? The metal was the broken tip of a nail that was about the length of their forearm. Virgil had had it as long as he could remember, and here it was still, somehow still here after such a devastation. He’d always called it his stress totem. It was a comfort object he always kept with him when he slept, so he could fall asleep within the walls. Patton couldn’t hold it in any longer. He collapsed to his knees at his cousin’s side and burst into sobs. After a while a dry voice interrupted him. “Pat?”

He looked up. “Hey, Virge. How’d you find that?”

“It must have fallen right outta the rubble — it was just sitting here.” 

They were both silent for a long time. “I… didn’t find anything…”

“Neither did I… No one is… No one else…” 

Survived.

“Yeah… Virge, I… We have to leave…”

“I know… We have to eat…”

But why? Why shouldn’t we just starve to death? Without them… what’s the point of living?

“But before we do… can we say goodbye?”

Patton nodded. “Yeah. We can do that. Do you wanna go up to the… the house?”

He shook his head and slowly stood up, stress totem in his hands. “I wanna bury it. Here, at the lake.”

“But that’s your totem! You don’t wanna take it with?”

He shook his head again. “It’s…” He let out a few sobs. “It feels too much like home.”

“Okay… Okay, let’s do that then. Right here?” He gestured to the ground in front of him.

“Yeah.” So they both got on their knees and started digging. They shouldn’t be burying a piece of metal right now, no matter how significant. They shouldn’t be burying a thing in place of their family. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. When they were finished, Patton let his head hit the small mound, sobs tearing from his throat relentlessly. 

“It’s not fair! Why couldn’t I find them?! Why weren’t they…” He broke off and for a moment he let himself sob. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I tried. I tried to find you, I tried! I’m sorry, Mamma! And - and Dad, and… and Aunt Ness, and Uncle Mark, and Grandma, and-” He beat both fists on the mound on either side of his head. “I’m so sorry…”

Virgil let himself bend double, tucking his head against his knees and gripping the end of his tail. Everything hurt. Everything hurt so bad. He dug one hand into his chest, tearing a hole in the fabric. It ached. He felt like his whole body was trying to implode, like if he let it his body would crush itself in an attempt to numb the pain. His throat throbbed and he pushed out every sob as hard as he could, howling with each one, but it wasn’t enough. It still hurt.

They stayed there until they fell asleep, and then they set out first thing the next morning. Day five. Virgil woke up to his cousin shaking his shoulders. “Virge? You awake?”

He groaned. “What?”

“We need to get going. One of us is gonna get sick if we don’t eat something soon. Come on, if we get moving right away we can get to the other house before it gets dark.”

He groaned tearfully. “I don’t wanna leave.” He pressed his face into the makeshift grave. “I don’t wanna go to another house. Why can’t we just stay here?”

“Because there’s no way to get food here. We’ll starve if we stay here.”

“So?”

Patton sighed and pulled his cousin into a hug. “I know… But they wouldn’t want that, Virge. You know they wouldn’t…”

“I know, I just…” He squeezed Patton back as tight as he could. “How can we just… keep living?”

“I don’t know yet… But we’ll figure that out together, alright? I know it doesn’t feel like you have anything left to live for, but you do. You have me. You gotta keep fighting for me, alright? Even if you don’t care about yourself, I do. And I need you to get through this. I can’t do this alone…” When Virgil seemed about to argue a point, Patton continued. “Virge, I can’t do this without you. So if you can’t… keep going, then fine. But you’ll be taking me down with you.”

Virgil’s shoulders dropped. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I wasn’t - I just...”

“Hey, it’s alright, I get it. It’s alright. It’s alright, it’s gonna be okay. Alright? It’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna make it through this. But only if we do it together.” Virgil nodded against his shoulder. “Okay. Let’s get a drink before we go. We don’t know how long it’ll be until we get to drink something again.” They broke apart and knelt down beside the lake. Five minutes later, they were off, walking side-by-side, with nothing but each other and the clothes on their backs.

They arrived that evening, only to find the front of the building littered with huge plastic bins and furniture. That was weird. Based on the stories their parents used to overhear from the humans, this house was completely uneventful. They jumped behind a bin and peeked around the corner as the front door of the house opened and out came the residents. Immediately they felt their hearts hit their ankles. Not only was their only supposed to be one human living here, and there were now two, but worse yet there was a dog. There was a dog. A really big dog. A really big dog that was coming this way. Virgil turned and stared Patton dead in the eyes, then counted down with his fingers. Three… Two… One! They made a bolt for the corner of the house. They just had to get far enough away that they couldn’t be smelled. They didn’t stop running until they were around the entire opposite side of the house, where they slowed to a stop, panting. “Do you think we lost it?”

“Yeah, I think so… When did this place get a dog?!”

“I don’t know. Pat, are you sure this place is our only option?”

“There’s nowhere else around for miles, Virge, you know we can’t get that far… It has to be here. We have to find a way inside.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Willie! Willie, get back here!” Roman groaned and clicked a quick tune, making his dog stop and turn back to look at him. “Yeah, you! Get back here!” Willie whined and looked behind him as the miniature creatures escaped around the house. “No! I don’t care what you found, get back over here where I can watch you!” Slowly, Willie trudged back over. “Jeez, he never chases stuff like that…”

“He’s probably stressed.”

“Stressed? Why? He loves car rides.”

“Most dog’s moods are heavily impacted by those of their owners.”

“So he’s stressed out because he can tell I am, huh? That’s kinda sweet.”

“Dogs are extremely impressionable, so he simply picked up on your mood. Are we moving the dresser next?”

“Uh, sure.”

It didn’t take them very long to move all of his belongings to his new bedroom. Once they were done, they moved in the few boxes of things they had kept of their mother’s and their mother’s china hutch and left them in the living room. “It’s getting late. Should we stop for dinner before rearranging anything?”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

They both went to the kitchen, followed by Willie. “Any requests?”

“I really don’t care.”

“Is simple alright for tonight?”

“Oh, yeah, I’ll eat whatever. You know you can do whatever when it’s just me.”

“Right…”

“Actually, why don’t I just make us something? And you can go sit for a minute.”

“I’m at least going to help you. Whether or not you’re my brother doesn’t change the fact that you are still my guest.”

“Fine. You wanna get out stuff for grilled cheese then?”

They got everything out and in a few minutes, they were sitting down to dinner. “Hey, Lo? I know I said it earlier, but just… thanks again, for letting me stay. I know I should have moved out forever ago…”

“Roman, I know that I can sometimes be overbearing in my opinions, but you are only nineteen. However positive it would affect your future, it is not imperative that you have a job or your own residence. Neither of those things should be what validates you as a person.”

Roman sighed. “Thanks… I really just… I feel bad, ya know? Having to take over your place like this.”

“Why?”

“I… I don’t know…”

“Then what reason do you have to continue to feel this way? What’s keeping you from stopping feeling this way right now?”

He let out a chuckle. “That’s just like you, goin’ all psychology on me.”

“That wasn’t psychology, it was common sense.”

“It was psychology, you’re just the kinda freak who doesn’t have to learn it!”

“You’re just jealous that you lack the level of common intelligence I have.”

“I’m not jealous, I’m grateful.” Logan looked purely insulted.

Once they had finished eating, Roman went to his new bedroom upstairs to organize his belongings while Logan took care of the dishes and rearranged to fit their mother’s china hutch somewhere. When he slid it into place in the dining room, he moved both small boxes of their mother’s belongings to the dining room and started sorting through it all, loading most of it into the china hutch. It wasn’t until he was unloading the second box that he stopped. He had picked up a tiny felt-covered box. He knew what it was before he opened it — her wedding ring. Their father had passed away when they were both still very young. Neither of them remembered him at all. But she would often get sentimental when it got too late into the night and go on and on and on about her husband, about how he was so excited to be a father, about how he would sing to her every night, about how much she hated his favorite TV show but watched it with him anyway because he was worth it, etc, etc. Logan brushed a hand across his face and realized he was crying. He folded his glasses and set them on the table, then sat down and rested his head in his hands. Why did this have to be so hard? He wasn’t sure how long he sat there like that, but at some point, his brother’s dog had come down to greet him and gently set it’s head on his leg. He sighed and wiped his eyes with the edge of his shirt. “Hello, Willie.” Immediately the dog perked up and spun a circle, wagging its tail madly. “What’s gotten you so excited?” Willie barked and spun a few more circles, then bounced between feet and whined, pacing to the living room and back. “Are you asking to be let outside?” At that, Willie barked excitedly and ran right up to him, jumping up and pouncing his front legs on his side. “Okay, okay! Um, down!” Willie obeyed and ran right back to the kitchen door this time, spinning circles all the while. “Alright, alright.” Logan put his glasses back on and let Willie out the back door, through the kitchen. Leaving the door open to hopefully let some of the cool breezes inside, he sat down on the steps of the back porch, closing his eyes against the breeze. Letting himself get worked up had made his face hot, and his eyes were sore. He would not be doing that again if he had any say in the matter.

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #thomas sanders fanfiction #the littles #the littles au #virgil #ts virgil #patton #ts patton #logan #ts logan #roman #ts roman #gt #giant tiny #size difference #grief #willie #doggo #little patton #heartache #heartache part two

[perspective-series]

Switched Perspective (20)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Mentions of Past Trauma and guilt

(Check the reblog for the links to the previous chapters and the prequel!)

This is a sequel to A Third Perspective! Read that first or you will be confused!

 “Aw,” Thomas commented, walking in on them as Roman was still holding Logan’s hand. “Look at you two, being all friendly.” The two stepped away from each other, looking embarrassed.

 “Thomas,” Roman asked. “Is dinner almost ready? I’m starving.” It was at this moment Roman realized that, other than the ice cream earlier, he had not eaten a proper meal all day.

 “Yup!” Thomas nodded. “I just finished, I’ll go get the others and we can eat.” 

 “Oh, wonderful.” Roman watched Thomas go down the hall, pausing to knock on the bedroom door.

 “Patton? Virgil?” Thomas called out. “Food’s done.”

 Both Patton and Virgil turned to Thomas with a smile, Patton having just finished his story. They followed the human out to the living room. Stopping real quick to pick up a borrower. Roman with Virgil and Logan with Patton, of course. Before heading to the kitchen as letting them off on the table.

 “Oh! What are we having?” Patton asked Thomas as he sat down.

 “Well, I was going to make you all a delicious meal from scratch,” Thomas said with a smile, bringing plates to the table. “And then I remembered I can’t do that. So instead here’s the best I could manage.” Thomas began to set down plates of frozen pizza in front of each person. He had cut some ultra-tiny slices for Roman and Logan, which were served on teacup saucers.

 Virgil looked at it for a moment, trying to remember what the food in front of him was. “Oh, it’s pizza, right?” He’d seen plenty of humans having some, but it was one of those foods that were almost impossible to borrow, so he had never had it.

 Patton looked excited. “It looks so good! Thank you, Thomas!”

 “Aw, you’re welcome Pat!” Thomas sat down at the head of the table, digging into his own portion.

 Logan looked at his plate, trying to decide how to best go about this without losing his dignity. 

 Meanwhile, Roman seemed to have abandoned that train of thought a long time ago. He picked up the slice from the middle, taking a large bite and getting sauce all over his face. 

 Virgil was about to take a bite out of his pizza (after watching how Thomas did it) but had to stop to cover his mouth to keep from laughing. “Roman, what the heck?” He asked.

 Patton had already taken a bite, eyes wide with how good it was, when his attention was turned to Roman as well. He chuckled. 

 “Whaaaat?” Roman’s words were a bit muffled as his mouth was full. He chewed and swallowed. “I’m hungry!”

 “Clearly.” Logan gestured to Thomas. “I do believe we’ll need a napkin over here.” 

 Thomas hid his own smirk, placing a napkin between them.

 “Besides, I don’t see you doing any better.” Roman pointed out, wiping his mouth off before going in for another bite.

 Logan eyed his meal. “I don’t think I’ll be eating tonight.”

 “Aww, come on Logan! We haven’t eaten anything all day! Unless you want to count the ice cream, but Thomas told me it was more of a snack.” Patton said, shrugging. Virgil didn’t say anything, but he did glance in Logan’s direction.

 “Well, I don’t particularly want to make a fool of myself.” Logan glanced briefly at Roman. “Besides, if we truly are going to change back soon, surely I can just eat then.”

 Roman looked back and forth between Virgil and Logan, not so sure. “Uh...I think you should eat, Logan.” Roman advised. It would likely be a while before everything changed back.

 “Yeah...you should really eat. Besides, none of us will think that.” Patton assured, smiling at Logan gently. 

 Virgil took another bite of pizza, looking away. He wasn’t really surprised about Patton and Roman’s thoughts on how things might go...but he was surprised with Logan. Did he truly believe they could work things out?

 “I can...get you something else to eat?” Thomas offered, feeling like this might be his fault. He hadn’t really chosen a dinner plan with borrowers in mind.

 “That would be appreciated, Thomas.” Logan gave a small nod. Thomas went to the kitchen, returning with a few slices of cheese and lunch meat. 

 Logan began to rip some smaller pieces off, eating them. Roman tried to take some as well, but Logan swatted his hand away.

 Virgil finished his slice and sat back. He tried turning his gaze anywhere else, but he couldn’t help but look at Logan. Knowing what was coming next. And he was sure Logan was dreading it just as much as he was.

 Patton went to take another slice, noticing Virgil’s gaze. Patton bit his lip, even though he knew Virgil wouldn’t try anything now, he was still a little worried.

 The tension in the room was palpable. Even Thomas, who was oblivious to just how out of hand the situation had gotten, could feel it.

 Logan could feel Virgil’s eyes on him. Logan grimaced, finishing off his food but keeping his eyes locked down on his empty plate. Only now did Logan realize he should have eaten slower. Perhaps then he could have delayed the inevitable.

 Roman glanced between them, wincing. “Sooo….” Roman looked around at everyone, trying desperately to break the silence.

 “I’m done,” Virgil spoke, picking up his plate and standing. “Where should I put this?” He asked Thomas. 

 Patton frowned, while Virgil was no longer looking at Logan, the air was still tense. And kind of awkward.

 “Oh, I’ll just take it.” Thomas offered, wanting a chance to escape back into the kitchen. He began to gather up the other empty plates as well.

 Virgil handed his plate over but didn’t sit back down, instead stuffing his hands into his pockets as he watched Thomas take the plates to the sink. 

 “Virge, kiddo, maybe you should sit back down and rest for a bit-”

 “I just want to get this over with, okay?” He was sick and tired of how everyone was looking at him. “I mean, ugh…” He rubbed his face. Right, he couldn’t get angry, not again.

 “I just think we need to start now because it might...take us a while.”

 “Agreed,” Logan said, although his eyes were still looking down. Now that Thomas had removed the plate, Logan was just staring at the graining on the wooden table.

 “Okay, but first, let’s all just take a second to calm down.” Roman stood up, putting his hands out towards Virgil and Logan as he stood between them looking back and forth. As if he could keep them apart. “We don’t want to do anything we regret here.” ...again.

 Roman did have a good point. Virgil took in a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. He thought back to what both Roman and Patton told him. 

 He opened his eyes and nodded. “Okay.” He simply said. 

 Patton smiled at him, knowing he was really trying. “Alright, now...how do we want to do this?” Patton asked. He was sure Logan didn’t want to be picked up by Virgil.

 “Ah…” Roman glanced at Logan, remembering his promise to stay nearby. “Well, Patton and I could just go to the bedroom and you guys stay here?”

 “I’ll go with you!” Thomas added on hastily, wanting to leave this awkward situation before he got roped in.

 “...Sounds good, I guess.” Virgil said and Patton grinned.

 “Great!” He offered his hand to Roman and as he got on, Patton leaned it close to Virgil. “Remember to hear him out, alright?” Virgil nodded and Patton gave him a more gentle smile before walking towards the bedroom with Roman in hand. 

 “Come on Thomas!”

 “Good luck, guys!” Thomas waved at them, shutting the bedroom door. 

 “...okay, so how long until we hear yelling?” Roman asked, raising an eyebrow.

 “If we’re lucky not at all,” Patton answered, setting Roman down on the desk. “But...probably in the next five minutes.”

 “And we’re all good here, right?” Roman raised an eyebrow, gesturing between himself and Patton.

 “Huh? Oh! Oh, yeah! Of course!” Patton paused for a moment. “Unless there’s anything you want to talk about?”

 “Just one thing,” Roman said, sticking out his pinkie finger.

 Patton tilted his head in confusion. “...What?”

 “A pinkie promise,” Roman explained. “You touch your pinky to mine, and it makes our friendship promise unbreakable.” Roman gave a small shrug. “I did it with Logan and Virgil, so I figured I’d complete the set.”

 “Oh!” Patton grinned. “Aww, that’s so cute! Humans come up with the best stuff!” He held out his pinkie. 

 Roman tapped his pinkie against it, smiling. 

#gt #Giant/tiny #thomas sanders #sanders sides #infinitesimal!sides #au #borrowers #roman sanders #switched!roman #virgil sanders #switched!virgil #patton sanders #switched!patton #logan sanders #switched!logan #character!thomas #platonic #lamp #switched perspective #part 20

[greenninjagal-blog]

Even If It Kills Us (but it won’t hopefully) pt2

hey, Hey, HEy, HEY! Sander’s Sides Mafia AU Part Two! 

(Mostly for @kindly-falling @laragazzadellluna who surprised me with wanting more)

Part one is right here! Summary: Virgil is a normal college student, who’s never done anything illegal, much less something worth sending hit men after him for. Unfortunately, it looks like he’s going to die before he gets his answers.

“Do you think you can--perhaps--make time now?” the man says in the most pretentious voice Virgil has ever heard, “I assure you it’s quite important.”

Virgil thinks hes going to throw up.

Because this man is holding a gun--a gun and he just killed a man

(regardless that the other man has just been trying to kill Virgil)

He just killed a man like it was nothing. Like it was a simple chore.

 Virgil chest heaves and it feels a lot like trying to inhale his own tongue. There are alarms and screaming and people trying to kill him and Virgil doesn’t know why but he knows this isn’t the time to be here.

fuck he can’t breathe

Patton’s fingers wrap his arm holding him to this reality like an anchor but Virgil thinks that this can’t be real. It can’t be real.

There’s a dead body on the floor a few meters from them.

But it can’t be real.

“Virgil,” The man says, “You need to breathe. This is not the time nor the place for a panic attack.”

 Patton--Patton-- growls at him. It’s surprising because Pat is the nice one, the flowered crowns, the puns, the sweaters and the warm hugs. Virgil is the one who hisses at people who get too close. 

But this is Patton who just stood in front of Virgil to save him from being potentially shot and Virgil thinks that he came so fucking close to losing the best person in his life

And he can’t exhale. His lungs scream.

“Virge,” Patton says quietly, “breathe with me.”

“We don’t have time--”

“Shut up!” Patton snaps. It’s not like him. Virgil breathes in and it feels a lot like claws dragging through his chest. 

He does it again.

“I’m okay,” He rasps out as if saying it out loud would make it true in any sense.

“Excellent,” The man deadpans, “It’s time to go.”

“Where?!” Patton demands, “And who are you?!”

“The man who just saved you life.” He responds distastefully. “That’s all you need to know. It’s time for you to leave.”

“Excuse me?!” 

Virgil is certain he’s never seen Patton like this. If he wasn’t already scared beyond belief, this would definitely be the thing causing him a panic attack. He’s already shaking all over, his whole body. 

(If pat lets go hes sure he’d shake himself apart)

“This doesn’t concern you anymore.” The man says, “Its a family matter.”

Virgil has never seen the man before today.

“People got shot!” 

The man considers his gun for a second and Virgil was certain he was going to shoot Patton too. “Yes, that is because they are the enemy. And quite frankly its time for you to step out unless you want to be shot at again.”

“I’m not leaving Virgil!”

“I don’t have time to argue this with you.” The man says, “Your blood is on your own hands, not mine.”

It sounds like a threat. 

Patton squeezes Virgil’s shoulder.

Another form comes crashing around the corner behind them, but Virgil barely has time to register who they are before the man has fired two shots and they drop. It’s effortless. He fires again but the chamber is empty.

“Time to go,” He says.

He reaches out for Virgil’s arm and then stops himself-- “Can you run?”

Virgil nods.

They run.

Everything in Virgil screams that they were going to be shot, killed. But the man seems rather confident as he shoves open the exit door, eyes darting the outside.

They aren’t more than a foot outside before an expensive red sports car is plows over the curb and blocks their easy exit. 

(Virgil doesn’t know a lot about cars, but fuck is this one nice)

The window is already down and the driver is smirking something awful. “Get in!”

The man who had saved their lives, stops short, “Absolutely not!”

The driver laughs good-naturedly and pulls a gun from somewhere. “How about now?”

There’s several gunshots from behind them. The glass door to the theater shatters.

“Fuck This,” Virgil breathes and because these people aren’t the ones currently trying to shoot him, he grabs the door handle and throws himself into the car. Patton lands sideways in his lap.

The man looks absolutely scandalized, “You cannot--!” 

“Get in the damn car, Logan!” The driver shouts, “What’s the worse that can happen?”

“You’ll get us killed!”

The man--Logan-- gets in the car anyway.

Several bullets hit the door as it closes.

The driver laughs again, and Virgil is pretty sure he’s having fun. He presses the gas pedal to the actual floor and the car just explodes. Virgil hits the opposite door and Patton tumbles off the seat to the floor.

“I swEAR!” Logan yells as the driver spins out of the parking lot going at speeds that were illegal for a good reason. They nearly collide headfirst with three different cars but they were already gone by the time the other drivers even honked their horns.

“Ooh! Tails!” The driver called, checking his mirrors casually and running a red light. He tosses his gun in Logan’s lap, “Do you mind?”

“You are a terrible driver!” Logan snarls at him. 

Virgil digs his hands into the leather seats. His stomach is in his throat as Logan leans out the open window, and fires again and again. Virgil can see him through the other windows, and his cold and calculating look that tightens when their driver makes an unexpected jerk of his wheel. 

He can’t hear a thing.

Then Logan throws the gun, having emptied it, into the open air and climbs back in their car with curses tumbling off his lips.

“Who taught you how to drive?” He snarls.

“Did you get them?” The driver asks unbothered.

“no I left them--of fucking course i did. I’m not you!” 

Awesome. Virgil who’s never even jaywalked before, realizes that he is in a car with two strangers, both of who had guns and knew how to use them, not to mention their driver had already broken at least fifty driving laws. 

what the fucking hell

“Ouch harsh,” The driver laughs though, he reaches up and tilts the rearview mirror, “How’s it going back there, Sanders?”

“I’m going to throw up.” Virgil says. It’s not a lie.

“Hey, watch the leather, Jack Smellington, I just got her cleaned!”

Then for some ungodly reason Patton starts laughing too.

(Further proof, Virgil thinks, that Patton is crazy)

“Wow!” Pat reaches up and fixes his glasses, “I didn’t know the movie was in 4-D!”

“This is not a movie!” Logan hisses but his seriousness is in stark contrast with their drivers booming laugh. 

(it’s different now, Virgil can’t quite put his finger on why, but it just sounds different)

“Who’s the puffball?” The driver asks, “I like him.”

“Patton Pater!” Patton!! says!! brightly!! “I like you too! What’s your name?”

“Roman Prince!” He says, “Resident Knight in shining armor!”

“A reckless playboy, with far too many cars and not enough rules.” Logan corrects with a sneer, “This is not your business, Prince.”

“It is when the next heir is as cute as he is!”

Virgil’s heart stops, “what?”

“i said you’re cute! Do you swing my way?”

Logan turns around in his seat. “Ignore him,” He commands, but Virgil gets the feeling Roman is not going to let that stand. “Based on your reactions in these past few minutes, I’m going to assume that you have no clue what is going on.”

Virgil’s throat is so dry he can barely breathe again, “Are you taking me somewhere to kill me?”

Logan sighs and takes off his glasses to clean them which is not an answer.

Roman zooms onto a freeway, “Did you even introduce yourself, Specs?” 

(Virgil absently wonders why there are no Police cars chasing them down)

“My name is Logan. Sanders.” Logan says slowly, “We’re cousins.”

“That’s...” impossible is on the top of Virgil’s tongue, but he then remembers how cagey his mom always was when holidays came up. He knew he had relatives, somewhere but he had known better than to ask after the first time. “....alright.” 

(it’s not alright. Its very, very far from alright.)

((Patton takes his hand and its enough support for Virgil to remember to exhale))

“Excellent,” Logan replaces his glasses. If it weren’t for the blood on his tie he could have been a TA at their college. “Our family is a mafia.”

Roman jerks the wheel and Logan’s head slams into the head rest. Patton lets out a yelp. 

“Sorry Padre!” Roman shoots a sideways glare at Logan, “Really? Spock, there were a hundred other ways to break it to the kid. He looks like he’s going to faint. We’ve talked about this.”

“You talked, I did not listen because I do not want any misconceptions to arise.” Logan hisses, “I don’t want him to think anything other than the honest truth!”

Roman’s smile quirks viciously, “Oh that would be just awful wouldn’t it.”

Virgil doesn’t like the connotation of that.

He doesn’t like any of this.

(Part of him is horrified because he can understand it?? Why does it make sense to him?? His mom obviously never wanted anything to do with this part of his family, how she tried to keep him at home, how she always seemed to be looking over her shoulder, too paranoid to let him out of her sights. Part of him wonders if he always knew this, always knew something just wasn’t right.)

“What does that have to do with Virgil?” Patton asks innocently. 

(Virgil knows he does that on purpose: its a load question and Patton is the barrier between it and Virgil himself)

Logan clenches his jaw, “It has to do with Virgil, because Virgil is the only other viable heir.”

“....what?”

Virgil’s voice is dry and broken. He had to have heard wrong. This wasn’t, couldn’t be real.

“Three nights ago the head of the family, Thomas Sanders, was murdered.” Logan says and then pauses.

“Murdered?” Patton repeats.

“Most of the family thinks it was our rivals--”

“Rivals?” Virgil interrupts, “You mean that’s who trying to kill me?”

Roman laughs, “God, that would be ironic!”

Logan makes an annoyed noise, “No the Prince’s aren’t the ones attempting to kill you. Though they should keep to themselves as this does not include them.”

“I can drop you off right here if you want.”

Virgil makes a noise in the back of his throat.

Roman meets his eyes in the rear view mirror, “Chill out, Winter Sulker! None of my family’s going to touch you without my say so. I’m my families heir.”

“Then who is trying to hurt my kiddo?” Patton asks, “And why?”

Logan clicks his tongue. “Thomas well...

“He named you, Virgil, heir to the family, although it is not logical in any sense--” He stops himself again seeming to remember who he was speaking to. “You are Thomas’s heir and therefore are slotted to take over. And unfortunately, not everyone in the family is...agreeable to this course of action.”

Part Three

#virgil sanders #sanders sides virgil #sanders sides logan #logan sanders #patton sanders #sander sides patton #roman sanders #sanders sides roman #au #mafia au #guns #mafia war #college students

[miguel-manbemel]

Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 24: Bold Bonding Between Brothers

New entry of the “Aspects & Fanfics”, the first one of the year 2020. I hope you enjoy it, and also the new ship that is gonna be featured from now one, starting from the end card in this episode. New year, new ship. I’m not going to say much more and leave you with the story, which as the title suggests will be focused in the relationship between Roman and Remus. I don’t think there’s any need for any kind of label. It’s the normal relation between two brothers that sometimes they love each other and sometimes they hate each other, sometimes both at the same time. The normal siblings relationship, that is.

As usual, if you want to read previous entries of the story, as well as seeing past posts from this vlog, you can find them right here. And I hope you enjoy it. Until next time.

SYNOPSIS: Thomas is entering a literary contest where they ask for scripts for a feature film. The winner will get his script made by a legendary director. The problem is that the asked genre is horror, and Roman is not an expert on the matter, which will make him call Remus for help. But will they be able to work together or will the differences and Remus’ fear make it all blow away?

WARNINGS: Horror is mentioned throughout the story, including some disturbing scenes mentioned by Remus. Romantic Prinxiety is featured as usual but (spoilers) also romantic Logicality will make an entrance in the end card.

EPISODE INDEX

[Thomas is in front of the camera with his New Year hat on and a cup of champagne on his hand]

THOMAS: [singing to the tune of “Auld Lang Syne”]

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and never brought to mind?

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and old lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,

for auld lang syne,

we'll take a cup of kindness yet,

for auld lang syne…

[yelling with a wide smile, rising his cup] Happy new year! [he suddenly goes serious as if he was listening to someone] Wait, what do you mean we’re already way into the New Year? [smiling bashfully] Wow… Some parties really go wild, don’t they? [a little concerned] But it’s still 2020, right…? And what are you still doing in my house? The party’s over now! Get out! Shoo, shoo!

[intro sequence]

THOMAS: What is up, everybody!? You see, this morning a friend of mine told me about something that could be fun. It is a contest, a script-writing contest. The winner gets to have his script filmed by prestigious director Steven Spielstokes, director of “Indiana Picani and the Last Cartoon Therapy”! It is a unique opportunity!

ROMAN: [rising up, excited] It is, Thomas! I can’t wait to start on this project!

THOMAS: Right!? I’m pumped up!

ROMAN: Me too! This is the chance you’ve been waiting for! You’ll be able to join the elite of so many prestigious scriptwriters that preceded you. And the Oscar awaits you, Thomas, all shiny and golden and…

LOGAN: [rising up] We get it, Roman. There’s no need to exaggerate. Besides, don’t put your hopes too high before time is due. There will surely be thousands of contestants trying their luck and many of them will be as talented as Thomas or more. We can be the winners, but we must be ready to accept defeat if it comes.

ROMAN: Ugh… here comes professor Wet Necktie, always spoiling the fun…

THOMAS: Roman, nicknames…

ROMAN: Sorry, Logan. And getting back into the stuff that really matters in this conversation, what are the rules? I need to know the limitations I shall have to place into my work, to start planning and all that stuff…

THOMAS: Um, yes… I read them just a couple of minutes ago. It has to be a script of a feature length, between 60 and 80 minutes, written in standard script format, and the topic is…

ROMAN: Romance? Fantasy? Musical? Adventures?

THOMAS: …horror.

ROMAN: [suddenly serious] What? Horror!? [looking at Logan] Well, I hope you’re proud of yourself, Logan. You jinxed it all with your talking about accepting defeat. I know nothing about the horror genre! That’s not my department!

THOMAS: I was afraid of that, never better said. I never made any true horror story, so I didn’t know how well you could perform in this genre. So, I let the contest slide, right?

ROMAN: No, no yet, Thomas. There’s always a first time for everything. If I have to write… [face of disgust] horror, then horror it will be. [smirks] Besides, I’ve got an ace under my sleeve, the best consultant I could ever ask for: my husband.

LOGAN: That’s absurd, Roman, Virgil doesn’t fit into your sleeve.

ROMAN: [singsongy voice] Virg-i-i-i-l!

VIRGIL: [rises up] Please, would you mind not calling me like that again? It makes me feel like a dog called by his owner.

ROMAN: That’s why I call you like that, my cute little puppy!

VIRGIL: And don’t call me like that, please… not in front of the others, at least.

THOMAS: I’ll pretend that I didn’t hear that.

LOGAN: Agreed…

VIRGIL: So what do you want, Roman?

ROMAN: I’m glad that you ask, Virge. I need your help. I have to write a horror story and…

VIRGIL: You do understand that, even if I look like a creepy dark emo, creativity, creepy or otherwise, is not my department, right Ro?

THOMAS: [low voice] …Ro?

VIRGIL: I’d love to be able to help you, but other than with brief inspirations based on Thomas’ real anxious experiences, there’s not much I can do for you. And you don’t want me to make Thomas go through a hell of anxiety to give you story ideas, right?

ROMAN: Well…

THOMAS: [firm voice] No, Roman, you don’t!

ROMAN: [sighs] Fine… Then I don’t know what to do.

VIRGIL: Well, you could ask another Side for help. Another Side that could be really well versed on the matter.

[as he names each one of them, the Sides rise up one by one, not knowing how they got there as if summoned against their will]

ROMAN: Well, Patton wouldn’t be of help. Last time I read him Little Red Riding Hood he got so scared he slept for two weeks with a bottle of purgative in his pajama pocket to use it if some Big Bad Wolf swallowed him while he slumbered, to make him throw up. Deceit… I don’t know. He has trouble remembering lines. He’d forget everything he’s given me and it would be a really incoherent story. Honesty… he is out of the question. He’s too attached to reality to create a work of fiction. He couldn’t even make a single change to his room from the real living room. How could he create a simple story? Logan… he would be great for a horror poem, but people don’t speak in verses unless it is a period stage show. This is a script where characters are not supposed to speak in rhymes, I don’t think he could be good on that either.

LOGAN: I’m here, listening to you belittling me, in case you didn’t notice.

PATTON: What is going on here, kiddos?

LOGAN: Thomas has to write a horror story and Roman’s considering his options for assistance.

PATTON: [unsettled] Ho… horror? What am I doing here, then? I don’t like horror stories.

ROMAN: [to Virgil] See?

HONESTY: It’s okay, Patton, it’s fiction. It’s not real and it can’t hurt you.

DECEIT: [creepy voice] Unless…

[Patton gets scared and Honesty goes to comfort him]

HONESTY: Dee, stop pestering the child!

DECEIT: Sorry, Patton, I was kidding… unless…

[Honesty looks at Deceit with a murderous glance as Patton whines on Honesty’s shoulder and grabs him, terribly scared]

ROMAN: You see how my judgments on each Side were on point? So, as I was saying, I don’t know what Side you really mean, Virgil.

VIRGIL: [beat] You’ve left out the Side I really meant on purpose, right?

ROMAN: [sighs] Yes.

DECEIT: But why? He’s your brother, Roman. They say that the best working relationships, especially in creative works, are the ones composed of siblings. Why not giving him a chance?

ROMAN: For ordinary siblings, maybe, but we’re not ordinary siblings, Dee. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean I don’t want to work with him. I’d love for us to be able to create something together. It’s just I don’t know how I could work with Remus. We’re so different in terms of creativity. I don’t like anything he comes up with and he doesn’t like anything I come up with. And also, I may be a little extra…

LOGAN: A little?

ROMAN: [frowning at Logan] …but in spite of that, I create my works methodically and seriously. And Remus seems to be so chaotic in everything he does. It would be a hell of a working environment.

VIRGIL: And yet, him being the part that takes care of Thomas’ dark creativity, he’s the best Side for the job. You know it, Roman. You need to call him.

ROMAN: Maybe he doesn’t want to work on this.

VIRGIL: You won’t know if you don’t ask him. Call him.

ROMAN: [sighs] Okay… I hope I don’t regret this… Remus! If you hear me, come quick! I need you here!

REMUS: [suddenly appearing with his usual grin, next to Roman, who flinches at his sudden appearance] Wow, Roman, this is new! You are summoning me? You really must be desperate for something, am I right?

ROMAN: Well, I really am, to be honest.

REMUS: Well, what is it? How can this crazy little brother help his fluffy big brother?

ROMAN: I’m not fluffy!

REMUS: Yes, you are. You’ve gained a little weight on your buttocks since the last time we met, bro.

ROMAN: [briefly scared, trying to look at his own buttocks] What!? Really!? [suddenly returning to his previous attitude] Whatever, that doesn’t matter right now. What do you know about horror?

REMUS: [pumped up] Horror? I love horror stories! There are so many ideas I have written in the last few years! Why do you ask?

ROMAN: Well, Thomas needs to write a horror story and…

REMUS: And you have no idea where to start, right? Of course you don’t, all the horrifying creativity stayed with me after the split. But don’t worry, bro, Remus is here to save your butthole!

THOMAS: If only he could avoid using that word in one of every two sentences…

REMUS: What word, “butthole”? It’s not true that I use “butthole” all the time! I used “buttocks” earlier!

[Thomas sighs in frustration]

REMUS: So, what are you thinking on, Thomas?

THOMAS: Well, as I told Roman, this is for a script writing contest, so it has to be a script, of feature length, and the theme is horror.

REMUS: Any specifics? Horror is a broad term, there are so many things we could put into the story.

THOMAS: No, no specifics. Just horror. But I don’t want anything that would be too gruesome or too extreme. [pointing at Patton] Not in front of the kids.

[Patton is wearing headphones and smiles while humming a song. Honesty is with him]

HONESTY: It’s okay, I got it with Patton. He’s distracted with the Spongebob camp song and will be okay… as long as his phone battery lasts, that is.

REMUS: [looking at Patton, then at Roman] And you’re telling me that you didn’t go crazy like me after having to cope with this kind of shenanigans all day? Okay, let’s get cracking. [he cracks his hands while saying this, making Thomas grimace] I would personally go for gruesome, because that’s the most horrifying and fun, but if you say you don’t want too gruesome, let’s stick with that. You’re the master after all, the Light Master to be exact.

ROMAN: Okay, I had thought about the story taking place in a castle…

REMUS: Boring.

ROMAN: You didn’t let me start explaining the story and you already find it boring?

REMUS: Sorry, Rommie, but a horror story taking place in a castle? That’s too cliche. Besides, there’s nothing so special with castles. Believe me, I know.

ROMAN: If you’re saying that with your own castle in mind, our experience on that castle suggests otherwise, I’m just saying.

REMUS: Oh, please, Roman, what I made you go through were just little fancy games. If those silly antics upset you, you should see the castle’s west wing on the way to my chamber of secrets next to my bedroom.

DECEIT: Why does that “chamber of secrets” thing make me shiver in disgust even though I don’t really know what’s in there?

REMUS: Oh, I call it like that for the Harry Potter book, but I’d never have secrets with you, Slimy Boi. If you want to know what’s in there, I have…

ROMAN: Remus, we have work to do, remember? If you really call yourself creativity, please behave like it and start creating.

REMUS: [shrugs] Okay, it’s your loss, anyway. I enjoy myself there all the time.

ROMAN: [sighs] So, you don’t like the castle as a horror topic. Then, what do you suggest?

REMUS: Well, my suggestion is to place horror where ever the viewer would less suspect to find it. This way, throwing it unexpectedly to him would make a bigger impact on them, don’t you think? For instance… a children’s playground in a park, in broad daylight.

THOMAS: It doesn’t look very easy to find something horrifying in a setting like that…

REMUS: That’s what makes it more challenging, Thomas. Imagine this. An invisible creature, some kind of abomination from an antediluvian era, which has been asleep for uncountable centuries, suddenly wakes up and rises to the surface, in the middle of the playground, and it starts snatching kids and… well you said you didn’t want gruesome details… [pumped up] I don’t care, I want to say this! It starts eating them alive in front of their horrified parents! Ugh… I’m so good…

THOMAS: [ironic] Thank you for omitting the gruesome details, Remus.

ROMAN: Couldn’t we use a story where kids don’t have to die?

REMUS: Yeah, we could, but it wouldn’t be as fun.

THOMAS: Roman is right, I have a reputation of working for young audiences. Suddenly releasing something as gory as that, it could damage future working opportunities for me.

REMUS: Said the guy who played J.D. from Heathers, a character who tried to blow up a whole school after murdering several students. You played that character five years ago, and your career survived afterwards. I don’t know how since you never made anything special at all, but it did.

THOMAS: That’s different, I’m an actor, I need to work on all kinds of roles to grow as a performer, and I took care of warning my viewers beforehand of the kind of show that was Heathers. But creating something from scratch, it makes you deeply involved into it. My regular audience would want to watch it and it could create a bad image of me.

REMUS: And what does prevent you from warning your viewers again? I mean, to me, it’s nothing so bad, but if you think it would be traumatizing for your audience, that could work.

LOGAN: I never thought I would ever say this, but I agree with Remus. What you did with Heathers, you can do the same with any type of creative work, Thomas. You can create anything you want and, as long as you keep everybody aware of the type of content you’ve created and that content doesn’t go against any law, you and your viewers will be fine. A creator should be allowed to evolve. They’re not forced to stick with a limited type of works for the rest of their career. You can create adult content whenever you want as long as you label it appropriately.

THOMAS: Okay, you two may have a point. But still, I don’t want children to die in my story. I want to make something I personally like, and I wouldn’t like that. It’s a question of taste, if you like.

REMUS: [groans] More like Patton’s taste, I think… No, Thomas, I don’t like it, but if that’s your final word, so be it. Let’s look for something else.

ROMAN: How about a mansion with a group of people whose members start disappearing one by one and the others get scared about who’s making them disappear?

REMUS: Roman, please, try to be original. That story has been told millions of times. “The House that Screamed”, “House on Haunted Hill”, “Maniac Mansion”… And besides, it’s not even horror, it’s the typical whodunit flick, like one of those boring Agatha Christie’s novels, where only one person dies and the rest of the time it’s just the others, or a pompous detective, going in circles to find the murderer. I mean, if I killed someone, I wouldn’t hide it, I wouldn’t mind the consequences at all.

LOGAN: [offended] Hey, take it easy! Do not besmirch Dame Agatha Christie’s – may she rest in peace – name in my presence! However, you’re right on the rest of your sentence, Remus, except the part of you murdering someone, of course. A whodunit, even though it can have some horrifying elements, is generally classified as part of the thriller or suspense genre. I don’t know if that’s exactly what the contest is asking for. They specifically ask for “horror”.

THOMAS: Yeah, that’s right.

VIRGIL: Is no one going to acknowledge that, out of the three examples Remus named, two were actual horror flicks? I know, I watched them.

REMUS: My advice is that, instead of making people disappear, we see the creatures who are snatching them in all their gruesome detail, with their sharp teeth, their red eyes, their sticky tentacles. I love tentacles, personal preference. Did I mention “Day of the Tentacle” is my favorite video game?

ROMAN: Why do you have to use gruesome creatures? Not every horror story has to be gory, in case you didn’t know.

REMUS: I know, Roman, but designing these creatures gives me more space to develop my creativity. Humanoid dangers are too dull for my taste.

ROMAN: [groans in frustration] Ugh… It’s just as I feared.

REMUS: What?

ROMAN: You and I are like water and oil, Remus. We’ll never mix well. It’s like we’ll never agree on anything at all.

REMUS: Bullsh… [bleep] , Roman. You’re just not trying hard enough.

ROMAN: I’m not trying hard enough? I’m the one pitching all the ideas and you’re the one twisting them, as you always do!

REMUS: Well, if you brought up some interesting input, then I wouldn’t have to fix anything!

ROMAN: If everything you’re gonna do is fixing my works, then I don’t want you nearby!

[Remus shows a face of utter offense and hurt]

THOMAS: Guys…

REMUS: You don’t want me nearby? What do you mean by that?

ROMAN: I mean exactly what you think I mean! Get away from me and let me work in peace!

THOMAS: Guys, please…

REMUS: So, the cat’s out of the bag at last. You recognize that you don’t want me in your life, right!?

ROMAN: [suddenly confused] Wait, what? I…

REMUS: I’m glad that you admit that! At least this time, you’ve been honest and didn’t trick me into jumping on a boat to leave me on a lost island!

ROMAN: [stuttering, not understanding anything] Wait… what is going on here? I…

REMUS: Don’t worry, bro! I’m not gonna make it difficult for you! You can go on living your perfect dreamlike life however you want, and I’ll return back to my crazy lonely life as I’ve always been! Don’t think I will suffer over losing you! I’ve lived 20 years all alone and I can live like that again whenever I want! Despite what your self-aggrandizing ego suggests you, you’re not so important, [mocking voice] your majesty!

[after saying this, Remus sinks down. Everyone stays quiet and confused for a couple of seconds]

THOMAS: What… has just happened here?

ROMAN: I wish I knew, Thomas. I thought we were having a creative discussion. I don’t know where that came from… Did I… Did I do or say something wrong? You guys sometimes call me out for not being nice when I didn’t even realize I wasn’t…

DECEIT: It’s okay, Roman. It’s not your fault. Or Remus’ fault either.

ROMAN: Dee, do you know anything about this that I don’t?

DECEIT: As a matter of fact, I do, but you should talk it out with Remus yourself. This is something between him and you that you two should fix.

ROMAN: Fix? Up to this point, I didn’t even realize there was something broken between us at all. I thought we had fixed all our disagreements these past few weeks. If you know something, please, tell me, cause I’m totally confused.

DECEIT: Okay, I’ll tell you. It’s because you’ve turned back into a Light Side.

ROMAN: What? But I thought that would be a cause of joy for him, not of anger. Now I’m more confused than before…

DECEIT: Of course he’s happy for you, Roman. But he’s also… scared.

ROMAN: Scared? Of what?

DECEIT: He thinks that you bonded with him because you were a Dark Side and had no choice but to get closer to him or being completely lonely. Now that you’re a Light Side and back with us, he thinks you’re not gonna need him anymore and he’s scared to death of losing you again.

ROMAN: But… that’s nonsense. I wouldn’t do that. My feelings for him remain the same. He’s my brother, I wouldn’t dump him out.

DECEIT: That’s what I tried to tell him the other day, to ease his concern. But I guess it didn’t work. It seems that Remus, the embodiment of intrusive thoughts, also has intrusive thoughts of his own torturing him and that thought of you hating him must be recurrent for him. Perhaps if you told him yourself… He would believe it more easily if he heard it from your own lips and your own heart.

ROMAN: I mean… it’s my own fault that he has that thought on a regular basis. After all, I did leave him behind once… but I’m not the same I used to be back then and my feelings for him are not the same as they were either. Of course I’ll go tell him. He’ll probably be in his room, right? I’ll go see him.

THOMAS: Roman, I don’t want to intrude or anything, but if you go, could we use your orb to check that everything’s going okay? I will be terribly worried otherwise.

ROMAN: Okay, seems fair. Remus doesn’t have secrets of any kind, anyway. Or so I thought. Can’t believe he talked about this first to Deceit instead of directly to me.

DECEIT: Don’t worry about that. You know when someone needs to vent, the last person they do it with is the person with whom they have the problem.

ROMAN: You’re right, I guess… [pulls out the orb and gives it to Thomas] Okay, I’ll let you watch, but if things get too personal, I’ll switch it off, okay? [sinking down] See ya in a moment, guys.

PATTON: I really hope he can make amends with him, even if I don’t like Remus’ ideas very much, it’s Roman’s brother. And today’s task is a proof that Thomas needs him just like any other of us.

HONESTY: What? I thought you were listening to your headphones, Patton…

PATTON: Oh, I switched them off long ago.

HONESTY: And the subjects they were talking about didn’t scare you?

PATTON: A bit, but with you next to me as you were, I was less afraid. I can cope with horror as long as I have my friends supporting me.

HONESTY: [flattered and emotional] Awww!

VIRGIL: [smirks] My dad is the pure incarnation of cuteness, he can’t help it.

THOMAS: Guys, the orb is turning on. Let’s see how they’re doing.

[The guys watch the orb. Roman rises up in Remus’ room. He’s nowhere to be seen]

ROMAN: Remus? Remus, where are you? [waits for a couple of seconds] I know you’re here, Remus. Stop hiding. I just want to talk to you.

[Remus pops up, serious]

REMUS: And I just want you to leave me alone, Roman. Is that so hard to ask for?

ROMAN: Not until we have talked this out, Remus.

REMUS: There’s nothing to talk about, Roman. You made it very clear in the living room. You don’t want me with you.

ROMAN: I didn’t say that!

REMUS: Yes, you did! I am a nuisance for you and you don’t want me nearby! You said it!

ROMAN: You misinterpreted me, Remus. It’s true that our working routine is too… bumpy. And I admit that it’s too hard for me to work with you because we’re too different. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to try to make it work out. I was talking out of frustration, I didn’t mean it! And I was only talking about our work, not about our life!

REMUS: Yeah, right. Do you really expect me to believe you? You’re not the most trustworthy individual in the world. I suffered the consequences of your tricks once and I’m not buying them again. I’ll break ties with you and go back to my castle alone before you decide to send me to the trash can again. I don’t want to be abandoned again. I don’t know if I could take it, and I’m scared to death to find out.

ROMAN: Brother, you’re wrong. And me using the word “brother” should already be giving you an indication. I told you many times already. You are my brother. I don’t want you out of my life again and I will never abandon you again. That Roman that hurt you so bad years ago is long gone. I have changed. I promise I’m saying the truth. I already told you these past few weeks and I really meant it.

REMUS: Bullsh… [bleep] You said all of that these past few weeks because you were stuck as a Dark Side and wanted someone to distract you from your boredom. I just happened to be the only one available, an amusement to keep you entertained and distracted from the memories of the people you really wanted to be with. Now that you have those people that you really care for back in your life, you don’t need me anymore. That’s a fact.

ROMAN: No, Remus, that’s a falsehood, as Logan would say. Yes, I missed my friends and I do care about them, but I also care about you. As I also told you, it scared me to get closer to you at first because I feared your rejection. Do you think I would care about that if I didn’t really care about you?

REMUS: Who knows? As far as I know, you’re just as dramatic as I am and you could have been overreacting in regards to that just because. After all, I don’t really know you that much. You didn’t let me, remember? And you don’t get to truly know someone in a few days.

ROMAN: Well, I want to fix that. I want you to know me and I want to know you.

REMUS: I…

ROMAN: Don’t you see that, out of fear of being dumped out, you’re the one who’s in fact dumping me out and that you are forcing to happen what right now is only happening in your mind? Please, don’t do that. It would really hurt me if you do that. And I know it would hurt yourself too, and I don’t want you to get hurt.

REMUS: I don’t want you to get hurt either, and of course I don’t want it to happen. It’s just that… [his voice starts breaking and his eyes fill with tears] I’m so scared… I love you. I’ve always loved you and I’m so scared of losing you again.

ROMAN: Then don’t make that happen for real, Remus, because I love you too, and I’m never gonna leave you again. Let’s be brothers once and for all.

[Roman hugs Remus. Remus hugs Roman back and starts sobbing on his shoulder]

REMUS. I’m sorry, Roman. I’m sorry…

ROMAN: It’s okay… brother. I’m sorry too. Calm down, okay?

[Roman looks right at the camera from the orb with a gesture of apologize, and the orb turns off]

LOGAN: Well, I guess Roman wants some moments of privacy now.

THOMAS: I understand. I’m relieved, though, to see that at least they’re fixing things up. But now, what are we going to do with the contest? I can’t create any horror without Roman and Remus. So what are we going to…

[Suddenly, Romulus rises up in Roman’s place by surprise]

THOMAS: [scared] What!? Romulus!? You’re back? What is going on here!?

ROMAN: It’s okay, Thomas. It’s me, Roman. The original Roman before Remus and I split up.

THOMAS: [frowns] Suspicious… I don’t know if I should trust you. Maybe I should break you up like the last time, just in case…

ROMAN: [scared] Please, don’t do that, Thomas, don’t force us to split again. Last time, you turned me into a Dark Side. Next time, I may not live to see another day.

DECEIT: I think he’s saying the truth, Thomas.

THOMAS: Are you sure, Dee?

DECEIT: You know I can catch a liar from miles away, Thomas, and he’s not lying. It’s Roman.

ROMAN: Thank you, Dee.

THOMAS: Okay, if you say so, Deceit. Well, what happened, Roman?

ROMAN: I’m not entirely sure. When we were hugging, I felt a heartwarming sensation, and suddenly Remus joined into me. And here I am.

THOMAS: It’s weird. I thought you couldn’t join together again, and the result certainly has been a lot different from the last time when that hideous Romulus almost replaced both of you.

LOGAN: I’ve got a theory. Maybe working out your issues has had a beneficial effect, Roman. The last time, you joined because of your mutual unhealthy dependence of each other and the result was a distorted and unstable fusion that eventually became Romulus. Then you lost your capacity of fusion because of the trauma of the abrupt separation, and later, when you recovered, Remus’ fears could have acted as a hindering block, figuratively like one of those deadlock seals from Doctor Who that the sonic screwdriver couldn’t unlock. Now, all hinders are gone and, most importantly, the fusion has been born from your love for each other instead of any kind of dependence, and as such the original Roman came out as a result and not the corrupt Romulus.

PATTON: It’s what I always say, then. Love fixes everything.

THOMAS: But are you sure you’re gonna be okay, Roman? And what about Remus?

ROMAN: That’s worrying me a bit too, Thomas. Logan, now that you’ve mentioned Doctor Who, and since you are our own Doctor on this team…

LOGAN: That’s the biggest compliment you’ve ever given me, Roman, thank you.

ROMAN: …would you mind doing me a medical checkup, please, just to be sure?

LOGAN: Not at all, Roman. Allons-y!

THOMAS: I hope he doesn’t pull out a sonic screwdriver… That would be cool but this is serious business…

PATTON: [happily] Since Logan is the Doctor, can I be his companion, please!?

[Logan blushes for a second, then he clears his throat, approaches Roman and puts his hand on Roman’s chest. Logan starts shaking for a few seconds, then takes his hand off and goes back to his place]

LOGAN: As far as I know, Roman. You’re totally fine. Your form is stable, you’re still a Light Side and if you wanted, you could stay like this permanently. It’s your natural state as you were born, so that shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone.

ROMAN: …but? Because I sense you’re gonna say “but”.

LOGAN: But… if you stay like this for more than a couple of hours a day, Remus will disappear and become part of you, making the fusion irreversible. Also your traditional form as Roman would disappear forever. You’d be stuck as you are right now forever. No more Netflix-Kids-and-Family-Roman. And before you mention it, Thomas, the intrusive thoughts would still be there, only that they would be served by Roman, whether he likes it or not.

ROMAN: No, I don’t like that. And I don’t want my brother gone now that we made amends. But couldn’t I force the split like I did 20 years ago when Remus was born?

LOGAN: You may try, but I doubt it would work now, and besides, some different Sides would appear as a result. It wouldn’t be the same Remus as we know him, and we don’t know how much of the Roman we know would be left. It’s too big of a risk.

ROMAN: You’re right. I’ll split up soon. But first, I think we could take this chance to help Thomas with his contest. In my full form I get all kinds of great ideas for a horror flick.

THOMAS: That sounds cool, if we do it quick. I don’t want you two to get into any risks because of me.

ROMAN: Of course. You said we had around two hours, right? Then let’s get to work right now.

THOMAS: Okay. [to the viewers] Well, we’ve got a lot of work to do and very little time, so, until next time, take it easy, guys, gals and non binary pals. Peace out!

[end card]

[Logan is in his room. Patton rises up]

PATTON: Hi, Logan.

LOGAN: Oh, hello, Patton. How are you?

PATTON: I’m fine. Roman and Thomas are still working on their horror story, so I stepped out.

LOGAN: Yeah, fiction is not my department, so I decided to dedicate some time to catch up on some books I’ve had for some time.

PATTON: Oh, I see you’re reading Roman’s story, the one he gave you for your Secret Santa two years ago.

LOGAN: Yeah, please don’t tell him it took me so long to read it. I’d say I didn’t have a free second to read it until now, and as a matter of fact, I’ve been busy all this time because Thomas has been busy all this time. But, to be honest, I forgot about it until Remus mentioned Agatha Christie in our debate earlier and I remembered Roman wrote me a Sherlock Holmes mystery story just for me that I still hadn’t read. Roman would be really offended if he found out and I don’t want to hurt him.

PATTON: It’s okay, Logan. You always had the intention of reading it someday and that’s what matters. And what do you think about it so far?

LOGAN: The story is very good. Roman really knows me well and what I like most of a fictional story. I’m enjoying it very much. It’s too bad I didn’t read it sooner. I wish he makes me more presents like this in years to come.

PATTON: I’m glad that you mention presents, because… I came here because I have a present for you.

LOGAN: [closing the book] A present? For me? But why? Christmas is long over and my birthday is many months from now.

PATTON: Just because, Logan, like when you gave me this cat hoodie as a present. There was no reason, other than how much we love each other. [pulling out a wrapped box] Platonically, of course.

LOGAN: [blushes] Of course… And what is it?

PATTON: Open it and you’ll find out.

[Patton gives Logan the box. He opens it and takes out the content]

LOGAN: Is this… a sonic screwdriver? Like the one used by the Ninth and Tenth Doctor from Doctor Who?

PATTON: Yep, I loved the idea of you as the Doctor and me as the companion, so I decided to give you this for the occasion. Do you like it?

LOGAN: Like it? It’s… fantastic! Thank you so much, Patton!

PATTON: You’re welcome. It makes me so happy that you like it, Logan.

LOGAN: Patton… I owe you an apology.

PATTON: What? An apology? For what?

LOGAN: For the treatment I have given to you in the past. I have consciously belittled your opinions so many times, and you never held it against me.

PATTON: Oh, don’t worry about that, Logan. I’ve always thought of it as you being grumpy, but I’ve always known you never really meant it.

LOGAN: How could you know that, Patton, when I didn’t know it myself?

PATTON: Well, when you’re an expert on feelings, you become aware of them. Feelings are not just about knowing them, Logan, it’s more about feeling them.

LOGAN: It has no logic… Of course it doesn’t, they’re feelings. Maybe that’s the reason I was such a… a jerk. I didn’t understand feelings, so I rejected them, and since you are the embodiment of Thomas’ feelings, I rejected you too. Will you please forgive me?

PATTON: There’s nothing to forgive, but if it will make you feel better, I forgive you, Logan.

LOGAN: Thank you, Patton, I… I…

[Logan looks at Patton, unable to speak. Before he knows how it happened, he approaches Patton and kisses him on the cheek, next to the corner of the mouth. Patton shows a face of surprise and shock, stroking his cheek where Logan kissed him. Logan gets nervous]

LOGAN: I… I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from, I…

PATTON: [with a cute smirk, he puts his finger on Logan's mouth to shut him up, then he looks at him with a loving glance] You certainly took your time to confess it, Teach. I love you too, Logan.

LOGAN: I didn’t conf… mmm...

[Logan shows a glance of shock when Patton starts kissing him on the lips, interrupting him mid sentence, then he just closes his eyes as he hugs Patton and kisses him back]

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #deceit sanders #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfic #fanfic #prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #logicality #romantic logicality #aspects and fanfics

[bleepblopbloop56]

Talk To Me

PART THREE OF DEN OF THEIVES AU

Part one

Part two

Please read those first!!

“Prince roman requests your presence in his room” a small servent stood in front of Virgil's open door, waiting expectantly for the nights response. Knights slept in the bottom levels of the castle, behind locked doors the public would never see open, always ready to protect the royal family no matter the time of night. Virgil knew what Roman was doing sending a child to take him to his room, it was his way if saying know one needs to know. An adult servent meant important to his job, a child meant he needed someone one to talk to.

He thanked the child and pushed past her, slipping her a few coins for her service. He took the back hallways, as per usual, sliding past servants with meals or baskets of laundry. Virgil was allowed to roam the main parts if the castle freely, he was the prince's personal guard and secret lover, under Roman's rule he could do whatever he wanted, but Virgil knew he wouldn't want him to. Servants gossip was one thing, but royal gossip was another. Servants saw everything that went on in the castle and never said a word, but the higher ups in the castle were prone to spreading rumors throughout the kingdom. Anything to damage the princes reputation and cause drama.

“You needed me your majesty?” Virgil asked, shutting the door behind him as he entered. The entrance was unnecessarily large, a double door nearly as tall as the grand ceiling of romans room decorated white with gold hand painted designs. The room had been the queens before she passed some 20 years ago. Roman flinched at the name as he turned to look at the welcome intruder.

“Virge, you know it's just you and me, don't call me that” roman muttered walking over to his knight. His shirt had been discarded in preparation for sleep, leaving the scars covering his chest and arms on full display. In public he was never seen not fully covered, something the ladies of the kingdom mourned over. Rigorous training and fighting had filled his childhood, ‘a prince who doesn't know to fight was no prince at all’ to quote his father. Unfortunately this left quite the number of accidents burned into his skin from a slip of a blade or the claw of a beast. He'd been told they were a sign of weakness, of his failures, so he covered them.

“I need to talk to you” roman mumbled into his knights hair, pressing a kiss to the black locks. This was Virgil's favorite side of Roman, the one only he got to see. The one hid away from the public or his dad or the servants. This roman was his. When he pulled back Virgil noticed how scared Roman's eyes looked; Tired and worried and..hopeful.

“My knight.. I need to leave for a while and… and I don't know if I'll make it home again” romans voice seemed to quiver as he took a deep breath and stepped back. “Logan has agreed to enchant my mothers sword in the morning and I plan to leave silently by nightfall.. No one else can know about this dear” Roman's hands stayed on Virgil's face even as it twisted in confusion and fear.

“Where are you going” he whispered leaning in closer to his touch. Virgil was no stranger to roman going off on his little quests and squabbles with forest beasts, or disappearing for days on prince work but none of that was this secretive. Hell, he even came with him for most of them once he had been promoted to Personal Guard (per Roman's request)

“I can't.. Tell you” Roman winced at his own words, speaking them slowly like if he said it outloud itd cease being true. He moved his hands down to Virgil's, walking backward with him till they hit the bed.

“Then let me go with you” Virgil spoke the words fast, full of fear and worry.

“Virgil, honey, no. You can't” roman looked like he wanted to cry. He scooted closer to Virgil, nestling his head into his neck and wrapping his arms close around him. “I'm gonna miss you” he mumbled into his shirt. Roman’s skin was burning underneath virgil's freezing hands, he was always cold especially when his anxiety was acting up. A knight with anxiety.. Imagine that.

“Roman” virgil pulled back and held the prince away from him. “Talk to me. Please, just tell me what's going on.” He pleaded. He was Roman's soldier first and boyfriend second, but the one thing both of those had in common was his need was to keep the prince safe.

Roman pulled back and pressed his lips into virgils, laying them down onto his bed gently.

“Tomorrow” he mumbled, pulling Virgil into his arms again. Virgil responded by pulling roman closer to him, tangling their legs and trying to remember when this had became a tradition. When Roman felt insecure or scared he would call his knight to his room and snuggle until dawn. Until all the bad thoughts went away..

Roman pressed his head into Virgil's chest. Despite being the smaller man Virgil often felt himself pulled into being the big spoon for roman. He may act all tough and mighty but in the end the prince merely wanted to be held and told things were okay. That's another thing Virgil got to see when no one else did. The one and only Prince Roman snuggled into his knights chest.

“Today was pretty scary huh” Virgil asked quietly. It was barely above a whisper but Roman was so close it didn't matter. Virgil felt him nod his head and hug him tighter. Virgil knew if asked by anyone else he'd put on his noble prince act. He'd stand up straight and do his fake perfect laugh and tell them that a prince never fears and that he knew the man was bluffing.

“Roman.. Where are you going” Virgil asked one more time.

Roman only shook his head.

----

A sharp knock in the door was what ended up waking the prince the next morning. That was… strange. No one ever dared bother the prince unless ordered to by the king, especially not during the morning. If it truly was dire they'd send a soldier with no problem busting open his door to drag the prince to safety. He pulled the heavy blanket over his sleeping knights body from where it lay kicked off of him from the night. Virgil always commented that sleeping with roman was like snuggling with a fire, most mornings finding himself on top of the covers rather than under them.

Another knock rang from the door as Roman was pulling on a lavish red robe to cover his exposed chest and arms. Annoyance ran through him at the disturbance so early in the morning, and the impatience of the stranger at the door.

“Oh good, you're up” Logan spoke before the door was even fully open, cutting off anything roman wanted to say before he even had the chance.

“I'm not.” Roman stood back and gestured into his room towards a desk in the corner “we can talk just keep your voice down” Logan, however, made no move to enter, instead standing in place with his arms behind his back.

“That won't be necessary, i simply wanted to tell you my conditions for the enchantment. I surveyed the castle over the night and I've decided that an adequate payment would be letting me have my pick of items from the castles library”  Logan spoke like this was the most normal thing in the world. Roman rubbed his temples like he was fighting off a headache

“Can't i just pay you like a normal person?” In a better world this man wouldn't even be in his castle. He'd have his sword enchanted without detection and he'd be off on his adventure already. In a perfect world he wouldn't need to leave at all.. Logan opened his mouth to speak before a quiet voice rang out from his bed.

“Roman?” Blankets shifted before a figure emerged from the blankets with heavy bed head and sleepy eyes.

“Oh. I apologize I.. didn't realize you would have company” Logan adjusted his glasses nervously, connecting the dots of the situation in front of him

“Yeah so how about you leave and well meet up in the library in an hour okay? Okay.” Roman shut the door as he was talking, effectively cutting off the man before he spoke just as he did before.

“What did he want?” Virgil asked, laying back down and snuggling into the pillow, muffling hos words.

“Don't worry about it my sweet, just get some rest” Roman laid down in bed again, pulling virgil into his arms and watching as he nuzzled his tired face into this chest. He always looked so cute like this. Half asleep, unaware of.anything going on, ready to slip back into sleep at any second.

“You told me we'd talk today” he mumbled quietly.

“ soon, Virgil, give me an hour.”

----

My lowkey writing taglist: @lowkeyvirgilobsessed

#thomas sanders #sander sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #den of theives au