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#Lucifer in therapy
taijahfern · 2 months
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duck therapy
part two of this post is here
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demonictacobeard · 1 month
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Adam, still going through it, texting Lucifer because that’s the only fucker he knows here who he only hates most of the time: Why is a fucking pig lying on my bed?!
Lucifer, texting back right away: It’s hard being the only one of your kind in a place, he must have been so excited to hear you were here that he came to see you himself
Adam, using Doomgle for the first time to find pictures of ducks saying die in a fire: Die
Lucifer, torn between being pissed at the duck meme or loving it: You first, no that would be second wouldn’t it?
Adam, sending a rolling eyes Hellmoji: Oh no I’m dead, so fucking original. Not like I haven’t done this before, bitch nothing you say will piss me off more then dying from advanced aging
Angel Dust, accidentally reading the whole thing over his shoulder, an easy task: That’s where Fat Nugget is?! Fuck, why’d he run off there? I don’t wanna go into the depression cave, and I know Adam doesn’t want me to come knocking either
Lucifer, waving his hand and opening a portal into Adam’s room: I’ve got this. Adam! You can deposit the pig here into the waiting arms of his owner
Adam, shoving his hands through the portal while holding a whining Fat Nugget: Who’s miniature ham is this even?
Angel Dust, scooping Fat Nugget up: Mine! Nugget, my sweet little shit. Why’d you go and fall asleep in a lamb paddock?
Adam, flipping Angel off through the portal and slowly dragging his hand out of it: Wilbur got lonely, guess Charlotte isn’t entertaining after all huh?
Angel Dust, flipping him off back with his lower arms: Just shut up you shitty ass sheep, a Shepard would leave you behind on purpose
Lucifer, cutting that short by closing the portal: Charlie’s going to be so happy he spoke to someone today
Husk, cleaning his lemon juicer: She’ll be happier about it then Adam himself
Lucifer, shaking his head: No, trust me he lives for this shit. He’d rather argue then being left completely to himself. Because if he’s all alone he’ll get bored. He hates being bored
Angel raising a suggestive eyebrow: And…your majesty just how do you know that?
Husk, slapping his face because he warned Angel about teasing the King Of Hell a hundred times: He has fun undoing everything I do to keep his ass alive, doesn’t he?
Lucifer, staring at him silently before laughing a little too loudly: No reason!
Angel after Lucifer tugs his collar and leaves awkwardly: I think the king doth protest too much, Husk
Husk, sighing: I think you are doth interested, in the business of a man who can kill a seven deadly sin if he wanted to, too much
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Hug Therapy: Hazbin Hotel
Charlie: You need a hug! (Jumps onto Angel's back and wraps her arms and legs around him tight)
Angel: .......Can you let go now?
Charlie: Do you feel better?
Angel: No.
Charlie: (snuggles in) Then it hasn't kicked in yet.
Angel: Ugh! Vags! Can you get your girlfriend off me?!
Vaggie: (in a similar position with Lucifer clinging to her back like a hedonistic koala) Can't. She switched herself out with her dad to focus her hug therapy on you.
Lucifer: Must. Give. Future. Daughter-in-Law. Ultra. Hug. Therapy. For Charlie.
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douglasbradburyverne · 2 months
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The serotonin rush of posting something keeps the inner demons away
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charlie has learned the truth about vaggie and now learns to be careful about asking her gf to make promises using playground rhymes
Vaggie: “Cross my heart, hope to die…”
Charlie: “Wait I'm regretting this-”
Vaggie: “Lute stuck a sword in my head and-
Charlie: “Vaggie don’t.”
Vaggie: "-cut out my fucking eye.”
Charlie: “From now on let’s just pinkie swear, okay?? Let’s just pinkie swear.”
Lucifer: “I think it’s a good sign Maggie can joke about it!”
Charlie: “Dad. You’ve been depressed for thousands of years. You wouldn’t know a good sign of mental healthiness if it turned into a rubber duck and bit you.”
Vaggie: “Wanna hear the verse where Lute rips off my wings and I spend the next three years lying to the love of my life about it?”
Lucifer: “Okay!!!”
Charlie: “NO.”
Vaggie: “But babe, what if I sang?”
Charlie: “…still NO.”
Vaggie: “We could harmonize on my despair..?”
Charlie: “…….uughhghghg FINE. But we're doing a triumphant reprise afterwards. With love.”
Lucifer: “Can me and the duckies do the backup chorus!?”
Vaggie: “You and the ducks are the only ones who can do the backup chorus, sir.”
Lucifer: “AWW SHUCKS! C’mon girls! Let’s sing about Maggie’s miserable life!”
Charlie: “Her HAPPY life, dad! She’s going to have a HAPPY one now.”
Vaggie: “I already do with you here, sweetie.”
Charlie: “….”
Vaggie: “...Charlie?”
Charlie: “Give me a sec. Can’t sing while smiling this hard, sorry.”
Vaggie: “Sure. Take your time.” (is smiling too hard to sing too)
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0bituarius · 1 month
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Sleep Deprived Thought
Tw: 18+ because I am mentally ill and unhinged, Minors DNI
I have three holes, every issue in the book, there are three of them. Let nature take its course.
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"it's so ironic that LUcifer the sin of pride is depressed."
it makes perfect sense actually because
1) who wouldn't be depressed after accidentally putting evil into the world and then getting cast into hell with your wife.
2) to get help for depression you have to ADMIT you have it, which in turn would damage his pride. He is the sin of pride, of course, his depression is off the walls. He won't even admit to himself he has depression.
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jupiter-iz-cool · 2 months
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Heyyyy, so like I need ideas for some x readers, im specifically looking for ideas for Alastor, Lucifer, and mayhaps Adam as well, I love them to death but I don't have much inspiration at the moment to write. If I particularly like your idea I might even draw it as well </3
My ask box is open please flood it, I will get to each request when I can 😮‍💨
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plaidposh · 1 year
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For @tarmaarn ⭐️
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ur-dad-satan · 4 months
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Horny Obey Me thoughts...
16+
Can you imagine how blushy the shyer brothers would be when they have to walk around after secretly making out with MC or knowing that MC gave them a hickey and hoping that it isn't visible, so they don't have to face rumors or questions?? I need that.
I wanna play with Diavolo's tits while he moans and whimpers at my touch. I wanna twirl his nipples in my fingers and hear his breath catch in his throat when I start to suck on them. I wanna sit on his-
I bet Barbatos is quiet in bed unless he's about to cum or being overstimulated. I headcannon that Barbatos gets overstimulated really easily and he has a love hate relationship with it. He loves the release he gets from it; his legs shaking, sweat coating his body, the gasping for air while he comes. He only hates it if he's not in control or his mind is too foggy to know what happens next.
I need to make Mam, Levi, Beel, and Dia worship me. The cocky arrogance, the undying loyalty, the slightly innocent muscle, and the hunky prince all bending to my every will? I need that.
I need Luci- and I say this in the nastiest, dirtiest, downright sinful way possible- to baptize me in his come.
There is no way I would survive a train being ran on me by the brothers let alone them and the adult undatables, but fuck it that isn't a good way to go.
I want Luci and Dia to Eiffel tower me so fucking bad. One down my throat, the other... somewhere else, and then make the circuit complete by having them kiss.
I want to make the "tough" and/or "muscly" boys wear little miniskirts and thigh highs so I can fuck the cute out of them. These boys specifically are Luci, Mam, Sat, Beel, Dia, and Barbs.
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am-1-ty · 1 month
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Some further whiteboard drawings with @akijam !!!!! Featuring Alastor Jesus….i have no explanation.
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radarchives · 2 months
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projectbluearcadia · 7 months
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The Warmth of Iolite
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Comfort - Lucifer x GN!MC
[ Scenario - You've just failed an important test, and you're panicking about your future to the point of isolating yourself and shutting down. Suffice to say Lucifer's not having it. Better get ready for the BIG SQUEEZE™ ]
This one goes out to @mirai06. Also college students because university is stressful as hell and y'all need hugs.
TW - DEPRESSIVE THOUGHTS
Wordcount - 1539
Today is officially the worst day of your life. Like the other shit in your life wasn’t enough, you just bombed an important midterm exam, and now you’re essentially screwed as far as your career goes. Why couldn’t that damn professor at least offer extra credit or some assignments to balance everything out? But no, no excuses, it’s your own fault, right? In this damn world, you either sink or swim, and you got a leg cramp, so now you sink. Sink, and sink, in the middle of the sea at night where no one has the ability or desire to help. 
Haha, wouldn’t it be something if you drowned?
Not like anyone would notice. You’re insignificant to them anyway. 
Just one little human among billions. 
Easily replaced. 
So…easily…
Your hand hovers on the door to the House of Lamentation, and your lip quivers before a sudden sob erupts from your mouth, and tears spill down your eyes. I wanted to go home so bad, but what’s the point? It’s not like it’ll make me feel any better about this whole bullshit situation. Mammon and Levi will make fun of me. Satan will get pissy because he spent so long tutoring me. Asmo and Beel won’t get it. Belphie won’t care. Even my own boyfriend…
You take your hand away from the door handle and resign to sitting on the steps of the House of Lamentation, and bury your head against your knees. What else is there to do but cry? 
“MC?” Your sobs choke themselves short at the deep, surprised voice above you. Of course Lucifer has to come home now. Of course, because he’s always protective of you. “What happened?” 
“Nothing,” you mumble, wiping your eyes against your knees. Like hell if Lucifer is going to buy that frothing pile of bullshit. 
So, without batting an eye, Lucifer picks you up, drags you inside the house, and carries you straight to his bedroom, where he shortly closes and locks the door. You know him well enough to realize you’re not escaping this room unless he lets you.
“What. Happened?”
“...can we not talk about it?” 
“No. We’re talking about it.” 
“Stop being a bossy asshole. I don’t want to talk about it. ” 
“I don’t care. MC, you can’t expect me to see you so distraught and not be curious about the reason.” He’s right; you can’t. He knows when you lie, and the only secret he lets you keep is what underwear you’re wearing to bed, a secret which he usually doesn’t let you keep for long.
“Are you going to let me go if I say that my life’s a fucking mess and I don’t know what to do anymore?”  Lucifer pauses for a long, shocked moment, blinking at you once or twice before his arms are around you, tight enough that you’re almost wheezing for breath as he squeezes you. Still, the smell of his smoky clothing, the feel of the fluff on his coat smothering your face, the gentle weight against you—it’s comforting and familiar, and it reminds you of the cuddling sessions, the late night chatter, the dates… 
“I’m not letting you go for the rest of the night,” he murmurs against your head, and you feel a fresh set of tears burst forth, your body starting to shake uncontrollably. “Not when you’re like this. You can cry, MC. And when you’ve cried and cried and let everything out, we’re going to talk.” 
And you do cry. You want to cry. You’re practically bawling into Lucifer’s chest, half-screaming sobs escaping your shuddering lips while Lucifer runs his hands through your hair, nursing his fingers against your scalp and murmuring soft sweet nothings. You can’t hear a word he’s saying over your harsh, sniffling gasps, but there’s a part of you that finds it soothing nonetheless. He doesn’t say a word about the snot and tears and saliva drenching his shoulder, and you find yourself loving him for that simple fact. 
Eventually, you’re calm enough to at least tell Lucifer what happened and why you’re so upset, and he listens quietly and patiently to every word. The anger, the pain, the sadness, the despair, the dread—he takes it in as you convey it. And, finally, when you’re finished, Lucifer opens his mouth. 
“MC, whether or not you’re jumping to conclusions about the effects of this test on your career progress, this is not the end of the world.”
“But since I failed this, I can’t make the grade, and if I can’t make the grade, then I can’t pass this class, and it’s required for my major…” 
“So what if you don’t pass, MC? Just take it again.” 
“But I can’t pass it,” you retort. “Plus that costs even more.”
“First of all, MC, you’re investing in something you want. It’s no different from making a payment on a car. Second of all, you can pass it. Did you use the resources available to you? And before you answer that, if you’re absolutely certain that this genuinely isn’t in your aptitude, then you just need to find something else you want to do. Within a human limit, you can do whatever you’d like with your life—that is very much your choice. It’s your choice to let your mistakes stop you from moving forward, just like it’s your choice to open up to me. MC, the past has passed, and we live in the present.”
“But what if I make the same mistake? What if I can’t recover from the debt?” 
“If you go into this doubting yourself, you’re already part of the way to making the same mistake. MC, if you tell yourself you can’t do something, you will eventually believe it. Humans are fortunately or unfortunately adept at brainwashing themselves given enough time, so I need you to turn yourself in the other direction. I can and will help you get there, but this is your life and your mind.”
I’m not sure if I want it to be.
“My mind is fucked up too.” 
“Then we un-fuck it,” he replies, taking hold of your hands with an awry smile. “Life can throw you whatever bullshit it wants, but you can still make the most of it. Let’s suppose you really are barred from your dream job by one or two mistakes. Is that the only way you’ll be happy? Once you enter the workforce with your major in hand, then what? What if the only job opening you can get with that degree pays nothing? What if it pays, but we never get to see each other? Enjoy yourself. While you’re…” Lucifer’s voice catches, and you feel a pit form in your stomach as you see an old wound flash in his eyes. “Still alive.” 
“You’re talking about the past being already behind us, but you’re still hovering on it,” you accuse, and Lucifer closes his eyes. 
“The past is behind us. That doesn’t mean I don’t miss people that aren’t there anymore. MC, what I'm trying to say is that you can't go through your life carrying your every mistake on your back. Believe me, I tried, and you were the one who made me realize that it wasn't healthy."  
"Me?" You blink at him, almost as if second-guessing that you’re looking at your boyfriend. 
"Do our late-night talks not ring a bell?" Lucifer chuckles, cupping your face in his hands. "When I say that you are precious to me, I mean it in full sincerity. To take the words out of your mouth, you are my lightbringer, MC.” 
“Am I still going to be special to you if I turn into a worthless mess of a human being?” you mutter bitterly, avoiding his face.
“Yes,” was his simple answer, and as he turned your face back towards his own, you saw the sweetness that filled up his body—sweetness that was completely yours to ask for, because he really would do anything for you. “Even if I’m no longer in your life, you will always be special to me, and I will always be waiting for your stories of success to reach my ears. MC, you’ve been through a lot, and this setback might feel like the last straw, but there’s no such thing as a “last straw” as long as we keep living. 
“I want you to find a way to shoulder only the responsibilities you can control in the here and now. I want you to look at the weather forecast tomorrow, see a 50% chance of rain and not blindly assume you’ll receive a torrential downpour just because you go outside. That’s not how probability works.  
“Maybe you’ll have a hard time in the future because of this. But hard times don’t last forever, understand? And your family here will be with you, cheering you on through it all, pushing you forward.�� 
Lucifer leans his forehead against yours, and you find yourself closing your eyes as the tranquil heat of his skin sinks into yours, a feeling of security enveloping you as he intertwines your fingers together. Here, you are protected. Here, he protects you. 
“Hold your head with pride, MC. The present is yours for the taking.”
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witheredapple · 4 months
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Diavolo: Lucifer, it’s been a pet peeve of mine since I was a kid, and I’ve asked you so many times that when you ignore me it feels a little passive-aggressive
Lucifer: And you nag me constantly it feels, mmm, like I’m talking to my mother
Diavolo: When I have to nag, it makes me feel like I am your mother, which could be why it’s been a month since we played with each other’s pogo sticks!
Lucifer: *Blushing hard*
Diavolo: OH MY HELL
Belphie: HOW DO YOU THINK WE FEEL, DIAVOLO
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toonietoonstian · 5 days
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Raise your hand if you had daddy issues that never got solved 🥲🖐
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goldenphoenix4 · 3 months
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sam and dean having to lead a therapy session between god and lucifer
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