#Lucy Kalamack

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Witch With No Name Chapters 25 & 26

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Chapter 25

“Manual it is,” the vampire said, and with a soft grunt, she planted a side kick on the lock, exploding the door inward.

Chapter 25 summary: They all go to what's apparently the only hotel in Cincinnati (which considering that there's apparently one coffee shop, it checks out). Like most of this series, there's a lot of stuff that's going on, but it's like “Nina whines for five paragraphs about not having a gun” and “Jenks complains about old-school technology and how he can't get in”. It's pointless and adds nothing to the plot.

Trent and Rachel go into the room where Ellie and Landon are supposed to be staying with the kidnapped Lucy. However, in the room they find Ellie tied up, and spitting mad. She basically regurgitates Landon's evil plot, but the others are unimpressed because they figured it out ages ago. For some reason, despite the book constantly wanking off about how Lucy is a seat of power, Landon left her unsupervised in the room with Ellie. This allows mother and daughter to escape while Trent and Rachel go face down Landon.

Chapter 26

That probably wasn’t going to go over very well.

Chapter 26 summary: They fight Landon and his supporters. Despite everything, and if only because there's still a few more chapters left, the lines start to collapse anyway.

...That's it. That's literally the entire goddamned chapter. I am so fucking tired of this series. I don't give a fuck anymore.

#The Hollows #Witch With No Name #Chapter 25 #chapter 26 #Nina the Vampire #Jenks the Pixy #Trent Kalamack #Rachel Morgan #Ellasbeth the Elf #Lucy Kalamack #i'm done goodbye

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Witch With No Name chapters 5 & 6

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Chapter 5

“You’ve had over a year to work on this.” Cormel’s New York accent fell flat, when I usually found it charming. “You expect me to believe that today, only when I threaten you, that you have a viable plan. Just like that?”

Now the timeline in this series is a bit on the hazy side, but I feel like “a year to work on this” is not true. Especially since the previous book was the first that we're hearing about the vampires even giving a shit about this.

But as I washed my hands free of the salt water, I didn’t think it mattered.

Chapter 5 summary: Rachel calls Rynn and tells him that she has a plan. He's angry that she's apparently had a “year” to fix the vampire situation, but only after the failed assassination attempt on Ivy did she actually decide to act. (Honey, you should be glad that she's not showing up at your door with a stake.) Anyway, he gives her until sunset to do something, which she whines isn't enough times, but he's a piece of shit, so whatever.

She and Trent then go into the church, which Jenks and Belle apologize over the fact that the vampires trashed it with a seemingly raging sex party. Every new room Rachel reaches a new level of horror upon seeing the mess that they made. Jenks and Belle managed to keep people out from the kitchen, but they apparently all had sex on top of Rachel's bed.

After Trent puts her sheets into the wash, they sit down and try to think of a plan. Al is obviously out, and Rachel doesn't exactly want to owe Newt any more favors. Trent eventually calls Landon, despite Rachel's protests, but Trent insists that things have not been going well for Landon.

Chapter 6

“You are forcing our daughter to associate with a demon!” Ellasbeth exclaimed. “If you were anyone else, Lucy would be mine by the child abuse laws!”

What's next? Is she going to stop Lucy from associating with black people, too?

Trent was willing to sacrifice everything for me, but I didn’t know if I could let him.

Chapter 6 summary: Rachel is out trying to set the garden/church cemetery right when one of the pixie wives, Izzyanna, says that there's a lady there. Rachel is about to go in when she hears Ellasbeth arguing over custody with Trent. Again. After listening to it for a while, Rachel goes in and calls Ellie out on her bullshit, stating that if Ellie is serious about wanting to be in Lucy's life, then she should prove it by moving to Ohio, instead of living in Washington. Ellie balks, and Rachel is like “You see what I mean?”

Anyway, Ellie came in with Landon, because “Trent wouldn't take my calls”. Which... gee. No idea why he'd do that. /sarcasm Trent and Ellie go into the other room to talk, which leaves Rachel to talk with Landon.

He says that the charm she and Trent had made probably wouldn't work, but supplies an old elf charm that nobody uses anymore, which Rachel takes to mean that it's dark, since elves only stop doing black magic. But the spell takes the soul of something unattached (ie, an undead vampire's loose soul running around), and sticks it into the soul of a baby, but in the process, destroys the baby's soul. They talk about this for a while, and even though Rachel is upset over the thought of destroying the soul of a baby, she doesn't exactly say no...

Landon and Ellie leave, and then Trent and Rachel talk about Ellie's poor life choices. They make googoo eyes at one another until Jenks complains about the entire thing. I'm so fucking bored with all of this already.

#The Hollows #Witch With No Name #chapter 05 #chapter 06 #Rachel Morgan #Trent Kalamack #Ellasbeth the Elf #Jenks the Pixy #Belle the Fairy #Rynn Cormel #Lucy Kalamack #shitty parents are shitty #shitty people are shitty

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Witch With No Name chapters 21 & 22

Read the rest of the snark and see image descriptions below!

Chapter 21

“Landon not only gets control of the dewar but he also gets Lucy. Because of me. Because if not for me, none of this would be happening! Forgive me for being a little upset.”

I still don't know why she didn't just pretend to be dead for a bit longer. Let the elves dig their own graves, kill enough of the vampires to get everybody really riled up over the entire thing, and then step in to save the day. People would have been way more receptive towards Rachel's hero complex if the situation seemed dire enough.

But no. That would require having more than a singular IQ point.

The love of two men so determined, actually. I hoped I survived it.

Chapter 21 summary: Rachel and Trent sit in a cell together. After a while, Trent gets up and pulls all of the cameras/recording devices off from where they were hidden.

Al shows up, saying that it's 6 PM, and that he has other obligations, so go hire another babysitter. However, Trent goads the demon into taking them home, where they find that in the scant few seconds between Al leaving, Ellie had stormed into the house with elf police to take custody of the children. Quen was knocked out and reports about this, and also says that Jon went after them. Al makes a phone call and then says that he'll be back with the girls in 15 minutes. Everybody is stressed the fuck out over this.

Chapter 22

“The FIB, actually,” Al said, and I sank down into a chair at the breakfast nook. “I chose the FIB over the I.S. because the I.S. currently functions on decisions from old white vampires who have lost touch with the everchanging social structure and are slowly losing power. Progress and all.”

You know your social structure is bad when a dude who has been trapped in a literal hellscape for two thousand years comes up and says “Wow, your local police system fucking sucks.”

That had always served me well in the past.

Chapter 22 summary: Al returns with only Ray, although Trent doesn't seem all that worried about getting Lucy back. Al also says that he got a job with the FIB, who are, you know, actually good at their job instead of standing around with their thumbs up their asses like the IS.

After Al leaves, Rachel calls her mom, and is surprised to learn that Ivy and Nina are there. Ivy says that David came with the pack and rescued her and Nina, but she lost her phone. She warns Rachel to stay away from the city because things are crazy and terrible there right now, and she'd be doing more harm than good if she went.

Trent comes back and whines about everything for a while. He tells Rachel that the two of them will go to another dumb meeting that will probably not solve anything. They then bang; I'm over it.

#The Hollows #Witch With No Name #chapter 21 #Chapter 22 #Rachel Morgan #Al the Demon #Trent Kalamack #Lucy Kalamack #Ray the Elf #Shitty government is shitty #shitty police are shitty #shitty parents are shitty

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Work with Trent? With that dragon in the background watching me? Was he nuts?

Chapter 17 summary: At home, Rachel practices on some old charms of her dad's before she gets the actual elven artifacts. She also mopes a lot about what happened.

Quen shows up to get Lucy, but also brings Ellasbeth with her. Rachel basically rehashes the entire plot to Quen, and they discuss what they should do. However, Quen goes on to say that with Trent MIA, the other elves won't loan Quen their magic rings. Even if it's to save the goddamned world. This means that they're probably going to have to steal it.

Jenks also mentions that Jax was spotted nearby, and Rachel is sure that Nick and Cute Socks are lurking near, too. She's angry at the thought of Cute Socks trying to bend the rules to kill Rachel anyway.

Eventually, they gather the children to go and leave. Rachel starts to tell Ellasbeth what she really thinks, but holds herself back. After a moment, Quen is kind of like “No, go ahead. I'm in dire need of a good laugh.” Rachel calls Ellasbeth out on her bullshit about Trent.

When Ellasbeth storms out (with the kids), Quen again asks Rachel to help protect Trent. He says that things have changed now, the implication being that Ceri was the linchpin to all of this. Rachel gives a softer no than before.

#The Hollows #Ever After (Hollows 11) #chapter 17 #Rachel Morgan #Quen the Elf #Lucy Kalamack #Ellasbeth the Elf #Trent Kalamack #Ku'Sox the Demon #Nick Sparagmos

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“Good, because I’m really going to need it,” I whispered, leaning on him even harder.

Chapter 17 summary: Rachel wakes up in Trent's house. She off-handedly mentions that when they got to his place last night, they brought her to his infirmary, where they removed the bullet. She then threw a fit unless she could shower and sleep in an actual bed.

She goes downstairs, where she finds Ceri with Ray and Lucy, Jenks, and Winona. Since Trent is now the sole guardian over Lucy (via that weird elf ritual that he did), Ceri is raising Ray and Lucy as sisters, and being a mother to both. As Rachel sits and watches the babies, and then the way that Trent is co-parenting with Ceri, she's kind of awed by the entire thing. She feels like Trent and Ceri might have a political marriage, but that Ceri would never actually share a bed with him.

After Ceri gives Rachel some brimstone laced cookies, Trent then says that he wants to show her the crime scene, where those guys took the equipment that he had. He got it replaced, despite the legality of it, but he's worried that they'll come back to take the new stuff, too.

Rachel also wants the bracelet off, but she's worried that literally nothing in the world is going to be able to stop Al.

#The Hollows #A Perfect Blood #chapter 17 #Rachel Morgan #Trent Kalamack #Ceri the Elf #Lucy Kalamack #Ray the Elf #Al the Demon

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The auditorium was closed for the duration. No one in or out. It had begun.

Chapter 20 summary: Ivy, Rachel, and Pierce take one of the hotel's cars down to the convention center. Despite the fact that this is an insanely serious thing, a witch coven meeting, people are acting like it's goddamned Comic-Con and showing up in all manor of costumes ranging from cliché witch to Neo from The Matrix.

They go in, where Ivy is given hell for wanting to go past the security check-point. However, they bully the poor guard into letting her pass. There, Alice comes up, and says a lot of stuff that Rachel is like “Yep. That's my mom. No faking any of that!”

They go into the auditorium, where Jenks eventually shows up. He says that Trent is in the bathroom... with Lucy. And he's just told them that Trent has a kid when Trent shows up with aforementioned baby. Alice scares Lucy, but Lucy is instantly taken with Rachel the second Alice presses the baby into Rachel's arms. And it's pretty much insta-love for Rachel and Lucy, too. Jenks explains that Trent's ex-fiancee was pregnant when they were supposed to have their wedding. And that Lucy is the first elf baby to be born without the demon curse on them. And because of Rachel, as well as the hard work of Trent's scientists, all elf babies will be born normal.

Vivian then walks up onto the stage and announces that the thing is about to get started. Nobody has any confidence in things going well for Rachel.

#The Hollows #Pale Demon #chapter 20 #Rachel Morgan #Ivy Tamwood #Pierce the Ghost #Alice Morgan #Trent Kalamack #Jenks the Pixy #Lucy Kalamack

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“His and Ellasbeth’s. You got fairy farts in your ears? She was pregnant when you broke up their wedding. Lucy is the first elf baby to be born perfect, even before Ceri’s. The first without the demon curse, and every baby born after her will be perfect. Because of you.”

Okay, but like... can we get back to the goddamned trial now?

#The Hollows #Pale Demon #chapter 20 #Trent Kalamack #Jenks the Pixy #Lucy Kalamack #bad timing

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“I about crapped my pants when I found out. No wonder Trent wouldn’t spill. That’s his kid. His and Ellasbeth’s. That’s what he was doing, Rache! We were baby snatching! Like elves used to in the old days!”

What the fuck. I thought he was going after a ring.

#The Hollows #Pale Demon #chapter 20 #Rachel Morgan #Jenks the Pixy #Trent Kalamack #Lucy Kalamack

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“You’ll never guess!” he said, darting back and forth. “The guy is slicker than toad snot. Trent is—”

“A daddy,” Ivy interrupted, her gaze fixed on the door we’d come in.

So Rachel's trial is about to get underway, and then the book decides to drop this goddamned bombshell on us...

#The Hollows #Pale Demon #chapter 20 #Jenks the Pixy #Trent Kalamack #Lucy Kalamack #bad timing

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American Demon chapters 29 & 30

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Chapter 29

Manipulating Ellasbeth felt risky, more risky than breaking into Landon’s office so we could tie him up and perform a curse to extract a murdering energy source bent on making me kill Trent.

Chapter 29 summary: When Rachel and Trent wake up after a long sleep, they're both still pretty randy. But they can at least focus on the actual plot, so I don't mind the weird innuendos much. Rachel tries to set a circle, but her magic is kind of funky thanks to what that spell did to her and Trent.

They go out to the kitchen, and are surprised to see not only Ivy, but also Glenn. Glenn said that he left The Order, although... I don't really fucking care about that. They stand around and talk about the plot for a really long time. The girls come in and the book keeps getting side-tracked by that. And look... I like children. But my problem with the characters of Lucy and Ray is that this is the 14th fucking book in this series. Get to the goddamned point already.

Oh, and Ivy and Nina are leaving to DC until Christmas, which is a bit more than a month away. That seems like it's going to come up in another book, but like... I don't fucking care about this series anymore. Before they leave, she and Glenn are going to go in front of the news and explain about the baku. Nobody is certain how that's going to help, but the idea is that if they can convince the public to put the pressure on the IS, who is locking up the other baku victims, it could help them.

Chapter 30

“Just in time for tea,” Landon said from the kitchen, and both Trent and I spun.

Chapter 30 summary: Trent, Rachel, and Jenks go to where the dewar has set up headquarters in Cincinnati. They're able to move around thanks to some info that Zach gave them before they left.

As they're going, they almost get into trouble when some random people find them, but Trent uses too much magic and knocks them out. His magic is running a little out of his control, and they warn him not to use any magic unless he can help it.

They continue on until they reach Landon's personal living quarters. And then that's it. That's the entire goddamned chapter. Sneaking around to get to the fucking plot.

#The Hollows #American Demon #chapter 29 #Rachel Morgan #Trent Kalamack #Detective Glenn #Ivy Tamwood #Ray the Elf #Lucy Kalamack #Chapter 30 #Jenks the Pixy